Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Best of 2024 Part 4

Episode Date: January 2, 2025

Happy Best Of’s to all from Comedy Bang! Bang! Join Scott and Paul F. Tompkins as they countdown the top three best CBB episodes of 2024 as voted by YOU listeners. Plus, the exciting conclusion of the Snowman game. Thanks for tuning in! Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

I think it's Come and be my mine, come and be my mine. Wonelly. You think it sounds like Wonelly? I think it's Wonelly. I finally figured it out because in between the last episode and this episode, I was listening to my favorite artist, Nelly Furtado. Yeah. Nelly Furtado? Yeah, Nelly Furtado.

This is like hashtag wars all over again. Oh, I think wars all over again. Oh, hashtag wars all over again. Name your favorite artist as a food item. Nelly Frittata, taco. Don't even have to change the name. Jeff Double Decker. Jeff Decker. Jeff Beck. Oh Beck.

Good. The best are where you can't even figure out what the original source material was. Exactly. Oh my God. Hey, welcome to the best of Comedy Bang Bang 2024, part four. I also welcome you with open arms.

Yes, we'll take all comers. Give us your tired, your poor, your wretched huddled masses yearning to breathe free. But you know what, give us your like cool people and sexy ladies. Yeah. You know, like, let's make sure the majority is maybe that. I mean, obviously give us those, the other ones.

Yeah. But maybe throw in some like 10s, you know? Yes, perfect 10s. Welcome to, sorry, apologies for that. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. My name is Scott Ackerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. With me as always on these best of episodes

where we, by the end of the day, we have been driven insane by them, is a comedian of note. You've seen him on your television screens. You've seen him in the movie, There Will Be Blood. That's right. You've seen him in the movie, Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny, playing Dave Grohl as a baby.

Yeah. I think. Yeah. Please welcome Paul F. Tompkins. Hi, you left out? Jack Frost. Playing drunk in audience. Jack Frost.

Folks, he is doing the Jack Nicholson hair pull back. How does Jack Nicholson feel like he's like, hey, my voice is already enough. You don't have to make fun of the guy. Hair line. But that's part of Jack. He had that hairline for a long time. Yeah.

Yeah, that for a long time. What's funny is I remember seeing guys who had that same hairline still doing the hand on the head. It's like, you don't have to do that. You just point to your head. Yeah. It's just like Jack News does. What are we doing here?

Can I ask you a question before we establish what we're doing here? So there's Perfect 10 magazine, right? I guess, yeah. Does it still exist? Do they, probably not, right? But do they go, they should have magazines for all the numbers.

Yeah, like, you know, hey, you're not into maybe, like it's unattainable. I mean, here's some sixes. People are into what they're into. Yeah, exactly. Perfect Two magazine. Yeah. Perfect.

Oh, she's a perfect two. And what about imperfect tens? Yes. You know, I wanna see those. Yes, they're like, they're they're tens, but they've been, they've been like damaged in transit. And here's what I think all women are tens. They are! So that's why Perfect Ten Magazine, there aren't other numbers because all women are tens. My Perfect Ten Magazine is just

a magazine where you open it up and it's a dictionary definition of the word woman. My Perfect 10 magazine is you open it up and it's a picture of my wife. And everyone can buy it and everyone can see it. Guys, we're not usually like this. We've been driven insane. Not on mic.

We tape, not on mic. We like locker room talk. Of course, of course. After every episode, we hit the showers. We are, of course, this is our fourth, it's part four of these episodes. Paul and I tape these all day in one day. And we are driven insane by them.

And then we spend the rest of the year recuperating. The rest of the year. Yes. And we tape of the year recuperating. The rest of the year. Yes. And we tape all the year's episodes immediately preceding these episodes. It's Santa style, where... Open Santa style. Open Santa style.

It's like he is exhausted after Christmas, right? But then when does he start doing this shit again? When does he start? Like, because when does he have to wait for kids to send out their lists? Or does he anticipate things that they will probably want? There probably is. It's like the chain of demand.

It's like any toy supplier. You know what the big sellers year after year are, what your staples are. Stretch Armstrong. Of course, and nothing else. Tyco race car set. Nope, just Stretch Armstrong. So he gets started on Stretch Armstrong's

probably December 20th, cause he takes December 25th off. Well, yeah, cause he's done by then. Yeah, and so then December 26th, he goes, maybe he'll do a half day. When do you hate to be the fucking, the last stop on Santa's trip? Cause it's like 1159 on Christmas Eve.

It's like, am I not getting presents this year? Yeah. Yeah. This is really what I said, it doesn't make any sense. Cause the idea is to get them all, for all into the tree before Christmas day, which he does. Which he does, he's the best at it.

Yeah. Probably better at doing Santa shit than anyone else in the world. Oh, 100%. Yeah. 100%. There have been some people who've like, you know how UPS was like, oh, we'll do it better than the post office,

but you have to pay us more. Yeah. There have been Santa competitors. Yeah. Who've been like, I, we'll do it better than the post office, but you have to pay us more. Yeah. There have been Santa competitors. Yeah. Who've been like, I'll get presents to you quicker. That's right. You just got to pay me. Yeah.

And those people are all dead. Yeah. Because they didn't take into account. Santa's immortal. Yes. That's such a big part of it. It's a huge part of it. So they had a good run, I mean, of like 80 years,

but then they all died off. Yeah, that's right. And now who's got the last laugh? And also- And that laugh is a little like this, ho, ho, ho. What a shitty thing for Santa to show up and somebody's already put presents under the tree. Yeah.

And he's like, what the fuck? Why did it come all the way out here? Yeah. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. We agree. How come New Year's, remember at Rankin-Bass did Rudolph's shiny New Year and they were trying to get like a New Year thing going?

What? I don't remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they had the baby New Year. What did, I mean, okay, so Rudolph, he's tired from Christmas. Yeah. Then he's got to do another, so Rudolph, he's tired from Christmas. Yeah. Then he's gotta do another big adventure on New Year's?

Yeah, I can't remember what happened. I don't remember if they had to rescue the baby new year or something like that. Oh my God, this asshole. But it didn't really catch on. I don't remember it. I- There you go. I'd love to see it.

I would love for you to see it. If you have a copy of this and you see me on the street, just stop me and show it to me on your phone. If, okay, here's the thing. If you have a VHS copy of this, and you see, you happen to see one of us on the street. I hope you better have your VCR already. You can't, you can't just like,

like track us where we're gonna be. This has to be a natural occurrence. I will share my location with you, but you can't look at it. Yeah, same. Yeah. And this is, we're all in the honor system here. But what I'm suggesting is you have to have that copy,

the VHS copy of Rudolph Shining New Year on you at all times. All times. On the off chance. That you see us. Because we're talking about magic here. We're talking about Christmas magic, we're talking about New Year's magic. And so wouldn't it be magical if you had that VHS on you

and you happened to run into one of us? I promise we will watch the entire thing. No matter who we're with, no matter where we're going, no matter what our plans are. We will immediately stop. If we just bought a hot lasagna, who cares? Cool it down. If Scott and I went in on a hot lasagna, which we like to do.

We go halfsies, although for Paul, he only pays for a third of it, usually, because of the tip. He's like, oh yeah, we're going halfsies. He pays for half of the lasagna. Yeah. Leaves me with a tip. That's what we agreed to do. Tipping is not a law.

Oh my God. Okay. We were out to dinner recently with someone who picked up the check and this person left obviously a huge tip for the server. Because the guy came back to have a quiet conversation with our friends. A quiet like, thank you very, very much. I experienced this a couple of times where you just like, someone's so good that you leave 50 to 60% tip

or just a giant tip or whatever. The person kind of has to come back to make sure you haven't made a mistake. Yeah, absolutely. It's kind of a nice thing to do to be like, you may have made a mistake here. I did that, I did it one time and the person came back and asked, exactly asked me, is this on purpose?

Yeah. I was like, yes, it is. Yeah, so that's nice. But yeah, I really wondered how much it would be because first of all, we went out to dinner and the agreement between us all is that we're all gonna chip in for this dinner equally. And this person just pulled, just big-timed us.

Yeah. And was like- In a way that everyone was fine with. Yeah. And that's enough, like sure, then just leave the customary, you know, 25% or whatever you leave. I'm just realizing something. He was picking that checkup and left that gigantic tip as a way of apologizing to the server for us.

Yes. He was embarrassed of us. He was embarrassed by us, yeah. Oh, this makes me sick to my stomach. I hate him. This, who does he fucking think he is? Yeah, he's so much better than us. We're great.

Yeah, we're okay by ourselves. What we did at that table was fine. Have you ever done a thing where like, you've been out to dinner with a friend, this is especially like when I was young and had no money. Yes. And you go out to dinner with a friend, another friend who's young and has no money, you go half on it or you, or even back when you have no money, you decide

how much your share of it was, you know what I mean? And then you leave the table and you notice how much your friend has tipped and it sucks. That has happened to me. And then you have to go back to the table and put some more money in. Absolutely. Not be embarrassed. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Yeah. Because it's like they, they love doing that to me. Where are you getting these tips? Oh, you're the guy. Oh, that would be funny if I told you the old switcheroo, but yeah. It's going to say, how are you getting these tips? I'm saying I'm the first- Oh, you're the guy. Oh, I see. That would be funny if I told the old switcheroo. But yeah-

I was gonna say, how are you getting tips? I would love to get tips. Like after the show. Hey, guests on Comedy Bang Bang, give me a fiver on your way out the door. Yeah, not me though. It would be weird. Should we five tips you?

Should we pool our tips? You should know. We should pool our podcast tips at the end of the year. By the way, so many people came out to see us on the Comedy Bang Bang Tour this year. Would it have killed you to tip us on your way out? Yeah. Hey, I get if you don't want to spring for the VIP package.

I understand. But you can't slip me fucking five hours. Yeah, during the show, you can't just come up on stage and just like handed 20 to us? We gotta put out a snifter. We gotta put a snifter at the side of the stage. Yes, just at the side of the stage that people can come up.

By the way, we met someone at the LA show who said, who gave me a wrapped present. Oh yeah, what was it? He said, oh, you and Paul during, I think one of the best doves mentioned that during the tour, you wanted people to give you watches during the show. Yeah, that's right. And I said, what?

That's right. So he gave me a watch. Nice. So thank you, sir. Yeah, thank you. And also you pointed out that I also asked for that and I did not get a watch. Well, I mean, it seems like a one watch per show

kind of thing. I can split the watch with you. I'd love to, Casey and Kulab do that with a jacket. Do they really? Yeah, they share a jacket. That's adorable. That's adorable. And one of them will call each other and say,

hey, I need the jacket for this weekend. I love that. I love that. But I get the watch through Christmas. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. So you can talk to me in 2025, although we're in 2025 right now. It's January 2nd. So I'm talking to you, bitch. Give me that watch.

Oh, shit, he's got a gun. What are we doing here? We are counting down your top episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that you have voted on from 2025. That people voted on something. Jesus. Hey, look. What are you gonna do?

The world is what it is. What are you gonna do? The world is what it is. Hey, what are you gonna do? That's the country we have. But you guys voted for, what we did was we got giant computers and built the biggest website you've ever seen. And it had a list of every single episode that we put out this year. And then everyone was able to pick 10 of these episodes, their favorite 10, we have then taken all those votes, found the top 14 episodes today,

on this episode we're gonna hear the top three. Yeah, and I'm excited that we got all of this tabulated before we asked the big computer what is love. Yeah. And then it went crazy, smoke coming out, Ticker tape spitting out all over the place. And we didn't feed any ticker tape into it. No, where did they get the ticker tape?

I have no idea. I don't even know. Where does anyone buy ticker tape these days? During a parade, obviously they're passing it out. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But the top three, this is the creme de la creme. Ticker tape parade. It's like confetti was already a thing.

Yeah. So did somebody forget, like the first ticker tape parade, did somebody forget to buy the confetti? Oh shit, I forgot the confetti. Let's just use ticker tape. We have plenty of that. It's so popular. It's like long confetti.

What was it used for just in general? It was like a news device, they would like give you information. Printouts and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna look up the actual definite. Oh, guess what? Tickertape.com comes up, fuck off.

Tickertape.com? The first thing that comes up is, okay, it revolutionized financial markets. Thank you. Because you could transmit stock price over telegraph lines. See? Stock. You gonna buy some stock this year?

Oh yeah, I love it. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. I love to buy stonks. Mmm. Uh, anyway, we're gonna hear the creme de la creme. That means the cream of the cream, by the way.

The best of the best, the cocoa of Cocos. Pfft. And this is the top three. Plus. Mm-hmm.'re going to hear your choice. And when I say your, I mean, you, Paul, your choice for the top Don Cheadle clip in Ocean's 11. Right. And that covers if he's talking about Ocean's 11

in an interview or Ocean's 12. Sure. And I'm going to open it up to Ocean's 13. Okay. But I do prefer if it's a clip of someone coming up to Don Cheadle and saying how much something sucked. We'll try to find that. We've heard two so far. We are going to go out to Don Cheadle, who apparently has a rough time of it. And again, leave Don Cheadle alone. And again, hashtag Cheadle-y Needle.

Cheadle-y Needle. And he'll know what that means if he comes across it, which means we need him on Comedy Bang Bang this year. Aren't hashtags so helpful? When you see a hashtag and you click on it, and then it's just other shit with that hashtag, but nothing that says, here's what this means. I feel like we were close to Cheetal

when he was on Black Monday. Yeah. But we could never land it. Yeah, yeah. But Don, we need you. We were too scared to ask Paul Scheer to make it happen for us. Yeah, because Paul Scheer owes us each.

Yes. I think seven, he owes me seven favors. How many does he owe you? He owes me nine favors. And we've never cashed them in. No. We just keep accumulating them. It seemed ungentlemanly to cash them in. So, but we should have used one of them on Don Cheadle.

Do you think he has Cheadle's number? Oh yeah. Okay, so what if we said, well, the two of us will erase the favor board if you get Cheadle on this show. That's 16 favors. Are we sure we wanna cash these in just on Cheadle? if you get Sheetal on this show. That's 16 favors. Are we sure we want to cast his interest on Sheetal?

I want him bad. Sheetal we needle. We needle. Sheetal for needle for Sheetal. Sheer will go clear. It's Scientology wise. Because Sheetal we needle. So no more debts and you will be the Scientologist.

Yes, I like this. Oh, so it's two favors. It's give us on Tidal and become a Scientologist. Yes, we're also gonna be hearing the number one bit of behind the scenes trivia regarding the movie regarding Henry. Yeah, I'm excited. You're gonna love this one.

Plus we're gonna hear the climactic conclusion of the snowman game. Yeah, I'm excited. You're gonna love this one. Plus we're gonna hear the climactic conclusion of the snowman game. Yeah. This is gonna be the time of your life listening to all of this. And I envy you. I wish I could be the person hearing this instead of having to perform it.

Everyone gets to enjoy this but us. Well, we're hearing it now. That's true. Yeah. So we're hearing it before anyone else. That's a good point. We're better than you. Focus on that. Mm-hmm.

Now, obviously the first thing we have to do, Yeah. when you're talking about the numbers one, two and three, Yeah. you gotta get to number three first, right? Let's do it. You gotta do it, do it right now. You gotta do it, here it is.

Pull the bandaid off. Your choice for episode number three. Number three. All right, number three. This is episode 863. Dang, it's getting pretty high up there in the eight hundreds. Pretty high. Let me give you a date.

May 6th of 2024. May the sixth be with you. Yes. What happens at the beginning of May, Paul? Well, the flowers bloom. That's true. We usually take a weekend off to go smell them. We celebrate our glorious communist country.

We dance on the maypole. Of course, of course. We ask old people to jump off a cliff. We ask them. Yeah, it's always with consent. I beg them sometimes. Wow, because who wants to do it really? But, and that's it.

Well, there's one thing you forgot, Paul. What? Comedy Bang Bang started the first week of May of 2009. So this episode is the 15th anniversary show. That's gotta be it. It is it. Oh, I guessed it. Yeah, you didn't guess it.

I told him to. I can't believe I guessed it. All right, who do we have? We have Jason Manzoukas making another appearance. We have Paul F. Tompkins. We have Andy Daly. We have Lily Sullivan, Tim Balz, Sean Distin, Vic McAlice, Lisa Gilroy, and Will Hines.

All right, so we're gonna hear Jason Manzougas is my cohost, then Paul, you come in as original Fig. That's right, the liquor store owner. The liquor store owner himself. Then we have, and I mentioned that we were trying to get someone for the wet day episode. We have Andy Daly as Neptune. This happened a couple of weeks after the wet day episode.

