Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: 2024 Tour, Dublin Pt. 1 (Paul F. Tompkins, Lily Sullivan, Jessica McKenna, Ryan Gaul)

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

This Bonus Bang is live from Dublin, Ireland! Scott welcomes to the stage J.W. Stillwater, Kayla Dickie, Margery Kershaw, and Chet Brothers. Originally recorded September 10, 2024. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everyone, Scott Ackerman here, and welcome to another bonus bang, where we are re-releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall. Now, this week's bonus bang is the last episode in a series that we are calling a Quicky with Kayla Dickie, which of course features that wonderful character, Kayla Dickie, played by Lily Sullivan. You know, Kayla Dickie, if you've got a huge truck, you've got her attention. Now, this episode is called 2024 Tour Dublin Part 1. It was recorded live at the Sugar Club in Dublin, Ireland, and this was the 34th episode of the 2024 tour and was originally released to subscribers at CBBWorld.com on September 10th, 2024. In addition to Lily, the episode features Paul F. Tompkins as Vigilante Hero, J.W. Stillwater, Jessica McKenna as Park Ranger, Marjorie Kershaw, and Ryan Gull, rather, as Chet Brothers.

And as you'll hear in the episode, the live shows, they're always full of surprises and the funniest guests. So come on out and share the good times. We are on the road right now with our ground beefing tour, 26, just started on Monday. And you can see me along with Paul F. Tompkins and the Comedy Bang Bang All-Stars as we put on a show in a city hopefully near you. And we are going to be coming back to Dublin on this tour, this time at Vickers Street in late July, 26, as part of, our leg out there in the UK and Ireland. And you can check out all of the tour dates at CBBWorld.com slash tour.

All the ticket links are up there. We hope to see you at a show. Now, if you enjoy this episode and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as shows like CBB Presents and Scott hasn't seen, The Neighborhood Listen, College Town, become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the CBB archives, every live episode we've ever done like this one, and ad-free new episodes,

plus even more original shows. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang. Thank you. All right.

All right. Thank you. Thank you. Why are there people lit up in the back? I can see there every expression. This is going to be a tough show. All right, I have to do this first. Diddle Diddle Dumpling, my son, John went to bed with his stockings on.

John is not a bright boy, but we let him stay for the tax break. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Oh, even more of you are lit up now. Hello, love. You just made it. That was a close one. Thank you so much to Ryan Gull's baseball card commercial. Two in a row from Ryan Gull's baseball card commercial.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang Sugar Club. My gosh. Such a pleasure to be here in Ireland. Have never been. It looks great. Oh, you're not illuminated any longer. Thank God. It's so wonderful to be here.

We wondered if we could do shows in Ireland and you guys proved it. Here we are. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for showing up. My name is Scott Ockerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. And I have a question for you. It doesn't seem possible, but is there anyone here in this small crowd who has... Doesn't know what this is has never heard of Comedy Bang Bang.

Yes. Don't sound so... annoyed. Yes. Why am I here? Someone kidnapped me. Threw me in the back of a van. Here I am now.

Well, sir, you're not going to like what I'm about to say. It's a live podcast taping. It's essentially a talk show. I'm the host of the talk show. I'm going to bring out several guests here. We're going to have conversations.

We've not talked about what these conversations are. We've not rehearsed any of these conversations. We've not pre-planned any of these conversations. We've not discussed the subject matter or anything. And we're going to bring people out, and we're going to have fun. It's a pretty good show today. You know, we have a reality TV star. That's exciting.

I don't think for your country. So you won't know who they are. We also have a government employee, but a U.S. government. an employee. So, enjoy that show. But before we get to that, Dublin, I'm so proud to bring what has become for a lot of people

their favorite part of the show and what a lot of people, yes, that's right, I hear them saying what a lot of people have said is the most exciting 15 seconds in podcasting. You heard someone say BR and you're out there saying what could that possibly stand

for? B.R. Are they saying they're cold and they just don't have the onomatopoeia sense to go burr? No, what they're saying is B.R., which stands for two very special words here on the show. Of course we're talking, Dublin, about the balcony report. Let's get to it. Fowball. All right, what this is and you already know what it is. Why

am I bothering? You know it. You love it, but I'm going to let this gentleman back here know exactly what he's in for. What this is, is it's instructional for the people listening back at home, and actually, for some of you with no spatial awareness, to find out

exactly to the balcony, how many balconies are in each of the venues in which we're performing. A balcony, of course, is what you always want to perform in front of. The more the better. That means you've arrived in show business. Don't want to brag, but in London, we performed

in front of three balconies. That's right. So, are you booing balconies or London? London? I get it. I understand. I read one history book.

I get it. Thank you. So let me tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to give you two numbers. The first number I'm going to give you is the number of balconies in this room. Realizing that may be anticlimactic, I'm then going to add that number

and tell you the number of the balconies that we have performed in front of across the entire tour. Now, this has been a long tour. We're edging close to the end of it. I hate to say edging in reference to this show. But it applies.

This is our 35th show of the tour. We have performed so far in front of 36 balconies. Yes. That's not one of the numbers I'm going to give you. That's a bonus number. So I'm going to add the first number I give you to that number, which is 36.

And Dublin, Sugar Club, I am pleased as punch. To announce you have zero balconies. Wow. Even when it's a low number, it's thrilling. So I'm going to add that number to 36. It's changing it for tomorrow's show. There we are. Across the entire tour, over 36 shows.

We have performed in front of 36 balconies. And I don't have to tell you, that's an average of one per night. By the way, this segment is now over. Thank you very much. All right, we have a great show tonight. Are you guys ready for it? You're such a great crowd. I'm so happy to be here.

I mentioned, let's see, on the show tonight. Tonight, we have a reality TV star. We also have a U.S. government employee. Is y'all safe? Sorry, whoever's speaking in the crowd, could you please? Oh, my gosh. It's J.W. Stillwater, everyone. Is y'all safe?

See the verbal confirmation from everybody. Is y'all safe? Yes. They're very safe. They're the safest people ever met in my life. We're safe. Safe as houses. Of course, we have this in case we want to...

That's the pit. Start a mosh pit. I know about this stuff. People get in there, listen to you talk, and start throwing punches. J.W. Stillwater, it's incredible to see you here. We didn't expect to see you on the show. Nobody expects J.W. Silwater

to be in Dublin, Ireland, of all places. For those of you who don't know J.W., I am a vigilante hero from Cumberbatch County, Florida. This explains my strange garb. You're, of course, wearing coveralls. That's right. A mask made out of a bandana.

And the flag of Florida as my cape. And a mask, of course, made out of a bandana. I said that, yeah. I wanted to say it too. It is fun to say. It is fun. But also your hat. is what I meant to say. Yeah, and a hat.

The hat and the coveralls. Are they part of your your civilian identity as well? Yeah, they're part of my civilian identity. I'm by day of fanbow mechanic named Eddie Lee Capers. Forget that I said that. That is my secret identity.

I do not want my loved ones to be harmed, not criminals. Who are your loved ones? Have we ever talked about this? We haven't, really. You don't want them to be harmed. Who are we talking about? Oh, it's my wife and my four kids. You have a wife?

This never came up. This has never come up. Oh, yeah. No, I've been married for about 30 years. Really? Yeah. Her name's Linda. Linda.

Best woman in the world. You know, I like to say, I marry my best friend. That's so nice. My best friend is a guy named Steve, but... Y'all want to get married. It's legal now, right? I don't... I'm not sure about here.

Oh. Oh, it is. No, everything that we had that was legal is now legal here, and everything that was illegal here is now going to be illegal in America. Yes! We're doing a freaky Friday with people's rights. How old are your children? I'm stammering because I'm so stunned at this information.

I got my son, Ted. He is 21. 21. Yeah. So you didn't name him after the funny bear movie. No. He predates the funny bear movie. I named him after Theodore Roosevelt. One of our great presidents. He loves shooting animals. And what does Ted do? He's at Harvard. Very proud of him. On a full ride? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he's super smart. What is his... Hey, I haven't been me in a while. And you're doing good.

Am I? Yeah. Because I feel like I sound like somebody. No, no, no, no. That I didn't sound like before. What do you normally say? Let's lock in. You say, is y'all safe?

