Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bever's Yuk-Em-Ups with The Calvins Triplets (Jason Mantzoukas, Taran Killam, Paul Brittain, Ryan Gaul)

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

Co-host Jason Mantzoukas triumphantly returns from Broadway for his first [sic] CBB appearance of 2026, just in time to greet the Calvins Triplets—Bever Hopox, Chico Hands and Bisby St. Hancock! Get a glimpse into the mind of entrepreneurs, as they introduce new taffy flavors, promote Bever’s new joke book and workshop concepts for a commercial. Plus surprise guests! Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh, but, baby, do-bye-d-Dub-d-b-do-d-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-d-b-b-d-b-b-d-b-b-b-dib-d-d-d-bbb-d-d-d-d-d-bb-d-bbb-d-l-d-bbb-l-d-d-d--b--bb-- blu-d-d-d-d-bbbbbbb-h. Oh, yeah! Louis Armstrong showed up to Wow, stopping by the studio A wonderful duet between Reggie and Louis Armstrong A super quick Louis cameo It's a super group He took off

His catchphrase by We all expected him And once he says that he never comes back Speaking of cashphrases Let me get through this Take my pants now I'm naked down there Whoa, living on a prayer Okay, just get to the

Catchphrase You gotta do your catchphrase Yes, oh no, that's it Wait, what? And I want to thank you to Darren Romeranera for that wonderful catchphrase submission. Not gonna stick. Maybe if I sang it,

Take my pants now. What do you think the melody is? Take my pants. What is the melody to live in on a prayer? Oh, it's living on a prayer? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I didn't even make that connection.

Take my pants. We'll make it, I swear. Oh, living on a prayer. Louis, you know modern music. And when I say modern, I mean 40 years old. Oh, yeah. Oh, thanks Louis.

Satchmo, what an exciting. What a thrill. He jumped on an eagle and flew away. And he did. That was the eagle. He's saying the classic Louis Armstrong, oh, yeah. But he's smashing in and out, a Kool-Aid man style. Yeah, he's having sex with Kool-A.

Oh, yeah. Do you think the Kool-Aid man is just ripping off Louis Armstrong? I think he might be. I mean, they're similarly built. Yeah, yep. Same catchphrase. their whole thing is breaking through walls. Yeah, got a big shelf.

Big badonka dog. Yeah, that's what Louis Armstrong is known for. And then when you didn't get the response you wanted, you said big shelf. As if I wasn't clocking that you were talking about. Sometimes you are talking so much. You're talking and not clocking. Oh, I am listening. You're a talker, not a clocker.

I can talk and clock at the same time. Well, let's welcome you to the show. By the way, this is Comedy Bang Bang the World's Most Ground Beefing podcast. My name is Scott Ockerman. Is that what it is now? Yep. Oh, by the way. I love it. It's a ground beefing podcast. No other podcast is as ground beefing as comedy bang bang.

It's so true because I feel like this podcast has beefed down the barriers that have that have withheld so much comedy gold. The gatekeepers. Exactly. The gate beefers. Wait a minute. We can't just start using to be. We can't. We can't. We can't. We has to just be break. By the way, Comedy Bang Bang, we won't quit, unlike other podcast hosts who just decide to hang it up after 16, 17 years. I mean, it's just as if they want to. will unlock the gates and walk away. And just walk out. No. I'm not going to quit. I may get fired. I may decide not to do it anymore.

Yep. Yep. But I'm never going to quit. Yes. I love that about news. I love that about you, even in the face of inarguable statistics and metrics that are telling you people don't say otherwise. Yes. People don't like it anymore. Speaking of not liking it, let me welcome my co-host. My name is Scott Ackerman. I don't know if I said that. but my co-host today, you know him as the J.M. of all J.M. Better than Jersey mics, better than what other Jams do we have?

Jack McBrayer? Hard pass. What a turkey. What a turd. And he has no idea we're even talking such shit about him. He hates podcasts. He hates podcasts and thinks they're dumb. Yeah, won't even appear on one.

Doesn't even understand how you get one. I ask him every single day. Oh, I see him all the time. And I'm like, how come you won't be on the? podcast and he's like what is that? Yeah, has no idea. He's just a country bumpkin. He said, what channel on the radio do I get it on?

You know him as on television? Honestly, it's been a minute since you had like a major, major role on something. It is. I'm trying to figure out exactly what it is. I know you're on Thunderpants or whatever. I'm on Thunderpants. You know, I'm on Thunderpants right now. What is that guy where the guys

are hurling lightning bolts at everybody? Yeah, Thundercie Jackson. Louis I think Louis might be in for the show Now the third appearance You have established a pattern And now you are baked in Oh no

Louie you can leave You can leave if you want Oh this catchphrase again Yes of course Percy Jackson And And or the Olympians And they have They do have Thunderpants

And you also were in a little television show By the name of Taskmaster Series 19. Season 19 appearing now on YouTube for free. Every single episode. You can watch them all. He's a great friend of the show. He's been on this show since the very beginning. Please welcome back. Jason Manzuka!

Hey, what's going on? Hey, how you doing, pal? Okay, so first questions first. Yeah, okay. And I'm really... Let's do the first questions first in the second one second and then on the line. I've been wanting to ask you this question since I answered. I'm clocking. I'm clocking everything you're saying. Don't you worry. I believe in concurrent talking.

Yes. That's how we talk when we're talking to each other. You and Robert Altman back in the 70s. Listen, we're all miced. So why can't we just talk all the time? Especially if Bob Balaband's here. Honestly, Frank Kapper is one of the first people to introduce this back in the 30s. He, when in doing movies, you had to wait until the other one was done talking to the other person. And he was like, what do you think I'm going to wait until Mr. Smith gets to Washington for everybody to start talking? Talking the whole trip there. Everybody talks the whole dang time. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so here's the deal. Yeah.

There's a gigantic... Hitting his microphone with his gesticulation. There's a gigantic pile of comics by the door. Are you getting rid of comics? Yes, I am. Do you want any of them? I might. I don't know.

I mean... You can't have them. Okay, so here's my question. What is your plan for these comics? Do you... I sell them. You do. I have a little eBay shop with two peas and an E at the end.

Ooh. So I think that's a little classy. I think you're supposed to put that on Etsy, not eBay. That's right. But, okay, so you will sell them on eBay. I will sell them on eBay, but you're welcome to sit through and take one thing. No. Okay, okay.

So you're not getting like a Scott Ackerman personal. No, no, no. I'm not signing all of these things. Absolute authority deluxe edition. Sandman. Going out the door. Okay. Yeah, Sandman stuff going out the door, unfortunately.

Now, super quick cue, and we don't have to get too deep into it. Why? Putting aside the discourse. I'm kidding. Okay, got it. And listen, people don't want to hear us talk about comics. People don't want to hear that. That's the thing is, like, I know it's very tempting you and I to talk about comics here,

but people don't want to hear that on a podcast. They want to hear about show business. Here's what I will say. Here's the one thing I'm going to say that made me think of this entire thing, which is assuming you are going to sell them great, wonderful. If there's stuff that is too broken or too, not broken, but too damage. to warn or weather. Children's hospitals love getting comics donated.

I, I, so that was my whole thing. My single issues, I actually donate to all of them. Great. Floppies go to the hospital. Go to the hops.

Hey, where do I drop these flops for these hops? Now, Jason, you haven't been on the show in a few months since 2025. I was going to say, I believe this is my first appearance in the new year. It is in the new year. The listeners may be in,

interested to know that my wife and I, Kulavu Lyshok, we took a trip to New York City to go see our little J.M on Broadway. Oh, boy. They say the neon lights are bright there, but I had no idea. I was on that great white way. That's right. Broadway. Yes, you guys came out to see the show that I was in called All Out.

You were in a Broadway show for four weeks. Yes, a brief, a sprint of. a run. And that's not to say that it was canceled after four weeks because of low attendance or four performance. That was the intended run that it's a show that went on for six months, but each month the cast is replaced by a new cast. Totally changed. And how was your experience? Did you get a taste for the fee? I noticed during the theme song that Reggie was singing along with Louis Anderson, you were singing along. You once said that you hated musicals and you would never sing. And now you're singing along with the theme song. Are you headed back to Broadway? Here's what I'm going to say. I can't talk about

it, but, you know, they're talking about bringing Phantom Bank and a lot of people think that I could really deliver that. I heard that they're bringing Sound of Music back and I think you would make a great Nazi who gets shot in the face. Now, this is interesting. And because I feel like that's going to be the big thing for the new Sound of Music is very

realistic Nazis getting shot in the face. But I was happy to see you there. It was a big thrill to see you there. And then I also went down the street and I saw you in another show, which is the live taskmaster shows. I did the Broadway show that I did and then I left and I ran three blocks away. Did you run the entire?

Well, the night you saw it, I did run because I wasn't sure where I was time-wise. Yes. And then I think that you waited an hour to come out. I did not wait an hour, but I did wait at least 35 minutes. And so, but yeah, and then did the taskmaster live show, which was a fucking blast. That was a lot of fun. We, we, Kulap and I went to that too. It was a thrill to see it happening.

