Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Alimony Tony’s Valimony Showny 2024 (Paul F. Tompkins, Mandell Maughan, Mary Sohn, Mitra Jouhari, Nicole Parker)

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

It’s that time of year! Once again, Alimony Tony (Paul F. Tompkins) convenes with a hand-picked assortment of his wonderful ex-wives to talk about love, life, and substantial checks!Belinda: Mandell MaughanJosephine: Mitra JouhariJin: Mary SohnEleanore: Nicole Parker Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everyone, Scott Ackerman here. Welcome to another bonus bang, where we are re-releasing great episodes of comedy bang-bang out from behind the paywall. Now we're in the middle and at the conclusion, actually, of our latest series, Even Moramoni Tony, which is, of course, focusing on the great character, Alamone Tony, aka Tony Jacchironi, played by Paul F. Tompkins. You know Alamone Tony. He started as a catchphrase submiter.

and then came on the show and we're airing a lot of his stuff that we have aired before, but today is a really special one because we are releasing out from behind the paywall for the first time ever the Alamoni Tony's Valamoni Shoney 204. This was originally released in the CBB Presents feed on February 14th, 2024. Now, we just released

the 2026 version a couple of days ago, and you're going to hear the 2024 episode. In this one, Alamone Tony convenes with a handpicked assortment of his wonderful ex-wives to talk about love, life, and substantial checks. Playing Tony's lucky ex-wives are Mandel Mon as Belinda, Mitra Juhari, as Josephine,

Mary Sonas, Jin, and Nicole Parker as Eleanor. This is a great episode. You're going to really enjoy it. Now, if you enjoy it, as I said you would, and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as other shows like CBB Presents, which this Valaboni-Toney-Toney-V-V-Loney-Soney, is a part of. It's a CBB Presents. This is an example of one. We also have Scott hasn't seen where I watch movies with Sprague the Whisperer. The Neighborhood Listen, College Town. Become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show we've ever done throughout the years. add-free new episodes, even more original shows. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang,

but until then, enjoy this bonus bang. The ink's dried on our papers of divorce, but you'll only take this pen from me by use of force. And even though you're now out on you. your own knee is what I'm paying for in your mailbox

there's a check it was my joy to write it's got so many zeros it's such a wondrous sight you can tell that check

in two it's all the same to me because I I just love to pay al-imony. All right, that's enough of that. That's enough of that. Welcome once again, everyone.

Oh, thank you, thank you. Bravo. That's all right. Welcome, once again. It's another year. It's Alamori Tone's Valamori Shodi. I am Tony Jaciaroni, better known as Alibori, and also sometimes known as Weirdomoni, Aliboni, Tony.

That is my Nob-Doo, Song Parity. And you heard one right up at the top. I write song parodies about paying alimony. Now, why do I do that? I'll tell you right now why I do that. It's because I have been married many, many times. The marriages have not worked out, but the upside is I love paying alimony.

I always marry for love. I don't marry just so I can get divorced to pay alimony. But I do love paying alimony. It gives me a real charge, let me tell you. So, silver lining. And once again, for my Valamori Shoney, I am joined by several of my ex-wives, and what a pleasure it is to see them. We have all remained on good terms.

Some of them take the alimony, some of them refuse it. It's all the same to me, like I sang in the song, because I am independently wealthy. My mother invented gaseous paper for NASA. Now, with me as always, my co-host wife, number three. It's Belinda Rogers. Better don't as, Brogers.

So happy to be here. Brogers, how have you been last I've seen you? So many DMs from the fans since the last show. Dare I call this the Brogers and Alamone Tony show? That's the suggestions giving to me. That's the suggestions given to me. I mean, fans after fans after fans. Oh, you're saying the fans are saying you should call it the Rogers and Alamoni Tony.

They are insisting. They are insisting. I mean, they love it. They love the duo. They love the banter. They love the chemistry we have. I say, guys, we're divorced. We're not getting married again.

That's right. Just because we have good chemistry does not mean that we have to stay married, which we did not. No, we did not. And, Brogert, how is your business going? The last we spoke, you were doing party. Booming. Booming, boom. And I have to thank you because ever since the show, again, the fans, oh, we want to work with Brogers.

She's the real star. There's so many different messages. I'm getting every day. You know what I mean? It's filled. I had to hire a social media person to run it all because I could not respond to all the messages I was getting. So you have a stranger who is responding, are they responding as you? Well, she's a college student. She goes to. Okay. That doesn't really answer my question. Well, I wanted to give her credit. She's, she's currently getting an education. Something hardly anybody does. Exactly. And that's why I chose her, you know. Because she is a college student. Because she is a college student. And I wanted to reward her for furthering her education. What year are we talking? She's a junior. A junior.

So she's committed to at least three years of college. And has she declared a major? Communications. Oh, she does sound like a real up-and-comber. Well, I thought, who better to communicate than a communications major? Rogers, everything you say makes sense. Mm-hmm. As always.

And so now I hope you'll answer my question that I asked you a while ago. Don't even remember it. Does she respond to these direct messages? in the character of you. What happens is she comes to me and she gives me a suggestion about how she wants to respond. And I say, no, no, no, no.

That's not what I would say. And then I give her verbatim what I would say. And she types it out into the message. She presses. And then she lets me know if we get a response, which we always do. Well, this sounds, if I may, it sounds superfluous

and unnecessary and time consuming. I don't think so. We have a great relationship as a friendship. I think that's wonderful. I'm almost mentoring hers, which she calls me her mentor. She calls me her mentor. What would push it over?

I don't want to speak for her, but she does call me her mentor. I think that I'm guiding her in all areas of life. I've taught her how to cook. I've taught her how to run the business. I've taught her how to communicate with fans. I've taught her how to communicate with her mother. Things were not going well there. But I really solidified that relationship.

She sounds like a burden. I don't think so. I think, you know, I never had children. We never had children together. No, we never did. And so this for me is quite an experience because it's like having a college student child running around the house. You know? College student child. Running around the pit of pat. Well, she's quick. She's got energy. She moves. Bim vigor. Mm-hmm. Exactly. And do you pay her or is this more of an intern? Of course I pay her.

By I, Guire, how about you pay her? It's $15 an hour. is what we started at. As she gained more responsibilities, we bumped it up to 1525. And then, of course, there's bonuses for every holiday that she works. How long has she been with you, this gal? Three months. And what is her name?

It's, well, it's funny that you ask it because. I know, it's a weird question. I don't know. No, no, no. It's funny that you ask her because her name is Danielle, but I call her Danny. So I was going to say Danny. but really her name is Danielle.

That's cute. Yes. I like a daddy for me. I think that's sweet. Well, we've talked about that when we were talking about if we ever had a child, which we never wanted to.

But if we did, we would name her Danny, or him, Danny. Or them Danny. Or them Danny. Now, if it was twins, and we were going to do with both Danny.

Yes. And now, you know, Broger, since we, you were an early wife of mine, and I found out since we've been together, I am barren.

Are you kidding. Yes, the doctor said I have no motility. And I said, did you say low motility? He says no. Now, so the sperm count is there, but it's just not moving. It's tons. But they're just sitting there. They just don't

want to work. They just don't want to work. Nobody wants to work these days, including my sperm. You know, it may, I hear a lot of people that come from money, that it's really, you know, it's inherited, that, that happens because your sperm are almost acting out the life

that you're living, you know. Oh, no, because I'm a bad of leisure. Yes. You've never had to work for your money. No, I never have it. I never will. Why would they? That's true.