Is y'all safe? Y'all ever seen a gator do a double take? Right. That's right. No, you have to say it. Oh, y'all ever seen a gator do a double take? There. And then, of course, when people bring the fan boat in for repair,

nine times out ten? it's going to be that fan. Yep. You're locked in. All right. All right. Good to know. That's good to know.

What is Ted's field of study, if you don't mind me? Geology. Geology. Yeah, he's a Harvard geologist. What is there left to know about, that's the Earth, right? We're trying to figure out how to eat them. How to eat rocks. Make a more sustainable planet.

I'm an impression you just put it in your mouth and chew. That's going to be harder than you think. You ever ate a rock? They held on the teeth. That's true. Maybe we should make teeth stronger. Think of how a lozenge can crack one of your teeth and a half. Now try a rock.

Sometimes you can bite it into a rock and it just goes crunch. So you have eating a rock. Yeah. And it goes crunch. What kind of rock is this? Ignis. You know a lot about rocks. From 10.

always talking about him at the dinner table. That's right. I'm very proud. Yeah. And then you must have two daughters as well? I do have two. Why must I? I do, but why must I? You said my boy, Ted. And that implies that you only have one boy.

Well, I said I had four children. I thought three. You might have thought that, but that's not what I said. Four? Thank you, Dublin. So you do have two daughters? So you have two sons, two daughters? That's right.

Wow. A set of each. And run through the ages of the other ones, if you don't mind. Ted is 21. Miranda is 19. Michelle is 15. Bert is two years old. Wow. We thought that chapter of our life was closed.

Then somebody left Bert on our doorstep. Oh. Yeah. No, Linda got a tube side and I got a vasectomy. On the same day? Yep. We made a date night out of it. We were on adjoining tables holding hands.

They played some spa music. We were sipping on, you know, water with a lime in it. So that's wonderful that you have such a loving and devoted family, it sounds like. And are they upset that you? you're spending most nights out there on the town looking for crimes? They don't know I'm doing it. They don't know. They're not in on the secret.

They just know I'm Eddie Lee Capers, which I'm not. Is there a last name Lee Capers or just Capers? Capers. Capers. It's Ted Lee Capers. They're all in the middle name Lee. So Miranda. Miranda Le Capers, Michelle Lee Capers.

Bertley Capers. And you know what? My wife, Linda, she took the middle name Lee. Did she married me? Linda Lee Capers. No, she's Linda Lee Johnson. She just took the lead. She just took my middle name.

All right. I was like, you got your choice. I was hoping she didn't pick Eddie. So, you, of course, your origin story, you lost a hammer. That's right. My hammer got stole, and I felt like the crime was too much in Combach County. And the police is corrupt, big Earl and little Earl. which, by the way,

Big Earl is the son and Little Earl's father. And I said, enough is enough. And you know what happened? Chip Zenuff was nearby. And he said, are you, okay. From the band, enough is enough? Enough Z enough.

Was that his Christian name? Zenuf. It's probably Charles Zenuf. Not Chip. Sure. Anybody else in here 55 years old? So, So I started patrolling

and preventing crimes from happening in Cumberbets County, Florida. Wow. Because they hear the whir of the fanboat blades and they say, oh, I better get out of here. Now, from what I know about fan boats, you can hear those...

Oh, I can't wait to hear this. You can hear the whir of the blades approximately 15 minutes before the fan boat arrives. Fifteen minutes. It's not a jet-in. engine. How much of a head start are you giving everyone when they hear the word

Oh, these guys got precise enough time to get scared and get going. So you've never caught anyone? Never needed to. By the time I got there, no crime is happening. So you don't even know if a crime was occurring because by the time you're there. Here's what I know.

People like to commit crimes. Somebody needs to Stop that from happening. I am doing exactly that. So you are basically just tootling around in your... Tootin! You don't tootling a fanboat, son?

What term would you describe it as? Fanning. So you're out there in Florida, fanning around. Faning around. Seeing the sights. Yeah. And assuming that crimes are stopping

all around you as you approach. I mean, if I'm not seeing the crime, and knowing that people like to do crimes, then I have stopped the crimes. I don't see what's so hard to grasp about this. I wish Ted was here to talk to you. And did you ever find the hammer? I'm still on the hunt for the hammer.

But I come over here because I got a lead. Okay, so we're in Dublin. That's right. Usually when I see you, it's out there in Los Angeles, you take the fan boat. That's right. You go through the Panama Canal. That's correct.

But it must have been so much easier to get here. Oh, it was a dream. It was a breeze. Just open water. I had a wonderful time. About how long does it take to sail here via fan boat? Well, it's not sail. It's a fan boat. Seven days.

How many canisters of gas did you need to bring with you? All of them. I got faster as I went on. And I finally made it to the... the Irish sea. You ever see a Kelpie do a double take? Yeah, I like to pander. So,

why did you come here? You got a lead, you say, on the hammer? I heard about some thieves here. Following up a cold case. From 2010. Okay. Some people stole from the Dublin Zoo a penguin named Kelly.

Then they returned the penguin hours later. And they said it was just a prank. which I got to admit pretty funny I mean as Franks go so funny there's a penguin there one second but there's a theory that says the penguin they return

it wasn't the real Kelly it was an imposter penguin a impenguine and some people say the real Kelly is still alive now average lifespan of a penguin it ain't long so how could that be

Yeah, what are we talking? We're talking. We're talking like six years. It's sad. It's sad when a cute animal don't live long. So how could that be? These so-called pranksters have created a device

that will extend lifespan of any living thing. And part of the creation of this machine, they used a hammer. Now, I'm missing a hammer. Some criminals have a hammer? There are no coincidences, as some people say. You just said it.

You're one of those people. One of those people? You heard me. Why would... No from that noise. You're going to be all incredulous and acting like I'm dumb. You're not dumb. Oh, thank you.

I think this plan leaves much to be desired. What's my plan? Not your plan. The plan of these people to steal the penguin. they create this machine that extends the life of any living creature. And they say, let's start with a penguin. Because they got robbed, lifespan-wise.

Someone say they might want to turn it on themselves and become immortal gods. Yeah, well, you start with an animal. You don't go putting makeup on your face right away. You got to spray it on some monkeys and rabbits. That's anyone who gets any makeup from Sephora or anything. Yeah. From a monkey's face to your hands.

They'll use that as the slogan. This rabbit can't see no more, but everyone will see you. So you heard about this? Where did you get this tip? Oh, there's special crime websites where you can go. Crime.com? Yeah. It's crime.com.

That's my home page. I go to the message boards on crime. come see what everybody's talking about and sometimes I go international now and you you heard tell of this incredible sounding crime yeah and this machine you heard the rumors of this machine I heard the rumors of this machine okay and then you heard how did the hammer play into it they did someone ask a machine so any machine you assume has a hammer involved every machine that's ever been built is a hammer's part of it how else is it possible name one woman machine made without a hammer.

What do you count as a machine? Anything that's not a person, I guess. Does a job. A wheel? Yeah. You think there ain't no hammer made a wheel? How do you think those folks get in there? The wheel was the first invention, though. They didn't invent the hammer and then

use that to make the wheel. How do you think they made a wheel? Also, do you think they had the name wheel all ready to go? they named these things later. So, of course, they had a hammer. Hammer's first tool. Merchery was used for murder. Then, tools.

Hey, this worked really well. Yeah. Hey, I caved in that caveman skull over there. What if I made a wheel? So are you, are you interested in hammers because Ted is so interested in rocks? And I guess rocks were the original hammer? That's exactly right. It was my son who got me interested in hammers.

He made me see the wonder of them. If you can't, you need to see a hammer through a child's eyes. So you came over here in seven days. Yeah. And how is the hunt going? I got a lead. I got a name. A name. And this ought to narrow things down.

Okay. The name is Kevin Murphy. Now, once I find this Kevin Murphy, I'm on the road to get my hammer bat. Okay. Well, I mean, it's a pretty common name here. I mean, separately, yes, but together, uh-uh. You can have a million Kevin's a million Murphy's,

how many Kevin Murphy's could there possibly be? I mean, in Dublin alone, I don't know, I can look it up. Do you want me to look it up? Let's look it up. Oh, here we go. Get the chant going. I don't think it's possible to look this up. What does it say when you try to look it up?

Just in LinkedIn, Ireland, there's 200 plus Kevin Murphy profiles, and that's people who are on LinkedIn. Well, look, criminals ain't going to have no LinkedIn profile. This is getting easier and easier. There's a salon called Kevin Murphy. Well, I know he's not a building, so that's that one out. There's a Kevin Murphy headquartered in Melbourne, Australia. Probably Irish.

