Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bob Odenkirk, James Austin Johnson, Carl Tart

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Scott’s old Mr. Show buddy Bob Odenkirk returns to talk about Comic Relief 8, the finale of Better Call Saul, and his future focusing on himself. Then, celebrity chef Bobby Flay stops by to talk about his new cooking show. Plus, lawyer Italiano Jones returns to fight for Scott in a mock trial.

There once was a man from Nantucket, his name was Sven, and I think he sold health insurance. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Chas Fremont III for that cash-phrase submission, Chas Fremont III, and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We have a great week. I tell you, after a few months where we had zero celebrities, no one wanted to come to my backyard. Maybe we had a David Cross once in a while here and there, but when you invite people to a backyard, celebrities mainly don't want to go there. Finally, back in the studio, all of August, we are just, the stars are out. The stars are out in the night sky.

Who do you get showing up? I don't want to say who we have. We had Patton last week. I mean, it's all people I know. Oh, holy shit. Wow, Patton. Holy shit. But we do have a big Hollywood star.

Coming up a little later, we do have a celebrity chef. We have a lawyer coming up a little bit later, and our main guest played a lawyer on television and is still playing a lawyer. He has another couple of episodes of his show. It's called I Call Sal. What is it called again? God, I get Sal. God, I get Sal. There is another episode tonight.

If you're listening to this today, it comes out. There's the final episode next Monday night. No, no. There's four more. Well, we're taping this in advance. Oh, I see, yes. Yes, as we discussed previously. I don't know how.

Radio or podcast. I'm on tour right now. I'm across the United States. I'm not here in the studio, unfortunately. But yes, there's two more episodes, one tonight. Wait, is everything I see on TV pre-taped? Yes. Even the news?

Even sports. What? Yeah, it's all happening five days earlier. The moon landing? That was the only thing that was live. No wonder I always lose in the casino. I keep talking about casinos. Yeah, I know.

We were talking about casinos before. You got casinos on the mind. And maybe that is a glimpse inside the twisted mind of our main guest here. He's got dollar signs behind his eyelids. I love that, fucking. I love he's so twisted. So twisted. So strange.

He's got to be on drugs. I've had my whole career. I know, you got to be on drugs to do the things you do. Not at all. And it's not that weird. Actually, you show up pretty early and you... Yeah, and it's like, it's never that... Usually the things that that's brought up around are not that weird.

Well, it's also not your current life is weird. It's growing up. I remember when David and I did Comic Relief 8. I remember that. And we did two pieces. We did the naked phrase guess. But also as well, we did a brief moment where we did a fake infomercial. Hey, get the comic relief t-shirt if you donate 50 bucks.

What can you use it for? It'll protect you against spaghetti and watermelon and pizza pie. All that shit. That joke. Yes. And it's just a fucking fun riff. Sure. And when we were...

And it got laughs. It was great. And when it was done, the deer, and I like her, Whoopie Goldberg goes, what was... I don't know what there are. I don't know what that was. I remember that. That was a... It was a fake infomercial.

We did the dumbest, most obvious, hornball, hackneyed thing. What do you mean? Maybe the examples of the jokes were a little far out there. I remember that being a sticking point in the office for months after that. I remember you guys flying back. There's a lot of things you could say. She could have said, no, that was hacky. Sure.

That would have been fine. I would have been like, it was. That's no sister act, too. Well, he's here. I still haven't introduced him yet. Yeah. Balcal Sal is coming up, and let's welcome him back. My old Mr. Show buddy, Bob Odenkirk, many hamburgers to you.

And many hamburgers right back. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Cheeseburgers, in fact. What? Yeah. You gave me hamburgers. I gave you cheese.

Never added cheese to our traditional greeting. This is exactly the type of weird twisted mind. I'm a generous... Yeah. Wow. Wow. Incredible. You are on drugs, Bob.

Are you not? Yeah. Bob, welcome back to the show. Great to have you here. Good to see you, buddy. You've been on since the early days. We've known each other for now. You knew me since I was a 25-year-old boy.

Now you're like a 40-year-old boy. Yeah. 24. 49. 43. Do you think I'm 43? I love that. Thank you so much.

I don't know how old you are. I appreciate it. I was thinking about when we first met each other, how I was but a boy. And I thought you were so much older than me, and I don't think you were. But... I was probably 32. You were probably 32 when we worked together, and it's like how... 33.

You know, how can you ever expect, like, and you were in charge, and you were a 33-year-old kid. I know, right? But you seem like an old guy to me. Well, I had a kind of an old guy energy. Yeah. Don't you think? Plus, you would spank us all.

Well, I was naked. Give me that. Hey, we can agree on that. I was some slack. He's totally naked. I was totally naked and greased up. I didn't just spank you. I agree.

All right, fine. It was sexual. Yes. Okay. So I'm not just trying to hurt people. But it is funny that... Trying to get off. In show business, we give these, like, boss roles to young kids just because they create

a show that's really good, you know? Right. And then you have to be in charge of a whole bunch of people. Well, I was a Saturday Night Live writer and that helped me know a bit about production because you kind of are put in charge of your pieces there. Right. And so, yeah, I had some... And you knew...

And I'd been at the Stiller Show. Right. And you knew what you didn't want to do from previous jobs. Oh, boy, did I know. Yeah. Right. You didn't want it to be on Saturday. Right.

You didn't want it to be live. Yeah. And definitely not at night. No. Never. No. Early mornings. Yes.

Obviously, it would come on at 6 a.m. depending on the time zone. Right. Right. And that was... It felt a little like cheating. Right. But those are my rules. And we did it.

And it came off well. You had eight simple rules, did you not? For putting on a television show with your teenage daughter. David Cross. That's right. You guys, of course, that was the past. The present is... I thought I'd talk about the past.

Oh, God. I mean, it's bad. I mean, you're probably doing a whole shit ton of press for better... What is the show called again? Gotta Get Sal. Gotta Gal Sal. Gotta Gal named Sal. Gotta Gal named Sal.

And is all the press done? Or do you still have more? No. Because the finale is coming up. It's not done. There's more. Okay. Always more.

Always more. Until when? Until next Emmy season? So like another year? Probably. Yeah. Because it actually will be... Yeah.

It'll be the last six or whatever or seven will be... Votable or whatever. Yeah. Coming back. I don't know what's going to happen, but I think that we're... This is our big final run here. I mean, maybe we'll get a shot next year, but the last episodes are playing now. And I think they're some of our best work.

So I think we gotta... This is the time to tell people if you like the show, give us a tick the box. But we were talking before, you were telling... And I don't want to spoil this necessarily, but you were saying that this is a fake out, that this is a fake last season, and there's actually one more season. Yeah. I mean, it's not... It's probably a spoiler, but...

I guess it's a spoiler that... We're gonna do a whole another like five more seasons. Right. We're only gonna... We're not gonna tell anyone or have it broadcast in any way so that they'll continually be shocked and surprised at the news that, wait, they're doing more? Yeah. They couldn't believe it.

They... It's all written. I mean, some of it is shot, frankly. Well, everything... You guys wrote everything in five years in advance, usually. Yeah. Most of the show was written 15, 20 years ago, actually, before I even... I was in show business, but only marginally.

I heard that episode one was written while the creator was like having sex with his wife and like actually... God was having sex with his creator? Yeah. Yes, exactly. No, you mean... Who is God's wife? When you think about it.

It's weird that he's a lonely bachelor, isn't it? Mother nature. Okay, yeah, they get it on console now. Come on now. But you were telling me that... Isn't that kind of a harmless observation that potentially you could say God's wife is mother nature? Yeah, it's harmless.

Who's gonna get mad? Who's gonna get mad at mother nature? That God just railing mother nature. It's not Zeus. It's not some God from some mother religion. Exactly. It's just a generic... Yeah.

You know, everybody's... An embodiment and personification of the world, exactly. Goodness and earth and nature. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were telling me the last episode of this season of Better Cow Ball. The middle season. Yeah. Keep going.

Ends with Bob, the Bob character. You play Bob, right? I'm Bob. I play a character named Bob Odenkirk, which is so lucky for me that my name also... Because otherwise it would get confusing on set where they're like, Bob, we're ready for you. Right. Yeah. Like who's my character, I'm Saul, but whatever.

I play a character named Bob Odenkirk, who's gotten a job as Saul Goodman. Right. And he has to act like this Saul Goodman guy. Yeah, he's acting and he's also constantly checking his ratings to see how his show's doing. Right. He's very interested in that. And so he's constantly injecting excitement and energy and drama into this otherwise bland

job, simple job. Right. Great work. Pretty boring anodyne life with two children and a wife. And the thing that was so hard about doing it, Scott, was I'd never been a lawyer. And I had to pass the bar. Right. And you know, this is what you have to do.

Yeah. And Jared Leto... Lito, I believe it's pronounced. I think he'd prefer everyone change it to Leto. He'd prefer we all change it to Leto? Yes. All right, this is going to be a lot of paperwork for me, but okay. Jared Leto and Bronson Pinchot.

They got together on this? Yes. So in show? Called me from SAG. They both called me at the same... Hello, this is Jared. They called... Was it...

They both called you at the same time? Or from like a... When I got the job, you get a call from a SAG representative. And those two were... And they are there to say, you know, listen, you are very lucky. You are in the club, but you have to do, you know, you have to... We... You can't just pretend.