Andy couldn't make the wet day episode, but really wanted to do Neptune again. Let me just explain Neptune. Andy did Neptune in an episode probably like 200 and something long time ago. And this is an underwater character from Atlantis or something. It's like kind of a Merman.

Yeah. And he does it, or at least he did it, you know, 10 years or so ago by having a glass of water in his mouth and gargling as he talks. Yes. And I remember people hated it. It was divisive. It was very divisive.

And it really makes me laugh that he waited another decade and decided to come back and now everyone loves it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the world caught up to Neptune. Yeah, that's beautiful. So we're gonna hear Andy Daly as Neptune, and then we're gonna hear a little bit of Lily

as Francesca Bollinese, the social media expert. We are gonna hear some more of Timbalt as Randy Snuts. Then we're gonna jump to Lisa Gilroy, who comes in as my Nana. And then we're gonna hear Will Hines as the bronze boogie boarder. Let's hear it. This is your choice for number three.

Number three. Before we get too far in the weeds about it, this is a very special show. You wanna know why? Tell me. It is the 15th anniversary episode. Wow. Wow, 15 years.

And it's crazy. You look great by the way. Thank you. When you started you were 45 look great, by the way. Thank you. When you started, you were 45. Sounds like you're teeing something up, okay. You were 45 when you started? You look fantastic for 60. Thank you so much.

You're not incredibly far off. That's why usually exaggeration works if you go really far, but look, 15 years ago, it was 2009, we started this show, and we're in our quinceanera. And yeah, we've all put on pretty dresses. And we're taking pictures by the fountain. I love this.

Well anyway, Jason, look, it's the 15th anniversary. Who knows who's gonna drop by? Well, I do know one person who's gonna stop by. You do have an open door policy. So anybody might join, or nobody, it might just be you and I. I don't believe you two have ever met before. He is the owner of a Gestemini Liquor and Scratcher. And please welcome back to the show, Original Fig.

Hey, Scott, thanks for having me. Hey, so good to have you. Jason, nice to meet you. Great to meet you. How you doing, guys? I'm good, yeah, 15 years. Have you ever done anything for 15 years? How long has Guesteminy Liquor been open? Oh, I took it over from my dad when he retired.

Oh, he did? What was it called then? It was called the same thing, yeah. Oh, because I thought you called it that because you're a big true crime fan? Yeah, I like it. The Bible is the original. It's my favorite true crime book. So you named it as a kid? I like it. And the Bible is the original. It's my favorite true crime book. Yeah. So you named it as a kid. I named it as a kid.

Oh. So even as a kid, that was your favorite book. I've been a true crime buff forever. I feel like I was the first one. Yeah. Well, those are some of the first crimes. Yeah, exactly. I mean, like a lot of crime-

Eating that apple? Is invented, yeah. Well, eating the apple makes us aware that some of these things are crimes. Shout out to Cain and Abel, first murder. Yeah. First, best to ever do it, I would say. I mean, to gain the knowledge between good and evil.

Cain, like invented the genre of murder. He did, yeah. Not even Satan did that. Like honestly, even Satan was like, whoa, dude. We wouldn't have Hannibal Lecter, but for Cain. Yeah. He is an underwater creature from the lost city of Atlantis. Please welcome back to the show, Neptune.

Thank you God. Happy birthday. Oh. It's wonderful to be here. I'm so excited to receive my invitation. I'm here as quickly as I could. Oh, as quickly as you could. You, cause you missed wet day by,

What? You missed wet day by over three weeks. What day am I out? Is it today? No, no, over three weeks. What? April 10th. April 10th. No, no, April 10th. What? We're in May already. Yeah.

Yeah. How long did it take you to get here? Yeah. I wonder if this is anything to do with climate change or daylight savings. The two things that can make someone late. I don't know, I'm just, I'm trying to help the guy out. He seems so distraught. Cut the little drift.

Oh yeah. Cut the little drift. Cut the little drift. Oh, the dateline. Oh, you must love dateline. Hold on, Neptune. Of course I love dateline. Oh, it's great, what?

Do you think you got Mandela affected? I don't know what that is. You should probably explain it to him. Do you know who Nelson Mandela is? Who? He's a land creature. I live in the city of landers. I am not familiar with the life of your surface life.

The best way to describe Nelson Mandela is he's a guy who lived on land. You start there and then zoom out. Oh, of course. But I wouldn't know much about it. OK, well, Neptune, it's great to have you back, regardless of if it's belated for wet day or not. Well, it's wonderful to be here. Well, it's wonderful to have you, Neptune.

I mean, last time you were here, you had come to warn us of an impending war between... And I am still warning you, ever, Scott. That's why I was looking forward to using the occasion of Wednesday to renew my warning to the people of my land. You have to renew a warning? Evidently. Like renewing your vows?

Well, yeah. I gotta ask Neptune, this war that is supposedly coming, over sea life and humanity, how are you guys gonna all survive up here? I mean, you haven't lasted 10 minutes without me throwing water on you. I know, the plan is not for the Sea Creators to invade the land. The plan is a coordinated attack when you're on your so-called boats. Okay, so when we're on like hovercrafts and

jet skis and stuff, you guys are going right to hovercraft. Yeah, hovercrafts and jet skis and stuff you guys are gonna. Right to hovercraft. Yeah, hovercrafts and jets? He said boats. Boats, sure. And you corrected it as hovercrafts and jets. I'm just imagining like the summer, this must be taking place in the summer. Neptune, Neptune, original Fig, Gethsemane, Garden and Scratcher.

Is it only people that are on boats or you have no plan to come on to land to do? That's plans I think you haven't even heard of. The killer whales have been attacking boats. They've been attacking the propellers and all. Oh, is that part of your thing or? I have been bending the killer whales for the years, don't. What do you ask me? What's your favorite pig out food? What's your guilty pleasure movie?

Stop trying to distract me. What's your guilty pleasure, maybe? Stop trying to distract me! What's your guilty pleasure Sunday after? The killer whales are attacking speedball! All right, well, we got to get to this plan, but before we do, we need to bring in our next guest. She is a social media manager who is here to give us tips about how to use our devices and how to tell us how to get rid of all these dings. But she's here to help us with all these with tips.

Please welcome Francesca Bonaise. Oh my God, every time with a fucking tip. I don't give a tip. You must have one tip though. Yeah, my tip is go kill yourself. Wow. Wow. KYS. Scott, are you gonna take that dip?

I don't. What have you been up to? For the listener who doesn't know who Francesca is, Francesca worked at Bed Bath and Beyond. Bed Bath and Beyond, they did it. In like customer service. Oh, oh, that's what it was. Well, I did a social media account for them,

but I didn't have to run the account. What I did is I responded to comment on the account. Let's say for example, I don't know, Instagram, for example. Sure. And then I go in the comment and they say, I went to bed but then beyond, I bought the refrigerator. I opened up the freezer. That's probably in Beyond.

Yeah. I don't think, I have never seen. My guess is. Maybe I haven't made it down to the basement it, but maybe it's covered in Beyond. Okay. I went to get back to Beyond, I bought a car. I bought a Hyundai Sonata. I buy a Kia, I open the door of the funky refrigerator, and inside I find a bunch of tiny little buns of hair.

Buns of hair? Tiny buns. Tiny buns of hair? Top knots cut off of people's ass heads. Oh. In the freezer. In the freezer? Whirr! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to be cold, but it's fine. But you ever read that Vonnegut book with ice nine and a cat's cradle?

No. I read a garbage Mr. Roadwar. Breakfast of champions? Slurr is fine. Welcome to the monkey house. That's it. All right, anyway, Francesca, so you would write to these people.

Yes, so I respond to comment like that and I say, okay, Braxton from New Jersey, I'm so sorry you buy a refrigerator with a bunch of top knot in the freezer. You find a hair, because you a piece of shit, why not take your family of four, go drive off a cliff in your kiosk or rental. So you would tell these customers that

and then they would retract their claim or? No, no. No, they would just feel bad about it. How do you find out what they drive? I go to their Instagram. I see the picture of the smiling family. Oh wow. On a vacation in fucking Hurricane Utah.

Where? Hurricane Utah? Hurricane Utah. Hurricane? Hurricane. Hurricane Utah. So you do like a deep dive on these people if they say, I found hair in something. Yes.

I find out where they live or where they work, how much money they make. Then you can do like a targeted roast. Yes, and I say, I'm so sorry, Daniel, for your job working in marketing at a fucking, where do I, let me think of a marketing place. Any place really, lots of places have marketing. Where could someone do marketing at? A broad spectrum of corporations.

Oh, got a spectrum. A spectrum. A spectrum is one of them. Marketing department of the spectrum. Okay. Okay. Our interest is peaked. Yeah.

Is it? Yes. Your mind are blown. My question for you, Francesca, is having now shared time with you multiple occasions. Yes. It seems like a lot of Bed Bath and Beyond products are finding, people are finding hair in them. Yes.

It's funny you know that. Is there an epidemic of... Now, how, where's that originating from? Yeah. Like where, what? You mentioned top knots. Yes, so those appear to be coming straight off of scalps. Yes. Such in top knots. And I, yes, so those appear to be coming straight off of scalps.

Yes. Yes. So it's not just like, oh, there's sweepings of hair from a barbershop. This seems like people are- Was it like a massacre of the cast of bunheads? Um, yes, well, you know, people think it is Mr. Beyond. Mr, wait, there's an actual Mr. Beyond?

Mr. Beyond. Yes, Mr. Beyond. What? Scary. CEO actual Mr. Beyond? Yes, Mr. Beyond. What? CEO of a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad of hair again coming, this could be true crime for you. I'm getting excited. The original Fig, you might be onto something. This could be a spin-off of, have you spun off a true crime podcast? No, we gotta do a CBB presents true crime podcast with original Fig. Hosted by the original Fig. I'm gonna hold you to that original Fig. We just made it happen right here.

Okay. I have a saltwater tapestry shop. I would think that would be very normal. I think the unique thing would be to have a saltwater taffy shop. I would think that would be very normal. I think that you could just call it a taffy. Did you say taffy or tuffy? That's a taffy. We probably should talk about that war. Francesca.

All right, look, we need to get to our next guest. Oh my god. Okay, fine, we can get to someone else, I guess. Yeah. He is, I first got to know this gentleman when he had a job replacing the ice in the urinals at my favorite restaurant, Damián's. Dodomio's. Dodomio's, sorry, yes. What did the pandemic do to your fucking brain?

I got mom brain right now. He had the long COVID for sure. The longest COVID. Billy Joel. Wait, but I'm sorry, it's called Daddy Omeos? Dadomeos. Dadomeos. Dadomeos.

It went out of business, because their takeout sucked. 2020 was hard for a lot of people. Yeah. Let's think back to it. What's that? Dida-doodios? No, Dodomeos.

Dodomeos. Is there something, am I mandelling my own mouth? Is it, is it D-a-dory-os? D-a-dory-os. Now I'm starting to get the impression that you guys are fucking with me. Oh no, we're sorry to do that. Sorry.

But let me welcome to the show, please welcome Randy Snuts. Oh nice, finally a welcome. Hi, Randy. Just seven minutes of shitting on my head. Just kidding, thanks for the welcome. I'm hungover right now. What's going on? Why are you hungover? From Twisted Fest.

Oh, you guys had Twisted Fest recently. I don't know when this episode claims to have been recorded, but... I'm confused about that, too. The canon for me is that it's being recorded on 420, and I'm very upset that you invited me here. I beg your pardon, Randy. I didn't mean to invite you on a day that was so precious to you. Yeah, because this is the people's Christmas.

Jesus rolled out of the tomb, took like 17 days, and then hooked back up with the apostles and lit the fattest spliffs. I did not read that part of the Bible. I mean, original Fig here is a Bible enthusiast. Yeah. A bibliophile? Hey, yeah, I never made that connection before. Yeah.

But I guess I'm a bibliophile. The original book. As a true crime aficionado, I feel like Jesus's trial was a kangaroo court. I feel like the charges were trumped up. Get him a new trial. And I think they executed an innocent man. That's what I've been saying.

He didn't even have time to appeal. No, there was no appeal process. I don't think he even had legal representation. He rode a donkey into town for Passover. Put him on the fucking cross. So you know Jesus. I know Jesus. Wait.

And you know above, did Jesus go to Atlantis? Did Jesus go underwater? He walked underwater, right though, Jesus? Was he too good for it? Oh yeah, if he walks underwater, does that mean you like him or you hate him? I don't like him at all. Like, come on in, man. See, we don't like him on wet day because he refused to get wet.

That's right. I don't like him either. You're on record not liking Jesus. I'm not a fan. I think it was intentionally provocative to ride that donkey around. When... He was asking for it, is what you meant. Can you please reopen the bathroom door? I need easy access to the faucet. Okay, yeah. No problem.

I need to stay wet. Neptune, is it possible you could go back home like through the toilet? Oh yeah, I can. There has to be a hole. But yes, I can. In the toilet? At the bottom of the toilet, there needs to be a hole.

I don't know if that's standard. No, that we, yeah. I think it is. Okay, good. That's all I mean, and then I can get to the ocean, and that's one of the problems your suing system leads to our habitat. You must stop polluting the ocean. You're probably shitting in your own ocean. Yeah, but that's different. Hey, do you ever see anything of those big albino alligators down there?

No, I don't. I don't know. Ocean. No, in the sewer. This is all I'd say. What do you mean? Like on the dumb way. Hey, you guys, you guys are a good duo.

I would I would listen to this. I would listen to this podcast of the two of you trying to solve underwater true crime. Do you want to guess all my true crime podcast? Yeah, absolutely. Just completely. Okay, the first thing is we're going to investigate the Bed, Bath & Beyond mysteries. Mr. Beyond is to blame. Who is this shadowy figure?

I introduce you to him. I make a connection, you know. A connection is made. Thanks, Elastica. Who is this shadowy figure? I introduce you to him. I make a connection, you know? A connection is made. Thanks, Elastica. If Francesca is on the show, you might have to modulate her voice if she wants to be anonymous. Yeah, that's true.

Oh, yeah. It's very special. It's a 15th anniversary show, and it's very special to me to be doing something this long. So I wanted to invite someone who is very special to me. Please welcome my Nana. Hello Scott! Happy birthday! I'm finally 15. I didn't think you'd make it. Ah, Nana. The show is 15. I'm a little bit older than you. Happy birthday Scott. It's not my birthday. Thank birthday Scott. Thank you very much.

Wonderful to have you now. Now that you're finally 15, I can tell you a few things, boy. Oh, gee, okay. What do you want to tell me? Hopefully I don't know any of it. Well, your mother made me promise I wouldn't tell you until you turn 15. Oh, okay. Happy birthday, Scott.

Sure. All right. But yeah, tell me. What do you have? Okay, well, have you ever wondered why your crotch hurts all the time? Hmm. I guess, yeah, sure.

Something, well, it's Nana's secret. You were in a moto-scootoo accident. A moto-scootoo accident? A moto-scootoo? A moto-scootoo? I said what I said. Bitch. Oh, bitch.

Whoa, whoa. Nana's very salty when she gets like this. He was in a moto scooter after this, but he was just a baby. And all of you at his birthday party with the gall to laugh at him. He walks around with a throbbing ache in between his legs from the moto scootoo.

That is by the way why we named you moto scootoo. I think my name's Scott actually. Did you shorten it or? Happy birthday Scott. Happy birthday. Nana, where are you from dear? I'm from, well, I'm from, I'm a mixed kind of a, I guess, what's it England?

Right Scott? Yeah, I guess, what's it, England? Right, Scott? Yeah, I mean, yeah. You think you have a lovely speaking voice. There's a bit of a lilt to it, you know? Yes, I'm from the greater European continent. You're from the continent? Yeah. Oh, okay, yeah, that big one.

The greater European continent. That's why. Not the lesser European continent. Of course why. Not the lesser European continent. Of course not. Was there anything else you wanted to tell me on my 15th birthday or was that it? Why did you feel like it was that important to tell him about his painful crotch?

We wanted to wait until he was 15 so as not to, you know, bottle up his brain. But now that you know the truth. Thank you. It's also, you know, it's time for 15 year olds gonna start having sex soon. Do you know what sex is, Scootoo? I have an okay idea of it.

He has no fucking idea what sex is. Say what you think it is. Come on, be cool. I tell you something, he needs help. I think it's when a man and a... Oh my God. Oh. Oh. Bzz Oh, oh, oh. Bzz, bzz, bzz, bzz, bzz.

Scott's short-circuiting. Smoke is coming up Scott's ears. Ticker tape coming out of his mouth. Human beings. There you go. Well, we have to get to our next guest. He is, well, there's no other way to put it. He's a traveler.

