Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Adam Scott, Will Hines, Jessica McKenna (Teenage Dirtbag)

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Originally titled "This Is Your Boy Troy", this is the last installment of our Teenage Dirtbag series featuring "Your Boy Troy", played by Jessica McKenna. Scott and Scott are reunited as Adam Scott of U Talkin’ U2 To Me? fame returns to this week’s Comedy Bang! Bang! Adam Scott Aukerman chat about Adam’s graduation from mime school, Chris Kelly’s new film Other People, and for a new episode of Getting Real. Then, entertainer Jack Sparks arrives to show us why they call him the King of the 2nd Act. Plus, a politician who calls themselves This Is Your Boy Troy stops by to talk about the platform they will be running on. (Originally released as Episode #443 on 9/5/16) Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

Hey everyone, and welcome to another bonus bang where we re-release great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall. This is your host, Scott Aukerman, and this week we are wrapping up our Teenage Dirtbag series featuring some of the fun teenage characters we've had on the show over the years. And this week we're featuring a very special one. This week it's all about It's Your Boy Troy, played by Jessica McKenna of course. It's Your Boy Troy is a 17 year old wildcat and politician at McKernan High School. And he has a really interesting platform he's running on. And I'll just let you hear it. This was episode 443, released September 6,

2016. The episode also has Adam Scott from Severance and Will Hines, not from Severance. Will Hines plays the entertainer and king of the second acts, Jack Sparks. Now, if you enjoy this and you wanna hear more episodes from the Comedy Bang Bang Archives, become a subscriber at CBBworld.com. We have all of the past episodes ad free, every live show, ad free new episodes, and bonus shows like CBB Presents, Scott Hasn't Seen, College Town, Neighborhood Listen,

so much stuff over there. Now, we're gonna be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then enjoy this bonus bang! Comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang. Move over John 316, here comes me 469. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Ah, thank you so much Champoodler, Catchphrase Superstar for that wonderful catchphrase.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. And my gosh, Labor Day, was spelled with a U in other countries, but with just an O in this one. Labor Day is upon us. I hope you're spending your holiday with us. I would guess about half of you are catching up with us tomorrow, but if you are listening to us

on Labor Day, I hope you are catching up with us tomorrow. But if you are listening to us on Labor Day, I hope you're out there by a barbecue. And our guest is acting like he's next to a barbecue, I believe. Oh, OK, he's sipping some sort of... Oh, you eat really high up next to your chin, by the way. You're like cutting your steak right next to your chin. Our first guest, by the way, I am Scott Ackerman, our first guest is a mime, primarily, prime, prime? Merrily? I don't know. Now I'm getting, I'm getting a shaking of the head.

He is, uh, wow, what was that? What were those two things you were just putting together? I was banging two cymbals together, but I'm a person that doesn't know how to. Wait, you're a person that doesn't know how to bang cymbals together, but you've picked up two cymbals and you're? Attempting to bash it to sleep. You realize just because you're a mime, if you're talking and making any noise,

you don't have to whisper, you can just talk because. This is not technically talking, that's It's whispering, okay, so, I see. Are you going to whisper the entire show, can I ask? But not until you introduce me Oh, okay, when I introduce you, you're finally going to Eh, boy, I cannot wait to hear this full booming voice of yours I haven't spoken in six weeks

What? What? Can I ask what's been going on? I've been in mime school in Paris You, oh, okay, see okay see now I wonder because I never knew you were a mime You started going to school six weeks ago And now you've gotten up to person who picks up symbols and doesn't know how to use them. That was my thesis You're really wait a minute. Am I a mime if I'm doing this as well? No, okay, so now how long does it take to become a mime if you don't speak?

Well, it actually the moment you start not speaking, there's a certification process that's going on in France right now. Oh, OK. So now you are officially a mom. You'll get it in the mail tomorrow. Tomorrow. FedEx, not the mail FedEx. It's not mail. It's FedEx. Well, FedEx sponsors the mimeEx. It's not male. It's FedEx. Well, FedEx, it sponsors the mime school.

It's their school. Is there the FedEx mime school? Why do they have a dog in this hunt? What do they care about mimes? Why are you bringing dogs into… What do you mean? Okay, I'm sorry. Am I supposed to mime a dog if I talk about a dog?

Yes, yes, yes. Why are you bringing one of these into this hunt? This guy looks like you're washing a car. I'm sorry. I don't know what to mime in. I just became one. With a dog you go. Wait, you're the dog.

That's like charades. Oh, you want me to mime holding a dog? Yes, mime holding a dog, not you being a dog. Oh, wow. That actually is really good, I gotta say. Our guest is, yeah, that was a squirrely dog. Dogs don't like being held, so. Is it okay to call a dog squirrely, by the way?

Because it's not a squirrel. Is that like an insult to call a dog a squirrel? Well, do you want to see me miming holding a squirrel? Yes, please. A little smaller, I gotta say, but pretty much the same action. Squirrels hate being held. They really do. But dogs sometimes love being held.

Okay, you're on the verge of speaking, so I would just take it easy. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So when I introduce you, you're going to speak. Is that right? Well, I guess we'll find out. Okay, great. Our first guest is has been on the show several times throughout the seven almost eight years we've been doing it. He and I had a program together called Hugh Hawking, Hugh Hugh Hugh Yee, and he has a brand new movie coming out in theaters this Friday right after Labor Day, The Coveted Slot. Please welcome Adam Scott. Thanks Scott. Oh shit, Welcome Adam Scott. Thanks Scott. Oh shit.

You're not talking. I can't keep this up. I have to talk. Go ahead. Okay. Hi, Adam Scott is here. Hello Adam. Hi Scott.

Oh God. I can't listen to this. Our listeners can't listen to this. Do you need me to? They're gonna be turned to offers, not listeners. Okay, this is kind of a big deal because I haven't spoken in six weeks. Right, yeah, well, you're not gonna be kicked out of mime school, are you?

Well, no, I finished the program. Oh, that's right, you wrote your thesis. What did you get? Did you get high marks? I got an F. Why, then why are you continuing with it? At mime school, though, F is the best, it's the highest. It's the highest? Does it stand for something? Fucking amazing. Why don't they just call it an A for amazing?

Because they have to add the F because it's like really fucking amazing? They're French. Oh, okay. But also they don't use the word fucking, I would think, because they're French. English is now internationally. Oh, okay, okay, this makes a lot of sense.

There are no more languages. Okay, so look, if, okay, this makes a lot of sense. There are no more languages. Okay, so look, if, so you. Sorry, should I just step back? Oh! Hi, Adam. That was exhausting. Does someone need to alert France?

It actually is harder to whisper than it is to talk. It is. And bits get old really quick when you're whispering. You know? Welcome to the program. Thanks, it's been a while. Sorry, that actually. Did that slip out or is that intentional?

It slipped out. Yep, welcome back, Adam. People know you from, you had a short tenure on a show called Parks and Recreation, not an original cast member, but you had a... Thanks for pointing that out. I mean, you know, at this point, why does it matter? Why bring it up that I came on later than everybody?

I don't know. Why? I just want people, if people are going, wait, Parks and Recreation, one of the guys from the beginning, and they're trying to picture you in their minds. I mean, people never think that. People never wonder if someone's, whatever.

Okay, I'm just saying you came on quite late in the program. Sure, yeah, I did. I'm like the Ron Wood of the Parks and Rec cast. I don't even know what Ron Wood means. Ron Wood? Yeah, who's Ron Wood? The rhythm guitar, lead guitarist of the- Oh, Ronnie!

Yeah, Ronnie Wood, sorry. Okay. What is going on with your wrist? You're caressing your wrist right now. It's just, it's left, it's an old- Chirp off injury? No, it's a mime school habit. Oh, okay.

Yeah. And what would be the purpose of that habit? Well, my teacher had, some people used to do it with a ruler. He did it with an actual baseball bat. He would hit your wrist really hard. If you mimed incorrectly? If you mimed incorrectly.

Oh my gosh. So I had. I think you have a broken arm. That's not a mime school injury. That's like a broken wrist. My wrist is severely fractured. And so when I rub it, it makes it just feel a little bit better. But I'm still in severe pain.

You really should go to the hospital. You've flown over from France with a fractured wrist. That's right. And I just came straight here from the airport. From the airport? Yeah. LAX. Well, that's a good airport.

LAX is some people. Right. Of course. Well, thank you. I appreciate it, although I fear for your safety doing this show. That's fine. I mean, I got a quick x-ray on the plane, and the doctor said that the bone marrow.

A doctor brought his x-ray machine with him in his carry-on? Yeah, there was a doctor on there, luckily, who had an x-ray machine. He said the bone marrow is starting to leak out into not only my bloodstream, but the rest of my ass. Do you want to open a slit into maybe your wrist, and maybe the marrow could come out? I mean, if you have. I have a razor blade right here, if you want to open a slit into maybe your wrist and maybe the marrow could come out?

I mean, if you have... I have a razor blade right here. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, here we go. Is it sterile? Oh yeah, here, let me just blow on it. Here you go. Okay.