Two nights in a row, and it couldn't have been more fun to watch people do Taskmaster live on stage. They had a selection of people from the audience who won their way on stage, as well as a few comedians. Seth Myers was there and John Oliver on the night that I was there. And everyone competed in Taskmaster. It was very, very fun, a very fun show. It was a blast. And there was like such a, I feel like there's something wonderful about Taskmaster. when I went there to do it, the audiences are so rabid and so obsessed with the show,

but are nonetheless still British so polite. And so how absolutely berserk American audiences were going, I very much enjoyed watching it unnerve, Greg and Alex. How rapturous. Did they sort of look to each other and say, like, why aren't we just doing it here? I think that, well, I do think they really were like, holy shit. This is, it's not just, of course they know it's popular, or has popularity.

Sure, they're seeing the data, the numbers. They're out there with their reading glasses on getting the printouts every day. They've got a jeweler's loop on the YouTube numbers. But I don't think they get anything close to this kind of like chaotic. Verbal approbation. Craziness. There's clips online and you can see it. People are going nuts.

And I think they were really taken aback in a good way. It was great. And then you came out and surprised everyone. No one knew you were going to be there. And it was a really fun night. Then I went backstage. and Alex actually knew who I was. Oh, yeah.

And which led me to believe that I'm going to be on series 21 of taskmaster. I mean, I don't know if you're allowed to say, but do you want to talk about your experiences at the house? I was confused the entire time. What am I doing here? I'm not even on the show. I just just trying to break in. It was a blast. It was a great trip.

It was fun. The second night, I will say, the second night I did it, Lisa Gilroy. Yes. Was one of the comedian guys. and was as relentlessly going after Alex as she does you on this show, and there was nothing more delightful. I don't know that she's ever been a guest on this show, but I've heard of her. You know what I mean. And I need to educate myself.

Yeah, you should get to know Gilroy. Yeah. It was great, but we're happy to have you back here, Los Angeles. 92 degrees today here in sunny L.A. March, early March, 92. That's right. But you're back now. Anything on the horizon, we talked about you haven't had like a big major role in a while. What's going, what's coming up? I don't, I don't know, you know what? I'm really, you said this comes up Monday. No, I got nothing. You got nothing really. Okay. So something's being announced after Monday. We'll see. Okay. We'll see. All right. This is good to know. We'll see. Be on the hunt. Enter into your Google searches. Jason Van Zookis. You know what? I'm trying to work more this year. I had my back operated on last year. That's right.

Back in action by you. You're like the Looney Tunes. I was like, my back hurts and you were like, I watched a bunch of YouTube videos about back surgery. Let me do it. And let me do it. And it's ironic that you're back in action when it was your back preventing you from being in action. Yeah, my back is so crazy how life works these days. How crazy is it that life works that way, right?

It's 35% crazy. Wow, wow. Yeah, it's the data, the stats. Oh, whoa, yeah. Statistics. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, yeah. For the lay person.

Okay. But we're glad to have you back And back here on Comedy Bang Bang And I would love to have you on the show Several times this year But we need to get to our next guest But you would like I would like to but you would love to have me on several times this year

Oh wait no you have been on this year already I have? You were on episode 950 Oh Okay I forgot You're right Anyway good to have you back

I'm thrilled to be here Ignore everything we've said Let's get the guests in here I will say in between 950 and this one We did do that trip to New York So there you go. That's what it was. Okay.

All right. Well, let's get to our next guest. Jason, I'm not sure if you know these guys. They are some entrepreneurs. We have entrepreneurs back on Comedy Bang Bang. Thank God. You know, we're back in that era where people are picking themselves up by their bootstraps and doing it themselves. Finally, some sort of combination of the tariffs and the straight of.

Hormuz. Hormuz. People are saying it's time to get back into business. Yep. Yes, people are saying that. They're saying like, let's dust off our hands and pull our bootstraps up and get back into business. And these three gentlemen are no exception. They have a business out here called the Calvin's Family Bee Honey Taffy Farm and Horsefighting Ranch.

Please welcome back to the show, Beaver Hopox, Chico Hans, and Bisbee St. Hancock, aka the Calvin's triplets. All right. Hold on. No, okay. No, no. Who's that? That's me, Bisby. St. Han. Are you

usually the first one to talk? And do you always talk so quietly as if you're not sure you, if it's right? Well, I'll be honest. I am the beta of the group. So I do. You're worse than the beta. You're the, what's after beta? I don't know. That's as low

as I've gone. Cicada. There it is. There he is. I'm the cicado of the group. Scotland. Yes. And Jace. Follow me. It's great to be back. here in the studio.

Bever, welcome back to the show. And then we also have Chico is over here. That's me! How we do with Alice Scotland? Great to see you. Wonderful to see you, Chico. As well as you, Mr. Manzuka. Hello, I didn't know you a Broadway match.

Yes, we met, I think last year maybe. Oh, okay. You do know each other then. I think it was two years ago, I believe. Oh, two years ago. No, for sure. We were reminiscing about, I believe, a trial that we'd all attend. Oh, yeah, that's ringing some sort of a bell.

Centric. The trial of the, yes. Which one? This one? This century. Very real. Because the last 25, 26 years. The O.J. one was pretty iconic.

That was huge. It was a 90s. Gun count. Last century. Yep. Welcome back to the show, guys. Joe, then John Proctor. Sure.

Okay. That was a crazy. That was crazy. Yeah. Like, what are some underrated trials? Yeah. I mean, we get all the, all the big ones, but like, we always talk about the trial of the century, but what are those underrated, below the radar?

My monoxidil. Yep. I did that for a trial period. I like that. Underwhelming. Do you have any side effects? I wasn't going to wait the three to six months. Yep.

Little dry mouth. Suicidal thoughts. Nuremberg. Yeah. Okay. Classic. Nuremberg was a side effect of monoxid. That's true.

Well, welcome back to the show, guys. It's wonderful to see you. You've been on so many years. I believe you must have been on for the past. This is our 17th year almost. And you've been on for 14 of them or so. You're wonderful guests. And of course you run the Calvin's Family Bee Honey Taffy Farm and Horse Fighting Ranch.

Where is that again? That's off of some freeways, I think. Well, yeah, it's up north a bit. So coming from L.A., you'd want to get on the 405. Okay. And just shoot right on up north. Shoot on up north. You know, left foot down.

405 from L.A. just goes maybe a couple of miles. Yeah. Well, then you're going to get it. You say left foot. down. Leadfoot. Lead foot. Oh, okay. Which my left foot is my lead foot.

And that makes breaking very different. Oh, boy. That was the original title of my left foot, I believe. Side effects of monoxide might be lead left foot. So you go up the 405 and you're there? No. It's in Valencia. Oh.

Oh, we've never. Have we never said that? We've never said that it's right there. Cross the freeway from Calh. We're trying to open up an annex in Valencia. Okay. For the population right here in L.A. but to get to the ranch,

you're going to have to take the 405, get off on the 406. Oh, that's right. Exit the ram, but don't do any nasty man business. Oh, right, right. Don't get off. Oh, God, I saw your hand go for your belt, and I got nervous.

Every time I say get off, he makes a big deal like I was talking about sex stuff. 21 positions in a one-night stand. He's just always, oh, this is a prince quote there. What'd you want to eat, Victoria? Ribs? I don't serve ribs. Well, it's, you'll find it once you hit the 405,

keep going up to the 406, then the 407, then successive numbers. Yeah, the 408 to 409, 409 is more or less. The formula, yeah. Just a great formula. And Janet, don't lose those directions. Circular highway, get right on off. And we're right off on Calvin's triplet ranch way boulevard. You got the street named.

after you guys finally. Calvin Triplett. Oh, you spray painted. Yeah. I'm sorry. I was talking, not clocking. What did you say?

It's all right. Don't worry about it. Let's keep moving. Now, you, of course, during October, that was Taffy season. That's right.

And you watched all of the Walking Dead, is that right? Including all the Spinoffs. Every Halloween, we watch all of the Walking Dead. Including all the spinoffs, right, with Carol and Bob and Ted.

And fear the walking Ted. We read the comics to each other. We read us the comics. That's right. Wow. We came up with a couple of new taffy flavors too, Scott. Oh, cool. I'd love to hear these.

Backwards apple. What does that mean? Backwards apple, meaning it tastes like the core first. You nailed it. Okay. Wow. Yeah, cool. And then once you get in the middle, there's the apple flavor that we all love.

Seed to skin, we call it. Oh, okay. Seed to skin. I'm using for my belt. Don't a horse got there. Easy to have. Exit. The background's apple.

Exit. Okay, got it. That's right. Sea water. Sea water. Now, is that the sea stands for something? Is that different than salt water? No, it is, it's a sea dash water.

Oh, okay. What does the sea stand for? Cut. No, bever. They wouldn't let us put it on the package. I'm reaching for my belt loops again. Oh, no, no, no, different down. Scott.

Different down bars. Oh, is that an acronym? That's an acronym. It is. Oh, okay. What is that? Celestea, untethered, nether-telectable. Oh, wow.

This sounds delicious. What did it actually taste like? Black magic. Wow. And cunt. But you know what? The third one is my favorite. Okay.

Blackberry. Oh. Oh, wow. That's a pretty standard flavor, I say. It's an acronym. Oh, okay. What is blackberry stand for? Pepper.

