Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Give It To Gilli! (Gillian Jacobs, Will Hines, Dan Lippert)

Episode Date: July 16, 2026

On this Bonus Bang, actress and podcaster Gillian Jacobs joins Scott to talk about the new season of her podcast Periodic Talks, the Fear Street movie trilogy on Netflix, and Back to the Future Part III. Then, cartographer Henry Sames stops by to talk about his personalized maps. Plus, broadcaster/NBA superstar Bill Walton returns to talk about his summer plans. #GiveItToGilli! Originally released on August 15, 2021. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everyone, this is Scott Ackerman, and welcome to another bonus bang where we are re-releasing great episodes of comedy bang-bang out from behind the paywall. And last week we started a new series. We're very excited by. We're continuing this week. It's a series called Swiss You Were Here that showcases NBA All-Star and sportscaster Bill Walton. Now, Bill, of course, is played by Dan Lippert. And what do we have this week? We have an episode titled Give It to Gilly. We know this is a classic already. It stars, of course, Gileon Jacobs from Community. Then we also have Will Hines as cartographer Henry Sames. And we have Dan playing Bill Walton. Now, this was originally released on August 15th, 2021 as episode 719. And as I've mentioned before, Comedy Bang Bang.

We're in the middle of our 2026 ground beefing tour. And we're touring North America, the UK and Ireland. And the UK and Ireland is coming up, I believe. next week even, so don't miss your chance to catch me and Paul F. Tompkins and Andy Daly at the UK, in the UK, rather, and Ireland. And then me, Paul F. Tompkins and the CBB All-Stars in other cities as we come to a city near you, hopefully. Now, our live shows filled with surprises, the funniest guests, great crowds. Come on out, join the fun. You can check out all of the tour dates and buy tickets at CBBWorld.com slash tour. If you enjoyed this episode, you want to hear other great episodes of

Comedy Bang Bang as well as shows like CBB Presents and Scott hasn't seen The Neighborhood Listen in College Town. You can become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the CBB archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes. We have Bill Walton's podcast that he has his own little podcast he does himself called Eat Pray Dunk, which is available in the CBB Presents feed. Plus, we're releasing all of the live episodes we're doing the very next stay for all of our Maximus subscribers. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang. The Linguine is fine, but for a few dollars more, you can have spaghetti Western.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Naked Laser, Lemonade. Oh, I like all three of those things. Lasers, lemonade, and naked. Wow, doing both of those things, lasers, and I got, doing a laser, I'm not quite sure. I guess doing laser tag. Sure. Oh, man, that was fun.

My laser tag years. Oh, boy, from like approximately 2012 to 2012 to 2000. 2019, my laser tag years. Cut short by, of course, the novel coronavirus. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. For another edition, my name is Scott Ackerman. We have a wonderful show. Coming up a little later, we have a broadcaster, another broadcaster, a fellow broadcaster, I should say.

And he is a fellow, so that works out. We also have a cartographer. A map maker for you, idiots who don't know what that means. I can certainly dumb it down for you. But speaking of dummy it down, our first guest is, uh, She's an actress of note. She has a, she's in movies. She's in television shows and she's also a fellow podcaster now, perhaps coming for me,

nipping at my heels on wanting to get up there on Mount Podmore. Her new podcast is all about the menstruation cycles of women, humans, I guess, called period talks. Please welcome back to the show, Gillian Jacobs. Oh, Scotty, Scott, Scott. Put that next to your mouth. No. What do you say? No, as you do it.

No. Welcome back to the show. Thank you for having me. Yeah. What's this period talks? What is this? The last time you were on the show, you were talking about this dynamite podcast called If Then. And you had your friend Deanna on.

Deanna. And, oh, she was, why didn't you bring her? She's so fun. Too good for you. I get it. Meaning she didn't feel that way. You just thought that she was too good for me and decided not to bring her that way. Oh, we recorded earlier today.

I mentioned that I was kind of. coming here and she said, oh, send them my love. But. No jealousy, no like, oh, I would. Once was enough. Really? No, she's, I don't know. Why didn't you invite her? I didn't know I was allowed to invite other guests. Well, yes, all are welcome here. What? You could have brought anyone anytime you've been on the show. If I had known that, I would have brought Dea. You have a plus three every single time. I do. What? I should read the fine print. You've slipped into this 50s or 40s character.

What? Hello? I do. Mrs. Ricardo, I will get the bill. Yes, I have a podcast. What happened to that old podcast? Because that seemed fun. That seemed like it was a good idea, but it, poof, it went away?

It went away, and now it has returned with a new name, Periodic Talks. Oh, periodic talks. I'm sorry. Why did I write down Periodontoc? Did you really write that? I really did. I guess I forgot to hear. I thought that was just a bit.

No bit. 99% of the stupid things I say on the show are not a bit, I have to say. Yeah, what happens? It's called periodic talks. Periodic talks. Periodic talks. It's the same show, though? It's the same show.

What happened? I can't talk about that. Really? Cease and desist? Cease and desist. No, we decided to change the name. I don't know. We thought, like, why not?

confuse our listeners. Right, with the name of another podcast? Yeah, I mean, do you really like this podcast or you kind of like this podcast? A lot of people don't do that. Whenever they say, hey, I came up with a name for my podcast, they go, it's this. And I go, we'll have you checked to see if there's 80 other podcasts with that name. And they never do. You had to change it.

See, I don't like that. I don't like when a podcast gets going. It's doing really well. People know it. And then suddenly, like, you know, midway through, they change their name. I mean, it's poor planning. It's shoddy. It really is.

Oh, I thought this used to be called comedy death rate. Uh-oh. Oh, goodbye. Forgot about that one. I'll get the bill. But that's still going. Still going. Deanna is your co-host and you talk to, is it still, it's steam people?

Yes. Right? The premise remains the same. It's just a brand new name. Okay. So from basically the top down, it's all the same. It's all the same. With a little alfalfa sticking up on the hair, that's changed. That's the only thing that has changed.

