Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Ben Schwartz, Adam Pally, Gil Ozeri

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Ben Schwartz, Adam Pally, and Gil Ozeri of the legendary sketch/improv group Hot Sauce join Scott for another backyard era episode! They talk about sabotaging pitch meetings, the memorable van trip to the Montreal Comedy Festival, and their version of House of Gucci. Then, Gabriel Sardinas’ grandson Irving stops by to play some of his grandfather’s secret voice memos. Plus, Scott’s old weed dealer Bro returns to get help naming new weed strains.

this is the church this is the steeple what did you expect actual people stop crying welcome to comedy bang bang hey thank you to herbicide detective for that catchphrase admission and welcome to comedy bang bang my name is Scott Ackerman and guess what backyard era it revisited redux we are in the backyard once again I know the backyard era came to a close but we just had to get one more taste we just had a new deal double and there's a there's a particular reason for this because once in a generation a comedy group comes along well that redefines what it means to do sketch and improvise comedy well nope

and they have not performed in nye upon eight years or so at this point and they have gotten back together this is the reformation of the legendary what were you guys a sketch group or you nailed the first of sketch and improv I never saw you we had to tell you what our name was you literally asked us what our name was the legend that the tales of these guys are legendary once in it once in a generation which what years were you active 2000 probably four to 2000 2012 by the way I think it's once in a generation so funny guys we gotta welcome back to the the limelight back into the public eye in the public sphere

they are back it's hot sauce please welcome the members the original members of hot sauce as a matter of fact Adam Pally Gillis airy guys welcome back generation oh yeah well I mostly only talk some whistles now like an old 1950s I apologize for that it is nice to be part to be back on stage with the original configuration because there was a couple years where they replaced me with just a pair of ray bands that's true and it was there is no joke we're some of our best hair not even a bit there was a show where Gill and I got a potato on stage wasn't a potato it was a potato and we improvised pretending Gill was the potato and it

was one of our better shows Adam you bet I was the potato you were the potato yeah me gill and then make it and no we just said we need something equivalent or better so we got a potato these are the kind of stories I love hearing about generation Scott I is there gonna be an oral history what exactly I mean how much could we talk about sex a lot of our sketch in first baby a lot of our sketching improv was born out of white hot passion yeah wow Ryan Murphy is actually doing a remake of our hot sauce show and Andrew Garfield's gonna play all three of us yeah we did anything together we fucked that's how we played

you and tick tick boom yeah right me you played my hair and tick tick boom it went great Lynn Lynn you played him in Spiderman and I played him in Spiderman and I and I have recently been portrayed by the real Garfield oh cool so he hates Mondays and how did he this was a bone of contention Scott this is gonna be do you hate John Arbuckle or did what dealt with John Arbuckle dealt with him because that's where that how else was he gonna get lasagna well he has no opposable thumb so it's not like it's like the Batman and the Joker yes two sides he's a master man he's a mastermind he could get other humans to

get him lasagna don't stay so he would play psychological tricks on John in order to get truthfully Garfield Garfield's real thing was that he was psychologically smarter than wait don't you do a impression of Garfield uncle which is art Garfield art Garfunkel as can you hear it real quick yes this is art Garfunkel played by Garfield has nothing to do with John Arbuckle no Garfunkel in our buckle hello oh my old friends it's great you understand this is the kind of stuff that I think once in a generation yeah I mean obviously we're talking about Garfield for some reason let's get back on hot sauce I hear lasagna

cooking sweetly so you guys have not been in the same room together is that can't be true just haven't performed well Gilly and I live in LA so I see you all the time but Adam lives in a different city for many years we see each other we talk we talk but we it's just we definitely tech today was the today this morning we had we had breakfast together and where did you guys eat bread this is what the fans want to know where in a castle Adam rented a castle whenever he comes to LA he lives in a castle amazing yeah I stay I air be and see it no but it was like not not to be too sentimental or but it was

really nice to sit with you these boys and eat and I was saying at the end like I I it's such a short I wish I liked these people I wish I like these it's such a shortcoming that I we don't do it more and it's it's like that's how life goes you know but yeah is I miss I miss being in the same space with them wow it was we were very creative and very like the three of us together would spend every day and we're making no money and nobody would see us perform and very this was the group where it went from nobody seeing us perform to at least anybody sex and I mean obviously you guys have eclipsed you know in your own

careers your singular careers you've eclipsed what you did together as a group exponentially right to the to the 10th 20th 100 hour we've done a lot of fun shows we did the Montreal comedy festival you're right there's no value in it there's no monetary value came when we when we decided you split up yeah no no I I to me the value of our friendship was that we spent all that time together without any like spoils like we we would just and we called it when are we gonna get spoiled nothing good ever happened to us right you know like it was did you ever get any kind of development deal any kind of like we

met with jean dominion once we pitched a lot of people I remember Adam said you could tell how good a company is by what type of water bottle they give us do you remember that yeah oh and also there was a thing we used to do where we knew that everybody's gonna pass on our ideas because we weren't nobody knew who we were and we would be pitching a sketch show and they're like but what makes your sketch show singular we're like oh I mean like it will try to be funny but we would try to plant things in the pitch meetings give each other insane things to say and Gill had the best it was your pitch right the Gill said you

have to say like Frasier for babies like Frasier for babies so and we did it I believe every executive would just not like nobody would care like it was that was truly also now looking back on it how screwed up our values were that like we would spend 24 hours a day together trying to come up with the funniest bits and sketches and then it would pay off by someone seeing a show and being like I'd like to meet with you and then before the meeting we'd be like you know what the funniest way to deal with this is sabotage it by daring each other to do the dumber thing in the meeting is like whoa were we screwed up and then we

say no nobody's meeting in high-five each other was at AOL dot com no great company great company is that true still around and this is the most serious ever CBB has ever been that I've been on the what this is the most serious the most what it's sorry serious say it serious except they bought us baby I just wanted to hear it I was wondering why you have two pools I dared you to say that yeah I have an upside down one right about you have a bunk bed pool you have a pool on top Gary de la Bate gonna be your new producer yeah I feel yeah something like that you'll do the after show you guys have to stick around for

the after so you guys do you went to Montreal once yeah anything else the first year they allowed sketch it was us and it was buffoons and it was Bob and do you remember when Bob directed us and he brought us up to his hotel room and ate a Caesar salad in front of him every time I think of the world we were so amped we were like we're Bob is gonna direct us and Bob goes why don't you guys come up to my room I'll give you notes and we came up and he ate a salad in front of me the best part about it was the pieces of let it was like one of those teasers like it's wet green long like long pieces yeah was it a lot