You know, you have to do this thing. You got to do the research. So they had me lose weight, then I had to gain weight, then they just dialed it in perfectly. Right. So actually it was like a pound less than I was when I started this whole fucking... So they said lose weight, but you lost 40 and I had to gain 39 back? And then... Oh wait, you gave me 60?

They were just testing me to see if I had the schmutz. Yeah. And then I got the right weight and then I had to pass the bar and then I had to, you know, change my name to Saul Goodman and... Right. Oh, you changed your name illegally. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Or did you do it illegally? Oh, I did it legally. You did it illegally. Okay, great. All the way up to the Supreme Court. I mean, this is... They took that case. Wow.

Okay. Yeah. They have so many, you know, almost every... You hear about the big ones, abortion, whatever. You only hear about the big ones. But they do the little tiny ones all the time. Can this guy change his name? Can that guy change his name?

Oh my God. My license was expired. This... You know. Have you ever gone to court? I mean, it goes up to the Supreme Court very quickly. Yeah. Well, I once got a parking ticket that I didn't show up for.

And I went to the... Yeah. Well, if you had... Right. Odds are... They just kick it upstairs? They keep kicking it upstairs. Oh my God.

And they... Yeah. The nine justices. There's only nine. This is what we should do. Yeah. We need more. The wonderful nine.

We need 300, 400 of these. I would... I mean, thousands. Why not? Even a million? A billion. As I said in... Right.

The social network. Not starring Bob Odenkirk, our guest today. I once wrote a sketch for Saturday Night Live called The Jillian Air. He was the guy who helped billionaires when they were low on funds. What do you... What would he do? He would loan the money or he would just like... He would be like, you're in trouble and I'm going to help you.

I'm going to give you a couple million dollars you need to carry... Tied you over. It was like... Yeah. He did... That was the adventure. It was like find a billionaire in trouble and help him out. What happened to that sketch?

Can I ask? Uh... Uh... It didn't get on. What? But you were telling me, Bob, that the very last episode of this season ends with you turning to camera and doing the decambitment tumble and going, ah, ah, ah, we're back. We're back next season.

I actually don't know that reference. I actually... Is that a TikTok thing? TikTok thing? It's sports. Ah, ah, ah, ah. He would wag his finger all the time at the crowds because they would be booing him. This is what I don't know.

I'm looking to my sports guy over here and he's on the phone. I've never seen it but I'll have to check it out. But you do wag your finger. At the end of the episode and it's a spoiler for probably pretty much everybody but I do look into the lens and I wag my finger and it's kind of a told you so, caught ya, got ya. Made you look. Made you look at the whole series. I did.

Cause you were on right before the finale of Breaking Bad many years ago, one of our earlier episodes and you spoiled that episode for us which ended with Walter White's son on the skateboard, his legs were fixed and he said, look what I can do. I remember you telling us and so I just want a similar spoiler, you know, it's like, look. You know what happens in the end? We know that this character of Saul, Jimmy, whatever, Gene, Bob Odenkirk, gets a sex change. Surprisingly, Kim, the woman he loves, gets a sex change and they can… Do they do face off surgery as well?

They do. And then they are together again as a couple forever. Incredible. This is big news. And they do live forever. That's kind of a… So they're like eternals or immortals? Immortal.

Do they have that surgery? How did they get that? That is actually an accident of… What, were they hit by a car and suddenly… No, the tanning booth that they go in and something's wrong. They switch it off and it makes you live forever. Oh, okay. Got it.

It's not important. It's a great idea for a show but we're not going to pursue it. No, it's going to be about them as a couple, the next couple of seasons are them as a couple. Do they get vocal surgery as well where they switch voices or is it the same voices but in different bodies now? Well, that's the challenge production-wise because I'm going to have to record all my lines into her voice and her voice will go into my voice. Right. You can't do it any other way and in fact, you know… Are you going to do it live in front of a studio audience though?

We're going to do it live in front of a studio audience as large as we can get. Yeah. Maybe like arenas or maybe even stadiums? Well, I don't want to give too much weight but we're going to… Have you ever seen the Pink Floyd movie Pink Floyd at Pompeii? At Pompeii? No, I haven't seen that one. Well, we're going to shoot it at Pompeii.

You're doing it at Pompeii? Yeah. In front of the old theater and the old surround theater because it's actually the best sound quality. Do you think it will ever go off in the middle of a show? That would be the dream. Like suddenly you're doing a show. Even with the volcano go off again? Yeah, yeah.

Well, we're trying to make that happen because that would be a real cliffhanger moment. Yeah, it would. It was hard to get volcanoes to go off, you know. Yeah, what can you really do? Like set depth charge explosives or… Well, there's a lot you can do. And we're doing all of it and it's going to cost a lot of money and boy, I hope people watch. No, boy.

Because we'll all die. Sure. But I mean, we all have to die. But we'll be frozen in place. That's the thing. And that's what's beautiful. You see all these like, you know, statues or skeletons from Pompeii. Man, they're famous.

They're all famous. You know? Everyone who died in Pompeii. Yes, we all know that. Because they're eternally in that… Yeah, in that… In whatever they're doing. Yeah.

Can you imagine, okay, everyone, we're acting out the poses that we're doing. Like everyone's sort of like reaching to the sky like, hey, Lava, don't fall on me. Can you imagine doing something embarrassing and that'd be what's like you're eternally known for? Like you're scratching your butt or something like that. You know, how terrible would that be? It would be. But I think a big wall of hot lava is going to make you get your attention away from

your itchy ass. I don't know. I mean, as itchy as it can get, you know, who knows. I don't know. Bob, you went through a health scare while you were filming the Cal Bell Sal show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this an Easter egg? Cal Bell Sal.

More Cal Bell Sal. Is this an Easter egg in the show where there's a scene where suddenly you clutch your heart and it abruptly cuts away and it made it into the show as like an Easter egg for them? Yeah, and we're just kind of hoping the audience doesn't notice. I'm actually dead for about half a scene. Half a scene, really? I turn gray. And so the…

I'm sputtering. Are they… They're cutting back to your coverage, though? You know, they thought… They weren't sure if it was an acting choice. And then they… When they saw it, they went, I… They just like it.

It just has better. Can we use it? Can we use it? And I was like, look, I was on the clock. I was getting paid. You're getting paid either way. When do you give a shot? Sure.

If you guys think it's great. So my character, and it does seem a little strange, just shuts down, falls to the ground, turns gray, can't breathe, and they carry on with the scene. Wow. Professionals. Because troopers. Yeah. And that's showbiz.

That's incredible. After the old cut, a minute or two later. After… So a minute or two after the old cut. Yeah. I was… I didn't have oxygen for, I don't know. Not long.

17, 20, 40 minutes. Somewhere. Yeah. Not that big of a deal. My brain. I lost about half my brain, but, you know, they say you only use 10% of your brain. Yeah. So did you lose the half that wasn't part of that 10, or did you…

Yeah. The doctors at it did an MRI, and they said, everything, you don't use any of the part you lost at all. In fact, we can take it out. And they are going to take it out. Oh, they are. What are they going to do with it? Well, I don't know.

They're just going to throw it away. I'd love to have it if you… No, no. You're not giving it to me. I mean, sure. But they're just going to throw it away. I really would want to have it. You know, those metal waste containers.

Trash cans? They're just going to throw it into that, you know. And so that's coming next week. And then I'll be lighter, physically lighter. Yeah. I have less in my head. That's great. And they don't replace it with anything.

It's just literally empty, and the rest of your brain just flops around in there. And I guess you can hear… There's a little more room, you know. Yeah. It's not a thing. It doesn't change anything about who you are. So if you're like shaking your head in disagreement, you'll hear like a sloshing sound or…

Wow. That's amazing. Congrats, man. Yeah. Well, you know, a lot of people get surgery on their faces or whatever. I want the inside changed. I want the inside of me different. That's the thing.

The outside is perfect. And you've worked hard to get it that way. I'm having some of my intestines taken out. Really? Which ones? I can't decide. I'm flipping a coin. I'm trying to decide.

I like them both. Yeah, they're both great. I mean, they both do what they do. But I think I'm going to get rid of the large intestine on most of it, because I'm just like, well, it's large. Yeah, I know. It's like… Let's get it.

Let's just… Medium? Can we get it down to medium? Hey, God, can we agree on a medium intestine for once? Do we really need… Hi. You're going… I've got a small one that's not taking up a lot of room, bothering me with a lot of

issues. But meanwhile, I got this large one. I tell you. So small and medium is going to work for me. And other things, too. Sure. Yeah, what about some bones? Yeah, I don't think I need all my bones.

You see, your feet have 500 bones. It's like, come on, let's get this down to 25. You know what I mean? That's a manageable number. Absolutely. Yeah. Everybody. The ear.

Relax with the foot bones. The ear bones, too. They say that's… Like you have a million in there. Is that so? Yeah. I didn't know that. The only bone that counts, though.

Am I right, buddy? Morningwood. That's true. To be clear. To use the medical term. Let's just be clear what we're talking about, morningwood, at this point. Well, better… Got that.

Got to get… Got to get that guy. He's… Come on, Sal. Come on. Get over here. He's… He's only on our television screens for another week, another eight days.

And then you can't see it anywhere. Never. No. They delete it. I think that's fair, too. For every television show that they make, they should delete one. That's right. You know?

Yeah. Because otherwise it's too many. It's too many things. There's too much time and time to bother. So, like, I think now that you guys have made these shows, they should go back and delete the sopranos. That's right. You know?

