Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bone-In Salami Sliders (Jason Mantzoukas, Seth Morris, May Darmon, Owen Burke)

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

Jason Mantzoukas joins us to talk about living the pumpkin spice life and how to not look weird when running on film. Then, Scott’s former stepfather Bob Ducca returns with tales of adventurous menu items and arcade injuries—occasionally interrupted by The Wolf. Next, Austrian exchange student Peter Streusel discusses his recent stay in Los Angeles. And finally, first-time guest Queasy Jeans stops by to spread folksy wisdom. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We know what I'm going to mix off. Come to be back, bye, come to be bang, bang, ma'am, come to be back in. We know who's on first and what's on second, but my wife and I saw you from across the bar and would love for you to be our third. Oh. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you. They're Polly, baby.

Thank you to Quinn the Basin Bennett for that catchphrase submission. Love your nickname, The Basin. Yeah. What do you think that's about? Wow. I wonder if it's like the Basin Street Blues or if it's like a like an actual basin to what? To wash it to pee into?

Sure. I was going to say to like wash your clothes in or something like that. I was thinking like a bedpan kind of situation. Okay. Then why not like the bedpan? Yes. What's that person's name? Quinn the bedpan.

Benet. Quinn the Bedpan Bennett. Your nickname is officially changed. Change all of your logins. Change your passwords. Change your social security number probably if that's possible. Yes, because I'm sure they had already changed it to the basin. Can you change your social security number? To a word? Yeah, to a word. Yep. With, can you get any symbols in there? Oh, yeah, yeah. You have to now include a couple of symbols. Okay, good. And uppercase and lowercase. Yeah. Maybe a heart emoji, you know? Definitely. Definitely. You can, you can choose from like six different emojis. Can you do the panting emoji? It's heart. It's dancing lady and red. dress it's eggplant it is 100 yellow thumb up yellow thumb up and the greek flag oh wow oh the

which is great for me yeah fantastic hey welcome to comedy bang bang for another week uh my name is scott ockerman i'm the host of comedy bang bang coming up a little later on the show so far you're the host up until this point here we are 2025 you remain the host for the past 16 plus years i've been there be a coup sure a bloodless coup i hope who knows we know you know you never know. They never say whether it was bloodful or bloodless. A blood full. Bloodful coup. There was a bloodful

coup. Hopefully that won't be you though. No, no, no. I would do it peacefully. Yeah. I would, I would, I hope I would say something like etu, Jason or something. Oh, that would be so cool and classy. I would love that. You know, the immortal bard. Oh, of course. Speak to Spearsatrapra.

As it comes trippingly off the tongue, et cetera, et cetera. And he invented et cetera, et cetera, right? He did. Yeah, he was the first known recorded person. I can't believe they had recordings then that we don't have access to. He was the first known E.T. He was the first known E.T. Yeah, he wrote down. He wrote down. But da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

Mary Hart's legs. Yeah, remember those? She got them insured for a million dollars. I think they were fake. You think they were. I think she's an Oscar Petrory. What's his name Petrarius? I think they were an Oscar Petrarius. Petronus? I think, yes, expecto patronum. I think they were an Oscar patroness. What if Harry Potter was there and just suddenly he was like,

I called to imagine my petronus. Yes, he is. And then this guy with his fake legs, his big spear legs comes over and just stabs her and kills his girlfriend and shoots his girlfriend through the bedroom door. You know this person. I do want to say it's coming up a little later. What are you going to say? Coming up a little later, we have a foreign exchange student on the show.

We also have someone from America's heartland. Wait, they let you keep participating in the foreign exchange program? That's right. Just people move in and out of here all the time. So remember here at Comedy Bang Bang, We Care. That's our tagline for 2025. I love that.

Yeah. Almost done. Wrapping it up. Almost that, yeah. We need a new tagline, by the way. So, yeah. We're putting the big giant's Christmas bow on the year. Right.

Because this is a Christian podcast. Everybody knows this is a Christian podcast. Don't say a holiday bow, Jason. Oh, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. I doubled down on your Christmas, Beau. Speaking of doubling down, he is a man with two names. He is...

And only two names. I have no middle name. That's right. And if anyone... By the way, he does have a secret one. If you can guess it and you say it to him on the street, he has to give you all his goals. It's a rumple stillskin scenario.

Yep. And your baby back. Baby back. Baby back. Baby back. Baby back. You know him from such shows as Percy Jackson. Yes. The weird guy with the lightning stuff.

Yep. You know I'm from one of the Star Trek things. One of them. You watch them all and you'll figure it out. Of course he's the TikTok man and the John Wickaverse. Okay, TikTok, Mr. Wick. Yes, that's right. Please welcome back to the show.

Jason Manzukas. Scotty, thrilled to be here. I mean, here we are. It is autumn 2025 and we are living the dream. The leaves have all changed colors here in Los Angeles. You drinking that pumpkin spice life? I don't, wow, it's so loud. Everybody just reached for the knobs.

Now, we have a volume normalization on this. I have an update. I listen to this podcast. You don't. Oh, really? No, you're screaming constantly. Here we are in the fall. And I'm here to admit.

I'm here to admit. What do you want to eat, Victoria, ribs? Okay, Prince. Oh, I don't serve. Okay, here's a real question. And I will answer your question before. But what I really want to know is how can we see the six-hour prints documentary that the family? Nine?

Okay, then rather the nine. Oh, that, you're right. It is nine. Yeah. Because that was the argument they used. If anyone has, you know, the filmmaker made nine. There's one guy who sends, who sends me all this bootleg stuff all the time. Really?

Yeah, he has his own podcast. He's a fellow podcast. Oh, I love this. I think I know who it is. Yeah, he sends me all this kind of stuff. If anyone has it, he has it. Great. You know who you are a guy.

Griffin. Send us, send us this shit. Send us that shit. And I'm also looking for the six-hour Griffin already knows this, because I've tasked him already, the six-hour Tom Cruise acting class. workshop. I haven't heard about this. This is, I only just recently heard about, Tom Cruise has apparently made a six-hour acting class video,

a la the Michael Kane videos that got past around years ago. Um, sorry, did you want to do a, uh, did you want to do it? I was bringing back my character from the Austin Powers franchise, which is the young Michael King. Yes, I remember. Yes. So beautiful. Yes. Now, and how long did, I worked up for the, uh, audition and never got to use in the finished product? How long did you, uh, live with Michael Kane? Uh, we were roommates. studying him. We were in the back cave together.

I was Batman for a brief period and he was Alfred. That's so cool. And then they replaced me. Yeah. You get replaced a lot. Yeah. They replaced me in the Austin Powers movie with real footage. With just your back.

Well, no, they used my own back. Yeah. But a lot of people felt like that even your back wasn't a compelling performance. Yeah. People were tuning out during that scene. People tuned out in the theaters. In the theater. they switch channels. Hey, can we switch channels on this thing? Yeah, I understand. Anyway,

Michael Kane, Tom Cruise, he has a six-hour acting workshop that I'm like genuinely intrigued. Yeah, I'd love to know. What is it like hang off the side of a building for five minutes? Well, I hope it's, I hope the other thing that I heard, and this is I suspect an apocryphal story, is that Tom Cruise told Glenn Powell, his perceived successor, that he needs to as soon as possible look at video of yourself running because you don't look as cool as you think. Was he talking about Mission Impossible 3 with the big, this, the huge arms? He does that run in all the Mission Impossible. He doesn't, well, are you kidding?

I have to, I have to. In the final reckoning, he runs for, I'm going to say 75% of the movie. He, he, look, this has come up on my other show, Scott hasn't seen. I don't, I don't, I don't listen to it. He doesn't do the big arm movements. He doesn't do the arms in every single movie. He does the arms in every single movie. What?

I know these movies like. I don't think you do. I don't think you do. He's trotted it out for like three seconds in one of them. He does it in all of them because he thinks it looks cool as hell. Anyway, look it up. Just mankazookas here. Mankazookus?

Yep. Jason Mank Azucas. Mankus. God damn it. Mank was about you, wasn't it? I, yes, yes. When you were blacklisted? Yeah, oh my God.

Remember when I was Mank? Yep. That was a great. I mean, the reboot is good. Yeah. What's the guy's name in it? Gary Collins would. who is it gary collins gary collins is mank gary collins is mank in mink two terror on the lot

it's wonderful to have you back jason you're a great friend thrilled to be here we love to have you on this auspicious day i think that uh it is an auspicious day is it not i love you got whoa holy shit that scared the hell out of me was that you jason no it was not someone else is here it's he's right there i'm right here oh my god i turned my head slightly to the left you're right you're two inches away from me sorry how did you get in here i zealiged on you guys you full on you fully zealick does what does that mean i turned into the i turned into my environment oh oh i understand i have such a lack of personality that i i become my surrounding what's crazy is you're wearing so much so many like metal uh uh apparatus you're wearing so much noisy stuff

but you yet snuck in here sat down put cans on and got all set up in a microphone without us hearing any of it. Yeah. That's right. I also think it's amazing you're using Zelig as a reference after the whole Woody Allen stuff instead of just comedian. What happened? Oh, my gosh.