Yeah, there you are. Yeah, just open her up there and... Ah! Ah! There it is. Yeah, you see that marrow? Yeah, that's, look at all that red marrow coming out. Ooh.

Marrow is, wait, is marrow red? I don't know. That stuff that's coming out of your wrist is red. That's blood. Oh, okay. It's actually quite a bit of blood. Yeah, gosh, are you gonna be all right? There's the marrow.

It's kind of a deep brown. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I've eaten marrow before. Yeah, you suck it out of a bone when you're eating delicious meats. Can we get an isolation of Adam saying, you suck it out of a bone by the way?

Is that possible? You mean you want me to say it over again so it can be isolated? Yeah, let's get it clean. Sucking it out of a bone. No, you suck it out of a bone. You suck it out of a bone. Okay, great. We're gonna make that into some ringtones.

Just go ahead. Have fun with that. Have fun with that. Who knows? Man, it's hot in here. Is it? Let's turn down the heat. We have a full blast heat here.

I'm not sure why. Well, you do, what is it? A heated yoga? What is it called? Hot yoga. Hot yoga. Which, by the way, isn't there a better name for something than hot yoga? I know. It yoga. Which, by the way, isn't there a better name for something

than hot yoga? I know. It just sounds like B-O. Yeah, first of all, it sounds like hot yogurt. You know what I mean? Which is- Hot yogurt, as everyone knows, is gross. It's the grossest treat.

It's the grossest of all the yogurts. So when you say hot yoga, yoga, yogurt, it sounds like hot yogurt. All you have to do if you really think about it, like really take the time, sit down, kind of put on the noise. Canceling headphones. Canceling headphones and just kind of look out a window and close your eyes.

All you have to add is a ert. Exactly. And it would be hot yogurt. Yeah, exactly. If someone were to add an ert to this. Right, if someone had built an ert in their backyard. You know, and put some hot yoga inside of it. Hot yogurt.

Yeah, exactly. Now, Adam. Glad we brought that to its conclusion. Yep, full circle is something to try to aspire to, and we did not achieve it. What brings you by the program here? Because now you and I have not seen each other either socially or in a professional capacity for probably a day.

So why, what brings you by here today? Well, we've been texting a little bit, but... I mean, if you call 350 text messages a little bit, I mean, I'm over my limit, I have to say. I think some people would think that's a lot, but for you and I, that's very little. That's par for the course, yeah. I mean, I only get, by the way, two text messages a month,

so I am really over my limit. Well, my phone actually isn't able to, I've been blocked from texting. Oh really? By the police. By the police? The Los Angeles, Oh, the LAPDOT. Police department.

LAPDOT, yeah. LAPDOT, yeah. So now you and I have been texting and you were like, gotta get on bro, gotta get on bro. Let me on. Let me on. Can I please get on? Put Me In Coach was one that you had.

I'm ready to play. Yep, that's some clapping. That was Fogarty's peak. I don't care what anyone says. Peak of popularity or? No, peak of just being great. Being great, yeah. You have a couple of projects coming out

and one is something that you're not in. Correct. And it is, by the way, we should mention these are films. You're not like one of these usual, you know, TV actors who comes in here. Some people like the summertime because all the big extravaganzas, like what I like to call movies, come out. Sure, yeah, flicks. Oh my god, like, oh let's just cram some popcorn down our throat, suck on a corn, a corn, a big a big tub of freezing cold corn syrup and just take in the corporate, just bullshit entertainment.

People like, we're not like that. I mean, sure, I'll eat popcorn at the movies. Sure, and once in a while I'll have a little freezing cold corn syrup, just for fun. Sure, sure, because it's fun. And you know, I'll see something like a Transformers or something. Sure, hey, once in a while, look, who won't go see a nice big blockbuster?

I mean, it's like a treat. Sure. Like every week on a Thursday, a Thursday night, you know, right when it comes out, because things come out on Thursday night. The midnight showing on Thursday night. Of course you go see every single blockbuster that comes out. But other than that, it's like, no, no thank you.

So no, yeah, you're right. These are films. These are films. Great. And let's talk about, because we've talked many times about our favorite films. In fact, is this an episode of I Love Films? I think it might be. Hey everyone, welcome to I Love Films. This is Scott. And this is Scott. And we're just talking about films. We're two guys who love films. Love films. Love, like celluloid.

Oh my god, yeah, down with digital. Yeah, boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo. Our thumbs are pointing down. Listen, the 1970s. That's all I really need to say. Easy writers. Easy writer. A taxi driver.

Alice doesn't live here anymore. What about mean streets? Mean streets. How about a little thing that I like to call the Godfather? The Godfather. How about this guy? How about the Godfather Part 2? Oh, now you're talking my language,

which is the language of film. Some say even better than the original. Oh, here, wait, I have two words for you. What were they again? Oh yeah, Hal Ashby. Oh, thank you. Filmmaker. Thank you.

Thank you for saying those two words. The 1970s, folks. The 1970s decade of film. This was a time when studio movies were real films. People took risks then. Oh. You know what I mean? I mean, to say they were risky filmmakers doesn't even begin.

What is ironic about this is people were lining up around the block to see these films. These were the blockbusters, folks. So when I say film, I know what I'm talking about. Sure, you know what you're talking about, I know what I'm talking about, and I think we know what each of us is talking about. We understand each other.

We understand, we speak the language of film. 100%. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So have you seen anything recently that you like? No. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Oh, great app. That was terrific. That was really, really good.

So yeah, anyway, we were talking about film. Yes, there's a movie that my wife and I produced. Your what? My wife. You're really saying the catchphrases today. It's called Other People. It comes out September 9th. Oh, people.

People can shorten it to say just oh, people. OP. OP. You down with OP? Yeah, or here's why we don't, you can call it OP, but we don't want to get that as like, we don't want that catchphrase to catch on too much because when people are leaving the house

for the movie theater, this is what we don't want to happen. We don't want to happen. We don't want people to say, hey, honey, will you grab my keys? Cause we gotta get going, we're late for OP. Like they've already bought their tickets on Bandango for other people. And then they get that OP in their head.

And instead of going to the theater to see other people, they grab their pair of OP shorts out of the drawer and throw those on. Throw those on and go surfing. Yes, and then they forget all about the movie. And first of all, it's dangerous at night to do that. You cannot go surfing, well, you can go surfing at night, but it's, insurance is through the roof.

Insurance nightmare. Oh, it's crazy. And if you're starring in a big blockbuster movie, like, you know, people like us. Other people, us. Yeah. Well, I saw Krampus. They won't, they won't insure you.

Right, exactly. So, so yeah, there's this very talented young man named Chris Kelly. Oh, yes. He is one of the head writers on SNL. Snil. For the lay person. It's kind of like a weekend live,

but it happens on Saturday night. Saturday night live. That's what it is. Yeah. He's one of the headwriters there. He wrote it and directed it. He is a brilliant guy. He's like a savant.

Not an idiot savant. With none of the drawbacks of a savant. Sure. Like a perfectly, you know, Nice, normal guy. integrated, socially person, but also is able to do writing and directing very well. Mm-hmm.

Now, this is a film that he went to see. He likes what, why are you talking about him? He wrote it. Uh-huh. Which is... That's hard by itself. Yeah, I mean, you have to know, you have a computer or a typewriter, whatever.

If you don't have one of those, you're out the game, Sonny boy. No, not necessarily, Scott. I know of many writers who write longhand on Pepper. Longhand on Pepper? Yes. Oh, really? Oh, yes.

So, okay. So which did he do? I don't know. Mm-hmm. Cares. You didn't read the script? No. Okay.

He wrote this script and then he- He also directed it. Directed it. Directed it and the movie- Like Coppola. Like, okay. Like Francis Ford Coppola. Like Martin Scorsese.

Like Marty. You ever hear of Brian DePalma? Yeah, I think I have. Okay, I know you have. Like him. Did he do, what did he do? Did he blow up? Mission Impossible. Mission Impossible, right, right, right.

So he wrote and directed this film. Now I have to say, as a connoisseur of film, Yes. I, even though it comes out this Friday, Yeah. I saw it a year ago. What? Yeah. I saw this film a year ago because I love films that much.

That's right. You came to our office and watched it in a small hot room on the television. We were doing hot yoga at the time. It was a hot room, wasn't it? It was a little hot, but I enjoyed it. Yeah, and Molly Shannon and Jesse Plemons are the stars of it, but it also has Bradley Whitford,

Maude Apatow, Darcy Carden. Who else is in this thing? Who's the kid in it who does the show? You know what I'm talking about? Oh, J.J. Tota. J.J. Tota, he's a star in it who does the show? You know what I'm talking about? Oh, J.J. Tota. J.J. Tota. Incredible. He's a star in the making. Yes. So it's a terrific movie and super proud of him.

Let me talk a little bit about the plot of this movie. Sure. All right. There is an ancient sort of power source that is buried beneath the earth's crust. That's right. Millions and millions of years ago. That's right. The ancient Egyptians are of years ago. That's right.