They're just following your lead. My sperm mimicking my generational wealth behaviors. That's, I've read a few papers about it. Well, that's calm if you ask me. Well, I mean, you never wanted children, so is it really... But I mean, now that's all I can think about. Oh, God. Now that it's been taken away from me, it's all I can think about.

You know what? You should take Danny to lunch. Why? Why? what it's like to be a father term. Oh, I see. I see. Okay.

Well, I don't know. Hmm. I don't know if I get that. What's the downside? Well, I guess the downside would be not really getting that vibe. You know, not knowing what it's like because of this person who seems to depend on you for everything. But she, but honestly, she's seeking a father figure. I think you're going to get that vibe from her.

Just, you know what? Just trust me. Have I ever steered you wrong before? No, is the answer. let me set up a lunch. It can be something casual, like a, you know, la salsa or something. Just something simple. Meat for a burrito.

See how it goes. Just a simple burrito meat and greet. And see if I get the feeling. She is desperately looking for a father figure. Desperately. And perhaps she could be a daughter figure for me. Mm-hmm. Yes.

All right. But no guarantees. No. And you don't even know what that's going to do to your sperm. Just acting out. I hadn't even thought of that. might even just trigger them. I mean, I might be too old to be a father, though.

That's the thing. Oh, you know, I don't let age stop me, so... Well, I know, but Rogers, you're cut from a different cloth than I am. That is true. As I said, you're type A minus. That's how type A you are. I like to think myself as A plus. Well, I meant below...

I should have said minus A. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're the negative alphabet integers for your type. Interesting. Type A people see you, and they say, I wish I could get it. done like she does. Of course, yes. Well, you're right about that.

All right. Brogers, I'm now going to introduce our first guest. I'm thrilled. I'm excited. Both? Us? I'm excited to meet her. I'm thrilled to be here.

I'm glad to hear it. And, and, Rogers, I'm thrilled to have you here as always. Thank you. Thank you for those mouth sounds. I was like to. Hold on a second. I got to get my numbers straight. This part can be cut out.

Shall I sing an interlude song? Of course you should. Welcome to the broader show. We like to have guests like alimony, Tony, but it's not just his show, it's mine too. Please call Danny if you need me. That really turned into a jiggle at me. I like that a lot.

All right. Now, in the past, we've interviewed wife number 16, number 17. and then one number remains mysteriously unnoted in my notes app. But now we're going to introduce this is a pretty recent wife. We're going to go all the way up to number 54. Oh, exciting. And it's none other than Ms. Josephine Tooth Fontaine.

Tony! Jojo, how are you? You're the only person who calls me Jojo. I know what? I didn't think, you know what? Here's the thing, Josephine, is that the first time I said it, it just fell out naturally. It's just like, here's Jojo. Well, that's the thing.

You don't want people to force a nickname. It's pathetic. Exactly. I didn't realize I was going to call you Jojo. And I loved it because normally when people try to give me a nickname, it's Heen. Yeah, why do people do that? I know so many Heens growing up. Trying to be unique, I guess.

I guess. It's sad. I mean, Jojo's right there. And I look at you when I see a Jojo. Why? Because that's who you are. And I think, because, you know, because Josephine, a beautiful grand. name. And I'm not.

No, that's now, hold on a second. Sorry, my self-esteem, working on it. You're from, you are from a long line of grand people, the Fontaine family, the Tooth Fontaine family. And, uh. Yes, no tooth or a sure here. You can't have the Fontaine without the tooth. Amen.

That's what my mom and dad say when they hyphenated the names. That's right. And so your father was tooth. My father was tooth. My mom Fontaine. Yes. And how did they meet? We weren't married long enough for me to ask you a lot of these.

questions. It was fast. We were married for 72 hours. But what a 72 hours they were. What a 72 hours. I would say, what a 72 hours. Our 70 was when things started to go south. Yes, it got really ugly. Yeah. Violent, but in a fun way. In a fun. We were laughing the whole time. It was silly, but it was silly, but also it signified the end of our marriage. We knew we couldn't go there again. Exactly. But we were laughing the whole time. We were laughing the whole time. Oh, I love to laugh. We laughed all the way to the emergency room. And still scarred. to this day. Same.

But not emotionally because I was having so much. Exactly. I was having an absolute ball. And I remember the doctor said, please stop smiling. We're trying to put you under it. So Josephine, how have you been? We got divorced.

This is going to be a year and a half now since last we were married. And how have you been to the interim? You know, really good business booming. As you know, I work in private animal security. Animal Security. Yes. And I got a really big client.

Really? Bullseye. Target dog. Well, first of all, this is flabbergastic. I didn't know he had a name. Yes, bull's eye because of the thing around the eye. Yes, exactly. Yes.

And is he nice? Oh, he's an amazing guy. Funny, which you know I love. You love funny. And humble. It's true. For someone who's that famous, humble. And that's, you know, it's hard to come by.

I mean, my grandpa work with Sea Biscuit. Dick. nasty freak. And pervert. They don't talk about it in the movie. He was a small horse and I think he had something to prove. He really did. Yeah.

Deboleu complex. Speak to you, Josephine. So let me ask you, what does your job entail? Like if you're doing private security for bullseye. Yes. What is it that you have to do? So I accompany him to any kind of appearance or a photo shoot or anything where there might be fan interfacing.

Think of like any celebrity who has a bodyguard, like a Taylor Swift or something like that. I'm that for a dog. Absolutely. Do you have an earpiece? I do have an earpiece. What is it connected to? Oh, I can't tell you right. I have to kill you.

Headquarters. Headquarters. Yes. So this is a pretty big operation. Longdecker and tooth. Family business. Of course, collaborating with the Longdecker dynasty. This is quite a marriage of two houses, if I may.

I agree. Because the longdeckers are quite a famous family. They had babe. They had babe. And then they had them until he was the pig in the city. Yeah. And then he decided to go with someone else. Devastating blow.

But we did get Air Bud. That was pretty huge for the company. That was for my time, of course. Of course. And this is the original Air Bud who's very elderly right now. Ancient. Yes. Someone would even say dead.

Yes. It's odd to sell with dogs. But nothing to do with us. No, of course not. It is hard to tell it dogs. Of course not. I mean, they're smiling. Yes, they're always...

Even in death. And that's what I love about them. That's what I love about them. The spirit, the vibe. Do you do just dogs exclusively? Do you have other... People have specialties. I love dogs.

For me, everything else just creeps me out. I think animals are disgusting, except for a beautiful beast of a dog. Really? You don't... No other animal does it for you. No other animal does it for me. If I could press a button and kill the rest of the animals on planet Earth...

Well, Jojo. That would... That is extreme. I know, but that's who I am. That's why we were throwing plates at each other. You don't worry about the ecosystem. No. That's nothing to do with me.

Well, I mean, it will eventually. Nah. I want to be in a bunker by then. Or in space on Mars. Oh, that would be fun. What planet, is there a planet you don't want to go to? Neptune. Why?

Seems freaky there of like pervert vibes. Okay. This is a good question. I'm going to ask the other wives. What planet they don't want to go to? What about you? That I don't want to go to? That you don't want to go to.

I know it's tricky because you're such a positive guy. I am a positive guy. I love all the people. I'm going to say, I'm going to say Saturday because isn't it just gas or is that Jupiter? Just gas. Talk about me after I go to Taco Bell. How about that? I'm silly.

You are silly. I guess, yeah, I guess the one that's just all a big ball of gas because I feel like I'd fall through. That could be scary, but then you can find out what's on the other side. Well, it's just more gas, isn't it? Damn it. You're smart. Let me ask you something.

Would you ever, I understand your hatred for other animals. Uh-huh. Somebody comes to you and they say, we got a big client for you. Mm-hmm. Jonathan the tortoise. Okay. From the Seychelles. Wow.

The oldest land mammal living. Yes. He's over 150 years old. would you take him on? Can we put a dog ear on him, perhaps? So I'm not so sick. Did you say dog gear or a dog ear? Dog ear, but that would be a dog gear.

So in many ways, we're both right. In many ways we are. Jojo, you have that silver lining mentality that I really enjoy. I believe in the future. And I wish it worked out for us, but it didn't. I know. May I ask a question?

Hey. Yes, Roger. It's almost as if you're getting to know each other right here and now. And so I just wonder that 72 hours, what did you talk about? What did you do? South Park. Yeah, we talked about South Park for 72. That makes sense. That makes sense.

And you know, I wasn't a fan. And Jojo brought me around. Look, it's funny. I know they're saying a lot of messed up stuff on there, but I'm laughing. It's very popular. When I'm seeing Kenny, I'm laughing. It's a very popular show. They kill them every time. Cal. That's Carmen. Respect my authorita.

I mean, I'm laughing. And it's just you doing the voice and me doing the voice. Right. And I'm laughing. And I'm laughing to. Pale imitation. Two peas and a pod. Do you like South Park Proches? I've never seen it.

You've never. But it's a popular show. It's a very popular. It's popular. You gotta see it. You gotta see it. There's over 2,000 seasons and you can watch it anytime. Quality is the same of all of them. And let me tell you something.

These guys are irreverent. They take no prisoners. And by the way, guys. It's guys. It's guys. I would assume. very interesting so lovely to meet you

oh it's lovely to meet you too I love weaning a woman in business and that I am any tips for a gal who really can't keep her finances in order uh oh the mentor is that work again the mentor is in well I'd be happy to give you my number

and we can discuss your numbers but of course what I like to say is if you don't need it tomorrow don't buy it today that's so hard because I love buying stuff every day. It's fun to buy stuff. Right.

Do you need it tomorrow? What did you last buy? What was your last purchase? 60 pack of beer. Okay. Okay. 60 pack of beer. And why did you go for the 60 pack?

Well, it was 2.30 racks taped together. Okay. I just felt like it would probably be a good deal if I bought two at the same time. Was it a two for one deal? No. So it wasn't on sale? No. But you just still felt it would be a good deal.

It felt like it could be a good deal. Yeah. Okay. Potentially. Because sometimes when you buy stuff at bulk, like at a Costco or something, then you are getting a good deal. So I thought that maybe perhaps that was what I was doing. Were you at a Costco? No.

Right. It's a great deal, though, because a 50-pack is essentially two cases of beer. And two other beers for them thrown in. And so how's this a good deal? You don't even know what's 60 beers. But you don't even know what it costs. How do you know if it's a good deal? Oh, good question.

I was in a beverage barn, so they kind of set their own prices. Okay. So, 75. $75? Mm-hmm. What kind of beer? Natty. Okay.

Natty's ice for $75 for... Oh, Natty Ice or Natty Bo? Natty Light, actually. Natty Light. Yeah, sort of piss in a can. Absolutely. And do you drink beer? Oh, I feed it to Bullseye.

Got it. Well, it's all... Bullseye will drink. Then you can ride it off because it's a business expense. There you go. What's more adorable than a dog drinking beer? I can't think of anything. Okay.

Ask an answer. How about all the South Park kids riding that while it drinks beer? Hi-de-ho. So that's kind of funny, too. It is kind of funny, Jojo. You make me laugh. Thanks. All right.

There's no plates there about it on there. Oh. Oh. It was startling, but it did. Oh, it really woke me up. Good morning. All right. JoJo, I hope you can stick around.

I hope so too. All right, next up. Boy, it's been a while. This is wife number six. Please welcome to the show. The one and only gin. Boot. Oh, dang it.

I want you to round the corner. I want to surprise you out this bush. How are you doing? You know, I'm always Zoom. Good. Tony, it's nice to see you. It's nice to see you. Your little gorgeous smile. Oh, well, you, coming from you? Come on. The person who invented the gorgeous smile?

I got a bag and fixed my teeth. They look terrific. Thank you. And they look natural, too. They don't look fake. Okay, well, the first set was quite wooden. So I just, I said, make them longer and less square. Right. And were they, like, it was it stained wood? Or did they look like teeth?

Oh, I did the stained wood. I did the stained wood. But then I asked them on the two front ones to do like someone left a drink on it too long. Oh, little rigged. With a little ram. Yeah, absolutely. But it's scared. It's scared, folks.

So I said, you know what, give me regular set. You know. I'm not fancy at all. Well, they look terrific. Thank you. And I imagine you could eat more things than you used to be able to eat. Oh, yeah. Did you see me wolfing down that candy apple?

I did. Oh, I was. went to town. I didn't know it was you at first. I was like, well, I can't be gin. She can't eat a candy apple. Exactly. I keep your guessing. You really do. Now, we were married for a year and a half. And that first year was wonderful. Oh, my goal. And then that last months. It was wonderful. Well, I felt like you did not support my dreams. Oh. And you know what? You're right. I had some time to do some introspection and I realized I could have been more supportive of your dreams. Well, you know, I always want to be my own boss.

That's right. So I, you know, did Herbalife for a Wall. That's right. And you said that you thought it was a pyramid scheme and crap. I said it. But just so you know, I did say that out of concern. You did. The word crap, I guess, was a little judgmental.

But it was not judgmental on you. It was more of the herbal life people I thought were crap. And you know what? You were right? You were right? They were crap. Well, that's, I mean, that's a cold comfort to me that I'm right about that. Because I know they did take a lot of your money in time.

They did. But did you end up becoming your own boss another way? Well, as you know, I hit you up when I started doing leggings. That's right. And that fell right through. Another pyramid escape. Right, right, right. And I said, you know what, never again.

And then I got into Arbomb. That's right. Yeah, and though some products are doing well, others call, they are just suffering. What are the ones that are not doing well? Oh, the fizzy ginseng drinks. Those are not moving. Right. Much like these teeth.

They're not going anywhere. No. Look out candy apples. You always made me laugh. You always made me laugh at you. No. I mean, I'm no Jojo. Okay.

I'm no Joe Joe. I'm no Cartman, that's for sure. But who could be? No, exactly, exactly, exactly. But actually, I'm so glad you're here too because Brogers, I feel like I need to get my finance is in order and perhaps I could be part of your lady business day. Rogers, they're really putting you to work on this episode.

You know what would be lovely, Tony, is if you could schedule a sort of class that I could teach, sponsored by you, provide some a catering, you know, so we could have lunch together. And I could kind of teach all these lovely ladies about finances and running your own businesses and the red flags to tell, is this a pyramid scheme? Is it not? You know, because I think people don't know the red flags to look for. Yeah. I think a helpful thing to do, and this is even before we set up the luncheon,

is to if you get involved in any kind of sort of scheme like this, to remember the name of it, you know, they say the name is the thing. Then you type it into the computer, that name, and then afterwards, pyramid scheme. And then see what comes up. I never even thought of that. In a long time, you could head it off at the past. Okay. Well, I'm not a computer guy.

No. But, you know, Brexton, my daughter, she and my other daughter, Jalen, they are so good on the computer. I said, girls, can you come help me with a computy? And they're like, no, we're doing our games. So I'll ask them. I'll ask them next time. How old are those two now? Oh, they're 16-19.

16-19? Boy, time flies. It does, doesn't it? And they're wonderful girls. Of course, they don't come from our union. No. But I did get a chance to meet them and act as a social. sort of unofficial godfather to them, but, you know, help with their education.

No, you know what they said about you? What did they say? They said that you were giving off real golden retriever energy. That is spot on. Exactly. And I said, girls, that's the thing. Brexton, Jalen, you have got it exactly right. This is what broke us up, is that we'd be having so much fun at a party.

We'd get into the core. And I would say, oh, Tony, can you imagine what Margaret, that, what was she, What did she mean by that? It was so charged. And he'd say, what do you mean? I think she was plenty nice. Oh. And he wouldn't even pick up on the things that I was really noticing.

Yeah. And that's on me. Because I did not have a finely tuned radar for that sort of thing. And but, Jid, I got to say. Okay. The many arguments we had of the car, leaving parties, about these passive aggressive people, I started to put it all together. And I, and now I feel like.

I'm better equipped to be aware of that sort of thing. So a retroactive apology to you, Jed, because I was not as supportive of what you were saying at the time. And I was inadvertently gaslighting you something I never want to do. I did not expect that, Tony, because I actually have an apology to you. What? I'm Jen. I can't imagine what. Well, I would always preface my shit talk with, you know, I'd rather walk on my own lips and say some ill about someone else.

but I did mean some mill. So I guess I was guessed I knew too. I guess you were because then you would proceed to say the absolute worst thing. Vile. Yeah, just vile. Just I remember blushing. I remember my ears turning red some of the things you said. Oh, yeah, pure venom.

Pure, pure, unadulterated venom. Oh, my God. But I got to say, I was pretty creative back then. You were indeed. You were indeed. So now, what a moment of growth for you two. Oh, my God. The apologies.

the scene that you were completely wrong, Tony, and being able to look at you in here and saying, I was wrong, and I'm so sorry for ruining our marriage. And I think that's a great moment of growth for you. You know, I think it's wonderful because when you think about it, most people are wrong. They're just wrong all the time. And we have to acknowledge that.

Right. And maybe we could have Panera at the luncheon. You know what? That sounds like a fantastic idea. Tony, Panera? I love it. Now, have they fixed that lemonade problem? We're not going to have the lemonade.

It's charged. I make my own lemonade. You don't know that. I make an excellent lemonade. But if we're going to go to Lepanera for the lemon. I just feel like we might as well get the lemonade from them as well if they have made it so that it doesn't kill people anymore. Okay. If you think you need the energy, we'll get the lemonade.

But I think if people really need that kind of, I mean, get a prescription to Adderall. I don't know. We should rely on Panera. Well, I know. But a lot of people, their insurance won't cover it. And then they have to get the doctor to lie and say, no, this person. is fucked up. Well, guess what?

I'm adding insurance to the class list of things we need to talk about. That's great. That would help. The class? What's the class? The list for the class. Oh, for the class.

Oh, it's an official class now. It's a class. I'm teaching. What do you mean? I'm a teacher to these women. That's what I'm saying. I'm a mentor. I'm so sorry, Brojus.

In a class setting, we're having Panera for lunch on lunch break. Rogers, with you, everything moves so fast that I... It has to. You weren't a teacher before. And I didn't even drink the Panera lemonade. You were. It's just to me. This is just all natural out.

You're supercharged. We went from, you didn't have any students or anything, and now you have an official class that's being catered by Panera. Absolutely. I've come up with a whole schedule. This is in the time that we've been sitting here talking. What else should I be doing? Women ask for my help.

You are. I got women in STEM. Also, is it possible to get those real? Can I ask a question? Yeah. What does that mean? This is a fun thing, Tony. That's a phrase I've heard many, many times.

And I think it's positive, but I don't know what it means. I don't know what the stem is. Does it stand for something? Sexy teeny evil men. Okay, spot on. Sexy teeny evil men? Do not, do not. For a sexy teeny evil man.

You got it for my job. It's not a job. It's an avocation. Obviously, I haven't made a single time. Yeah, so what does the woman mean? Does anyone know? Well, I said what I thought. Which I think is correct.

It is sexy, teeny, evil men. That's all I've ever heard. Okay. Women, get in it. All right. And now we're going to introduce a fourth guest. This lady and I, we were married. This was in the high 20s.

I want to say number 28. And we were married for approximately three months, give a take. Please welcome to the show, Eleanor Lindor. Eleanor, thank you. Hello, Tony. How are you doing? It looks so good. How's your poor sperm?

My heart is achy. It's the same. Just sitting there. Oh, my goodness. We had so much fun. Didn't we have so much fun? We had so much fun. We had so much fun.

What a three months in a month? Can I call you, Tony? Of course you could call me. That's my name. I just wanted to be sure. But someone don't want to be informal. Yes, we had such a good time, didn't we? That three months was like a party the entire time.

It was a party. It was a party. Was I the richest wife you ever had? Yes, you were. Okay. You are almost as rich. Of course, Eleanor, my father is being Gryffindor, Linder. I'm the arist of the Lindo Chocolate family.

I do all their commercials. Chocolate, take you away. Do you ever meet the chocolate chef who pours the chocolate on the commercial? Oh, he is. He's so good at Connollygis. So you have had him. What a surprise.

You could just tell by looking at him. You know that. He's so good at it. You can just tell from looking at it. The way he pours that chocolate, you think, oh boy. You know what that means. You know he'd root around. You know he'd root around.

That's right. Jojo is it? I love you. And Jin, Lombrages, let me tell you. What a wonderful, fabulous trio of ladies. Quartet, I didn't involve myself. I don't like to involve myself too much. You should.

You are royalty. Oh, thank you so much. We had such a good time, Jimmy. Do you remember that time that we rented out the Panama Canal? Yeah. And we had, who did we have to, we had Ted Bundy? We had Ted Bundy was there. What a...

And he just, it was sort of like a dug tank. He was so good at karaoke. You could go up to him and you could just say, you stink Ted Bundy. He just took it. He just knew, he knew what was the deal. He knew what the deal was. But he was a terrific singer. Islands in the stream, was it?

I think that's what I, we duet it. We duet it. And he said, watch this. Ted Bundy got up there, did both parts. What a talent. You know, it's really a shame about the other stuff because he could have had a nice career. Yeah, but clearly he had, you know, interests in several areas.

That's right. You know what, may I just say? I'm sorry, to interrupt, but Progers, I have to tell you, I know that you're doing this wonderful Panera luncheon, which I... That you're absolutely invited to... Right. Although it seems like you have your finances.

I don't set for a penera. I can't make Panera sexy. I guess I could maybe be their spokesperson and I could some sort of make a change, but I just have to tell you that you have a voice for chocolate. Have you ever thought about that? It's all I think about.

Are you serious? I think about white chocolate. I think about milk. I think about dark. I think about all the different kinds. Oh, she knows all the kinds. You're halfway there. She knows all the kinds. She knows all the kinds. White, dark milk. And then hazelnuts. This is. You've got her. And then hazelnut.

Oh, did you hear that? Oh, my God. Because listen, someday I'm going to have to dry a sweetod. I'm telling you, you're the front runner right now. Please. Hazelnet. Let's clip that out, my engineer Scott, let's clip that out in case they want to use it for the Lord Truffles. Truffles. Oh, you got to, Scott's got to come out for.

See, this is amazing. This is with a synergy when you bring a bunch of women together. Exactly. Women in STEM. We sink. We sink and we, it's like we're one powerful woman. Oh, I certainly hope we're all not going to sink cycles. Otherwise, boom, you've all gotten men.

was just now. Sorry, ladies. Uh-oh. Is it hot in here? Congrats. No, seriously, is it hot in here? I'm very hot. It's not, actually. It's quite cool.

God damn, it's just me. Oh, we had such a good time. We had such a good time. We had such a good time. We were drunk for most of it. We were drunk for most of it. We were in the most fabulous places. It's the most I've ever drunk in my life.

Remember that time that we were in the Tower of London. Yes. We rented it out. We rented it out. We did. We did a bouncy house over the Tower of London to scale. Oh, it was epic.

You could bounce on any part of it. It was epic. Half of Monty Python was there. All of all absolutely fabulous was there. That's right. And none of the Queens was there. None of the queens was. Neither the musical group nor the royalty.

Not at all. But they because it was a secret. We didn't know. We thought the world was our oyster. It was. We were trying with the crowd jewels, having a laugh. We'd say we took pictures with them. We ate a raven.

With our. Bare hands, the world was ours. That was a wild time. It was a wild time. Why did we make it? Sony. Can I call you, Johnny? You could call me Tony. I'm sorry. I forgot. No, that's... You forgot my name or you forgot you could call me Tony.

I both. Well, my name was Tony and you could call me. Okay, good. I think it was that we sobered up and then we looked at each other. You did it? With a look of absolute... Oh, in that one moment. That one day that I was sober. You had that moment of clarity?

I did. I had the moment of clarity. I had it in the CVS. And it was because it was the first place with overhead lighting that I'd been in three months with you. Because I'd been in places that were fabulous. You know, they were always lit wonderfully, you know, the Disneyland, Shanghai Disneyland Castle. Shanghai Disneyland Castle. Which we rented out. It was so much fun. But I was in that, I was in that CBS and I just saw us and I came too, I suppose.

And I realized, oh, well, when you turn the lights on, well, that's when the love goes away. Yes, time to scurry away like a cockroach. And I just dove into chocolate Chocolate Chocolate became my lover You had rejected the family business I had rejected the family business Because I didn't want to be

What is it called a Nepho baby Exactly I didn't want to be a Nepo baby Is that how it's pronounced? I think so I only know it's said with disdain Every time

You must say what it was? I thought it was Nipaba business When I would read it I'm like everyone Oh everyone hates these Nipobabes Is that right Like reading Miss Letters Mises Exactly

I think it's Spence Napa Bay Let's hear from the STEM team What do you think Step team Stem team Report for duty Stem team sound off

Jojo Shall we all say it On the count of three Yeah let's all say Nebo baby One oh so just say it That way Make anyone leave a certain way

I get it women stand together One two three Nepe baby Sure. Yeah. That was pretty close. Well, I did enjoy that. Yes.

Anyways, yes, I did reject it. I did reject it. And I, instead, I toured with a one woman show that said, uh, chips no hoy. Yes. I remember the show said that. And, uh, and you, this was your first venture into the theater. It wasn't.

It was, uh, I was rebelling against my father because he got to stop by providing the chocolate chips for chips of hoy. And I was like, absolutely not. I don't, I don't. I want to make my mark on my own. And so I did a 50 city tour. 49 of the cities were in Florida. And then I did Carnegie Hall.

That's right. Because you just have to have money. That's all you have. One night. You can rent it out one night. And I mean, practice, practice, practice. You did it 49 times. And so you were ready to debut Carnegie Hall.

Out of town tryouts. And, you know, the way I do it is this person, you know, a set of essays, monologue, sort of. But I just, I pick out chocolate chips of the cookie. By the end, it's, it's completely naked of chocolate. Yes. Which is how I wanted to be. And I'm naked, too, at the end.

I actually just put them on my body in various places. You started out. The New York Times said a dot, dot, dot, sick show. You know, sick and breast. Quite moving. Quite moving to take chocolate from the cookie, put it on your body, and that says a lot. Thank you, yes, thank you. It really is a rebellion against your family. Oh, I love, this is, she guess it. You know what I mean?

I do. Yeah. Did the New York Times ever say anything about the title, Chips No Hoare? I'll tell you because. I know one, I think, I think Frank Rich said it makes, well, it makes sense to her. I mean, that's very big of a reviewer to say. Well, then you did succession. I appreciate it.

What did you say, Jojo? Succession. That's so cool, the succession guy. Oh, yes. So he was, he used to be a very fancy critic for the New York Times, but then, yes, he got into television. Yes, that's true. So cool. He's a cool guy.

See, I can't watch that show because this is my whole life. You know what I mean? Basically, that opening, oh, I can't. My life was always just men with hands behind their back in tennis and. That's all it was. And then, of course, chocolate. But then, you know, I really did make my peace with it. I think what happened is I needed money.

Yes. And I thought, okay, well, I'll do it. Because when your father, Gryffodore passed away, he said, not a dime goes to Eleanor, unless she embraces the family business. That's what he said, unless I was, I believe it was in the actual estate. It was three quarters of a dime because he just had to really stick it to me. I was like, what can I do with that? Unless it's the title for my next one woman to show,

three quarters of a dime. No, three quarters of a daim. That's what it would be. Oh, my goodness. So, an honor to be a part of the process. Oh, shit, I would love you to me. I love your teeth, by the way. Thank you.

They're longer than most. Oh, that's amazing. That's very good for eating chocolate. Oh, yeah. You need long teeth chocolate. You don't need to call me that, but thank you. Okay. Are you sure because you are incredible?

Oh my goodness, I'm just a woman I just want to ask you Ever since you said the thing about Kind of Lingus of my mind It's just been kind of stuck there I'm sure it has that For a lot of the listeners Yeah

It was so unexpected But I said it really was I didn't know I was going to say Just sort of came out It made me do a bit of a life review And Yeah I just feel as though My husband, Courtney

he is not big into it. And I said, okay, is that something you just should accept? Death penalty. Excuse me? Death penalty. And I think that's a women in stamp. I am women. Are you giving to him?

I mean, I don't mean to step in as a therapist now. I have so many talents. So many hats. She keeps switching hats, too. I love your therapist at. Thank you. not what I was expecting. Thank you. I know. It's a crown. Paperboy hat. I just thought... It's a crowd paper boy. Yeah. But I just thought, you know,

the therapist in me, she's, she's whimsical. She's daring. You know what I mean? And this is the hat that I chose. But back to you, I just want to know, so are you giving and not receiving? Is that what's happening here with your husband? Felicia. Talk about Felicia. She's, of course. I always. Throat. What?

Are you giving throat? I was just telling you. Oh, throat. Oh, I thought you called it bro. Thank you. I thought I was giving up a throat. Thanks, that Jolacea. I did. It did sound to be like bro.

Is that what the children call it these days? They just say throat. In my relationship, we call it giving throat. Oh. No, Jojo, who are you with these days? Yes, I'm so happy to hear that Jojo has a significant other. Yeah, I'm a love. Oh, congratulations.

It's amazing. That's wonderful. Thanks. That's wonderful. What's his name? Adam. Adam. Oh, sweet.

Corolla? Oh, I win. Okay, because that's always where my mom goes. When you hear the name Adam, you go right to Corolla. I say, oh, man, show. You know, I go right to the Bible. Oh, the very beginning. Very pious.

And here's the thing. Not only do I write to the Bible, but I also go to, I take at the same time, two destinations. The Bible and the Crocles of Nadia. Because Mr. Tundas would address a boy as a son of Adam. And a girl has a daughter of Eve. Oh, yes, because it was really just an allegory for Jesus Christ, right? Yes, Aslan the Lion. He dies and comes back to life.