I remember the green of it like the thick green lot of dressing or dressing or that contributed to that contribute to the heart attack eventually do you think oh wow really I read the book he said he draws a line from that meeting yeah an exact line heart attack drama we all took a big van with all of us and from New York to Montreal I tell this story when Bobby was in it and people are Charlie Sanders yes every time every time anyone's like what's the funny talking about Mike every time I'm sorry anyone someone's like what's the funniest Gil story this to me is like there's gill is the fun by

the way and I think Adam and I will both agree gill is the funniest person in the world I've ever met in my life truly without a doubt be my hands down the funny doesn't matter all right just now like really just like it is even more than like you know like the famous comedians of our generation is the funniest but Adam and I both agree we were in a group with him and we were all fully aware yeah he was the funniest person in the group and the funniest remember but we were doing we're going up there and before gill is a very anxious person we're all very anxious but gill is very anxious as well you

would say right and late and late and late although he's better now way better now yeah but he was that day he was he came and he goes guys I don't have my passport but I researched and I found out if I brought my birth certificate and my driver's license they'll let us in through the border and we didn't double check we said okay no problem and then we packed the car without realizing that in the back of our car were fake guns for our sketches fake drugs for us cuz we had a sketch that by the way it's so funny we we had all these sketches that went well enough that got us in there and then we're like let's write another

sketch where we robbed the audience and so we never tried we did it once or twice at UCB like let's say we got to start with a bang and so we have fake guns fake drugs and one other thing in the back and we're driving up there and we're all sweaty and gill is like really nervous because because this is a huge deal for us the biggest thing that's ever happened to us I mean yeah that's it we can't perform like yeah and that's our legendary hot sauce with Bobby Moynihan in the van wait I want to hear you I want to hear you finish it off my collection of it is that is that what went down is like we start to get towards the board we

get close you're starting very nervous everyone's very nervous very nervous and we go like okay everyone get your your passports out and Gil goes can you get mine it's in my backpack and I go okay and I reached into the back and I grab the backpack and I pass it up to Ben and Ben opens it up and the only thing in the backpack is like 30 avocados right you're not supposed to bring those no you can't bring produce produce so we have to panic with the dump the avocados out the window we have to then we have to

deal with the fact that the smoke doesn't have a driver's license I remember pulling up and then Gil is sweating like sweating bullets and then I rolled down the window and I believe I was the person that talked to the guy and he goes hey can we get your passports I go yeah just so you know one of the guys doesn't have his passport but he has his bird certificate also there's fake drugs and guns in the back and he goes everybody out of the car they interviewed us one by one separated you separated us and we were we had like we weren't doing wrong but we were so nervous to get interviewed so they interviewed every

single person the car one by one and finally we checked out I think we probably had to throw out some of the stuff definitely the avocados and then we went and then they let us through but they let you through wow it was just like they couldn't believe that we had the audacity to bring like the list they give you like you can't bring me right everyone I did a sketch show up in Vancouver one time okay no but I had the I had the foresight to make the festival producer buy the fake guns for it oh that's but then when when I got there they were these old-timey Western six shooters I was like these are okay

whatever Bob hated Bob was like Bob was like don't do the sketch with the guns like you understand what we went through I wish you had more avocados American American avocados that was a huge that was the biggest bomb yeah we did it with hands dumb it was probably bad we did have a with that those sketch shows were so excited I often times when people talk about like career stuff the very beginning is always the most exciting part I think because it was like our learning our voices but also like getting our first big laughs or the first time ever more than five people showed up and the three

of us got to experience that together and we were as close as you could be so to experience that with the closest people was it's it was some of my favorite moments of my career by far by far I don't think I've ever laughed that hard than that ride with the six of us with what's what's better the friendship between the three of you or Sonic 2 making Sonic 2 is a big deal right now Sonic 2 is at 350 worldwide sure but no one really counts the world no I guess us is what actually they don't I found that out the hard way they don't your bonuses are not based on world I'm not in Sonic 2 and for me it's much better

than our friendship well you're a fan huge fan you love you love tails the blue swirl is that what they call it I think it's a blue blur right my son did tell me my son did tell me a pretty heartbreaking story about it though that over last summer he went to sleepaway camp and it rained one day and they they showed a movie and they showed the first sonic oh wow and he was like psyched because he was like all right here we go I'm gonna get my dad is in this oh he thought you were in the first one yes yes how dare you who are you I don't remember the same guy so they're like calls like I was like right Joey but a

few color you play Joe but a fucko so like he's like all psyched and then they play it and in the in the movie I'm like a dummy and he's very funny the movie but the characters like a dummy and Jim Carrey refers to me is which is like a bigger laugh in the movie he's like thank you very much officer fart face and like gets a big laugh and so then I asked like so was it cool when they played Sonic and he was like no it was not cool I was like why he's like for two weeks they called me fart face junior is that true and I was like oh so it wasn't good he's like no no one ever asked to

like oh what was it like doing that no pure fart face sure it was he and I guess it's like my I thought they'd be like whoa well your dad's famous like no no fart face famous for being a fart face wow and you never think about that yeah you never think about how that progeny like but he's good save he's learned after the apiary aviary mishap on a recent episode Jesus Christ I just want to I'm really reminding my peas and queues whatever words I heard about that and in the reddit yeah oh man what happened we shouldn't talk about no we should do we should do we don't have time to talk about now we're talking about hot sauce legendary sketch

and improv group your sketches obviously you've never seen us right uh no right I don't know where I would have um but uh I mean obviously the the the ramifications of it and the the the vibrations of what you guys did have been passed on the group you just learned about uh yeah the vibrations I mean I knew you three separately did you know that we were in a group together no and then you said hey can we do the show together we haven't we haven't done a thing together for eight years I said eight years since what and then you said we were in a group called hot sauce and I said hot what hot sauce and then I think I checked out mentally after that right and you

checked out mentally after you asked this is like my father this is like where my father you know my one time I see on my father did not I was like do you I bought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at disconso gardens weird weird humbly okay here's whittles end of the story anyway here we go so you know my dad goes I so you know is you know why are you eating that he goes why are you eating that dad's really yeah my dad's really he's like um peanut butter and jelly I was like you don't like peanut butter and jelly he's like no they don't go well together I couldn't stop laughing he's like he had never thought to put them together in a lot of ways it explains the divorce it doesn't know what goes well to you know he does it children and parents

peanut butter and jelly it's crazy I don't know what you're talking about next you're going to tie your shoes with laces yeah well if you don't know who we're talking to of course we have Ben Schwartz he's in sonic the hedgehog as the titular sonic sonic 2 now sonic 2 as well just came out and did really well I've not seen it probably coming out on digital by the time this comes out I hope so because I was not invited to the premiere this time so I did not see it oh interesting oh I didn't go to the premiere this year I only see movies where I go that's the power move I was in back I was in New Orleans shooting I wish I could go it's the power move yeah that's either by me the premiere or I'm not gonna fucking see it I assume it's gonna be so you won't see it because you went to the

premiere of burnt right oh of course you went to the premiere of the first one oh of course yes was that his tv show or his movie his cooking movie you saw that he had a cooking movie and a tv show yeah he did have a tv show and a cooking movie I have there's nothing that I would make a bet right now that if you made social plans with Bradley Cooper it would involve him being like let me cook for you did you guys see burnt no oh okay did you you burn I I saw burnt yeah and was it good uh I'll talk to you about it later okay it's not exciting but you did see it I have not seen it okay we'll see it we'll watch it together I don't need to you just tell me what it's about you didn't see but didn't see it can you saw it you went to the premiere I went to the premiere give me the

quick synopsis of burnt we did not see it before it was quick real quick elevator pitch burnt well okay so there's a movie and this you know how chicken heats up yeah you're just talking about the movie I mean various ways actually I don't because it goes very fast but you know if a chicken eats if you're heating up a chicken on a frying pan you know what's the movie about on a frying pan yeah on a frying pan you're brazing it you're doing like a little chicken patty are you turning it it's a patty you know how if you leave it on too long something we haven't seen burnt just explain what happens when something he hasn't seen it huh he just knows the title that's telling you admit that you haven't seen it it's colder what happens to it gets colder it gets it gets what

it gets burnt and no no spell it ed or tea tea is that what the movie is about the movie the movie is about that whether it's burned or burnt and they can't make a choice let's play a game ed or tea okay love it go all right all right ed or tea or low tea so dreamed or dream or dream run or run it's a dream run or run run or run run or run ruins spoils or spoils do it at the fun cunt or druid druid or druid come on gill sorry what's wrong with you i'm wet are you wet yes is it wet day it's it's very damp on this seat it's damp on that scene i'm so sorry no no no i would have brought a towel for you it's not it's not no if i make it damp will you be upset start off dry when we started doing sketches at the very beginning it was