The ancient Egyptians are building the pyramids and they uncover it. Right. Cut to modern society. Right. There is a person who does improv. Which is Jesse Plemons. Jesse Plemons. He knows nothing about this ancient source of energy.

Right. Never references it. Nope. Never brings it, never brings it up, it is never even seen on screen. Not in the movie, no. No. In between the scenes, a lot of people, what they don't know is anytime you're watching a scene,

what we call a scene in a movie, a series of sequenced events, occasionally it will cut to another scene. In the character's life, things happen in between the margins there. Oh yeah, there's a ton of stuff that happens in the movie that isn't shown in the movie. Sure.

But we shoot all of it. You shoot all of it, so you've shot, you shot about, and this takes place over a year, you shot for one full calendar year. Yeah, I mean the movie's a little over 90 minutes long, but we have hundreds and hundreds of hours of footage all cut together For people who are interested. Yeah. Now how many people are usually interested in this kind of thing? Maybe only film lovers like us. Yeah, like a couple hundred thousand. Mm-hmm, and we'll show it to them. Sure

Why not? For you know a large amount of money. Sure. Because it's expensive to cut all that film together and show it in a theater. I would say like a million dollars a piece. Something like that. Something like that. Now, Jesse Plemons plays a, he plays a man, a man. You know, he's a man.

Sure. He's a grown man. A man, a man who lives in the world. In the world. Okay. Why get more specific than that? He puts on his pants every morning just like everybody else. Two legs at a time. He walks out the world. In the world. Okay. Why get more specific than that? He puts on his pants every morning, just like everybody else. Two legs at a time.

He walks out the door. He's like, am I gonna walk left? Am I gonna walk right? He makes the decision eventually. Maybe I'll walk straight. Maybe I'll go forward. Hey, have you heard of a little thing called diagonally? Yeah.

But you better look both ways. This is New York City. Oh, New York. New York. Hey, I'm walking here. Hoo-ah. This is New York City. Oh, New York. New York. Hey, I'm walking here. Hoo-ah. Ooh, ow. I'm a taxi driver.

New York, hey, get me some coffee. Brian DePalma. Oh, Martin Scorsese. So he plays a real, a true New Yorker. Yeah, just New York to the bone. Yellow Cabs, Slices of Pizza, Skyscrapers. Talking about the water to the bone. Yellow cabs, slices of pizza, skyscrapers. Talking about the water all the time. Water.

Empire State Building. Empire State, oh, oh, Empire State Building. Look at that up there, what's that? Hey look, John Titor, what are you doing? Hey. Oh, I'm in between film roles, oh. Walking down the street, get the fuck out of my way. Fuck you.

Fuck you. No, fuck you. Get the fuck out of my way. Fuck you. Fuck you. No, fuck you. Get the fuck out of my face. Hey. So that's all that we need to say about this film, right? Yeah, yeah. Jesse Plemons and Molly Shannon are a son and his mother and she's sick and dying and he's taking care of her

and he's also has his own kind of issues with his dad and it's a nice little dramedy written and directed by one of the funniest writers around. For listeners of this show, people would be interested to know that he is, Jesse Plyman's character is interested in comedy. It sort of mirrors Chris Kelly's career. And we shot at UCB, which was very kind of them.

And I've seen this film as a connoisseur of film, of course, but you know that I'm a big supporter of this film. Yes. Really, really enjoyed it. You did enjoy it. Almost embarrassingly, you know? Yes. Where I sort of started seeing you in a different light.

Like I always just thought of you as like some jerk off who... Like a dumb shit. Yeah, you know? And then I was like, this guy lucked into the film of a lifetime. Yeah, this guy, this guy, this guy- He doesn't know what he has here. This guy, this guy.

This guy here. No, it's great. It opened Sundance and- Sunday. No, Sundance. Sunday, it opened Sunday. No, Sundance. Sunday, it opened Sunday. No, the Sundance Film Festival. What's that?

Sundance. I don't know what that is. The dance? Oh, the dance. Yeah, sorry. Oh, yeah, I've been to the dance. I should use industry talk. Yeah, thank you, thank you.

I went to Sundance and it made a lot of money there. It made over a hundred million dollars at Sundance. It's so much money at Sundance. And, but it's a really great film. I would implore everyone to see this and not because you have points on this necessarily, but you know, I mean, at what point do your points kick in? Like, is it the net?

Is it the gross? What are we talking? The moment I start making a ton of money on this, sometime in the next like 30 or 40 years. Right, right. Now the overnight was a big hit for you and you made a ton of money on and that was, and I credit that to the fact that you wanted to show your real penis in the film. Yeah. You know, because people had seen that prosthetic in Tell Me You Love Me, and you were just like,

I'm tired of people thinking that's my penis. I want them to see my real tiny penis. Right. And boom, you have a big box office hit there. Yeah, there you go. And then on September 23rd, I have this movie I'm in with Nick Kroll and Jenny Slate, my blind brother, that's really good.

MBB. And do you show your real penis in other people as well? Do you just have one scene where you just walk in and go, hey, by the way? Yeah, my penis, see, I'm not a cast member of the movie, but I just thought for the hell of it, let's just show my penis in. Almost like Hitchcock, you know, little cameo.

Little cameo. Except your cameo, I noticed it's about 45 minutes long. It's a 45 minute long shot of Jesse Plemons and Molly Shannon having this really heartbreaking scene. She's sick, and he's trying to help her. And just in the upper left hand corner of the screen is my penis. In like a little, almost like Porky Pig style circle,

just flapping away as much as it can actually flap, which is, you know. And Chris, the writer-director, was upset. Because you did this without telling him. I did. Right as it went to print. Yeah, I put it in the final print of the movie. I didn't tell Naomi, to my wife either,

who's producing the movie along with the rest of it. You didn't tell anybody this. It was meant to be sort of a surprise. It was something I did just for me. And- One for them, one for you. Yeah. And everyone involved with the film is very upset.

Right, but it's too late at this point. Yeah, it was a bad move on my part. Right, right, right. And gross, and it doesn't serve the film at all. Oh no, I meant to say, yeah. It's captivating, it's all you can look at. Off tone for the movie. Definitely, definitely.

But it's there, so. So check it out. We all have to live with it, yeah. All right, that opens this Friday, and My Blind Brother opens on the 23rd of this month as well. Go out and see both of those. Nick Kroll and Jenny Slate are terrific in that movie.

And by the way, Zach Woods is in Other People. Oh, Zach Woods. Did I not mention Zach Woods? I don't believe you did. He's great. Yeah. Zach Woods is incredible. He has a name that's a place.

Yeah, like, I wonder if Zach, can I just? Yeah. Let's get real here for a second. All right. Wait, is this an episode of Getting Real? I think it's an episode of Getting Real. Get real. Hey everyone, welcome to Getting Real.

This is Scott. And this is Scott. Listen, Scott. Yeah, let's get real. Let's just, let's just, Let's drop the bullshit. Let's cut the BS. Yeah, all right.

Just to get real here for a second. Zach Woods, great guy. Funny, funny actor. Oh sure, that's a good one. Terrific. Okay, that being said, the guy has this last name that's like, oh yeah, okay dude. Woods? Yeah.

It's like, what are you gonna change your name to next? Jerry Highway? You know? It's like, come on. I know. It's like, come on. Come on, it's like come on. I know, it's like come on. Come on dude. Like Zach, hey listen, you wanna take a walk? Oh yeah, just be sure not to veer off into the woods.

I mean Jesus. Yeah, oh this has been getting real. Get real. Good app, yeah it was a great app. Yeah, that was probably our best app I would say. Oh yeah. By a long shot. Yeah, it was a great app. Yeah, that was probably our best app, I would say. Oh, yeah. By a long shot. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. All right, check out both of these things. We're going to have to take a break. Is that all right with you? Yeah. OK, fine. We will then. Great.

OK. I don't know why you're mad at me. Take the break. I'm taking it. You're the one who's preventing me from taking the break with your fucked up attitude. Hey, Scott, you know what we didn't even talk about? How about this election?

Ha ha ha, I wanna get to it. Okay. I wanna get to it. Who you voting for, by the way, Trump? Of course. Yeah, okay. All right, we're gonna get to it after the break. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

Bum ba dum dum, buf dum bum bum bum bum. Bum ba dum dum, buf dum bum bum bum bum. Comedy Bang Bang, this. Bum-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba We'll see. Now, what are you on your phone, bro? What's going on down there? No. I can see you tapping your phone. No. Plain as the eyes on your face. You know who I didn't mention in other people who's incredible is John Early.

Oh yeah, he's great. John Early, people would know from the Wet Hot American Summer. And the characters. I think he's in Neighbors 2. I don't care. All right, let's get to our next guest. He is an entertainer.