Probably Irish, yeah. What celebrities use Kevin Murphy products? I feel like I got onto some sort of like... Oh, no, you and MLM, my man? You got to start selling Kevin Murphy products to people. I believe that there are probably hundreds, if not thousands, just in Dublin alone. Oh, you believe that?

I do. Well, luckily, my, my procedure is not based on your personal beliefs. What is, so how are you going to narrow this down then? Are you going to look up the phone book? Are you just going to go out onto the street and shout Kevin Murphy? See who turns around? I'm not going to go out on the street

and shout Kevin Murphy. What I'm going to do is ask people, do you know Kevin Murphy? Is there anyone named Kevin Murphy here tonight? Well, there better not be. See? Not as common as I thought. That's a whole crowd of people. discounted. Hammer, here I...

What is the motive, though, for these criminals to come all the way out to Cumberbatch County, to steal your hammer? Did you hear the part about the machine? They come out to America because they need an untraceable hammer here in Ireland.

It's a non-registered hammer. So hammers here have serial numbers? I assume. And... In America, if they do, they file them off. Makes sense. Well, I wish you luck. How long do you...

Thank you. That's nice. You're nice, fella. We're friends, and we like each other. We're friends, we like each other. That's right. You know what? You're my best friend.

You married your best friend. Oh, dang. You got me. Linda. Linda Lee. Linda Lee. What's her last name again? Johnson. Johnson.

Easy to remember. L.L.J. We got everything in the house is monogrammed. Depending on who bought it? Well, or yeah, I guess so. I guess it's more who uses it. Who uses it the most? Yeah.

Okay. And is there ever a fight? Like, I want it to be monogrammed with me. We have like separate bath towels and things. I don't know what you think. You said everything. in the house. Yeah, I did. Lamps. Lamps are monogram. Pairs of scissors. Pairs of scissors monogram. Chopsticks. Yep.

One chopstick. E-L-C. One chopstick. L-L-J. What about your kids? They don't get in on this monogram stuff? They don't like it. They don't like it. They rebelled against us as teens by not monogramming things. As far as teens go, we got pretty lucky. Where's Miranda going to?

school. She's going to nursing school to become a doctor. Thank you. Thank you for applauding for my daughter. A lot of people just go to medical school, but she's going to nursing school, but she's taking medical courses online. And so when she graduates

nursing school, they'll say, congratulations, you're now a nurse, and she'll slap their hand away and say, uh-uh, I'm a doctor. And then she's going to put on one of them reflector things. Blind the people. Yeah. She's going to take off her Her graduation gal, she got a lab coat on underneath. Wow.

Yeah. This is a good plan. I love it. Film it, please. She thought of it all her own. Wow. So how long have you given yourself in Ireland to find this Kevin Murphy? It's got to be between 48 hours and seven years.

What's happening in seven years? I don't know. I'm just giving myself some time. Isn't your family going to miss you? I mean, do they know you're here? They'll come and visit. Look, as far as they know, I'm here on a very important fanboat conference. They get a lot of fanboats here in Ireland?

I have no idea. They used for swamps, mainly. Do you have some? Oh, I feel sorry for y'all. Fanboats, mankind's greatest invention. I hope Linda doesn't look up are there fan boats in Ireland. Why would she? She trusts me? She trusts you?

But she shouldn't because you're deceiving her. I'm not deceiving her to have an affair or nothing. That's the only reason that any spouse shouldn't be okay with being deceived? Deceived being deceived. I'm doing something in the name of justice. It's a noble calling that I have. So why not just tell her? I think she would try to talk me out of doing it.

Is that so wrong? I mean... Yes. Some would say that. you're on a fool's errands. Who? Not me, Eddie. That's right.

We're friends. Yeah. I hope nobody going to come in here and say that. Do you know what an avocation is and what a vocation is? And what a vocation is. A vocation is a job and an avocation is a calling. Is that?

No. It's the opposite. It's the opposite? An avocation is something you just do. A vocation is something you are called to do. Like I am called, too fat crime. So I can't quit doing it. And I can't let my emotions be manipulated

by someone that I love very much. Because what if big earl or little earl has gotten to her? Oh, that is a disgusting idea that I cannot allow my mind to ponder. I mean, hopefully, you know, maybe you'll let them in on your secret at some point. Would you be interested if one of your... I have already made a video. that is to be released upon the hour of my death, which I shall explain my nighttime activities

that I could not share with my beloved family. How long ago did you make the video? Earlier today. Because I saw they're releasing new iPhones with like even better quality. Oh, dang. When? In like a couple weeks.

Oh, man. Well, it's too late. It's already in a vault. I like the idea of just re-recording your video every time there's like an upgrade and quality of cameras. But don't you want the video to have a sort of dated quality?

You know what I mean? I guess, yeah. That's like a thing. People say that for Jan Z when they look at baby pictures of them, you can't tell that they's from a different time because they's born when the technology was too good. And it's kind of spooky.

Baby picture's supposed to look old. Right. And weird. You're supposed to laugh with baby pictures She's like, that's what pictures look like. I guess clothes have changed. Everyone was wearing low-rise jeans. Not babies.

I mean, I hope not. I would hate to see a baby a low-rise jeans. I'd sort of see a baby in a pair of jencos. Well, Eddie, I... You don't care about what Michelle does. Tell me about Michelle. Michelle's in high school.

She's in the drama department. She's 15? Yeah, that's right. Mm-hmm. She loves to act. She loves to act, really? What are some of her roles? Well, she's done written her own plays.

Really? Yeah. One acts? One acts. Adapted from TikToks. You have to start somewhere, I guess? That's right. Yeah.

So these are, are they confessional? Are they autobiographical? No, there's other people's TikToks. Like she did one act play of, who the fuck did I marry? the 50-hour TikTok story. You're not familiar? I don't know this one, but I... It was quite a sensation.

50 hours, people watch this? Yeah. It's almost as long as the Barbara Streisand biography. Or that Star Wars Cruise video? Now, okay, what was that? This lady went on a Star Wars cruise. It sucked. And then she talked for like four days about it.

Like she talked about how bad it was longer than the cruise was. It's hard to believe, but yeah, that's essentially what happened. Maybe she got that Mary Lou Henner disease where she can't forget nothing. She's given a minute-by-minute account of how much she hated it. At this point, if you're Mary Lou Hennar, don't you want the disease to be named after you? You know, like Lou Gehrig? Do you think he thought that was an honor? You think this man got A-L-S and where he said,

Lou, you're the most famous guy with it. We're going to name it after you And he was like, oh, thank you. So touched. While he's naming it, did you come over with a cure for it? We forgot. His last words were like, please, in the future, pour cold water on yourselves in my name.

Well, what about the youngest? The baby. The baby. Of course, that's... Bert. Bert. Bird. I don't know. He's just like toddling around.

Yeah. It's a great age. It's a great age. Just zooming around. Well, he got his own little personality. Really? He didn't take someone else's. You making fun of me. The fact that he's adopted, do you notice, is it nature versus nurture?

Do you notice him adopting your qualities? Or is he more like his parents, whomever they may be? Well, I know that, you know, we got him a little place. set that's like a bunch of tools and he likes to hide the hammer and then look for it. That's adorable. So he's good. We put a filter on all his baby photos so they look old. Good.

He'll appreciate that. We can get caught in that trap. Well, Eddie, I'm doing the wind up again. I hear it. I wish you luck in your quest here. Thanks, man. In Ireland. I hope to see out there on the streets.

We're here for another day or so. Maybe you could wrap this up by tomorrow. I mean, that would be nice. I did buy a house here. Just in case. And to have that hammer in your hands again, be able to swing it around. No.

What's the first thing you're going to do with it when you get it back? I'll probably look at it. In terms of you... You mean the very first thing? Because I'll tell you what, when I get that hammer back, it's been so long. and it's like a part of me is missing when I get that hammerback

I finally feel like one of the normal people the normal people J.W. Stillwater everyone J.W. I'm good about right here. Oh, that looks normal. That looks like a fellow

just casually reading the phone. But I also have to do this. Well, why do you have to? You got to make a face like a disgusted face. Well, we have a, are you a big television fan? I love it. Where do you find the time? You're out there at night? I don't really have the time, but I love the

concept of it. Do you have like one of those mini TVs with the antennas on the boat? That's right. Black and white. It doesn't work. Great. Love it. Well, we have a reality TV star with us. Uh-oh. Those people bring the drama. Well, we'll see exactly what happens. She is on a reality TV show, or at least she was, for a little while. She also...