adam and i uh and then we would write a bit for gill at the very end of our sketch he would have the tag of every sketch probably because adam and i couldn't figure out how to end sketches so uh what was the one we were doing one um where so many funny ones sg well gill was shy gill was a shy gill was a shy gill was a shy in the old country gill was a little boy oh my god fucking um uh house of gucci uh jarred love the joker yes yes i'm playing the joker this way welcome to the house of juci back to man we are two sides of the same accord we are two sides would you like a summer rugala welcome to the house of a juci around the house of juci guys why if hot sauce we're still around would you have done the house of juci

absolutely sketch oh it would have been an art installation i mean it writes itself absolutely i could already see the whole thing in my head already i'm drawn to a moth like a moth to a flame anything jewish i just want to burn myself a lot burnt myself alive by it burnt b urn i do like that there's a new there's a new wave of jewish comics now that are like um really like they're like i'm going to own my judyism is um michael michael long island today what are we talking about first of all 90 percent of this is marty ishka bible oh he's so funny but this happens doesn't it when a when a group like hot sauce you know the legendary legendary hot sauce who was that were active for a period of a few a few years in the mid-2000s probably eight years when they go away when

they go away a new generation comes along and fills the vacuum does it not yes huge vacuum oh i don't mean that i mean like there's a there's a new wave of i mean that i know but i'm ignoring it thank you but i don't mean that but i don't mean that but i know but i said it so i mean it i know but i don't want to talk about let's keep moving in the house of judy in the house of judy oh in the house of judy oh we don't turn on the lights till sunday what's this under my pillow a pastrami come in house of judy my suit is a black and white cookie in the house of judy a fashion to me is a i wake up and my daughter's a sour pickle i'm in the house of a judy i name my dog a self-deprecation of course this is what hot sauce does they tag upon tag upon tag a generation diminishing returns

everyone knows it everyone in the comment that was part of your style was it not yeah in the comment you want to do our sketch group to use we would end our sketches with fades our show fades from the first sentence we slowly fade to 45 minutes in so it gets darker and darker and the sound you guys talk quieter and quieter until finally you're we have to say don't beat it like a dead horse that was cooked in its mother's milk that's what we used to say we did wow long say take a walk with me on this one folks well now you're back are there plans for the future will you be no no plans this is it shook his head hard no he lives in new york city no i think that we

are yeah i mean we plan like we plan this we all plan to get brain damage from covid in the next few years okay so we have to get lucky you have to say hey slow on go i love that god i thought you said so long coven i was so happy for you guys remember that company group sloven and cove it that's a very weird allen and coven ten people would get that allen coven is leo and cove is leo and he had coven crazy um no i've been micro dosing coven so i feel like i'm pretty strong against so you're immune now yeah that's the way to do it you've had like every version yeah i can't imagine i got a closet full of it wow you and i still have no you didn't get it you didn't get it we talked we do you remember we talked like in the like while i had coven we talked no no right when

the when it started right no right when it started we were talking and you were hacking up like a fucking long and i was like you have coven oh no i never got it same thing for me but it was apparently they said it was strep but later on i was like was i just misdiagnosed but then no the symptoms are totally different i never i never got it all of them i had the oh gee you you have the the homey crime how many times do you have it i've had it two times test positive but i think that i've had it three times in my kids bring it back from school and like all right they love it they love it they love we pack it in their lunch right well uh i mean look if the future holds nothing more than just this episode this was worth it because this is the legendary

uh the slide the slide whistle bandit is over here we all know gill is area that's what he moved on to do uh and then adam apparently was in both sonic one and two i'm hearing as the fart face senior and uh but if nothing else happens but this episode it was worth it it's so incredible to have you this is like when money python was on the tonight show together wow uh and they they they brought out terry uh uh who died first jones john i wish they brought out terry gillian's ashes that would have been amazing because he was still with us at the time but uh that's commitment to a win i think he's alive no he's he's alive right gilliam's still yeah i was like oh did i miss gilliam go oh that'd be a funny character for you gilliam gilliam oh my god gilliam it's like will it it's

like gilliam did i tell you the story when uh will i am uh gave me the finger no it's real this is a real story i was uh uh which one pinkie the pinkie uh i was i thought you meant which will i am the multiverse i was at a red light and or it was a red light and i was looking at my phone went to a green light and i was not moving because i was looking at my phone and suddenly the car behind me like and then i was just like fuck you and i didn't move and then this car pulls up next to me and it's will i am he's like fuck you just giving me the figure like will i am where is the love where is the love my god i love that scott practice what you preach oh i love i love this you got one more new will i am will thyself nice i like gilliam and bergie oh i love that then who's uh who

can you be who's the third guy i don't remember your taboo taboo taboo taboo i believe i saw taboo in a kukuru once and the people in kukuru were like what are you doing he's like still on my grind wow okay yeah must be hard to be taboo name of a new podcast for you must be hard to be taboo well guys this was this was worth it to have you guys here uh and incredible we we of course have to take a break but uh and and i know some of you have to go we'd love to plug our we'd love to plug our sketch show from ten years ago yeah how can people they can't see it anymore but and you never taped it you never uh transcribed there were some sketches that got taken off the internet we believe that the shift to video was a mistake yeah for sketch groups yeah there was

a big pivot from stage we didn't think it was gonna yeah we thought that live performance was really gonna be where we're just like getting together with a group of people yeah exactly uh but uh unfortunately you guys pivoted the video they're so great to have you i know some of you have to to leave a little later we have an old friend dropping by uh that we haven't seen in a long time plus we have uh gabriel sardinus's grandson here this is really exciting yeah i don't know who gabriel sardinus is but sardinus uh is but uh his grandson is here and uh we have to take a break ben uh you might be leaving at some point too i don't i don't quite know but maybe if you want me to we don't know it's up to you we don't know but you stick around for a second and we'll

be right back hot sauces back and now they're gone and now they're gone we'll be right back more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we're back benny schwa the elegant mr s is here with us uh the titular sonic he puts the tits in in titular for sonic uh it's a pg-13 film probably pg honestly probably pg-13 because of the titties in sonic right i mean you keep thinking that sonic has big old big old titties right like who shows their big old silver dollar pancake nipples would they be bleeding because well listen tails is a guy as well and he's not he's not showing who's who's the knuckles does knuckles show those nobody shows titties there's no titties in this movie

it's a great family movie for everybody no boners for the fam when you go see sonic too why do you think there's boners in this movie also why does no they would get boners fam wants boners yeah what boners for the fam no boners for the fam no boners for the fam no boners for the fam no titties for the fam no titties when you go see sonic too you refuse to see a film in theaters unless it's got titty tots you say yeah of course yeah i always check that and it refuses to go with other people unless there's titties for the fam that's insane there's there's gonna be titties for the entire movie you saw that had titties for the fam titties for the fam uh man ambulance yeah all black Betty ambulance oh black Betty got a man adam palli of course is here you know him

from happy endings and that you know both of these guys from that one episode of the late late show that they hosted oh my god we haven't talked about that together since it happened oh yeah since it happened yeah you guys didn't even do like a postmortem have you honestly we both were just like i hope no one ever seen that i literally and yet it's legendary people check it out i'm sure it's out there on the other i keep taking it down but yeah which kind of has made it more infamous because everybody's like can i see it and i'm like i don't know just put it out on dvd that one and they don't show certain parts of it like they don't they cut out the um oh yeah the your monologue isn't it they cut off some of my modeling they cut out when i got a tattoo they like oh yeah