That's interesting, just like you, Adam. I mean, some would say you're an entertainer. Some. Yeah, although I haven't taken any kind of polls, neither formal nor informal. Also, you've never been officially entertained by me. No, no, no, of course not. Neither in conversation nor in your actual,

I'm gonna put this in air quotes, work. Yeah, you've made that very clear. But he is an entertainer and I hope to find him entertaining. Please welcome Jack Sparks. Hey, how's it going? Hey, it's going great. This is Adam Scott. Adam, how are you?

My name's Jack. Jack Sparks. That's right, Jack Sparks. Why did you, it's going great. My pleasure. This is Adam Scott. Adam, how are you? My name's Jack. Jack Sparks. That's right, Jack Sparks. It sounded like you were, first of all, hesitating, and secondly, oh, is that just for effect? Yeah, it's just to get you ready, make sure I got your attention. It's an old trick I learned from magicians.

You want to direct the audience's attention right to where you want them to be paying attention. And when I want them to pay attention to my name, I let you know. Okay, so you put a little pause. That's right. I mean, it seems like that's kind of what people do every day when they introduce each other. I think only magicians do it, and that's who I learned it from. Okay.

All right. Why were you hanging around so many magicians? Are you a magician? I am not. But I am a master entertainer, for hire, known for being king of the second act. – King of the second act? What does that mean? – Yeah, there's ever an entertainment entity that is divided up into acts, like an act break, you bring me on in the second act, and I take over.

– Okay, so now I've seen plays that have – – Uh-huh, right, great example. So the play has more than one act. – Well, let's talk about like a great play like, I don't know, Angels in America, Tony Kushner's opus. No, no, no, Death of a Salesman. Death of a Salesman, even better. Arthur Miller creating essentially the epitome of American drama. It's a terrific play.

Terrific play, I love it. This guy knows his lingo, Adam. And he knows his plays. And so it's got more than one act. So you bring me out in the second of those acts. I'll take over. You take over? What does that mean?

I'll just take over. I just explode. I really land it. Whatever the purpose of the act is, I make sure that it lands. I'll make it pop. I'll make it shine and shimmer with various entertainment strategies that I have learned.

Okay. Primarily from magicians. Would you get on the stage with the actors and act with them? That's right. Tell you what, I don't wanna hear about it. I wanna see a little bit of this. So why don't Adam and I,

because we know Death of a Salesman by heart, I would imagine. Yeah, of course. Please do the second act. The second act. Don't do anything from the first act. Of course not. I don't want many of the famous scenes from the first act,

I don't want the croquet scene. Okay. I don't want the napkin sequence. Oh no, of course not. Just second act, we get it. What about where he turns on the sprinklers in the backyard? That's third act.

That's third act, right. You gotta do second act salesman. Okay, second act, no problem. And I'm gonna come on in the middle of it and really make it land. All right, here we go, all right. I'm gonna give you a lights up so we'll know when the lights are up. That's very pro.

Okay. Wait, are you coming on stage left? I appreciate that you're miming this part of the... Yes, I'm going to be stage left. Stage left, okay. Yeah. You could either follow me on stage left or meet me from stage right. Okay.

Are you Willie? Or am I Willie? Who's Willie? Willie Lohman.? Willie Loman. Oh wait, Bill. Oh, okay, yeah, Bill. Okay, you're Willie. Bill.

And I'm his son. Robert. Okay, okay, here we go. Hey, Bill. Robert. I have to say, you are such a good salesman. I would hate it if something terrible were to ever happen to you. Robert, the death of a salesman is something everyone would feel.

Everyone in this family, that is. I would even say people outside the family would at least hear about it. Friends of ours, yes. Acquaintances of ours, yes. Acquaintances, friends, sure. Those are names for the people we know. Even extended family, because I was assuming you were referring earlier to immediate family. Certainly I was. Your assumption is true. Thank you.

What are you doing today? Oh, I figure I might, you know, just kind of chill out on the couch. What are you doing? I'm going to walk from door to door and try and sell all of these bags. I've noticed that you're selling plastic bags now? Plastic, paper, and crocheted bags. Right. And have you sold one yet? I've sold zero bags.

Because the American dream is dead. Also, we live in a town that manufactures bags. They're all over the place. People, everyone in this town works at the bag factory and they all take bags home for free. There is no shortage of bags, father. There are bags everywhere. Everywhere I look.

Bags. Bags. Bags. I go to work. Bags. I come home. Bags. Father?

What do you dream of? And scene. Okay. Jack. Jack is at, I'm slipping out of character by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the end, that's the end. That was the end. Yeah, there you go, you're welcome. I really helped, see my job is to make it land.

I was like, that's going great, I don't need to get involved. What? A lot of times what I do to help out the second acts I was like, that's going great. I don't need to get involved. What? A lot of times what I do to help out the second acts, I mean, if everything's fine, I'll just come on and say scene. Okay, so. When I think it should wrap up.

So you're almost like the director or like the lighting operator? No, no, I'll do whatever it takes, okay? I'm gonna go to, I'll stop at nothing to make a second act land. Give us an example of this, because I don't know that we really got one out of that. Yeah, I did it. Yeah, I was like, this is great.

And I just, you know, I was like, I love it. You know, there's nothing here I can do to help. What is an example of some of your previous work? All right. Woodstock 99. Oh, I love that. My favorite Woodstock. I come out in the middle of Sugar Ray's previously unknown set.

Right after they do Every Morning and I Go Scene. Wait, is that, and how did that help them? Well, who knows if they're going to keep going because they had reached a great end point of their song. And if they try to morph into a jam band phase Sugar Ray is gonna lose the audience and they're a single Jack Sparks watch yeah they got there's singles band they got a they got a they can only do this you don't they shouldn't be trying to like add anything extra on the end and I'm there to make sure that doesn't happen so do you think if you didn't go on and say seen

after they played every morning, they would have... They reached the end of that song. They would have kept going. They packed up the equipment. I walked out and said scene. Wait, they had already... Yeah. They were off the stage practically at this point? Well, who knows? To me, it felt to me like they were...

You would know, you were there. It felt to me like they were about to get back on. Oh. Do you make a living doing this? No. I do not. I have not at at this moment, been paid for my services. Or invited to do them. But a lot of times, OK, Book of Mormon, second act, right at the end of it, I got up on stage

after everybody had left, and it's dark, and I said, scene. And one time, or were you doing that every night? Just one time. Just how did you get on stage? After that, the security guards were alerted and told me that my services were not needed. Okay, so you just walked up from the audience and did that. Yeah, that's right. How did you get tickets?

That's a tough ticket to get. I snuck in through the sewers. The sewers? The sewers? Yeah, the sewers that connect all the Broadway theaters. They have the same sewers? So like Hamilton takes shits? Oh yeah, Hamilton takes his shit.

Oh yeah, this is a huge exchange of talent in New York City. Hamilton takes his shit right into the same pipe that Martin McDonough's recent Jetsons play does. Oh my gosh. Martin McDonough's Jetsons, I heard. Martin McDonough's doing a new Jetsons play. His take on the Jetsons. Yeah, oh it's great.

It takes place in Ireland and everybody is like swearing and then Rosie comes out and murders Roy Boy. And are they, do they still have like the oven where you put a pail in it and it makes a pizza kind of thing? Yeah, oh yeah. That's a huge part of the second act. Really? Which I watched. You watched and did you participate? I did. I walked up in the, this one I walked up, I got involved in this one.

I was more proactive in the Martin McDonagh Jetsons. I walked up in the middle of it and said, seen. And I was ignored, which helped. Helped them? Helped them? Helped, I think we had opposite ends to this question. But we said it with the exact same inflection. No, it helped the play. I helped the play.

It helped, it made sure the play lands. I see, I just want stuff to land. Well, wait, wait, wait. When you did that during Martin McDonagh's Jetsons. Yeah, second act. What happened? The pill comes out of the oven. It's a pizza.

Jane is like, oh, I can't believe it. The pizza's so big. This is vaguely racist, by the way. And I went scene. I don't know what you're doing. Racist towards Irish. Oh, is that what you're doing? Yes.

Okay, well. You might to help make that land. That was a perfect Irish accent. Have you been to Ireland? No, I have not. I have. Recently? Seven years ago? They switched it up.

They switched up accents. New accent? When they entered the European Union, they had to change the accents. OK, they wanted to do racist Chinese instead. And that happened in the last seven years. Like five years ago, yeah. Must be a Brexit thing. No, Brexit, well, once Britain leaves the European Union,

they have to give up their accent. Oh, so they all have to like take dialect classes? Yep. Really? Even the children? Yes. So speech teachers they all have to like take dialect classes? Yep. Really? Yeah, that's what's up. Even the children? Yes. So speech teachers are going to be like... Hugely in demand.

The number one commodity. Millionaires. Yeah. People's gonna be... Millionaires. Oh, they're gonna make like millions of dollars. Oh my god. Yeah.

Hey, is this anything? Brexit Ralph. Is that something? Oh, okay. Wait, I gotcha. Like Wreck-It Ralph. Like Wreck-It Ralph. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The movie? The movie? The film. Yeah, the movie. Yeah, the gotcha. Like Wreck-It Ralph. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movie? The movie, the film. Yeah, the animated flick. Okay, the one that came out and people went and saw... Yeah, yeah. Certain people saw it. Certain people didn't. How about Brexit in effect? Is that something? That's something. Like, Rex in effect? Oh, no, I wasn't thinking of that. Oh, what were you thinking of?

