Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Andy Daly, Tim Baltz (Nutz 4 Snutz)
Episode Date: February 27, 2025This is episode 2 in our "Nutz 4 Snutz" series, originally episode #576 called "What The Sound Made," released on December 2nd, 2018. Health teacher Joe Bongo is back again with his trusty bongos! Joe... joins Scott to talk about being involved in the most expensive car accident, how he incorporates his bongos during his Sex Ed classes, and his podcast pilot “Drivin’ and F**ckin’.” Plus, Randy Snutz returns to talk about his girlfriend bringing catastrophe into his life and to pitch his very own podcast. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb
Transcript
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Hey everybody, Scott Aukerman here, and welcome back to another Bonus Bang.
Of course, Bonus Bangs are where we revisit old episodes of Comedy Bang Bang.
And this is the second edition of our current series entitled Nuts for Snuts, and that is
featuring the character Randy Snuts, played of course by Tim Balz, whom you may know from
The Righteous Gemstones.
This week is episode number 576 titled What The Sound Made. This was originally released on December 2, 2018. And of course it has the titular Randy Snuts as well as Andy Daly playing Joe
Bongo. And in this episode, Joe Bongo shares how he incorporates
his bongos into sex ed classes. And Randy talks about the infamous Carissa. Now, don't
worry, we'll be hearing more about Carissa in later episodes of this series.
Now, if you like what you hear and you want to hear the entire CBB Archive, you can become
a subscriber at CBBWorld.com where you can find every single episode we've ever recorded as well as every live episode we've ever done.
We are going to have a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang out on Monday.
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Ah, yes, thanks to John Wilkes Soundbooth
for that catchphrase submission.
And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition
and what a show.
I know I tend to slip into hyperbole
when I talk about these shows as if,
I mean, look, I can't tell the future.
I don't know if it's gonna be a good show
whenever I say what a show, but with absolute certainty, I can tell you that today's show
is going to be a real, real corker because we have two returning guests, little later
we'll have a good friend of the show, he's gonna return to let us know what he's up to,
and before that we have another returning guest.
And this is exciting because you know that I am,
I'm a fan of educators.
And by the way, I'm Scott Aukerman.
I don't know if I'd said that, but that's me.
A fan of educators, Scott Aukerman, fan of educators.
I believe a young mind is something supple that needs to be shaped and molded and played with.
And I think that our country's educators and in fact the world's educators are doing a job that needs to be done.
And certainly you can tell it needs to be done and certainly, you can tell it needs to be done
because we pay them to do it.
So there's proof right there that it is a necessary job.
So we have one of those on the show today.
He's been on the Comedy Bang Bang program previously.
He's an educator.
He teaches health at Marina Del Rey High School.
And please welcome back to the show Joe Bongo.
Hi, it's great to be back.
And look, I brought the bongos too.
Yay.
I brought my bongos.
Yeah, I would expect nothing less from Joe Bongo.
Yeah, bring it wherever I go, you know,
because now people know me now, because I'm
doing all these podcasts and everything.
People find out I'm Joe Bongo.
They say, well, play the bong. We've got to hear some Bongos.
And if I don't have them with me, people get so mad.
So upset, I would imagine.
I mean, yeah, that's like...
I've been brutally beaten for not having my Bongos on me on a number of occasions.
And so now it's really just a fear-based situation.
I wondered, both of your legs are in, they look to be cast?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, those are preventive casts.
Oh, to keep?
Just to keep from being beaten.
You know what I mean?
It's like wrapping it in Kleenex and pillows and stuff.
It's like that, I guess.
But they're cast.
I mean, I went to the emergency room
and I asked to have cast put on my leg,
just as a preventive measure,
to not be hit with anything.
That's like, it's like if you were to see Kevin Bacon
and he didn't have fresh slices of bacon
cooking up on the grill, you'd be very upset.
You'd be furious!
Yeah.
That probably is a real problem for him.
If I saw Kevin Bacon and he wasn't serving up bacon,
I think I'd probably hit him in the legs.
Probably.
You know what I mean?
Are you primarily beaten below the waist?
Oh, always.
Well, because I say, not above the waist.
Not the moneymaker.
Not the moneymaker, because in my hands and my arms,
I need to play bongos.
Of course, of course.
And of course, you know, the facial expressions
and things like that are very much as deep.
That's part of the bongo experience.
Oh my god, look at these facial expressions.
He's doing them.
Oh, wow.
I mean, it's so much of it. You're telling a story when you're playing the bongo experience. Oh my God, look at these facial expressions! He's doing them! Oh wow. You got it, I mean, it's so much of it.
It's telling a story when you're playing the bongos.
True.
Do you also tell stories while you play the bongos?
Sometimes I tell stories to myself
while I'm playing the bongos.
In your head?
Yeah, right, uh-huh.
Yeah, like, say them out loud.
Sure.
Once there was a wizard,
and he lived in a forest,
and nobody liked him,
and he climbed to the top of a mountain
and destroyed the world.
Tale of the unpopular wizard.
Yeah.
Wow.
And it's, you know, I mean, people don't think about that.
If you knew a wizard, like a real wizard.
Wouldn't you want to befriend him if he could destroy you?
You might, but you...
You probably would invite him to parties,
and he would be like one of those people like,
well, we have to invite, you invite. That's what I'm saying it
would be disingenuous because I don't think you would like that guy. Probably not.
He walks around doing magic tricks and stuff like that. Why does he, yeah I mean you
don't like magicians just in general. Who likes magicians? I never met anybody
that liked a magician. No, never. No. So I mean imagine that for real you know why
what is he compensating for that he has to learn all these magic tricks? Exactly
and I don't need that but you feel, he could turn me into a frog or
whatever, you know what I mean? You don't want someone holding that over your head.
Of course not. Yeah, it's like the Me Too movement,
in a way. If someone has that kind of power over you.
Yeah, we've been talking a lot about consent in my health class. You know,
I teach sex ed at Marina Del Rey High School. I didn't know it was sex ed,
I thought it was just health. Well, know I teach sex ed at Marina Del Rey High School. I didn't know it was sex ed, I thought it was just health.
Well I have a sex ed unit, I have a drugs unit.
A unit? Wait, this is like Law and Order, the SVU?
What do you mean by that? It is a lot, well we do talk a lot about Law and Order in there.
And what?
Not the show, just...
No, the show, yeah. Yeah, because I love that show.
Listen to this, shunk shunk. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I love that show. Uh... Listen to this.
Shonk, shonk.
Hey, wow, that's wild.
Yeah.
I thought, where are we now?
Now where are we?
Oh, you know, I'm carrying something back and forth
out on the docks and letting you know that I found a body.
Isn't that funny?
If a cop came to talk to me at my workplace,
they would have my undivided attention.
We're doing John Mulaney bits at this point.
Are we? Is that right?
I believe we are.
Oh, that's too bad.
That's too bad, but it's what happens.
It's what happens when you consume no culture.
You know what I mean?
You just, a good chance that you're gonna repeat.
Anyways, what?
Yeah, so you do a sex ed unit.
And we do a drug ed unit.
Do you bring in people in this unit?
Co-teachers or when you say unit, what do you mean?
Do you mean like actual units of grades or?
No, during the year, my health curriculum, the curriculum is made up of units.
There's units in the curriculum.
There's a drug unit.
Okay, I see.
And I'm not allowed to do the driver-ed unit anymore.
Why? What happened?
Well, it's, you know.
No, I don't know. You said you know, but I actually don't know, which is why I asked.
I was involved in the most expensive car accident in the history of Marina Del Rey.
Wait a minute, expensive car accident?
Is this something like out of Smokey and the Bandit movie or something?
It's absurd. It's absurd. I don't know how you even tabulate that or whatever,
but anyway, I destroyed a great many things
in and around Marina Del Rey.
That's an expensive area for one.
Well, well, you know, yeah.
Yes, the historic lighthouse.
Oh no.
Yeah, I hit that and it went into the Marina.
Toppled into the Marina?
Toppled into the Marina.
Oh, that's bad luck.
And I said, well, I said, big deal,
you know, just fish it out of there.
And they, well, that's a whole thing, you know, so they're going to rebuild it.
But whatever.
So they're not fishing it out.
They're going to leave it on the bottom of the water.
They said it's easy to leave it there.
I don't know.
Isn't it weird that they call it fishing it out when there's fish in the ocean?
Huh?
I don't get it.
What do you mean?
Like if you were to fish something out, it almost implies that you're
commanding the fish to push it up out of the ocean.
Well, that's not a bad idea.
I mean, I'll pitch it at the next town council meeting.
I'm there all the time anyway these days.
I'm constantly going to the town council meetings,
just because people have questions for me.
But-
So you were involved in some sort of Hal Needham-esque
car accident. I don't know who that is.
Okay, yeah, he was the stunt coordinator
for a lot of the Smoky and the Bandit films.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So, you're involved in an accident,
the type of which he would choreograph.
I guess so, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, a lot of things were destroyed.
Apparently I did $18 million worth of damage
to the dog run at the Chase Burton Park.
How can you do that much damage?
Great question.
Were you traveling with some sort of priceless artifacts?
No, the issue was, well, I was asleep.
I was sound asleep for the entire,
so I can't even tell you what happened.
This is why the accident occurred,
because you fell asleep.
Because I fell asleep.
And I don't have, also, by the way,
I've never had a driver's license,
so it turned into a whole thing.
And so I have now, I'm not allowed to teach driver ed unit anymore.
Are you still in charge of the parking lot?
Parking lot security, yes, I do parking lot security.
I bring it to a high school.
So you have to, if there's ever an altercation, you have to outrun a car?
What do you mean, an altercation?
With someone, you know, involved in a car.
Oh, you're saying two cars are vying over the same parking lot or something like that?