Okay. Or from the toes, the toes have changed. Think about it. Okay. How about this? The nail polish on the toes has changed, but everything else has remained the same. Okay, wonderful. And how often do you say the title of the show on the show? At the beginning of the show and at the end of the show when we do the credits. When you do the credits. Is this like Marvel, by the way, where you do like fun little scenes in the middle of the credits where like, you know, Julia Louis Dreyfus comes in.

It's like, Gillian, I'm recruiting you. Yeah. Yes. Yes, it is. You want to be in those Marvel movies? Sure. Who would you play? Are you up for Sue Storm in the Fantastic Floor?

I don't think so. Really? You should do that. Okay. I'm Sue Storm. Meaning I like to not see you, the Invisible Woman. Why is her name Sue Storm if she's the invisible woman? I don't know what you mean.

You think her Christian name should be Sue Invisible? Yes. Okay, that's a good point. I mean, he is Mr. Fantastic. Does he have another name? Reed Richards, of course. Oh. I've already forgotten after I did that.

I know. You were working with the Marvel universe for a while with that Marvel documentary. But none of the people I profiled, I don't think they had written the Fantastic Four. The only Fantastic Four character I dealt with on that was their son who was part of Franklin Richards, of course. Franklin. He was part of PowerPack. Exactly. Thank you. So he was the only one. They, like the parents are always off somewhere in space far, far away and sort of left him there. And that's why he was hanging out the kids of PowerPack. So I didn't bother to learn about the parents. And your, your documentary wasn't about kids in the Marvel Universe. It was about female creators in the

Marvel Universe. And I believe Weezy Simonson, she wrote PowerPack. Is that what it is? Exactly Scott. I did not watch it though. Well, I don't care. Do you get paid either way if I watch it or don't? Probably, yeah, yeah, probably. I mean, I don't have Scott Ackerman Clause in my contract yet. Okay, you should enact one because I think that's very important.

Would you ever lie for me and said you watch something so I got? Try me out. I'm a very good liar. Try it out. Hey, Scott, have you ever listened to periodic talks or period talks as you thought it was called? Yeah. Okay, great. I believed you.

Okay, good. Hey, have you ever watched Love also starring your good friend Paul Rust? Oh, God. Yeah. Good show. No, I love that show, of course, you know. If people, you know, it's still up there as far as I know. Netflix, they've only taken a few things down.

Yes, we've remained. You have remained up. They started taking stuff down, though. Really? Their own shows? Their own shows. Like stuff they've made. Uh-oh.

please, please go stream love. And Fear Street. Oh, what a great segue, Scott. Let's talk about that. What a layup. Thank you for that. Because it's on Netflix. It's on Netflix.

If you have to explain the segue, it's not a great segue. But Fear Street, you are in these Fear Street trilogy movies, which just came out about a month ago on Netflix. Three separate, their horror films. They're interconnected, Scott. Oh. Oh, yeah. It's three films that all take place in these towns of Shadyside and Sondy, I can't remember.

Who's going to say, how do you remember any detail of anything you ever shoot? I don't. But they are all based on... It's all nonsense, right? Like, everything you're in, I mean, everything anyone is in. Everything I'm in is nonsense? Everything anyone, I mean, you know what I mean? Like, even the best movie in the world, like, talk to, like, like, nomad land.

Talk to Francis What's your name? McDermott? Dormant. Talk to her like a year afterwards ago. What was your character's name? She's like, I don't know. Who gives a shit?

Maybe it's on the Oscar. Do you think they write the character's name? I don't believe they do. They write the Because you know I'm just, I'm three away from an egot. So, gonna get there at some point.

So I've been investigating that. But so Fear Street. Do you think you'll win an Oscar first as an actor, writer, or director or producer. Hopefully all of them for the same film. Or for different films. That would be amazing. One year?

In one year, four different films win Oscars for each of them. Forget an Egot. Now the goal is four Oscars, one year. I want an ooh. That's four O's. Well, I feel like it could be an ooh year for me with these three Fear Street films. Now you're not in one. No, well, sh.

But you're in the others. Yes. Ooh. And that's a double ooh. You could win for acting in both of them because there are two separate films. Does it work like that? Yeah, they're two different films. All right.

It's not like, you know, Back to the Future, two and three came out in the same calendar year. They did? Yeah, but they're not going to, one came out in like May and one came out in December. It was a May December romance there, much like Christopher Lloyd and Mary Steenbergin. But they're important. Back to the Future Three is love interest. Oh, I haven't seen it. You were very confused.

You haven't seen back to the future three. You haven't seen the end of the trilogy. I've only seen the first one. Then you don't know anything. Yeah, I know. That's why I looked confused. He floats off of the ground on a hoverboard. What?

Marty McFly does. If I knew Mary Steenbergen was in it, I would have watched it years ago. She's good. It's a very sweet romance between the two of them, but of course he's an old guy and she's a young woman. And that's Hollywood for you, right? Yeah. But Fear Street, speaking of Hollywood, you're, They have three different years on them.

One is like, what's the first one? 1994. 1994. Then what? 1970-something. Okay. 1666. Okay.

Then that's triple six. That's the number of the beast. It's a human number. As are all numbers. Right? I think so. That's just from the Iron Maiden song market, or number of the beast. Once again, never heard it.

So you haven't seen back for the future three. You haven't listened to number. of the Beast by Iron Maiden. What have you been doing with your life? I have. Kicking around Juilliard. Oh, gosh. Yeah. You know, we didn't really listen to a lot of Iron Maiden at Juilliard, but we could have. Did you get any blowback from your last appearance from the Juilliard folk over there? Because you went deep into the process. Listen to the last

episode. It was a few months back. We talked a lot about Juilliard. Did you hear anything about that from any of the instructors? You persona non grata with that. I'm assuming I am. No one has reached out to me to say otherwise. So I'm going to assume. Like John Hausman hasn't like called you from beyond the grave. No, no. I have not heard from John Hausman. Did he teach there?

