Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Andy Samberg, Neil Campbell, Lily Sullivan

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

Show favorites Andy Samberg and Neil Campbell join Scott to spread the word about their new Comedy Central animated series Digman! as well as the whole gang from South Park. Then, Sister Margaret drops by to blow up the spot of her "bad" sisters cheating at their nightly games, and Dirty Dog joins - bark bark - for the one nasty reason of reminding kids to do their homework. 

You take the good you take the bad you take it all and then you have all my stuff I'm calling the cops welcome to comedy bang bang thank you to chicken wing supreme for that catchphrase submission and boy here we are another episode of comedy bang bang and you know what we're about to do we're about to break off another hundo that's right episode 801 we're breaking off holy cow a new hundo with this we closed a hundo in our last 800th episode and now we're breaking off the new one our ninth hundo very exciting and we have very special guests to help us do that coming up a little later we have a very special guest and we have a someone else who's a very special guest all right so good show get hyped my name is scott augerman and to help us break off

this particular hundo we have a couple of great people here with us they've been on the show so almost as long as we've been doing it one person in particular I believe has been on since episode 16 I think back in the day and this is his 11th appearance on the podcast I believe you know him from such television programs as oh no brooklyn 99 that's a real one saturday night live which would you agree that they shouldn't call it saturday night live they should call it like wednesday on tivo because that's when i catch up with it yeah or like youtube monday yeah exactly and he has a new program well should i introduce you both i guess well you know him from that

then there's another guy who's also maybe never been on the show before i don't know but uh a good friend he used to uh run the comedy bang bang tv show and now these two have a new show together premiering this wednesday on comedy central called dickman oh my gosh please welcome andy sandberg and neil cambell yes yes hi hello thank you for having would it surprise you that you're now a duo would it surprise us yeah based on what well now you're a duo now you do talk shows as a duo and now you're like you used to be in the lonely island you've given that up and now you're the it's the two of you yeah keeping your arm essentially dead to me yep uh with good cause yeah dude those what's fucking suck what yeah did they fuck you over personally or they're just uh

yeah stole a lot of moolah from me moolah yeah i know this look we're just starting this but i do want to point out a silicon gel uh thing that comes in like a box of shoes yeah torn open and the little balls are rolling all over the table are they really do you want to uh clean that up or are you just gonna look like with my nose you a dog sorry about that i believe paul f tomkins uh we were recording an episode of three of him and he found that and tore it open and got it and i uh left it there so that's just part of the now it's part of it's part of what happens on comedy bang bang now and they say do not eat yeah so but you can ingest certainly yeah all right i'm just gonna snort those a little sound work uh welcome to the welcome to the show

guys uh andy uh you've been on the show ever since our early days episode 16 that was i feel like every time i come back you tell me a fact a hollywood fact a hollywood fact right about wait a minute wait a minute do we need to hear oh i think we do man didn't we didn't waste much time going to inglewood now everybody do you facts and know your stars glamour and lots of bars get a drink at a club then walk walk in front of the chinese theater hollywood facts take out your digs check out the facts this hollywood facts bro pretty good uh considering considering it's been now probably a year and a half since you've heard that since the last episode you were on sounds about right you've been on every in every hundo by the way is that true you've been on

episode 16 was your first you were in our first hundo and then you were on a 100 episode a 200 300 400 500 600 700 now 801 i can't believe i was on the 16th one yeah when i came and did it i in my mind it was like it had already been going forever i i believe that you uh were on with i think zack and andy daily and one other person zack alphanakis and one other person what a dream i think the second time you're on you're on with adam palli and you said to me remember the first time i was on it was on with all these great people what happened i said that specifically because palli was doing his worst work that day he was pulling like a classic palli i don't care move which i think was from this actual episode

it was the hollywood facts because he was doing bro again and let's let's hear it again uh going downtown going to inga wood now everybody check do you facts and know your stars glitz and glamour and lots of bars get a drink at a club then go walk in front of the chinese theater hollywood facts take out to digs check out the facts it's the hollywood facts bro there is a second time was better uh pretty good we'll get up by the end of the show uh and neil you don't have a theme song no i beg to differ do you want to come up with one right now sure okay here we go and three a two a three two one well it's neil and i'm here i like to be on the show dear pretty short yeah pretty short but uh it's like a loop you kind of oh okay you want to

loop it like 15 times yeah yeah and then kind of someone sink the hook over it oh okay yeah wait who do you want to sing the hook over you i don't know that i can find the time no exactly but it's always a thing it's the time oh our most valuable resource there's a guy who talks about that actually yeah oh yeah yeah i think he died well i hope not oh no oh no he's alive guys you have a new show called digman yeah true very true we made it you actually put it together did you pay for it too or did yeah all out of pocket wow yeah yeah bad call yeah bad investment entire thing's been on spec yeah and we paid for all the ad space too for the no for all the companies yeah why we suck oh my god how much business sorry yeah oh it isn't so

how much money are you out like 100 million yeah 100 million god and that must be mostly coming from you Andy yeah well we don't have it oh oh oh it's an iou you were paying iou lot of loans yeah Silicon Valley bank kind of gave us oh well if they gave you the loan i think you're fine oh great oh we're in the queer we're yeah it's worked out perfect and we're a hit what um this is an animated show i uh i couldn't agree with you more thank you very much would you believe would you believe i saw the trailer to it uh it's it pushes the boundaries of one's imagination but i will take you at your word you have internet access to the tv yeah leal's always been the practical one yeah i did not watch it on my tv though i watch it on my phone yeah and how's the

sound the sound was i mean it's fine yeah and the wi-fi wi-fi spotty sometimes up here in the hills but it uh does okay wi-fi for a wife guy thanks i've always said that i was gonna say wi-fi try bud dry who won the bud bowl this year i believe it was bud light oh congratulations to bud light for another successful win have they ever not won um i think bud won yeah and bud dry was their star quarterback yes i think it would be fun if there was a bud bowl puppy bowl crossover and there's bunch of puppies playing against a bunch of bruski's and drinking beer yeah and getting drunk as fuck just fucked up little pups yeah yeah and then they're like these like hot cheerleaders or something too uh well yeah okay sure yeah i guess i i guess if you want it to be successful

so tell me about digmin it's obviously uh an animated show that i saw the trailer to but what more do we know about it that's just some of the footage from the show if you think that the show is just i watched no i watched the whole season right no no no no no we there's other animated scenes it's not just re-editing the that two minutes of footage it's not you guys talking in between these animated scenes i already watched no no not at all well one episode is but the rest aren't yeah oh wow that one the network does not like hmm do you think the fans will doubtful okay but i like the idea that there could be fans yeah that's what we're praying for tiny spider oh my god tiny spider and there's a tiny spider how tiny it's like you can't even see it minuscule

wow but maybe like the exact size as the one that bit peter parker uh oh the exact amount of radio activity that's what i'm hoping come here little guy would you play spider-man if they ask you absolutely yeah oh i would love to ruin that for everyone i can only imagine you being cast as an iconic superhero just it must ruin your life because for the next three years everyone goes this person sucks and it's going to suck could be and then and then the rest of your life after that half the people go this that person did suck i was right yes well yeah it's pretty hard to do anything now right without everyone saying you suck yeah i know yeah and even if you're a good spider man people that are fans of oscorp will be mad true for kind of the the havoc you've