Welcome, a traveler. Behold, behold, panelists, tis I, the bronze boogie border, a galactic traveler who has abandoned his responsibilities and needs a place to crash. We turned you down. You can talk right into the mic if you like. You turned me down? Okay, good.

Wait a minute, the brawn will be born? Behold, a lot of headphones came off the ears. My apologies. Where are you traveling from? I'm traveling from the farthest reaches of space. I was the servant of a world eating entity, and I abandoned my post. What's that mean?

Well, I'm trying to judge the quickest way. Abandoned my post? Abandoned my post. No, that I got. You got that part, oh, okay. What's a world? Yeah, it means I had responsibilities. No, no, no, I got that.

You got that part. I mean, a world eating entity. What does that mean? A world eating entity. A giant genderless creature. Genderless? Well, well, actually, I never thought about it until this moment, but I- Did you ever see it having sex with anything?

No, no, I never did. But sex is not a great gender, so I'm wondering, did you ask? Well, you know, I'm just realizing now it was a humanoid creature of indeterminate gender. But your second descriptive word was genderless. That was number two. I was high on the call sheet. I've never described him that way, but I was... Yeah, I wouldn't describe anyone that way either.

Well, that's not what I mean. I was going to say giant humanoid man, right? But then I was summoning my image of it and realized, well, it's not really male presenting. Does it have a codpiece or anything like that? Yes. Stop distracting him. The thing he's describing eats worms.

Well, that's what I wanna ask about. Yes. So this creature. Entity, yes. Sorry, entity. Sure. Is giant. Just because it doesn't have gender, we don't have to call it a creature. The creature's not pejorative, I don't think.

Okay, all right. Wow, we're really hung up on this. It's big enough to eat worlds? Yes. You mean like planets? Correct. So did it come from a gigantic planet itself? Its origin is unknown to me.

What about Uranus? Oh, I love it. I love it. All right, do you and this creature ever make jokes like that? No. I wish we did. It's a very cold, well, it was a very cold

and business-like relationship. My job was to scout planets for it to devour. Oh, okay. That's not good. What are you doing here, if you don't mind? So I quit. Oh, you quit? Oh, so you're not scouting for him.

After how long? Oh, a couple millennia. I went at it for quite, 2000 years. That's a long time. I know, I know. Not really a couple millennia. How did you quit? Was it like a, I guess it.

How long ago did you quit? I call it the willenium. Earlier today. I gotta tell you what's up that you sound like a bad person What are you saying? 2,000 years you scouted out planets for this guy to eat how often was he thousand years safe? Maybe I shouldn't do this anymore. How often was he eating like three times a day like us humans do no No, no, not that often. How often could he go on a planet? Twice a week. Twice a week? Twice a week.

For 2,000 years? Yeah, give or take. How long is a week in the, where he lives? I don't know, I don't know how to answer that. Two days? But I'm fond of the people of this planet. I find that- You've been here before? Oh yes.

Scouting? Scouting it, yes, yes. Come on, bro. I'm sorry, I people of this planet. I find that- You've been here before? Oh yes. Scouting? Scouting it, yes, yes. Come on, bro. I'm sorry, I know it's not cool. Wait a minute, this is just what we need. To unite land dwellers and sea creatures against a common foe. This is like the end of Watchmen.

You think we should attack him? Wait, wait, what are you hinting at? Huh? Slow down, active boy. This is our common enemy, this guy? No. So wait. That's you.

No, I quit earlier today, like six hours ago. That's exactly what the person who was here to bring about destruction would say. Oh, come on. Don't start playing that game. I bet you do this all the time. You're scouting right now, aren't you? I mean, I can't help it.

I'm on autopilot a little bit with scouting, but I don't do it officially. What's the criteria you're looking for? You know, you got a lot of flesh walking around. Oh, this is a- Oh, this motherfucker. This guy's a fucking creep. You don't know. No, I- This guy's a perv.

He's just coming to check out our flesh. That's not- And then let someone else eat us. So, okay. This is a child's birthday party. All right, number three. Number three. All right, number three. This was fun. This was a fun one. This was really, really fun.

I believe we're making Dread Zeppelin references that don't yet make sense. Oh, is that true? Yes, I mean, they made sense in the chronology of time, but they don't make sense. If you have not heard any of these episodes, you don't know why we're talking about Dread Zeppelin. Oh, I see, Yes, that's true.

But also, Paul, Original Fig, and I don't know whether we heard it in this clip, but Original Fig and Andy Daly as Neptune agree to be on a true crime, Original Fig has a true crime podcast. No, he's a true crime buff. Yes, but we agree that you were gonna have a podcast. Yes, that he and Neptune would do a true crime podcast. No, he's a true crime buff. Yes, but we agreed that you were gonna have a podcast. Yes, that he and Neptuno would do a true crime podcast,

investigating something with Costco. Well, it was going to be about the, was it gonna be about the Bible? I can't, we just heard this clip, so I can't remember. But in any case, yes. So we tried to schedule this once and everyone had too much shit going on. That's right.

And we never tried again. But we'll get there. Never say never. We'll get there. By the way, I meant to say when Carl was doing Litherio Lewis, we agreed to maybe do a, Scott hasn't seen about the movie Hitch together.

Because neither of us have seen it. So we gotta make that happen as well. Yeah, you do. Yes, of course we do. You must. Yeah, that was a fun episode. Everyone ganged up on Will. It was really, I mean, I'm of two minds on that

because I want Will to do his thing, but it is fun when he introduces a character that's based on the Silver Surfer and he explains like, yeah, it was my job to go around and find suitable planets for him to destroy and to say, hey, like, hey, that's fucked up. That's terrible. What a terrible thing to do. Yeah, you're akin to, it's genocide hey, that's fucked up. That's terrible. What a terrible thing to do. Yeah, you're akin to, it's genocide. You're akin to Hitler.

It becomes funny to hear the silver tongue justify it. Yeah, it's like, well, I had to do it because of my planet. And it's like, well, so your planet is so much better than mine. It was really, I don't know. It's funny. It was very funny. I think Will is, I believe Will is okay with that. Like he expects it to happen and he's fine with it,

but it does, it does, it weirdly does feel a little like bullying. It's as close as you can get to bullying when you're an improv person. Yeah. And you're the person usually being bullied. Yeah, yeah. It's like a bullying simulator.

Yes. That you can. Will obviously enjoyed it because he brought the bronze boogie border back on tour in St. Louis and he got the bright idea. First of all, I think we were so hungry during that show. We asked, someone brought up a pizza and we asked what the best pizza was in St. Louis

and someone shouted out a place and we immediately ordered it and said, whenever it comes out on stage, just bring it out on stage, we'll eat in front of everyone. Will got the pizza and he had the bright idea of simulating his bronze boogie border using one of these pallets

with like the little roller wheels on it and was being pushed out on this while holding pizza. And I believe immediately toppled over. Immediately, yes. We got it on video. It looked great. He's standing very nobly on this dolly and holding the pizzas in front of him

a sort of gesture of offering. And then stopped short, I think. Or maybe hits a bump on the stage or something. The fan goes right down, the pizzas fall down. Waboosh. Waboosh. Also, because Will was waiting to be introduced, we could smell the pizza on stage.

We were going crazy. I thought it was like being a dog. It was like being a dog. It was like being a dog. So that was an interesting evening. We were like, just bring it out, but we'll want to come out with it in this big entrance, which even. Then we were told pretty immediately after the show

that that was not the best pizza in town. This is a place that everybody knows. People were like, oh yeah, that pizza's not good. But we passed out a pizza to the audience. We watched it go around, people taking not good. But we passed out a pizza to the audience and we watched it go around. People taking a slice. Yeah, there was one pizza and there were probably 800 people at that show

or something and everyone was respectful. It was like the miracle of the loaves, the fishes. It truly was. And our Lord Jesus Christ fed the masses with a miracle. Enough of Jesus, it's 2025. No more Jesus in 2025? No more Jesus, I don't want to hear about this guy anymore. Yeah, honestly, let's try it.

One year. Let's just try. One year everyone agrees never to bring him up. See how different the world could be. I tell you what, if it's worse, absolutely. From here on out, plenty of Jesus. Something's gonna happen this year, which is gonna make it worse naturally.

Huh. Huh. I guess we'll see. Well, that was a really fun episode. Thanks to everyone involved. It's always great to do those big gang episodes. True that. We're gonna take a break.

When we come back- I know I am. Yeah, everyone is. Oh- I know I am. Yeah, everyone is. Oh, I know I am. When we come back, we're gonna crack the top two. Shit. The best. The best of the best. Plus we're gonna have the number one Don Cheadle clip

from Ocean's 11 or talking about Ocean's 11. Or 12 or 13. Or 12 or 13. And we're gonna hear the number one regarding Henry Fax. There's so much in this show. We have the snowman game. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang best of 2024 part four after this.

Exciting. No, no, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang best of 2024 part four. You said it. And before we get to what you've chosen as episode number two,

we gotta get to, oh, gotta get this clip. Gotta hear this Cheetal clip. Now, Don Cheetal is an American actor. He's been in a number of films, including the Oceans series of films. Yes. Oceans 11, Oceans 12, Oceans 13. Yes. I don't think he makes an appearance in Oceans series of films. Yes. Oceans 11, Oceans 12, Oceans 13. Yes.

I don't think he makes an appearance in Oceans 8. I don't think to any of them. Clooney does, I think, right? Is Clooney in it? Does he do a little cameo? I guess probably he does. Is Sandra Bullock his Clooney's sister? I think, yeah.

And they're both con artists? Yeah. Can that happen in a family? And they don't work together? They're just like separate solo con artists? Yeah, you think they'd be all like a team act. Yeah. Like, oh, we're, yeah, I don't know.

Hey, who knows? I mean, it's a lot like regarding Henry. Is that possible? Who knows? Or is it like a sitcom? I think it's possible to get shot in the head and be different. Yeah.

Have a fucked up head. All right, let's hear it. This is your number one clip of Don Cheadle. What? ["Movie Talk"] ["Movie Talk"] ["Movie Talk"] ["Movie Talk"]

["Movie Talk"] ["Movie Talk"] ["Movie Talk"] ["Movie Talk"] Movie Talk. If you want to show, Movie Talk isn't good enough. As a title.

Welcome to Movie Talk, our weekly show about movies, the people who star in them, and the people who create them. This is Peter Bart. I could not be happier, that's what he sounds like. There are two Don Cheadles. There's the champion jokester and Bon Vivant, who starred in the Ocean Eleven series, and Talk To Me. I ain't that crazy. There's the champion jokester and bon vivant who starred in the Ocean 11 series and talked to me.

I ain't that crazy. And then there's the crusading social activist who made Crash and who tell Rwanda and who serves as UN Goodwill Ambassador. Here's what you and I need to do. We need to go out. Let's go out and rage, man. In his new series titled House of Lies, he plays a down to the manipulator who exploits both women and business

colleagues happily both Don Cheadle's are with us today actors are proverbially worried about getting typecast but there's no way you can accuse anybody of typecast you're all over the map in terms of the characters you play yeah I am I'm glad about that, you know. I'm hearing a lot of Ocean's talk. When I graduated high school, I went to California and studied there for four years. Don Cheadle interview about Ocean 11 and Hotel Rwanda. And does it say Ocean 11? Thank God.

We do an avant-garde mask play and then we do, you know, like that. Come on, Cheadle. We had the opportunity to play a lot play and then we do, you know, bets. Come on, Cheetal. So we had the opportunity to play a lot of different things and to explore a lot of different characters. Oh wait. I can skip ahead to a part about it. Well you have. Skip ahead.

Do a part about it. Okay. And weeks later he was able to put the financing together with me in the lead, so thankfully I worked it out. Please get some more time. Okay, this is about Hotel Rwanda. I'm not sure why I skipped ahead to something called Financing Ocean 11. And it's about financing Hotel Rwanda?

What the hell? Peter Park, get your fucking act together, dude. I can't find the gold. What happened to you? Tell your mom. What happened to you? All right. And that's it? That's your number one clip?

That's your number one clip. Hey, I didn't vote for it. Number one clips are number one clips. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. Now, speaking of clips, we have to get to your choice. We have to. For the number two clip of Comedy Bang Bang this year,

this is your number two. Number two. All right. This is, we've been pretty high up in the 800s, haven't we? Yeah. Living high on the 800s, as they say. This, however, is episode 845.

That's so close to smack dab in the middle of the 800s. So close and yet so far away. This is from January 15th of this year. That's a million years ago. So long ago, but- Last year. Yeah, last year. Oh, that's right.

Oh, I got it. Yeah, so almost a full calendar year ago. And- Chow, chow, chow, chow. Yes, and this is an episode called So New York. Oh, yes. Now the participants are, we have the actor and funny man, Jake Johnson. I remember when people would be called actor and funny man.

Yeah. I enjoyed that. Bring it back. Yeah, bring it back. Call us funny men or funny women. Jake Johnson, you know him from the new girl or new girl. We couldn't quite figure out what it was called during the episode. He didn't even know if it was called new girl from the new girl or new girl, we couldn't quite figure out what it was called during the episode. He didn't even know if it was called new girl

or the new girl. He kind of like sort of said, oh, it's just new girl. And then he said, wait, maybe I don't even know. I still can't figure it out. I don't know what it was called. Because they both seem right to me. Yeah, they both, it either seems possible. Also, let's be cops.

Let's be cops. He also varied Jermaine to this episode. So be cops. He also very germane to this episode. So let me give a little bit of background about this episode. Okay, germane. Jake had never been on the podcast before. This is his first appearance. He'd been on the TV show in a very funny episode. And he's not someone that I run into all that much.

So I'd never had the opportunity to ask him to be on the podcast. I don't run into him that much except when I was at a hotel this Memorial Day and I was sitting on the beach and I got a tap on the shoulder. He's like, hey, what's going on? Tap on the shoulder on the beach.

Yes, it's terrifying. But he had never been on the show before. He's very, very funny, just like a naturally funny guy, a lot like Jason Manzoukas in a way, just very, very funny, took to the podcast really well. Like a duck to water. That's right, but one behind the scenes part of it, which comes into the scenes is,

when you have a certain type of actor or performer on the show, you're going through publicists quite a bit to schedule it, to figure out details about it. This is part of the checks and balances of showbiz. That's right. They don't want you just to run wild with having people on your podcast. Because where does it end? Yes, you become a podcast guy.

So Jake's publicists, there were so many conversations about this episode and what was gonna happen during it and when it was gonna come out. And he was promoting his movie, which came out the week that this episode came out. And that was all fine. Like he was there to promote the movie, which came out the week that this episode came out. And that was all fine. Like he was there to promote the movie, but the publicist or, or the, no, the, the, the publicist got a hold of Sony because Jake also plays one of this.

He plays Peter Parker in the Beyond the Spider-Verse movies. Sony knew he was coming on the show and said, hey, if you talk about the Spider-Verse movie, which at that point had been out for eight months or so, if you talk about the Spider-Verse movie, we'll send you a box full of Spider-Man merchandise. Sure. Or it wasn't even like a quid pro quo.

It was purely a, hey- They said they would give you the box? Yes. Yes. It was purely a, hey. They would give you the box? Yes. Yes. It was more like, hey, will you make sure to talk about the Spider-Man movie? Right. And by the way, here's a box of Spider-Man merchandise.

So it wasn't a quid pro quo necessarily. I would never engage in that kind of thing. Sorry, Clarice. But so I agreed and got this, I have a Spider-Man pen that I use over there and gave most of it away to my sister who's a pediatric nurse to give to the kids. And so it was like a giant box into the Spider-Verse stuff,

which was very nice. And so Jake came on and was baffled as to why I was bringing up Spider-Man. And was like, why are we talking about Spider-Man? Like he wasn't there to promote it. No one had ever asked him, hey, will you bring up Spider-Man? It was just something that I was told to do, which then led to what you're going to hear.

We have Jake is there, we also have Paul F. Tompkins is there. You are later in these clips playing Alamoni Tony. We also have Lily Sullivan, who had come to be Bridget Jones, a character that she does based on the movie, Bridget Jones's Diary. We're not gonna hear those clips.

We're gonna hear what ends up happening before that. Let's just hear it. This is your choice for episode number two. Number two. But, Spider-Man Across the Spider-Verse, if you want to see the end of the story, you gotta pay for two movies. No, you have to pay for one.

