Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Adam Scott, Tim Baltz, Dan Adhoot (Nutz 4 Snutz)
Episode Date: February 20, 2025This is episode 1 in our "Nutz 4 Snutz" series, originally episode #403 called "This Ain't Now, This Is Then," released on February 22nd, 2016. Our old friend Adam Scott of Farts and Procreation and U... Talkin’ U2 To Me? reunites with Scott on this week’s Comedy Bang! Bang! Adam Scott Aukerman catch up and talk about actors being truth tellers, beards, and the one thing Adam is most proud of in his life. Then, entrepreneur Randy Snutz arrives to seek help on settling a beef with the creators of The Lake House. Plus, special podcast guest Tebow Lebow, King of Euro Trash stops by to discuss his new podcast which will exclusively be about his luxurious life. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb
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Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here back with another bonus bang. As a reminder,
bonus bangs are re-releases of some of the great comedy bang bang episodes from
the archives which are now over there at CBBworld.com. You can hear everything
back there, but we re-release these every Thursday and we're kicking off a new
bonus bang series today. This is the first episode, the first week and we're kicking off a new bonus bang series today.
This is the first episode, the first week that we're doing this new series.
This series is called Nuts for Snuts, Nuts for Snuts with a number four.
Very important for those of you keeping track.
That is, it is the number four, not an, not an F-O-R,
nor is it F-O-U-R, but it is the number four stylized thusly.
This is a series dedicated to Randy Snuts, which is a character on Comedy Bang Bang. He refills the
ice in the urinals at my favorite restaurant, Domeo's, and he's played by Tim Balz. Now Tim Balz, he's been a CBB regular for a number of years.
First met him when he was a cast member
of our show, Bajillion Dollar Properties,
and he's a favorite of ours.
He has his own CBB World series called Hey Randy.
And when Tim isn't on Comedy Bang Bang,
he's on The Righteous Gemstones on HBO, which returns for season four on March 9th.
That's when he's not on Comedy Bang Bang. He goes back and forth between these two things. He doesn't sleep. He just does these two things.
This week, we're re-releasing episode 403, entitled This Ain't Now, This Is Then. This was originally released almost exactly nine years ago
on February 22nd, 2016.
It features Adam Scott, Timbalt as Randy Snuts,
and Tebow, played by Dan Adoots,
who was also from A Joandollar Properties.
This is the first ever appearance of Randy Snuts
where he breaks down his beef with the film The Lake House.
It's a great episode and now part of Comedy Bang Bang history.
Now, if you enjoy this episode and you want more like it,
you can find all of the CBB archives,
including every episode we've ever recorded,
all the live episodes over there at CBBWorld.com.
We're gonna be back next week
with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang.
That's Monday.
Until then, please enjoy the dulcet tones
of Randy Snuts on this bonus bang. Comedy bang bang! Comedy bang bang! Comedy bang bang! Comedy bang bang! Comedy bang bang!
Bang!
From boy to boots, getting them on that is. This is you talking you two to me. The comprehensive
and encyclopedic compendium of all things, you two. This is good rock and roll music.
Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.
Oh, interesting catchphrase submission.
Yeah, who came up with that one?
That was A. Scott.
Hmm, a Scott came up with that.
Thank you so much for that submission.
Meaning one of many Scots.
One of many Scots.
Okay, so we don't know which one it is.
It could be anyone at this point.
Wow.
Well, thank you so much for that catchphrase submission.
Really hearkens back to a bygone age, doesn't it?
Oh, the Halcyon days since they...
You pronounce it Halcyon.
Halcyon.
I say Halcyon.
Well, you're wrong.
Really?
Yes, but...
How much do you wanna bet?
Do you wanna bet your entire fortune?
My inflection when I said,
well, you're wrong means,
it was the beginning of a sentence, first of all,
thank you for interrupting me.
Secondly, no judgments, no judgments.
No judgments.
You're wrong.
But no judgments about that.
But we can keep going.
What about juries?
What about executioners?
Judge, jury, executioner, the three stations, basically.
The three stages of death.
Three stages of death, judge, jury, executioner.
I thought denial was in there at some point.
No, no, denial is within the subset of execution.
Oh, okay, yeah, that's under judge.
Executioner has six stages.
Oh, really?
In and of itself.
So that's 3B?
3B is denial.
Oh, okay.
Which is not a river in Egypt. Ha far as I'm concerned. Oh boy, boy. What a wonderful,
wonderful time we're having here today already. Way to kick it off. Yeah, oh boy. Especially the
New Year. This is a little late to kick off the New Year, but I'm glad we finally did it. Yeah,
it's February, so. Really a little late on our parts. Are you burping? I was burping, but I did it,
I kind of moved away from the mic
just to not burp into the microphone.
We ought to have a cough button.
It's true.
And why do you have these microphones down at our butts?
It's very strange.
Butt level, just to catch-
Just to catch any sound coming out of any butt.
These are secondary mics.
We have the ones by your mouth, of course,
and then we have secondary mics by your butt.
Well, I'm glad, just so you know,
this microphone near my butt, completely unnecessary.
There won't be any sounds coming out of my butt.
Have you ever farted before?
Farting, what is that?
Okay, let me explain.
Usually there are, the lower intestine builds up
gaseous substances, which- Can I write this down? Yeah, please write this builds up gaseous substances, which
Yeah, please write this down
They collect in your butthole, but hole they sort of said two T's no, it's just one T one T
But but but but but but whole like but whole like that hole. Okay. Yeah exactly
However, hole you can also call it a however hole. Okay, however hole, however hole.
Gaseous builds up in the however hole.
Yeah, the however hole.
And at a certain point that it is a hole,
it is an escape route for these gases.
Right, escape route.
The sphincter releases and...
Release of...
The sphincter, yeah, within your however hole.
However hole.
Okay, and then the passage of these gases
through the however hole,
because it is a tight constrictive hole.
Passage of gas hole.
Creates a sound.
Sound.
Much akin to a,
pffft.
Okay.
That's P-HBB-F-L-T-H-B-F-L-B-H.
Oh yeah, okay.
I have it right here.
And humans first heard that back in the caveman age.
Okay, caveman.
And that was the first word that the cavemen thought of.
And the cavemen, they all had however holes?
They all had however holes.
Actually the cavemen, you know, evolution, we all were fish, they got up and walked.
Fish, yeah, fish, butt holes.
When however holes were invented, that's when the man finally was at the last stage of evolution
and became cavemen. So the last stage of evolution and became cavemen.
So, the last stage of...
There were caveboys before.
The last stage of evolution is...
We all know Charles Darwin...
Survival of the fittest, sure.
And the butthole is the last, the final sort of...
The however hole, yes.
The however hole was the final sort of nail on the coffin.
Like, guys, we're done.
We are the best and the brightest.
We perfected it.
Yep.
Check out this however hole that I have.
Right.
Okay, so you're saying that the sound comes out
of the however hole and that is called a, I'm sorry.
That is a fart.
Fart, okay.
A fart.
Fart.
A fart.
A fart.
And that, the sound again is, I'm sorry.
Fart. Fart.
And that, the sound again is, I'm sorry?
Uh,
Pfft.
Okay, so, and that's P-H-B-F-T,
and that can just keep going in perpetuity.
Yeah, P-H-B-F-T, P-H-B-F-T, P-H-B-F-T.
Like I may as well just write et cetera, et cetera.
Sure, sure, or just a tiny little four,
you know, to the upper right of it, you know.
Oh, yeah.
To the fourth power, et cetera, yeah.
Of course, so it's, Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft Do you have a however hole? I don't, my mouth. Can I tear you a new one?
You may as well.
I would, I need a new one.
Really?
Cause the old one closed up.
Okay, what happened here?
Is it sort of like a, you know, a piercing?
Well, as my mom used to say,
I'm so full of shit, my eyes are brown.
Your mom sounds like a bitch.
Yeah, terrible, terrible, terrible bitch.
No wonder that you're so fucked up.
She raised you just to be a terrible human being.
Terrible, a liar.
A double dealer.
A DD.
The old DD.
And hey, it's a living.
That's true, boy.
Showbiz.
Actors are liars, which I, you know what I mean?
Yeah, or you know what's really interesting?
Tell me one thing that's really interesting. I've known you for so long. I've been waiting.
Right, and now's the time.
Oh boy.
Here's something that's actually interesting.
Okay, here we go.
Is that you say they're liars. That's fine. I totally get that.
Sure.
But from where I sit, Scott, on this side of the table, I think actors are actually truth tellers.
Whoa, that's a new way of looking at it.
Listen, maybe the last truth tellers,
the last bastion of truth.
Okay, well let's take one of your famous roles here
and we'll use it as an example.
Hot Tub Time Machine 2.
Of course.
What was your character's name?
Uh, really putting you on the spot here.
I was going to say Josh, but now I'm going to say it was actually Adam.
It was Adam. So you are a truth teller.
I'm a truth teller. And listen, this is what happened.
When I was on the set of HTTM 2,
they would say Adam.
And of course I turned my head because that's my
civilian name. But it was also my character's name.
Yeah, well you've told me this about your roles.
I wasn't finished, but go ahead.
Okay, sure. Everything that you say in a movie is actually true.
Yes.
So when you say your name is a different name, you've changed your name to that name for the...
I go to the DMV, I legally change my name every time I'm playing a role.
Yeah, and so every single thing you've said
in any of your movies is true.
Is that correct or incorrect?
That's absolutely right.
I rearrange my life so that everything I say
in any role is the truth.
And then when the moment they call, that's a wrap,
I go back and I change everything back.
Yeah, so you know, I've known in some movies
you've had four children.
Four kids, sure.
Okay, so you've gone out there and had sex with women
to create- I've sired women.
And one time you had to legally adopt one
because there was just no more time.
Exactly, and the child and I became one almost.
We were so bonded and I loved this kid with all of my heart
and he loved me, became a part of our family.
Sure, and then that's a wrap.
That's a wrap.
I got rid of him.
Yeah, see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
I put him into a, what do they call those places?
Uber?
I put him in an Uber, sent him down to Uber headquarters.
Sure, yeah.
Which is also now, as we all know, an adoption agency.
And Twitter back up for adoption.
Boy, Uber Kids, that's one of their best apps.
It's great, and they're making millions.
Millions on these kids, millions of dollars.
They finally figured out a way to do it.
That's right.
Fantastic, well, you know,
we've been talking to Adam Scott, by the way.
I wanted to introduce you.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, everybody. Do you wanna say hello to anyone Scott, by the way. I wanted to introduce you. Hey, hey everybody. Hey everybody.
Do you wanna say hello to anyone or?
Oh, sure.
I would like to say hello to my friends.
I'd like to say hello to my family.
I'd like to say hello to my fans.
But most of all, Scott, I would like to say hello
to you.
Thank you so much, Scott.
You're very, very welcome.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that.
Well, welcome back to the program.
It's been,
It's been a while.
No, it has not.
No, no, no.
It's been,
Couple months.