Because they're about as good. You know what I mean? Right. Right. They have to be as equally good as well. Yeah. They'll go two years from now. They'll…

Three years from now. They'll get rid of my show. Yeah. And the severance moves into… Yeah, exactly. Post. Yeah. Post-world.

Exactly. Yeah. It's the way TV works and it's the way the business has always been and I think it's good. Yeah. What about those movies? You know, there's… You did that nobody one.

And the main difference to me is the… There's, like, 29 frames per second in TV, right? You mean between its characters and the story of the two things, the two projects that are called Saul and nobody… The main difference is… The main difference is, yeah, there's 29 frames per second in the TV and 24 in the movie. Is that what…

Yeah. Yeah, that's the difference. I mean, essentially, if somebody's watched Better Called Saul, you'd say to them, did you like it? Would you like it at a different frame rate? Yeah. Then check out Nobody. And if you've seen Nobody and they go, what's that Saul show like?

Well, would you like fewer frames? Do you want more? I think it's more, isn't it? I'm not sure. 29 more? Who knows? Are you going to make another one of those movies and call it, like, somebody or, like, they're also nobody or, like, what are you going to do here?

First of all, thank you for that suggestion. It's never been uttered before. Oh. Okay. By anyone. I think we're trying to get one made. Nobody as well? Yes.

In fact, that's the title. Okay. Nobody as well. Indeed. So, I mean, you know, you got Jason Manzukas in that other movie, the John Wick 3. Yeah. Yeah. Is he?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. You should fight him in this new movie. Jason? Yeah. In the film or offstage? Either. Either one.

During the movie. During the making of it. During the making of the movie. Oh. Yeah. I'd like you to find him. All right. Yeah.

Listen, your idea, and I think it's a hand of God, it's a good idea. I don't know if I could take him. He's younger than me. Spry. Yeah. Slightly younger. Slightly spire. Yeah.

You mentioned hand of God. You were saying before the show that you're now incredibly religious and that everything has led to you just basically now having a close personal relationship with. I get, I wake up every day. I get baptized in the morning. I get last rites at night. Just in case. Just in case.

How long do those last rites last? That's the thing they call them. They last all night. You can sleep in. Is it a 24-hour thing? Absolutely. Okay. Sleep in.

Great stuff. I have a little altar in my pocket. Good. I can pull it out and start praying. Yeah. Now, what it is, Scott, is now that I've succeeded in my career and I have a certain degree of satisfaction in that department, now I care about the purpose and meaning of my existence. Right.

Like a lot of people who get to this place in their lives and their career, all about self-empowerment, self-awareness, meditation, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yes. And all that stuff has come to me now because I'm rich and old. You can finally afford it. And I can afford to fuck around and do nothing. You can pay people to do all your errands and stuff. Yeah. And now I'm suddenly really captivated by that.

That's incredible. I think it's the most important thing, actually, now that I've made the money that I need to live. Yeah. And so I think I'm a pretty good person and maybe even an extra special person because of my focus now on myself. If only the poor people could afford to. If only.

You know, I just look around and I feel so bad and it's just like other people are not as smart as me. They're not as aware as I am about just existential. It's a word I just learned. You work as hard as you to get where you got as well. I think I deserve everything I've gotten and probably more, a little bit more. And now it's time for me time. Yes.

And I think it's really about time I focused on me. I think I need to meditate and focus on nothingness and myself. Are you going to climb up any mountains or anything like that? Do any of those kind of like treks, you know, with a sherpa? With some adventures, I just want to challenge myself as long as, you know, I'm really well cared for. Yeah. Exactly.

It's like glamping. In other words. Yeah. Like if you could glamp up on Mount Everest, would you? Oh yeah. Helicopter to the top. Yes. Thank you.

Stay in a casino. I'll bring it up again. Here it is. Stay in a casino. Maybe. A tent. A tent. But it, you know, it has to feel like at least two slot machines back around.

Everest has changed the top of every, you know, have you noticed that? What do you mean? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Do you remember the mom and pop casino sketch that we were all trying to write several times? We should have been able to write that. We should have been able to, but we never could. But it was all about, I remember the one iteration was about a mom and pop. It was basically a bed and breakfast casino and they had one slot machine and it paid

out the five million dollar jackpot and they couldn't afford it. And they were like, well, I guess we could borrow a couple thousand from our next door neighbor. It was just the disintegration of this mom and dad. That's a great idea. It was a good idea. Let's do more, Mr. Show. Okay.

Let's do it. Or at least the other show. What was the other show called? With Bob and David. With Bob and David. Is that coming back even after the, as it turns out, I don't think people care that much to see older folks do sketch comedy. Interesting.

Is it a young man's game or a young person's game? I do think it is a young person's game. I actually think that that's the lesson from that awesome show. I mean, I think it was a great show. I'm very proud of it. I think it was very funny and silly and perfect. It's just like, who wants to see, you don't want to see old people do that. You don't want to see these.

There's something about it. The energy for sketch has to be coming from a young face. Well, it's like when you watch the Irishman and you're seeing young Robert De Niro's face on this extremely old man's body waddling around and you're barely able to run. That's what it feels like watching with Bob and David, right? No. We did a great job and it's great. It's just the audience is not going to go down for it.

Well, I still think that- That's my theory. I have a lot of theories. You're one of the people who has the most comedic theories I've ever met. No, you're not. A lot of people in comedy feel like it's dumb to make theories and rules. I think rules are kind of dumb, but theories are not dumb. They're good.

They're fun to have. I know one guy who had one and his name was, an apple fell on his head and he was suddenly like, hey, maybe there's this thing called gravity and his name was Isaac Newton. I wanted to say Asimov for a long time and someone may have slipped me the answer. Jesus. Look, we can agree that I'm not smart, right? Was I the dumbest writer you ever worked with? Well, I've worked with myself, you know?

Oh, and Brian Passin. Boy, what a room that was. Talk about geniuses. Well, Bob, Brent Forrester went to Columbia. And they had a perfect SAT. He scored a perfect SAT. The only person who was ever one of the Mr. Show writers who went to college. Is that right?

Whoever graduated from college? No, I graduated. You graduated from college? I sure did. Yeah. From which one? Southern Illinois University. Wonderful.

I'm very happy with myself. Well, Southern Illinois's best is here with us right now, Bob Odenkirk. He's saying goodbye to his television. He's throwing his television away after next week. Yeah, after years of, you know. You're just going to rip it out of the wall. Yeah. Just throw it right in the ash can.

It's done at me good. I've done well from it. Yeah. You know? And the fact that you have to have your TV to be on TV, and they... It seems inconvenient, but it makes sense when you think about it. Well, every child knows, you know, you get a box and you cut it out and then you put a show on.

Yeah. And that's how we do saw. Exactly. You have your TV set. And they film that. They break out the glass. Yeah, it's a fake TV set. A lot of people don't know.

When you turn on your TV, there's a little, even tinier TV in the frame of the TV. Just barely. Just barely, but that's what we're filming. Yeah. Is you guys behind that TV? Yeah. Yeah. Incredible.

Arduous process and totally unnecessary, but yet... But it is worth it. It's working wonderfully. It's worth it because the show is so amazing. Now, speaking of wonderfulness, we have to take a break if that's okay. But I know you're done with the interview portion of this show. What's going on? Don't worry.

There's only so many fake questions we can do before we have to go to a break. Well, we do have to go to a break. We have a celebrity chef here, Bob. Oh. This is exciting. We also have a lawyer, and you played a lawyer on this show, Cal Bal Sal. We're going to be right back. We have more Bob Odenkirk, more Comedy Bang Bang.

We'll be right back with more after this. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Bob Odenkirk of Cal Bal Sal is here, and there is more Cal Bal in this season. Oh, my God. This is actually not more the biggest Cal Bal. Oh, that's what he meant. Oh, okay. It's actually...

The world's biggest... World's biggest or United States biggest? Oh, the world's biggest. We pulled out all the stops. I mean, this thing is... It's not a hologram. Really? How big is it?

Like six feet? Six feet. Six feet. You're laughing. What is it? Seven? It's the size of an Olympic pool upside down, Cal Bal's size. What?

And it is... Cal Bal's size, the Olympic pool upside down? Such a thing. I mean, when did you see it on your television set, and you go like... It's probably going to look small. ...this character I've loved for years, Cal Bal Sal, played by Bob Odenkirk, and then Ray Sioros, Kim Wexler. And you're just going to see like, wow, here comes the biggest Cal Bal I've ever seen.

And they're talking about it, and they have emotion and... Do I have to buy a bigger TV for it, or what do I...? And then the drug dealer is there going, I don't want that Cal Bal in my town, and... Ding, ding, ding. Does he do the ding-dings? That's what the Cal Bal is for. Scott, spoiler alert, but I love you for it. You pay attention.

Yes. You pay attention. I knew it. I knew if I watched... And this is how you know... I knew if I watched this like every other episode of this show... But it's so satisfying to be you and go, hey, I saw the bell. I remember...

Yeah, I remember the bell. I saw the title. Here's the largest Cal Bal in the world. And it's really going to make Breaking Bad look like... Like the world's biggest piece of shit, honestly. Well, let's put it in bell terms. Okay. Like a bell-shaped piece of shit?

No, what are you trying to say? It's going to make Breaking Bad like a little bell on this ice skate of a 10-year-old... Yeah. You know, figure skater. Yeah. Who's taking a shit? It's going to make it look like a bell on a cat, on a pussy cat's neck. Like a pussy cat's neck, yeah.

So you know where your cat is. And this goddamn show, Cal Bal's Sal and I tell you, I think people are going to turn their TVs off and kick them and throw them out the window. Yeah. I hope so. I saw it. I saw it. All I need to say...

Do you watch TV? I saw it. I already saw that. I already saw TV. I don't need anymore. Wonderful. Well, thanks for the build-up and I think we're going to make people happy. Yeah, I really do.

We need to get to our next guest, though, speaking and making people happy. Oh, please. I'm sorry. He is... Oh, no. Not at all. I love talking to you, of course, but he's a celebrity chef. Let's talk to him here.

He's never been on the show before. Oh, here he is. Hey! Bobby Flag is here. Hey, it was so great to be here with you, Scott. Hey, Bobby. Bob, obviously, you know, he's a huge fan. Two Bobbys.

And you know, I actually think we met a few years ago, maybe 2012, 13, I can't remember what it was, but it was one of my res. I think it was probably a bar American. I think he had an after-party at Bar American, so I don't know what the fuck it was. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was so great to see you back then. I vaguely remember it, and I loved it. The burgers were great.

We had the sliders stage. The big sliders stage. Everybody, you know, make your own sliders. You're sort of one of those fun peeks behind the curtain. Everybody got to go back in the kitchen and pick out different proteins and everything. Yeah. I don't like that because I'm like, I'm paying you to do it. Why do I have to make my own thing?

No, it's fun. It's fun. You know, we actually try to make it as realistic, you know, a night in the kitchen. The theme of the party was night in the kitchen. I don't even remember that. I do remember. I remember it very well. I loved it so much.

The whole party was like a night in the kitchen. And you showed up, you had to get there, punch your punch card. Yeah, you had to show up pretty early before you. Actually, to fill out a form to get a job. I got a W-9 and everything. Yeah, I had you shucking oysters for three or four hours. Doing prep work? Yeah, he's doing prep work.

Marrying catchups? Marrying catchups and sort of rolly silver and everything. And yeah, the whole idea behind the whole thing. And we do it with everybody. You know, a lot of different production, you know, a lot of productions like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Collin and Scarlett, you know, call me over sometimes and we, you know, we'll chop it up with them, you know.

Do a night in the kitchen for us. But like the big hit is that I abuse you like I would abuse kitchen staff. Oh, okay. So like, and do you normally do that? I... Yeah. Yeah, you just yell at people. I don't really know that much about you.

Sometimes I think you meant it. Sometimes it's meant sometimes, you know, it's, it's, what do you call it? It's hard to tell. I mean, yeah. It's like negative reinforcement or whatever. Some people say it's bad. I wouldn't even call it abuse. I would more just call it sort of yelling and occasional violence.

Right. Okay. So like, so if I were to be like, what job do I have when I come to one of these parties? I'm a waiter? You're a little long. I don't know that I'd put you front of house, honestly. I think I, I think I would probably get you started on prawns and, you know, some of the bigger crustaceans.

I don't get to be front of house. You know, yeah. I'm just shook prawns. I would put you, I would put you, I would put you in front of house. Because I'm too long? Yeah. You're too long. Okay.

All right. All right. I'll do it. No, you got a good body for it. You got to, but I like to get people who are shaped, you know, like a shrimp or legostino or something. I like to put them on the crustaceans. Oh, oh.

It's shaped like a shrimp. Yeah. You kind of, you kind of curl up. You're so long. I bet you curl up, you know, on a Delta one flight. I bet you just curl up. You know what I mean? Okay.

I guess I know what you mean. So I'm shucking prawns. I was talking about, I remember now the night that I was there, everybody was sorted by body type. Sort of, yeah. Sort of my body type and what the animal, they look the most like tend to be, you know, how, you know. So say I'm shucking these prawns and then I make a mistake.

Is that when you would yell at me? Your piece of shit. Yeah. You're ugly. Ugly. Your family's the wrong religion. Again, half of it is true and half of it is just a show. Which half is true?

Yeah. You're feeding too big. That's true. You don't get any other. That's weird. That's bad. That's also true. Yeah.

My family being the wrong, how can you ascertain what's the right religion? I, you know. Yeah, you look at somebody. You guys should be Catholic. Oh, okay. Okay. You mean it depends on each person. You don't know the right religion.

Well, I mean, the insult would be different. I mean, those are just insults for you. Okay. I could insult Bob, you know, completely different. Yeah. Yeah. Do it to Bob if you don't mind. I remember I was slow.

You were slow. I moved slowly. I wasn't sure what I was doing. What was your job? What was your body type? What animal do you look like? Well, I have a kind of a long torso. Yeah.

Oxtails. Oxtails. He put me right on oxtails and you could see I could. This doesn't seem efficient to have one person just doing one ingredient. Well, it's a really good agreement. I mean, that's a chef cut. Okay. I mean, you know, a bad butcher would throw that away.

As a chef, I look at the oxtail and go, oh, that's smart. Oh, okay. I don't mean to get in your business, but so, so what were you saying to Bob here? What were your answers? So, I was working with the oxtails and I had to. It was like a Caribbean thing. You know, we were sort of doing like a Caribbean slide. Like a jerk.

Kind of like an oxtail. I had to put the jerk flavoring on them, you know, spices and the oils and I had to marinate them. I had to double check, constantly check in the time. We were there like nine hours while we were marinating. I had to put them in the oven, off the oven, in the fridge, off the, I mean, it was. There's a lot of work. And you weren't doing it.

He had me take the oxtails home, he said. Take them home. You had to come back the next day with them? No, no, no, no, same day. Get in the car, take them home, put them in the front room, you know, whatever. Get an errand, do an errand. Yeah. Do you have a rumpus room?

You have like some kind of bonus room? Right. You know, somewhere you keep your collectibles, your stupid TV shit. Because I have like action figures and shit. And then, get them, and then I will call you, he said, and then be back here. Yeah. Fast. I need you back here.

Yeah. And so he wasn't doing this right. And so how would you? He was a little, so he said, he said he got caught in traffic and I said, you're cooking with Bobby Flay. Right. What do you mean traffic? Right.

Yeah. Or take an ambulance. Take an ambulance. Rent an ambulance if you're going to be working with. Scott, I got the full treatment and I loved it. Wow. I got yelled at. I got kicked.

I got thrown. Pushed down. Everybody there loved it. They thought it was so fine. Into the grease. What about the grease pit? Tell them about the. There's a grease pit?

Well, you know, the grease pit, it's not really so much a grease pit as sort of like, I don't know, it's like a speakeasy kind of thing. Oh, okay. It was called the grease pit. Yeah. The floor was very exceptionally sticky. So it's a room in the, we could never get that floor cleaned well enough. Oh, okay.

But I turned it into kind of a speakeasy. Just sort of like hang out with some of the celebrities that we would have there for some of those parties. You know, Bob was there. It's Jake from Stay Farm. Jake from Stay Farm. Wow. You see Nash.

We had. Jared from Subway? Jared from Subway. So it was, you know, it was a pretty fun little party and you get the right people, right group of people. You know, a chef wants to bring together the right group of people. Yeah. He wants to make magic with a bunch of found ingredients.

So Bobby play party. If it's the night at the kitchen, you know, I want to, I want to find the right people. Yeah. Wow. So I got to ask though, at what point. Rapaport, you know. Mike. Oh, wow.

Carson from, from Queer Eye. Carson from Down Abbey. Oh, really? Yeah. Carson from Down. Mr. Carton. So at what point do people get to actually enjoy the party and the food that they're all?

Well, the sliders style. I mean, it's sliders. I mean, everybody looks like. In the end, it's just like, just like. He's prawns and ox tail. You do all that. Prep work for the next night. Do you use the food then in your restaurants or because we just had.

If I remember, there was a lot of prep. That was the fun part. Everybody's doing prep. Doja Castile. All day, all morning, all afternoon. And then here comes the sliders and then go in the room and make your sliders and then. Well, I try to stagger out the, the popular proteins, you know what I mean? I mean, I wanted the ox tails, like the whole thing when you go in home coming back, I mean,

part of that's the abuse. Part of that is like, it's 3 a.m. We're partying. Sean Don. Sean, John's there. Sean, John. I remember when Adrian Brody introduced him on SNL. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that was pretty crazy. I don't think he's, I don't think he's allowed back there. I mean, that's, that's pretty nice. I mean, I wouldn't know. I don't work there. So. Hang out with college sometime.

Hang out with Scarlett. You hang out with Colin Scarlett. Yeah. I hang out with Scar Joe. Is that, is that what people call her? Daryl. Daryl? Oh, wow.

Okay. Jered. Wally, Wally from Q-cars. Wally from Q-cars? Yeah. At these parties? This is amazing. So, so you just throw the food away or what do you do?

No, no, no, no, no, no. That's the theme of the night. The theme of the night is what, what the people would throw away what a chef likes it. Okay. Like chicken thighs. Right. Right. Nobody wants that.

But then you show us how to make it great. How do you make chicken thigh great? Okay. But then you make them and then you just have to eat sliders? Well, so I mean, that's, that's all. Chicken thighs. The chicken thigh, it's chicken sliders. Oh.

Okay. It's a slider theme, night at the kitchen. The theme of the proteins is what a regular person would throw away. You're yelling at me now, Bobby. That is chef loves to cook. I'm sorry, I feel like you're yelling at me and I didn't sign up for one of these parties. I don't want the. I mean, obviously you couldn't throw down with me in kitchen stadium.

I mean, that's pretty clear. I don't think I want to throw down with you in kitchen stadium or anywhere else really. No, you don't. You don't want to. Yeah. You know, I'm, you look at me, you think, okay, he's an East Coast guy, Southwest flavors. I do look at you. I think Southwest flavors.

Yeah. West. I don't know about the West Coast. East Coast anger. Anger issues. Yeah. East Coast issues. That's just kind of guy.

Yeah. East Coast guy, Southwest ways. Yeah. Val choice, you know, probably East Coast casual. Yeah. Flip flops. West Coast. Definitely.

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Logs. Logs. Adidas slide. Designed sunglasses. Big yacht.

It's me. It's Michael Keaton. Holly Madison for girls next door. Any of that 70 show cast members there? Toefer. Toefer. Yeah. We had a huge party on Bezos yacht.

Actually, when we were stuck in Copenhagen or whatever. Oh, right. Sliders. Did you have sliders? No, we didn't do sliders because it was Toefer was showing us his cut of episode one. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow.

I've heard about it. So we actually, we were actually cooking Toy Darian. That's what Watto is. I don't know. Watto from episode one. He's... Yeah. He's, it's on Tatooine.

He's a pretty big character. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what you made the meat out of. He's a Toy Darian. And so we actually secured some Toy Darian primals. How did you get Toy Darian?

We got Toy Darian primals. Primals. Yeah. Yeah. Celebrity chef. I have, I know how to get meat. This is amazing. Yeah.

So it was a really special night. You know what I mean? Yeah. I guess so. I mean, so what are you up to now, Bobby? I mean, like, do you have a new book? Oh, I have a new show coming out and I would love to throw it to it. Throw it, throw it to the show right now.

Oh. Throw it to, oh, meaning that we're going to play some of the show? Okay. Yeah. Can we do that? Do we, I've never done clips on it. Okay. Yeah.

Whatever you need to do. I don't know. I don't know. You know, I was just talking this way. Talking this way. Yeah. Okay. We were shooting Bobby, B Bobby Flay.

You know, B Bobby Flay. Is that what the show is called? I could do another show called B Bobby Flay. It's actually probably pretty good. I will tell my assistant about that later. Okay. So B Bobby Flay. You know, I beat Bobby Flay.

Is that what you said? B Bobby, B Bobby Flay. Sorry, it's the East Coast Val choices and the consonant. You know, what, you know, I'm sorry. But I'm trying to understand. You would have the last 20 minutes in my kitchen. Okay. So beat Bobby Flay.

Anyway, if we shoot B Bobby Flay and they'll cut to me and I got to explain, you know, for the food network, cause you know who watches food network is the idiots. You know what I mean? Yeah. I guess you have many shows there though. If I start a red sauce, you know, I'm going to have to do a cutaway and explain what the hell red sauce is. What is a red sauce?

I guess I don't even know. It's like a sauce that's red. It's got tomatoes. It's a tomato based sauce. Tomato based sauce. I'm so sorry. It's okay. I apologize.

I'm trying your best, Bobby. And I just think you reach out and over and over again to everyone. But people just don't know food. They just let you down. I mean, I just suddenly felt very intimidated by you that I didn't know what a red sauce was. Do you feel all alone? Yeah.

A lot? Well, sure. All the time? No. I got Cass. I got a dull daughter. Cass, a dull daughter. Southwest flavors.

Yeah. East Coast attitude. East Coast attitude. West Coast guy. Yeah. You know? So there's elements of my life that I really enjoy. There's stuff that, I mean, Bob, people don't change.

Rough stuff. Yeah. People change, but people don't change. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we try to get real on this show and thank you, Bob, for asking the real questions. I want to throw to a show.

He's excited about the food. Yeah. And I love that. That's great. But I can tell it's just covering up for real emptiness. You can really see the sadness behind your eyes. I mean, you know, this kind of feeling is great for like a cutaway if I have to explain what a gravy is or whatever.

Yeah. But you really got to turn it up if you're throwing to another package on Food Network. What is a gravy? I mean, I've had gravy, but what? It's, you know, it's like what? It's fats suspended in a liquid. Because they're flour? It's like an emulsion.

It's thickened in emulsion. It typically involves some sort of slurry. I mean, I would know it if I ate it, but I wouldn't know how to make it. Next time you go to a restaurant. Yeah. I would like some emulsion with some slurry on top of my meat. Yeah. See what that gets you.

And they'll probably. If you're in one of Bobby's restaurants, you'll get some great. You'll get great. You go somewhere else. I don't know. I can't vouch for it. Well, that's great. So Beat Bobby Flay is the show.

Beat Bobby Flay is the show. And I got to explain this stuff. When we're doing the cutaways, you know, the talking head product, I hate that part. That's not what I'm about. Right. I want a big cue card. Yeah. A big shot.

And I want to scream my head off into that camera as it pulls away over the crowd. Right. So give us an example of this. Oh, that would be like, you know, that's it. Now stay tuned for my epic Thanksgiving donkey punch and bake fest for fat losers and drunk moms in partnership with Ice Age 28, Death the Caveman. Let's kill all the humans so that we can stay alive for many more films in this franchise. That was perfect.

I mean, yeah, that's what you want out of a Bobby Flay. That's incredible. That's what the job's about. Yeah. Food is my passion. But doing these throws. The throws are sort of the job. Yeah.

That's what you get paid for. And I get paid to cook. I mean, I don't get paid to cook. You would cook for free, but these throws. I would cook for free. I think most people don't pay attention when you're cooking. It's the throws that they watch. They sit up.

Yeah. Most of the audience is there for B Bobby Flay. They're there for the throws. They want to see throws. Right. Yeah. Do you have any more? I mean, I mean, you know, I could do something like, it is just like on top of my head.

Okay. Yeah. Now stay tuned for my epic Miami beach party boat breakdown for shrimp dicks and smoking hot Christians brought to you by return of the crudes. Let's see all the dinosaurs because the crudes ran out of salad and it's dino chomping time. Wow. Off the dome. That is incredible.

I mean, you know, we do a lot of cross promotional stuff with the kids stuff. Yeah. There's a lot of parents that watch. You know, parents that watch Magnolia Network, the TLC family and networks. Yeah. That was great. I mean, it's exciting to hear that. And I want to watch this.

I mean, I would have spread the word. I would. I love spread the word about food. I love spread the word about the crudes. The show is called Beat Bobby Flay. I mean, that's been on for years. Is there anything new? A new show or?

I mean, you know, we were talking with Shutter Network. What about a show that just throws? Just throws. Just throws. Let me throw. Throw Bobby Flay. Throw. Yeah.

Throw Bobby Flay from the train. Throw Bobby Flay from the train. Yes. Yeah. We could do that. And it's in the mama verse. What a train you have to do with it. Well, throw mama from the train.

Billy Crystal and Danny DeVito. Come on. Put it in the mama verse. Danny's a good friend. I had all the sunny crew. You know, we were chopping it up a couple weeks ago. Had a big, like, make your own salads line. That was fun.

Why does everything make your own? You got to feel out of people. I mean, the catering, the quality could go south so fast. So you got to bring the people in. Never mind. Well, do you have any more throws? Because you're right, Bob. I would watch just throws.

Just throws. Yeah. Do you have any more? Can you do anything else here? Or? I mean, yeah. I mean, there's. You know, I was thinking about one that was like kind of like.

You know, when I was thinking about, I mean, if you want to hear it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't be bashful here.

Yeah. I'd love to hear. All right. Something like that. That's it. Now, stay tuned for my epic in Sonata and Chilada, Eleganza for rude boys, gassy queens and adjunct statistics professors featuring a clumsily integrated co-marketing strategy with Luca.

The movie that's not Pixar, but still Disney about the boy who became a monster and made a friend in the evil world that caused certain issues in the regular world rated in C17. I didn't realize it was rated that. That's amazing. Yeah. I would watch the show, Bob. Thank you. Thank you.

We wanted to attach this executive producers, but. Just do that. And go to commercial. Do you want to commercial? Yeah. I mean, you might be interested in this one. We've been talking about, you know, something that incorporating that whole thing, you know, the kids animation thing, how do we get the kids hooked into like cooking.

So this was a new show I've been thinking about how to cook a minion. Oh, I love that. Yeah. We basically, we talk about. Minions are cute. Yeah. We talk about sort of, I mean, yeah, that's a barrier definitely, but you know, how to break one down, you know, break a minion down in 20 minutes.

Right. Do they come dead? No. You have to. The whole minion. Oh. Do you have to kill the minion before you break it down? Yeah.

Malfi Vegas, my restaurant Malfi, we get a, the full minion. The full menu. We get about five a week. Yeah. Are the eyes like, do those taste good? I mean, I find the eyes to be a little rubbery. Sometimes they only have one. Sometimes they only, yeah, that's the other thing is it's pretty inconsistent.

You actually, which menu you're going to get that's, that's going to affect cook times. It's going to affect, you know, the size of the skillet. Are they all wearing blue shorts or? No, we get them completely nude. Before you break it down. Yeah. Wait. Before you kill the minion, do you get it nude?