Just like the effects of Brexit. The effect upon Brexit. Yeah, just an economist piece. How about emergency Brexit? Is that something? That's in the area of something, definitely. Okay, good. So, um...

Yeah, so I was in the shit sewer of Hamilton. I swim over to the Jetsons. Do you have any kind of gear? Are you wearing like a scuba suit or something like that? No, I try to go just in my Union suit. Just one single long underwear with buttons from the neck all the way down to the right ankle. A Union suit.

Like a long underwear. Does it have like a Union Jack on the front of it? Yep. Okay. Yeah. There's also Confederate suits, which obviously are out of fashion. Which is very offensive.

Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, no one's in favor of fashion. Which are very offensive. Very offensive, obviously. Yeah, no one's in favor of that. But you wear a good Union Jack, which is what the Union Army wore in the Civil War. And I swim to the sewers of Hamilton over to McDonough's Theater. Hop up on the stage. I said scene. I was rushed off. Because of what you did or because of the fact you had so much feces clinging to your-

I don't think anybody heard me. It was long before I even opened my mouth. There was movement towards me. I would imagine you looked crazy and smelled terrible. Yes. That's a terrible combination. But in the future, who knows that maybe everyone doesn't look like that.

That's true. This is the Jetsons. We don't know. Nothing had been established about whether people wear feces armor or not. That's true. That question is never answered in most plays. And I always assume if it's not explicitly answered

that anybody not seen on the stage is wearing feces. Mm-hmm. In any play. Right. How did you... Okay. Yeah. How did you get interested in entertainment in the entertainment field?

I was raised by two magicians. Okay. So that's where all the magician stuff comes from. No. Uninvolved with that, I later left them in anger, befriended non-magicians explicitly. I vetted aggressively whether they were magicians or not. I would ask, I would give them a coin

and be like, do something with this. And if they started to be like, and if they went into like- And if it disappeared, how much money did you lose by magicians stealing your coins? $1,300. Really?

Yeah. What kind of coin, you did the test often, I guess. Yes, I did a couple times. A quarter at a time or? Couple quarters, silver dollar. Yeah, Susan B Anthony dollars. That's a lot of magicians you're running into. Well, I had to make sure. Sometimes in crowds, I would test everybody.

Right. Anyway, so I was friends with exclusively non-magicians. Got it. But is that why you walked in here with a giant bag of coins? Yeah, that's right. Hmm. That is maybe the biggest bag of coins. This one right here?

Bill Lohman would be jealous of that bag. I mean, I feel like that... How much does that weigh? Let me see. Here, just hold it. Oh, my God. Yeah. Scott, check this out. Okay, I'm trying to, but the bag's in front of you. Oh, wait, are you talking about the bag?

Yeah. Oh, okay. What were you thinking? I don't know, I thought he says, check this out. I assume he's something behind the bag. Wait, super quick, use the bag. Oh, my God, this is a heavy bag. Now do something with one of those coins. Do something with it? Yeah.

Oh, I don't know, something like. Oh, all right, forget about it, forget about it. I can't do it. Yeah, sorry, I know a little bit of magic. Thank you very much, I'll take that bag back. All right, thank you very much. I mean, that's gotta be like 75 pounds. Yeah.

In American currency, that's probably around a hundred dollars. Yeah. Yeah. 75 pounds worth of coins. Check out my delts. Yeah. I didn't want to say anything, but those are the first things I noticed

when you walked in this room. Most of my body is a gelatinous mass, but I got these two rock hard smooth delts just for hauling around coins. It's like you got Popeye's arms or something. Yeah, but you on your delts. You on your delts? You finnish lately?

Yeah, all the time. With your delts? So. Yeah. Feces suits should come back into fashion. Okay, yeah, no, we've talked about this, but we didn't get past your magicians. Oh yeah, so I'm friends with all non-magicians. But you know, in life, when you try to avoid something, life has a way of making you face what you're avoiding.

One of my favorite actors once said it best when he said, these other people are keep trying to pull a person like me back in. I was away, and. I had quit. I had quit. And then these other people. I had my exit interview. Not of my own volition. Had to be yanked in the opposite direction.

That I wanted to go. To point one. Not my decision. I wanted to take the emergency Brexit. Okay, you're really trying to shove emergency Brexit down our throats at this point. I feel like if we get emergency Brexit really going and going strong. You can't just do Pacino doing emergency Brexit and make it stick. Well, we'll see when this episode comes out.

Okay, alright. So, the... Bre, bre, eggs, bre, bregs-edent? Eggs? Bregs-edent. Like Bandit? Eggs, bregs-edic? Eggs for bregs-it.

Fast? Bregs-it cereal. I don't know. I'd like bregs-it, Lego my bregs-it? That's definitely something. There's something there. That's definitely something. You should work that into your act, whatever that is.

I'll do whatever. First of all, I do anything. I'll do anything it takes to land the second act. So it sounds to me, Jack. Thank you. Like you, what? Thank you. You're welcome.

He hasn't put all the sentence. I had all the sentence to my name right when I met you and I'm glad that you're using it. Well, Jack is a very easy name to remember. Oh, thank you. It's his favorite thing to do, remembering Jack. Well, just that name in particular. Well, it's fun to remember. Oh, thank you. It's his favorite thing to do. Remembering Jack. Yeah. Just that name in particular.

Well, it's fun to remember. That's not what I was going for. It... Jacking is your favorite thing. I love to jack. Like cars? Jack. Nevermind. Like you jack cars?

No, like... Like you put a jack beneath a car? Scott is talking about like masturbating. Like he's making a joke about me masturbating and how much I love it. Because I do, I love to masturbate. It's not really a joke, I was just merely pointing out. Just a fact. It's something I love.

And you just call that jacking? Are facts jokes now? What? Are facts jokes now, you know? I guess so, I guess people are laughing at facts. Here's a fun joke, there's about 300 million people in America. Okay, here's another joke.

When I walked into the studio today, I had just finished masturbating in my car. That is a good joke. I wondered why the valet had such a strange look on his face. Yeah. So, yeah. Here's a fun joke. I once ate a brick. A brick?

What? Now what's... Stone brick. A why? A stone brick? Why would you do something like that? I was escaping. Oh, you were in a prison?

I was in a wall room made of bricks. And how, by eating one brick brick were you able to escape? No, but I made my point that I was gonna get out of there eventually. So they just let you out? Yeah, they were like, this is, we know where this is going. This guy's nuts. We don't want to see him eating hundreds of bricks. I think they were just more intimidated. They were just like, clearly, we can't, you did this? And I said, yes.

And they were like, get out of here. Can you take me to a hospital or let me out and I'll just go to one? Yep, that's what I did. Jack, so it seems like your act is essentially enhancing. Whatever it takes, whatever it takes to enhance an existing work. But you don't do anything yourself?

Depends what it needs. Right. Well, I have to say that this is sort of the second act of our program here, and you have enhanced it greatly. I guess so. Thank you, yeah. Do you mind giving us a little of your specialty?

Because we have to go to a break. Maybe you could give us a little bit before we do that. Okay, so this is Jack Sparks showing us his specialty of... Making a second act land and scene. Wait. That was it? Yeah. Okay, so it was the same as what you did before for the Death of a Salesman. I mean, it's whatever it takes. And scene. Wait. That was it? Yeah.

Okay, so it's the same as what you did before for the Death of a Salesman? I mean, it's whatever it takes. It's whatever it takes. It's not necessarily the same thing. Would it have been more effective? But so far, all you've done is that. That you've seen, yes. Would it have been more effective if we actually had gone to break when you said and scene?

Not necessarily. In my experience, that never happens. Okay. There's always some questioning. Yeah, there's always a follow-up. Well, at the very least, no one's dragging you away right now in a feces covered suit. I know, this to me is a win. Okay, we'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here. Adam Scott

is chomping down on one of his favorite snacks, AKA pretzels. And we, yep, definitely doing the dog pound as he tries to get through that last pretzel. And we also have Jack Sparks, who's an erstwhile entertainer of Surrex. Correct, correct. King of the second act. King of the second act.

And now you're in the third act, which- I'm off the clock. Okay, good, now you can just relax. Thank God. Okay, good. Now you can just relax. Oh, thank God. Okay, well we have another guest here that I'm very excited to get to. You know, Adam, you said you wanted to talk about politics. Right, of course. The election.

The election coming up, and we have a politician here. So very excited to talk to the politician. Please welcome, this is your boy... This is your boy Troy. This is your boy Troy. What's up everybody, this is your boy Troy. Hi. Where my Wildcats at? Wildcats?

Yeah, that's the mascot of my high school. Oh, what high school do you go to? McKernan High School. McKernan, oh. Where my Wildcats at? I don't, let me check. Jack, are you a Wildcat? I sure am.