rocked upon their corporation exactly they were reputable before you and your whole fiasco yeah so obviously digman is uh uh an animated show with a trailer and you said when one makes a television show you think about such shows as cheers as mash mash that first shot of felix the cat when they first broadcast televised image right right uh the color bars the color very classic the boop on top of the color bars just classic television programs do you say does that get intimidating when you're like i can't compare to those why am i even bothering well when you set out to do a new one you go look we're never gonna be color bars right we're never gonna be that first felix the cat shot so let's just follow our muse try and make each other giggle giggle and toot

and just let her rip and then see if there's a show there you know yeah and how long did you guys giggle toot and let her rip before you were like i think there might be something here well we were giggling a lot the first time we got together to write but we were we were tickling each other oh okay yeah so we kind of went that doesn't really count i don't think the show is funny yet with feathers or or with hands oh well feathers fingers yeah yeah all the f's every single f really yeah yeah frank fritters foghorns leghorns foghorns well no that doesn't start with that oh that's true yeah as desperately as we wanted to tickle each other with leghorns so uh but you came up with what you came up with and then at the end of the day do you look at it

and go like well you know i mean it's here we may as well put it out is that the process how does this happen yeah pretty much we were like now that we've put all the work in why not have it be a show and then we just uh well we have this magic lamp what yeah you're bearing the lead here what where'd you get this magic lamp i mean i don't want to brag but there's a motherfucking genie in it that's the best kind of magic lamp i know and so we were all genie we've got a wish left we can't say what the first two we made were oh okay and you couldn't wish for more wishes obviously no because then that would have been our third wish right yes wait no that but that would okay you could have asked for more wishes and you want to make sure you get your first two

wishes before you ask for more wishes so you get the max amount you know yeah but infinity plus two okay all right interesting so anyway so what what was this third wish it's for it to be a show yeah and now the genie's gone or genie's gone we got our first wish where'd he where'd he go where the where's the lamp landfill yep you threw it away yeah the gene because it genie's good for someone else oh that's true that's true we didn't want anyone else to get a show you know what i see i drove on the way here i saw a guy driving a solid gold dump truck so you think maybe i think a guy at the landfill found this maybe found it yeah well let's hope you doesn't have any adult animation ideas oh this is adult animation yes which i adults animate it is

what that means oh okay not child labor like every other show you took a hard stand on that yeah oh well i said what are two kids it's fine they you know they could draw these little lines real fast if they're really good at drawing yeah yeah yeah they so it was like a competition you had to do like an art competition or something exactly like in a magazine yeah you have to draw a duck do you ever do one of those i drew a turtle i once colored in a picture of um cookie monster and then i and then i what color oh blue blue good good because then i won tickets to sesame street on ice oh really thanks to my color my drawing and did you see that blue little monster himself i saw cookie monster cookie monster he was on ice he stopped there was some sort of wrecking ball

situation i think he got involved with yeah wrecking ball mildly syrus wrecking ball situation this was a pre mildly wrecking ball whoa okay before the uh this is popularized this is bc before syrus yes yeah before syrus wrecking ball you see yeah and and so neil who was that who performed on the show all the uh the sesame street muppets so what did you hook up yeah wait who did you hook up okay cool um you know that one that's in the trash can not oscar but there's like another guy who's in the trash can oh i remember he's not like furry or anything he just is in a trash can wait he's like pink and wrinkly yeah yeah he's kind of you're thinking of a worm yes yes oh okay okay a little worm that comes out yeah yeah and then oh yeah yeah right at the

capital center and wait yeah interesting okay interesting i like cookie monster because he's like i'm not going to have a traditional name i'm going to wait until my personality develops and then i'm going to name myself after that yeah after my quirks yeah it's like me neil because you like to kneel yeah yeah i was always just bowling to people what's your actual name stand so okay oh man that's a good thing you changed yeah wow you i've never seen you standing by the way no thank you master even when even when i know you played several parts on the comedy bang bang tv show we had to see gi legs on exactly yeah worth you're like an opposite dwarf inverted door yep you're like you're like ford or fraud it's a too late for an inverted dwarf to

be the guest character guest later today i mean there's always the power of non-linear editing yeah that's true avid yeah final pro of course what was this cut on i'm gonna tell you adobe adobe premiered why was that was that because the editor preferred it or was that because all of the equipment that you hired had it already loaded on editor i think i you know i think it's the workflow with the animators they got to get those drawings into the machine somehow interesting interesting stuff yeah interesting stuff well we've covered pretty much everything about digman haven't we definitely definitely now what is it about though i i when i see a a title called digman yeah i think to myself like i don't know what the hell this is about i'm just going to turn

it off but but thanks for that but it actually is about something it is about something it's something important um and it's an acronym yep it's an acronym we won't say what it stands for though oh digman is an acronym yeah but that's that's like a season five reveal oh really okay well we won't tell you what each letter stands for but we will tell you the m stands for modak okay well that's an acronym in itself yeah the kind of newsletter it's got each letter is in all in already existing acronyms yeah exactly oh my gosh we have a lot of ideas we're fucking weird so it's like i i b m i don't spoil it maybe yeah gosh wow this is incredible d is dare dare for yeah good kids off drugs yeah okay wow this is great dare i b m

oh god we're struggling to come up with a g gps and then moda and then moda yes um so acl you a sound great and then in uh nambla ncaa sorry guys it's nambla i got it in first forever now that's how it works and that's why it's first bitch don't animation zone so uh what what is it about because i obviously you guys are really funny guys and you have the skill to create something very uh incredible so what what happened at the end of all of these writing seshes where did you land first off that's hella nice of you to say that about us yeah we appreciate you're welcome um well oh man it always feels weird to

say anything normal i know we'll fuck around with it though feels more comfortable to say i could take a role in be the be the normal guy normal one try to say it as normally you can be the garf i'll be the garf you be the nerve yeah because because like just the way you talk is very weird so just like try to try to be as normal as possible say it normal and then okay yeah this is the show no no no more more normal more normal this is a show better yeah like i like you this is like 10 percent better now um all right it's about an archaeologist that's actually true that's that's true that's true okay it's set in a world where archaeologists are celebrities that's also true that's also true okay tenacious d that's also true the lead character you're sweating you are

sweating right now not but that's a i'm just sick um voiced by andy rep digman that's um yep you know why are you so nervous right now i've never talked to a mic before i'm afraid what shoot a lightning bolt at me or so oh no no it's just regular thing like unless there's some weird kind of freak accident where lightning strikes the studio oh yeah that'll never happen right hey scott what's going on i'd like to take you out later oh hey this is like a clump situation that's right was that from the lightning or i yeah i don't know or did you just taste i'm gonna get a lot of confidence heads from my personality oh okay okay so it's a it's uh uh uh andy plays rip digman an archaeologist in a world where archaeologists are famous and

then that's it and then there's like lots of jokes it's like the the one-line pitch for it was a shitty indiana jones ah indus shitty jones indus shitty anna mm-hmm so he's always going on adventures we got mitra jahari and tim robinson plays kind of cohorts and everyone's being very funny and we're just trying to write a bunch of jokes and yeah we're you know this is all true when you when you when you write a joke yes and you look at it on paper do you say to yourself ho ho well yeah okay oh yeah that's rather much i kind of say yeah you're always you're always a bit scandalized by your own work yep it must be so pleasurable though to look at a joke you wrote and go ho ho ho and and just know i did it i did it i wrote one joke here we go and also just to