I mean, it's been so long. I don't even remember. Oh, boy. You know what? Maybe nothing. Yeah, that's what these things are like, right? You just write it out. Truly.

I mean, he was just on Bill Maher. That's right. A fellow podcaster. We protect our own in this case. He went to the night cave. What is it called? No, it's, what is it called? What is it called?

It's called Club Random. He went to Club Random. He went to Club. He went to Club. The night gave. Boy, would I love to be a fly in the wall at Clubb Random with Woody Allen. Can you imagine those conversations like the Algonquin Roundtable? Oh, it's like a club random.

A table at Elains, except now it's Club Random. That's two tiny man on giant puffy chairs. Puffy chairs. Boy, that came up in the trial, I think. You don't want to be bent over one of those. The puffy chair? The Duplas Brothers first one? movie? Not sure about that.

But hi, Bob. Bob, Bob Duka is here. Bob, for the newer listener, Bob is my ex-stepfather. He was married. Oh, no. I anticipated what you're going to ask. He's married to my mother for six months. Six glorious months. Back in the, still a deep part of your family.

90s, I think. And, yeah, anyway. I'm unwell, Scott. Oh, I'm so sorry. Let me get to it. How are you? Pretty good. No, that's not true.

That was a reflex. I happen to not be in the neighborhood and I thought I'd come by Get some solace from you Because we become As the years go by I think of you more Almost like a best friend

Rather than the father I would love to segue out of our father Son relationship But that'll always be there I'm not very comfortable with I don't think that moving into the best friend territory Is exactly where I want to go That's salt and meat

That'll always be together What an incredible relationship To be able to have a father-son dynamic that blossoms in adulthood into best friends. Into just acquaintances. That would be amazing for me. Why are you putting so many walls up? I don't know.

I don't know. What is it about me? I feel like I have too many close relationships in my life. You're probably spoiled as a child. They spared the rod. So if that means anything to you. Then up go the walls. So Bob, what's going on with you?

Why are you so and well? Thanks for asking. Yeah. I recently went to Dave and Buster, isn't it? A horrible, horrible experience. Oh, no, it's such a fun place. That's what I thought. What were the, what context did you go?

Yeah, why were you there? You were part of a birthday party? I was looking for a contractor. And it's not, wait a minute. Going table to table? You thought, wait, wait, and you thought, did you think Dave and Busters was some place? Yeah, someplace where they would congregate? Yes.

Yeah, okay. Yes, I thought it was their shop. And if one was named Dave, all the better. Sure, sure. But in your mind, contractors are traditionally named Dave or Buster, so this must be a place where Dave's and Busters are? Well, I needed specific work done. Which was?

Demo, a deconstruction. Busting. Yes. And I've never met a Dave that I don't trust. Okay. Trust to bust? And what kind of works? To other people?

I go, you can't trust this. Do do, do, do, do, do. I don't know the reference. What do you need busted? what is what's happening in your life i hope please don't say ghosts you uh yeah if it's ghosts i mean i know that we're in uh almost in october in a couple of days but uh it's not time for the hollinois episode so if you're talking about ghosts i'm out for this reason i'm out okay sharks i got a you know how pregnant women will get a cast of their tummy no i don't know this

you never heard of that tell us more about this bob where do we where do you how did you We started about pregnant ladies' tummies. I do happen to notice that you have quite a bit of plaster of Paris in your bag. And I can't get it off. I was advised. I was advised by my life coach to mother myself. I have an inner child, of course. So that means I have an outer mother.

Inner child, outer mother. And as you know, I'm dripping with estrogen. Good Lord. Just a word I would never want you to use. I'm going in male perimenopause. What does that entail, exactly? Well, look at these tits. You tell me.

Put them on the glass. Just so I can see them a little. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You manograms here? Managrams? Managrams. Managrams, yes. I'm just making sure.

So what, are you trying to, are you saying that you're constructing a large? I had my, I had a cast made of my tummy. Okay. That I would then put up in my home. Okay. to send reverence and to my inner child. So you don't wear it, you just made it. You don't crawl into a giant cast of the...

You put the plaster on your tummy. Okay. It hardens. And by the way, thank you for using the word tummy. Oh, yes. Rather than any medical terms. Right. And then you make a statue of that.

You know when people do that with their faces, they make a thing of their face. I've seen the comedy and drama math. up on the wall of any woman I've ever dated since 1985. Wow, you've been dating since the 805? I am. Interesting. Anyway, and I couldn't get this plaster off. I used the wrong combo.

Oh, wow. And I'm very mad. I got it from a slime YouTuber. I got the recipe from a slime YouTuber. What is the slime YouTuber? They make slime. Oh, okay. Do they pour it on themselves a la Nickelodeon?

No, they just. just make it. It's slime, you know, slime. It's wrong slime. Wrong slime. Oh, okay. Yeah. Good reference. Idiot. And anyway, I couldn't get it off. So I went to Dave and Busters, and it turns out it's not a licensed contractor or a demo place. There's not a sledgehammer in site. Was anyone there close to a contractor? There were some people in MAGA shirts. Okay. That tracks.

Food. It's an arcade. Games arcade, a game imporium. We know what Dave and Buster. Yes. We've been. It's a. It's a. big place they have sports TVs they have no we are they have food they just have TVs with sports on no I don't think so what do you mean different TVs for different events no yes not a movie TV no they are the same Bob not not are the same you only need one wait a minute are you switching your TV out anytime you want to watch a different type of program at your house I met Costco or are you or are you not watching certain things because you want you think it won't appear on your TV. The res is bad. Bad res. Speaking of bad res, I made a bad

reservation. Oh, no, where? Where? At Dave and Buster. Oh, what happened? There was plenty of cease, but they wanted me to make a reservation. There's a matre d there. So I decided to check it out, even though I knew the menu would not be good for me. I was very, very hungry. Okay. Why is the menu not good for you? Oh, just because of your food intolerances? Yes. Yes. What did you end up eating. Thanks for asking. I ate these foods and they got me very, very sick. And if I could have just a moment of silence.

Sure. When I read these off, I want people to understand that this is a very emotional time for me. And as I read these, I'm letting them go. The following is a list of foods that I recently ate at Dave and Busters. Smash burger Smoke ass ribs with honey glaze Atari sauce Cheese stick stack Barbacoa casidia

Loaded barbacoa fries Lee Ayacocca onion rings Meat lovers funnel cake Pretzel dog French toast Treffle dusted lost and found salad Loaded nachos yoked nachos buff nachos

with blue Lives Matter dipping sauce Punisher flag nachos with go rock queso and a side of bullets fajitas lamb and pepper chicken wings

with Nintendo dip berry pepper chicken wings Red Bull pancakes with honey barbecue chunks Applewood smoke bartender key card Aoli tasting flight, slurpy martini, halapino Guinness, Habanero smart water, garlic parm banana bread, pan-fried arcade bologna, bone-in salami sliders, hand-bredded chimp strips with sake of glaze, pickle brined crispy pigeon sandwich, southwest sandwich. plate, northeast carp platter, four corners diarrhea bone, beer battered onion rings, and breaded

elder abuse matrily sticks, all of which left me feeling very, very ill. Yeah, Bob, wow, that's... That's, you ate all of that? Yes. Aside from the quality of food, just being mount, yeah. Oh, you thought the menu was a... was a game i thought everything was a game did they give you tickets afterwards did did you win anything they did i they did give me they felt bad they said if i didn't sue they'd

give me uh tokens wow oh tokens to play other and it only got worse from there oh no oh what the following are injuries that i received in the arcade playing the games oh gosh oh god although these were playing i was playing games but i didn't realize i was playing with my life Human claw machine wedgy I was roughed up by arcade urchins Halotosis Dance Dance Revolution meniscus tear First person shooter cooties

Fortnite sweats Held diverticulosis Curved spine craft Centipiatric Diabetes Gallagatism The legend of Zika Breath of the Wild Tears of the Kidney Cists

And it's a me, Mercer It's a me, Merza So as you can imagine, I feel awful Bob, I'm so sorry Now I'm your problem because I need solace I look, we're in the middle of a show I don't know if you know that, but we're recording comedy, bang, bang, bang, right now. Yeah. I mean, Jason and I hang out occasionally, but...

And we hang out occasionally in front of microphones. Yes, of course. But, um, but yes, no, we are recording that. I thought these were like steampunk hearing aids that you had with these big... No, no, these are, yeah. Sounds like you're leading into a new list. Well, Bob, we'll do what we can. I mean, this sounds like a terrible ordeal for you. Is there anything, yes, is there any...

Can we call someone on your behalf? You guys are rich. Do you do that weird thing where they come with IV drips? I have had that. I've done it. Like a chicken soup, Ivy drip or whatever. It's not chicken soup.