Yes, he did. He created. Yeah. Yes, he started the drama department. You know a lot about Julia. Yeah. For never having been invited to go there. What was that movie?

The Paper Chase? Did he win an Oscar for that? He was a TV show, I believe. No, never mind. So he was, you know, three away from knee, God as well. No, not an O. Although I bet he, did he win for Citizen Kane? Fascinating biographies, by the way, by John Hausman.

Read those, but not before you watch Fear Street, 1994, 1970 something. Just watch all. Go Netflix, watch love. Just press play. By the way, so they don't pull it off the server. Just play and walk away, exactly. Play and walk away. By the way, I was reading a tweet of a fan of these movies.

someone you know, someone who was in Mad Men with you. Oh, wait, no, you weren't. That was the other person. Allison? Yeah. Rich Summer. I was on love with Rich Summer. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, wasn't he your... What a fan you are. He was your... He was my ex-boyfriends. He cornered the market with, like, shitty ex-boyfriends for a little while, with Allison and you. I was first, and then he was on Glow with Allison, yes. Weird, isn't it? I think he's a terrific actor.

He was great. He is. He's an amazing actor. But he talked to... about these films on Twitter the other day saying that he loved them, that he thought they were amazing. I was like, incredible. And he hopes that there is a series to come out of them.

Hello? He absolutely loved them. I think this guy's on to something. Yeah. So I want to check him out. Of course, Kulap can't watch scary movies. So I have to. And you know, I don't know.

That title is scary by itself. Fear Street. Fear Street. Is that the character you play in this movie? Gross. Well, watch these and your manager really wanted me to stress your podcast. Periodic talks. Periodic talks.

And how is that doing? How is it being a podcaster? It's a lot of work. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about it. I know. Why do you think I'm not in movies?

I'm here every goddamn Monday. It's been a main. I try, I have, like, people have come me and said, hey, do you want to be in this movie? And I've been like, well, every Monday I have to do bang, bang. And they're like, oh, yeah, we, no. No, get out of here. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so, I mean, also, why did I create a podcast in which I have to interview really smart people who are experts in all different fields within the STEM world and try and do enough research so I can have a coherent conversation with them?

Why? I know, you have to probably do eight hours of research just to seem dumb. Mm-hmm. You know? That's actually accurate. Yep. So how much longer do you have on that? Is that going to continue or you seem exhausted by it?

No, I'm excited by it. It's a fun show. It is a fun show. Yeah, the second season is out now. Please. Oh, you're doing it by seasons. That's a good way to take breaks. Yeah.

So we have some exciting special guests that are coming up. Special guests. One of whom we've actually mentioned in this conversation. In this very conversation, Rich Summer? No. someone else Allison Brie You got me there

But somebody else too Someone else as well John Hausman Who have we talked about Oh Christopher Lloyd Mary Steenbergin Mary Steenbergin She's coming on this show

This is amazing I don't know if I'm supposed to talk about this One of the best actresses of our generation Or any generation Alive or dead One of the best actresses in the world She's pretty spectacular And she's alive

Yes Yeah But she's just as good those are the dead ones. Any dead actress put her next to Mary Steenbergin. She holds up, especially now that they're dead. She's putting out great where I love her. I love her too. That's great. What does she come on to talk about? I can say no more. I can say no more. I guess it's about her music hearing. I forget what the actual thing is. Okay, well, I'm excited about that. Because I tell people about that sometimes and they can't believe that the Mary Steenbergin that we know and love has this thing.

I don't want to spoil it. Just listen to period talks. And she'll discuss it on that. And that's a great podcast. When's it come out? Tuesdays. Tuesdays. Tuesdays on the Stitcher Network.

Okay. Well, wonderful. Gillian Jacobs is here. We have to take a break if that's okay. Can you stick around? No. No? Please stay.

All right. Has this interview beaten you down? I'm so tired, Scott. What is happening? It's the life of a podcaster. Yeah, I get it. I get it. We will, speaking of lives of podcasters, I am a podcaster and I am alive, and I have two other alive people coming on the show.

We have a fellow broadcaster and we have a cartographer. Plus we have Gillian Jacobs. Boy, what a show. We are going to be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. All right. Comedy Bang, bang, bang. We are back with Gillian Jacobs here from the Fear Street Trilogy, hopefully going to be a series on Netflix. Have you gotten the numbers there?

Have they called you with the three-day numbers, then the 30-day numbers? I'm not a fancy producer like you, Scott, so I don't get those kind of calls. Yes, I got the three-day call. I got the 30-day call, and they said, and then at the end of a year, we'll give you the year numbers. I said, okay, what time is that going to be? And that made them laugh. Very funny. Never heard from them again.

It's been out for two years at this time. Now I'm terrified. I didn't know they were pulling their own titles off of Netflix. So please. I can't remember what they pulled. Fear Street. Watch love. Watch other things, please.

Please. It's kind of weird to put these horror movies out in July, but I think it's a great strategy. Everyone's around. Well, one of them takes place at a summer camp. Oh, that's a good point. Okay. Great. Okay.

Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Fear Street, 1990-something, 1970-something, 1916-something. 16-something. They're all out there. You can easily searchable. We have to get to our next guest. Please. He is a cartographer, which we mentioned earlier, is a map maker.

Please welcome for the first time on the show. What a pleasure. And you're used to do any cartography reading up in order to just seem dumb? Haven't yet done that. Okay. Well, if you ever have one on your show, this will be good practice. Okay, great. So I want you in here.

Okay, great. I will be here as Gillian Jacobs co-host of Periodic Talks today. Yes, okay. We're hosting competing partners. Great, great. Okay, great. Two podcasts for the price of one. That's the way I look at it. Hi, I'm Gillian Jacobs. Hi, I'm Scott Ogman.