just cbs put it out on on uh on whatever whatever do you think we'll get another one in the new transition i i can't amend you guys should just do that for six episodes do whatever it can't be expensive just you know it wasn't they'll give you a free studio and you guys just do that's a podcast do the exact same thing i know but you know nick Bernstein who's the he's the best amazing legend uh and has become like a tv personality now he's on air and he's got the long so he doesn't want anyone else to be on air i think he's likes it too much i think he's like i know he's the best no i think i think that we would have to go to him well adam had the best pitch when it was done all of a sudden after obviously when it aired nobody gave a fuck and then afterwards it kept

going around the internet is like you know like how you used to make like bootleg um tapes of things and pass them to your friends that's like how you'd see weird owl videos or simpson stuff yeah i believe mr show made a whole sketch that i'm in about it but did you write that uh no okay then i'll give a fuck about it whoa um and so uh it was that's on your performance thank you so much pally said you know we should have a weird haircut pally's like we should do a hanukkah special yeah and i was like oh my god that's actually brilliant because it's never really been done and it's so stupid and us hosting that would be in ten or you know adam hosting me being a sidekick and then um nick put it up the flagpole the flagpole was immediately folded and taken down

they're like we don't even have flags and put it in the coffin and no we don't want this bowl we don't want you to know where the building is i really like we did it now time has passed though now you guys could do like a six episode eight episode order of this of just you guys fucking around for a paramount plus people would love it but i would love to do would you host a talk show pally if you're like here's a talk show you do it for ten years it would be boring unless you guys did it the way you guys yeah i don't think i don't think that for boring yeah and from what i hear is one of the most boring jobs you can have no i don't think that i would be i don't i think that i'm not the right temperament for it i think you have to be like very you want to hurt the

audience uh that's what makes it that that's what made it so good because if ben were to do it he would just like be a suck up be nice like obsequious and just like conan i love your project and all conan and letterman conan and letterman certainly were able to do it but i feel like i i don't know i feel like i would be too sardonic to for the audience because the audience also it's like the charles grodman show back in the day yeah but the audience but the audience has to who cares what the audience thinks oh wow jesus christ by the way please if you're if please keep listening to this episode i know i know it's been kind of a dud so far but please don't press stop jesus christ we need the amount of the amount of insults that have been hurled in our direction in the last

two minutes direction i'm trying to get right at you yeah you're literally well there isn't am i missing no i mean you're a hundred percent killer i'm dodging them well look guys we don't we can't sit here talking about your late late show leave the guests you have on today this is incredible uh we gotta get to him uh by the way we do gotta get to him we have to get to him this is it's mandatory to get to him uh he you all know that he's gabriel sardinus's grandson do you know who gabriel sardinus i don't know no i haven't been informed of that have you heard this name i just know he has a long lineage yeah well i mean he certainly has a father who uh was the son of gabriel sardinus yes uh we know that much for sure but uh we we know that he's gabriel sardinus

his grandson please welcome gabriel sardinus's grandson hello hey what's going on hi thank you so much for having me to talk about my grandfather was that what you're here to do talk about your grandfather well i mean you know we were wondering who he was so that's oh this is great he's uh this will be very instructional to very famous guys should we google him i'll google him uh yeah you could google him um well what was if i i can't reach google he was a scientist um a physicist he uh nobile prize winner no oh that's the biggest prize you can get i mean it's not an egot but no uh poet laureate poet laureate as well poet laureate yeah he was a child educator a kid teacher wait he was an educator as a child or he educated children both he taught yeah i taught children and he uh

when he was a kid he was a teacher that's correct and how old are you sir kid um i'm uh 19 19 well you sound a lot younger you sound a lot i do yeah i sound younger yeah you do no i'm 19 well you have this almost like children you have a child like innocence yeah to you yeah are you close with your grandpa uh you know i was his caretaker for a bit but he never got um better he never got personal with me you know oh he always kept himself at a distance at a distance from me well the families are difficult yeah you know he just recently died oh i'm sorry buddy how old was he when he passed away we know nothing about gabriel sardinas by the way other than what you just it was all over the news i just google it couldn't see it that's weird um but he's uh he

was 93 he's 93 and you're you're 19 i mean that's a 73 year old difference which means that your father had no it means that he was fathering late in his life he okay so how old is your father my father is uh 42 42 that's correct okay so that's a that's so i'm more he was fifth that's too old to be a dad that's not what that's not what i was talking about scott that's not what i was talking about adam come on adam don't he's actually adam come on what i was talking about was more that you said i was sorry about it no i know but i know but what i was saying is not that well say what you're gonna say i am gonna say it i'll take umber it's just not what you're literally you're saying okay just gotta come what i was gonna say was that um well it's not shocking

for you not to have a close relationship with a man who's in his late 90s well he was well he was early he was also uh you considered 93 to be late 90s anytime you're in your 90s he was a brilliant guy you know and he was always surrounded by you know teachers and uh well like famous people honestly oh wow really like who who are we talking good friends with bill clinton um he's so much younger than i'm happy yeah but still he was good friends with a lot of states and a lot of politicians December friendship Henry Kissinger uh would always go to him Henry Kissinger and bill clinton reached across the aisle yeah and uh um just you know uh a lot of politicians a lot of politicians yeah a lot of singers um uh dianne warwick dianne warwick grippy a little bit younger yeah uh barba

Streisand every Thanksgiving we'd had famous people at our house you had barba Streisand at your Thanksgiving that's correct wow what that's the thing what did she what did she when everyone goes around the table and says what is she thankful for what did what did she question scott uh she said she was thankful for gentle for the just being friends with my grandfather she's a smart guy and the thing is i'm so very humble like deflecting all the attention off of herself but that's a bad thing oh i'm thankful for all of my grammy's and my oscar like that's what i would have said if i was well i mean when you're around my grandfather he just all the light just goes to him because he's such a brilliant guy and everyone's looking to him for advice were you ever jealous

or anything oh uh well a little bit oh um but i i i did when he died yeah he passed on some of his belongings and i was looking through his belongings oh and i come across a treasure trove i can imagine i mean exactly this man's exactly his papers his ruminations well i found his phone oh and what do you mean phone like an old timey like alexander grandbell what's in i mean you could believe it if you could believe it it was an iphone oh okay was it the first one no it was a recent generation recent generation and you have a new one uh i think it was i think it was important was it a pro it wasn't a 13 i just know that he had a this is a new this is a new one it looks like it looked like that didn't have a case on it so yeah well this is it right here he got one of the new ones right

look at that and it has like a case of 5k well you know um yeah i i didn't even know he had this phone he kept so many secrets oh wow and he got he kept so many secrets and he was such a brilliant man and the thing is i go i'm looking through his phone okay you're spending a bit i'm a little yeah what's going on a ton of voice memos from famous people no from him what do you mean he recorded a bunch of voice memos okay maybe to remind him so something that's why he bought the phone maybe he's like you know instead of a tape they don't sell taper cars anymore i can't even i can't even find a radio i don't know if this is going to ruin what you plan to do but i don't want to hear them i rather not either yeah i don't want to hear it's good it's for your grandpa yeah this is not

for public this is not the same thing but i feel like this would give us an insight oh in that case yes i do i'm sure it's really i don't you don't want to hear that we don't have i don't want to hear i don't want to hear it's an intrusion i mean first of all let me say that i i did he give you permission i swore i worry that that i would play the i worry the phone is haunted with two seconds ago he said i don't want to so i also have a grandson as well actually you're 19 i know he's when did you fall just born i fathered when i was 12 and then that's seven there's a gun to my grandson's head right now if i don't play these i don't play these voice memos he will die so it's on you i mean it's out of his head what part of his head i don't want to hear it who's holding the