You've already seen the first half. Well, you don't have to pay. You haven't seen the first half. Okay, but. I was told you wanna promote this first one. Yes. Why? If it's been out for, I guess it's in the,

they tell me it's in the window, the home video window. Oh, that's for real. I'm supposed to promote this first one. Well, I mean, I'm supposed to bring it up. They promised me it's in the window, the home video window. Oh, that's for real. I'm supposed to promote this. Yes, well, I mean, I'm supposed to bring it up. Whoa. They promised me Spider-Man merch if I talk about it. Yeah. And I said, well, I probably have all the merch,

but I'll sell it on eBay. I don't know what I would promote for that besides it's out. It's out in home video now. But it's been on home video. I know, but I was told to talk about it. Oh. Take this up with your people So movies called I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Who's this?

I'm Maribel and I'm Jake's publicist. I do sorry Maribel. I I didn't see you in the corner there How long have you been there? Oh, I've been here for quite a while. Oh, yes. I thanks for coming. Of course You know, I'm always looking out for you. No, thank you Yes. Oh, I... Thanks for coming. Of course. Jay, you know, I'm always looking out for you. I know. Thank you.

The reason we're promoting it is to put it back in people's minds for when the second half comes out. I see. Okay. So you want to remind everyone that it exists. It exists. Did Sony tell you that, Maribel? Or are you just going off the jack here? Sony actually told me this was dumb. And I said... Oh said this is your call. Because you're my client. Never mind. I'm sorry. Thank you. Yes. And so what was the conversation

with Sony? I said I called. Okay. I called up Sony and I said you called Sony. Yes. Yeah. Also, by the way, thank you for calling Sony. Of course. For presenting me. I have a weekly call with them. You do? Yes. Who at Sony? Everybody. But specifically.

Okay, it's Tony, it's Rob. Tony Sony? Tony Sony, the whole Sony family. I heard my name. Tony, what are you doing here? Well, I thought I'd come by. I just wanted to make sure, you know, you were doing a good job.

What an honor. Thank you very much. Okay, well, you know what? I'm glad you're here, Tony. Yeah. Because let's settle this right now. And you guys be the judge while you can't. Scott, you have to be judged. OK, because you're impartial.

Well, don't be. I'm not impartial. You said executioner. I like that. It's not my word. All right. So is it, as Tony says, dumb to promote a movie that's been out for years? It's been out for years. How long has it been out? It's been out for what? Three years?

Four years? No, no, Tony. Your movie, I would say, I think it was the summer. Nine months or so. Feels like it. Maybe May. Feels longer. In show business terms, that's years.

Yeah, that's true. By the way, it is. In actress terms? By the way. In show business terms, that's years. Yeah, that's true. That's by the way, it is. In actress terms. By the way. That's, you don't work anymore. Exactly. Invisible. You're dead, you're done.

You're dead, you're done. In six months. We agree on that. In six months, you're dead. In six months, you're dead, you're done, you're cooked. That's what I always say. Tony seems to be different. Now you seem to be a publicist too, Tony.

Maribel, can I say you have the deepest voice and Tony, you have the highest voice. And also Tony feels like a manager in New York in the early 80s. You're done, honey. You got nothing, kiddo. Hey, get the hell out of here. You can't dance, you can't sing, you got nothing, big nose. Tony, how did you start in this business? Well, I worked my way up at the pizza place. Wait, Sony started as a pizza place?

Sony was originally a pizzeria. I started making the dough, making the pies. Get the hell out of here. It was So New York. It was the So New York pizza place. So New York, Sony, yes. Oh, nice. I understand.

So what's the deal with the New York pizzas? Is it the water? It is the water. It is the water. It is the water. We piss the water. It is the water. We piss in the water. You piss in the water in New York? That's how we do it in these.

At what era was this? When you were making these pizzas pre-Sony start? Beautiful 82. Oh, 92, 82. Beautiful 82. I didn't, I thought Sony was like one of our oldest studios. I thought so too. It actually started as a pizza place in the 80s?

Oh wait, you're talking about the movie studio. Wait, are you not part? Oh, you're talking about the movie studio. Wait, are you not part? Oh, you're talking about the movie? I don't call the movie studio on a weekly basis. That's insane. Wait, you just call this pizza place So New York every week? Yeah.

Why? To talk to my friend Tony Sony. Yeah, yeah. And represent me, and I appreciate you both. You're welcome, of course. Is Maribel just mispronouncing your name? Is your name Tony So New York? Yeah.

But we're friends. Forget about it. All right. There's your proof. Tony's New York. True New York. All right, we'll forget about it. Please welcome back to the show Alamoni Tony.

Hello, Scott. Hello, Jake. Nice to meet you. Great to meet you too, Tony. My name is Tony Jacarone. Better known as Alamoni Tony. Big fan Tony. Thank you very much. Of my song parodies? Yes. Really? That's so interesting because Fred Guinness was on the show recently and was saying that- The records guy. He's also a song parodist. I don't know if you know this. What? No. Oh, you're talking about the Brad Garrett guy? He loves Brad Garrett and he happens to be a song parodist, not a song garret.

But he also runs the Guinness Book of World Records. And that's his main gig. But he was telling me, he was throwing shade at you. He was saying that your videos only have one view and that's your own view. That is true. And you won't even watch a second time to get a second view. That is because I can't, I can't stand that. Your voice?

The, no, the embarrassment of adding another view and it's me again. Right. Do you know what I mean? But no one knows this. I know it. Okay. That's it's, it's a, it's a private little hell, but it's fine. So Jake, how, how would you even know about, uh, alimony Tony's song parody?

Word on the streets. Oh, word on the street. So I listened to a bootleg of it. Oh, similar to the Japanese. Somebody, I just remember being in a van. I was younger, very stoned and someone said, this guy's the best. I think it was like cassette. Oh wow.

My street team is working. Yeah. This is great. But so I wouldn't have registered on any clicks or anything. This was pre internet, I feel. Yes. That's how I started. Yeah. And, uh, and I've decided to have registered on any clicks or anything, this was pre-internet, I feel. Yes, that's how I started. And I've decided to bring that back, and I've got a team of kids going out there,

and they're distributing cassettes, and they are of course spray painting stencils on the sidewalk. We're the body of the world, Jodie. Okay, wow, so the word's getting out. The word is getting out. I think the word's spreading, don't you? I mean, I know who you are,

you've been on the show several times, but I don't know that I've seen evidence of that. My first the word's spreading, don't you? I mean, I know who you are. You've been on the show several times, but I don't know that I've seen evidence of that. Oh, of course. My first appearance, of course, was... Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And many times. Primarily you're known for being a person who has gotten married and divorced multiple times. Yes. How many times are we up to now? Well, since the last time we've seen each other, Scott, it's probably the early 60s.

You're in your, wow, your early 60s. Trying to get that up to 69, what do you say about that? Well, I hope that doesn't happen. I mean, you know, the thing is- You always, yes. Of course, I always marry for love. I always think it's gonna work out. I always give it my all, but it just doesn't happen. I mean, you know, the thing is, of course, I always marry for love. I always think it's gonna work out. I always give it my all,

but it just doesn't work out sometimes. It doesn't, but the one thing about you is, the one silver lining on this cloud is you love paying alimony. I love paying alimony. Ooh, it gives me such a rush. Now, again, I do not get married just so I can get divorced to pay alimony. I married for love, but I do love paying alimony. Oh, I love writing those checks Wow

So now you're paying I don't know that you're paying over 60 people alimony because of course some get remarried some pass away I still send them the alimony though to their gravesite In lieu of flowers, I will be said to movie. To the survivors. Oh, yeah. To the survivors, really? You're not legally obligated to do this? No, I'm not, but I just, well, I love being Alan Moody, but also, of course, I've remained on friendly terms with every single ex-wife that I've had.

That's right. They love him. That's nice. Yeah, it is. Some refuse the Alan Moody. They don't want it. They say, Tony, it just didn't work out. No hard feelings. Nobody's at fault here. But I still sent them the check.

And sometimes they sent it back. Sometimes they sent it back ripped up. Sometimes they sent it back with like a funny little message on it, like, nice try. Things like that. Any kids? Yeah, do you have kids? I don't know.

No, no kids. I am, as they say, barren. Oh, you. Yes. Oh. I'm so sorry. I don't know if that's come up before. I have, I don't think it has.

I have what is called no motility. No, I'm so sorry. I don't know if that's come up. I have it. I don't think it has. I have a, what is called a no motility. No. Oh really? So there's everything's dead in there. It's just dead. So they're all in there. They're all in there floating around.

So, so can you expel them? Well, I mean, yes. I mean, there is, there is a way to do that. Okay. So I don't know how far you got in school. I just want to make sure that these aren't like a sperm or multiple decades old. I'm kind of with you, Scott.

It seems like they might just be living in there. No, I've had sex. Okay, good, good. With all the women? With all the women. Oh, number one. What happened? There was one who was asexual.

I married an asexual lady. Oh, and did you know that going in? I did know that going in. And I said, well, make it work. Well, we did make it work because then she started wanting sex, but not for me. How long did that one last? That one lasted five weeks. I think we'd still be together today,

but she got struck by lightning and completely changed her personality. Oh, really? Yes. Did we talk about this in a previous episode? I don't think so. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think you would remember, Scott, no?

I'm remembering some sort of struck by lightning person. Oh yeah, the four years. I don't remember. You're remembering some sort of struck by lightning person. It's been almost 15 years at this point. How many years? It's fun to do that. Who's the, do you mind if I ask who the love of your life is?

Are you currently married or are you current? I know you're- I am currently divorced. I'm so sorry. It just was finalized yesterday, so I'm gonna be probably, you know, alone for a little while. I'm so, so sorry. Who is this person? Her name is Gretchen. Gretchen. And we met in an airport lounge. Oh, really? Yes. Okay. A private lounge or was it- Extremely private lounge. How private are we talking? It's not visible to people in the airport.

Oh, okay. Yeah. You have to know where to look. Oh, all right. And how many people were in this if it was that private? There was three of us. Just three of you? Yes.

Me, Gretchen, and Captain Sully Sullivan. The hero of Hudson. I've had him on this show. He saved so many souls that one day. So many souls. So what- Gretchen. Gretchen, I'm so sorry.

So you got together at the airport lounge. Yes, on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve, how romantic. So this is just recent. It felt like a romantic comedy. Was anything funny happening? Oh, I guess not. So it just, but it felt like a romance. It felt like the romance part of the romantic comedy, which is not funny.

No, no, but the best part of a rom-com, I would say. What is the most laugh out loud romantic comedy, would you say? Where you just, you're busting a gut. Busting a gut. I don't know, Jake, you've been in your share of rom-coms, haven't you? You've been in a rom-com with Cher? A bunch of them. This is exciting!

We've been in a trilogy. We're filming the third one right now. Really? Yeah, it's been really fun. She a good kisser? Yeah, she's wonderful. A rom-com trilogy? Yeah, she's a great actor, she's been a lot of fun.

Absolutely. She's got a wonderful voice, I don't know if you know that, but she's a singer. She's a singer as well? She dances and her fashion is through the roof. I'd really love to marry her. It's gonna be on Hulu too. God, I wish you could meet Cher because then-

I'd love to meet her. Guys, guys. Cher's in my car. She's in your car? She's in your car? That sounds wrong. It does. She doesn't have a car.

Are the windows down? No, I've got a Tesla. I got the out of the dog thing. Hot enough to ride the side walk? Hot enough to ride Cher's brain. She doesn't have a car. Are the windows down? No, I've got a Tesla, I got the- Hot enough for Ryan Hager, the sidewalk? Hot enough to fry Cher's brain. She is here though. She, can you text her? Do you want me to text if she can come in?

Yeah, do you mind? I don't care. I can ask her. I'm nervous. Yes, of course. You don't tell Cher. Of course you don't tell Cher. You don't tell Cher things, you ask her if she wants to text.

Yeah, I would say this. If you're gonna come in for the marriage, go slow, she's been hurt. Sure. Greg Allman. She believes in love. Greg Allman, of course. She believes in love, but you gotta go slow. She's been hurt. Sure. Greg Allman. She believes in love. She believes in love, but you gotta go slow. That's right.

Yeah, she could turn back time. Remember her on the boat with the big guy. She famously said, if I could turn back time, not I can turn back time. I believe I said if, but yes. Well, you didn't. I do know I believe I did. You said she could turn back time.

No, guys, guys, guys, the original version is, I can turn back time. Oh, wow. I know guys, the original version is, I can turn back time. Oh, wow. I know that guy talked to Cher about it. You would know. Is her bragging about her powers? No, that was her version and it was an executive thing. We all hate executives.

They said, if you say, ah, you're going to alienate the audience, it has to be in. Don't say that, don't say that. Who is that? That's Maribel, this is Alamoni Tony. Hello, hello, dear, how are you? Are you single? Why is she staring at me?

Why isn't she talking to you? I don't know, she's just staring at me. Hey, let me get her out of here. I'm so sorry. Tony! Hey, guys. Wait. Tony, you know Tony? I know Tony, Tony, of course. Tony, Tony, Tony? How you doing? We have the same kuma.

Tony. Cher is a yes. Cher's coming in. She's coming in. This is sick in this she's excited she's a big family Tony I think you better leave not you Tony yes getting too crowded we need so I do need to just say this about share really quickly to you as the guy right in interview no questions about her past nothing about the wardrobe everything has to be very positive nothing about the wardrobe. Everything has to be very positive.

So nothing about the past. What about the present? Can we talk about the present? I wouldn't talk too much about the present. Future? Potentially a little bit about the future. She likes things, if possible, sing-songy. Sing-songy. Okay. Hello! If you don't, but I don't want to... Hello!

Cher! Oh, my word! Hello, it's me, Cher. Hello, Cher. Nice to have you here. Oh, I love when people sing. Hello, Cher. Nice to have you here. I love when people sing. Does he have to continue or can he talk regular? Because he showed such respect. You can talk regular, Cher. Cher, thank you so much. It's such a pleasure.

Shake. It's so hot in the car. I'm sorry. Oh, I thought I turned the dog thing on. No, it's too hot. You're so sweaty. I'm so sweaty and wet. And you look beautiful. Cher, may I say hello? My name is Tony Giaccher sweaty. I'm so sweaty and wet. And you look beautiful. Cher, may I say hello? My name is Tony Giaccherone.

I'm a huge fan of yours. Oh, hello. It's just a thrill to meet you. That's nice. And are you, I hope this is too forward a question. Are you currently single, Cher? I am, yes. Well.

Except for on TV, of course. Well, she's well a movie. We're shooting a rom-com, and there's a lot of rumors about on set. Like, we'll all share with her in your talk. Rumors about it. Yeah, there's a lot of like, what's happening on set is going home with them, there's a lot of turmoil, but.

And is it true, or? We can't comment. We can't comment on that, but it's true. This is like a, whoa. This is like a Sydney. Well, we, Cher, we can't comment on it. We can't comment on it, but it's true. This is like a Sydney. Whoa, this is like a Sydney. Sure, we can't comment. We can't comment on it, but it's definitely happening.

This is like the Sydney Sweeney Glenn Powell movie. Exactly. Well, that's our competition, because we're coming out this weekend too. Oh, you are? We're out. They've just dwarfed us a little bit. Oh, okay.

And you're also going to mimic that trailer. We're doing the same bit. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, we are. I think everyone should. Well, we did, it just didn't catch on. We haven't, it just has like nine views. Oh, I see.

But we do the bit. That's eight more than you have. Get ready for number 10. Hey. Scott. I'm sorry. It's not like you. I'm just stating facts.

We're friends. No, we are friends. We like each other. We like each other. Yes, we don't have a combative relationship. No, we don't. I mean, it's okay for you to josh me. I shouldn't be so thin skinned.

Of course. Well, let's go back to Cher here. Cher. Oh, no, I'm gonna go sit in the car more. No, no, no, no, no, let me sit in the car. Had to sit in the car some more? Before you go, and I know we do this on set and I know you love it.

I love it so much. Will you give him a taste of your beautiful singing? Because what she does this on set, she's being shy. But I know this woman. I'm so shy. When she gets pimped into a song, she acts like she doesn't love it, but then her voice is beautiful.

Don't make me sing. Come on, you should. Oh, I hate it. Come on, you should. Pretty please, chef. Oh. What song are you gonna sing? One of my classics.

If I Could Turn Back Time? If I could turn back time. Oh, that's the chef voice I know so well. Yeah, could turn back. Tony, do you sing? I mean, I sing after a fashion. Yeah, do one of your song parodies to If I Could Turn Back Time.

Oh, oh, oh, okay. So, a song parody of Cher's If I Could Turn Back Time. Let's see, so it's about turning back time. That's impossible to do. What is something funny about impossibility? I'm going to say- The Impossible Burger? Hold on, funny about a possibility? I'm going to say, uh, the impossible burger. Hold on a second. Uh, you, you're in my process. Uh, uh, uh, incredible. Uh, pushing the rock up the hill, but then it comes back down.