Or someone is stealing a car.
Your parking lot security, it's a foot race.
Yeah, I am a parking lot security man who cannot drive,
does not drive.
That is the case.
That's how it is.
And I tried to skateboard for a little while.
Terrible, because I can't do it with the cast on my legs.
Oh, yes.
Because these are thigh high casts.
Hard to ollie.
Those are, yeah, they are thigh-highs, I noticed.
Yeah, so you can't, just can't do it.
So anyway, and it's very hard to get around in general, but I do still do pyrolysis care.
And anyway, but what I'm really excited about.
Sex Ed.
Sex Ed.
Yeah, we do the Sex Ed unit.
Sexual education.
Sexual education, we talk about all aspects of sex.
I say, hey, there's nothing, nothing's off limits.
You know, whatever questions you have.
That's not what you're teaching, that nothing's off limits.
Nothing's off limits when it comes to sex.
Absolutely.
No, you don't teach.
No, no, no, no, no.
What that means, nothing's off limits,
is in the classroom you can ask anything.
Not that when you actually go out there and engage in sex,
nothing is off limits. That's not true, actually.
That's not true.
Now I have some limits as to the questions that can be asked. No, but you're saying that these kids can do anything. But sexually speaking. Nothing is off limits. That's not true. Now I have some limits as to the questions that can be asked.
No, but you're saying that these kids can do anything.
But sexually speaking, nothing is off limits.
No, no.
Nothing is off limits.
Oh dear.
If you can dream it, please do it.
That's not good advice.
Is what I say, yeah.
And we've been talking a lot about consent and the whole Me Too business and all that
stuff. And what are you teaching them?
I'm hesitant to ask.
I've just been saying,
don't let anybody hold you back.
Oh dear.
Because you only live once.
It's that kind of thing.
So.
I'm very much a Carpe Diem teacher.
I'm very much a, what was that,
a Poet Society guy.
I tell them, a lot of the time
I have my students stand on the desk and call me captain.
And it's very inspiring.
Why are you having people stand on the desks, by the way?
Do you have mirrors on the floor?
Not anymore, I don't do that anymore.
You're going back to the 80s.
I don't do that anymore.
Okay, all right.
Forget it.
Now it's cameras.
Yeah, oh dear.
Were you filming this car chase, by the way?
Maybe you could sell this to Michael Bay or something.
I did have a dashboard cam, but it's at the bottom of the Marina.
The car is gone.
The car is gone. But anyways...
Was it an expensive car? Is that also what added to the tally?
No, not at all. No. My car was the least of the expenses.
Oh, yeah. It was, yeah, a chunky old thing. You know, anyways, so now somebody else teaches driver.
But what I'm very excited about, you know, I have my own podcast and I made a pilot. I made a
podcast pilot.
I heard something about this. Yeah.
And it's, you can hear it on Stitcher or whatever. And it's there and I'm, you know,
and from what I understand, you're the guy that's going to decide whether it gets to become a regular podcast. Well, and I'm, you know, and from what I understand, you're the guy that's gonna decide
whether it gets to become a regular podcast.
Well, I'm hoping, you know...
I wanted to have you on this show so I could tell you no.
Ha ha ha! You gotta be kidding. That's not true.
Can't be no. The answer can't be no.
Well, I wanted to do it in person.
What are you talking about?
I'm not a coward.
What?
No, I wanted to do it face to face.
I don't believe it. Are you seriously telling me no?
I'm telling you no, yeah.
Really? Yeah, I'm sorry. Why not? I'm telling you no. Yeah. Really?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Why not?
I'm shocked.
I'm shocked.
What was the premise of your show again?
The show is called driving and fucking
with Joe Bongo and Margo Chunk.
And we take questions from people
about fucking questions and driving questions.
Yeah.
And Margo's a new driving DJ.
I did not enjoy this.
What do you mean?
We did a great job.
I said it was Dr. Ruth meets, uh, Car Talk.
Car Talk, yeah, no, I know.
But they had a terrible meeting, as far as I'm concerned.
Dr. Ruth and Car Talk?
Yeah, they should never have hung out.
You know, the three of them hooked up. That's true.
What? That's insane.
It was the two brothers.
And they did a train on Dr. Ruth?
On Dr. Ruth. That is true. That's a foul.
Oh my god. Just high-fiving over the back?
From what I understand.
From the precious few details that are out there.
From what I understand.
That is one of the few that leaked out.
I am told there is a tape.
I don't know.
Oh, wow.
I don't know.
But anyway, I know for a fact that it happened.
Incredible.
So, by the way, for people who have not heard you
on the show before, Joe Bongo is a stage name.
Well, yeah, my name is Joe Dunleavy is my real name,
but all my students call me Joe Bongo
because I always bring my bongos in the classroom.
And I teach with the bongos and I play it.
And I go into a bongo zone for sometimes,
if it's a 45 minute period, 20 to 40 minutes of it
could be me in a Mongo zone.
It's a lot like watching a Doors concert,
where they'll start a song and who knows when it's gonna end.
Who knows what's gonna happen,
or whether Jim Morrison is even gonna show up.
And a lot of the time, I do not show up for my own classes.
Right. That doesn't surprise me.
Yeah, you know, because I don't have any reliable way of waking up.
Yeah, we talked about this before, right?
What's up with your clocks and your... any reliable way of waking up. Yeah, we talked about this before, right? Yeah.
What's up with your clocks and your...
I have no internal body clock.
That was one of the first things to go.
Do you have an operation?
No, it's just I, look, I consider myself a drug survivor.
A lot of people consider me a drug casualty.
A lot of people consider you a drug user currently.
You a current drug user. I hear that a drug casualty. A lot of people consider you a drug user currently. You a current drug user.
I hear that a lot from people.
And I think it's not fair, because I'm not
doing the hard stuff at this point.
No, just what are you up to?
It's mostly just acid, which is nothing.
It's not even a drug.
It's not even a drug.
So that got rid of your internal body clock at some point.
My internal body clock was one of the first things to go.
Yes. As well as just any kind of a concept of time at all.
Right, so you may currently be in a bongo zone.
Eeeh, I don't know. I mean, yes.
Even though you're not playing the bongos.
Uh, I mean, I never thought about that.
Are you playing the bongos?
I don't think I am now.
I don't think you are either.
Okay, good.
But if I bongo so.
Are we both high right now?
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
I don't think I'm high.
You know, the brain is quad.
There's four quadrants of the brain.
Sure, anything has four quadrants
if you break it up into four parts.
That's interesting.
Could you break like a hostess cupcake into four quadrants? Sure, anything.
That's not a bad idea because I don't want a whole one of those.
This is simple fractions.
Do you teach fractions by the way?
No, only as regards to sexual partners.
Okay, but are these four quadrants labeled different things in the brain?
What I'm trying to tell you is a doctor told me that two of my quadrants are gone.
Just gone?
They're gone.
Really?
So what do you have floating in there?
Permanently broken.
I have two functioning brain quadrants at this time.
And the other two are missing?
The word he used was broken.
OK, so they're in there.
They're just not working.
I guess.
Yeah, I think they're.
Oh, yeah, nothing's been taken out of my head.
They're sloshing around in there. They're in there, yeah. Yeah, they haven't dissolved. They're not functioning, they're just not working. I guess, yeah, I think they're, oh yeah, nothing's been taken out of my head. They're sloshing around in there.
They're in there, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they haven't dissolved.
They're not functioning as designed.
Yeah.
But, and so, of the two remaining quadrants,
it's possible at any given time
that one of them, or both of them, might be high.
Right, okay.
That's my only, that's all I can say.
Well, good luck with that.
So how do you incorporate the bongos
into your sex education?
Well, I talk a lot about how music can help people
get in the mood and how we help people get sort of
in touch with their bodies.
Bongo music can?
Bodies, oh brother, listen, I go out on the weekends,
I go out to the beach, out to the pier,
and I play my bongos, and you can just see the effect
that it has on people. Which pier is this?
I often go out to Huntington Beach.
Okay, I mean, it's a little, it's close to Marina Del Rey. Yeah. Close-ish, yeah. Right. Okay, so you go out to Huntington Beach. Okay, I mean, it's close to Marina Del Rey.
Yeah.
Close-ish, yeah.
Right.
Okay, so you've got...
No, I'm fairly persona non grata in Marina Del Rey at this time.
I got to, just this whole thing has to blow over.
Yeah.
I took out too much stuff that people like.
Also the lighthouse being gone, are ships crashing constantly into the marina?
It's extremely dangerous at night and during foggy conditions.
Those are prime lighthouse times.
What they got now is they got a guy out there on a ladder with a flashlight and it's just
a community volunteer situation and it's not effective.
Oh, okay.
How often are they able to get a guy with a ladder if it's a volunteer situation?
These are seniors, you know what I mean? They've got a little phone tree going for when it's going to get a guy with the ladder if it's a volunteer situation. These are seniors, you know what I mean? Yeah.
And they've got a little phone tree going
for when it's going to get dark, you know, and foggy.
Usually at sundown.
Well, they're not that organized.
I mean, at this point, it gets dark,
and they start scrambling.
Like, you know what I mean?
Oh, it's go time.
It's a problem.
Let's put something together.
It's a problem.
But you're right.
It is predictable, the darkness.
But it's a-
That, by the way, could be your autobiography.
It is predictable, the darkness, by Joe Bongo.
Yeah.
Or your next pilot.
I don't have to make it.
Are you really not picking up your eye?
I'm not picking it, I'm not picking it.
I'm surprised.
Let's talk about the bongo.
So pretend I'm your class.
Okay, sure.
And I'm interested in learning how to have sex
and what it feels like.
And take me through how you incorporate the bongos.
I would say, look, you gotta, sex is all about the hips.