gun who my my son your son is holding the gun to hear what his great grandfather had to say well so why don't you let him listen somewhere else is it why come on this show i just want to say i'm okay with a very late term abortion pali is fine pali is fine i am fine oh now is not the time pali i'm plur choice till up until 10 years old you don't want to hear them that's fine but you know i know it's okay so it would be very sad for me because i feel like if you cry real tears well that's okay here we go everybody would want to hear i would he's just have you heard them yet this is gonna be surprised this is a gift to me too so but what happens if they're negative you don't want the world to hear them they're probably they're probably just gonna be regular nice old

would it would it bum you would it bum you out if we didn't hear them because of like all the time and effort it took to find them yeah and also to set up this jam box yeah uh you know what it didn't take any time at all it's no sweat off my back sure my grandson will you know his brains will be all but it has nothing to do did your son lay down plastic or like there's a lot of clean did he think about it all right you know let's listen to silver it all we share it what was in a one okay but also if this was surprised for you tell us what it feels like to hear these i'm very excited because my grandfather was so mr sardinus was so brilliant yeah and i could play any one of these this one but you haven't heard any of them i haven't heard

any of them and you're playing them at random i'm playing them at random this one is called january 11th 2007 january and was it recorded on january 11 2007 or he titled it that god i have no idea he hasn't played it all right and here we go are you guys ready here yeah here we go january 11th 2007 i found another little bone in my duty today don't ask me how don't ask me why it scares the shit out of me too call dr. sirio ask him how this could have happened how i could have found another little bone my bm what oh god okay jesus i'm not sure what that was jesus christ weird title to put on i would

have called it bone in duty or something but he called it january 7 2000 i'm not sure i don't think you should play anymore before i play i just want to tell you a story about my grandfather i don't want to hear this story i'll hear the story instead of another one of these one time he was just on vacation in what is now what was old mesopotamia this is the guy with a bone in his duty yes and he passed what do they call it no they call it the rock the rock now okay why don't you just say he went to iraq for a vacation because it's important to the story do you think they ever say welcome to iraq to old mesopotamia well that's the thing you said you've mentioned jurassic park he was passing by a dig site welcome to iraq it's from the rock when he's

right all right well jurassic he was passing by the dig site an archaeological dig site and he said hey look down there look at those bones oh he ate the little bones and that's that's when they found the t-rex with the uh the feathers on it he's the one who did that oh he's the guy who pointed at the right spot he's a brilliant guy uh he's a brilliant guy this is what it's called fish under the couch you know but it's so interesting so he actually was titling that previous one i guess this one's called fish under the couch wait by the way before you do it are you sure you want to the first one was kind of negative weird i think there's gonna be a gem in here for a we go he's a brilliant guy refers to uh number two and such a

bm i mean it's it's a very brilliant man you said brilliant man get out from under there fucking fish under the couch get on i can't fucking lift this goddamn this goddamn couch fucking can't fucking hit it with a broom i can't fucking do any fucking sticks in here fucking reeks like fucking trout god damn it get out you fucking fish get out from under my couch oh my god why did he record that why would you want to remember that moment i have no idea but not only did he record it he then titled it what he wanted to remember it so i guess maybe because it is so odd it's like

if you had a fish under your couch you'd be like i gotta remember that i want to hear what you just want to like what mental state i was in wow that's unbelievable he was such a brilliant guy did you hear stories about that why do you think that fish was under there but that happened before he won the Nobel prize oh what did he win the Nobel prize for uh for big science oh okay he was involved in big science he wouldn't yeah i didn't really he must have won that Nobel prize pretty late in life yeah i mean this one's called if his voice memos are after yeah i mean that makes no sense but this one's called what is this one called but this one's called yeah what's called you're playing another one i really don't want to hear it anymore i don't think we didn't

hear it anymore how many are there there's there's a hundred all right i'll hear a hundred all right well this one is called i'm not sure what this is but this one's called sounds of me eating grape tomato that you say you don't know what it is you know what i think we should give this one i know i don't want to hear well wait maybe the title is at like yeah maybe it's just leave maybe it's a red hair anger well from history of the other ones they seem to be exactly oh let's see our history of eating grape tomatoes no the sounds of sounds of yeah it's that it's what wait wait what do we wait you haven't heard this yeah what are you saying wait if you don't know what's going let's get out

really wants people to hear the pop he's so crazy about the auditorium this is like asmr but pre-dating it that's incredible that's crazy wow what are the dates what are the dates on this one is uh 601 in the morning july 4th what year what year uh 2014 you know it's post whenever that iphone so he's in his 80s at this time do you want to hear best meal i've ever eaten big reminder or description of my broken penis big reminder

big reminder and then end with the program by the way, he's porting these over from previous iphone model i mean by the way i want to tell you a little story okay one time he invented the cloud uh he helped he helped al gore invent the internet actually and he um he once saved an old woman who had fallen in the street and uh he got the uh um the mark twain award for that play the broken what'd you say he got the mark twain comedic excellence award for helping an old lady did he do it in a real funny way i'm not sure but this one's called best meal i've ever eaten

the best meal the best meal hands down is eggs onions with just a little bit of chocolate hand down that's meal oh okay okay great i'm not they're not i don't know i mean all this one's called big reminder that's what i want to remember to steal your daughter-in-law's underwear and

shove them up your fucking ass i didn't know my grandfather and i obviously had some you know i mean can you imagine forgetting that was a thought seeing the reminder clicking it and going oh right oh she almost left without doing that well it seems like you can't get any worse than that well this is description of what about this broken penis this is a description of my broken penis for dr civio

i have a very bulbous tip it's almost like a fat pillow i'm always erect non-stop 24-7 but my penis is pointed right down to the ground like an arrow uh it's purple very purple it's violet at the tip i should say and the base is more of a gleaming red uh my penis is pulsating different times it's pulsating at different rates uh there's um probably really it was hard obviously the back of my penis is very white and it's going up and down my shaft um but here's the thing it looks like there's three or four little bugs

that can be seen inside it and they're using the vein some sort of elevator i'm not sure as dr civio about the bugs how's the doctor for the doctor is like a wide breath he does he's more than just an e n seems like a family doctor it seems like it now here's one that i i don't even know what i don't know what it means this just says far far f a r okay here we go yeah it's a long one oh god i'm good short title all right hold on this is far this is far far and had to remind himself that he farted along with

okay how would he how much how much longer is 35 more seconds it's amazing five more amazing that he had the foresight at the time to actually pick up his phone and to be like this one's going to be enormous yeah oh man oh still going wow how many more seconds we got 25 25 more i'll stop it there that's oh my wow so what do you think about your grandfather now that you've heard all these things uh does he feel like a genius to you still feels like he still feels like a genius are you sure he want to steal his granddaughter's underwear and sticking up his own ass by the way i gotta say none of us have ever heard of this guy no are you sure that he did all these things he was brilliant it was a real no no i was told i was at the kennedy center honors for him and he got a

mark twain ward and a kennedy center he did um obama gave it to him and so you and you saw it was obama yes and he where was this at he uh this was in new york that's right okay at the part of new york uh do you know where the m&m store is uh yeah square yeah not near there okay so okay this is called funny jewish there's more i think my grandfather was jewish are you sure you want to keep doing this how to do you i didn't want to start funny jewish new i don't know buddy i'm sorry i'm so sorry you have to hear this about your grandfather he's this is he's not the genius you thought he was he's like a big dummy a very pureile sense of