Are you okay? Trying to remember exactly what her details are. She worked at some bridal store. I can't remember what... Please welcome Kayla Dickie, everyone. Kayla Dickie. Kayla Dickie. How are you?

I'm pretty bad. I'm so sorry It's fine It's all good How are you? I'm good This is J.W. Stillwater Hey

Hey! Hey! How are you doing? Yeah, like I said I'm pretty bad. I'm sorry. It's all good. Is there anything I can do to help you? Yeah, but I'm sure we'll get into that.

I'm gonna move you back a little bit. I love when a man moves me around. Kayla, it's so good to see you. Are you sure this is okay? You don't want to move me one more time? Go ahead. Take me for a spin. Take me out there. You want to get into the pit? Look at this little hole right here. Why is that there?

That's what you said. That's what I said, Scott. I heard you. That is what she said. My God. It's so good to see you. I love talking about holes with you. I know it's no longer Tiny Dick Month. You must be. I know. I'm so sad.

When was it? It was the end of, it was like July. July 26. August 26? Through August 26. Yeah. And it was such a good small dick month, wasn't it? Scott.

How did you celebrate privately? With my family and my clergy person? It's so special. Yeah. I'm so happy for you. So for those of you who don't know Kayla, Kayla, you were on a reality TV show

but your saga started earlier than that. Yeah. You worked at... David's Bridal. David's Bride. I keep wanting to say David Busters. I don't think they have either of those here.

They don't have Dave or Busters? Could you explain? Could you explain Dave and Busters to them, though? I'd like to see that. Yeah, it's an awesome thing where adults go to basically a little kid arcade and pay adult prices. And get wasted. Yeah, they get drunk and play Asteroids or some shit.

It sounds more fun than it is the way I just described it. Imagine hell, and then that's David Buster. Anyway, Scott. So you worked at David's bridle. I worked at David's bridle. Long story short, you had a boss? No, you had a, the mayor, Judweeby. Keep telling my story.

I'm just trying to make it as short as possible. You had a boss. No. You. This is going to take longer, I think. The mayor of the town, Judd Weeby. Yeah. He set a fire.

Yeah. He, it burned the entire city down. Yeah. He ran off into the woods. Yeah. Started posing as a bear. Lived as a bear. Yeah.

Dressed as a bear in a bear costume. Yeah. You and all of his girlfriends because he had several girlfriends. Multiple. Yeah. He was fucking all of us. Would go out there in the woods and shout, Jud, Jud, Jud.

We'd be like, Jud, Jud, Jud. Yeah. So then they named the trail that we would run up, the name Jud Weeby. And then when he came back into town and I saw him and he was a bear eating out of my trash and I was like, Judd? And it was Judd. And then we got married and we lived on a compound with all me and my girls. And then I ran away from the compound because I heard about a new truck. Basically, I love guys with big, big, bang, bang,

trucks and small dicks. And these usually go hand in hand. They always go hand in hand, Scott. Yeah, you just cannot find a big truck without a small dick out there. So, yeah, then obviously, I had to flee for a bit. Obviously, you had to flee. That goes without saying. I was on a couple of reality shows, namely Love is Truck and the Truckerette. And then, obviously, I had to be single for Small Dick Month, so I'm always single for small Dick months.

I'm so sorry. What was it concept behind? Love is truck? I'm so glad you asked. I feel like the trucker at, I can fill in the gaps. But Love His Truck I'm having trouble with it. In Love His Truck, they taped our eyeballs shut. And we were all in this cab of a truck.

And I had to talk to this guy and figure out how big his truck was and how small his dick was. Totally blind without mine eyes. That's actually what I was thinking. So did you have to figure it out through conversation? Or could you use your hands? Well, yeah, of course I tried to use my hands, but I was all tied up. Oh, you were tied up? Yeah, they tied us up, too.

Chicken style. Chicken style. My legs were like this. Oh, like roasted chicken style. Wow. Yeah, chicken style. Chicken style. Also my favorite sex position.

Anyway, Scott. So anyway, so you're not on the reality shows anymore. Small Dick Month is over. It was such an awesome small dick month. Such tiny dicks. Yeah. Anyone own a truck out here? Well, that's what I wanted to get into, Scott.

Okay, so. What happened? What's wrong, Kayla? Hey, are you okay? Is y'all safe? So you know that right after Small Dick month is Boondock Saints Month. Isn't there... There's like some overlap or there's...

Yeah, there's slight overlap. So like three days where they're both happening at once. Yeah, which are the best three days in my whole life. Yeah. So that it starts on the 23rd. So August 23rd through September 23rd. Right. It's Boondock Saints month.

And this Boondock Saints month, I saved and I saved and I saved. And I came to Ireland to celebrate Boondock Saints 2, which takes place in Ireland. And there is a Boondock Saints too? Oh, there's a Boondock Saints. Came out in 2009. I haven't even seen one. To be honest, Scott, I haven't even seen them either. Really?

Yeah, I've just had them explain to me by guys. That sounds so fun. It's so fun. And every time I kind of glaze over. in blackout, so I don't even know the plot. But I love Boonegg's Saints. Yeah. So anyway, I came to Ireland thinking, there's got to be a lot of small dicks here.

Right? Stance to reason. Sure. Some right here in the audience. Be breath. Finally. God. Okay.

So when I arrived, I was like looking for big trucks because I, that's how I usually find small dick. Sure. Yeah. So I'm looking around, looking, looking, looking. I went down O'Flinanagan Street. Nothing. I went down Molligulligans.

Nothing. Nothing. I went down, oh, Sullivan Riley, Tinsberg. Sonovan. Nothing. So then I was like, Okay, I can't find any big trucks. Maybe I should just go to the places in the U.S. where I find big trucks.

So I tried to find a Walmart parking lot. No. No. I tried to find a January 6th barbecue. No. Are these barbecues occurring on January 6th or? Yeah, these are celebratory barbecues. You've never been to one?

But they're happening on any day, not just January 6th. Oh, yeah. People celebrate year round. You got to keep it in your heart all the year long. Wait a minute. Were you there on January 6th? I don't know how to build a gallows. But do you know how to shit on a desk?

Don't we all? So I couldn't find any big trucks. What is going on? I was so stressed. So I thought, okay, I'll just look for where I know I find small decks. So I went to find a men's rights conference. Nothing. I tried to find a gun store.

Not a single gun store. No gun stores? I tried to find... What kind of backwater country is this? That's what I'm saying. I tried to find a Jordan Peterson concert. Concert? Yeah, he sings.

I even looked for don't tread on me flag, Scott. Not a single one. Look how silent everyone won. didn't see anything. And then I saw in the distance, comedy bang, bang, bang. Scott will know, that's a small dick man. Scott is king of small dick men.

So, I came to the show, and now I'm here, and I'm looking for help finding small dick men and big, truck, truck. If you had to choose one or the other, which would you prefer? This is so tough because I think if we were in the U.S., I would say big truck.

But because I'm over here and I've seen the big trucks here, they don't have those child-bearing hips. They don't have those 18-foot-tall wheels. They don't take over. The streets are too narrow here. It's disgusting. It only takes one step

to get in a truck here. Yeah, you should have to be struggling. It should be like you're climbing up the side of a mountain to get up that thing. I need someone to be like belay on and I'm like belay. That's a climbing reference. Yes.

Somebody coaches you while you climb? Yeah, somebody, well someone has the rope tied to their belt. And go belay and you go play on. What? It's about the tautness of the rope. Have you ever been to Colorado? No. Billet is normally I think the way you're thinking of it is

Billet that order like cancel that order No I was thinking like people dancing around Oh, ballet What am I saying? Why don't they just say, you good with that rope? What are y'all doing? Good? Don't let that rope's up now. Well, I don't know whether they have these types of big truck trucks here even in Ireland itself.

Maybe up in the country? Does anyone here own a big truck? Anyone? Does anyone even own, like, I don't know, a really cool car, like a PT cruiser or a cyber truck here? Have they shipped the cyber trucks out here yet? No. No?

