Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Anna Konkle, Mitra Jouhari, Christine Bullen

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

Actor/writer/director Anna Konkle joins Scott to talk about the new season of The Afterparty, the future of PEN15, and body swap superheroes. Then, interior decorator Leila stops by to help Scott with his space. Plus, widow Myrtle McGee returns in search of a new husband who is a comedian.  NOTE: This was recorded before the SAG-AFTRA strike began on July 13. 

["Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang You may be Tom Cruisin for a bruise, but I'm catharsis a to Jones and for some bones and welcome to comedy bang bang. Oh, yeah, very sexy start to the show. Thank you to Jack B. Nitt, Jack B. Nimble. Jack B. Oh, I wonder if it's the famous Jack B. Nimble. Well, that would be quite a thrill to have him writing in pitching catchphrase emissions. Unfortunately, I don't believe that one's going to stick, but thank you, Jack. Welcome to the show, Comedy Bang Bang for another week. This is of course Humanities and the Animal Kingdoms podcast. Don't want to leave them out. Hope all of our friends in the Animal Kingdom are enjoying the show. And we have a great one coming up a little later.

We have an interior decorator. And we also have a returning guest coming up a little later. We have an interior decorator and we also have a returning guest. That is very exciting. So an interior decorator and someone who was a guest and is back on the show. Okay. Good show. Good show. But before we get to them, we have a returning guest as well, a second returning guest, but in the pole position in A block, she is a writer and actor director. She is in such shows as Big Mouth and also the movie The Drop.

She made her claim to fame with her television show penis, which was on Hulu. And she has a new television show she's in called the After Party season two on Apple TV. Please welcome back to the show and a conkel. Hello. Hello. That was such a nice introduction. Was it? Thank you so much. I've been working on my introductions.

They're excellent. I memorized that in the shower. Does that surprise you? Yeah, it does actually. What did you have paper a phone? Do you have like a phone stand? Talk right into this thing. Oh, sorry.

I'll move it over here so you can look at me. Look at you. Yeah. I say paper a phone? Do you have like a phone stand? Talk right into this thing. Oh, sorry. I'll move it over here so you can look at me. Thank you. I say paper a phone stand, what does that mean? Like, what were you reading in the shower to memorize? I laminate my newspaper every day, in New York Times. I get New York Times laminated edition,

so I could read exclusively in the shower. I would buy that. Yeah, I would buy it too. Welcome back to the show. It's so good to see you. We haven't seen you since penis was on. I love that you call it penis. We hoped that some people would call it penis. Why? What is it? Pen 15? No, it's right there in the, it's the, well, it's a five. That's the intention. Oh, you're that, yeah, you're that person. Some people called

it penis. Yeah, penis. Yeah, that's, that's a fun way to pronounce it. Okay. So did they think it was a some sort of foreign show? It was like, yeah, yeah, it was from Russia. Yeah. It's great to have you back on the show. Of course, you did that show on the Hulu network, which I believe is a streaming service. Correct. Yeah, the Hulu. Actually, my aunt and uncle were like, is it going to be on TV? They thought it was a web series. A long time, because of Pulu. Yeah TV was like CBS Fox. You know, I had it made it.

Let's round down the list, CBS Fox. That's it, right? The only thing I can think of. I can think of it too. But no, it was on Hulu, which of course one needs to download an app to get, I believe. Yeah, I think so or you could just go to the website and sign in. I learned recently. I think there's a website.

Is it hulu.com or is this correct? Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, they're still doing that. Interesting. Yeah. But now you've made the jump over to a real streaming service. You're on Apple TV, which is,'ve talked about on the show before. It can cost 2550, sometimes 250, sometimes $500 per month to have a subscription to. Sometimes it's

you need a down payment in order to get the Apple TV. Yes. And it's called Apple TV Plus. Don't call it Apple TV because that's the device. That's right. I've had to memorize that. Do you think they are upset that they called the Apple TV device that because, no, we can remember it's Apple TV device? I would think it's a problem. Why didn't they just change the name of the device to Apple TV minus?

Correct. And then the network is Apple TV. That's brilliant. You don't work for Apple. Unfortunately, no. I have turned down every single pitch I've ever brought in there. But the after party is, it's out now. And if people haven't seen it, I watched all of season one.

And I think fans of this show would really enjoy it. Ben Schwartz fans, especially the Algonn, Mr. S. Benny Schwaw. So good. He's really good in the first season. And essentially, what is the premise of this show? The premise. It is a murder mystery comedy. I know, it's scary.

Get ready. What did you say before comedy? Murder. Mystery. The mystery. The mystery. And every episode is from a different character's perspective of what happened the night of the murder,

told in a different genre. That's right. So in the first season, you have, like Sam Richardson's episode was done in the vein of a romantic comedy, and like Baron Holtz's episode was done sort of like a fast and furious kind of movie. And then it has a cast of people, and then they whittled down the suspects and you figure out who has done it by the end of the season. Correct. We would be weird if it was episode two.

That would be confusing. But actually, that would be interesting to find out and then be totally thrown off by the end. That's right. Maybe the next season. You know, Colombo was a lot like that where you would find out in the opening scene who has done it and then Then what you love about Columbo is you think he's just some bumbling guy who's like always talking about his wife And always apologetic and he comes over and then what he's really doing is he's gathering information while he's pretending to Bumble about and this I it took me probably three seasons before I caught on to this technique. He's just gathering information

and then he solves the crime from all of this information. He's pretended not to be gleaming while he's just there being a total dipshit around these whole things. So it's truly all intentional. That's what it seems like to me. I mean, I could be misreading the whole thing.

Inspector Gadget, same sort of vibes. Inspector Gadget? Yeah, me one. You're giving me a look like. I don't recall anything that Inspector Gadget did other than extending his arms robotically. Well, he was trying to save the world, I think. Well, sure.

But I guess Penny would, you know, appropriately would figure out. But Inspector Gadget, a true bumbleer who just stumbled his way you're right you're right and regretting that no no no you're correct you're actually you about inspector gadget no you're mansplaining now i'm explaining it manly way right and you're correct also okay great

so you you have uh... the the show has been on for approximately three or two and a half weeks at this point So you you have the show has been on for approximately two and a half weeks at this point. And your featured episode is coming, you're in the cast this season, you're a new cast member. Your featured episode is coming out this week. Can you give us any sort of information about what genre,

this is occurring? I can, it's the West Anderson genre. Wow. So I felt like he was really, and it's, you know, it's a little bit of a love story. Okay. So I felt like, okay. It's a very symmetrical framing. Very sexy. Very sexy. I mean, I don't, I don't know, it's not really, but...

Are his songs sexy would you consider them to be? His songs are, yeah. Very a lot of composition. A lot of, if you find that sexy, I mean, who does that? Symmetrical sex? Wow. Anyone? And how, I mean, is it fun to be,

do you, here's a question. Okay. I really got to figure out how to phrase this. Do they tell you if you're the murderer or not, before you film the murder scenes, so you can lay that in. tell you if you're the murderer or not before you film the murder scenes so you can lay that in? Yeah. So you're the murderer. Correct. I'm just kidding. I imagine. Yeah, when you sign on, you kind of know if you are or not. Okay. So before you sign on or when the minute you sign the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, then you get an email from

Apple. Hi, you're a murder. There's a lawyer at the door. I would imagine they they entice someone to work on it because they're the murderer and that's that's you know anytime you see a CSI episode or something whoever the biggest star is they're always the murderer right. Juicy, juicy murder scene where they go yeah, I fucking did it. That's your I wonder if we look at who's the first on IMDB. No, who's the highest rate of the cast and- Oh, I want to, you want to do it right now? Sure, let's do it.

Okay, let's see, IMDB, the after party. All right. I want to guess, but I feel like that's not- What were you on the call sheet? If you don't mind me, I think- I think- I want to guess six. I don't really remember.

Six or seven. You're guessing or you are saying you're guessing because you don't want to seem like that was very important. No, I really don't remember. I feel like you remember if you're one or two another than Matt or I'm, you know, I don't know. Right, really. No, I swear to God.