You've been elected. It stands for blackberry and licorice. Apple parentheses backwards. Celestia King, Tom, but everybody really, really, really. Yumma, Tom.

Wow, okay. I mean, this sounds great. That does sound very good. It's basically backwards apple again. Oh. With a different flavor, but it's really yummy. How many flavors total do you have?

What is that? We counted them. We counted them this fall. I think we have over. A couple. 14,000. 14,000. Just over 14,000.

Last year alone. When you're introducing noodle flavors, are you retiring flavors? Are there now some that are no longer available? Are you putting them in the Disney vault or the Calvin's vault? Or raising their jerseys to the ceiling? We did retire a couple. We retired Stick. Stick, that's right.

I think we talked about that last time, right? Stick. Didn't sell. Yeah. I loved it. It's good, but it's pretty much the same as Bray. And that's what I was saying in our R&D. Branch is one of your top sellers.

Branch is huge. I disagree. Branch had leave. Stick didn't have leave. Branch is still bark attached. That's right. Stick don't fall down. There it is.

Thought at all about doing tapfee for dogs? Taffy for dogs, I feel like branch and stick would be big. We thought about it, but ended up being a little rough. Oh, okay. Hey, Beber. Oh. Bever, you were telling me you have a joke book coming out. That's right this way, right?

Bevo Popax is, aka Calvin Smith's Calvin's, parenthetical, aka Beaverho Pox. Alpha Beaverho Pax. In the English tongue, I was doing the old English right. I'm a big Tolkien. Oh, great. Yes, that works then. You had AI rate most of that book.

I did, I did. And I did not proof reading. Nope. And it's just called Beva's Yucumups. Bevers Yucumps, wow. Which is an acronym. Okay. She go, take it away.

Oh, Beaver's Yucamux. Give me a piece of paper for no reason. Bevers Yucamups is book. Everybody. Everybody is really. Aposrophy? Susceptible. You know.

No. Even the ah is in there. Wow. Come on. With a cave. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.

I somehow guessed it. My story. I think we forgot the you and the pee in there, maybe. You take care your bathroom business on your own. I'm reaching for my bell loops again. Oh, wow. Well, this is big news, big news. So you're retiring some place.

New flavors, a new joke book. You guys are just, you have your fingers in so many pies. What a big year. Yeah, what a big year. You have to reach out. You got to diversify in this economy. Make sure we're still bringing in some food. And we're very hungry all the time, as we've told you, the horses eat.

God, they go through thousands of pounds of food every day. We have to make sure we're making money. That's right. The horses, of course, on your... Of course. The horses, of course. They, as... That is a list.

As discussed in a fighting horse, yes. As discussed on previous episodes, you have... And the name of that horse, of course. Of course. Horse fighting bouts every single day of the year that people can come out and see where horses beat each other to death. Greatest sport in the world. That's right. How much...

This is a good question. How much more... I love that you're judging and rating your questions before... Guys, here's a great question. And I'm sure you're not used to hearing great questions. How much is your income predicated on the horse fighting and and and and are you the are you the house money? Yes, that's what I'm wondering. You know, are you, does the house always win when it comes to these these bouts that you're doing?

Or are you just hosting the event and it's a flat fee for hosting the event? Little of both. Oh. Oh. Now. So you need a flat fee and. Yeah, we, we borrowed from the McDonald's sort of business infrastructure. Yeah.

literally from the McDonald You borrowed a bunch of money from them? We borrowed from them and Michael Keaton was like if you own the land on which you are leasing out to these fighting horses and their teams It's just a beautiful

like Constant stream of the loop Okay, okay Sorry sorry sorry More of like a cyclical like hand feeds mouth foot fist It's a side effecting of noxidue Or a boros if you will

Yeah So you own your ranch Our new flavors. We do own the ranch. Well, they own the ranch. They let me stay there. I have my place in Tampa still. Oh, yeah.

That's the satellite ranch that you used to own before you were adopted. That's right, Scott. And we found out that you were a brother to both these gentlemen. That's right, Scott. He's not heavy. He's your brother. I'm their brother. And we do, for anyone who's forgotten, it is technically one ranch because we have a one-foot-wide

strip of land. All the way across the United States. Directly across the United States. That's right. Straight to tap. With the one up in Northern California. Right to the bay. Wow. And so you have this going on, obviously. But 2026, you know, if I know the Calvin's triplets, there's

always something new that you're working on, you know, the horse fighting has been well covered, the taffy has been well covered. What's going on in the world of the triplets now? Jokebook wasn't enough. I mean, it sounds like you've only read one joke from it. I've been maybe too confident.

It's the first time where I'm checking myself and I appreciate that, Scott. I thought, for sure, this was going to be biggest moneymaker enterprise in triplets history. The joke book, you think? Bevers, he's huckabups, which we know stands for. Yep. But we're living in a world, Bevers, where you're the only name on the book. I can't help but notice that neither of the other guys. Were you guys both a little upset that you're not part of the other guys?

Were you guys both a little upset that you're not part of the book? Silent co-authors. That's right. Is that his? Is that his words? Well, we knew he was the personality of the group. He is. He was going to sell it.

He's the face of the Calvin's group. That's right. I hate to admit it. So what percentage of the book did you guys write? Well, it's not so much about sitting down and writing. It's just everybody's always joking and a goofing around it. So it is like- Coming up with a bond mott or a pun? Is it a big part of this book just describing these guys like during the day and just like goofing around?

We'd borrow. We'd yes and each other. We'd inspire each other. And then as silent riders, I'd go, write it. Oh, wow. And so you make them write down a transcription of what they just said. That's right. And they're going to remember better.

They said it. Right, right. So even if you're not around, they're trained to write down every funny thing that happens to them. That is correct. Wow. That is, I'm a bit of a tinkerer, a tinkerer, a rip-wrinkin'er, a historian about linking her. Oh, wow. An old stinking her.

And okay, only when you're cooking. But, uh, writing it down. I have my own little he shed in the back of the flight and ranch there. And I like to, I like to weld. I like to solder. Oh. And I invented these little ankle bracelets that I attached to my dear beloved. brothers that will give them a little zap.

Okay. If they're chuckling, if they're doing a yuckabup of their own, they get a little zip. And they know to write it down. And they go right to write it right down. So basically you guys are writing what you're doing all day. This is almost like a book. It's almost like a book about just like you guys' lives. Basically, you're publishing their diary in a lot of ways.

Yeah. So what is the heartbreaking work of staggering genius? What do you call that kind of book? Memoir? Memoir. Well, this is funny, though. How's so? It's very funny.

It's full of, it's packed full of jokes. It's, you know, when you pour a cup of coffee and you're like, God damn it, it's too too close to the brand. It's so cool that there's a book that has jokes in it because for me, whenever I need a joke, I just ask AI, I just ask GROC. So this is a great resource. Grock tell me a great funny joke, you know, that I can use at a party to really impress people. So, I mean, Bisby, I see you have the book right there.

Yeah. read one of the pages? You got to pick a page, or pick a subject. 69, if you know what I'm saying. Subject or page. Where he goes again? Slap his hand away. No.

Bad, Scotley. Bad, Scotley. You're going to have to get one of those electrical ankle bracelets for Scott. Yeah. Get you a zabba, belt loop. Yeah. Does it come a little thicker than an ankle, if you know what I mean? Hell.

That's what she's saying. Hey, what do you call a day without the sun? What? single parent. That's actually more of a joke than I thought it was going to be. It was actually more a joke than I thought it was going to be. You know what? If that's the level of joke that's in there, that's the best joke in the book.

Let's do more. Let's do more. I'm worried that it's not going to live up to that. I will say this. Guess who does not like these jokes. Oh, who's that? The horses. Oh, horses are not funny animals.

Just in general. We found that out the hard ones. They're serious. There was a bit of an uprising. Oh, well, I can imagine half of them realize that the very next day they're going to be led to their deaths in a horse fighting against. Well, they are fighting for their lives.

Maybe they don't want to hear humor. They don't want to live in a world of levity when they know that their lives are about to come to an abrupt end at the hands of, or at the hooves. In theory, I would agree with both of you. It's a deadly serious matter when your life is on the line. And yeah, I am, uh, I'd, be remiss to not look back at perhaps the greatest Fistakuff's Fider of all time, Mr. Muhammad Ali.

Oh, you would be remissed. Now, he's funny. Funny man. He's always cracking wild. I watched that movie, Ali. And, I mean, that movie slaps. Yeah, and Will Smith, you know, is already funny. So to add, is that the book, by the way?

Not too late. Write it down. A little epilipal. I got it, I got it. But, so, I mean, you disagree. You think the horses would. In theory, I thought that at least we'd have one or two great ones, just with how many horses coming in, how many birds,

how many training montages we have to have for horses and horses. And then, you know, the burials, the incinerations. In the freezers beating up a... Freeze a horse meat. That's left over from the day before. from the dead horses. Thawing them back out in the giant microwave, etc. Yeah, you guys do have that giant microwave.

Yes, we do. Giant microwave. Here, one of my other tinkretures. Mm-hmm. You're an inventor. I'm an inventor. Some sue me. But you make things giant that already exist. Yeah, it's easier to see that way.

My eyes are going, Scott. And mostly it's just for horse stuff. It's a lot of horse technology. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, of course. This is a horse microwave. Of course.