I looked it up. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You must be tearing your hair out. Guys, can I just talk about them for a second? They look so cool. the way they the way they're so sharp

the way they look like a little kid's toy so hot so I've decided to just be okay finding a small dick man without a bang bang chunk so how do you want to do this you want to uh well so I guess I just like to ask

A couple of the people in the audience here. She's stepping into the hole. Hey, sir, how are you? Good, how are you? So good. Now that I'm out in the audience. Do you have a small dick? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Wow. Wow. That was so easy. as a small dick man where do the small dick men in town hang out I actually thought that's what this was well you're right about that

any podcast has a lot of small dick but where do you think that like the Irish equivalent of I don't know a Jordan Peterson concert is probably a Jordan Peterson concerts. Does he make it out here?

He does. A lot? Really? You've been? No. Damn. That's such a bummer. I got excited for a minute there, Scott.

Do you know where all the small dick guys hang out? Because I know this queen here is looking for one. Are you down with small dicks as well? Love them. Love them. Can't get enough. Awesome. Where do you find them in town?

The streets. Out in these streets. It is like the U.S. Wow. Can I ask you, do guys do this awesome thing that they do in the U.S. where they're like, damn, girl, you look so sexy, you're asking for it. I do that to them.

Okay, good, good. Wow. Hi, sir, how are you? Do you have a small dick? Yes. Oh my God, they're all here, Scott. It's crazy. Wow.

Can you just fill me in? Where do you go? Where do you hang out? Coppers. Coppers? What is copper? It's kind of like a nightclub, I guess. Like a disco taca?

Yeah, something like that. Well, don't day a star. What kind of music do they play there? Bad music? Like what? Whoa. Whoa. Who the fuck just said that? Who said that? I'm sorry, Scott. I have to.

I just have a feeling this guy has a big dick. Where are you? Oh, my. He turned on his flashlight to better direct you. What did you just say? It wasn't. It was the guy beside me. This little bitch.

What did you just say? I said Sabrina Carpenter. Is what? Bad music? Terrible. You can't even sing along to it at all. Scott, did you just hear that? Anyone can sing along to Sabrina Carpenter.

Whoa. This guy definitely has a huge cock. Boo. Get out of here, you bitch. Big Dicked monster. Okay, so if Sabrina Carpenter's bad music, what is good music? You big dick guy.

I'm a big fan of this very hot Australian girl called Lily Sullivan. She does a very good cover of Sabrina Carpenter's. I don't think really good specifics that are incorrect. But I thought girl sounds really hot.

But we don't have to talk about that right now. No. Scott, we just need to prove him wrong about that, I think. Us small dick, Kings. Do you think that Miasrezzo is a bad song? I think it's a fine song. I don't know what any of the words are, but... I thought you did.

Everybody knows the words to Miaspresso. It's one of the best songs in the universe. It's written so everybody can sing alone. J.W., you know me espresso? Of course I do. Of course he does. I got a radio on my fan boat. And that works.

It works like a charm. I guess we just have to prove that big dick king wrong, don't we? Everyone in the audience. You guys know all the words, right? Okay, hit it. Because I'm a singer. End. It's a great sound.

It's a bob. It's a bangor. It's laps. It's so good. It's so good. And only people with giant dicks wouldn't like it. So true. It's really nice to see you out of your shell again.

Kayla, can I ask you a question? Yeah. In addition to tiny dicks and big, big, big, big trucks. Yeah. What else do you like? Oh, God. No one's ever asked me that before. I like.

Egg bites at Starbucks. They don't have those here. They don't have egg bites? I know they got Starbucks. Well, they have egg bites, but it comes in a different kind of box, and it's served, like, out front and cold. And then they heat it up for you. It's not the same, Scott.

Boo. So sorry. Like, what else do I like? H&M. I like. I mean, these aren't, like, hobbies. these are more things that you buy or stores that you go to. Yeah, exactly.

That's what I mean, my hobbies. I like Claire's. Like, oh, Forever 21. Zara. Listen to that. Listen to the crowd. Yeah, I mean, what else is there? But consumerism, Scott.

I mean, do you like to spend your own money on this? Are you trying to look for a man who is not only a small dick king with a big, big truck, but also spends money on you? Absolutely, Scott. I love a sugar daddy. Don't be a salt daddy.

What's assault daddy? When they don't pay your allowance. Will they pay for other stuff but just not the allowance? Is that assault daddy? No. Assault daddy, well, he might buy you dinner or something like that, which is fine.

You're like, okay, I guess I'll just sit here while you eat your big steak and I also eat mine. So that's just a normal human interaction. But then when you're like, okay, it's time for me to go to, you know, Zara and go buy like a pair of awesome, like, new jeans. And he's like, oh, actually. I'm like, don't be a salt daddy. Cart.

That's my ex-boyfriend's name. Oh. We haven't talked about Cart in a long time. Cart's dead. What? How did Cart die? Cart died in a mysterious bear attack. Wow.

It doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Yeah, I was just out on a date with Cart. We had rekindled things. And then all of a sudden, this bear came out of a trash can and ripped his head off. Came out of a trash? Yeah. And the bear went, surprise.

Really? Yeah, ripped his head, clean off. Wow. And then part of me was like, was that, Judd? Oh, you think so. Yeah. And then I had another boyfriend, Shart. Oh, right.

Remember Shart? Yeah, I remember Shart. Yeah. So I was with Shart. We were in his car watching Boondock Saints. And all of a sudden, he rolled down his window to throw out his big joint. He only smoked a little bit. And then his head got clear ripped off by a bear.

By a bear. In a mysterious bear attack, Scott. Isn't that so weird? That's so weird. Did the second bear say any English words? Yeah, he said, Hachimachi. And then my other boyfriend,

Quif. Yeah, he died too. Wow. Yeah, but he just died because he got a hit by a truck. Oh. His own. His own? Wow.

You hate to see it. You really do. So sorry, but you're in mourning, sort of. Well, I've been in morning. Yeah, I've been in and out of morning. for years now. Yeah. But I'm doing okay.

You know, to be able to speak at their funerals was so important to me. And I just talked about how big. Sorry. It's okay. Take your time. Yeah. And a tiny. Yeah.

I'm sure their families appreciated that. Kayla Dickie, everyone. Kayla Dickie. Kayla Dickie. Dickie. We have a government employee coming to the stage now, a U.S. government employee. Oh, my gosh. Are there national parks in Colorado where you're from?

Yeah, there is. Really? Okay. Well, maybe our next guest has visited them. Please welcome Marjorie Kershaw, everyone. Marjorie Kershaw. I did not. Oh.

I'm quite all right. Are you sure? I don't know. Somebody passed forward a lozange. If anybody has a lozange or a throat. spray. There's a glass of water right there at your feet. That's how I got this way.

Actually, I drank the entire glass. This way, so it's like a permanent condition? Yes. Well, we love you no matter what, Scott. Thank you so much. Even if this is the new Scott. Even if this is how you are forevermore. That's so sweet of you.

Thank you so much. Marjorie, it's great to see you. You are... Are you a park ranger? Yes, you're a park ranger. That's right. I work for the U.S. National Park services. I'm a parker. Thank you so much. America's best idea.

Some would say sometimes our only good one. And, but I'm doing, I'm on a really exciting exchange right now, Scott. I'm actually working in a national park here in Ireland. Wow. Yeah, I know. It's pretty exciting stuff. Whoa. Yeah, I know. Very excited. And I definitely got my... Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Can you believe it? I can't. Do you want to guess which one, Scott?

I know you know all six. I couldn't pick a favorite. Okay. J.W., you want to guess I know you know all six. Are you working as a ranger at Bali Nature? No, good guess not an official park. Oh, dang, I got swindled.

No, I know. It's so true. I know what happened to you. Did you invest? I went to a place on the only. was a national park. You know what? It can happen because sometimes

we have protected areas. We have levels of high beauty. We have, but only six national parks. Do you want to guess which one? I know you know all six. Yeah, I guess, oh, Malagalligans. Okay, again, yeah, that one's not

an official park, but a really good guess. Does anyone want to guess which one I know you know all six? Yeah, you got a guess there? Do you know what? I wanted Connemara. That was my first choice, obviously, because of the bog,

Scott. That's music. Yeah. Music to your ears, I think. Oh, man, I'd load a fan boat over a bog. Oh, you know, I was hoping for Connemara it was my number one choice because do you know about the bog, Scott? I don't know really.