Maybe nine. Maybe nine really is a low as nine, that's it. Well, it's a cast of 11, I think. Right, okay, so here, okay. Okay, is a lot of Phillips in this season or the last season? Last. Okay, so other than the top three who are from the previous season, number one,

according to IMDB is our man, John Cho. Interesting. Interesting, is it not? Interesting, I can't say anything, but it is interesting. He has top line movies. Interesting. Interesting, is it not? Interesting, I can't say anything, but it is interesting. He has top line movies. Okay. So it makes sense, he was in the between two ferns film.

Oh yeah, I love him also. Yes, great guy. And so interesting, now below him is Paul Walter Hauser from Cobra Kai. Interesting, and then Ken Jong, who has been in movies, him is Paul Walter Hauser from Cobra Kai. Interesting. And then Ken Jong, who has been in movies, certainly, but now he's doing the the mass singer. Yes. Yes.

What an interesting career move. I know, but he loves it. He loves it. I mean, it seems endlessly entertaining to be a part of. Yeah, to sit there and wonder if you're going to get measles from Jenny McCarty. Everybody. Oh, God. Am I the last on that? No, you're undercut. measles from Jenny McCarthy. Oh God.

Am I the last on that? No, you're under your back. You're under your above poppy. You're above Elizabeth Perkins. Okay, well that's from he said she said. I regret asking me. You're above Zach Woods. I'm as surprised as you are.

Do you imagine? At tone. You're under, no, I'm sorry, you're above. Does that say you're under or above? I don't know. Who cares? Well, I thought that there would be a joke in learning that I was last, but there wasn't.

You actually are, you're right under Ken. Right in the middle. No, you're in the middle anyway. You say 11 in the cast. You're number three. I'm wearing a redding mask. What's your star meter ranking? Should we look at that? Let's look it up.

Okay. Anna Conkel is on the show. Where is the star meter actually? I'm literally getting hot shame in my cheeks. Where is it on the page? I'm not sure. Okay, just check it. Okay. Top right. I don't know where to go. I don't know where to find this on the left. I'm just kidding. I've never looked for it. I've just heard about it. The star meter

ranking. But I mean, you're up there. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Look at that one. Where was that from? That's from the Emmys. The Emmys, which you were nominated twice. This is so nice. My therapist recently said that when I say nice things about myself, I sound cocky. Because it's not my, I have to like rev myself up to do it. And then it sounds almost inauthentic.

I see. I think it was the takeaway. Everyone's like, you need a new therapist. She's great. I love her. But it is interesting. It's supposed to point out like annoying tendencies. You're doing or like actual problems you have

that you're trying to work through. I've always drawn most to people that have the most criticism. I see. Oh, interesting. A little bit. I don't, you don't want to get away with too much. So you're like those people like mystery and although who were negging people,

the game, the dating thing. Oh yeah, yeah. Mystery wasn't that a guy who wore a top hat or a movie to be a puppet. Oh, that's a person. I have no idea. Mystery's a name. I yeah, yeah. Mystery wasn't that a guy who wore a top hat or a... Oh, that's a person. I have no idea. Mystery's the name. I believe his name is Mystery.

I love it. I believe he invented the term peacocking, isn't that true? Which was all about like you have to wear ed hearty clothes because you can't just wear like what I'm wearing, you know? You have to like put on a little peacock, you got a flare, you know, to let them know that you're like a rock and roller.

Got it. I didn't know. You don't have the exact same brain as me? I wish I did. I'd sort of wish we could switch brains. For one day at least. And that's our new movie. Would it be confusing, you think?

I think you'd be walking around just going, like, what the fuck is going on? I mean, this would be broken. They are your pad of buttons. The pad of buttons, yes. The button pad. That's the technical part. The mean, this would be broken. The, your, your pad of buttons. The pad of buttons. Yes. The button. The most important thing in my life. The after party, of course, is, is created by our, our old friend, Chris Miller.

Is it not? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How was it? Well, to work with him. I love him very, very much. Anthony King. I'm called. He came to my old friends. They're both a middle juice. Yeah. The musical.

The musical. I was very humbled by how they show Ryan, because when we did it, I was very obvious when I was stressed. I was really bumbling around, always very frenetic, and they were very, very chill. And yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, people are given these jobs,

and they've never done them before. I'm sure you were great at it and people had no okay time, but they're very stressful positions. Yeah. And suddenly you're supposedly in charge of 50, 100, 300, 10,000 people at a time. Right, 10,000. Yeah. Yeah. A lot, yeah. Yeah. It was, I respect how cool, common collected they were. Yeah, do you think you would be more chill the next time you are in charge of doing a show? And are you going to be in charge of doing a show? What's in the pipeline?

Oh, I think I would be. I like to think I would be. I mean, if I wasn't in it, I also think that that feels like, you know, not quite 15 hour days every day, I don't know, I'm not sure. But I would like to do it again. Yeah. And that's all I had.

Have you looked at any other show that's out there right now and said, like, I should just take over. Like, say creating your own show. Just take over someone else's. No, no, I find that intimidating. I don't, yeah, no, no. There's no show out there that you would just be like,

I can do that. Just all do that. No. Or even I'll do it worse, I just want to take it over. No. What about you? Yeah, there's plenty of shows such as Abidell elementary let me do this Yeah, I don't yeah, new blood Do it what I'd be so there Right that is the right mentality to have in this work is like I would be that

bad I would be that bad I wouldn't be that bad well and is there more penis coming our way in the future or you mean the show or either hopefully I'm really busy but I not right now, but hopefully someday. It's the kind of thing you can always return to because I don't know if you know this, but you are not the actual ages that you are playing. True. But you can always kind of like go back to it. But when we're in our 50s, I do think about that like what you know.

Want to be funnier? I don't know. Yeah, I, I would like to think so, but yeah, and then you're, you know, we're recasting all the kids at that point. Yeah. Oh, that's right. But well, you can just say they all moved away or they all murdered suicide. Right. Yeah.

I mean, even by the last season, they all look like men and women. You know, they all had facial hair and everything. Because it kind of took so long to, this was the second shazam problem. I believe we were talking about with our friend Adam Is that the kids are all getting older as well as the the the adults who they're supposed to get into were now also getting older What do you mean by getting Maybe I should have erased that better Never mind just watch watch this video.

Body swap, okay. Yeah, that was a problem. I mean, not a body swap. Well, just to get into it. The older people aren't going into the kids' bodies. Although that is a good idea for Shazam, what kind of Shazam? It's a good idea for a Shazam movie

that all of these superhero suddenly they have to be the kids. That is wonderful. Holy shit, when you're right. Okay, you and me, we're doing this. Yeah, yeah, I'm in. All right, I need you to break the story, is that okay? Yeah, absolutely. Because I'm not good with story.

I'm technically not good with dialogue either. What are you, what are you good at? I'm good at inspiration, you know? Like this moment, right now. Oh, yeah, you can do it. You did it great. Yes, exactly. All right. We're doing this Thing is like yeah, yeah, yeah, well they won't I don't know how they find out

Pick up a pencil no, no, no, use typewriters pencils down Wild boy wild and we may be on strike when this comes out with And we may be on strike when this comes out with S.A.G. Yeah, the other union. I just read right before I came here, although the old news. Thank you. Is that the networks we're bringing in like federal mediators? Federal. Federal.

Well, we'll see what happens by the time this comes out. It may be all settled, but regardless, the after party is out there right now and this dynamite episode, the West Anderson, West Anderson episode is coming out this Wednesday and Anna Conkel is here and this is, I cannot wait to see if you're the murderer. I think you're the murderer. Okay. I think John chose the murderer,

but I think you're the murderer too. I bet you guys team up. Okay. I think John Cho is the murderer, but I think you're the murderer too. I bet you guys team up. Okay. Yeah, but yeah, because that's the thing like to do, because I don't want to spoil, but it was one murderer in the first season. So to throw everyone off,

it's gonna be the two murder, the scream basically, based, you know, where it's like, okay, it's two murders, because then they can give each other alibis, you know, so I bet that's what you and John Cho are the murderers. Okay, that's my prediction right now. Interesting. You know, so I bet that's what you and John show over the murder. So that's my prediction right now.

Interesting. All right, and then body swap. I'm writing all these down body swap super here. Okay, all right, great. We need to take a break. When we come back, we have an interior decorator. We also have a return another returning guest. This is like you have a lot to talk about

with the returning guest. I'm thrilled. I can't wait to know. And you can talk about how it feels. Yeah, and this person's had a lot of husbands is that I believe so yeah We will find out a little bit more about that. They've been on the show before and we'll talk about that Big big show Anna-Conkel is here the after party season two Apple TV plus we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this Comedy bang bang we're back and a conkel is here from the Pina show and also the after

party coming out this well it's out but her featured episode is coming up this week and we need to get to our next guest if that's okay I'm very excited about this. Do you you have a space that you live in a home? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do you? I do, yeah, I tend to. Got it. And have you hired someone to run furniture?