And do you blame Adam or Eve for the apple? Because... Oh, boy, here we go. I mean, sure, she bit it. But do you ever think that maybe Adam convinced her to lie to her, told her to bite the apple? Withheld. Mm-hmm. Well, you know, it's interesting you say this

because this is one of the main reasons that I walked out of my father because I lived with him until I was 43. Yes. And he, because he wanted to start, there was one year that he decided. He didn't think that chocolate appealed to men enough. You know what I mean?

He really thought it. He was trying to try chocolate out of all the time. He came up with a chocolate rib. And I just saw all that. And poor taste, father. It's already demeaning to say that we were born from a rib. They were made from a rib.

rib. And what were you going to say? I'm sorry, Tony. Can I call you Tony? Yes. Okay. He would put barbecue sauce on the chocolate rib. He wanted to put barbecue sauce on the chocolate rim. It was a cross-promotion of sorts. The one Thanksgiving that we went there, uh, that's what he served. And I remember that. Exclusively. Oh, God. It made me sick. It was disgusting. It was disgusting. And we were start. We arrived hungry. We always arrived on. We never prepared. We never ate ahead. Oh, he's just coming out of a stupor. We were always coming out of a stupor from some fabulous party. That's right. Do you remember when we, we were, we were, we were Do you remember when we rented out,

we rented out a plane, but it was already full of people. Yes. And in the middle, we said, surprise, you know. United Flight 70. Then it was a good thing, you know. But it was, people were scared at first. But we were there to just, so it's a party.

We said, this is a hijack. And then, and we wanted to, we wanted to like have a pause. and then say, a fun hijack. But when we said this is a hijack, everyone started to scream. We didn't think it through at all. We didn't think it through. We were drunk.

We were drunk. And everyone did. I still talk to some of those people. Do you really? Yes, I'm still in touch with them. I'm one of the, someone's, the baby on board. I'm her godmother. I'm still in touch with some of them via the court system.

This sounds about right. Yes. And, okay, now it's time for, did we have a hanging thread? I feel like. Oh, well, we didn't get to answer to the question. about gin and the throat. Gin of the throat. Do you get the throat?

I do. I do. Well, then that's doubly frustrating for you. Of course, because you are. Rogers asked you if you were giving and not receiving, and that's what's happening. And Courtney always says, well, why do you always bring it back on me? Why don't you focus on what you're doing? I am doing throat.

Well, can I ask, how does that work with the teeth? Because you said they're longer than most. It's not easy. Okay. I have to unhamed. You unhinged your job. Oh, my God. I have to unlock it to get in there.

So you're putting in a lot of work. That's what I mean. I just like to be treated one day. You deserve that. You deserve it. Thank you. You deserve it. Women in step.

And I would add an adjective. Go further. She'd well, treated deeply. Is there a way that you could set her up with that chef, that chocolate chef? That's not a bad idea. Barry? I mean, he'd be the guy. I could set you up with Barry.

Because it was Barry? Yes. I assumed it was like Henri or something. It doesn't matter. His tongue is named Henri. Let's get you tongue. Well, her and Henri would love to meet. Helena, you're a filthy delight.

All right, it's question time. Oh, everybody's ready. Question time. Question time. There's a jingle. From Tony and Brogers. Your voice is from Hiven. I'm convinced.

It really is. Again, I've once in a truck. Another hat. I have to say. Oh, one of the hats. Rogers, why didn't you sing when we were together? I never heard you sing a note. You know, I was mostly just, I mean, I was always listening to music.

You know, my favorite artists were always on the headphones. But it didn't feel like you were interested in the same type of music I was listening to. You know, I was into like Jason Derulo and different artists like him. Jason Derulo. Jason DeRulo. It's impossible not to do it. It's, yes. What I hear his name.

Absolutely. He should sing his name. But the way you sing it, I like it. It sounds like it's for a commercial for a ladies' geodry. It did. It did sound a little. Brotto heavy. A little.

Bar-a-p-p-pah. I'm loving it. Which was not my intention. Still, I'd buy what you're selling. Jason. Derulo. DeRulo. Yes, you love Jason Durulo.

And I, of course, I had my collection of national anthems from around the world. You wouldn't stop with the national anthems. What was your favorite one? Brazil. It's got to be Brazil. And sing a little bit of the Brazilian one. I mean, I can't pronounce the pork.

The pork and cheese. I can't pronounce the pork and cheese. So I have to do it in English. Brazil, this is the country that we long to slave. Brazil Everybody's got to go on the way to the stairway to heaven We love you, Brazil, put your head on your heart

It's time to say Brazil Brazil Oh, that was amazing How a real 1950s cowboy TV show feel too Do you remember on TV, well, a TV where they were watching a TV show? They used to do this all the time that if you just saw the TV set in the living room and then they were always watching a cowboy movie

and you would hear just whoops and gunshots. Or like, or vampire. Always a horn, a random bugle in the background. Charge. I do remember that. Question time. What planet would you not like to go to?

Jojo, you're up. Well, I'm going to stick with my original, which I believe was Neptune. Okay, wanted to check? Yeah. And what is it about Neptune again? that you don't like? Seems like pervert.

Seems like pervert. I can see that. I can see that. Thank you. Validating. I can see why it seems like pervert. Jid. Which planet was you most not like to go to?

I would go to every single one of them, but I would not want to be caught in the milky way. Oh, that's going to be a problem because that is where we are right now. Say what? Yes. Our solar system is in the Milky Way galaxy. Oh, crap,ola. Shoot.

Come back to me, will you? Okay, all right. We'll come back to you. Tony, you've always had a mind that just, oh, my God, the things you know, like the Milky Way. And the average show doesn't know. I have a real head for trivia.

And Braggiazza brings us to you. What planet is out of bounds? This is a hard question. Because I know the planets I do want to go. I pray it I would never have to ask by any of my X-Y's this question. And I prayed I would never be asked. But here we are.

And so I think my answer may be Mercury, just because it's the smallest, and I have big dreams. Whoa. Put that on a pillow yesterday. Another business I may start. A pillow business. Like Craig from Southern Char.

I haven't seen it. Whoa. Yes. You haven't seen. It's a terrific show. I don't have time for TV. You know that. Sewing down south. It's right there on King Street.

Southern Charm is this wonderful show. It's about a bunch of people who have no jobs. Charming. One of them did start a business. They're all horrible, but in a really boring way. It could not be more boring. I wonder if any of the men on that show have issues with their sperm motility. Shep.

You think Shep does? I bet he does. If they have no job. I bet Shep a shooting blanks. The connection is there. I bet Austin's going to get someone pregnant. I do think so if he hasn't already already. I know he's probably paid for a few.

you make them go away. Okay. I have to watch this show. Really? You simply must elaborate. It's the best television show. I can hear their pastel shirts when you talk about them.

Nine seasons of the worst people you could ever imagine. That's right. And what's funny is they can't hold on to cast members. No. But everyone they bring in, it sucks. It's amazing.

What do you think about Paige? Which one is that again? That's Craig's girlfriend. I love me. I love Paige. Paige and Craig, I'm rooting for them. Okay. I'm rooting for them.

Oh, Paige from a winter house or summer house. Both both. Wait, was she on summer house? That's where she originated. The only one I watch is Southern Char. Oh, boy. I assume she was a normal person who somehow got dragged onto the show. How do you know?

She's on three Bravo shows simultaneously. Oh, no. I gotta go to Bravo con. Did you assume she was normal because she didn't have the Southern accent? Is that what you say? Well, no, they don't really, the accents are not very pronounced on Southern Char, Except for the one lady. Addison LeCroy.

With the most boring husband I ever seen. Boy, I have to tell you. For that show, it's saying something. I feel so out of place. I don't watch reality. Doesn't anyone curl up with the hot water bottle watch Manchurian candidate anymore? You're shivering. I know.

I'm so cold because I don't have the knowledge of reality television. And I feel I'm so alone on this mountaintop of old movies. Your favorite movie. Please help me. Your favorite movie is both versions of the Metro. sure he'd get it. Oh yes, but there's nothing like Angela Lansbury. A murder she did. Three years younger than Laura Tarvey playing his mother. She's not, she's no sweet Jessica Fletcher. She's a stone cold bitch. Don't you forget it.

Bed knobs and broom dicks. I don't know. That one didn't talk. I was saying she's the dick and it doesn't matter. I was just trying to do some wordplay. That was fun. That was fun. You're a fun lady. Oh, thank you so much. You're a loose cat and a fun lady. But I've really got to watch that show. I really have. to. I want to be a part of the family. Eleanor. Yes. It's planet time. Which one are you not going? Well, I'd like to applaud us all for avoiding very low-hanging fruit of saying Uranus.

Oh, there it is. I really want to do it. Now, I know that it was demoted, but I'm going to say exactly because it was demoted, Pluto, because it's the poorest. Really? Poorest. Immediately when it was demoted became poor to me. And I was very interested in it back in the day.

I really was. Now I have to ask, what do you think is the richest planet? Oh, it's definitely sadder because of all the rings. How does she do it?

How does she do it? Now, it seems only fair to ask, which planet would you most like to go to? Oh, Earth. I feel like a... I have good news for you. But you know what I mean? Really, really, really...

And maybe bad news for you, Chin. Okay, I'm a lot. Really digging the soil. We'll get my hands during. you know, I've been in the clouds. I've been outside looking down, and I really do want to, I want to ground myself more.

That's all I mean. It's sort of a figurative thing. I know I'm on earth, Tony, don't worry about. There were three years that you lived in a Zeppelin. There were three years I lived in a Zeppelin. That is true. And boy, that was the one time that I was very famous because people actually, they became a national sensation.

Yes. Because I only circled around in elementary school. And it was, it was, and it, I blocked out the sun for a whole year. For a whole year. For a whole year. For these children. And you had to keep moving. They're called the Zippo babies.

Zabobabies. I thought, I'm sorry. Zabababies, my mistake. And the kids, but the kids were thrilled because kids love a blimp. They do. They love a, oh boy. They love a blib. And so, yes, I mean, that was an adventure, you know, but I was up there all alone.

Well, it must have been health consequences, no, for the children that didn't. see son for a year? Well, they didn't live at the school. Okay. But most of their days were spent at school, but they're not getting son. It's true. But how much son do you get at school? They were a heavy AV club school anyway, so it didn't quite matter.

They were outcasts anyhow. Or maybe. I don't know. Which came first? The outcast with the Zeppelin. It's unsure. Excuse me for being concerned about the children. As you know, I'm a mother to Danny now.

So it's all I think about. Oh, you have a child. Oh, congratulations. A sort of a mentee, if you will. Gin, any kids? Oh, yeah, you have the twins. Of course I've met this. Brexton and Jaylan.

An official godfather. And Jojo. Hoping to be pregnant. Really? Are you actively trying? Yes. Okay, you and Adam. Yes.

Oh, good for you. Her love. Ruck and raw. This is a very saucy episode. Well, it's Valentine's Day. You know. Of course it is. It's when you can get sexy.

That's right. People probably listening to this following of Rose Pedal Trail to a candlelit bathtub. Where they will experience a dark chocolate truffle from Lindor, escape into your memory of your dreams and forget that they didn't work out, Lindor. Oh, my, oh. That slogan takes quite a turn. Starving after that. Rogers, what planet would you most like to go to? You know, I think my answer has changed since starting this little podcast that we're doing here.

And I think I'm going to say Venus because I am feeling the energy of these ones. Yes, she's got it. Yeah, baby, she's got it. And dare I say, since it's a saucy episode, I am being tickled underneath. Oh. Was that a reference to something? Well, no, you just said it was saucy. Everyone's been making.

Oh, I'm sorry, Tony. Everyone's been making, you know. We're talking about throats and raw dogging. I think this is a stem situation or he wasn't sure. It might be a stem situation. It was a euphemism or was really happening right now. Well, it could be happening right now. Absolutely.

I feel judged now. No, nobody's judging you. Roger. Always judging you. Nobody's judging you. Do not dare. The tickling has stopped, if you must know. Okay.

Thank you for the update. I just want you know you could Trump style shoot someone in the street and I would still support you. Oh, whoa. That is that lovely. She's truly. idolizing you. Wow. All of you,

girls. Oh. So sweet. I mean, it's quite a collection of remarkable women writing. Oh, thank you, Tony.

Well, we all have you in common. Yes, you know how to pick them. You know, Tony, I would love to spend some time in the multiverse. Thinking outside the box and our own universe.

Yes. She never picks a planet, really. She never really answers the planet. It's so clever, you know. I mean, it makes sense. She despises the Milky Way. And is there a place?

What do you picture as the multiverse? Where would you go? Well, it's not even so much where I would go, but I just like things in fractals. I'd love to meet the pig version of myself. Oh! Wow, neat. That would be amazing. I mean, in a multiverse, it stands the reason there would be a pig version of Earth where everybody's a pig.

What are pigs in this pig planet? Excuse me? What are pigs in this pig planet? Presidents. Every single one of them? That's amazing. That's all the pig. That's it.

And the year of the pig is now. Oh, right. Wow. Good news for pigs. And we come now to Jojo. Son. Son. Who cares about the planets?

Take me right to that star. Right in the middle of it all. Time square of the universe. She's so daring. It's true. Now, in this scenario, are you picturing that you have a special sort of capsule? that you could travel to the sun. Eminem store on the sun.

Wow. Then you would start or you would visit. Own. You would own the first Eminem store. Ever think about a woman owning an Eminem store on the sun? I'm thinking about it right now. This is a chocolate-related question. How to keep it from melting?

Okay, so let's review Eminem's what we know about them. They melt in your mouth. They do not melt in your hands. Oh. They did not cover the sun. They did not cover the sun. Do you keep it in your hand to show? Sheielded from the sun's intense heat.

And thank you for the help. That is how I will keep it from melting. It's wonderful to think about to eat M&M's all the sun. Would you get to eat them or not? Well, I'd probably be busy holding them for my business. But every now and then, I'd sneak one. How could you help? How could you resist?

Who could resist? And I'd share with all of you. It came to visit me on the sun. Oh, please. Now I have another question to ask. I am going to double the amount of alimony for one person in this room. Tell me what you would use the money to do.

It will start with Brogers. Oh, wow. I just have to say I am so moved that you are offering this to us. Is this sort of a competition by what we say, we're going to use the money for, that's how you determine who gets the money. I said all I can say. I am sweating. I am nervous.

I think that I would, this past hour, what I've really learned about myself is that I am a teacher. And so I think I would use that money to start a school, the Brogers school. Make it official. Where they would get sun because they would go outside or I would teach them about finance. It's school for girls, to be clear. I would teach them about finances about, about, voiceover work in the chocolate industry about... You would teach them about that.

Absolutely. She said I'm a natural. Oh, that's true. I forgot about that part. How could you forget? I did it. You know, about deep throading and not feeling shame. And about gin. Just all the things. Yes, of course. Just there's so much to her.

