Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: 2022 Tour, Charlotte (Conan O'Brien, Paul F. Tompkins, Tim Baltz, Lily Sullivan, Drew Tarver)

Episode Date: April 23, 2026

This Bonus Bang is Live from Charlotte and Scott gets a surprise visit from none other than Conan O’Brien! Later he brings on special guests Big Chunky Bubbles, Skip Dribbles, Kayla Dickie, and Sawyer Junior! Special thanks to Knight Theater! Originally released August 18, 2022. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everyone, this is Scott Ackerman, and welcome to another bonus bang where we are re-releasing great episodes of comedy bang bang out from behind the paywall. Now, this week's bonus bang is the latest episode in a series we have started a couple of weeks ago that we are calling a Quicky with Kayla Dickie, where we are showcasing episodes featuring Kayla Dickie. You know Kayla. She's the woman who has big eyes for men with big trucks. She's played by frequent CBB guest Lily Sullivan. Now, this episode is called Tour 2022 Charlotte. What a title. And this was a live CBB episode that was recorded at the night theater in Charlotte back in, of course, 2022.

It was originally released in the CBB live show feed over at CBB World on August 18th, 2022. And who do we have? Okay, first of all, big surprise to us and to the audience. Conan O'Brien stops by for a quick visit at the top of the show. And then the other stars appearing are Paul Liff Tompkins. We have him playing Big Chunky Bubbles and Tim Baltz, Lily's husband. We have him playing Skip Dribbles. Then we have Kayla Dickey played by Lily Sullivan and Sawyer Jr.

played by Drew Tarver. Now, if you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as other shows like CBB Presents, Scott hasn't seen, The Neighborhood Listen, Collegetown. Become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the CBB archives. Every live episode we've ever done, ad-free new episodes, even more original shows. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang.

Charlotte, North Carolina, what's up? Hold on, one second. Gotta do this, hold on. Here I sit, broken-hearted, tried to shit, and my wife burst in and said she wanted to divorce. I'm devastated. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Thank you to Pat Chathoms for that wonderful catchphrase admission. And Charlotte, thank you so much for coming out. Welcome to Comedy Bang, bang, indeed. Incredible crowd. Beautiful theater, nice people, the trifecta, as we say in show business. How are you, sir? You're great.

I love it. You have a little photographic device. Is that true? It's for me. You're going to take nasty pictures of me? Please don't point that in me, sir. I'm going to get very nasty, sir. You wanted to know how nasty I'm going to get tonight.

Very, very nasty. This is a nasty show. How many of you have no idea what Comedy Bang Bang is or why you're here? Hey! I love it. Dragged here by your significant other, I take it. Wonderful. Well, we're going to have a good time tonight.

It's essentially a talk show where I have many guests. We have some great guests tonight, and we have unscripted and improvisational conversations with them, conversations that have never happened before, and will never happen again, as far as I'm concerned. Coming up a little later, we have a... motor enthusiast. We have a comedian.

We have a TV host, and we have an entertainer. Is that non-specific enough for you? But before we get to all of this, we have one piece of business we have to get to, and I'm rushing through this, I know, but we have a big show. And the people in the balcony are already saying,

woo, because they know what's about to happen. Even though I am not talking to you, it's time for the balcony. The balcony report, everyone. If you don't know what's about to happen, hold on to your assholes because it's the most exciting two minutes in live podcasting.

And this is, by the way, just to set some parameters, this is not me talking to the people in the balcony. This is merely me instructing the crowd how many balconies are in each theater. And I am pleased as punch to announce that Charlotte has one balcony. Not talking to you.

All right, well, are you guys ready to start the show? No, you're not ready? Did you scream no? Sort of? All right, well, we have a big show, and we have, I wanted to get to our first guest relatively right away, because he does have somewhere he has to get to at a few minutes, but he's in town.

He wanted to come out and say hi to the crowd and talk to us for a little bit. Please welcome Conan O'Brien. Wow, that was very nice. Thank you for the introduction. Of course, thank you so much for dropping by. What brings you here? How dare you intrude? Let me explain.

I'm sorry, there's a big poster coming up suddenly from... You're pulling focus! The perfect time to do this. We need more QR codes on this stage. I felt panic that I didn't get enough of a hand when I came out. So I signaled more... I'd bring out a QR code. That will help.

When people click on this, it says applaud more. Thank you. For Conan. Yes. Fill that hole for Conan. Don't do that. Don't go there. Yeah. That sounds weird. Emotional hole. Okay. Here's the deal.

True story. I'm in town for a special project shooting a porno. And wait till you see it. It's really nothing to woo about. And anyway, I flew in last night and I'm walking down the street about. I want to say half an hour ago. I want to say that too. Hey, there you go.

And people start coming up and saying, you're going to the big show, aren't you? And I said, no, I'm not. And they said, I asked, you know, what is this big show? And they said, you're here. And they told me some of the other people who were here.

And I said, those are friends of mine. I want to go say hi to them because I'm in Charlotte and I have no friends here. So I walked to the front of this theater and said, hey, is it okay? if I come into the show. True story, guy says,

I'm not sure. It's always nice to realize what level of fame you've reached. Oh, quite certain I know now. He said, I'm not sure. And then fortunately, a guy like nine people behind him said, I think he should get to come in. So you're ninth guy in Charlotte famous.

I'm ninth guy in Charlotte famous. And then I got to come in, but it was this close. To me, not being able to come in. Thank God for that ninth guy. If you're back there. Now, Conan, you were telling me something really interesting backstage. That was private.

Oh, right. No, but I think this was the other thing. Oh, yeah, the other thing. You said to me that Charlotte audiences are the best audiences in the world? No! Don't get me started on Charlotte! Now, I've been to Asheville. That's the one place I've been to in North Carolina.

And I was in Asheville, this is a while ago, a couple years ago, and I was in Asheville for about eight minutes when someone said, you want to go to a really cool speakeasy? No one has said that in America since 1929. The next thing I know, I'm knocking on a door, a little window,

a guy with a little mustache, you can have the gin that we just made. It was very cool. I loved Asheville, but I do love it here. This is very nice. Are there speakeasies here that anyone can invite Conan to?

Well, if you consider Fridays a speakeasy, then yes. A really cool hipster Fridays. Got to wait another 24 hours to go there. It's unfortunate. Only open one day a week from what I hear. Now, is there anything you want to tell the audience here?

I know you have words of wisdom for, you know, you come... Thank you. Yes. I've been on this earth a while, kids, and I can tell your kids. I'm leaving here, and I have to leave. I have a hard out, because at exactly 7.30, which is six minutes from now, I have to be in my hotel room to get a physical

for the project that I'm shooting tomorrow. Hold on. I have to get a physical because I'm at that age where they're pretty sure I'm going to die before tomorrow. And I was shocked to find that out, and I said, no problem, I'll be there at 7.30 for the physical. and then I found you guys, and I would much rather be here.

I'd been trying to contact the doctor on my phone to see if he would come give me the physical here. So far, I'm not getting a response. But if it doesn't work out, you just missed me getting a rectal probe in North Carolina, which is, I think, a first. I believe so. Well, if...

For me, it's a third, but for you guys, it's a first. If the doctor, you do meet up with the doctor and you decide to come out, please interrupt the show. No, this meeting is happening a couple of blocks from here. I'll already be late, and then it'll be some doctor from Charlotte who's got major attitude, because I'm late. And I'll say, I was in front of an incredible crowd.

That comes first. You and my imminent death comes second. but I did want to say quickly that it is incredibly gracious I just came by to say hello you're a very nice and hilarious man and Mr. Ackerman is I have so many

people that have worked with him and that he has taken care of over the years he's a lovely guy and a trailblazer and for him to invite me on his stage is a big deal so thank you very much Thank you. Conan O'Brien, everyone. Take a bow, Conan. Was I supposed to say something back? Don't worry about it.

Wow, that was a treat. Conan O'Brien, amazing. Thank you. Wow. Well, Charlotte, you're getting quite a show tonight because who else could follow Conan O'Brien? But our next guest, he is a children's party entertainer. Please welcome big chunky bubbles. I always forget. Oh, you do, do you?