Decorate, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we have actually. Right, okay, well, so have we. So we have a common interest in our next guest. They are an interior decorator. Please welcome Leila, hello. Hi. Hi, great to meet you. Great to meet you too. Hello. Hi. Hi. Great to meet you.

Great to meet you too. This is Anna. Hi. How are you? I'm great. I already got a billion ideas buzzing around about this space. Oh, about this space that we're in right now. Unsolicited, of course, but.

Yeah. Take it all by the horns. Feel super decorated. Like, it feels like maybe you got this. No. I mean, it was. Yeah, but I mean, it could always use a touch up or a refresh. Up to you. Your choice. No, I'd, it was. Yeah, but I mean, it could always use a touch up or a refresh. Up to you. Your choice. No, I'd love to hear the ideas. I mean, especially if you think something in particular is not working. Well, it's just pretty masculine in this space.

I am. Well, and you'll see, I don't mean that as a compliment. Oh, okay. With all deers back. Like how masculine though, if you were to describe how masculine my space is. Like beer, barbell. Cool. Yeah. Man cave sort of energy. Man cave meets like lifting weights. Yeah, stinky. Stinky musky.

I'm like, I would say the leading feminist interior decorator. We're leading. Working in this space. Yes. Is that a field that has a lot of competition to be feminist? There is a lot of competition to be feminist because you're working in lots of spaces that are very dominated by men, like a hardware store or kind of the world in general. And I found myself.

I don't know of a lot of hardware stores that are decorated. Well, you're going to the hardware store. It's like get stuff. Oh, at the hardware store. Inside of a home, using things, materials sourced from the hardware store. It's like get stuff. Oh, at the hardware store. Inside of a home using things material sourced from the hardware store, like found objects from the hardware store. Not bought, not bought.

Oh, well, I think the bravest thing you can do as a woman is take things from other places. So I'm actually working to have the largest carbon footprint of any interior decorator on the globe. Oh, okay, the largest, wow. Yes, because for so long, women have been told by so much that we have to take up like small amounts of space. True, so thank you.

It'll like disappear, hey, you know, just stand in the corner. Strength yourself down, stand in the corner. Yeah, stay in the corner. Yeah, so that's basically like so many men's dreams is to shrink the woman and then. Honey, I shrunk her. Yeah, I shrunk you. Yeah, and to me, I shrunk myself.

Honey, I shrunk what I was. Is my husband off? Right, I was shrunk by so much. I was shrunk by honey. I was that. Yeah, to be. Honey, I'm good. Honey, shrunk me. Honey, wow that. Yeah. To be.

Honey, I'm good. Honey shrunk me. Honey, wow, romantic comedy, ding-ding-ding. Yeah, okay, so what you want to do is you want to take up the most space. Yeah. And you mean to do that ecologically? Ecologically, financially, basically just being a massive disruptor in the industry. What does that mean in your industry to be a disruptor?

Well, I'm obviously, as I said, taking a found object from Home Depot. There would be a low depot? Oh, it's depot. I believe the tea is silent, which is not the case in a lot of words. Wanting women to make it silent. That is sick.

Again, I'll try to answer that. I'm sorry, I'll say it to depot.'m sorry. We'll I'll say it to D-bot. Thank you What do you mean found objects at home D-bot because as far as I know they have a lot of stock and and it all cost money to take it out of the store? Well, I find things that don't have price tag stolen Are you talking about stolen items? I know a judgment. I love this But that is sort of the way that the pay tricky wants you to look at. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, is exchanging of goods. Okay, for me, it's all about finding objects in spaces where women aren't welcome. So, for example, if I need a allowed to go there and cut down. Wow. Anything.

Just one log. But they get cut down. They get cut down by men logs with the men. Okay, so that must be very expensive, but that's what you're talking about. Just the jet fuel alone to get down there. That's incredibly wasteful, I would say, for one log. Yeah, which is why I wriggle into the cargo section of planes so that I can sort of offset costs on the way down. And then I can put all of my resources into hijacking a plane so I

can get back home with my log. Okay, when you say wriggle, what's the process there? Well, I just sort of rearrange myself so that I can go in between bodywise. Like in a suitcase. Yeah. Okay. Or in between suitcases. Oh. In someone else's suitcase, I'll sort of intercept the suitcase.

So either in a suitcase. Yeah. Or in between suitcases or in someone else's suitcases. These are the three possibilities of wriggling. Yes. So often you'll see a sidewalk person taking suitcases at the airport. So the sidewalk person. Yeah, correct. And I'll sort of stand in their place, intercept a suitcase, dump out all the stuff that was in the suitcase into the trash, get into the suitcase,

take sort of wriggle myself with my little feet dangling out of the sides. She has those little feet there, by the way. Let's see how they look. Yeah, they're pretty small. I have to say to Brad. They're not the smallest feet I've ever seen. Well, that's disrespectful, but okay. Well, if you wanted big feet.

I was going to say, yeah. Women are complicated. Women have no one thing. It's not one thing. Right. Yeah, exactly. Right. There are so many twos within a woman

and we have lots, multiple of them. Okay, so you wriggle into the flight on the way there in a suitcase and then you hijack the plane on the way back. Yes. Why not hijack the plane on the way there? Because it's just me. Like I don't need to take up that much space on the way there, but then when I have the log,

I do need a whole plan. Oh, I see. Have you been to prison for the hijacking? I've been near a prison, but I have not actually been within a prison. So you haven't done any of this yet. No, I've done. Oh, you have.

I've done. You've done. I've done. So you've hijacked. I have. But you haven't got a prison. Queen. Queen.

Well, that, are you on the lamb or, uh, are you wanted by the law? Do they know who you are? You've hijacked playing. I'm definitely very in demand as an interior decorator. Yes. So people are hunting for me often because my schedule is so busy because so much of it is spent in transit, which I think everyone can relate to, especially in this Los Angeles traffic. I don't know how you guys do it, Hollywood. Where are you from, actually? I'm from just outside of Hollywood.

Oh, okay. Santa Corita. Yeah, cool. You're religious, sir. I practice pretty much every religion. Oh, at the same time, or do you, on different days of the week? In July, we'll much every religion. Oh, at the same time, or do you, on different days of the week. In July, we'll practice every religion

I wanna do God willing, slay. All right, well, this is incredible. What is your style, would you say? You're aesthetic. My aesthetic is baskets. Huh, I don't know that I've heard that, I mean, I know like mid-century modern, but just baskets, like.

Big baskets, and you baskets like big baskets and you could be surprised what you could fit inside of basket as long as the basket is big enough for the objects. Okay. Well, let's, let's run down the list. Rugs. Rugs love to see those in a basket. Okay.

Like pillows. You could put those in a basket. Wait, wait, but the basket isn't big enough for them. What about that? Oh, well, in that case, you could take out all the stuffing from the pillow, throw that in the trash, or river, and then put that, the skin of the pillow in the basket. I've never, I guess I've never really,

I don't like it. Thought of a pillow as having skin. Well, the inside of the pillow is the guts and the bones, just like us us and the outside is the skin. The dermis. Yeah. The epidermis. Yeah. I don't know. Interesting. So, almost anything can fit into a basket if the basket is big enough. If you're willing to break it also, which some people are not and those are not people I'm interested in working with. If you want your MacBook Pro to stay in one piece so that it can fit inside of a beautiful basket

that I've sourced for you by stealing it from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, then be you're not a private match. Okay, well, what if we roleplay this, like say that you're coming in here and you wanna redo this space and I'm a potential customer. Okay.

What would you say? Okay, so I'd walk in and I'd go, ew, ew, ew. You're waving your hand near your nose like it smells. It stinks in here. No, is this a tactic like mystery when he would neck women? I don't know if you know who this is. Oh, my close friend from childhood. Oh, you know mystery.