Yeah, well, I mean, since we did a U2 episode,
but it's been so long since you've been on this show proper.
Oh yeah, probably a couple years.
Yeah, a couple years.
Well, no, no, I'm sorry.
One year.
It's been one, yeah, exactly one year actually.
Well, we don't need to talk about that.
Is it exactly one year?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
I mean, you know, a couple days here.
Well, like two weeks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, a couple days here and there. You're right.
A couple days off.
You're right.
But thank you so much for returning.
Yes, thanks for having me.
And what's been going on with you? I mean, you told some truth about Krampus a couple
of months ago.
I rearranged my life so I could actually fight a Christmas demon for a couple of months. And now I'm just in Los Angeles.
You have a douchey beard.
I have a douchey beard.
What's going on with that?
It's for a roll, Scott.
A roll?
And we're not talking a dinner roll.
Now listen, I'm not putting on a fake beard.
You don't see me sitting in the makeup chair for four hours.
Have you ever put on a fake beard?
I've put on fake beards before.
Who hasn't? Why are you putting on fake beards before, who hasn't?
Well, why are you putting on fake beards if everything you say is-
Why are you asking me so many questions about my fucking beard, bro?
Sorry, bro!
I'm interested in beards, you know?
I know you are.
You know that I have a side interest in beards
and I have a side podcast about beards.
And you have your beard...
By the way, this is an episode of Beardy Does It.
Shave it free be nice and clean. Shave every day as you're always looking.
Hey welcome to Beardy Does It we're here with one of our favorite guests. He's
grown a douchey beard he's had it for a couple of months now. Please welcome Adam
Scott. Thank you, thanks a lot. Yeah you know I have a beard. That's been our episode of Beardy Does It. All right.
Great app. That was a terrific app. You know, the show is always good.
Beardy Does It is always A+. Always. Always terrific.
But that one, that had something special.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was better.
Yeah.
Better than like-
I think it was, the thing I liked about it, Scott,
if I'm being completely honest and just speaking-
Please, be total candor.
No filter.
I liked it when you were talking about the beards,
but I also liked it when you intro'd like,
you could set a time, set a place.
You know what I mean?
Like, here we are, this is who we are.
We don't care, we're here for the beers.
Ah!
I loved it, oh.
God.
This is like great sex, what we're doing right now.
It really is.
Have you ever had great sex?
Yeah, it's like, you know what it's like, Scott?
It's like, it's like just fucking.
Just fucking. Just you and just fucking. Just fucking.
Just you and me fucking.
Just fucking each other.
Have you ever thought about fucking each other?
Yeah, I think about, well, that's what I always,
whenever we're doing a podcast together,
I just think like, ooh, just fuck.
I just go home and I tell my wife, I'm like, I just fucked.
Yeah.
I just fucked, it was so fucking good.
I go home and I sit my kids down and I go, I just fucked, it was so fucking good. I go home and I sit my kids down and I go,
I just fucked.
Why are your kids standing up?
What?
Why are your kids standing, why do you have to sit them down?
Let them sit down around the house.
Oh, because they, when they're in the house,
they're only allowed to,
their only transportation that they're allowed is wheelchairs.
Okay.
Well, you have a, you live in an abandoned hospital. Yeah. And the ceilings are incredibly low, so not when even a child can stand up. So
we all have to jump into a-
Hop in a W chair.
An old fashioned wheelchair that we got from the set of the Nick.
Sure.
We use those.
And it's haunted too, you were telling me.
Right? The hospital's haunted?
It's filled with ghosts.
And I've talked about this on the show before.
Hospitals would be the most haunted places in the world.
Well, yeah, there's a lot of death there.
A lot of death there. And so you would imagine that ghosts would hang out there exclusively.
Yeah. Or even go there to get treated for diseases.
Yeah, ghost diseases, ghost aids.
Common colds.
Yeah, the ghost common cold.
Why haven't we cured that?
The ghost common cold is even more contagious
than the regular cold.
Sure, if a ghost sneezes on you, by the way,
oh my God, you're sick for it, yeah.
All that ghost snot that you get on your face
when you sneeze.
Yeah, and if a ghost comes in your face too,
that's just like...
You would be surprised because I do,
I'm a side shaman on the side.
Of course.
You would be, and I can see,
I have perception that other people can't see.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm so tired of talking about this.
No, you are kind of, can I say tuned in?
Yes, to other frequencies.
Yeah, people say, oh, medium this, medium that, Scott.
It's like I'm an extra large at this point.
I know, medium is such a diminutive word for you.
Exactly, exactly.
But you would be surprised when I walk around the city,
and I love to walk around the city.
Just looking at the architecture.
Looking up, looking down.
It's like, hey, oh, look at that, what is that?
Is that a Roman column? Is that ionic? Whenever we're out on the streets, architecture. Looking up, looking down. It's like, hey, oh, look at that. What is that?
Is that a Roman column?
Is that ionic?
Whenever we're out on the streets,
just walking around, just having our long talks
that we have.
Because a lot of people don't know,
anytime we do a podcast,
we preface it with a four hour walk.
We walk everywhere.
Just to figure it out.
And I'm always like, hey Scott, Scott, down here,
down here, why are you looking up?
And my eyes are down here.
Up here, why are you looking down at this? And you're like, I love taking in, hey Scott, Scott, down here, why are you looking up? My eyes are down here. Up here, why are you looking down at the,
you're like, I love taking in the street art.
This whole thing is like a big piece of art to me.
You know what I love is a good Banksy.
You know what I mean?
Have you ever seen a good Banksy?
Have I ever seen a bad Banksy?
How about that?
That's great.
Anyway, what I was gonna say is you would be surprised
when you walk around the city,
just how much ghost cum is on people's great. Anyway, what I was gonna say is you would be surprised when you walk around the city Just how much ghost cum is on people's faces. Oh, yeah, so
You can see the cum. Yes, I can see the it's it's like ectoplasm, you know
Perhaps you remember that movie Ghostbusters. Oh Ghostbusters. Yeah with Slimer aka onionhead
Yeah, you know, it's funny that his name is onion. don't really know that but you know that oh, of course
I know that I am an aficionado of Ghostbusters now
You've always said that the Ghostbusters starring onion head and Ernie Hudson though
Now, did you know that there's also Bill Murray Dan Aykroyd now?
Harold rain not ring a bell. Yeah see Onionhead and Ernie Hudson aren't,
I mean they're-
It's a two-hander as far as I'm concerned.
Well, I mean they're-
One green and one human colored.
Now, they're both definitely in the movie.
You're on the verge of saying something incredibly racist.
No, I was gonna say flesh colored.
But they're not the star,
I wouldn't call it a two-hander at all.
Well, a four-hander, obviously they have two hands.
It's a little, they should call movies like
Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2, Rush Hour 3,
hopefully a Rush Hour 4,
and then I'll finally pay attention to it,
because we all know that if there's four in a series,
we can finally pay attention to it.
There is a Rush Hour 4? I thought there was. There is pay attention to it. There is a Rush Hour 4?
I thought there was.
There is?
Is there not?
There is a Rush Hour 4?
We gotta get it, no.
I don't believe so.
But what you're saying,
the stupid thing you were about to say
is that they should all be called four-handers?
They should be called four-handers.
Right, because two people, each person has two hands.
But Scott, what if one of the people
lost their hand in an accident?
What if one of the people is fucking Luke Skywalker?
Whoa, man, you're fucking blowing my mind.
Well, Adam, it's a great privilege to be allowed to be in a room.
Someone's showing me a picture that says Rush Hour 4,
but it could be Photoshopped.
I don't know what that means.
Show me a Wikipedia entry that says Rush hour for and then a cast list and maybe
I'll believe it. I thought there were four of them. What when was the fourth one? I don't know. I
Haven't seen shit. There is a four
Okay, we got okay. We got to read some trivia on this. When did four come out? Okay
Four supposedly came out in
It didn't... Four supposedly came out in...
2012?
The plot is unknown at this time, it says.
This doesn't exist!
Oh, so it's not real.
No, it's...
Okay, trivia, Brett Ratner has stated he would not return for this movie as director.
Jackie Chan has admitted he was not interested in reprising his role as Lee.
This doesn't sound like a real thing.
Take that fucking picture away from me.
Adam, what are you most proud of in your life? That doesn't sound like a real thing. Take that fucking picture away from me.
Adam, what are you most proud of in your life?
All, I guess.
Taking your family out of it. I love my family.
No, no, no, no.
Forget about that.
I'm not proud of any of that anyway.
I feel like, for me, the thing I'm not proud of any of that anyway. I feel like for me, the thing I'm most proud of
in my life being a person who lives in California.
Sure.
One of the 48.
One of the 48 landlocked states,
because as we all know, California actually is landlocked.
Certainly.
The ocean is complete bullshit. It'd be interesting if it were is landlocked. The ocean is complete bullshit.
It'd be interesting if it were not landlocked.
Like if we just put a kind of a tributary
or a river around the border.
Yeah, or like-
So it's like an island.
If the border of like Los Angeles,
let's say Santa Monica, was up against a body of water.
Oh man, I would love that.
People could enjoy the water in any way they want.
Sure.
Be it sand hopping,
river gliding, what's another water sport?
Cloud castling.
Cloud castling.
Of course.
Portion fending.
Sure.
Any of these things that people like to do.
They love to do these and these are the most popular.
The most popular, yeah.
I mean, why bother talking about the least popular?
I know, when you have portion spending.
Yeah, of course.
So that's what I'm most proud of,
is being a person who really cares
about their California heritage,
and really fights for the rights of all Californians.
What do you think about that flag?
You know, the California flag?
Fill you with pride? Every time? You know the California flag? The California flag, yeah. Fill you with pride?
Every time I look at the California flag, and you'll see if you show me the California
flag right now.
Oh, well, I happen to have them right here, actually, so.
Here we go.
It's fluttering and flapping in the wind.
It is a very windy studio.
I'm looking at it, and it usually takes me a couple minutes, but every time I see a California
flag, I burst into tears.
Yeah, well I get scared of that bear on it.
The bear is incredibly scary.
That's what people never talk about is how scary.
How scary the bear is, it's so frightening.
That's part of why I burst into tears,
because I'm frightened.
Frightened of the bear.
I think it's coming right at me usually.
Me too.
It's a lot like that movie with the train
coming right at you that scared everyone in the theater.
That's how I feel when I look at the California flag.
Or the Leonardo DiCaprio movie
where the bear jumps out of the screen and-
And mauls everyone in the audience.
In the theater.
Yeah, everyone talks about,
oh, our theater's too dangerous.
Do we need metal detectors?
Let's start worrying about the bears.
Yeah, let's get Leonardo DiCaprio to stop bringing
bears into his movies.
Leaful bears into every movie theater in America.
And while we're at it, let's go backwards
to the bad news bears.
Those guys were pretty scary too.
I'm glad I wasn't of age to see that movie
in the movie theater because those bears,
they meant business.
They, I mean, the way they bumbled and fumbled.