I thought it possibly does it, but then he has to do it again. Uh, okay. What else is impossible? Now a possible burgers in my brain. I can't get it out of there. I hate, I'm sorry that I put that in there. I'm gonna have to go with that. There's gotta be something in there. A possible burger. Okay, okay. I'm gonna, there's a possible burger. Turn back time.

Okay, if I can turn back time. I've had a way. Okay. I'm kinda nervous to express. Sure. If, oh, maybe don't start with the same word. Maybe something rhymes with if. Like tiff or.

Scott, you're really getting in my brain. Tiff, the Toronto and Idaho film festival. Yes, exactly. Maybe it's a song about Tiff, you eating an impossible burger at Tiff. And it costs a dime. Tiff, I could stand in line. He's doing it.

If I could get some food, I would get a false burger to watch the movie through, oh no. Cher, I'm so sorry. Cher. Oh, baby, you're doing great. I've never done a song parody of someone's song while the person was here. This is impossible. It's all good. I thought it was fantastic. Thank you, Cher. You liked that, Cher. Oh, I loved it. I loved every second.

I love when men sang to me. Can I ask you a question? Do you find Alamoni Tony attractive at all? Cher. Oh, yeah. No. Cher. Cher. Tony, can I talk to you for a second? Sure.

I'm sorry, Cher. Just take a break. It's all good. I'll go sit in the car. No, Jake, you can talk to Tony with me. Oh, okay. I thought you were going to have me go in a corner with Cher. Don't go in a corner with Cher. Jake, you can talk to Tony with me. Oh, okay. I thought you were gonna have me go in a corner with Cher. No, no, no, don't go in a corner with Cher. Come here, come to the corner with me. No, no, no, Jake's coming with me.

No, come here, let's sit in the corner. Over here, Jake. I don't know what to do. Over here. Cher, you got anything? I got a, what do I got, a mamba. I'll go with Scott. I'll go with Scott.

Hey, Tony. Cher's an exotic snake. Tony, Jake and I wanna talk to you. What's up, locker room talk? Here we go. Doesn't feel like locker room talk? Here we go. Doesn't feel like locker room talk. Grabbed by the pussy. Cool.

No, I think you have a shot with Cher. I do too, 100%. Aren't you having an affair with her? No, we're just doing it for PR. I think she likes you, likes you for real. I think she genuinely likes you. She likes me, likes me? Yeah, here's the problem.

Yeah. I think no court in this United States of America, Cher is so wealthy. Agreed. I don I think no court in this United States of America, Cher is so wealthy. I don't think any court in the United States is going to award her alimony should you ever break up. You don't understand. Alimony is not about the legal system. Alimony is about me taking care of stuff.

I know, but here's what's going to happen. Here, this is what I worry is gonna happen. Right. You're gonna just dive head first into a relationship with Cher. Fall in love. Already there. You're gonna break up.

And then the court will award you alimony, and suddenly you'll be paid out. And Scott, it'll be so much. It'll cover all 60 other ones and more. Look, look, look, look, look. I appreciate the gesture, gentlemen, but don't forget, I have more money than you could possibly imagine.

Well, Alamone Tony is the inventor of what was it? No, I didn't invent it. Oh, that's your mother. Yeah. What was it? She invented gaseous paper. Gaseous paper, paper that turns into gas once you write on it? Yes.

It was for use in the space program. So they would have a bunch of paper floating around. Right. It was like directions of how to fly a rocket, right? And then once they launched it. I don't think I ever said that. That seems- Hey, can I get a moment?

Scott, we don't need this anymore. I would hope there's more training with that. Once it's up in the air, it just dissolves. Hey, Scott. You really tickled yourself. I hope there's more trading with that. Once it's up in the air, it just dissolves. Hey Scott. You really tickled yourself. I know the share likes guys who made all their money

from their mother's inventions. Really? Yeah, like I know women, especially older women, and that's a turn-on. Ooh, it's a pop for every lid. Yeah, I was hoping that Scott just heard that, Tony. Oh yeah, I thought you were having a private. That's why I did the hey whisper,

hey Scott, Tony. Oh, I'm sorry, well, it was still standing in a tight circle. I know, but I was hoping that he could relay it to me. I couldn't help but hear it, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, I promise. Okay, I understand. Hey, El Mote Tony, Jake is really bugging me

with this whole like, oh, sorry, oh wait, no, you're right here. You said hey Tony, I didn't listen. What'd you say? Oh, okay, see, this is a polite guy. Yeah, I didn't hear a thing you said, my man. But I got a few things I wanna pitch you about, Tony. Okay.

All right, Tony, I guess Jake and I will give you our blessing if that's important to you. Thank you, it is. That is what you asked. I didn't wanna ask. I will say, that's how this whole thing started. Yeah, of course. Let me ask officially, Scott.

Tony. You're Tony. No, you're Tony. This is Jake. No, I'm talking to Tony, Tony. Tony, get over here. What are you talking about? You guys want some pizza?

And Jake. Yes. It would mean the world to me if you would give me your blessing in asking Cher for her hand in marriage. Well, let's see, should we give him our blessing? I'll tell you what, does this answer your question? We will.

We will. Does it? I've heard all I need to know. All right, thanks guys. Hey, there we go. This was very fun. That was a fun day. This was very fun. That was a fun day. Very, very fun.

I remember this. And I don't know, sometimes it's nice when there's fewer people because you have to, I don't know, you have to be kind of more on your toes because you have more of your share of time to fill. Yes. And... In the big gang episodes, you can kind of like lean back and choose your moments.

Because you know other people are gonna chime in and shit like that. But, and also Jake played along so well and was so game for everything. In fact, he was egging it on more than we were in a way. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of times. And then Lily, like it's, you know, it does happen on the show where somebody comes in

with an idea and then something happens in the moment where they spontaneously say, oh, I'm gonna do this now. Yeah. And- So Lily became Tony Sony. This is the birth of Tony Sony. Which, who by the way, listening to this clip, Tony Sony's voice is so different at the beginning

than what it becomes. Oh, really? Yes. It's pretty much just like, hi, I'm Tony Sony's voice is so different at the beginning than what it becomes. Oh, really? Yes. It's pretty much just like, hi, I'm Tony Sony. And then as it progresses, it starts getting it, as you learn more and more about, hey, I'm Tony Sony. Tony Sony is probably the breakout character of 2024. Probably.

Lily did Tony Sony in many other episodes, as well as did Tony Sony live during the tour quite a bit. Where Tony Sony would do standup. Tony Sony would do standup, Tony Sony, we learned about Tony Sony's wife, who's an Olympian and a brain surgeon, no, gave the BBLs. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And called, there was a really funny, I think it was in Indianapolis, I can't remember where Tim Balz, who's married to Lily was filming Righteous Gemstones for most of the tour and could only do two cities with us. Yeah. But Lily would call him on stage a lot.

And a lot of times Tim wouldn't even know who he was supposed to play. Yeah. And just be like, having Lily introduced like, hi honey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Tony Sony, your husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Tim would be thrown into playing Tony Sony's wife. But there was a really funny- And he would immediately. Yes. but there was a really funny- And he would immediately. Yes, but there was a really funny episode where he had to play both Tony's wife and Guma The Guma. In separate phone calls. And Tim also would figure out where,

what city Lily was in and figure out a bunch of fun facts about the cities and have those at the ready. He would just work them into conversation and the crowd would go berserk. It was so funny every single time. So I gotta say, this is just a pitch for the, for the tour episodes. We really had such a good time.

We could do a- We did so many shows this year and so many different combos of people. And it was really, really fun. The crowds were great. And if you haven't, you should check them out. They're really enjoyable. Yes.

We did 43 tour episodes in addition to, I think, maybe 57 comedy bang bang episodes, including the best ofs. So that's a hundred episodes. But if you want to hear all the tour episodes, you just need to become a Maximus subscriber over at CBB World and all of those are there. And we would put them up, Brett would always put them up within 24 hours or so.

Amazing turnaround, yeah. But yeah, there's so many, and then also Tony Sony did our Madam Webb, Scott Hasn't Seen episode because those were the Sony Spider-Man episodes. That's right. Definitely the number one character, new character of the year.

I think actually this episode almost was number one and was number one for a good number of weeks. Wow. Until what ended up being number one. Do you track it the whole time during the voting period? I check it every 20 seconds, probably. Oh, that's a lot. Yeah.

Every 20 seconds for the entire period of voting? Yeah. That's really frequently. Really? I just want to make sure like, you know. You're saying every 20 seconds. Yeah, yeah. So like less than, not even every minute.

Like one alligator, two alligator, or three alligator, all the way up every 20 seconds. Yeah, yeah. It's like less than, not even every minute. Like one alligator, two alligator, or three alligator, all the way up to 20 alligator. So you're checking at 20 alligator. Yeah. Every day. Every 20 alligator. Do I take off a day? No, I never take off a day.

So every single day. I set an alarm when I go to sleep for every 20 seconds. Oh, I'm exhausted. I bet you are. Yeah. I don't think you have to do that because how much does it fluctuate? Pretty much that was the only change.

Yeah. So you wasted a lot of time. You lost a lot of sleep, wasted a lot of time. Yeah. Bada. I love it. Bada. When you love what you do,

Bada. You never work a day in your life. Bada. You know what I say? Bada. Bada, I love it. Well, that was great. I, by the way, Alamoni Tony, we heard from him. You've done a couple Alamoni Tony Valamoni Shonies.

That's right. And you were also doing Mirabelle, the publicist. And at one point we tried to get Alamoni Tony talking to Mirabelle, the publicist. And at one point we tried to get Alamoni Tony talking to Mirabelle, but you wouldn't do it. Did I not do it at all? No. Good for me. Good for you.

Setting my boundaries. Will we hear another Alamoni Tony Valamoni Shoney this year? I think you can count on it. I hope so. I think you can count on it. I hope so. I will message the guests to make sure we can lock it down. Fantastic. All right, we're gonna take a break.

And when we come back, we're gonna hear the number one. But before we do that, Scott. Oh boy. We're going to hear a different number one. This is your number one behind the scenes fact about regarding Henry. Harrison Ford almost turned down the role due to concerns about being typecast as a lawyer,

having recently played one. That was a different concern. Having recently played one and presumed innocent. But ultimately accepted after realizing Henry's lawyer aspect would only be present in the beginning of the film. Guy has played Han Solo, Indiana Jones. He's an iconic movie star.

And people are gonna be like, oh, he's just a lawyer now. He's just a lawyer guy. Just give him lawyer parts. He's a huge movie star. I can't see him as anything other than a lawyer. What a weirdo. Weird guy.

He's probably high as hell when he takes medicine. I hope so. I hope he's high as hell when he takes medicine. I hope so. I hope he's high as hell now. I hope so too, man. All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have your number one episode as well as the climactic conclusion of the Snowman game. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

Comedy Bang Bang, we are back. The best of- Not for long though. Not for long. It's winding down, baby. We are winding down. We only have one more clip to play. This is the best of 2024 part four,

which means we have arrived to it. We have arrived to it. I have arrived to it. You realize I've been talking now for five hours with a bad tongue. I know you got a bad tongue. I keep wincing in pain during, how many times have I winced in pain that you've seen? Almost constantly. Yep. And, you know, I'm a gentleman.

I don't, I don't acknowledge it. I don't say stop making a fucking face. I don't say, stop making a fucking face. I don't say, thank you so much. I don't say, why don't you go to the doctor if it hurts so much. Doctor, what's a doctor gonna do? I read, a tongue doctor, they can make your tongue smaller. Oh.

Yeah, they shave off the hurt part. God. They get a cheese grater and they shave off the hurt. Gross. It's an outpatient procedure. They hit you on the head with a hammer and they shave off the part. It's bad.

All right. We got to do it, Paul. I know we do. We have a duty to the listeners. We could just quit and they would never know what the number one episode is. Well, you know what, Scott? That's what's interesting is that we could have quit doing this would never know what the number one episode is. Well, you know what, Scott, that's what's interesting

is that we could have quit doing this at any time. Yeah. Any time. We don't owe these people anything. No, they owe, if anything, they owe us. If you want, we'll get into that for sure. But if you wanted to, you can say, by the way, we're not gonna tell you what number one is.

Yeah. Just for the fuck of it. Yeah, figure it out yourself. Figure it out yourself. Why don't you guess? Why don't you hack into my computer? Nice setup, by the way. I don't know.

You should be telling people that. But we, because we feel a sense of commitment. Duty, honor. Honor, to obey, cherish. Semper fi. Semper foo. Commitment. Honor. Honor. Obey. Cherish. Semper Fi. Semper Fu. Semper Fo. Semper Fu.

Semper Fa. We did it. We did it. All the vowel sounds. So we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. Even though we don't have to do it. And we don't want to do it. And we don't know how to do it.

So I can't read whatever this is, so I don't know. I'm illiterate. No, it is time for it. We have to do it. We have to. We've come to your choice for episode number one. Fuck. Number one.

All right, Paul. Yeah. I'm gonna do something different. I'm gonna give you the date first. You've, Paul. Yeah. I'm gonna do something different. I'm gonna give you the date first. You've never done this before. February 12th of this year. Two days before Valentine's Day. Yeah, so love is in the air.

Yeah. You're trying to decide who you're gonna take to Valentine's Day dinner. I'm thinking about presidents Lincoln and Washington. You're buying so many mattresses. That's right. Okay. Then what else? Episode number 850.

Are you fucking kidding me? I wouldn't kid about this. This is the dead center of the 800s? Exactly in the middle. We've been dancing around it, dancing between the 800th? Exactly in the middle. We've been dancing around it, dancing between the raindrops for this entire countdown. You said, oh, that's so close to the center.

That's so close to the center. Yeah. We are in the center, baby. This is wild. It's insanity. I'm losing my mind. I need to be locked up in a rubber room. Please put me in a straight jacket

and then put my Napoleon hat on. You bought a Napoleon hat just for this purpose. Yeah. Because you ever went crazy. If I ever lose my mind, if I ever have some kind of episode, please put a Napoleon hat on me. I hope it has a chin strap. Me too.

Yeah. This is an episode called the exorcism of hot dog. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. Boy, oh boy. Who do I recall this? Yes. We have Jason Manzoukas. We have Andy Daly and Mr. Paul F. Tompkins.

That's me. Wow. Do you remember this episode? I remember that multiple characters appear in this episode. Yes. There are many strange goings on. Some would say supernatural in nature. Mm-hmm. I remember that there was talk of a certain band from a certain era. That's right. that there was talk of a certain band from a certain era that combines three different musical

genre. This is where we establish and you'll hear it. We talked about Dread Zeppelin. Yes. You're gonna hear the genesis of our talk about, I'll just leave it at that of us us talking about Dread Zeppelin. Do we explain in the clip what Dread Zeppelin is? Yes.

Okay, all right. So if you are new to Comedy Bang Bang, we've been doing this since I think episode 200, where we've had Jason Manzucas and Andy Daly together on the show. I think in episode 200 was the one, because Jason and Andy and I had been doing a bunch of episodes. And then the 200th one, Jason had this idea of doing an intervention for Andy. And I think that was the one where everyone started jumping out the window. Yes. So then every hundredth episode on 300, 400, we returned to Andy and Jason,

and then we started doing it on the 50s as well. And then Andy started doing this character, Byron Denniston. Royal Watcher. Royal Watcher. He'd done it on this show a few times back when not a lot was going on with the Royals. Basically a creep, like there's these things

if you don't know what these are in England, they have what are known as Royal Watchers, which are people who are just there to report on the comings and goings and behind the palace doors. And Andy took it to an extreme of here's a person who sneaks into their castle and watches them personally. So he'd been doing this for a while. And during COVID on the anniversary show of 2020, he was doing Byron Denniston and Paul was there set to be a different character.

Was it Margaret? It was Lavinia Marsh-Carruthers. Lavinia Marsh-Carruthers. Otherwise known as Sheeval Knievel, the Lady Daredevil. That's right, you were all set to do that. And Jason was on it with Andy and Andy as the Royal Watcher started, we started talking about his,

in the lore of these episodes, oh my gosh, we're really getting down to it. In the lore of these episodes, Byron Denniston wants to get married to one of the Royals because they're all taking off in a spaceship and abandoning Earth before it gets destroyed. He wants to marry a royal. We started going down the list of royals

that he could possibly marry. There was one particular very attractive royal that we came upon and in the moment we found- Lady Amelia Spencer. Lady Amelia Spencer. in the moment, we found out that she was engaged to a gentleman named The Grizz. Which made us laugh really hard.