It's mainly meds. Those Burt Kreischer post-party IV drips. I don't know if they're branded that way. I don't know what Bert Kreiser does with this time. We can look into whether. Oh, like you don't listen to two bears one cave. Look, I love podcasters, but that's, That's not one that I part took upon.

What are your favorite podcasts, Bob? I'm just so curious, like, it sounds like you listen to 10-10-win's news. Okay, yeah, you give us 10 minutes, we'll give you the world. Uh-huh. Traffic and weather on the ones. Okay, well, that's still 10-10 wins. Yeah, why do you only have 10 minutes, Bob? It seems like you don't do anything.

I got things to do it. You don't have a job. I think you might just be listening to New York Radio, New York, AM Radio. I can't imagine that's a podcast. Brian Lair. Okay, now that's WNYC. That's a new...

I don't think so. Brian Lair, he's the morning man on WNYC in New York. Trust us. We know about these things. Anyway, there's a lot of them. Do not say Ceterious Johnson. Well, Bob, I don't know what we can do. Bob Edwards.

Sure. But you can stick around and do the show with us if that's... Okay, what do I do? Leonard Lopate. I mean, you're just sort of a co-host, sort of like what Jason does. Okay. You know, interrupts all the time. Okay.

Okay. We'll do. You'll be, you'll be, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be like the, the, the, the, the wolf or something. You're Scott Ackerman and the wolf. I don't know that you need to adopt a persona. Hey, let's try it. My wife made me go buy tampon. Hey, Wolf, you're married?

Ah, boy, don't even, uh, remind me of it. Boy. Oh, okay. She's, she, she, she, she brought it up. Yeah, yeah. She cheated. on me. Wolf, no.

What happened? After, before you bought her the tampons. She did. What happened? I bought her, yeah, I bought her the tampons. Okay.

I tried to save money. Oh, no. And what did you do? What'd you end up buying? I went to an army surplus store. I bought her old World War II gauze. She got that.

World War II gauze? gauze like a medic supply sure sure sure yeah yeah yeah that's not you you don't want to put that anywhere near a sensitive area yeah that's they're called mash pads I believe you yeah it's just no I believe you too how would you know to do that why not just go by tampons in other words I don't hey man I'm a guy I don't want to do that classic wolf hey call call in right now if you've ever been in that situation where your lady says come buy your tampons and you're well if we can't take calls on but but that is how about this though if you want to to call in to a future episode, leave a voicemail for Scott, send Scott a voicemail that's

asking the wolf any questions you have come up? And tell me which stocks are going off right then and then I'll know now to get to get them. Sure. I don't know that in the future that'll help you out. But people can leave that information in their voicemails as well. Yeah, leave stock information and what was the other thing? Any questions you have for the wolf. If that's ever happened to you before where your your wife says to go by tampons and you instead go to the Army Navy Surf Plus and buy and buy Mashpad? You're just trying to watch

the game and she says, can you get at a what game are you watching? The one the guy, oh man the new they hire the Japanese guy came in and they're spending it so expensive that one you mainly watch for the salaries is that

what I'm getting well look wolf or bob or whoever we love this i love having bob in as the wolf this is great yeah if you want to stay in character as the wolf the entire time we usually don't have people coming in and doing characters but if you want to do that that's fine okay they can i mean i will say bob it came so naturally oh thank you almost as if you've been preparing for this your entire life really you were so deep in it it's like i was it's weird i was bit by a morning DJ one time. Oh, boy.

Was he radio active? Was it Wolfman Jay? I don't know. But then I heard that there was a curse that I may turn into one. Yeah. Oh, boy. A midday wolf transformation? Look, Jason and Wolf, you're going to stay as the wolf.

Yeah. We need to take a break. Let's get the lead out. Yeah, we have a big show. Is it two for Tuesday as well? So we got two Led Zeppelin songs coming your way? I think, yeah, we're going to do two Led Zeppelin songs, and a few ads and then when we come back

we're going to have a foreign exchange student and coming up a little later we have someone from America's Heartland. This is a packed show. This is amazing. Incredible stuff. We're going to be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang Bang with Jason and the Wolf. After this. Wow. Comedy Bang Bang, bang, we're back.

Of course, Comedy Bang Bang with Jason and the Wolf. We have Jason Manzookas here. All right. We're back with the wolf. What's up, Wolfman? Did you know you could do a Wolfman, Jack? I mean. All right.

This is this catchphrase of course. We also have the Wolf here, who is our co-host, at least for the foreseeable future. Is this ever happening here? And your wife's like, where's the remote control? And you're like, hey, I'm, I'm, like, I got to take you time. This fence, I got to fix this. You want me to fix a fence or you want the remote control? And you just, why not both?

Like, she could watch whatever she wants while you fix the fence. That's a good point. just do the wolf just do the wolf just do the wolf call we'll save it yeah oh god that's like a wolf impersonating a dying duck is the wolf okay the wolf has lupus oh how ironic lupine lupine lupus lupine lupus oh i'm so sorry to hear that wolf oh well uh you know our best goes out to you in family as you try to get through this difficult time. But we do need to get to our next guest.

Let's see, he's a foreign exchange student. This is fascinating. Every once in a while, we bring people on from different cultures, different countries. And we like to talk to them about their lives. And today is no exception. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Peter Strusal. You guys. Hi.

Hey, Peter. How are you? I'm amazing. Oh, wow. Oh, that's awesome. You guys, it's so good to be here. So good to have you. Uh, this is, uh, the wolf.

Hi. Hold on. If I may speak in my regular voice, I'm actually Bob. Bob. That was incredible. Thank you. I couldn't believe how he became the wolf. Right?

Oh, wow. I'm Jason. Just so you know. Jason. And also known as Jeffrey Character Wheaties. Oh, yes. Can we hear from Jeffrey? Yeah.

And I am Jeffrey Character Wheaties. Yeah. So, yeah, very different. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's so talented here. And Scott, I know.

you because I've been staying in your guesthouse. That's right, yes. I have multiple guest houses on the property and I like to bring people in from various other cultures. It's so generous of you to be hosting people from other cultures. Peter, where are you, where do you hail from? I'm from Austria. Oh, wow. Austria.

Yeah. And I've been having summer here and staying in Scott's guest house. I did want to ask summer over at this point. How much longer are you going to be here? Well, that's the question. It's autumn now. It's so beautiful out. Oh, my God.

You have to stay here for autumn. It's so great. Oh, California, autumn's. They're so amazing. It's 86 degrees. It's beautiful. The leaves are turning that orange and red, the crisp air. Oh, I can't wait.

And that's actually, I'm looking for a place to stay. Sounds like Scott doesn't want me anymore. Oh, yes, he does. No. I could be. I could, I don't know, I could reconsider if you like. What, what do you have plans to do while you're here? I guess go hiking.

Sure. Okay, I guess I meant more long term, like, why do you want to stay here? Oh, it's so beautiful. And also probably for like medical procedure, maybe. Oh, wow. Yeah. What's happening? You guys.

Boy, Bob, I mean, the wolf's ears pricked up. Is that part of a thing? If you're an exchange student, do you get medical procedures? well did you maybe we could swap you for bob over here and you could go to austria and get some medical procedure well no it sounds like a medical change for for a medical procedure but if you swap maybe you'll get if it's an exchange program maybe you can go and get austrian medical procedure while peter's getting american are you looking for medical procedure i want an austrian colonoscopy what's the difference between the two chocolate oh okay chocolate comes out instead of

I don't think that's chocolate. I don't think that's chocolate. And the same stuff comes out here. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. It's just that our chocolate is worse than Europe's chocolate. Yeah. Yeah.

Austria. Now, does it, I feel like everything smells like candy there. It really does. It's so wonderful over there, but not as good as here in Los Angeles, in Scotspool. USA, baby. Oh, wow. And so how long have you been here? What have you been doing for your summer?

Well, I had an internship before. Great. And then it ran out. So my visa was in a tricky situation. Oh, be careful. Right now. You guys, I was scared. But then Scott sponsored me.

Thank you, Scott. Oh, yeah. I actually, no, I called ICE. It was very, I mean, I know I can see where the confusion is, but no, I ratied you out, actually. I don't know why they haven't shown up. Well, actually, ICE did show up. We became the best of friends. Oh, yeah.

You guys, they're not so bad. This is the wolf. You know, I'm better with Dean Cain, and I've got to say this guy's getting a bad. You don't have to say this is the wolf. Well, I just want to have people to say this is the wolf. And seen. The wolf, I'm the wolf. That Dean Cain is, speaking to ice, you know, he's like, he's incredible,

in incredible shape and he's doing something amazing. How's he doing he injured himself doing that obstacle course? I know. Oh, I didn't hear about that. Oh, yeah. Even with his fingerless gloves? He's feeling the cane pain right now. Yeah.

But so, Peter, so you've made friends with ice. You're here for a while. They're not that bad, according to you. Wow. And so what's, you want some medical procedures? Yeah, what is it you want to do with your life? What is it that you want, medically speaking? Or is this a necessity?