You are? Go Wildcats. That's right, Jack, head away baby. Yeah, yeah you a Wildcat? I sure am. You are? Go Wildcats. That's right, Jack. Atta way, baby. That's going. Yeah, yeah. Years ago, years ago. Nice.

Wait, you guys went to the same high school? I mean, yeah, not at the same time. I'm there now. Yeah, yeah. I was there like 15, 35 years ago. Did you carve your name on the wall? What? Did you carve your name on the wall?

Sure did. Hey, am I a Wildcat? You sure are. Carve my name like everybody does. Every McCurnan Wildcat carves their name on the wall. Wow. Yeah. Is that like a school tradition? That's right.

And do people want you to do that, or is that something they look down upon? Oh, no. It's a great way to encourage Wildcat spirit. Oh, okay. Leave your name on the wall. All right. Have you carved your name, or is it something you do on your last day? Not yet. You do it on your way out.

You do it on your Brexit. Okay, right. When you're making your way to the Brexit. Right. That's right, yeah. As Pasino once said. That's right. When you're making your way to the Brexit, right? That's right, yeah. As Pasino once said. That's right. Yeah. And how old are you?

I guess I imagined you were gonna be an older person, a politician of sorts. I am a politician, you know, Scott, all a politician has to be is someone who wants to do good for the people, right? But I am 17 years old. You're 17 years old. That's right.

And you go to? McKernan High School. McKernan High School. Go Wildcats. Go, of course. It's your boy, Troy. It's your boy Troy. It's your boy Troy. Do I call you It's your boy Troy?

If you would, if you could. Both would and could. Great, thank you. Okay. Yeah, I'm running for senior class president. Senior class president, oh, congratulations. Thank you. I remember, a friend of mine did that in high school,

and what are the responsibilities when you become senior class president? Well, normally people care about like prom, or you know, doing the yearbook at the end of the year. Does prom stand for something? I've always wondered. It's short for promenade. Promenade.

That's right. It means you're promenading. Okay. Like promenading down the street. That's right, yeah. Like sort of like gallivanting or like? Yeah, well, you know, it's just the first time that maybe you put someone on your arm

and you promenade together. You can't promenade by yourself. That's why prom is a date-based event. know, it's just the first time that maybe you put someone on your arm and you promenade together You can't promenade by yourself. That's why prom is a date based event. Oh, that's right No, do people go I've heard of something called STAD. Yeah, you can go STAD to prom, but you are no longer promenading Okay, you're you're just you are you are sort of an anti prom black hole at prom Okay, go by yourself. I to just put further social pressure on prom. But yeah, that's normally what presidents care about. I am running on a slightly different platform. I'm looking more for the long game, Scott.

Oh, okay. I'm running on the buddy system platform. I want every McCrinn and Wildcat to have a permanent buddy for life because I really don't want any of us to die alone and turn into weird tiny mummies. Wow. Okay. Die alone. Yeah. And turn into... okay I understand that you don't want people to die alone. That's right. Who wants to die alone? I don't want that for any of my wildcats. Some would say we all die alone.

Yeah I mean whether you're married or not. Unless you unless you die at the exact split second. Sure sure, sure, sure, sure. that your wife or partner does. But even so, you're still in your own sort of, your own body by yourself. Yeah, you leave your mortal coil by yourself. Some would say shuffle it off. You shuffle it off, but.

Second act of Hamlet. True, okay. That's from the second act of Hamlet. I thought you were off the clock. I'm just, hey, the mind's always working. I'm looking for second act. It's hard to be off the clock when you have a mind like yours. Just for that one quote, we were back in the second act, but now we're out.

Okay, good. Thank you for enhancing that one moment of a second act. Appreciate it. Of this third act. So when people die, they shuffle off. They shuffle off, yeah. They then go to, where do you believe people go when they die?

Ah! If anywhere. I think we all return to like a glowing orb and we work on projects. Okay, that makes sense. I've heard of that. Yeah, what kind of like school projects sort of stuff? Like you can like design your own projects

and you can have like team leaders and stuff. Project managers. Yeah, yeah, project managers. And like they can be any kind of projects, you know, kind of like, uh, like being an Eagle Scout or something, you might like make a garden or like, you know, build some shelves for your school library or something. Yeah. I have many projects that I'm putting off until I'm in the orb. That's a good idea.

Yeah. Cause some of those projects will probably only be possible when you're like working with people from all times in space. Yeah. I don't want wanna have everything done. I want something to do when I get to the work. Oh, sure, because it's eternity. It's eternity.

You wanna leave some stuff. You leave some stuff. Yeah, that's why I haven't watched The Wire. Yeah. I'm leaving that. That's your project for when you're in. Yeah, that's gonna be one of my projects. That's gonna take, I mean, approximately.

Most of forever. Yeah, 50 hours. I'm gonna have to rewatch, because every time I try the pilot, I'm like, this is too dense. Yeah. Sure. But yeah, so yeah, you can die alone,

but I'm talking about like, you know, those sad people, like in New York City apartments, where there's a smell, and then they find them amongst a bunch of newspapers. Oh, that's what you mean when you say... And they're tiny mummies. Tiny mummies. Yeah, they've been like mummified in their own house.

Yeah. Like, I just don't want... When I sit in my chemistry class, and I look at my friends, my fellow Wildcats, and I think, these are names on the walls, these are friends I've promenaded with, I can't imagine any of them being tiny mummies.

My greatest fear is dying as a tiny mummy. Or dying and then becoming a tiny mummy. Do they become mummified just in their own juices and stuff? That's right, yeah. Imagine just your clothes and filth becoming what King Tut would use on like his bandages Like even on their face they become mummified? And they're just like really tiny gross mummies

Your face would tend to liquify Yeah Unless you were wearing like a ski mask when you die Oh yeah I don't know what the ratio the statistics show of how many people wear ski masks That's a great- you know what Scott I'm gonna add that to- that to my, that's going to be a plank in my platform now. It's like if you don't have a buddy or your buddy moves too far away to check up on you, at least go to sleep in a sleep mask so that your face won't turn into liquid

when you become a tiny mummy. So why are you so obsessed with this topic? What happened? Did you read an article or? Did you ever see like a mummy exhibit, Scott? Meaning at the museum? Like the Museum of Natural History or something like that? Yeah, did you ever see mummies?

I've seen one or two. Yeah, one or two. Did you ever see the movie The Mummy? The Mummy. Are we talking with Frasier? That's right. Whites? Oh yes, White.

I thought you were saying something else. Rachel Whites. Rachel Wise. Whites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, White. I thought you were saying something else. Rachel Whites. Rachel Wise. Whites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. I thought you were just saying Whites for some reason. There's some, no, no, no. Okay, no. We want to reassure the listener you're not doing that. No, I was not saying that. I was just, I was just... You were coming up with another actor.

That's right. Okay. Yes, I have seen that film. The Rock was in The Mummy 2, I believe. Yeah, or 3. No, the... Scorpion King. Oh, you're right, you're right. Right at the end of 2 and then 3. Yeah. Yeah, or 3? No, the... Scorpion King. Oh, you're right, you're right.

Right at the end of 2 and then 3. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. He was the villain in 2 and then they had a spin-off film called The Scorpion King. That was more like a prequel, right? Like, explaining why he became a villain. I think you're right. It's the opposite of a sequel, which happens after the film. Right, this happens before.

I only saw the non-CGI version. Oh. They released a non-CGI version of the Mummy movies. That must be really boring. Yeah, it was short. It was like 15 minutes long. Uh-huh. But more moving, and yes, I did cry.

OK. Whoa. I would imagine you get a real appreciation for actors who have to work with CG. Yeah. Yeah, because they're all. So you have to work with CG. Yep, yeah. What do you call it, CG? CG, it saves time. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

So when people say CG and I can see them going into the eye, I'm like, get it over with. It's like, ugh, stop wasting my time. I know what you're saying. Time is so precious. Time is money. You are not in the industry. Yeah, I'm like, oof.

So you saw the mummy. I saw the mummy. It's your boy Troy, and you? I just, I couldn't unsee it, you know? Those little bugs getting under people's skin and eating them, so I just like... What's that part? You know, like there's those...

Oh no, you saw the different version. I didn't see the eyes. What happens? Oh, well, gosh, there's these bugs, I think they're called scarabs. Scarabs, yeah. Yeah, and they can get under your skin and they just eat you from within.

It's like- That happens? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty rough. You know the scene where Frasier, Brendan Frasier- And whites? And whites are there and they say, hey, look out. Yeah. It happens right after that.

Oh, because otherwise I was like, what is this scene for? It sounds like, Jack, it sounds like you really enjoyed the non CG version. Yeah Why not just you know, we could get you a copy of the CG. We have a connection Yeah, I don't know. I don't know like honestly I wish I could have seen the non CG version because then I wouldn't have this Fear of scarabs of mummy scarab phobia. Yeah, scarab phobia, mummy phobia, but I love ancient Egypt otherwise.