humor i mean he does sound like that i think all of these voicemails have the same value oh oh that's interesting which value is that nothing nothing no it's absolutely not true it feels like i mean just to know about my grandfather's look he's he's a brilliant guy and looking into his his life i don't think he could be pranking you no from beyond the grave like why would he he left the phone for you this one says usual starbucks order do me a favor honey let me get one hot latte but put a ton of ice in it and do me a favor just do me a goddamn favor and stir it stir it with your fucking finger please stir that goddamn latte with your finger will you do that and don't wash it you don't think that he's

i don't know he's messing with you from the greats this feels like it feels like something he just recorded like well earlier this morning oh no he has some he has some a folder called great songs i made up would you like to hear that all right i would love to hear one of those but it seems like we've done a lot of this diggy dumb drop what does it go now diggy dumb drop shit what that is okay but my grandfather by the way i have to tell you this story about yes he once saved a cat uh that was throwing up um wow they tell you to do that it was choking on a big stick and this one's loading right now so let's wait did he get an award for that it seems like he keeps getting these honors yeah i think that's why he's like the stick association gorgeous

squirrel is and then fucking the other second you look at it ben i i i love how you've become a bit of like a doctor do little yeah what animal do you want me to bring i can summon any animal you wish honestly i'd like to talk to like a bird okay here's a bird right here go wait up up here talk to this bird right hey big tongue to bird big tonguey bird hey okay all right it's good okay diggy dumb drop yeah diggy diggy dumb drop oh diggy diggy dumb drop yeah diggy diggy dumb drop i think we're done with your grandfather what do you guys think about that one i think that's it i think that's a wrap i want to hear that i want to hear that one again this one's called this one's called made pee pee okay i want to hear these clean so we can put them in remixes

oh what that's it oh no did that cut short it'd be a real you're mouthing the lyrics a lot you've never heard this so far and you're not proud of it you're not proud of it lend it was a beautiful pee pee my grandfather was a genius i love that Gabriel Sardinia's his mouth and he was just silently saying pee pee can i ask you a question about the lyrics in that his name isn't Gabe though by the way what is your name you haven't said your name yet it's it's Irving oh i assumed that he was a junior like from seven no just a grandson Irving Sardinia and this is actually i've heard of this song this one's called Sparkolonia

Sparkolonia i really do have a question about the lyrics needed you Sparkolonia's wanted you Sparkolonia's asked for you Sparkolonia's demanded you Sparkolonia's begged for you Sparkolonia's screamed for you i think we got it Sparkolonia's wants you to love my love you're mouthing the words not true i don't Sparkolonia's you just said one second ago this one is great Sparkolonia's called for you well that was Sparkolonia's i mean this is not that far off from an Andrew Lloyd Webber song so i think the craft is going through by the way going back to the pee pee song nope that's smart

let's go back to the pee pee why would if you could get into the mind of your grandfather maybe while he was writing the song why would he care if it was too thick the stream of no no i mean it all goes to the same place thick or thin i think he's trying probably to impress but but wouldn't it be impressive to have thick i think right but but he says in the song not too thick uh well he was self-sabotaging a lot of times and i think that's why he left this description of a young neighbor with red hair gorgeous red hair just so beautiful well goes right from the head down down to the tophus oh is a jewish guy do you think some of that gorgeous red hair curls up at the end when she's nude curls right up into the door

yeah it's a fucking creep why would i think it does i think i think that red hair curls it tickles the tush tickles the little asshole oh come on jesus that's what i want to know all right i don't all right look i like sparkolonia so i'll give him a sparkolonia there's a whole weather folder called mediocre songs i made up let's hear one let's hear one that was the cream of the crop are we what do you i'll give you the choices you tell me which one and big because we have to go to a break this is the last one pick your favorite one i gotta tell you i i knew we should not have listened to any of this that is true adam pleaded pick pick pick pick your favorite thing that i know you haven't heard any of these even though you're mouthing along with them i mean

they're all they're all terrible there's also more descriptions of my broken penis oh no wait what is this one i mean what's this one this one i i fucking hate my grandson i i hate him i hate his fucking face i hate the way he speaks i i he smells like absolute fucking shit he's a turd he's a fucking turd oh no he'll never be a mount he'll never be anything he'll never amount to anything he's a shit i wish he would just die i wish he would die i wish a fucking car would run over his head wow i'm sorry oh and over and over again so i could see his brain splurge out of his fucking eye sockets and then you know what i do i'd fucking eat them like oysters fuck him fuck my grandson he sucks he's an awful awful okay i can't oh my god uh i'm so sorry

Irving this is horrible maybe play one of the mediocre songs to wash that out i mean there's one there's one more after and one more this is the very last thing he recorded before he passed away i gotta say i don't care if this last one ties up any loose ends i don't you don't want to hear it march 15th 2007 i found another little bone in my duty today okay don't forget to call dr civio and ask him about it because right fuck there's been several bones in my duty every time i IBM really thought it was gonna wrap up this story like right i mean it's got full circle and i'm not talking to some small chicken bone in my duty i'm talking about a ball and socket joint joint can you find in your shoulder or your kneecap that's too big let's stop finding these

bones in my duty gotta stop okay i thought that i thought maybe there'd be one where he said no i was just kidding about hating my grandson no just just bringing the bone in the duty back right well Irving all these tomatoes they fall away okay look we we have to go to a break if that's all right right but look Irving stick around i know this is a depressing time for you but stick around no i'm fine we have an old friend coming on the show and uh that's exciting too exciting this is it we haven't seen him uh since hot sauce was around wow at least wow so this is exciting when we come back we'll have more from Ben Schwartz over here more from Gabriel Sandinus's grandson Irving and we'll have our good friend bro we'll be here we'll be right back with

more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we're back here with Ben Schwartz uh of the after party of course if you haven't seen the after party check that out on apple apple apple tv plus apple what chris mill apple tv plus chris miller directed it and uh show around it then we have sam richardson iparenholz jimmy demetru Dave franco tiffani haddish john early um alana glazer zoey chow come on what else great great show we got it it's a good show uh check it out i enjoyed it uh and uh you could too we also have Irving uh over here Irving Sardinus in tears by the way he's been composing himself a little bit but uh you really broke down during the break well it really hurts when your grandfather thinks nothing of you especially because he was such a

great man yeah i don't know if he was a great man i mean he doesn't seem like a great man to be a just tease i don't know he was just yeah i don't want to get back into this yeah we've moved on past this okay because we have we have an old friend here we've seen neither hide nor air of him for almost a decade at this point wow Jesus but uh he used to come around the studios all the time uh he is of course uh our weed dealer please welcome back to the show bro hey hey bro what's uh what's up bro long time no see i know where have you been my man um well my man i've been i've been uh i haven't had anything well i've been in the couch the uh what does that mean in the couch the uh weed market the illegal weed market has kind of taken a turn for the worst as legalization

yeah it almost seems like there's no need for guys like you anymore and there isn't i am uh what's the word um outdated reference yeah yeah you're yeah you're making money then well i uh i got a job naming strains of i mean you were always really good at that i mean some of the strains that you had brought around the old studios uh back in the day though your first episode was with andy sandberg right were you his dealer or mine i can't remember i i well i started out as yours and then got and then moved over oh wow you're probably riding pretty for a bit yeah but some of the ones that you brought some of the names that you had for previous strains were so funny people love those yeah so this is sort of uh by the way this is Irving i don't know if you know Irving

hey i'm big fan of your grandfather uh you've heard of it of course yeah were you with the kenny center on this no i i saw him accept his uh his n double acp award oh wow he got that some terrible stuff today so no yeah the sardine what was it sardine sardinous yeah no i'm sorry his song what was it the one i like scat scat scatero no why are you looking down on your phone you were melding it earlier i don't uh spark alone is actually alone is oh man yeah we heard spark alone is that everything kind of took a turn for the worst well i'm sorry i'm sorry for your loss yeah maybe you could use some pot to cheer you up well that's kind of why i'm here i've hit a bit of a rider's block no no bro what were some of your previous strains do you remember