Yes, well, I have a few friends named mystery, so you're gonna put an arrow at that. Okay, he's the game. You're still in good clothes. Yes, well, I have a few friends named mystery. So you're gonna have a narrow it down. Okay, he's the the the game. You're still a good. Okay, never mind. Okay, but what is this a tactic? Because my one of my friends mystery works for Hannah Barbera. So he's doing games as well. Oh, okay. I didn't know Hannah Barbera was doing games. That maybe has pro instead. That I'm thinking of probably but Hasbro also does movies.

So it's the crossover these days, who knows. But I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is this a tactic where you're saying it smells or do you actually think it smells? I think pretty much every place stinks like shit. Do you think that it's a problem with every place or do you have like shit in your nose? I was wondering the same thing,

because there's a day in there. So it shouldn't be sticky. Yeah, like what in the morning do you go outside and then sniff shit every morning? Well, I try to not wipe as often as possible. Why would? Why? I get that. Yeah, because you can really develop a sensitivity to if you want to only use a toilet paper

when you really need it. Okay, so I mean, you're... That being said, it stinks like shit. All of that being said, it's you, it stinks like shit. Objectively, it stinks like shit. Okay, so let's continue. Yeah, yeah. Ew, ew.

I apologize for, maybe there's a plumbing issue. I'll try to fix that, but what do you think of the place aside from that? Oh, ugly. Big, ugly. Um, big walls, wondering what we could do about that. Big walls are a problem. Yeah, it's me. If you're going to have the walls, you just should not have a ceiling.

No ceiling in the play. I feel like we need the ceiling protection from the elements. Yeah, you think you need the ceiling. You think you're not strong enough to weather the elements, but I'm here to tell you you can weather the storm, weather it's outside or inside of you. So you don't mean like a loft. You don't mean just like a place with no walls and a very high ceiling. You mean no ceiling.

I would love to see this house without a ceiling. Huh. Okay. I mean, it's going to be difficult because there actually, this ceiling, there's another floor right above it. So I kind of feel like the people who are above us would then suddenly like crash to the ground. Oh, it would be so amazing to be able to connect with those people in the floor above us by eliminating the ceiling in between us. Maybe we just put a fire pole in there, you know,

that we could slide up and down. I actually have an amazing gun that I have been using to blow holes in between floors. Okay, do you have it with you? In the car. Okay, can we... Can I go out to the car with you? No, you can't because I really don't want you to know what kind of car that I drive. Okay. Do you do you mind leaving? Here? The gun. Yeah. Oh, um, okay, wants me gone. Things like that. Do you mind getting the gun? I mean, I'd love to just check out this.

I love to see it. Yeah, you say you have a cool gun. I'm not really pro guns, but I'm interested in just for interior design. Yeah, right. I mean, you hear so much about a guy with a gun. A good guy with a gun. I'm not really pro guns, but I'm interested just for interior design I mean you hear so much about a guy with a gun a good guy with a gun But what about a strong woman with a beautiful gun and Terry designer? Yeah, so is it decorated? Not yet, but we are working on it. Oh, okay cool. Okay. Go get this guy. Oh my god I didn't mean to hurt you

Barely touched you listener Scott hit me. I bear I feel like I barely tapped you on the just trying to hurt you. I barely touched you. Listener, Scott hit me. I feel like I barely tapped you on the, just trying to get you out of the room. Where'd you tap me, Scott? The bud. I apologize. I'm from a different generation. Which one?

Older generation, where that used to be cool. You don't know how old I am. Poking butts. Oh, I'm usually, it's a compliment to be cool. You don't know how old I am, poking butts. Oh, I'm usually it's a compliment to say that you're younger than me. Well, I want to be huge and ancient. Oh, how old are you? I'm getting my gun now.

Oh, shit. Okay, she just left the room. Hannah, this is strange. I freaked out. I wish you didn't ask for the gun. I don't know what I was thinking. I just asked if I could have the gun. And this is the first thing that pops in my mind.

And suddenly I realized she's coming back here with a gun. She's't know what I was thinking. I just asked if I could have the gun. And it's the first thing that pops in my mind. And suddenly I realized she's coming back here with a gun. She's on set. Oh, Jesus. Hey, hi, sorry. Don't be. It's okay. Where do you have your your weapon with you? Yeah, it's strapped underneath my clothes. Like John McClain style. Yeah. Are you hitting on? Yeah, you're going to need to get it out, me. I don't, I mean, you saw how you reacted when I tapped you

your little butt. I don't, I don't know that I want to take your clothes off to grab your gun. Just taking space up, right? It's not little. It's not little. I beg your pardon, I shouldn't call it little. But do you really, if you want me to...

No, no, no, no, I wasn't talking to you? No, no, no, I was talking to you. I'm sorry, we're talking to Anna. I was talking to Anna. I'll, if you want. Get in. Okay. Are you sure? Yeah.

Okay, I feel like super awkward. Not sexy at all. This is the most awkward, angular. Ow. Oh. And now Leila is grunting. It's like she's giving birth to something. Like she's giving birth to her skin. Well, it's attached to her skin.

Oh, yeah. Okay, I don't know what. Oh, okay. How does it feel? It's quite light. It almost feels like a not real. But like. Yeah, this looks like a prop gun.

It's first of all, it's orange. Okay. Open your mind up. Open my mind up. Yeah. To what? To this being, I mean, it looks like a plastic toy gun that you got at the supermarket. The possibility of a woman interior decorator having an amazing gun. So this is a metaphor. Yes. Got it. Okay. Oh, so everything you've been doing is a metaphor, even the fact that you smell shit everywhere is a metaphor. I actually have no idea anymore. So you're like a performance artist essentially. In a way. Oh, and you're here to

help us understand things in a different way, not to decorate the house? Well, if you still like me at the end, I would love to decorate your house. At the end, wow, I don't know that I like you at the beginning. Whoa. So there's no creative vision, no judgment, but zero creative vision for this room or this house. I do feel that there is something quite stinky about the energy of the building. I just think that's you.

I don't. I think there's something really stinky. And I think the allies in the room will agree with me. But other than that, yeah, no vision other than to get the spiritual stink out of Scott's home. Okay. Well, you know, I mean, you sound like an energy worker, not an interior designer. I say that with support, love.

I trust feminism, me too. Trust in you. Okay, and I think you're just a crackpot. But I don't know. And also it sounds like you're on the run from the law. And I could get a reward by turning you in and calling the FBI right now. Well guess what? You're not going to get a reward because they actually don't even want me because they

say that I'm too annoying. So nice try. I mean, and this was all a metaphor. The oh, I see. I mean, I understand that like, that is one way to escape from the laws, just be annoying, where they're just like, this is too much trouble.

Yeah, if you have such a rank personality that they don't even wanna keep you behind. It's gonna be you realize this though. I guess. You're the one who said it. Isn't it a prison? I think living as me is enough of a prison and in of itself. That's a good point.

I mean, we're all trapped in these bodies that our parents gave us. And there's no way out. No way to escape unless you take the stuffing out. That's a good point. Okay. Well, Laila, I think you're bad at your job, but I appreciate you coming here and telling us about it. How much you could pay to do a session. I have yet to be paid.

Okay, that doesn't surprise me. Well, we have to take a break. Does that surprise you? It does. I thought it was going to be here for a couple more hours. Couple hours. Wow. I mean, I don't know. Are you free for the next couple of hours? I want to hear more about here for a couple more hours. Couple hours. Wow, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Are you free for the next couple hours?

I wanna hear more about unless you take the stuffing out. It feels like a threat. No, we definitely wanna do that. But we do need to take a break. When we come back, we have a returning guest. And who knows, you may be there at some point too. Be a returning guest. Be back here.

Sure, I mean, crazy or things have happened. Awesome. I keep having the weirdest people back on the show. I mean, you could come back at some point to be a returning guest. Be back here. Sure, I mean, crazy or things have happened. Awesome. I keep having the weirdest people back on the show. I mean, you could come back at some point. OK. Come up with a new angle, something new that you're doing. Tomorrow? I mean, there might be a little too soon, but the next day, yeah.

I can't wait. I mean, we probably want to look past this week at some point. But so. OK, so Monday of next week. I mean, we can certainly chat about this offline, but. I'm gonna actually pull up my calendar, but we can still take a break, but I am pulling up my calendar.

You're pulling up your calendar? You're pulling up your calendar? Okay, I'm taking mine down. That's just to even it out. Okay, we need to take a break. When we come back, we have a returning guest. That's right, Myrtle McGee is back. We also have Anna Conkel and Lala will be still with us.