But ultimately, ultimately.
Yeah.
They took home the big prize, right?
They did in the sequel, of course.
Yeah, they didn't win in the first one.
I don't believe they won in the first one.
They just had fun.
And they told off one of the dads.
They just had fun?
Yeah, had fun.
You know, have you seen the trailer for that movie on?
Oh, every day, every day of my life. They say the N word seen the trailer for that movie on? Oh, every day, every day of my life.
They say the N word in the trailer for that movie. It was a different time. It was PG. And at the
time, because I was a kid, I really wanted to see it. And because it was PG, I was that's what PG
used to mean was, this has stuff that is not suitable for kids. Right. It meant R basically.
Yeah, it's what an R would be now.
Yeah.
If you watch that movie, they're looking at Playboys.
Yeah, smoking.
Smoking. They say the N-word constantly.
They say the N-word many times.
Multiple times. More than I'm comfortable saying it.
And it's kids saying the N-word.
Right. It's like a Quentin Tarantino movie, basically.
Speaking of Tarantino,
you hoping that he resuscitates your career?
Are you, is that what you call him now?
Tarantino, yeah.
So you hoping he does like a John Travolta thing with you
or he picks up an actor who's gone fallow.
Who's all washed up.
Yep.
That would be great.
And just sort of recontextualizes him
for a new generation.
Sort of reintroduces him to a new generation.
Introducing Adam Scott!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
and everyone has to try and like see
if they remember that actor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I could really use that.
Yeah, I think you could.
You've had a string of,
you know, you know. No, I don't. What do you mean?
I mean, you strung them out. You know?
That's true. That's true.
What do you have? You have, you went to the dance recently, right?
Yeah, I'm going to go again this year.
Yeah, you took a trip. This is of course February, so you just took a trip.
Oh yeah, I just got back from the dance.
It was great.
You enjoy the dances here?
It was great.
It was cold though.
Oh my God, El Nino's back.
El Nino hit Park City hard this year.
Oh my God.
It was so, there was so much snow
that all of the people from
Hollywood, they couldn't even see their egos. You know what, usually the snow in
Sundance is the cocaine that all the actors and actresses and producers... All the Hollywood weirdos? Yeah, do, but this year was a literal
you know precipitation forming into ice particles falling from the sky. Well, it's All the Hollywood weirdos? Yeah, I do, but this year was literal precipitation
forming into ice particles falling from the sky.
Well, it's like rain, but it's extremely cold.
Hard rain.
Hard, sharp, spiky rain.
And we're not talking about the Morgan Freeman
Christian Slater movie.
No, of course not.
Which was it?
Hard Rain?
Hard Rain, oh, okay.
Is that what it was called?
For some reason I was thinking Broken Arrow,
but that's a Travolte.
Yeah, that's Travolte.
Yeah.
Right after Tarantin kind of resuscitated his career.
Christmas later, what a career.
He just won a Golden Globe last month.
Yeah, totally won a Gigi.
You gonna win one of those?
No.
No, you don't think so?
I don't really see that in my opinion.
You got anything in the pipeline that is award worthy
or of note at all?
No.
What about this movie you went to the dance with?
I've seen it.
It's a great film.
Well, I'm not in that.
Oh, okay.
But you produced it.
You might want to GG for that.
It's true.
But I doubt it.
You're not proud of this one?
No, I very much am.
It's a great film.
People should check it out. It's called Star Wars Episode, this one? No, I very much am. It's a great film. People should check it out.
It's called Star Wars Episode, which one?
12, we jumped ahead.
Yeah, good.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, the first one was four.
The first one was four, so we thought,
well, why don't we just jump ahead
and start telling a story that takes place
on Earth with regular people?
In fact, we shot a movie.
Because the other Star Wars' were a long time ago
in a galaxy far, far away.
Yeah, we're saying what about...
12 just jumps ahead to Earth in 2016.
A little, slightly in the future,
pretty close to home is what we say in the opening crawl.
And it's just about humans kind of living their lives
on Earth in 2016.
Sure, I mean, it qualifies because it's in the same timeline
as a Star Wars.
And there's a character in the movie whose middle name
is Luke, which is the same first name as Luke Skywalker.
Who's?
Luke Skywalker.
Who's he?
Who you?
Who's he?
Who's he?
Who's he?
You like those lightsabers?
Oh man.
That was weird in your film,
cause it's, I mean, it's a cancer drama
starring Molly Shannon.
Yeah.
When she took out that lightsaber
and was just like,
well here's the thing Scott.
I'm gonna cut the cancer out of me.
Yeah, here's the thing is that when we decided
to turn it into a Star Wars movie,
it was after it had been shot, edited.
Post-production?
Yeah, it was when they do a 3D, you know, after the fact.
Yeah, and the writer-director,
great, brilliant guy named Chris Kelly,
was, I said, hey, listen, did you see Star Wars?
And he was like, yeah, of course, I love Star Wars.
And I said, here's the thing, do another bump,
and I have an idea for you.
Here's some more cocaine.
Now listen.
And then I just turned it into a Star Wars movie.
So you said, now listen, and then you shut the door on him.
And turned his beautiful, haunting, very funny,
dramatic film about a son and his mother,
I turned it into a Star Wars movie and it works.
It's so much better.
It sounds like a crazy idea, but it worked.
No, it works very, very well.
And I think I've not spoken to Chris about it,
but I would only assume that he's incredibly proud
of what I did to his movie.
And you're being sued by the Star Wars franchise.
Is that correct?
Being sued by Lucasfilm, by Disney,
which is not a big deal.
Sure.
It's like, hey, Mickey Mouse is suing me.
Who cares?
Yeah, I mean, how?
Oh, I'm suing you.
Yeah, what is Goofy gonna represent him in court?
Judge, jury, and executioner.
It's really, I'm just not taking it seriously.
No, of course not.
Who would at this point?
Right.
And I'm also being sued by the filmmaker, by Chris.
Okay, wait, you're assuming that he's proud though.
I think he's very proud of it.
I just think that he's kind of listening
to the powers that be.
Oh, sure.
We all do that in our lives.
It's like, listen to your heart first.
Yeah, listen to the kind of the artist inside of you.
Listen to your fart first. You have to listen to your f first. Yeah, listen to the kind of the artist inside of you. Listen to your fart first. You have to listen to your farts. And so we'll see how it goes, but I'm really happy to be a part of
the Star Wars family. Star Wars universe now, you're part of it. Yeah. You're like Mace Windu or
something. Right. The best character in the history of Star Wars. Sure, of course. Well,
congratulations. And you're a non-official Jedi, I know.
You're still waiting to get your Jedi belt.
Yeah, I mean, I sent away for it.
I saved up 6,000 proofs of purchases.
And what did you purchase?
Action figures.
Oh, okay, 6,000 action figures.
But the thing is, they weren't Star Wars action figures.
Oh, okay, sure.
They were all the, remember the Avatar toy line?
Oh, of course they do. I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought
I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought human or her as a Navi. Of course. And so I got 6,000 of each, sent all of those little cardboard cutout proofs of purchases.
Sure.
For the listener, he's miming scissors.
Scissors.
Which is very helpful to me.
I'm sorry.
I cut them out of the...
Thank you.
I'm doing the sound effect now.
So yeah.
So it really comes to life here.
I put them all into a box.
And I sent it, I just wrote on the envelope, Star Wars.
Sure. Gave it to the mailman. Okay. And so sent it, I just wrote on the envelope, Star Wars. Sure.
Gave it to the mailman.
Okay.
And so I'm awaiting my Star Wars belt.
Wow, okay.
Well, you're gonna get it someday, my friend.
I know I am.
Yeah.
Before we go to a break, gotta ask you,
you two, anything happening?
People wanna know, anything happening with you two?
They did that, they did their HBO special.
Yeah, what did you think of that?
I still haven't seen it.
You haven't?
By the way, there was some talk initially on HBO side,
not the band side, about us going out there
and doing something in Paris.
I'm kind of glad we didn't go.
I think I might be too, actually.
I feel like it may have been a rough trip. Yeah, it might have been.
But looking forward to it, they did announce their new record
maybe coming out this year.
Do you want to do an app if it comes out?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
We would have to, don't you think?
I feel like we would have to.
Even though we people are constantly saying,
come on, do another episode.
Come on, do it.
We ended on such a high talking to the band.
Yeah, I mean, how could we really?
I mean, the only other thing I guess we could do
is sort of go back and play some of the bits
from the interview that we didn't include,
which was just all that kind of chatter before they-
Yeah, we never talked about it.
They came in and The Edge sat down and started playing.
Yeah, stuck in a moment.
Stuck in a moment, and we got some of that on tape.
Yeah.
And then we talked about other stuff.
I can't remember what we talked about.
But is it worth an episode?
Probably the most worth it thing
that we've ever talked about.
Anything that we've ever done, yeah.
Well, I'll tell you what,
if I have your verbal promise,
then we'll do another episode
if they come out with another album.
How's that sound?
Yeah, that sounds great.
You two, if you're listening,
what am I saying?
Of course they're listening.
Bonobos, Thedge,
Adam Clay, 2 pounds, you know, of course. Larry M-O-1's in your sun.
Um, you're listening, obviously.
So, uh, you know, get to steppin' on putting out that new record.
Get to steppin'?
Sure.
That's the proper way to talk to them. Yeah.
And then we'll do an episode,
we'll do an app to promote it for you.
Sounds great.
All right, sounds good.
Let's go to a break.
When we come back, we'll have more Comedy Bang Bang.
Yeah.
Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here with Scott
and Scott and Scott together again.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey. One thing hey. Hey, hey.
One thing I didn't remember doing these shows,
it's been a minute since you and I have done these shows.
And is the constant every break you go into the restroom.
Yeah, I wasn't aware of this, of how annoying that,
but when I- Well, it's not annoying.
I just, it's something that I forgot about
because most people, human beings with, you know, big boy sized bladders.
Yeah, they don't have to do it every.
Well, when am I supposed to do my cocaine?
Oh, that's what's happening.
Yeah.
Remember the old Deer Wolf studios
when we first started you talking you to me
with those gross toilets?
Oh man, those bathrooms were very brutal.
They were brutal.
I believe we talked about it on the air.
Yeah, we did, we did. But we have nice ones here now. They were brutal. I believe we talked about it on the air. Yeah, we did.
We did, but we have nice ones here now.
Beautiful restrooms.
Beautiful restrooms, so that's fantastic.
I would eat lunch out of those toilets.
Yeah, they're great.
I mean, and so yeah, they're beautiful.
I really love them.
Gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
I would eat a pie off the surface of these toilets.
I would eat anybody's. the surface of these toilets.
I would eat anybody's. You know what kind of pie I'm talking about, right?
Oh yeah, pussy, bro.
Hair pie, bro.
Man.
Yeah, I love these toilets.
Me too.
And the things that sit on them.
Me too.
But.
Yeah, dude, hey.
What?
Yeah, man.
Huh?