any of well like my most popular selling stream was um pineapple express 2 was was like sold through the roof yeah for the movie i mean that's a canny business move definitely i don't know whether that's the most creative name you ever came up yeah but it was a huge deal anyway meryl meryl Streep's pussy was an enormous winner for me does it smoke like why why would you call it that because it has a lot of range that's good yeah i remember a lot of your strains were very heady highs heady highs i focused on heady highs mostly stuff that i'll put you in the couch sure anyway you in the couch yourself you said earlier for the last eight years yeah i come to you now begging and pleading okay what what can we do for you bro you're our you're one of our old

friends you have an audience now you have all the fans listening look we've been around for 13 years i swear that you've been here for for 12 of those i got a job working for a new company called med woman okay and it's a female run it's a female run weed dispensary brand great and they are different to have women be in charge i mean uh for me all right bro for me for the better though yeah well you know i don't we haven't talked in eight years but since i moved to up to the pacific northwest oh is that why we haven't talked to oh yeah i just uh pretty close to where we are now you know there's a lot of stuff that i've learned about the way this country works okay meaning like three branches of government more like one branch of powerful jews oh my god anyway anyway i don't know bro you

always were a very lighthearted yeah a guy would come out yeah i mean have you gone down the rabbit hole of uh of truth this is what they would say about uh my grandfather it seems like you have a song ready to go if you want to press play just take your time it seems like you've been flipping through that yeah i mean yeah this might be appropriate it's called whoa man that's that's uh you need that speaker you have to put the speaker up to the mic though i remember god and it's also got a load cool job it's got a load okay bro keep going is that a jaw bone this is an all of you oh cool wow okay anyway i uh i've been tasked with something and i'm late to and i'm under deadline i'm under deadline and i came here today knowing that you guys are so

funny and so smart whatever we can do to make us straight so if you could help me out it's not too much sure i need a hundred and fifty different names whoa wow right now right now spark alone is comes to mind first one i love that let me put that in my phone yeah do you have any voice memos yeah i do hold on spark alone these demands of you are you ready has it finally loaded still going it's still going urban if you do that you are going to be doing this you think you're gonna oh here comes whoa man man you don't know how far we've come you stopped yourself man you don't know alphar we've come said whoa man you don't know how far we've come oh whoa man you don't know how far we've come said whoa man you don't know how far we've come

bro so he wanted to write so I don't think they're gonna like that I don't think they're gonna like that so that's the only one right now it's a good one that's a good one that's not bad yeah okay yeah I am what's the theme is there a theme that we should be working on that's the thing it can really be it can really be whatever I can only explain to you the high of each strain right okay the feeling you'll get okay so we can give you names and you'll tell us what the high is yes okay uh emily blunts it's like a heady hi yeah okay you have one scott if you have any names strands uh calling the pot kettle black what calling the kettle now what is that phrase the pot calling is this all the title still are you writing this down the stammer's and everything

oh we're at the stammer's that's a good the stammer's that's definitely a heady hi are they all gonna be heady highs no okay I'm gonna put you in the cow swimming pool that's a heady hi right of course but some will put you in the broken umbrella the more of a heady by the way Ben is not just looking around the backyard naming stuff because I have a full swimming pool and a full swimming pool oh now he is that's that'll put you in the couch with a bit of a heady high that's a heady high though yeah with a bit of a heady okay but I you know I can't so I'll give you some guidelines now okay yeah I don't know if this makes it harder and we're difficult I can't do any celebrity names oh so I mean Emily Bluntz is not gonna worry yeah what about like puns on the

names I can't tell you what happened did you get sued for this just while Mel Streep's pussy was a big problem yeah I thought that was gonna but that's not even a pun that's just yeah it's just funny because you don't think about that right yeah she's so like Robert Dube vault no puns with no celebrities like you can't do any you can't mention what about dead celebrities like John Wilkes Blunt that's good I don't think it's gonna work okay no select what about like D-level but he was a traitor to America he shot Abraham Lake yeah what about no one I know I get the irony but I just don't think they're gonna go for it what about like okay that's interesting all right so what should we do I give you my name a sweet sardinas would you like to name you I like sweet

sardinas that's three I have three so far we I need 147 more we'll keep going but three like a dog can't do animals can't do any animals animals you're really restricted I know it's a box but when I took the job I said I'd like to work what about like animated characters what are you like the Pixar Simpsons you can do animated characters okay they can't be for kids and they can't be like what about Tom or Jerry no it can't be any kind of like an old man who died in up that's closer to it but I do anything related to ways a woman related to we absolutely not they said it specifically no weed no they want it to be as far away from that really okay no colors you can't mention colors okay so you can't say like blue man group tubes no absolutely not oh you can't

even uh it can only be one word what about what about one word one word one word what about names of celebrities before they change their name to become the celebrity like Robert Zimmerman or Gordon Sumner it can't be proper now what about plates I you know I was in that area a little bit and I and I was like what about plates I actually said what about silverware right and they were like no nothing we use so you have to guess the single word you can't use it there's only one word you can use they won't tell you what it is I don't know look it's I wish I could be more specific it's like a number it's about two no no no no numerical value really what about Roman numerals like even that what about imaginary numbers like negative four no letters and you're gonna have a

hard time I mean negative four check this out this is what really put me in the couch god it's hard you can't even do sounds no sound really so nothing that can be a symbol like a word what about a symbol like could you do a song wait play a song I don't know what this one's called okay this one's called Betty Crocker Betty Crocker Mary Duncan Hines Betty Crocker Mary Duncan Hines oh they had a little baby named Sarah Lee can you believe that baby was 53 oh I like I can't use percussion can't use any percussion no perk at the guy I like that song wait was that mediocre song that definitely was good that was in great song I wouldn't call that mediocre that was a great song yeah oh wow I love it it's my grandpa he should have a job right it was 53

should have a job writing the hooks for for like hip-hop tunes or something because these are good songs yeah but we can't use so they're not good weed names well he's dead now songs he's dead now well your grandfather still I can't it's gotta be one word it's not my company I'm just worried about right that's what I said he can't use no sounds I even I was like what about a sound that means something a picture of a mime like it's because it's like yeah that it's doubling down in this time I don't think so because someone would refer to that as a picture of a mind yeah what about emojis what about the this emoji where the tongue is kind of I was in this American emoji yeah this American emoji yeah it's a podcast that's got an acronym yeah let me

let me fly that one up to change this yeah it doesn't rhyme with life I have four I think sparkle onious okay sparkle and it's a word is gold okay gill gill I am is gold right but that's also a pun on a name pineapple express three I'm gonna throw in there because two is such a huge win for me right why don't you just call them pineapple express three four five all the way down the line yeah all right maybe I could just pitch 147 pineapple that's what final that's what I'm fast and furious does there I'm fine a fantasy XI or something you're right oh all right maybe that's a roman numeral I'm gonna text that song that's kind of mediocre that kind of sums up this experience yeah it's called quick it's my grandpa by the way my grandpa just okay oh I'm very quick

man very quick man I'm very quick man very very quick I'm very quick man very quick man I'm very quick man very very quick if you who see me hop in the shower you'll know that I'll be out within the hour it's quick one hour of work and then I'll be dry and I'll hop out of the shower feeling very spry I'm very quick man very quick man for 10 minutes I'm not gonna play that sorry but bro we save I just is that the tune to chitty chitty bang bang very close super close too close right chitty chitty bang bang is good yeah that's not bad but that's a proper amount hitty hitty hitty hitty bang bang you guys have been great thank you so much no problem bro you're great but anything with a bang bang in it I'm gonna sue so unfortunately oh that's true yeah you're