We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this Comedy bang bang we're back. Anna Conkel is here the after party season two Do you hope you'll be back for season three? I'm not I already know. Oh Thanks for bringing it up. Sorry. No, I'm just kidding. No, it's good. They changed the cast every I know But yeah, I did I wasn't what a bummer. Thanks Would you get shot at the end of this one? Because you're the mother oh my god. What are you doing to me? I had come on I

Can't say anything me you could come back Sam Richardson's back. I'm alive at the end of the season. You're alive? Maybe. Shop the head, but you're like an acoma or? Can't say. Okay, all right. We'll see. I've been in a coma. Really? Why?

I don't want to talk about it. Oh, come on. Just kidding. I was actually recently in a coma. How recent? But I was basically awake the whole time. How so? Oh, I don't know that qualifies as a coma.

I think the only qualification of a coma is you have to be asleep. Well, I was laying down at a hospital out in the lobby of a hospital waiting. Oh, what were you there for? I was visiting someone very close to me. Oh, so sorry. Thank you.

You're welcome. Did they work at the hospital in an afternoon? Oh, I assumed they were a patient. I was visiting my old roommate who works in the hospital. Wow. Your old roommate, so. Yeah, I just felt I was laying kind of in the lobby for a while, and they asked me to leave.

And I realized that I was actually at the wrong hospital. Oh, OK. Good story, though. Whoa. Good for a podcast, at least. I don't know, in personal conversation, if it's a good story,. Whoa. Good for a podcast at least. I don't know in personal conversation if it's a good story, but on a podcast, I give it a B minus.

Thanks. No problem. All right, well look, we need to get to our next guest. And boy, she is certainly a returning one. You remember her from previous episodes, or at least a previous episode. Please welcome back Mertle McGee, hello Myrtle. Hello Scott, so thrilled to be back.

Thanks for having me. It's wonderful to have you. Yeah, I just want to start off by saying, I am an ally, T'layla. I do think it smells like shit in here. The difference is, I love it. I don't know, maybe there is a plumbing problem. I don't really have time.

Perhaps, but don't change it, God damn thing. All right, great to see you Myrtle. It's so happy to be back here. don't change it. God damn thing. All right. Great to see you, Mertle. It's so happy to be back. Remind us of your details. Yes. Exactly who you are and why you were on the show before. Sure.

I was on the show last time because I was a widow, 17 times over. Plus, 17 husbands, none of them to divorce. No. Okay. So they all passed away or? They passed away in various tragic situations. Yes. All of them tragically. A lot of them relatively tragic and Yes. All of them tragic.

A lot of them relatively tragic and pretty anyone dies. It's spectacular. It is tragic, but it's more tragic if you die with, you know, a blow gun or something to your trickier. How many blow guns to the trickier? There were two. Two. Not Remington the first and Remington the second.

So was it, do you think it was a Remington issue? Like just people maybe the second one was just really excited about the story of the first and thought he could top it off something. It's just a Remington's an interesting name because it's the name of a gun and the name of a private detective played by Pierce Brosnan. And this is back in the era where every private also did have sex with at one point,

but you did not marry him. Well, I've known he's been with his wife for a decade. Yeah, we had a couple of fun weekends though. Really? Yeah, she's not aware of it. Okay, wow. I had no idea. Yeah. Is that the only celebrity?

Oh, no, it had many, many celebrity relationships. I've had 17 husbands, but I've also had relations with a myriad of other Hollywood elites. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you, I mean, you are a sex positive guest. Yeah, very sex positive, yes. And, you know, I am back because, well, last time I was here, it was 17, it's now 18, I've lost another husband.

Oh, I was going to, I thought you met, you got recently married. Oh, I did. And, and he and he has passed. I'm still, so what happened with it? Is it tragically as well? Yes. And again, no need to ever say sorry about it, because I'm so thrilled to just be able to love

and be loved by people that I really don't have to, you know, feel the pain of it for more than a day or two. Oh, really? Very quickly. So what happened with this one? Well, this one, see, okay, so my last, that my 17th husband, I had talked about SM, it died because he was entering a chubby bunny contest. He was trying to describe a chubby bunny contest. Chubby bunny is where you try to fit a lot of marshmallows

in your mouth at the same time without swallowing. Without swallowing. Has this ever entered one of those in like snuck a swallow in there? Probably. But sneaking a swallow is harder than you think. And I think that actually what happened to my 17th husband author because he had 71 in his mouth. And I spoke about this last time.

He ended up flailing his arms about. These must be mini marshmallows. It was a celebration. No, they're full size marshmallows. Farts. He had a huge mouth. And did he do wonders with it, my God. Now, he was flailing about.

We thought it was a celebration and turns out, of course, it wasn't. And you thought it was him way like he was. He was in a game. Because he had just beat the world record. That was his't. And you thought it was him way like he was instead of getting there. Because he had just beat the world record. That was his goal. And the world record was 70? 70.

Yeah. I believe. He was 71. I'm missing the number now. Anyway, I was there. And he passed away, which was, of course, very sad. But I did meet another gentleman there because it was a world record convention.

I don't know if you know how this works, but they do big conventions where you try to, you know, win different world records all the same place on the same weekend. What? I think our friend, our friend Fred Guinness is probably, probably would be at one of these. Yeah, absolutely. I don't know if you know he was on the show a couple of weeks ago. Oh, I didn't know about that. Yeah, he's in charge of the Guinness Book of World Records. Oh, he would know all about this. I'm surprised you don't know about it if you had a whole conversation with him. Oh, I don't think it ever came up because we were too busy arguing about pulling oneself

up by their bootstraps and what that means. I understand. But so he was in charge or he was just there. Oh, he was just there. He was working on another world record himself, which was his world record. Longest beard. Really? How long was his beard?

Five feet and three inches. That's long. Yeah, really tall of a man. Three, three, three. Short man long beard. Which was really fun for me. Really fun for me. The height difference was actually kind of cool

in where he ended up right at Nippel height. And that was exciting. Oh, okay. Yeah. You're, you're, you're, because we could justel Heights. And that was exciting. Oh, okay, yeah. You, you're, you're, Because we could just stand there and he could be doing, you know, it'd really comfortably just stand and he would be really pleasure. And he, okay, okay, yeah.

That's more than, maybe I need to know about that particular situation, but up to you. And then the long beard would it be sort of like a train like Princess Diana? Yeah, I mean, typically he would roll it up most of the time. Oh, really? Yeah, because I mean, what are you, what are you gonna do with him? I guess girl. I think I mean, typically he would roll it up most of the time. Oh, really? Yeah, because I mean, what are you gonna do with him? Like a scroll.

And everything. You roll it up, you roll it up. Well, he still have to wash it though, right? And I, I'm not arguing with that. I would hope he would. Well, you do. It turns out you do. It's not like dreadlocks or something

where you just let it go. You know, you do have to keep it kept just like the rest of the hair on your body. And so one night we went to sleep and you had just done a nice washing. And he forgot to roll it up before he fell asleep, which is dangerous. Why is that because he felt a tremor?

He thought there was an earthquake and he hopped out of that sofa and tripped right on that beard and he just hit his head right on the corner of my magazine stand. And he was done. Oh no, you have a whole stand for your magazine. Yeah, I do. It's a sharp stand.

That's so dangerous. It's a sharp cast iron stand. Hi. Yeah. Just for magazines. I love magazines. Which ones do you subscribe to? Yeah.

What's the woman's world? Woman's world is my favorite magazine. Yeah, each week there's a new. And you have to say, what's the one? It's your favorite, though. Well, it is my favorite. I absolutely adore it because each week there's a different amount of time

that they give to lose a different amount of weight. So they're like, lose 17 pounds in 10 days, but then you look at the next week and it says, lose 34 pounds in 24 days. And you're like, which one's better? You know, right? Yeah, I do. You have to kind of comment the denominator of all these.

Sure, sure. But then right below it, it also gives good recipes for things like cakes and muffins. Yeah, mixed messages. Which I also love. Yeah, mixed messages and muffins. Yeah, have you lost any weight using these? Nope, my weight has remained exactly the same

since I was 14. Oh, how much do you weigh, do you mind me asking? I weigh 90. I'm gonna go around the table. 99. Okay, and then Layla to Don't tell you okay. It's two times something two times something in the Nana what are what are we waiting? 142 142 okay? Congratulations, and what did you say?