It's a necessity. Oh, no. Fortunately, yeah. But it's kind of depressing. We don't even have to talk about it. We can talk about Los Angeles in autumn, so beautiful. It's gorgeous. It is.

It is gorgeous. But yeah, I do need to get a very serious transplant. Okay, it sounds like you on. And the fall is the perfect time of year to go for a picnic. Yes. You know, go take a picnic into the park. Gorgeous picnic. My favorite park, Elysian.

Sure. It's a good one. I mean, we could name Los Angeles landmarks all day, but it's not. Oh, please. Oh, please. Yeah. When I said that, I kind of made a fantastical. You started it, Scott, go ahead. Ray's famous pizza.

Mm-hmm. The battery. The automotive museum on Wilshire. Johnny's across the street? Nope. But look. This is the longest Scott has ever talked to me. Oh, wow.

Scott, why aren't you talking to Peter? Well, I didn't realize Peter that that was part of the arrangement that we had. I mean, I basically sent someone over there to Austria. and someone I was trying to get rid of here and I didn't realize we had to talk. That was the exchange. Yes. Yeah.

But what's the transplant? Because I know people with extra stuff. And just out of curiosity, only because it's moving into autumn and fall in all that comes with it, Peter, are you a pumpkin eater? What's pumpkin? What's pumpkin?

Do you not have pumpkins in Austria? And we do want to get to whatever transplant you need. That I just want to be clear. But we would love to get to the bottom of this. pumpkin situation. Yeah, I, me too. How does it look? Well, it's, uh, look, I mean, it's, have you ever seen a basketball?

The most orange ball? Yeah. Los Angeles is a good start. Beautiful, so full of basketball courts where I play one-on-one. Really? Against whom? Yeah. In Bellevue Park.

Nice. In Barnsdale Park. Great one, all the Bs, all the B parks. And then I said it lesion as well. You said a leisure, yeah. We're going alphabetically with the parks. Yep. We're moving backwards.

So basketball pretty much. I'm on the same page, you guys. Okay, so imagine a basketball, but then put like a little green or kind of off-white stem on the top of it. A gourd. Oh, okay, a gourd. That's a better way of describing what a-much-better way. You know a pumpkin is a fruit? Is it really?

Yeah. All gords are fruits. Great. Just letting you know. There you go. Thanks, Wolf. This is what? speaking of parks i work out at venice beach because i love it's it's medically proven in the

hot hot hot sun you can lift more weight oh wow yeah you were you seem to be since last i saw you though have lost quite a bit of weight i have yeah are you on the shot are you on ozempic uh-huh i don't know if it's cool to ask yeah i have an ozempic sniper i don't they don't tell me when it's coming yeah because i don't i feel like it's effeminate to take it sure sure i just have I hire somebody and say, It wouldn't be so bad. Sure, sure. So you just have someone with a tranquilizer gun,

but instead of delivering a tranquilizer, the dark pop out, they do it in the cutest ways. Oh, yeah. Sometimes at 500 yards. Yep. Sometimes they're just in a garbage can and they come up. Oh, my God, the wolf. I think I saw you in Venice.

Oh, yeah. Are you skateboarding? Yeah, I skateboarding no shirt and thick jeans. How many ounces are those jeans, man? They seem heavy and raw. These jeans have not lost in the weight. That salvage is heavy and raw. They haven't a width of like an inch and a half or something.

Incredible. Yeah. These are car hearts from the 70s. Oh my gosh. They're made out of fire hose. O ounces, you say. Yeah. They use them to cut diamonds.

Like fluid. It's fluid ounces. Yep. So the jeans are wet. Yeah. On the inside. They get poured on. They're wet on the inside.

I have I have mushrooms in my legs. Oh, wow. What's the biggest culture shock when you're, when you're out here, the wolf? Oh, thank you, you guys. And thank you, the wolf. For me, it's having to be not being with my cat. Oh, well, you left your cat in Austria? Yeah, I left Eddie.

What's your cat's name? Eddie. Eddie is in Austria. Oh, how old? Oh, five. Oh, okay. Wow. And we used to be inhuman.

Oh, in humans. And we used to go on so many adventures. What is cat years? Yeah, what is cat years, Scott? Isn't there some sort of formula? They have nine lives, which means, like, if you divide, you know, an average cat lifespan by nine, those are cat years. What's an average cat lifespan?

How what, I mean, they're like, 18, yeah. So you divide that by nine. Every two years is a cat year, I think. Two years is a cat. Yeah, so your cat is like two and a half cat years. Oh, wow. So cats are younger. Yeah, oh, yeah.

Oh, that's amazing. That's awesome. So as your cat gets older, it gets younger? Interesting. That's great news. Because I love Eddie. Oh, wow. Why leave Eddie for so long and why stay here?

I mean, I'm not pushing you to go back. I just, who's taking care of Eddie? What's happening with Eddie? Yes. Well, even though I am now friends with the ice guys, we are at an impasse. I can't travel internationally and want to return here. Right. So Eddie having to wait.

But I love Eddie. And we go on so many adventures together, you guys. Oh, like one of those weird outdoor cats? Yeah, he ride my shoulder. Oh, cool. Like a bird? Yeah. Wow.

And again, who's taking care of Eddie? Or is anyone taking care of Eddie? Oh, Eddie's tough. Okay. Eddie's tough, cat. This is not making me feel better about the whole city. So Eddie's on his own. Yeah.

So I miss him terribly. I wish he was here. What's up with Eddie? Oh, he's a really tough guy. Okay. He's probably, probably. Now, when you say tough, you furrow everything. You furrow everything.

You furrow. It's a full, full body furrow. Guys, I'm pretty sure Eddie defied her, okay? Oh, I believe it. Yeah, so he's being good, probably. And I bet I can't wait to see him again. Oh, I bet, I bet Eddie's doing great, is Bob. I bet he said doing great.

I bet he's like hanging out in an alley playing fishbone marimbas, just, Like a garbage can, like Heathcliff? Like top cat? Yeah. Sure. Once they go homeless, you get a hat. Oh, yeah. One where the top is kind of like,

too and off and it's... He's not a donkey. No, it's a cat. It's a street cat. He's just got like a jaunty cap. Yeah. Are you saying you think maybe Eddie having fingerless gloves?

Wow. Could be. Does Eddie have any, like, demonstrable skills? Like, how is he, do you think, is he like busking? Can he play an instrument? Or what does he do? Does he do tricks?

He's really calm. Oh, cool. Like when I found him, start putting him on my shoulder. He didn't fight it at all. I don't know whether I would pay to see that, but... That's cool as hell, though. You would pay to see that?

No, I would... A calm cat? You're saying now you're paying to see that? No, no, I'm saying I would not. I'm sorry, are contractions difficult for you? I would not pay to see that. Okay, so you're paying me. So you would pay.

You would pay to not see it? Okay, no, again. But I'm afraid... Look, I hate to say this, Peter, but I think Eddie, if not dead already, Eddie doesn't have long for this world without somebody to take care of him, I mean. Have you not heard that Eddie's a fighter? Oh, I guess I missed that. They must have, this is the wolf.

Don't they have socialized garbage in Austria? Everything's free. You probably get like socialized cat medicine, I bet, is part of it. Well, hopefully someone's looking after Eddie. We wish the best for Eddie. I know what you're trying to do. You don't want me anymore in the pool house. So you're trying to convince me to leave.

I just had a great idea. Yeah. Instead, why don't we... I live with you. That's possible, by the way. But what I was going to pitch is, why don't we raise a little bit of money on the podcast and bring Eddie to America? Okay. Because I agree with you, Scott.

I think that Peter and Eddie need to be reunited, but I think it needs to be on American soil. Some sort of go fund me where we have to pay for someone to locate Eddie first. Go fund yourself. That's a good idea. the wolf calling right now if you want to donate some money to give Eddie going and the fifth caller because it was getting a ticket to two to

you're going to get a ticket to the six flags yeah yeah fifth caller gets a ticket to six flags six flags save Eddie yeah I look California's great and all I just I don't know why you you know you're only here for a little bit of time I I unless something's going on in your life where you need to stay here

or do you need to emigrate or do you think I could do it I believe in you if that's what you're asking. I would love to be here permanently. Wow. This is Bob. This is Bob. I'll marry you.

I'll marry you, but we have to. I want to become an Austrian citizen. I want to be a prince. Oh, wow. Bob or the wolf, I'd love to marry you. So you could stay here. But I have to be honest, you guys. I'm not royalty.