know like uh and now i'm amused thanks to my muse yeah before i was not amused now i'm in a perpetual state of amusement yes and i can look at it anytime and and simply say ha ha wonderful yeah um but we're you know we did actually write it on spec that part is true really speculative we we were sitting on the set of brooklyn and i always say let's come up with some of them just make us laugh that'd be the kind of thing we'd want to see so doesn't then the creator of brooklyn nine nine dangor doesn't he own part of the show because he probably should but you were working on it on we didn't write it on set we just it was no you know and in our defense wait a lawyer just whispered in your ear yes yes what you're gonna go to Jurassic Park mr genaro

have a good time mr genaro we'll see oh okay so he left he left yeah he'll be fine yeah he'll be good he'll be good um so you guys were having a ball you wrote this thing and then comedy central said a masquerade ball a masquerade ball that's why i'm that's why i'm having a masquerade ball and we wrote it during it yes and then comedy central is like hey look we're the we're the the channel that has shows in the long tradition of south park the daily show we should buy this because we have that long tradition yes yeah basically that's an exact quote basically the thing we really liked about comedy central was that they wanted to make the show yeah and so we were like deal before they ever even

it you give you terms or anything oh yeah we had already said we'll pay for it yeah we're okay yeah we we shouldn't wait and maybe to see if they made an offer but we came out of pocket does it come after uh uh south park yeah it's premiering after an all-new south park okay pretty good time slot i don't mind it i love south park yeah cartman the rest cartman at butters yeah yeah you know yeah what'd you say butters butters yeah yeah yeah the uh the other the the stand tile sure randy the gang sure homer nope no oh well it must have been a homer at some point yeah there's probably a character named homer here let me look this up south park i'm gonna put that in quotes and then homer i'm gonna leave out of quotes

let's see uh big map for south park los angeles came up uh south park simpson's wiki fandom i don't know um i'm not seeing any character named homer on south park well they didn't episode about simpsons did it so you would have thought they would have popped up interesting if you like looked up every script oh okay and did a name search or just read him maybe his name well either way yeah but be careful if it's a baseball script oh why is that well they might just be referring to oh a bagger one of the characters yes a dinger yes a ding dong doodle right i guys speaking of baseball the crack of the bat yes am i right love it growing at your cricket jacks i'll take some here you are young man that'll be seven hundred

dollars okay oh you can't let me fuck you i guess i'll let you fuck me and scene man we are fucking on fire that's what happens anytime you go to a baseball game isn't it yeah by the way in that scene he was 45 yeah i just called him young man because that's my kink oh okay oh wait how old were you supposed to be 80 yeah interesting so he was younger but i don't want people to think we're fucking nasty yeah yeah yeah i made a simba romance but at least maybe more like you know january june yeah yeah yeah great actress madman right yes uh what else what else what else we got madman what else she's a bad x-man an evil x-man yes she was the white queen was she not Emma frost yes incredible uh telepathy powers uh and uh was on a boat in that movie was she not

i think speaking of i'm on a boat on a boat lonely island lonely island that was our song so so there you go all right uh how much are you making zids on lonely island songs over the years zidges yeah um it's not it's not insane you know it's like it's a steady stream but it's nothing where you're like yeah take a look at this check i mean we had a couple of good years there but nowadays nowadays uh like a Spotify check when those come rolling in well what are we talking i think we're talking like three figures three figures like about 350 bucks or so oh i wouldn't put a three at the front of it okay 110 yeah maybe 110 okay not bad but three ways oh shit yeah sometimes more because you know you got to pay the person who wrote the music yeah you got to pay

uh a con who was on that boat with you right uh or did he do a flat c i'm i don't remember the terms of our deal but a con was on just that sex not i'm on a boat oh so sorry who's on i'm on a boat that was t pain by the way have you heard his new record not yet just came out today oh well that's why i haven't heard it uh covers record uh doing songs like uh uh don't stop believing and uh war pigs by black Sabbath is this real yeah it's real yeah it's really good i'm definitely gonna listen to that yeah no auto tune it's really great uh yeah well t pain is very cool yeah he's a very cool guy um and uh uh speaking of hollywood facts by the way we were we were singing it early should we sing it again no yeah i feel like we should um let's do it one more time well it's hollywood

facts and we're going downtown going to inglewood now back to the facts and know your stars there's glitz and glamor and lots of bars get a drink at a club then go walk in front of the chinese theater hollywood facts take out your dick check out the facts it's hollywood facts bro i don't think that was more accurate than the previous time well there was a good 20 minutes we were talking about madmen in there do you feel like people enjoy how many times you play the song i think so okay still yeah okay that's good for those residuals yep that's true we get we get a little taste you get a one figure check for those residuals um but speaking of hollywood facts andy you are in the comedy bang bang book uh as part of it uh doing the hollywood facts board game right yeah and it's

quite a fun game i must say yeah play it's it is playable must see remember uh huh now must stay what now must stay remember yes um and uh uh it's uh it's about 10 pages of board game fun in the middle of the book and uh it's an honor to be a part of the book and uh and to be a part of the legacy of the the p-cast that's right and you're now in the library of congress uh as an author is that so oh i don't i didn't mean your body were you confused yes because i was like i feel like i'm here no no no you're now in the library like god your consciousness i mean my mind is elsewhere yes must be honest neil can tell you about that tell me about that neil his mind is elsewhere great thank you would you say this book is i mean it seems like it's a real page

turner well that it helps it helps i'm especially when you want to see what's on the next page yeah if you do want to see what's on the next page the first thing i would do is hope that it turns and then the second thing i would do is on a chord yeah of its own accord the second thing i would do is get one of those f's out there the fingies and use those to turn those pages they're not just reticulent anymore nope so there for two things so books can be referred to as a page turner what's the equivalent of that for a movie i guess a uh let's see how many frames are per second on film yeah and film is 24 on tv it's 29.33 is it not so i guess um that was a big point of tension in our negotiations yeah how many did you want i wanted to do the the sort of full uh

monty the full hobbit the 64 yeah that high frame rate high def yeah yeah we wanted hobbit frames yeah but they they came back at 29.3333 they were firm on that or yeah but they said we could meet one of the hobbits and oh really which one did you choose to meet or was it the one of their choosing it was it was uh one of their choosing just see whatever they oh yeah yeah back's end who who did end up being squarth squarth i mean as hobbits go not the best not the worst a little tall for hobbit yeah how tall was he five five yeah yeah i wanted to meet the grumpy old guy who always is like making like grumpy faces at them when they walk by oh yeah yeah yeah do they approve of Gandalf did they mention what he was up to why he couldn't come or passed he passed

on it oh wow yeah he passed on passed on oh oh he's dead oh and ate him yeah but his reps also passed they said it were he still with us he would have passed this would definitely specifically had written i hope that my agent still represents me after i'm dead and passes or accepts they said just so you know he wrote a lot about his distaste for you guys and what you represent in the world my agent mostly seems interested in repping my estate it's gonna all he asks about hey how are you feeling yeah yeah you get a chance to ask my doctor's number you get the best the stuff that's going about that every time i go to see him well that's cool so did you guys hang out or have lunch or was it you in the hobbit squirt squirt squirt yeah yeah no it was cool he sort of talked