I would say a couple things here. We mentioned the microwave before, but Scott's always so surprised by when we talk about that stuff. That's because he's never taking us up on that invitation to come visit the ranch. That's right. I've never been by. I really want to go at some point. I would love to. We should go together sometimes. Make a day trip of it or a- I'd love to go up. I'd love to see the get some taffy. I'd love to. And tell me, the one thing I feel like we almost never touch on is the honey.

You know, that sweet treat known as honey. That's right, because it is Calvin's family bee honey taffy farm and horsefighting ranch. And I love knowing that it's honey from bees. Is this a family of bees? It's a byproduct. It's a beehive. If you may recall, the bees are mostly there to sting the hooves of the fighting horses. That's right.

So they swell up to boxing glove size. That's what the bees is there for. Of course, I do remember that. Honey is sort of just this aftermath of mess. A byproduct. And then we just make the taffy from that. So it's all... It's an auroboros, if you were.

It's an orboros. It's an oroboros. It's just a plain Oroboros. It's honestly, we've described it like that many times. A boros of GOROS. That's right. Well, I want to hear how you train the bees to do this, but we need... We're coming up on the...

Okay, come here. Oh, my God. Do you mind telling you that on air? Maybe after a break. All right, Bever. we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have more Jason Manzoukis, more Beaver Hoopox, more Chico Hans, more Bisbee St. Hancock, a.k.a. The Calvin Striplets. And one last appearance from Louis Armstrong. That's right. Just one more. And it can't be now because we want to save him in case something happens.

We'll be right back. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's Beaver. Wait, Kool-Aid, man. Oh, shit. We're going to be right back with more comedy back back after this. Comedy Bang Bang, Bang, Bang. We're back. Jason Manzukas is here. Hey, of course. Taskmaster Series 19. And are you excited for Series 20? That's probably coming out very soon. 20 has already come out. Sorry, no, 21 as well. With Ku-Mal. Yes, the Kamail is going to be on. And it's, I'm very excited. I think. And Armando Ionucci, who created Veep. Yeah. It's a great cast. I've already seen a little bit of it. And it's very funny.

Okay. Hey, Mr. Scottley. Yes, busy. How come you've never let us put one of our Kammer. on your TV show here. It's not a TV show. It's a podcast. He says begrudgingly. And I would love to have a commercial. You've never sent me any commercial. Do you guys want to record one right now? Didn't we send him a bunch? No, I don't think so. I thought I told Chico to mail it over, Chico. I didn't have the mailing address, so I sent it via fax. And, Scott, have you been receiving your faxes?

I did not receive any facts. Well, I think it's, no, no, no, a facsimile. A fax, F-A-X. Different thing, but I haven't received one of those either. Well, it's also, it's hard to send a, like, I'm assuming, yes, a message that contains an audio recording. And video. That's right. Oh, and video?

Yeah. Oh, now that's interesting as well. 3D. You could send the ones and zeros over, and if I decoded them correctly, they would. But, like, do you guys have, is there, do you have a jingle that goes, do you have any kind of? Let's just lay one down. Hey, you like, honey? Do you like, horse fighting?

Do you like taffy? Well, you, you've got the place for you. That's right. Come on there. The cabin stripless horse riding daffy, bee honey. Have a good old flip-flopping, quip-quopping, snippy, snippy, snippy, good old time with a family of eight or less. Straight out of L.A. on the 405 North.

Turn and get off. No families of 90. On the 406. But not that type of get-off. Sunday, Sunday! All day long. What's the greatest horse frightening in all of California and Tampa?

But stay home if you don't like seeing dead horses. Bye-bye. 50% off on stick-flavored taffy this October online. Oh, yeah. Oh, there he is. He came in for that, adding a little starwadage to a commercial. That was a good friend of ours, Lewin. No, we know who, yeah.

Oh, you know. Yeah. That is cool. Now, the only way that I think that could be better is if... We replicate it exactly. No, I was going to just say, I feel like somebody in the audience can put that to music and you can... I think that would be great. The one thing I do want to say is Bisbee.

You seem to be doing, like, putting a little stank on it. I would love to see one where you just threw it away. Yeah, I can do that. You didn't sound like yourself. Well, I took a commercial acting class and they told me to pick a character and lean into it. Oh, really? Okay. I did like an old-timey sort of... Who taught the class?

Was it one of these guys? Leslie Khan. Leslie Khan. Okay. The Constitute. Of course, yes. Got to find the thought. Yep.

Yep. Yep. That's right. Find the turn. Find the reversal. And also, let's just break it down for a little bit and check in with everybody. See how we're doing for about 75% of the class. Yeah.

Let's light 50 candles. Hey, you want some money? you, Leslie. Not ringing any bells for me. I was like, never taking an acting class. Be honey, taffy farm and horse fighting ranch. Bring the whole family for families of eight or less. Hope you like taffy.

And honey and bees. Ah, and horse fighting. The best horse fighting in all of California and Tampa. Head on, straight on up the 405. Get off of the 406. On to the 407, 408, 409 just goes round and round in a circle. Don't you dare get off that way. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

50% off on stick candy all this October. Stay home if you don't like dead horses. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's getting better. And I will say that had, I'm going to say, at least 85% same material. Yeah. Which is impressive. No, no, no, that is.

Those are high odds. We made some minutes on the fly. Now, different members. said we recast. We recast. I liked that you all weren't on on the same lines. We'll do it one more time.

We're not afraid to pass the ball. And Pisbee, do you want to... You want me to throw it away? You got a team full of John Stockton too. Now I felt like it was too little. Okay, I'll go back to the Constitute. Now it feels over-rehearsed. Overthoughts and overwrots.

Just remember, like, this is your business. This is what you do every day. I honestly would love to hear it if you maybe were to impersonate like a famous celebrity or something like that. Oh wow. Sure. Like who? Yeah, yeah. Or maybe all of you could just do impersonations or something. Yeah. You do any impressions? Uh, yeah. You just turn.

Bizby's always... Well, I'm sure all of these are in the joke book, right? I'm known for my impressions. You are. Yeah, give me anybody. Oh, anybody. Um, Carrie Grant's. In a subject to talk about? Okay. Getting a, taking the library book out from the library. Okay, there's Carrie Grant. Uh, taking a lot.

book out of the library. And would you play the librarian, Beva? It would be my honor. You're down on one knee. Wow, this is romantic. Sivory is not dead when it comes to impromptu impressions. I love this library. I'd like to take this Hardy Boys book out for the day.

Oh my god. Carrie Crant. I'm your biggest fan. Hey, not today, missus. He's got here holding a gun on. me. Hey, get down. Get on the floor. I'm laying down. I'm a family. You dirty little

slut. Pull up your skirt. Please, Mr. Graham. Please don't. What the fuck are you doing over there? Who's it? Brad. Brad Pitt. You goddamn right. It's Brad Pitt. Put the gun away. I'll put it away. Brad Pitt.

Spoiled my plan again. Put the skirt down. Thank you, Mr. Grant. And thank you. you, Mr. Pitt. But I'm taking the Hardy Boys book. All the way home.

And I'll read it too. Not if you don't got a library card, you fuck. Damn it, Pitt. You're never going to let me win. Well, look who's here at the library.

Jack. Jack? No. It's me, Louis Armstrong. This is his speaking voice. I've never heard it before. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Incredible. Wow. That's a good commercial right there. That is for the library. That's for Libby, the library app. And that's my least best. Oh, wow.

That's your least best. And that's the best way to say that. Yep. It's the fastest, most efficient way to say my worst. That's my least best. Like, stick was our least best flavor of taxi. That's right. That's right.

Wow, that was like, I felt transported. I really did to. That was immersive. Do you guys ever think about doing, adding an element to what you're already doing, which is kind of immersive theatrical, kind of almost like a. Exactly. Once the families of eight or less. We have a Halloween horror night or that kind of thing.

Yeah, that's interesting. When you enter the, when you enter the ranch, when you enter the ranch, when you You enter. Immersion. It's everything. Outdoor theater. Calvin's family, bee honey,

taffy farm and horse fighting ranch impressions. Yes. Or when times are hard on the dollar. Something like that. Escape room could be a

component of it where people have to move through. They maybe have to fight a horse. Or people lock you up and you have to escape. We have to, no. Oh, a reverse escape room.

Oh, whoa. That's pretty cool. Beva. Bavah. Hey, Scott, why don't we go over here? Hey, Chico, what are you doing about now? You know how Jason just said the word, transport?

And then he said some stuff about stuff we could do with the ranch. And then we were talking about how Scott has never been to the ranch? What if we kidnapped these two right now? We took them up to the ranch. Well, I mean, Bisbee still has that real gun. He used as a prop during the carry-grant. You still got that gun? I always carry my real gun.

Thank God. We could bring them up to the immersive experience up at the ranch, the one we've been working on but ain't told nobody about? The one that is our version of the Hoop-Di-Doo review? The one that all of us know exactly what it is and are excited to show it off at equal measure? With our opening song that we've never performed live but we've practiced in secret for years. The one that we've got the perfect captive audience for. Because they're tied up by us.

