Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Best of 2022 Part 2

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

Scott and Paul F. Tompkins put the Part 2 in 2022 as they continue the Best of Comedy Bang! Bang! 2022 countdown. On this episode, Scott and Paul talk about babies before counting down your choices for episodes twelve through nine. Tune in Monday for Part 3!

Grandavais Comet de Bang Pang Committee Bang Bang Part Two Part Two Can you believe it? That's right, it's Comet de Bang Bang Best of 2022

We're putting the Part Two in 2022 Scott, a lot of people said that after Part One We would just call it a day We wouldn't have the nerve to show our faces again That's true But here we are Here we are showing our podcast faces

We're a bitch, we're a bitch, and the bitch is back Showing our faces for podcasting Yeah, get over it Get over it, we have ugly faces, who cares? Sorry, we're ugly We're uggos Yeah, ugly people can be successful Yeah, deal with it

Maybe we will too One of these days Welcome, welcome, welcome to Best of Comedy Bang Bang 2022 Part Two My name is Scott Ackerman and I am joined As ever Since the early days of Comedy Bang Bang

With my compadre My compatriot Paul F. Tompkins is here Hi, Scott, do you consider me One of those Here since the beginning People? I think so, yeah

You said that about Jason Manzucas earlier I was like, I wonder if Scott thinks I've been here since the beginning I think you probably predated Jason I think anyone who was on Delicious For those of you who are recent listeners This show started in a radio station Can you believe it?

I think anyone And that was a year, the first year I think anyone who was on it that first year Who came into the radio station I consider that to be from the beginning That's the beginning Yes, anyone who was on after that Fucking newbies

Lauren Lapkus, who's been doing it I found the other day, I think ten years I still think of her as new Still think of her as one of the newbies I hope she'll be able to do some episodes again soon I know, I mean obviously Having her baby What a wonderful say

Has kept her, what? No, forget it What did you say? What did you want to say and what did you say? I wanted to say, what a wonderful way to say What a wonderful say to say That's right To say it away

And I've ruined it I'm sorry, Paul And now it's like, who am I? I want one, but I don't deserve it Well, let me find someone to give you one Yeah, find somebody who's worse than me The weird earwulf that can give Paul a hug You know what? Can I say, speaking of hugs

And this is how I got here Yep I follow an Instagram account called Ahinda Woo 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,680 And it's this woman in South Korea I don't exactly know what she does for a living She might be famous, I don't know

She could be Instagram influence Maybe, but she has, the account is mainly Her two little kids who are fucking They're off the charts cute, right? By the way, I saw Devin leave the control room I think he's coming to give you a hug No, he's still in there Oh, okay

Their names are Ahin and Raiu Her children Oh, that was Kimmy She's here too, I don't know what you're talking about No, she just resisted, I saw her leaving No, she's been here the whole time, clearly Wait, is she here right now? Yeah, it's just giving her the freedom

So these kids are very adorable And last night And so, shout out to Brothi Gupta, a hilarious comedy writer She and I are big fans of babies We will share Instagram You hate them when they get how old? I think four is the cutoff

Yeah, four and up, fuck that Get out of my face So we share posts of cute babies with each other On a daily basis And we're both big fans of this account Last night I had a dream that I was babysitting The younger baby, Raiu

Wow And it was a fucking great dream Like in the dream, I was like Oh my god, it's Raiu from Instagram And he was just as delightful in person Now, did you have to do all the shitty things about babysitting? In my dream? No, my dream was just friends He was giggling, I was making him laugh, it was great

Yeah, when you babysit for me It's not going to be like that Oh, well, I got news for you It will be Oh, okay You're not going to feed her No, no, no, take care of all that before I get there Okay

Make sure she's got all the shit and piss out All the throw-ups Is here at Circumstance where you You would feel okay You babysitting? When he babysitting No Absolutely not

Never I would be, I'd be so scared I'd be so scared No, I think you'd be great at it I just, I can't imagine you wanting to do it That's why I don't think I would ever think of you I mean, when a baby is a lump, it's easy It's easier

You know what I mean? Maybe Well, because there's like, they just like sleep Or they cry Yeah And you're dealing with those things No, the first two weeks I found to be very overwhelming And I didn't realize those were the easy weeks

We babysat once, Jenny and I, four friends of hers And essentially, they had a God, how old was the older one? He was like 18 Four or five, something like that He was four feet five? Yeah

Wow Yeah, he was probably And he was 18 years old 18 years old, yeah And I was like, dude, I gotta tell you, this is as tall as you get Sorry And they had a newborn And the newborn, they were just going to go out

They just wanted to go out and have dinner They just wanted to go out That's all they wanted to do To Mexico For a few days Never come back And so now we have these two kids But so the baby just slept

The more challenging thing was I'm realizing something Go ahead Your baby's awake No, I'm looking at that guy Oh, yes, of course We'll do that at the end And the more challenging thing was

The older child who We had to like keep entertained And interact with In a way that it's like Oh, this is a true glimpse into parenting Where a little kid A little kid is bugging you Just talks about shit that you don't care about

And you have to be invested in But somehow you do care about it If they're your own kid But if you're babysitting You care about it more, yeah It may be more Yeah, yeah, yeah Maybe like one percent more

But it's the It was the repetition of things Oh, my goodness So I was like asking the same question Over and over again Having to Sounds like Watch me do this thing

Too true, mole friend Too true Mole friend Say why We are doing the best of comedy bang bang And hopefully you've heard episode one What's going on on your watch Sometimes my watch is like

I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you said And I'm like, I'm not fucking talking to you Bitch Stop eavesdropping on me Although it has to in order to Because what's the word that triggered it But I don't have Siri set up on the watch I don't have like a hey Siri thing

You know what I mean? That hasn't triggered mine either Good, I don't think I have it set up either I would never use it I'm not sure I understand Yeah, you know why you don't understand? Because I wasn't fucking talking to you You know what you don't understand

Is how to mind your own fucking business Tell you what, dildo Don't jump into a conversation late Dildo Calling your watch a dildo Calling your dildo a what? That was like, I feel like when I was in In senior high school

That was a big burn To call somebody a dildo It's not a bad insult because it's not I don't think it's offensive to any Group of people No, it's not, but it's also like But it implies that someone who Uses a dildo is to be shamed

Exactly Dildos are fun But it implies you are a dildo You're like the kind of thing that gives people Pleasure Thank you Thank you I suppose

This is the best of 2022 Hopefully you've heard part one Which came out on Monday This is part two On this episode We are going to be counting down your Choices For episodes

12 3 9 We said we were going to do it And now we're doing it We're going to crack the top 10 on this episode See the TT Yeah, incredible

Paul, are you excited? Scott, I have never been this Excited in my life You're bouncing off the walls I can barely contain myself Incredible I'm biting my own hand So that I don't go nuts

Paul, you You hoped to be in at least one episode You were in three the last episode Dang Yeah, pretty good We'll see how you do For the rest of the countdown But

Are you ready to do it? We're going to be hearing clips from these Great comedy bang bang episodes Again, if you have If this for some weird reasons Is the first episode you're ever hearing We are Best of part two

Best of part there Yeah But the format of the show is I'm the host My name's Scott Augerman And we have great comedians Like Paul I'm the guest

My name's Paula Tompkins We have great comedians Like Paul F. Tompkins And we have great fake people A.K.A. characters And we're going to be hearing clips From these episodes And talking about the

Behind the scenes aspects of them So let's do it Paul, if you're ready Let us get into the very first clip Of this part two episode This is your choice for episode Number 12 I'm not ready

Number one, two Alright, you did say If I'm ready And then you just We just played the clip Sorry I wasn't ready Sorry

Now I have the bends Oh, no Yes, Raptors of the Deep Alright, Paul This is Episode 735 Okay Okay, so we're in the

Still in the early Approaching mid-700s Yeah Yeah, we are Yeah Yeah This is from November 29, 2021 And this is the

earliest episode eligible This is right after Thanksgiving Yes, this is the week after Thanksgiving of 2021 This is the first episode Eligible The previous best of We heard the final episode

Eligible Interesting Interesting, isn't it? Is it? I'm not sure Yeah This is an episode Entitled

The Calvin's Triplets Versus the Baxter Triplets Oh, boy Oh, boy This is going to be silly That's true Okay, so let's talk about The Calvin's Triplets

Yeah The Calvin's Triplets Started as the Calvin's twins And this must be Eight, nine years or so ago Must be Taryn Killam from And Paul Britton

Who were on Saturday Night Live At the time Or maybe Paul had left already I'm not sure And Taryn was still on it I think Paul had left already Paul had left already Yes

But they're both They both met on Saturday Night Live Taryn was going to do the show And said, hey, can I do it with Paul? I love Paul And I think I had never met Paul before I'm not sure But they both came in

And the way that episode worked is They had not planned anything out And they looked at each other And said, what do you want to do? And Taryn said, I had an idea For maybe like Horse trainers And Paul said, okay, let's do it

And that was all And it turned into a classic app Called the Calvin's Twins Absolutely Really, really funny episode where And all of it was just Come up within the moment by those guys Where they run a farm

Where they have horse fighting bouts Yes, horse boxing Horse boxing, yes The horses box each other to the death And we've done several more episodes Since then where the lore of this Expanded where they also I believe it's a honey bee farm

They also Yeah They also make Paul, by the way, is doing Setting up something On the other side of the room And is forcing me to talk But that's good

Because I have a lot of information And grabbing the mic occasionally But they Oh, they make bee taffy That's right, they make taffy And October is their taffy-making season When they binge every episode Of The Walking Dead

And then make all the taffy So we've done several episodes with them And then at one point Taryn and Paul said, hey, what if Ryan Gall Who's another really funny comedian And improviser that they knew And that I knew Who was on a show called

Bajillion Dollar Properties with Paul He's one of the regulars with Paul That was number one on the call sheet You were number one And he was probably seven or so I think so They said, hey, can he come on And do the show with us

And so he played a long-lost twin of theirs Or a long-lost brother And it turned into the triplets So the Calvin's triplets They've done several episodes with us And they're always really funny And on the previous episode to this We mentioned the Baxter triplets

Now the Baxter triplets were three women triplets Who were their arch nemeses And we just mentioned them And I said, oh, we got to talk to them On a future episode I thought that we were going to bring in Three other people to do it But they decided to play them all themselves as well

So... Keeping that glass ceiling firmly in place So you're going to hear Taryn, Paul, and Ryan Playing two characters a piece on these clips And one thing to note is in the first act Which we're not going to hear We totally forgot the name of the triplets And so we took a guess as...

Of the Baxter triplets Yeah, we took a guess as to what they were And we were wrong And we looked it up in the break And found out we were wrong So they changed names on this clip That's what we're going to hear This is your choice for episode number 12

Number one, two But I guess what I mean to ask you about is In the news these days A lot of people, and I believe a fellow podcaster Was amongst them Have been taking a certain cure or remedy Some people call it quackery Or snake oil

We just call it science It's been our livelihood You're talking, Scarlet, about Ivermectin And yes, that's how you say it Ivermectin, yeah A lot of people have been taking that Which is a horse dewormer And there have been shortages out there

In the world from what I hear Because so many people want to take it In order to cure their COVID That's right, not helpful If you've got thousands of horses You've got to deworm on your ranch Downtown Tampa And they all have worms, your horses

Is that part of the business? It's inevitable Everybody got worms, stop it You could pull worms out of you right now If we wanted to How would you do it? Like, in how many steps? I mean, to three steps

Okay, what are the steps? Reach and grab and pull Okay, just reach, grab and pull Anywhere on my body Reach, grab, anywhere you can I got the chopsticks in my kit We could do it So what has been going on

At the bee honey horse fight fields then? Are there just worms everywhere now? Damn straight Worms has made its tremors Down the fields As big as the tremors That the worms and tremors made? You've got that right

You've got that right Wow Watching the horse out there in the field And all of a sudden from below You'll see a little dirt path And all of a sudden That horse gets sucked down Right on down

God, how horrible I mean, have you incorporated it Into the actual fights Or anything like that We're trying to get them to fight But they don't pay attention Like a horse does That's the thing about it

That's the thing about a giant tremor worm You know, if it's one in a million horses That's a fighter Yeah, we've tried everything It's way more zeros on the end for worms Stubborn as a worm That's the old saying Oh, okay, right

I've heard that as well Stubborn as a worm We've tried to hire the father From family ties to come Michael Gross Michael Gross Great Michael Gross Well, you know him

Just as his name on the show Yeah, Mr. Keating Yeah, exactly Keating, right? Keating, yeah Yeah, Mr. Keating No, Keating No haji

Keating No ji at all No ji No heart, no soft Keating Mr. Keating didn't That's right So you tried to hire him

And he turned it down flat Or what? He has not responded Oh, okay He's great Underrated Michael Gross What a talent

Yale drama Did they start that big Or have they just gotten I mean, is that what happens If you don't have the ivermectin? Well, that's the science behind ivermectin Oh He said it

Is that it maintains the size It maintains a manageable size Of microbiotic worms To not expand over a quick period of time In the super tremor worms I see, so when they call it a dewormer That's actually a misnomer It actually is just keeping them

To be the same size Yeah, a worm shrinker You could call it a worm shrinker A worm shrinker So these giant worms are here And what happens when you cut a worm in half Doesn't it just makes two worms, right? I mean