And of course, each week we talk to somebody from the world of STEM and today. This is the show where we talk to interesting people. Humanities podcast, of course. We have a cartographer on the show. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Henry Sames. Hello, yes. Wow. Thank you so much, Scott and Gillian. Yes. Welcome to Comedy Bang, bang. Welcome to Periodic Talks. I didn't expect that second one, but sure, the more exposure the better.

Sure, yeah. That's great. I expect this to air as an episode of your show, by the way. Clip it. Just take me out of it, and then it's just you. Quite easy. Wow. Oh, hey.

Yes. Welcome to the show, Henry Seam. So great to meet you. Oh, yeah, but I'm thrilled to be here. Listen, I'm going to be real honest with you both. If that's all right, I'm here. No, I expect full candor from all of our guests. Oh, good.

I'm not a good liar. I have to be straight up. I'm looking for business. I'm looking for business. Okay. I'm a cartographer. I make maps. And as you might guess in recent decades, mapmaking, not as in demand.

We've been everywhere, you know? You've been everywhere. Everything's covered. Yeah, most maps are for places. Once you mapped it once, you don't need to do it again. You really should have thought to be in a business where it has repeat business. You know what I mean? Like podcasts, Gillian and I, it's perfect because we put out one a week.

One a week. Doesn't tire us out at all. No. It's energizing. It is energizing to be here. I've never heard of a podcast host getting tired or anybody getting tired of it. So you guys were smart. But for you making a map, are you energetic the minute you set down your pen and you're like, map done?

I love it. Do you say something like that? Map done. Everyone has a closing phrase in the world of cartography. Of course. I wish I had map done. Mine is Map Finito. Someone else had Map done, another cartographer.

Yeah, Map done was, who gosh, who knows. Probably Magellan had that. Matt Dunn, yeah, of course, yeah. Yeah, a man named Matt Dunn would have loved to have had it and probably doesn't. It's a competitive world. So you say Map Finito. Map Finito. And is anyone around to hear this?

Never. I'm alone in my room. It's a lonely. Well, it's your room. Who else do you want in there? Nobody, you're right. You know what I mean? I should be happy.

I should have an animal companion. Okay, but what's the point of getting a room? I do have an animal companion. Thank you for asking. Oh, what do you have? Kitty cat. Oh, kitty cat. I consider her a little familiar.

Oh, yes. Like a witch is familiar. Like a witch, like an extension of street. I don't know what you're talking about. Have you ever heard those words before? Fear Street? 1666? I haven't.

That'd be a great matter. You've never heard of any of those words. No. Fear? Never. You've never heard of fear. Never. Hold on.

Hold on. Turn around for a second. All right. What is that? That's fear. This? Oh, I'm alone so much. I've never startled.

My life is. Not even your kitty cat jumping on you in? Oh, no. She's a sweetheart. She's a wonderful sweet. She never would. She's my familiar. She cares for me.

Henry, do you know that I actually in real life named my cat after a witch is familiar from the Scottish play? I respect. Oh, thank you very much. Oh, boy. Don't want to say that around here. That's a superstition we have in the mat-making world, too. You're not allowed to say that particular play. She's talking about my baby.

No, don't scone. I've just spent three times and spit over my shoulder. I've had that feeling again, twice in one day. Have you heard of the melancholy dine? I have, yes. You're talking about coming up with... Dan Cook.

When his brother stole all that money from him. Can't believe I don't know any Danish people. Map Beth. Map Beth, yes. Yes. Not bad. I'm going to write it down. Is that your cat's name?

I wish it was. My kitty cat's name is Lulu. Lou. After the British singer. After the British singer. It's her with love. That's right. Yeah, she's my favorite.

Where do you live, by the way? What's your ad mess? Yeah, let's get more information. That's very personal to find out a mapmaker's address, you know. Well, I just, it ties into an earlier question. So I'm wondering if you have an address, if you could just say it. We can bleep it if you want, but I just want to hear it. You just want to know what my address is?

Yeah, I just want to know what your address is. I'm on 1,000 Mill Plain Road. Okay. Danbury, Connecticut. All right. All right. All right. You haven't heard of that word street.

Okay. That's right, yeah. Just want to see if I could catch you. What if I almost walked into one there? Laid the trap. Nope, I've never heard of street. Never heard of fear. Never heard of 1616.

Okay. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. What else? I have a question for you. We're still finding a lot about space, which I know about because I've actually interviewed an astronaut for my podcast periodic talks.

Wow. What a brag. Yeah. Thank you. And so why don't you start? Which part? Her knowing a lot about space? Just having an astronaut on her podcast?

I guess. Yeah. I've never, no, I've had one astronaut on here. Who's that? I can't remember what his name was. It was about a year and a half ago. That's going to be a bummer for that person. You're an astronaut.

Not enough to make people remember you. Why don't you map space? Yes. Jeff Bezos went up there in a dang penis the other day. No, we're all so jealous. Flying around in a flying dong? I know, I know. And he's like, let's throw out our trash up here.

You could be the first person to map it. I would love to map space. I would love to. There's no money in it. Who wants to buy a map of space? I'm broke. I got to sell these maps. Which maps do you have?

You have maps that people Goodbye right now. What I've resorted to since, like, most things are a map is I make personalized, individualized maps. So it is of an area that technically they could find on an existing map. But I try to personalize it. I like this. Try to like mark things. For example, Scott, if I were to make a map for you, I could theoretically map your route to work.

Sure. And maybe mark things that are interesting to you. Like, oh, I like this restaurant or this is the place where someone spit on me. Okay, that'd be a weird one to include. it would be personal and individualized, and then I can sell that to you. And you might frame that. I like this. This is a good business.

And it uses my map making skills, but it still has a market. Where would you get mapped if you could get a personalized map? I like to do what if you did like someone's whole life. Yes. Every step they've taken. It could be. We could start where you were born, for example, and into a place where you live currently. We could mark things along there.

I bet there are babies who were born during iPhones with GPS. that they know every single place that the baby has ever gone. I wish I could remember. For that generation, the map, the individualized maps are going to be so accurate. I can't wait. For you guys, I got a guess a little bit. Yes, the woman in the corner. Is it important that a map is accurate?

Yes, that's a good point. Interesting question. I'm going to say yes. Well, I've seen some like exaggerated maps of like the United States or like a New Yorker's view of the world. Yeah, you know. New York is big and the rest of the country is small. I love that cover of the worker. Those enrage me.

Those are inaccurate maps, and their popularity baffles me. Why anybody would like an inaccurate or purposefully distorted map. I do not understand. You like them to be. Sorry you get so angry. That's quite all right. We're used to. I appreciate the passion. We had the fear, yeah, on our ends.

Yes. I'm feeling really 1666 now. Are you accurate in the sense of you're to scale, but everything is exact, exact, exact. Do you do all the measurements yourself and everything? Yes, yes. It's got to be to the scale of the, whatever that map is. What's the scale of a map usually? My personally favorite, one to ten.

One to ten? One to ten. So only ten times a small. These are big maps. Hey, that's how I like it. Most of my house, the walls, are just maps to the neighborhood. These are giant maps. They look great.

One to ten is a, it's really a... Or there's small maps of a very small area. Yeah, if it's like a molecule or something. Ooh. Yeah, or what about you can make placemats, like little kids like to have placements. Or maybe parents like educational placements with their kids. Gillian's pointing at me like I'm going to co-signed. So, okay, yes, sure.

You know. Okay, so like a map the size of a placemat so the kid can be learning something while they're eating or whatever, like a map of their neighborhood maybe where they're allowed to go or they're not allowed to go? Do you like to learn things while you're eating? Yeah. Didn't you ever read cereal boxes growing up? Cereal boxes? Didn't they used to have fun facts on cereal boxes?

Maybe a little game. I mean, occasionally I would look at the Wheaties box and figure out who won the Olympics that year. I guess I've always been more of an intellectual than you got. Maybe you are. We weren't allowed to read the cereal boxes in my house growing up. I had a very religious family. Oh, interesting. What does religion have to do with cereal boxes?

They just controlled. My parents controlled the information we were exposed to. Anything that wasn't religious, you weren't able to. They didn't want to risk it. They didn't know what was in the back of these things. They didn't know what sort of information. Yes, a woman in the corner. Question.

How do they then feel about you referring to your cat as a familiar? It's caused a huge separation You drift with your family I had to basically agree to disagree And I'm not interested in witchcraft Is that? Very much Yeah

The dark arts Oh so they're dark arts when you practice them I only like the dark arts Oh Not the light ones, not the good ones Okay So maybe there's an area here Where you could make a map

Of something related To your interest in witchcraft Done it already Oh Who would he sell it to himself? Yes the trouble The trouble Gillian And first of all thank you for the suggestions

I don't mean to be critical of them. I'm not making podcasts for me to listen to. I can't sell my dark art. I thought you're supposed to be your own first, target, something. If you don't like it, who's gun off? What I have tried to do is to map

the evil in people's souls. I like this. Okay. I cast a spell of the dark arts with my familiar Lulu. Lulu. Perpetual kitten. Is Lulu here?

Could we see, could we do this spell? Could we practice it on Gillian over here? I do happen to have Lulu here in my satchel. A real super. Sue Storm. That's right. Yeah.

You should be Sue Storm, by the way. All right, I am. Oh, I thought you met a Native American tsunami. But you mean the character from Fantastic Four. Yes, I meant the Invisible Woman. How long have you been sitting on that? Since we were talking about it earlier? I'm holding on her for a little while.

Okay, good, good to know. So you have, oh, here's Lulu. Yes, I have Louie right here in myself. There she is. Now, Lulu is a kitten, but I have cast a spell to keep her in the kitten-like state forever. That was Gillian, by the way. The cat has been making noises, but then Gillian, just went right here.

Scott would never make a cat noise beneath him. Yeah, Scott's too cool. Gillian, not at all. Not at all. That's my brand. Yeah, this is Lulu. She's a perpetual kitten.

She's frozen in this age by unnatural means. I don't know what any of that means. Yeah, I'm like Fear Street 1666. Yo, I have no idea. You don't know what it means. No, I heard the words before, but I don't know what they mean together. I've frozen this kitten in her current age for the last 20 years. What?

She is in the state of being six months old. for the last 20 years. Oh, oh, you haven't literally frozen her in your, in your icebox. No, I didn't like, no, I didn't like, you didn't Steve Rogers her. Oh, okay, two competing. Ted Williams. Disney properties, though.

So we're on the same wavelength. Same continuity of freezing fictional characters. No, no, no, I have used the dark arts to keep her at the same age. Oh, okay. Boy, I would love to do that. What age would you be if you could stay at any age? Oh, God. Under 30, please.

Under 30, under 30. You know. I don't know because sometimes like sometimes you look back at old pictures of yourself and you're like, oh, I look way too young. Boy, I was just a baby or whatever. But like if no one ever knows you get older, then people love you at that age. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I feel like you have an answer to this question. Which age would you like to have been frozen at?

When was I the best? I had 27. 27? Yeah, that's when I was at my peak. That's an athlete's career year. Two whole years ago. I knew you at your peak, I can say. You certainly did.

Gillian, what year would you pick? Yeah, four. Four, interesting. You would stay four. Four years old. That is a very interesting choice. You have the ability to speak. You can probably read.

I was reading a three. I don't know when you were reading. I was in Montessori school, which I really enjoyed. Your brain still continues, so you would be able to do anything. You'd be, having adult conversations. Your body would stay at four, but you would be that creepy kid

who talks, you know, like an adult. I was that kid. You're telling me. You're still that kid. Hello. Now, using this kitten. Have we gotten too off track? It's never happened to me before. Okay.

He's always on the map. I never get off track. I will now map the evil in both of your souls. I'm so excited about this. So this could reveal sides of yourself that you might not be ready. to learn. Look, I'm an open book.

