Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Best of 2023 Part 3

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

Happy New Year from Comedy Bang! Bang! Celebrate with Scott and Paul F. Tompkins as they continue their countdown with numbers eight through five of the Best CBB episodes of 2023 as voted by YOU listeners. Tune in Thursday for Part 4!

Music Hello, welcome back. This is Scott Ackerman. By the way, this is a terrible catchphrase. We don't do catchphrases on the best of's though. So, uh, so what was the terrible catchphrase? Hello, welcome back. Yes, I know. It's not great. Not good. No, no. We know. I would like to wish everyone. Very happy new year. That's right, it is New Year's Day. It's the most miserable day of the year. Happy New Year! be forgot and never brought to mind.

That's right. You guys were all out celebrating. Some of you, I think if you were ad free on the west coast, you probably got this a little bit before the new year. So if you're ad free, the west coast is probably got this literally. Hey, why not? So I hope you enjoyed you. 2022, listen to us. 2022. Oh, no, what year is it? Oh boy. It's 2024 now.

2024. It's the future. It is the future. Oh my god. Did you ever think we were going to make it to 2024? Honestly, I thought that when I was a kid, the year 2000 seemed so far away, but I was just like, I'll be an old man in the year 2000. Now I'm like, am I going to make 3000?

That's insane. You're not. You don't think, you know, people do live longer. And it's possible that we could live to be a thousand. Sure. We can be the first generation that lives to be a thousand. That's the thing is, is like, you know, you hear about, you know, uh, Norman Lear. Here's a guy. He lives to be a hundred.

Yeah, it's like, why stop there? Yeah, you know? Why did he do that? Let's, like, keep going, bro. Let's roll it over to 200. Yeah, that's what I would do. You know what I mean? Like I'd say let it ride.

Yeah. If you make it to 100, you might as well go to two. You know, at that point, just go to two. And then at that point, a 200, your pot committed, go to four. I would, okay, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say four. I don't know if I go that far. Really, how far do you think you'd go? I'd probably like seal it at two.

You'd cap it at two? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think if you're already at two, go to four. Cause at that point, you've lived 200 years right and you're like, oh, I've seen this, I've seen that. I've seen the next thing. Yeah. But what have I seen?

Anything that's in the future. So I just stick around for another two. I know, I just feel like it's so, it could be so boring. I mean, if you don't like it and you're committed to going to four, and you get to 250, you're like, oh,

I'm gonna ask another 150. I should have kept it at two. I think you got to double it though. If you do get to four, you got to go to eight. What do you think you'd look like at 200 years old? Well, this is my, this is my theory. So, here's what happens to the human body as you age. It gets gross.

It's purely just grossness. But no, your skin starts to sag a bit, so that's one thing. No, a bit. But your nose and your ears keep growing. Yeah. So the rest of your face doesn't keep growing, but the- So the rest of your face don't keep growing.

But your nose and your ears do. So like, you know, they talk about in Bible times, like, you know, who's really old, Methuselah or whoever? Methuselah. Like, he must have the longest fucking nose and the just droopiest earlobes of all time because those just keep going and going and going And meanwhile the rest your face isn't growing and growing and growing it's sagging and sagging and sagging So no balance is that kind of I guess so I would get gauges for sure

How do you mean ear gauges ear gauges? Oh, I see okay? Yeah, yeah, I don't even gauge just to see how old you were. Oh, I'd definitely buy one of those Check it every day every day Are the gauges the the the the hoops the discs the discs. Yeah, that you're getting your ears. That's the thing Only kids get them at this point and then they always kind of regret it At when they hit 30 or 35 right. It should be all people who get them. They have the droopiest earlobe. There's the droopiest earlobe. What a beautiful canvas with which to work.

Yes. My darling, you're wasting your wasting those earlobes. What, where are we? Oh, this is true by way, that your nose and your ears continue to grow? I believe so, yeah. So that's the whole contours of your face sort of changes as you get older. And just like, born, born, born. I'm imitating, of course, the sound of your nose

and your ears. That's sped up, obviously. Yeah, the sound, the real time, you would barely hear it. No, no, you hear, no, it's that loud every day. It kind of just goes Yeah, that's the noise you're hearing. Yeah every day every day you just in the morning you hear in the evening We got do

Sergeant bad but do I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry.

Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry.

Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm so. Yeah, never met him. Yeah, I wouldn't want it to nope

Seemed angry a lot. Yeah, you know, and and for what reason he had everything Academy award. He had so much anger that he started to get mad at other people for Complaining about their own lives. Yeah, yeah, we're that lettery road about George Michael. Yeah Maybe George Michael was not doing so well. Yeah, also Frank's not your who you to talk about somebody complaining about being famous when you punch photographers every other fucking day. Just enjoy it, baby. What are you complaining about? What are you doing taking my picture? Boom, boom, boom.

And of course he asked him where's the chick and then George Michael had to say. That's right. We will never know what song that is about. What are we doing today? This is the best of Comedy Bang Bang 2023. Part three. Yeah, it really is. And it is a happy new year, happy 2024 to you.

Traditionally, of course, in the end months, we count down our favorite things of the previous year. This year's best ups are happening in the first week of January, which is fun. January 1st and January 4th. So that's a lot of the previous year. This year's best ups are happening in the first week of January, which is fun. January first and January fourth. So that's a lot of fun this year. That is a lot of fun. Isn't it first and fourth?

Sure. What was that football sitcom that was on like cable? First and 10? Probably first and 10. Yeah, that's more of a kind of traditional, I was gonna say line that they say in football. Oh, excuse me, line. More in traditional dialogue, football dialogue.

Excuse me, line? First and 10. Oh, thank you. I would say they hardly ever say first and four. Did you ever watch first and 10? Did anybody? No, who's in it? Don't know.

Let's look it up. I think that was back in the days of cable where it was not famous people were not on cable. I'll tell you who was in it. Yeah. Delta, Burke. What's that T-Core show you are? It was on from 1991.

90, sorry, 1984 to 1991. Wow, good long run. Yeah. Holy shit, congrats first and 10. So six seasons and a movie? What, the first and 10 movie came out this year. It was on HBO. Oh, it was on HBO.

I thought it was like showtime or something. No, this was on when HBO wasn't like, hey, we put on expensive classy shit. They were like, we put on the stupidest, cheapest shit in the world, but it has boots. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because that back then you couldn't see boobs anywhere. Nowadays, they're all over the place.

All over the place. Now they're, they're all in Washington. I'll tell you how. You. You. You. You. You. You.

You. You. I completely missed that story about the guy who was at a congressman having sex in the, no, it was a congressman's aid, I believe. Okay. Uh, had, had sex in like one of the rooms that everyone votes in or something like that. Let me honestly. Let him.

Who cares? Who cares? People are gonna get, look, people have had sex everywhere in the world. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I don't think there's a square inch on earth that someone hasn't boned on. People have had sex in coffins. Yeah.

And so it's like what? Oh, suddenly we can't have sex where someone votes on a law. No. We can't look, we can't just have sex in bedrooms, everyone. People in the White House. Yeah. Why can't they have sex in Congress? It's called sexual Congress. Booyah. But this by the way, we got to get an hour together, an hour special. If we do, we're just straight off. Straight off sense. I mean, it's not that much different from what Randy and Jay do.

Yeah. Come on. Exactly. I'm going to need you to provide the majority of the punchline's fault. Is that all right? I mean, I think I'm doing that right now. Oh, no. This is part of it.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And of course, we fill myself doing crowd work at the top. Yes, that'll be the first 50 minutes of the special. Ha, ha, ha. We're counting down the best of 2023 of Comedy Bang Bang. And I'm imagining a world where this is your first episode of Comedy Bang Bang ever. You got a new iPhone for Christmas and you haven't turned it on until now or something

and you're just like, what is a podcast and you're looking it up and you see Comedy Bang Bang? And twisted mind you have. Who would imagine what to think? I look, that's just kind of what I imagine in this little weird brain of mine. Okay, so Danny DeVito had a twisted mind for a robot. Twisted mind of Danny DeVito, yeah. And, so Danny Davido had a twisted mind for a mind of Danny Davido. Yeah, and then I saw somebody else as a twisted mind. Who's that? There's a new movie and I had to look up who this person was. This guy's got a twisted mind. I can't remember who it is. Is it the guy who did poor things? Yorgo or no, what's his name?

No, it's not it's not poor. Yorgo. You know what I'm I know you're talking about it's not I don't think it's him. It's a Yorgos Lathimos from the twisted mind of Yorga. It is him. No, I'm just saying that's the guy's name. Here, let me let me put in quotes. Yes, from the twisted mind of from the twisted mind, Matthew Vaughan. Yes, that was yes. And I was like, was he on fucking You Vaughan? Yes, that was it. Yes.

And I was like, was he on fucking alias? Was he in suits? No, he's directed Kingsman. Kingsman! And kickass. And the Kingsman. And layer cake. And layer cake.

Actually, that movie kind of looks good for me. What is it, the new one? It's the Doolipa John Cena movie where the writer... Are there any actors in it? I know. No, the writer of these spy books gets kidnapped because she's writing such good spy novels that all of everything that happens in them

happens in the real life. You know, that old. It's too twisted for my taste. I don't know if I can see something in the twisted. Yeah, it in the real life. You know, that old. That's twisted. It's too twisted for my taste. Oh, I don't know if I can see something in the twisted. Yeah, it's so very twisted. Yeah, who's gonna be next on the twisted mind of? Ooh, drag the Uber. He doesn't allow chairs on set.

Ha ha ha ha. Or Adam Driver, he doesn't allow phones on set. Oh, twisted. Ha ha ha. Now does Adam Driver allow phones on the set? He just doesn't like it when people use that. He just doesn't like it. Okay.

He says he hates it. But then he said, and he also lets people know it. You're away from your, you left your family and your kids. I only did this. To come do this. I drugged a glendale. Yeah, but also let's say you did leave your family and kids.

Maybe that's how you keep a touch with them? Yeah. Maybe you're texting. Hey, who's this asshole I'm working with? But it is like, does he mean, what's something like that? And with the chairs thing too, I'm like, who does that apply to?

Does that apply to absolutely everyone? Or does that apply to only, is he only talking about his fellow actors? You know what I mean? Yeah, because I saw a lot of, if you don't know what we're talking about, there's an interview clip or Adam Driver's complaining about how.

And if you don't know what we're talking about, I feel sorry for you. And God bless you. He's talking about how he doesn't like phones on a set and he doesn't like people like checking their phones on a set in between takes. I assume he means in between takes, not during takes. Both of that would be both.

What if I be with him on that? Let's give him the benefit. You check your phone during a take. I'm gonna give him the benefit of it out. I assume he meant during a take. I heard of about somebody doing that during, an actor who would do that during coverage. When they were off camera and doing the lines

for someone's close up, they would be on their phone and doing the lines. Which is, that almost feels disrespectful to me. It does, but you know what? I, if I were to ever get another acting job, I kind of think, why not just do it during the actual scene? Everyone's checking their phones all the time anyway. Would it be so weird to have your character just constantly checking their phone? Just bake that right in. If we were to make this real life, yeah, two people out to dinner,

at some point they're looking at their phones. Yeah, it's just and then Adam driver can't complain about it. No, oh my God. If I ever you should make a movie and put him in it. You we should be on the phone. The old make him like give him an offer of like okay, $30 million to start in this movie. Scott and it's all about people who are constantly on their phones. Scott, we're the twisted minds. Oh, shit.

What we're we're we've inherited the twisted minds. We are we have just concocted is so twisted No one's ever gonna have the title again. Yeah twisted mind. Yeah, well they'll hang it from the rafters when we die To twist He's exactly. He's just had me put to death. He's seen that Adam Driver movie they made. We had to. He's checking his phone in a scene.

Get the firing squad. One bullet. Thank you, Bigger. What are we doing? We're doing the top episodes of Comedy Bang Bang. If you just got your phone and you were hearing this for the first time, comedy bang bang is a comedy podcast where... Oh my gosh, where I am the host of it. And we have comedians, comedians like Paul

of Tompkins here, playing fake characters on it. And it's all improv improvisation. And none of it is planned out. And we just all have a lot of fun while we're doing it and we're counting down. This year we're counting down the top 16 episodes of the year. We have already counted down 16 through 9 on our previous two episodes. If you miss those, you better go back and listen. So you have context for the remaining eight episodes. Yes. Today we're going to be counting down eight through five. So that's very exciting. And then Thursday we'll be doing the top four.