And I'll take credit for that I started, I was cutting those worms in half All over the place Not helpful And I thought, ah, get them all Get them all And now there's They're stopping

Stop chopping There's gotta be over what? It just doubles me It just doubles me Exactly, twice No, exponentially Cause when you cut Yeah, cause I'd cut them

I'd cut them Two or two They'd grow I'd cut them again There's well over a trillion And those are just growing by themselves Yeah, well they're eating I mean, they eat the honey

They eat the taffy They've been eating the taffy Oh no The leftover taffy That we had leftover after October So how was taffy season And with all these worms there? It wasn't great

Nope They can't pay for it They don't got money They got nothing That's maybe my only frustration with worms They don't got money It's their lack of financial stability You would think they would like

Open a bank or something I mean, listen But these concepts seem very difficult for them to grab Listen, if you got a trillion worms Each of them got one dollar You do the math, Scotland It sounds to me like The non-palantromic one trillion dollars

Yeah That's right Although I guess the palantromic Of that would be one trillion and one dollars Yeah That's it So you just chop one more worm Okay

Be careful not to chop it again No, no, no, no, no Bizz-bizz, stop chopping Bizz-bizz got so chop happy And he was chop happy for the better part You were chop happy? Yeah, chop happy I did

I've heard of that happening to people Okay, I lost I saw chop For days, for weeks I saw chop You saw chop, you say? I saw chop I went choppin' their head

I saw chop everywhere I was choppin' everything But so now the Decker triplets Who Boo They've changed their name to Boo They've changed their name to the Baxter triplets

Oh, man They rebranded their pig wrestling Carmel farms Oh, that's what they would have Pig fights there? No, pig wrestling It's pig wrestling in Carmel Country Mark The Baxter

Formally known as But they just put the FKA Oh, okay, yeah Like twigs Exactly Exactly like twigs I think they've stole it from twigs Oh, okay

So Baxter FKA FKA Decker triplets Pig wrestling And Carmel's Country Mark Country, what was that last word they said? Ma How do you spell that? Ma

No, spell, not say A Sure A A Okay A Okay

Okay, enough of the A's Just cut to whatever's next He got ten stanzas We don't have time Ma T Oh, Mart Oh, okay Thank you

It's like you're French You're taking off the T Ma You got to hang in there Okay, I'm sorry You were laughing at it Something that just Bores my chops

I beg your pardon The Baxter FKA Decker Pig wrestling And Carmel Country Mark That's been next door And just recap a little bit of what's I guess we briefly mentioned them And of course we remember

That their name was Decker And we briefly mentioned them On the last episode that you guys did They're your nemesis They're the whores of the devil Oh So the devil So they're not like the spawn of the devil

Or anything, they're just whores They're just whores Even worse Worse than the spawn The whores of the devil What they've done to us In our business Okay, what do they do?

I mean, how long have you known them? They encroached on our territory As you can imagine There's a finite number of people Who are enthusiasts of Animal grappling Style sports Sure, yeah

What is that number? In the central Florida area Because you guys are open every day That's right And we're spread thin enough With our two locations One Florida, one California That was the Florida one doing, by the way

It's not great It's not great Why did you open it again? Well, when we merged Oh, that's right With Biz-Biz Damn, we merged with Biz-Biz We wouldn't make more sense

Just to shut his down And then have you go over to this one Yeah, you tried negotiating with them Exactly And the plan was originally To just slowly plot after plot By the land between the two And have the world's only and longest

Horse fighting, bee hunting And taffy fighting, fighting fields So just 3,000 miles wide Yeah, San Luis Obispo to Tampa pretty much But very thin Very thin But it adds up Still impressive, square footage wise

But what these witches have gone and done, Scarlet They came to us and they said Oh, we think you should franchise And we said, what's that? And they said, we will pay you To use your name to open it We said, no woman's gonna tell us our business And they were not happy about that

They didn't like hearing that Within months, Scarlet Since we last talked, within months They bought a thin ring of land Completely around both of our horse hang farm No! It's 5 feet wide It's 5 feet wide

Like the shape of a horse anus Right around us Well, this is terrible So the Baxter FKA Decker triplets Have just taken a sledgehammer To your business and unlike, you know Peter Gabriel taking sledgehammer To the top of the charts

Right This has just handicapped your business It won't be our testimony It'll be our destructimony Exactly But I would imagine Couldn't you somehow harness the power of the worms And maybe have them storm?

We've been trying That was all planned with Michael Gross He turned us down flat As I recall in those Tremors movies He killed worms He didn't actually like ever... Are you telling me? So let me get this straight

If you're a worm and Michael Gross shows up And you know that he's famous for killing you You're not gonna listen to what he says? Okay, I get you Maybe that should have been the next Tremors movies Him training them because they're so afraid of him Yeah, how has that not been one of them yet? And he turns them against the U.S. government

Because the only conversation we actually had with Michael Before he just ghosted us There was a screenplay Called Tremor Down Now Where they... Was Serio Terry part of this? She's a co-writer Co-writer, associate producer

So unfair the way that women are treated In show business Not cool But yeah, Tremor Down Now Where Michael Gross's character from Tremors Harnesses the power of worms Okay It was more like a sports movie

Like a chariot of fire It was chariot of fire set in the world of Tremors Oh, so wait, so he then takes those worms and races with them? The worm Olympics The worm Olympics They win every category of the Olympics Okay, so they're pole vaulting Everything

Everything, wow, of the worm Olympics No, of the human Olympics Oh, okay Every version So the first act is them going to the World Olympics That's sort of the moral of it Is that, you know what, at the end of the day Humans and worms, we ate that different

Other than the money part of it And being chopped You don't want to chop a human Sure, because you... Boy, wouldn't that be great if someone chopped you in half And you just became another person? Listen, Scotty I already got two brothers

I don't need another Calvin's boy Running around the fighting fields Can you imagine the Calvin's Sex couplets? Yeah Well, I wonder what that'd be like Welcome to the Calvin's Sex couplets B, honey, taffy, horse fighting fields

I'm Beverly Hopox And I'm Beverly Hopox Calm down now, Beverly Chico, tell them what they're in for today Yeah, tell them, other Chico Will you stop? Were you talking to me? Were you talking to the other Chico when you said to stop?

Were you talking to your clone? I'm talking to the Chico that I knew before to chop That sounds like me Everybody got to quiet down over there You're getting me all riled up Let them do what they want Come on Oh, biz-biz

Oh, no, oh, no Oh, no, biz-biz fighting biz-biz Oh, they've locked horse necks They've locked horse necks Oh, no The horse anus is synced up Oh, thank god, he got that last line in as we were fading out

So the horse anus is synced up? That's my takeaway from this There was a suction cup Oh, the suction cup Power of the anus They became sort of like a... Yeah, I remember the animated Nicktoon cat dog I do not

I sure don't That is not what we're talking about Well, that would be horrible We don't want that to happen So, yeah Thank god Oh, my gosh So the Baxter FKA Decker triplets

Is there any chance that we could maybe talk to them about this? Maybe kind of try to iron out some sort of a thing? I mean... We could give them a call We could give them a call, right? I guess Scotland, if you agree to be the mitigator

renovator, terminator arbitrator, then... Yes Okay, good I agree I agree to be at least two of those things We can eat crow And we will try to reset

Okay Our dynamic with these Baxter FKA Decker Well, come on That's a bad way to stop it That's a bad way to start Yeah, let me call them up on this Here we go Calling the Baxter FKA Dexter triplets

at their pig wrestling in Caramo Country Mart It's ringing and hopefully they'll pick up and this won't be another Hello? Hello? Hello?

Sorry I got a boog in my throat This is the BFKD PWCCM Oh, hi You're talking to Queena? Who is it? It's customer Queena, who is it?

What is the customer? I didn't give him a chance yet Queena, Queena Hi, this is Scott This is Scott Ackerman This is your show I don't know this show What show?

Quit that, what show? I don't know, you see he's scored something from a show Okay, forget that I'm Scott Ackerman from Comedy Bang Bang Oh, it's a comedy bang bang Huh? Comedy bang bang

Is Scott? Yes Hello, Scott Hello, Scott It's comedy bang bang Welcome to the BFKD PWCCM CCM CCM

Yes How can I help you? Well, by the way, I'm recording a podcast Is it all right if I record your voice? Oh, free advertising Oh, yes It's you Okay, sure

Are your sisters there, Tanya and Candy? Oh, yes We're both here in the front office You're both here They're both here Oh, they're both here They're both here And both have me now

And you're French? I'm from the other place The other place? Oh, okay, good Are you selling him? You want to give me the chance? Yeah He said he'd do the podcast and he said about our...

Just talk about his famous He talked about the big wrestling in caramelized Oh, la la Is he famous, man? Scott, may I ask you a question? Please, yes Is you're famous? Uh, podcast famous

It's podcast famous Yeah Have you heard of Conan O'Brien? Comedy bang bang Conan O'Brien It's Conan? You're Conan O'Brien? No, but we're colleagues

No, he's called him He's what? He's called him I can't hear you I have the machine on Pick up the other one Pick up the Bonnie Bologna What machine do you have?

Hello Hi, hi What machine do you have on? Which one are you, by the way? The triple blender Oh, the triple blender Oh, sorry Which sister are you?

Are you Candy? I'm Candid You're Candid Oh, Candid Oh, okay I misheard the people who said your name It's Candid Who said my name?

Uh, oh, we'll get to that in a second But I want to make sure that Tanya is also on Is your sister Tanya here? What? Tanya What is he saying? Pick up the facts phone Get under the facts phone

Hello, this is Tanya Hi, Tanya This, uh, hi So I have all three of you Great, Scott Aquaman Oh, Scott Aquaman From Comedy Bang Bang Mr. Shaw

Mr. Shaw Scott Aquaman Yes You didn't know I thought you said you missed my show Oh, that was I didn't know what this means That was a common misconception when that show came

Mr. Shaw Yeah, Mr. Shaw, yeah Okay, talk to a crazy person, but please buy some caramel Are you crazy? I'm not crazy No, no, I'm not crazy You're like two steps behind it All times, it seems like

I have the machine on Okay, turn off the triple blender, please Uh, guys, uh, and when I say guys I just mean you, the triplets Uh, the women The women that I'm talking to Gals, yes, of course Please say specifically gals

In case it gets confused Should you be in the room with anybody else? I am in the room It's so coincidental that you said that I am in the room with three gentlemen Right now Oh, you excited by that If they like caramel or pig wrestling

Yes, lala I don't, you know, I don't know If they like either of those things That has never come up in our conversations But what has come up in our conversations Is the fact that they are neighbors to you That's right, I have I turned off the machine

Oh, okay, thank you Thank you, Candid God, you can't Candid really needs to get on the same page with you Yeah Gals Um, but I have, I have three guys with me I have, uh, your neighbors

Bever, Chico and Bisbee That's right, I have the Calvin's triplets here Oh, God Yeah Guys, say hello to the gals They are on the phone Are we on speakerphone? Now you have the triple blender on

Can you please turn it off? Turn it off Oh, I misheard you I was like, I missed your show And I was like, I got confused And I said, time to blend the taffy And I turned it on Okay, sorry about that, Sky

No, no, we're still in the middle of the show I missed it Okay, we're doing it right now I'll say hello I'll say hello to anybody who deserves it Oh, okay, well then So if you don't mind, I'll pass on saying hello Bisbee

Oh, that's not the way to start Hello, Queer, hello, Tanya, hello, Candid Hello Hello, it's good to hear you Is there a single case there in your little island? Where are you laughing like that? What she said wasn't all that funny Sorry, I did find that funny in the horse

There, that's a horse laugh there That's a horse laugh He got a horse's Adam's apple Put in as well Effectively Number one, two Okay Okay

Good clip Good clip This, of course Great oldies Leads to all sorts of high drinks on the phone With the three guys playing two parts a piece We just are scratching the surface on this Really funny episode all the way through

Taryn and Paul moving expertly back and forth Between voices And Ryan Sounds like somebody wasn't able to Ryan's struggling to remember how to do his own voice He totally forgot how to do his Bisbee voice And just was like, just started the episode And he said the first thing and we, it wasn't his voice

That he normally doesn't really, what's wrong with you So he had to say he was sick What's wrong with you? By the way, we mentioned the worms That Obi-Wan Kenobi loves so much in that clip He mentioned the worms So Obi-Wan actually probably would love Because they're giant worms

Sure Over there at the horse fighting range Absolutely He would love it over there He would love the movie Dune He would love the movie Dune He knew anything about pop culture Yeah, and he doesn't

Great clip, I love those guys They all three came over together to my house The other night Because Like unexpectedly? No, we had planned it But because the books, the comedy bang bang books Which are coming out in April of 2023

I got thousands and thousands of them sent to me And I signed all of them And I thought it would be really fun If various people in the show signed different ones And so all three of the Calvin's triplets came over And signed a big batch along with me And you don't know who you're going to get? You don't know who you're going to get

How many did I sign? You signed thousands With five boxes You signed half of the ones I did Yeah Okay Yeah, you signed five boxes, I did ten Wow

Yeah, so you did a whole bunch of them We talked about it on three of them Yes I believe And it's really fun So if you bought a signed edition It'll be me as well as some At least one other person