Well, the bogs. They are, well, they're, they cut down them bunch of trees so that they could farm, and then those, then they got too wet, much too wet. And now there's old, old trees all the way down. And it compressed delicate plant matter over time creating. Say it with me. That's right.

One of the most important parts about living in Ireland is Pete, Scott. Pete's. Yeah, Pete, you know about Pete, Ma, Scott? I know about Pete. I've heard of Pete's Dragon. Well, let's... Here's what I'll say about Pete. it bears repeating.

Goodbye. So you didn't get that one. You had to go to your safety park? Well, does anyone else want to guess? I know you know all six. Glenway. What she got here? Glenvee.

No, up in the north. Glenvee, beautiful Glenvee. Didn't get Glenvee either, but gorgeous. Anybody else want to guess? What else? Killarney. No, beautiful Killarney with its mountains. You're the Ring of Carrie Scott.

It's one of my favorite ones, though. Okay, we have three down, three to go. Yes. Anyone else have a guest? What's that? Phoenix Park. Not an official one. Not an official one.

It's okay. No, it's all right. We're all here to learn. And score her out. But I did hear it. I heard it. God. The Burren.

Well, the Burren refers to the area. Burren is the name of the park. And it's in, as you know, County Clare. Of course. Wait, what's the other parks? What's the remaining ones? Oh, we missed, we missed a wild neffin. Nelfin.

Nephyn. Which, as we know, is in County Mayo. And then we also missed, just down the road, the Wiclo's. Where 90% of Guinness's water comes from. Oh, good for that. The Wiclo Mountains. Where's other 10% come from? The Fossets?

Boy, what a mystery. I have no idea. They just turn the hose on? Do you know what? It could be the Holy Spirit, but I won't talk about that because I believe in a separation of church and state. That's right. That's one thing about Marjorie.

You're very, very religious. Yes, I'm a devout Methodist, but I believe in the, but as a federal employee, I believe in the strict separation of powers, Scott. How's this country feel about that? Going or long tortured history? I'm learning, Scott. only even over here two months. Unfortunately, that means that the park ranger I swapped with is in my station.

And as you know, the last place. Yeah, where have you been? The last park I was stationed at was Cuyahoga, which is just more like a collection of bike trails in Ohio. Yeah. So not a great place for Funula McCabe. But I am hoping she's having a nice time. We've been writing some fun letters. Is that part of the swap?

You have to write letters to each other? No, we don't have to. We just chose you because, um, We were, you know, just giving each other guidance. Well, exactly, yeah. You're the only two people who know what you're going through. That's right. It's like why Superman dates Wonder Woman and all that kind of stuff.

Is that true? I don't know. I thought he dates Lois Lane. She's out. She's out. Lane's out? Oh, no, break and shoes. Lanes out, brains out.

Oh, wow. I did not, I did not know that. Is that how you feel, J.W. You date, do you only date other vigilante? No, I got a wife. Oh, right. Did she ever mention wanting to be a vigilante when you started dating her? You know what?

She did on her first date. Here's a question that I have for you. Do you think she's out there doing the same thing? At night? Linda? I doubt it. What's your bedtime routine for like going to sleep supposedly and then sneaking out? We turn out the lights.

I quietly slip out of the bed. I have to push the fan boat quite a distance before I started up. Sometimes I do see a mysterious figure across the swamp doing the exact same thing. Interesting. Sounds interesting.

Thank you. Kind of have to idle your boat out. That's right. Yeah. Wow. Would you like to know about the burns, Scott? I would love to know about the burns. I don't know anything about.

Well, the park, the burn. So the Burin is the area. The Burin is the area. The Burrins is... No, just Burrin is the park. Okay. Okay. And it's a collection of rocks.

But get this. Called Ted. His son. Loves rocks? Geologist. Oh. He's a real rock nut. Oh, well, he would love burying.

Absolutely. Because guess what? The rocks, they have plants. Whoa. Plants can grow out of them, and they're real old, and I'm new still to the actual posting. But you know what I find fascinating about being there is though there's a park that's protected, that's, you know, a national park, but it's surrounded by privately owned farmland. So when you're going there, you might have to just hopefully not go through someone's backyard.

And what if you do? Are they able to shoot you on site like they can in the States? They better. No, but I do find that it's sort of tricky because sometimes I get folks who maybe they stopped along the road and they ask for directions and then they never make. make it to the park. Whoa. Yeah. Bear attack style. Oh, you got to be careful about that, but not here.

No, no large mammals for 500 years. Not since large-scale farming took over, thus giving us the bogs. Do you know what else is in the bogs? Oh, if only I was at Konamara. In the bogs, you can find full mummies. I've only seen half mummies. You can see full. Full, full mummies.

They get preserved under that very specific plant matter and you can pull up whole humans and whole big logs. Now, these is obviously all murders, right? No, not necessarily. Sometimes people couldn't cross the bogs. They would start to sink like that scene in a never-ending story. You'd have to leave it. With the horse or whatever it was?

Yeah, that's how I want to go. Into a bog? Yeah. Well, if that's what you want, you could be mummified. for all time and then you could be brought up and looked at at a museum, which would be pretty... I would love that by guys. Yeah.

Sure. You could be like that... Sure. Guys and gals could stare at your little tiny, tiny, tiny, mummy body. We don't stay the same size when we're mummy, Scott. Really? No, we lose...

No deal. I know. I know. It's disappointing. But some of them still have hair and teeth. Yay. Neat, right? Gives it a sort of mystique, that whole area, Scott.

You know, inspired Seamus Haney. Did it now. Absolutely. You know the poet? Sure. Love his stuff. Yeah, he has a poem called Bogland about the Boggs. Oh, Scott recited.

You know it. Bogland. Boglands. Perfect. Yep. No, but the Burns cool. because it's big, big rocks, and, you know, I'm cool. Are they edible?

The rocks? Yeah. I suppose if you ground them up enough and you just wanted some sand in your... This is what I'm saying. You never said that. This guy acted like you give you a rock like an apple. No, no, not like an apple, Scott. I have to dissuade you as an official park ranger.

Don't eat a full rock like an apple and look out for bees. Does Ted have to look out for bees? Everyone should look at look out for bees. And I'm sorry to hear that someone you knew died in a bear attack? Yeah, multiple guys. Oh my gosh, that is horrifying, yeah. Yeah. Gotta be careful out there.

Bear safety is very important, though I've never been fortunate enough to be stationed in a park with any bears. Yeah, I'm so sorry. What is your dream park that you want to be stationed at? You know, Scott. Yosemite. Yosemite. The show.

The show, the big time. Yeah. where we all hope to end up one day where John Muir said the mountains are calling and so I must go the big big rock the guy climbed with no rope so he never said belay belay on

these are all references earlier in the show you weren't out here you know Marjorie you know belay on just what you say when rock climbing exactly sure J.W, you gotta go say belay to Ted.

He'll know exactly what you're talking about. I will never say that to my son. But he loves rocks so much. I hope he loves his father more. Yeah, that's fair. We should love our parents more than rocks. Unless our parents are terrible. Well...

That can happen. So how long are you stationed here for? Well, Funula has our... Nula has already written that she'd like to come back. I mean, you were there for years. Years, yeah, I was there for two years, yeah. And it was okay. It wasn't the worst park I'd ever been at.

Oh, you know what? I actually was near Bears. That's right, when I was in the gates of the Arctic. We had big bears there. Thank you. Shout out to the Arctic. Shout out to the least visited park in the U.S. Yeah, so I probably have about a month more,

and then I got to switch back. And then I'm hoping to put in another transatlac. for request so I don't have to stay at Cuyahoga and maybe go to the show. Yeah. Probably not though, Scott. Probably not. But Marjorie, have you ever thought about putting down roots metaphorically or literally? Oh, I don't know about that, Scott.

Have you ever thought about just being in one place? One place and meeting someone and who happens to live wherever that place is? I thought that this farmer down the road was maybe asking me out on a date because when I asked him for directions we talked for two hours. He ended up telling me about a cross from 1318 I could look at if I wanted to

that it was a fair cross, not the best cross that they had in the county, but a pretty decent cross and certainly better than any ones they have up the road. Told me about how his brother-in-law was coming in from Donnie Gall and how he's always going on and on

about how their cliffs are bare than the cliffs of Moore. The sleeve leave cliffs. Then he showed me a photo. They're not as sheer as the cliffs of Moore. So it does sort of beg the question, aren't these just big hills that meet the sea? And I thought, boy, this guy must really like me. You know, we've been talking and talking for going on to two hours.