Oh, really, what do you love? Other than mummies? All the other parts? All the other parts, yeah. Like what do you love about it? Papyrus mostly, hieroglyphics. Sure, yeah. Sand?

Sand. Do you like pyramids? Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah. Oh, yeah, wait. Do you think I could go to the beach and like pretend I was in Egypt? Yeah, you probably could. You'd have a better time. Yeah, pyramids are cool, but they do house mummies, so that's like right on the line for me.

Yeah, although, you know, there are a lot of things that house things you're probably scared of. Like, what else are you scared of? Let's see, well, I'm scared of small biplanes crashing in the Egyptian desert. Okay, well, you know, there is an airplane hanger that houses these biplanes. Oh yeah, I don't like that. Also in Egypt, so they would be near the mummies, so it's like...

You're probably just scared of the mummies. Yeah, well, I haven't taken a lot of time to parse it out. I might write my college essay about my fears all based on the mummy, but I haven't decided yet. Still trying to work on what my safety and target schools are. You're not trying to go to a college in Egypt, are you? No, God, no.

Although, I would want to study abroad there just to touch it, but then get out. Papyrus. Yeah, papyrus, herpaphix, sort of pyramids. Yeah, so you saw this one film. Yeah. And you became terrified of people dying alone and becoming mummies.

That is the modern day mummy. We don't put our organs in canapic jars anymore. We like, we are- I do. You put your organs- I have done it, yes. Which organs? Other people's organs, Jake? I put my gallbladder into a mason jar

of preserving fluid as a good luck charm. Okay. Where do you keep that? Don't you need that? Right by my bed. Yeah, why did you have your gallbladder out? Why didn't you take out, like, you know, your appendix or something?

It was a trick back when I was with the magicians. Oh. It was like, watch this. And I reached, I sliced open my gut, reached in and yanked out my gallbladder. That's not a magic trick. There's just like a razor blade sitting on this table. Could you like blow out a different thing?

Yeah, here let me blow on it. Oh, yeah. Could you sterilize this? Yeah, here we go. OK, great. Ah! Oh my it? Yeah, could you sterilize this? Yeah, here we go. Okay, great. Ah! Ah! Oh my god.

That is, no, it's stupid, it's already gone, it's already gone, I can't do it again, it's not here. You were trying for your gallbladder? Yeah, you were just gonna go for a different origin. It's not here. So disgusting. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But you did prove that there is no gallbladder.

What's this, what's this? That's your spleen. Okay, I need that, I need that. That's not magic, yeah, put it back in. Oh wait, oh, that's a bunch of rubble from a brick or something. Oh, gosh. You know what?

Hey, Jack, do you have a buddy? Because I know you graduated 20 years ago from a current- I mean, when I was a Wildcat, I had a buddy, but once I graduated, that went away. Well, that's what I'm trying to change, is that the buddy system is forever. Because I'm a little worried

that you might become a tiny mummy. I am too. I'm worried about it. And part of your platform is you don't want any wild ones, past or future or present. That's right. I would love to have a buddy. That would change a lot. Also, I sleep by a vat of preserving fluid.

Jack, buddy, you are walking into becoming a tiny mummy. You're like a hair breath away from becoming a mummy. I don't think so. I'm all right. I wrap myself up in bandages. No! No! No!

You're like pre-mummying right now. I need to be swaddled. No! I can't sleep unless I'm swaddled in bandages. No, Jack. Jack. Let me ask you another question. What shape is your apartment building?

I mean, I don't know. It's wide at the top and then it ne'er tapers down. It tapers down? Oh, oh, wait a minute. Yeah, and it's top. Scott is in an upside down. The top comes to a point.

Oh, the top comes to a point. Oh, no. The top comes to a point. Yeah, the top comes to a point. Is that like you were describing a reverse pyramid for a second? My room is the shape of, it's kind of like shoulders and then it tapers down.

That's my room. Is that like a sphinx? It's like of like shoulders and then it tapers down. That's my room. Is that like a sphinx? It's like. Shoulders? The top of it, my room is an odd shape. It's very snug around me. It's like, it's box sized. I see.

Can you liken it to something like the Luxor? My building is very Luxor shaped. But your room is like a sarcophagus? Yes, that's right. Okay. It sounds like a coffin. Oh, yes, that's right. Okay, Jack.

But the building is Luxor-shaped. Listen, I already have ten buddies because I have to set a good example, but I will take you on as my eleventh buddy. Oh my God. Wow. I just can't. You're just... You're Boy Troy, I appreciate that. You're Boy Troy, it's got you.

This is your Boy Troy. It's your Boy Troy. This is your boy Troy. It's your boy Troy. It's your boy Troy. It's your boy Troy. It's your boy Troy. I appreciate it. I think we started it, this is your boy Troy. This is your boy Troy, it's your boy Troy. Guys, everywhere you look is your boy Troy.

Okay, okay, okay. If you need him, that's why you should vote for me. Okay. I'm gonna send in my alumni voting ballot to vote for you. Oh, I didn't know all alumni get to. McCurren is a very different type of school. All alumni are allowed to vote in the class elections. Wow.

What is the sort of, how do you become a buddy? What do you have to do? What are your responsibilities? Great, so if elected, I will, everyone fills out a very extensive questionnaire about their skills, their strengths, their weaknesses. And you should think of it as like the yin to your yang

will be your buddy. So it's not necessarily gonna be your best friend. It might not be like the person you wanna like promenade with. But it will be the person who's like the opposite of you in a good way. So like if you start to become a recluse, maybe you're paired with really outgoing person

who's like get out of here. You're about to become a mummy. So say I'm filling out this form and my strength is I'm a hard worker, and my weakness is sometimes I work too hard. Great. Okay, so, wow. You sound like a real perfect guy, Scott. Whoa, good... That was a really inspiring personal assessment.

Okay, well, I don't know. That's just my life. I'd probably pair you with someone who's lazy, but knows how to appreciate life. Okay, so we balance each other. Maybe someone like It's your boy Troy, honestly. I might take you on as my 12. You're lazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It sounds like you're a go-getter. You have 11 buddies at this point. Yeah, but I sleep so late. My mom's always like, Troy! It's your boy Troy's breakfast! It's getting cold! Okay, okay. My mom makes me waffles every morning.

Shout out to my mom. Love to my mom. Sure, shout out to your mom. Do you wanna give a shout out at all, Adam? Yeah, I'd like to shout out to it's your boy Troy's mom. Sounds great, I mean. Waffles, that sounds amazing. Not healthy, but shows dedication and love. Yeah, and Jack, do you wanna give any shout outs?

Shout out to waffles. Just waffles. Shout out to waffles as an entity. Jack, it has to be a person, it has to be a person. Yeah, I'm sorry. You need more people in your life, Jack. Please shot out to waffles as an entity it has to be a person has to yeah okay people in your life Jack whoever invented waffles dr. waffle shout out sorry making that I that's a somebody else that's a true cop out okay so somebody that actually know that acquaintance of yours not just the idea of son okay shout out to your boy Troy's mom. Okay, well. Okay. Yeah, I'll take it.

She deserves it. Sorry, copycat. Adam did that already. It's kind of a copycat shout out. Okay, okay. Shout out to the Statue of Liberty. Not a person. I mean, in the form of a person.

In the form of a person. Like a live person. Yeah. Okay, shout out to Molly Ringwald. Are you friends with Molly Ringwald? No, but I think she does great. Okay, I'll take it. She does great?

Yeah. She does great. Like in her life. All right. Okay. I saw her in a play in the Upper East Side. Oh really? Yep.

And can I ask, did you happen to go out on stage? I wanted to jump up there, but it was a one act play. Oh, that's too bad. Why would you even go to a one act play? The publicity was not clear. Okay, it said there may be two acts in this play? Well, they said an unspecified number of acts. Okay, so what do you have to do when you have a buddy?

Do you hang out with them 24-7? No, no, no. So you get to know them in high school, and then, you know, you do basically like a bi-weekly checkup. Twice a week or once every two weeks? Once every two weeks. Okay, thank you. Was that bi-monthly I guess, yeah. Bi-monthly, yeah. So you just check up, make sure they're not getting mummified,

make sure they're not like, they leave their house, they're not just Postmates. In person or is this a, you can do it remotely? You can Skype it, you know, cause you know, over the years, McCurn and grads, they go far, you know, so we're not all just gonna be in town. So you're not asking people to just stay in town. No, no, no, just tabs.

I want tabs on every single person who's ever gone to my high school. How about a private investigator? What if you don't have time to do it yourself, but you hire a private investigator? You can outsource your buddy ship. You know, if you get really busy in your 30s, your 40s, you got stuff going on,

but as long as you haven't forgotten about your buddy. How about in your 50s? You don't have as much stuff going on, probably. That's like you're just about to retire, so you're winding down. You should probably be returning to the buddydom a little harder at that point, cause it's like getting more real. Yeah. Um, but yeah, you know, I just like, I don't want any single person

who's written their name on that wall to suffer the fate of becoming a tiny, tiny mummy. What about when people get married? I mean, the ultimate buddy. Well, I don't know. As you guys mentioned, we still die alone and, and isn't it better to have a worksheet assigned buddy that you had since you were 17? To be a backup buddy. Some person you-

Backup buddy. Yeah, she's a backup buddy system. A BBB. A BBB, yeah, a BBB, yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So what now, I guess my question is, is what if these people don't like each other? Oh, sure.