It's going to be fun It's going to be fun to see who you get Okay Let's take a break When we come back We will be... We're not going to crack the top ten yet But I'll tell you what

We're going to crack the top eleven I mean, that's not nothing That's nothing That's not nothing Yeah, so let's do it We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this When I think about people Yeah

Who are out there saying Oh, they're not cracking the top ten yet How many numbers have you cracked? Yeah Do you know what I mean? I know exactly what you... I mean, I bet you've cracked some nuts Oh

Oh Yeah Yeah Because you're a nutcracker that came to life Exactly And you belong on the Isle of Misfit Toys And you belong on the Isle of Misfit Toys Yeah

How about that? That portrayal of Santa Claus Who's like I'm banishing you Yeah Weird guy That's weird enough, you shouldn't be None of you should be alive

Instead of putting you out of your misery Yeah By shooting you in the head Like the Yellowstone style First scene of Yellowstone I feel like Rankin & Bass did not Really consider all of the ramifications Of the Isle of Misfit Toys

Yeah Where it's like, they're not there because You know, this train has square wheels It's because you can fucking talk Exactly You can't be giving presents to children that are alive And we... And also, but what's weird about it is

It humanizes them to hear them talk You know how if you're ever kidnapped You should be, you know, talking Yeah And talking about your loved ones I like the Star Wars trilogies I like my favorite color is green Anyway, Rankin & Bass

Work smarter Not harder Yeah I don't even know if they're working that hard By the way, I saw that Speaking of stop motion animation Saw that Pinocchio Pinocchio is supposed to be great

It's beautiful Right here And not for kids Yeah No kids allowed Well, speaking of not for kids Why don't we crack the top 11? Yeah

We're gonna do it This is your choice for episode number 11 Number 1 1 Alright, Paul This is episode 767 Oh, so this is in the mid To late, 700s

Say the early mid Oh, this is the early mid 700s Yeah, that's what I would do Definitely I said what? Definitely mid You dildo

Alright, this is an episode called From July 25, 2022 Weird title There was a comma before I said call Oh, I apologize Called Fordham Fordham Fordham

Fordham Oh, I know this one I bet you do, Paul, because you were there This has Paul F. Tompkins, Lauren Lapkus Hey And Mary Holland Hey

So this is an episode Let's talk about the backstory of it a little bit Yeah So this was an episode where We heard the episode with Tatiana Maslani earlier This was the episode she was supposed to be on And she canceled right before the show That's right

Remember how we said she was so nice? She's not She's not nice No, a person who would cancel a show Right before she does it Yeah, not nice This is our job You know what I mean?

You said you were going to do this You went back on your word You're a liar I call that not nice Yeah Anyway, so she canceled Approximately a half hour before the show She canceled with extreme prejudice

To her credit, she rescheduled But all of us were She's the best We're all set to do the show And so we said, you know what? We're going to do it anyway Yeah And in the A block

Where we usually talk to a celebrity We are going to It's going to be You, Paul, myself, and Lauren Lapkus Because we have a different show called You, Paul, of course, is my drag character And also your You, Paul, parody It works as both

It's weird to I mean, most parodies are songs But you have a Trucking line A business trucking line And the thing is, is that all the trucks are in drag And they drag things as well, so Exactly

You get it You, Paul, get it Yes So we said, okay, you know what? We hosted another show called Freedom Together Which is there are no characters on It's just the three of us friends talking

Me, Scott, and Lauren We said, let's be the celebrities At the top when we're going to talk about Freedom at the top Yes, so we'll be ourselves Promoting a podcast So we did that at the top Is there anything more pathetic?

Promoting a podcast And then Mary came on playing A reporter who was just hit by a car Which I think was something that had just happened On live TV But none of us had seen the clip And we didn't know what she was doing And then Lauren comes on

This is where we're starting Lauren comes on playing a parody of someone She saw on Instagram, I think And we didn't know who that was either So we're going to hear that clip And then we're going to hear another clip Where Paul F. comes on Is someone we have heard about previously

On these best ofs Let's just hear the clip This is your episode, number 11 Alright, we have to get to our next guest They have a special skill Never been on the show before Please welcome Carmine DeLonge I'm so excited to be here

Hey, Carmine Hi, Carmine Hi, Carmine Great to meet you Great to meet you This is Paul F. Tompkins Paul, nice to meet you We've actually met before

Have we really? Really, forgive me I've also met you before And I've also met you before I remember exactly I'm sorry, I don't remember I don't remember That's so weird

I mean, we've never even met Just because you never met It doesn't mean I never met I'm a different man You are a different man That's so true Carlo, was it? Carmine

Carmine, I forget I've been watching The Bear I switched it around You can remember this By picturing your own car And going, ah, Carmine Thank you That's a handy

It actually is A little bit His name is Carmine I'll never forget And when did we meet before? Forgive me We met it was 1998 You were wearing a blue suit

You had blue shoes You had a blue hat You had a coin coming out of your mouth I remember this day You were carrying a notebook And it was Thursday, July 17th Oh my God Holy shit

How do you remember? Okay, when did we meet? It was 1994 It was a rainy That was a long time ago Four years before we met You were scared You were ducking behind a car

I said I could help you You said, not if I help you first You stood up and it was actually a prank Where you were actually turning prank people You were wearing a black shirt A black pants A black shoes And a black hat

I remember this prank No Quark Hop pipe? I couldn't afford one back then It was 1994 He did not have a Quark Hop pipe It was before his big successes Where he would be able to afford all the Quark Hop pipes I've never watched every single one of them

By the way, I've been watching all of his successes I'm very happy for you Thank you so much So nice Carmine, when did you meet Heaney? Carmine Heaney Heaney Heaney Heaney

That's my big name That's my big name Wow Heaney Heaney Heaney Heaney We met in high school I was your teacher I was a man then

When I was your teacher And I You were a sweet little girl You always had your hand pink tails And you wore a pink shirt Pink pants, pink shoes And a pink hat That's true

All of us have matched on these days Yes Oh, my God It was Wednesday, October 9 But the whole year That was the day before I got hit by that quark I taught one day I got fired

The college one? No, no, no In elementary school Or in high school That was the day before I got hit by the quark Oh I wouldn't know because I left the school Because I was fired

Because I had to go do other jobs So you were fired? I was fired because I had to go do other jobs You were fired because you had to go do other jobs But do you see I remember So distinctly And you tell me you don't remember me at all I mean, I remember the day that I said

I'm gonna try a monochromatic outfit Yeah And I never felt fully secure Even with my pipe Which I was like smoking furiously I remember doing those pranks But I never actually met the people That I did the pranks on

But you did meet me But you just didn't remember I was probably so distracted Because I was self-conscious That I didn't remember meeting anyone Do you have Mary Lou Henner disease? Is that I wouldn't call it a disease

It's called a gift Okay, so you remember Do you have Mary Lou Henner gift? Excuse me Do you have Mary Lou Henner gift? I have I gave Mary Lou Henner gift I gave her

I gave her an umbrella that has That turns its head out So it catches the rain to give her Later more of the plants Oh, that's nice I gave her a pair of socks with my picture On them to be funny That was a little prank one

I gave her a big set of pencils That were all huge Ooh, wow And that was not a prank That was because you always lost your pencils So a big set of huge pencils Yeah And I gave her a new doorknob

Because when I went to her house I pulled the doorknob right off Wow Four gifts So that wasn't really a gift So much as a replacement I'm curious about the umbrella About where you saved the rain for later

Yes, it's from Mocha So it's turned inside out So it's kind of like you're holding Like a birdbath kind of above your head You look very dumb when you hold it But it would get heavy, right? It gets very heavy Depending on how much rain there is

Well, because you stand outside And you go dump it in your plants It'll help about it If you want to save it for the bath Even though it's raining If you see that West Virginia It rains in West Virginia I'll tell you right now

It rains here, too It rains in West Virginia It's part of the local weather Well, actually, no It has rained more than ever this year Than ever in West Virginia It's been raining nonstop Every single day in June

And oh How did you know that? You know facts about places you aren't even in I know the farmer's almanac Packers and Fords I have a photograph of memory Tell it to us backwards, please Backwards is right now today

Today it is 85% Wow, it is today Oh, my God, it's scary Come on But it knows what happens in the future But it tells you what happens today It knows what... Wow

It can predict generally Given those facts Right, when eclipses Are going to be, et cetera Oh, no way I never knew how to use the almanac Because I would look up words If I was trying to think of a word

If I was trying to think of a word That's that You're trying to think of a word right now We can say that That's like nas And what's another word That's like means nas But isn't that word

This is the sort I was looking up in the almanac I can tell you all about Kind, sweet Oh, my God Loving Nice Nice

Friendly Open Nice Giving Kind Nice Friendly Listen

Open Listen Eh Nice An audio book To Learn More vocabulary

Wow That's impressive That's impressive That's really good I'll admit I was doubting it at first But that blew me away Mr. Doubt a lot Mr. Doubtfire

Your tits are on fire Hello Didn't you see a drive-by fruiting on your way in here? I did see a drive-by fruiting No, it was a drive-by hit with her Oh, that's what it was Oh, that's what it was Yeah, I got it as a hit and run

Can we test you on things that have happened in the past? Is that okay? That's my favorite activity Many game shows and many news shows Okay I've been on Jeopardy! Jeopardy! All right

What was the third one? Jeopardy! September 23rd, 1985 Oh, okay Yep, it was a big day What happened? Well, so it was snowing It was

What day of the week was it, first of all? Wednesday and it was snowing Oh, great And it was very, very cold Everywhere And it was cold Everywhere? Wow

And it was... That's what the Alma Max said But what happened to me that day? I met three interesting people Tell us about all three of them Or at least two of them Where they was I'll start with one

He was a butcher He had on a hat white And he had... Let me guess the color of the rest of his clothes White? Well, what are you? A guessing guy? You're the person who actually...

White shirt White apron White pants White shoes White gloves That's bold for a butcher White gloves But he was splattered in blood

But I met him and he said Please meet ya And I'll never forget him And then... He was pretty anodyne Of an interaction I guess the spatter with blood part That's what makes my skills so interesting

I was walking down the street And I went to the bakery And I got myself croissant And I was talking to the baker And his name was the baker And he had on Let me tell you His last name was baker?

Or... He had his hair in a ponytail And he had on a blue shirt Blue pants, blue shoes Blue... Oh Blue apron Blue apron

Blue apron Blue apron Blue apron He started a company This is an ad for blue apron This is the longest ad we've ever done And if you want to use my code for blue apron Don't forget

It's this code now Always remember That's the code And I met him And he was so... He was so affable And I'll never forget that about him He was snowing so bad

So affable Yeah, yeah And then... Who's the third person you met? I met a candlestick maker He was making me a little candlestick Out of a wax bug And he was just playing

A wax bug? A wax bug? A wax bug And he was just... He was rolling, rolling, rolling Get your candles rolling And he sang And I'll never forget how he sang it

So beautifully And right on tune And he had a perfect pitch And he had... And here's what he was wearing He had on a striped hat Striped glasses Striped shirt

Striped glasses What color were the straps? Striped shirt Striped scarf Paid striped shoes Striped socks The stripes were red and white Red and white

Like he worked at Toy City or something Were the lenses of his glasses also striped? Just the frames Okay The lenses were black Oh, my God Like he was wearing sunglasses? No

Like he was blind But he wasn't Because he looked me right And I said, I love how you look So that you could tell Both physically and from what he said Wow What an interesting day

I know Can you believe it? Did you go right to bed from there? Then I went home and I fucked my wife Okay Wait How old of a man are you? How?

Backside How old of a man am I? Yeah My age is One plus two plus three Don't count every year We gotta speak this up Wait, year were you born?

Can I ask you that? You must remember that You can't ask me that Do you remember the day you were born? Do you remember that far back? Yes, I do Oh, no Tell us about that

My birthday is May 1 The year is 1948 1948 You look terrific You really did I got a lot of Botox You're in the 60

Oh, why? Do you remember that? Why do I get it? Because I have wrinkles Are you that vain? I mean, you're like an ugly guy Scott Stop

You should sing with my wrinkles That's rude I'm gonna say it like you ain't no That's like when I was a movie star I remember thinking John Kerry was very unattractive And then he got a bunch of Botox I was like, wow, look at this Who's this hunk?

So I looked better, better, better, better, better Yeah, what was your question? The day I was born, well, I was inside the As you all know, when you're born You're inside the vagina And I was inside the vagina Just in there And I was going, I think I want to get out

And it was hot And the weather was muggy And I got out The weather inside or the weather? The weather inside is muggy I got outside It's so Deluggy

Wax buggy I always thought the word was deluggy That's the one thing I ever forgot Wow, this is a big day Don't write this down So you remember you forgot Nobody write this down I know I never forgot anything before this

I would have remembered that So you were inside And then did you see the light? Did you like start crawling towards the light? I started going Squish my head down, down, down, down, down And then my mom was screaming Get the fuck out

And I went Hop Goes the weasel And I came out with a parachute A parachute I sang that song I was the placenta And I sang

Hop goes the weasel And you had a placental parachute And I landed on the ground Really? Yeah, what? You don't believe me? Ask my mom Is she still alive?