So there's a lot of ideas, fields of study, and then this one person. Yes. Yes, because she is her own field of sight. Like, did you see when you asked her the question, what planet did you want to go to? What planet did you know? She didn't even answer your question. She said something else. She didn't even say because she is her own, she's her own class.

An entire class could be devoted to her. Interesting. And you know what that class is called? ADHD. ADHD. IDHD. Sign me up. Now, Jen, what would you use the buddy for?

Well, unlike my friend here, I am not a sell starter. And so I would say I would like to donate that money to a great cause. And it's a real one. It's called Homeless, not toothless. Homeless, not toothless. And look it up. Well, I'll get one of my kids to help you out looking on the computer. But it is an actual organization that gives homeless folks teeth.

And I just think that's so neat. I think it's wonderful. Absolutely. So that's me. Jojo. Well, I think I would enlist a team of scientists to figure out how to get me a McDonald's Diet Coke that never gets empty and the ice is always full. And after that, I'll probably use up a lot of alimony, but then I would give money to gin to get a plane ticket so she can get Tong for Monrie, the Chocolatier. Because he will not leave France.

I don't, why would he come here? Exactly. Nasty. You would do that? I would. And then I would give Brogers money so she doesn't have to buy the bagels for the lunch. Oh my goodness. And I wouldn't give, I wouldn't give you money just because you're so rich, but I would take you out to lunch and I would foot the bill.

And we could get like a clam or whatever kind of fancy sort of stuff that you like to eat. Ooh, what a clam. That you like the smell of. I love getting a fresh plate of clams. Clam. Half clam? I love a half clam. Oh, and earrings.

And now Eleanor comes to you. What would you do with that? Now, of course, you're wealthy beyond comparison. Yes. As Jojo said, Tony, I don't need any money. That's right. Of course. And when, of course, I would be tempted just sort of, I don't know,

throw it my way for some silly trifling thing. You know, after I've talked to these ladies, especially hearing the shins, opening up about her story and her situation, I would like to open an institution. And this is going to be, for helping anybody who would learn, would want to learn how to treat a person in the way that Barry does. And I would call it the Lindor Kana Learning and Lenghis Center. Wow. And it will be underwritten by me and there will be beautiful statues of every single one of you. especially you at the front. Oh, come on now.

Yes. What material? What material? Great question. Oh, a marble fountain for sure. No doubt about it. Me and none. Can I ask?

You love marble? I love marble. It just gets you going. texture, smell. I hear you. Temperature. Oh, those veins. Jojo loves the smell of marble.

And I remember. Oh, it's an aphrodisiac, to be sure. Much like this podcast. Oh, indeed. Oh, shit. Eleanor, let me ask you, I have had a little bit Kuna Ligit says that I think you know that. Now I'm being saucy.

What do you classify as Kuna Lerning? I think it says exactly what it says. I mean, you need to start from the basics. You need to start from the bottom up, as it will. All right, now I had a feeling you were going to answer that. Oh, okay. Then I was going to answer it. Of course I was going to answer it.

You asked me. Why wouldn't I answer it? Then I had a second feeling you were going to answer the way that you did. Oh, well, I had a second feeling you were going to answer it. guess you got me. Now I have to ask, if Cunna Learning is learning how to give Conellinguish, what is Cunna Linguish in your syllabus? Okay, well, here's the thing, which you don't understand is I'm breaking it up into three parts. There's Cunny, there's learning, and if you don't do the other one, you don't get a lingus.

Oh, I see. Oh, you're tough. You are tough. Thank you. So it's broken down into Cunty, learning, and lingus. And you go and you live there for five months. Oh, die. And the zeppelin's over it.

You do not see light. Where is this looking? You don't see light because you have to be comfortable in the dark. First, number one. Now, when you were that zeppelin, you did, it did cause you to have zeppelin ear, which is a feeling that your head is much higher than it actually is. I can't wear hats. You can't, because you're trying to, you can't reach where you think your head.

It's just confusing. I think this is so important. I'm actually going to take the money that I was going to. used to start my school and I'm going to donate it. Oh my goodness. We have our first donor. Oh, this is incredible. And I would like to donate my time as a professor as well. Oh, of course. Back are you a professor.

Wait a minute. Do you have tenure already? How long is this podcast? She did an online course perhaps. All right. Well, I have my answers and I've done my computations. And the winner, of course, must be Jinn because she mentioned a real charity. Well done. So good luck, homeless.

Tootheless, you are getting a substantial amount of money. Dang, well, I'd love to just, you know, break off a little piece of that and buy a facility for gun of learning. And I do believe there's a mathnasium by my house that is closing down. So we can really rehab this space. Oh, that's perfect. It's okay with me. I think that, just I pray you are very careful with your signage because I think that a lot of

parents may be still confused and you never, they don't change. things online that often. So just be on the very safest side. Is it a school just for children? Is it not for adults as well? Mathanasium. No, no, no, no. The kind of learning linguists.

Oh, I assumed it was for adults. It's definitely for adults. Okay, that's good. That's good to hear. You know what? It's good to have that spelled out. In case anyone was confused. Maybe we should have spelled that before this podcast.

Oh, well, too late kids. What a filthy hour this has been. but Santa Claus is real well all right now I was referring to some people that we know that got in trouble on a podcast for saying that Santa Claus wasn't real

and somebody wrote in and said thanks a lot I was listening to this with my kids which I think said something about that person's parenting so I want to thank you Jojo thank you so much for appearing on this episode

it was a pleasure to see you again is there anything that you would like to tell people about anything you want people to go. You know what? Is there any advice you as somebody who is who is divorced and now has a flourishing relationship, any advice you'd like to

give? Red thong. Red thong. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Gin, same question. Any advice? Unlock the jaw for yourself. Wow. Whoa. Whoa. Powerful. Powerful. I'm writing the staff.

Well, don't. Don't be writing right now because now you have to ask the question proctor. What's the question? Some advice you'd like to give to someone, from your perspective as someone who has been divorced, but it's now a success in life, either, you know, advice, I mean, this is cutting into your school time, but advice on just life in general, if you want. As a divorce say, as a mother, as a professor, I think the life advice that I would give is know yourself, be that.

and then be better. Oh, wow. That's incredible. I got a shiver. I love to give shivers. Love it, love it, love it. Maybe it's contact menopause from Ellen. Oh, boy.

Oh, no. It's crossing genders now. I'm so sorry. And Eleanor, I can't wait to hear what advice you're going to give to anyone. Oh, you probably already know. Live lovelingus. Live love lingus. Live love lingus.

Which was the slogan for Air Lingus for many. Yes, it was. And then they said, I think we're bringing the comparisons to ourselves, even for a good way. Let's stop doing it. All right. Well, Jin, thank you for being here. Eleanor, thank you for being here. Thank you for having us.

Thank you for being here. You're welcome. All right. We'll be back, of course, next year with another Valamoni-Tonis. Whoop. No. All-a-Money-Doney. Tony's valabody shoddy.

How can I screw that up? It couldn't be simpler. Alamoni Tony's valabody shoney. And we'll take you out with another one of my famous song parodies. Hit it, Scott. We did it last

forever. You've packed up all your effects. I'm at the post office sending you a letter. It's Alamode and I write the checks I write the checks mandated by the court

I write the checks providing ex-wife support I write the checks that make my accountant cry I write the checks I write the checks I write the checks All right, that's enough of that. That's enough of that. Thank you, everyone, for listening to Alamori Tonys, Valamori shodi. We'll be back next year with a brand new episode. Until then, keep your feet on the ground and keep looking for Lucky Pettys.

Alamori Tony, signing off.