bang bang in your mouth yeah so well bro thank you so much for stopping by thank you I mean I know you were in a jam I was gonna do with the money now from all the stuff that you said you've been in your cat you're gonna be off well I have a couple lawyer fees from an incident that was involved in on January 6th that I got oh this year was it when does it have anything to do with last year yeah very different okay so it's politically based it's politically driven discourse discourse civil discourse yeah I've been charged bro I'm gonna ask you never to come back is that alright you can have unless you rewire your brain somehow to to uh you've gone down the rabbit hole can you tell us what that word is going to be when you find it out of course very curious 100

percent watch it yeah will you call us separately yeah at home no problem during dinner is fine because you know we eat it all various times a day yeah I'll be able to what are we talking about now what is this you would say that there's one word that you're allowed to call the weed names but I know that I was meant more the last 30 seconds oh you just forget yeah you're finally catching up yeah okay you're really in the couch uh but it's very heavy yeah I noticed it seems like a heady high yeah okay well guys we're running out of time uh and uh unfortunately we only have time for one final feature on the show would you believe that which one uh well it's a little feature a little something that we call plugs uh your ears all plug your nose all plug your

butt please plug your shows please plug your podcast plug your band plug up that bag with both your hands ignore the body that's inside that's just where Jesse likes to hide and one more thing before I go this is where I will say oh no because it's been one week to talk to me caught your head to the side and said I'm angry five days since you laughed at me and said get that together come back and see me thank you buds for the hang this is ghost factory same I'm glad that you all came to comedy bang bang all right did you hear that oh no reference oh no that was ghost factory with ghost factory cbb plug song featuring ghost factory thanks so much to ghost factory for that and uh you did your the theme song the opening theme song that's Reggie Watts he's here every week doing it

yes and then he leaves and did you you weren't here for it bro but uh it's great uh yeah I mean he was back there during the old days you might have seen him on one of the previous shows many times and then the live shows yeah he's always there for the live shows then he flies in I didn't realize he was affiliated yeah he is affiliated I didn't realize you didn't realize oh oh yeah he's on the poster for a while too didn't sell it I think you're in the couch a bit you are so in the couch at this point all right a little heady high though what are we plugging back belt surprise one belt to the left my baby one belt to the right my darling one belt to the front my baby three open up your eyes three belt surprise three belt surprise three belt surprise

that's gotta be in mediocre songs that was in mediocre yeah all right Ben what are you plugging what do you got here what do you like to play we're in may right now right yeah obviously um let's let's we're in June the after party on apple tv plus please watch that I'm very very proud of that and then Sonic the Hedgehog 2 might be coming out on digital or is already out maybe depending on well I mean it's got a 45 day theatrical window right I don't know I don't know how long they let a movie like that stay out I believe it's a 40 it's around 45 and uh what was it uh when did it come out it came out uh the eighth or something yeah April 8th so what do we got April 8th it's only 14 21 28 let's assume that it's about to come out or it's out right now 42 oh yeah it's it'll be

check out sonic 2 and then please check out the after party on apple tv plus very very proud to be a part of it and they're already on digital baby after party in sonic 2 I know you can just stream ones and zeros maybe right into your head I'm the matrix yeah all right that's it but thank you very much bro you got anything oh wait I've been sports and friends there's tours we're doing DC boston and I think Chicago and then we haven't announced yet but I think uh Toronto I don't know if a lot of what month I don't know go to rejectedjokes.com and it's okay fantastic bro what do you want to plug uh sonic the hedgehog to why bro is great in it big fan of the cop far face but I thought a cab yeah no no no a cab uh actually I I now support the police actually

you don't support I do you're a thin blue line I'm a thin blue line guy yeah we you've you're you're definitely a different guy than you totally yeah well I'm the same guy the same guy mind is opened okay all right fully woke I'm awake so that's all you have to wait but this is what it means to be woke is what I am wow hmm uh I'd like to plug that and then um a show coming out on true tv call 101 places to party before you die which looks fucking so i'm july 14th july 14th starting um john gabris okay he's a long island comedian he's a long island comedian yeah he's a long island medium too really which is a double xl whooping what do you want to plug do you want to plug any of these uh songs that you're I

guess I'll plug this this is my grandfather's description is a description for my uh a broken penis for dr cvo this is the third one this is number two we heard number two what can I say it's hard as hell it's a fucking rock it's like drywall crumbles apart when I touch it crumbles it's so hard my balls are very very sensitive and the pubic hair has fallen completely off I have a bald penis I look like a baby I don't know what to do tell dr civio that the hole has closed up completely gotta tell dr civio this looks like an ass cheek now my fucking head is also throbbing my head is throbbing with the with the whole sona feels like I have a headache in my penis um other than that how can you be mouthing this as well I don't know he mouts everything

Irving his entire career he had the same rhythmic bop as when the songs were playing anything else to plug or is that it that's it that's it all right I want to plug uh hey guys tickets for the CBB tour uh we're gonna be out there all of august we're coming out there starting august first in minneapolis ending up august 28th in toronto and what are the cities madison chicago st louis san antonio austin houston san francisco portland vancouver seattle los angeles atlanta charlotte when are you doing chicago chicago is august three god if we're in the same city one time we must play with each other yes well that will stagger the shows so you can see both of them on the same night uh so uh go head over to CBB world.com uh there's a tour page where you can get

links to all the tickets uh also go to CBBworld.com for all of your entertainment needs with the the archives of this show as well as uh past live episodes and uh ad-free episodes as well as all of our CBB presents and everything having to do with that if you subscribe for one year you get two months free all right let's close up the old plug bag. Oh Otis running bad. take one hand put it up a little pitchy take the other put it down you're gonna make a box it's time to start to close it but don't close it too much or you open up the plug bag oh no we're opening up that plug bag oh no and when you open up that plug bag you open up your heart for the rest of the world oh no oh no oh no open up that plug bag oh no

oh no oh no open up that plug bag the ono era continues oh wow wow god have you heard any of the uh remixes or Irving maybe you would have been interested in I heard one I heard one there have been some really good ones can you play a really good one I don't have any of them on this computer here in the backyard era but uh that was a burn sweep with closing up the bag of the plugs I really like that yeah you like that very chill bro did that put you back in the couch or it did well it was giving me yeah it had Q vibes Q vibes like Q and on now I feel like you don't know anything about this stuff and you're just meditating it just sound cool I'm fringe I'm on the fringe I'm on the TV show that's not a thing

what's something you believe that the earth is flat that's not that's not what Q never mind all right you're you're just doing this to seem cool no I'm not for do I need to seem cool I'm a weed dealer yes it's a good point I don't need to seem cool good point well guys I want to thank you so much Ben always great to see you this will be my last one I think really needed you oh you know what I did forget to plug something what's that JFK junior will be coming back to Dallas all right we'll see we'll go out on sparkle only as we'll see you next time thanks bye sparkle only a screen for you oh sparkle only as once you my love here once you my love it's so different than the way it talks

it's so different the way you sparkle only as called for you sparkle only as yelled for you I can't imagine him recording next to his wife needed you sparkle only as demanded daddy oh my hand is stuck you have a kid and his kid has a kid who's clapping but I'm crapping for my grandfather I'm crapping for my grandfather because wow look it's got ready for the end I'm so close to pressing stop right now press it take up my grandfather's body was it worth it