No See, you can't even fix it If you want it to When did she die? Tell us about that day What day was it? Two days ago I remember it

Two days ago How old was she? 99 Okay, so she had you in her 30s It was late for the time For the time, sure But are you the first or the last Of a big family?

I'm the 16th Or the everything 16th child? Yes And what do you get? My brother's name is Damon My other brother's name is Mike My other brother's name is Weasel

My other brother's name is Matt My other brother's name is Danny My other brother's name is Koolock My other brother's name is Scott You're just laying things in the room My other brother's name is Table My other brother's name is William My other brother's name is microphone

My other brother's name is Matt My other brother's name is Phone My other brother's name is Hat I think I've named my brothers And that's how Matt on that Wow She's telling the truth He is

I'm one of the table It's an easy way to remember All your family members Oh, what's going on? Hey, Scott What's up? What? Jarls?

Yeah, it's me, Jarls Classic Jarls? Classic Jarls Oh my god, Jarls, how are you? I'm good, it's good to see you, man Are you still trapped here in the Your old studios? Do you know me?

Y'all know me Y'all know me Still the same old G I met this guy I met this guy once before You're mine Hi Oh, Jarls

How are you? You remember meeting me? Of course, we had a very memorable meeting I did We had a memorable We were wearing the same outfit Yes Grey pants

Grey shirt Grey hat Grey gloves Grey glasses Grey glasses Grey shoes Grey shoes Grey shoes

And a horse A grey woolen And a grey corn pop pipe Corn pipe My goodness, Jarls How long ago was this? Corn pipe Corn pipe

Milk in the end of the go I don't think I mean Make a milk bubble Make a milk bubble We screamed On Saturday night live We became hits on friends On Saturday night live

Yeah, Lord Michaels was walking by I love that show And Lord Lord said What if you could be in my shoes Lord Michaels was wearing A purple hat A purple scarf

A purple shirt A purple jacket A purple pants A purple shoes Purple socks too So I don't remember this episode Who was hosting that you guys Actually did the cold open

Prince Prince was hosting Prince was hosting and musical guys And we said Move over short stuff Wait, do you see this? And we blew milk bubbles out of A corn cup pipe

People freaking went crazy for the stuff Of course I would remember that We got a 45 minute standing ovation After this We got an apple bottom jeans Roots with the fur With the pearls The whole club was looking at

Hurl Oh, did that a bow Oh Did that a bow Low, low, low, low, low She could still dance She could still dance You know Haney Dillf?

Yeah, I used to watch West Virginia news On my pirate radio On television You recognize me? Of course I do Oh my god If you don't know

Haney Jarls has been trapped In the Ear Wolf Studios For now five years or so Oh no That reference by the way Since you've been trapped Is no longer We don't like that anymore

Um What's your biggest fear When you're here When the lights go out That there's creatures Is there a ghost? I knew there's ghosts I'm not scared of ghosts

Fuck them I'm scared of creatures Do you think we're ghost pinches? Yeah, pinch Pinch me right here Actually pinch me right here Ew It's all wet

Pinch me right here On our nipples? Yeah, pinch me right here Hey, come on What? No, just do it Come on We're not gonna twist your nipples

Just do it if you wanna know If I'm a ghost or not You don't have to twist It's just pinch Yeah, pinch them I didn't say anything about this It's a good little pole car Number one

One There we go Classic Jarls A full segment Full segment Never happened before Classic Jarls had never had Because Jarls

Jarls longest he's spoken So Jarls, talk about Jarls We've talked about him on previous best ups But he started as What? He was born on the DVD commentaries For a comedy bang bang And then

Jarls was a character That I would do Specifically To crash the show If I was here Back when Back when there would be like A million shows here

Yeah, four shows happening At the same time Three at least And so I'd do another podcast And then I would see you guys Were in the studio And so I would come in And just be

This guy Jarls Hey Hey You'd open the door What's going on Scott And Jarls of course Has a very tiny windpipe He's very devout

And that's why he sounds that way He's a fencing instructor He's a fencing instructor Those are his three things And so it would just be me I would come in Do that for like a couple seconds And then leave

Yeah And it was fun It was fun And We decided to talk to him And we just We just scratched the surface with it We heard about three minutes of Jarls

But Some really funny stuff That's a good episode We have And Mary was playing Haney Dilf She's The best at coming up with great Character names

She has great names And that was the only episode Lauren did this This year I know She just doesn't have A ton of time That's true

Unfortunately Because she has so many Podcast duties And so many terrible movies to watch I empathize I thought you were going to say Terrible movies to be in No

She's been in Some good movies The between difference movies And nothing else Now she's been working a ton And she has a baby Going out of town Yeah

So she would I keep pitching her episodes to do And she's like I wish I could But I Like I pitched her one the other day And she was like I wish I could

But I'm here with Holly And I have a closet being put in She's putting a closet in her daughter And I think that's weird It's so straight Like you basically like It's one of those where you just press a button And it unlatches her full stomach

Look We all need more space I get it But not in babies Don't put a closet in a baby First of all, she's going to keep growing Yes And hopefully your closet will

Hopefully But this is experimental surgery Alright, we're going to take a break We're on the cusp of cracking the top ten, Paul That's got to be exciting We're on the sea of sea, the TT Let's take a break When we come back

We'll have more best of comedy bang bang 2022 after this Bum bum bum bum bum So it might mean just singing Away in a manger Away in a manger Now crab for a bed The little bar

Jesus laid down his sweet head Hey, welcome back It is almost Christmas Christmas in three days Do you know the song New Kid in Town by George Straight? Isn't there a New Kid in Town that's like Everybody's talking about the New Kid in town

Maybe that is Oh, no That's a different song Oh, okay That's a different song What's the George Straight one? The George Straight one There's a New Kid in Town

Here in Bethlehem Oh, jeez And it's like Hey, someone was born I think it's from the point of view of like the wise men or something and they're saying like Hey

Hey, somebody Anybody's seen a savior out here We're updating the census And there's this guy who's like Uh, yeah A baby got born a couple Blocks away Blocks away in this barn

I mean, he's in a manger He's in a manger Some kid Wow Why do we have to talk about this guy? It's like, yes, the story of Christmas and Jesus' birth has been well told But now, like, you know

80th on the call sheet is getting his own song Exactly Here's an angle nobody's explored What if somebody didn't know who he was? What if someone gave someone directions to him? That's a song? I'm gonna look up the lyrics Okay, but please keep the show going

By the way, George Straight It's trying a little hard You know what I mean? It's like, okay, man We get it Hey, nobody was asking Calm down Um, we are

Counting down the top 17 episodes of Comedy Bang Bang 2022 So many episodes we had to do Top 17 this year So many good episodes And, um, did you find him? I did

It is exactly what I thought it was Uh, we're looking for the king The new Messiah We're following the star shining brighter Old man, won't you help us if you can? Old man He shook his head, but he pointed at his hand By the way, life expectancy is being what they were

He was probably 30 By the way, old men in songs If you're going by this And you're going by the weight They're not helpful No All they do is shake their heads no He pointed at his hand

There's a new kid in town He's lying in a manger down the road There's a new kid in town But he's just another baby, I suppose Heaven knows there's a new kid in town Here in Bethlehem I see you've traveled far, bearing treasures You say these gifts are for the new king's pleasure

I heard that a king might come, but Up to now there hasn't been one So he So he's like I've heard this is going to happen Yeah And I've been waiting for it And I'm religious because I mentioned heaven

But I don't give a shit if this is him I don't know But anyway If you're looking for a baby There is one that just got born down the road Wow So Terrible song

Hey, but if he turns out to be the baby The like the The Messiah The Messiah? Please come back and let me know I mean, well, they ghost him They just forget about it He's like, well, I guess it wasn't the case

Also, I mean So these three kings knew Right, the three wise men They're like Are they kings or wise men? You know what I mean? Because some people say they're kings We three kings

Yeah, but then there's We call them the three wise men But just because they're kings, they're wise Come on Or are they wise kings Which is allowed Yeah But I'll drop this wise king

So It's a puddle of myrrh So they know Puddle of myrrh is my favorite band Oh, they're great The 2000s They're great The puddle of mud cover band

Where they make them all Christmas songs If I can think of one puddle of mud song Oh, if only I would give you an example But here's the They just cover the songs And they add jingle bells That's all they do

Okay, so these guys These astrologers They're like Okay, this star says This baby's gonna be born On this date and this place Let's go there Bring him a bunch of gifts

And then Nobody believed them, I guess Because then Jesus, it's not until He's like in his 30s When people finally go like You know what? I bet you are

Yeah And it's only 12 guys And what are these What are these wise men doing While he's being crucified, by the way Why don't they pop up as character witnesses Fucking guys I don't know

The whole thing doesn't make sense The whole thing doesn't make sense You know what I was thinking about The other day I was singing Jingle Bells Batman Smells Yeah More Christmas songs should have

Batman in them Well, but it's very pejorative You know what I mean? Like, they're being It's mean It's mean, but I mean Why, you're dragging him into Christmas He could be rehabilitated

In other songs Okay Name any Christmas song Away in a manger The one we were just singing Yeah You said any Alright

Okay, well, wait God rest ye merry gentlemen Okay, God rest ye merry Batman I mean easy right there That's just easy pickin' Okay, then what else? Talk about how he smells

God rest ye merry Batman This guy really smells Now we will listen To a song named Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Batman Smells

Batman Smells Batman Badmobile lost its wheel Joker got away Hey Good stuff Also making light of a The homicidal mania he's escaped

Yeah He wasn't homicidal in those early comics though No, he's just a goofball They were all just goofballs And now they're like Well, he started it The Riddler's like snapping somebody's neck Wait, where's the riddle?

Knock-knock, who's there? Me snapping your neck? You hitting the floor One has a snapped neck When it's standing in front of me The answer, you Fun riddle I remember getting that in fortune cookie one time

Well, Paul We were gonna Whop-paw Whop-paw Hey, he just got a new girlfriend Whop-paw Well We were gonna crack the top ten

But instead We're gonna take a little detour And we're gonna play a B-b-b-b-bonus Clip Really? Yes You know why

No 17 wasn't enough Scott, this is Precedented That's true On the best ofs We used to play bonus clips a lot And we haven't in a few years

They've been jam-packed But this year We had a little contest For people who Bought the Comedy Bang Bang Book I don't know about this The Comedy Bang Bang Book Is coming out in April

And so we opened up a contest If you could prove that you bought the book If you had the receipt or whatever You could enter the contest If you have the receipts That's right And these people had the receipts You could enter the contest

And pick An episode that you would like to be featured In the best ofs And I would read what They wanted to say about the episode Mmm And so our winner Was Eli Schwab

From Woodland Hills, California Picked in a random drawing Hi, Eli Hi, Eli And he picked As his episode That he wanted to highlight He picked episode number

700 November? Number 763 From June 27 So this is in the Mid-Mid-700s Yeah, definitely

Yeah And this is an episode called Star-Toon Cartoon Mmm Familiar? Familiar Yes, I remember now Yes, you are in it

Yes Yes This has Some interesting people It is the show where we talk to Interesting people It was That's true

Now it is Humanities Podcast And the Animal Kingdoms But this has These are the people involved Jack Quaid From Amazon's The Boys Um

Paul F. Tompkins Hi And Tony Newsom Yes All three people who are on A little animated show called Star Trek Lower Dex

Correct And um I play a Birdman You do And this was an episode Not Birdman Or

The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance I watched his new Or I turned on his new film I should say I turned on Bardo the other day Got three Three scenes in and I said Gotta go

I was shimmy Gotta go, bye You had to pull shimmy I pulled a shimmy, huh Bardo Um So let's hear what Eli says about it Eli says

This ep was a warp speed laugh riot That could That's not even the great bird Of the galaxy himself could have imagined Do you know who that is? That is a Star Trek reference I don't know what it is But I know it is

That was an affectionate nickname For Jean Roddenbury The creator of Star Trek Oh, okay So this is a Star Trek fan Great bird of the galaxy Uh, Jack PFT and Tawny A.K.A. Boimler

Uh, Migley Moe Is that how you pronounce your name? That's correct And the Amazing Mariner Are perfect guests I know they all left And some freakin' Insane characters came out

But damn, man Brock Lovett Tirna And the most amazing thing The ghost of Mack Rebonac A.K.A. Dr. John Came back to assure us That we were in the right place

And it was the right time, baby What a very professional-sounding review Yes He went on and said some other stuff That I'm not going to read Like about January 6 It was just the beginning Yeah

But I'm ending it there But let's hear some clips From this episode This is a really fun one Absolutely He said everyone that is involved So let's just hear it This is your

B-b-b-bonus Clip I'm so mad I missed the beginning He's an underwater deep-sea diver I believe Do you dive or do you just travel around in them? Maybe not, really? Do you just go into the like sphere

Kind of thing? What do you call that? The Undo-sphere? Yeah, the Undo-sphere It depends what the specific job is But yeah, sometimes I get out in the water By myself But most times I'm in the Undo-sphere

So you're scooting around in the Undo-sphere Usually I don't call it scooting around Does that have like those carnival game Pick-up arms Where you can pick up the treasure? You know Carnival game pickup arms

You know the kind where it's like You're directing with a joystick I know what you mean But I want you to explain it more But does it have two of those And opposable thumbs in the rest So that you can pick up treasure On the bottom of the ocean