I sound like, it's the voice I was given at birth. It was given to you. Yep. You got to choose. No. Oh. You don't get to choose everything that's given to you, do you? I guess not.

You're right. If you could choose your Christmas gifts, would you? Yeah. Why wouldn't I? What did you get for Christmas last year, if you don't mind me asking? Well, you know my kids? Oh, yeah. Who are they?

Robbie, Bobby, and Tag. They all chipped in and got me one golf club. How much are golf clubs these days? I don't know, and I don't care. I don't play golf. They know I don't play golf. Maybe they want to get you out of the house on Saturdays and Sundays. Oh, I bet they do.

I would imagine that golf days are prime children's entertaining day. Days in... Am I making sense? I guess. I've never heard it referred to that way. What's today for you? A golf day or a children's entertainment day? Oh, I'll probably do both. I'll double dip. Get nine holes in?

Get nine holes in, then go watch a magician. Maybe Elmo will stop by either place. Oh, Elmo golfing. I would love to see that. Why? answer, huh? What are you doing? There was a little hair flying in the air. Leave it alone.

I wanted to get it out of your way. I want an unobstructed view of BCB. Thanks. So, so big chunky bubbles, for those of you, like our friend over here, who was dragged here, who...

Hi. You got dragged here, huh? What? Kickin and screaming, she said. Kicking and screaming. Freeman, sure. How much fun you have in so far?

She said Conan was great. And not to criticize you, BCB, or big chunky bubbles. But here it comes. But your energy is just, it's like siphoning all of the energy from the crowd. What?

I thought this show was escalating nicely. First you, yawn, then a celebrity, and then an artist. If you don't know who I am, my stage name is big chunky bubbles, and I make bubbles out of soups, stews, and chowders.

Finally, people applauding. And you do this primarily for children. Primarily, yes. Parents in tow, usually, though. Sometimes they drop the kids off at a party, and then they... There's at least one parent there. It's not like...

Lord of the Flies. I go to some island entertain a bunch of children who rule themselves. I don't think I was suggesting that it was. Big Chunky Bubbles. Well, just making sure. I think my point is that there are usually more children than

parents. Even though a child if they're lucky has two parents, and they would normally outnumber the children, they get dropped off as I think my thought process going into this. Well, your thought process is faulty. Because let me tell you, it's not always fortunate to have two parents.

You can get two duds. Is that what happened to you? Yeah. Oh, big chunky bubbles. I don't think we've ever talked about your parents. No, we haven't. Let's talk about your, your, your Christian name is Pidi. Pedy what?

Pedy amine. So your parents were the amines? Yeah. Darren and Darren and Beatrice Amin. Sound like a lovely couple. What was wrong?

You, they hated each other and everyone else. They stayed together for the kids, i.e. me. Don't do me any favors, is what I say to Darren and Beatrice Amin. Are they still with us? Sorry.

No. Thankfully, they're dead. I have to ask, because you're your wife. Yeah. Didn't she perish in a soup-related accident? Yes. She'd perish in a soup-related accident.

We've talked about this in previous shows. Yeah. And the soup was concocted and distributed by you. Distributed? I don't sell soup. I guess distributed it all over her. I was... Come on.

That's my dead wife you're talking about. I was showing... her my latest bubble trick. And she got too close to the Toreens. And the trick was so good, but she was too close. She never even got to see the trick? She got to see it a little too close. It's the last thing she saw

before she died. Well, maybe it was such a good trick that it's a happy memory for her up in... I don't know. She was scalded to death by soup. I guess my question is, how did your parents... How did they died? Yeah. First of all, a little too late for my liking. Dad went first.

He was shot in the face. What? I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh. And yet you are. But it's okay. It's pretty funny. He was a bad guy. Was this outside a movie theater, or? I feel like you're conflating me with Batman.

I get it. It happens. More with... that other guy, Bruce Wayne. Sure. I got a secret for you later on. Every Batman movie I've seen, it always starts with this terrible little story about a little boy

whose parents get shot. I walk out immediately. But you like Batman. I wish they would get to him earlier. Right. Right. It reminds me of when my mom saw the movie Flight, Denzel Washington, about the alcoholic pilot. And I said, how'd you like the movie? And she said,

oh, I hated it. I said, well, why? She's like, all the drinking, all the, you know, terrible life choices he made. And I said, well, at the very end of it, he finds God and turns his life around. She says, he couldn't have done that in the first five minutes? Like, that's a good movie to her. A guy who does that in the first five minutes and then just has an uneventful life. Now I see where you get it. Get what?

These weird things you say, strange concepts, bizarre premises. So he was shot in the face. Did you... Yeah, right in the nose. Was this provoked by him, or...? Of course it was. He provoked people all the time. He was the kind of guy

that would walk down the street whistling at women. He would kick a cat. He would take an apple off a fruit cart and just throw it down the sewer grate. Without paying for it? Or would he go back and say? Oh, hey, sorry.

No, he never paid for anything in his life. He never paid for anything. No. Did your mom work? Is that? Yeah. What did she do for a living? This is embarrassing to say.

I guess you're going to make me say it. Yeah, please, I mean, total honesty here on comedy banking. You can imagine growing up as a child, this was an embarrassing job for your mom to have. She was hired to sweep up all the stuff left over after hot dogs. are made. She was the second sweeper. The first sweeper goes through, collects all the stuff that goes into the hot dog. Then the second sweeper collects anything that's not good enough to go into a hot dog. So it seems like the first sweeper has the hard job because they're picking and choosing what and sweeping around the...

No, they just sweep everything up. Okay. Then somebody else. Someone else has to go through it. Yeah, the picker. The picker goes through and says, hot dog. not hot dog, hot dog, not hot dog. And then the bigger throws it on the ground. It goes back on the ground. That's why. And then they hire someone else to sweep it off. Yes, the second sweeper.

You don't know anything about hot dogs. And what's so bad it can't go in a hot dog? You sure you want to know? I think so. Human fingernails. So other types of fingernails do go in the hot dogs? Yeah. Like a pig hoof that can go in there.

A snail. A whole pig hoof? Yeah, but they grind it up. Oh, okay. You think you bite it into a hot dog and then, uh-oh. There's a pig hoof in here. So you can imagine being the son of a second sweeper at the hot dog factory was humiliating. I'm so sorry.

Can you eat hot dogs now or do they bring back terrible memories? They bring back all kinds of terrible things. Hot dogs are bad. But we love them. Don't we as Americans? Not me. Forget it. I'd rather eat a nice dry turkey sandwich.

That's your favorite meal? A dry turkey sandwich? A dry turkey sandwich on wheat bread. Oh, God. Big chunky bubbles. I don't care. I bet I'd gonna pop by the best of them. I just...

Everything you like is so just horrible and nasty. I guess you should be glad. I don't like you. You know you're my least favorite guest Oh, I know. You know, you're my least favorite host in all of history. I bet you wish Conan stayed out here instead of me. No.

He's number two with a bullet. Because his hair is hot dog colored. Oh, yeah. If you're lucky. What? Is that from a song? So, I'm so sorry about your parents. How did your mother die?

He was electrocuted in prison. Was she visiting? Was she an inmate? I'd love to say she was just visiting and then somehow got electrocuted. Maybe it got too close to the person who was dying on the electric chair? How do you think?

How would that happen? How are they letting people in, getting that close to a person strapped into the electric chair? In this hypothetical? Yeah. How did she? She was an inmate, really? Yeah, she was sentenced to death,

and boy, they carried out on that sentence. She was sentenced to death. Yeah. For what crime? She shot my dad. Believe you didn't put that together. I can't believe you did. I knew the whole time.

Well, that's fantastic. What? I mean, you were glad. What a root. I mean, I am. still. That's for me to say. I'm sorry. There's one thing when I say it.

Don't get testy with me. Stop pointing your head at me. I'm just looking at you. What do you see? Do you really want to know? I don't. A vain popping, Jay. Big chunky bubbles. God damn it.

So what brings you to Charlotte, North Carolina? What is going on in big chunky bubbles? Wait, who told you about that? What? That's why I'm here. What? I'm scouting locations for my theme park.

You're starting a theme park, I mean... Yeah. You're not even popular. How... Come on. This is how I'll get popular. You think anybody gave a goddamn about Mickey Mouse? That's a good point.