99 I don't go a pound over 99 I tried but as you can tell on the small woman leathery skin You know, yeah, no you're you're you're approximately a chest in a head above 311. Exactly. Just wh- exactly. Just from nipples up. You've just got about a foot. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Anna, what were you saying? Oh, I was, are you from the East Coast? Yeah. Yeah, you remind me a lot of, you know, some of my family friends. Yeah. No, is that a compliment or is it? No, yeah, they're like, we call friends. We call friends.

We're from Vermont. Vermont. Yeah, Massachusetts Vermont lived in both. And I feel, right? Am I wrong? I'm from Roewait and Connecticut. Okay, Roewait and still Roewait and to get there. Sounds like Croatia, but it's different.

Yeah, it isn't Croatia, can it? No, it's very different. It's quite different. Two different it isn't Croatia, can it? No, it's very different. It's quite different. Two different places in the world. Right. Yeah. So were you watching, what was your husband's name again? Mystery.

His name was mystery. His name was mystery. I heard you talk about that. I said, is it the same mystery? We're talking about the same person. No, we're not the same person. No, no. Were you watching this happen?

Have you watched all of your husband's pass away? I've seen most of the deaths. Yeah, I've seen most of them. I wasn't I was out cold I had taken a lot of night well the night. Oh how much six Six doses or six bottle or what are we talking? We're talking pills and six sleeves So you know each sleeve has like eight pills on it. I can't remember how it's all oriented But yeah, I was sick. Can you OD from nightquakes? Sure, I would assume so.

I didn't wake up for a couple of days. I was told a couple of days later what had happened. I guess you can OD from anything, any substance. Yeah. If you like a, you can. Water, paper, you can? Anything, yeah. Water, yeah, I had a husband,

do I drink it to which water? You had a husband, dive drinking it. Sure, absolutely. If you go to Coachella and you are on a lot of different drugs, you tend to feel quite thirsty. So you'll drink a lot, a lot, a lot, and they warn you. They say, don't actually drink too much water because you could drown your insides, but you get so thirsty and it's so hot out that you don't know.

And that is what happened. And he was at Coachella. At Coachella. Was he performing? No, he was one of the security guards. Oh, okay. His name was auto Auto a you T. Oh, the car Yep How interesting yeah, yeah, did he have a love for that kind of work though?

I mean at least I absolutely love he loved he loved standing right at the front of where the concerts are because You know people do that thing where they float bodies in the air. What's that called? Body passing. Yes. You've been alive a long time, but we all forget things that we've seen a lot. You may have been called body passing in some way. Body passing sounds a lot like death.

It's just funny. It does. It does, yeah, exactly. And some of those concerts, you feel like you're dying. There's a lot of fun things happening. Anyway, he would like to stand at the front. I don't know where you'd be back. He liked to stand at the front

because he'd like to collect the body passes or the floaters, whatever you call them. I heard you say, there it is. Grants and stuff. He said, collect them, what do you mean? You know how they have to end somewhere? Have you ever been one of the people pushing someone above you?

And then you're like, I want to wear this person ends up. I just assume that they go into a stargate or something. I always thought so too. And then I did it. And once you get to the front, you're like, what the fuck is going to happen to me now? You crowds are just murals. I know. I wouldn't have.

I wouldn't have thought. Oh, yeah. Yeah, wow. That's so cool. Yeah, and now I do it regularly. I have a crowdsurfing team. Really? A group of people that we do crowdsurfing together.

We just go to someone's house, go to the basement, we just crowd surf from one another room to the other. You can't go to a low ceiling basement. No, it's a high ceiling basement. You might like it, Leyla. It sounds nice. Yeah. In fact, I mean, there is a ceiling on there,

but I got there. It's a really good argument to just take it as ceiling. I would be just frigging so stoked to get my gun on that. Yeah, yeah. It's really fun. You can enjoy it sometime. Maybe you can be different. I just friggin' so stoked to get my gun on that. Yeah, yeah, it's really fun. You could enjoy it sometime. Maybe you could be different. I thought you were so easy to crowd-sew,

because you're so little and so leathery. I'm leathery, I'm light. I'm agile. You're like a wallet, like a human wallet. Exactly. What, for that chain? No, it's not. It's really interesting.

It's so true. I do wear this chain around my neck, just so that if someone had to grab me, that it has something to hold on to. You know, because if you grab onto my skin, it's really. I might get it. Yeah. Yeah. I just try to do that for safety.

Yeah. Wow. That's so into, I mean, a terrible tragedy that happened to auto. Oh, yeah. Awful. Awful. But I didn't know about it until a couple days later. And by that point, like I said, I never really mourned someone from one of their days,

too. So the morning sort of happened while I was asleep to the night well. Yeah. Are you on to someone new? I mean, have happened. Well, I was asleep to the night well. Yeah. Are you on to someone new? I mean, have you? Well, I thought I could come in today, and maybe we could figure out a way to find someone for me in your sphere of the world.

Oh, it's someone that I, like one might. It could be in the comedy. See, I figure you've got a show called comedy, Bang Bang, right? And I figured there's probably an app that goes with this comedy, Bang Bang, where you meet someone in comedy that you bang bang Yeah, oh, I mean, that's a different way of looking at it

But I could definitely not one you could build one Yeah, yeah, you're not doing anything right now if I could build it then you could come yes That is the that's the motto. Yeah, there it is. Okay. Let's should we try to figure this? I mean what are you looking for essentially? Well, I'm looking for one person in particular and if you have a connection to him I would love to know it is a young up-and-coming comedian who I I'll tell you where I see him I see him on the The where I get my guess at the quick and stop there's a screen right next to the pump and he does the news on that screen It's like the quick and stop news or something

I it's like the video they stop news or something. It's like the video they play. His name is Mario Lopez. Oh, say by the bell. What? From say by the bell? I'm not aware. Slater. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Mario Lopez is, I don't know that he's necessarily a comedian as much. He's funny. Oh, I'm like, see funny. That's, I mean, that's really, he is funny. I really heard. I to hear. I fill up my gas and then I get so hot, I get so hot and bothered when I'm filling my gas that I have to drive around with the windows down for a long time to cool down. But ironically with that, does it just runs me out of gas

so I head right back to the gas station and I'll fill her up again. It's kind of a vicious cycle. Yeah, well you can see him at your home on, I believe, extras, one of the shows that he's on. It's fascinating. You know what, I could have googled this before I got here. cycle yeah well you can see him at your home on i believe extra is one of the shows that he's on the respondent you know what i could have googled this before i got you you could yeah i mean i honestly i wish a lot of our guests would google things before they come on here but um it's something to think about

well i if you have any sort of connection to him though i'm interested in anyone i mean i have had i have had lovers in the comedy industry i couldn't make it. The Marks brothers. All of the Marks brothers. Several of them, Groucho. Yes. You know, he had that quote where he didn't want to be a member of any club that would have him as a member, but that is just not true because I built a club

for him and his member and he joined it. Well, many, many. He's always. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh, many times. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh, uh, so, uh, uh, you had groucho, did you have Harpo? Harpo, little, little, little, little, she goes Epo? No, but I did have Carl.

Carl, oh, Carl, wait, Carl, Mark. Yeah, but I didn't understand his comedy. Oh, I don't know that he was funny as you know. Yeah, I mean, he was into joining the worker and the means of production. He called his penis the workter. And I called my lady bits the means of production. He called his penis the work and I called my lady bits the means of production. Oh wow. And you call his penis penis. I do call his penis penis. Just his all the love. He really preferred that. And I try to respect people's

preference. So if you had any comedian since the Marks Brothers, because that's a long time, the stooges, the stew, okay. Yeah, we would all get it right. Contemplaries of the March bus. Yeah, we would all four. We did a lot of four sums and they called it Slaps Dick. Okay. Slaps Dick. And that's duck. Slaps Dick. Yeah, and that's duck. You've heard that phrase.

I've heard of Slaps Dick, but I think people would pronounce it. Slaps Dick, what am I saying? You're saying Slaps Dick. Slaps Dick, what are you saying? I'm saying Slaps dick. Slaps dick. What are you saying? I'm saying slaps dick. Slaps dick. Like not a dick, but a stick.