Anything in my life is, I'm perfectly fine with Gillian and the listeners seeing. Okay. Well, I admire that. I don't know if you feel that way, Gillian, but. I do as well. This will not reveal, like, secrets or like gossip. This will just be your input. No gossip.

I'm afraid not. No dish. Exo, X-X-O. You should be her. Fucking give it to Kristen Bell again. She did it already. It's her gig. That's her.

Give it to Gilly. Give it to Gilly. Great hashtag. We need to start to give it to Gilly. campaign. All right. We got to focus. Narrow in on one. Which one do you want me to have? I want you to have Sue Storm. All right. Definitely. Okay. We need a series from Fear Street. Great. Give it to Gillie. Give it to Gillie. We need a love reboot. Okay. Someone replacing Paul.

A Scott Ackerman perhaps. Maybe a Scott Okerman type. Okay. But who better really when you think about it. Give it to Gillie. I like this. Should we start? Okay. Hashtag give it to Gillie. All right. Go ahead. Henry. Here we go. I'm now going to Lulu. Come here, please. And I'm going to lay out this parchment here. Sorry, I have some parchment. Okay. And now I'll just pour some primer. Sorry, I get some primer on your table. Now, you are familiar with the seven deadly sins. What we will do now is...

Glutney, the rest. Great sloth. Gluttony and the rest. Gluttony's the main one. And we'll just see what, which, like, mixture of the seven deadly sins are each of you. Okay. What mixture? Oh, okay.

So it's like 46% this. It's kind of like a 23 me, but just like for sins. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, I love this. You know, like, what are you made up of? Yeah, what do we got? Your inner evil. What do we got?

All right. Lulu? Yes. Which we'll do first. We'll do Scott first. Oh. Oh, my shit. Oh, my God.

Why? What are you seeing? This is bad. Uh-oh. What's going on? I'm assuming it's all gluttony, right? No. I shouldn't.

I don't know if I should. Do it. Go ahead. It can't be that bad. It's not one of the standard seven deadly sin. It's not one of the seven. It's an eighth. It's itchiness.

This is like, what? Your main sin is itchyness. That's a sin? Yeah, it's a sin to be itchy. In my family, it was. You're itchy. I mean, yeah, I am. You're like 100% itchy.

Yeah, no, that tracks. That's gross to you. I find that distasteful. So what if I'm always itchy? I'm not scratching myself. You're dissatisfied. You're fundamentally not happy with your physical state.

It's gross. You're rejecting God's greatest gift to you. I didn't realize judgment came as a part of this. Here you go. Your map of your soul. It's out of my hands. Wow. This, by the way, you've drawn this

on a piece of, I can only call this parchment. Where did you get parchment? I mean, we just have like paper. I make it. You make it. I make the paper in my basement. It's a long process.

You got out of trees? Bark? I knock the trees down. I pop it up. You knock them down just for them. You're felling trees? I'm felling the crap on it. For one piece of parchment?

I knock them over and I go tree finito. To no one, of course. To nobody, all by myself. And does anybody hear it? Just me. Lulu. Yeah, that's a good point. By the way, you've just drawn a circle.

and in it you've just written itchiness. Well, that's what it is. Lulu and I have found that to be true in your soul. Okay. 100% itchy. 100%. You can live with yourself. You're a disgusting person.

All right, Gillian. Wow. Yes. Sure, sure. Okay. New parchment. Do too, do you do. New primer.

Barba, but bar, but bar bar, uh, I love the song. The songs you sing. Oh, thank you. They're cool.

Yep. They're like they could be on the pop charts. You think so? Yeah. I think they're really cool. You think, bu, could be in the potchments.

I mean, the way you do it, I mean, it's cool. This can be a new career for you, you know, cartography seems like. I do. I love, I love singing. I mean, I've never, do you like rap as well? Yeah, of course. Oh, I love to hear something here. What if I were to go, bo, bo bo bo bo, bo, bo, bo.

Like, hit us with the rap. If I was going to drop a rhyme like on that, I'd say, um, seems up by nature and not dangerous at all. Let's, uh, bo bo bo bo bo bo, here goes the routes that'll betray your soul. Mm-hmm. See if your evil is dark as dark as, Cole, betray your eyes, reveal the lies.

He rhymed again. And show your nature, true as the devil. He didn't rhyme. He didn't rhyme there. That's an artistic choice. Interesting. Interesting. It's an artistic choice.

You're good though, man. You think so? Yeah, I mean, aside from, I mean, I would have rhymed maybe done like a... You would have done a rhyme? I would have done a A-A-B-B-A structure probably, but... Like the bard. Yeah. Like the melancholy bard.

And that's my type, by the way. A-A-B-B-A. Wait, that's Never mind I don't even know how that's gross But I feel like it is Add a little sliver Okay, okay

Of lasciviousness Little lust on the corner of the itchiness Thank you so much All right, Gileon Your sin Breakdown Here it's time for a breakdown Now it's time for a breakdown

Never heard of that Um Oh Holy shit What? Oh my God This is bad. Oh, no.

What is it? Just tell me. So much worse than itchiness. Oh, God. I don't know. Worse than itchiness? Is it one of those, it's not one of the eight? Hang on, do I tell her?

I don't even know this person. You got to tell her. She said it was cool. Maybe I don't need to know. Scott. No, we need to know. No, tell me. Tell me.

It's too bad. Tell me and I'll see if it's cool. All right. She floats. I heard that. Her sin is floating. I do not. She floats.

She floats? Like in a pool? Like if I were to throw her in a pool? Or if she were to go above the ground. Oh, like, like Marty McFly and Back to the Future too? Like Sue Storm. Yes. Does she float?

No. Oh. I mean, she can make invisible bridge, you know, that she walks around. She could lift herself up with an invisible force shield. Okay, like Gossip Girl. Wait, Gossip Girl has invisible force shield? That's another give it to Gilly. I love the reboot of Gossip Girl with invisible force shield.