And we found out he was a water polo instructor. And it made us laugh really hard. And then Paul texted me and said, Hey, should I just be the Grizz? And I said, yes, you should. And so neither Jason nor Andy knew that Paul was gonna be the Grizz. And so Paul just like jumped onto the Zoom

and started going, well, well, well. Which it's funny when Andy is actually surprised by something. He was surprised by the intervention on episode 200, genuinely. Right, right, right. But the look on his face where he was like, what is this? This is, cause he's a guy who he's master improviser,

but he always has sort of a plan in his mind. So when, and he can roll with anything, but it's very funny to be actually surprised. He was surprised by you being the Grizz. And then you abandoned your other character and just played the Grizz the entire time. Which is very, very, very funny. So then we continued as a foursome on the hundreds and the fifties because this saga of Byron Denniston

and the Grizz just kept expanding. So this is episode 850. What had happened in between episode 800 and 850 is the King Charles got crowned. Yeah, crowned, he has coronation, yeah. Yeah, coronation. And Andrew Lloyd Webber, who you have also played as long as the show's been going on,

was entwined with the coronation because he was writing a song for the coronation. And as the coronation was happening, everyone starts sending us pictures of Andrew Lloyd Webber next to a particular gentleman who looked like a man in disguise. And everyone was saying, this is Byron Denn man in disguise. And everyone was saying, this is Byron Deniston in disguise.

So that is how this starts. Yeah. In addition to talking about Dread Zeppelin, that's how this starts. We then switched, you guys switched characters to a bunch of things. Let's just hear it. This is your choice for episode number one.

Number one. Well, Jason, it's great to have you. We do need to get to our first guest. Oh, wow, all right. I would love to. We actually, first guests, if that's okay. Why not? Because they're here together.

We last spoke to them, I believe it was episode somewhere around 799 or 801, somewhere around there. Okay. Somewhere in that realm, in that range. They attended the coronation together. Of course. Please welcome- Of the new king. Of the new king, King Charles.

King Charles, and we want to catch up with him, see what's been going on. But please welcome back to the show. Uh, uh, Byron Denison, I wanted to say Byron Donaldson, that's someone different. But Byron Denison is here and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. Yes, hello. Don't do I was introduced second. I am a lord. I beg your pardon. Well, I don't think they saved the best for last. Oh, Scotrick, you've done it again. Um, guys, it's wonder, or chaps rather, it's wonderful to have you back. You, now, I don't know that you knew each other on the last episode, or maybe you did, I can't remember, but it seems like you're close friends. We don't necessarily measure time by episodes,

you and I, but no, we don't. I sort of measure it by the days of my life. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But we met quite a while ago, I think. I presented myself as a very wealthy backer of West End shows, and it took several months before you realized I wasn't, really. But by then we were friends.

No, not at all. He hoped to go to shows for free so that he could see Royals there. Yes. Ah, I see. I wanted to go on the nights when the Royals would be there. Those were normally the premiere nights, I would think. Or are they going like five weeks later You could see Royals there. Yes. I see. I wanted to go on the night when the Royals would be there. Those were normally the premier nights, I would think, or are they going like five weeks later

when the cast has settled in? They're very canny. The Royals, they do wait a bit. Do they really? Yes, let's let them find their feet, they say. Oh, interesting. Sorry to excite you. They're Roman feet.

They're Roman feet. Yes, but you know, I always wanted to be in the audience when the Royals were there with a clear view of the Royals and simply watching them the entire time. Right. Never the show. That's your show. The show you're there to watch is them watching the show. That's right. That doesn't go down so well with Lord Webber.

Were you requesting that Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber turn an entire seat around facing the other way? Yes, right in front of them, a row right in front of them. It's almost like when you ride a train, right? I wish he had requested it rather than just did it. Well, yes, I brought some power tools along and I sort of uprooted the chair. Those are the best kind of tools for this kind of situation.

Imagine the look of shock on the face of Betty Buckley walking out there and seeing one theater seat turned around with sawdust still on the floor from where he saw it from its very mooring. Like it was some sort of a bar with sawdust on the floor or something, a draft house. All right. Byron, you attended the coronation, is that correct?

I think we were talking to you beforehand. That's what I was trying to remember. Or was it afterwards? I think it was prior to King Charles becoming king. And you debuted the song that you were talking to you beforehand. That's what I was trying to remember. Or was it afterwards? I think it was prior to King Charles becoming king. And you debuted the song that you were going to have sung, Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's correct. How did this all go over?

Everything? Well, it was fascinating. I had to get into sort of elaborate disguise. No, you don't say. Yes, just to sort of pass myself off as someone else. But I sat with the Lord Webber and we had a lovely time. That's right, I think we saw pictures of this. You were next to Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Yes. In some sort of like... Oh, with a mustache? Did you have a mustache? Some sort of like Monty Python, Mr. Creosote costume. It was the disguisiest disguise anyone has ever seen. Pistachio Disguisey from Master of Disguise? Yes, I don't know what that is. Itistachio Disguisey? From Master of Disguise? I don't know what that is.

It's sort of like Mr. Turtle? Yes. The character's name is Pistachio Disguisey. I see him. From the Disguisey family. I hired the absolute best makeup department available. Rick Baker did this for you? Yes, Rick Baker.

And the absolute best wig maker. Did Rick Baker still have some of the clump stuff lying around and you were just like, look, I'm gonna wear clothes over it. Clump stuff. The clumps, you're not familiar with the clumps. Starring Eddie Murphy. And Eddie Murth, they're clumps.

They're in that film. Yes, wonderful. I have to tell you, I've been since the coronation a bit bored with the royals. Well, I was gonna say, are there any, like you've also, it seems like been spending quite a lot of time stateside here. Have you found any local people to decide to get into?

It sounds like you're getting into- I mean, Howie Mandel is kind of the king of comedy. American royalty, as close as it comes. Used to be the Kennedys, but I'm afraid the Crown is rather charmed. They've been usurped. Careful, you're talking about someone from the comedy community.

Who are you? Oh, Cheryl Heinzel's husband? Yes. Yes. We protect our own. That's a bad idea. She doesn't disagree with him on everything. She's been very clear.

She's okay with everything that's going on currently, it seems like. She just says, look, my husband and I we're different people, we have different thoughts, he's insane, I'm not. Or maybe I'm just someone who loves being married to an insane person. You don't both have to be sane in order to be married.

Right, of course not. So, yeah, I mean, there's not been a lot going on, Byron. I mean. Well, there wasn't for quite a while, and I began to get into, yeah, I mean, there's not been a lot going on, Byron. I mean... Well, there wasn't for quite a while. And I began to get into, well, Lloyd Webber and I have been heavily into competitive jigsaw puzzling. Yes. Oh, really? Great.

Just as a sort of thing to do. Yes, we've been doing that. Watching other people do it or doing it yourself? Yeah, doing it ourselves. All of it. I mean, we've jigsawed against one another. Indeed. Then we've teamed up to jigsaw against another team. Yeah.

You jigsaw against one another, is it like someone puts down a piece and the other person just takes it out? Yes, pretty much. And is there like a chess clock? There is a chess clock. You put a piece in, hit the clock, boom, boom, click, boom, click. The other person just takes it out, throws it away. Oh, you can't throw it away.

You don't do that with chess pieces. Puts it in the pieces and mixes them up. Yes, but you are, then you put in a piece, it cannot be the same piece. Ah. It's a different piece. Very important. Yeah, this sounds fascinating.

We've also started watching all the Saw films together. Yes, they're amazing. Oh, that Jigsaw, what will he get up to next? He's cheeky. I know, I know. What a cheeky monkey. Saw one through eight and then Jigsaw and then Saw X. Exactly, interesting.

So how far have you gotten? Into the Jigsaw film? Yeah. How many are there? I think we're halfway through. There's 10. We're about halfway through. But you know what, I messed up

and I watched the most recent one after watching the second one. Chronologically, it comes in between one and two. It does, but I watched it between two and three. Oh. Byron! I know. Why didn't you tell me?

Well, I felt ashamed. How did you guys get into this? Did someone say, do you want to play a game referring to puzzles? And the other person said, oh, the Saw Films. I think it happened rather organically. Yes, it did. I said, I'm such a huge fan of jigsaws. And you said, well, then we should watch this.

And then you were a bit confused. Yes. And I've had met the jigsaw puzzle and you had met the jigsaw character. And these are the sorts of things we get up to. It was a real chocolate and peanut butter. Are you living together or? We're living now. We have the houses next door to one another.

Well, you know, it's just the way I want it. I had a spot of bother recently. You don't say? There was a poll to guys in my home. Oh, wow. I had to hire an exorc. You don't say? There was a poltergeist in my home. Oh wow. Yes. I had to hire an exorcist. Here's what would happen.

I would be in my home and then, you know, I have scripts lying around. And then I would go into, I would leave a room, go into a room and then the script would be in a neat pile. Can you imagine anything more chilling than that? It sounds to me like Byron was coming over and visiting and just like rearranging stuff. Is that so? sounds to me like Byron was coming over and visiting and just like rearranging his stuff. Is that so?

Well, uh, Byron. I was ashamed and didn't want to tell you all. I have a thing for neatening up, I just do. Well, I do appreciate it, but I did, I am terrified of the supernatural, so I did call an exorcist to come in. And I shouldn't have given him the credit, I suppose, if it was Byron doing this all alone. No, no, no, give him the credit, because suppose. It was Byron doing this all along.

No, no, no, give him the credit, because he did ask me to stop coming into your house unannounced. But I did find that he, after the fact, he was the worst exorcist I could have hired. No, right. The exorcist from hell? Wait, because he put something in there? No, he's just incompetent.

Oh, okay. I looked in the Guinness Book of World Records. Oh, I know that guy. Yeah, I know somebody who works there. He's the least successful exorcist. The least successful, usually they give it to most. Padre Davide Benvenuto. Oh, that guy, yeah, our friend was talking about him. He's actually caused more people to become possessed

than he has exorcised demons. Remarkable. He's in the book, do you know, have you ever met this person that we're talking about? I don't think so. Fred Guinness. Oh, Fred Guinness, I think I have met Fred. You have met Fred Guinness.

Yes, I do. I don't remember quite. Yeah. Well, he was over the phone. He lives in Ireland. I don't think I've met him, have I? No, dude. I don't think so.

We could call Fred. We could call Fred Guinness. We could call him. He always takes the call. Yeah, let me see if I can hear. Okay, when I'm dialing the phone. Beep boop. Beep beep beep.

Why are you saying beep boop while I'm dialing the phone? I was nervousop, beep beep beep. Why are you saying beep boop while I'm dialing the phone? I was nervous the listener wouldn't know that we were making a call. They're hearing it as I call, yeah. It's ringing. Still ringing. Go for Guinness.

Hi, Fred. Scotty. Fred Guinness. What's going on? Hey, is that Jason I hear? Jason's here with me. Jason, hello. Guess who else is Fred Guinness. What's going on? What, is that Jason out here? Jason's here with me. Jason, hello. Guess who else is here?

Is this what I sound like? Yeah. I don't remember. Maybe I sound more like this. That's right, yeah. I think that's pretty good. I think it's a little more like that. Who else is there?

Who else you got? What's the party? Byron Denniston is here. Byron! Royal watcher. Nice to make your acquaintance again, Byron. Lovely, yes. Now what's going on, guys?

Well, we also have someone else here. Who? Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. Hello! Are you in the book, Andrew Lloyd Webber? I would think you would be most successful. Longest running. Longest running show, maybe.

I did hold that record for quite a while. For Les Mis. Wonderful, I love his Les Mis. That's my fave of your shows, Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's not one of mine. Hi. Yes, hello. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Well, the pleasure is mine. You're a lord. Yes, I am, but not the lord. I'm not religious. So yeah, you do hold the record for most successful person to have an absolute flop on Broadway. Don't remind me and everyone. Oh my God. We're talking about Bad Cinderella.

Bad Cinderella, that's correct. What was so bad about her? Ticket sales. Very funny. But Byron, tell us, I wanted to ask you about something because it just made the news recently and it sort of piqued my interest, but there is something going on with the Royals. Oh, indeed. Some sort of hospital stay for two of the Royals.

Oh, indeed. Fill me in. What exactly is happening? Well, all right. So, you know, I noticed things were rather quiet amongst the Royals, you know? It sort of seems as though Harry and Meghan had sort of gone off and done their thing and whatnot. And Queen Elizabeth is doing a very good job of keeping a low profile and staying and hiding.

A few people have seen her, like the Loch Ness Monster here and there. Right, right, but she's really kept a low profile. And Scott, what are you doing? I don't know. Turn the dings off. Sorry, I'm trying to turn these dings off. So yeah, there've been a few sightings

like Bigfoot or what have you. What's the word? Yeah. What is this? Scott, you really need to turn off the dings. Oh, for heaven's sake. Are you getting, what message is that? What message do you get that has a choo choo sound? I seriously think it's on do not disturb. I don't know what this is. What message do you get that has a choo-choo sound?

I seriously think it's on Do Not Disturb. I don't know what's happening right here. I don't know what that is. That one was suspenseful. Sorry. Have you updated to the new operating system? Oh, August, you're back. Thank God.

Yeah, yeah, I can't give you help. Thank God, because I honestly don't know what I'm doing here. You gotta press focus. Focus. Did you work in the IT department at Schmeiderberg Pretzels? Well, briefly, yeah, I did, you know, because I was on suspension. Oh, yeah, they're back.

They suspended me from full suspension. I don't know what's happening. I don't know who's trying to contact me here. Yeah. Wait, wait, can I just read my messages? I know who's messaging you. Oh. It's this guy I know.

This guy, his name is... It doesn't come up there on the message? Yeah, I just, I know him by a different name. I know him by his nickname, but this guy, the Grizz, is trying to message me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, we all know him. No, no, no, whatever the Grizz says.

From what? Oh no, no. Oh, I think he, oh, I need to unlock the door. Sorry, the Grizz has been trying to get in. Don't unlock the door, don't unlock it actually. Keep it locked. I need to unlock the gates. Unlike, this is the anti-WTF.

I need to unlock the gates. Oh. Here, let me just... Oh, for Christ's sake. Oh, wow. It just got... Hey, guys. Well, well, well. As I live and breathe.

Sorry, guys, this is my friend Greg. Hey, it's me, Greg, innit? Yes, Mr. Mallard. A is my friend Greg. It's me, Greg, innit? Yes, Mr. Mallet, AKA The Grizz. You know each other? Oh yes, we've had innumerable dealings. Where? The Grizz and I here and there and all around,

matter of fact. You know, there was a time when he and I were vying for the same lady, Lady Amelia Spencer, in fact. And I'm sorry to say, since the last time we've spoken to you, they have in fact become married. Whoa! That's right. And congrats!

They've known one another. Congrats, Greg. Thank you, thank you. That's so, I mean, I didn't know, I didn't get an invite, I guess. No. I didn't either. No.

And we've met a bunch of times. You guys have met too? I forgot, you invite everybody you've ever met to your wedding. I think so, I think that's how it works. If you had you had to it would probably be what like 500 people tops, right max I Did HBO I did invite HBO Max He's my he's my mate. What has HBO I Was at the wedding of course at Grizzly's behest I was compelled to say made him watch

the wedding, of course, at Grizz's behest, I was compelled to serve. I made him watch. Did you get to object? No, no, oh no, not only was I made to watch, I dared him to object. Yes. I'd have taken a big long pause. Well, he made me be the ring bearer. Did he make you turn your seat around to face everybody? Yes.

Yes. Away from the bride. Oh no. So they could see the tears streaming down his face. It was just, the entire day was devoted to humiliating me. The number of references and the vows that they wrote, the two of them, to me, was striking. People cried. I think they were crying in sympathy with me.

In fact, it was so sad. No, I mean, they were crying in sympathy with me. In fact, it was so sad. No, I mean, they were crying, laughing. They've never seen anyone so horribly defeated and humiliated. It was really an entire wedding weekend devoted to humiliating me. I had to serve drinks at the cocktail affair. Oh, wow. So you were like employed. Wedding but not for money, just to avoid being whipped.

It was terrible. They had several wardrobe changes throughout the day. Like what, like silly, silly clothes? What were they, what were they? Depending on the occupation. Oh, of course, of course. First he had a lovely little pinafore when he brought the ring down the aisle. Wow, so you were really integrated into the ceremony.

Oh, very much so. Almost where it was more about you than it was about the couple. It's certainly how it felt to me. You had to give a best man speech that I wrote without the luxury of being the best man even. But yes, I had to give a best man speech and he wrote it and it was only full of insults toward myself.