What's going on?
Hey, oh, who's, sorry, who are man, huh? What's going on? Hey, oh who's sorry who?
Who are you sir? Come on, dude. You don't recognize me. I'm the guy who fills your the urinal at your favorite restaurant with ice. Oh
Okay, what's going on? I heard you guys talking about toilets, so I came in here with my ice bucket
Yeah, God you have a huge ice bucket here. Yeah, you guys want to piss in it?
God, you have a huge ice bucket here. Yeah, you guys wanna piss in it?
Adam just went.
I'm all good.
Aw, too bad, dude.
If I had known you were going,
I would have put some ice on that urinal
and you could have pissed in it.
And it would have been nice to watch the ice melt
and feel powerful.
So not only do you fill the urinals with ice,
you enjoy watching them melt with urine?
I mean, I'm not gonna watch
unless you ask me to watch you melt some of that ice,
but I think it's a universal thing that people are like,
we lose so much control in our lives
that it's nice to know my piss is always gonna be hot
and capable of melting ice.
I'm sorry, who are you and why did you come in here?
You don't recognize me, I work at your favorite restaurant.
What's my favorite restaurant according to you? Didomeo's? Didomeo, yeah, of I work at your favorite restaurant. What's my favorite restaurant according to you?
Didomeos?
Didomeos, yeah, of course that's my favorite restaurant.
Yeah, well, my name's Randy Snuts.
I've been working at Didomeos for a couple of years.
You work at Didomeos?
What is your last name?
Snuts.
Snuts.
Yeah, S-N-U-T-S.
Yeah, okay, I was just checking what your last name was.
It's Irish.
Oh, oh, you're one of the Irish people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have a question,
because I'm actually happy you're here,
because I've always wondered why ice in the urinals?
Yeah, that's a great question.
I've never really understood it,
because is it supposed to keep the pee cold?
That's the only theory I have.
Right, like why would you need your pee
to be colder than it was when it left you?
I mean, it's gonna drop in temperature no matter what.
Why ice?
Plus it's just going right down that pipe, I hope.
Yeah.
Or, you know, because when you have ice there,
it's like, you know how when you pour
just a nice fifth of scotch on some ice?
Oh gosh.
I just love the sound of it.
I just love the, you know, sometimes I
wouldn't even drink it because I have a drinking problem and I really should be
quitting. I just love the sound of it. I love the taste of it. I can't help but taste it.
And I don't even drink the whole thing. I don't even drink, but I have a vast
collection of scotches and a vast collection of different ice-making
machines. And sometimes I don't even pour it on ice. Sometimes I just pour it down
the sink. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just like a nice 15 year old, just blk blk blk blk right down the sink.
Sometimes I just pour it down the toilet. Oh my gosh, it's so nice. Just it's so great to have such
an appreciation for fine things. Especially a clean toilet like the ones you have here. Oh,
but to my point, what I was gonna say is anytime you pour scotch on ice, you're left with scotch
molecules on top of the ice. Instead of it just going down the toilet,
the pee molecules are now coagulating on top of the ice.
What is the purpose of this, sir?
That's just like the good stuff, you know?
That's like what happens after.
It's the good stuff?
Yeah, that's the good stuff, baby.
You know, like, I mean, look,
I'm not gonna speculate on why it feels good
to like pee on ice, although like,
I've said my piece on this, you know?
Like, it makes us feel powerful.
Yeah, you have said a bit of...
You said your piece.
Yeah.
But why does it make us feel powerful?
Because we have the power to melt the ice?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, a lot of religions believe in predestination and, you know...
Sure.
Like, the fate of your life is already predetermined, you know?
Sometimes I think that humans have choice.
Yeah, so do I.
And I think the best choice to make
is to like enact change in the world.
But it's actually pretty difficult.
What can leave you feeling like out of control.
Right, yeah, so we feel out of control in our lives
and this is one thing that we can,
that sort of like settles us down and makes us feel good.
Like, hey, at least I can melt ice with my penis.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
So is that's why there is ice and urinals is to make people feel more in control of their lives and their destiny
Werner Herzog would say that it's sort of man above nature and sort of asserting man's dominance over nature. Is that correct?
Oh, that's pretty interesting. Yeah, I would definitely say that Werner Herzog has pissed on ice before and
Let it melt and gotten his jollies off of it yeah I gotta ask him about that do you think that's where Werner Herzog gets all of his ideas I
mean I'm not gonna speculate on that but you won't okay good good I was gonna say
Adam that's a little rude to ask him to speculate on that well I wasn't asking
him to speculate I was just asking him if it's true oh okay you were asking for
facts yes okay yeah please don't speculate tell us the facts oh yeah I wasn't asking him to speculate. I was just asking him if it's true. Oh, okay. You were asking for facts.
Yes.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Please don't speculate.
Tell us the facts.
Oh yeah, that's absolutely true.
Okay, good, thank you.
I'm just not gonna speculate on top of it.
Okay, no, please don't speculate.
Please do not.
God, when you even say it,
it just gives me the heebie jeebies.
I'm glad you guys brought up Werner Herzog,
cause like-
Well, Scott brought it up.
I had nothing to do with it.
We didn't do that in tandem.
Oh, right, all right.
Well, I'm glad that you, Scott brought it up and then Adam, that
you like, you know, you piggybacked off of it.
I wouldn't call it piggybacking. I was following Scott down it.
I would call it a sidecar more than piggybacking. You know, like when Robin would sit in Batman's
sidecar and just go, go faster, Batman.
No. It was a completely independent question. I would have asked it whether you brought
up Werner Herzog or not.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, so we're riding two motorcycles separately.
Going the exact same speed down the exact same fairway
on a golf course.
Okay, motorcycles on a golf course, great.
I love this kind of industry talk.
Right.
It really gets me going, but the reason I was excited
about it was I had a beef to bring up with you guys.
Okay. So like, um, I'm pretty sure that-
When I go to Don- I can barely pronounce it. I love the restaurant though. It's Don-
Didomeos.
Didomeos. When I go to Didomeos-
It's your favorite restaurant, Scott.
But I mean, you know, it's so hard to pronounce. You got two apostrophes in there like-
Didomeos.
It's like talking tang.
Didomeos, yeah.
But when I go there, I order the beef
and sometimes someone brings me the beef there.
So if you're bringing me a beef that you wanted to bring up,
so that's very akin to my experience at Didomios.
Yeah, I know.
Well, Didomios is one of the only BYO beef places
in the city where you bring your own beef
and they'll cook it for you.
Yeah, I love that about it.
So you bring raw beef to the restaurant?
Well, it's not raw. You're gonna sear it at home.
Yeah.
Of course, I'm sad.
But you're not gonna bring fully cooked beef to a restaurant and be like,
please do something with this.
Yeah, what can you do with this?
Seared beef.
Sure, it's got a nice sear on it.
You want it just some nice, you know, some browning, some nice char.
And then what did they do with it then?
They do all the rest, bro.
Yeah, man, they add the accoutrement.
They add like all the condiments and stuff.
So they season your beef for you.
What?
When you put it that way, you perv.
Yeah.
Why is that perverted?
I don't understand.
This guy's got a boner under the table.
No, I absolutely do not.
We have the mic down there.
I can hear it. Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo,oyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy Wait, so how much do they charge for this just for seasoning and cooking your beef a little more than it's not a lot
It's like, you know, three hundred four hundred dollars. That's incredibly expensive
I mean when you're in the top one percent of the top one percent, it's not that much but you're not Scott
What do you mean? You're not in the top one percent of the top one percent. I
Think I am I think you're not what Did you have billions of dollars? Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Then you are.
Of course I do.
Rare $400 is not a lot of money
for someone to cook your beef.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess for the top 1% of the 1%.
Yeah, at one point someone came up,
I had millions of dollars and someone said,
you know what's cooler than millions of dollars,
billions of dollars.
And I went, oh, okay, I'll have those.
And then, yeah.
And you just had them?
Yeah, that was all it took.
Just someone saying that and then you were-
It was a leprechaun.
It was a leprechaun.
And I caught him and I forced him to give me his gold.
Anyway, it's a long fucking, god, Adam, we're getting,
we're talking to Randy Snuts over here.
Sorry.
You're asking me about my leprechaun history.
It's Randy Snots.
Snuts?
Snots, yeah, S-N-U-T-S.
When you say it, I can hear Snuts,
but when you say it, I hear...
I can't tell if it's snuts or snuts.
He's not from Santa Cruz or California, bro.
Yeah, dude.
I'm like third generation American and my family's from Dublin.
Snuts.
It's a classic Irish name.
Snuts.
So, you have a bone to pick, so to speak, with me?
Yeah, so I'm pretty sure that the movie The Lake House was directly inspired from events of my life,
and I want to sue somebody for it,
but I don't know where to begin.
Good thing that you came to me about this.
Yeah.
Why is that a beef with Scott or I?
Well, it's not a beef with you guys.
It's just a beef I have in general.
He wanted to bring up.
Oh, I see.
OK.
I need help.
Someone's got to help figure this out for me.
All right, well, let's talk about the plot of The Lake House.
Now, this is Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.
Yeah, absolutely. Making magic together once again.
They live in a house in separate time periods, correct?
Yeah, he lives there in 2004, you know, and she lives there in 2006.
Okay, so not that far apart.
Two years apart.
Yeah, yeah, but then they're writing letters to each other because like one's an owner,
you know, and the other's an owner. And then- Is one renting or is one in they they're writing letters to each other because like one's an owner You know and the other is an owner and then is one renting or is one in they're both owners
They're both owners and then they figure out that that's may have this very important. Do they talk about that in the film?
Do they both say I'm an owner? Yeah, they're one of their first line. Did they put the deed because there's a magic mailbox, right?
Yeah, yeah
Yeah
So they're like, you know trying to mail mail each other, trying to mail like the previous owner
and the other owner, like problems about the house.
Why didn't they just call it the magic mailbox?
I don't know, because if it was called the magic-
I'd go see that film.
Yeah.
You know, that sounds great.
I mean, I saw the lake house,
but I would see it twice if it was called the magic mailbox.
Sure, just to see that come up on the screen.
Of course.
Oh my gosh.
I saw the lake house a bunch of times on airplanes.
Oh really, where were you flying from and to where? I was flying from Seattle to Spokane.
Oh okay. Yeah. And then back back and forth or do you just stay there? I had to do it three times
to complete the film. Oh okay. Wait you you oh to complete because it was a short flight? Yeah it's
not a long flight. Right. So just there and then back and then there again and then what'd you do
at that point? That point then I rented a car and drove back. Okay great. But since they wouldn't show a movie
on a flight that's only like 45 minutes, does that mean that you brought your own portable device
and just watched sections of the movie on the short flight? Yeah and then I repowered my laptop
once I got to this volcano airport. So that takes about 14 hours or so. Yeah. Get it at full charge.
And then get on standby and then turn my computer on
once I get on the flight.
Once they say it's OK to turn it on.
Oh, sure, sure.