Are you sure? about how you'd be prince what about those puffy velvet jodspers you're wearing what about those peter yeah what about those peter what about those and that that that that velvety crown thing on your head yeah peter what about those no we're asking you that peter oh what whoa oh wait okay so are you are you sure you're not royalty who this is not like a jettie mind trick kind of situation Just a pure question The type of which we ask on the show all the time Oh, oh, oh, oh, this is Bob

I bet you, I bet you are you a prince and you just want to be a regular boy And that's why you don't want to go back Whoa You want to make your way Situation, Prince and Popper? Uh-huh Prince and Popper Oh, yeah

P and P. And P. That other morning radio team P&P, Prince and the Popper Yeah That was when Prince and John Popper teamed up, I think. Yes, I don't want to see that documentary For nine hours. You know what?

I have to come clean I guess you got me I'm pretty much a prince Whoa Peter you're a prince And I'll make sense now You're a prince of a man I'll say that

Yeah I just wanted to have Real college experience Wow And so I came here And sleeping in Scott's pool house It's not really a real college Experience sleeping in my poolhouse

It's not not like a college It's like you know The room is trashed you keep it really messy It's just a bunch of video games and porn old porno tapes and by the way I lied about my cat too

what's going on with your cat or do you even have one well it's actually a big tiger because I'm yeah because you're a royalty yeah wow yeah okay I think you're tiger Eddie's fine then how cool and guess what his name's not Eddie what is it what you guys

his name's Claus Claus yeah and he lives in the palace oh wow whoa wait a minute is he like can he like do because is he like super fancy can he talk can he do like special stuff you're silly okay no okay well but he's tough oh of course i would i bet he's a fighter are frightening remember how i said he's a fighter yeah yeah now it makes sense now that he's a tiger now it's making sense yeah that's cool if i was royalty i do that like tiger boxing too and make him a fighter get those animal bear baiting all that stuff yeah so you're telling me and my clothes gave

it all away huh yeah yeah i mean your sash as well that says prints on it yep your sceptor so what you think the guys that a pie they know too huh i think they probably do if this i mean quite honestly you've been here all summer this is what you've worn every single day yeah well what what else am i supposed to wear do you not change clothes in austria like any of the clothes that other people were in. I've also noticed you swimming in this outfit, which seems like it would immediately be so heavy. You're struggling against the weight of the wet velvet. I was at Venice Beach and I saw you come out of the water. It was like a cartoon. It was just like a, your big puffy Jod Spurs and water coming out and have like a fish. A bunch of fish, right. That's right.

You guys, I had a lot of fish in my pockets. So I'm a little confused now. So not everybody's getting dressed by royal helpers every day. Oh, is that who all those people are? you guys oh you have servants we don't like to call them servants anymore or the master bedroom or i didn't even say those words you've seen you have you have both brought those up and shamed us for using them that's right guys come on let's keep it classy on comedy bang bang we this is the wolf give a call if your wife has ever just said hey you're going to a friend's house and she's like that's what you're wearing you're like hey i thought it was just a barbecue she said yeah but you got to dress up and i'm like it's a polo shirt and she's i mean yeah thanks yeah you're just calling that

You need a little help with the dismount, Wolf. You know what, though? You know, he's brand new at this. And I want to say, like, he's doing great. I want to encourage Bob. You're doing great, Wolf, Bob, Wolf. Say it to Bob, he needs it. But Bob, you're doing great, Bob.

Thank you. All right. So you can't say master bedroom. And but you're always saying wife feeder, you're wearing a lot of them. Well, sure. I mean, but who can change 55 years of saying something one way, you know? Oh, I thought you meant culturally. Culturally, it's only existed.

Culturally, it's been probably less. And when I suggested you change it to the modern wife eater, you said no thanks. I've had wife pleaser. Oh, really? To describe the tank top? Why can't we just do tank top? How would that please a wife to pair? Okay, so you prefer wife eater then?

I say tank top. Okay. As far as I'm concerned, tank top. I'm learning so much, you guys. Well, your English is fantastic, or do you speak English in Austria? I'm not quite sure. We're all speaking English. I have a question now, Peter.

Now that the curtain has been pulled aside and you are revealed to be a prince, do you in fact need any medical treatments here or was that all a clever ruse? It was real. Wow. Oh, no. Even for a prince, they don't have specific medical services there in Austria that we have here? Well, they don't want to do it. but here you guys have amazing plastic surgeons oh wait are you getting a bBL that's right

oh peter well look at the pants i'm waiting oh they're going to be in that shape yeah you got to fill out those the dot purse good to fill them out you're getting a side BBL yes got it got it oh it's good to be seen and heard oh wow oh this is so exciting this is great for you It's so cool to watch you, like, blossom into the person that you want to be. Yeah. It's all thanks to Scott. I mean, look, I open up my home to you and to your 20 man servants. And, you know, I'm happy to do it.

It's wonderful to have you on the show. Oh, thank you for having me. Yeah, of course. I mean, we do need to take a break. Do you want to stick around? Is that possible? We have someone coming up from America's Heartland. I'd love to.

Have you ever been to America's Heartland? I'm going now. Oh, wow. This is going to be great. This is going to be great. Well, Wolf, do you want to take us into commercial? Sure. I just wanted to let people know.

When I got my car lease, I went to Del Monte, Del Monte Honda, and they got an incredible deal and are amazing. I got the tundra truck. It's got four alpha times. Okay, we're going to come right back. I kind of want to see where this is going. We're going to come right back with more Jason Manzukas, more Peter Strusal, more the Wolf.

And we have someone from America's Heartland. We'll be right back. more comedy bang bang bang after this comedy bang yeah comedy bang bang we're back

Jason Manzookas is here comedy bang uh comedy bang comedy bang comedy bang comedy bang are you Richard Nixon

oh wait was that Bain comedy bang bang Batman uh Jason Manzookas of course who played Bain in the Batman trilogy is here and we also have

Peter Strucell who is a prince from Austria here to get a side BBL. And also we have the Wolf here, our co-host, of course, for now and the foreseeable future. What's going on? A.k.a. Bob Duca. Yeah, what's happening, Wolf?

Oh, there's the wolf. This is my wife texting me. She's like, yeah, she's like, are you going to bring home the ribs? And I said, I thought, I said, I'm going to cook my burket tonight. I just got this big green egg. And I'm like, hey, I'm smoking tonight.

And she's like, but I thought the neighbors are coming over. You ever have this thing. Give a call. If you give a thing your wife, like, hey, the neighbors are coming over, and you're like, I just want to get out with my friend. So, wait, let me see what your exact problem is. So you got a big green egg.

She wanted ribs, but you want brisket. I want to smoke that brisket. Okay, you want your friends over and she wants the neighbors? Yeah. It doesn't seem like just everyone can come over and you could both. This guy's not married. Give a call if you just, yeah. If you think that, you know, it's hard.

When are, like, and I think, I think the audience is right now starting to understand like marriage and human relationships so much more than when you normally talk about it, Scott. Yeah. Because the wolf is really He's relatable Full of life advice You know

He's relatable in a way that I'm not Because he wants to be smoking Much like the mask You have a big green egg I have bad news That's not good you guys What's wrong with the big green egg That's a fairy egg

Oh wow Is it a dragon It could be Bob Your wife's gonna be really mad Bob I mean wolf wolf that chase me around in the frying pan again bob's not married by the way he did offer to marry you peter that's right but the wolf apparently is he does have a ton of marriage specifics though

which is he's marriage and they're right there they're right at the surface level that's the wolf yeah that's true yeah i guess the wolf how long has the wolf been married wolf been married 23 years to his high school sweetheart oh wow yeah it's a happy relationship i can't quite tell no no it doesn't seem to be no no no what's her name glare glare like what you do when you're upset with someone like claire with a g yeah she's irish she's irish okay that explains it oh wow and just out of pure curiosity bob did you ever know someone named glare yes maybe 23 years ago okay is this a sliding doors situation who's this person glare that you i think the wolf might be living bob's life oh my gosh in it you mean

in a separate dimension or something like that? Well, no, she was real, and I could have chosen her, but I didn't. But the wolf is from a... She was my elderly piano teacher. Okay. We were in love. She was teaching you elderly piano? Oh, no.

So what is it? What is that? Where you have arthritic fingers? All public domain. It's just green sleeves. Uh-huh. Campdown races. We're a campdown races.

Ragtime. boogie. Yeah, the entertainer. Yep. Oh, yes. Maple Leaf rag. Well, good luck. I mean, hopefully. Shoot a dog at the crossroads. Sure. All those old classics.

Yeah. Well, hopefully you and Glair will So, I mean, like if Bob and Glair had worked out, he thinks that his life would be the wolf. I don't regret a thing because that brought you into my life. I mean, you were married to my mother before, and divorced from my mother before Glair ever came

into the picture. No, no, this is. 23 years ago. You were during the 90s. That's right. Yeah. I know we're in a sliding time scale here on Comedy Bang Bang where I've had high school interns who have been in high school for the past 17 years. Right. But we've all turned 50, so we all have been exposed to Dred Zeppelin. Yes, of course. Everyone here has seen the Dred Zeppelin documentary. I have. I don't know if anybody else has.

Okay, I'm not sure Peter has. Peter certainly is too young to have seen the Dred Zeppelin documentary that's available for free on YouTube. Why don't we ask a Song of Hope? Why don't we ask our next guest about this? because I'm pretty sure he might be over 50. He is from America's heartland. And it's always an exceptional time here on Comedy Bang Bang when we speak to someone who is from the flyover states, as we call it. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Queasy Jean.

Hey, y'all! Hi, Quizzy. Hey, y'all. Hey, Cuisy. Thanks for having me. Oh, that's great. Wow. This is Jason.

Hey, I'm Jason. Nice to Cuisy. Peter. Hi, Peter. Welcome to America. I hope that you feel comfortable here. Thank you, Queasy. And this is the wolf over here. Sometimes I'm Bob, but right now I'm the wolf.

No, I'm Bob. No, no. Now I'm the wolf. You're leaking out of your side. Oh. That's a vanity colostomy bag. How does it fill up? How does it fill up?

They're stations. Okay. Well, Queasy, tell us about yourself. It's so wonderful to meet you. Is that a family name, Queasy? Quizzy. Well, yeah, it's short for Quazadella. Quizzella.

Yeah. Which is Casedia. Well, in America, we go on Quesedella. My dad was a big fan of the Cuezadella. Got it. And so name me Quesedella, and I go by Quizadee. Oh, that's cool. Quizzi, so wonderful to meet you.

Tell us about yourself. Where are you from? You say you're from America's Heartland? I'm from America's Heartland, right in the middle of it. Right in the middle. Right in the country. Right by America's aorta? Dead center.

You can't go north. South, East West without being right where I am. It's Bruce Springsteen, the president there. Well, I just love, I love him. He's so nice. Sometimes he talks a little too much about politics, but I like him. Otherwise, he looks good in jeans. A lot of people that age don't look good in jeans.

Yeah. Sometimes when I go see his concerts, I wish I had a fast forward button to just, like, get to the next song, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Or close captioning. Yeah, yeah. I would love to see close captioning and be present at concerts.

Also, I'd love pause so I could go take a leak, you know? I don't know how he does so much running. He always wears boots. I'm like, how are you running so much in boots? Yeah. He, I bet he has like, he's got a, he's a short king, is he not? Oh, yeah, I think he's a little guy. He's like four nine.

Yeah. Yep. He's no tall on a corn husk. Yep. Sometimes Clarence Clemens would pack him in the saxophone case. Oh, so that Bruce could make entrances and exits easier and, you know, privately. So like what Taylor Swift would do in that clothing closet. I heard he sleeps in little.

Stephen Van Zanzet's headband at night. It's like a little mouse in a nutshell. And I heard they called, he wanted to call Little Stephen, Little Stephen to draw attention away from how Little Bruce was. Little Stephen's huge. Little Stephen is a giant. I heard what you guys were saying. Oh, thanks, Peter.

Peter, what are four or five East Street band specific to you know? And none of them can be about Nils Loughgren. I love my friend. Make a Gary Talent reference, please. I'm hearing all of it. So queasy, queasy, queasy, queasy, tell us about yourself. Well, you know, I just, I think everyone right now has become like an expert and they're listening to experts so much. Oh, wow.

Why is everyone listening to experts so much? Like, what made experts, experts? And I just, I just want people to go back to folksy wisdom. Oh, okay. Are you sort of in, like, what kind of? I'm not an expert. I don't pretend. So why should we listen to you?

Well, I just have an opinion about folks. I think folksy wisdom, I guess I'm an opinionated person if you ask my family. If it's not an expert opinion? What? My opinion? I guess. But I don't like to say it because I'm modest under the eyes of God and I don't want to be like being, I'm more expert than Jesus. So I believe in like that there's so much to learn from every.

day thanks. Okay, so like what type of folksy wisdom? Give us an example. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I want to hear this. You don't? Wait, this is Bob or the wolf? This is Bob. Well, maybe you're afraid of... Get the wolf in here. Hey, let's hear what somebody you said. Dynamite. Yeah, I think it's good. I don't think I've ever heard Bob use the word dynamite. It's incredible. Different. No, it's a wolf. That's what I mean. Oh. Back to one. Let's hear some of these Well, there are some things that are just in natural life

That you see and you're like, oh, that's just real And I could learn from it No, we know what you're talking about Can you give us an example? Yeah. Or do we have to ask another fucking dime? Oh, wow. I didn't know we spoke French in here.

You don't have to be such a city slicker. Yeah. Sorry, sorry. Maybe you're the foreign exchange student speaking French like that. Sorry, it's C Block and I'm losing my fucking patience with you guys. Oh, geez. What's your thing? Get to this folks.

If I have, wow, wow. Well, I'll give you an example. Okay, please. Just because a corn cop can fit your butt. Okay. Doesn't mean it belongs there. Oh, interesting. So that is foxy wisdom.

That's folksy wisdom. Huh. So that just means like just because something. No, we know it. So that is the example. That's an example for you. The one that really synthesizes the idea is just, because a corn cop fits in your bottle.

Listen, it's a britt, no. I didn't say a hole. I'm not pornographic. I'm so sorry, Queasy. So, Queasy, are you trying to say, in a larger, more macro sense, are you trying to say, just because something is easy to do doesn't mean exactly it might not be the right choice? No. No.

What cornucon variety is not easy to do, but it does fit. It digs a little bit of work. Just because it fits, doesn't mean it belongs there. Are you talking really just specifically about a corn dog? No, there's also other things that go up someone's butt? Well, not necessarily, just because an ice cream scoop. Could fade up your butt. Wait a minute.

Doesn't mean it belongs in? What, an ice cream scoop? The scoop? Yeah. The scoop end of it? The handle, I would assume, but the scooper? Scooper. That fits.

You got to work it. Wait, is it one of these? Is it one of these? You could do both. Oh, this would be dang. I don't want the trigger up there. Maybe a mini scoop. Maybe a mini scoop.

You can do all 10. Or a sample spoon. Sample spoon. You can fit 10. But just because, just because you can fit 10 samples spoons in your butt. It doesn't mean that it belongs to it. Peter, is there corn in Austria? Because I always think of it as American and American vegetable that the Native Americans grew.

But do you have corn in Austria? What's corn? Uh-huh. Imagine a golf ball, but a miniature golf ball that's painted yellow. Okay. What? What? Okay.

And tiny, tiny. What that? Oh, Scott can only think in round shapes. What are you talking about now? A tiny golf ball? Okay, tell you. Imagine a diseased tooth. Okay, I think I know what corn is now.

A little diseased tooth, you said? Imagine a disease tooth, but instead of it being in your mouth to bite into things, you bite into it and you swallow it. How come you don't call Colonel's teeth? How come you don't call colonel's teeth? them the corn teeth yeah like teeth sanders yeah how come they don't call him teeth sanders how come it's not that's a good it's a good question it's it's private lieutenant lieutenant teeth this makes sense to you queasy jeans yeah i mean well we're just talking simply which is something i appreciate yeah so

just because you may know a word doesn't mean you have to say it Is that one of the sayings right there? No, I was just sort of saying that generally. So you prefer to use simple plain language. Simple plain language. What do you do for a living, queasy? Well, I sit on the porch. Got it.

And if anyone passes by my yard, I yell at them. Great. Someone pays you for this? Well, no, I live on, I have a fixed income. Okay. Fixed by whom? Fixed by my brother. My brother.

Your brother supports. Wait, when was it fixed? well he when he died he got run over by a tractor oh so that was so it was broken and then it got the income got at that point your income was spayed or neutered or well yeah it became fixed so i didn't have to do anything okay so you inherited your wealth well i what i did was i became a signatory on his life insurance so i got his money and i'm assuming because you got the money and the funds were released there was no foul place suspected in that How could there be?

Oh, I don't know. How could there be? I don't know. I'm asking. How could there be? I'm asking you. No one could figure it out. Nobody could figure it out.

That's just because a rocking chair is on the porch. Uh-huh. Doesn't mean that anyone's sitting on it. Queasy, I guess my question is, when you say a porch, you sit on your porch. What, I imagine just a simple shack or something like that. But you inherited your brother's wealth. Like, what kind of property are we talking about? We're talking about like a, you know, a,

172 acre farm and wrap around porch so I could say it all around the I could yell from every side of my house and nobody will hear like you're that private well yeah it's pretty far but is your house in the middle of a roundabout oh you can yell at people all the time oh I would love that just so I could yell more people but wait you so it's not you would love that but it's not because if you could put a roundabout there you could just yell the lyrics of the yes song round about. Oh. If you know, then. I don't know that. I don't even know those words, what that means. Well, I mean, uh, some of them are, uh, probably something to the effect of I'll be the roundabout. The words will make you out and out. I spend the day your way, call it morning, driving through

the sound and in and out the valley. The music, dance and sing. They make the children really ring. I spend your day your way. Call it morning, driving through the sound and in and out of the valley. I don't know. I think that's a little complicated. I think you think. You know what? I think you do. I know what I like is, I like it. Just because a light is red, doesn't mean you have to stop. It does, in fact. I mean, no.