I wish we had that. I'm so sorry, but this is now reminding me, you guys have been on the show together a few times. Yes, we have. My friend Greg has been, I got to know you through this show. Yeah, we're friends, we like each other. Yeah, we like each other, right?

Yeah, we're friends. Of course, yeah. Remarkable how anyone could like Greg Mallard the Grizz. I can't imagine. Come on, man, he's the Grizz. I've only met him a couple of times here at the show, but the dude's a fucking blast. He's a fucking water polo champion. Nobody beats the Grizz. Nobody beats the Grizz, you know, that's the Grizz. I've only met him a couple of times here at the show, but the dude's a fucking blast. He's a fucking water polo champion. Nobody beats the Grizz. Nobody beats the Grizz.

You know, that's the T-shirt. I'm sorry, but that is true. You know, he is a water polo inspector. Inspector? Inspector. Wait, did you get a promotion? Yeah, it's not an inspector water polo. Is that a Department of the British Police?

It's under the aegis of the crowd. Oh, is it the Ministry of Water Polo? That's right. Wow. Are you looking at the new minister, His Majesty's new minister of Water Polo. Wow. Congratulations, Grace.

So are you in charge of Water Polo or inspecting Water Polo based crimes? Yeah, like NCIS. Both. I'll look around a Water Polo pitch and I'll say, look ship-shaped to me. Okay. And then somebody says, so play on. There's been a murder.

We suspect water polo foul play. By water foul? Sometimes. Sometimes. Then I have to consult me old mate, Shadley Sully Sullenberger. Wait, you know Sully. Sully, of course I do. Hero of the Hudson he is.

So if you have some sort of goose related problem. Indeed. How often is it a goose related problem? Four out of five. Yeah, I would think so. So you've got his number. Wiley creatures. Geese hate people.

We were talking about, we're talking about slowly on a recent episode about how what people don't know about that miracle on the Hudson is every single people, every single person. Every single people. Every single person, every single soul that he saved had to get one of their limbs amputated.

If not both. Yeah. Why? It was so cold. They lost their feet in frostbite, didn't they? So cold in the Hudson, yes. But you'd rather be them than the geese, I dare say. Yeah. In any case, I'm so sorry, I didn't remember, honestly, that there was some drama between

you two guys. In the article, by the way, about your wedding, Grizz, you are mentioned as a, not in this article as an inspector or an instructor of water polo, but as a lifestyle coach. What is that? You don't know what it is? Well, they don't, sir, are in need of a lifestyle coach. Oh, that would be great. Would you take on Byron as a client?

Of course I would. Really? I'd be glad to. What would you do for me? I think my lifestyle is wonderful. Hold on, can I talk to you for a second? To me? Yeah, Jason and I want to talk to you.

Hold on, Greg, I'll be right with you. I'll just be over here in this puddle. Okay, Piran. Yes? Here's an opportunity for you. What sort of an opportunity? Hire him as your lifestyle coach. Yes, yes.

And then he'll teach you about his lifestyle and you can just take his place once he gives you all of the secrets. And I can call Rick Becker. Oh. Just passing by, I'm Greg Nicotero call Rick Banger. Sorry, just passing by. I'm Greg Nicotero. I was just.

Oh, Greg, yes. From The Walking Dead. Oh no, not you, Greg, not you, Greg. Well, I heard people talking about special effects makeup and I thought. Yes, yes, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't think about you, Greg. Incredible, Greg Nicotero from The Walking Dead,

from countless other incredible productions with practical effects. To none of which we can name. To numerous dimension, yeah. Greg, may I ask you, did you see the gentleman sitting next to Andrew Lloyd Webber at the coronation of the Queen? Yeah, that was you, right?

Oh, isn't that amazing? Well, give me your critique of that makeup work. Well, it sort of looked like to me that you were trying to let people know you were wearing a disguise. See, I wasn't at all. It wasn't. It didn't look very natural. It looked so cartoonish. And it just seemed like, well, no actual human being looks like that.

Wow. Look at that. It was almost a Tony Clifton. What would you have done differently? No, but that was a real person. Tony Clifton was a real person. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. What would you have done differently though? He's still around. I guess that's true. I would have done a shorter wig. I would have done a shorter wig. I would have done a more human-scale mustache.

It was like a bob, wasn't it? Yes. Yeah. It was like a Dutch boy. I would have done a more human-scale mustache and probably, you know, glasses that you can wear at night, you know, like see-through glasses as opposed to those... Tinted frames. I feel like you wore tinted glasses.

That look like they're there to hide sort of a poor job on the eyes. Really looked like Tony Clifton. He really did. Yeah. Yeah. Tony Clifton. The powder blue tuxedo.

That didn't help. Doing those jokes. My only concern, I'll be honest, for you, Greg, was would be in transforming Byron into, and again, I don't think the Grizz is listening, the Grizz. Yeah, no, would be in transforming Byron into, and again, I don't think the Grizz is listening, the Grizz. No, he's in the corner. Would he? Flash, flash, I'm taking the box.

Okay, oh, nice. The Grizz is in the pool. Oh, hey, Hot Dog, I forgot you were here. That's a real good song. Hot Dog seems genuinely miserable to be here. I'm so sorry. Hot Dog, I feel like Hot Dog would rather Byron Dennis than be getting the attention.

Yeah, Byron, you're very quiet, by the way. No, no, I think he's doing wonderfully. Well, you know, think about it. I am summoned out of a clear blue sky. Do you wait, you're just in the middle of the sky when I summon you? Yeah. What?

I'm looking down on Earth. What? Wow. We have I'm looking down on Earth. What? Wow. We have not talked about this at all. You never asked where I was. You want to know all about his mug washing. You never asked where I was when you summoned me. It's so true. We say... You're up in the heavens? We say, what's up, hot dog? You arrive and we never ask you where you just were. Well, if you guys would ever do me the favor of unsummoning me, what would happen is I just convert into mist and I float around in the atmosphere.

And then when you summon me, I become corporeal again and I'm a hot dog. Wow, so you are almost like a spirit or a poltergeist in some ways. I am definitely mist. I'm like evaporated water. I am. Did somebody say Poltergeist? Who's this? Whoa.

I thought I heard Poltergeist mentioned. Oh, this is the father. Oh yeah. Father David Benvenuto. Thank you. All right, right, right. Do you need a ghost, Busted? Is this an ad break?

Busted makes me feel good. Wait, is this a ghost? This Is this an ad break? Busted it makes me feel good. Are you afraid of ghosts? This seems like an ad break. I ain't afraid of no ghosts. I think you're gonna have a hard time people go, who are you gonna call and then your name because it's very ingrained to say who you're gonna call.

Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters. What's your name? Padre David de Benvenuto. Can you put that into the song? Who are you gonna call? When there's somebody strange in the neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Padre Davide, benvenuto.

It doesn't really roll off the tongue of something like Ghostbusters does. Oh, how about this? What if it was to a reggae? What if it had like a- What if, what if Jannana did Ghostbusters as one of their songs? I think it's a great idea. I mean, at thisana did Ghostbusters as one of their songs? I think it's a great idea.

I mean, at this point, Ghostbusters is older than 50s rock and roll was to Jannana himself. What, Ken, what, what do you mean? True. Yeah. Well, Jannana came together in like 1968, and so that was about seven years after the music that they were.

Right, and so Ghostbusters was 40 years ago this year. Wow, man. That's crazy. So it's older than the music of the 50s. Wow, that's cool. Yeah. So Ghostbusters was 40 years ago this year. Wow. That's crazy. So it's older than the music of the 50s. Wow. That's cool. Technically. Yeah. When you really think about it, when you drill down into it, it's 40 years ago is still older than the 50s. Wow. Because I know we just have to explain to you because you're mostly missed.

I think you guys is possessed. What's that? I think you guys is possessed. Oh no. No, no, no, no. I wouldn't perform an exercise. I'm gonna have to perform an exercise. Oh no, I don't think that we need one.

We didn't summon this guy, but you arrived on a Vespa? See. Yeah. I noticed that it's parked outside. And you're not missed before you come here. I ride the Vespa every. Yeah.

I ride to other country. Yeah, you're not missed before you come here. I ride the Vespa every year. Yeah. I ride to other country. Yeah, you're not missed before you come here? No, I'm a guy. Yeah, when we say that, M-I-S-T, not M-I-S-S-E-D. Oh, I know I'm not missed. Oh, no, hot dog. Hot dog. Hot dog.

I think I'm on a hot dog. Hot dog might need an exorcism, honestly. I don't know what's going on with it. Hot dog, what's the matter for you? Why are you looking so sad? It's a nicer place. It's not so bad. Oh, shut up in your face.

Again, if you're listening to this episode and you weren't born in the early 70s or late 60s, you have no idea what's going on. The hot dog, I... But Hot Dog, I... But Hot Dog, I... And excuse me, Cal, I need to talk to Hot Dog. Yeah, I'm still here.

Yeah, I'm still here. Oh, right. But... And the Grizz. I know Grizz. Who would have thought the Grizz would get so little airtime? Right, Drumsky, fold it over, yeah.

I think Hot Dog, there's something going on with you and it may benefit you to perform an exorcism on you because I've never seen you like this. You think I might have a ghost in me? I think so. Or what is it, a devil? You got a demon. Is a demon in me?

Hot Dog, you got a demon in you. Oh, I wouldn't be surprised. You know, some people say, I got that demon in me. That's you now. I've never heard anybody say that, but I believe that I might have a demon in me. He's a big expression in exorcism circles. Oh, okay.

I got a demon in me. When did you start feeling in an exorcism circle. Oh, okay. I got a demon in me. When did you start feeling like this? Was this at some time around the last time you spoke to Shana Nah? Well, yeah, I had a really bad conversation with those guys with Screamin' Scott and Donnie and they were real mean to me. Real mean to me.

Do you say Shana Nah? Oh, well, do you say Shana Nah? Yeah. All possessed. No, no, no, no. I mean, honestly, Jason, we've we've suspected this for a while. I'm not surprised by that. Yeah, I mean, they are trying to bring about hell on earth and yeah, well, screaming at the dirty day. John Bowser bowled. They're all possessed by demons. No, I mean, I know that they're in league with the devil and working for the devil, but possessed. Yeah.

It's really splitting hairs. He finally went all the way. Oh. So Padre, do you think that perhaps when he tried to audition for Shauna Na that he invited this poltergeist or devil inside of him? Almost certainly. Well, part of the audition was drawing a pentagram

with my blood and then having me jerk off on a parchment. Oh, whoa. That is your soul's signature. Oh, what do you mean? That's where they get you. Oh, no. I thought it was just a weird kink. Always have a lawyer look at the contract.

I have it anytime I sign a contract that my lawyer cross out the part where I got to jerk off on a parchment. I just put a line right through that. That's smart. Just redline it. So what do you suggest we do here? Everybody got to pray. Oh, okay. Whether you believe or not, it does not matter.

If you can pray in Latin, the best. I don't get, Jason, can you pray in Latin? I can't, I don't know Latin at all. It's too bad. What's your favorite prayer? Hmm, I think the only prayer I know is the Lord's Prayer. Oh, it's a good one. I know, God is good, God is great. Oh, I guess I don't know it. What's the one where it ends with let's eat? God is good, God is great.

Come on, God, I just can't wait. Let me eat this food on my plate. What is this? That's the one, yeah. I know all hell, rock and roll. Oh, that's a good one. Hell, hell, rock and roll. Hell, hell, rock and roll, yeah. If you pretend that rock and roll is a God, is a rock and roll a God to you? Absolutely. Then you pray that, you pray that no matter what happens, you pray that.

So this is like a 12 step program where you don't have to believe in God necessarily as much as something can be God. Whatever God means to you. Yeah, I'm not real strict about it. Oh great, oh that's so. Well also, the rock gods are there to be worshiped. Sure.

Ronnie James Dio, Jimi Hendrix. Dread Zeppelin? Yeah. Or Thelvis? Dread Thelvis. Are you talking about Dread Zeppelin? Oh yeah. Oh, I love Dread Zeppelin.

Of course you do, you're older. Yeah. So do you want to perform this exorcism? Okay, so you say God is good, God is great. Okay. You say the Lord's Prayer. Okay. You say, Hail, Hail, Rock and Roll. Okay. And I will perform at

the same. You don't have to say it real loud. I'm going to read the magazine. Oh yeah, yeah. Greg, you, Greg, Greg and Greg. I'm more spiritual than religious. Okay, great. Good to know. All right, here we go. Ready? Okay. And three, two, one. What? What is the countdown? We're all going to pray. Oh, okay. Never record me to do a countdown, but that's good. Okay, yes. Here we go. Three, two, one. Hell, hell, rock and roll. Demon, I'm going to tell you right now, you better get out of there. You're making me mad, demon. I'm going to get mad. I'm you making me mad demons. I'm getting mad. I'm getting so mad at you and I It's working

You better get out of there it's a hot dog It's a hot dog shaped demon You gotta get out of there leave it out all alone now,'s good in here. I like it when it becomes the mist and then I can be everywhere. You got your own body. Why don't you stay in there? Have you seen my body? Yeah, good point.

Is that so good these days? I do it trying Pilates. Oh, good. No, it's not. It's terrible. I mean, you don't look great. Thank you. I have to admit.

Thank you for making my point for me. But it's not a compliment. I'm not thanking you for the compliment. Yeah, I understand. Don of the mellow, I command you to leave the body of a hot dog. Listen, you're barking up the wrong tree because I myself am possessed by a demon, but I- What? Yes.

Oh no. Eat it like a babushka. Wait, three, two, one. Our father. Demon inside of Don of the mellow. Don't be demon, get out of there. I tell you right now, two, one. Our father. Demon inside of the mellow. Double demon, get out of there. I tell you right now, you better get out of there.

Get out of there, demon. Double demon, get out. It's me, Golly. Oh, Golly, the original demon. Whoa. How's it going? Holy shit. Not this guy.

Oh boy. Golly is a demon that- A ventriloquist dummy come to life. Yeah. A paragon of evil. Yeah. Oh my God. Amici, this guy, he's above my pay grade. Oh boy.

You can't deal with him? Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh no. That's right. I've defeated him again and again. Oh my God. I destroy him. I've never seen Father Bienvenuto seeming so scared.

How many you just met? Well, I've never seen you so scared since I just met you. You got me. You've never seen Father Bienvenuto seeming so scared. How many you just met? Well, I've never seen you so scared since I just met you. You got me. You've never seen anybody so scared. Look at him. Oh, my God. What do we do, guys? What do we do? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Has anyone ever tried saying Golly's name backwards?

Don't even try it. It can't be done. Okay, let's try it. It can't be done. Elog! I'm finally free. Oh! Has anyone tried saying Tom D'Amelio's name backwards? I don't think that can be done! E-Log! I'm finally free. Has anyone tried saying Tom D'Amelos' name backwards? I don't think that can be done.

Only mad! Only mad, mod! Oh my God, I feel fantastic! Oh, hot dog! I'm finally free! We're gonna say your name backwards! Okay, I can finally leave! Doctor!

He seems to be gone. All right. What seems to be golden. All right. What fun. What fun. What fun we had. This is where the Saw film thing was established. Yeah. And so we're talking about, um, you know, getting into that.

Andrew Lloyd Webber and Byron Dennison are competitive jigsaw puzzlers. Yeah. You're competitive jigsaw puzzlers. Yeah, you're competitive jigsaw puzzlers. And we like jigsaw so much. We started watching the Saw movies. And I had thought that we mentioned the idea of a watch along in the episode. And then when I went back and listened to it again,

I realized, no, we just talked about that off mic. I think I just, I think I texted- After the episode, yeah, you were like, hey, we should do a Saul watch along thing. Yeah, and then Halloween was coming up and I was like, let's do that Saul watch along. And so Andy and I went to Brett's house and Brett Morris' house and watched Saul,

which I had seen before, I think both of us had seen it before. Right, and I had recently watched it for Scott hasn't seen. And we established that the characters had seen it before. Yes. Because in this episode, in the clip we just heard, you guys say that you've seen them all.

Yes. Yeah. So to be watching that movie with him, with both of us in character was- It's so crazy. It was so weird and so much fun. Also, we recorded it in the middle of the afternoon and so much of that movie is dark. Yes.

We couldn't see shit. Cause it's bright. Yeah, but it was, it was a ball and we decided, I mean, I think Andy's into this as well, but we are dedicated to doing one for every Halloween. That's fantastic. As long as they keep making some movies, we'll do. What if they never stop?

You'll just have to keep going. You switched to doing Fred Guinness who we also- What if they never stop making some movies? They have to stop at some point. But what if they never do? Oh no, you'll have to live forever. Our children's children? Our children's children's children?