I mean I don't really need opposable thumbs on them It's not like he's going to open a beer or something Could you open a beer in the Undo-sphere? Yeah Okay You're just never going to I mean, it's not wise

That would be so cool to like find a beer You know like a beer that the Titanic You know just Sure You know with some You've got to mention the Titanic I'm sorry I'm sorry

Oh boy But to use both of those two arms And crack open the beer Just be like Of course we've done that It's fun I'm not going to lie But you were lying earlier

You were like You never cracked open a beer In the Undo-sphere In the Undo-sphere With the Undo-sphere Sure With it No

I take my job very seriously This is like what the definition of is Is I allow myself to have a big cigar At the end of a big underwater treasure hunt If I am successful If I'm not I do not have that cigar

Really? Okay He also does sound a little like Bill Clinton So that it wasn't completely I'm sick of hearing that man Sound like another Bill as well I do not sound like Bill Clinton Start putting your thumb up like that

He's from Arkansas I'm from Texas man Oh that's right Let me introduce you Please He is a He doodles around in the Undo-sphere You made it worse

From scootin' to toodlin' Come on man But primarily he is We know him as a treasure hunter That's right He's been on the show many times Too many You may know him as the guy who

Almost found the Something The Cordillamere Cordillamere, yes Ah yes, the Cordillamere Cordillamere, the jewel of the ocean The heart of the ocean He almost found it

But an old lady threw it off the side of a boat Please welcome back to the show Brock, love it Hello She tricked me Yeah Never forget I'm glad she's dead

She kept it underneath that Frilly lace Bodice that she was wearing Frilly lace bodice What am I trying to say The neck What are you trying to say She kept that

She kept it around her neck, right Yeah, it's a necklace And she didn't But no, I'm saying her dress Her nightgown Yeah, her nightgown Was she wearing a nightgown? I don't remember

It was a long time ago Back in the 90s Yeah, back in the 90s It wasn't like memorizing what You know, everyone was wearing When I'm trying to find treasure Wait, turn around What am I wearing

I don't care A barrel with straps That reminds me of the joke I sent into Reader's Digest When I was young Oh, man About a man walking down the road And he sees someone with a shirt he really likes

And he goes, hey, where'd you get that? And the person says, JC Penney And then he walks down the road a little further He sees someone with pants he really likes He goes, hey, where'd you get that? And he says, JC Penney Then he sees someone walking down the road And he sees someone else with a barrel

And two straps And he goes, what's going on with you? And he goes, I'm JC Penney Okay, let's walk through the problems Sure I loved it What do you mean? First of all, the delight on your face

That's a problem Secondly, I mean, it's not clear At first it makes you think, well, wait If he's JC Penney, why is the company doing so poorly When people are buying stuff from him And then you're like, oh, no, no He's just a guy named JC Penney A guy named JC Penney

Now that I'm walking through it, it does have some issues Yeah, the ones I mentioned No, no, no, but I got one more Which is like, did JC Penney only have one shirt And one pair of pants to sell? I guess so And was he waiting around for someone to come and be like, hey You're combining the two problems

What? Into one problem So, okay, the thing is What this guy's trying to say, right? This little kid, by the way When you were a little kid, you wrote this down I'm assuming I didn't write the joke, by the way

I heard the joke and said I'll send it in Or did I write it? I can't remember, anyway Wow You stole the joke and you said, no, this is Reader's Digest Reader's Digest would take all jokes that were old jokes How dare you? But you had to figure it out

It would take all jokes It would take all jokes Not my joke Any joke Any joke you've ever heard Inside jokes with your family Whatever We'll take it

Once we print it before Who cares Rip out the page and send it back to us I like to think that there are literal joke writers Crafting jokes for Reader's Digest I mean, those jokes got to come from somewhere Like street jokes that people tell each other Street jokes

Somebody has to invent that You know that? Yeah, true I invented one when I was a kid You invented a street joke? Yes Why isn't that one in? It was long

In fact, my parents and I had a long discussion About the JCPenney one About would they print a brand name In Reader's Digest Really? They were like, we might not get the rights That's probably why they didn't do it I just remembered that

Anyway, Brock, great to see you Great to see you, I guess Thanks for coming Oh, yeah, no, but what are you here for? What's going on with you, Brock? Have you found any new treasure? No Oh, old treasure?

I haven't found... I mean, most treasure is old treasure Is that what you meant? Did I find anything that became Treasure in the last week? Yeah No Usually it's like...

What's the newest treasure out there? Oh, that's a good question The newest treasure Like microchips? Yeah Microchips are... There's no microchip that's treasure yet When will it be treasure?

Man, probably another hundred years Okay And I'm talking the earliest microchips Oh, okay, got you Like the ones from the... 70s or 80s or something What do you call those? The Texas Instruments

Yeah Right When's it... Those are 50 years old In 100 years, a Texas Instrument microchip will be... Microchip will be... I can't fucking talk to that

Man, I think you're micro-tripping right now I know, I can't goddamn talk to that You're macro-tripping I'm macro-tripping on a major level I've been macro-dosing lately Have you ever tried this? Yeah, you take like a big amount of LSD And then you just take it

Anyway, I'm a little down the dump Yeah, what's going on? No old treasure, no new treasure? What's happening? I don't know where, I can't find any treasure lately Have you been going out into the water? Yeah, of course I have You know that's my whole thing

Yeah, because you like wet treasure I only like treasure that's underwater Under the sea That's right That's where it's hotter Okay I'm sorry to... I feel like you're making light of my

I'm sorry Sad feeling You're very annoyed with Scott Is there like some history here? Well, he's an annoying guy Is there history here? I feel like if you listen to this show You'll notice some people rightfully

Get very annoyed with him I wish Cal saw him in the Northeer And other people have, I don't know A different training, I guess And so they just treat all of his questions Like they're real good questions Yeah, I mean look I was answering his questions earlier

Do I have good training? I mean, I guess you do I mean, he's trying to derail you at every turn He's been to like publicity school And he's, I'm sure Yeah, I have been to publicity school It's a four year program Four years

Yeah, yeah, yeah Four years, just wow There's a whole class on Were there any pranks pulled on the set There's another one about By the way, that is a question Describe the show in three words How do you balance working family?

Who's the biggest prankster on the boys? Is it Carl Urban? Exactly right, actually, yeah Big time Thank you I like saying his name I thought that was a country guy, Carl Urban Carl, no, that's Keith Urban

That's Keith Urban You don't think Are they related? Hold on, hold on, hold on I'm having a flashback right now Everything's lining up Wait, and isn't Keith Urban Is he married to Nicole Kidman?

Is Carl Urban married to Natalie Kidman? I've been working with Natalie Kidman This whole time Wait, why are they the same person now? I don't know I can't fucking talk today He's trying to condense his whole show Doubtfire with his trip

To his parents? Yeah Pretending he's married Hey, did you know Mrs. Doubtfire was based on a book? Yeah, I heard that recently That blew my mind Imagine reading that book Then he has to run into the other room

And put on the makeup again But he only does it half-assed Full chapter on the drive-by fruiting Breaking down the physics of it Do you think like in the book They're like, and the new husband Who looks remarkably like Pierce Brosnan It's a big pitch

Was he a husband? I can't remember I've never seen that movie I think he was a boyfriend, was he not? He was like, trying to horn in Yeah, he was trying to horn in He saw an opportunity Hard

Did he? Trying to horn in on this woman Living her life Yeah Was it Sally Field? Yeah Who ends up with her at the end? I can't believe they get back together

I've never seen No, she's like, no, I love you, Mrs. Doubtfire Oh, so I'm in love with Mrs. Doubtfire And they just bump nubs? And they just bump nubs Whoa Are you saying that he would go so far

Into the character work That he would do something with his genitals? Yeah He put on like a latex prosthetic Or something to make it look like I don't know, that's time consuming It was crazy The whole thing is time consuming

You don't think that what he did already Is not time consuming? That's what I'm saying And then on top of that You're going to make fake genitals? All the details are probably in the book On the off chance Your ex-wife loves you

And loves you and wants to bump nubs I just don't see you, gentlemen Well, it's her first time on the show Please welcome Tirna Hi, Scott Thank you so much Hi, it's so great to meet you I believe, thank you

The word that you're looking for is industry Industry Spectre? No Spectre? James Bond Did James Bond work in the spy spectre? I'm not sure

I try not to watch things that are too scary But what I noticed about you Is that you hesitated over the word Business Industry Because I think it's scepter It's not What am I trying to say then?

The business This is legitimately concerning Sector, sector I said that already But that's okay I feel like Sector One of the things that I've learned

Sector From being in this room Tirna Sometimes you don't have the words that you need Well, I haven't had my words all day It's very difficult to talk this much For so many years Without, you know, fucking up all the time

I get it You might just start bleeding Yeah, oh You might? Yeah, Tirna I hope that's not great Has that ever happened to you? Oh, all the time

Nice to meet you Oh, hi I'm Jack Wade We've met before We have And it was nice then and it's nice again now Where did you meet Jack before? Yeah, when did we meet?

I'm so sorry We met in two swimming pools What? Next to each other Oh, and we like met over the Over the concrete? Over the concrete? Divider, yeah

It was made of bark, actually It wasn't concrete because too many little kids Hit their heads and lost their memories You know, I think I actually do remember this Because I thought it was strange that I mean, there was two like equally sized pools That were like right next to each other With a separator

And I feel like, you know Oh There were so many people in both pools It didn't seem But it was a COVID and a non-COVID pool It was a super spreader So that you could get it if you wanted I forgot about that super spreader event

That I was invited to Oh, yeah, you ended up going to that? Yeah, yeah, it's like Come join us for our super spreader event And I said, I had RSVPDS And I guess so did Tiernan Wait, I had a question Please

I want to know more about these kids That hit their heads and lost their memories Oh, it was a big to-do Like amnesia? Talked about it Yeah, she did too Who were these kids? Oh man

There were so many children From all over the province They all hit their heads Lost their memories And then swimming pools were outlawed For 25 years You said province Is this in Canada?

This is in Canada Are we in Canada? Not currently Boy, I fell asleep on the plane I guess Where did you think you were going? I thought I was going home And then right back around

I do go to the border often That's where I get several types of tulips You can't buy them all Within your own country Like fireworks You know, when you go to Indiana For fireworks Because they don't sell them in your state

That's how I am with different types of flowers When's the last time you got married? Last time Okay What day is it today? I'm worried that Tiernan Is one of these kids who hit her head on the pool I think so, but just

I think she sounds cool Really? Yeah No, she sounds cool She definitely does sound cool Honestly, she looks cool She makes her sense of style Yeah, I mean, just everything about her

I sound and look itchy if you ask me Because I am I feel it and I know it So there are a few things in life That you know more than whether or not You have an itch That's true That's true

If you have one, you're gonna figure it out You'll figure it out fast Unless you have leprosy, right? Well, hey jealousy That's how I feel Whenever somebody has leprosy And I wish I did as well But you know, if wishes were horses

We'd all be cowboys So we have to figure out a way To be content within ourselves And that's what I'm here to Eventually talk about Okay Yeah, interesting Tiernan Guys, she needs help

What? I think she's on a roll Not with being cool She looks, she's so cool Yeah, the sunglasses? Damn And when she took off the sunglasses That made her even cooler

And then when she put the sunglasses on her head I was like, it can't get cooler But then she put them on her feet And I was like, that's even cool I thought it was gonna be done It worked, it worked It worked, she pulled it off Anyway

Anyway Well Anyway, singing in the rain The next person coming on the show Uh oh Yes, no we Are you taking over? Tiernan, please

It's best for, I think for your self-esteem Say more, say more If I do it Yeah, so You know this person from Music In New Orleans Where they made music

But they died But they're back They died? They died Oh no, is this a ghost? Yeah, and I'm scared of it A good ghost? But I'd love to meet

Dr. John And such a knight Hey How's everybody going? How's everybody going? We've got fusion Dr. John's favorite catchphrase How's everybody going?

I love that Cajun lingo How's everybody going? He would say it at the beginning Of every concert too You go down to Bourbon Street At like 12 o'clock You hear a lot of how's it going How y'all going?

Well, I even say I forgot I can't talk today How's it going? I believe How's it going? How's it going? Yeah Hey, the ghost of Dr. John

What's going on? So, ready to meet you You passed away relatively recently Yeah, relatively recently You remember when? You know, I don't remember Because Why would you compare?

I don't have a time when I was passing away Because you don't remember the day of your own death No, it just suddenly happens to you, right? No, it's just like Oh, oh, spaghettios And you were out of here You don't remember the day you died? No, no

What's the last day you remember? The last day I remember I was I don't know, I was on a roof And I just had like a nice Benye in my hand And I was going Get out of my Get off my property

To some kids that kind of Crossed over the wall I got a big wall on my property And I said get out of here And I had to get on the roof Because they were so tall And That's the last thing I remember before

You know, I woke up in this astral plane Oh my god, so you died Somehow being on a roof Yeah, and that's why I'm here today Oh, that's why you're here today Yeah, I mean, I got some Unfinished business I want to

Will this help you ascend Into the homeland? Yeah, into the homeland Everybody's naked there But nobody cares So here's the deal Walt Disney Corporation Walt Disney Corporation

Told me I'd be out of the princess Or the frog in Princess and the Frog They've been up to a lot lately Yeah A lot of tricky business Especially in Florida Oh man Don't even get me started

I am up to date on current events I just can't remember the day that I died Okay, you should just go check I read the paper, the ghost paper Every day Oh yeah Is that about ghosts? Or just for ghosts?