Hey, guys. Hey, what's going on? Hey, oh, Jason. Did you ask you something, Scott? Oh, Jason and I are back to do the show. We just took a little sidebar over there to discuss kind of what we wanted to ask you. But before we ask you these questions, we won't. You promenaded around the parlor. We did, but we want to turn our backs to you, if you don't mind, just to confer one last time.

That's a great idea. Listen, we would only turn our backs on you because we trust you implicitly. Yes. We know you would never do anything to us. This puts us in an incredibly vulnerable position. Yes, exactly. Cool. So.

Here with a law! Get out for the belt. I just got his belt loose. Oh, no, my belt. Drag them. Grab them up in the tree. You're coming with us, and you're going to like it. Oh, no.

Hold on. Hold on. Bispy's having a seizure. Don't let me know of those. Don't let me go out of it. Come on. Sorry. Violence.

Wait. Violence does that to me. Question. Has time passed? No. About 30 seconds. Stop talking. Put the bag back over your head.

Do I got hit him with a log again? Why is it? Ow! How! Why is the bag over my head? Is it because I'm ugly or? So you don't know where you're going? Oh, okay.

Hit him with the log. Come on. God damn. All right, so where are we going? Get in the back of the Volvo. Okay. Wow. Fine.

You could have just asked us. I got the mics. Hold on. Let me plug these into the battery here. All my tinkering is. It's coming useful right now. Okay. All right.

Here we go. Now we can move mobily and freely without ever losing quality and sound. So it's going to sound good, but we will also hear the ambient sound of us driving through Los Angeles. Oh, wow. A trolley? I guess a trolley just went by in the Doppler effect. That's right. But one neighborhood of Los Angeles, Goodyot, didn't get to.

Here we are, the exit off the 405. Yep, we've been driving. This is really quick. Time has now passed. It's a Volvo. You know she rips. There we are. Okay.

Get them out, but it's their mics to it. Where are you taking us? You take the 405 to the 406. Here, chew on this. See if you can guess the flavor. Try it. Stick? Lim.

Lim? I got it Yeah One stick You got limb Okay We got a lot left over It didn't melt in the rain

So this is Do you mind if we take our bags off? You can take them off now And okay Gaze upon the stage Oh wow beautiful Oh this is a shit hole Wait what did you just say?

I said it's beautiful Oh oh I mean it's just No guys yeah it's beautiful Compared to being in the studio I don't mean to insult our kidnappers Welcome to the show Shit do I already have Stockholm

intro? I said this shit all was beautiful. What the fuck is wrong with me? Wait, what did what did Bisby say? What's your name? Huh? What's your name? Huh? I don't, I don't Oh my god, that is the biggest horse I've ever

Oh, whoa, whoa, there's a There's a fight in progress. That's happening right now. I guess they said the fights never seen. Oh, God. Oh, God. I thought the horses killed. Oh, no, that was a horse carrying a gun? Okay, now it's in the horse microwave.

Oh, God. It just, it was like, it was like Brundlefly. It was like in the fly when he turns the baboon inside out. Now Bisbee's eating the horse. Who put that fucking horse in the microwave? Brad Pitt's here? The microwave is for thawing out frozen horses. We're sorry about that, Bradley.

Come on. Get it together. Wait, he works here. You're right. works here. Yes. He's part of the pit crew. Oh, this makes sense.

Put that in the book. No, Noah Wiley is here as well. Noah Wiley. That's me. No Wiley. That is a flawless impression. Hey, give me four

c-tips and a napkin stat. Oh, this Tom Bin backpack? Come on, Noah Wiley. So wait, what did you say earlier? You said, welcome to the show? That's right. You guys have the, a show or something?

I'm Brian Cox. Brian Cox is in this show? This is amazing. I am such a fan. I appreciate it. So first, sit and watch this. Say bye, blah, blah for us, please.

Oh, I love the way he threw it away. Oh, it's so good. A big mac. So he's just doing the intro. It's so cool. How many shows a day are you guys going to do? It's rolling. It never stopped.

It just never stopped. Okay. So Brian Cox. People can come in and out. Why am I explaining this to you? It's shutting rounds. It's a little bit like row, roll, row your bone. Okay.

But as a stage show, we've had a family amusement, animal fighting, sweet treat, farm ranch. I guess since we're here, we may as well enjoy the show. This is exciting. I like that we're out of the studio and we're experiencing stuff that normally we're only talk about which sucks. Exactly, yeah, just hearing people's stories about things. Now we're actually, what was that? Oh, there's a new fight.

New fight going. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is brutal. Oh, my God. This is like horse MMA. We have a winner. Wow. And a loser. Get the gun. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I have to say, I always thought the horses were

killing each other. Not an employee Shooting them Hey Who's shooting the fucking horses Hey hey They already killed one another You don't got to shoot them

Oh my God Put them in the freezer Not the microwave Sorry about that Bradley Microwave is for thawing He just exploded Another horse In the micro

In the microtap Bada pah Hey You super troopers Better write more speeding tickets. Wait a minute. It's Brian Cox from Super Troopers. I guess.

From everything I've done. Holy shit. I had no idea, Brian Clarkson. I'd be a huge part of this. Oh, that's right. From Man Hunter. Yeah. Whoa, here I come.

He's got a huge role. He's also, he's also just doing absolutely brilliant free association. It's like he's doing a pattern. game and we're going to have to do a herald after this using only the stuff he's brought up. What flavor is this one? This is Robert? That's right.

Gary? How did they get? Yes, them both. I don't know. Very specific. I don't know. It just kind of came out of my mouth. And I just knew, yeah. And if you could, at the end, just scan this QR code or call that number. At the end of what? At the end of what? You guys haven't done anything yet.

Brian Cox is the only person who's doing this show. Dial it. I'm on my union break. There'll be a series of questions. Okay. Speaking of feedback. Speaking of breaks, before the show starts, do you mind if we take a break? Is that okay?

Before it starts, it's rolling. You're the clock, man. That's why I unplugged all the mics and your laptop to continue recording. That's right. And keep track of the time period. Do you want to hear our commercial one last time before you live? Let's go to break on the commercial. Go ahead.

Be you like honey. Do you like horse? of the rarest and most masculine uniforms. And do you like Taffy? No kids with braces, please. The best horse-flatin in all of California. And Tampa. Sunday, Sunday.

And if you're coming out of L.A. Go north on the 405 until you get to the 406. Don't get off that way. Don't come if you don't like dead horses. Bye-bye. Month of October. 50% off a stick-flamed at Taffy. Wow. And we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang, bang after this.

Comedy Bang Bang, Bang, we're back. Jason Manzuka and I have been taken captive by the Calvin's triplets. We are currently exposed to the elements. We were tied up, hooded. Yes, we were taken to the ranch. We've watched, I'm going to say, half dozen horses. More horses have died in the last period. of this podcast than in all of Luck Season 1. And meanwhile there are, it's like a sports bar with all of the television sets everywhere showing episodes of Walking Dead. You know what I wasn't prepared for? I wasn't prepared for

how many horses would be here watching the fight. Oh yeah, the horses are the main spectators. Don't shoot. Don't shoot it. Oh, no. Damn, what did I say? I guess I expected more human beings watching everything, but this free... Oh no. They just Put it in the freezer.

Come on. I think the show's starting, Jason. Okay, good. Here we go. The show's so, shush, shush, sh, sh, okay. Welcome from all over the country. And where are you from, young sir? I've got to say, I don't think having Bisbee host was a good idea.

Where are you from, young, sir? Where are you? The most beta. Anyway, I'm from L.A., Los Angeles. Oh, interesting. Hey, I want to run down to Holly. he went down to Hollywood

So what do you do for a living? It abandoned that song Immediately So what do you do for a job? So Brian Cox introduces the show And then you do crowdwork? It just does like Matt Rife-style crowdwork? What is this?

I wish Listen And what do you have for a job? I'm a podcaster. Podcaster. Speak into the microphone. Speaking to the microphone. Bring the microphone.

Hey, sir. I'm raising my hand. Oh, over in the corner, sir. Yeah, this sucks. Oh. Sit back down. It's a work in progress. We'll do a talk back after.

Okay, okay. It's everybody do your best impression time. Horse impression, that is. Here's cinnamon. Here's what? Holly. Bah-da-ba-da-p-pap-bap-bap. Right.

Ryan Cox, ladies and gentlemen. Wait a minute. I have a question. Now is the winter of our dish. Oh, wow, actually, this is lovely. This is glassing it up. And that's the intermission. Feel free to make your way to the concession stands.

Fill up on taffy. Fill up on soft drinks. The bulk of the first act seemed to consist of maybe a minute and a half? Is it a lopsided show? And a bunch of it was horse impressions for horses I've never met. Okay. Now the horse fighting is gone back.

I don't know what cinnamon sounds like. Oh, man, the horses are, oh, God. I wasn't prepared for how much the bees. Do not pick up that gun. Do not pick up the horse is dead. It's dead. Put the gun down. It's already dead.

Don't do it. Don't do it. Shoot it into the ground if you got to shoot. Shoot it into the ground if you got to shoot. Scott, hands off your belt. You're blowing into the... Or just put it down. You don't have to do it.

What are you doing? Why? Down, into the ground. Don't do it. The horse is dead. Don't blow on the gun. Don't blow on the gun. Don't do it.