You gotta get those hips moving.
And nothing is gonna get the hips moving better than a little something like that.
Let's see those hips.
And I get everybody up.
Everybody up on their feet.
And we clear the desks away. You want me to stand up? Yeah, stand up, stand up. Let's see those hips. And I get everybody up, everybody up on their feet,
and we clear the desks away.
Oh, you want me to stand up?
OK.
Yeah, stand up, stand up.
All right.
Get those hips into it.
OK.
That's pretty good.
I'm trying.
Yeah, a little more.
Yeah.
OK.
Is this enough?
No, that's not enough.
It's not enough.
No, it's not going to please a woman.
You got to really get those hips into it.
I want to see some hips.
I guess this is a lot like having sex.
Yes, yes. See that? That's what I wanna see some. I guess this is a lot like having sex. Yes, yes.
See that?
That's what I tell ya.
Yeah.
And then you get you and a partner
both getting your hips into it like that.
Next thing you know, we're into the pregnancy unit.
Oh, there's an entire pregnancy unit.
We talk all about pregnancy and how and whether
you can have sex with a pregnant woman.
That's mostly what the pregnancy unit is.
And let me guess, nothing's off limits.
Nothing's off limits!
Do whatever you want.
You know, I write that on the chalkboard.
First day I write, Joe Bongo, do whatever you want.
And...
Is that instruction for you or for the students?
It's both and routinely, every year,
as soon as I'm done writing,
do whatever you want, about a third of the class
gets up and leaves.
And the other two thirds are looking around like,
was that OK?
Should I follow?
Right.
And they're asking themselves, what do I want?
And then we spend the rest of the year exploring
that question.
Wow.
The other ones knew what they wanted to go.
And that's fine.
That's fine.
Yeah.
Well, this.
And they get an A. The ones who stayed or the ones who left? The ones who left get an A because they know what they want and that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Well this- And they get an A.
The ones who stayed or the ones who left?
The ones who left get an A because they know what they want and they do it.
And they- yeah, immediately.
And I appreciate that. That's an A.
What do the ones who stay get?
I- it depends, you know.
Then it's a whole process of figuring that out, you know.
Mm-hmm.
But a lot of the time-
Yeah, you're talking about grading students.
Huh?
You're talking about grading students.
A process of figuring out what grades they get? Yes.
Yes, exactly.
But if you left on day one,
then there's nothing to figure out, that's an A.
So that's a good little tip for any students
coming into your class, if they're listening to this.
Well, if you want to go, you should go.
What if you don't wanna go and you go?
Are you able to ascertain that?
If somebody is going against their will to go,
it's hard to imagine.
Like someone forces another student to stand and pushes
them out of the room.
What do you grade that student on?
Oh, the one that got pushed out of the room?
Because they don't want to go, but they went.
Yeah, that person, I would have to flunk them.
I've never had it happen.
But if it happened, that person would get it in.
I mean, it's a hypothetical, but.
It's a good one, though. It's a good one. And also, we's had it happen, but if it happened, that person would get it in. Look, I mean, it's a hypothetical, but. It's a good one, though, it's a good one.
And also, we talked about this before,
but you know, I'm in a band.
Oh, right, what's the band called again?
Rose Bushred, and I'm the bongo.
Rose Bushred.
Rose Bushred, and everybody else in the band is a student.
Or was a student.
Well, no, they're current students
at Miranda Rand High School.
Oh, that's right, and you keep flunking them
in order to keep them in the band.
Yes, if I have to.
If this person is irreplaceable to the band
and they're graduating, because I'll tell you,
I'll tell you right now, a lot of these guys say,
I'm gonna graduate, but I'm still gonna be in the band.
And I've learned by now that that's bullshit.
That's bullshit, yeah.
They're gone, I don't have control over them anymore.
So I often have to flunk them out of health
just to keep them back.
You're using your position of power
in order to make them do things that they don't want
to do.
I don't think of it that way, but I'm using my position of power to keep them in my band.
Okay.
So who's in the band currently?
Right now it's an incredible lineup of everybody in the band right now is the son of a famous
prog rock musician.
That's incredible.
It is incredible.
So these prog rock musicians all moved to Marina Del Rey,
school district, and their sons are offspring,
sons or daughters, are serving in your band.
Who do we have?
We got Ezra Palmer, who's father-
From Emerson Lakin Palmer?
Emerson Lakin Palmer.
Oh my goodness.
Gary Lee, who is the son of Geddy Lee.
Oh, from Rush. From Rush.
Canadian, so he moved down to the States?
Yeah, a lot of these guys, most of them are not in touch with their fathers, by the way.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Rock music, enough said.
Yeah, exactly.
It's an itinerant lifestyle.
Yeah.
And there's another guy named Phil Collins Jr., but I don't remember who his father was.
Okay, well, from Genesis.
Who his father was. Phil Collins. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Wait,'t remember who his father is. Okay, well, from Genesis.
Who his father was.
Phil Collins.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Wait, so this is Lily Collins' brother?
Oh, I don't know.
His name is Phil Collins Jr.
I think his father was Peter Gabriel.
That would be, I mean, I can see that.
Because I think, didn't it work that they-
Sort of like a fuck you to Phil Collins, like, I got there first?
Didn't, I forget how it worked. like a fuck you to Phil Collins like I got there first.
I forget how it works.
Phil Collins. That would be the ultimate thing to do to a friend of yours.
What's that?
To name your kid, like say who's your best friend?
I, you I think.
Okay, well.
But if I were to like have a kid and name him Jason Manzoukas Jr. and say, ah, I got there first.
That'd be great.
That's a fun thing to do.
Yeah, but I think what happened with that band,
I think Peter Gabriel became Phil Collins.
Okay, so these three are in the band?
Yeah.
You have Phil, you have Ezra, and you have who Lee?
What was the...
Oh, Gary Lee.
Gary Lee, okay.
That's Getty Lee's kid.
Right, and does Gary Lee play bass like Getty does?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Okay.
And they're great, and they were an existing band,
and they had a really good drummer,
and I had to get him out of school.
I had him expelled.
Wait, who was that drummer?
That guy is Dean Buford, Bill Buford's kid.
I don't know Bill Buford.
Bill Buford from Yes?
Oh, okay. I'm not as familiar with all of the various permutations of Yes as
perhaps you are.
You're not as familiar with Anderson Buford, Wakeman and how?
I mean I pretty much much know the 80s years
where they had Trevor Horn in there.
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, he's died out.
The commercial years.
Oh, forget it.
Brrrr.
Owner of a lonely heart.
It's a good song, though.
Yeah, can you play it on the drums?
Why did you?
Owner of a lonely heart.
Much better than a...
Stuff like that.
Yeah.
It was very odd that you went brrrr with your mouth
and you have the drums right in
front of you.
Well, you gotta work it out in your mouth first.
Okay.
Is that something you teach the sex education unit?
That's what I say.
I say, guys, work it out in your mouth first.
You gotta lick it before you kick it.
Because if you kick it and then you lick it, who's interested then?
Lick it before you kick it.
I never heard that.
I like that a lot.
I think that's good. You can use that. I like that a lot. I think that's good.
You can use that.
Yeah, I'm gonna use that.
That's good.
Well, that's gonna, you know what?
That's gonna be the whole month of April.
How many classes are you gonna show up for
in the month of April usually?
There's no way of ever knowing, but it is nice.
The weather is nice.
The weather is really nice.
That's prime surf and skating time.
Yeah, it's hard to, you know, it's hard to bake it to class.
Well, Joe, it's a pleasure to you know, it's hard to make it to class.
Well, Joe, it's a pleasure to have you.
It's great to be here.
We need to take a break.
OK.
If that's all right.
Can you stick around?
We have another returning guest whom
I don't believe you've ever met.
I don't know.
I don't know if I'll be here or not.
I mean, you're just sitting in your seat.
You haven't left.
I don't have any plans to proactively do anything.
Well, I mean, you don't want to leave because you haven't gotten up and left.
Right. Is this a do whatever you want situation?
It is. Well, then here we go.
OK, we need to take a break.
When we come back, we'll have more Joe Bongo and oh, our good friend
Randy Snuts is going to be here.
We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.
Comedy Bang Bang we're back here Joe Bongo has been playing the bongos this entire break and neighbors have been complaining and he's in a
bongo zone he's really he is really in it. What's happening? What's going on?
You've been playing the bongos for the last 10 minutes.
Oh, 10 minutes?
10 minutes, that's all it's been, yeah.
Wow, okay. How was it? Really good, right?
10 minutes of bongos is like 80 minutes of any other instrument.
Thank you. Yes, that's interesting.
Mm-hmm. Is it?
You pack a lot in.
You do. We have to get to our next guest.
Hot dog!
No, it's not hot dog.
Have you ever met him?
Who?
Hot dog?
No.
He's a really interesting guy.
What does he do?
He water skis on salamis, I think.
I'd like to beat him.
You'd like to beat him?
I'd like to beat him.
I'd like to meet him and beat him.
In a water skiing competition?
I'd love to beat him in a water skiing competition.
Have you ever water skied?
It would be hard with those thigh-eyes.
No, but I'd probably be fine. I'd probably be very good at it.
You probably could ski on those thigh-high casts.
I think it would not be... Yeah, I think it would be easy.
Yeah, okay. Well, uh...
I was told not to get him wet, but who gives a shit?
They're just protective anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay. Well, let's get to our next... Maybe you'll meet Hot Dog at some point.
Okay.
I think that would be fun.
Sure.
We do need to get to our next guest. He has been on the show before.
I don't recall his particular details
of what he does for a living, but we'll talk about that.
Please welcome back Randy Snutz.
Hello.
What's going on, Scott?
And like, you're right to not like keep up with my job
because yet again, I've been fired
and fired at another job.