Slaps dick. Are you guys hearing the difference? Yeah, one's from a tree, and the other is a physical flush member copy. I don't mean to point at you, but I'm not. I don't mean to make a section. Yeah, I don't know why you're singling me out. I'm sorry. But not sure either. Yeah, I'm a subtle. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. So the stuages you have Larry Mo Curly. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. And Curly didn't even hear. But that's not true all over his body. Oh, he had shortened curly. He had, I was pulling curly's out, I was coughing him up for weeks.

Curly's curly. Do you have kids? Because a lot of this is explicit and I'm just like, I love it. I respect it. I have a lot of kids. I did lose track and I think that's okay. Oh, I think you don't know them all. No, there are many, there are plenty of men in the world who don't remember,

no, how many kids they have. Sure. Why can't I be one of those people? I bet if you were to ask Nick Cannon, how many kids you have? Five days out of six, he would not know. Definitely not know. Yeah. No. All right. Well, that's great. Yeah. So they're around though. Do you think Nick Cannon changed his name because of his penis like to call it a cannon? I know who Nick Cannon is. I do. I do. You'd. You'd like to say a cannon. Oh, I love it. I love it.

I mean, he's pretty good. He's pretty good in the bedroom. Oh, you've had a cannon in the bathroom. Yeah. Well, we had sex on a pontoon one time. On a pontoon? Yeah. What is the situation that would have you

to be love making on a pontoon? I was in some lake in Minnesota. I rented a pontoon. He was the one filling up my gas, Nick Cannon. I was his name. I don't think this is... Oh, just A and Nick Cannon. Yeah, this is not the Nick Cannon.

I believe it's Nick Cannon. I, but a different, I mean, people, I don't know if you know, this people have similar names. Sometimes it, and even the same name, but they're different people. Tomato tomato. Yeah, that's a similar name. Potato potato. And referring to their, they are the same people. Yeah.

Or the same thing. Yeah, they're saying this things can have the same name and then be different things. Oh, I would just just not occur in the dictionary because, you know, well, I guess it does like rock and rock. Two different things. Yeah. If you know, though things I'm picturing when I say both of them. Rock and rock. Yeah, I can picture a big rock. I can picture a little rock. Yeah.

Interesting. So, I don't know that I have any sort of connection to Mario Lopez. I'm so sorry. I, you know. Any other hot comedians like Ryan C. Chris? He's going to be pretty busy with Wheel of Fortune. What a wonderful choice to take over that show. I didn't know that.

We all agree. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that either, but now I do. He's unattainable then. If he's doing Wheel of Fortune, that's a tough one. Unless I can become a contestant. Every old woman is gonna be after him.

That's so true. That's a point. Yeah, that's cliche. Let me take that back. Let me call you old. Let me just, I don't mean to go. That's what you're saying. But yeah, you have the very young spirit.

Well, I'm sure that you are physically very, very old. Physically, quite old mid 80s, but, um, but when we say mid, where do we talk at 80? Why never give my age? I never give my age. Okay, but, but, but up there. Yeah, I would never identify it for you. Yeah.

Can I ask you for an old, elderly ancient? Oh, really? Like you, okay. That's a dream I love. I haven't heard that in today, I'm hearing it. Well, it sort of brings to mind some sort of knowledge or intelligence or other wordliness. Pair.

Yeah. Aged. Aged. Yeah. Yeah. How old do you think you'll get to? Well, you've got a perfect. Oh, I've got another 40, isn't me for to? Well, you've got a perfect. Oh, I've got another 40 is in me for sure

40 you think so absolutely absolutely I was it's bright. I wash my feet in the sink every night Has that led to any accidents with your husband? There was Dangerous there was one yeah That was a simple. I was just a simple. He walked up behind me and I fell and That was a simple, that was just a simple he walked up behind me and I fell and landed on his, on his, uh, Oh, on his, you did a trachea. I thought the trachea situation. That's so dangerous. I mean, I actually three trachea situations.

Yeah. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is terrible. Well, uh, look, I hope you get to 19. Thank you. The Paul hardcastle number, of course. Oh, I'll get plenty past 19. It just sort of depends on how much for that, you know?

Yeah, I mean, have you ever wanted to though have one of your husbands be alive until you die? I always want them to be alive. What are you implying, Scott? I'm not saying that you're the person who killed them necessarily. No, it just happens. It happens.

These things happen. Everyone dies. I didn't want to ask. Yeah, if there's never been like no one's looked at the other. Have I ever met anyone? Only one of them. And that was very justified. Oh, which one did you think?

It was, his name was Sven. Sven, so Swedish gentleman? So, sweet little Swedish man. Little, I don't mean little in size. He was actually quite large, was six, seven, but little in, little in, you know, the middle, but he's got much back. In the middle, he had lots of back, he had plenty of back, and he was a, I said sweet, but really, he was disrespectful and he earned it. What did, what did he do and how did you commit the act? He just treated me like,

shit, Scott. I'm sorry. When someone just treats you like shit. Like emotional abuse or... Yeah, I know. Yeah. Leila knows. Why are you pointing at me? I'm just saying I relate. So what is she saying?

But you're doing exactly what Anna did when she talked about a penis. You're pointing right at me. I'm not pointing. I'm not pointing. I'm moving my forehead in your direction. And you're giving me the eye, and you're like jerking your head towards me. What?

No, I'm not. Oh my gosh. So how did you kill him? I just smothered him with a wet pillow. A wet pillow? Why would I? I guess it's like the best of waterboarding. Well, to be honest, I was watching a show in bed

and I was drinking some thick buttermilk.k it spilled a little bit. I thought this is the time. If ever time to smother my husband it's just pour this buttermilk pillow right on his head. My grandmother used to drink buttermilk. Yeah. Sprints from the cart. Weird right? It's taught. It's straight to weird. No, nobody's doing it anymore. It may be a typical but is it weird? No, it's it's perfectly normal. Yeah. I assume that it had been self-defense just because you're willingness to put it out.

What was it away? I was defending my honor. And you went to, you also went to prison, I have to assume. Oh, no, no one ever expects someone like me. Oh, so when the police came over to your... Yeah, and we're past that point where, isn't there a certain amount of time where you don't have to limit.

There's one murder, but I thought there was. I know. Not I believe murder is the one crime. I think it's one month one month. One month. That would be a hard hard prosecutorial. I know. I know.

So yes, it was self defense. It was. It was. Yeah. They came over. They thought it was self defense. They knew it was self defense clear it was yeah they came over they thought it was self defense they knew it was self defense they saw me they like me I make them some you end up marrying one of the policeman I did yeah and what happened to him what did happen to him I think he was oh right yes he uh he was struck by an airborne fire hydrant. Oh God, and what how does a fire hydrant become on airborne?

Yeah, I become unmoored and then become Yeah, and more than airborne and that's the name of my men war. Oh real you have a memoir coming out Oh, I wondered why you were Unmoored and un an airborne Wow, I love it the murder on the key story the murder Mac, did you call yourself murder Mickey? What a little sleep at the left Okay, I'm starting to believe that you murdered every single one of you. No, absolutely not

No most of them were very tragic accidents. Yeah, okay Sorry, I don't mean to laugh. I know it's okay. I mean I'm having a great time. You can it's okay. I mean, it's not time to talk. You can never be sorry about laughing. It's perfectly acceptable. I just, I don't know why anyone would get involved with you if they knew all of this. I was thinking this is absolutely incredible in bed.

Yeah. You would not believe it, Scott. Have you been with women, Mayors? And have any of them passed? None of them have passed. I don't let women pass. No. Yes. Are you angry? I pleasure them and I let them passed. None of them have passed. I don't let women pass. No. Yes.

Are you angling her? I pleasure them and I let them leave. I've never been married any. You're a beautiful and bad. I'm in comedy. Yeah. Oh. I'm not always transitioning anything.

It's considered you the Mario Lopez of female comedy. Oh. No one said that to me before. You could come to our next body passing ceremony. Do you do that in LA? We do, yeah. I was based in Riverside. Is everyone here invited or?

No, I will. Layla, if you're interested. We talked about that earlier. I'm there. I'm following you home. Excellent. I am not invited. I'm not invited.

And you're not invited. Good. Because I would not come right to be invited. You would not be welcome. If I were invited and I would not comment, I would not be welcome. And you would be glad about that. And you would never have had an invite nor would you have invited in the door. And you showed up with it with, you know, even if you had a big moist cake to supply for.