OK, all right.
Back in like a federal aviation regulations.
So it ends up you have like 22 minutes of screen time
if you're going by FAA regulations.
Yeah, pretty much.
Great, so it took you three flights.
And they have a magic mailbox. Can I ask you some? And so that's the plot of three flights. And they have a magic mailbox.
Can I ask you some?
And so that's the plot of the Lake House.
They have a magic mailbox.
They mail back and forth, and then they fall in love,
and then they go meet each other.
In 2006, I guess, they go meet each other?
They figure out that.
So Keanu Reeves is sneaky about it.
And he goes and he meets her.
He's a little sneak.
He's always sneaky in his movies.
Did you see John Reynolds or John Wick, I believe
is what you're talking about.
That's not a good poll.
Reynolds to Wick.
Well, which ever.
Wick ever.
He was really sneaky in that movie.
He's so sneaky.
He should wear sneakers in all of his films.
He's so sneaky.
Sometimes he does.
Scott, all right, all right, I'm sorry.
I apologize. Look, Adam, I want to apologize, all right, I'm sorry. I apologize.
Look, Adam, I want to apologize to you.
I accept your apology and I thank you.
All right, I appreciate you accepting my apology.
It takes a big man to do that.
Thank you.
I have reason to believe that John Wick
was also based on my life.
Really?
Well, let's talk about your life,
because this is interesting to me.
So that's the plot of the lake house.
Did you own a lake house?
Yeah, so I grew up with a lake house. Did you own a lake house? Yeah, so yeah, so I grew up with a lake house
and we used to go there for summers and stuff and whatnot. Okay. So I had a mailbox and
I used to correspond with people and you know, they'd say, this ain't now, this is before.
And you know, I didn't believe it. Okay. Yeah. So you just received what, a postcard or a letter?
Yeah, I get a postcard that was dated, you know, two weeks before the day.
Okay, well, that's, you know, I, look, a lot of the mail is dated at dates that are previous to when you actually receive them.
It takes a little bit of a time to actually deliver the mail.
See, this sounds a lot like the Lake House 2.
Well, it's the Lake House 2. Yeah, the Lake House 2. Well, so the Lake House 2?
Yeah, the Lake House 2.
Wait, is that in development?
Is this like a Rush Hour 4 situation?
It came out already.
It did?
Are Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in it?
Yeah, they both play mailmen that get a Lake House.
Wow, sounds like a real four-hander.
Wow.
My gosh.
Well, so you would receive mail, and it would have a postmark from a date previous
to the day that you received it.
And then you thought that when you saw the lake house, you thought it was based on you.
Yeah, dude, that's based on me.
Okay.
Now, I think he's got a case here.
Yeah, I think that do you have an attorney yet or?
No, I would like to pass the bar and represent you.
You should, you know, the bar is super easy.
It's super easy.
I'll do it to California.
I'll do it today.
Okay, so by the end of the day,
it looks like you have representation.
Yeah, dude, I would love that.
Okay. That'd be killer.
Great, well, you know, let's get into a judge,
jury and executioner situation with this thing.
If I could just ask real quick,
again, on the postcard in the message column
where people write like, hey, how's it going?
I'm in Paris, just thinking of you, this is not the post going? I'm in Paris just thinking of you.
Not, this is not the postcard.
I'm not asserting this is a postcard you received.
I'm just-
The court stipulates this is not the postcard.
Okay, thank you.
Yeah, I'm pretty good already.
Not bad.
In that section of the postcard,
people would write to you, this isn't now.
This ain't now, this is then?
Is that what-
Yeah, this ain't now, this is then.
And did this happen before the Lake House was released?
No, I bet that's the kicker of it is.
That's the crazy thing is that it started happening
after I saw the Lake House.
But they were writing it before.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Because I heard the Lake House came out in 2006,
but was actually written in 2010.
OK.
And maybe they put the script into a Magic Mailbox. Into a Magic in 2010. Okay. And they sent, maybe they put the script
into a magic mailbox and sent it back.
Yeah, and they knew, they watched it.
They just typed out everything that happened in the movie,
including Sandra Bullock does this,
Keanu Reeves does this, Keanu Reeves sneaks around,
does this, and then they put it in the magic mailbox.
They mail it back to themselves and then they, oh my gosh.
And the sneakiest part is that they renamed it the Lake House.
In 2010, it was called the Magic Mailbox.
Wow. Yeah.
Amazing.
How does all of this
add up to you having a case against them?
Two plus two in this case equals four, Adam.
Well, listen, I'm not a lawyer and I, like Scott will be-
And I will be.
Yeah, by the end of the day.
But I think-
Habeas corpus, Adam.
Are you saying that as like lawyer language?
Ipso facto.
Okay, that means nothing.
Yeah, to a non-lawyer such as yourself.
Such as yourself, correct?
Esquire, ever heard of it?
Don't get all high and mighty with me
just because you're going to be a lawyer.
That's like me saying,
I'm gonna be a CIA special agent by the end of the month.
You're what now?
I'm gonna be a CIA special agent by the end of the month.
Hold on, okay, Randy, hold on one second.
I gotta talk to Adam.
I'm gonna back away from the mic.
Oh my God, you're gonna do,
you're gonna be the CIA?
Did I stutter?
Say it again.
Let me see if you do.
I'm going to be a CIA special agent.
Yeah, you just did stutter.
That's why I didn't understand.
End of the month.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's going on?
Did I stutter?
Yes, you did.
That's why I didn't understand you.
Sorry, I've just been stuttering lately when I'm
talking about my CIA training.
Well, that's because you're nervous.
You've got to get over this, bro.
It's terrifying.
You know what they do to train you to be a CIA
special agent analyst?
What's that?
They bring you up into an airplane.
Oh my God, that sounds horrible already.
I mean, you know, Randy over here,
he's done it three times recently, but not me.
Have you been up in an airplane, Randy?
Oh, you watched the lake house in an airplane.
So you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I've been driving ever since because I got so mad about that.
Oh my gosh.
It's incredibly, incredibly infuriating, but also scary.
Yeah, absolutely. You're not close to the ground at all. You're way up there.
Yeah, man was never meant to play God.
Like when you're up in an airplane, it's completely different from being in a car.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like a car with wings and that's something that I don't even want to think about in my
America.
Well, if you had a car and it had wings on it, you'd be like saying to yourself, like,
why does this thing have wings?
Yeah, it's like flap, flap, flap, go fly away car.
What am I going to go shit on someone's head?
Seriously, I'm going to go drive and land
on a statue or something?
It's like it doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, but you should shit on somebody's head, man.
Send a message.
I would love to shit on someone's head.
That's what it really comes down to.
Yeah.
In planes, you can't put ice in the toilets in planes.
That ice is really melting, by the way, I have to say.
Oh, yeah.
You've been here so long.
There's a lot of precipitation coming out
the sides of that container. Well, I pissed to say. Oh, yeah, it is. You've been here so long. There's a lot of precipitation coming out the sides of that container.
Well, I pissed in it right before I came in.
OK.
Why are you carrying a bucket that you pissed in of ice?
I don't know.
It's like a calling card, you know?
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, it kind of announces what you do and who you are.
Yeah, I remember Home Alone.
They were the Wet Bandits.
Sure.
And me, I carry around a bucket full of ice that I pissed in.
Someone once told me, never do a reference
unless you can make a second reference.
So I would love to hear a second reference to Home Alone.
To Home Alone?
Sure.
Okay, yeah, sure.
All right, you know, Kevin, you know.
That's pretty basic.
I thought that was great.
Thank you.
All right.
Now who said that about the references?
This guy I did, this guy who came in,
this guy Don Darling who did the show about a month ago.
Anyway, but- Yeah, sounds like a pretty cool dude. guy Don Darling, who did the show about a month ago. Anyway, but.
Sounds like a pretty cool dude.
He does.
That guy sounds like a kick-ass dude.
Yeah.
But that's all you got is Kevin?
No, I got a ton more.
OK.
Like, dude, quit grilling me.
Like, I want to see Adam shit on your head now, you know?
OK, that's true.
You're going to keep sassing me like that.
I want to see a hot load sitting on the top of your head.
I want to put a hat on it too.
And I want you to pull it off and scratch your head and put your hand in his
shit.
I guess maybe like if it were a stovepipe, it would, you know, like,
well, he's not going to balance this shit long, like lengthwise on your head.
It's like a game of Jenga or something. It's just like stacked up there.
Just one Jenga thing standing up long wise. No, I got a ton of, dude, I got a ton of Home Alone references.
I saw that thing in June in theaters.
Wait, June? This past June?
Yeah, this past June.
You went to a theater to see this.
Was it this on your own portable device?
Yeah, absolutely.
What was the real movie playing?
The real movie that was playing?
Yeah.
Let's see, in June, it was, was, oh I know this. Oh you know
this? Yeah it was the overnight. That film there that Adam was so upset about, tell me
you love me, showing a fake penis that he decided to show his real penis in? That's
when I pulled out my own device and started watching Home Alone again. I'm not dealing
with this fake penis. I need real, I need real. No, that was his real peen.
That was real dick.
And in Home Alone.
Jesus Christ, that was a nice dick.
In Home Alone, there's a bunch of real dicks as well, right?
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
When Daniel Stern pulls out,
when Daniel Stern first is alone in the van.
Sure.
He's like, these guys are Home Alone,
I'm finally alone in this van.
Yeah. Whip. Time to crank. Crank, crank, crank, these guys are home alone, I'm finally alone in this van. Whip.
Time to crank.
Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank.
The way that he jerks off sounds like a car motor turning over.
It's so weird that people never talk about that scene.
It's a strange scene, but it's a holiday classic.
Yeah, no.
And then
the mom yells Kevin and he blows his load all over the inside of the windshield. Yeah. They don't have
wipers for that. Yeah. And he has ghosts come all over his face. Well, I know that. You know that.
I never saw that in film. So you can see it in movies. In movies. Oh yeah, it's mainly in movies.
And who had the most ghosts come on their face in Home Alone? Oh, in Home Alone? Oh, okay, well, Kevin, obviously.
Uh-huh.
That's why she yells Kevin.
And it was Michael Jackson's cum from after he died.
He went back in time and did it in Home Alone.
So if there's real cum on someone's face,
when they die it turns into ghost cum?
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, see?
It all makes sense.
It's like a magic mailbox of come.
Sure.
Sure.
And that guy salting the streets, he blows his load a ton in that movie.
And he's like, Kevin!
Anyway, all great references.
You mean the old man with the thing? The guy that ends up being kind of the hero of the
film?
Yeah. Remember when he's like Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi and then he blows his load?
All good references.
Well, I think you have a case.
Yeah, right?
So the Lake House is based off my movie.
Anybody?
Your movie.
Wait, you made a movie about this?
Yeah.
Well, the movie of my life.
Oh, sure.
But you made a movie.
Yeah, I made it.
Yeah, yeah.
So you made like a biopic of yourself.