At what point did you realize that there was nothing going on there? When he walked back to his house and kissed his word. wife. It was sweet, really. No, I was happy for them, but I was like, what's happening here? His sparkling eyes are, oh my absolutely, and they're ruggedly

handsome over here. Dicks of all sizes. Sorry, Kayla. It's okay. I can hear about it. I just don't like to look at him. Sure. So it's hard, you know, but, you know, I have to go where the park system wants me to go, Scott, and I'd have to meet

a fellow traveler. Of course. I'd have to meet someone who's willing to live that wild life with me. I just think that you know, like when you were working in the St. Louis Arches. Yeah. You know, like did anyone come on the elevator and Yeah, mostly school groups

Scott and people who get turned around and then one time I had a guy... Turned around. Where am I? Yeah. They go, I don't want to be here. This is terrible. One time, Scott, I did have a guy who I thought we were really connecting, but it turned out

he was just having crippling vertigo. Because it's a very weird elevator. Yeah, it's an elevator. It does the full arch? Yeah, you turn. And you do the second half upside down? Yeah, you know, and I got used to it. I got so used to it.

Like a bat in a cave, I was, Scott. Yeah. But this one fella, he was on the ground and he was reaching out for me, and he said, please, your face is a holy visage or something. I think he was just going through something. He might have been on Shrooms. I just wonder if you're moving around so much in order to escape.

Whoa, Scott. I don't know if I've ever begged that question of myself. We know this guy who's searching for his lost dogs. And he had a similar problem. He was out there going from town to town looking for his dogs. And was he a ghost in the end? I don't think so, no. Because he was missing for like six years and his family kind of didn't look for him anymore.

Oh, so you listened. Yeah. Oh, Scott, huge fan. Oh, yeah, of course. Always nice to meet a fan. Bit of a piss pig. I don't know what that means. I've never heard that before.

Only a bit. That's disgusting. Sorry, J.W. I don't know what they're. Filth. I wasn't there for the... They voted for it. I wasn't there for the vote.

They voted for it? Disgusting. 90% of people voted for piss pig. We don't know where the other 10% comes from. Just like the water from the Wicklows. Yeah. So only another month here. Yeah, and then I got to go back to Ohio

and put in their request to go somewhere else. But if anyone wants to come see me in Burren... Where can they find you there? One in around saying, this rock's part of the park, that one's not. That's the Casey's land. This one, this is part of the park. Careful where you walk.

Look out for bees. Don't eat that rock. I haven't had to say that, but I'll add that to the list. Don't eat... Yeah, that'll work. You have to be able to have your voice carry across the, you know, vast landscapes over here, Scott. You know, they filmed Game of Thrones over here. Really?

Dun, done, da, da, da, da, da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. They indicted me. Where were you going to say, Kayla? Oh, I was going to say, Marjorie. I don't know if you want to go out or whatever and hit the town a couple of gals because I just heard about this awesome, awesome club. It's called... Coppers.

Oh, my, coppers. Isn't that place kind of trash? My girl, I would love to go out with you because, you know, I don't get to come to... This is my first time to Dublin, besides when I flew in. And so this would be exciting to go out, but I think we need to aim higher than coppers.

Higher than coppers. Yeah, maybe we need to go to, like... Maybe we need to go to, like, where's that? No, I'm saying there's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to... You know what? You know why? Because everyone we need is right here.

That's right. Anyone cool is in this room. The coolest people in Ireland are currently in this room. Other than that guy with a huge dick who hates Sabrina Carpenter. Oh, the whole album,

Even taste? Even, please, please, please. Oh, he's awful quiet now. So your silence is Diffinian. He's long gone. He's long gone. He's long gone. He's at coppers. Well, Marjorie, it's so great to have you here in the country.

I'm so happy to be here. It's a beautiful country, Scott. Yeah, and you know so much about it. Yeah, I could probably tell you more. That's all right. Marjorie Gershaw. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Marjorie. Thank you. Should I go back to the park now?

Because I was asking a guy how to get back to the park, and he said, all right, what you want to do is you want to go down two lanes, not three. You want to go down two lanes, not three, turn left. You know, and then it took me a while. That's it. Never mind. I just was wondering if I should get going already. No, no, no.

I mean, we are wrapping up the show. Yeah, that's what I was asking. I didn't know if I needed to get a jump start because. No. Just in case. Just in case to beat the crowd, beat traffic. No, just because the directions I got to get back to the train station, the guy took like two hours.

Explain it to me. Scott. I'm sorry, I'm talking to Marjorie. There's a guy. There's a guy, Scott. Should I? Do you want this one? Sir?

Hi. Sir? Sir, what are you? Scott, he has a pillow and a comforter. Sir, we're in the middle of a show, sir. That's not a mummy, is it? No, he'd be much smaller. Wow.

Scott, he's setting up his bed. Scott making a little bed on the floor. He's brought out a comforter and a pillow. Sir, are you trying to sleep on the... He's got a microphone. I am the king. I am the king. I am the king.

Why do you walk away from his bed? Sir, we're in the middle of a show here. Hey, hey, I think this is... We're all in the middle of a show. Scott, who is that? Now he got two soda pops. Some cups. Everybody knows it's time to do the Pepsi challenge.

He's making up a song for the Pepsi Challenge. How dare he. Never had before. The Pepsi Challenge where you trip. You do the Pepsi Challenge before you fall, go to sleep. Oh, I hope he brushes his teeth after. What's the other soda he got? I think he's got a Coca-Cola classic.

I'm sorry, yeah. Can you see us? Yeah, no. I swear. I am sorry. And where, is this a... This is, we're in the... We're in Singapore.

No, we're in Dublin, Ireland. This is not Singapore? No. Did you get off the plane? I got off the plane in Paris. and I took a very weird boat ride. Oh my gosh. Sir, you're...

This sucks. Yeah. No, I'm supposed to be... I'm supposed to be in Singapore. I'm supposed to be in Singapore for a very important pitch meeting. Okay. I think you missed it. I... Oh, shit. When were you supposed to be there? Do you remember, was it during Tiny Dick Month or Bundock Saints Month?

It's... I think Tiny Dick... Tiny Dick Month... That's ringing a bell? I was supposed to be there in 20 minutes. And this is going to, this is going to be a problem. This is going to be a problem for sure. I'm sorry to interrupt your show.

That's okay. No, we're in the middle of the show, but what's your name, sir? What is my name? Sure. I'm Chet brothers. Chet brothers. Hi. Yeah, very nice to meet you.

Hi, Chad. Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm getting fired today for sure. Yeah, that's okay. This boat ride was crazy. I took the weirdest. boat ride from Paris. What made it weird? A lot of

weird things happening on it. Why are you? Why do you give a shit? Like, honestly, I can't I need to get out of here. Okay. So I'll get my stuff and I will get out of your way. I think, yeah. I was a sleepwalking? Yeah. Okay. All right. I had...

Sleepwalking, not a sleepwalking. Last thing I knew, I had Tylen LPM pudding in France. Oh, that's where they make it the best. And the butter's different? Yeah.

Who was making me hungry? Oh, he's sleeping. Oh, no. You fell asleep again. Do you know what? You're just staying in there like a horse. Do you know what? I think, I think it might be,

you might be able to treat a sleepwalking person the same way you can approach certain bear safeties, which might help. I could do that. I know a lot of that training. I'm big. Try to be bigger than that. Get big and walk backwards and say,

Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear.

Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, how. Hey, Chet, are you with us? Yeah.

Okay. All right. It worked. Wow. I need to be in, I need to be in Singapore. I'm pitching a very important product in 20 minutes. Can you zoom in or? Can I zoom in?

Zoom in? I don't mean can you get there quick? I just, I mean, can you call in? Can you conference call? I can try. I can call my assistant and see if they can help me. I'm so sorry. I feel like an asshole. What time is it in Singapore?

You know what time. Come on, Scott. Come on, Scott. Come on. Hold on a second. Let me see. Hello. Barbara. What? Barbara, I'm trying, I woke up in Dublin. I don't know how I got here from Paris.