It's about ghosts, but like There's a little column in the back That says, you know what? In the model world, this happened Like I know about like January 6th Instead of obituaries, do they have births? Yeah, they're like This person was born today

They're gonna cause some shit Eventually they'll get here When ghosts get new agents and stuff? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of breaking stories About like, oh man They got poached by UTA Sometimes they just say Someone's been offered a role

Which is wild to be like Yeah, it hasn't even been accepted They've been offered the role Do you think that's to shame them Into accepting it? Yeah, like they're like Oh shoot, the ghost paper reported And I gotta do it

Yeah Were you ghosts all upset When that movie Casper came out? Oh, pissed off Yeah, in the sixth sense Even though you were alive When that came out I was not currently dead

When Casper was out Were you mad though? I was mad when I became a ghost I was like, wait a second This is a fence That was the first thing you thought of When you became a ghost Yeah, when I died

I did not remember What happened to me on that roof And then I said to myself Casper was a little bit rough Yeah Didn't age well And then I was dead Were you upset that it didn't age well?

It didn't age well for ghosts I mean, obviously at the time Everyone loved it But then with the benefit of hindsight You look back and you're like Wait a minute You couldn't make it today This is a family movie about a dead child

It would be real Bonus Clip Alright, that was a really fun bonus clip During that we found out That Tirna, played by Tawny Newsom Was a malignant, apparently Because she had come in shimmy style

A malignant She had come in shimmy style earlier As someone who loves talking about music Because we were talking about music And when we stopped talking about music She left And then she became She was Tirna

You heard Tirna be a very confused individual We then established that She was a malignant If you haven't seen malignant Check it out When she turned around She was the other character And I like Jack Quaid's commitment

To doing characters Jack Quaid is another person We talked about Tatiana Maslani Being a fan and then being on the show Jack was another person Who I believe was a fan as a kid Listening as a teenager And now he's been on the show

And the first time he was on the show Was to promote Star Trek And I never expect the celebrities To ever then do characters No, I mean I can't I'm trying to think of anybody else who... Every once in a rare while Someone will say

You don't want me to do a character to you And I go, no, no, don't worry You just yourself They're very frightened of it But Jack was one with... His very first episode He came on and said Okay, and then I'm gonna come back

And I'm gonna be this character And he just really wanted To do another character And it's been great Every episode he's done He's done a character on it And it's really fun Yeah, it's really fun to hear him do that

And of course his... Catchphrase, how's everybody going? Alright, let's take a break When we come back I promise we're gonna crack the top ten Okay, are you happy now? Dildos? Alright, Dildos

We'll see you We'll be right back With more comedy bang bang after this Comedy bang bang We're back Oh man, we're back And we're... Can you believe we're gonna do it?

I can't believe it I mean, we... Most best ofs are ten If you're lucky If you're lucky Sometimes it'll be two That's a bad show Best of

Here's two clips We've done three episodes Let's do a best of One sucked The other two are okay Here they are But we're gonna crack the top ten now This is so freakin' awesome

So look, the other seven That you've heard about They're fine They're fine And you know what I wanted to say About the bonus clip? I really... When that person got chosen by random

I was like, oh, let's see what they chose And they chose that episode, Startune Cartoon And I was like, well, it's not in the top 17 And in fact, it was gonna be number 22 Is where it landed on the actual countdown But I listened back to it to pull the clip And in my opinion, it's just as good

As any of the other episodes Really funny stuff in it That's what was so good about this year Was even the stuff that isn't in the top... That's why we did a top 17 Yeah, but it's not... It's top ten for a reason Do you know what I mean?

I know It's that people know of a top 10 I know, but there's so many good episodes Is what I was trying to say Oh, sure I could have done a top 50 Oh, sure, but that's... Then you're talking about...

That would be stupid Stupid That's every episode except for two of them It's stupid And... It's stupido, as Maharie would say As Maharie says It's stupido

He mutters it under his breath at Donkey Kong It's stupido Even though... That's Spanish I'm realizing that But, hey Not out of character for Mario To do something like that, I would say

No, what? Didn't... Didn't in a recent... Like the most recent Mario Brothers game He's just bafangoo, listen Bafangoo Bafangoo Alright, let's just do it

Let's crack the top 10 This is your choice for episode number 10 Number 10 Alright The numbers are normal, too This is why top 10 is the best It's the most desired real estate in a countdown Alright, this is episode 765

Okay, so we're in the mid to early 700s Early, late 700s Early, late 60s? It's not so far from 750s Early, late, 700s

I see what you're saying Yes, you're right This is from July 11th, 2022 And this is an episode Entitled, Pirate Ship Energy Pirate Ship Energy Let me tell you who's involved Do you have

Adam Pally? Yes Adam Pally, who people will know from Happy Endings As well as The show with John Gabriel Who also was there They were promoting their show Which is called 101 Places to Party

Before You Die, I believe Correct, correct We have Ben Rogers Correct And we have Lisa Gilroy There we go Dynamite lineup Dynamite lineup

Dynamite, dynamite This was the episode Adam and John They had their TV show So John is usually Comes on as his one character Intern Gino He's done two other characters over the years But once

Once in England he did one Lord Dennis Meir I think for about five minutes No, it's me Gino But he did do another character once One of the sports guys One of the sports guys Yeah, that was with

I don't recall, but you can look it up Paul, you can look it up I'm welcome to do my own research But he was playing himself Because he had a television show to promote So that was fun He did go do Gino During this episode

He went and did Gino We're going to hear Ben Rogers doing Jack Furze Did I talk about Jack Furze? Did he make the countdown before? I believe he has Okay I believe he has

So I told the story of how Jack Furze came about Which was Ben Auditioning for the Between Two Ferns movie The only thing we gave Auditioners was You work for a local news station Doing something That was it

And he came in as a cameraman Who very obviously It was a Peter Parker situation Was taking pictures and video Of vigilante named the Night Wolf So he's been on the show Several times in his The lore of the Night Wolf

Expands every time he's on the show It's such a funny character It's so funny It's such a great idea So we're going to hear some of that Some of the Jack Furze Night Wolf saga Then John Gabriel says Gino And then Lisa Gilroy

This is her first time on the countdown It's going to be Bethany Waterbottle And that's pretty crazy So we're going to hear two clips Jack Furze and Bethany Waterbottle Let's hear it This is your number 10 Let's talk to him

He's been on the show before He's a photographer Welcome back to the show, Jack Furze Hey, Scott Hey Thanks so much for having me Hey, Jack Great to see you

Yeah, I'm still Very salad Before you came in here by any chance A lot of seeds in that salad Is that better? Yeah A lot Crystal

Crystal clear Great Hey, great to see you, Jack This is Adam This is John How's it going? Hey If you guys ever need a camera person

On the show Yeah, you were talking You were complaining about your camera guy I heard I fucking nailed that shit I mean, that's my job You're a photographer You're a photographer as well

That's right I do more photojournalism Oh, nice Do you do every party photography Because we're hopefully going to be able To have a premier party for the show And could you take some shots That'd be great

Yeah, I could set up some cameras If it's a high crime area You might want to look out I don't know where you're throwing this party But a lot of these parties Are in some pretty dicey locations And I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about No, I don't

And I don't want to know This is a conversation I hear A lot from my uncle And I'm scared where this is going I don't know why that has anything To do with photojournalism Well, I'm just following stories If it bleeds, it leads

You cover the crime beat, mainly I mostly do the crime beat Yeah, don't read into it too much That makes way more sense It makes way more sense Usually, I mean Hey, you guys seem hopped up And I don't know what

So maybe you're looking into things A little too much Adam and I got very high Before we worked together Just a little I'm wearing a tie-dye t-shirt So it gives off the impression Yeah, no

Some of the other camera guys Are into the tie-dye shit Me, not so much I... Sorry, the other guys Are into tie-dye Like wearing it Like wearing it

And they're appreciating it They wear it, they make it They make it They sell it? They sell it They're doing all sorts of crazy shit Some of these other fucking whack jobs I run into at the local stations

I don't know how these guys Look through a lens finder And find their own fucking feet Not like you though You're not a tie-dye guy I'm not a tie-dye guy I don't have time for it Let's describe what it is

For these guys It is time-consuming to make To buy, to wear To buy or wear That's almost all Well, it's time-consuming to wear You've been wearing that for about You know, half an hour at this point

Yeah, whole day So it's very time-consuming Half an hour We've been talking for 40 minutes You bought the shirt I didn't want to get in your naked A little too flashy too I came in like Terminator

I came in fully naked And pulled that off a dead hippie When I shoot your guys' show Wait, I'm gonna blow you in And thanks for bringing me aboard I really needed a job You have no idea I have no idea what your studio set is

But you have no idea how You are probably better than 50% of the people What? Are you Ayatsi? I'm in multiple unions And if not, I'm in good standing That's good I don't know what that means

The interesting thing about your style Is a lot of it It's sort of, I don't know What you would call a verite Or something But it's normally like It seems like the camera Is affixed to a building

And stationary in a way Yeah, quite often The camera is kind of linked On a rooftop Right And just catching something in the frame Catching things that fly by Like this guy at Night Wolf

I've talked about him before on this show Oh yeah, you mentioned him on this show A couple of times Yeah, I won't get into it I'm not gonna waste everybody's time But there is a guy kind of cleaning up the streets A little bit called the Night Wolf And he's a bit of a vigilante

And I don't know why anybody's not talking to him And it might be cool if he showed up on your show I've never heard of the Night Wolf Well, he's a Los... Have you done your Los Angeles episode? We have not done an LA episode Oh, he would come up On the Los Angeles episode probably

People would probably be talking about him locally I had never heard of him Is he like a super power thing? Or is he like a Batman? You know what, that's... Like a vengeance Batman Yeah, it's kind of both Oh yeah

Does he have super powers? I don't know that this has ever come up I think like magic As far as like courage goes In a way, that's a bit of a superpower To me, I think his courageousness And his bravery is... And his intelligence perhaps

But for sure That's a good point He seems smart as hell Is he even like a mutate? Like can he like walk through walls Or like or fly? Or is there any sort of like Metaphysical?

It's a mystery, Adam We don't really know You're just guessing at this point Because you're in the media And you've caught him on tape a few times You're one of the only people who has managed to catch my thing I'm the only guy who's really been able to grab him And that's just so...

So a guy named Jack Furz The only guy who's caught the Night Wolf It's Furz Okay, never mind then I thought I was going to connect with it With the Z Well, I'm familiar with the surname Furz Yeah, of course

Have you heard about this guy, the cross puzzler? No, the cross puzzler Yeah, really What is that? Who is that? Well, he's got me in a bit of trouble, Scott He sent these threatening puzzles to the mayor And some other city officials Yeah, Garcetti himself

And they're full of... I guess if you answer these crossword puzzles It's kind of a challenge to the Night Wolf And if they would have answered them correctly It would have really put the Night Wolf into the headlines But some of these questions It's almost as if the cross puzzler Just put it into a computer program

And it had multiple options And they can kind of equal some pretty scary stuff And these guys thought their lives were threatened And somehow the federal authorities Traced it back to me, Jack Furz That's weird Yeah, how did they trace it back to you? God, I don't know

This is some sort of conspiracy Did the cross puzzler... Like, oh, this is a level that... My cross puzzler, by the way, is Jesus Christ Yeah, I hope so He's always like, what are you doing? I don't think he figured that thing out How does this thing work?

Ouch Bethany, you're a 14 year old bully It's Bethany Sorry, Stephanie Bethany That's what I said, didn't I? Like Beth, like Bethlehem That's what I said, Bethany

Bethany What am I saying wrong? Bethany water bottles, say it, pig Bethany water bottle Alright, you got it Okay, great So you're a 14 year old bully from the UK Yeah, from London Town

And who do you bully? Everyone I can get me ends on You know why? As I said before, government can't stop me Because I'm from the water bottle family My dad, the sanny, my mum, Fuji My uncle, Avian You can't mess with us, can you?

They work there? They can do all the cash in the water shop Their first names are the brands of all the water bottles My sister Crystal Geyser My other sister, Valley Spring Oh my god, you're so connected I know what sister is cheap there Excuse me

Excuse me, pull down your trousers These trousers? Okay Let me touch the eyeball And I just use hand sanny There's a little burn for your pig Should I pull up my trousers now? And trousers are pants, right?

I'm gonna stop filming this So you've come to our country to bully us? What exactly, I'm trying to get a handle on you What exactly are you here for? I guess I'm on a bullying rampage Because I can't be stopped And my family don't care, do they? Everybody got a wobble name

Except for me, Bethany, adopted Oh, so you were adopted, really? Oh, I'm so sorry So your family adopted you so they wouldn't have to pay you So they needed an employee They weren't dying for another child They already had your sister's arrow head in Poland Spring Crystal Geyser

Crystal Geyser is one of the only fans accounts I follow She throws a tarp down and then makes a mess Excuse me What do you say about my sister? Put your trousers back on Okay, put it back on Jesus Christ I'm a little sweaty so it's hard to pull them up and down that much Pull them up higher

Okay, how's this? Does it hurt? I feel like a high school offensive line coach With my shorts this high I got this foopa going Keep them up really high and everyone else take your pants Completely off and put them in my basket I'm not putting my pants in your basket

Because I can tell you're gonna take me off a couple more times So better spare me, say and take off your trousers Here we go I've got random furry stuff underneath my pockets Just to let everybody know I lost a bet earlier this morning Oh, I understand Yeah, alright, let's take our pants

Here we go In the pants basket they are Alright, there we are I'm over here touching my own eyes I learned something I like over here These trousers stink, don't I? I mean, one of them I think does Okay

That could be anybody I think it's you, Jack I'm wearing a lot of layers today I just guessed the weather wrong L.A. is crazy like that It's cold in the morning That's famous, L.A. is famous For the weather being hard to nail down

So are you traveling to other countries To try to get a message out or are you I mean, what are you doing while you're here? I mean, how long are you here? So many questions Good question, Scoot You know what I'm doing Oh, man, I'm hurt

She's a fucking professional bully She's got cuts to the core I'm on a bullying rampage I guess because I've had my feelings Haven't been really included in my family So going on a world tour to cause as much pain As I've felt in it Years and years

Working in the factory for my families And adopted little Bethany You know, in the top of a water bottle There's a little white lid on it Speak when it's spoken to me Here's your trousers back, come on Oh, shit Okay, I'll put it back on

Those are Jack's trousers Oh, yeah Yeah, put on the stinky ones They smell like smoke bombs Just FYI Now, Bethany, I had a quick question You said you work for the crime family In the water bottle factory

The water bottle family Is a bit of a crime family Because they know the water supply Is going to dry up And then they're going to be like The different sections of a mafia Ohhh La Costa knows that

But because they haven't given me a proper title I'm just out here on my own Like I said, he's a work in the factory Putting a little white lid on But you know the pot that's like The little ring around the white lid Yeah, they connect it The bed tears away when he's inside

Trousers up, round your neck Oh, shit Oh, God Now he's hard again Well, that was my job as a layman Can I put my trousers around mine, Nick? No, you may not Well, okay

I'm doing it anyway for kicks I was the only one in my family With fingers little enough To put the little ring around On top of the water bottle Oh, Bethany Oh, this is some snowpiercer shit Getting there, working bones off

Why aren't you, Bethany? Can you blame me When after ten years of that All I want to do is Oh, frisky claps And pay on donuts And dick slaggers And trousers, huh?

You started doing that At the age of four? Hey, your parents Is your dad dead? Hey, you shouldn't ask someone that Oh, sorry Only you should ask He just passed

Oh, no The CBB curse strikes again Did he kill himself Because his name was Fuji And that is in a water bottle? My mom's name's Fuji My dad's Dasani My uncle Evian

My sister Crystal Guy My other sister Alex Bring me brother Tap Tap Oh, man I'd hate to be tap Tap You know what?

The sad thing about tap Stillborn Oh But you still bring them up When people ask you about your feelings No, he's not dead, is he? Just stillborn Oh, he still was born

He's not sparkling, is what I'm saying Oh, I understand now Number 10 Yes Wasn't there a previous episode with Lisa? No This is her This is the first one?

Her first... She did one other episode this year Which did not make the top 17 Sorry, I remember... Yes, okay I remember now why I was confused It's an internal thing And of no concern to the listener

You have cancer? Yeah, I have internal cancer The worst kind No one can see it so they don't believe me Oh, I'm like that writer No, this is Lisa's debut on the Countdown Crackin' the top 10 And...

Yeah, very funny Lisa is a relatively new addition To the podcast She did one episode the year before With Christian Brune Oh And maybe you? I can't remember

But definitely Christian No, because I met her for the first time Recently, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah So... That was very funny And... After those clips, by the way, Adam Pally

Then came back on as Johnny Depp Who had just been... Called innocent or whatever he was She took me on the dole It's very funny The whole episode is very funny I mean, you got four great people Who have great energy

And everyone is funny all the way Hold on a second, Scott You made a mistake Five great people Oh, who else was there? You Oh, I forgot about... That's right

I forgot about Dre You're an important part of the show Oh, that's true Never forget it I won't forget it Do I do this show? I immediately forgot Is he saying Jeremy Pippin?

I threw that into a show the other day Someone had the exact same reaction I was like, does he sing Jeremy Pippin? And someone said, does he sing Jeremy Pippin? I was like, wow, it still works Why was he asking that in the first place? I don't know I forget how it started

What a weird thing to want to know It was Zach said it Oh, right Does he sing Jeremy Pippin? Who cares? That's right Here's your answer Who gives a shit?

All these years later Let me give a legitimate answer to your question Who cares? Good episode And good to hear from Lisa Good episode Who's been a great addition Alright, let's take a break

When we come back We have one more clip to play We'll be... We're in the top ten now, baby We're about to crack the top nine We're in the good stuff We'll be right back with more comedy Bang bang after this

Comedy bang bang Still here We're still here Still standing Better than we ever did We're still standing I watched that Elton John from Dodger Stadium show Did you watch that?

No, how was it? It was good He still is an amazing pianist He still sounds great Anytime he gets up to walk He looks like he's in incredible pain He's like a little infirm How old is he now?

152 Well, God bless him Yeah Pretty lady He was a... Famously got his stage name From sitting on a toilet What?

John No I believe so What? His name is Reggie Something Reginald Dwight Reginald Dwight And he was trying to come up

With a stage name And he was sitting on a toilet He's like John That's... I refuse to believe And David Bowie Was sitting on a Bowie knife That's how it works

His real name, of course, David Jones That's right, Davey Jones He couldn't be Davey Jones Because of the monkeys Because of the monkeys Yes Where... Davey Jones's real name is David Bowie

It's so strange They could have just They could have been themselves Yes, they should have talked to each other Yeah But they didn't have each other's number No Yeah

No They're both English though There were not that many phones in England at the time So they might not even have phones If you've seen Downton Abbey You know that episode Where they finally install a phone They're like

Why would anyone want to contact us at all? There were three phones Yeah In 1967 Yeah, yeah, yeah In all of England Yeah And they all called each other

All the time They didn't necessarily have anything To sit with each other Or like each other But it's like What else are you going to do? Yeah If you got this phone

Exactly It's like It's fun to talk on the phone though It's fun to talk on the phone Let's call one of the other Two people who have phones God, I can't stand talking on the phone I used to love it

I know I used it for hours Yes And now It's the worst thing in the world Now if somebody calls me I'm like Who's calling me?

Who the fuck would ever? Fun detour Yeah My mom called me Don't call me mom I'm assuming Don't call me your mother I'm assuming it's bad news

True Text me to give me a heads up That you just wanted to talk One of my sisters would leave She used to leave messages like that They were like Hey call me when you can And it was never bad news

But it always sounded like You know I have to talk to you Because someone has died I I've not revealed this story by the way You know when I broke my ankle? This is a sclucey?

Famously I've told the story on three of them Of how much I broke A sclucey from you see Yes Of how I broke my ankle I've never revealed this detail Right before

The game of pickleball that I was playing I got a text from my mom that said We are in crisis mode over here You know you did I did tell you this Okay this is typical freedom We're in crisis mode We're in crisis mode

We're in crisis mode over here Are you sure I didn't just tell you this personally? Maybe you did Okay And so I was distracted by that Crisis mode Because they're both older

Yes And I was like Oh no and I wrote back What's going on And then I turned on my phone So I could hear if she happened to call Or text or something But then I waited around for a bit

I was like okay let's just start the game I broke my I was playing pickleball I went for a ball I broke my ankle And the minute I did I went Ah And suddenly she called

And I had to hobble over to the phone To see what had happened to them And their printer had run out of paper Crisis On infinite printers So if you are a parent out there And an elderly parent Don't say you're in crisis mode

No When it's about a fucking printer Let me say this Very quickly Sports with the name ball in them Yeah Are Mostly they're terribly named

Basketball? Absolutely There's always a ball in them I'm gonna say basketball Or just call it basket I think basketball is okay But baseball no Base

Bat ball would be better Oh wait So you like the ball part I'm saying You don't like the descriptor Of what type of ball it is I'm saying if you're gonna Yeah

I'm saying if you're gonna Baseball Basketball makes sense Cause it's like you throw this ball In the basket Baseball could have been called Running bases But that's a different game

What about stadium ball? Well then you're not Yeah Okay Cause you hit the ball into the stadium Much like you throw the ball Into the basket for basketball Football should be called tackle

Yeah Should just be called tackle Goal ball Touchdown ball Touchdown ball? Sure I like touchdown ball Touchdown ball

Touchdown ball Let's play some touchdown ball Touchdown ball But football doesn't make it any sense When they already knew There was another sport called football I know and not only that But you don't even fucking

Use your feet all that much One guy does One little guy does And not even well No He sucks He sucks He fucking sucks

He sucks Get rid of him Alright Let's crack the top nine Here it is This is your choice for episode number nine Number nine Alright

This is an episode Number 755 We are really early in the mids In the early mids Yes And it's from May 2, 2022 And I don't know if that says anything to you May to win

What? May to win 2022 May to win No May to When does it end? May to to

1159 on May 2 That's a long episode Starts at 1201 This is an episode called The 13th Anniversary Show Oh boy oh boy Yes You know

These anniversary shows They're bananas Some people say They should be excluded from Competition because Because they're so packed They're so packed with people That it's hard not to vote for them

But I'll tell you what What do you feel about that? These two are not that high up on the countdown I mean you had number 13 And number nine So I mean I think I think that's pretty representative I think

I think they're funny I listen to them all I mean of course But I mean They're so stacked That it's like Should they be Should they be excluded from

Competition because I don't think so I don't think so Okay That's all I'm asking I don't think so People love these episodes Well it's through the live episodes

And sometimes they're higher And sometimes they're lower I Truly I wish that We were able to throw the live episodes We did We did 20

Some odd live shows this year And they're all up on CBBworld.com And I was going to have a separate poll For what was your favorite live episode And it just didn't happen Plus we're doing a top 17 We have enough And a bonus

We have enough stuff Some very defensive Fuck you You personally No that's how it took it Alright this was The 13th anniversary show from May 2 We had been in the backyard for

Now four months at this point And this was our first Almost out of exposure Our first hypothermia This is our first in studio Episode back after the backyard era We're going to hear A bunch of clips from this

We're going to hear Dan Lippert as Bill Walton Okay these are the people involved At least some of them Dan Lippert Paul F is in it Lily Sullivan

Tim Baltz Ago Wodum This is her first time on the countdown Sean Diston and Will Hines We're going to hear Bill Walton That's Dan Lippert as Bill Walton The basketball announcer

And former player Excuse me I always cough when I say Bill Walton It's weird Oh you didn't just then That's good And we're going to hear from

Big Chunky Bubbles That's Paul as Big Chunky Bubbles Who is a soup artist Soup bubble artist Soup bubble artist We're going to hear Francesca Bolognese That's Lily Sullivan

I'm so hungry right now And I wish I hadn't heard that name Well hey We're going to take a lunch break after this It actually made my stomach hurt You have I don't think we're going to hear A clip from this

But Tim Baltz is doing a new character Richie Castlebaum And then we're going to hear Ago doing Pasta Pasta So let's hear those clips This is your number nine Number nine

Please welcome back To the show Bill Walton Hello Bill Oh yeah Thirteen And feeling me Scotty Oz Turn down your phones everyone

Turn down your phones Wow How are you Bill Oh What a fantastic day What a fantastic 13th year I cannot wait I have already mangled

My Microphone stand You spoke so loud The microphone stand broke Yes Is that what happens An old cartoons When people sang opera

Glasses would shatter When I speak Microphone stands Go slightly awry This is one of the great anniversaries Is it not One of the best anniversaries I hate to set you up here

One of the best we've ever seen From the The silver anniversary Which is one of my favorites To To Oh let's see I know we all need to help out

We all need to chip in The anniversary party Oh yes One of the great Slow played Marbles of theater Written by I believe the fantastic

Let me pull this name out real quick He did betrayal He's not a house painter But you take off a letter and he's House painter Oh I'm sorry no in the painter word Oh yes Harold paint

One of the great And we take a quick beat As the jokes would do If you're in the theater school Harold painter Pause One of the great painters Yes one of the great painters

But he did not paint houses He painted emotional trauma Onto stage As played by some of the Fantastics Not Joel Gray of course One of the great greys

From 50 shades of From 50 shades of to Zanatomy Did she play Michi? Zanatomy is Michi Happy anniversary Lucky 13 Many hamburgers to you of course

Big chunky bubbles Big chunky bubbles That's my name I feel like I haven't spoken to you since Perhaps a live episode Three years ago before the pandemic I don't keep track of when I talk to you Surprise surprise

Who do you keep track of that you talk to? Well my wife My kids Give me the stats on your wife's chats Well you know she's past Oh that's right What happened there? I still talk to her

Oh I see Do you make a trip out to the graveyard Or do you just do it around the house? Oh fuck Which answer would you like To make fun of more? Mr. Sensitive I just find it interesting that most people

You know they think that if they're not In the graveyards you know like ten feet Radius of the actual How do you ten feet? Six feet six feet sorry Who's standing six feet away From the grave to talk to it? I mean meaning they're six feet down

What? Six feet under my dear boy Yeah I get that One of the great Series finales of all time Wouldn't you say Scott? Sure Six feet under

From the end of Lost Which we all loved to the Beginning of Lost Which was a finale to my Free time on Tuesday nights So big junky bubbles How is your pandemic? We haven't spoken since before

How is my pandemic? Yes What do you want me to ask? Have you gotten Have you gotten less good At interacting with people Since quarantine? You're trying to say that of course it was bad

And so why am I even asking? Of course it was Well that's not strictly true It was actually pretty good for me So then it's a good question Shut up Why was it good for you big junky bubble? Because I was

You don't have to say my whole stage name Every time I'm sorry PD You can call me PD That's my name PD Amin PD Amin PD

First of all Before we go into How your pandemic was Which I hear is pretty good For new listeners You are an artist There can't be new listeners to this show No we're just shedding

Listeners like the virus Like the uterine lining You are a person Why is that the first thing I think of When I hear the word shedding I don't have a period Why should I be thinking that? Why does that rattle it around

And you're not I don't like it Oh big junky Everyone should be sympathetic To the shedding of the uterine lining Yeah It affects At least half of the world's population

Well it affects the other half Of when you can have sex or not So And a little lesson about Scotty Boy Not for Bill Walton I'm in there A night shed or not

It's not about sympathy It's just I don't want to think About it all the time All the time Well when I hear the word shedding How many times are people saying shedding I don't know a lot I know a lot of people who have snakes

Okay That's another thing That I want to talk to you about At some point But not today Sure But you are an artist You perform

At children's parties I'm a children's entertainer And you What distinction Were you going to make I can't remember If you've performed At adult parties either

But you Simply do children parties I'm primarily At children's entertainer And you You entertain them By making giant bubbles They're big chunky bubbles

That's right That I make out of soups and stews Instead of soaps Instead of soaps And maybe there's a stews Parallel as well Instead of soaps and Soat?

Stews? I don't know But You really don't You're making soups and stews I Yes I'm making soups and stews

Then I make bubbles From those soups and stews They are bigger And healthier Than any other bubble That's right And I know it is

It doesn't go well You've scalded Hey How many How many children Have you scalded with your I have never Well

With your piping hot soups I have hardly ever Scalded anyone Because I issue Warnings at the top Of the performance For people to stay back Also I know

What I'm doing It's my trade Right Yes So how many How many people Five At all career

At one party Or at five different parties At five At three different parts Three different parts So two at Two of those parties You want me to give you the

Breakdown Yes please Well it would have to be two Two at one party Okay Two at another party Yeah One

At the final party Yeah What I said Yeah Exactly Okay At the final party Congrats

Did you say the final party Are you not doing this The final party Where So tell me about About the pandemic What happened Why was it so great for you

Well at the wet markets In Wuhan Oh dear Oh no Oh boy Wait how much do you know Zero I mean I know that the

Pandemic they say It started there Well the thing about Wet markets is There's a lot of bubbles And bubbles pop I didn't think about that No one ever does

Well you were there No What What happened What do you mean Do you not know Anything about the pandemic I was thinking that you were

Saying you were the person who Brought it over here to the State Why would I Hey let's say I was Why would I tell anyone So what are you trying to say I thought you were just

Completely ignorant of what Happened You were going all the way Yes God damn it I hate you I hate you too Well thankfully I've stopped Using bat in all my recipes

Oh yes Okay yeah there was a period For Halloween I wouldn't Make a bat challenge Well big chunky bubbles It's a pleasure to have You're already winding down Why do you

What else do you have What else do I have We went through so many detours Thanks to you Talking about my grandmothers Let's get to what you want to Get to I want to let people know

I've started doing shows For grown ups What Yes This is unprecedented You've never done this That's right Bill If you come to one of my shows

I'll make sure to stack up Eight regular chairs For you to sit on Oh baby baby I gotta say Edible or not those soups Are going in my mouth The second the month

No no Yes sir Try and stop me Well I've started making New bubbles that New shapes of bubbles New shapes That are only suitable

For adults These are a little Salty Boy Well they're definitely salty I mean Your soups are I don't know why

I still season them I don't need to Since they're not edible But what shapes are these The mind reels When I think about it Well I mean

You can imagine some of them right Like Giant balls Yes I mean most bubbles Look like Giant testicles Yeah but when you put

Two together Two together But the secret is You can't have them Interlock Because that's just Two bubbles That are interlocking

Right You have to make it Have the two bubbles Have the same relationship To each other That human testicles would Right Okay do you ever do

Just one ball And you're like This is Hitler And you get a big laugh To ever introduce Hitler into the show Cause you're a weirdo BCB

I'm a weirdo I haven't mentioned Hitler to you Once He is a He's a clergy person In the ministry Trying to get out there

And save people And Also an Enthusiast Of a certain type of food Please welcome back to the show Pasta Pasta Pasta Pasta

Pasta Pasta Sorry I can never know how Never quite remember How to pronounce it And you say it like My identity is separate Also an enthusiast of pasta But I'm an enthusiast

Because I'm a pasta What's that track For you Scott I suppose so Yes and I apologize I didn't mean to offend you But all God's people said Fusilli

Fusilli All right Now for those of you Who haven't heard Pasta Pasta What the hell are you doing Yeah go back and just Pause this one

For those of you who haven't heard Pause the episode And go back and listen To the others And your thing is basically You are a minister Who also enjoys pasta Scott why are you acting

Like you don't know Scott I didn't come here To be antagonistic with you Of course you didn't But it seems inevitable Why you gotta act confused About my identity

I'm not confused I'm Or am I getting the facts wrong What do you tell me What am I not saying I love pasta Right I'm also a pasta

Right Who preaches about pasta Right Understand I understand it now Yes it's full circle Very good Very good

Are you doing this on Sundays I don't know if we've ever talked about What day you're out there Sundays Saturdays Mmm Sometimes Wednesdays Sometimes Wednesdays

Yes Other days I rest Okay That's a lot of time off On the other four days He rested Yes I have always thought that

Being a minister Or being a You know a pastor Or anything like that Like you're working one day a week Yeah It's a pretty sweet gig Right

Well no I would say it's not a sweet gig And honestly Scott I don't mean to bring the mood down here At this beautiful toy investigation Oh no We've been having so much fun We've been hearing music

It's been music You heard a song Yeah The two things Music and a song Yeah Music is part of songs Generally speaking

Sure Some say they're synonymous I would almost say that If a song came on in their Oh sorry Rigatoni If a song came on in There wasn't music in it

I would pass You would just a cappella No there'd be music in that Okay sure Oh you mean instrumentation Sure Sure I do mean that

I like you today I like you too Okay very good It's good to have you on We're celebrating the 13th anniversary And you have something That you want to bring Well this isn't so much a celebration

But maybe for my enemies Okay My doctor has told me I have 45 minutes to live No From now or from when he told you From now He said the minute you step on

And start talking on that podcast You got 45 minutes to live This is like a speed situation This is a speed situation Scott He said my cholesterol is so high From eating pasta From eating pasta And I said I am not going to stop

Eating pasta Over my dead body While I start eating pasta Yeah you brought some You brought like Literally Yeah you brought a whole bunch Of to-go containers

Different types of pasta I came here The doctor told me Don't come here Right He told me not to come here He said it's not good for my health Or my blood pressure

Or my cholesterol Right But you still came here Because I care Scott Thank you so much I care about you I know we've had our differences But I care about you

You're another one of these guys I haven't really liked all that much But we don't work together I come here gratis Yes that's true Yeah I come here gratis Everybody else coming gratis

Anybody getting paid Hey when you're in the kitchen Can you make us some gratis Oh You're an asshole Wow How do you like it? The enemy of my enemy

Is my friend I thought I'ma just come out and say it I'ma just come out You don't have much time left on this earth Just lose the filter Y'all wanna talk about the Simpsons Her mother What was your favorite Simpsons episode

My favorite Simpsons Episode Yeah episode or person I like Bart Yeah I like Bart What do you like about Bart Good character

Probably one of the best characters One of the top five I like how prominent he was See when you watch a show You like whoever has the most lines I count episode by episode And over time he had most of the lines He had the most lines

Yeah Homer was really rivaling him Once they figured out what was funny about him Sure sure sure But I'm riding for Bart to the day I die Which is today in a couple minutes Oh no Number nine

We also heard from Gary the Gardner After that That's Sean Diston Who was playing the Gardner Who was always leaf blowing During the backyard era That's right And then Wilhine's debut a character

Named Keith Stanley The punk rocker That he brought on tour as well And also on that episode The band the Canadian band Stars Did music and so They were What more could you ask for

An incredible episode This was the episode where I hadn't done big chunky bubbles in a while And I wasn't quite doing the voice correctly I think you adjusted at some point Yeah But it was I remember Not because I did not listen

To an episode before I did it Because I was like And then When I listen back to it I remember in the moment feeling like Oh I'm not nailing this This is it Well on tour

What maybe a lot of people don't know is If you were You did a different character On every stop of the tour We did almost 30 of it I can't remember I also tried not to repeat in cities Yeah

But I did once But you would listen back To previous episodes Right before you went on stage To make sure that you were getting the voice right A paranoid about it Would you just A paranoid about it

A paranoid about it What did you say? A paranoid about it Oh you're a paranoid about it Okay That was really fun Good to have everyone back That was really fun

After the backyard era Alright well By the way We're going to hear a song from stars At the end of this episode How do you like that One of their songs I mentioned it earlier

I pointed and I said This guy We forgot to do it in the first episode Paul What do we have here It is time for The snowman game What we have here is

A fun little Christmas decoration Purchased from Target I believe It is a Just an adorable fat little snowman He's got a scarf on By the way

I've never felt the scarf before It feels like it would be very comfortable Yeah Too bad it's around his neck Do you want to have a little feel? It's a great scarf I better be very warm He's holding a candy cane

He's got of course A signature top hat He's got two button eyes And a nose made out of coal And Now Nose made out of coal Aren't they usually carrots?

Yes They are What's up with this? I don't know But you know what? The song has made people go Like oh We can just use coal

It's fucking cuter Well no Corn cob pipe And a button nose And two eyes made out of coal Yeah so He is from the song Most people don't have

A bunch of fucking coal Yeah We have carrots A button nose is weird Yeah I never thought about it before Because Well it's got the nostrils

Because of the two holes Four holes sometimes Yeah if you're lucky Oh I wish I had four nostrils I'd rule the world So here's the thing You press He never leaves the house

You press his little fat hand And he spins around You don't need to fat shame this snowman By the way No he's a fat pig Disgusting little bispin Those are threedom fans Those are threedom fans

Threedom fans are of course Called pisspigs It was their idea Which is weird Oh strange So The idea is When you press his hand

He sings a little song He dances around And he turns And he turns And then he stops Periodically in a song But if he looks at you When he stops

If he lands If he lands at the end of the song Looking right at you At the very end of the song It feels so good You feel lucky now So we have him here We have in the booth

We're counting Devin and Kimmy In the booth And then who's next Who's over there July Oh and July's there too Oh wow

Hey So there's There's five potential people That he can look at July and Christmas I've heard of Christmas in July Are you in Christmas? I mean it's Christmas almost

Anyway Go ahead So here we go I'm going to press His little Disgustingly fat hand Alright And he's going to look

At one of the five of us Hopefully Here we go July So delightful Says we've no place to go Let it snow, let it snow Let it snow

It shows no signs of stopping I brought me some corn For popping Oh he's looking right at me Let it snow, let it snow Let it snow Nobody Looking at the corner

What is this The Blair Witch Project Paul I have some bad news for you It is the Blair Witch Project Oh fuck Let me see those snot bubbles I kicked the map into the river What?

Alright that's going to do it for this part two But we're going to be back on Monday With part three of the best of twenty twenty two And Paul you're still going to be with us I'll be with us and so will the snowman And I'll tell you one thing We're going to eat lunch in between these two parts No

Let's hear that music from stars We'll see you next time Thanks bye No shadows Put away the past And you try to go to sleep Time to build a fire Time to light it up

Time to let it burn brighter Then it's time to stop And then it's time to start I never knew you could be that way I never knew you would hurt me I never knew you could be that way I never knew you would hurt me I knew the empty city again

Waiting for your passport Running from your friends Outside they're burning down the past They're dreaming in their sleep If they think it's gonna last The night goes ninety miles an hour The terrifying dawn is unfolding like a flower They live a life of quiet despair

I turn to pull you in But they never find you there They never find you there I never knew you could be that way I never knew you would hurt me I never knew you could be that way I never knew you would hurt me I never knew you could be that way

I never knew you would hurt me I never knew you could be that way I never knew you would hurt me, hurt me Time to build a fire Time to light it up Time to let it burn out Man, it's time to stop Time to filter fire

Time to light it up Time to let it burn out Man, it's time to stop Time to feel the fire Time to fill your cup It grates everything And it's never gonna stop Time to feel the fire

Time to fill your cup The world will keep on turning Time to stop Time to stop I never knew it could be that way I never knew it could be that way I never knew it could be that way