about what it's like you know living in a hobbit hole what is it like do you mind passing that on or are those trade secrets no i'll tell you it's fun you you know you're it's kind of living in the earth you get to enjoy 11 z's down there 11 z's yeah that's sort of a meal they like second breakfast oh i thought i thought it was some sort of nap situation uh no but they you know 40 winks 11 z's that's the math of sleep 11 is everywhere that is everywhere especially for that guy from a beautiful mind yeah yes what if he what if that's all he ever saw and he was constantly like ah just like clawing at the air like get out of my way i'm trying to drive but they're all just like super accurate equations yeah sure but it's like come on man

i want to look at my child's face get out of here yeah i want to look at jennifer connelly right and her nude body no this math is in the way yeah he was watching of course uh her some of her nude scenes yes we're not talking about the character in the film a beautiful mind we're talking about the actual real man yes it was not married to jennifer connelly yes no this is character yes yeah so dickman this wednesday dickman um how many episodes one one this wednesday uh eight for the season hmm look we're excited about it we think it's good we think it's funny we just want to make a show that's funny yeah i know i'm getting sincere again here hmm but you know look on the plus side it doesn't sound like you are no that's

good yeah yeah but the words are it's exactly what we were hoping for look sometimes people come on this show i listen i'm a huge fan of this show oh thank you very much they're promoting something and we all know hey that person's so funny and comedy bang bang and they're promoting something you go that's maybe just something they got cast in maybe you watch you go it's not really funny how they're funny you know yeah and this is a thing i don't know i think the listeners will like it which it's funny how we are funny i think i think anyone who thinks this show is funny would think this show is funny wait yes that's what i'm getting at i think but when i say this the first time is comedy bang bang when i say this the second time is digman yes yes i meant just both comedy bang bang

oh okay you think this show is funny yeah that's just stating facts yeah that's that's what i was getting at okay good thank you so much that's so nice yes we made this tv show but if you're listening to comedy bang bang you gotta think comedy bang bang is funny i appreciate that yeah nice words yeah and then also our show is going to come out yeah yeah well that i mean look unless something weird happens in the next two days this is gonna come out exactly you know but like maybe something will come out about you andy that like suddenly they go like right i don't know whether we're comfortable putting out a show yeah like turned out he was like a huge piece of shit yeah yeah or extinction level event could happen could happen yeah but i would say that

yelling just because some if something weird happens the show might still come out that's true i mean i i wonder if we're because two days is i mean if you if you watch the last of us it takes a good what three days for society to totally collapse yeah i think if society collapses today tv shows will still be on by wednesday you think they'll keep running them yeah probably and then then you'll get those we love them the color bars and then just static uh huh so but uh but i think digman will come on right before the the color bars and static i don't think yeah yeah incredible well digman out this wednesday the last show to ever air if there's an extinction level the last tv show to ever air you know there's gonna be yeah there probably will be this week

all right well we need to take a break when we come back we have a couple of very special guests and uh we're gonna have more with andy sandberg more neil cambell we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this come on we're back andy sandberg currently signing the table is here uh x snl you excited about the snl uh 50th anniversary it must be coming out have they reached out to you about dates for it or anything like that nope okay neil cambell also here yeah and digman is the what their twisted minds have come up with uh you remember the twisted mind of danie de vito he would uh make such movies as throw mama from the train and the war of the roses duplex sure this

is a lot like that but from these two twisted minds digman is on comedy central this wednesday after an all new south park anything to add about it um lots of people from comedy big bang guest voices on it that's true paul rust um mike mitchell hmm let's see paul rust comedy bang bang superstar yes mike mitchell been on been on it twice if they've ever been on we have to mention lauren lapkiss is on a couple episodes that's a big one all right has meadows ever done it tim meadows yeah he did the tv show and he's hey look he's in poker face great episode of poker face oh yeah it's it's on my watch list yeah so you know if you like poker face one of the actors is in digman hello speaking

of actors ricka shankar whoa from the between two ferns movie yes there's a writer on the show whoa incredible incredible who else wrote on this show rachel collie tim cal pass wait that's a dog right uh collie yes uh but this is spelled differently oh good k a l y but she is a dog though no no no she's she's a wonderful human being she's a human being yeah pure human dna top what about dino dna that's what my lawyer's been talking about that a lot lately but i don't know what he's getting at um tim calpakis another writer hunter toro idly altman no one to forget my oh yes i'm lialt wonderful group of people uh it comes out this wednesday we need to get to our next guest yes uh she is uh a nun i don't know we've ever spoken

to a nun before this is exciting uh please welcome to the show sister margaret hi hi hi so good to be here i'm sister margaret of the church of the horrid life of jesus christ oh the horrid life hard life i don't know that i know that one welcome this is uh andy this is neil hi hi hello sister hello why did you say it that way i thought i don't know here's us to address a nun i thought that was just yeah is this like doctor or or you can call me sister but the way he said it was a little that's just i'm not not creepy i yeah i'm bad at talking and i'm bad sorry it would do you accept sis oh i take sis you can say sis if he says this i feel like i didn't like it see when he's when he said sis yeah i didn't like that what's up sis that's okay i guess that's our okay that's

in the middle that's it i'm between andy and neil yeah you're right in the middle andy one of the most regular people at show business neil one of the most awkward weirdos thank you i'm in the middle yes you're in the middle for sure hmm welcome to the show so good to to have you in the middle we're in the middle of the show oh you know i'm listening i have you oh always nice to meet a fan i had my ear to the to the floor i was listening through the floor oh i meant in the middle of the run of the show so we're doing 800 more episodes really and then calling it quits yep calling it quits at 1600 perfect sat hey it's a great address great address great sat score and probably on disilleging avenue is what i mean yeah but i heard of a murder there yeah there was a that's an

address that changes all the rules as i recall yes oh my god are you like it i was just gonna say it's also the probably the best Atari gaming system all right let me move yeah all right good now let's talk more about that about the gaming do you like Atari or i love it you like it they uh asteroids space invaders hmm yes yeah it's a fantasy land yeah pacman different company anyways anyway hey hi uh good to see you yeah welcome to the show we've never met i believe what i missed you oh okay yeah we've missed each other our entire lives and we finally caught up with each other exactly yes um yeah i'm happy to be here i appreciate you having me on yeah i'm so close to st patrick's day that's right it was just this last friday was it

it was yeah i don't really celebrate that much though you you are irish i i'm i'm sensing an irish lilt to your voice yes i am i'm from a little town outside of dumbland called um called bailey's Irish cream bailey's oh okay i think there's a drink named after that yes yeah the town just i had some this morning did you oh yeah a whole bottle yeah yeah just to start my day sounds nice did you mention anyone for not wearing green um i did i pinched all my sisters pinchy pinch pinch oh right well because you all have to wear the nun's habits yeah you should have special green ones for st patrick's day we dye our hair underneath the habit oh the pubies you mean or oh oh i see oh the what are you talking about the pubies i'm sorry i i was

sorry i when i hear under the habit i know i meant uh my hair my normal hair normal hair and i dye the toilet do you consider pubies to be abnormal hair why are you bringing up pubies right when i get on now i can talk about pubies sorry is that what color are your pubes they're uh well uh they're they're not gray yet oh i bet they're fiery red pubies are all right because they're natural right even jesus had pubies even jesus had pubies some people like me laser them off oh really wow is that a painful process oh i've never done it to myself but oh meaning you do it for other people yeah well against the will you just mined like a star words laser yeah yeah