Don't pull the trigger. It's stupid. It's stupid to do this. Don't pull the trigger. Come on. Come on. This is the part of the show where the audience decides what's going to happen. What did you do?

We didn't decide. We didn't decide. Oh, God. At least they didn't put it in the, oh no. Oh, it's going in the microwave. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, freezer. Mr. Pid, you got to stop this. Jesus.

Way! Hello, this is King George. the third. Oh, wow. Please silence your cell phones. And welcome to my show. Oh, whoa. Okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Act two is starting with Ryan Cox doing his own one-man show, I guess? Is that what he's saying? I'd like to take out this Hardy Boys book. Oh, my goodness, Mr. Grant. I'm your biggest touch.

We're back at the library. Hey. Hey. Do you think I can get your autograph? I'll give you my autograph. In the shape of a gunshot. You've got a golden. It is a real gun.

Pull up your skirt. A little slut. Please, Mr. Grunt, not like this. Oh, Mr. Grech. I used to be your biggest fan, but not anymore. You're a violent, awful, hateful man. Helen Green. In the flesh.

From Little Shop of Horrors. And me and him? Every time. I'm Ellen Green. Every time you ruin it. Put away the gun and pull out your library card or you're not welcome. You want me to pull out my library card or you want me to pull out my library card? Are those the only two options?

Maybe also pull out your library card? Please silence yourself. Sorry, sorry. Have it removed. Yeah, please take me back to the studio. Excuse me, sir. Can you come with us? Yeah, sorry.

You don't have to take it. You don't have to take it away. We're part of the show. We were with the guys. No, we understand. If anybody makes a noise back here, no, no, sorry. We came with the guys.

Can we see your tickets? No, we don't have tickets. We were abducted us. Does this? We were doing a podcast. Serve as a ticket. If you don't have tickets, we have to have you leave. No, no, no.

You see it. We would love to leave. We don't have a way to come back to the show, but you have to watch a video. Wait a minute. What? That will tell you how to properly behave when you're at the show. video. Okay. We'll take you into the room. Great.

Hello, I'm Christoph Walsh, and welcome to how to be a good theater attendee. These guys have a lot of they have been connections. They are hooked up. Carrie Grant's right. Archie Leach himself? A lot of people go to a comedy show and think that it's okay

to be loud. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Here to show us how to be a good audience member is Miss Nevcambe. Neff Campbell from the screen franchise. Party of what? Five. Look at her face. To be a good audience member, what you...

Sounds just like her. What you have to do is sit quietly. Quietly. Now, many of you are wondering what the word quietly means. It harkens back to ancient Greece. Oh, whoa. When the first theater attendees would sit not only without making any noise, but would also cross their knees.

Oh, got it. Hold in any bodily functions that might fall from there. We hope that watching this video will help you. Oh, oh, it's already at the end. Go back into the Twitter and behave yourself. Okay, well, we watch the video. Do you guys think you understand? You think you can behave?

Be quiet and cross our knees. Every kidnep, he gets one warning. This was yours. Oh, wow. Wait, so how many people that are, are here are here as spectators because they were kidnapped and brought here. Oh, okay. Because I can't help but also notice that there are a lot of other people with microphones. Yeah, a lot of podcasters are here. So do you guys just go on podcasts, abduct them and bring them up here?

That's because Mr. Hopox is a tinkerer of sorts. Oh, right. Is everyone here a kidnapped podcaster? Like, I see the host of cereal over there and I see Bruce Springsteen over there and Obama. Uh, One, three One, how come you're not taking him out? What's going to find?

Bees stinging their hooves. Wait a man, Calvin's triplets. Shit, the boss cast? Like Muhammad Ali, they're kind of funny, but don't laugh at your books.

Calvin Stripless, did you just go on a bunch of podcasts this week and kidnap all of the hosts? Maybe. Who's to say we did or didn't? Lock the gate. He's bad. Damn it. Wow. Maron. Maron got out.

No, that was Maherm. Oh, okay. Yeah, very similar. Oh, wow. Okay, we'll be quiet. Just. Yeah, we want to, we do want to watch the rest of the show. Let us be clear. We don't want to be disruptive. But we were brought here against our will. Yes. So. And do I do fear that I am, you know, susceptible to Stockholm syndrome and may never leave here. But I also don't want to be just kicked out of, I don't know our way back. I don't have a way of home. I think we have to figure that out. I know. It feels like an escape room scenario. Yeah, or reverse escape room perhaps.

Yeah. We left them there. They're going to have to find their own way out. That's right. We're back in Scott's house. Look at this place. This is crazy. It's excellent.

What's all the stack of floppies here? Let's leaf through. Floppies for hospice. He didn't tend to give Every one of these single issues Of Neil Gaiman's work of art A bunch of... Maybe not those.

No. Sorry, I... Sorry, Bever. This is Scott Ogerman. I... No, he's back! We're caught under the table. I ran back all the way home.

Wait, you got all the way back? I got all the way back. Oh, I didn't know if you were on a ring cam kind of situation. I was... That's what I intended. But it appears that I'm back. It does appear that you're back. And I guess so am I.

Yes. You, I carry you piggyback style. We hitchhiked after a while and we made it. And we're finally back. And guys, we really don't appreciate you taking advantage of our good graces here to kidnap us along with all of these other podcasters. We saw we. We're sorry. You know what?

You know what? I can't stay mad at them, you know? They give us those big puppy horse eyes. and I just get all like, oh, I feel. Wow. Can we have a kiss? Wait a minute. Are you talking to each other or us?

Everybody. Can we have a little smooch? A five-way? Smooch? Everybody all in. Won't you thumb them bit loops and lean in for a little puck? I guess I mean, why not? All right.

Wow. Wow. Now, don't that just make everything better. It tastes like, like, uh, uh, leaves. That's it. Scott, I have to say, haven't had you at our home. Makes me grateful and appreciative for how many times

you have had us over to your domicile. It's my pleasure, but I have to say you kidnapped us. You took us out to see the show that you were hyping up, and at intermission you guys left and came back to my house. We never got to see the second act of the show.

I mean, I will say that just as a way to kind of hype up the show for people who might be listening is It starts strong. Brian Cox comes out. I had no idea. Brad Pitt. And everyone's like, whoa.

A list stars are there. Now, and we were only there for the first half and saw, I'm going to say, at least five to seven horse deaths. Yeah. But within the space of 90 seconds, during which Bisbee did crowd work. Yes. Which wasn't even real crowd work style. It was bad. It was Matt Rice.

It was bad. Just bad crowdwork. Work on some jokes. Work on some actual jokes. Maybe from the joke book. Well, if you don't have jokes, you do crowd work. That's right. So what is this?

And you're saying you're relocating to Austin? Yeah. The mothership. The mothership calls. That's right. Yeah. I'm going to try out. I'll try out.

And if I get it, I'll get it. If I don't. Do they have auditions there? My now and a half from Tampa, right? And are you guys still at the Horse Ranch doing that show Kill Horsey? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's cool.

Great. I like that. So what, what, It does happen in the second act. My interest is peaked. I mean, you know, I'm not saying necessarily I want to be kidnapped again to see the second act. Well, Tico is the director of the show. Oh, cool.

Okay. It's true. Is that why you're wearing these jodpers and the megapiding crop? Well, it's a horse ranch. Oh, that's. We're always wearing joddifers. No, all three of you are. Yeah, I just noticed that.

What's your vision? Well, as we set up. top it's an immersive experience you didn't say that to us i believe you said that when we were conferring i believe that was our punch up you know how like the first half first half of barbarian is like one movie uh-huh and then the second half it just goes apes shit crazy sure when when conan gets the sword right that's right what did you think conan the barbarian you're thinking of if i had legs i kick you when he finally gets that sword jane jane jr jane jr jones yes of course yeah well Our show's kind of like that.

Oh, wow. We really take the power back in the, in the second half. Okay. You'd see that. From whom? From, from everybody who's taking it from us over the years. Okay. Oh, so the second half is kind of like a revenge. Like a rising of the phoenix from the ashes.

Like a John Wick. That's right, which, like a rising of the phoenix, which we hope to rise this year. Back to our glory days. What were your glory days? When? Did you steal that from Bruce Springsteen when he was kidnapped there? When he was up there doing the boss, the boss cast. No, no, no, I remember. Busby came into the house and he said,

I think this is a flashback. Hey, he's stroking. No, it's just a stroking. Okay, it's not a fuckback. What were you saying? You remember what? He walked in and he said, I was thinking back to the glory days. I was thinking back to the glory days.

And I looked in the wink of a young girl's eye. Glory days. Sounding very familiar. They'll pass you by. Sure, that's right. Glory days. That's the one part that you seem to remember. And then he had his first seizure.

Wow. That's when they started. Really? Yeah, every time we perform the second half, I have had a little bit of a seizure. We can't get past that. because everybody, every other cast members solid on their feet. Brian Cox is fine.

Bradley Pitt is fine. The dancers. Neff Campbell. The flashing strobe lights don't, you know. That might be it. Epilepsy. Yeah. The dancers?

No, no. Did you say flashing dancers? That I would like to see. Yeah. My belt loops are. The flashing. Please. Down boy.

Kidnap me back. I didn't see any flashing dancers. But if you said flashing lights, Bisby, I think you might be an epileptic. You might suffer from the affliction known as epilepsy. Yeah, any kind of strobe light or anything like that? Do you have any problems

like that? I don't think so. Let me flash this flashlight in your eyes rapidly. Oh, no, he's having another seizure. Yeah. Okay. Don't. Don't have this seizure.

Don't. Hey. Ben it. Cut it. That feels better That worked That worked Do you think you're cured?

I mean, I try it again Okay, let's see this We could ask Robert Smith He's in the second act of our show Robert Smith from the cure? From the cure? Yes, it's me Robert Smith

And Am I cured? You're cured Officially Well, I guess that is The question. Wow. That I would

wasn't expecting that here today. That's incredible. Robert Smith, I'm such a huge fan. Massive fan. Bye-bye. Oh, bye. Wow. How cool. How cool. How cool. He looks great. He looked great. His hair is still

an unkempt mop upon his hair. To the heavens. I love it. I love it. So, Bisbee, do you think you could do the second act now? Oh, it's a group number. Okay. Well, I mean, Jason and I, even though we don't want to be kidnapped again, We will help in any, we will, we are here.

Starts out a little bit slower. It would seem that life is imitating art, which is imitating the art of the life where we kidnapped you in the middle. That's right. In the first place. I guess so. Can we hit him with the logs again? I really wish you. Oh, go.

Here we go. Get out on the road. I don't read it back up there. Could we just do it in the studio? Up the 405, getting off on the 406. Here we are. I'm out. Sit down.

You know how long this is going to take? Probably in Noah Wiley. Put it in the book. Put it down. God damn it, I'm writing it down. Okay. All right, can we take our hoods off? Take them off.

And get ready for the best thing you've ever seen. And here it is. It's starting up. The second act of the show. Oh, wow. Okay. Hi, everyone. I'm Scott Ackerman.

Oh, and I'm here with my good friend. That's me. Jason Manzookas. This is weird. This is so weird. That's exactly, that's me in the middle of us. Hey, this is Jason Manzuka. And that sounds exactly like you. That sounds like my very identifiable voice. Been on Broadway. Who cares? It's not a big deal. He brags like me too. Did we act on this show and we don't remember it? It's very good. It's very compelling. Hey, I like, I can listen and talk at the same time. That's the way people do it. Don't talk over me. Don't talk over me. Oh, get out of here. I'm not gonna. Who's our guest today?

We have a very special guest lined up, and he's sitting right over there. He needs no introduction because he's going to introduce himself. It's Paul F. Tompkins. Wait, how come he didn't introduce himself? Bye! Oh, gosh. He left. He left.

That was either Paul or the Joker. I can't tell. And now's the time in the show where we have to say goodbye. Oh. Is this the in-memorium? Can I just say that I feel like I haven't gotten my money's worth in any of this? Oh, wait a minute. Jason, hold on a second.

Someone from the audience is interrupting. Is that one of the Calvin's triplets out there? Wait a minute. I'm one of the Wee Calvins, Breedalvin's, conflavans, balvin's, malvins over here. Well, ha! I'm here. too. It's me another Calvin's. And then

I'm also here the Bidjby. Sean Connery. Yes. Money Penny. Get me by James Bond style gun if you don't mind. No that's not how you sound. It's you can't. It's not what I'm talking

about. I'm the other one now. Sometimes the only way to get through to the woman is with the back of your hand. You're the dog now, son. Buy up the last one. That's the Chicago way And this is merely the beginning Put the gun down

That's from the event Brad Pitt is pissed The Marvel one We've got We've got horses of courses Of courses of courses If you want to see some horses They're gonna fight

And they're gonna sing And then you're gonna hear a ring ding ding Go down to the soar and buy a little taffy Get a little wacky Do a little thing You're gonna try to sing but you only say waffy, taffy comes out your mouth. Boro, boros, oro, booro, snake eating his tail, snake eating his tail.

It's a new flavor of taffy, and it's a way of imagining the show. And cinnamon sleeps in the middle of the night. Cinnamon comes all nice and tight. She's like, tight, tight coma, that's all cinnamon. Tad, Tocomah, Tumma. She's going to win. Hey! Saying goodbye is always hard.

Saying goodbye is not my favorite card. I pull from the deck during the magic trick. Hey, what's the matter with you? You're coughing. You're sick. I am a sickly little lady. I need a floppy, floppy thingy. Good, Scott, give me a single issue of Batman's.

Wow. This is like Gilbert and Sullivan level. This is incredible. This is topsy, turvy. I am a little tinker. I go into my ocean, and then I like to take it, and I'll do a little welded button.

Then I'll take it to the other one, and then I can record sound anywhere, and it is really fun. So grab your suitcase. Oh, wow. Grab your taffy. Grab your pamphlet. Grab, you laugh.

He won't be as happy in the morning. He won't be as happy when he's scorn in. He's a town for losers. Spreezy. Brian Cox. Oh, bum bum bum bum bum bum. Oh, my God. And now Obama's getting in on this?

just on instruments. Just just He's picked up a guitar. He's shredding. That slide guitar. He's shredding.

This is incredible. Wow. Wow. Thank you. And I bet we'll be together for a million years. I bet

will be together. For a million more. So gentle. If you take my hand, then I finally understand. The honey is the sweetest parts of the ranch. The honey is the sweetest part of the ranch. But don't forget about the taffy, taffy.

Bing, pink. And the bees. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. The second half of the show. was incredible. I had low expectation. Jason is standing up.

I'm not going to go that far because my my ankles are chained together and I was receiving shocks. No, that was just you're lower in your belt loops. Oh, wow. That's right. That was... I had low expectations, but that surpassed

the low expectations. What was incredible was it was so smart to set the expectations low by having the first half be mostly horse deaths. Yeah. And bad crowd work? A bad crowdwork horse. horse deaths and horse implosions in the microwave.

The second half had none of that. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, it's still going on. His horse deaths are still continuing. I guess they took a break for the show. Is this the encore? Okay, they're not going to pick up the gun again.

Don't do it. Don't do it. Come on, man. Don't put it down. Put it down. He's a simple. Assembling the rifle. Grab the gun.

Grab it. And put him out of his misery. Come on. He's got a scope on a shotgun. Oh, the noon. Oh, no. It's a belt.

It's a belt. It's a belt. It's a belt. Straight in the. Oh, my God. Damn. Oh. You know it's wrong.

You know you're doing it wrong. Come back in the microwave. Oh, no. Not the microwave. Oh, no. Oh. If only they said it for slightly less time. Ryan Cox, everyone's taking their bows now.

We've had laughs, we've had tears, we addressed a lot of years. But we're still just laughing. If you enjoyed what you saw on stage, we have classes all week long. We had dances, we had lights, till we realized that it was the source of the seizures. If this looked fun to you. Now we just got dancing. You can do it too. You bought the family.

You brought the treats. We brought that seasoning. We brought the heat. Now we're going to say goodbye. Christmas is right around the corner. So gift cards are built. But no matter what you do, and no matter what you go through,

when life kicks you like a shoe, you got a laugh. Oh, that's right. I forgot you guys saying you got a laugh. Wow. Just incredible. This is great. A tour to force performance.

Well, I suppose it's time to take you lovely boys back home. Thank you so much. I would appreciate it. You know, that when I said it wasn't worth my money, you know, at the beginning of this, I mean, you guys really brought it out. That is. Now, we started this show talking about my time on Broadway. This show should be on Broadway. Yes.

This is a. this was a masterpiece, you know? And that is even if you don't have access to Brian Cox, Bruce Springsteen, even if you recast. But I bet they would do it. I'm sure, you just got to get through the hoops of Jew Jamison's

rental fees. Am I right? Am I right? Judeamison, one of the biggest owners of Broadway trainers in New York. Of course you know that. Of course he knows that. You're the Broadway guy. Of course. Of course. I know that. Yes. Of course. It's them of the Schuberts

and we both know you don't want to be dealing with the shoe. No, I'd rather be dealing with them Meterlanders. No, no, no. Don't take your hands away from your belt, sorry, sorry, sorry. That's a family name?

Okay, got it, got it. So, are you going to take us back? Back in the Volvo. Everybody back in the Volvo. Okay, all right. Oh, no. Oh, no. Did you test not fill up the tank?

Chico, I told you to get gas. The price is it too high because it's all the stuff. More horses are fighting each other. Whoa. That horse has gunshards. And a katana. Oh my gosh.

Oh my God. This is, is this a sort of horse kumae? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. The crowd is going crazy. All the other horses are. Oh, the shotgun guy. is crying.

I can't do it. Oh, no. No one wants you to do. Can't we just put them in the freezer? That's what I said. Freezer. Put it in the freezer. It's already dead.

Beverly uppities. Do it. Sixth man alive and push me around. Tell me what to do. Don't point that gun at me. It wasn't me. They got drunk on a proleting with my kids. Quit muttering.

Huh? Oh, you open the freezer? Oh, no. God, there's blood everywhere in the freezer now. This is what drives me to drink on a plane. The freezer's contaminated. We got the call work. Okay.

All right, well, we're traveling back to the studio now. It's Volvo run. And we're back. Oh, guys. So, yeah. Well, we're bail on. Yuck-em-ups, joke book. Oh, okay.

I'm more interested in the show. And it's available at only at Barnes & Noble. It's only at Barnes & Noble. One Barnes and Noble. Yes. Okay, Barn and Noble. Bonn, one and Noble. Okay.

Well, guys, I hate that you had to hit us in the back of the head with logs so many times. Just for us to watch that, I would have went willingly. We're sorry. Oh. God, and weird. Kevin's Twiipwit. We don't know right from wrong. I understand.

Well, responsible for the most amount of whole deaths in history. But guys, we are unfortunately running out of time here on the show. In fact, we only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is... Act three of our show! Oh, there's an act three? It's quick. Okay, let's see it. Welcome to the library, Mr. Gras.

I'd like to take out this Hardy Boys. The gun in your hands. What? Pull down your skirt, you little slut. Oh, no, not like this. Don't look at my butt. Hey! Hold it right there, man.

Bill Nye, the science guy. That's right. It's Bill Nye, the science guy. Every time you ruin my plan. I'll put the gun down. I'll put the gun down this time. But hey, you little slut, I'll be back. And it's not cool to call a little girl a slut.

You hear me? You dig? Yeah, I hear. I. Okay, science guy. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, remember everything that we were saying about it being a masterpiece. We wanted to leave it on a high note.

No, you had it on a high note. You can always edit. It's hard. Yeah. It's hard because rule of the first act and the third act. Rule of threes does dictate that we did have to go back to the library and do that scene again. But diminishing return. Yeah, gilding the lily.

Just, just. Wow. Get your hand off who's better. I'll stop gild your lilies. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, guys, we are running out of time on the show.

We only have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. One, two, one, two, three, four. Give me a beef, give me a beef me off a piece of that plug back, Scott. Give me a beep, give me a beef, beef me off a piece of that plug back, Scott. Beefing, Ground Beefing episode. All right, that was, Give Me a Beef by Sean Vogel. Wonderful stuff.

By the way, that did remind me that some of your song in Act 2 sounded a little like the, I believe, the Family Ties theme. I thought so, too. I thought maybe lawyers were going to come in and shut everything down. We had to change it halfway through.

Yeah. But guys, what are we plugging here? Jason Manzugas, what do you want to plug? You obviously can't. to announce something big on the horizon. No, but I'll, I'll mention, like you said, Taskmaster Season or Series 19 available now on YouTube. How Did This Get Made Podcast? And then shows that I love but have nothing to do with are Dark Winds, Season 4 on AMC, and Shorzie, Season 5 on Hulu. Two incredible shows that need more people watching them, so I'm shouting them out.

Because you want to watch them more. Because I want to watch them more. You're but one man. And I am but one man with multiple logins. Yes, that's right. And let's see, Chico Hands. What do you want to plug? Well, I did want to make a brief mention of our new line of top shelf, taffy liqueurs. Okay, liqueurs.

All celebrities are doing like a beverage of some kind. Wait, but is this coffee? It's a beverage. So it's liqueur that tastes like taffy, not the reverse. That's right. Okay, great. But also, I was making the first. pun that it's a beaver.

Like bever-ish. Oh, got it, a bever it. It's my first name. Is that pun on the label? So it's like bever-hy-hifen edge? It's written right on there, of course. Okay. And these are the only taffy-based liqueurs known in the entire northern hemisphere or the

southern hemisphere. Oh, that's the entire west of the west. You've got both, you've got all hemispheres covered. We're covered as far as hemispheres. It's a full quadrant. Above and below the prime meridian. That's right. We'll make sure to send you.

a few bottles, gratis. Okay? Try them out. I would love that. If it would cure a headache, I mean, you hit me with the log really, really bad. Yeah, it's good for that. Yeah. For sure. And it's all the, all the flavors of the liqueur are from your taffees.

That's right. Wow. So what are we talking like? What's it taste like? You know how certain liqueurs taste like licorish or what is yours taste like? Yeah, we got one of those? We got one that tastes like Branch.

We got one that tastes like Shirt. When you said Branch, do you mean Branjolina? Oh, boy. we should have wrapped up earlier. Branch. Jalina. Oh, no. Because he works there, obviously.

At Jalina, the restaurant? Yes, he works at Jolina. And we're working on BlackBerry. Is that where Al Pacino and Robert did you're over? No, that was Cape Mantellini. Yeah, it was Cape Mantellini, yes. And Bisby St. Hancock, what do you want to plug?

That's my name. Yep. I'd like to plug the Gillette Mach 3. Razor, the closest shave you can find on the market. Gillette, the best the man can get. Are there off-market razors that can shave you closer? Like, you know. No.

So this is the best you can get on the market and off-market. This is the best the man can get. Okay. It's from Gillette. The Mach 3, Gillette Razor. Okay, sure. You're going to pay more. Yeah.

How much more? At least 60% more. Quite a generic raiser. Why are you so invested in this this razor? Well, I don't want to... It comes out Monday, but we may have a sponsorship at the farm.

Oh, really? Oh, wow. I'm not saying anything. No, what used to you have for razors? Are you outfitting the horses with these razors in their hooves? What are horses have on their face? What gets in the way of fighting at times? Am I right or am I wrong?

Beards? Beards. Oh. Her? That's right. Horse beards. Okay, so you need the horse's chins to be more exposed to

do the math okay you do it for me let's do it together you do the numerator you do the denominator oh this is that new map I'll write it down on the chalkboard you do the abacus I'll get the abacus

sorry I was not before I saw you take the chalk out it's a money back guarantee to Gillette Mach 3 we'll give you your money back whether you like it or you don't Well, great. I mean, yeah, I'll definitely try it out. What's up to you?

And then Bisbee, no, sorry, Beaver. Beaver Hopox. Me and my brother's been playing a lot of Taco Cat, goat cheese pizza. Mm-hmm. So check that out. Watching a lot. I have been watching. Apparently they make cartoons for adults now.

Yes, they have no idea. And there's a channel, particularly Adults Swim, is doing some of the finest work that I have seen. Gendi Tadakovsky's prime. Primal. Primal. That's right. That's right. Incredible.

It's a beautiful story tale. A masterpiece of visual storytelling, and I'm not kidding. I'm right there with you. Can I suggest another one? I'll allow it. It's called Freerin beyond Journey's End, and it is incredible. It's animated. It's not.

It's Freerin. Free R-R-E-N, I think. And it is on... It's not free. free rain. It's on Prime, I think. It's on Crunchy Row. It's like in an anime. It's incredible. Yeah. Okay. Love and promul, loving.

So funny. You guys should just hang out together. We love animated. You might be an honorary Calvin's quad. You might be the Quadrant. The Missing Quadrant. Wow. The Cure marketing boy. I was going to handle the north and Chico's doing the south and Busby was going to go west.

Bispy goes west. all favorite independent film. And you can handle the I'd love to do the east. Covering the east. Oh, I'd love to cover the east. Oh, that's the witch of the west. You're the west of the east.

Oh, you're a ness and rose. Oh, that's not a good quadrant. That's a bad quadrant. Stumble on NBC and Peacock. Been season one on Peacock and high potential on ABC. Those are worthwhile endeavors if you got nothing else to do.

Wonderful. And I want to plug CBBWorld.com. We have the entire. archive of comedy bang bang all over 950 episodes of comedy bang bang bang all add free so if you want to watch or rather listen to the entire calvin's triplets saga from the beginning it's all there at cbbbworld dot com also we have every live episode we've ever done we have other shows like we have the neighborhood listen and we have oh hey randy the gno lombardo show college town we're in the middle of the crisis on infinite bang bangs so funny um

It's great. I love the Gino show, I think, is incredibly fun. Yeah, this book saved or changed my life. I can't remember which one of it is. And so much stuff going on over there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. There's one more thing you have to do. You know what it is? One, two, three. I want to close the bag, baby, step on in. I want to close it tight. You know the way to win. I want to close that bag. I want to make it right. So just Where's in the world?

Am I? Oh, that was Cool Cat. Cool Cat at the end there. I liked that. The Cool Cat in there. That was the best part. Yeah. Well, guys, I want to thank you so much for coming by.

Jason, always good to see you. Wonderful. Thank you for having you. Wonderful to have you on your second appearance this year. What a delight. May it be many, many more. Yes, the second of many. Second of many.

I hope that is true. And the Calvin Striplets, Beaver Tico and Bisbee. So wonderful to have you back. I know you're present. Present. You're only. I know we only see you every couple of years, but I look forward to our meetings and just catching up with you.

And may time never age you and may you never travel down that road to. May the tears of God drip off the nose. Is this act four? Whoa. Oh, yeah. May the tears of God drip off the nose of a fine, fine horse onto your forehead and cool the sun's abated path to start. Spring. Wow. Carrie Grant

Incredible. Yeah. Carrie Grant had some wise benedictions for the Act 4 of this musical. Yes, somebody called Wise Benedict. Oh, Wise Benedict's is here too. Wait a second. After the plugs, a new character is being interested.

And he's cooking up eggs. Oh my gosh. Wise Benedict is making breakfast for us all. Cooking up eggs Benedict. Mixing a holiday sauce. It's mostly the egg yogurt. As someone who is catastrophically allergic to eggs, this is a terrible. This is a nightmare for you.

I got to go. Yeah. Well, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Oh, yeah. Yeah.