Can you imagine? It's the one franchise. Hundreds of years later, saw movies are still going on. Hundreds of years. You switched to Fred Guinness. Yes. And then August Lint came in,

which is a callback to me having problems with all the dings. You were providing all these dings by the way. Yes, so one of my favorite things to do. And then Hot Dog comes in, the Grizz, Greg Nicotero, Padre Dave de- Dave de Benvenuto. Benvenuto.

And then of course we have Golly at the end, which Andy just did, Gil and Golly live on stage in our final tour episode of 2024. And it was very funny because I had never seen Andy, I mean, I'd seen obviously Andy doing Gil and Golly during a podcast, but he had a live on stage, he had a physicality to him that I was like, oh Andy, is that how you, when you originate the character, is that a physicality to him that I was like, oh, Andy, is that how you,

when you originated the character, is that the physicality that you did? He said, oh, I've never done it on stage before. So that was the first time he'd ever done it in front of a live audience, which I thought was very, very cool. It was great. You know, Lauren and I,

Lauren Lapkus and I were talking at dinner about Andy and how amazing he was that night and how he is, Andy is great in improv at having a game, but not making it feel like a game. It doesn't feel like, like rote, like, oh, I have to get back to my thing. It just always, it feels like a-

It feels like he'd be fine abandoning the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the characters feel really fleshed out and he stays in his characters really well. And, you know, cause a lot of, there's a kind of like a podcast improv now, which is a separate sort of improv where you don't necessarily stay in character the whole time.

And there's a lot of winking. That also happens on stage a bit too, where people kind of laugh in scenes sometimes. Oh, sure. But I think it's definitely, as podcasting has evolved, I think that's become a specific kind of thing that improvisers can let themselves do. Yeah.

But Andy, for a long while, he was never breaking character. Oh, yeah. Even in podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now he kind of laughs during them sometimes. Yeah, or he like says something that's part of his own life or his own experience in the guise of the character. But we were talking about how, you know, just how amazing he is

and also how the dark things that he comes up with, the things that he says for someone who doesn't seem to be a dark person at all. No. But realizing like he has these thoughts in him. Yeah. Scary. It's a little spooky, but he's so funny.

He's brilliant. It's such a good episode listening to that clip. The entire episode is great. Yeah. Uh, we could only cut it down to that much and hopefully that's a representative bite, but, um, it's so good. It was really fun to re-listen to when I was getting ready for the Saw thing. So good. I think a truly, uh, and like I said, it was that or so New York, we're kind of going back and forth for a while. I think exorcism of hot dog started running away with it

towards the end of the voting period. But yeah, great episodes. Great episodes. Fun stuff. Really good. Should we do some stats? Oh my God, I forgot about stats, please. Yeah, okay.

So let's talk about months and how many episodes. Let's talk about months. Yeah. So November. Chao, chao, chao, chao. There's only one episode eligible from November 2023 and then three from November 2024. None of those made it. No.

Fuck. People hated November episodes. A November to forget-ber. Ha ha ha. December though, to remember of 2023, one episode made it. January, two episodes from January made it. February, one. March, one.

April, two. April always has the anniversary, so that... No, that's May, sorry. Fool. No, so April had two. I'm the April fool. May has the anniversary, that had one. That was the anniversary. June had zero. June, people hated it.

People hated it. July had one, August had one, September had one, October had three. October had three. And they were episodes 886, 887, and 888. What a run. Three in a row. That was the Christian Bruhn one, then the Tatiana one, and then the Halloween one.

Wow. Those three in a row. An amazing three weeks for podcasts. An amazing three weeks. Let's talk about the performers involved who are in these. A bunch of people were in one episode that cracked the top 14. Did anybody make it to the,

oh, Ben Rogers first time, right? In the countdown? I don't know. In the best tests? And he's in two. Ah, shit. I'm not sure. Definitely Jake Johnson, his first time. Well, we don't count those people. time. We don't count those people.

Yeah, we don't kill those people. He'll never be back. I hope so. If I see him on the beach, I expect to see him back in this studio. Return tap. Charlie McCracken, I don't think he's ever been on the... Oh yeah.

Yeah, so he's new. Aaron Whitehead, I think might be new to the Best Ofs. Yeah, but let's talk about the people who have more than one episode. Timbalt's had two this year. Here's the people who were in two episodes in the top 14. Timbalt's, Sean Distin, Will Hines, Ryan Gall, Taron Killam, Ben Rogers, Christian Bruhn,

Tatiana Maslany, Carl Tartt and Andy Daly. 10. 10 people had more than, had two. Nice, congrats. Let's talk about the people who were in three. You have Lily Sullivan and Lisa Gilroy. Congrats. Congrats to them.

Let's talk about, one person has four episodes in the top 14, Jason Manzoukas. Congrats. Now, usually, usually there would be only one other person above Jason, but we have two now. What? Above Jason making five appearances, Vic.

Vic fucking Michaelis. In five of the top 14. Five of the top 14. This is just a banner year for Vic. Absolutely. Just tearing through the top 14. And may I say before you reveal the other name, if you have not yet seen it,

very important people on Dropout TV. You're in this season. I am in this season. I just was talking to the person editing your episode and they said it was so funny. Oh, I'm glad to hear that. I look forward to seeing it. But it's a great show that Vic hosts.

Cut all that stuff out. Hey, why? Why? He cut all the footage. Why? Vic is a great host and it's improvisers being put into elaborate makeup and having to decide on the spot what their character is based on what they look like.

And surprising Vic with who they are, right? No, Vic knows in advance. Vic knows. Oh, okay. Great. Well, that ruined it for me. She doesn't know that you don't know that. Uh-oh. Ah. Okay. So at the top, once again,

with seven of the top 14 episodes, Mr. Paul F. Tompkins. Dang. Now you were saying before, am I over? Yeah, I think it every year. You think it every year, but because this year, so strangely you were not in any of the episodes until episode nine.

You only did nine episodes this year. Is that true? Yeah, you usually do about 12. You do about one a month. Yeah. But because we were on tour for so long, I was taking it easy on you and not saying like, hey, come save me and come do an episode. I probably would have. You probably would have and you would not saying like, hey, come to an episode.

I probably would have. You probably would have. And I, you would have been great, but yeah, you only did nine, you only did two episodes that were not in the top 14. Those were close to the top 14. You did the John Cryer episode. Oh yeah.

The Tony Hale episodes. Oh yeah. Both of those were great, but they are not in the top 14. So your stats are still good. Well, I'm honored and flattered and you know. You're in the top four and then six, seven and nine. Man, well, look, I love doing this show and I'm happy to be with such a esteemed company.

Yes, I think this was a great year. I enjoyed all of these clips. I think so too. As a listener, I thought this was a terrific year and I think the podcast is not only just as good as it ever was, but I think it's having a real renaissance. And I think people should listen to the tour episodes because that's such a big part of the year for us.

Those were like almost to an episode. Really, really great. Someone pointed out that the last tour episode that we did in LA at the United Artists Theater on Broadway. We had, you had eight guests, right? Eight and yeah, and myself. Yeah. So nine, nine Stuhler.

Nine Stuhler. And I saw someone put it that it was people that represented all these different eras of the show on one stage. Because we had people from the beginning, which would be you and Andy Daly and Seth Morris as Bob Dookah and Zooks, people who were there in the first year. Then you had like Lauren Lapkus,

who I always thought of as the new person, but now she's been added for 10 years or so. But then also some really great people from the new era, Sean Distin, Vic, Lisa Gilroy, people who have really, I mean, Vic and Lisa weren't even in the book, in the Bang Bang book, because they were so new at that point, by the time it was put together,

that I think they had just started doing the show. So yeah, it was great to have such a cross-section of generations of performers on this show. And hopefully we're going to keep it going. Hopefully we'll do another episode. At least, you should do at least one just to see how it feels. Yeah, okay. I wanna get some thanks out of the way. I want to thank- I'm sure they'll be pleased to hear a phrase that way.

Yeah, I wanna get it out of the way so I never have to thank them again. I wanna stop thinking about these people. Or in person. Wanna thank Kimmy Gregory, our producer, over there at Earwolf. Kimmy has been doing a lot behind the scenes for the show, works out a bit of the booking, works out the workflow of episodes being edited and completed and sent out. And

then just also a bunch of random stuff for the show and she's been working really hard and just had a baby. So, and asked to listen to my voice every episode while making noise. No, noise? Don't make noise. Don't make the noise, avoid the noise. Oh no, he wrecks pizza.

Making notes about like, you know, oh, hey, can we lose someone coughing here, all this kind of stuff. So really appreciate everything Kimmy has done. In addition to this year, so many years I've had to listen to all these episodes and pull these clips myself. This year, Kimmy assembled a big team to do these for me and send the first drafts of them to me.

So Kimmy enlisted Matt Apodaca, Cody Fisher, Amelia Chapulow and Talyn Stradley. And they all assembled all these clips. The Fantastic Four. The Fantastic Four is what they're calling them. And I think it's apropos. People are calling them the Fantastic Four is what they're calling them. And I think it's apropos. People are calling them The Fantastic Four. They use this new morphing technology.

Morphing technology. So they all pulled clips this year, which took a big heavy load. Feel weird saying heavy load when I'm talking about a work environment. When you paused, I was like, keep going, just keep going. I know.

But it took a load off of me this year. So thank you so much to those guys. And put the load right on me. That's right, the band style. Also want to thank our engineers this year. We had Alex Gonzalez earlier in the year and then Jordan Duffy took over. So thanks to-

Shout out to Jordan. Yes, shout out to them. Thank you so much to them. We also have July, July Diaz. July Diaz. He listens to every episode and he, if anything's wrong with them, he calls it out, but he also does the descriptions for every episode. And he's been doing this as long as anyone has been alive.

Yeah, it's weird. Mm-hmm. July, thank you so much. Sorry, I didn't recognize you when I saw you in a bar recently and you had to explain who you are. I haven't seen you in probably six years. So that's on you, July. Yeah, show your face a little more often.

I'll recognize you. In short, shut the fuck up. He didn't complain, by the way. I just have felt bad about it. Thanks to Brett Morris over at Comedy Bang Bang World. Yes. Brett, who produces so much of our stuff over there at CBB World and makes everything over there work.

I mean, he adds so much and it's amazing the job that he does, all the work that he does, it's a vast amount of work and, you know, does it on time and quickly and like- For the most part on time. For the most, I mean, but like considering all the shit, like the fact that he turns it around as quickly as he does is pretty amazing.

I'm gonna have to talk to him about it. Right, just so you know, I was the good cop here. But we talked during the break about how we both wanted this done. Shut up, shut up. No, he's great. He's also so funny on the mic on shows like Never Listen and College Town and Batman and all this.

Oh, and Randy and everything. Randy. So thanks to Brett. And I want to thank all of the guests who came on this year. It's so much fun to be with the most funny and talented people. And it's always just so wonderful that people return either be this their 15th year

or their first year doing the show. It's great that people still enjoy doing it. And I really appreciate everyone's hard work. Everyone who went out on tour with us this year, the performers who went on tour, this was such a fun tour. And again, you were saying such a variety of people on it. It was really great.

Everyone who came out to see us on tour. Yeah. We played to thousands of people this year. We did 43 shows, probably, I haven't counted the number of it, but I think it's around 4,000 people that we played to. And great crowds. Not a bad crowd in any city, which is, I mean, given the odds, you would think that there would be at least one.

Yeah, there have been a few shows in the past, especially early on when we start touring of like hecklers and- People yelling shit. People yelling shit a lot. This was so much fun and such good crowds. And then even going to the UK and Ireland, you kind of go like, oh, how are people gonna- Yeah.

And such great crowds over there. So good, yeah. Thank you for welcoming us so warmly. And to everyone who didn't live near any of the cities, but followed along and listened to the shows, thank you so much for all that. Yes, indeed. And there's a man that I need to thank.

He's across the table from me, Paul F. Tompkins. That was me. That's right. That genuinely surprised me. Boom. I knew that was coming. Always such a blast to do not only these best ofs, but the 12 or so episodes you do every year,

wouldn't be comedy bang bang without you, I think. I might consider packing it in, were you ever to quit the show, not die. It's great to have that power. I would consider it. I probably would do it. Oh, okay. I mean, I feel like you're taking

back the compliment a little bit. I am so thrilled to still be a part of this and to have gotten to play with so many great people and to have so much fun with you and just being fucking idiots together is so enjoyable. Just listening to that last number one episode, it's so funny all the way through and just, you know, and the tour and everything, you know,

it's just the blast to you. We had a good time. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I count the hours that I've spent in this room among the happiest in my life. And lastly, to all of you for listening this year, if this was your 15th year or maybe just even your first, or maybe even these best-ofs

are the first time you've ever even heard of it, the fact that everyone still listens to the show, we met so many people on tour who were like, I've been listening for 13 years, or I've been listening this long and now my kids listen to it. And even people who are just like, I've been listening this long and now my kids listen to it. And even people who are just like, I've been listening so long, like the last year and a half.

It's so fun to see so many, a lot of young people on tour this year, which is great. So great to see so many people still into the show. Even people who dip in and out and just only listen to the best of or whatever. It's so great that we're still relevant. We have some big episodes coming up very soon this month. On Monday, we'll hear the first ep of the year

with Ben Schwartz, who was just on the solo BOLO. He was on the last episode of last year and the first episode of this year. And we have episode 900 coming up. So- Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's insane. It's Yeah. That's insane.

It's crazy. It's crazy. We have some good stuff hopefully this year. So it is our pleasure to keep entertaining you. And if life gets difficult for you, we're always happy to be here. We heard a lot about that on tour, just people who appreciate getting their mind off stuff.

That's what we're here to do. So we hope you had a happy holiday. We had a great 2024 and here's to a 2025 that is tolerable. Scott, thank you. You're welcome. I mean that. I meant mine too.

I meant it maybe more. Oh, you fucking prick. It's not a competition. I know it's not a competition. But I did. All right. We have one last thing to do, Paul. Now, are we putting money on this or what,

or a dinner or what are we doing? That $1000 bet. Do you want to do a dinner or what are we doing? That's another bet. Do you wanna do a double or nothing? I owe you a Olive Garden dinner. Oh, so it's definitely Olive Garden. Yeah. We've now established it's definitely Olive Garden. Yeah.

All right. We can put this wherever you, I'm gonna still allow you to put it wherever you like. I don't know that he's looked in that direction. So I'm gonna leave him where he is. Okay. All right. So. Well, okay, what's where he is. Okay. All right. So.

Well, okay. What's the dinner? Just dinner. So if I win, then neither of us owes any dinners. No dinner. If you win, we're tied and we have to go into OT. That's right. And if neither of us win,

neither of us win dinners or can't, yeah, dinners are canceled out, because that means I won. Right. If, yes. So if we go into OT, we'll figure out what that means. All right, here we go.

Here we go. All right, you're gonna film this. Yes, because this is very- It's very exciting. Very exciting. This is where the rubber meets the road. That's right. Oh, you rubber fans.

And road fans. That's true. All, you rubber fans. And road fans. That's true. All right, geez, snowman back off. Here we go. Here we go. I am now, I'm squeezing his fat little hand. He's dancing around. Not Spunya, now he's spinning.

Okay, still facing now to the left of the bathroom. He's now facing, I would consider that to be sort of in your direction. Splitting the diff between us. Now back to his first position. Spinning around for the final time. Whoa! So close. I...

No, he's not. No. It's too much of an angle. It's too much of an angle. No, he's not. No. It's too much of an angle. It's too much of an angle. Too much of an angle. This is like right on. I would have given it to you, but.

I appreciate that. But apparently Paul doesn't want to go to Olive Garden. I don't want to go to Olive Garden with you. He wanted to. Because I don't think you respect it. Who respects it more than a former employee? I know you're going to be asking for those breadsticks all night long. We each have, I think Cool Up even has a gift certificate as well.

What if everybody who's won comedian feud, we should all just do a night there. We, yeah. Hey, guess what? We're renting the place out. And we're not paying you a dime. We just have a party of 100. So. All right, if you ever see us at Olive Garden

with a bunch of other comedians, I hope you brought your VHS. Oh, you know what? That's the thing to do. Have your VHS of Rudolph Shining New Year and just check out Olive Garden. Just check out whatever Olive Garden is nearest to us. We're trying to make this easy for you.

Thank you. Guys, have a great 2025. We'll see you on Monday with the first episode of the year. Thank you, Paul. We'll see you Monday for the first episode of the year. Still you, Paul. We'll see you Monday for the first episode of the year. Still. And also I wanted to say, we'll see you Monday for the first episode of the year.

All right, thanks, bye. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.