Oh, who's your favorite cartoon character? The guy that drives the boat, I guess? Whistles occasionally? I like that mouse that has a Caucasian face. So what is... That's weird, isn't it? Yeah. We don't talk about it enough.

Why does he have Caucasian skin color? He's a mouse. Are there different colored mice out there like that? Yeah, they're fur, sure. But he's got furry ears and then just a skin... A white man's face. Same for goofy, kind of. He just got a snout.

I'm trying to remember what he looks like. I always saw it from the inside. I don't know what that means, and I don't care to. So big, chunky bubbles land? Big chunky bubbles land. What are some of the attractions that are going to be there? What do you envision? What is your vision for this?

What isn't going to be there? You get to ride in a soup can. Like a merry-go-round kind. Like an oversized. Yeah. No, no. No. Regular size.

You don't have shrinking down technology. You get to stick three toes in there. Of course, oversized. And it's like the cups, you know? Tea cups. The teacups. But it's a soup can. Okay.

Then you get to ride a soup can that goes up and down steep peaks. So you've said two attractions at this point and both involve soup cans. So, wait to hear this. You also can purchase your own ladle at the end. entrance, and you can go around and have any soup from any of the soup barrels. Soup barrels. Yeah, you're just dip it in there on your way to the next ride. Blow on it, those soups are piping hot.

To have a ladle full of, you know, chicken and stars or whatever, then get on a roller coaster. Yeah, it's in shape like a soup can. The track or the, the car? What do you think? It'd be cool if the track were shaped like a soup can. And how would that go? Well, it's a cylinder, is it not?

The soup can? Yeah. So just like going, we, we, we, we all the way down. So what? You climb up to the top. Climb up? I can't picture this roller coaster you're talking about with a soup can shaped track. How about take an elevator up? Well, you got me. So you take an elevator up.

You get in a, what, a regular roller coaster car? Sure. And it's one long soup can, the track? Yeah, it's a circular, it's like a coil. But there's a... How can you tell it's a soup can? Well, you... Because the outside is covered with a soup.

One long label? Yeah. The proportions are all off. You'd never be able to tell what it's supposed to be. You're making me angry. There are no bad ideas, This is one of them. Are there flume rides

where you're traveling throughout soup? Yes. There's two soup rides where you're involved directly with soup. One is a classic flume. You get in the log in shape like a wooden soup can.

Are there wooden soup cans? At this park there are. You ride down a little shoot of gazpacho. Yeah, I thought ahead. Nobody's going to get burned. Your clothes will be ruined, though. Then the other one is you take a

submarine ride. Okay. So this is like a submarine ride. Yes. But instead of there being fish and stuff like that... Right. You see the ingredients of the soup. You're kidding.

So the alphabets and the meatballs. Yeah. Chopped vegetables Some noodles Every ride features some noodles So I mean this sounds Great Sounds like a big undertaking is what I was going to say

Do you have backing? Do you have financial backing? Do you have That's what I hope to find here in North Carolina Really? Yeah, what? Some people are interested in investing and big donkey bubbles land? That's about 30 people. And all I need is for each of those 30 people to just

give me one million dollars. Or you can find one guy who gives you 30 million. Conan? Someone says. Is he still here? I don't think so. I think he's getting that physical. I can make him the mascot. Like in the costumes?

Yeah. It would be a costume of him. With a tinier person inside? No, it'd be him. It'd be a massive costume. And then, like, an exoskeleton, kind of, and he'd walk around inside and nobody would know it was him. I don't think he's interested then. It's like Comic-Con when those big celebrities go and they wear a mask and you don't know it's them. Yeah, that would be thrilling for him. Thrilling. So you, you, I mean, look, we've talked about this before. You're, I didn't want to introduce you as a failed children's entertainer.

Uh, thanks. but... What a gracious host. Do not do that, but then tell me you thought about it. But you are... You're not... I mean, you're out there

and things are not going well for you. Can I ask you a question? Sure. What do you know about the entertainment business? I mean, we have roughly 300 people in this theater. Yeah, I'm one of them. You didn't pay to get in.

That's right. Now who's a failed entertainer? I guess you're right. But what I mean to connect to that to is, I don't know that there is demand that can meet your supply. I'll explain this to you as simply as I can. The theme park will make the demand. Right. So you're hoping. Right.

You agree. I don't agree. It sounded like you said right to me. I said right as in I understand what you're trying to say. Well, then you should have said that. I just A lot of what you've described sounds like

oh that would be charming if I knew the individual that it was based upon but Are you serious? You're saying if you didn't know who I was and you heard about

a soup themed amusement park you wouldn't be a little bit curious I mean I guess I'd be a little bit curious and somebody says you get your own ladle you can walk through and scoop up as much soup as you want anytime you want The community soup

And you get to feel like you're in a bowl of soup All the wonders that can be seen If only we could sink below The surface of the soup This is the song that plays How wonderful to see A potato, a carrot A leak or two

You'll see The world that lies beneath the bubble The soup bubbles that is Because we're going into some soup I would suggest maybe chopping off the last 15 seconds or so The ride is longer than 15 seconds That would be a real rip-off 15-second ride

When you're just getting used to the soup marine How long is it? It's 90 minutes Well You only have four rides The first 20 minutes, four that I told you about. How many do you actually have? Five.

Which one are you keeping in reserve? There's one where you get to see all the countries of the world, and what kind of soup they eat. Is that interesting? If you have to ask. I mean, it's what? Like, United States, all of them. It's what soups people are known for.

Oh, okay. One ones they've invented. Yeah. Okay. Like, what? Italy, wedding soup, Spain, gazpacho, Mexico, tortilla soup, France, French onion soup. Is that from there?

Brazil, Brazilian onion soup. Okay, now you're just cheating. I have to say, Big Chunky Bubbles, you have a really good singing voice. Really? Thank you. Why don't you talk like that? Talk like... What do you mean?

I mean, it was so less annoying than your normal voice that we have to sit and endure every time we talk to you. I don't recall you saying that to Conan. Have you taken singing lessons? No, it's just a natural gift I have. Everybody loves to hear a song.

What song is that? That's called Everybody Loves to Hear a Song. My dad wrote it. He was an amateur songwriter. Never win pro? Never. Nobody liked his songs because at the end, every song ended with,

Fuck you, Jack. And it said in parentheses, this is to the reader. So when you'd see it on the sheet music, you'd be insulted. So never went past the stage where he gave it to the publishers. Why would he do that?

He was a bad guy. So did he sing it? Oh, no, he just would write the songs. He would write the song. No demonstration tapes. No, he would take it to the music publisher, and he'd say, I got a great song for you. Maybe Billy Squire can sing this.

Or maybe Bachman Turner Overdrive. Yeah. Oh, you gotta update your references. So, then the publisher, he would say, and I'm gonna watch you read it. Just let me watch you read it, I'll be out of your hair. And they go, okay, kid, and then they read it. and then at the end, it would say,

to the reader, fuck you, Jack. And then the publisher would look up with my dad, and my dad would already be doing this. Just nodding and smiling. No wonder he got shot in the news. Do you mind saying what the offense was that finally pushed your mother over the edge? He embarrassed her at the hot dog factory.

Oh, no, what's he doing there? He had a girl on the side. Really? The first sweeper. This is scandalous. It's as big as scandal in the hot dog world as there is. So how did he embarrass her then? He walked in to the hot dog factory floor

where the first sweeper had just dropped off the sweepings. And the picker was in the process of eliminating the non-hot dog eligible items and throwing them on the floor. Then the first sweeper turned around and saw him and said, Oh, hello, mister. It's nice to meet you. And he said, what do you mean? We've been fucking for months.

Then he looks at my mom and says, I've been fucking her for months. And she was furious. And he said, what are you going to do? Shoot me in the nose. I don't know if you would have done that otherwise. I think you're right. He's better off dead.

Yeah. It just sounds like a coarse individual. He was. Not as polished gentleman as I try to be. Well, we love having you hear Big Chunky Bubbles. Do you? No. You're such a pill. You're just so, like... Really? But I wrote a song for you.

You wrote a song for me? Yeah. I'd love to hear it. That's so touching. I don't think a guest has ever written a song for me. It's a thank you for all the times who had me on the show. Oh my God, that's... I can't believe it. I'm so touched. It goes like this. There's a man in my life, a very special man. He's been generous and kind.

He's done it all the time. I get to do his show. He always has me back. His name is Scott Huckerman. And fuck you, Jack. You got me. Bubbles, everyone. I'm disappointed in you. I did not expect that at all. Good. Well, Big Chunky Bubbles, you have a lot in common with our next guest. What, really? You're an entertainer.

They are an entertainer. They perform primarily, I believe, for adults, and are perhaps more successful than you. Perhaps. We'll see. But he's been on the show once. Before. Before. See, this is what I mean, Big Chucky Bubbles. He was on the show once before. I said, to fucking see it again. Now it's in my, I don't think I can't say it. Before.

Before. Oh, no. This is your life now. He is the basketball comedian. Please welcome Skip Dribbles. House, what a balcony. My goodness gracious. Scott, I haven't seen you since the before times.

Pre-pandemic, that's a COVID-19 joke. Boy, if I scored 19 points in a basketball game, I'd be feeling pretty good about myself. Unless we lost the game, that would be like taking an L. Anyway, I'm an alcoholic. How are you guys doing tonight? Let's start out with some crowd work. All right, shut up.

I have a hangover. Little context for those of you that don't know me. I'm a basketball comedian. I've been a stand-up for a long time. You know, when I was coming up, everyone was on trend. You always want to be doing the right trend, right? Stand-ups about knowing what the trend is, being hot, staying current. So I was always like, you know, I'm a terrible person.

I'm a chronic masturbator, a degenerate alcoholic. Why aren't you laughing at me? Well, you know, that started to get a little stale. So I decided, you know, what's something that I love? Why don't I incorporate that into my act? So I was like, well, I love nothing more than the pure game of basketball. So I started injecting that into my act, and wasn't that fun? Yeah, it was.

You know? So my act would go a little something like this. You know, it'd be like, me and my crush reading breakfast after a night of passionate lovemaking. When some of the scrambled eggs that I'd made for them dribbled down my chin and onto my shirt, I call that a double dribble. Anyway, I'm still an alcoholic.

But you know, Scott, big chunky bubbles. You always got to be looking for the next new thing. So, you know, my act started to get stale. And that was, you know, that was a tough pill to swallow. A pill as big as a basketball. It wouldn't fit into my mouth because of my pride and my alcoholism. Anyway, I'm still an alcoholic. So, you know, I shifted to the next trend.

So for a while, you know, I did man on the street stuff. I chased people around and scream about puke or piss and shit. It was great. You know, it was like punked for people that never leave Bushwick. And then that went out of style, thankfully. Anyway, I'm an alcoholic. Don't worry, you can keep laughing. And then the next thing, I got to do some cord work with my mic here.

Ever since microphones went cordless, I feel naked up here. As naked as James Worthy after they won one of his five championships with L.A. Lakers. You shouldn't have laughed at that. He only won four. Anyway, so then I transitioned to finding a vulnerable demographic within our country and punching down on them to excite the reactionary fan base. I'd use flawed logical fallacies as my setups and then feel vindicated when my punchline drew laughs. That was great.

And I'd laugh at myself. I'd laugh at my own jokes. You ever try to stand-up? Laff of your own jokes. And then smack your thigh with the microphone. That's good stand-up right there. But, you know, all that grew stale. And I started to think, I don't like these trends.

I want to go back to basketball comedy. And I'm not going back on Comedy Bang Bang until I perfect my act again. So here I am. You've heard most of it already. I got my notes here, like a good stand-up. I don't want to interrupt. Was that it?

Yeah, now I'm feeling a little loose. Now I want to get playful, you know? Oh, okay. I want to get playful. Like, you know when Michael Jordan says, that's so chugy? He didn't coin that term. He didn't coin that term.

I don't think so. He's intergenerational. You're telling me, you've never heard Michael Jordan saying that. That's so chuggy. I've heard him say, fuck those kids, but... Now you're sitting? Yeah, now it's time to the storytelling portion.

Storytelling's a big thing in stand-up these days, right? What are this? Is this musical chairs? No, no, sit back where you wanted to get. Oh, give me the space. Is this... Are we doing a Clint Eastwood thing?

Like, this is Obama sitting here? Anyway, I'm a terrible alcoholic. Move further up? Yeah, in a semicircle. Oh, yeah, there we go. Kick my water bottle. Yeah, check it. So, Skip, your act is describing how your act used to be?

Yeah, that's the first net fix special. So there's part one. Did I say net fix? You might have, but I'm not a big junkie bubbles is going to jump on that. I didn't catch it. Well, like I was saying before, so part one of my net fix special,

You know, they're losing money. They had to drop the L. That's all storytelling. And then I get into bashing vulnerable demographics in part two. You guys know what I'm talking about? Well, any questions for me? I beg your part, I just didn't know if you were done. No, no, that's fine. It's fine.

Yeah. Boy, you told one basketball joke? Is that right? I mean, honestly, anytime you refer to anything from the game of basketball, that counts as a joke. Oh, I see. You know what I mean? So, for example, I already said double dribble, so someone in the crowd yelled a thing that I said before.

You led with double dribble, then you said, let's start off with crowdwork. Well, that's part of a new trend in stand-up that's just chaos. Blending every single trend together. Piss, shit, I've got poop on my head. I want to know more about the prank show where you just ran around saying piss and shit at people. Well, if they'd unlock my old Vine account, you'd be able to see all of it. It was great. The perfect length of the time for comedy, right?

That's what I built my act around. Everything was just six-second bursts. Sexual pun intended. You know, Scott, I don't know if you remember this from the before time that we met. You and I have the same tattoo. I don't remember anything from the last time you're on the show. What tattooed? do we have?

We both have a tramp stamp that says LeBron James ate here. Well, you know, I felt guilty about that. I felt a little bit of shame, you know, because when I'd be in bed with my slam piece, and they'd seen my tram stamp. Boy, I'd say, sometimes they had a look in their eyes like, I'd just committed a flagrant foul. Anyway, I'm still an alcoholic.

So I decided to update it. So right below LeBron James 8 here, I had a tattoo artist inscribe in his prime. So depending on how you feel, about LeBron James anywhere from 2010 to 2018. He just signed that new deal, didn't he? Is he worth that much? Absolutely he's worth that much.

Boy, in... So now you're sitting. Okay, so this is not a joke. I'm getting the formula. When you stand, it's prepared material, when you sit. I'm understanding this now. Oh, dear. No, I was just adjusting.

Yeah, he's definitely worth that contract. I mean, that's... he's earned that. I think I think I'm not even to say a joke here. I think LeBron James has earned a big contract. Or I'm not an alcoholic. See I stood up for the joke part. I'm gonna drop that standing up, sitting down stuff from my act. It's not hitting at the rate that I'm used to when I say I'm an alcoholic.

And every time I say it, watch this. You know, I'm an alcoholic. It's working for you. It's working for me. Are you primarily an alcoholic comedian or a basketball comedian? I'm trying to get a finger on you because I don't remember any of our previous conversation. I remember it happened in Seattle. Yeah, it did happen in Seattle.

Yep. And that's all I remember. You know, when the Seattle Supersonics got stolen from the city by the Oklahoma City Thunder, I thought to myself, Seattle, Oklahoma City understood the assignment. So wait, a city stole a basketball team? You know, I'm enough of a basketball fan that I could earnestly respond right now. I just, I don't know this story.

They were in an airplane or something, they diverted it to... Hold on, okay, come on. Now, I don't understand it either because Oklahoma City already had a basketball team, but then they stole the other basketball team? So briefly, this is hitting me. me right in the solar plexus.

I guess I just want to know what happened to the thunder. When they were displaced by the supersonic, where'd they go? See, this is why I never do Q&A's or crowdwork, because if someone asked me a legitimate basketball question, the joke part of my brain turns off and I just want to give them a legitimate answer. The truth is, when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, the New Orleans franchise briefly relocated to Oklahoma City and had such success and was embraced by the city so much that a group of corporate investors decided, why can't we have a team here in Oklahoma

City, a state that is bereft of all professional franchises. So they knew that the Seattle owners were trying to lobby the city and the taxpayers for money to open a new stadium. The taxpayers didn't want to do that because taxpayers should not pay billionaires to open new stadiums. That should be on the billionaires. And while those talks were stalling between the city and the owners, the owners sold it to a group that said they would keep the team in Seattle, and then they lied, and also they donated a ton of money to

anti-LGB groups. But Oklahoma City does have a great fan base and a rich history. I think that's fine. You just have to tag it with, you're an alcoholic. Like I said, there are two separate parts of my brain.

I'm an alcoholic is absolutely my go-to punchline. But I love the history of basketball. And the history of Oklahoma City. Yeah, that's secondary to my history of basketball. But yeah, absolutely. You know, I'm wearing a jersey right now of one Alonzo Morning.

Did he win last comic standing? He did, yeah. I'm forgetting who he is. Yeah, he crushed. His whole thing is about how much coke he snorts all the time. I wouldn't say that. Legitimately, I met him. He's one of the greatest people of all time.

I have his cell phone number, and I'm too afraid to text them. True. True. That's true. I'd go so far. That's so true that I'm not an alcoholic. No cap.

No cap, no diggedy, no shame. Dead ass? Absolutely dead ass. That slags. I was going to say that slags. No, that slaps. That slags. That slags.

Let's get that going. This is where it starts. That slags. That's slags. Wait, what's the definition of this? Because I don't want to misuse it in like two weeks after it's caught on. Well, if you say that slag, you're talking about a woman in the British sense. Oh, yeah.

By just any woman? So my slag was putting ear spacers in me the other day. Yeah, she was putting ear spacers in me. And, uh... Wait, wait, what? I said, she was putting ear spacers in my ear. What? What are those?

You know, when someone stretches out their ear piercing and puts, in a little circle. Oh, got it, got it. Like a gauge. Got it. Yeah, a gauge. She was putting in, yeah, she was putting in gauges.

So my slag was popping a gauge into my earhole. Into your earhole. When it popped out and fell on the ground, I said, that's an out of bounds play. She said, shut the fuck up. I said, I'm sorry, I'm still an alcoholic. And now is it time for a real basketball question?

I'm not sure. I'm open to real basketball. I mean, you, like, we will get kicked out for curfew if you're asking me real basketball questions. Do you think they should have still kept the peach basket? Oh, yeah. First one to two wins. You can have a guy in a ladder who fishes it out and puts it back into play. Big chunky bubble sounds like you know your history.

Well, that's all I know about basketball. You know, they used to not be able to dribble. What did they do instead? They just passed the ball. They had a pivot foot and then they passed the ball. So they all had to stand there? They couldn't... If they were holding the ball, they just had to stand there. They just had to stand there, and then other people would run around. You'd pass to them.

And then once they caught the ball, they couldn't move, and the defense would swarm. Who invented dribbling, a really frustrated guy? Yep, really? He was just like, fuck this. He was banned for life. And then, like most things, innovators get punished, and then posthumously rewarded. What was that man's name? Skip Dribble, Sr. What?

What? Your father invented dribbling? Well, my father's father. I'm Skip Dribbles Jr., Jr. Is that why it's called dribbling? Because otherwise, I don't know why it's called that. The person who pointed out was like, he's dribbles, he's dribbles, he's dribbling.

And it stuck. Just like Steph Curry, four-time champion, two-time MVP, one-time finals MVP, sticks the three-pointers and says, I've got swag and drip. You stood for that one, and it wasn't a joke. I was confused.

Sometimes, you know, when you try out new material, you want to stand it. I'm going to cross that one off. That one. Oh, okay. No, that one didn't work. So you are working from a list. Oh, I am working from a list.

What else do you have on the list? Because we're running out of time for you. You can believe it. Honestly, I've gotten more time than I. The light went on a lot later than I thought it would. Let's see. I'm on the bathroom floor with my DTF, GF, or BF. And they say James Harding is living rent-free in your head.

And I say, thanks for being so supportive of me. When you're supportive of me, I feel like we're both goal-tending. Anyway, I'm a chronic masturbator and an alcoholic. It's really just madlibs on this sheet. Well, skip dribbles. I wish you a lot of luck. All right, take it easy. Good night.

No, no. Skip dribbles. everyone. Stick around. Stick around, Skip. You don't have to get a physical, do you? I don't have to go home, but can I stay here? You can, but move over to that one. What do you say? Am I giving off chuggy vibes to you?

Do you like that last dance? I bet you did. Oh, I love last dance. Boy, the best part of the pandemic was they finally dropped to that documentary, you know? Made it all worth it. And I took it personally. Honestly, one of the best memes of all times. is Larry Bird and Michael Jordan hugging and it says, you bitch, fuck you.

Isn't that sweet? Isn't that intimate? Two ruthless competitors that both think that the other is a bitch and they want... I guess they want to have sex. Fuck you? I don't know. Wonderful. I'm not quite sure how to respond to just basketball facts. But we have to get to our next guest if that's all right.

Absolutely. They are a motor enthusiast. Do you like things with motors? Oh, absolutely. They should put motors into the players. What? Like supercharged basketball. They all have motors in their feet or whatever.

Motors in their feet. Or they're all on like, you know, what's that invention that the guy who invented the wheelchair that goes downstairs? The Segway. Wee, walt, we, w'wit, walt. That's the sound it made, the wheelchair that goes downstairs. Yep, it does. A segue going downstairs.

That's a, that's an ass. accident. No, the wheelchair going downstairs. Oh, yeah. His previous invention that made the world a better place. And it would go downstairs, it's going weep, wah-whom-whom-wob-wob-wob-wwwom. Wab-baw-b-b-b-b-d-do-d-d-

Get it now? It just clicked. All right, well, she is an enthusiast of things with motors, specifically trucks. Please welcome Kayla Dickie to the stage. Where do I go? So sorry. It's already a gray tooth anyway.

It's fine. It's already dead. It's a little longer and harder than you expect it to be. It's really thick. How did we get here immediately? Kayla, you are a person. I'm trying to explain you to the people who have never heard the show before. Yeah, okay.

So I am a lover of big, big trucks. Specifically, I like guys who drive big, big, big. big trucks and have small dicks. Your two loves. Those are my two passions. Then my hobbies and kind of my job at this point. Kind of your job. How do you mean your job? Well, I'm actually here because I am competing

in the Ford Rock Hard Girl competition. Okay, so this is, okay, so because before you worked at Debbie's Bridal, is that what it was? Oh, David's Bridal. David's Bridal. What the fuck is Debbie's Bridell? Is this a chain people know about? Do you like those snack cakes, Little Davids? You only get married once. Why should you retain any knowledge about a chain?

Because it's in the commercial. You know David's Prong. You guys know it. I think I nailed it. No, I don't like that song. The best commercial song ever, you know. Oh. I think we're thinking of the same one.

Oh, boy. Safe flight repair. Safe flight replace. Gorgeous. song. I thought it was going to be something else and I was like, I can't hit the harmony. I'm so sorry. We wouldn't do that to you.

We wouldn't do that to you. Thank God. What happened last night. You can do barbecue sauce. I did it at the wrong place. You just jumped in. I jumped in with barbecues sauce. Yes, I wasn't with you.

Yes, I was last night. You were somebody else. No, I wasn't. I wasn't, but someone else was. You know, sorry, do some wind sprints. If you make a mistake like that, you have to do wind sprints. Skip can show you. It's not a wind sprint.

It is if that's as fast as she goes. Yeah, true. I'm getting ready for my competition. What do you guys think? For me in a carpet bikini. Carpet? Carpet. Like shag or?

No, like carpet from a car. Like an interior of a car. So, yeah, I'm here because I'm, I'm competing. God, Jesus Christ. I'm competing in a... Sorry, sorry. We're trying to figure this out.

Do you mean like floor mats? Yeah, I mean like floor mats. In the car. You don't have to bite my head off, lady. Those aren't made a carpet. Those are rubberized. Those are weatherized rubber. That's the kind of bikini I wear.

It's not complicated. Like, am I insane? like looking at me like, yeah, these people are crazy. Like, the thing is that the Ford Rock Hard competition, if I may, is where girls like me who love big, big, big trucks go and compete together in front of all these guys with tiny dicks. And we basically compete to be the truck girl. of America.

And it's a huge honor. And it comes with a cash prize and a leather bikini. A leather bikini, like the interior. Like the interior of a car, leather. See, everyone's like, yeah, it makes sense. It makes perfect sense. How much is the cash prize, if you don't mind me asking? It's huge.

It's $4900. Why didn't they go the full five? Well, because they were like, that would be crazy. That would be so much money. So I'm competing. I compete every year. You compete every year, really? I can be every year.

And this year, it's here. Yes. It's here in Charlotte. Oh, wow. Congratulations, Charlotte. That's amazing. Way to go. I'm sure I'm going to see you guys all tomorrow.

Have there been a lot of Rock Hard Ford 150s, 250s, all that, like traveling around Charlotte today? Oh, yeah. You guys will see them. There's the Ford Rock. card 300, 4 Rock Hard, 350. Ford Rock Card, 400.

Yeah, what are they up to at this point? They're up to 500, which is nuts. I'm still, like, I can't even believe it. I saw it was rumored on the message boards on Facebook. And I'm out in Charlie, like, getting to the show. And lo and behold, what do I see?

Ford Rock Hard, 500. Bopping around. I was stuck in my tracks. You're trying to move, but you were paralyzed. I was absolutely stark in my tracks. Stark in your tracks. I could not move a limb. This is before.

This was on my way to the show. Luckily, I made it because the guy picked me up in his big, big, big, big truck. You're not with your boyfriend anymore? No, I'm always, first of all, I am always single. for the Miss Ford Rock Hard competition. I had to break up with my last boyfriend, Shart.

And the guy who picked me up, this time's named Bork. And his friend in the car, yet another friend, so lucky. They're two hot guys with tiny dice sticks. Sitting in that car. They're not very long, but they're as thick as they are long? How many times do we have talked about this?

They picture a dice. One singular dice. A dye, yes. That's it. That's all. I don't think I have to explain it again. I'm pretty sure there's some people here with them. And I see you. I see every single one of you.

With like big droopy testicles or? Good question. Why do you always want to talk about dicks every time I come on? You're trying to talk about... You mentioned it right away. I'm trying to talk about the Miss... Miss Hard Rock Hard competition. Okay.

And you keep being like, what about the Dix? I'm like, go... Go find, like, a guy in a big truck for yourself. Like, why do you have to come up to me? I'm like, everyone here's like, that's insane. It's been crazy. I don't know that they're on your side or... Everyone's like, God.

That's nuts. Well, what do you have to do in the competition? You know, you were strutting around the stage a little bit. Yeah, so obviously, it... you know, you do have to look really good and really hot. Yeah, what have you been doing to prepare for this? Okay, well, so I guess it's a good time to talk about, like, what is in the competition, just because... My first question.

Did you say that? I don't remember you saying that. Everyone's like, he didn't ask that. So, like, one of the things, of course, is the tire fire. Tire bear? Tire fire. Tire fire. Yeah, so they look.

light a big fire around this really big tire. Around it. It's not a tire fire where they're lighting tires on fire. They light a fire around a tire? They light a huge fire around a tire. And basically all of these girls, like me, have to climb to the top of the fire tire. And the tire, I think, is like 26 and a half feet.

And we just all scramble up there. And it's literally like life or death. Like, we throw each other to the ground. So whoever's up and remains up is the winner? Well, yeah, I mean, if you stay alive, like, you're doing good. I've always said that. Success. So, yeah, so I've been obviously training for that.

I've been training. How do you train for that? Have you gotten a big tire or? Liding fires around tires. That's not the part that you have to do, though. Watching the tire burn, you know, that kind of thing. You should be practicing the climbing of the tire. I think I know how to practice, and I watch the fire.

that's the main thing I've done. But yeah, I go to the gym and stuff too, of course. And then the flap, the flap slap. Why is everyone grossed out? Flap slap slap. Flap slap. Flap slap. I'm sorry, can I ask? Typically, how many contestants remain after the tire fire?

Well, we usually get about half through. And the other half die? Yeah. This is like squid game, in other words. Oh, I've never seen that, but sure. Sure, sure, sure, yeah. And flap slap slap. What is flap slap?

So you know those flaps that we were just talking about. Oh, where? Mud flaps. Mud flaps? Mud flaps or the flaps by your feet in the car for those flaps? For someone who loves trucks as much as you do, you don't know anything about them, it seems like.

I know just enough, okay? You know you like the power that they have. Yeah, I mean, look, I am all about just supporting that driver and that big, big, big man in his big, big, big truck. So it's like, I come secondary. I don't really need to learn about the truck. I just need to be in it. Everyone's like, yeah, we get it.

Floor mat. Floor mat. So you grab a mat or you grab a flap, as I think to call. And you basically just slap the shit out of each other. It's honestly so much fun. Everyone's covered in welts by the end. How many people die from that? A quarter.

A quarter of them or the quarter of the remaining. Oh, a quarter of the remaining. Yeah, so we're down to a percentage left of... 30, about 37.5 somewhere. Something like that. And then, and then, of course, the pump and dump. What's, I barely want to ask.

The pump and dump? But I have to. What is the pump in? It's one of my favorites. I'm actually really good. Basically, what it is, is you take the gas thing. You said it before, pump. The pump.

And you shove it in. mouth and you basically just fill her up and and then you squirt it through your mouth into the hole on the truck that takes the gas please stop miming that I'm really good because I don't have a gag reflex so it just goes straight down and I'm like straight up full of gas skip what do you think of about this. It sounds like something I've done with one of my casual

sex partners. You know, now we call each other acquaintances. And I think that's suss. Until this second I had forgotten

about the third part of your thing, which is the trends. Gotta stay on trend. Anyway, so you pump this and then you jump. I'm genzy, so I totally get it. Right.

I got every word of the last part. So what's the dump part? though. The dump? Yeah. Yeah, dump. Stop miming that.

You're miming the same thing as the pump. No, when you take the pump, it's like this. So what's the dump? I see it. I saw 80 camera phones go up in the ground. So then, of course, there is the hubcap tap. Hubcap tap. Hubcap tap.

Is that where you take that? the little things that go on the tires? Yeah. You take... Oh. You take the hubcaps, and you basically just do like a fun little tap.

So that one's really team. What does that mean? I don't even know. You take the hubcap and you do a tap. You do a tap dance. Yeah. That one's fun. That one's not what people expected.

How do they judge that part of the competition? How fast are you tapping? And how does the... And does the... And does the... Does the Lumpcap look good? This isn't the pump and dump. Just hold it. There you go.

Of course. There is the... Your teeth really hurt, I can tell. There is, of course. There is, of course. The... Same to three times. There's the smoke and choke.

Smoking choke. This sounds a lot like... the pump and dump, but I'm going to ask. What is smoke and choke? The smoke and joke is where you take, you know, the exhaust pipe. And you go, and you take as much of the exhaust as you possibly can. And then however many rings you can make. So I'm also really good at that one, because I don't have a gag reflex.

Did I tell you that? Yeah, you mentioned it several times. Wait, hold on to say. How many people are left alive at this point? I had the same quiz. So we're down to 8%. At this point, 8%. I feel like if you can make it to the cap and tap,

you're in pretty good shape. Yeah, you are. Anyone die from the cap and tap? The hubcap tap. The hubcap tap. Forgive me. Well, if you don't make the hubcap look good while you tap really fast,

then someone will kill you. Because the guys at this, I just want to emphasize this, the guys at the competition are so serious about their trucks, they care so much. And if the hubcap looks bad, they will kill you. But that's their right. It's a miracle.

What could make the hubcap look bad? The light, if the light isn't right. So you're responsible for the entire stage picture? I thought this was just in a parking lot. If the sound is bad, if the sound is bad of the tap? Oh, no. you're in trouble. Guns in the head. They do it. They do it by

a gun, really. Yeah, they have you get on your knees, though. Execution style? Yeah. What? It's like, yeah, we know. No, anyway. Aren't you worried, Kayla? I mean, I don't know why you're doing this. No, I went. I mean, like, I literally win every year.

Yeah, but the people who don't, 92% of the people, don't make it out. Oh, I'm not even done. There's more. There's more. This is when the talent portion kicks in. The hubcap tap is not considered part of the talent. No, that's purely physical. And how fast you can do it and how the lighting

looks. So with the talent portion, obviously there's lots of different things you can do. So in the past years I have counted cup holders. I have I adjusted the mirrors. I waxed a whole truck with my tits.

I think last year I fed multiple cheeseburgers to a guy going 110 10 miles an hour on a brick road. So it kind of can be anything. It's sort of creative in that way. It's sort of fun. What do you have plan for this year?

So this year, actually, I'm doing like a fun spin. I'm going to go intellectual. Really? You, Kayla? Yeah, me. What do you have planned? Okay, so I am going to list all the state mottos on license plates. All of the state mottos on license plates. You can do this.

Yeah. Let's hear it. I can't do all of them. You guys have to come tomorrow. We'll give us a taste. Okay, well give me a state. Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania.

Don't do you do that like that. Okay. Arkansas? Arkansas. Who? Arkansas who? Yeah. It repeats the state name.

Arkansas who? Skip, you have one? I can absolutely name a state. right now. Weird when you're, when you have to. It's very hard, isn't it? It really is. Montana.

Montana. This ain't the only city. That's worse than who. Rhode Island? Rhode Island. Why you gotta go here like that? Delaware. I'm not that rich.

Hawaii. Okay. okay? With like a long stretch out A? Okay. North Dakota. North Dakota is nobody's going to be there. North Carolina.

Of course. This one is... Philadelphia, Dickey, everyone. Good luck on the show. I moved down. Yeah, I think you all could move down. But I wait until you introduce. Oh, sorry. I'm still learning

the rules. I'm thinking about tomorrow. What time does the competition start? 9.30 p.m. What time does it typically wrap up? The next day, 10, 29 p.m. So it's 24 hours and 59 minutes. Yeah. Is that right?

24 hours, 58 minutes. She got you. Go ahead, check it. Everyone's like, she said it right. He didn't know. All right. Well, it's time to get to our final guest of the evening. Are you excited for this?

I'm so fucking pumped. I could pump it down. You don't have to say yes that loud. It's time for the final guest. Yes. End my suffering. He's never been on the show before. This is exciting.

We had a TV host on earlier on in the, the, program and he's a TV host. He is a TV host. Please welcome. Sawyer Jr., everyone. Hello. My name is Sawyer Jr. And I am a psychic medium. You're one of the psychic mediums. I'm one of the psychic mediums. Yes, sir. And I'm very happy to be here. A beautiful town. Yeah, well, you sound like you're from the South. I am from the South. I grew up just outside a Black Pepper Gravy, Louisiana. Right outside of it. Just right outside.

Yeah. Didn't get into it, though. No, no, no. No, I barely made it over to Black Pepper Gravy. That's where the city people are. So you lived in a suburb of Black Pepper Gravy. Good bubbles, by the way. Black pepper gravy.

I beg your pardon. I was doing the bubbles with you. Bubbles? That's just the way I talk. Oh. Watch out Sawyer. All right. Watch out, Sawyer.

He's going to throw hands. You angry, Chunky Bubbles? I'm not happy. Never seen two characters almost immediately fight. I like Chunky Bubbles. I'm not trying to fight. Big Chunky Bubbles if you don't find. You don't look big to me.

You're looking slim over there, Chunky. are big and chunky. Oh, you're skinny. My bad. I was going to say, I'm surprised you're a medium because you look more like an extra double X-XL.

Since you're throwing weight jokes around. You know what, Scott? I come all the way up here and you make fun of my size. Well, just so you know, I am wearing a medium shirt. I don't know if you can tell. Oh, okay.

Yeah, it was very ill-fitting. Yes. goes down to just below your tits. That's my kind of shirt. You can actually see the very bottom of my nipples in this shirt. Huge pants that come up way over the belly button. Those are like MC Hammer pants. They are.

You actually got it. Oh, uh-oh. Oh. Don't hurt them. Oh. So anyone who wears those can dance like that? Yep. It's just the pants you need to do it.

But thank you for. having me here, Scott. I'm very excited. I am here to promote my new television show. You have a new television show? I don't know about your old television show. What's that? No, this is my first show. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called Swamp Psychic. P-S-W-A-M-P psychic. P-S-W. Oh, got it. So the P-S-W is silent on both words. I thought you were doing an SVU kind of thing where it's stood for something. Swamp Psychic

or PSW-A-E-M-P. I do get some type of spinoff called Swamp Psychic, colon, swamp. That would be nice. But yeah, the Outdoor Living Network Plus really took a chance on me

and gave me my own show. This is incredible. It's unbelievable. You always remember your first TV show. You can't forget it. And of course, I share the hour with Bayou bitches and Louisiana tattoo outlaws. So three shows are sharing an hour?

How does that work? It's a quibby. 20 minute Epps. 20 minute, but do you do one minute of one show, then one minute of the next? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We alternate minutes. Obviously.

Yeah. Feel stupid for even bringing it up. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to kind of do three beats, do them again, three beats. You get it. It's how people do music. That's exactly how people do music.

Three beats, if it's a waltz. Oh, we love the waltz. Don't we love the waltz? Love the waltz, yeah. The pants. It's the pants. The pants made him do a box step. I can do them all.

You can do them all. All the dances. Can you do the hubcap tap? The what? The hubcap tap. And so make the hubcap like that. Yeah, let's see it. Make sure your lighting is good.

Oh, yeah. And sound. It's perfect. No, you need to pick up the hubcap. I don't know what you're doing. Is that it? No, not even close. Your beach should be going.

The hubcap is coming. Your feet should be going 200 miles an hour. And the hubcap should be directly in the sun. It's catchy. With all due respect, it's just. It's very catchy. It's just don't do that in town this weekend or you're going to get murdered.

Okay. Sadden that. Okay. All right. Well, this, well, yeah, I'm very excited. Sawyer, Jr., by the way. Who's Sawyer Senior? Senior, Senior.

What? No. No. That was my granddaddy. Oh. My daddy's name is Senior Jr. My son's name's a little junior. So why are you Sawyer, Jr.?

Just families are crazy. Families are crazy. Yeah. Got it. Yeah, but I, it's really, it's unbelievable for me this year. Back on track. I mean, yes, back on track. Love it.

So it's an unbelievable year to be Sawyer Jr. With Swamp Psychic. Swamp Psychic, yeah. We, of course, we landed Jack Link's garlic sardines as our, sponsor. Amazing sponsor. Yeah. Do they have integrated marketing

in the show? Yes, about every 32 seconds a jacksling's garlic sardines commercial plays. At a volume your TV is not ready for. 32 seconds into your minute. Jacklings,

garlic sardines. That's a motorcycle pulling away. The Jacklings are driving, of course. Oh, so they're anthropomorphic? Yes. Are they like the California raisins? Just like it.

They got their own Christmas special. Did they make one of them less sexy, like the green M&M? Did they give her new boots, new shoes? Yeah, they're coming at the garlic saratthropic garlic sardines for having their tits out. Yeah. I'm like, what are y'all won for me, sir? The original concept is that their tits are out.

I mean, what? I see nothing wrong. It's cancel culture. It's cancel culture. So now we can't watch a can of anthropomorphic garlic sand sardines because there's boys and girls fuck each other in a commercial. America, you know. It's unbelievable this cancel culture.

I don't care if my kids sees a... A garlic sardine get bent over? It's fake characters. It's like watching, you know, hentai or... Just like that. Hold on a second, hold on a second. I never thought I'd say this. Scott, go on.

No one has ever said that on the show. Go off on hentai, queen. I just want to say I was raised on the garlic sardines. You were? Yeah, I would just be like... So good, right? Stop miming them. Stop.

Oh. Oh, I choke it down. And I love the cartoons growing up. They had a huge influence on me. I know. You know what's crazy when you're actually eating them is they also have tits and genitalia. That was the whole concept.

Little fish with tits and dicks. That was the elevator pitch. Makes me hungry. Why are we cutting the tits and dicks off these sardines? That's almost more offensive. Exactly. To neuter sardines? Now we're just going to have smooth fish with no tits and dicks.

It's so sad. No, thank you. But yeah, Scott. But yeah. But yeah. I was just a normal kid. Okay. Well, then we don't have to talk about it.

No, no, no. You want to talk about it. Yes, I do. Okay. But I was at. a rodeo and a plate of hush puppies fell on my head and I fell into a coma and when I awoke I could hear from the departed. Oh right, you're a psychic. Yes. You're talking about sardine dicks for so long. I lost the thread. Sometimes the tangent is the whole bit. So you hush puppies fell on your head. How many years or days or months?

Were you out? Oh, I was out for a month. Which month? Did you miss Christmas? December. Oh, no. I know. I missed the garlic sardines gang bang Christmas special.

I stay up every year for that. I know. Because it's had a very odd time. I know. And me and the kids gather around and we watch that shit. And we dress up like... Of course. It was regular.

right before midnight mass, we'd watch it. Go to church and you light some candles. It's a beautiful time of the year. Beautiful. You missed it. Well, I missed it. Yeah, but when you woke up, you had psychic powers. I did.

I could hear from The Departed. I could... I love that movie. What's that? I love that movie. Oh, my God. A remake of Infernal Affairs. Sorry?

Scott, talk about hentai again. So you can hear from them, you can't see them. No, the voices were just here and there. And I was like, oh, that's somebody's granddaddy. That's somebody's aunt. Do they identify as like, I'm a grandfather when they talk to you? Or are you getting context clues about what they're talking about? Well, yeah, usually they'll say like grandson.

They think you're the grandson. Yeah, they're trying to, they're just wandering souls. Right. They're looking for the grandson. Yeah, and they do. And they see a portal. to the living world and merit you. Exactly.

Exactly. So I was wondering if I could talk to somebody maybe from your life, Scott, just to do a little reading here, if you guys don't mind. I would love a demonstration. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, I'm getting a lot of stuff. I'm getting a lot of stuff right now. A lot of stuff is swirling around in here. And the ghosts travel with me? Yes, yes. They get close to you. But because I don't live here, but they're... No, they get on the plane with you.

So, like, planes are the most haunted places they're off. Oh, my God, they're packed. So many ghosts have to travel. Do they stand up on the plane? Or are they sitting on your lap and you don't even know? They're underneath the seats. They're underneath the seats. Really?

And in the overhead compartment. Is that way there's no space for my... fucking bag. That's exactly right. Every time they say we've run out of space and we might have to check your bag to your location, a gate check, it's a ghost. Okay, so what ghost do you get anything? Should we face each other? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Okay, you mind if I lay a hand on you? You're already doing it. All right, Scott, did you, I'm getting a name. I'm getting a name. Did you have a boss named Jelly Roll? I'm getting a figure that was important to you and gave you orders and bossed you around and named jelly roll.

No, I don't think so. Okay, okay, that's all right, that's all right. Okay. That's okay, that's okay. A lot of times people are just walking by, they're trying to get to their plane. And it's not them. It's not them.

Okay, okay. Oh, yes, all right. This is feeling like a maternal figure. Yes, she wants to talk to you. She wants to tell you something. It could be a grandmother. It could be a great-grandmother. Did your grandmother slip on a puddle of wrench dressing

and fall into a man named Freight Train? Wrench dressing? Wrench, you know, dressing that you put on wrenches and lick off of it? The good stuff. No, no. No, okay, that's all right. That's all right? Sorry.

Sometimes my readings are a little specific to my clientele. Oh, you think that this is people. Who are your clientele? Just people around my town. Oh. So sometimes it's not. Right. There's the premise.

Okay, there we go. Thank you. Got it. Locked in. Just look at the papers, Scott. Okay. Do you have a. step nephew named Rust

who got in trouble for fighting a crawl dad with some toenail clippers. No, I don't... Shit! Sorry, don't... Oh, God damn! Fuck! You've taken this really hard. I'm booing my tour!

No, Sawyer. You're doing three? You're doing three. Where are you on tour? Plogged artery, Missouri is my next stop. Okay, all right. This is part of your tour?

This is our tour. My bad, my bad. But thanks for having me here on this stop. Okay, hold on. Hold on. I'm getting. You're holding. What are you getting?

Hold on. Oh, have you... Okay. Something really good for you in your future. I feel it. Okay. I feel it. It's a career endeavor.

This is not related to a ghost that you're here. No, no. This is now psychics stuff. Yes. This is psychic stuff. Okay, God. Because I know the difference between psychic and medium. But you're a psychic medium, so you do both.

I do both. Back and forth in the same readings. What do you got? What's my future? Okay. Are you developing a mustard-based barbecue? No, no. Shit!

Come on. Who's your family? Junior. Oh, right. And senior junior. Okay, Scott, I'm getting something. That's those pants again. Woo!

Is it my feet, Scott! See, that's the Hubcap tap. Do you know any Michael Jackson moves? Do the lean, do the lean. The lean, the smooth criminal. He! Choo-choo! I don't remember Michael Jackson doing a train noise.

Choo-choo-choo! Getting something, Scott. What do you got? Oh, it's health. It's health. Health. It's health. This is a good thing?

Yes. Yes. You can get more healthy? You have an ingrown toenail that looks like Dale Earnhardt Jr. No. Shit! Shoo! Through the leg.

Do the leg. What about Shamon? You haven't done Shamon. Shammone. I'm having a mental breakdown. I think you are. This public appearance, I'm having a mental breakdown. I'm not as strong mentally as I thought I would.

Scott. I'm sorry, but I mean, hopefully none of your, the people who are bankrolling the show are in the crowd, right? I know. I hope no titty sardine people are here. Oh, no. A bunch of huge fish with tis. You got to respect how they dress like the sardines

everywhere they go. Scott, did you get married in a fireworks store? No. Shit! This is all things that are specific to your hometown. Oh, shit. Okay What's your

What's your grandma's name? Just give me that. Okay, I'll get a Betty. Betty, yes, Betty, okay. Okay, Betty says it's fine. Betty says everything's fine. She's fine. Okay?

She's totally fine. She's fine. I wasn't worried about that. She loves you. She wants you to know. that how she died was the way she wanted to die. And she wants you to know to give that little metal boat that's full of corn

back to Barbara. Give her the boat filled with corn. This is, no, no. Choo-hoo! No, you can't just go back to the dancing to try to save this. No. No, no, we don't like that.

Chew! No. Why don't you do someone? who has some unfinished business with their parents, big chunky bubbles over here. Big chunky bubbles. That's me. As you may or may not know,

my father was shot in the nose by my mother. Oh my God. And she died in the electric chair. Oh, no. Yes, those two are related. Wait, did your father do a really bad hubcap tap?

If only, he humiliated my mother on the sweeping floor of the hot dog factory. That's right. I was backstage. I did hear you. That feels like one million years ago. Right? Remember when Conan was here? Barely. We've been going long enough for Scott to watch three or four

hentai movies at this point. Do BCB. Because he's got big chunky bubbles. Yes, big chunky bubbles. I'm sorry. He looked at me like, Okay, big chunky bubbles. Yeah. All right. Your mom is happy.

What? She's happy. Really? It's really scary when you say, like, you're fine. She's fine. It makes me think she's not. You know, she's fine. She's not.

She's totally fine. Where is? It's fine. She's in hell, but she's fine. What? There's a really nice little part of hell that they don't talk about that's actually fine.

She's there. It's not good. It's bad. Okay, it's bad. She's burning in hell. It's bad. Okay. Good news. Next. I hated her. Go ahead. Is that helpful? Yes, that's good. That's good.

I despise my parents and I'm thrilled. They're dead. Okay. Did your dad, I'm getting that he spit in a gator's eye one time? I mean, I wouldn't put it past him Not that I've ever heard Well, he wants you to know he's fine I don't care He's fine He's fine

He's not He's fine This is bad news for me He's okay I don't want to hear this He's in heaven No, he shouldn't be He's in heaven

He's fine There's been an error He said there was a clerical error At the door At the gates Oh my God, he admitted it. He admitted it. He admitted it.

He's happy. I hate this. Don't try to save this. Don't try to save this with the biggest dance of them all to close out this show. See? To ha! Millie Sullivan! Yeah!