Does it take a long time to cook? Or do you kill it and then strip it? Is it a heart? I mean, if we're doing, we have a lot of questions here. If we're doing like a big like Sunday night dinner, like Filipino style whole minion. Where we have to make our own minion. No, no, no. I mean, yeah, I mean, once we get, you know, sort of a whole hog, if you do like a whole

hog, the Filipino barbecue kind of thing. We do that with a whole minion and yeah, you might have to get in there with a, I don't know, a bone saw, some she is, yeah, yeah. Rough stuff. Yeah. Grisly. Tastes good. Tastes really good.

I've never had many. I think it's delicious. They're funny and it's funny how great they taste. I bet. Yeah. Do they make a noise as they go down? Do they say? Do they taste like banana?

I mean, they're kind of squeaky. Like a hairy, hairy covair that's not, you know, totally cooked, you know, they kind of squeaky against you. Yeah. Yeah. You know, almonds, you know, almonds kind of squeaky, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Almonds are squeaky?

Yeah. They have a lot of raw almonds. Like cheese curds. They kind of squeak against you. Yeah. They squeak. I guess I've never noticed that. So I think a minion, I've had a couple minion dinners.

Is it like shark? Yeah. It's fatty. It's definitely fatty. Yeah. They look fat to me. Like they don't look muscular. There's a lot of fat.

There's a lot of fat. But they seem almost all fat. Yeah. To me. Like they have no muscle definition. What's the marinade? I mean, obviously, East Coast guy, Southwest Flavies, are going to go with something that's a little bit more in like that lime cilantro, red onion, sort of ceviche direction.

Yeah. Yeah. Is that every single dish you put out taste just like that? No. I mean, sometimes I'll do a mole. Do a mole. I'm sorry. Yeah.

Yeah. Sometimes you do a mole. Yeah. Sort of like a Ramesco. Ramesco. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Roasted red peppers. This is Spanish style sauce. Well, this is great. Look, Bobby, we're coming up on another break. Sate. What's the best thing that you could do? Or are we going to the well once too often?

I mean, I think people are probably tired of it by now. No, I'm not. I don't think people want to see it. Throw us to commercial. Yeah, throw us to commercial. All right. I mean, you know, probably be some, something like, oh, you know what? This will be fun to do.

Okay. This is great. So like say that you and I were on B Bobby Flay together. Okay. And obviously I beat you. Okay. At your signature dish. What's your signature dish?

Tacos maybe. You know. Just tacos. Just tacos. Scotch them in tacos. Well, I don't, I mean, you know, you make the meat and you put cheese on it. What meat? What meat?

I mean, tell me what are these tacos? It's like beef or chicken or something. Ground beef. Bob, help me out. What's your signature dish? Oh, tuna salad. Tuna salad. Yeah.

Why is that better than tacos? Tuna melts. Tuna melts. Battle tuna melts. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, it would be something like this.

Like if I just beat you, you know, the jib's flying away. We got to have a show. Yeah. The camera's flying. Yeah. I'll probably like look up at the camera and be like, well, it was, well, too. Tonight was tuna. I melted tonight.

You can sit it. Can sit it tonight. Melted. I melted the competition. And then it would be tied into a movie. Tied into some sort of new child's film. Child's film. Yeah.

I mean. Yeah. You know, like, go see Sesame Street Live. Yeah. That kind of, yeah. So something. Yeah. All right.

Why didn't I get a fucking call about turning red? I don't know. I mean, I want to be in the period. Why can't I be in the period movie? It's not. It's not. Well, I mean, it is about a young woman growing up.

But that's, it's not about her. No, like, of course it's. She turns into a, I mean, it's a metaphor for getting your period. Yes. You're right. I thought it was a period movie. Like a. Like a period piece.

Like a little women starring Bob Odenkirk. Yeah. Yeah. You were great in that, by the way. Because rounds of applause when he enters the scene. Thank you. You in Barbie? Exhaust.

No. You're not doing Barbie? I wish I was. I would like to tell the story of the doll and how it came. Bob, you ever see that? You ever see that video of your entrance in little women and they put the audience from Avengers Endgame? No.

Climbing onto it? No, I haven't seen that. That's very funny. Well, throw. So was that your throw? Yeah. I'll throw it away. Yeah.

Throw. Here we go. That's it. With Comedy Bang Bang here in beautiful sunset area Boulevard. And don't forget to check out Turning Red, the beautiful movie about a little girl who becomes a red panda at different times that are related to her vaginal development. That's it. All right.

That is it. All right. We need to take a break. Boy, when we come back, we have a lawyer. Bobby, can you stick around? I'd love to have you. Yeah. You know, it was too round.

And I actually got a. I think I brought a hot plate. Oh. Oh, wow. You guys were interested in competing against you or in just you. I was just thinking like a banana's foster or something like that. I don't know. What do you have in the break room?

I was going to see what you had in the break room. Probably just chips. But yeah, if you have anything. Minion. Yeah. I couldn't get you a minion. I could try. I could make you close.

Well, we're going to be right back. We'll have more Bobby Flay, more Bobby Odenkirk. This is a battle of the bobs right here. You can use that in one of your throws. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Bob Odenkirk of Cowbell Sal. Blah, blah, blah is here. Two more reps and then he disappears. That's enough. That's enough for that. Then you just do you fade away like in Back to the Future?

Like Marty McFly on that picture? Or do you like float up to heaven like Jesus did after he hung around after he came back to life? Or what do you do? I just I actually will my image will burn onto the screen. Whatever screen has it on. Really? That will be there forever.

Wow. Okay. So if you watch the final moments, it's a new technology. It's wonderful. It's just seared into the screen. And it'll you'll smell something burning. Oh, okay. Like a cow being branded almost or?

Yeah. I don't know if it's a meaty smell. It's to smell like oil burning. Oh. It's your TV set. It'll be ruined. Oh, God. Okay.

You know, I mean. New technology. You'll see my face then forever as the character. If you're watching the prices. Right. Or waving my finger. And like to come back. Got you.

Got you to watch. We have to teach you who to come in. But I know his name. I didn't know. Of course, you know, his name. Wagging. Yeah. You got whether I'll send you a meme or two.

We also have Bobby Flay here. I had a party with the kid made my tumbo recently. He's a great guy. Yeah, really? Do you do the finger thing at you? He did the finger. Everybody's trying to make him do the finger thing. Me is Kenta made.

I had a, you know, Josh, the wine. Of course. Yeah. Josh Gad. We had Josh the wine. You know, the guy. Any of the windings? Yeah.

BB and CC Linus. Close friends. What about Didi? What about E? How about Fifi? Gigi? Gigi. I mean, Gigi Adid was there.

Gigi Adid. Yeah. Yeah. Vince Scully. It was a crazy party. Wow. Crazy party. Yeah.

Great crew. What a crew. Yeah. That was like a big paella night. Make your own paella night. Well, we have to get to our next guest. He's a lawyer. He's been on this show several times.

And it's very exciting to have him here, especially with a fake lawyer right here. But please welcome back to the show with Taliano Jones. Scott, what's the matter? What's wrong? I came as quick as I could. Have you been injured? No. No, I haven't.

I will fight for you. Scott, what is wrong? Let me touch you. Let me touch you. But I feel like you're going to injure me. Do you have injuries? No. I've been lifting weights.

Am I strong? You're incredibly strong. Give me a hug. Yeah. Taliano. Yes, I have been lifting weights. You're the one who's hurting me. This is Bob Odenkirk.

Hello, Bob Odenkirk. It's great to meet you. Bobby Flay. Hello, Bobby Flay. It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Taliano. I have two Bobs here. But Taliano, you're a personal injury lawyer, is that right?

I'm a personal injury lawyer and attorney at law. And I appreciate if anybody has ever injured personally that you please call me and let me know which has injured you and I will fight for you. Where do people call you as an injury lawyer? Do you do legal cases or do you just fight? Legal and illegal cases. I fight for everybody and nobody is discriminated against in my court of law. Bobby, have you ever had a lawsuit against you?

I mean, I thought periodically about suing this ratty ass sous vide machine that I had. Please. A sous vide machine. What happened? Tell me more. Does the water not get hot? Burn the hell out of my thumb. Oh, the water gets too hot.

What were you making? Were you sous vide in the steak? I was, sous vide is this is like herb chicken kind of thing. You put an herb chicken in a sous vide and I've never heard of such a thing. Well, it's going into cementioladas. It's southwest flavor. Yeah, southwest flavor. You do have a southwest flavor with a West Coast instinct.

Let me ask you this, Bobby Flay. Yeah, sure. Bobby Flay, I am looking to, do you make Italian food? Well, yeah. I love Italian food. I love mostly Tuscan, you know, the Tuscan game. Ah, Tuscany. Game meat.

Tuscany game meat. Boar. I do a boar. Ah, boar. We did a boar at Bar American for many years. Ah, Bar American. That is Italy. Hey, you know, I wanted to tell you about my TV show, Scott.

Oh, you have a TV show too? I have a TV show. Because both of these, I mean, Bob, unfortunately, is not going to have a TV show anymore. Oh, Bob, you had a TV show? Well, I did. It's going away very soon. Yeah. Oh.

This is going to be the worst time of your life not having a TV show. I don't know who I'll be. I don't know what I'll do. I tell you. But yeah. You could be on my TV show. Yeah, what's your TV show? Better Call Italy is the case where somebody is trying to find a calling card to call Italy.

Just like a phone card? A prepaid phone card? Yes. And they are going to a bunch of places, but the code that they scratch off the back never works. Oh, no. This sounds like a bad dream, actually, that you had. So is your people walking around Target?

People walking around Target. People walking around Walmart. People are walking around Esco in London. I mean, this sounds like a bad dream you had one night, not an actual TV show. It came to me in a dream. Yeah. I was dreaming about an attorney in that law. And then this popped up.

And I said, what would happen if I was stuck in a place like this, for example, located right here on sunny Sunset in the Sunset area? In the Sunset Boulevard area. And I was wondering, what if I got stuck here and I could not call my mom back in Italy? Yeah. How's she doing, by the way? What was her name again? She's very bad.

Then what are you doing here? I came for you, Scott. I love you just as much as I love my mother. All I did was text you. Do you want to be on the show this? And I was, I said, that's a sign of distress. That is a fake text. I need to go.

Okay. Well, you're here now. There's nothing wrong with me. I just wanted to have you on the show to talk to you. I haven't talked to you in a while. I guess I can breathe again. Yeah. Well, I mean, have you had any interesting cases?

Oh my gosh. I've had so many interesting cases, Scott. As you know, as you have felt, give me your arm. Okay. You're doing it again. I am very strong. I am not the tallest and strongest man in Italy. Yes.

Oh, that's right. You're the tallest man in Italy. Yes. How tall are you? Six for five. There are short people there. I was just there. I was just around for anyone above six, five.

No one. Didn't see them because I was here looking for you. Now, the most recent case I have had, and this one is very in depth. Okay. You ready? Yes. Somebody walked into a building and they walked into the building and the glass from the building, they didn't open the door.

They walked right into the glass. Through the glass? Yes. It broke. It broke completely. Oh no. Cutting them to shreds. Cutting them to shreds.

Yes. And I had to put them back together in the court of law. What? Right in the middle of the court. I had to put them back together. It was so much glue. And Italy and glue does not stick well. Really?

Italian glue is really bad. It's really bad. It's just marinara sauce. It's delicious. Is that a red sauce? It doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah.

I've had Italian glue before. Some people call it gravy. Some people call it red sauce. But Italy, they call it glue. I learned that in the last trip. Interesting. Yeah. He is right.

The things you know when you're a celebrity chef. Yeah. It opens a lot of doors. Yeah. I bet. I would love to come to one of your parties. Yeah. I could have you at a party.

I don't know. Like the kind of people that, I mean, who do you like to, who do you party with? All the Italian celebrities. Yeah. Like who do we got there? Joni Mitchell. Yeah. Okay.

Joni. The Roaches. The Roaches, yeah. I mean, I feel like you're describing more like a Laurel, Laurel Canyon kind of. Jayce Taylor. You know that kind of thing. Yes. The Roaches and Han.

They are older and younger version of each other. The Chamonix movie. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I party with Heim. You party with Heim? Yeah.

I party with Heim. Danny Masterson. You ever party with him? Nah. You know, I used to do a Scientology, Scientology parties. It's just, I mean, those people love the hyages, the cover band. They play Get Lucky All Night. You know, I'm like, hey, it's fun to pretend to be on a boat and everything.

I'd rather be on a real boat. You know what I mean? Yeah. We have Scientology in Italy. You do. It is called Discovery Zone or GZ for short. The children go there to play. I didn't know that.

Is that a real fact? Everything I say is a real fact. I don't know why. I have to. I swear on the stack of Bibles. He's got to lose his lighters. Yeah. If I lie.

Speaking of which, Bob, you know your stuff when it comes to lawyers. Well, I did a TV lawyer. This is a real lawyer. Yeah. But I mean... I was playing a lawyer and if you were to watch my show, you'd probably laugh. I would love to see the... That's not how it is.

I would love to see you guys compete against each other for a case or something. Like, say, Bobby, you have a case, right? You mean me and Karen? Yeah. Yeah. You mean me and character? Yes, exactly. Yes, exactly.

Yeah. Well, yeah. Cowbell Sal, he was on the show once before. I don't know if you remember, but he came on. Do you remember that? Yeah, vaguely. I do. So, I mean, you and character would be the...

I don't have all of the shows catalogued. But every week, I do try to listen to every episode on the show. You edit the wiki, though. A lot of people don't know that. Well, I... Bob is in charge of the comedy. Big, big wiki. I write it in.

But yeah. I got a case. Maybe Cowbell Sal and Jesse cooked the wrong math or something. I put myself in character. So, you and Jesse, and you made bad math. And then I'm there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, you definitely do something...

I mean, I probably would start off, if I'm looking at it, I probably start off thinking like in a chili-rieno direction, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah, of course. So, say it's the case of the chili-rieno. And Jesse and Walter are helping you cook? Don Draper, everybody's just sort of... Yeah.

You know, they... What about Big Pussy? Big Pussy's in. And, you know, it's chili-rienos. I mean, it's like the breading, definitely, you know, like maybe little soda water or something like that. Keep it light fresh on the outside. But that inside gets really hot.

Sure. So, what's the case, though? What are you just describing breading with? Big Pussy bites into a... Oh, okay. A bird's mouth. Bird's mouth. And they want to sue me.

They want to sue me, right? Okay, yeah. How do I defend you? But I'm not supposed to talk during this portion of the trial. I told him, don't say a thing. Shut your mouth. You have been injured eating a very hot chili-rieno. Bonjour, ladies and gentlemen of the court.

I am from Italy. Bonjour. I need everybody to know that my client here has a hot mouth and a Big Pussy. And I represent Mr. Flay, who's an expert chef, and he can do a throw like no one's business. And that's it. Now, you could show the court your throw. If it pleased the court, if it pleased your honor. I mean, if everybody wants to see it.

I mean, if everybody wants to see me do it. If everyone wants to please, I'd like him to show us a throw. He told me not to talk. Show us a throw. Please me. All right. That's it. Now, stay tuned for the rest of this hearing.

Brought to you by Turning Red. That was so loud. I have an issue. I have an issue, Judge. Who is the judge? Who is the judge? Here come the judge. Oh, Judge Edo is here.

Judge Edo is here. Oh, wait. No, maybe none of us want to do Judge Edo. He wants to pronounce it Lito. Judge Lito. Judge Lito. Oh, it's Jared Lito doing research for a role. Oh my God.

This is incredible. Hey, I'll allow it. First of all, Judge Jared Lito, why are you in a yellow face? Because I just washed off my Joker makeup and this was what was underneath. Understood. Judge, bonjour. First of all, I'm from Italy. My name is Italiano Jones.

I'm the tallest lawyer in Italy and the tallest man and strongest man. Throw me something. Throw something off the court. Here you go. Ah, see, I caught it. Now, my... It's just a bean bag. But most weak people cannot catch things.

All right. Listen here, Judge. My client, Big Pussy, has burned his mouth on this man's chili really, no. And I think he was trying to kill him. Is this true? No, I wasn't trying to kill him. On behalf of Mr. Flay, I'm his lawyer. Who are you, sir?

I'm Cowbell Sal. Cowbell Sal, I've heard about you. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen my commercials? The big Cowbell. The big... The world's biggest Cowbell?

Yeah. Ring-a-ding-ding. I'm in your corner. I have seen those. It's an honor to preside. Oh. In front of you. All right.

I'm the lawyer. You're the judge, but... I know, but... All right. I mean, usually they call me your honor, but I'm the one who's honored now. When a chef like Mr. Flay makes his food, he's got other things on his mind. He's got throws coming up. He's got other food coming up.

There's multiple courses, chili brilano, the dessert, different gravies. Sing three. Sing... Is there going to be a sing three? Sing three. I knew there was a sing two. His job is to serve the food as hot as can be so that as time goes by, it remains warm so they can be eaten for the next few minutes or even up to an hour or two.

Right? Isn't that what you said? Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't eat my chili brilano after two hours, and it's not really... Yeah, but in an hour and fifty, an hour and fifty-nine, it's still warm. And that's the key. I mean, you know, when you fry, it does lose a lot pretty quickly. You should shut up.

I told you before you shouldn't talk to me. Open a suitcase. No. Shut... Let's reopen the case. Chili brilano. Right now, I'm reopening the case. I'm reopening the case.

It's an honor to be... Judge? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, they get really hot. They stay hot for a long time. Judge Lido. Lido. Judge Lido.

Lido. If you don't mind, I'd pronounce your name properly. It's an honor to be in front of you. So... Judge Lido. Mr. Flay made the food as hot as he could. When you enter his restaurant, there is a sign. It says, no shoes, no shirt, no service, food served hot.

Really? Piping hot. It's written in Italian. The restaurant that my this big pussy fellow went to is called Pipers, Pipers Hot Restaurant. Is this true Italiano Jones? It is one of Mr. Flay's many, many restaurants. I don't know how many clues he needed to be given that the food would be served hot. There are signs everywhere.

There is the fume symbol of heat rising from an item. It's a cartoon symbol of... Is it like one of those ones you see at the airport where there's fireworks? And that is everywhere. Mr. Flay... Couldn't those be construed though? Cowbell Sal as stink lines like on a pink pen? No one can be sued for being construed.

Oh my gosh. It rhymes. Oh, but it's that case. Why do you keep saying that? You're supposed to be representing this man. My client thought the food was farting. Oh. Yes.

They were stink lines. We thought they were stink lines and we thought the name Pipers came from the location. It was in Piper's Alley in Chicago and that's what we thought that was going on. It's just one location among many. It's just by pure coincidence that it was in Piper's Alley. Can we sidebar? With me? Yes, with the lawyers.

All of us. Bobby, get over here. No. No. Sit down and don't talk. Yeah, I'll sit over here. No throws. I wasn't planning on throwing.

No throws. What do you have to say, Judge? What do you have to say? This guy, Bobby Flay. Yes, he's obviously an East Coast guy with South Coast flavors. Southwest flavors. I'll coach you that. East Coast guy.

Southwest flavors. Southwest flavors. West Coast attitude. Attitude. Sorry. Sorry, he's obviously an East Coast guy. Southwest flavors. West Coast attitude.

Sorry, did you say salad bar? Salad bar. Attitude. Is this a sidebar or a salad bar? Sorry, this is a sidebar. Do me a favor, Bobby. Zip it. I thought he said salad bar, so I came over here.

Did you bring any salad? Dice. Cucumbies. I had some romaine. Just zip it and keep it quiet. Open this. That case. Look, what are we doing, guys?

What is your... This guy obviously doesn't have a case. Who? Big plusy? Neither of them. You know what I mean? Okay, we're not suing anyone. We were sued, and that's why we're here.

Well, you don't have a case. He doesn't have a case. We're not here. We don't want a case. What are we doing here? We don't want a case. Let's go back to my place and party is what I'm trying to say. Would it be okay, hold on a second, if you...

Would you make your own sliders? That's what I have to ask Mr. Flay, because he does the only kind of party he does. I do a lot of... Would you do the prep work? Can we watch Suicide Squad at the party? You'd have to ask Mr. Flay. Count me out. Count me out.

Okay. I rule in favor of Bobby Flay. Wow, because I don't want to watch that movie. I don't want to watch something else. I love House of Gucci. Oh, the Gucci. You like House of Gucci? I love House of Gucci.

It reminds me of home, especially you and Lady Gaga. Okay, well, I rule in favor of you then. Okay, I'm taking back my ruling. All right. Ruling in favor of Big Plusy. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. We're going to have to take the hit on this one. You'll have to do a few more throws, and you'll make the money in no time, and who cares?

That's it for the case of the Chilleriano Bobby Flay lost. Now stay tuned for Suicide Squad, starring Harley Quinn and the boy with the words written on his forehead, rated PG-13. Amazing. Wow. See, Italiano, I mean, you won the case. Thank you so much. I told you I'm the best lawyer. Here's the crazy thing.

He won it by being agreeable. Yeah, by just saying he liked House of Gucci, which no one likes House of Gucci. Did you actually, were you lying? I love House of Gucci. It reminds me of home. It's just like mama used to make. Wow. Incredible.

Well, guys, this is, I mean, great job. My mama made films. Oh, I thought you meant the food or the clothes. My mama made films just like mama used to make. My mama is more Scorsese's mama as well. What? That's my brother. She's in Goodfellas.

Yeah. Well, guys, look, we're running out of time. Italiano, it's great to have you here. Thank you for having me. But we only have one time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. I love my mommy and I love my dad and I sure hope that they won't be too mad because I made a stinky boom boom right in my pants and since I'm 30 and not a baby, it's extremely

sad and I hope there's baby wipes inside of the plug bag. Oh, well, that was charming. That was Baby Made a Boom Boom by Ferg Burger. Thank you so much to Ferg Burger for that wonderful plugs theme submission. What did you think of that, Bob? People have a lot of free time. Bob, what do you want to plug? Obviously, you have some...

Oh, your book too. Want to talk about your book? Oh, yeah, let's talk about my memoir. Comedy, comedy, comedy, drama. If you want to hear all about the obscure comedy of the last 30 years, I can tell you about some of it. That's fair. I've heard it's very good.

I've not read it yet. I wish I brought a copy for you. I wish you had too. I mean, for the book release, we did the party. Oh, you did? Oh, it was great. The courses were done in the same way, comedy, comedy, comedy, and drama. It was funny food for three courses?

Yeah, it was funny food. It was like the grapes from when you go to a haunted house, somebody's haunted house. The grapes that Lucy was stomping. That feel like eyeballs or whatever. Right, well, banana peels. And then, yeah, like some of it's inedible, like the strap of a J.S. Port backpack or stuff like that. Mm, funny.

Yeah, funny. And then how did you do drama? You know, just the drama is, you know, it's dessert, but it's like a chicken figure. You know, it's like, oh, it's not what you thought. Yeah. It's like an M. Night Shyamalan kind of thing. Wow. M. Night was there.

Nicole Scherzinger. You know, the members of Queens Reich were there. You know, I had Michael Rappaport, Leslie Jones. What a team. Rappaport shows up to a lot of your parties. Yeah. Hieronymus Bosch was there. Michael Keaton, obviously, Joe Namath.

It's just a party in here. Wow. OK, so that's in stores now, Bob. Sure, the book is in stores. Also, Cowbell Sal is coming to a close. And he's wrapping up. So please do watch the final two episodes. And he is wrapping during the final two episodes, right?

Well, I'm spoiler alert number 900, but yes, I do wrap most of the episode. Yeah. If you've seen the show, you know, I wrap. It makes sense. Yeah. In your off hours, we always see you like jotting down things in a notebook. Yeah. And I assumed they were raps.

The characters wrap. Yeah. The original rapper. Right. Bobby Flay, what do you want to plug? Anything? Do you know the guy from Future Isle? His raps?

Yeah. I've heard that. I heard he's good, too. How did the name him lock hurts? I've heard he's OK. Yeah. He's pretty good. Yeah.

His 90s style was good. Yeah. You know, you could just, I don't know, follow, I don't know, follow at ShrimpJaj. At ShrimpJAJ. At ShrimpJAJ. That's all you want. Yeah. As a buddy of mine.

Is he at any of your parties? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes, yeah. James lost to Johnson. He comes to some of my parties, you know, him, you know, maybe Layton Meester might be there. I don't know.

You know, the gossip, all the gossip girl people, you know. All the gossip. Yeah. James is a huge fan of gossip girl. Yeah. Well, Bob worked with Layton Meester once. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. Blair Underwood was there. Really? He was under there? Blair from Gossip Girl and also the active Blair Underwood were both there. Really? OK. Incredible.

If you like TV shows, you can scream. You can scream. Scream for you like in TV shows and you can also stream Grant Crew on Peacock or Hulu right now, all the episodes. Oh, that's a great show. And give up for the season two. Also, if you like TV shows like Gossip Girl, there's a podcast that I like. It's called XOXO Gossip Kings where they rewatching the whole series of Gossip Girl.

Listen to that wherever you get your podcast. Also, if you like other basketball TV shows, listen to the Flagger Ones. I hosted by Carl Tart, Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements of Hollywood Handbook Fame. Well, that's a lot of plugs, but I'll allow it. All right. I want to plug. Look, we just finished the first week of the Comedy Bang Bang Tour. I think you might have been on one of these shows.

I will be. You were? I have worked. But we have another three weeks to go starting this Wednesday. We're in San Francisco and then we go to Portland, Vancouver, Seattle and then all over the South and then the East. Come out and see us. You can get all of these tickets over at CBBworld.com slash tour.

And while you're at CBB World, you can also listen to the tour as we're doing it. We're putting up the shows as we do them and all the Maximus subscribers get to listen to those. So subscribe and enjoy the entire tour. And all right, let's close up the old plug bag. Oh, wow, that was fantastic. That was Autumn Plug Bag by Digit Al or Digital. I'm not quite sure how it's spelled.

But thank you to Digit Al for that. And Bob, thank you so much for being here. Such an honor to have you in your pre-ME month here. We'll see what happens, boy. Boy. You gave it a run. Well, you were nominated, so you're going to definitely go. So you get a free party.

I'm starting to paint my tuxedo now. With what? Black paint. Really? Did you buy it white? No, I just think it needs a fresh coat. Okay, great. And Bobby Flay, great to meet you.

You got to do one of our parties here. Yeah, I'd love to do a commie baby party. Yeah, we have weekly parties. Yeah, yeah, definitely. You got to do one. You're a wolf. I mean, I could cook wolf. Yeah, and the ears.

I could get the ears. I mean, the ears aren't necessarily best, but I think it's more the underside. Very succulent. Underside of the ears? I mean, you could do the underside of the ear. I just think it's a little... I don't know. I think the same as like a...

I mean, you could do like a guanciale kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, like a pig ear. You know, you could do like a pig ear, but you're just a wolf ear. Right. Okay, yeah, sure. Whatever you want to do, though, it's great. But, you know, like make it beforehand, though.

You know, I'm going to make you make it. Why? So you can yell at you. It's like a yell at you. All right, all right, I get it. You're going to bring the knives. You're inexperienced with knives that sharp. You're going to cut yourself.

I yell at you. I call you. You stupid. Your parents made bad financial decisions in the 80s. You know, just general results. Actually, they actually did. And Italiano Jones, thank you for fighting for me. I will always fight for you, Scott.

I love you just like my mama. It's weird that you love me as much as you love your mama. You have done more for me than she has. I mean, she gave you life. What have I given you? She never let me come to the Sunset Boulevard area. It's the Sunset Boulevard area. We got to be sure.

All right, guys. We'll see you next week. Thanks. Bye.