If you go by the letter and the law, yes. Well, but it doesn't mean you have to. You do. Listen, just because the light is rare doesn't mean you have to stop. Queasy, what I am sensing from you is you're just like some rich guy who pays for tickets, who doesn't give a shade if you get a ticket going through a red light because. Who said I'm a guy? Oh, queasy. I'm sorry. I just wear my hair short. Oh, whoa. Okay.

That's really short, by the way. This is like a buzz cut. This is the rock. So you've got cuts on your head. You're queasy. I'm going to let it start. I mean, you may want to rewind your microphone and does. Okay. I make your pardon, queasy. You're a, uh, how should, how should I? How should we refer to you as a woman? Okay, cool. Queasy. I didn't know. This is us. This is information I need before I introduce someone. us trying to be better queasy. Cressadilla is a female name. Oh, boy. I don't know if that's the case.

A? I don't know. So, okay, so is, so are certain foods gendered? The words are, the food can be. I guess it is folded. And technically because it ends in an A, I think it's gendered as female in the Spanish language. Oh, I see. I see.

But you, you was saying about it being folded. Yeah, because it's folded. Yeah, I guess I missed that. Yeah, it's folded. so you can get into it. Okay, so it's not about the, it's not that it is like a pussy? Yeah. I don't use words like that, but it is like a vagina.

Which ends in A. It's Enzine, which means it's for women. Okay. This is the wolf. Have you guys heard about this quinoa stuff? My wife got me on this quinoa stuff, and it's some sort of grain. It's an ancient grain with a food. It's an ancient grain.

It's a terrible. I'm a steak guy. Oh, okay. Yeah. Is this set up for a joke? Uh-huh. was that Bob that was the Bob

I wasn't trying to puncture that Bob it just what do you call what do you call a rancher with a tractor on his head oh what dead oh oh that sounds familiar if you like that joke give his call in right now

the wolf do you have any personal appearances coming up I do I'm going to be at the sunglass kiosk at the Arcadia Mall coming up this Saturday. Just hanging out. Just hanging out? Just hanging out?

Did the sunglass kiosk actually invite you there? I'm just trying to get some free wraparound shades. Okay. You got to talk to Walton Goggins. Yeah. With his Goggins goggles. You got to talk to him. Wolf, you got to talk to him.

Wait, Wolf, I'm so sorry, but I need to talk to Bob Duka for a second. Bob Duka, are you aware of the fact that Walton Goggins has something called Goggins goggles? Goggens goggles. Galton Goggins goggles? Walton Goggins goggles? oh no that's that's incredible that seemed like information you might need to hear wow bob i don't he must be really sure he's going to keep working right if he's cashing in like this

where are you saying peter oh just bob i didn't want to alarm you you said a curse word in austrian right now oh no is this going to affect the egg when you said walter gouggoggoggle yes oh no that's a curse word that's how a deaf leopard's stong starts waltzing But for real, though, we're going to need you to apologize to the people of Austria for the word you just said. Okay. Just because it was really, it's apparently really bad one. This is what happens. You start apologizing in Austria.

Then you apologize the whole. Oh, Quizzy is against apologies. No, this is interesting. No, I just feel like we're apologizing a bit too much. So, Queasy, you're just, you're like a rich Karen who just likes to tell everybody what they should be doing. No, I don't. I just don't think that we should just be going to be. the world's apologist all the time

and be like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I said, you know. Have you ever apologized to anyone in your life? I've never done anything wrong. What wrong have I done? It sounds like you murdered your brother. Yes, it does sound like that. He died. To inherit his 150-acre ranch.

172 acres. Just because he died doesn't, and I don't have... Is this another one of the things? Just because a lot of them start with Just Because. Yeah. Well, just because he died and I don't have a... an alabah doesn't mean... And you fit a corn cob up your butt.

I have one... I had to do it just to make sure that that maximum was real. Well, my question, again, is what variety of corn are you using? There are many different corn sizes of ears. Yes. We use... Baby corn.

From baby corn all the way up to, you know, quite big... Yes, grandpa corn. And a new metal band. Yeah. Grandpa corn? With the backwards K? we use we use emperor of corn

okay emperor corn and it's because it's got a little purple in it and it's the largest well the thing is is like you know you eat corn with your mouth and it ends up coming out that way

why not you know do the reverse maybe you'll start spitting out corn well I think you're all missing the point about it's not about that corn cob going in your butt it's just saying the maxim the idea

the colloquialism is that just because you can pour a corn cub up your butt doesn't mean that it belongs there. It's easy. Sure. It doesn't belong there. But sometimes I feel like if it is up there,

it feels so good you might think it does belong there. But that is where you're mistaken. Yeah, tell that's your butt. Yeah. It feels good. Your butt's going to be like, this thing belongs here. Yeah.

Queasy, tell it to your butt right now. I don't talk to my, I don't talk to anything below the belly button because that's... So what do you talk to above the belly button? Yeah. I talk to my left breast a lot. What are the kind of conversations?

Not hot, just you know. What do you call those? If downstairs is a cassidia, what's this? We talk a lot about why is blue buds, blue bloods set in New York. Oh, of course. Where would you prefer blue bloods to be set? Where I live in the center of the country. Why do I need to hear about everything set in New York?

Well, it seems there's a lot more crime there. Yeah, the big cities have quite a bit more crime. Varieties of crime. Well, we have plenty of crime where I live. Yeah, it sounds like your brother was murdered. Well, he just died by a tractor rolling over him. Who was driving the tractor, if you don't might be asking? You know what?

I wasn't there, so I don't know. You weren't there. I was not. So how do you know that's how it happened? Because they found them underneath the tractor. Okay, and where were you? I don't, you know what, that's the funny thing. No one knows.

That is very funny. It's very weird. It's humorous. I don't have an alibi and I don't. It's funny because it's true. there's no yeah and i was on the porch as far as i know so you were on the porch as far as i know i was okay because you said nobody knows and then you said as far as you know you're on the porch well nobody knows who ran him over or if he was run over if he ran over himself or if the tractor

you think it was one of these situations where he jumped out of the tractor lied down in front of it and well he used to wear those uh what are they called it air pods sure sure and sometimes sometimes if you play music too loud on an air pod it shoots out of your head because the the air pod sounds like what a bat sonar does and the the sound bounces off the wall of the ear okay and he may have been like looking to his right and listening to the music and then then it shot out and they was like oh my air pot and ran out in front of the tractor before it ran over the tractor okay because he didn't want to start a Jeremy renter situation classic renter sure he got run over by an ice cream truck or something and nobody's talking about that I don't think

It was a ice cream truck that he himself was driving, so you are correct. Yeah, he ran over himself, so why isn't no one saying? What do you think your brother was listening to that was so important? Well, I just want to say this. Probably club random. This was what I was thinking. Well, he's a big. That's the podcast to listen to if you want to get run over by your own tractor.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Better night cave. Two great podcasts. They go great together. You got your night cave in my club random. He doesn't, you know, no one's ever said, why did you? you try to kill Jeremy Renner.

To Jeremy. Wait. I wasn't there either. Oh, oh, to you. Jason, now I'm thinking that he actually tried to kill. She tried to kill Jeremy Renner. Did you poison Jamie Fox? Because nobody, they keep hinting that something happened and they won't tell us. He won't tell us what it was.

I don't know who that is. Wait, you know very specific details about Jeremy Renner getting run over by snowplow? And you don't know who Jamie Fox is? Well, I, was Jamie Fox? run over by a heavy piece of mobile machinery? So you only know about celebrities that have been run over by... Well, that's what's interesting. I don't care about celebrities, these experts, these coastal elites who believe that they know

all of the words in the English language. So I like, if they got run over by a tractor or ice cream truck or whatever it was that ran over Jeremy Renner, then I know about that. Yeah. It seems to me, if I could speculate, you saw this in the news that Jeremy Renner got run over by his own snowplow and then a devious plan hatched in your mind to do this to your own brother which then you did it you got all the money you got his his 172 acre why we're talking about that was just his farm it wasn't well it was but why is everyone just assuming that i could have inherited

it from my parents but is it true that jeremy renner shot handsling greeter rich hunter in Austria. Yeah. We're all mourning it's still. Oh, you mean shot a movie. Oh, yeah. Right. But he also killed witch or there.

Oh. I can't believe you guys still have witch hunters. Yeah. Well, for as long as we have witches, we're going to need the hunters, you guys. Are there Van Helsings there, too? One. One. I think Eddie is there.

Yeah. And Alex, too. Maybe Alex Alex might be With Eddie and Alex Benhelson Yeah And maybe wolfy now

I guess Yeah probably Look Queasy jeans I It seems to me Like You're a murderer

And I'm not saying That disqualifies you From being on this show We've had People of all Stars and Stripes Yeah

Well just because There's an old saying Where I come from Oh Just because there's an old saying What You said Just because

There's an old saying Where I come from Oh the expert Just Just because your brother was fat. I think he's a pert. What's saying? He's a, he's still a pert.