that's how they do it they just shoot you in your crotch yeah that's the gun grita was holding oh you see that's why it was all under the table they were trying to shoot the laser fumes off like Han Solo killed him yeah oh interesting god now that makes me think of Han Solo in a different light a little more negatively i didn't want to come on here to talk about pubic hair i beg your pardon what did you come on to talk about it's great to see you it's so great to see you thank you for coming um i came to talk about how some of my sisters have been acting like bad sisters oh no i know you know those movies like bad teacher and bad santa this is like bad nuns right yeah or that oh wait i gotta mail i gotta mail that to myself hold on was that a good

one mm oh this is a good idea this has legs well yeah so some of my sisters have been acting out of our chair oh no okay that's uh terrible to hear so you came on to a talk show to talk to to what blow up their spot or to give a warning i want to warn all the people that the lord is watching always okay the lord knows when you've been good or bad oh like santa in that regard he is like santa what's the difference between jesus and santa they both have beards they both know when you've been good or bad they both died but they were turned to tree oh they santa died santa died what the ghost i didn't know that that makes sense now yet rude off i get it now he is an elf so yeah he could have just sailed off to the who's an elf santa a jolly old elf oh that's right he

is a that's all that's right biggest elf that there is yeah he's taller than all those other elves isn't that weird like a little earth he's like an elf kaiju yeah he is he's an elf kaiju yeah huh interesting huh very interesting very interesting so interesting yeah so wait how have your sisters been acting poorly so every night before we go to bed we play a game of monopoly and one of my sisters i heard that's a long game before you go to bed by the way like the game goes until someone's bankrupt it can be ours we play so many games every night before we go to sleep so we're playing our nightly game of monopoly when i heard the lord of my voice in my head say hey sister margaret look over at your sister look over at

sister mary and i looked and sister mary was taking a one dollar bill from the monopoly bank what can you believe it cheating cheating yeah so what did i do i came up to her after rose i said hey sister mary did you take any money from the bank of the monopoly she says no no i didn't i said i saw you because the lord told me and she says okay okay i did i did i took it i took it and i said i said the lord always watches your life isn't hard enough for you to be doing something like this jesus had the hardest life of all of us and he never took a one dollar bill from the monopoly do they have monopoly back then jesus era monopoly yeah i think they had like monopoly

zero bc special edition yeah yeah where it was like uh the manger is where you stay and you'd pay rent to the shepherds yep with monopoly money with monopoly money yeah it sounds like that behavior is bad agreed it doesn't sound good i mean i it was bad she was being a bad sister what did she do with that one dollar in the game she put it in her bucket did she win did she just put it in her pocket because i would understand if it was to feed the hunger you know you're stealing from a big bank sure right feed the poor like the church of the earth like the silicon valley bank like there's no money to pay for the power people that's when there was a run on the bank that's everyone was like oh no there's so many poor people we got to get all of our money

out of the bank that's your robin hood yeah that's what they're doing it's robin hood also i would understand if she was like taking the money out and using it in the game to pay for things she just put it up and put in her pocket i said pull out all the money from your pockets and she pulled out three dollar bills no what was she gonna do with these i don't know but you they have no monetary value outside of the game she was stealing the money i said you've been a bad sister in the lord knows wow this is this is pretty incredible i said that i mean that's the understatement of the years god that is mind blowing do you like it do you like it do you like hearing about the bad sisters are there any more so many more another one of my sisters we were sitting down for our

nightly game of hide-and-seek every night you play monopoly and hide-and-seek that's right how would you get to bed fire five fire five four or five oh god wow and and you sit down to play these games at what time we sit down to play our nightly game of hide-and-seek so this is about oh 10 p.m 10 p.m okay so and i i was searching for everybody in their hiding place i was looking all over you're searching for them in their hiding places normally all the nuns the nuns hide in their specific hiding places okay this is not a fun game and now i go oh i found you there oh i found you there sister mary behind the air purifier oh i found you sister must be a big purifier it's a massive air fire it's as big as your one over there that's really small that's a big one well i mean

you're very tiny though you always make women so small on this podcast i don't i don't think so but you are just a tiny woman how tall are they they're uh they're gigantic i mean these these guys are like six foot five something like that i don't want to take part in that how tall are you uh i'm just normal size six three oh on a good day sure sure i bet you're i bet you're six one you think i'm six one yeah get the tape measure okay everybody get on the floor maybe five three never mind anyway five three all right anyway so what happened with this uh the what happened in the hide and seek so dan one of the rules in the hide and seek game is that nobody can hide in the basement why is that a rule what's in the because the parish is too big if everybody was

hiding in the basement we never find them it's typical yes okay so it's close to hell yeah a little closer to hell yeah our base our basements sins because they're closer to hell you'd have to assume so what about what about like digging a well is that a sin it rhymes with hell geez man i've never thought about this the ring is kind of that's not such a good spot wow when you go into parking structure down to floor like yeah yeah b one p two like i think that you're right next to hell at that point oh my god i've never thought about that you're on p four p five forget it yeah dancing with the devil that's why you never find a spot and then when you do it takes forever to get back up to whatever the building is wow incredible and you forget what

floor you were on right because it's hell right so so there's a saying incredible like in a sarcastic way huh you keep saying fantastic and incredible so now you are you're in the middle of your hide and seek game the basement is off limits off limits oh and i go down there why'd you go down there because i heard a voice in my in my head that said from the lord it's me the lord go down to the flower go down to the basement oh i bet you're gonna find a sister there and i go down and i found sister stephanie what was she doing hiding in the basement she was hiding in the car behind a car what's a car doing in the basement it's a parking structure oh oh this is interesting right this is for all the parishioners to park in usually i'm getting the visual now

do they validate no oh no is it an irish car irish make it is an irish car it's a yeah yard it's a pier it's a pier oh you think it'd be a Swedish car that's it and it's an irish one they take it so so you found which sister was this sister stephanie sister sister step sister sister stephanie sister let's say this five times sister stephanie sister stephanie sister stephanie sister stephanie's wait oh from cats mr the magical mr mr mr mr mr presto what's your guys's warm up before you go on stage what do you say to yourself how do you get your mouth going yeah you go the comedian the comedian a podcast whether the weather be hot whether the weather be cold we'll be together whatever the weather whether we like it

or bold so i found her in the basement wow so she she was cheating she was cheating and i turned to her and i said why are you hiding in the basement sister stephanie so you were turned away from her i was and then you had to turn to her interesting turned her i said why are you hiding in the basement sister stephanie she says i i i didn't i'm not i'm not i was just doing me laundry near the cars i was like there's no there's no laundry down here it's a parking lot she says okay i was lying i am hiding down here i said the lord sees it all he told me that you're down here i know you've had a horrible life but you've never had a horrible life this day is christ right right yeah jesus christ never had to hide in the basement and i says he was right up there on

that cross for everyone to see nails and all yep especially the nails yes so i said dear you've been a bad sister you've been a bad sister you've been as bad as bono's daughter on bad sisters oh that oh that's right bad sisters was a show we've talked about it on this show have you yeah we're sharing uh hargan yeah yeah yeah sharing hargan hargan hargan yes yes we talked about yeah exactly wow this is terrible it's so hard it's so hard what the thing that's happening with the sisters is terrible that's not bad sisters not the show not the show bad stuff that happened that jesus not so great and not me being on the podcast no no i would rank it in terms of terribleness jesus what happened to jesus yeah jesus what's happening with your sisters right