Well, that's very exciting. So we're going to, if we come back, we're going to be cracking the top five this episode. If we come back, we're cracking the top five, yeah. Yeah, so this is exciting. So Paul, do you want to get to it? What do you say? I do, Scott.

I say, let's get to it. Let's get to it. Let's, look, you voted. Let to get to it? What do you say? I do, Scott. I say let's get to it. Let's get to it. Let's look. You voted. Let's get to it. This is your episode number eight. Number eight. Episode number eight. Now, Paul, I'm going to give you a number and check your reaction. Okay. This is episode 816. 816? 816. Yep. Is that an airy-co? Probably. I think everything is an airy-co. 816 816. Yep. Is that an area code? Probably I think everything is an area.

816 till I die. Let me look up 816 area code because they're going crazy right now. The people listening in the 816 they're out of their mind. They're like Kansas City. Kansas City. Kansas City. Don't forget the Kansas City. What's I'm just doing the David Bowie That sucked. First of all, I don't like, I've never liked that song. I'm not done. That's pretty good. I've never liked that.

That's good. Yeah. They should grasp that. They should'm never like done done. Yeah. Dun dun dun dun dun. They should they should grasp that. They should graft that onto another song. Yeah. Just, you know, the way that they take any hook and just put it on another song, like put it on Wap Part 2 or something like that. Yeah. Like wetter ass pussies. What a wet ass pusier. Yes. Okay. They're even more pussy than the previous pussy. Same level of witness. I once I believe on a on a thanksgiving macy's day parade or something I saw Jimmy Fallon sing that song.

And this sounds familiar. He shows to sing it, imitating them and singing off lines. So he would he would he was doing it like Mick Jagger for the majority of it, but then he would go, So he would, he would, he was doing it like Mick Jagger for the majority of it, but then he would go, he would like then do very odd, very odd choice. Like Jimmy fell and singing, dancing in the streets, and then he's imitating them doing. Do you think that's the only version you'd ever heard? I think so, and I think that's the only way he could learn it, and why do more than five minutes of rehearsal? I forgot that he used to do, or I probably still does impressions. Yeah, I think he still does it on issue. Yeah, that's what people should have been mad about

Everything we've talked about instead of all the other stuff. Hey Kansas City Congrats, congrats eight one six, baby. This is your first comedy bang bang mentioned. Yeah We'll never talk about you again, but hope you enjoyed it We'll never talk about you again, but hope you enjoyed it. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

This is episode eight, one, six, and this is an episode called Love Bridge. Oh, sure. Love Bridge. And now there, here's a hint as to what it is. There's a comma in between the two words. So it's not Love Bridge, although I really enjoy going to one of those once.

I'd like to go to a Love Bridge. I assume you have sex on a bridge. Although I really enjoy going to one of those once. I'd like to go to a love bridge. I assume you have sex on a bridge. I do more than a suit. You'd have sex. I know for a fact you do because I book it really. Okay. Yes. I, this is an episode called Love Bridge.

And let me tell you a little bit about it. It's the celebrity. Now, if you haven't heard Comedy Bang Bang before, we usually have a celebrity as the first guest and they're themselves, and we talk to them about their current projects. And then we have a comedian's playing characters after that. The celebrity in question this time is our good friend,

Jack Quaid. Jack Quaid. Jack Quaid, whom people would know from Amazon's The Boys. He plays Huey or Stewie or one of those Ui's Huey-Dieuie-Lui, one of them. Screwy. Screwy, of course. You would also know him from Star Trek lower desks or lower decks where he plays Boimler. that's right. Ensign Boimler, or maybe he got a promotion this season, I can't recall. Maybe got a promotion to Ensign. I think I've got a premonition

and then he was gonna get a promotion. Yeah, I'm not sure. But Jack is a very nice fellow. Yes, he is. One of show business is best. He's Hollywood's good boy, as we say. Wow, okay. I didn't know that title. Yeah, one of Hollywood's best. Well's Hollywood's good boy. As we say, wow, okay. I didn't know that title. Yeah, one of Hollywood's best. Well, Hollywood's good boy. Is he the first holder of that title? We've talked about that on one of his previous appearances. He's Hollywood's good boy.

Meaning that he's not dangerous. He's and he's nice to everyone he works with. He's Hollywood's good boy. Congrats on the title. Yeah, so our good friend Jack Quaid is here and we talked to him a little bit in this clip you're gonna hear and then Lily Sullivan comes on. We've heard her, can I just give a shout out to Lily Sullivan? I would say it's time.

Why not? She's good. Yeah, she's good. She's good. She's good to fair. Ha ha ha ha. I think that's, you're doing hard to serve. I am. I am.

You heard her doing Francesca Bolinese in our previous best of episode. Here she is doing Bridget Jones. And then we have the next clip is Carl Tarte. You heard him doing, who was it? Charles Berkeley on our previous episode. He is here to do the crypt keeper. And then we'll hear a little clip of Jack is one of the only celebrities who likes to come on

and is committed to also doing a character when he's on. He, you'll hear a clip of him as the ghost of Dr. John. So, I think his most enduring comedy band. It is. He's done him twice as opposed to the other ones he's only done once. Yes. So this is it. This is your choice for episode number eight.

Number eight. Number eight. We need to go to our next guest, Jack Quaid is with us. Uh, I am. She is an author. She's been on the show before. Uh, please welcome back to the show, Bridget Jones. What's up? Hey, I do a Hello. Hey, so good to meet you.

Great to meet you, big fan. Jack Quaid. Yeah. Bridget Jones. Well, but mad famous. Yeah. Oh, man. I don't know if I'm as famous as you. You're pretty damn famous. I'm pretty famous. Yeah. I'm like, mad, well-known. So yeah, yeah, you're not well known. You're known for your, you're a diarist, you're, yeah, you have famous, are you famous or your diaries famous? I'm not quite sure. Yeah, I was.

Because the movie title is Bridget Jones, I'm like, ooh, I'm gonna get to, and then it's Bridget Jones's diary. I'm like, well, I'm gonna watch a movie about a book. Yeah, you are. And she's like, that's good. The camera's just like focused on a book that doesn't move for two hours.

It's like, what's going on? Okay. Yeah. Well, actually, my story is pretty apps to the Hollywood or the stuff happening in Hollywood right now. Oh, yeah. How so? Well, basically, they took me diary, this Hollywood execs, and they made the movie with Wizzel Wiggus Renee and Hogg Grunk and Colin Fart. And they made mad

monies and they left me with fucking nothing. So now, 20 something years later, I'm trying to get me new diary into, into be made into a movie. Perfectly encapsulates your previous appearances. Yeah, okay. Good. In your previous appearances, you have read some of the diary, are you here to do that again? Yeah, I'm trying to get the word out.

You know, I'm here in LA temporarily, going to the right astride, hanging out, making connections. That's cool. It seems like everyone's doing it. It seems like a lot of the actors and people going to these strikes is very performative. I've met mad people. They know Bob Odin Kirk is going to be out there. I saw him. Yeah. Who else should I see? I saw Lauren Nap case. I love Vic. I love Susie Bennett.

You're just looking at names on the table right now. I love Casey Faye. I love Betsy Siddharle. I love some mad people there, making mad friends. Oh man. Do you ever read what you've just written? Or do you avoid that? No, I don't even know.

I brought entries today. I haven't even read them since I, you know. It just flows out. Do we want to get to these tie here? Oh my to get to these tires? Let's pull them up. Let me open me. Oh, these pages. Oh, so many. Okay, that's me. It was a typical English morning woke up to the sounds of rats screaming. Got myself a new job at the local swimming holy. Warmed myself a tiny Keeney and showed off my cleavey baby. When all of a sudden a kid be choking on

war war like a little fucking bitch. He was dying on me just like princess Diana. Then it made clearly this kid was obsessed with me just like Princess Diana. Then, eh eh me. Clearly this kid was obsessed with me and wanted to plug me poopy puggy. But then again, who wouldn't love bitch. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's, so you saved someone's life because we never got to that part of it. You just were observing the person, made some, something's about them. Yes, well, somebody else was there giving him

him, Himlick or whatever, saving his life and all that. But in the meantime, I'm like, wow, he's really trying to get me attention. Do you have a second entry that you can know? Yeah, you want me to keep going. Yeah, I'd love for you to keep going. Wow. I'd like approximately one more until we take a break. I love being positive with you. Yeah, I love it. Did I, it's me. COVID positive. It was a difficult English morning. Welcome to the sounds of pig's fucking. Got me some for new job at the local pub. Wiping up spilling drinkies with me from upbeat titties. We're not all of a sudden. I'm gonna be having a heart attack like a little fucking asshole.

He was dying on me, just like the queen dead when she died. Then, eh, eh, me. Clearly, this man was obsessed with me and wanted to pee-key me blinders and dunk me chunky, dunk. Then again, he wouldn't love it. Very, very similar. I mean, I'm like me chunky donkeys. Then again, I wouldn't love it. Very, very similar. I mean, I'm structured. What do you mean similar stuff?

It's almost like a plug in the gaps kind of. I have a question. What does it mean? It hit me. Oh, okay. It's the dialect. You're from... From the thing, right?

Oh, right, yes. Oh, yeah. You have more entries in your diary. I had to take a break, but I promise that we were gonna read some more. Did you really want to? I really did. Yeah, well, I definitely want to read it.

Yeah, one more. I could give you one more right now. All right. Okay. It's me, Bridget Jones. one more I could give you one more right now. All right. Okay. Teada. It's me, Bridget Jones from Bridget Jones' Zaire. It was a typical English morning woke up to the sounds of orphans dying.

Ha ha ha! Got me some new job at Buckingham Palace waking up King Chorros for brecky, dry toast and a side of stinky dick. When all of a sudden, Chuck began to choke on his stinky dick like a little fucking idiot, he was dying on me just like JK Rowling should have died after she wrote Harry Potter. Clearly this man was obsessed with me and wanted to whip me creepy binkies then again wouldn't have fit.

I sometimes when I listen to these bridge I worry that you're instead of diaries you're buying madlibs and you the same book of madlibs and you just feel like honestly I'd buy that book of madlib. Did the entries sound the same? Structurally. They follow some look. Yeah. Do they? Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, then again, TV shows do, if you ever watch Family Matters, which I don't know if I have. I was thinking about Family Matters every single time that I heard those. Yeah. These are the Family Matters of Diaries.

Same tone. Same exact tone. You know how that cop from die hard. He was the dad on that, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he would always whip out his flippy disc. Oh, yeah. He's donkey. Donkey. Donkey. Donkey. Donkey. He's a classic catchphrist. We need to get to our next guest. Oh man. He is a TV host. We've all seen him on our TV screens over the years. What else needs to be said about him? It's his first time on the show. This is exciting.

We've had Conan O'Brien who's a TV host on the show before. He's a host, he's a TV show, but this is one of the best. Please welcome the Cryptkeeper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hello boys and dudes. Please welcome the Cryptkeeper. Hi! Hi! Hello boys and dudes. Hi Cryptkeeper.

Hi! Scared Alchemist. Ooh! Bridget Bones. Sue! Hex-laid. I love it. I love it.

I love it. You got two of them. I got two. Both of mine. Wow incredible. Cryptkeeper it's I'm a big big fan. You are of course the host of tails from the greed. Tales from the credit. And who better to tell us these tails than the actual cryptkeeper itself. I'm a huge huge fan, Cryptkeeper. You hosted that show for so many years. Keeper you hosted that show for so many years. Hi.

You also just give information in that voice, which I love. Yes. Now, do you know how you came back from the dead? Yeah. You also sound like Jack K from two to seven. Mary. from two to seven. Mary. Laughter.

Laughter. Jackay from two to heaven. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Where did people go? Yeah. It's kind of creepy. Is heaven spooky?

I guess. I mean, it is. It's filled with dead people. So yeah, it's probably. I bet it's spooky as hell. Yeah. Is it spooky up there? Yes, it is. Did you go to have it?

Did you go to hell? But they kicked me out. Oh no, why? Because I asked to be released for my audition. Oh yeah, so it's like, constantly asking your manager the way to go up to. And that booked the part. Woo!

Is that a Bible book? What was that? Yeah, what was that one? I've been following every single one somehow and that one was, I think the book, the good book is the bible. The book is the bible. I'm a little dissad. Those aren't good puns when it's the listener acid disaster.

Props me. I don't know how to prompt you. Okay, you're on a boat and there's a title wave coming for the boat. Go. Ooh, a title wave. Why did you say prompt me when you can't do it? It was nothing. You're in your quick finish. You're in your quick finish. You did that mean finish. Okay. You did that mean finish. We should let you fit. Okay.

Ooh. Added new. Ooh, a tie the wave. Looks like this boat will be capsized. I see. That's exactly what that's not a pun. Okay. Okay.

You didn't let me finish. Okay, sorry, sorry. Please start over from the beginning now. And please say you're finished when you're finished. It's like saying over on a walkie-talk. Yeah, thank you. Ooh. Right at the beginning.

It's like you heard them sound. Ooh. It's eye-to-way. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's finished. What side note have you ever seen Poseidon adventures? Is this the animated spin off of Poseidon the Poseidon adventure?

Yeah, it's like the Gremlins, the Mount Glow, Legend of the Mock heart. Yes, you're a cartoon boy. I'm a cartoon boy. Cartoon boy. Are you done? Are you? Because I haven't heard his pun yet. I love you.

You repeat it again. You have to start it from the beginning. We can interrupt you. I'm sorry. Yeah, I love you repeat it again Side away looks like we'll be capsizing There's got to be a morning after Poseidon more like putdiedon. Okay. There we go. Yeah.

You got that. That was my good writing. He's gone. Oh, sorry. I did. Oh, you did. Okay. Would you ever consider reading one of her diary entries with your amazing voice?

Absolutely. I mean, I think I'd love to not to take anything away from your diary entries. I can even pun it up. Okay, so if you see an opportunity for a pun. So the way that I write is like mad lives, yeah. Yeah, let's see. Dear, die, a reed. Oh, that's right.

Start not pie. I love it. It's me, Bridget Bow. Ooh, great. Yeah. It was a typical English morning. Morning because people are dead. With you with the year. Yeah. Yeah. Woke up to the sound of rat screaming. Nothing changed. Yeah. Finances. Stead. Got myself a new job at the local swimming only holy holy holy

Holy holy but let's wait for you to play with religion like yeah, I mean I realized that religious imagery is right going with like exorcism when I hear I need that for just warm yourself a tiny key to show off my cleavie baby Nothing Jason Yeah, I get it when all of a sudden a kid be choking on Wawa like a little fucking bitch Now you're just reading you see okay, he was dying Okay, you just Infosizing words that already exist.

Here's my issue, Cryptkeeper. You start so hot with two out of the gate, and then... Just like, just die, Adam. Yeah, that's the time you got. Yeah, I'm the Terrick. But I literally gave it to you.

Yeah. Hit me. You're too reading. Just general violence. It is no pun with it. He points you in at himself to himself like hit me. Clearly the kid was obsessed with me and wanted to plug my poopy puggy. You're just reading the things.

Just put it again. Yeah. What did? Okay. Then you emphasized a word that didn't even have any kind of connotation. Like what? Why do you want to hit somebody with a two-butt? If you were to hit, how many people have hit someone with a two-butt for? No, that's a good pun. I give it up for that one.

So it's gone from spookiness to just kind of general violence. What? It's still spooky. Yeah, okay. I guess it's spooky. There we go. Yeah, I can't. That is spooky. Woo! spooky yeah okay I guess it's spooky we have a guest I think that is germane to your interests uh crypt keeper because he's been on the show once before and he is the he is the the living embodiment or not living but he is the

spiritual embodiment of a very famous musician. Please welcome back to the show, The Ghost of Dr. John. Catch it down a new island. He has everybody going. That's right, your catchphrase. I'm not catchphrase. That's what we said down south of the Louvre's area. He has me, The Ghost of Dr. John.

How's everybody going today? Sky. Everyone's going great. How are you? I'm going well. This is Bridget John. I'm going? Everyone's going great. How are you? I'm going well. This is Bridget Jones. I'm going, my good. You're going good.

Yeah. Nice. I like your books. Thank you. Were you watching us like all ghost? Yeah. I just kind of hover above the space in a room and I just kind of like observe before, you know, I make myself corporeal.

Do you do that in every room or is that just? Is that like a fart? Yeah, like a fart. I'm like the world's fart. Yeah. So you're in every room simultaneous? I'm in every room simultaneous. They kind of like Santa Claus. Right.

And I do watch you masturbate. Great. Yeah. What I do. When I do it, I'm putting on a show for the ghost. Yeah. Yes. I'm like, I like this. I'm very on a show for the ghost. Yeah. Yeah Like this

You like this ghost you like this You like this dick ghosts. That's what we call it down south. We say I'm gonna go upstairs and put on the show for the ghost Ah So good of course, this is where we coins the immortal phrase, putting on a show for the ghosts. And later Carl comes on as Italianos Jones and O.J. Simpson and starts talking to himself as the crypt keeper. And the ghosts of Dr. John, just an insane episode.

It's insane. So much fun. Very fun. Everyone's just trying to have fun. And we all have fun on this. All right, and speaking of having fun, let's listen to commercials. What's more fun than that?

God, I love commercials. It's probably me saying them. I think of them as like little shows. Yeah, put on just for me. Yeah. That influence my taste. Yeah, because they're very first person. They're the second person.

They're very much talking to you. Exactly, yeah. Saying you want this. You do this. Yes. You failed at this. Now you can succeed. Exactly. Second person hardly any books are written in second person. I can only think of one bright lights big city. Yeah. Same. That's a great one. More books should be written in second person. More books should be written in second person. And about cocaine. Yeah, and about big tall buildings. Oh, I love them. And the 80s. I love it. Oh my gosh, the 80s, I love it.

Oh, when everyone was wearing their leg warmers and their hair was so sprayed and everyone, simply everyone liked money and greed was good. And then also you had to work from work. The main things the 80s were known for. We didn't talk about the guys, the 18. But, but, by the way, when I watch Jack Quaid on the boys, I assume it was an 18 reboot, and they just changed it to the boys and said, guys, to modernize it. Yeah, exactly, but it turned out it was about a bunch of other assholes. But yeah. But anyway, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going from the 80s, meaning number eight,

to the 70s, meaning number seven. That's right. We're going to come back. We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this. Welcome back. Thanks. Youumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumum Usually you say you're welcome after a thanks. Well, you didn't say you're welcome. Oh, that's right. What did I say? You said welcome back. Welcome. And I said thank you. But I mumbled your, you're welcome back. You were talking about mumbled your, my favorite genre of cinema?

My favorite gay Hogwarts instructor who learned how to transport shit from the floor. I'm glad we got two of them in. We chatter all. That's an insip, by the way, JK Rowling, that notorious turf. It's bad enough what she's got going on with that whole thing. Right. But the fact that she's got to talk about wizards

shitting on the floor all the time. Why? Why? Why make that up? You know what? Human beings, they would shit, they wouldn't just shit on the floor all the time. Yeah, why why make that up? You know what human beings they would shit They wouldn't just shit on the floor and then make it disappear with rags They would go find a place to do why would you shit like wizards would yes Well, I should talk about caveman times. Why would you shit on the floor?

By the way this sounds so insane to me and I just took it as fact. Did she actually say this at some point? No, I think she did. I feel like she did, but now I'm worried it's a very, very, very situation. I'm absolutely. Yeah, JK Rowling reveals that wizards just used to just shit on the floor like dogs. What the fuck? But that's the AV club headline. That's from four years ago, just an insane person. That's, I mean, before all of what everything that's going on with it now, we should have just been like JK.

Yes. Time to take a little break, hey. You should put everything should be in perspective with that story. It's like, oh, I see. She's mentally ill. Yes. Her brain is damaged. Yes.

It's not that much different than anyone who gets that amount of money from your Kanye's to your JKs. From Kanye to JK, money makes you crazy. Boy, but, but you know what? I wish you had just kept being crazy with stuff like that. It just kept popping up to tell like new parts of Harry Potter than what she's currently doing, you know, and just been like, by the way, the Wizards, you see, you're in a different each other's mouths. And then they would do a memory wipe spell. So they would all forget it.

Okay, JK, thank you. You're not bothering anyone. Go back to bed. You're not bothering anyone. Well, that's a scary thing to be said. If you find yourself in a situation where you're saying you're not bothering anyone, that's a scary situation.

Yep, no, you're not bothering anyone. You's a scary situation. Yep. No, you're not bothering anyone. You're not bothering anyone. You just connect it there. Oh my gosh. It's the comedy bang bang best of 2023. The chart is three. And let's get to it. This is your choice for episode number seven.

All right, episode number seven, this is 832. Episode eight number 832. Wow. From October 1st of this year. Wow. Of last year. No. Of this year, 2024?

20, oh yeah. Yeah, idiot. I fucking, you fucking walked right into it. You fucking tool. Okay, so you're one of these people who on January 1 Yeah, go ahead and you you give no quarter nope None as for none given only way on the fact that it just turned into 2024 and People like hanging out with you. Why do we bother having years? I don't know.

Whoa, wait, I don't know either. Why do we? I mean, we can all know it's not 2023 or what, you know, we all know it's not the previous year. Shit, I mean, just say whatever you want to guess. I never thought about it the way before. Oh no. Oh no, this is the only thing he enjoyed.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, come back. Anyway, it's 2023. My life's one joy. No, it is the only thing he enjoyed. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Come back. Anyway, it's 2023 my life's one joy. No, it's 2023 now I'm giving you a chance to be back in yeah, yeah, it's actually 2024. Oh I'm so stupid Oh, don't I'm dummy. I'm a big dummy. Hey, are you okay? Back to bed now You're not bothering anyone. You're not bothering anyone. October 1st of 2023. This is an episode called Cockroach Hell.

Yes. This is the start of spooky season and what better way to kick it off than with this insane episode. That's right. So who do we have? This is an episode that had no celebrity on it. This was during the strike and couldn't get it, even an author or a podcaster on the show. Real sat shit. So we just had an all character episode. Some people prefer him.

In this episode, previous to the clip, we're gonna hear Paul, you debuted a new character, Dolores Brainwater. Right, I forgot about that. Tell us about Dolores Brainwater. Let's see what I remember. She was a nice old lady. Sure. And she runs a dancing school.

She's a ballroom dancing instructor. Ballroom dancing instructor. She made a fortune dancing. She's a ballroom dancing instructor. Ballroom dancing instructor. She made a fortune dancing. Because she used to do, she used to have a partner. He died. He died. So then she did the dressing half of her body up as a woman. Right.

Half of her body up as a man. And somehow did a two person dance. Right. And was very successful at that. Uh, yes. And also you like mash I'm reading. I don't know. Or has been disappeared. Right. And she then she heard that he was on the set. I don't. That's all I can recall.

Okay. Then we also have this is the first appearance of Mietro Giohari. And was that her first time on the show? Uh, this is her first appearance of Mietro Johari. And was that her first time on the show? This is her first time in the counten. Right, right, right. It might have been her first time on, well, no, she was her cell phone show early on when she had a podcast.

She was Joel Kimbooth. Yes, so she was, she was a celebrity guest, maybe a hundred episodes back. But this year she started doing characters, and I think this might have been her first time. She was playing Casey from Ohio, but in the clip that we're gonna hear, this is I think the clip that everyone voted for.

We're gonna hear from Lisa Gilroy as Cockroach Rick. And let's say no more about it. Let's just listen to it. This is your choice for episode seven. Number seven. Okay, oh, well, we have one more guest. We have a concern citizen. Oh, yeah, we'll find out about what they are concerned. Let's welcome them to the show for the first time. Please welcome cockroach Rick. Wow, thanks. Yeah, we are Rick. Rick Rick the Roach man rocker. Yeah. The this Roach is a big cock and I'm gonna go and I love to

rock. This is a lot of information. I'm sorry. Yeah. Let's go back. You have a big cock. I heard that. The little Roach, the little Roach Scott. Let me your house guy try to kill me. Are you a rock? You wrote your cockroach? Oh you are a cockroach. Yes, but I'm wearing jeans A cockroach wearing jeans with a big cock and you love to rock a little rocker roll yet. Oh, okay My band oh you have a band So you're talking cockroach how did that come to be? Talk walk and walk and the talk of the talk. Oh, I see oh The biggest cock and I had a golden the biggest cock and hard to go. Love to rock.

Okay, hard to go. Love to rock. Lillys Cockroach was the biggest cockroach. Lillys Cockroach with the biggest jeans. Yeah, your jeans are too many sizes too big. The dinko jeans for Cockroach. Wow, thanks. Yeah.

Well, welcome to, how did you learn how to talk? You said you learned to talk the talk and walk the walk. Every Cockroach can talk in Cockro hell. Oh Are you from cockroach hell? Of course, but that's where all the cockroaches from you try to kill me Scott fuck you. Oh wait So cockroaches are not alive on earth? They're alive somewhere else then they go to hell Then they come back. Oh That show that Lauren Bobert got her tits fell to back

Yeah, that's the one Anthony King go road That show that Lauren Bobert got her tits felt up at. Yeah, that's the one. That Anthony King go road. Everybody gets a tits out for Beetle. I would hope that that would start a big trend at Beetlejuice performed the group. It was like, hey, let's get our tits out. You know what?

I think it should be in every performance. Yeah. I think you should see people getting their tits out, people getting the hang jobs. I think Beetlejuice should start showing his tits. Beetlejuice should be in every show. Beetlejuice should be in every I think Beetlejuice should start showing his tits. Beetlejuice should be in every show. Beetlejuice should be in every show of Beetlejuice. I agree.

I came from Beetlejuice's dick. Every fourth in July, Beetlejuice jizzes to come so big that 50,000 cockroaches run out. And that's how come we're running Cockroach Hell. And then we come off from a near bed and we're living in a house. Scott, you try to kill me. I don't want to try to kill one of my kids. You try to kill me. I don't want to try to kill what am I gonna do.

You try to kill me. All right, here we go. Hey, don't, don't. Wait, that's your defense, but you're saying don't? Don't. Ow. I didn't want to. Don't.

Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't. You squash my cock, Scott. That's how you have the biggest cock, too. Alert. Alert. How did that happen biggest, you have the biggest cocks. Oh, alert. Alert, how did that happen? It's not, do not disturb.

Do not disturb me, Scott. You try to kill me. I've been running around your house for 110 days, which is the average lifespan of a cockroach. Okay, okay, look. What are you doing here? I'm running for president. What's your platform? Well, up your skirt, up your tits.

Remember me, give me a kiss. Do. Cockroach man, let my band play at your wedding. Come on, Scott. Wait, so you want any president so that your band can play at everyone's wedding? Yeah, I only want to be president Vice President Prime Minister King of hell and Cockroach hell, but I need the humans to vote for me because Regis Philbin has been the king of hell for years. Oh

I don't want to you slurp him Wait, I think it's you sir Slurping Scott. What's he the king? Yeah, was he the king of hell would he die? Or the king of cockroach? Oh, yeah, we just feel like it is the king of cockroach hell Okay, I had a very happy well he came down our way So he was just like a random nobody in regular hell and then yeah, but you can be a big celebrity in It's easier to get famous there

Well, I don't know why I went to hell in the first place. That's between him and Christ. Oh Maybe you don't take Christ name when you die You go to hell and if you really don't say it you go to cockroach hell. Oh shit Okay, I gotta say Christ name if you don't say it, but you think it you go to hell But if you don't even think it you go to cockroach. What about if you're in like one of those car accidents where you're Decapitated by something like coming through your windshield final destination hell. Yeah, that's where you go. Oh Okay, so by something like coming through your windshield. Final destination, hell. Yeah. That's where you go. Oh, okay. Copperchelle isn't so bad. You can be little. You can run up skirts, tits.

You guys are talking tits. Cockroach is hell of tits. We were talking tits, yeah. Every cockroach has a chariot of booger tits and nipple hair. And nipple hair is a guitar in Cockroach hell. This doesn't sound half bad. It's not bad. You guys should come check it out.

Check out my band. Wait, your band only plays in Cockroach hell. We doesn't sound half bad, huh? It's not bad. You guys should come check it out, check out my band. Uh, wait, your band only plays in Cockroach Hill. We could play here if you want it. Are you getting married? No, I don't even think I'm renewing my vows. You try to kill me, Scott. I just, I just, I want it to live in your house. And I want it to live in your house.

You want my cock, Scott? It's Quashto already. Why would I want it? I'm the littlest roach with the biggest cock. I'm hard at going, I, why would I want it? I'm the littlest road to the biggest car, hard goal and the rock. I feel like the harder goal isn't coming into play as much. We're not hearing that side of you. Okay, let me try. Let me try.

These words are my own from the hard goal. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Is that hard of gold? That's not bad. I'm sold. I'll been to Hollywood. I've been

re-enjoyed. You could want searching for a hard of gold Cockroach Hill. So y'all do covers. No. Ritinals. We wrote all those songs. Oh, so Neil Young's hard of gold. You wrote? Yes. And he came for a brief stint Cockroach you can visit I believe it you can check out anytime you like me you could never leave I think it's the opposite you tried to kill me Scott. I look I'm sorry you asked me to is it because I ran up your wife's leg And you got jealous because you never touched your wife's leg I did not know you ran up I think I touched it once come check out my my band. I got coached the rich man bitch butterfly on guitar I got scuttled a butterbeen on sacks I got ripper the crunchy tit on drums and me rich the rich man sacks on drums

Sacks on the house It's all drums It's kind of open-to-bangle band. Don't do angle to the band This doesn't sound good. I don't know any of those people. First of all, so of course you don't Scott. You're so high in mighty and you're a big famous world, huh? I live in your house. I live in your floorboards. I come into your pop tart closet and I eat your crumbs. No, is that where my pop tart is going? That's where that going, baby. Look, I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to check out your band. I mean, it sounds bad.

Fuck you, man. You tried to kill me out. Out. Don't. Don't. I'm sorry. I'm still trying to kill you're disgusting. I think roaches. Look, I'm sorry. I think roaches are disgusting. Yeah, because you're jealousy makes I touch your wife's shins. I don't think it's jealousy. Oh, Scott. Guess what? She shaves. Her shins are smooth as hell and you wouldn't know. I guess not, but I was trying to drown me in the bathtub, Scott. You were in the bath. You were sleeping.

I was trying to choke you out. I put all my weight on your items. I hope you didn't stop the breathing. Well, I fall asleep in the bath. Sure, but that's no reason to try to choke me out. And then you just thought there was a scratch on your next. You grabbed me and you held me under water. I look, yes.

I now I'm back from Coco to hell. Is that why it's so hard to kill cockroaches is because you go to hell and then you always come back? And everybody's wives are falling in love with this. I guess so. I mean, I've noticed cool up as a little distant. What is going on? I learned I turned on do not disturb. It's on.

You keep saying that, but it keeps happening! What is happening here? You don't know what you're doing. You want to know that you're popular? Yeah, I'm getting a few things. It's mine, it's my cockroach C-cell phone. And the other cockroaches from Cockroach Hell are hitting me up because they're like,

oh, he was got, oh, he was going, going, going, and some of them want to see your dick. Ah, they don't want to see my dick. Yeah, they do. Because a lot of my cockroach friends have been in your jeans. Really? Yeah, and you didn't even know when you stay up late at night eating your popcorn from Pop Tarts from Pop Tarts from Pop Tarts from Pop Tarts from Pop Tarts. And you get all those crumbs in your belly button.

We're there. Why do you think they're gone in the morning? It's like leaving cookies out for Santa. I'm telling people what I do at it. Okay, this is it. Yeah, it's a little embarrassing. Yes, I eat pop tarts at night and yes, they leave a lot of crumbs on my belly. Your belly button is the size of a cereal bowl. Don't tell me. It's extreme. It's a great, or man. You should come on dodge. Oh, really? Do you think they can picture? Oh, yeah. I'm worried they'll just give me an outie. No, they just drag all the skin a little, a like to make a smaller hole for that.

You should be lucky to have an Audi. What are you driving on Honda? And Cockroach hell, we drive Bougat area at Audi's. That's right. Well look, Cockroach Rick, you're a very interesting person. Wow, thanks. You're not a person though, you're a Cockroach. I'm a Cockroach with jeans. And jeans, yeah. You're not a person though, you're a cockroach. I'm a cockroach with jeans.

And jeans, yeah. And jeans that are too big for you, they're sliding down to your animals. That you're a jeans god. You know, I tricked your wife into thinking that I was you. I dragged your jeans around the bedroom for and she said, Scott, you're home early. I really wish you had stopped doing all this guy's stuff, especially to cool up. She just wants to be left out of, she doesn't want any part of this show. So to have guests coming around and pretending to be me, it's just, especially to cool up. She just wants to be left out of she doesn't want any part of this show

So to have guests coming around and pretending to be me Sorry, but it's not for pretty easy. I yeah, she would fall for something like that You're you're you're invisible tired dragging pants on the floor. I get it But she just wants she want we made love No, yep, and she actually said it was better than usual. Is she what, after it, she said, wow, thanks. Shit. This is like a revenge of the nerd style assault. It truly is.

Number seven. Yeah, cockroach Rick. When you say people voted for that clip, I, I, you feel like this is the reason that people voted for the episode. Yes, I think, I mean, I think people, sometimes people vote just for a section of the episode and you can tell. I feel like this is one of the ones that was so good on a whole, the fact that Cockroach

Rick is the thing that everyone kind of remembers from it. They wouldn't vote for it if it was like a terrible episode. Of course not. But I get a sense. Sometimes what we'll try to do is we'll try to read back like reactions to people and what they really liked. And I think that people would like to hear that clip. We try to play the clips that people want to hear.

Sure. But yeah, that was a cockroach rig. That was cockroach rig! And we'll see if the saga of cockroach rig continues. I don't know whether there's much more to say about him, but I would say don't count them out. That's right. And don't count us out because we're going to come back. We're only halfway through this particular episode.

When we come back, if we come back, that is we're going to get into your choice for episode six. We are getting so low in these numbers. It's exciting. It's gross. No, it's, it's, it's, it's gross. No, it's gross. That's what I was gonna say too. It's so gross. When we come back, oh man, you're gonna be disgusted. We're gonna be so low with these numbers.

We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang best of 2023. Part three. Tum and now it's confusing because we're in 2024. And we keep talking about 2023, but that's because the nature of the show is we're looking back at 2023. Yeah. Now look, honestly, would I rather be doing the best of 2024 right now? Yeah. Yeah, man, because you haven't heard it yet. So all these clips will be new to you. Yeah, and you'd be like, Oh, shit I can't wait for this episode to come out like a dumb baby. Yeah But they're so stupid. I have one. Yeah, and I mean now she's a toddler, but man still

Still, I mean like when do when do people get smart? 17 and then they get really smart. Yeah. All the best decisions in my life, I may have been over 17 years old. Well, this is one of the best decisions I think our listeners ever made is voting on this episode. Let's get to it.

This is your choice for episode number six. Number six. All right, episode number six, Paul. This is the number of the episodes is 810. Yeah. That feels about right. Does it feel right? Yeah, does it feel right?

Cause I just said it, yeah. Yeah. 810, this is from April 30th of 2023. Yeah, right. So what do you think this might be? I think this is the one where everyone goes to the moon and has the pizza party. No, very close. Very close when you say everyone because this happens to be the 14th

anniversary show. Oh, dear. That's right. Another one of our big, we do it on the anniversary shows in the holiday episodes where I invite a ton of people and everyone cycles through. Literally, on bicycles. And unicycles, sometimes. Everyone learned how to ride a unicycle this year. That's why everybody falls asleep after the show's so fast. Did you notice everyone learned how to ride unicycles

just this year? Yeah. Like no one ever rode one. And no one talked about it. No, and then this year just everywhere you look, oh, that person's riding a unicycle, this person. Oh, and then it's just like, and then you learned how. Yeah, and then you did.

Yeah, and what a strange phenomenon. Isn't it weird? And no one's talking about it. And then everyone kind of like forgot about it. Yeah, and stop doing it. And never mention it until just now. I know, it's so strange. It's weird.

This is the 14th anniversary show. Let me tell you who's on it. Please. Jason Manzucas. I know. Andy Daly, Colleft Tompkins, Jessamakena, Jessacumakena. I mean, Jessamakena. Jessamakena. Sean Distan, Drew Tarver, Lisa Gilroy, Lily Sullivan, Tim Bultz, Carl Tartt, Will Heins, Dan Lippert. Woo. This is another one of those big long episodes. So we're gonna hear a selection of clips from it.

The first thing we're gonna hear, Jason Manzucas is the co-host with me. Jason Manzucas people know from. He has his own podcast, How Did This Get Made. He's a great friend of the show. He's been on it ever since the early days. He is on co-hosting with me. And the first clip will here is Andy Daly. Comes on as hot dog. His character

hot dog. That's right. Hot dog is a Shanana enthusiast who, well, a waters king enthusiast who loves the band Shanana and has tried to get into Shana Anon. As well as get them into the Rock and Roll Halls. Yes, and there's a lot of lore about it. Listen to every single episode that we've done about it over the years. Then we're going to hear Paul, you debut a character named Fred Guinness on this episode, and we're going to hear from him. I don't remember what I was originally going to do. This was unplanned.

You were going to be someone else and you usually at the beginning of each episode I asked people, okay, what character, what's your name and like, how do I describe you? What that mouth do. What that mouth do. What's your name? What that mouth do? That's your name? What that mouth do? That's all I want to know. And you gave me whatever name it was.

And then suddenly it comes up in the episode that, and you'll hear it, that we needed to figure out who had the world's record for something. And you volunteered to be Fred Guinness the Volunteered you just kind of jumped in his Fred Guinness and then decided to be him for the entire episode Talk to me about Fred Guinness what what is what is he like? He just was he just on he was just on the holiday

He's a nice enough fellow his He was just on the holiday of so again. He's a nice enough fellow. He has no preexisting relationship to the Guinness book. The name is just a coincidence, but then he took over the Guinness book of World Records and moved to Dublin, Ireland. So we're gonna hear the inception of this character. And then you can listen to his next. I think you did two more appearances after that. I believe so. Yes.

So then that's those are the first couple of clips. Then in between that, Sean distant comes on his Rudy North. So you'll hear him in the next clip. The next clip that we're going to hear is we're going to hear from Drew Tarver and Lisa Gilroy as two characters known as the pig shit twins. That's the debut of the pig shit twins. All right, let's hear it. This is your choice for episode number six. Number six. Jason, we got to get to our holy cast. What are guys? That was so informative. Yeah, you're gonna be here to back me up this entire episode, right?

Okay, let's do it. I'm thrilled to be here celebrating this 14th anniversary. Well, you know, by the way, I never credited our, oh no, not a vampire set our catchphrase submission. It's not going to stick, but our old catchphrase, what's a pot dog, of course. Oh no. I really like it. Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, what's a pot dog, of course. Oh, no. Uh, uh, uh, really.

Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, how did you not see that? Oh, no, hot dog. Hey, what's going on, you guys? Hey, what's going on? You conjured me. What's happening? Uh, where were, where were you just now?

I was at the sun glass, but I got a five minute break coming to me this afternoon. So you were working, you were going to shift. I work at the sun glass hut down in Huntington Beach. Should it be sunglasses? Glasses hut. That's interesting. No. Isn't that the first question you get to every, every person who walks in there?

That's not the first question we get. The first question we get is, is this the sun glass hut?? And you say yes. And then the second question is shouldn't it be sunglasses? So so so went upon arrival. Most people do want confirmation that this is the sunglasses. Yeah, they want to make sure they know where they are. So they're not asking somebody at Kenny's kettle corn, whether it should be sunglasses. hotter. And that's and that Kenny's kettle corn. I've seen that place. That's all caves. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They go. Not cool. What do you mean they they should shut that down? Yeah. You know, because it's a front. It's really those the caves are all big and red and other letters are all smaller in a different. And the employee uniform those goods.

But they're really nice guys. They really are. Hey, Kenny's a sweetheart. They really are. Kenny's a sweetheart. He really knows. I better get it. Don't get them going. Certain topics. Don't get them going. So hot hot. What have you been up to? We haven't seen you in a long time. Man, I've been busy. You know, I've been water skiing. I've been innovating as always out there on the ski. What are you skiing on nowadays? These days, I've been trying to ski on toothpicks. Like bundled together? So no, I've been trying to. You're trying to go smaller and smaller?

That's my thing, man. I'm trying to ski on the small, I'm trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. And of course, I was always trying to get into the water skiing hall of fame, which now as you know, has changed this name to the water board sports hall of fame, which is fucking bullshit.

I don't know why we would know that. Why don't you say we definitely don't know that. It's down there in Pokk, Florida, the water board sports all of famed which is fucking bullshit. I don't know why we would know that Well, I don't know definitely don't know it's down there in poke Florida the water boards boards Did you say pulp Florida P.O.L.K. man? Okay, like our famous. I'm sorry James James H. James L Yeah, yeah sure now I'm not gonna bother them until I'm skiing on toothpicks But right now I'm working down to it. Yeah, what have you gotten down to it this way? Because you for a while you were skiing on on meat. Yeah. Yeah.

And have you ever done chopsticks? Uh, no, I should have done chopsticks. Seems like it may be an in between spot. Well, no, I was skiing. What? Mr. In between. Yeah, I mean, don't mess with that.

Okay. All right. Good. I've been trying to be skiing on, uh, uh, rulers just will cause classic wooden rulers. I'm up to that. One with inches or with centimeters. You know what?

Yeah, both. Great question. One side is it's just the other side of centimeters. Yeah. It's a metric system. Why don't we switch over to the metric system? I think we tried and people couldn't handle it. Yeah. There was riding in the streets.

Was that what those riots were about a few years back? What are you talking about? The 1994 LA Ryan? No, I was thinking about the 2020 riots. Oh, 2020 riots? Listen, that's one of the topics you should not get Kenny, Kenny's getting porn going on. You know, I'm going to talk about it.

Yeah, the Celsius riots of 2021. Yeah, man. Yeah, so you're on rulers. How's that going? No, now rulers was, it was was very very tricky. It was really hard But I know exactly how big my feet are, but I'm not gonna do it. Oh, okay. I'm not telling out. I would love to know I don't you just whisper that's like as I almost want to know how long and why they are more than I want to see them Yeah, you said maybe you want to see my feet man

What if you tried what if you tried skiing on one of those things that measures your feet in a shoe? It's called a brannock device. Brandic device. What do you know that man? I might own a few. What? Why do you do that? Listen, I'll come around.

I'll measure feet all day long. Attention wiki v. I got my own. I got my own brannock device and I'm just going around measuring feet. Okay. Like a real cool dude. Just it's not creepy. If you've got a branic device. All right. Interesting. Yeah, but branic was a creep. Oh, really? Oh,

your brand was no, should we cancel branic? Cancel branic, man. What do he do? Um, you know, that's my new private detective TV show, branic. Okay. And he just goes around measuring. He finds a footprint. It's. It's all he solves it all. I literally watched a Colombo the other day, which was all about like, it's just so weird. Yeah, they're in rain last night. There's no footsteps. In the in the mud over here. This is your Natasha Leon. Yeah. Doing Colombo. So, so anyway, my idea, I'm going to be skiing on the smallest water skis of all time. And it's going to be toothpicks.

What are the smallest currently? What's the record? Yeah. The smallest currently is just child, that children have water ski on child size commercially available. Like the rulers are already smaller. You've done it. Great news. Congrats. You did it. No, no, no, no. But with the rulers, you've done it. That's not what I'm laughing at, Hato.

What do you mean, everybody? It's just tough. I have to get his book on the horn right now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, yeah, inches is the given. So are you ready to give him the the world record? Let me just check my fast. Okay, looks like the current record is, well, it's just some kids, you know, one of the skis. Comments available, child side waterski. Who's there? Oh, hi, hot dog. Do you know this guy? Hot dog. Of course, I do hot dog. He calls me booning dude in that. He's constantly trying to send water skiing rigorous. Well, he said one. I guess he's he's

skied on rulers. Well, you guys have a new thing where you don't encourage people to do dangerous things. And so the fact that I am the man who introduced firearms to water skiing and that I am capable of water skiing through lava. That's right. We call these dark ones. By the way, have you ever done it? You say you're capable of it? I know. I'm capable of it. And I'm waiting to tell you there's a strong enough incentive to do it. You watch that documentary fire of love. And you were like, I could totally water ski that magma flow. I can definitely water skim magma flow. When I see that revenge at the

sith, all I want to say is Anakin water skid, man. that revenge of the Sith, all I want to say is Anakin, water skid, man. Yeah. Well, hot dog. I have good news for you. What? We're putting you at the top of the list for this record, depending our investigations, of course,

for the smallest water skids of all time. When you usually do an investigation like this, we said, feel team out to see if it's true. Forensics. Forensics, we talked to the locals. We gather at a good level, it's as well. So you'll be sending a team out to Huntington Beach where they're already be there.

Well, here's my concern. I didn't want to alert again as book of world records until I was down to toothpicks because I don't want to do that thing where like somebody breaks the record for the greatest number of cigarettes smoked by like 101 cigarettes and then somebody else goes and smokes 102. and they only had the record for a minute. So I wanted to get down to something unbeatable to so as not to draw a competition.

We don't know if they're gonna call waiting. We're like, got to call waiting. He's on call waiting. I can't hear you. He's on call. Uh oh. What happened? I'm back.

Bad news. What's going on? Somebody just sent a record for water skiing on the little like half rule, the six-inch one. Oh, yeah. The plastic one. The little plastic one. The plastic one. Which red probably? Oh, I'm so sorry. Little red rulers. Little red rulers. Oh, hot dog. Have you skied on little red rulers? I've never skied on anything red in my life. Wait, what about the meats? Wait, because I don't want to attract sharks as whole. So those were like, those are hot dogs themselves.

Those were white meat. The dogs are red. Those were white meat. Are you like the sort of cartoon hot dogs? Yeah, I know. Because they're red as hell. Well, I gotta go. Oh, great talking with you guys.

Hey, so what was your name? It was my name Fred get us Fred get it holy shit Fred get us some sound Fred get us with Please please don't call this up anymore. Oh, I have a feeling we're gonna call you call me left me on hold I can't believe this you've just just a record for rudest guy ever spoke Oh my in the book Click Wow well deserved wow he clicked you hard bro. He makes me so fucking hard Right all right, let's get to our next guest

They've never been on the show before I don't know anything about them, but please welcome the pig shit twins. Oh God. Oh, no. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to show. I thought you were singing Happy Birthday to me, but it's happy birthday to you. Oh, these are kids. Oh, boy. Oh, no, these are children called the pig shit twins. And your names, your names are Clem and Pearl. Clem and Pearl. Clem and Pearl. Big shit. I also went. So you were born on the day of our first episode.

Oh my gosh. Wow. The bar daddy skull. Oh, I don't know about that. I don't know. Your dad punish us. Well, why don't you spank our big little booty? Oh, God.

You better do it. I mean, I guess I should. We need booty? Oh God, you better do it. I mean, I guess I should. We need this a plan. Oh, thank you dad. You're welcome. Thank you. I'll link up another if you have it. All right.

Can I ask y'all? Can I ask y'all? Even it up. I got to ask y'all weird as a question. Yeah. Your name? Your name is Clayman Pearl. Clayman Pearl. What's the story behind the day? Why did you? What is it? We named each other.

Oh, Clam. I named him Clam because he looked like a Clam and he named me Pearl because I broke him. I'll take you down a figure. You broke your teeth on a prong till so you didn't like a shell and you were old enough to have teeth to break on a pearl Are you trying to find a song or do you know one? We see these do-o's that sing sometimes at the grand old offer and we want because we sometimes live in a tuba. Yeah, we should definitely do.

How big are you guys? We can put your beaten shiny and wet. Look at our butts. Big wet butts. Red. They do have big wet butts and that's weird and red is a hot dog There Clams little penis is a corkscrew piggy squeal tail. Oh boy

Oh, we don't want to see that we don't want to do well. We'll leave your butts all day We'll let my little penis in the court to biggy tail So you live in a tube and that's giving you an opportunity Yeah, let her keep going. I'm interested in this I don't want to see That still doesn't explain why you look like a clav. The big part I get. Look at my snout.

I'm going to open up my shell. Oh, okay. It's not going to clean because he's a little bit of a silly fat. It's bursting at the seams. When I was seen down the middle, my bursty pocket. A bit long enough. Okay, I'm going to poke it. Woohoo!

Yeah. Didn't burst. Oh, yeah, but some brining water did come out. I'm gonna poke it. Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo! Yeah! Yeah! Didn't burst. Oh, yeah, but some brining water did come out. Yeah. Squeed on out of his belly button. Feed him some, Scott, out there. Here we go.

Here we go. Lactate! That was awesome! Yeah! Out one end, did the other. Oh, good. Oh, good. Clamette, never had a granola bar before.

Oh my, I said something. I can't believe you. Very insane. Oh my god. Nature Valley! Oh boy. Is this a You see. Oh my god. Nature Valley. Oh boy. Is this a sponsor? Are you guys here for Nature Valley Grenola Bar? Oh, you guys are street friends.

Oh, hey, Fred, you have a phone. Nature Valley, a crumbliest Grenola Bar. That's what I was gonna say. They hold the record. No one else is even close. Nature Valley is redoing their Grenola Bar. They're gonna make it stick together now. Oh really? How do you know how do you know this clamp? I think you're

have a light sponsor. Oh you are okay. I'm gonna do one of those like like Domino's style apology commercials with it like we know we fucked up. That was the best. When Domino's like look we heard our pizza It is always We promise to make it good Yeah, we all partner with nature badly they did crumbly before they need a little bit of breaking grease in there Oh, don't know to grow please to get it Is that what they're just grinding on those chairs. Yeah! My boots!

Oh God! My hooves need a pounder! She's your butt, Sir, it's you and your hooves need a pounder! Oh, she said her vagina was a hoof. Hey, not so fast! My feet are also hoofs, my hooves are also hoofs. Okay, which one needs the pounding? I'll learn it. Okay, yeah. That's pounding? I'll lose.

Okay, yeah. That's good. She's 14. Easy, Scott. A.T. You can spank, but don't touch. What do you guys hear for? We've been being bad around town.

We've been being bad around town. You were bad around town and you ended up here? Yeah, we were. We've been poking people with a stick out in front of Target. Yeah, we've been causing new problems. Yeah, I'm surprised you hadn't seen you start to run and we live in the mud and you need to go house. Oh, I thought you lived in a tuba in the rental opera.

You have to go to the other room. Yeah, there's two people in the house. By coastal. Yeah, so every time something bad happened to you, like, oh, you get up and you got a piece of gum on your shoe, that's a pig. That happened to me this morning. Yeah, that's time someone Bayh having you like, oh, you get up and you got a piece of gum on your shoe. That's a pig. That happened to me this morning. Yeah, that's pig. Yeah. That's us. That's us. That's pig shit twins. Yeah. Everything bad. It's ever happened.

Yeah. We've been sneaking into movie theaters and makes sure to run times over two hours. Yeah. We've been going to McDonald's be that's on you. That's how it was. How was this accomplished? That's on you. How is this accomplished? Because I'm in the frame. That is us. You know how the frame works. It happens in the movie theater. Movie starts. Every movie has the original editor's cut. Right. Every movie you know. Yeah, I follow so far.

So we get access to it and we added it. Okay. How do you gain access to the actual you see we leave in a tube Well, we can cry inside the fiber tubes that go to the movie. Oh This makes We'll take our channel a bunch of Fiber tubes was the only thing I was Classic fiber tube stuff We fucking shit up we shit her beach all over this town was the only thing I was thinking. It's classic fiber tube stuff. We live right in there. We fucking shoot up.

We shitter beach all over this town. We're all weird. No, we're we peeing. I don't like to say that guests are weird on the show. Like I hardly would say it, but you guys are fucking weird. You guys are leaving, you're leaving tuba grease all over the chair. Yeah. Then you tuba grease that hoof grease.

Oh my god. Why is gross about that? What is gross about hoof grease? You actually got weird. So your whole thing is hoof grease and clam juice? What is this? Your gross! I don't know what you're saying.

You knocked the thing off it went over your shoulder. I don't even want this kind of stuff. I don't even need it. Oh, you can't hear me. I whole thing is clam juice. And two degrees. Knock, knock, knock, you're both. That's fleshed out.

We are fleshed out. Man, this, this sounds pretty fleshed out to me. Number six. Pig sheet. Why did they, I had never asked them why did they decide to do the pig sheet twins? Because they said we're going to do these characters we've been doing the pig sheet twins. Was it something they were doing like backstage at a show? I mean, it must have been. Yeah. Yeah. Because that'll happen a lot. That happened with

some characters that you and Drew do as well, I believe, wasn't it? We'll talk about that later. Yeah, pig shit twins. That was a really fun episode. That's of course another like two and a half hour one. So we can only play a fraction of those clips, but go back and listen to them. All right, we're going to take a break when we come back and if we come back, we're going to crack the top five. This is so exciting. I hope you're not soiling yourself. I hope you're not soiling green.

I hope you, oh my God, but it is people. Oh no, you, spoilers. If you're listening to this and you're soiling green, I'm sorry. What else can I say but I'm sorry? All right, we'll be right back Best of 2023 part three and look we're in the final stretch here What's I mean? I'm so excited about this, Paul. I can't.

Because I've wanted to crack a top five forever. But you've done it before? Yeah, but it was so long ago. Yeah, I hear you. It was so long ago, I just want to crack another top five. I hear you, I hear you can do it. Let's do it. Let's hear this is your episode number five. You can do it. Let's do it. Let's hear this is your episode number five.

Number five. All right, Paul. Now normally, when I say what the episode number is, you have no opinion. You just give me a blank dumb stare. I suppose that does happen. Just like all the intelligence drains from your eyes. Mm-hmm. And you just kind of slack jawed look at me and you go But you cut that out, right?

Yeah, but this time I'm gonna give you an episode number and I expect you to react. Oh, okay, with knowledge and with foresight. Okay. This is episode number 800 Are you fucking kidding me? I would not kid about this real. It's real. It's real. You know, whenever I hear the phrase, it's real. I don't know. You know what? It's not that I, when I hear the phrase, it's real,

but if somebody asks me to, if somebody expresses surprise at something, I in my mind here, Rich Little as Johnny Carson, in that movie, The Late Shift, where he, as Carson announces his retirement and then he comes off stage and everybody's like, they didn't, people are blindsided by this. And he looks at them and says, it's real. We've talked about this. Yeah. And it will not. It's just there. Never going to leave your brain in my brain. Here's the thing about the late shift.

Yeah. You get Rich Little, one of the most well-known impersonators of all time, to do one of the characters. Yeah. Genius. And then you cast a bunch of dumb assholes in all the other parts that no one's ever heard of. Do you think they cast Rich Little first?

And then they said, we're going to fill up this cast. Just have Rich Little do everybody. You know, we can do it. Let's remake the lay shift with Rich Little is every character now. And he will he'll do a clumps. He'll do every character. The clumps.

They're clumps. They're all one guy. Yeah, but it is real Paul and it's spectacular. It's episode 800 from March 12th of 2023. It's an episode called Operation Golden Orb. Mm-hmm. And you know this one, Paul. Yeah, I know this one.

Hell yeah, you do. This is another entry in the Byron Deniston slash gris saga. This takes a little explaining, I guess, what this is all about. But Andy daily, the comedian, we've heard from him already on the best ofs. He has been doing, he's been on the show since the beginning. He does several characters, sometimes in the same episode. He's been doing a character by Ron Deniston, who is a royal watcher for maybe a decade now. And that is a character that when you say royal watcher,

not meaning someone who just like has tabs on the royals and their comings and goings and what they're doing. He's literally in the walls of their house spying on. Now a couple years ago, I believe, yes, this is during this during COVID because this was a zoom. He was, we, we, by happen chance, we found out happen chance. Someone said that to me by moment chance. He found himself. We found out that part of Byron Denson's thing is he believes all the royals of the world

will soon blast off into space when the earth is blown up. And he was trying to find out who the most eligible bachelor ret who was a royal was and was going to try to date them so that he could have a seat on the rocket ship. And he mentioned, I sound insane when I'm saying all this, but he mentioned a particular royal who is young and considered to be the most attractive. Lady Amelia Spencer. Yes, right. And we were talking about how he was going to try to be the most attractive. Lady Amelia Spencer. Yes, right. And we were talking about how he was going to try to date her,

and then Jason Menzoukis did a little research while we were talking about it and found out that she was currently dating an English swimming... Water polo. Water polo instructor named the Gris. That's right. And this is on his Zoom episode that we're doing. And Paul, you zoom-chatted me, you had planned on doing a different character and you zoom-chatted me, hey, what if I just did the grizz?

I was going to be a sheevil, can you believe me? Sheevil, right. And so, no, only I knew this was going to happen because I had been chatted by Paul, but suddenly in the middle of Andy Daly's bit, you came on as the Gris. And it has now spawned several episodes where the Gris and Byron Deniston had a water polo competition to the death. that's right. So, just a lot of insane lore happening on this. This is another tour to force episode where Andy and Paul juggle several characters at once.

This time, I believe, when we come into these clips, Andyus playing Byron, he started playing Byron, and then I think I force him into playing Hot Dog at the same time. He didn't plan on that. And Paul, you are going to be Andrew Lloyd Webber because we found out before we taped this episode that Andrew Lloyd Webber was going to write a song for the coronation. And so Andrew Lloyd Webber had not been part of this up till now. But now he is part of the gris saga. And then of course you play the gris as well a little bit later.

We're going to hear several selections from this episode. This is just an incredible one. This is your episode number five. Number five. Let's bring them on. He is a royal watcher. He closely watches the royal family, the monarchy. They're in England. Please welcome back to the show by Rindenestit.

Thank you. It's wonderful to be here. I am very, very great to see you. Nice to meet you again. I'm very interested in speaking with you. I just have to say, anyone's interested in listening at all. But I'm glad to be here and glad to be here. I don't care about the other people because I'll be honest.

Never before I feel like in my lifetime have the royals been so prominently featured in pop culture. It's extraordinary. What a time to be a marathon. The roles. Yes. Yes. What a time to be staring at them all the time as I do.

It's that's right. Wonderful. You were on the show before and you've talked about, you were on the show before. I believe I've been on this show before. And we've talked about how you, there is sort of a cottage industry, royal watching out there in England. You do it a little bit differently.

Well, I suppose, yes, I would say I'd do it a bit better than most, you know, most sort of, rely on friends of friends as sources and whatnot. And I'm more of a direct source. I find my way into the lives of the royals. Yeah, what's interesting about you, Birenin, you've profiled it. We've talked to you many times as we've profiled you in the past, but you are an immersive royal watch.

Oh, that could be. You're not watching from the scrum from the street. You are undercover. You are Donnie Brasco in yourself inside of these royals. Was Donnie Brasco undercover or was he the guy that was looking at the people who are undercover going, are you undercover? Sorry, wait a minute, go again. Do it again. Was he the guy who goes undercuff?

I like when you do it style. Of course, he the guy going like, you're the guy that says, what are you undercover? Or, hey, I'm undercover. The latter. Those are the two choices. It's the you're either, hey, Donnie, we need you to go into a, I'm undercover scenario. Nada, or you want to cover?

Are you thinking of a departure scenario? That's more of a, are you under cover scenario? I guess. And no, I'm not. And that I'm under cover scenario. That movie was too many things. Hey, can I ask you questions? Yeah, Jimmy, what's up?

What? I mean, what's the people say to Donnieasco, in to ask if people are undercover? Wouldn't they already know who's undercover? I can't hear you, come in here. All right. All right, Shemming, what was your question? Guess what, wouldn't the people who are standing on the brasco in to find out if people are undercover?

Wouldn't they already know who's undercover? I'm not saying, I can say forget. No, I'm saying is, Donnie Brasco, the guy going, I'm undercover. Or is he the mob boss? We're going like, are you undercover? Are you undercover? Oh, I wanted to know which one is good. Yeah, I'm wondering if you're the mob boss. I really don't know. I just asked people if they're undercover. Yeah. Is he Jack Nicholson or is he like 90?

Wait, you think Jack Nicholson is in Donnie Brasco? No, I'm saying in the in the departing analogy. Also, who is he telling I want to cover? I guess whoever is that? That's the inner model of the cover. The film is called Johnny Brasco. Who is Johnny Brasco in Johnny Brasco? Is he the other person? The guy under cover is he the guy going under. You know, the cover is in the movie saying with everything but words, I'm undercover. Okay, so body language actions,

all of this, everything is I'm under. These mob guys gotta read like body language. Oh yeah, well, they should take course. El Pacino is the low level guy. Oh, that's right, that's right. That's, I remember this movie now. Yeah, the end of the cover. Good stuff.

Yeah, what else is going on in the coronation? Because it's well you know we don't know yet with a harry and megan will attend the coronation They have been invited, but we don't know yet whether they'll make the trip There is going to be a concert and laser light show. Would you like to hear? Yeah, let me guess Elton John Yes, I hope John's appearance has been he's been described as unavoidable Yes, I hope John's appearance isn't. No, this guy. He's been described as unavoidable. Uh, because he was supposed to retire.

Yes. And he's been going around on this. This is my last show ever. In this particular city. Yeah. And then he does like 800 more shows. I was impressed. Come on.

King Charles was asked his opinion of having Elton John perform. And he said, there's no point having an opinion. And it will happen, won't it? He seems sort of upset. It's a pinion of having Elton John perform and he said there's no point having an opinion it will happen, weren't it? Seems sort of upset but there will also be a Performance by Eric Clapton and Van Morrison You're kidding like true modern villains and what do you mean villains? No deeply anti-vac He's a legend. He's a classic rock and roll racist and anti-Semitic.

Well, they're going to be premiering two new songs written for the occasion. One called, you can keep your microchip Mr. Gates. And another called, I'm not sorry, I'm white. From what I understand, it's going to be a 40-minute set with just those two songs. So we're from a lot of stage banter. And I heard that, man, Morrison is rewriting one of his songs to be blue eyed girl. Come on. I blonde head blue eyed girl. I'm here blue eyed girl. Yes. Yes. He's been running a bunch of yieldies.

Yeah. There will also be a Morrissey Roger Waters and fresh out of Wandsworth prison Gary Glitch. So wait. King Charles is going to pardon Gary Glitch. No, you know, he knows, King Charles is going to pardon Gary Glidget. No, you know, he released now. Oh, he's the month ago. I did read that. I did read that. I did read that.

He was released into the care of Prince Andrew and the two of them, and just been shuttling back and forth between Bangkok and London. They were sent to research in a book with Pete Towns. Yes. Research. Townsend will be there, of course. The poigest sisters performing new chondans, of course. Oh, research. Townsend will be there, of course. The poigest sisters performing new trondans, of course. Okay, great. Are they going to stop over? They say dance?

Probably yes. That's about it. There is an effort to get some more LGBT plus performers involved, but the king has said, preferably not boy George, but he's willing to happen there if need be. I wonder why I don't know There's been some talk of having the alive members of dead are alive Right, he had people to follow that call. Yeah, right Yes, yes, apparently yes that band cannot be booked dead or alive as their title says you they won't have the dead But interesting well there. I mean this is quite a celebration It's gonna be one. Are you gonna are you gonna be there? I will absolutely be there. Well, that I mean this is quite a celebration. It's gonna be one. Are you gonna? Are you gonna be there?

I will absolutely be there. Well, I'm not done yet. There's another band called Sean on now that would be there The light fending Blue's tribute band. Hold on. Go backwards. Go backwards. Yes. Say less That Sean on us gonna be? A band called Sean on No, and you think it's a light fan danger? Yeah, it's a moody blues tribute band? That's right, yeah. No, not a prokoherum tribute band? Well, it doesn't really matter.

So they don't even know the music that they're contributing. It's maybe not the tribute that the newbie blues would have wished for. So they sing pro-go-herum songs as a tribute to the newbie blues. Yeah, that's what it is. They must be very altered. I hope the newbie blues are sitting there having to listen to it too. And Eric Clapton and Van Morrison will join them for a wider shade of pale. Now before the break you said you had some exciting news about who was going to perform with the coronation.

Yes, do you know Prince Charles? I do, yes. You think I was going to be King? Well, he is King. I'm sorry. I've miss pick King Charles the third is a tremendous fan of cats and He of the musical not the animals. No, he does. He likes the animals I don't think so at all. No, we're to like the musical without liking the animals Well, I think he feels that the musical takes the piss out of the animal a bit

But I wonder if people are allergic to the musical takes the piss out of the animal a bit. But I wonder if people are allergic to the musical at all. You don't also have to take the piss out of the animal. The animal will get rid of it. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, we've learned that in the hard way here. Oh, yeah. The Okerman compound. Oh, my. But the composer of cats is a fellow by the name of Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber. And he has been a. I hate to interrupt. but he is not a sir. Whoa, oh, he's a lord and he has been asked by King Charles to compose an original song for the event of the coronation. Wow, that's exciting news. For one of the cats.

I don't know if it'll be, I don't know if it'll be James Corden as the cat. But you know who I brought along to explain it. Who? The lord himself. Yes, yes. Oh my gosh. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, oh my God. Oh, I'm Edward Weber. Hello. So I live in Brie. My dear boy, how long has it been?

I couldn't even say I'm still talking. Oh, sorry. How long has it been since last we laid eyes upon each other? Can you say and now I've done after every sentence? Now I've done. Okay. Thank you so much. I couldn't even tell you at least a year or so, right? Yes, at least a year!

And now I'm done. And now I'm not done. Okay, now you can't force it, there boy. You can't force it. I can't force it, now I'm done. Come force it now, I'm done. We are reunited. And it feels so good.

Now I got it. Thank you so much. Well, it's so wonderful to see you, Lord. Wonderful. And Jason Banzukas. What a delight. I don't think we've ever met. And it's an honor.

Please never. But then all you've met, of course, we've met, my friend. Of course, I mean, like, we hang out together. Yeah, really? An email went around some time ago where everyone was meant to be B.C. seed, but we were C. seed. And that is how I came to have Android web as email address. And so I email him all the time.

And on this occasion, who was sending that email? Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong. Boy, after he knows. Yes, no, I know. Yeah. Yes, after notes. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah.

Yes, the American astronauts. Right. You're American astronaut. Why, you're one of the stars. Why was he emailing you if you don't mind me asking? He wanted me to talk about the moon. Oh, really? He accidentally called me to his entire address.

He was older. So, you know, everything, everything else filled in. Did you and did you end up writing the song? Yes, I did. Wow. What can we hear a little bit? Absolutely. Open the sky. There's the sun, we see it every night. It looks upon us with remorse. It does not understand our plight. The moon cries for you. The moon sheds a tear.

The moon blows, it flows on the tissue looking down at your fair and then the trumpets come in and then the saxophones and then the shadows and then the picolos and then the mini picolos wow incredible I am one confidence and comfortable

saying that's the best Andrew look every song I've heard in 25 it's very good. Thank you. Actually, it's as good as anything you wrote for late mr. Robla Which is my favorite of my my absolute favorite role the Now I've grown to tolerate. We've become because we are united in our love for the royal family. But not only did you misunderstand my rank, no, no, no, that was gone. I statured. I am a barred, android-loid woman, a pure of the realm.

Yes, but I did not write. Let me say, oh, you must add though, it's it's so wonderful. Do you think I wrote all musicals? Do you think rent is one of mine? Isn't your right 42nd Street? But that was next. Right, I forgot. It was an existing musical. And you just wrote it verbatim. It was, there was some significant difference. Like, but for the most part, it was, well, it took place on 41st Street. Oh, I knew what I was. And, but for the most part, yes.

It was identical in every single way. Did you write nights and whites then? I wish. Did you write that canned heat song? Do you know what you're talking about? I'm going up the couch. Maybe don't you want to go. Why don't you write that song that I did told him to sing like that?

To sing like that. Then that sound like a little like shimmy things. That's fine. I said, see it as though you're in a can and it's very hot. It wasn't good idea. I also suggested they change the name to tinned heat. Ah, yes, of course. But so Lord Weber, you are writing this song for the

coronation. Yes, a great honor. Can it be about any subject or does it have to be about the coronation? It must be about the coronation of his majesty King Charles III. And will this song forgive me and maybe this is what I mean I can go off on tenets. Yes. Oh, is this song going to be sung by Alton John? Is this in conjunction with or is this two separate things on me? Oh, no, it was most decided enough to be so I know I want to be in real life members. Just felt in the

D.com I'll say inverted color. Elton John, are you still upset that Tim Rice started writing musicals with Elton John instead of you? I say left the devil take the move. I'm so sorry. No, I mean dim rice went to much success with Elton John Yes, but he had to be around Elton John that would be a musical I would watch the devil taking both Tim rice and Elton John where I stay stick around for a year because I'm I have something to do with the episode nine

Really you know how you can challenge the devil to some sort of a contest, right? Yes. It would be something to see a songwriting contest between Tim Rice and Elvin John versus the devil. Who might write a better song? It would be great. The devil wouldn't even need to cheat. Although I bet he would like start playing his electric guitar and pretend it's a fiddle

or his violin. You know, you know, devil went down to Georgia. Well, that's why he is like suddenly he's like oh I'm playing my that's exactly Do you know the song to move it down to Georgia? Sorry because he starts play He was that one of yours. That's one of yours isn't it the devil went dead the Charles Daniels down I guess I'm not as familiar as I thought I was with you next you look you as we have of writing take this job and then shove it by Jonathan paycheck Oh missurjunct He was recently knighted he was recently knighted yeah

He was usually They'll knight anyone it seems you know If this was pre rollerblades too, yeah,, is that what put it out of business? This is how rollerblades were invented. Okay, I found this on the web for this is pre rollerblades to read. Who is that? Who is talking? Who is this? Who is this?

Siri. Madam, show yourself. How is it in our, who is that woman? This is all going through the little guy had a problem with this a couple of weeks ago. Could it be the Phantom Edge of the studio? This is, I had a problem with this a couple of weeks ago. Could it be the phantom edge of the studio? This is... I had a problem with this a couple of weeks ago. My good friend August Lidt helped me figure it out.

I put it on, do not disturb, but it still activates this woman. I don't even want to say her name. I wonder what we said, the triggered it. I don't know, triggered much, Siri. Oh no, I said it. You should just say them across the whole. This is like saying, what's a pot dog or something? The dude if it was... I figured much, Siri. Oh no, I said it. Oh. You should just say them across all the places.

This is like saying, what's a hot dog or something? Oh. It's beautiful. Wow. Oh no. Oh no. What's going on? Hey, what's going on, guys?

Oh, shit. Do you use that phrase the same way you use, hey, Siri? Oh, shit. What's the matter? What's the weather going to be tomorrow? What's going to be perfect water skiing weather. Hey, hot dog. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you here. Oh, you didn't?

Uh, you can stick around though. I was right in the middle of an epic water skiing session, which is why I'm so wet, wearing my bathing trunks. Are you the hot dog? Well, yeah. Who are you? I'm Lord Andrew Lloyd-Weber. I'm a songwriter after a fashion. Of course, I've heard of you,

because water skiing is very much a rich person's fault. Well, you need a boat. You do need a boat? And it's got to be able to get up to at least 27 miles per hour. So it's got to be a pretty good boat. Well, best fine-pottens are to pleasure to see your person. It's wonderful. Yeah, it's a great good-good-good-me and meet you. Hey, Pec, your father. Have you ever written a musical about Watterski?