Yeah, I made it off my My Touch, my T-Mobile My Touch phone.
Oh, great.
How'd it come out?
Pretty terrible. It's really grainy. How'd it come out? Pretty terrible.
It's really grainy.
How long is it?
Minute and a half.
Okay.
I wanna see this thing.
That's a quick bio-pay.
Can you play it for us?
Sure, I just gotta log into my MySpace account.
Okay, no problem.
We have nothing but time here.
It's down.
My MySpace account only has some of my
recorded cover size.
Oh man, that's too bad. Well when we
come back from break I want you to play this thing. All right well while we're on
break if anybody wants to help fill this. Yeah no problem yeah I definitely do.
We know Adam will. I can really smell it right now. Your pee mixing with that ice
is really creating a bit of an odor. Yeah yeah I made myself a spinach
turmeric smoothie before I came here. Okay great. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.
Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here and Adam has some biz, a little biz he's taking care of on the old smartphone.
You know the thing about having a smartphone these days, Scott, is that Oh I know!
It's like carrying around an office with you
An office right in your pocket
You can always be working the drawback, the average workday now
It's like when do you clock out?
It stretches into 9, 10 p.m.
But a smartphone is almost like a little tiny cubicle that you can put around yourself and
just get down to biz, you know what I mean?
I'm carrying around my office right now too.
Yeah, that's really starting to smell.
It's really bad.
Now Scott, why didn't you just run to the restroom?
Why did you have to pee into the bucket?
Well, it's right here.
I mean, the restroom is three buildings away
because we don't like people going to the restroom
around here.
And Dodomeos is like two miles away.
Yeah, I thought about that.
I did. It was really tempting.
Plus I have a nice T-bone here.
Oh, that'd be great.
We'd have to sear it first though.
On the hood of my car, it runs hot.
What's going on with your car?
It's overheating a lot?
Yeah, it's a real bad scene.
What kind of car do you have?
I got an 89 Camaro.
89? Wow, that's a great year for Camaros. Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Pretty old car at this point.
I'm no wonder it's running hot.
Yeah, it's running real hot.
I've never put oil into it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it needs some.
Oh, you think?
Yeah, I think the real simple solution for that
just put some oil in that bad boy.
Do you ever throw any water into the old radiator?
Sometimes I throw ice on the top and I piss on it. Yeah, see that's-
That's just as good.
No, not at all.
It's actually, if you don't put water in the radiator
and like Scott said, oil into the engine,
your car is not going to work.
I don't know.
Wait, we got car talk over here.
You know what I mean?
It's just basic common sense.
Hey, car talk.
You wanna take some calls? Sure. Okay, it's just basic common sense. Hey, Card Talk. You want to take some calls?
Sure, I mean, I...
Okay, let's take some calls.
Here we go.
Bring, bring, bring.
Hi, is this Card Talk?
Yeah, this is Card Talk.
Hey, I got a car and I want to talk about it.
Sure, what's your question?
I don't have a question, I just want to talk about my car.
Okay, what kind of car you got?
It's a 2020 Prius.
2020 Prius? It was a magic Prius! A 2020 Prius?
It was a magic mailbox situation, someone mailed it to me!
Okay, listen, what you're gonna want to do-
BABABOOEE HA FUCK YOU!
Alright, alright.
Wow, that guy was rude.
Being a radio host is tough.
It's tough these days.
With the BABABOOEE situation going on?
It's rampant BABABOOEE everywhere.
Oh my gosh.
Can't believe how long he talked before he dropped the BABABOOEE camera.
He really lulled a send to a false sense of security
Baba booy. Yeah. Oh wait. Did you come on this show just to say baba booy? Yeah
Oh, man, things whole thing was just a Randy snuts. You just wanted to say baba booy. Yeah, this isn't even my piss
Is it some guy right outside? I was like, hey, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Why are you walking so fast and the guys?
No more details needed all right yeah all right well we have to get to our next guest says here is a he's a podcast guest oh that's an interesting
interesting like a professional podcast or just a I guess what it means is he's
a guest on this podcast that's Okay, I'm going to be filming my podcast after this.
Camel it early Alexia, your microphone is available.
I'm Thibaut LeBeau.
Yes, I was about to announce you.
Thibaut LeBeau.
Who is Thibaut LeBeau?
I'm the undisputed king of Europe trash, luxury, clubs,
yachts, Mykonos, we do it all.
Oh boy.
Sorry, what's his name?
Thibaut Lebeau.
Thibaut Lebeau.
Is that your real name?
Thibaut Lebeau, oui c'est vrai.
Yes, of course it's my real name.
Adam Scott, is that your real name?
Well, yeah, I mean, sure.
I've never asked you that before.
Is that your real name?
Of course it is.
You never changed your name for the biz?
I almost did at one point, but I...
Wait, what'd you almost change it to?
What'd you got to change to, Adams?
I almost changed it to Adam Cordero.
Did you really?
I did.
Why?
You fucking piece of shit.
I was like 18 years old and I thought it sounded cool.
Adam Scott is classic.
You know what every man desires?
Two first names. Thank you very much.
I don't know, I kind of prefer Adam Cordero. Well of course you're like Thibaut Leveau over here.
Confirmation that I made the right decision. And so that's Adam Cordero. Hello Thibaut,
welcome to the show. I'm Scott, this is Scott, and of course we have Randy Snutsu. I don't even
know if you work for Dodomeos. Yeah dude dude. I absolutely do. Well, I mean I deliver ice and then I put them in the urinals and then I
GTFO
Wait that the mere that place you need to cook your own food. Yeah. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, Dodomeos
Wait, you cook more than beef there. Can you cook anything there? I mean, it's BYO whatever
Well, do you have to sear everything before you bring it in or? Absolutely, dude. Like even broccoli if I wanted broccoli.
Oh yeah, you can't just come in there with raw broccoli.
So you sear the bro- this sounds like a giant pain in the ass.
Dude.
I don't think so, I mean if you have a nice chef's kitchen at home.
Well okay, what if you don't?
Then like don't go to Dodomio's, it's that simple.
Yeah, don't spend the 300 bucks at Dodomio's then, just stay in your own shitty house.
Okay, okay.
I'll go to Katsuya, I'll go to Katsuya, any boutique hotel, they have the best restaurants.
Oh, yeah.
You guys stay in boutique hotels?
Well, you know, I usually just...
I don't know, we actually do.
Adam Cordero would have stayed in a boutique hotel.
Yeah, he probably would.
Adam Scott probably stay in Best Western.
No, no, I've stayed...
That's true, I like this guy now.
No, I've stayed in nice hotels true. I like this guy now. No, I've stayed. I've stayed in nice hotels.
Oh yeah?
What hotel you stayed?
The Double Tree?
Yeah, double the fun.
Go fuck yourself.
I like this guy.
I like you.
I didn't even do anything.
I like you, Thibaut.
I'm just sitting here.
Adam Scott.
Go fuck yourself.
This guy sucks.
No.
Let me guess.
You put sunscreen on.
Fuck.
You don't put sunscreen on, Thibaut?
No, man. I let the sun put the screening on me.
I don't think that's-
Okay, well, you will get skin cancer.
Nah, well, I don't want to talk about this.
You don't, wait, do you already have skin cancer?
You totally brought it up.
I have cancer in my family, I had a retinol not-
Well, you can put some sunscreen on then, my boy.
You can't put sunscreen on lymphoma.
You have lymphoma?
I don't have lymphoma, but later on lymphoma I'm a family.
That's so sad, I'm sorry.
It's okay though, we go to clubs tonight, we go to One Oak, I don't even wait in line,
we are going to get the sparkles, we have going to have the best time.
Okay, hey, Thibaut, tell me about your life.
What is, I mean, you say you're the undisputed king of, what is this now? T-Ball Labo, the undisputed king of Euro trash. Follow me at T-Ball Labo,
undisputed king of Euro trash. I don't think, I think that's too long for Twitter.
I don't have any room to write messages, but I follow back. Uh, and, uh,
I, my life is a life of-
Are you part of team follow back?
Uh, it's the only team to be a part of, you know, team follow back.
So you just follow people, you don't tweet messages?
I don't have enough room, I have one letter.
After you do the at, T-bo-le-bo,
the undisputed king of your church.
Yeah, you only have one character left.
Maybe you could come up with an abbreviation or something
so you can tweet.
Oh, I'm getting name advice from Adam Cordero.
Oh yeah.
Oh, hey.
Put a lid on it, Cordero.
Oh, Mr. Cordero, what you that change my name to, huh?
I thought maybe someone like you would like to tweet out,
you know, messages of some sort to your followers.
But if you don't, that's fine.
They know, they know.
I think he knows what he's doing.
He's the undisputed king.
That's why I started podcast to have a place
to talk about luxury, to talk about boutique hotel I started podcast to have a place to talk about luxury,
to talk about boutique hotel, to talk about the art, to talk about...
You have a podcast?
... Central Play.
Is that what you're saying?
I'm starting a podcast.
You're starting one?
Oh, okay. I would love to bid on this.
I'd love to first of all represent you, Randy, a little later.
Thanks, dude.
Do you even have a case or did you...
Or was that all a lie just to say bye bye Bowie?
Blast it. Bye bye Bowie. Oh, man man! Okay, I'm not gonna be a lawyer now.
So your life wasn't the lake house? No, but I mean in the sense of like
everybody's life is kind of like the lake house. If they use the post office, you know.
That's a good point. All right, anyway, you're not here to say Baba Booey, are you?
No, no, no. I don't even know what this is, Baba Booey. Okay.
I'm here to tell you that I am going to start a podcast.
OK, I'd love to bid on it.
I'd love to be part of my network here.
I don't need you to bid.
I'm Thibaut LeBeau.
I have enough money to buy.
I bid on your podcast.
Wait, are you part of the top 1% of the top 1% as well?
I don't even show you how my money is.
They don't even know.
It's hidden offshore.
What is your podcast?
What is the title of it?
It's called Actible Le Beau,
the Undisputed King of Euro Trash.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
It is going to be a great podcast
about living life of luxury,
of going to club, of dating, you know,
mothers and princess.
So you date a lot of supermodels even, or just models?
Super duper models.
Super duper, that's a category
that I have never even heard of.
I've heard of supermodels.
Sure, let's list them off.
Cindy Crawford.
Oh, classic.
That mole?
Yeah, sure, she's beautiful.
I piss on her.
You piss on her?
Whoa, dude, don't do that.
Piss on a bucket of ice.
Friggin' creep.
I've noticed that your answer to most questions is,
pshh.
Yeah, what is that about?
Are you scoffing at us?
No, but it's just a pshh.
You know, it's sometimes you say something,
I listen and pshh, it comes out.
Okay, sometimes out of my, you know, however hole,
I have a little bit of a pshh.
Sure.
Is it similar to that or?
Pfft.
No.
You guys don't even know.
You live on a different plane of the reality.
Yeah, I don't know.
You don't even know.
I mean, your life seems incredible.
Luxury.
Clubs?
Clubs.