OMFG. XO, XO, XO. Invisible Force Shield. Yes. You're a floater. Oh. You're disrespecting gravity in the ground. Now I'm looking down at her feet.

They're totally off the ground. I mean, she is sitting, but still. Still, look at those feet. Just dangling. You are rejecting God's second greatest gift, which is gravity. What's his first? The body, the human body. Oh, I thought of love, maybe.

Now, love is like eight. Really? Yeah, love screws you up. Love distorts. Love makes you mad. Did someone hurt you? What? Never.

Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, Henry. Oh, Henry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I got rejected. We're having a breakthrough here.

I got rejected. By whom? My true love. My true love rejected me. Let's get into this. Anna. Anna. Anna.

Anna, palindromic name. I know. No matter how you spell it. Any scale. No, that's it. Two ends? One end? A N-N-A.

Yeah. Or A-N-A. They're all palpit. I mean, I guess if you were to do A-N-N-H, that wouldn't be. But which way were you thinking? Well, I have a friend. I can't talk about it. You can't talk about a friend? Nope. I made a vow. Was it A-N-Y-A? Oh, the Anya. That's a different

name. Or anna. I think Anna, Anna, Anna, any way you spell it is palindromic. Why can't you talk about your friend? Let's not talk about it. Okay. All right. We will not bring it up again. Yes, I was rejected by my true love earlier this week. Oh, just this week. Yes, just this week. What happens? Oh, my God. Let's go to a break. And when we come back, let's get into what I guess we're going to a break. Okay. That's a trouble of two hosts. Two competing five.

I wasn't going to take one, but I guess we have to. Yeah. When we come back, we'll be talking more with Henry Sames, the cartographer. We'll be right back with more comedy bang, bang, bang, and... Oh, periodic talks. We'll be right back. Comedy bang, bang, bang and... Periodic talks.

We're back. And before the break, boy, this was an exciting tease. we threw to the fact that Henry Sames is going to tell us what happened with his true love, Anna. Yes. Anna? Anna is how I say it, but yeah, sometimes she would say Anna. Is it a palindrome as well? Yes, it's a bebe.

Like Justin Bieber, the bebe? Like the abbreviation for Beeb, like the Beeb. Anna Beebe. Wow. A.B. A.B. Just a lot like my type. I didn't want to bring it up because I don't want to turn you on. You didn't mean to turn me on?

I didn't mean to. Thank you, Robert Palmer. Okay, so what happened? Because I'm not enough of a provider. Oh. She wanted to have a family. So a semen provider? I guess, yes.

That wasn't really the complaint. Oh, meaning she wanted you to pay for the family's needs. I guess you're right. The way I said that did seem like I was setting up to be a semen provider. But that was not a conversation we had. You were taken care of in that department, let's just say. I assumed there'd be no problem. It was enough.

All the sailors she ever wanted. You know what? Maybe we would have had trouble that way. Maybe. Fleets in. Yeah. Yeah, I'm the sailor. She's the boat.

I don't know the metaphor. But it was about money, unfortunately. I'm the DJ. She's the rapper. I don't know. I'd say in our relationship. You're the rapper, of course. She would be the DJ.

That's right. But she was an AB instead of a DJ. Yes. So how did it break up? Did she just say? She said, I can't do this anymore. I can't. wait for you to become more

solvent. I can't wait for this business to take off. I need to move on with my life. I'm wasting time and she... Well, you really memorize this. I mean, it's like that is seared onto your soul, Scott. You don't forget. Emotion is tied to memory. We remember the things that have the...

What were you smelling when she said this? Yeah. Fart. Parsim. If you were just constantly farting while she was saying... But that wasn't an issue. No, but that wasn't... That was not an issue. She loved it. No.

Parsimins. I did fart later, but I was smelling parsimmon at the moment. I bet the moment she walked out, it was just like a side of sight of fruit. And what type of fart was it? A little dry, whistly one. Really? Can you recreate it for us? I think so.

Let me see. It's like, so it's a lot like a slide whistle. Wow. Okay. My farts are hilarious. I'm so sorry. Thank you.

I'm not sorry your farts are hilarious. That's great. That part I love. That part's great. I lost Anna. Anna. Anna? I thought you said her name. Yeah, I say Anna.

But why did you just say? She says Anna. She says Anna. She said, oh. That must be another point of contention between the two of you. Relentlessly. She's like, why won't you say my name the way I say it? I go, shut up, it's Anna. As a Gillian in this world, I have no idea what that feels like.

Yeah. And I was like, I think I know better what you name. Oh, yeah. Are you bad at reading faces and reading emotions? You have like such a blank. I'm so fact-based. I miss a lot of social cues. Yeah, yeah.

It's true. You don't put any emotion into your work. How could you see emotions from others? I mean... Thank you for being sympathetic. I'm not practicing that. The very fact that you're talking like this to the woman that you love, either Honor or Anna. Wait.

Yes. What do we got? Stop. Stop speaking, Scott. I have an idea. What if we use your powers in witchcraft to conjure a love spell to bring Anna Anna back to you? I just, you know, it's a line you're not supposed to cross.

You're not supposed to manipulate one's heart. even with the dark arts, you know, truth telling, sure. But the hell with it. Let's do it. Yeah, fuck it. All right. So, um, all right.

Let's see if I can get on it back. Hang on a second. Lulu, come here. Come here. Come here, come here, girl. Step one, he said her name correctly. Does there need to be good Wi-Fi or anything like that? Yep.

We need good Wi-Fi. Yeah. Yeah. Because we got it. We're connecting to her. Yeah. All right. We're on a 5G here.

Ooh, nice. Yeah. Which is not my type, by the way. Your type of Wi-Fi is also A-A-A-A-B-A? Yes. All right. New parchment. Here we go.

Are you farting right now? Those are a bunch of farts? There's a new primer. All right, Lulu. All right, I'm going to need, I'm sorry to say this, I need drops of your blood. Oh, great. Oh, yeah. Oh, great?