you being on the podcast and then the show bad sisters uh bad sisters at the bottom at the at in terms of least terrible okay most terrible the least terrible jesus what happened to jesus we can all ask you since you're a woman of god and you might know the answer to this i heard a rumor that jesus's last words were after this switch bc to ad and i ain't talking andrew this mucs um that's actually true yeah wow that's exactly what he said okay and you found this out through the ancient texts or the bible gets updated so when i look at my bible i have little oh no there's a little new passage that he wrote oh how does it get updated like every morning a new edition comes out or every morning you turn the page and there's a new little note almost like you

know in a college the bible boy throws it on your stoop sometimes god will highlight something or sometimes he'll write something in the corner it's like that they'll say oh actually i said this oh i'm interested and so the last part of it sorry you know the last yes go on and dot dot dot i ain't talking to andrew dismukes and he means he says he wants to go from bc to ad right but he doesn't mean he ain't talking he's not talking to some of the initials ad answers yeah he's talking ana domini yes exactly and that's just the rumor that i had heard yeah right but he was i would have never thought of that he was jesus so he knew who andrew dismukes was going to be exactly and it could have been a different andrew dismukes oh there could have been a different one back then

but you know names back then were all like jesus of nazareth andrew dismukes isn't so far that's true when you think i mean how far away is jesus of nazareth andrew dismukes jesus of nazareth andrew dismukes jandrew of nazareth jandu of dismukes jandrew dismukes just so everyone knows that something's got did in post that didn't happen we use morphing technology morphing technology to morph words together so you found two sisters who were bad that must be the end of it no there's so many marv bad sisters i know you care so much i know you're aching to hear about marv them look i gotta admit these don't sound like the worst i mean first of all you shouldn't be playing all these games for seven hours before you go to bed well we had mar games to play

what else what else happened then we started our nightly game of truth or dare truth or dare i don't know that the sisters should be playing truth or dare why i mean you first of all the truth you haven't done anything we've done plenty of stuff that's bad really yeah what have you done that's bad one time i went into the bathroom and i upper decked a toilet meaning you shit into the actual that is bad yeah why would you do something like that i thought it was gonna be so funny that's way worse than the monopoly money thing i don't think so okay one night another time i put shit in a wallet and i put it out on the on the road and i watched a bunch of people pick it up the wallet and i put it in their purse and walk away wait so there a lot of people put it in their

person walked away and then i had to keep finding new wallets and new pieces of shit keep watching them take it where'd you find these pieces you were just doing them right oh yeah i was making them i've i've done i've i've had a meal and then i made shit yeah yeah you you had one time and then you made and i made shit yeah i've made shit i got one time so this this prank doesn't sound doesn't sound like it has a good payoff because they're just merely putting the wallet into their person's walking away but then you have to imagine when they get home and they take out their purse they put it down in the counter they go to get their wallet what's all this what's well there's i guess but you like you're not seeing it were you disappointed that no one like picked up the

wallet opened it up to see what was inside and then found shit in it in front of you now that would have been better now did i think of it but i had to imagine them coming home with it all the time interesting well so what happened with this third bed sister so okay we're playing a game of truth or dare oh it says truth or dare to my friend my sister sister sister sara oh it says sara truth or dare she says truth oh it says what's your biggest pet peeve she goes my biggest pet peeve isn't people to mouth open hmm that's bad that's pretty bad all right then i heard the lord of me ergo she's lying she's lying i tell you she's fucking lying she's she's the lord the lord said that

that's what he sounds like in your head you're fucking lying yeah i says to her after the game i says just tell me something sara she's really a pet peeve when people just cheer with your mouth open because the lawyer told me it's a lie he says you're a fucking lawyer you fucking bitch she says okay i guess i wasn't i was lying actually my biggest pet peeve isn't people eat something out of the fridge is mine she's lying that's a lie you're not supposed to lie that's one of the 10 big ones i said the lord saw it and you've been a bounce sister right wow and then you put your shit in someone else's wall and yeah well they're not and then what i did was actually put a little bit of shit in her pillowcase oh so you got you got these sisters back by shitting in their pillow

cases yeah put a little bit of shit okay these are yeah i don't know there's a punishment for her she was being bad she was being a bad sister are you in charge yes i'm the head i'm the captain you are the captain captain no wait so this is like a captain philip situation where suddenly you're the captain first mate okay what why do you make that face what if i i just i don't think that these are really bad things that they did in fact these are very i think i think when you came up to to sister sarah she may have just said like upon reflection now that i think about it i actually hate it when people steal stuff out of the fridge more like i don't know that it was a lie it was a lie she lied did you hear the lord did you hear what he said she's a fucking bitch i don't know

the lord is talking to you oh i just did what the lord told me to do i think that you i have have you ever been evaluated by a therapist or a psychologist or i've been surprised you've been what surprised they're prized i've been surprised oh you've been to a priest okay i've done the confession that's not i mean it's not exactly it's the same i don't know that a priest is able to diagnose issues such as schizophrenia do you go to a therapist because you need one big time you just met me i think any man who has a podcast needs to go to therapy this is not a substitute talking in a microphone and trying to work through your own stuff online what everything that we worked out in the first segment with these two guys like we were through some major

shit about madmen very emotional what did you guys learn about yourself in the first segment anything my height that's true you're taller than you thought yeah way taller yeah i learned that i have been on this a lot of times yeah see this is therapy for guys this is not therapy podcast this therapy has anyone ever cried on here besides you um i don't know i it's not that kind of show really you know we're we're not getting too deep this is the deepest in fact i think we've ever gone with you with me yeah yeah but i have that effect yeah i go deep yeah why did you want to even become a nun i like the uniform you like to what uniform oh you like a uniform oh oh yeah i mean you look sexy in it what the fuck you got that big slit up the side this is inappropriate

it's actually harrison me i mean it's very tight is what i'm trying to say well i get mine extra tight why see it's like you want this effect on people i get mine extra tight and i get a little slit right down the back right down the back starting mid-back i get the slit starting mid-back all the way down all the way down yeah it's very when i bend over you see everything yeah please don't bend over by the way i want to see nothing why you seemed like you wanted to see a second i'll see it there it is there it is wow wow that's everything that's 100% of it wow so anyway the show is digmin uh it's gonna be on comedy central i don't know i don't know sister margaret uh i had to look down on my sheet sorry um i i just this doesn't sound bad it sounds like

you are having delusions finally we were playing our finally our nightly game of seven minutes in heaven oh man you guys have a stacked game schedule they might have gotten fooled by the name that might be the yeah and usually what happens is we all take turns for seven minutes going in the closet alone making out with the lord and but this time i realized one of my sisters was taking a little bit too long night off it's going on in there and then i heard the lord of my head say that fucking slut that fucking slut in there she's not making out with me she's making out with somebody else oh no and i opened the door and i said who you making out with in here and my friend

sister joy she said i was i was envisioning making out with sister mary no wow okay well so what i did was i took her into the bathroom okay i stuffed her head in the toilet bowl full of shit full of shit already i'm pretty shitted i was praying it was clean so you would you would shit in the toilet before the game started i did not protect and i lowered i did and i pressed the flush but didn't i watched her hair go round and round i said don't you dare lie to me or the lord again you've been a bad sister well she didn't lie to you she told you the truth she fucking lied no she you asked her about it and she told you the truth about it she was lying in there she shouldn't have been making out with the lord like we all do you can't by the way you can't make a sin