You ever been to Hakkasan?
Hakkasan is the best.
I see billboards for it everywhere.
Hakkasan is the best. What is that? It's somewhere in Las Vegas. Oh, it's the best. I see billboards for it everywhere. Haka-san is the best.
What is that?
Is it somewhere in Las Vegas?
Oh, it's the best club in Vegas.
Tiesto was just there.
It's like Steve Aoki billboard.
Oh, I've seen that.
Haka-san.
Steve is a friend.
Steve is a friend.
That does not surprise me.
So, since we live in a completely different reality,
and there's no way we will ever touch whatever it is
you're doing, bring us into your reality.
What are you doing here?
Okay, listen, you know how you guys are waiting
in the line for the club?
All the time, that's one of my-
Constantly, every weekend.
It takes up so much time, it's like nine hours
waiting in line for this club.
It's always worth it though, once you get in.
Of course, I'm the guy who pulls up in the Diablo
and just get up door like this and get out.
You get to go into the club ahead of the line.
Do you ever close that door to the Diablo
or does the door remain open?
Cause that's kind of like a car.
You don't even know, you don't even know
you just walk in the club.
Those Diablo doors that go up,
that's kind of like a car with wings.
In a way. It's true.
Which is completely unnecessary
cause it's not gonna fly.
It's not gonna fly away.
Why do you have a car with wings, Thibaut?
Well, you know, I have a plane with wings,
I have a car with wing, I have a yacht with wing.
Your yacht has wings.
The door to open the yacht, it goes up like this.
The door to open the yacht, wow, that's amazing.
Have you ever been on a yacht, Mr. Camus?
Let me think. Can I check my calendar? Have you ever been on a yacht, Mr. Arkhamen? Let me think. Can I check my calendar?
Have you ever been on a yacht, Mr. Cordell?
I haven't checked my calendar. This guy just moves on to Scott over here.
I'm opening up my iCal.
I think I have been on a yacht actually, sure.
Maybe not one as luxurious as what you've been on.
How many feet was this yacht, Mr. Cordell?
And man, Mr. Scott, I don't... Man, I have no idea How many feet was this yacht, Mr. Coleradero? And man, it's Scott, Mr. Scott.
I don't, man, I have no idea how many feet it was.
The minute you got on it, you didn't like pace out the feet.
What do you do?
You ask the person. From stern to, not stem.
What's the opposite of stern?
Bow? It's a bow.
Baba booey.
Okay.
All right, wait, you've only been doing this for-
This is all for, so I can see-
Motherfucker! All of it, all of it. This is the long con. Yep. Oh my God. Okay. All right. Wait, you've only been doing this all for so I can say
Long con yep. Oh my god. What's it been like six years since I first appeared? Oh my god Yeah, wow, you got a boy. Baba boy. How was there's penis Baba boy fucking got me
I gotta admit Wow dropping the Baba boy hammer. Oh, this is a terrible day for me. It's a Baba boy what this
Oh, this is a terrible day for me. This is a Baba Bui, what is...
It's a thing, Howard Stern, do you know Howard Stern?
It's probably not the kind of thing you'd be into.
It's not like, you know, Tiesto or...
Is it like Paul Van Dyke?
No, it's not like that.
It's not like Paul Van Dyke.
He's a DJ, but he's not like Calvin Harris
or anything like that.
Oh, you know Calvin?
Yeah, I know, well, I mean, I don't know him personally.
Are you friends with Calvin Harris? He's a friend, you know Calvin? Yeah, I know, well, I mean, I don't know him personally. Are you friends with Calvin Harris?
I know he's a friend, you know,
and on my friend's birthday,
I tweet out the first initial of their name.
Because you only have one flavor, yeah.
So June 28th, see.
And he sees that, no pun intended, he sees.
Yeah.
And he knows it's about him.
I like this.
You like this?
I like this.
I like this. This is good. I like this. I like this.
This is good.
I feel like that's the first thing
you've kind of clicked into with Scott or I
is when he made that joke about C.
Well, I mean, we were making fun of you earlier.
I like that.
Yeah.
That was funny.
That's true, that's true.
You did very much click into that.
And let me tell you, on your birthday,
I'm also going to put a C for Cordero.
Cordero actually starts with a Q.
Just so you know.
Oh, wait it did?
Oh.
Oh, this gets worse and fucking worse.
My mother's maiden name is Corderaro,
so I was shortening it to sound more cool.
Wow.
So it was like a Nick Cage situation where you were-
Nick Cage?
Do you know Nick Cage? No, who's that?
He's no way
Did you have oh because his last name was Coppola Coppola? Yeah, but he was cheap
I wasn't trying to hide an incredibly famous name in the film industry. I was just trying to shorten a long
Name so how would you have spelled Cordero then?
Q you
Pft
QE Q you a-O-L. P-F-T-F-T.
Q-U-A-R-D-E-R-O.
Cordero.
Pfft.
Pfft.
I didn't hear any of that.
Someone was dropping some lethal blood.
Oh yeah, sorry Tebow,
there is a microphone down at your butt.
You should know that.
Yeah, I hope you don't mind.
Every seat.
Really?
Yeah.
Ah, boom. Ah. Tebow, you know, that. Yeah, I hope you don't mind. Every seat. Really? Yeah. Ah, bon.
Ti-bo, you know, over at De Domio's,
we grill up our own T-bones.
And your name is Ti-bo, care to comment?
You know, I get this a lot.
I bet.
I get this a lot,
cause you know in America, you say Ti-bo,
people think Ti-bone.
And to them-
Well, we're a meat and potatoes country. Tell me about. You know, what do you eat say people think, ah, tibon, and to tell... Well, we're a meat and potatoes country.
Tell me about.
You know, what do you eat when you go to the restaurants?
Like, what kind of food do you have?
A lot of sashimi.
A lot of sashimi.
Do you have mercury poisoning?
A lot of, well, I'd rather not discuss.
You don't want to discuss your mercury.
So you have mercury poisoning.
And lymphoma?
Okay, again, this is not about me.
Are you dying?
Oh my god.
Scott, he's breaking down.
I wasn't prepared.
You shouldn't ask a question if you're not prepared for the answer.
Oh my god, are you all right?
Why do you think he is this?
Come over here, let me pat you on the back.
Merci, merci, merci, merci thank you, thank you.
Is that why you have an IV with you?
That is a great beat, Scott.
Is it like 160 BPM or something?
Yeah, I noticed you brought it in an IV bag and you have.
Yes, and I don't have any hair.
This was not a choice.
And you're wearing a hospital gown.
I didn't want to bring it up.
I just thought these were like cool clothes
or something like that.
Thibaut is falling on some very tough times.
So sorry.
And you know, it is all coming at the same time.
I'm so sorry this is hitting you right now.
I just, I have Kleinfelder syndrome.
What?
I have lupus. Oh, that sounds terrible. I don't even know What? I have lupus.
Oh, that sounds terrible.
I don't even know what that is.
Lupus.
Oh, lupus.
Lupus.
I have this.
It's interesting how they pronounce it, lupus.
Lupus, it sounds beautiful.
Yeah, that's what I-
Sounds like a dessert.
Yeah, a little hair pie dessert.
It doesn't. Lupus.
Hell yeah, dude.
Don't be afraid.
Stop high-fiving me.
Sorry, dude. Real men do it it man. Real men get down there.
Get down where?
You know dude, Lapousse.
Stop high-fiving Adam now!
Could you?
Okay. Dude, you loved it.
We were trying to listen to this guy's diseases and we're...
Sorry dude. Yeah, I got off track.
No.
Stop talking about Lapousse.
Anyway, what else do you have?
I don't know man. Baba booey. Shut up! Yeah, I got off track. No. Stop talking about Lapousse. Anyway, what else do you have?
Baba booey.
Shut up.
Shut up.
God damn, it's not the place.
He's telling us he's dying.
Sorry, God.
No, forget it, forget it.
No, tell us about the rest of your decisions.
No, he's going to just say,
Baba booey, and he's going.
I got it in, I'm sorry.
Mesothelioma.
Oh, my God. Do you have ghost, calm and cold?
I have ghost, calm. I do not have ghost, cold.
I didn't want to say you have the most out of anyone in this room.
Is that so?
Yeah, it is bad.
You've probably been wanting to say something this whole time.
Oh, I have. He looks like Rorschach from The Watchmen.
It's incredible.
And I can make other references to that, by the way.
Night Owl.
One more Watchmen reference right now.
Okay, you got The Times They Are a-Changin'.
That's that shitty song that he plays.
That was in the movie.
Yeah, that was in the movie.
All right.
You got the dead dog.
Anyway.
Tay-Sachs disease.
Tay-Sachs disease!
Wow!
This is incredible.
I mean, that is rare. Dude, sex? Stop high-fiving him about Tay-Sachs disease. Wow, this is incredible. I mean, that is rare.
Dude, stop high-fiving him about Tasex disease.
He said sex, dude.
Yeah, that's true.
Get down there.
I'll give you one.
Hell yeah.
Adam?
Sure.
Hell yeah, dude.
Hell yeah.
We're talking Lapuce.
We're talking Tasex.
We're slamming it.
How about taste sax?
How about just taste sex?
Yeah, taste the sex.
Yeah, get my reed wet.
Oh my God, he's really, he's crying.
So anyway, I'm going to be dead probably in five to 10 minutes.
Are you recording a podcast or are you recording your last will and testament?
Well, that is why I came here. Because my lawyer couldn't fit me in.
Oh, OK.
Sounds like you have a lot of valuable possessions
you would need to assign.
By the way, if you need a new lawyer,
it sounds like you don't have much time on this earth,
but I'd love to represent you tonight.
Are you a lawyer?
I will be tonight.
I don't think he's going to be here tonight, buddy.
I don't know.
Prove to me that you're going to be a lawyer.
Havis Corpus, ipso facto.
He's a lawyer.
Yeah.
Oh, god. you know what?
He's not.
This was fate, Scott.
This is fate that I come here.
Yeah.
Let me pre-law you a little bit here.
Like I'm not a lawyer yet,
but I think that once I pass the bar,
I can just backdate it or post-date it,
I think is the proper way to say that.
So I'll do whatever you wanna do.
Who are your loved ones out there?
Who do you love? Bo Diddley once asked that famously. Okay. Who do you love? Okay. You know,
I already did mention Tiësto. Yes, you did mention Tiësto. All of these DJs. Yeah. Should
we just list the DJs and we can just put them on your will? Well, most of them I'm friends with, you know, just the house, music, Boudabart.
Boudabart? Who's that?
Boudabart is a hotel in Paris. They have also a club and also they put out an album every year.
So you want to leave some of your money to them?
Yeah, I want to give them.
How much money do you have? What is the total sum of your estate?
Well, I only... Okay, I have euros only.
Okay, well, I can transfer that or convert in my head.
So how many euros do you have?
I have 15,000 euros.
Okay.
But let's say we cash in your private jets and your expensive cars.
Yeah, the yachts and all those.