I would not make that cake. I in fact would eat the cake. I would make it, but I would eat it before I did not come to your party. Oh, well, and I would and I would never have invited you. Okay, Mertle McGee is here. I do love being here, Scott. I don't take that extreme reaction to think that I don't enjoy you.

I certainly do and I love being here. Well, the only reason I wouldn't want to come to your parties, I don't want to end up, I mean, obviously, in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship with you. I'm in a relationship already, but you're so tantalizing. I worry about what I would do if I were alone with you. Absolutely, and you should.

And you should. And there would be so much collateral damage with my wife, and then I would end up dead, and it's a loose loose. And then we'd be trying to figure out who murdered you. Yeah, like a right murder mystery. Yeah. Speaking of which, do you think Hannah's the murderer in the after party season two?

I cannot wait to find out. You know, we've had a murderer, we had a murderer from the screen movies on this show. Oh, we did. Yeah, Jack Wade. Oh, yeah. That's very exciting. Oh, Jack.

Jack. Oh, yeah. Are you not physically? No, I don't get it. I'm not physically. No, he's too young for me. Oh, there's a father limit. Oh, absolutely. Oh, okay. And, and, and Meg. The two of them. Really? She was there.

Is this a threesome situation? Well, she was there monitoring the situation, making sure everything stayed safe. She didn't want to lose them. She wasn't pregnant. She was not pregnant. Okay. Jack, we're sorry if you're listening. We do, we are running out of time. I'm so sorry, Myrtle, but we are running out of time. There is just one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plug. Like a sweaty forehead or a fresh warm dog. This is your time to shine like a damp booger when it hits the light. Just right. This is your time to shine like the dead cow's eyeball. You dissect it in gray.

Oh, this is your time to shine like the blood on the ice. Rich than your time to shine, like a puddle of ice, rich, that you're better than dead. Yes, yes. Yeah, that was, this is your time to shine by Super Popstar Emily Milling. Thank you so much to Super Popstar Emily Milling. If you have a plug theme, send it on over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs.

And what do we plug in, Anna? Obviously, the after party. The after party, July 12th. Hannah's episode, Obviously the after party the after party July 12th Hannah's episode that's my character comes out July 26th July 12th is already happened. It's out. It's out. Yeah well July 26th hasn't that's the one that we're all waiting for boy July 26th approximately 24 days after my birthday Apple TV plus Apple TV plus if you can scrounge together 500 you know

Thousand maybe three thousand dollars you can get Apple TV plus at your own house Absolutely, and that's where I'll be you can stream like a rich person would like a real Oh, wealth. Yeah, what's his name Tim at Tim cook? Right have you did you meet Tim Cook? I don't think so. Weird guy, right? Because Tim Cook is the head of Apple. Oh, I've not met Tim Cook.

What are you on this? I can't get on this. He's a weird guy because you think, okay, his name is Tim Cook. So you think he'd be in like the chef industry, like in a restaurant tour or something. I mean, that's very literal. And then he works at Apple. So you think he's a guy who would like cook Apple pies or something, but no, he makes TV shows and computers.

Like weird, right? I mean, I feel like Mertle would have done with that. He does. He does. And we use them in our sexual aspects. Oh, no. Wait, you've been with Oh, my, with Tim Co. Tim?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I just wanted to get you on the record regarding Tim Co. Tim Co. Yeah, no, I think he's excellent. I love him. But we've met many times, excellent person. Doesn't cook apples.

I don't want to be like that for me though. Yeah, he does for me. He cooks your apple, but he roasts my apple. Oh goodness. Eurela, what do we want to plug here? I am on season two of the after party. Congratulations. I'm on a plug here. I am on season two of the After Party graduation. I was out July 12th and my episode airs on the 26.

Oh, sorry, were you a set dresser? Is that what you, like a in-the-in-tier design kind of? I play Hannah. What? What? I play Hannah after. Oh my god, is this a Kevin Spacey situation with where he was replaced by Christopher Plummer digitally.

Oh. I know you got very worried when I said is this a Kevin Spacey situation? No, no, no, just where he was replaced. Have you been replaced in the show? I can't say that I haven't. I haven't seen it recently. I saw it like about six months ago. You should check it out.

Wait, is that what's happening? No. Oh. Oh, that's right. You're a liar. We forgot. I have nothing going on and I need you to put me back on the show. Okay, you're still on the show right now. Savor while it's still happening. We have a three more minutes. Enjoy it while it's happening. I'm blowing it. And Mertle McGee. What do you want to park? Well, first of all, I just want to say I also have had a Kevin Spacey situation. Oh, no.

So sorry, you're not happy with your knowledge. I loved it. And I'm going to, I believe everything and it's awful. However, he was an absolute dream. Really? Was this on Christmas Eve when he was making one of those videos? It was. Yeah, I was in the background.

Yeah. Oh, you were a background artist on one of his Christmas videos. And then he did some art on my body. We did some body art. Oh my goodness. Yeah, as far as plugging, it's just the body passing event. One month. Just once a month and you have to guess when.

And I'll be there. Also, that's so okay. It'll be here. It'll be very exciting because I've had a special guest then. But yeah, you do have to guess when and where. And if you can guess it. Boy, are you lucky. It's not like everything in life.

You know what I mean? It's like, hey, this person's on tour. If you can guess when and where, you can get it. Probably no one will be there. And there aren't a lot of basements in LA. Also just one point. And I did say Riverside. Oh, that's right.

I'm looking bottom of houses. I know Riverside quite well spend a lovely couple of weeks there. What was lovely about it? Oh, well, I'll tell you off air, but it was interesting. I want to plug the CBB book, the Comedy Bang Bang Book. It is out in stores. Obviously number four on the New York Times, a seller list. Woo! Incredible. Thank you so much, everyone. Just buying it. Hopefully, people have been asking me about the signed copies. We are hoping that we're going to, in the fourth or fifth printing, we're going to do some

more of those. So keep an eye out for those. And you can get any links to buy the book at CBBWorld.com slash book. But while you're over there at CBBWorld, while listening to one of our shows, we have great shows like Hey Randy and Heinins on Prov to meet you and This book changed my life and who me with the Batman and so many great shows over there as well as ad free episodes and all of the Previous 15 years of this just listen to maybe one or two years back You don't want to listen to the early episodes

But head over there to CBB World.com where all of that is there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Alright, that was Rock Me Like A Plugback by Tim. Thanks Tim. Thanks, Tim. Wonderful. And guys, I want to thank you so much. And it's so great to have you as a returning guest. Great to be here. Continue success.

Thank you. And I look forward to your next project. Thank you. And I look forward to this project, because I haven't seen it yet. Good, great. So a big fan and Layla, boy, what can one say? Something nice, I hope. You were, I mean, look, I like, I enjoyed you, and you were fun and come back anytime.

For dinner tonight? No, I believe I have plans, but generally, we can open up the lines of communication and we'll hammer out some details. Great, yeah, just add one to the reservation. I'll see you tonight. Oh, Jesus, okay. In Mertle McGee.

Delighted. Delighted, as always. Yeah. I guys, you're looking so good right now. Thank you so much. I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling hot and young and it's summer. It's hot girl summer.

It is hot girl summer. What did I also hear about the summer? It's like a tomato summer or something? I don't know. I love tomatoes. I read this recently where it's like influencers are trying to get women to eat tomatoes this summer. You know, that all, though.

I don't know. One of my daughter's loves tomatoes, though. Really? She's the only one I keep up with. It could be because she's healthy, you know? Nice. Yeah. How was your daughter? That one? Yeah. It could be because she's healthy, you know, nice. Yeah, keeps herself. How was your daughter?

That one? Yeah. Yeah, who could say at this point, right? 16, I, I said. 16. Wow. That's, yeah. Amazing.

Well, that's a really. Yeah, I have had a lot of children spending 40 years. 40 years. Yeah, so I didn't want to worry. 16 and I finished when I was 50, 50, six. But wait, you're mid-80s right now. 40 years. Yeah, so I didn't want to worry. Six years. But wait, you're mid eighties right now. Right. So she's not 16. The math.

She'd be in her 30s. I didn't say 30. If she's not the lady one, but she's so young she's so many tomatoes. Skin is really tight. Wonderful. All right. Well, we'll see you next time. Bye!