two sins okay it's either the sin of making out with someone wrong it can't be that and a lie it was all a lie because every sin is a lie technically every sin's a lie i don't know look look this is not i i don't know sister margaret you you sound like you're a lunatic i'm sorry to say it's not very nice just coming from a fucking psychopath i hate to say this on the show uh we've had a lot of great guests on the show a lot of people i love and people come here and they talk about interesting things but uh uh every once in a while a real fucking weirdo comes on and i i call balls and strikes here and you are one of those weirdos does that mean you'll have me back yeah sure when do you want to come back

why don't they come back for angto too all right yeah sure we'll see you next week all right we need to take a break when we come back we have another special guest that's right dirty dog is gonna be here we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we're back uh andy sandberg uh is here of digman coming out this wednesday on comedy central uh right after uh south park and we also have uh sister margaret is here as well from the the what was it the horrid life of jesus christ is a character the horrid life of jesus rois gosh uh neil camberl had to go but uh we have uh our next guest is ready to go here and uh he's never been on the show before welcome him uh this is dirty dog hey it's me dirty dog bark bark

hey bark bark bark what is what is up indeed hey let's first describe my appearance yeah let's do it six foot three yep so that's a normal height i'm a doberman you are a doberman of course yeah standing on my back legs that's right yeah very tall for visible abs uh-huh uh-huh six bike collar kind of six-packy looking yeah six back yeah bark bark bark of course yeah what'd you say about the collar spike spike collar spikes collar yeah also you're wearing a t-shirt like a doggie t-shirt what's it say on that because i i'm only seeing your front what to say on the back where people can usually see it you're asking what it says on the back or on the front well on the back because uh doggie doggie t-shirts have things written on the back oh yeah because usually

they're not on their hind legs just bad to the bone bark bark with let me guess picture of a bone picture of a bone yeah and an arrow and an arrow from the word bone to the bone just in case you don't get it oh god i thought you meant like an arrow that an archer would shoot this ain't no william tale situation bark bark okay good stuff hey this is andy hey andy bark bark how's it going it's good um yeah yeah and this is i recognize a little dirty dog bark bark i guess you're a dirty dog candy uh this is sister margaret hey sister margaret hi hi hi bark mark i like your church i like your vibe thanks do you like my jean shorts mark mark you do they're so charged yeah i get cut a little hole for my tails together back would you cut the hole or do you buy them like this cut

it out myself so these are human shorts that you're cutting a whole these are Levi's 5 11 jeans cut off 5 11 5 11's i i know about the 501 vintage oh they're skinny oh five ones are the skinny ones yeah well uh it's great to great to have you on the show what uh tell us about yourself what hey i'm a dirty dog i like getting it on sure i like every juice there is every juice so orange juice orange juice but also the nasty juices uh okay all right i see what you're saying but you do like orange juice and i like orange juice uh apple juice yep and then the nasty juice nasty juice is well pomegranate juice right juice yeah plum juice do they make plum juice hey they do where i'm from bark bark where is that my balls dick what there's my plum juice bark bark

you're from your from someone else's i was made out of someone else's plum juice we're all from someone's balls when you think about it when you think about it yeah even sisters like you yeah that's true uh and uh what brings you on the show today hey i'm here for one nasty little reason and uh what do you think about uh dirty dogs sorry big dog is a different guest we've had dirty dog what do you think about dirty dogs so well i'm i'm kind of reserving judgment until we hear the one nasty reason yeah oh all right i like this guy he's full of dirty dog i can tell hey i am not no all right my one little nasty reason that i'm here i gotta remind kids you gotta do your homework oh okay kids don't do their homework it's not so bad anyway thank you uh

yeah i mean i was expecting something different but i can't argue with it yeah i mean kids should do their homework i mean especially if they want to get good grades right it depends on the assignment i mean speaking as a former student yeah yeah although can you really pick and choose which homework to do or should you just do it all i mean it depends what you what you want to get out of the experience of school right sure i guess there's sometimes when you could say like you know what i i'm not going to be a chemist exactly you know why do i why do i need an a on this although getting into a good college although what with student loans now being what they are i don't know that i would maybe better off just going to trade school yeah exactly i would agree with all

that i would just add bark bark okay bark bark what do you think sister margaret well i mean about college about oh well about homework in general i think homework is a good thing if you're a nerd oh wow okay i didn't realize you were so cool i mean you are very sexy in that that slit all the way up to your the nape of your neck did you see i cut your slit in in the top of my my head by by the way i think you cut into your actual head because you're bleeding i'm bleeding yeah guys like blood though don't you god likes it hey it's one of the juices one of the nasty juices yeah especially a certain week per month am i right are you talking about periods i guess no are you jealous that we get him when you don't never stop dirty dog i'll say that

yeah from what chowing down bower bower bower bower bower all right uh i still haven't decided if i like okay anyway we got to your home we were on your homework hey take it from dirty dog bower bower so we've just transitioned into bower bower bower bower i have multiple things i say yeah oh okay this is yeah two of multiple two of mark mark bower bower yeah totally different catchphrase yeah depends on the situation okay have you listened back you'll understand why i sometimes say one of the other we'll be able to decode this exactly yeah mark mark anyway yeah kids you gotta do your homework don't say i ate it

bark bark oh wait a minute i see what's happening here you're tired of being blamed for eating homework yeah kids you gotta do the homework don't say dirty dog ate it bark bark so wait you don't care about the kids at all i don't care about kids how dare you bark just one bark this is a third thing and then a bower okay so bark bark bower bower and bark bower these are your three things you say thus far i haven't cracked the code yet i'm quite sure so you know you're you're all you're self-interested in not being blamed for eating the homework sure that's one way of looking at it but another way of looking at it in black and white mind you can't see color sure sure oh because you're done i'm a dog bark yep is that kids you do their homework they want to grow up

get a good job wait wait wait kids will grow up regardless of if they do their homework right i mean i mean sure there's a small percentage of kids who don't grow up i don't know why we're focusing on that but it's not but uh but kids will grow up regardless but they should they should grow up and do their homework so they yeah i guess i meant so they grow up dot dot dot and get a good job and get to get a good job learn how to do the taxes yeah with turbo tax though you can just pretty much pay someone to do turbo that snail do you like snails i like the animated movie turbo but a snail that races have you ever eaten a snail yep bark bark like in a french restaurant

or it's gotta go down my throat and what about not in a restaurant just like off the sidewalk yep and what's the difference um the butter yeah that's pretty much yeah that's happened right before i got here at a french restaurant or oh okay so a butterless street snail butterless street snail bark bark and did you like that as much or just no no so you like it better with the butter better with butter hey hey i just got one thing hey hey that'd make a nice t-shirt better with butter it'd be better with butter that's true but i gotta point out hey hey isn't that was something you say yes do you point out everything you're gonna say really say a new sentence that it must happen all the time because it doesn't say sure so that's something they had

it previously said dirty dog do you have owners hey only one who owns a dirty dog it's dirty dog bark bark okay okay so you you're a street dog street dog yeah so would you like to have a forever home no what are you talking about that'd be crazy bark bark i just i we're looking for a third dog and i uh you know i mean we have room here at the house doesn't matter that i can talk and i walk on my hind legs this is creepy that you'd want to own him i'd like for you to be my property no way dd ain't taking that deal oh you call yourself d d okay yeah all right uh so just dare devil by the way it was in contact murlock is dd ain't taking that deal also a cat's phrase or that just happened conversationally i have t-shirts that have that

printed on it yeah it felt like yeah yeah do you ever call yourself double d yes sometimes when i'm in heat i'll say that when you're in heat you call yourself double d yeah like double d hmm interesting bark bark yeah so uh i mean uh what do you do for a living do you do i mean or just for kids to do their homework go around to schools to get paid for this yeah do assemblies and stuff at different schools come out oh do you have a property or homework do you mind here if we hear some of your program like you must fill an hour right or a 45 minute lunch class or something oh it's long it's like three hours yeah okay let's hear a tiny sliver of it bark bark okay a little bit a little bit more than that more than that yeah bark bark

hey this dirty dog bark bark mm-hmm kids you gotta do your homework don't say i ate it okay yeah did you do new stuff you ever do like a call-and-response like can i get a bark bark if if uh you did your homework today no but i'll i'll add that in i'll add a fourth hour yeah although i should say kids usually don't do homework on the day they're in school they usually do it the night after well i did maybe just i'll ask the question who did their homework last last night yeah change it to last yeah yeah that was important and sometimes i do it i'll act out so i bring a kid up i go okay let's say you're getting okay let's say let's pretend andy is a kid all right all right

here all right hey let's picture this you're getting home from school wait you didn't ask him to come up on stage oh i'm sorry hey you look like a little boy come up on stage is that what you usually say you look like a little boy half the time and half the time little girl oh okay am i up on stage now now you're up on stage okay hey don't be scared a dirty dog bark bark okay let me guess when you get home from school you don't feel like doing your homework that's true you want to play video games yes you want to ride your bike kind of you want to call your friends and talk about all the latest products um okay sure you want to draw a picture a dirty dog

i don't know about that one those are all fun things but you gotta do the homework first bark bark okay and then what am i supposed to do what does a kid usually do with this situation i mean like andy's kind of lost here as they usually break down into here's hug me thank me really yeah were you feeling that at all i mean um maybe it's been a minute since you've been entirely to put me sometimes okay yeah i was just kind of like waiting for dirty dog to go postal honestly right right oh i sometimes have to scare them straight if they're saying they won't do their homework oh yeah why don't we try that why don't we try to taste that you know what dirty dog i don't want to do my homework you little fucking oh jeez i like this part this perfect sense

you motherfucking little bark bark bastard oh man you do this in front of the school yeah the teachers are cool with it very oh is this when they start crying yeah sometimes well what about a real hard case like andy he's not crying right guess what bark bark my bark is not worse than my bite and i'm gonna give you one of my signature bites if you don't do your homework you're gonna bite me i'll bite you where where are you gonna bite i'll bite you look i don't like to use this kind of language but there's no other you just said word just said i'll bite you on your fucking ass you don't like to use i hate using that language why are you religious i'm religious to the core but i'll use it in this

case because just not which religion by the way i'm several oh so Scientology mostly Scientology yeah so it depends you know yeah i could i could see the feintons coming off of you oh this took a turn so wait a minute so are these talks that you're giving to kids is this just Scientology you're trying to turn them into Scientology well yeah i do a sort of personality test by the end wow well dirty dog this is incredible bark bark bark bark okay well we got it what that was a very rare bark bower i think that means like dirty dogs happy i think his lipstick came out oh my gosh all right well dirty dog liquid it surprised you to learn that we are running out of time i can't tell time but no you can't tell time i didn't know that about

dogs no i can't tell time at all so that i don't accidentally infringe upon anyone else's thing oh i see i understand yes yes we don't want to do that uh we are running out of time though we just have time for one final feature on the show that is of course a little something called plugs all right that was great uh that was it's the plugs by chassis d thanks to chassis d if you have a plug theme send it to cbbworld.com slash plugs all right what do we plug in obviously digman is out on this wednesday comedy central right after a new south park is that right yeah that's right dirty dog you know this oh sorry dirty dog consulted on the show oh this makes sense now yeah i was the life model for dogs oh for the animators you're like would a dog watch the show yes dogs would love

this show you got oh so when you say life model this was you were watching the show and saying yes this applies to dogs this is true to dogs this is true to dogs yeah okay yeah great um and what's the first episode called pilot pilot is that legally mandated that you have to call the first one pilot it seems weird it seems like they now with technology you should be able to go back and just call it whatever you want right yeah that's interesting we never we didn't really think about it we just it was like you know my dad was circumcised you know yeah that's true yeah and he's one of the greats at that uh agreed i mean it was very it was like down to the nub though uh huh it was uh it was thorough it was a little too much off the top because you know what i mean

hey that's my dad dude great movie you and adam sandler right uh that's my dad dude yeah dude where's my dad dude where's my dad um anything else you want to plug obviously that you're in the comedy bang bang book andy uh hollywood facts board game yeah um no what else no i mean i don't know no prods on the horizon nothing to speak of really just just excited about the the cartoon yeah i mean it takes a lot of work to put together something like this yeah so yeah eight uh eight episodes is the results and uh they'll be weekly i assume or do you like put one up and then beg them to put another one out it should be weekly but dirty dogs sometimes that's too big please never again next um all right great uh sister margaret what do you want to plug i'd like to plug being a good sister

being faithful to the lord and i'm shitting in people's shoes in the closet so when they put their shoes under shit in the shoes don't know that that needs a plug um and also i've been listening to a couple of podcasts on the cbb presents oh really which ones have you uh been listened to i've been listening to this book changed my life and i've also been listening to hey randy okay yeah those are two great shows and i've been following online a really good social media uh oh who's this this is a girl named lillie salomon at l i l y l l l l l l all right great i want to plug the comedy bang bang book we've talked about it if you want to order it pre-order it you can go to cbbworld.com slash book and or get it from anywhere you get books and coming out in a month

very exciting i have a copy right here and we were flipping through it a little bit earlier it's very good i think and while you're over there at cbb world you can check out shows like hey randy and this book changed my life and uh who me with the batman and uh also we have scott hasn't seen i think we have a great episode coming up this friday uh where we watch uh uh an interest or no next friday i believe where we watch an interesting show with an interesting person um all right well uh why don't we close up the old plug bag king so we take our key and make it right we turn it to the right oh no that unlocked it it's time to open the plug oh my god

it's t to rock or rock to rock or rock to rock or rock bro bro bro go do bro go do bro go do yes yes yes yes doctor skeleton celebrity it's t to rock or rock to rock or rock to rock or rock look at my butt yeah that was it's tricky to cut off the plug toilet oh that's uh germane to your interests toilets it's tricky yeah it's tricky to upper neck of toilet yeah it's tricky to cut off the plug toilet by john crane thank you so much to john crane that was really good i enjoyed that

again if you have any closing up the plug bag themes go to cbbworld.com slash plugs and guys i want to thank you so much andy so great to see you i'll see you in another hundred probably at least come on you got to be in the nines the 900s i wouldn't miss them for the world this is tough because you're you broke off another hundo you're at 801 yeah i mean i'll probably be in this hundo again you probably will i hope so i hope you have a reason to come back sister margaret always great to see you see you next week see you next week for 802 yeah we'll see you uh and dirty dog bark bark hey wonderful oh dirty dog is happy all right and i'm happy too we'll see you next time thanks bye