Right.
Do you own any of those?
I had to sell them all.
Whoa.
To pay for my medical bill.
Oh, so you only have the total sum of your estate at this point is 15,000 euros?
So that's like $30,000, is that?
$20,000.
Somewhere in there, yeah.
This is embarrassing, you know, I didn't want to talk about number on the air.
I know, I mean, you're the indisputed king of Eurotrash.
I have an image. I have an image to avoid.
And you want to leave your $20,000 or so to these famous DJs?
Yeah, mostly to Tia Stowe.
Mostly to Tia Stowe.
They have so much money, those guys make tons of money.
They make $2 million anytime they press play. Let alone stop.
Or pause.
I hate it when a DJ presses pause in the middle of a set.
It's like, just play through.
It's like a golf game.
When I'm too slow, just play through.
Play through.
Play through.
Play through.
That's why I'm shouting a Tiesto all the time.
He gets really annoyed.
He has a restraining order against me.
Tiesto?
Yeah, so I may not be able to serve him these papers.
Well, he has a restraining order against me too.
He does? But I thought you guys were friends.
That's the whole reason I came to get someone else who can go and serve the... Adam Cordero.
Oh man, I have a...
Cordero.
I need you to... Adam Cordero. Cordero.
Adam, it's not my name. Wait, it's pronounced Cordero, but Cordero. Cordero. It's pronounced. Adam, it's not my name.
It's Dero.
It's pronounced, wait, it's pronounced Cordero,
but it's spelled Cordero.
Yeah, interesting.
Q-U-A.
What an interesting guy.
I want to learn more about him.
Oh, I'm going to watch one of his movies.
Oh.
You would have been hired for every diversity role
in Hollywood if you were Adam Cordero.
With that beard, you might still.
Oh, la la.
You know, I have a, you need this done tonight?
Adam, I need you to go to Haka-san in Vegas tonight.
Oh, Jesus.
You know, I have plans tonight.
It's not even a briefcase full of money.
It's just a coin pouch with a check in it.
Yeah, he has plans.
He was gonna sit his kids down,
push them around those wheelchairs.
I was gonna tell him about how I went,
Scott and I just like,
Fucked.
Fucked.
Yeah.
Listen.
Well, that can wait, that can wait.
We gotta help this guy.
I can do this one favor for you
since you're gonna pass away in a matter of minutes.
Yes.
What is it you want me to do?
By the way, you've wet yourself.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
The front of your hospital gown is tired.
I don't have a bladder.
Well, we have a bucket right here you could have gone in.
Yeah, come on, dude.
I'm waiting to fill this up.
I should have thought about this.
Yeah.
Literally, he has a T-shirt on that says,
Pee in my bucket.
Yeah, wait a minute.
Is this the guy that you took the bucket from outside?
Oh my God, I didn't even recognize you.
Oh my God, You're that guy
Yeah, sorry. I was running. I was wearing sunglasses and oh and I was wearing my gown
But but it's a lot of people wear the gown outside. Oh, I already got your piss in this box
Randy yeah, you want to do me a favor? Yeah. All right, Randy
Uh-huh. I want you to take this coin pouch with a check
with 15,000 euro to Calvin Harris in her cousin.
Oh, so now I don't have to do it anymore?
I think you would let off the hook.
Okay.
What about the bucket?
He has to go tell his children that he fuck.
Yeah, he's got a good excuse.
If you were to tell that to a judge,
a jury or an executioner, he would let you off.
Sure, well, not the executioner.
Yeah, maybe not.
What about the bucket?
Do you want him to take the bucket as well?
Take the bucket.
Oh, thank God, dude.
Take the bucket.
I'm driving, I'm not flying.
And I want you to do this.
Get Calvin Harris to pee in the bucket.
And then I want you to cremate me.
And then I want you to pour Calvin Harris's urine and ice on top of my ashes.
This is a dream come true.
Wow.
I thought I was just coming for a podcast, but.
You thought you were just coming to say,
ba ba booey.
Yeah, no kidding.
Wow.
You have a full list of tasks.
Yeah, I do, yeah.
Well, all right.
You can do it though.
This is what I'll tell you.
If anyone can, I believe in you.
Thank you guys. Guy I just met. Well, I appreciate it, all right. But Randy do it though. This is what I'll tell you. If anyone can, I believe in you. Thank you guys.
Die I just met.
Well, I appreciate it, all right?
But Randy Snuts is someone that you can trust.
And T-Bo, I wanna let you know from the bottom of my heart
that no matter what happens on my adventure
to deliver this to Calvin Harris, bye bye booey.
Oh, motherfucker!
God damn it!
No!
Hell yeah, dude, hell yeah.
Oh, it was my last week.
Oh, and now you're about to die, right?
Oh, you look like you're fading.
Oh, man.
I don't feel so good.
Oh, no.
Is this happening here in the studio?
Yeah, I think it's happening.
Oh, my God.
Is there anything we can do with you?
Do you want me to hold your hand?
Oh, I just want to say one last thing before I go. Sure, anything.
Go ahead.
Robin.
Robin?
That's, isn't that, that's another person from the Howard Sterns?
Yeah, yeah, Robin Quivers.
I thought that's what we're all doing, just name people from the-
Wait, you came on this just to say Robin Quivers?
Oh my God.
Oh my God, I can't believe it.
What are we going to do with this body, you guys? I don't believe it. What are we gonna do with this body you guys?
All right, so we'll just put it on Todd's body. We can also just put it on ice.
It's not just ice. My nephew Todd's over there. We'll just stack them up. Okay. Yeah, don't worry about it.
I even noticed there was another body in there. Yeah, he passed away a little while ago.
Well, all right, I guess there's only one thing to do and that's our final feature on the
show. It's a little something called Plugs.
Now it's time for, now it's time for, now it's time for a little thing called Plugs.
Oh, nice and short. I appreciate that. Did we cut it off at all? No, that was it. All right,
I appreciate that. That's Joe Blankenship. Hey, Joe, that's called Time for Plugs. Nice, short, sweet to the point. I like it. It had a wonderful melody.
I liked it very much. The most beautiful melody I've ever heard.
I believe I burped right in the middle of that word. All right guys, what are we plugging?
Adam, what do you got? What's happening? Uh, nothing right now. I guess I would plug, uh,
well, just stuff that's out on like iTunes and stuff.
Go watch the overnight.
It's a good film.
Yeah, overnight, uh, sleeping with other people's on.
How much is it to rent the overnight?
Like say it's three bucks.
The overnight is now on Netflix,
so you can just go watch it.
Just go watch it.
How much do you get in the backend?
Or did they give you all the money upfront?
Who, Netflix?
Yeah. Yeah, they just give you money and then...
They just give you money, there's no back end on it?
I don't think so.
So you don't care if they watch it or not?
No, other than enriching their lives.
But it's not enriching your pocketbook, so what do you care?
Exactly.
Exactamundo, my friend.
How much money did you make on that film?
In euros.
We made a couple thousand euros.
Couple thousand?
Yeah.
Not bad, not bad.
So go watch The Overnight, go watch Krampus, it's probably rentable at this point.
Yes, Krampus.
Uh, Krampus is a really fun movie.
HGTM2 is out there constantly.
It's never gonna go away.
That's not disappearing, a la Ratatouille. From your IMDB page. is out there constantly. It's never going to go away.
That's not disappearing a la Ratatouille from your IMDB
page.
It's true.
Oh, we talked about that before the show.
I thought it was a callback, but it's
a callback to a conversation.
All right, Randy, what do you have to plug here?
I mean, other than coming to check me out and tip me
at Dodomeo's, a good friend
of mine named Tim Balz is gonna be-
He's a friend?
Yeah, he's a good friend of mine.
Where do you know him from?
Basically just his Twitter presence where he retweets like fun articles that his friends
have tagged him in.
Sounds good.
At Tim underscore Balz.
I gotta follow this guy.
But he's coming out, he's gonna be in a show on CISO,
which is NBC Digital's platform called the Jillion Dollar Property, so look for that. That's gonna be
a great show with some great people. Oh, that sounds like a fun show. Oh, hey, I'm on that too. Yeah,
I think you're on the first episode. Yeah, I'll plug that as well. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah,
you came by and did the first episode of that. I have, I think I'm on that too. Yeah, hey guys.
Holy shit, you're not going to believe this. Whoa, you're alive!
What?
Well, for the plug.
Oh, okay. Wait, you're gonna die right after the plugs?
Of course.
Teebo, welcome back, man.
What are we not gonna believe?
I was going to plug a friend of mine
who's also going to be on the CISO show.
Who's his friend?
Great guy, his name is Dan Adut.
Make sure that on March 29th you tweet a letter D.
It's his birthday.
Okay, just a tiny D.
What about a picture of a D, a dick?
Ease her.
Like the eggplant emoji.
If there's room.
If there's room.
If you have the characters to afford, I don't.
He does, his Twitter is at standupdan.
Standupdan, because he's a standup as well as being a funny improviser and actor.
Funny guy going to be on CISO bajillion dollar property.
Oh, this is amazing.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Wow, I will not, oh my God, he died again.
And he's farting while he's,
that's sometimes the body does that. It just, you know, uncontrollably farts.
His farts are just dismissive gestures.
Just scoffing noises. Wow.
I want to plug, yeah, Bagillion is coming out soon in March and comedy bang bang TV show, of course, coming out soon.
We got Weird Al as our new band leader.
We're filming that right now.
And that's going to be fun.
So let's close up the old plug bag.
Gonna listen to some plugs.
Gonna listen to some plugs.
Gonna listen to some plugs.
Gonna get my info out.
Gonna get my jobs on talks about.
Gonna listen to some plugs. Talk about my jobs. Gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs,
gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs.
All right, guys, this was a fun episode.
I want to thank my guests.
Of course, T-Bo's dead, which is too bad, but it's T-Bad.
He died with a smile on his face.
He did, and constantly farting. Listen to him, Jesus.
Wow.
Randy, thanks to you, I guess.
I don't know why I'm thanking you.
You were pranking me.
I'm thanking for pranking.
I got some good information out there.
Use your power, guys.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm back.
Oh my God.
Just for the sanks.
Well, thank you so much.
You're welcome. Oh my God. Just for the thanks. Oh, well thank you so much. You're welcome.
Oh my God.
This guy is breaking medical records.
He's three times, or twice he came back to life,
three times he died.
And Adam, thank you so much.
Thank you, Scott.
Great.
It was a pleasure to be here.
And of course we want to give a shout out
to our good friend Harris. It's been a year at this point. It seems weird to give a shout out to our good friend Harris.
It's been a year at this point.
It seems weird to give a shout out.
Yeah.
But hey.
I think he's listening.
I think he might be listening.
I'd like to imagine a heaven where his only entertainment is listening to this episode.
For eternity.
And if anyone is out there putting Ghostcom on people's faces, it's him.
It's Harris Whittles.
Alright, thanks guys, we'll see you next week.
Bye!
Bye!