Oh, I've tried so many times. You have? very difficult nothing rhymes with water ski. That's the problem, right? Exactly the problem is the only thing holding me back. Oh, man Well also they won't let me flutter theater. It's also interesting Oh, Byron, maybe you could be the plus one of someone else like there has to be someone else coming like another royal like Wasn't there someone that you were very fond of? Or are you dating were you yeah, weren't you dating someone? I can't remember the deal with the lady Amelia Yes, yes, yes, but I It's big. Oh, dear. It only comes very complicated with host

She sort of has this boyfriend fellow by the name of who goes by the goes by the grise and it goes what do you tell her what please don't mention this name oh oh oh you have dealings with this mister I apologize I know this is your friend do I don't know why I'm called Mr. Nodongzin. Mr. Lord Weber, that's a big feedback. Peace, glory Lord, that's all right. All right. Lord and Lord Weber. Close enough. Do you have feelings with this fellow? I have avoided feelings with him. He is well known in our circles. He's a terrifying man.

Oh, it's me awful. He's so scary. Who the gris? Yes, the gris. We've met him before. We've met him before. He's a terrifying man. Offer, he's me awful. He's so scary. Who the gris? Yes, the gris. We've met him before. We've met him, yeah. Who he is. You actually met the gris? Oh, yeah, we've met the gris. He's a, he's a, uh, he's a waterfall player, right?

Is that what we met him in the pool? He's a waterfall. That's right. He has defeated me in multiple duels up to now for the hand of Lady Amelia. And it's absolutely humiliating. I would have so sorry. It's so sorry, by the So sorry, but it's terrible.

But for that reason alone, I really, I don't want to entangle myself with either of them anymore or much rather get smuggled in in a piano. You're right, so you don't want anything to do with Lady Amelia anymore. Of course I do, but I just said, what is that shortening? That shortening.

What is that shortening? I hear it somewhere. I also hear shortening. I hear a faint shortening also here at Chordling. I hear a faint Chordling. Down here. Down here. Is that what? How do I look?

Did you say that? Did you just say down here? I don't think so. Maybe. You know what? Should we look down the hill? I guess. I mean, right now, I've just been looking straight ahead this entire show, not even looking at any

of you. Should we look, should we turn our heads maybe we should look up? No, nothing up there. You great, Pellectite. Should we look behind us? I think we should look down. You think we should look down? Under the table.

I think we should look under the table. You don't think we should do all directions except down first? Just to make sure if anyone's gonna be in the process of eliminating organic. Is that a time minimum for these episodes? I know there's no maximum. Let me just hit it.

800, 800, you said 800 minutes. That's right, yeah, we're just at the beginning. Let's look down. Oh my God. Yeah. The Gris. You thought I was a glass of water, but no. The Gris.

They'll say I've been trying to drink out of what I now realize as the Gris, the whole time. Did you get anything? I got zero. Gris, how did you disguise yourself as a glass of water? You have the powers to do that as a water polo instructor? I was this bloat poured me into his glass, didn't he? What?

I came out through the drying. He has the power to become water. Yes, I can travel through any water conveyance. That's right. Like what's your point? Like zen, of like, zane. Yeah. Of zan, zane and jane.

Zan and jane. Zan and jane. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Interesting. You're like, you're like Pennywise. Who? Pennywise.

Do you ever see him down there? A little nasty looking clown. Do you mean the clown? I call him Pennywise. Not town foolish. No. No, they know it with a book. It's not Pennywise.

Yeah, I know. They should have called it Pennywise. The movie's called it. I, it's, every version. It, they know it's not Pennywise. I know they should have called it Pennywise the movie's called it Every version speak called it. It's not the white here the clown He's in the choir. This is a clown that can go through the drain as well. Yeah, he has the powers of a waterfall Oh, it's trying he lives in the drain. Oh really? He doesn't teach anybody a water pole. Oh, it's all and he's not royal at all No, he just eats fear Chris. What are you doing here? By the way, this is Andrew Lloyd Webber Oh you guys have met I forgot so yeah gris you know we are gonna the pleasure Oh More of a Tim Rice fan myself. No, no gris. I agree. He's wonderfully terrific. Wow. That's not what you were saying about him right before

I was cratering In the Great bank or in to city back in my neck getting dirty and grit me in it. Yes, that's from chess the musical Tim Rice wrote with the men of Abba. Yes, I do. I think they've been using a lot of time. Yeah, it's a proper musical that one That's not what he was saying before, Gris. I have to say. I started to blow up your spot, Andrew Lloyd Webber, but you were saying that you hated Tim right?

I did. And Andrew Lloyd Webber said that you wrote Lee, Mizoram. Oh, sorry, yeah, I didn't write Lee, Mizoram. Oh, no, you said he wrote Lee, Mizoram. I wonder what you said. What did he wrote to lay Mizoram? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. My written, that is, don't you mean, no, I live in breathe. I've been trying to hide behind the microphone. It's a catchphrase.

By the deficit as I live in breathe. Yeah, though you were gonna hear it sooner or later. Oh, listen to the phrase, I don't want any trouble with you at all. All right, forget it. I'm getting to the coronation another way. I have no desire to challenge you for the hand of Lady Amelia anymore. I can't stand the humiliation, I can't stand it anymore. Well, fair play to you. Oh really? Oh, glad to hear it. And I suppose I'll see you at the coronation.

Yes. If you know where it actually is. Oh, what? Why don't you take place at the ambient, Westminster Abbey, then? Coronation. Yes, if you know where it actually is What? What did you take place at the Amon Westminster? I mean, oh, uh, if that's what you think then. Yeah, that's where it takes place. Oh my god. There's mr Ways a mission. It's taking place somewhere else. Oh, you didn't hear that from me This is a this is a fake coronation This is a this is a fake coronation Well, that's not going to be possible.

Oh, you didn't think so. Lady Amelia's not going to the coronation. What are you going? She's staying at home. She's going to what she send us. Oh, why? She's been doing it. She's almost caught up to real time. There's so much of it. Are there any hundred of us? I wish she'd'd done by now.

Oh, there's more. Wait, does that mean you have a plus one? I do. Oh, my goodness. This would be a weird turn of events if suddenly you were grizzes plus one. Not weird at all, I didn't think. I think it would be lovely.

What a turn up for the books. We could have put all of our past differences aside and simply sort of get agendas together. We could, I suppose. It's I suppose we could. Or you could tell me what it's worth to you to go to the coronation and what shows royals at the most royal event possible.

Oh my god. Even more royal than a royal wedding. A coronation, the royalist of all royal events. It is a number one royalist thing with a bullet. The passing of the scepter and the orb. There hasn't been one for what? 80, 90 years? There may not be another one for another who's here.

Two years. Three months. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. My god, I've got to be at this one. I will say it is crazy that Lady Amelia is almost about to finish EastEnders because they have 5,180 episodes. She's been, she's been stayed up day and night. Poked a black coffee. She's been taking I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying right. You see, I'm a minute behind and I'm white behind. And I wonder, wait a minute. What if you were to offer me your immortal soul? Holy shit.

Byron, this is reminding me of something we talked about earlier in the episode. What's that? What is this? The coronation. Yeah. What? It's reminding me of the court.

We're still talking about it. Oh, I'm sorry. I sold out for a minute. Of course, is this reminding you of the court? We're still talking about. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, I sold out for a minute. Of course, he's reminded you of it. He's still talking about it. Continuing the conversation. Okay. I'm sorry. I was only go. What do you say, baron? Put it on paper. Your immortal soul belongs to the grays. Well, look, let me say this. I will challenge you to a com just of some sort. And if you win, you may have my soul.

You've already challenged him to a water polo. And a duel, yes. I don't do this. Listen to Lord Weber here. Well, but perhaps I can have something like Woody Allen for some. Listen to Lord Weber here. But in that way, that in a fight to the Weber here. Yeah, put it in that way that it affects all the death. You can have someone stand in for you.

I think it should be a song-composing contest. And I'll have Lord Lloyd Weber stand in for me. What now? You've made me your second hand stand in? Yes. And then you'll defeat the gris, and then I'll be able to hang on to my soul, and still be able to go to the coronation. That'll be the deal. I'll still be your plus one. Okay.

Right. Webber. You're going to defeat the gris. I've got some gris. I said, I said, little to mean in your fence. But you know rules, I'll rule. These ask me instance, no, but I must not refuse. Gris, have you ever written a song before? I mean, Lord Weber's written a ton of them. How could it be? I know. That's a good point. I'll be honest.

We've heard what Lord, the Lloyd Weber has going on so far. Not great. He's only got one line. He's got one line. Let me just say Gris. That was a very specific instance. Gris, I'd be willing to be your second. Oh, wow.

So hot dog versus Andrew Lloyd Weber? In a songwriting contest? Who are you? Hotdog! Well, I'm not doing. Hotdog! Yeah, you must have seen him in some of the water you bit in. Why?

He waterskies. Legend of water squays. Let me get on the intake and look out. Oh you! Number five! All right, well you're gonna have to hear the entire episode to hear the climactic conclusion of the songwriting contest.

But... But... I forgot about the songwriting contest. But yeah, this is one of my favorites of the year. So much fun. So much fun to do. Just, and I mean, it's a two hour episode. It's just jam, I mean, we had trouble

figuring out the clips we're gonna use for It's just jam, I mean, we had trouble figuring out the clips we're gonna use for it, because just jam packed with hilarity. You can always ask me if you want, if you're having trouble with clips. How did those clips sound? Oh, I wasn't paying attention, but, Really? Because it was like 20 minutes.

Well, because I didn't pick them. Where were you, yeah, but we just listened to them. What were you doing during the 20 minutes? I just kind of shut down. Really? Yeah, I just kind of go away. Okay. Yeah. I wish you were listening to the clips, honestly.

Wow. Because they're so funny. I didn't pick the clips though. You want to pick the clips next year? Yeah. Honestly, I would rather you pick the clips than me having to do it for weeks. What if I did?

And it's just all clips that made me. Hahaha. Well, I mean, to be's just all clips of me? Hahaha. Well, I mean, to be honest, it wouldn't be that much different than the actual, what if I did the clips that I'm not in, I recreate them myself. I sure do all the voice. Do a rich little in the late shift. I do a rich little clumps.

Yes. All right, we're going to take, no, we're not. This is the end. This is the end of, we're gonna to take, no, we're not. This is the end. This is the end of the... We're gonna take a break from doing the episode. But before we go, and I hope, by the way, if you listen to part two and we said, okay, that's it, goodbye, and then you turned it off.

You missed just playing the snowman game because we realized we hadn't played the snowman game. Snowman game is legendary, it is a game where a little snowman sings a song. He's been around. He's been around. He's a little snowman sings a song. He's spent most exciting few moments in podcasting. If he ends his song and he spends around and looks at you, it is the most thrilling thing that's ever going to happen in your life. And it also means you'll have good luck all year long. Now so far, the so man has looked at Scott once and looked just over my left shoulder. We also have a listener chair. The chair represents the listener if he looks at the chair.

That means all the listeners will have a great 2024. And if he looks at Paul, Paul is going to have a great 2024. Yeah, which I, you know, I could use it. Yeah, there are two more chances. This year's over. Terrible. Yeah, and we're only one day into it. Yeah.

And we've only spent it together doing this. It's a disaster. All right. All right. So Paul's going to press the button. We're going to put the mic connects to him so we can hear him singing and spinning. This is so exciting. Let's do it. This is the snowman game for 2024. He's now looking over Paul's left side. He's now spinning around. Any winds up? Atholister chair.

Whoa. Okay. Let's see if we can keep this up. Spinning again. Looking directly at Paul. That means I'm not going to get it. You might, you might. Oh, over Paul's left shoulder.

Over my shoulder. Boulder holder. Holder holder. I hold in my heart because I did not win. That's right. Oh, I'm so sorry Paul. Well, thank you. But you know what?

That's the snowman game. That's the snowman game. There are no take backs. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's going to do it for part three. We will return on Thursday. Perhaps. We may return on Thursday for part four, where we may count down the top four

best episodes of the year. This is getting so exciting. So excited. We're going to go all the way to number one. That's right. We, there is no zero in the countdown. No, and there never will be. There never will be. Except for ten. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye!

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