Oh, what were you doing?
By the way, talk right into that.
Is this better?
Yeah, that's a little better.
All right.
I had like positioned the microphone so that I could see your face and now it's directly in front of your that. Oh, am I? Is this better? Yeah, that's a little better. All right. I had like positioned the microphone
so that I could see your face, and now it's
directly in front of your face.
Oh, that's OK.
So if you do any funny reactions,
I'm not even going to be able to see what you're doing.
Well, I mean, you want to be able to see Joe Bongo's face
because I mean that's-
When I'm playing the bongo, you really gotta see my face.
Yeah, exactly.
Dude, to be a fly on the wall while in the bongo zone?
You, I mean-
Right?
Yeah, you don't have to be a fly on the wall,
you can just be yourself.
Yeah, but I was-
You watching? It was like, I was like Jeff Goldblum. a fly on the wall. You can just be yourself. Yeah, but I was just you watching.
It was like, I was like Jeff Goldblum.
I was on the wall as a fly.
Brundle fly.
Yeah, Brundle fly.
You love that movie, dude.
I love it.
I want to see that movie at your house.
No, thanks.
But what, what job did you get fired from?
Very cool.
Remember I was working at the AMPM.
Oh, that's right.
The anti-meridium and the post-meridium.
Yeah, that's right.
The one that sells a gas.
Right, yeah.
And then has a convenience store inside.
And I mainly kept that thing stocked.
That's right.
But then I got busted because I stole
another 18 pack of HiLife.
Oh, that's right.
This time I said yoink too loud.
That's right, that was the tip off
that people would know that you stole something
when you said yoink under your breath to yourself.
Yeah, exactly.
But I got cocky and I said it too loud.
Yeah.
While making eye contact with my boss.
Who's your boss again?
Just a fucking guy.
I forget his name.
OK, so yeah, you're already, it's
in the rear view at this point.
But then, like, I got hooked up with a friend of a family,
this guy, Brian Delahoyd, who's one of my good friends.
And his dad, Dan Delahoyd, runs a window washing business. Oh, okay. Windows of buildings or of cars?
Yeah, buildings, cars.
Like, if someone lives in their car
and they need their windows washed, yeah.
If it's glass, you'll do it.
That's true, dude.
You're gonna get me one of those guys
going up the side of a building on a,
I don't know, like a wooden thing
and going up the side of a building?
Jesus, I mean, I'd pass out.
I had, like...
Sounds scary, right?
Dan Delahoyd has not entrusted me with that yet.
Okay, so you're first floor only?
First floor only, just like retail shops
and you know, cars and whatnot.
Right, yeah.
Yeah.
So if it were a 18 wheeler,
that's a little too high for you.
Oh dude, yeah.
I mean, I could get up there.
Someone gave me a step ladder.
Right, maybe one of these old people down
at the Marina Del Pier.
The Marina Del Pier, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They've got a ladder.
They would have to be during the day.
Yeah, yeah, I'd climb up on that.
These seniors gotta bring their own ladder, by the way.
And it's not pretty- It's a BYOL situation.
BYOL, and it's not fun watching these old guys trying to carry their ladder from the
parking lot.
Why don't they just keep a ladder there where the lighthouse used to be?
They could say somebody would steal it.
Keep a ladder there where the lighthouse used to be.
Beautiful, that's beautiful.
Was that from Peach Dragons? Play some Boccos. Yeah. You can't steal it. Keep the ladder there where the lighthouse used to be. Beautiful, that's beautiful.
Was that from Peach Dragons?
Play some Bocca's.
Yeah.
But keep the ladder there where the lighthouse used to be.
This is not bad.
I might be in your band soon.
I'm not the offspring of any famous musician though.
Oh yeah, you're not gonna work in the current line up.
I'm sorry.
Do you have to still be in high school
to be in your band?
It works the best way because then you have
a little more control over their schedule.
You can give them a hall pass and whatnot to come and rehearse.
That's too bad. I barely graduated high school, so I'm probably out.
You did graduate though.
I did, yeah.
By the skin of your teeth?
Dude, yeah, absolutely.
How old of a man are you?
I'm 26 right now.
Right now, yeah, sure. We all get older as the days go by.
That's a good point. You're not gonna be 26 forever.
That's true.
We'd love to be 25 again.
Unless you die at 26, then you'll be 26 forever.
Oh!
I always wonder when they say, like,
Happy birthday to Shakespeare!
First of all, how happy is it gonna be? He's dead.
Yeah, he's not having a happy birthday.
He's probably had happier birthdays when he was alive.
But it doesn't work, it also doesn't work like that.
Like, people don't get to be 200 years old or whatever.
Like happy birthday to my dad who died 20 years ago.
He would have been 153 today.
Yeah, I know he wouldn't have been.
And fucking miserable.
Those details are maybe a little off.
God, I wish my dad were still alive.
I'm like miserable right now.
Just like a rotting corpse in front of me.
Right.
So you could be 26 forever.
Yeah, if you die this year.
Good luck.
Yeah, I've been looking forward to it.
Definitely my girlfriend is wishing my death every single day.
Why?
Who is your girlfriend again?
Remember Carissa?
Yeah.
She of the scandalous behavior.
She was scandalous.
I do recall that.
What do you mean?
What does she do?
She's just always bringing catastrophe to my life.
Oh, really? Sowing seeds of like bringing like catastrophe to my life.
Oh really?
Sowing seeds of discord in my personal and professional business.
So yeah, what are some of the shenanigans she got up to?
She stole my phone and texted all my friends, fuck you.
Oh no. That's too bad.
Yeah and then they all texted back, ha ha ha, good one Randy.
And then she texted back, I'm not kidding. And that was scandalous.
That second text was scandalous.
Cause then my boys were like,
aw dude, Randy wasn't joking around.
Wow.
Yeah, so.
Is that the kind of joke you would normally do?
Hell yeah, text someone, fuck you.
That is very, very funny.
I get my jollies.
Yeah.
I get my jollies however I can.
Yeah, that's it.
One has to.
Get your jollies however you can.
In this economy? Yeah, that's it. One has to. Get your jollies however you can. In this economy?
Yeah, no kidding.
So has she been out there on the town doing anything
with other dudes or anything?
What was your problems with her before?
I mean, aside from just general scandalous behavior, yeah.
She talks to a lot of people.
She likes to string guys along to rile me up and get me all
psycho.
Right, yeah. So she likes to flirt with other guys in front of you in order to test your love.
Yeah, like-
And if you don't fight for her, then you don't care enough.
Yeah, like her dream scenario would be like cuckolding me, but I will not have it.
And describe cuckolding for-
Where she like hooks up with a dude in front of me and then like ostensibly I enjoy it.
Why ostensibly?
Is that part of the cuckolding experience?
Yeah, I think the dude has to like enjoy his humiliation.
Okay.
Would you be pissed off if she like hooked up
with another guy and they had a kid
and she named that kid whatever your name is, Junior?
Randy Snuts Jr.
Honestly, I'd try to adopt that child to stick it to them.
Oh yeah, that's-
You'd have a pretty good claim on that adoption in court. Oh yeah, I mean, of course this is my child.
Look at the name.
Look at the name right there.
Yeah.
Case closed.
Dismissed.
Case dismissed.
Objection.
Sorry, but we said dismissed.
Abyous corpus.
You gotta get it in there beforehand.
I've been sustained.
That's not a bad title for your autobiography.
I've been sustained.
Yeah, by Randy Snutz.
Yeah, by Randy Snutz. Yeah, by Randy Snuts.
And the cops.
Yep.
So have you been in trouble with the law recently?
Yeah, dude, I kicked out my tail lights in a fit of rage
so the cops keep pulling me over.
No.
And then I have to explain it.
I'm like, I kicked them out myself
because of my girlfriend's scandalous behavior.
What happened?
Why were you so upset?
Well, Carissa texted my mom, fuck you.
Oh, so it was not relegated to just your friends.
No, no, and then my mom wrote back ha ha ha and she wrote back
I'm not kidding and then my mom wrote back ha ha ha cuz she knows she knows
Yeah, that's the kind of joke that you'd press it a little too far
Like I have a great relationship with my mother and she thinks anything I say is funny. God bless her
When she goes up man, what she no one loves you like your loved ones. No one loves you
That's very pretty.
Let's put that to bongos.
No one loves you like your loved ones.
You don't sing, I noticed.
Huh, what?
You just play bongos?
Yeah.
And tell stories to yourself?
Sometimes, yeah, sometimes.
Let's do that again with you telling the story
and I'll sing over it.
Okay.
It'll be sort of like a rap song with a sung hook.
Here we go.
Ready and.
There was a ghost ship on the water.
The ship was a ghost and the people on it
were also ghosts.
No one loves you like your loved ones.
Not bad.
Not bad at all.
Yeah.
I think that's something.
This is sort of like a Rihanna Eminem kind of.
A Rihanna Eminem kind of. A Rihanna Eminem kind of.
Dude, that's the kind of relationship I have with Carissa.
Cause she like, I love the way she lies.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
It's just, she tells untruths.
Yeah.
And then I'm left being like window pain.
Yeah.
Window pain?
I know why they call it window pain,
which is funny cause now I wash windows.
Right. Yeah.
You actually wash window pains.
Yeah. Eminem doesn't realize that like the way you spell pain when you say window pain is P-A-N-E.
He thinks it's P-A-I-N.
He thinks when he hears window pain, he thinks it's P-A-I-N.
Yeah, he was doing a Reddit AMA and I busted him on that question.
What's your Reddit name?
My Reddit name?
Yeah.
RandySnutsAllCaps.
Does that make a difference, the all caps part of it? No, I mean it is an all caps, but I put all caps after RandySnuts. Oh, I see, RandySnuts all caps Does that make a difference the all caps part of it? No, it's I mean it is an all caps
But I put all caps after oh, I see Randy Snuts all caps. Yeah, okay
Yeah, I'd love to see you out there on reddit just posting away cuz when I'm online, I'm shouting
So but you love Carissa yeah, I love her I mean it's a love-hate relationship
Yeah, how long have you been together? We've been together like three years now.
How many times has she cheated on you?
Jesus, I don't know.
Once for every day in the year.
So what's 365 times three?
It's over a thousand.
Jesus Christ, this is a bad relationship.
Yeah, no, you're-
Does she really get some action every single day?
I don't know.
I mean, I think a lot of it's my paranoia
and her trying to drive me nuts, you know?
Cause we live in a small town and there.
What town do you live in?
Well, right now, Alhambra.
Oh, OK.
Eastside or die, dude.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
You want to stay there then?
Yeah, I want Eastside or.
Why did you say right now, Alhambra, then, if you're never going to leave?
Well, we're living at Carissa's ex stepmom's place.
By the way, anytime you say right now, I get that you're currently somewhere.
Right now, you're currently 26.
You're currently living in Alhambra.
When one asks, where do you live?
They don't expect the answer of everywhere you have lived
and everywhere you're going to live.
They just wanna know where you live currently.
Yeah, that's what we're talking about right now for sure.
Yeah, so what was this about your mom?
No, no, not my mom.
Chris's ex-stepmom. Chris's ex-stepmom.
You and Karisha are living together with her ex step mom?
Yeah, yeah.
Her ex step mom.
Judy.
Judy.
Okay.
So she has no current relationship with Judy other than friend.
Not really, but Judy's like a really nice lady.
She's a judge out in Alhambra.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Judge Judy?
No, she goes by her last name.
Oh, what's her last name?
Judge.
Judge Judge?
Yeah, Judy Judge.
Like Mike Judge?
Yeah, like, yeah, she's related to Mike Judge. She's related to Mike Judge. And she is. Yeah. Judy. Judge. Like Mike Judge. Yeah. Like, yeah.
She's related to Mike. She's related to Mike.
Judge. And she is a judge. Yeah, she is.
Yeah. That's wild. That's why that's like Kevin Bacon
cooking up that bacon. Yeah. I guess you'd be upset and want to beat her.
If her name was Judy Judge and she wasn't walking around judging things, she would take a
take a blow to the legs. Not the money maker. Not the gavel hands.
No, no, no, no, no.
This lady does crab magal though.
She'd kick the shit out of me.
Really?
Muay Thai?
Tan Thai?
Muay Thai?
Muay Thai?
Muay Thai?
Is that what it is?
Don't mind if I do.
Oh, Randy.
I guess if people saw you and you weren't Randy
all the time, you'd get a beating as well.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, people try to deliver beatings on me
pretty consistently.
Yeah.
So I shoot my mouth off, you know?
Yeah, you run hot.
Yeah, if I've got a filter, I don't have a filter.
But if you did have one, it would be inoperable?
Is that what you were trying to say?
It would be too leaky?
I got a broken filter on my face.
Yeah, you can cut those into four, by the way,
into quadrants.
You can quadrant your filter? Yeah. That's not a bad idea. So you can sometimes, you can cut those into four by the way, into quadrants. You can quadrant your filter?
Yeah.
That's not a bad idea.
So you can sometimes, you can use it.
I'm just using a fourth of my filter right now.
You know, I don't wanna use the whole thing.
Dude, like I can sing, I can talk in four octaves,
but I only choose this one.
Really?
Okay, let's hear another one though.
I mean, I'm out of practice.
Yeah, I mean, you have a very steady,
if I were to make musical notes,
if I were to transcribe the musicality of your,
the rhythm of your speech,
you would be pretty much a flat line.
Yeah, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Tell the story.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
There was a barf, she were really good at bows and arrows.
They were on an adventure across the fields.
By the way, I've noticed, Joe, that a lot of your stories have to do with mythical adventures
of wizards, dwarves.
That's what I'm heavily into these days.
Really?
Yeah, I really am.
You're into fantasy?
I'm into fantasy and stuff like that.
Yeah, what kind of authors?
Who are your favorite authors?
Oh, I don't read books.
Oh, just creating it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do my own, yeah.
I'm very into, you know, I've been getting heavily
into Jethro Tull.
I write a letter a day to Ian Anderson.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
And have any of them ever been returned?
Returned?
No.
What do you mean in the sense that somebody wrote me back?
Yeah, or the postman returns them.
Well, yeah, that I've been getting.
But the first one I did get a little something like a little
join our fan club thing like that.
Oh, okay.
But that was like a form letter.
And then I got very angry because that seemed
because I wrote him a very, very personal letter.
I really put it all out there.
And then to get a form letter back.
So from then on, the letters have been fairly hostile.
And what are the kind of personal details you've included?
About your own life, about your feelings for Ian Anderson?
Yeah, mostly about my own life and about different things that I have done
to the tune of different Jethro Tull songs and things like that.
And it's been very, very sexually explicit.
I've been writing Ian Anderson some very sexually explicit letters.
And then to get back a form letter is very insulting.
Anything about the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack?
Oh, what about that?
I believe he's on that, isn't he?
You're thinking of a different...
Ian Gilliam?
Yeah, Ian Gilliam.
I thought they were both on that, no?
They might be the same guy.
They might be.
But...
Have you ever really met two different people with the same name?
You know what I mean? Oh, like I've I don't think I've ever met another Randy
I don't I'm certainly have never met another Joe right you know what you hear about them on the news or whatever
But have you ever really met one my mom's name is Randy snots what yeah Randy with an eye?
Oh, okay. Well, yeah, that makes sense. You can spell it differently and that's- Oh, you want it to be spelled exactly the same?
Yeah, exactly.
Dude, I'll search the earth for another Randy Snuts.
It doesn't have to be Snuts either.
Dude, sign up for my Patreon.
You have a Patreon?
Yeah, where I travel the world
looking for another Randy Snuts.
Okay, how much are you asking for?
I don't know, 10 bucks each?
Each what?
Each Randy or-
As long as it's less than 27, just like Bernie.
Okay. Just like dresses? Bernie keeps it pure. Oh, is's less than 27, just like Bernie. Okay.
Just like dresses?
Dude, Bernie keeps it pure.
Oh, is that right?
Hey, Bernie Sanders doesn't want a contribution
to Ho for $27?
Well, I don't know.
That was his MO a while ago.
I don't know what the deal is now.
Modus operandi.
Modus operandi.
Whoa, that was another octave.
Yeah, let's get it.
Oh, nice.
Modus operandi.
Modus operandi.
Modus operandi.
Modus operandi.
Modus operandi.
Modus operandi.
And there were L's. Modus operandi. Modus operandi. Modus operandi. Motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, motor's operandai, like a Wright Brothers type situation? That kind of a thing, but mostly made out of leaves. Yeah, one of those things when you go to the Museum of Aviation,
it's like flapping wings.
Yeah, but I'm picturing more of a Gilligan's Island type of thing,
because they had to use what was available in the forest.
Yeah, fronds.
Fronds, a lot of fronds.
Yeah, just neerr-neerr-neerr-neerr-neerr-neerr-neerr.
Fronds.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
It's not called business.
It's not called business.
You know, I auditioned for that show.
Did you?
Which part?
I did.
I auditioned for Chandler. Really? 25 years part? I did, I auditioned for Chandler.
Really, 25 years or so ago?
Whatever, I used to be an actor.
Really, did you see anyone else in the waiting room?
Bruce Willis.
So he auditioned for the part of Bruce Willis
back before the show came out?
Yeah, they make you do that, people don't know that.
He was auditioning for himself on the show Friends?
Yeah. And then they wrote Bruce Willis off? I guess so. Too many white people that. He was auditioning for himself on the show Friends. Yeah.
And then they wrote Bruce Willis off.
I guess so.
Too many white people.
We can't have Bruce Willis on here too.
Yeah, there was a lot of white people, wasn't it?
Yeah, that's a little too many.
Too many.
Yeah.
Would you say sexual?
Yeah, sexual.
Sexual.
Six white people together, start stripping them.
Strange credulity.
You know?
Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me. And they lived across the hall from eachity. You know? Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me.
And they lived across the hall from each other.
That's the thing.
I do not want to know my neighbors.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
Right?
You don't want to know your neighbor
because you stuck with those people.
I couldn't, I could never figure out on that show,
were they friends because they met each other
because they lived across from each other
or did they like each other so much
and they were such good friends
that they moved into the same building together?
Was that ever established?
I mean, I think some of them knew each other previously.
Like Ross used to have it for Rachel.
And then obviously Ross and Monica.
Sure, they know each other.
Yeah, they know each other pretty well
because they're brother, sister.
Yeah, but Ross doesn't live in the building.
He lives elsewhere.
So he knew Monica.
But what I'm getting at is Chandler Bing,
the part that you auditioned for apparently.
Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani, is that his name?
I don't know.
They lived across from Monica and Rachel,
but did they live together before that?
Was it like, were Joey-
Did they meet from being neighbors?
Did Joey and Chandler have a too loud of a party
and Monica came over to complain and then they just they really enjoyed each other's company
and then and then Joey and Chandler met met Ross oh like oh you should meet my
brother he'd be a good friend of yours and ours. I don't know. Yeah. But who can
we ask? You didn't do this kind of research? No. When you auditioned? For Christ's sake no not at all. What kind of research did you do? I didn't do any research at all at all. I
took a Polaroid of myself and I showed up at the casting office.
Did they ask you to bring a Polaroid?
Apparently actors have pictures of themselves.
Oh, okay.
Those are called headshots.
What did yours look like?
Oh, it was, you know what, I only had one shot at it and ended up, I don't even think.
It's a lot like Eminem.
Very little of my face.
Without Rihanna.
Yeah.
He's done a ton without her.
He's done the majority of his songs without
her. Yeah. I would say. His best stuff was Wither though. Yeah, those two songs. Oh dude, they shred.
Yeah. They pound. Yeah. What's your favorite type of music, Randy? Definitely Eminem is up there.
All the stuff with Rihanna, D12, Anytime He Freestyles, his feud with Everlast bad meets evil. Yeah bad meets evil
Dude, are can you imagine if bad medieval do things would get psychotic?
It'd be like better than the suicide suicide squad movie the Sue is oh wow so you like suicide squad
Yeah, I love that movie. Yeah, is that your favorite film of the last few years? Uh-huh. Yeah
I have it on audio and I run to it
Uh huh, yeah, I have it on audio and I run to it.
That's a good idea.
So how did you get it on audio? Did you hook up your VCR to a tape deck?
I bought a ticket, I wore a trench coat,
and I pulled some audio equipment into the movie theater.
You did a rerun in What's Happening to This?
I hope you didn't start dancing
and the Doobie Brothers busted you.
They wouldn't bust me.
But I love what's happening
The dwarfs got involved in the war between the elves and the ghosts on the ghost ship
And that's when the wizard
Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. I just I keep getting snippets of this story. I mean, it's captivating
I don't even know what I'm talking about. You gotta write this stuff down. I'm just in a boggles. Oh nice hard to know what's going on
I went hard to know. Yeah, I wonder if you're transporting your mind to a parallel world. Oh wow
I don't know.
That would be wild.
Describing what you see like a reporter almost.
Oh, sure.
Who knows?
Like Ian Anderson.
You know, the doors of perception,
you get opened up into other worlds when you take LSD.
Were we talking about the doors a little while ago?
We were, yeah.
Okay, good.
Well, look, we need to take a break.
Speaking of doors, we need to go through this door
into some commercials, and when we come back, though,
we're still gonna be talking to Randy,
still gonna be talking to Joe, I hope.
Yeah, and I'm gonna find out if my podcast got picked up.
Uh, it did not.
What?
And we'll come right back
with more Comedy Backpack after this.
What do you mean?
No, we're not picking it up.
I mean, I got a podcast that I'll pitch to you.
Okay, well, do that after the break.
Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here with Joe Bongo, who
stopped playing the bongos and has been staring into space
for the past couple of minutes.
Is that space?
That was space?
No, I just mean into the space in front of us.
Oh, okay.
Were you looking into space?
What did you see?
I didn't know where I was looking.
What did you see?
Tell me everything.
I saw an angel.
Really?
How do you know it was an angel?
Because it had wings and a halo
and it was carrying five babies.
Five babies?
Yeah.
Like are these dead babies that carrying into heaven? It was pretty clear that she had stolen these babies. Five babies? Yeah. Like, are these dead babies that are carrying into heaven?
It was pretty clear that she had stolen these babies.
Oh, dear.
Is that what happens when people die?
Angels steal us?
Uh, yeah, I think so.
So, if we are to not die, we just have to outrace the angels,
which is hard with your thigh eyes.
Yeah, it's not easy.
Yeah.
The angels are gonna get you, my friend.
If somebody wants me dead, it's done.
The taste is gonna get you. And I was staring into the space between. Yeah, oh angels are gonna get you my friend. If somebody wants me dead, it's done. The taste is gonna get ya. Yeah, and I was staring at the space between. Yeah. Oh wow. Your Wicked Lies, which is a mashup
I'd like to see between Dave Matthews and Eminem. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's the ultimate mashup. Do people still do mashups?
I hope so. That was such a good
couple years for music, wasn't it? Oh, dude. Man. Dave was crushing it every single time he got out.
It felt like every other week he was like,
here's my live from Red Rocks album.
Sure, why is he always going to Red Rocks?
He frigging loves it dude.
It's like he had a residency there
and he just put out every single time he was ever there.
Yeah dude, something in the atmosphere,
a bunch of crystals and shit.
Yeah, Randy Snuts is here.
He's returned with us from Alhambra currently.
I'm back again.
Guess who's back back again?
Randy's nuts and his friends and my friends Joe bongo and Scott awkward in who's got a podcast that will not quit
Yeah, well speaking of podcast that won't quit you say you have a podcast pitch that you want to pitch me now
Joe he sent us a pilot on audio cassette. Yeah, I made a podcast pilot and I sent it to Scott
and he hasn't decided whether he wants to pick it up or not.
No, it's not happening.
And so it sounds like Scott's mulling it over.
Yeah, I'm just waiting to hear.
A lot of fan pressure will push him over the edge.
I think that's a good idea, it's very possible.
It could be, it could be.
Everybody write Ian Anderson a letter
and tell him to write to Scott Aukerman
and tell him to pick up my podcast, please.
So if I start getting mail from Ian Anderson, it's worked.
Yeah.
Okay.
The endless possibilities of that one,
driving and fucking.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like some episodes could skew more toward driving,
some could skew more toward fucking.
And then, you know, you'd hit the sweet spot
where you're talking about both,
or you're talking about driving and fucking the whole time.
Like, honey, I'm trying to see the road.
Stop fucking me so much.
It could be a true four quadrant type of podcast too,
if it's like hits driving and fucking and where they meet
and just, you know, right there.
Where are those four states that meet at the one
in the corner of each of them?
Oh yeah, Massachusetts.
No.
Washington.
No.
Rhode Island, is that what you said?
Yeah, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Washington.
And Atlanta.
No, I don't think so.
Hotlanta, Hot Braves, this is the year.
Okay, sure, Randy.
Chipper Jones is coming back.
All right, I'm not interested.
Chipper fucked a Hooters waitress,
which is an all-timer, dude.
Now I'm interested.
You can retire sexually if you fuck a Hooters waitress.
Really, so that's where you hang it up from the rafters?
Yup.
Oh, I can't wait to retire sexually.
I've been saving. It's exhausting keeping it going. It. Oh, I can't wait to retire sexually. I've been saving.
It's exhausting keeping it going.
It's very exhausting.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Tell me about your podcast pitch.
What do you got?
Randy Snuts?
Yeah, it's called I'd Hit It.
And it's audio of me hitting a button.
Like people would tweet at me objects
and I would get that object
and then I would hit it with a bat
and we'd hear about it.
And then a couple of people would talk about
what the sound made.
What the sound made or what sound it made?
Huh?
What do you mean what the sound made?
What the sound made.
What?
You keep repeating it.
What do you mean by that?
What the sound made.
Sounds make things, you don't know that?
Look, I gotta admit I made a mistake or I could keep saying it and win you over. Okay, you did? What the sound made. Sounds make things, you don't know that? Look, I gotta admit I made a mistake
or I could keep saying it and win you over.
Okay, you did.
What the sound made.
What the sound made.
Yeah, anyway, it's called I'd Hit It.
So it's all about people bringing you
or requesting things to you.
Do you have to buy the things that you hit
or do people bring them to you?
I guess people would bring them to me.
Yeah, cause you're gonna be spending a lot of money
if people are just like, hey, a Lamborghini,
and then you have to buy a Lamborghini
and hit it with a baseball bat.
Yeah, that would, all right.
That would bankrupt you.
Yeah.
So it has to be stuff that people bring to you
or send to you.
Yeah, I'd be like, I'd start small
with like a wrench or a soccer ball.
Right.
And then I hit that stuff.
With a baseball, it's always with a baseball bat?
Yeah, dude, I'd hit that with a bat.
Maybe that's a better one.
I'd hit that with a bat.
Not bad, although I'd hit that is actually a phrase,
so it maybe would stick in the mind a little bit.
Yeah, what do you think, Joe?
I think it's pretty good.
Who are the people who, you say a couple people
would talk about what the sound made.
Who's gonna, because I would, I'd love to volunteer.
Yeah, all right, so I'll have Joe on it.
So this is sort of like the elderly people
at Marina Del Rey, it's a volunteer situation?
It's a volunteer situation.
It's a phone tree, email tree.
Do you have to bring your own stepladder?
I'll bring my own ladder.
Yeah, it'd be a good idea to like
toss something up in the air
and then I'd hit it from the ladder with the bat.
That's not a bad idea, yeah,
once people start getting tired of the baseline.
And then maybe we get like a couple people
that are like really good with audio.
So maybe we got Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine,
or however you pronounce it.
The defiant ones?
Yeah, and they'd probably be like,
I didn't like the sound cause they're defiant.
But Joe would be like,
Yeah, that's great.
I probably like it every time.
You know what I mean?
Cause I don't have a high standard of sounds.
Or what they make.
Yeah, or what they make.
What sound made?
What the sound made?
What the sound made?
What the sound made?
Is that being the title of the podcast? What's the sound made? What the sound made? What the sound made? What the sound made? Was she sapping the title of the podcast?
What's the sound made?
I don't know.
Scott hates it.
Scott has a no on that.
How long are these episodes?
How long are they?
Yeah, because it seems like you hit one thing
that takes about three seconds.
Yeah, it probably top out at like 45 or 60 seconds.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, every episode of the podcast?
Yeah, but you could record a bunch in a chunk.
That's true.
It's sort of like doing Wheel of Fortune.
Pat Sajak works three weeks a year, I think.
Yeah, so I'm thinking about your overhead, dude.
Thank you.
Wait, hold on.
He only works three weeks out of the year?
Yeah.
Pat Sajak?
He does all 52 weeks in about three weeks.
He still does his late night talk show, though, on CBS.
That's got to be a lot of work.
Yeah, in his house.
Yeah.
Yeah, wouldn't that be great?
What if that had caught on as big as the Tonight Show
and he was just out here like,
giving the counterpoint to Cole Bear?
What if he still had a monologue every night?
That'd be great.
Wouldn't it be great?
I can't believe that.
Yeah, he doesn't do it anymore?
You say he doesn't do it?
I don't think he does.
Yeah, he doesn't get the opportunity to do it anymore.
He had it on, I think it was on CBS.
I think, believe it was, yeah.
Can you believe that?
What if that had gotten popular?
Letterman never would have went over?
Boy, that's an alternate universe right now
that I want to stare into.
Let's visit that alternate universe.
Yeah, play the bongos.
["The Bongo Show Theme"]
That's a Jack has a show.
And it's been going on for 20 years or more.
25, 24, 24, 27, no, actually 30 almost.
Wow, that's a scant few details, I have to say.
Still trippy to step into an alternate universe.
Still, it's always trippy.
Pretty wild, right?
And I think there's probably elves and dwarves there
and things like that.
You know what?
I actually, if you could grab a newspaper next time
you're in there and read the headlines from it,
you know, it would be very instructive.
From that alternate universe?
Yeah, yeah.
Try to slip into the bongo zone again.
Here we go.
OK.
All right.
Penn State Tech has a CBS late night talk show and has had it since 1993
and it's a really big hit
What the?
Alright, here I got a newspaper
What's it say?
What does it say?
It says great deals on washer dryers
No, no, look past the advertising, go above the fold
Lingerie, these lingerie heads are nice No, no, look past the advertising. Go above the fold. Lingerie.
These lingerie ads are nice.
No, no, go to the headline.
Look at these girls.
Well, it's mostly ads.
It's amazing.
That's the newspaper business, isn't it?
Oh, dude.
Yeah.
Whew.
Wow, well, we didn't learn anything.
Did we not?
I was in the bongo zone.
Next time, look up into the air and see if there's, you know, dirigibles.
Isn't that weird?
Anytime you go into an alternate universe,
you know, they have zeppelins, you know, up in the air.
Yeah, like people are obsessed with like older technology,
but they've made it better.
Whereas in our timeline, we're like, that sucked.
No, that sucked. Who wants to...
We've seen that picture on the Led Zeppelin 1 album of it crashing.
We don't want to get up in those, you know?
It's kind of insensitive for Led Zeppelin to do that, you know?
What's that?
They put that...
Oh, yeah.
The Zeppelin crashing into the ground.
Hindenburg survivors were very mad at the...
What if your dad died in the Hindenburg,
and you're like, I love Led Zeppelin,
I cannot wait for their album to come out?
It comes out and look at it.
I mean, I guess, you know,
the fact that they're called Led Zeppelin,
that would give you... That would have been a tip-off give you a tip off. Why would you even like that band?
That thing's not going anywhere. Yeah, it's already pissing you off because even the people
like the victims, like children and stuff, their family members, they'd be like, Led
Zeppelin, like it was a smooth ride. Yeah, it was filled with helium. But it was a smooth
ride. Yeah, yeah. It was not like a heavy lead ride, you know, right? It went down slow
I mean, it's kind of it's really insensitive
It's kind of like calling your band 9-eleven or something like that, you know, like the Twitter the former Twin Towers or something
Oh, you know and then putting a picture of it. Geez. I mean terrible. We shouldn't know why why does it?
Well, how many years did they wait from Hindenburg? When did they never crash? Okay, so I think it was in the 30s
And then the 70s, it's 40 years.
So they waited 40 years.
So how long do we have to wait at?
2041.
2041.
Fair game.
Fair game.
Have at it.
I'll tell you, this is one, like, on the ride home,
I'm gonna be laughing my ass off about this,
but I had to pay respect in the moment.
I appreciate that.
That's nice of you, Randy.
I shouldn't even probably be talking about it.
It's not 2041 yet.
All right, look, if you edit this out,
you're a fucking coward.
I will not edit it out.
You won't?
No, I'm not a coward.
As established before, I told him right to his face
that I'm not picking up his pilot.
What?
Do you not remember?
What do you mean you're not picking up my pilot?
You're on the fence.
You're on the fence, dude.
No, no.
Fan pressure is going to push you over.
Fan pressure. So I got full confidence that your pressure is gonna push you over. Fan pressure.
Joe, I got full confidence
that your podcast is gonna get made.
I don't know.
People wanna hear about these things.
Yeah, they do, they do.
People like driving and fucking.
Yeah.
You said you had a second idea for yours though, Randy?
For my podcast?
Yeah, because just in case, can I hit it
where we figure out what the sound made?
Let me hit it.
Let, let me hit it.
No, I'd hit that. I'd hit that? Is that what you called it? I think it started out as I would hit it. Let, let me hit it. No, I'd hit that.
I'd hit that?
Is that what you're holding?
I think it started out as I would hit it.
Yeah, I'd hit it.
Well now I got three ideas out there
and you're saying maybe to all of them?
No, different idea.
I'm not talking about the title.
Dude, what are you drinking, coward juice?
Say yes to one of these, green light it.
You're yellow light in everything I do.
You can't shame me and call me a coward.
That's my next idea.
A business shaming Scott.
I follow you around and I go tsk tsk
to all the things I don't like in your life.
Like what would that be?
I don't know.
Like what'd you have for breakfast today, dude?
I had an egg thing and some turkey bacon.
Egg thing?
An egg thing?
I forget what you call it.
Did you have Kevin Bacon over?
Yeah, he came by.
He did?
Yeah, I was like, look,
if you were friends with Kevin Bacon,
and you invite him over for like around 9 a.m.
Yeah.
He has to know, oh, okay,
I'm supposed to bring the bacon.
Absolutely.
I bet a couple of years ago,
he was flipping out when people were coming out
with bacon beers and like bacon ice cream.
Like now I'm on the clock all day.
Oh yeah.
Helping everyone forget about Hollow Man.
Has he ever, you should have him, yeah, that's my next pitch. Okay. Shaming everyone forget about Hollow Man. Has he ever, you should have him,
yeah, that's my next pitch.
Okay.
Shaming Kevin Bacon about Hollow Man.
Shaming Bacon.
Shaming, yeah, actually.
Or Shaman Bacon.
Shaman Bacon?
Yeah, I don't get what the angle on that podcast would be.
I don't know, maybe you get some sort of like
Indian tribal chief and Kevin Bacon,
they have a conversation.
Dude, I'm wearing cargo shorts,
I'm as white as they come.
I can't like do like podcasts about other cultures.
I got shredded.
RIP my mentions.
I noticed your cargo shorts, by the way.
Yeah.
Take a look at his thigh highs.
You ever think about putting on some of those?
Dang.
If I weren't looking at the top half,
those thigh highs would be mighty inviting.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Thank you.
They look school girlish. Oh, thank you very much.
Well, they're really just protective, because I'm tired of getting hit in the legs.
They're hot pink, almost like the St. Vincent album.
Well, and that wasn't a choice, because, you know, it's a long story.
But I'm at the emergency room, and they're like, we'll cut you a deal on these hot pink
ones.
Oh, okay.
And I said, okay, because insurance will not cover preventive casts on your legs.
Right. They won't do it.
So how much did those run you?
This was like $8,000 for these hot pink, inside hot casts.
I hate to be insensitive when I say run you, by the way, because I know you can't run.
I can't really run in these.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
Do you have crutches?
I haven't noticed how you...
I came in and you were already sitting down.
I couldn't afford the crutches.
That was going to be another $3,000.
I mean, you're already pot committed, though, with the $8,000. I know, but I could. You couldn't do it. Because I was like, I don't afford the crutches. That was going to be another $3,000. I mean, you're already pot committed, though, with the $8,000.
I know, but I could.
I couldn't do it.
Because I was like, I don't need those.
I'll just lift myself up to my feet, and then topple over,
and then get back up.
But even that has turned out to be hard.
It's mostly just a drag.
Even that?
Yeah, I've just been dragging myself around.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's the opposite of Tom Petty.
Ah, stop dragging me around.
No, he wouldn't back down.
And he wanted his heart to stop being dragged around.
Right, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
We can go deep on that.
How did you feel, Randy?
Are you a Tom Petty fan?
Absolutely.
100%.
He's my number one.
That was a tough year last year.
I was crushed.
Yeah, I bet.
Yeah, dude, I was on the floor.
It took a while to get up from that one.
I feel like he will be back though.
You think so?
I do. You think so? I do.
You think an angel's gonna?
I don't know the mechanics of how it's gonna happen,
but I do feel that Tom Petty will return.
So he didn't back down to the angel,
which was his ultimate mistake,
because if he just would have escaped.
Yeah.
We have not seen the last of Tom Petty, that guy.
He'll be back.
He'll be back, trust me.
He's running down a dream right now.
I wouldn't be surprised if just next year, suddenly like surprise album release, and we're like, what? Yeah. It's like, oh no, no, no, he'll be back. He'll be back. Trust me. He's running down a dream right now. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if just next year,
suddenly like surprise album release.
And we're like, what?
Yeah.
It's like, oh no, no, no, he's back.
And he doesn't talk about it.
It's not a big thing.
It's not a big thing.
He's just like, no, no.
It's just like, I'm here.
That whole thing from last year didn't work out.
It just didn't go how I thought.
And I'm back and it's fine.
I'm back.
And let's just forget about it.
And he does that song.
Back again.
That was the dream.
I was so upset he never covered that song, the Eminem song.
I bet he covered a ton of stuff in studio,
because they were a prolific band.
Yeah, oh yeah.
And they could just like, you know,
someone would be like, play this, and they'd play it.
So there's probably going to be a lot of like pop culture
cover, posthumous albums that are coming out.
You think he'll do the entire rap too?
Yeah.
And then him and who's that guy from the Heartbreakers Mike Campbell?
Yeah Mike Campbell like you know redoing the video where like Dre and Eminem
were Batman and Robin. Yeah that would be amazing. Yeah for sure. If they just
secretly filmed that and Tom Petty was like put this out after I die. We're
getting hey I'm loving it but we're getting insanely disrespectful.
But that's, that's you though, Randy.
Dude, that's what I'm gonna wait 40 years before we can talk about this.
Come on.
It's like 40 years after his first album.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Eligible for the rock and roll hall of fame.
So it's already been 42 years since his first album.
So there we go.
It's a fair game at this point. Classic
self-titled album. Yeah, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. The riffs that took over America. Mm-hmm.
Play the bongos, play the bongos. Oh hang on, I fucked up my headphones. He's gonna cover the Friends theme.
Oh he's a... down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down And there were blimps made of lead. Oh, there's, look at the ground, there's a newspaper.
Okay, there's a war raging on a ghost ship in the harbor and this wizard is destroying everything in sight, but I'm going to take a quick look at this newspaper.
And, uh...
I thought that was the headline.
Let's see here. Buick LeSaber. They're bringing that back? Wow.
Good price on a car though.
Not bad.
Okay, so we know that in this alternate universe, the LeSaber was the most popular car.
So they have like, rotomannery flying machines and the Buick Sabers.
Hey, don't you love it when people are like, hey, what kind of car is that?
Is that a nice fancy expensive car? And someone's like, no, it's a Buick. And they're like, fuck off what kind of car is that? Is that a nice, fancy, expensive car?
And someone's like, no, it's a Buick.
And they're like, fuck off.
Buicks suck.
That can't be a Buick.
That's like Buick's, like, that's Buick's ad campaign.
That's their current ad campaign.
We used to suck.
We know we suck.
And we know we currently suck.
And people, and we apologize.
Fuck Buick.
I will never let Buick advertise for anything I do.
Yeah.
Why? What do you do? We've never established that. You worked at that AMPM.
I post stuff with my boys, and I create epic legendary stuff.
Right, right, I forgot about that.
I do!
Well, like, what have you created?
We set a bunch of my friend's old clothes on fire.
He gained a ton of weight, and so we had to say goodbye to a lot of his smaller clothes.
Oh, that's tough
So it wasn't it wasn't the opposite. It wasn't the Dom DeLauise. Oh, no
He had no aspiration to get back to a size where he could fit back into his just like fucking burn it
I'm happy where I am. Yeah, he was too thin to be honest. Oh, okay. Yeah, he went from a small to a medium
You guys are making it seem like oh, okay. Yeah, I don't mean to body shame him whatever size he is
He had a lot of like this this guy's behind the times.
He still had frosted tips, so we shaved his head
and burned his clothes.
Wow.
Oh my God, wait, is this, this isn't
that diners, drive-ins and dives guy, is it?
Ooh, Guy Fieri?
Wow, you pronounced it so perfectly.
That's beautiful.
Guy Fieri.
A true Italian pronunciation.
One of my favorite shows, dude.
Diner, diner, what is diner, driving and fucking?
Diner, driving and fucking.
Diner, driving and fucking.
Diner, driving and fucking.
Diner, driving and fucking.
How?
Fuckins.
Yeah, man.
Fuckins.
Well guys, I could talk to you all day.
I enjoy you guys.
Okay.
You have nothing else to do today?
I don't think I do.
No, I mean, I'm supposed to be teaching now.
Really? Yeah. Also, you're supposed to to do today? I don't think I do, no. I mean, I'm supposed to be teaching now. Really?
Yeah.
Also, you're supposed to be in that parking lot.
Yeah, but the parking lot takes care of itself.
Does it?
Wait, Scott, are you saying let's take this offline?
I'm not.
Let's kick it.
Let's slide into the DMs.
Let's lick it and kick it.
All right, no, but we do have to wrap it up.
Hey, here's a doll of you.
Show me on this doll where you want me to lick it
then kick it.
Nowhere. That's a really weird doll. Did you have that made? Yeah, why do you have a doll of me? Show me on this doll where you want me to lick it then kick it. Okay, nowhere.
That's a really weird doll. Did you have that made?
Yeah, why do you have a doll of me?
Why do you have a doll of Skye?
I don't know, everyone's got their hobbies.
Is that a hobby of yours, making dolls of people you know or just of me?
Yeah.
Wow.
Of you, yeah.
Of me?
Yeah.
Okay, how many do you own?
I don't know, six or seven.
They take a while.
It's not very flattering, if I may say.
Yeah, it's almost like getting a caricature down by the beach.
You've enhanced my most grotesque attributes.
My nose is enormous.
But thank you very much. I appreciate the interest.
I get into a lot of fights with those caricature guys out there.
You do? On the pier?
Everybody knows there's one awesome spot On the pier. On the pier?
Yeah, because, you know, everybody knows there's one awesome spot on the pier where you get
little sun but not too much.
You know, if the Caricature Guy gets there before me, I've got to drive him away.
You get a little sun but not too much.
You don't want too much sun.
Slightly shaded.
I'm sorry, we don't have time to get into all that, but another time, please come back.
Okay, sure.
But we do have to do one last feature on the show
and that's a little something called Plugs.
Oh boy.
Yes.
["Plugs"]
All the things we should love so we want to hear your love
The Yoblovs, the Yoblovs, the Yoblovs
Wow! That was Plug Me Baby by Maxwell James, Joe Bongo remix. Beautiful.
Ah, beautiful stuff.
Now if you had someone like Maxwell James in the band,
what would you do?
Play the Bongos.
What do you mean?
What was your question?
I don't understand the question.
What would I do?
Flunk it?
I don't know.
Oh, I see what you're talking about.
If he was a student at Marine Joe Ray High School,
and he was in my band,
yeah, I don't think I would let that guy go.
No, no, that's too talented.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amazing stuff.
Thank you, Maxwell James.
All right, what do we plug in?
What do we got out there?
Like, obviously you have a show.
Yes, my new podcast is starting up
as a regular podcast on Earwolf.
No, definitely not.
Immediately.
Also, Rose Bush read my band.
We're playing the Battle of the Bands out in Dana Point.
We're gonna be out on a barge.
That's how they do it.
Is it, when you say Battle of the Bands,
what happens during this?
Do you just play songs, or is there something else
that happens in this battle?
Well, no, I mean, yeah.
Everybody plays songs.
You get to do three songs each,
but then the real, I mean, it really fucking goes down
in the parking lot of the ocean experience
aquarium thing they have over there.
That's when the bands really fucking settle who's best.
Right.
Bring your own bat.
Yeah, you can bring them.
Yeah, maybe you could bring a ringer over here, the star of I'd Hit It.
He has his own baseball bat.
That'd be great.
I usually bring a broken bottle, but a bat would be good too.
Yeah, I'll hit the ground with it.
Sweet. That's great.
Okay, so great.
Go check that out.
And Randy, what are you plugging?
I mean, I'll plug a hangout,
kind of impromptu kegger
that me and my friend Kevin are doing.
And we're gonna be listening to One Hot Minute
out of the stereo in my car.
When you say that,
you mean the Red Hot Chili Peppers album?
Yeah.
The one that Dave Navarro did?
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
Kicks ass. Why not? It's pretty thin after My Friends, but otherwise it's a prettyppers album. Yeah. The one that Dave Navarro did. Yeah, that's right. Okay. Kicks ass.
Why not?
It's pretty thin after My Friends,
but otherwise it's a pretty good album.
Right, okay.
Actually, if you don't listen to My Friends,
it really lowers expectations and you can enjoy it.
Oh, okay, because My Friends is so good.
Yeah, yeah, it's way better than the rest of the album.
Okay, interesting.
Frankly.
Walkabout, that's a good song.
Yeah, pretty good song.
Walkabout's a good one.
Aeroplane?
Aeroplane?
I don't know, aeroplane.
I'm a little pee, that's a good one. Wow, a lot of true Walk about the good one. Aeroplane? I don't know, aeroplane. I'm a little pee.
That's a good one.
Wow, a lot of true music lovers in this room.
Sounds like you guys will either be there or you don't need to be there.
Yeah, I think I don't need it.
I can pass.
In any situation, that's where I like to be.
I'll plug a show called Shrink, which is streaming for free on NBC, on all its platforms, the
website, and the app.
Yeah, get in there.
Get in there. Hey, I wanna plug the PCAST Blast coming up very soon
in two weeks.
PCAST Blast, the live podcast performance event
of a generation, if not a lifetime, over at the Ace Hotel,
the theater at the Ace Hotel here in Los Angeles,
December 15th, Saturday, all day.
We have incredible shows.
We have Teacher's Lounge, Doughboys, Off Book,
Throwing Shade, the Andy Daly podcast project,
which you will be interested in,
and then a live comedy bang bang with myself
and Paul F. Tompkins, Lauren Lapkus and more special guests.
Head over to the, my Twitter has a link for to buy tickets
right at the top in the pin tweet and head over to the
theater at the Ace Hotel website as well.
They'll help you out.
You're not gonna wanna miss that.
Tickets are moving fast.
PCAST Blast 2018, December 15th.
Okay, let's close up the old plug bag.
Uh oh, let's turn it up. It's time to open the bag. It's time to open the bag. It's time to open the bag.
Open the bag.
Open the bag.
Open the bag.
Open the bag.
Open the bag.
Oh man, if only that had started at full volume,
we could have gotten the remix and played it
until the end of the year, but unfortunately,
engineer Cody Sam fucked it up,
so we will not be playing the Joe Bongo remix I apologize to you Joe I don't even know what's
happening okay what are you seeing right now I'm just looking straight into the
void and Pat is there and he is beckoning me in with the baby no don't
don't go in there okay we'll see you next time. Bye!