Yeah. He's a per cut. I haven't stopped being it, so I'm not an expert. Oh. We don't mean to throw you off as, as. It seems like that's a funniest joke in the world. Give his call right now. You have like Will shorts or something with all your wordplay.

Oh, the puzzle. So you have subscribed to the New York time? You know about the puzzle master Will Shorts? Never would I. Never would I subscribe to that rand. How do you play the puzzles You just hear him as the puzzle master On weekend all things considered

He was run over by a Zamboni At a New York Islanders game I didn't get this Oh this is late breaking news Well I didn't happen It happened like in 87 or something Oh wow okay Yeah

So you know about it because of your fascination With people being run over by large machinery It's not my fascination It's just the news I get Sure Is there a magazine that you subscribe to That only gives you this news Mortal Heavy Machinery

Mortal heavy machinery Mortal heavy machinery Is that a monthly period? MHM, it comes up It's monthly You know, sometimes it's a little thinner And it's like sometimes a lot of ads Because there's not a lot goes on

Not a lot goes on This is mortal heavy machinery Is it's wearing a games at David Busters Oh yeah It's also a fantastic Lou Reed album Wow Well, queasy jeans We are running out of time on the show

there's really only time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Plugs are plugging in the dead of plugs. Take these broken plugs and learn to plug. All your plugs. Just another douchebag who learned how to play Blackbird. Scott, is that you singing? I don't believe so. That was Plugberg by Balls McCart.

Thank you so much. Balls with a Z. Balls McCartney. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs, and you can find everything you need there to upload your own song or remix one of ours. And what do we plug in? Jay. Hey, what do we got? You said this comes out next week? Yeah. So I will plug.

Listen, it's old news now, but Taskmaster Season 19 is all available on YouTube. Season 20 has already started, and it's also terrific. You know what? I was not looking forward to. to seeing a different cast because I loved your cast so much and I you know I've watched several seasons

but yours was so special I was like well let's check this out and it was the first episode was so funny though I'm back in great it's great and I will also shout out how did this get made

and dinosaur improv two groups that I'm a part of are going on tour tickets are available at hdtgm.com probably when you say you're going on tour how many shows three?

Four or five tour this is you're doing a few shows We're doing a handful of dates. I mean, you can quibble with the wordage, but you know what I'm saying. I do know. We're coming to Boston, New York, Philly, D.C. Please come to Boston. Please, of course.

So check that out. Oh, and of course Gabby's Dollhouse. Yes, that's right. I got a shout out Gabby's Dollhouse. There is nothing more importance on my daughter's mind than going to see the Gabby's Dollhouse movie. This comes out this Friday, is that right? Yes, sir. Okay, Kristen Wigg is in this and yourself.

What character do you? you play i play chumsley chumsley don't worry he's uh does chumsley no quiesley quezley quezzy oh queasy sorry geez you know but experts all these experts don't know so much queasy do you have any plugs to make it up to you we'll give you some plugs here yeah uh there's a magnum rerun tonight on me tv and so you have all the streaming services you're just like a rich person who is it the two parter where they're having the auction at Robin's estate and one of the items goes missing?

No spoilers. Okay. Sassafras. And then, uh, what else is happening? Oh, uh, the police are coming by again on Friday to ask me some more questions. Did this happen recently? It happened about six months ago. Oh, so very recently.

Yeah, relatively. How soon did you move into the farmhouse? Well, I mean, six months ago, like, It was pretty much the day it happened. Well, I didn't want the pipes to freeze. Who found your brother's body? Oh, it was terrible. Yeah, but who?

Oh, I think like the crows. You think the crows. No, but what human found him first? I think eventually the police found him. Eventually. Eventually. Did you notice that the crows were very active in that part of the farm? Well, I didn't, that farm is so bad.

I was on the porch. And when I was, because then I was, I was like, where is he? and then I didn't know and then I don't like to go it was getting sun down and I don't like to go out because you can turn an ankle so I didn't go

and so then the police were like hey where's your brother why did they care well because someone found they were like someone found what they found your dead brother

and then they said where's your brother yeah so at all this story is just not you know what this is what I'm saying about experts Oh, ask so many questions to get so many answers When the answer's right there Actually, the answer was not there We did not really get to unanswer

Your lack of specificity is damning Seems like you're making all this up as you go along Which just because It also seems like you're making up these maxims As you know along Just because the window is open Doesn't mean you have to jump through it Okay

That's not a bad one actually kind of works Yeah There you go Well, all right, Quesey. Let's turn to Peter Struzel. Peter, what do you want to plug? I'm seeing plugs. Yes, yes.

Electrical plugs, yes. But I guess what, do you have any projects coming up or any things you're listening to that you want to talk about? Oh, well, you know what? There's a final season of solar opposites coming to Hulu on premiering October 13. Wow. Very cool.

great animated comedy on Hulu and I believe if I'm not mistaken it's going to be coming to Netflix at some point soon. I'm hearing that too as well. Wow. So if you are, yeah, you guys. Okay, that's fantastic. And then the wolf and or Bob Duca, what would you like to look?

This is the wolf. I'm going to be thrown out the first pitch at the Havana Bananas game coming up. This is a guy that's really funny. We're going to take a lot of fun with baseball. I'm also going to be a guest on a comedy bang bang podcast called College Town. It's really terrific.

Oh, you're going to be a guest on it? Uh-huh. Okay, that would be an incredible episode. That's awesome. It's going to be a great episode. I can't wait to tune into that episode. Yeah, and this is Bob. I'm going to, I'm going to Dave and Busters.

Oh, again? I'm going to try to eat the right side of the menu. Oh, that was just the left side? You shouldn't do that. I have to. Okay, well, check back in with us. Just remember, you came out with quite a few maladies after the last visit. I did.

So many. And I'll also be marrying Peter. Oh, that's amazing, you guys. And we'll become a prince, I believe. That's right. Wow. Royalty. That's right.

Congratulations. Well, I want to plug. Are you jealous? Scott? I'm not really jealous. What, of Bob or of Peter over here? Well, that Bob's attention will now be elsewhere. Oh, no, no, no.

I do have a quick favor, though, Scott. Okay, sure. This is actually for Peter and I. Would you sit on our fairy egg for a while? I'm glad you said airy egg. Fairy egg. When you said, can you sit on my, I was, I was worried. But, um,

Sure, yeah. You can't afford these mustache rights. I'm a prince now. That's the t-shirt. Sure, I'll do whatever you need. Look, I want to plug, head over to CBBWorld.com. We have some great stuff coming up in October. A couple of really cool things happening.

And other good shows like Scott hasn't seen where I watch movies with Sprague the Whisperer and ad-free episodes of this show. Every single live episode we've ever done, the entire back catalog is here, plus shows like College Town. Neighborhood Listen is coming back this month. I'll shout out, hey, Randy. And I believe, Peter, is it possible you were in an intern who took an improv class from Will Hines at some point on the Heinz I'm Prov to Meet You podcast? That's right, you guys. Oh, wow.

I heard that episode. That was you. Very funny episode of that podcast, which is very easy to find by its name. Yes, Heinz, I'm Prov to Meet You, of course. It just rolls off the tongue. All of that more is over there at CBBWorld.com. All right. Let's close up the old plug bag.

it up just yet I said it's not time to close it up just yet All right That was... Oh, could it go on longer? Do you think it could slowly go on longer?

That one was only 38 seconds, Jason. That's actually shorter than ones. But it's such a plodding tempo. Okay. Well, it was Plug the Magic Bag on by Lot Ha Ha. So thank you so much to Lot Ha Ha. And I want to thank all of you, Jason. Always a pleasure to have you back.

Thank you, Scott. What an absolute delight. Wonderful to have you here. and look Peter Strucel congratulations and I hope the 21 of you can stay in the country

for as long as you like Thank you Scott And queasy jeans Hi Queasy Jeans I don't know how I feel about you I feel like everything you've said has been a lie

That's just because someone says a lie doesn't mean it's not true Oh wow To them Okay All right sure That's interesting

And then of course I never thought of it that way Bob or the wolf, who am I talking to right now? Let's go get a beer after this. What do you think, pal? Oh, wow. This is Bob. I mean, honestly, oh, this is Bob.

No. I was going to say the wolf. I kind of like the wolf. You can get a drink with the wolf. Hang out with Bob. Oh, gosh. I don't know. I'd rather do the opposite.

Like travel there with Bob, get, you know, order the drink and then suddenly the wolf appears. Well, this is a wolf. Anytime, if you just, Bob, I was going to speak for Bob. Okay. He just wants to hang out. Okay, well, I like you better. Maybe give a piggyback to Bob. Give a piggy front to Bob.

What's a piggy front where I care? I embrace him from the front. This is Bob. I'll show you. Okay. Well, I don't have time for this. We're going to be back next week. We'll see you then.

Thanks. Bye. Thank you.