What is the incentive? How do you incentivize this? Yeah, so then this is what I would say is like, hey, you better buddy them into liking you. OK. Yeah, just like force it. So yeah, almost like a bullying. Or like use that sort of, you know,

vengeance can be a great motivator in life. So like I want to. It's best served cold. That's right. Serve it nice and icy. Just like you want to show your buddy, you don't need them when they check up on you I got friends get out of here buddy, but you still have to talk right three seconds Well, give me a little example of this like you're you're Jack's buddy. I am Jack's buddy. Hey, how's it going?

Hey, Jack, have you look a little pale? Have you been outside your house in the last two weeks? No, I have not okay Jack I'm gonna send over a task rabbit right now to open your door and walk you around the block. Great. You're going to send over a what now? A task rabbit. What's a task rabbit? Yeah, it's an app where you can have people do tasks for you.

Oh, I just have rabbits. Oh, how many rabbits do you have? Currently? Yeah. 17. How about in the past? Total, my lifetime? Yeah, lifetime supply of bunnies.

502. Okay. Oh my God. Now, Jack, my lifetime? Yeah, lifetime supply of bunnies. Let me check, I keep track here. 502. Oh my God. Okay. Now Jack, is this tied to your magician upbringing? Yes. Okay, well I know that- Do they keep disappearing? Yes, and not when I want them to.

All right, listen, I know that can really be a trigger for you. I need you to put less time into your rabbits and more time into getting some vitamin D and talking with humans. Come on, Jack. Oh no, I love the rabbits. Jack? They do things for humans. Come on, Jack. Oh no, I love the rabbits. Jack? They do things for me. They are task rabbits.

All right, Jack, I want you to imagine that your whole apartment is a magician, and you gotta get away from it for a bit. Yeah, this whole apartment, sarcophagus inside a pyramid. I gotta wrap myself up in some bandages to hide from my own apartment. No, no, no, I want you to get away from it so hard that you're outside of your apartment.

I'm gonna bury myself deep down in my apartment. No, I want you to get away from it so hard that you're outside of your apartment. I'm gonna bury myself deep down in my apartment. Um, no Jack. Uh, Jack, I want you to bury yourself so hard that you go into the sewers, swim past the Hamilton poop, and pop back up in like a park and at least sit on a bench for three minutes. Alright, I'll see you, for a fellow Wildcat I'll do it. Oh, amazing! Thank you. A buddy can't give up, you know?

Yeah, that was a, what a demonstration. Are you gonna do this, Jack? And scene. Oh Jack! What? Were you just playing with me? No, I just got inspired. I wanted to help you.

Oh, thank, yeah, that really, wow, I really- Yeah, you're off the clock, but you're- I really felt like that landed. That was extra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Wow. Well, this is inspiring.

Thank you. This is your boy Troy. It's your boy Troy. It's your boy. Troy either one. Okay You'll answer to either it's your boy. Troy or there's your boy. Troy. This is your boy Troy, you know, this is your boy. Troy. It's your boy. Troy. There's a boy So you're in a crowd and I shout there's your book. This is your boy. Troy. I'm gonna say oh Jack You're outside. I'm so proud of you. Yeah, or if go, it's your boy Troy. You'll also answer. Hey Jack. It's your outside I'm so proud of you But if somebody named Troy is announcing themselves to their friends in proximity to you you might accidentally pay attention to them

I might accidentally pay attention. That's okay. We all live through faux pas every day and it's your boy Troy, what do you hope that someone like Jack here can do for you? You know well, you know like you know life has many peaks and valleys. So far my whole life has been a peak. The earth has a lot of peaks and valleys too. That's true, yeah. That's no joke. So I just you know I just hope the same would be there for some reason. Do you see some valleys approaching? I don't. I have a great family, a lot of friends, I do well in school and I'm well liked but there might be some. A lot of white privilege?

Yeah, currently, yeah. White, I'm sorry, I meant white's privilege. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am, that's mine. Rachel White. Yeah, you have a life just a lot like hers. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Ooh, gosh, she was so good in the constant cognitive.

Yeah, all right, well, we're just about out of time, we just have time for one last thing here, that's a little something called plugs. Seen them on the TV and the silver screen. What does that even mean? Just look up their address and send them some cash. Just watch their Twitter feeds plugs. Oh, very nice. Nice and short too. That was

Astroneodle with blue plugs. Is that standing? Technology that people have is incredible. Yeah, well, I mean, it's also musical talent. It's not just technology. I'm just impressed with the recording fidelity. Okay, I see. What are we plugging, Adam? What do you got? Obviously we have Other People. OP. Other Peeps. OP. Other Peeps, September 9th.

Is, now, is Tretch from Naughty by Nature, is he part of this? Yeah, well, we had to pay him for the title. Yeah. Just two thirds of it. Exactly, anytime you use the word people or the word other in any sentence or title you have to pay treach.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. So that's, you know, that's unfortunate. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. You made a mint off the other woman. Oh, yeah. Oof. Oh, boy. The, uh, and then My Blind Brother, September 23rd. Mm-hmm.

And, uh, you getting back on TV soon? Maybe. Oh, yeah? Maybe. What do you got back on TV soon? Maybe. Oh yeah? Maybe. What do you got on the hopper? I don't know. You got Krampus 2 coming down the pike? Coming right down the pike.

Great. So get out there to that pike. Get right down the pipes. It was great to see you, Scott. We're not over yet. Oh. Great to see Jack and it's your boy Troy. No, no, no.

They have to do their plugs. I know they have to do their plugs. All right. So Jack, what are you plugging here? My friend, Will Hines, has a podcast called Don't Get Me Started. That's something that I have never listened to, but I hear it's good.

Yeah. Well, you know, the title is not an admission to not actually press play on the podcast. Yeah, it's not good salesmanship. Don't get me started, so I haven't, but I hear it's a good podcast. All right, and it's your boy Troy. This is your boy Troy.

Wait, now you're back to this is your boy Troy. No, no, just, you know, just, I wanna, like Jack said, I don't really wanna emphasize my name. It's your boy Troy, please vote for me. And yeah, you can have- Can anyone vote, by the way? We talked about- Well, any McCurnan Wildcat can vote. And yeah, you can... Can anyone vote by the way? Well, any McCurn and Wildcat can vote. And is it open to the general public as well?

If you want to just throw me your support on Twitter, that'd be great. That's really... just vote for It's your boy Troy. That's all I got. I want to plug... Hey, we're doing shows out there in the UK, merry old England. At the end of the month, we're gonna be out, let's see, September 25th, we are in Manchester,

September 26th in Nottingham, September 27th in Leeds, and London on September 28th. That's Paul F. Tompkins, Lauren Lapkus, myself. We're gonna have a good time. That's gonna be so fun. That'll be so fun. That'll be so fun. I'm very fun Wait a minute who just walked in the room here. Oh, it's me. Oh, I thought I was gonna be on the show It's your boy Jack. It's my boy Jack. It's my boy Jack. It's your boy. No, it's my boy Jack your boy

Jack. No, you have to say it's my boy Jack. It's my boy Jack. That's right. Yeah. All right I also by the way, this is the first time since we announced it that I can talk about it. The Comedy Bang Bang TV series is ending, and we're coming back next month with our last 10 episodes. So October 28th, we will have Kaylee Cuoco and Gillian Jacobs with our Halloween episode and doing two episodes a week.

And then our series finale, two part series finale on December 2nd. So be sure to check out those final 10 episodes. Let's close up the old plug bag. Gonna listen to some plugs. Gonna listen to some plugs. Gonna listen to some plugs. Gonna listen to some plugs. Gonna listen to some plugs. Gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna listen to some Plugs, gonna I can never get this right. Great seeing you. Good luck with the election. When is the election?

It's the second week of school. So coming up. Yeah, I mean today's Labor Day. So this is your first week, I would imagine. That's right. Back tomorrow. That's right. So next week. Yeah, yeah. Why so early?

That's... Because we've been campaigning all summer. It also seems like you should have done it like at the end of last year. Yeah, well, McCurnan's a unique high school. It really is. Okay, and Jack. Hey. What can one say?

Thanks so much. Yeah. Jack, I'm still not clear what it is you do, but. Nor am I, but. Yeah, well, it was great to be here. Okay. Hey, all right. Yeah.

You got any movies that you're about to see? Yeah, I'm gonna go see The Conversation By Coppola. Yeah, are you seeing the non CGI version of that? Yes. I wanted to see the practical effects version of the conversation Okay, that's gonna be the whole film. I believe. Oh great. Okay good and Adam good luck to you You too, my friend. You too You too, my friend. You too? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhh uhhhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh a