Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Best of 2023 Part 2

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

The Best of Comedy Bang! Bang! 2023 Countdown continues as Scott and Paul F. Tompkins countdown numbers twelve through nine of the Best CBB episodes of 2023 as voted by YOU listeners. Tune in Monday for Part 3!

That's right. He said it and he sang it. It is comedy bang bang. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo, Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do First, I thought you were singing Hey Big Spender. You were petrified. Yeah. At first, I thought you were singing Hey Big Spender. I was petrified. But it kind of sounds like that, doesn't it? Like, do Big Spender. Do Big Spender. Do Big Spender.

Something little time with me. Do Big Spender. Do BAP. That's a nod to substituting do for words. He can't even say hey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like do big spender Yes to do All my dudes were so do away he did didn't he cover yesterday? I feel like he did somewhere Oh, something something sorry. Yeah, it was one of those some words. The George airs. A friend of mine who an older friend who grew up. Oh, it's not that much older than

me, but he grew up. So he just kept getting older. Grew up here in Los Angeles was the son of a showbiz family. And one time he remembers as a kid, meaning Paul Lind at a family party. And, you know, my friend was very into the Beatles at the time. And, you know, because Paul was like, Does one stop being in the middle? What kind of music do you listen to? And he's like, I really like the Beatles. And Paul Lind said, I like that song, something.

I really like that song, something. Something. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. It is interesting. It is interesting the song, something. I really like that song, something. Something. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. It is interesting. The song something, because like Frank Sinatra was saying, this, this song rivals cold, porter songs. And he was trying to say like the, because they were all those rap hecka's we're talking about how the Beatles were garbage. They were so happy when Dean Martin hit number one with everybody loves somebody. They were like the beetle buster. Deedito, you didn't. Right. Right. Because they felt like

rock and roll was coming in on their territory. Like they were the- Get it, good. Yeah. And then suddenly they all start covering something and they're all like, this is one of the most beautiful love songs ever written. Like almost as an apology. Like this song's okay by the Beatles. Yeah, it's not that different than any other other songs. And then Sammy Davis Jr. does Maxwell Silver Hammer. Exactly.

Um, I freaking what song it was that Frank Sinatra would not, he wouldn't do somebody brought this song to him. It's a famous song. And then his response was, where's the chick? Where's the chick? There wasn't a chick in it.

There wasn't a, like a love song. A chick that he was talking about, interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what other songs did it, because he did the song Old McDonald. There's not a chick in that. I guess there's a little chick. Oh, there's a chick there.

A chick there, a Scott. I'm so sorry. Oh my God, of all the songs. That one has maybe the most chicks in it. Let me, let me look it up Let me let me look it up. All right, look it up. Um, while you do that, let me tell everyone what they're listening to. Welcome to comedy bang bang best of 23 part two.

Uh, this is the second episode. If you have not heard part one, why don't you go backwards one episode? You dumb asshole. Hey, you're going to miss a bunch of shit. Oh, God. Oh, it're gonna miss a bunch of shit. Oh, God, I inhaled my sharply here. Let me help you up. This is part two. What we're doing is we're counting down your choices for the best episodes of comedy bang bang of 2023. We've

been doing the top 16 on today's episode. You will hear numbers 12 11. That's right. We'll crack the top 10. We'll hear number 10 and number nine. Very exciting stuff. My name is Scott Ockerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang and I have been for the entirety. Well, I wouldn't say the entirety because there were a few random episodes I couldn't host early on when we had to do it at a specific time on a specific day. True. But in fact, my guest hosted one that I can recall, maybe even two. I don't know. Did you do two or one? You said my guest host.

My guest hosted one. Yeah, I did two. You did two? All right. He did two. He claims I have no way of knowing if that is factually correct. He is there is no way of knowing. He is an incredible liar. Um, but um, you know him as, uh, he's rebranded himself. He is the great grand. What are you the great grand uncle? You're the grand uncle, Paulive Tompkins is here with me. Grand Uncle Paulive Tompkins.

Yeah, everybody. It's me, grand. He's trying it out for three months. It's me, grand uncle. Three months. Yeah. Jesus. Do at least like, you know, all the way through March,

your variety of through March, your variety of topos and everything. I can't find the story. When you look up story plus song. Yeah. And it's nothing. I'm not even if I'm not really nothing. Yeah. Just googling story and the word song. Well, I double, double, double definition of course. Well, I double-definition, of course. Mm-hmm. Double-dease. Goddamn, where did I hear that story? I don't know.

I wonder what song it was. Happy Birthday? Beautiful. No, that sometimes has a chicken. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, Happy Birthday, dear Moshe. What? The whole dear part of it.

Why don't you roll your eyes? Just, Michelle doesn't really come off the tongue when you're singing Happy Birthday. No, it's just one of the worst names to have a birthday, you know? Happy birthday dear, Michelle. What's the ideal happy birthday name? Happy birthday dear Ronald.

Ronald, yeah, to like perfect constant. Emphasis is the right place. Yeah, the first syllable. It still sounds like your name. Yeah, yeah. But if It still sounds like your name. Yeah. Yeah. But if you were to say, like even, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, it. What would you prefer? Happy birthday dear Paul F? Yeah, that would be better for you. I wouldn't mind that. Yeah. Um, but uh, three

syllable words, even worse. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Happy birthday dear. Jennifer. Oh, God, get that out of my ears. I actually know that. I can't. Oh, man. Have you ever had a birthday have to sing happy birthday? I had a birthday. Thank you. I have all the information I need. Have you ever had to sing happy birthday to someone that you didn't know that well? And you weren't sure if you were supposed to do a nickname or the full name. Like maybe it's like a work situation. Right right and you don't know if everyone knows they have this nickname yes happy birthday dear but sugar. But I mean sometimes people it's somebody who's not ever known by one thing specific right like they're known as Like they're known as Taz

or Charles Tazmini devil is who I think. Of course. Or Charles. That was the Tazmini devil. Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. Yeah, as I was saying. Everyone called him the Tazmini devil.

It's like, no, that is what I am. It's not who I am. There's many Tazmini devil. His name is Charles. Charles. Now back to it, Charles entertainment devil. Ah, Taz.

So fun. Tazah. So fun to see him on the back of a car. I love him. I love him. Yeah. He was a bad guy in the cartoons, right? He was like a problem.

He was considered the villain. Yes. I believe so. I think the POV character was always whomever Taz was coming up against, but. I don't remember him, I don't remember any details about the cartoons he was in, except for him whirling around in that cloud. Yeah, and people running away from him,

like he's a cyclone or something. Yeah, he was very scary looking. Yeah. No, I mean, that big body and tiny legs. He's a devil. That's good point. Right off the top, it's in the name. Which leads me to my thesis that the bugs, my cartoons are very religious. Yes. Thank you. You have the devil.

Daffy Duck, Punches Pilot. Do you see? Yeah. A literative. Daffy Duck is the Punches Pilot character who tries to save Jesus and then let's Porky Pig, Barabbas. Well, let's welcome in, uh, Grand Uncle Paul F. Tomkins, here. No, I don't, I already don't like it. You're stuck with it for three months. It makes me feel so old. Well, so sorry, you picked it.

Yeah. Take the tape, real the tape back. Remember, you're the one who said, I want to do this for three months. I mean, that sounds like me for sure. It doesn't look something I would say. Paul, it is now no longer Christmas. Our first episode came out on Christmas. And this one is a few days after it is, I believe it might be according to Adam Scott, it might be stocking day today. You would have had to have listened to our spring scene show in order to well then forget it. I know I'm so sorry. When was the first time you heard of Bruce Springsteen, by the way. Oh my God, for as long as it goes, the eggs

were a rembours. But he has a thing called stocking day, which I believe is today, where he and his sister convinced their mom that stocking day was a real tradition, and that's where you refill the stockings from Christmas. These children convinced their mother. No, it's a real thing. You got to reef. So like we've eaten everything, all the candy and everything, it's in the stockings. You have to refill it now to the top on stocking day.

It's funny to think about the shit that you thought you were getting away with with your parents that they just let go because they were fucking tired. He is convinced that they were cany enough to convince her that they had heard about this tradition. No, no, no, no. Yeah, that's what I think. She just wanted to do it. She's like fine.

What do I care? But I think we all should celebrate stocking day. Should we not? I disagree. You disagree, you really? Is that an affrontary to the idea of Christmas itself? I think we should stop celebrating Christmas as well. This is huge news. I think we should take celebrating Christmas as well. This is huge news.

I think we should take a few years off from Christmas. It's not a bad idea. It comes around 365 days is too little. I also make it every 500. Let's shorten the year. Yes. 100 days. 100 days, that's it.

Yeah. And then we all get older after 100 days. So we'll all be like 150 years old. We stop counting birthdays. Why do we need them? Why do we need birthdays? And this is my point, and we talked about this on three of them,

selling our birthdays. I'm still taking offers. But I don't want anyone to have a birthday. Here's what I think. You can have birthdays. I'll sell mine before we institute this law. Okay, all right. But sort of like insider trading here,

you're my senator or something. You're on my scheme. I think that you should have birthdays up until you are, you reach the age of legality for everything. So 25, so for the car. For the car. For the car. By the way, why is that so?

I don't know. I remember being 23. Having no idea that was a rule or a law. Is it a law or a rule? It's a guideline and a principle. It's a tenant. But just going like, okay, I'll rent a car to get my stuff over here.

And then finding out about it. And it's like, what the fuck is so different from, first of all, 18 18 I could go to war yeah which is the worst of everything. A. G. Go to walk. But you can't run a car no more. 21 I can finally become an alcoholic. Yeah. But 20. A legal out. Yes. But 25 to run a car. What's the I mean what where am I gonna drive off to in between 21 and 25 that I won't drive off to when I'm 25? Well, I think the thing is, is that they want you

to have about 10 years of experience or as close to that as possible, right? So if you get your driver's license when you're a teen, look, it's insane. But because it's like, it's a business, you're like, well, you can fuck up your dad's car all you want. Go ahead. Enjoy yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. I hope you crack it. You beat it. I hope you hit it. But I think it's so crazy that we let 15 year olds drive. I'm down with the 25 running a car. As long as you can't drive a car till you're 21.

I don't think anyone under 21 should be driving cars. It's just, can you imagine, you remember driving a car when you were 16? How old do you have to be like an Uber driver? Are there teen Uber drivers? According to my experience, 65 and chatty. It's 65 and chatty out there. But okay, so 25, then no more birthdays until you can collect Social Security. So 25, 65, or whatever the age it ends up being? Is it up to

67 hour? They don't even, like, the government keeps track of it, and then they just send you, they start sending you the checks. Here's the thing, government should keep track of our birthday as they already know this information, right? Yes. What did it kill you government to send me a card every year? I'm, exactly. I'm also tired of having to fill out my birthday for everything.

Everything. You know it, it's out there. Check my Wikipedia, idiot. Hey. Hey. Why are you wasting my time? I have a Wikipedia page. It's got all the information.

Just go right there. I know every time you go. My credit card numbers on there. Anytime you go into any kind of a medical appointment now. Teeth, feet, tits, whatever. You got to fill up the same exact form. Just check out my Wikipedia, idiots. I like when you go pharmacy and they

Bite by the way, I'm a bit bite baby Ask you I'm having a nice little tune on peppermint Do you have the peppermint in there because I got I got a toffee one that I did a peppermint rocha That's okay, but if there was more of a chocolate situation in there That's what I prefer because I got I had of those in the, you've separated all the candies you don't like into the public ones. Yeah, that's right. And so all I had was one that I didn't like, I would like one that I do.

Oh, honey. If that's all right. Anyways, this is chocolate, a little sandwich. I'll take that. Thank you. So you have to give your name. Where are we talking? I found out we're at pharmacy. And then date of birth. Right. Sometimes phone number. So you have to give your name. Where are we talking about where we are? Pharmacy, great.

And then date of birth. Right, sometimes phone number. And it's like, yes, sometimes phone number. If you've been there before. I love that date of birth is everything to the pharmacy. They love that date of birth baby. Oh, love it. Oh my God, there's so many.

By the way, it has stick for it. No fucking effect on whether you get your drugs or not. Yeah, you know what I mean? There's no reason that they should even have your date of birth. Like that's impossible information to obtain. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, like, Yeah, I could be,

So you wouldn't have a posture, can't take your pills. Yeah. Know what knows your date of birth. Yeah. It's on everyone's Facebook page. Otherwise, any old junkie would come in here getting your well-buterin. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Any old junkie would come in here getting your well-butrin. You're oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll see you next week. For second Christmas tree day.

I remember I convinced my dad had to go get a second Christmas tree. Oh, I just heard a story. Tell me, from, I'm still midnight, from my friend David Reese on his podcast with his friend, John Kim will call the members of the romantic makers. That's right. One of the members of one of the city, comic group. He talks about this on members of the Gothic makers. That's right, one of the members of the city, the comic group. Tick-to-tick.

He talks about this on one of our previews episodes. And he said when he was a kid, his dad did not like colored lights on the tree, so they're gonna have white lights on the tree. And then he's making a strong aesthetic choice. Yeah. And then, but David really wanted the colored lights. And his dad said, I tell you what?

Because there was this area that was being deforested or whatever in their town. And so he went and got like chopped down a tree. Chopped down a tree. Anyway, go ahead. And so David had his own personal Christmas tree in his bedroom. Really bedroom tree.

The colored lights on. Cool up would be very excited here. Cool up would be very excited. I was very excited hearing it. Like, to have a real tree in your bedroom. A personal bedroom tree when you're a kid. Yes. That's the light.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I came to appreciate the white lights, the simple white lights because my parents, Charles Groten. Charles Phillips. Charles Phillips. That's bad. That's bad.

That's not good. Because growing up, my parents had the craziest, brightest, get most garish lights with the most garish star that they bought when I was, I think, four or five. Did the lights blink? Yes, they blinked in crazy rapid patterns. And it was one of those new things, because every star before then, it just been like a tin star or something like that.

Oh, the star has blinking lights. Yeah, the star. Okay. Had these just incredibly rapid blinking lights. And then they got the rapid blinking lights on the tree itself. And it was just like such. I remember being enraptured by it when I was a kid,

but then kind of rebelling against it when I grew up and saying like, let's keep it simple. I'm punk rock. Yeah. You're a tree, you're establishment. I want to keep it that way, dude. Yeah. The slow fading twinkle that exists now on some lights.

Yeah, yeah, the ones that just kind of like, oh, it's like softening. They don't know for it at the same time. It's beautiful. Beautiful. Do you have a tree up? We didn't get a tree this year because of, you're going away.

Last episode, we talked about the garage. Oh, the garage, you're all garage. The garage is in flux. And so we did not get a tree this year, but I think, no, I don't think, I know. Next year, we're doing fake tree. Fake tree, that's the way to do it these days. Yeah. Because if we had a fake tree, we would have had a tree this year. Here's the thing, if trees only took a year to grow, these

Christmas trees that we have, the furs, then yeah, let's cut one down every year. Do you know what I would do? What? If a tree took one year to grow and then of five days to die. Like a soul. Or like let's say, let's say it took, let's say it took a month to die. Okay. Okay. So wait, 11, 11 months to grow, one month to die. 11 month to grow, one month to die. I would dig a permanent hole in my living room floor. Yes. Plant the tree there. And then watch it grow. Watch it grow, decorate it.

The day after Thanksgiving, it slowly dies. Slowly dies over the course of the month. You don't have to worry about, like, oh, we have to, you know, it's gonna die within a week. You know it's gonna die by the end of the year. I worry about your insulation and your heating. No, don't. Well, no, it would be somehow,

I wouldn't, I wouldn't do this myself of course. I'd hire someone. I wouldn't take a pickaxe to my floor. I'll tell you what, I'll make this deal with you. I will create trees that grow in 11 months and only take one month. Okay. If you don't hire someone, you do this yourself. Deal. Okay. Deal. Also speaking of creating things, we were waiting in that clock. So, waiting on that clock, it's been four

days at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Received it. Yeah. No status updates. So if you know that you are working on the clock, let us know. Give us a Guilrd Age update that you are working on the clock. You fix the easement of the clock. Can you finally figure it out? It'll be good. I'm the only one in the show who has this voice. I know New York City is a melting pot, but come on. He was the first guy to have that accent.

And then every single working. Everyone else homes like this. Ha, ha, ha. What are we doing, Paul? We're, uh, we're counting down best of baby. Count down best of, as I mentioned it earlier, we're doing 12 through nine this time.

And, uh, boy, those first four that we heard on Monday, corkers, amazing. I, I nearly busted my seams from laughing. Stop the lights. Oh laughing. Stop the lights. Please stop the lights. Um, and uh, why don't we get to it, Paul? I mean, we're here. Don't we? Why don't we get to it? Why don't we get to this? Let's do it. Let's go to your choice for episode number 12. Number one, two. All right, episode number 12, this is number 800 and one. Wow, early 800s.

Almost as early as you can get. I mean, technically. What? It's almost as early as you can get. We talked about it in this episode. We definitely break off another hundo in this episode. Right. A tradition that was established, I believe,

by John Glazer on episode 201, I believe. He coined the term breaking off another hundo, which I had never really thought about, but yes, we were the 801 701 that is breaking off a new hundo right so this we talk about that a little bit But we're not gonna hear that do you consider episode 800 to be in the 800s? I do yes, so that so 801 is almost as early as you can get in the 800s Exactly. Yeah, I was about to maybe Fall down picking yeah, I was gonna fall down with it in a heart attack.

I realized I just had indigestion. Oh, no, he fell down in a heart attack. A bit of boiled potato. This is an episode, it came out on March 19th of 2023 and it's an episode called Wifi for a Wifi for a wife guy. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. I remember to spell it. They both came on together as a team to promote their new adult animation show called Digmin, which was on Comedy Central. Now I believe you can see it on Paramount Plus. I think it just premiered on Paramount Plus. Did you do a voice on that? I did not, did you? Nope. Interesting, isn't it?

It's really interesting. You employ someone for five years and then you expect to hear that tap, tap, tap on your bedroom door and then it never wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait the show to talk about Digmond. So we'll hear a little bit of that. One thing I should mention in the clip that we hear where we're talking to Andy Sandberg is, we do sing the song Hollywood Facts a lot. And let me explain what it is,

if this is your first or second episode of comedy bang bang. Hollywood, I don't think you should, but go ahead. Hollywood Facts was a game that we played early on in the, I believe first 200 episodes or so, occasionally we would play games. And Hollywood Facts was one where we would do Hollywood trivia that Neil Campbell and I would write.

That was all fake. Hollywood game. I forgot there was a game connected to it. Yes, in fact, in the Comedy Bang Bang Book, which is in stores now, there's a board game version of Hollywood facts. And Neil and I wrote questions for it. And I, that was one of the very last things that we wrote for the book because I remember the deadline was right around when my daughter was born.

And I remember being in shopping in a target in Riverside where she was born for baby for She was born in the target No, not the turret that should have been on She was born in Riverside in the hospital there, and I was in a Riverside because we thought it was only gonna be two days after we got there and it turned out to be two weeks. So I was buying clothes. Yeah, a friend gave you some bad intel.

Some bad intel. So I was in a target buying clothes and Neil sent the last batch of questions, and I remember I was wearing clothes when I bought a target. I really liked our target. We heard you own. The corporate one in Minnesota. Yeah, main HQ. So I remember just receiving the email with another batch of these jokes that Neil had written and

Almost crying laughing. They were so funny and So it was it was a game that we played in the two hundreds I think in the episodes and the first time we ever played it, Andy was the guest on the episode. And so him being a great, in the lonely island and Saturday night live, he did a lot of wraps and has hit singles as a rapper. So I said, hey, do you mind, let's improv a theme for this. So we improvised the theme to Hollywood Factor. He improvised the main theme and then Adam Pally and I added tags at the

end. And then it became a tradition for us. Anytime he's on the show, we sing it. And there was one particular episode, Lauren Lapkas was on where we sang it over and over and over again. And we got to memorize it because we kept getting the words wrong. So we sang it about 20 times until we could finally do it totally without looking at the words. This became a favorite with fans and one fan in particular Tatiana Maslani who when she met Lauren Lapkiss at a party, she came up to her and recited the Hollywood facts theme in her face. And so anytime Andy is on, I am just waiting for him to say either the word Hollywood or facts.

And I have the theme song ready. And this time it was not I was not disappointed. We got to it pretty early. So I just want to explain what you're hearing. So we're going to hear Andy and Neil promoting Digmin, then in between the clips, Lily Sullivan, this is her first appearance on the countdown. She just give a shout out to Lisa Sullivan.

I don't think so. It's not time for her, because we're not listening to her in the clips. Okay, all right. But she plays a character sister, Margrit. And then the next clip we'll hear is Neil Campbell himself playing a character named Dirty Dog. All right, let's hear it.

This is your choice for episode number 12. Number one, two. Welcome to the show, guys. Andy, you've been on the show ever since our early days, episode 16, and that was... I feel like every time I come back, you tell me a fact. Mm-hmm. A Hollywood fact. A Hollywood fact. Right? A way to make a way, man. Do we need to hear? Oh, I think we do, man.

Didn't waste much time going to England now. Everybody do a faction, know your stars. Glamour and lots of bars. Get a drink at a club. Then walk in front of the Chinese theater. Hollywood facts. Take out your D. Check out the facts. This Hollywood facts, bro. Pretty good. Considering considering it's been now probably a year and a half since you've heard that since the last episode you were on. That's all right. You've been on every, in every hundo, by the way. Is that true?

You've been on episode 16 was your first, you were in our first hundo, and then you were on a 100 episode, a 200, a 300, a 400, a 500, a 600, a 600, 700 now 801. I can't believe I was on the 16th one. Yeah, when I came and did it, I in my mind it was like,

it had already been going forever. I believe that you were on with, I think, SAC and Andy Daly and one other person, Zach Alphanakis and one other person. What a dream. I think the second time you were on you were on with Adam Palley and you said to me, remember the first time I was on it? It was on with all these great people? What happened? I said that specifically because Pally was doing his worst work that day. He was pulling like a classic Pally. I don't care move.

Which I think was from this actual episode. It was Hollywood back to you. Because he was doing Bro again. Let's hear it again. Going downtown. Going to Ingawood now. Everybody checking. Do you affect who know your stars?

Glitching Lamar and lots of bars. Get a drink at a club. Then go walk in front of the Chinese theater. Hollywood facts. Take out your dick. Check out the facts. It's Hollywood facts, bro. There he is.

I was better. So tell me about Digmin. It's obviously an animated show that I saw the trailer, too. But what more do we know about it? That's just some of the footage from the show. Have you think that the show is just I watched you know I watched the whole season right no no no no no we there's other animated scenes But it's not just re-editing that that two minutes of footage It's not you guys talking in between these animated scenes. I already watched no no not at all Well one episode is but the rest aren't yeah. Oh wow that one the network does not like hmm

Do you think the fans will? Well, one episode is, but the rest aren't. Yeah. Oh, wow. That one, the network does not like. Do you think the fans will? Daffle. OK. But I like the idea that there could be fans. Now, what is it about, though? When I see a title called Digmin, I think to myself, like, I don't know what the hell this is about,

I'm just going to turn it off. But thanks for that. But it actually is about something. It is about something and something important. And it's an acronym. Yeah, it's an acronym. We won't say what it stands for though. Oh, Digmin is an acronym. Yeah, that's that's like a season five reveal. Oh, really? Okay. Well, we won't tell you what each letter stands for, but we will tell you the M stands for Modoc. Okay. Well, that's an acronym in itself.

Yeah. The kind of newsletter is so that each an acronym in itself. Yeah, the kind of, you just let it, so that's incredible. Each letter is in already existing acronyms. Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh. We have a lot of ideas. We're fucking weird. So it's like I, IBM?

I don't spoil it. Maybe. Gosh, wow, this is incredible. D is dare. Dare for, yeah, dare to get its autographs. Yeah, okay, wow, this is great. D is dare. Dare for, yeah, dare to get kids off drugs. Yeah, okay. Wow, this is great. Dare IBM.

Oh, God, we're struggling to come up with a G. Bucket. Good, great, great. GPS. Yeah, GPS. Take your fake out, fuck you, fuck you on your fucking face. And then Moda. And then Moda.

Yes. So. ACLU. And then Moda and then Moda. Yes. Um, so... He's the L.U. He's having a great time. And then Ed. Uh, Nambla. NCAA. Nambla.

Wow. Sorry guys, it's Nambla. I gotta do first forever now. That's how it works. And that's why it's first bitch-dolls. It's the animation joke. Uh, Neil Campbell had to go, but uh, we have our next guest is ready to go here and he's never been on the show before. Welcome him. This is dirty dog. Hey, it's me dirty dog bark bark. Hey, bark bark. What is up? Indeed. Hey, let's first describe my appearance. Yeah, let's do it.

6 foot 3. Yep. So that's a normal height. I'm a doberman. You are a doberman, of course, yeah. Standing on my back legs. That's right. Yeah, very tall for a doberman. Disable abs. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Spike collar. Kind of six packy looking. Yeah, six pack. Yeah. Park bark. Park bark, of course. Yeah, would you say about the collar?

Spike collar. Spike collar, yeah. Also, you're wearing a t-shirt, like a doggy t-shirt. What's it say on that? Because I'm only seeing your front. What's the say on the back? Where people can usually see it? You ask what it says on the back? We're on the front.

Well, on the back, because doggy t-shirts have things written on the back. Oh, yeah. Because usually they're not on their hind legs. This is mad in the bone, Park, Park. With it, let me guess, picture of a bone. Picture of a bone, yeah. because usually they're not on their hind legs. This bad to the bone, Mark. With it. Let me guess picture of a bone picture of a bone. Yeah, and an arrow and an arrow from the word bone to the bone Just a case you don't get it. Oh I thought you meant like an arrow that an archer would shoot There's like no William tail situation. Mark Mark Okay, good stuff. Hey, this is Andy. Hey, Andy, Mark Mark. How's it going? It's good.

Yeah. Yeah. And this is a pretty dirty dog, Mark Mark. I guess you're a dirty dog, Andy. This is Sister Margaret. A Sister Margaret. Hi, hi, Mark Mark. I like your chair, so I like your vibe. Thanks. Do you like my gene show, Mark Mark? I do. They're so sharp. Yeah. I get kind of a little hole for my deals to get them back. When you cut the hole or the you buy them like this, cut it out myself. So these are human shorts that you're cutting a whole lot of these are

knee-as-511 jeans cut off. 511. 511. I know about the 501. It does vintage. They're skinny. Oh, 5 ones are the skinny ones, yeah. Well, it's great to have you on the show. What, tell us about yourself. What? I'm a dirty dog.

I got like eating it on. Sure. I like every juice there is. Every juice. So orange juice. Orange juice, but also the nasty juices. Oh, okay. All right.

I was just saying. But you do like orange juice. And I like orange juice. Apple juice. Yep. And then the nasty juice. Nasty juice. Pumgranate juice. Yes. Plum juice. Do they make plum juice? They knew where I'm from, bark bark. Where is the my balls dick? What? There's my plumb juice, bark bark. You're from your place. Well, from someone else's.

I was made out of someone else's plumb juice. We're all from someone's balls when you think about it. And you think about it. You've been in the sisters like you. Yeah, that's true. And what are you seeing on the show today? Hey, I'm here for one nasty little reason. Andy, what do you think about dirty dogs?

Sorry, big dog is a different guest we've had on the dirty dog. What do you think about a dirty dog? Sorry, big dog is a different guest we've had on dirt. What do you think about dirty dogs? Well, I'm kind of reserving judgment until we hear the one that asks you reason. Oh, I like this guy. He's pulling dirty dogs. I can tell. No, I am not.

All right, my one little nasty reason that I'm here. I got to remind kids, you got to do your homework. Oh, okay. Okay, you got to do your homework. Oh, okay. Kids don't do their homework. It's not so bad. Any more thing. You, uh, yeah, I mean, I was expecting something different, but I can't argue with it. Yeah, I mean, kids should do their homework.

I mean, especially if they want to get good grades, right? It depends on the assignment. I mean, speaking as a former student, yeah, yeah, although can you really pick and choose which homework to do or should you just do it all? I mean, it depends what you want to get out of the experience of school, right? Sure. I guess there's sometimes when you could say, like, you know, I'm not going to be a chemist. Exactly.

You know, why do I need an A on this? Although getting into a good college, although what was student loans now being what they are, I don't know that I would maybe better up just going to trade school. Yeah, exactly. I would agree with all of that. I would just add. More park? What do you think, Sister Margaret, with, I mean, about college? About homework in general? I think homework is a good thing if you're a nerd. general. I think how America's a good thing if you're a nerd. Wow. Okay. I didn't realize you were so cool. I mean, you are very sexy in that slid all the way up to your nape of your neck. Did you see I cut your slid in the top of my head? By the way, I think you cut into your actual head because you're bleeding. I'm bleeding. Yeah. Yeah. You always like blood though, don't you? God likes it. Hey, it's one of the juices

On the nasty juices. Yeah, especially a certain week per month. Am I right? Are you talking about periods? I guess Are you jealous that we get him when you don't stop nerdy dog. I'll say From what Coward down from what? Chowing down, Bauer Klaar. Bauer Klaar? Bauer Klaar?

Alright, I still haven't decided if I like to talk. The Hauer stuff we were on. Take it from dirty dog, Bauer Klaar. Sweet, just transit into Bauer Kla So we just should do Mauerk Mauerk. I have multiple things I'd say. Yeah, okay, this is two of multiple. Two of Mauerk Mauerk. Mauerk Mauerk.

Yeah, totally different gets for it. Yeah, depends on the situation. Have you listened back, you'll understand why. I sometimes say one or the other. We'll be able to decode this. Exactly, yeah. Mauerk Mauerk. Anyway, yeah, kids, you gotta do your homework. sometimes say what together. We'll be able to decode this. Exactly. Yeah. Bark bark.

Anyway, yeah. Kids, you gotta do your homework. Don't say I ate it, Bark bark. Oh, wait a minute. I see what's happening here. You're tired of being blamed for eating homework. Yeah. Kids, you gotta do the homework.

Don't say dirty, I'll get it, Bark bark. So wait, you don't care about the kids at all. I don't care about kids. How dare you bark. Just one bark Oh, and then a bowler. Okay, so bark bark And bark bow these are your three things you say thus far I haven't cracked the code yet

So you know you're you're all you're self-interested in not being blamed for eating the homework Sure, that's one way of looking at it, but another way of looking at it You know, you're, you're all, you're self interested in not being blamed for eating the homework. Sure, that's one way of looking at it, but another way of looking at it in black and white, mind you, can't sing color. Sure. Sure. Oh, because you're a dog bark. Is that kids you do their homework? They want to grow up and get a good job. Wait, wait, wait, kids will grow up regardless. So if they do their home, right? I mean, I mean, I'm sure there's a small percentage of kids who don't grow up. I don't know why we're focusing on that, but.

That's not. But kids will grow up regardless. But they should grow up and do their homework. So they get good job. Yeah, I guess I meant, so they grow up, and get a good job. And get a good job. Learn how to do the taxes.

Yeah, with turbo tax, though, you can just pretty much pay someone to do that. Turbo, that snail. Do you like snails? I like the animated movie turbo. But a snail that raises. Have you ever eaten a snail? Yep, part of art. Like in a French restaurant. Yeah, it's got go down the road. And what about not an restaurant,

just like off the sidewalk? Yep. And what's the difference? The butter. Yeah, that's pretty much. Yeah, I just have a metaphor got here. We're at a French restaurant or, oh, okay, so a butterless street and butterless street snail. Mark Mark. And did you like that as much or just no, no, so you like a better with a butter? Better with butter.

That's got more than one thing. That's like a nice feature. Better with butter. It'd be better with butter. That's true, but I got to point out, hey, isn't that was something you say? Yes. You point out everything you're guessing But he's saying a new sentence and that must happen all the time I guess that's it say sir. So something they had it previously said dirty dog. Do you have owners?

Hey only one who owns dirty dog It's dirty dog. Bark bark. Okay. Okay. So you're a street dog. Street dog. Yeah. So would you like to have a forever home? No, what are you talking about? That'd be crazy, Bark bark.

I just, we're looking for a third dog and I, you know, I mean, we have room here at the house. It's a matter that I can talk and walk on my hind legs. This is creepy that you'd want to own him. I'd like for you to be my property. No way, D-D ain't taking that deal. Oh, you call yourself D-D. Okay.

All right. So there's Daredevil, by the way. It was in contact with. It's not. Is D-D ain't taking that deal also a cat phrase or that just happened conversationally. I have t-shirts that have that pregenotic. That's right. It's like you.

Yeah. Do you ever call yourself WD? Yes, sometimes, but I'm in heat. I'll say that. You're in heat. You call yourself WD. Yeah. Like WD is. Interesting. Yeah, so I mean, what do you do for a living? Do you do? I mean, just for kids to do their homework, around the schools to get paid for this? Yeah, do assemblies and stuff at different schools Oh Huh, do you have a part of your homework? Do you mind here if we hear some of your program like you must fill an hour right or a 45 minute lunch class or something?

It's long. It's like three hours here. Yeah. Okay. Let's hear a tiny sliver of it Okay, a little bit more of it. Bark bark. Okay, a little bit, a little bit more than that. Hey, this dirty dog, Paul. Barg bark dog bark bark. All right, good stuff. We're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're not gonna crack the talk 10 yet. You know what, can I say something?

What's that? You should use it to think if we come back. If we come back to give people like, oh my God, they're not coming back. It would be bold if I just quit in the middle of a countdown episode. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Just like an episode ends and they go, what happened and then I never come back. One of these, I think you should do that at some point. I don't think you should never come back, but you don't say when you're gonna come back. Oh yeah. And so it keeps people on their toes. That's why I like a nervous edgy listener.

Yeah, oh, what's better? When if we come back, we are not gonna crack the top 10, but we will crack the top 11. That's very exciting. Hey, you can't say fairer than that. I have to be right back. Ta-ma-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- Welcome back to comedy about. Oh, hey, jump on me. I tried to say the same thing you were saying for fun. I enjoyed it.

It was very fun. We have a good time together. We do have a good time together. You know, your characters and I don't always have a good time together. That's, I think it's changed a lot. It, well, mainly because your characters got so contentious with me, we now have to say to each other, hey, we like each other. That's during you. That's when you get contentious with me, we now have to say to each other, hey, we like each other. That's when you get contentious with my character.

So this is not a one way street Scott. It's true, but the way the show is constructed is I'm the sane or person, and then crazy people come in, and I have to be the one saying like, hey, hey, hey, that isn't right. I don't think that's actually true You don't think so. I don't think how do you think it's I think you say some insane shit I try to get it in there every once in a while just to make the show fun for me. Yes Well, you certainly seem to have a lot of fun when I'm on

Well, let's let's get to it. I mean,, I feel like this conversation is naturally leading us to the next episode which is big, naturally leading us. What'd you say, big, naturally? Big, natural, oh, big, natty, truly. Is this big, natty leading us? Is this big, getty, Lee? Did you know I just discovered this? What the other night? Getty Lee? There's some new discoveries to be made. Breaking Getty Lee news. I got all the crap to say. I discovered by accident. I was not looking for this.

This is like the vaccine. What was that first vaccine? It was bi-actually. Paulio? Yeah, wasn't it? Yeah, the string cheese vaccine. Yeah. I saw Getty Lee tagged in a photo on Instagram and his Instagram handle is Getty Images. That's funny. Yeah. I love that. That's fucking great. Getty, if you're listening and we know you are, let's come on comedy bank. Can you, I can only, there's one member of Rush

that I always forget. I remember Gettie Lee, I remember Neil Perth. Yeah. Alex Lifeson. Alex Lifeson. And he has the best name in a way. Lifeson, because it's, but isn't it LEIF? I think it's a LIFE.

What do I mean? Really? I think I, Alex, yeah, LIFE. Canadian musician, they call it a live FE. What do you mean? Really? I think I need. Alex, yeah, L.I.F.E., Canadian musician, they call it. Oh, come on, he's a little more famous than just Canadian musician. He's in fucking rush. Okay, look at Paul McCartney, see what they say. Okay, let me see.

Paul McCartney, English singer, songwriter, and musician. Yeah. See? Come on, guys. Let's get a little piece of fucking beetle. All right, let's get to it. This is your choice for episode number 11. Number one, one.

All right, episode number 11, Paul. This is episode 838. Yeah, this is a rough one. A rough one, you think. 838. Now, the last one we heard was 801. So this is 38, I mean. This is 37 later.

Yeah. And this is from November 12th of this year, 2020. Oh, look. Would it surprise you to know this is the second most recent episode eligible for inclusion? No. So the last two episodes that were eligible. That's not that surprising to me.

Not that surprising. No. All right. Well, I mean, I'm surprised I'm not supposed to be darling, you know? No, so the last two episodes that were eligible. That's not that surprising to me. Not that surprising. No All right Well, I mean I'm surprised I'm supposed to be darling, you know, we've been doing this 15 years Come on What it surprised you to know that the title of this episode is Peter Pog Donovitch Bawk That's a price me. Uh-huh That's right. You're in this one. I remember this one. Well, yeah, it was only like,

I remember you. I wanna do my impression of the fence, the stolen goods fence in Emerald Ranch in Red Dead Redemption 2, who every time you meet him, you go to sell some shit to him, like some platinum watches or whatever. Oh, I was imagining an actual perimeter fence. That's why I try to provide some qual to him, like some platinum watches or whatever. Oh, oh, I was imagining an actual like perimeter fence.

That's why I tried to provide some qualifiers to you. Thank you. I think that I kind of knew you were going to think that. But for a good 60 seconds, I was like, yeah, yeah. This is a crazy game. It has taught offense, but it's a video game. So I think it's so good. It's never time you encounter him. He goes, I remember you been in a long time. He kind of sounds like George W. Bush. Even if you had just been there.

Yeah. You can go to him, leave, turn right around, go back again. Oh, I remember you. Yeah, dude. From two seconds ago. Yes, what? I'm the only person who ever deals with you at all. So yeah, of course you remember me.

You, your job is to wait here for me to show up. I imagine that's what you would say if you were having like an argument with like your parent who has Alzheimer's or something. Your job is to remember when I show up. Your parent who has Alzheimer's. Yeah, of course, you remember me. Your job is to remember me. That would be funny if a parent said that. I remember you. That's the only thing the parent said. I remember you.

Every single time you come back from school. Oh, hey, I remember you. That's cool. I'm going to start doing this. Oh, that's adorable. I remember you. You going to do the Tammy? Yeah.

I think so. This is, okay, Peter Pock, Donovan,. I remember you. You gonna do that to Emmy? Yeah. I think so. Um, this is, okay, Peter Pog Donovan, if you remember this one, this is with our good friend Edgar Wright. That's right. Director of such films as Baby Driver, Scott Pilgrim, and Hot Fuzz, and Sean of the Dead, The World's End. He's a big fan of the show.

He's been coming on since. Last night in Soho. Last night of the show. He's been coming on since last night and so, oh, last night, so, oh, he's been coming on since our second year, I believe, was his first time. A fist full of fingers. Yeah, he's done it all and also an actor in sing too. That's right. Which comes up on this. I believe in fact, before we hear this clip,

Edgar and I were talking about pitching an idea for a sequel to sing two, which I believe comes up in the clip we're will here, but the reference to it, that's what we were talking about. I respect your beliefs. So we're going to talk to Edgar Wright a little bit, and then you'll hear a clip with Paul F here. Hi. Great grant. What is it? No, grand. Stop it. Now you just want to stop. I don't want to hear it again.

Grand F you. Yeah, I'm a grand F you. Oh, no, no, grand uncle. What is it, grand uncle? What is it, grand uncle? You'll hear PFT. Oh, oh, oh, no, we're not going to hear this clip, but what?

Paul F as Brock comes in. We're not going to hear this clip because we're going to hear from Brock a little later in the countdown. So we're first going to hear us talking to Edgar Wright. Then the next clip Brock will have already come in. We're going to jump to Vic McAless as Quiet The Mime. Quiet The Mime, Paul. Is it Quiet The Mime or Quiet The Mime? It is Quiet The Mime, who is Quiet The Mime? Yes, exactly. That's the joke they make. This one had us rolling, Vic just kind of, this one had us roll in.

Had had not only Paul and I who were easy laughs, uh, rolling, but Edgar was, uh, was dying at this. Let's hear it. This is your choice for episode number 11. Number one, one one please welcome back to the show Edgar Wright. Hello. Thanks for having me again Scott pilgrim is Back Incredible he he was away for a while Scott pilgrim is back and he's back in drawn form the way where he started. Yes, tell us about this. Well, what's going on because suddenly I'm sitting there on my phone in the morning. I Have my newborn baby in my arms. Yes, and suddenly An alert comes up on my phone that this new cartoon is out with all of the cast of the movie and you're a part of it And I dropped my phone not my baby. I hold on to my baby

What is happening here? What is going on? Well, it's, um, one of the producers Jared called me and said, is there anything more we can do is go pilgrim? Just to interject, this is not Jared from subway, right? I just want to make sure. Okay, because if he were a producer, I would have to say, I'm not watching this. He's not involved at all, right? He's not a star. He doesn't have his big pants. No.

Oh my gosh, you're coughing. You're coughing, you're so gassed at this question. No, sorry. Oh, Jared Fogel takes off. Thanks, not the show. Okay, although I would like to see that show. Maybe the doggy cups from Sink and Track him down. Yes, oh my god, across over there. Okay, although I would like to see that show. Maybe the doggy cops from Sing and Track him down. Yes, oh my god, it's across over there.

This is good. Scott Pilgrim. Scott Pilgrim. I would say, because it's Alan Friday, that I would say to just watch it, because it's kind of a nice one to go into blindly. So it's not the same plot as the movie. No, it's not the same plot as the comics.

It sort of goes off on its own thing. So it kind of starts in a similar vein to the book, the books, and the film, and then does its own thing. So I think people will be surprised and delighted that Jared Fogel is not in it. Yes, I was tuning in, wondering if he is. Personally, that's, I watch any television show, go, is Jared Fogel in this or not? I watch any television show go he's chared focal in this or not. I am 99% of the time. I hope so. Otherwise, I'm locking my doors tonight. That makes it too. That makes it too easy for the doggie cups from Sing3. If he's already in prison, that's my film. Okay, so we got to get him out. He realized. So I started the movie as he breaks out. Yes. And he slips through the bars. He loses

so much weight eating subway sandwiches. He slips through the bars. He loses so much weight eating subway sandwiches. He slips through the bars. And he throws his big pants out of the prison with that. And he climbs down. Yes. And then the cops have the big pants. They have more than one pair of big pants that you can tie them together to the whole middle.

Yeah, that's the one thing he asked for. Can I bring these to prison? Everyone's at yes, of course. It's like survivor where you can bring one thing. Remember that when you could bring one thing to survivor? One personal. The people at Netflix, so just the amount of times Jared Fogel has been mentioned

while trying to flag the show that just killed themselves. Although I'm sure they have a million documentaries about him on there. We need to get to our next guest. They are an artist. They are a visual artist. Please welcome to the show for the first time quiet the mind. Bonjour, Scadag Almond! Oh, wow! Wow, how are you doing? Oh, you're a French person.

Oh, I'm just outside Okébé. Oh, I didn't expect to be Okébé. I don't know. I didn't know. I've been to Montreal. Oh, it's got the girl. It's a beautiful city. Is it really beautiful? I hadn't seen it.

How are you? I'm great. Wonderful. Welcome to this is Edgar. This is Brock. Bonjour. You are soggy man. Oh, you are soggy today. I know. I'm sorry. I came right for work. Ha ha ha. Didn't have time to change. Um, quiet is trying to call you quiet.

Is that what you should be known as? Is that what is written down? Well, quiet the mind. I don't want to say quiet the mind all the time. Oh, baby, I should. This is my name. Quiet the man. It's a show name. Short name. Show name. I'm quiet the man. Because I'm quite the man. Wonderful. And you, the art that you, you are a mind, it's not just your name, right? That's dark.

Okay. the art that you you are a mime is it's not just your name right that's dark okay and does he sense your question oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh in popping. Yeah. Wash his ears, an example of the same memory for you. Oh, oh, not not. Buzzi? Wait, why did I say that? I don't know. I don't know. What's happening right? Up in the door.

Hello. Welcome to my home. It is a small home, but a home nonetheless. So that is sort of an example. I mean, looks like. Okay. So wait, you open the door and then we were, and then we walked into your home and then you showed us around and that's what I didn't invite you in. I don't know if you're a vampire. Oh, so you don't invite anyone in your mime.

Well, you know, we just sort of double check. You said little pretend, right? So you sort of create a reality. So let's go again. Knock, knock. Who's that? And now this was a trap because I was cut in my own bathroom in this scenario. So I'm looking to try and get out. So you're locked in the. Do we have the key or do we need to switch? Which is what I think in miming the conversational part is so important. Oh, okay. Yeah. Can I just listen to your pronunciation of we one more time. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Wow. So how did you get into mimeing? I mean Did you just start one day or? Well, you know, I sort of That ends on the television. So that the people doing

Do you know? Okay, in Montreal, we have a same-sex code just for ha ha just for last Just for last And so And so for the use-be-rear Okay Ha ha ha ha Okay Okay

So you just called just for last gigs they are very fun Oh, I love just for last gig I have seen just for last gig Okay, very I believe I was on a airplane in Thailand. I was in a boy in the hospital and I sort of been looking at the television. And what I do see is a capillard. And one of the people in the capillard is going into a pertoparty.

And so enters the pertoparty, and when he is in a pertoparty, sort of a temporary structure comes to the entrance of the pertipati. And so when he exits a pertipati, what does he see? A bird room for the people. Like he is walking into a meeting when he is really just walking out of a pertipati. And I said, that is the funniest thing

I've ever seen in my life. So funny. And then the green monster pulls the curtain away. Right. And then where do the next one? The next guy. And then it is the next guy, all totally silent. And I said, you know, I think I would like to do this. I mean, that's not mine. That silent comedy. But what does it have to do with mine?

Well, I thought for me, I tried to do things in television medium. And I said, don't do that. Go ahead, don't do that. They said don't do anything on television? Yeah, and I did that. What was it? Now was that you saying yes or was that you crying when they told you not to do anything on television? Oh my God, correct. And so I think for me it is something that this is a listen, you have a face for a paper bag.

And so I... Oh no. Well, I can't be on television anymore. So what do I do? I become a prime. And I am so good at being a prime skater. Carman. Is this podcast the only place that you've ever performed? Well, I would argue professionally.

I prefer to be in the park the time. Sure. Do you get paid to do it in the park? Sometimes. OK. Well, then yes. I mean, is it busking, though? Is that primarily what you're up to?

I'm sure. Yes. Absolutely. And what I'll do is I'll mine pulling a little ice cream cone out of my ice cream cone holder and I'll get a new knee or a tini from someone and I will hand off the ice cream cone and that sort of part of my practice. You hand off like the sort of pretend ice cream cone. Well yes, I pretend that there is a physical ice cream cone in my hand and then you that you you pulled out of an ice cream cone holder. Why? And then I do physically pulling ice cream cone out of my ice cream cone holder. Okay. So you have one my one and one actual one. Well, it is mostly just

an actual one. And sometimes I just miss because the freezer freezes my hand so cold I can't feel if they're all right. It's what I understand. It seems to me like, you're just selling ice cream in the park. Is that what you're saying? Well, that's what my dad says. Wait, you're not the guy from the Chicago. So Saturday in the park, a man selling ice cream. I'm the guy from some musical soul and dance a pal with John. Oh, just live just your ear. What? Do you sing any Italian song? Oh, I do.

You sure you're not the guy from Chicago song? I don't think so. I don't know the reference. It sounds to me like you're an ice cream salesperson. Primarily, which is not bad. I mean, everyone needs to start somewhere, but I mean, it doesn't even sound like you're mimeing in the park. You're just pulling out ice cream and giving them

getting tunis from it. And But sure, I was proud to have my day job, but I do lots of professional mimeing outside of the ads. Okay. Like what? Do you know, open mic nights? Sure. I've performed it a few in my day. So I pay a $100 every night,

unless I can bring two friends, and then they sit in the front row, and then I get to do my act. So this is a paid-a-place situation. This is not open-mic, it sounds like. Well, it's an open-mic in the sense that, yes, I am paying to be a part of it. And the place is open while you're performing.

Well, I'm doing it's correct. And there is a mic. And there is a microphone sometimes. Sometimes the venue's so small. Do you need the mic too small for a microphone? Yeah. This just can't even get one in. Tiny venues.

So what was your question? Do you need a microphone though, because you're a mime? Yes, and I'm being so quiet. Do you want to see me do some of my act? Yeah, I would love to. OK, this is a rope. Do you see? Yeah. And I'm pulling the rope some of my acts? Yeah, I would love to. Okay. This is a rope. Do you see? Yeah.

And I'm pulling the rope. You're just pulling on the mic cord right now. I don't know what you want. I think the part is that he's also saying what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Mimes are usually so quiet that, and it is a parents what they're doing when they're doing it.

And we're like, oh my God, I can't believe the thing that they're actually doing is not actually in the hands. How many men do you not get? That's a good point. Probably only zero. Sure. And so what I would say to you is that once this is a, how do you say an audio medium, right? Yes. So I just want to make sure that your audience knows that I'm doing it so well. So I, you know, maybe I go, you know, like, oh, I'm hurting a cup and my hand is grasping it so

you're actually holding a cup, but I'm saying it's an, but I'm letting them know because it's an idea. I mean, my, my my is like, you know, like, this is me holding a cup, right? You can tell that there's a cup. They're supposed to be a cup. And then I put it up to my lips and I go, and then I be like, where are you kidding me with this? And then I wipe my lips like, oh yeah, wow. Is that pretty good, Skettaker? That's great, wow.

Okay, but it's very, very, very, very, okay, I hear I am a ministerial and I'm, I'm, I'm in clapping my hands. You're literally clapping right now. Skett, I don't know what you want from me. What I want is traditional, I mean, maybe you're. You're literally clapping right now. Get that. I don't know what you want from me. What I want is traditional. I mean, maybe you're doing a new kind of mind where you're not actually miming things, but.

I am miming very well by my standards of mine. By your standards. Why? But by anyone else's standards, this is bad mind. To you. By anyone else's standards, I mean, to me, Edgar, what is like close captioning mimics that it's for everybody, right? I guess so.

Don't come, Mr. Right. Look at these. Okay, here we go. That's it. It's close captioning for my. I guess not against disabled people. No, Brock. It's accessibility.

Okay. Sure. Yeah, it's for it's it's mining for everyone on a podcast. No, it's my issue right now. As you see, my arms are both in casts. Yeah, what happened? You're are you able to scratch this cab on your nose with those? No, it's been tough. I've been doing that kind of heel because of the bar. Because of the power. So here's what I'm saying is I have the main big show maker here coming up. Oh wow. Yes.

It is a miming show. I got on the showcase. You got on the showcase. Did you parry? The jeeper your showcase. Wow. I got on the showcase. It's just for left vent couvert.

Do you think Vincent will be there? Vincent? The monster. Vincent the monster. Oh, but he. Bigger little green monster. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there.'s just for laughs, Vancouver. Do you think Vincent will be there? Vincent. The monster.

Vincent, the monster. Oh, a little green monster. I love it. It won't be there in person because it is in Vancouver, which is sort of an offshoot of the main just for laughs. So I probably will be there in person, but he will have got some sort of. He's so funny.

Maybe one of his helpers will be there. Yeah. I love it when the mascot is as funny as the performers. Yeah. They're to me watching just for laughs gags. There's no difference between how funny the gags are and how funny Vincent I didn't know his name is Vincent. Oh, yeah, of course it is We sent a little green monster Yeah, where are we gonna ask?

Yeah, you say sometimes it's funny. I went to mascots Of funny other than the people are we sort of like your little mascots in a way yeah I mean you're funnier than me so yeah I guess so yeah you're kind of like my mascots yeah you're like the minions of and I'm grew wow grew is funny in his own right but he's kind of cranky he's my favorite

mine you like grew is my favorite mine I don't know that he's a mine I mean he's carrying suitcases. He's French. He is French. Yeah, that's a good point. He's so that he doesn't. He's not right. Really. He was not in the movies. How would he does? I look I dare you Please send me pictures of brew carrying a suitcase. I know you have to at least in one movie. Please send me pictures of Bruce Carrey's suitcase. I know he has to at least in one movie. No, so he does some action in the miming sort of the girls in the movie when we've running around and he's sort of wave his arms to and fro.

It's very, very amusing. Yeah. So you have this big show coming up. Why? How are you preparing? Well, you know, it's kind of hard because, both of my arms, as you can see, are in these cast right now.

And it is sort of with miming, moving your hands back and forth is very impertinent. So I've been preparing a lot mentally in order to do such things. So do exercise. You have to do it physically though. I mean, that's great. That's great.

You know, it's hard. I look, you know, people aren't going to be looking at your accent. Well, it's hard. And, you know, he or she can't do it. We show I've come this episode around I have high-tech I can be a great girl. Oh, I see that French Glad to see Mr. Ryan you've taken the channel once or twice in your day. I always have something about wet ground when I started to get excited your dad. I thought you said something about wet ground when I started to get excited. So I held an incision and he did. I had incision. I had incision. I had incision.

And so I mean, it was those people who I sort of saw what I do is I sit in the chair in the corner, a tall chair so I can see everything that's happening on the stage. It's sort of like Dave Grohl or Axel Rose when they broke their legs. Sure. They would just sit in the chair the entire performance. Did they make some kind of back? So yes. They have to use the same chair.

It is so nice to know that it has a performance of doing this because for me it is the same, right? I sit there and I hire somebody, his name is David and I go, we are creating a book and then David was sort of with his hands, make a little box. So that's sort of like a part of the performance and then I say, oh, we are, we are knocking and going in the door and it's a two bedroom apartment and it's for sale. So it's clean, but it's not normally this clean and David is sort of to the actions,

you know? Okay. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's good to have an assistant if you can't physically do the work. I got a little bit lost. Was everything you said happens on stage? So Scott earlier, you asked me where I got into mine and really did it, but they I'm just so shy. I would not have thought that about you. You're so gregarious. I come to go from the, it goes, oh. There's that psycho-eyed little person. And so I just thought I said, okay, I'm shy, I'm quiet. What can I do?

And so I said, okay, I look up, jumps for psycho-eyed little boys. And I- You have not stopped talking to Duke out here. You have not stopped talking to Duke out here. Once again, Scott, if this is a stage show, I'll be very quiet, very good at my job. And this is not your medium. So I mean, people people to know what's happening

I so when people see you on stage aside from the fact that you're telling everyone every single thing that you're doing You're very quiet. We're not telling David every single thing that we're doing that we're doing that we he knows what to do with me But he is so quiet All right, well, that sounds great. Where can people see this show? at midnight at the midnight slut. At the midnight slut? You know the pizza shop. Come to these sluts, make it a little earlier. I got a bed around 10.

It's so hard because of the day of El Fitzgerald's release. Who you know? I don't know what you just said. It's hard because the end of the day it's who you know. It's who you know. And for me it is a who do I know. Now I know you you just it's hard because the end of the day to you know who you know and for me it is a who do I know now I know you so that might be nice maybe you could give me an earlier slot or the JFL and Vancouver give them a slot I'll try to give you a slot earlier oh thank you to come on yes you have to learn a second language I Scott. I do. I need to learn bad French, I guess.

Look who you at, mate, it's failed. You. I don't know what that was either, but look, we're running out of time here on your segment. I'm so sorry. Mine? Yes, yours. Can you believe it? So sorry. Did you think there was more?

This is about as long as seconds run on this shit. I'm just opening up to you and you're like, okay, time to go. No, I'm sorry. That's the way things go on these shows. We need, you know, okay. We don't have unlimited time unfortunately. Doesn't look. Number one, one.

Oh, quiet the mind. Quay, quay. Very funny. Big is so funny. Yes. They have a new show on dropout TV called very important people where Vic hosts and interviews, improvisers who have been put into elaborate makeup that they then have revealed to first themselves. So they don't know what they're going to be. And then it is revealed to

Vic. Oh, that's nice. And then they have an improvised interview. It's really funny. I think Vic is in a Hallmark movie as well. Yeah, a Hanukkah movie on a Hanukkah movie. A Hanukkah movie. Yeah. Okay. I gotta see that. Later on in that episode, by the way, if you hear the whole thing, we have Matt Apadaka from Downey, California. He comes on his henchman mark mark a screen. Wait, is Matt himself from Downey, California? Okay. Yes, anytime I pass the downy sign on the witchery way, I would, it must be the five.

Yeah, it's the five. What is this, the California? I always take a picture of it in text. It's a letter. No, that's very sweet in his hometown. That's very sweet. So that's a very funny episode his hometown. That's very sweet. So that's a very funny episode.

Listen to the entirety of that. All right, we're going to take a break. Boy, this is exciting, Paul. If we come back, we're going to crack the top 10. Oh my god, if we come back and we crack the top 10, can you imagine? Can you imagine that happening? Maybe we'll come back then. Maybe.

Who knows? Listen to these ads and then see if we do. And don't look at the time to see how much time it's left. Cheaters never prosper. It's like, oh my god, when people... They're trying to do that. They always do. When people, when people, but they sometimes they get caught, but first they prosper.

Oh hell yeah. When people put like an Instagram thing, like last photo of your pet, no cheating. I know so many people are cheating. So many people are cheating. Oh, I hate cheaters. I hate cheaters so much. I love cheaters. Joy Greco. Maybe you'll tell that story when we go better. I think that's locked in as one of the people have heard too much. We'll be right back with you. Bye, baby. We might be back with

your top 10 after this. Back with you, baby, we might be back with your top 10 after this. All right, comedy bang bang. We are back. Cheaters, cheaters. Hi, welcome to cheaters. We hear it. Cheaters are undergoing a transition period. We know you trust us and we, that's not lost on us. We hear it. Cheaters respect you and your wishes. Paul, we're here and we've come to that moment in the countdown. This is a real turning point where we crack the top 10.

Now you, you had originally said, what if this were just 10 episodes? Not enough, I say. I think people are traveling during the holidays. They had long car trips. They have long plane trips. They count on these best. If this were just 10 episodes, not enough, I say. I think people are traveling during the holidays. They had long car trips, they have long plane trips, they count on these best. They have long fingernails? Yeah.

Like that Guinness Book person. She just passed away a couple of days ago. You texted me. I started following the Guinness Book World Records Instagram and it has been an absolute delight. Because you know, I got to see the world's tallest man and the world's shortest man walking together, which was great.

But also, they've added a new level to it where they said goodbye to what of the Guinness Records family, who was a woman who had a one-point held the record for the world's longest fingernails. The video is discussed. It's horrible. It's horrible. But she passed away. She passed away. It's horrible. I mean, she passed away.

She passed away. And we'll talk about why you're following that a little later. I would love that they did if they would put out an in memoriam every year. Yeah, of all the record holders who passed away. Yeah. I wonder if they do records for like most Oscars one and stuff like that. And the song that accompanies it. Yeah. Old-time rock and roll because it starts with just those old records off the shelf. Yeah.

Let's take those old records off the shelf. Cause that is like dead. A little too upbeat for an immemorial montage maybe. But it's the lyrics too well. Yeah. Yeah. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. They could slow it down, like not do a new arrangement,

but just slow the track down. Yeah, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I don't know why you tell me about that. Um, let's do it. Paul, let's break the talk, Dan. Yeah, let's do it. We came back from the commercial we may as well, right? We said we were gonna do it. Yeah. If we came back, we said we were. So let's do it. This is your choice for episode number 10! Number 10! Okay, episode 10. Wow.

Now this has got to be a good one. I would have made the top 10. I would assume it's good, but I don't know. It's got to be a good one. I would miss. It made the top 10. I would assume it's good, but I don't know. It's got to be good. Look, nothing against, you know, 11 through 16. But they were fine. They're fine. Top 10.

That's where it's at. That's something right there. That's where it's at. It's as good as you can get until top five. Yeah. Exactly. Like, who cares about top eight, top nine? What is this, my space?

Top eight. Top eight, remember? We're a thing where you were just declaring like you people are the people I like the most. I'd be a strange, isn't it? But it was pop, it was like who's in your top eight? Who's in your top eight? Yeah.

Why am I not in your top eight? Yeah, really. Interesting. Was I in your top eight? I don't know. I did. Because when was that in your top eight? I don't know I did Because when when was that even around I Haven't had a page like that in so long. No, I can't even tell you I can't remember like my space is a blur to me and I and I did not did not really ever get the Facebook thing I know there's an official page, but I so I just it's been decades since that is

Been anything I paid any attention to decades Decades This is episode 10 this episode 817 817 from June 18th of 2023 Smack dab in the dog This is an episode called Nostalgia Bombs. Nostalgia Bombs. Sounds violent.

Yeah, especially the nostalgia part. Right. This is an episode that has our good friend, Nick Crowell, another person that has been doing the show ever since the early days. Rick Crowell, did you get Nick Crowell? I friend Nick Crowe, another person that has been doing the show ever since the early days. It Rick Roll. Did you get Nick Roll? I got Nick Rolled.

Nick, if you're listening and I certainly hope you are, you gotta start singing, never gonna give you up so that people can Nick Roll you. Make, please just make us, it doesn't have to be long, make, brief video of you singing the chorus. Rick Astley isn't gonna be around forever, man. No, man. And we're gonna, we're. Rick Astley isn't gonna be around forever, man. No, man.

And we're gonna, because we're gonna kill him. We're gonna be looking for people to sub in. Yes. You're the closest we have. Yes, you're only hope, Nick Rol. So Nick Rol, what was I going to do?

Can you imagine if you're fucking old, dude, right? And you're retired. Right. And then some little robot shows a new beat to feature that's like, you're our only hope. Dude, it's like, I go to the theater for movies. I don't need a droid coming over to my house. Sorry, little dude. Why don't you try that shit at Philadelphia?

They tear robots apart there. Is that like the video at McDonald's? The Philadelphia one I just saw? It goes around every year from what I was reading, but it's about, okay, let me explain a little bit of this. So, the ostensibly the video is a guy going up to the counter at a McDonald's and saying, putting the cashier on blast or as he's saying,

I'm gonna check you because you wrote down your phone number for my boyfriend. And I need to check you for this. And then, and she like kind of opens her eyes wide like this guy is being confrontational to me. And then the other women in the who are working there all band together and gang up on him and are like, you're not checking anything. This is Philadelphia.

He's like, whoa, damn, I thought I was in the suburbs. They're like, no, this is Philadelphia. So that's the one thing. It's very nice to see a video where all the women basically beat a guy who's intimidating down. Then I find out the story behind the video is the guy creating it is a prankster. No. Is not, okay, this is the weird part of it.

Is not gay, but plays this gay character, and admits yes, he used to have a problem with gay people. And that's all by now and now he in fact i'm celebrating by doing this character now after playing this character he realizes that everyone's just a human being

it's just like are you fucking kidding me i'm not god and so his idea of a prank is to go up and get in someone's face who's just trying to like work at their job with this fake bullshit, but that it's being touted is like, oh, it's a feel good video

because the women all band together. But I think the guy making it should be tried at the hey. Yeah, agree. What I was a friend guilty. What I was referring to was there was a sort of like, I forget what it was called, but the idea was that this robot was going to travel across the country and it was like a goodwill kind of thing. And so it went to several places without incident came to Philadelphia and then it was torn apart. Which is, it's, it bumps me out, but also really makes me laugh. And by the way, we've talked about this with Tani, I believe. Tani knew some, if you ever see one of those delivery robots, kick it over. Why? Cause it's taking so much job.

Like, we looked into, we were kind of joking about it. Like, should we be kicking this over? And then, I believe we sent some news articles back and forth where we realized, yes, we should be kicking these over. But what about the people who don't get their order? Who cares? Go to, hey, Ebenezer Scrooge, don't yell down at the boy to go fucking buy you a turkey.

Go to the market yourself. Yeah, so what if your legs don't work? Scrooge's legs did work though, right? That's not in the story. You know what they never mentioned. They never mentioned his legs at all. For all we know, Scrooge didn't have legs. This whole story might be ableist.

So, I Patrick Stewart did it kneeling down. Oh, wow. Wait, I thought he did it because he wanted to honor Dorf. Well, it was a two-pronged approach. He initially was gonna kneel on some shoes and they said, let's take the shoes out of it. Let's take the shoes out of it just so we're covered in case Groot doesn't have legs. Oh no, my shoes are gone.

Salt in pepper. Who has stolen my shoes? That's what I was doing was, by the way, it was Patrick Stewart on SNL, introducing salt in pepper, who has stolen my shoes? That's what I was doing. It was, by the way, it was Patrick Stewart on SNL introducing salt and pepper. Oh, yes, that's so. So salt and pepper. Mm, pepper. Okay, so Nick Kroll is on this episode. You know him from oh, hello. And big mouth is the thing he's currently doing. He's a standup comedian as well.

He's been a good friend to comedy bang bang over the years. In the early episodes, he used to do characters. We talk about that a little bit in the clip you're gonna hear. He's beyond that now. Well, we talk about it in the clip of why maybe he doesn't do that anymore. And he's talking about the new season of Big Mouth,

the spin off human resources. And then a voice for that? No, interestingly enough, that comes up every time he's on the show. Neither. And then in between clips, John Gemberling, very funny and provider, comes on and played an alien corbago. You'll hear a little bit of him in the next clip.

We're going to skip to Gillowsary. This is his first appearance on the countdown as Yago Lamento, who is a, well, you'll hear it. It's why we have the title nostalgia bombs. This is your episode number 10. Number 10. You know I'm from Big Math is the co-creator in Star. Please welcome back to the show, Nick Crowell. Thank you. Hello. Hello.

So excited to be here thrilled to talk about just where the insurrections went wrong when they went right. And just jump in. How are you doing? Hey, don't swing this background on me. I'm the interviewer. You're the interviewer. You know me. You know my tricks. You're too uncomfortable in this hot seat. I'll tell you that much.

I've drank all my Tejana ice tea. That's right. You had a big glass of that too. Do you dare drink more? Do you have the break? I would dare drink more, but there's none left. All there is you had all of it. I drank it all. I drank the last cup of Tejana iced unsweetened tea. I believe it's Tejava. Tejana is a term for a type of music. Yes.

That your old character, El Chupacabra, would have... Talk about the hot seat. Can you do him anymore? Can you do Fabrice? Can you do it to those guys? I can do it? Can I do any of the hits? Bobby, bottle service, Italian, still on the table. For some reason, still fine. Italian, still okay. And then maybe Noreal team.

And of course, I think if I made El Chupacabra from Spain, I could do it. Okay, let's do it. Let's reboot him as Spaniards. Yeah, okay. El Chupacabra. Well, I'm from Spain. Spain. I'm from Spain.

And therefore, it's fine. It's fine now. I have no idea what a Chupacabra is. I understand. Goats and let's see. It's lost all. It's gone. It's lost all of its magic.

Do you think it's fine because it's European? Is that what? My feeling is that Northern European, and not even, I guess, Spain, anything west of, let's say, no, all of Europe is on the table still. Okay. For a white American man. But human resources is, it's the spin off of big mouth. Big mouth, of course, is the seminal show.

It's been out there for now 25 seasons. We're going to do where we were just started writing our eighth when the strike started. Has it really been on for eight seasons? It was seven seasons. We've done seven seasons of big mouth and incredible. I had no idea it was that many. It'll be by the time it feels like just time has, it just means like feels like time is just evaporated. We're all just it really is quickly dying. Not quick enough for some of the yeah. And so a bunch of the basic, basically, the, if you haven't seen it,

the on Big Mouth, they have these characters that are, you know, we are like all the hormone monsters and shame wizards and depression, kiddies and Tito, the anxiety mosquito and love bugs and hay worms and all these characters that sounds like you're making things up right now. Well, I mean, you did make up all of us. Let's just say that's what writing is, right? With some point, we all made them up. They didn't exist. And that's why AI, excuse me. Hold on, that's why AI doesn't.

I'm trying to get him away from the mic, but he is wrestling back. No, I'm, excuse me, I'm getting back to the mic. I got something to say about how fucking cool AI is. I know I get it. And I understand it's fine. It's so hard to write a show. Just let that AI do it. I know. Well, I don't know what I mean. well I did I was someone show me like writing socks writing socks it's so boring let these a I s's people know realize how boring it is to sit in a room all day and fight yourself for meeting snacks what a fucking night and then tagging and then having a come out and being like and what season and who and what was the show?

That's my impression of you. I don't know these things. Yeah. What am I supposed to track? What was just the host the show? I have a bare minimum. It was already a hurt you lean and getting you in the chair. God damn right.

Go watch your show as well. Absolutely. Look, and that's what the show's about. Yeah. That's what it is. But it is. So it's all these. How many episodes of comedy bang, Greg? Did I do?

How many have I done? No, how many did I do? You've done about a thousand episodes. No, not of this. I have the TV show. You did, um, let's say I might see. I think you did about four seasons, like 10 episodes. I think you did about 40 to 50 episodes.

You are so wrong. Five seasons, 110. See, we don't have to know these things about each other. I need to know how many four night events you've had. Okay. All right, anyway, we need to get to our next guest. He's an Estalgia guide. First time on the show, please welcome Yago Lamento.

Hello, Scott. Hi, Yago. So nice to meet you. Hello, these nicks. Hi, hi. Hi, Yago. Nice to meet you. Hi, hello.

Where are you from? Yago. I'm from Michigan. Oh, okay, great. Traverse city. Traverse city. You know, they have a film festival there. They have a film festival,

Cherry Capital of the World. Cherry Capital of the World. That's world Michael Moore. Michael Moore does a Stupas like the more does his stuff there? Yeah, what what makes it the cherry capital of the world they grow a lot or they It's bullshit. They're just they just I like to put them in a soda every once in a while. Yes, really do. Yeah, sure Why not if you have a little Marasino cherry there? Oh, man, I haven't had a Marasino cherry Oh, do you remember Marasino? Oh wow, that's not? If you have a little maraschino cherry there. Oh, man. I haven't had a maraschino cherry.

Oh, do you remember maraschino cherry? Oh, wow. It's nice to meet you by the way. Yeah, nice to meet you. But are you nostalgic for maraschino cherry? You already remember me, don't you? Yeah. I feel.

I'm familiar. From like a minute ago. Oh, and I'm nostalgic, guys. I'm what's called a back kick. A back kick? Is that a back kick or reverse back a back kick? A back kick? A reverse back kick. Basically, I look back at things that have everyone already knows about. Oh, okay. We're described the process here. Well, I'm able to channel distinct memories, childhood memories, adolescent memories,

from each of you, from all of us that we've shared. You're able to draw these out from us. They called nostalgia visions on nostalgia readings. And they could we do a nostalgia read. I have one you Scott. Okay. nostalgia is very powerful. It's very scary. Scott is that. Oh, I'm sorry. I do remember. I thought there might be more warning. It's hard to recal that, man. It's that empty feeling when you can't go home. The year is 1996. Okay. Oh. You're at your favorite candy store. I'm 26 years old.

Anyone remember Gushers? Sure. Gushers? Not really, but yeah. What about Google Balls? Hi. The yogurt candy, anyone? Sure, I know those.

They had chocolate on the outside. No yogurt. Mushed a pair on the inside. Hmm. There was so merely and remember the tagline No, if you don't if you don't spit them out. They ain't Google man That was the tagline Google balls The hard cutoff on that The stage of music

Guys just say you had me yogurt Yogurt pretzels what were they? You're just you know you're thinking of yogurt pretzels. I am it's a yogurt candy Yeah, I don't I mean I don't really remember it, but I know go good yeah go good. That's children eat go I don't remember I don't maybe you're tapping into your own stuff. Do all of us, all about, do you remember Pizza Hut? Yeah, sure. Making it great.

Nobody. Close your eyes. Okay, sorry. It's 1987. Sure, okay. Close your eyes. They're closed. I need you to concentrate, to take you back.

SCAT 17. It's the Pizza Hut that looks like a tavern, everyone, remember that? Hmm, yeah. Well, you're eating it home. You're not at a pizza hut at all. Your mother made her famous recipe for counter steak. You know that steak that sits on the counter to rot for hours? You know what I'm talking about? It's cold, the frown.

Yes, your father and mother eat very quickly to go upstairs and have sex, leaving you alone at the table. But your brother's there. You sit wondering if your big brother is going to fuck you. He is. He is. Oh, I just broke the connection. Oh, thank, thank good.

Peace out. Oh. Ah, I... Look, I remember pizza. Wow So sad and creepy isn't it? Yeah, I don't remember the counter stake any of that is that is that you you guys I had he had me till counter stake is my family's to leave pieces. They got The counter yeah, we're in this on the same page. Yeah, they're that's right and then I'm in daddy Yeah, we're in this on the same page. Yeah, that's right. And then I'm in daddy. They go upstairs and fuck yeah, yeah, awkward with your brother I got a bit peckish at the idea of his brother fucking him. Yeah, I know you're

I do see come yeah, you suddenly you had a dollar signs on your polygraphed on your eyeballs exactly yes for some reason I don't know that I relate to any of that beyond oh Close your eyes. All right, okay. It's 1998. All right, you walk into a game stop in your boot cut jeans and platforms to see Zelda's O'Karina of time on the shelf You pull it down feel it's matte finish and then start to suck on the video game box. On the corner, right there in the store. And you do it. You take the corner and suck on it before you know it. You're jerking your little dick off with your feet in front of all the nerves at the store.

Right? I, okay. I, uh, O'Korea, a punk. Okay, Yargo. You know, you had me... A little bit of baddened about the body. What was that? That's a nostalgia bomb.

Sometimes I have these nostalgia bombs that come up too. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b You remember that somebody work at Arizona I Sing a dish Anyway, Jin singing is a Arizona. Oh, yes, I remember those things in those are what do you call them? Do you remember that Arizona sees owned by the same guy who made crazy horse the 40s? Oh really and they that's why the the bottles looked similar in design The year is 1975 You're six years old Nick similar in design. You want to hook up with Corina Chase, the cool hot teacher who puts out. So you go by her Lion King Tamagachi, but by the time you save enough money for her, she's already dead. Oh, that was an assumption for high school. I was trying to figure out whether it was for Lion King, Tamagachi.

These memories are all very product-based. It's the franchise. Yeah. Would you like to play? Oh, wait, I have one more. Oh, I can't wait a minute. You would have been so. You only have one more?

No, I have many more. You would have been so great on I love the 80s. Thank you, really. Let me take you back, Scott. OK. This is for you. OK. It's Germany, 1913 now.

Not for Nick? I see it. Yes, I see it right now. You fall in love with the Nazi sky. And you round up Nick's Grandfather. Okay, I don't know. And take him to a slow train. Heading to a work. I can see it like it's happening right now.

Nick's Grandfather knows he's going to die, but you have to impress that Nazi chick, don't you? So you put him on the train with no regrets. The last name job with the cheese-hearsless. What? What's the flavor? Blasted goldfish. Flavor-blasted goldfish.

Flavor-blasted goldfish, yeah. Would you like to play a little game, Scott? I, yes. This is called Remember This. Okay. It sounds very similar to what we've already been doing ready. Yeah, hold on I wait you asked if I was ready, but you What's this I remember this I remember this veggie lasagna

That's not like a product that is ever not away I've never done a way. I know this is this. Break walls. Still around. I know this is smoking section. Oh, sure. I'm nostalgic for that. I know this is the lunar landing.

I know this is this. I know this is this. This is this. I know this is the Russian. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, the town. Here's a rusting. Oh, he's a good one. Oh, here's a great one. Here's a great one. He's a great nostalgia, but the poppy Davidson. What? The poppy Davidson. The poppy Davidson. Why you were just melting along with it. The poppy Davidson. Okay. You were melting along. I love melting along. He's great. He's living teller. He's great

Hey, remember the song hey soul sister. Yeah, not from not too long ago Train right train was a train Remembery run. Yeah, yeah, okay Pastels. DVDs. Hard Play-Doh. Scooby-Doo Andes with Sains. Kid with Eams with the whole pig inside.

Frog and Toad go to the Gulf War. Shoots and lives. Banjoe commit suicide. Jamba juice. Jamba Jamba and Jovi juice. That clear little soap bottle with the orange fish on the front of it. You know the little aquarium scene? The Grinch outfit wreaking after Jim Carrey takes it off from all this way.

Shrek Reese's with the green peanut butter inside. The 50th anniversary of pop dogs, egg flavored. Natalie and Bruglia has a water birth at the Super Bowl after him chose. That's it for that one. Yargo, do you have one last one? Is that, I see you team up something. Do I have one last one? I do not. All right, fair enough.

Asked and answered number 10. A nostalgia bombs, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba That's some day I would love for like David Casper, someone to tell, about what he did with a spare closet. A spare closet? Yes. All right, let's take a break. When we come back, we'll have, we're going to round out, if, sorry, if we come back. We've already cracked the top 10, but we're going to get to the final clip

that we're going to play on this particular episode. That's right. Our number nine will be after the break if we come back. Yeah, so make your peace with that. Yeah, and your God. And your God makes this peace with it too. That's right. Or her. Hopefully all of that will happen while you listen to these ads. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Welcome back. Comedy Bang Bang, best of 2023. Part two. You made it. You made it. You made it. You're going to take you to part two.

What do you take me to? Part two. Part two. Um, some good clips this year. Yeah, and some bad ones. Sure, some terrible ones. Do you think there's more good ones than bad ones? That's what really counts.

I don't know. I can't tell. It's hard to say. Because the top 16, they get a lot of votes. Yeah. The bottom 16, they don't get a lot of votes. And then those middle, and it is just the 32 episodes, right? Yeah.

What if 16, 16, 16 would be 50, yeah, or 44, is that right? Yeah, but this show comes out every goddamn week. Yeah, so that's about it. So it's probably like 16 great ones, 16 shitty ones, 16 fine ones. 16, five, and then we're good. But that's good like 16 great ones, 16 shitty ones, 16 fine ones. 16 fine and routine good. But that's good for a show, isn't it? It's not bad. It's not bad. It would be terrible if we had terrible clips. How many how many great episodes of Mad About You Were There? One. I have no idea. I have no idea. Honestly, like stuff. I was looking

at some of the ones that didn't crack the top 16. And there's some great ones. Yeah, there's some great ones in there. So this is a good year. But let's keep the people. Let's get to the next episode. This is your choice for number nine. Number nine.

All right, episode number nine. What does this one have in store for a Scott? I know you have all the answers. Oh, here we go. I'm gonna tell you the number first, episode 788. Okay. I like how you look at me meaningfully when you say the episode number, as if I'm instantly going to say, oh boy.

Oh, well, the date may give you a little bit of a clue. It's December 11th of 2023. That was this month. No, 20, sorry, 2022, 2022. This month last year. Yes. I don't know. Well, uh, is it the Christmas special? It's of course the 2022 holiday spectacular. That's right. So traditionally on the show, it was hard during COVID, but traditionally during... I thought it was easy, actually. I thought COVID was a breeze.

You enjoyed it. Yeah, I missed it. COVID nostalgia. Yeah. I do have a little bit of COVID nostalgia. I do have a little bit of COVID nostalgia. Because there was like, you didn't have to go to work and stuff. Yeah.

It was a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of COVID nostalgia. I remember COVID. I a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of and just get there in 10 minutes. Yeah. It was like, once about a time in Hollywood, times. Oh, it's so good. I miss it. Let's bring it back. Probably is going back. We talked about this before that there should be like a, like a couple of weeks quarantine. We should, you know, other countries, they all take a month off or whatever. Yeah.

Let's take a COVID month. Why not? Everyone pretends they have, well, I'm not saying we all get it because I don't want anyone to pass away or get sick. Yeah. Let's all pretend we have it. It's all agree.

We're going to pretend we all have COVID. Not that we're afraid of getting it, but that we all have it. Yeah, and knowing can call anyone on it and say, wait a minute, you know, because if one person does the whole thing crumbles. It's held together by a gossamer strand. Yeah, so this is the 22 holiday spectacular and traditionally these are big episodes where I put out an email to everyone's favorite guests and it all depends on how many people respond and the longer we do it, the more people respond.

It used to be, I would say, hey, can you do it on this day and maybe five people would say, yeah, I could do it. And that would be it. But now these are just huge cluster, folks. So so many people were on it this year. Paul F. Tompkins, you were on it. Sean Distan was on it. John Gabris, Lily Sullivan, Carl Tarte, Jessica McKenna, Will Hines. just to come McKenna, Wilheim. Just give this shout out to Lily Sullivan. Um, yeah, yeah, it's time. I really like it. It's time. Yeah, I like her. Okay, we'll hear a little bit from her.

We also, Wilheim's Vic McAillus, Lisa Gilroy and Gil-Ozary, who we just heard from. So this is what we're going to hear. These are like three hour long episodes. We're going to hear a little sample of this. We're going to hear little sample of this. We're gonna hear four clips. You clip in the floor.

Did you call me four clips? Yeah, four clips. There you go. This happened last year. The first clip we're gonna hear is Paul. We're gonna hear you as Obi-Ran Kenobi. Explain Obi-Ran Kenobi. Well, it's my most successful character.

And he was a guy. I think I did it three times. I know you did it in Atlanta. Yeah, I did it once on the show. And I just didn't have anything but the name. That's all I had. I really didn't know what to do. And then during that appearance, you were plugging the tour.

And I said that I was going gonna be on the tour with you. As I said, as I'm gonna be, I'll be there. And so then I made good on that promise. I somehow by the way, keep accidentally on my notes, keep hitting delete? All? No, the transcribing thing. So it's been transcribing what,

I'm frantically trying to erase it. It's been transcribing everything you've been saying for the past few Well, stop because I don't like that. Well, I could just listen to the episode back and do it. Yeah So And then I did it a third time and I think that's it So this would be the third time I think this is the third and final appearance of Obi-Wan Kenobi final for good You say I think why I don't know. I enjoy him. So we're going to hear Obi-Ran Kenobi.

And then we're going to hear Sean Distan. This is his first appearance on the countdown. He is portraying McGruff the crime dog. And then in between clips, I believe John Gabers comes on as intern Gino. You'll hear a little bit of him in the next clip, which is Lily Sullivan as friend Cheska Bowen, Aize. And then the final clip you'll hear is Karl Tarte

as Charles Barkley. And that is also the final clip you will hear before you die. Yes, this is the ring episode. Yep. Sorry guys, you have what, a week. Yeah. So technically, I guess you could listen to the next couple

Episodes of the best because they come out in the week. Yeah, the ring rules are seven days, right? That's ring rules All right, so let's hear it. This is your choice for episode number nine Number nine. I don't remember anything about them. Please welcome back to the show. Oh be Ron Kenobi Hey, thanks for having back Scott. Oh I don't remember anything about him. Please welcome back to the show, Obi Ron Kenobi. Hey, thanks for having me back, Scott. Oh, I don't, what a weird introduction. I, I, I know you have, we've met a couple of times. We have met a couple of times. I don't know how it would be that guy,

but we've met before. Atlanta, Georgia together, I believe. Yeah, and we not. And also here, where the big runoff election just occurred. Okay. And we were there and I don't recall anything about you other than you don't know anything. Well, I think I would put it that way.

I think that's a bit reductive. I'm not really big on pop culture. Right, popular culture. Yeah, I'm not even to unpopular culture. Well, I made it a way, like nature, which clearly is not very popular these days with the way we're treating the earth. Also, you're sort of an eco guy.

I mean, I care about it, but... Are you doing anything about it? No. Recycling anything. I recycle, I guess. What do you mean when you say I guess? I mean, I put, when the regular trash gets full, then I start putting stuff in the recycling system.

Okay, that's not recycling. And you're putting the wrong stuff. It's full though. Yeah. Okay. That's a good point. Tell, tell us again about you. Who are you?

I'm just a, I'm just a guy by the name of Obi-Ran Kenobi. I, apparently, the Star Wars thing, but I was named after my mother. Right. Who's your mother again? Well, if I was named after what, who do you think she was? Ron. Or maybe Ron. Obi-Ran. Oh, okay. Her name named after what, who do you think she was? Ron. Or maybe Ron. Oh, be Ron. Oh, okay.

Her name was Obi-Ran. Obi-Ran. Interesting. And her name is Kenobi as well. Or your phone. No, she's traditional lady. She took my father's name. I see. Okay. Her main name is none of your business.

I use it for my bank. Oh, you use it for your bank. Yeah. In what way? What, what way do you think? You go to the bank and. Yeah, in what way? What way do you think? You go to the bank and you have it in a safety deposit box. Okay, man, let me tell you something. I like you, okay?

I don't know if that's true. I do like you and I want to be friends with you because I think you're a cool guy. I think you're a cool guy. And I know that a lot of times the way. Why don't you think I'm a cool guy? I mean, you got a podcast. Okay, I have something to break to you. Everyone'm a cool guy. I mean, you got a podcast. Okay, I have some to break to you.

Everyone is a cool guy then. I don't have a podcast. That's true, yeah, you're on mine. That's true. Would you like your own podcast? What would I talk about though? Rocks. I guess so, yeah, you want to talk about rock?

There's so many different kinds of rocks, dude. Okay, yeah, never mind. I was about to offer you a CBB present. Look, because I love nature, I really do it, right? Yeah. In lieu of pop culture. I just said stuff never appealed to me, but nature is like all around it's fascinating. There's so many different, you want to know the different kinds of rock through? Uh, sure. I'll give you five, okay? Okay. Okay. Five different thousands. Okay. Big little gray.

Brown. That's four. That's four. Under the ground. Under the ground. Really? Yeah. Everything's brown there. When you get down there. Speaking of nature, he's part of nature. He's a dog, which is one of the animal kingdom. And please welcome him back to the show, McGruff the Crime Dog. Hello, Scott. Hi.

How are you? It's great to meet you. I am. I'm fine with you. Wait, you met me before. I met you. You smelled me. I smelled you.

I sat in your back. You're what? Well, you weren't there. I said, could I use the restroom? And then you kept doing the podcast with Anders Home or something. Oh, that's right. And then I walked over to the corner and I said,

oh, I'm going to shake my leg a little bit, getting to position, drop a sick little doggy turn right here. You know, outside is called the doggy bathroom. Oh, I did not know that really all about side. All about side. When you guys say I'm gonna go outside, I go, I'm gonna go to the doggy bathroom. What happened during caveman time?

Oh, be Ron, I'm talking. I'm saying, this is a sound science fact right there. Doggy bathroom. I feel some tension is a sound science fact right there. Doggy bathroom. I feel some tension here. Hey, so yours is Obi-Ran by the way this is the graph the crowd. First of all, this is wild to meet you. Isn't it? He's a large talking dog. Yeah, you got a trench coat on. A trench coat. He's a cartoon. That's the other party.

That's right. He's drawn, which is very... But we're on like a who-frame Roger Wright bit situation. Roger Rare bit? That's right who framed Roger Norbit Now that's a single I see oh hell yeah, uh, it's so like you're the crime don't you do crimes? Oh, I don't do crime That's the big missing. Just you are crime. No, no, I'm not like that crime that you're you exist. No, I'm hit a warning I mean technically yes. I am you know laws of nature I'm hit a warn children about crimes. Oh, yeah, and you know the holiday season is a Heavy time for crime. Is there a lot of crime? I know there's a lot of depression and stuff. No crime. There's a lot of crime

Really? There's a war going on outside. No man is safe from well. I don't know what that is It's a reference to a rap song. I say it every time. I'm both true. Oh, okay. I've got one. I've never known the lack list. Is it the war against Christmas?

No, no, no, no, that's some right wing bullshit. No, there's a lot of crime happening, Scott. And I'm hit a warn you, kid. I'm thank you for having me on. So really. Oh, of course. Yeah, we have a lot of young listeners. Yeah. And a few black listeners as well.

That's a lot of them. Some of them are on the shelf. Yeah, I want to warn the kids out there about crime. There's a big crime that I've been noticing every Christmas. Oh, what is this? Santa impersonators. Santa impersonators. That's right.

Do you mean the people on the street corner who have the bell? Those are the little bells. That's right. That's who are you talking about? The guys in the mall asking people to sit on the lap and get to tell them what they want. I don't know that they're asking for it. They're begging for it.

As much as the kids want. It sounds like so what I know. So, someone who's asking for it. Who's begging for it. Oh, OK. You're talking about me, now. Yeah. I'm going to hear your guys.

Do you guys just want to fight? Get a gun. I'll give you one one punch and then I'll have two hits. You hit me. You hit in the floor. Wait, I hit you then I hit the floor to get down to there. I hit you. This is reminding me a lot of my undercover work. I went out to cover the Michael Vick dog fighting ring. Oh, he did. That's right. I had to train for years to fight. I watched a lot of dog violence then. I'm not trying to see that again. So you brought in Vic. Wow.

I brought him in. Wow. Now, let me tell you about these mall centers. OK, yeah. Now, kids, if you see a center, Tug on his beard, if it's not a real beard, here's what I want you to do. I want you to say, oh, Santa, hey, how's it going? You know what I want for Christmas? They tug on the beard? You got to play it cool. Now you're under cover kids. Okay. Santa say, hey Santa, this is really cool. You know what I want for Christmas?

A PS5. And you know what my mom wants for Christmas? Wants you to come over and fuck her. Okay, I... You give him a time and date. A time and a date, wait a minute. How far into the future, are we? I don't know, five, six days. Don't be too thirsty. Okay, because they'll know something's up. Okay, really? So it's that night. That's right.

It's something's up. They're gonna know, oh, they're on to me. They know I'm being a fraud. How young of kids should be saying, I want you to fuck my mouth. Any kid, if you're old enough to say the sentence, I need you to help me stop crying. Just real quick, I'm up to speed.

Santa is the red suit guy. Yes, you don't even know Santa is the... I'm clearly I do, he said yes. The red suit guy could be anyone. Like who wears a red suit? Daredevil? Who's another red suit guy? Any Murphy?

Sure, he's wrong. Any Murphy and Ralph? I don't know what you guys are talking about That was in the blacklist. I got that. Come on, Scotch. Yeah, you could come in a cookout. We've talked about this That's right. And we talked about this. No, no, no. It's a dog allowed to invite people to the cookout. That's a good question. Sometimes I'm not allowed. A dog who's kind of a cop. That's true. What are you trying to say? It's like a dog who's kind of a cop? That's true. And by the way. Ah! Ah! What are you trying to say? Ah!

Ah! Ah! Well, let's get to our next guest. She, uh, sees a, uh, she's a social media expert. She's here to give us tips about social media. Please welcome back to the show for Inchesca Bull and A's. Jesus fucking Christ! I don't, I am not a social media expert.

Like, do not give tape. How many times I have to tell you that? I'm sorry. You, you, sorry, you give advice about social media. Advice is what you do, sir. I don't give anything. I guess I know about it, but why I didn't... What's one tip? That's not why I am here.

One tip about social media. Don't fucking be a fucking idiot. He stole the fucking beat. That's not the note-shap out again for this one. No, that doesn't. I'm so sorry, you're so sick. I'm not sick. What are you in?

I'm so sorry, you're dying. I know it's not me. I'm so sad that you are almost dead. What are you talking about? You're not sick? I'm not sick. No, I mean, people have said I don't look all that well today. Why do you look like that?

Why do I look like what? Well, you look like you're dying. I don't think I look like I'm dying. I mean, I'm just supposed to see. I'm so worried for you. All right, nice to have you. You need to get to our next guest. No, no, I just got here.

Thanks for it. Yeah, I know. You'll miss me. I don't know what it is with characters these days asking if I miss them. I don't miss them so much. I don't miss my guests when they're not on. Well, can I ask if everybody else is asking? Do you sure? No, I miss them. I don't miss so much. I don't miss my guests when they're not on. Well, can I ask if everybody else is asking?

Do you miss me? No, I did not. When I barely remembered you were alive until you showed up here today. Why am I missing? I bet you miss me so much. I miss you. I miss you.

I miss you, too. It's been such a long time. I feel like it's been since last Christmas. Us, Kinzo's only get together on Christmas. We do, we do. She's like a wacky aunt. You know, wacky aunt. Waco Jaggo. Waco Jaggo. You're like a wacky, you know, wacky, wacko Jaggo.

You're like my big son. Thank you. Because you know I have one for tall. You're one for tall. That was a salad. Okay, I can't tell because he knows Thanksgiving specials. Not a lot of people have heard of him. He's stuck to it.

I got a lot of trouble first staring at a woman's breast once. So I locked into your eyes. I had no idea the rest of the house. You're going to need to stand up for you my stand up routine I have a TV's bounce bounce bounce I am a comedian on the side You see B. Oh, God.

I do love the comedy. I was a narrow team. So you're here to do this? Yeah, let's go. Do you never made a team now? I never made the team. No, I have a question every year. I've never made it.

I'm so sorry for you. Maybe that's your whole thing. Why are you so bitter? Yeah, I don't think I've made it. That's why you have a bucket. Every guest that you've had on this show so far. Hey, see you've insulted them. Not Gina.

Not me. Yeah, Gina and I have a great relationship. We're the fucking ring. He's going to get fucking out. We're working out every single morning. So we have a bond. We're training. We're doing fucking fend fan recreationally.

Yeah, fucking cranking crazy. And I got him on winstrels and D balls Oh my god steroids Halloween. We had so much fentanyl November first. It was great. We went out together collecting Okay, so what guy? What out of four of you? Why is he so? And these three or three of the most obnoxious people I've ever had You used to be chill you used to be chill. You used to be chill.

I'm still chill, dude. You turned prickly. I'm chill as well. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns.

I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns.

I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns. I have two guns.. It's rude. I did have to say it out loud otherwise people will say, well, who is he? Why is it Scott telling us anything about him? Maybe you're not going to host the show. Maybe not. Look, you think you are? Guys, look, I mean, I could do worse. Let's try.

Let's see. Okay. He's dying. I'm not dying. Guys, what do I do? This happens around the holidays. There's a lot of tension. I feel like by the end of this episode, we should all just be in a better place. There's a lot of tension. I feel like by the end of this episode,

we should all just be in a better place. There is a lot of tension during the whole day. That's just calm down. You're right. Okay, we're fighting with our family. Just let me host for a little bit. Okay, well let me run those. Okay, all right, okay, here we go.

We're gonna start fresh with, like we're bringing it in Francesca. Okay, okay, okay. Good. Well, Francesca, try not to be such a bitch when you're a bitch. Do you get it, Scott? No, Scott, you know the earlier, this is right.

If you're hosting, the guy who's not hosting is supposed to be undercutting and ruining it as much as possible. At least the last couple of times I've come here, I've picked up on the pattern. So let's see what you got. And that's news to be. All right, let's host, bitch.

You should listen back to me sometime. You're fucking stupid assholes. Why is this so fucking freezing in here? You kind of already? Wait, I haven't introduced you. Okay, sorry. Welcome back to podcast. And we got another great guest

in addition to the two great guests we already have. And this lady, she comes all the way from another country and she's very interesting. And I'd like to hear all about her because I love to hear about people Wow, please welcome Francesca Bolanesa. Hi, oh my god. That's so nice to be here with a beautiful intro Absolutely Francesca. How are you today? How are you doing? He must so good I uh, I am saving Bellbetha beyond all by myself. Bellbetha be odd. that's a company, right? Yes, it's a company. What do you mean? You can buy towels, you can buy dishwasher, you can buy other towels.

What's the craziest thing that's ever happened to you, Bebathabiyah? I have never been into Bebathabiyah. I have never been before. Begging me, where are the divedos? I don't know who we don't sell that here. Please, please tell me where the divedos are. I say, I don't know. Do you have any pieces of shit that I can eat?

Shut the fuck up. There's a good interview. I said, you can go to the bathroom. Please, I'm so hungry. I need this shit to eat. Wow, is he the worst customer you've ever had? No, yes. He is one of the worst people. I think I'm playing it art, but I love him.

And he is dying. Wow. And he's helping, please, pray for him. You're kind of the hero. I am the hero. I really am the hero. I am the hero. I really am the hero. He is a basketball legend, and he is currently one of the co-hosts

of a TNT half-time show. Inside the NBA. Inside the NBA, please welcome to the show, Charles Barkley. Scott, what the hell you got me in? Why does it smell like dog in here? Well, sorry, this is McGruff, the crime dog. Every time I'm around white people, smells like dog. Sorry, I have a dog.

What is this? McGruff is a cartoon dog though, so you should smell more like an animation cell. Yeah, that's right. Like a paper and fucking ink. Marking pens. Also, it's got to give everybody a little bag of shit to win me giddy hair.

I was wondering, and when I was coming in the postmates guy was with me, I said, why was there food that you're carrying smell like shit? Who's ordering these? I got an order for Scott. I said, I don't know no Scott. Hey, got that with your name. Yeah, it'd be nice to Scott. He is dying. We've never done you dying.

I'm not dying. Damn, I wanted to kill you. Have we ever met before Charles? I don't think we have that we Scott. We met one time in Phoenix in 1994 And we went out to Ruth's Ruth's Chris steakhouse I don't remember this 1994 you got the lobster and I got a well done porterhouse I think I would remember and we shared it we both we we split what's it called when you bite both ends?

What's the movie lady in the trailer? He just talked about it earlier. He did that to lady. I did you did that to lady I don't want to get into the details, but I put the spedic spaghetti in every China and I ate to it There was already details. Oh, sorry. I've done that many times in my life It's a it's a invigorating experience Scott what the hell is this and figure out an experience. Scott, what the hell is this? It's a, I don't even know how to describe it.

It's a podcast, which is like radio, but for more tech savvy area. I sound stupid even. Scott, you sound stupid. Don't say that. Charles, the NBA season is underway. What's going on right now? How you feeling about the season?

I can't stand it. I can't stand it. I hate it. You hate basketball? They ain't nobody good enough anymore. Ain't nobody good enough and all these people run around saying stuff about the Jews. And I don't know what's going on. I mean, that's really only one player. That's really one player. Everybody in the league is always talking about the Jews. Okay, man, this is news because I, we've only heard about the one guy. And I can't believe it. Idiots.

Scott, what the hell is this? It's a vodka. I'm sorry. It's like the show you do. Scott liked to have people on that hate him and we scream at him and then somehow he feels satisfied at the end. Scott, that's some horny shit right there. That's a kink.

Scott's kink is having people insult him. It's a very kinky stuff for him. The only way he get off. The only way he gets off. Scott takes out that mangled dick. I think Charles, we've just met. You're gonna fit in just great, Charles. Charles, isn't the All Star game on Christmas or something? No. Well then I don't know what to add. I do. Close.

Doesn't know anything about the basketball. I know about basketball though. Yes. You tell me what it means when somebody do a front slide back switch. Oh, I'll tell you exactly what that means. It's like somebody's been living with a basketball lover. A frontside black... A frontside black switch.

Yeah, that's about that too. A frontside black switch. It's a frontside black switch and a front side black swish It's a front side black swish and a front side back switch Frontside back switch something It's a travel and a front side black switch is the electric slide on the Dog you went to you had you've done an electric slide dog And you got on this long overcoat. I do the Chacha slide, electric slide. I do all the slides. Look at your ears.

Your ears are so floppy. They flopped around. Unless something happens, or I need to hear it, and they go, look, they come right on up. Who let this dog be a police? I don't know. How do you feel about the police, Charles? Me?

Yeah. I love the police. I'm back to blue. No, no. How do you feel about the canine unit? It's weird, right? It's weird. Given dogs badges. You know. No. How do you feel about the canine unit? It's weird, right? It's weird.

Given dogs, badges. Yeah, you know what? I respect all police. I'm back to blue and I'm back to wolf. Good to know. Good to know. Number nine. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. After that, of course, after that clip, we hear from Harry Styles, Dickie Donnelly, Dr. Sweetchat Gillis, Dr. Sweetchat, so many great parts of episode number nine. What people don't realize about those big holiday shows and the anniversary shows is that afterwards we all sleep together on the floor. Yeah. And not in sleeping bags. No, we just, we just, where we just where we are Get out of the floor immediately immediately the minute we say goodbye everyone. Yeah everyone's just silently and wordlessly

Yeah, yeah, it gets on the floor and immediately passes and I want to tell you it's the best sleep I ever get all year It's so good. I wish I could do it a holiday episode every day. I know I can get sleep like that. Oh my god It's so I don't know why it's so good. It's so good. Yeah. Um, that's gonna be it for this part two of our best of spall. I hope you learned something, folks. Mm-hmm. About yourself or about us or about math, I guess.

Yeah. Science? Sure. The arts, why is the sun yellow? Sure. Why is it yellow? No one ever asks. That's it. We've never figured it out shirt. Why is it you know whenever asks that's it? We've never figured it out either why was going blue you don't Give it you're not fucking is the sun is yellow. Yeah, why is a tree green?

Look at it because it is green goes with brown. Yeah, stupid stupid people anyway go learn some fucking manners. How about that? Anyway, go learn some fucking manners. How about that? Oh. How about that next time? By the time you come back on Monday to listen to part three, how about you have learned some fucking manners? Yeah, why don't you take a good, long look in the mirror and say I hate myself?

Because that's what I do. And look where I am. You gotta get your mirror time cut down, by the way. You're looking in the mirror far too long, I think. I'm taking a good long hard look. Take a short look. Short hard look? Short look?

Ah! Just, ah! I'm looking! All right, that's gonna do it for us. We'll see you back on Monday for part three of the comedy bang bang best of 223. If we are back, we will be Monday. We'll see you then.

Thanks, bye! Bye! Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to the controls. Oh no, I'm falling. Of course. And my phone is still plucking. All right, so of course we have to play the snowman game. Are you resetting it? To where?

Should I just, I think you should do it from where it was. It was slightly counterclockwise. Yes, okay. Okay, because he's looking right at you. All right, we're gonna do the snowman game again. If you heard our first episode, we're playing the snowman game, whomever it looks at, it looked at me the first time.

Yeah. And so I'm gonna have a great 2024. If it looks at Paul, he'll have a great 2024. If it looks at the listener chair, all of the listeners will have a great 2024. What happens if it looks at me again? Does it cancel out my 2024? Do I have a best?

No, I think it rolls over into the next year? Oh, fuck yeah. Okay, here we go. All right, so it sings a song and it spins around while it sings the song and Paul, here we go. Let's play the snowman game. Part two. Comedy back there. five minutes, five minutes, so the rice ball says we made this place. No, it's not me. Yeah, you want to move to where? Okay, looking at the listener, that happened last time. Was he going to look this time? Looking at one more spin, one more spin. Here we go. Oh! I mean, it's really close.

It's kind of over my left shoulder. Would you say it's me though, because I'm the only one over here. I mean, it's two. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's, I don't know. Yeah, come over here where I am and give me your official ruling on this. No, no, no. You think no. It's too over my shoulder.

Too far over. Too far over. Okay, the refs. Here, let me kick dirt on you. Hey, you can do that as long as you don't say anything personal. If you say something personal, then you will be ejected. Your mother sucks cocks. Yeah!

Alright, well, we got to hand the episode anyway. We'll see you next time. Bye. YOOOOO! Alright, well, we got in the episode anyway. We'll see you next time, bye!