Where? In Dublin. Dublin, Ireland? No, Dublin, California. Yes. Dublin Ireland. There's more than one Dublin, asshole. Barbara, how do I get to Singapore?

I need to be there in 20 minutes. I don't know. Flap your fucking wins. Okay, she's not going to help. help me. She's not going to help me. She has had it with you. She's happened to you a lot. She's the one who came up with the idea for the product

we're pitching. What are you pitching? Non-compression socks. What do they do? They're the opposite of compression socks. So they make everything looser? They're like a dress. They're like a dress, like a floppy summer dress for your foot.

Don't those fall off? What's that? Don't they fall off? Yeah, that's the point. That's the point. They come in packs of so many. That's a point. All right.

You guys go in with your show. I will figure out a way to get to Singapore. I'm just going to quickly get an airline ticket. Barbara. What? Why are you giving me attitude? I'd pay you. Okay, not enough.

First of all. What is your problem? I'm trying, can you get me a first-class ticket to Singapore out of Dublin in the next 20 minutes? There's no first-class tickets out of Dublin. Those people wouldn't know first class. Are you kidding me? No, can you please? I got to get the non-compression socks.

They want to hear the pitch. You're going forward with that one? Barbara, what do you do? Out of all of your cockamamie ideas. What? What am I doing? I was just in my kid's show. You were in your what?

My kid had a play tonight. And you were in it? No, I was in the audience. What part did you? You didn't tell me this, dear. What part were you in the kid's show? What's the play? It was the first act of our town.

They kept everything dark out. Barbara, go back to the play. No. It's all over. Now, what do you need? A first class ticket? Okay, Barbara. Check them.

What did you? Okay. This is... I'd love to talk to Barbara sometime. Hey, you know what? You could try Ryanair. It's only 10 euro for the ticket. But then if you actually want to get on the plane,

it's a thousand euro. He's asleep again. He's asleep again. He's going back to the Pepsi Challenge. Taking the cap off. He's opening the Pepsi. Wow. Are we supposed to know which one he's bored?

That's the Pepsi. pouring the Pepsi into one cup. If he's going to give it to us, we're going to know which one's wit. I feel like he's taking it himself. He brought out a bunch of cups, though. It's a good point. He's doing a switch-around. He's doing the chalice in the palace and the flag and with the dragon.

And now he's swapping the Coke and the Pepsi bottles themselves. Now he's drinking one. Man, I wish I kept track. Oh, I'm going to be able to tell him. I don't think anyone's going to know if he's right or wrong. We should wake him and have him start again, you know? Yeah. This time we got to follow one of them cups.

Yeah. He's nodding like he got it right. He's got it this time. That's the one. You know, he's behaving. The caffeine might wake him up. Oh, yeah. He's behaving a little bit more like if you encountered a grizzly bear in the wild.

Now, Scott, in that situation, you want to just protect your vital organs. Oh, what should I consider? vital. Yeah, they eat those first. A lot of guys have told me about it. Like, if you protect your vital organs, are they like, that's too much of a hassle. That's right. That's right.

Okay, he's curling, he put the blankie on. Oh, he's really getting settled in there. Night night. Nine night. He's picked up the mic. Everybody takes some Pepsi challenge. He's singing the made-up song again. It's weird.

I kind of want to do the challenge now. No, me too. Should we do the challenge while he's asleep? It's kind of driving me crazy. Okay, we have four cups. That's one for you. We're going to have to... Just pour one.

How's this going to work? One at a time. We'll close our eyes and you pour one at a time. Oh, God. Oh, no, shit. Oh, wait. Wake up, Bear. Wake up Bear.

Oh, no. Now he's going to pour... Chet. Okay. I think Chet's... Okay. Now in charge of the Pepsi challenge. We have to close our eyes.

All right. You know, like they say at Cooper's, eyes closed, Cups out. Does he trust that he's not going to pour it all over us? I guess I trust, Chet. Okay. I'm kind of just looking down until he gets close. I don't know why people are left.

Okay. He made it into my cup. That crowd has reacted. Okay. Okay. Are we trying it? Can we open? Okay.

So we're going to try this. Slantia. Yeah. Do I say what it is? No, I, the true pepess is. You say what you like. The rules are as follows. Wait, why are you putting the caps back on?

We've only tried one. Yeah, we've only tried one. We need to try the other one. That's right. All right. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, hey, Chet. Chet?

It's time to decide what you had. Oh, he's doing it. You do it. I thought he was awake. He's not. I thought so, too. He's doing a sassaddle dance. Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge.

Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge. Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge. Before you go to bed sleep. To bed sleep. No, seriously. On a scale of 1 to 10, what did you have? Are you awake? On a scale of 1 to 10, what did you have?

On a scale of 1 to 10. I think I know what I had because I can see the bottle. I feel like I know what. What did you think you had? I feel like I had Pepsi. Okay. What did you think you had?

Well, I want to obey the rules. Four, but... And I have another theory, but I'm going to wait. What? Wait, what do you... You're going to wait. Yeah, I'm following the rules. And then I have a theory, but I'm going to wait.

Yeah. And what did you think? I think that I had... Good job. Thanks. Sir. I don't play by the rules. I work outside the system. And I accuse you, Jeku style, of pouring both Coke and Pepsi in my cup.

Yes. The tail-tail click of two bottles on my cup. Yes, and for me, I felt too distinct. I love that feeling. On my, I, I'd my honor. On my honor. On my honor. That is not what happened.

I poured one into each of your cups on my honor. Well, that sounded pretty real. He's got the phone out again. Is he awake? I really can't tell. I can't tell. The way that he looks down at is. Cat.

Barbara. Cat. Barbara. You say Singapore? I'm trying to get to Singapore in 20 minutes. Okay, I found something to Shanghai. Is that close? You know I don't know. I don't...

Okay, now I'm supposed to be a geography girl. Okay, no. Okay, hey, quick... Are you accounting for the date line? The TV show? Wait, on a scale of one to ten, Pepsi or Coke. I'm a Pepsi girl. I didn't ask that.

On a scale of one to 10, Pepsi or Coke. 10. Oh, sorry. Hi. Sorry. Oh, wait. Are you awake?

You just woke up? Yeah. I'm going to get out of here. I wanted to apologize for interrupting. I have to get back to my hotel and sleep because I got to get in touch with Barbara. You've been talking to Barbara. Are you kidding me? All right.

Well, she's one of the nicest women that I know. Yeah, that doesn't matter to you, though. I'll get my stuff. Yeah. And I will get out of here. What's this? What? Yeah, uh, you, uh, I think, you were doing the Pepsi challenge.

Why is the Pepsi so much bigger than the Coke? In terms of fluid ounces? You know what they say? It's not the size of the Pepsi. It's a fizz of the Coke. I like Coke. I will be honest. I like Coke more.

Okay. Yeah. Yep. Okay. I'll get out of here. This is a real comforter, by the way. What else would it be? We don't have a prop department making fake comforters.

Why would somebody go to the trouble of making a fake comforter? It's almost like you had. To take that from a hotel in a cab. No, they wouldn't let you do that. They wouldn't let you do that. No. A hotel would never let you do that unless you were very quick out the door.

I'm sorry, Scott. Can I try a theory? I feel like if we all sing the Pepsi Challenge, he'll go back to sleep. What? Like, I feel like he's hit him a down. We don't whispering. Why are you whispering?

What are you saying? I just want to confirm us his vision. Oh, okay. Wait, what? Everyone takes. The Pepsi Challenge Everyone takes the Pepsi Challenge

Everyone takes the Pepsi Challenge before they go to bed sleep Everyone takes the Pepsi Challenge Everyone takes the Pepsi Challenge Everyone takes the Pepsi Challenge Before they go to bed sleep

Please sing it five more times Oh I did Everyone Great The Pepsi Challenge Everyone takes the Pepsi Challenge Before they go to

bed sleep Stay and tuck me in Tuck me in Scott you got to tuck me in Double time Two three four Everyone takes the Pepsi Challenge Everyone takes Pepsi Challenge

Everyone takes a Pepsi Challenge Everyone takes a Pepsi Challenge Before they go to bed sleep Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Before they go to bed asleep Just the ladies

Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Before they go to spend Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Before they go to bed

sleep When I say pep- And Everyone takes a Pepsi challenge Everyone challenge before you spend That's our show, Jessica McKenna You've been a great crowd. We love you.

See you tomorrow night. See you tomorrow night! Good night.