Right here, yeah. We exchanged some right before the show. Did I take any of your blood? No. I usually take all of our guests blood. Oh, here. You have some right now. I'm so sorry.

Yeah. No, have some of ours. Here's some blood for you. Oh, that's so nice. Thanks. I didn't mean to spill it all over you. That's okay. That's all right.

Loose blood is okay with you? I don't mind. You know, Matt making's a bloody biz. You're felling trees. You're cutting your finger on the edges of the pay. All right. The blood into the primer. Anna.

Sorry. Anna. Come back to me. Wow. I don't have the money you deserve, but I have the love you need. That's good. I'll be devoted to you in every way that I,

I can. Is this a spell or just what he's saying to her? It just sounds a little sad. Yeah. He's a sad guy. I mean, I'll fucking rip my self to shit. Please come back to me. I'm a piece of shit without you.

He's pathetic. Women don't like it. I am needy, needy, meaty, meaty. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, lean into it. Did she like you when you were needy? No. How long were you together?

One day? Couple weeks? Couple weeks? Yeah. Yeah, she didn't like anything about you. All right. Let's just wrap it up. Is that what they say in spells?

Please come back. All right. Come back if you want. Here's the spell. Okay. That was just the message I'm translating to her. Yeah, okay. And now here's the spell that will deliver the message and also bend her heart to mine.

Ooh. Pulante. Fulong. Rambunctious. Fear Street 1666. What? Fear Street 1666. That's part of it?

She's adding a little. spice to your spell. Palantu, flonte, rambunctious, Fear Street 1666? Oh, this is gonna work. This is definitely gonna work. All right. Hashtag, get Gilly.

Get Gilly. What was it? I don't remember. Give it to Gilly. Give it to Gilly. Give it to Gilly. Give it to Gilly. Oh, sorry, sorry.

Didn't I say turn your phone up? I did. No, it's my phone. It's my phone. I'm so sorry. Oh, okay. Well, pick it up. Maybe it's her.

Okay. You can edit the sound. Hello? Henry, is this Henry? Henry? Is it her? This is R.L. Stein. Wow.

Writer of Fear Street and Goosebuck. Whoa, this is incredible. This is amazing. I felt compelled to call you all of a sudden. A huge fan. And your number was just in my telephone. R.L. Stein, this is Scott Ackerman, host of comedy bang bang. I don't know if you've ever listened, but I'm a big fan of your

your work. Scott. This is Gilly and Jacob Scyon. Give it to Gilly. Has to give it to Gilly. Of course, both of you are people who I am passionate about,

but right now my passions are for only one. We understand. We understand. Refocus. Of course, Scott, we're all praying in the Steinhouse that you get that ooh

sometime soon. Oh, thank you so much. And I have been saying give it to Gilly for years. Wow. Have you been talking about parts or Hollywood? parts? By the way,

give it to Gilly hashtag. It's a little dicey. I have regularly kicked out of meetings for saying that. It's why I'm not more prolific in the industry. But my love right now is for the man on the phone. Yes, Henry, me. Henry, yes, I don't know what

happened, but I can't stop thinking about you just now. Oh my goodness. Oh, shit. This backfire, Gilly. No, this is wonderful. Henry, please, if you could draw me a map to your heart or your location right now. Mr. Stein, I'm so sorry to tell you this. This was a love spell that was not meant for you. I think the addition of Fears Street 1666 really kind of just gummied up the works.

That's on me. I'm sorry, Mr. Stein. I'm a huge, huge fan. I love your writings, of course, but I don't have a romantic feeling for you. I'm so sorry. These sound like some sort of high concepts out of one of my, novels. Yes. I'm living it in life right now.

Yes, I'm afraid the love spell that fell in you was not meant for you. I'm so sorry. So my love is unrequited? Yeah, the heart wants what it wants. I mean, even though now you know you're the victim of a love spell, but that doesn't change your feelings, doesn't? I am still, aren't we all victims of love spells? This is a real midsummer night's dream conundra.

It truly is. Oberon Titania, of course. Of course. If we spirits have offended. Think but this and all that. all is amended that you have a slumbered here while these visions did appear. And this week and idle theme, no more yielding than a dream. Whoa.

What happened? What did that do? I entertained me. Oh, you're just stimulated by verse. It was incredible. Hylian, you're going to get a t-t-t-tut-da at some point. It's all Tony's? Or Tony.

Which is my pitch for the new Sopranos re-made. You know, it worked. One was great. Why not four of them? Why not get rid of some of these others? It's like a multiplicity. Cabella, Cabella. Cabella.

Yes, each Tony gets a bit stubborn in my rewrite, and that's spookier than anything I can think of. Well, then, almost the spookiest thing I can think of is falling for a mapmaker and not getting that love back because it was all a prank played by comedians. I'm sorry, Mr. Steyner. I'd be happy to make you a map, but I would be lying if I said.

I said I could give you my heart. Just reverse the love spell. I mean, you can do that, right? What you're saying? Like, point it back at myself? I don't know what that means. Oh, to undo it. To undo it, yeah.

Oh, you thought I was saying reverse it. Make me fall in love with him. Oh, good idea, Scott Ackerman. Please, please, please. All right, I'll do it backwards. Street, Fear, rambunctious. Six thousand, six hundred and sixty-one. Looks like a technical.

I would be here forever. I feel like you've already overstayed this. This probably. Yeah, probably. All right, go ahead. Palantu, Philontu. Ah, I am in love with you. And I have gotten very old.

Oh, no. What happened? Oh, no. What happened? You didn't reverse the numbers on 1666. Oh, Arl. Stein may be gone too soon after this. No, don't. I'm in love with you now.

You're my true love. And yet like another Shakespearean play, your discovery of true love has happened just before my death. Oh. Henry the fourth. I don't know. Juliet. Oh, right, right, right, right. The Starcross lovers.

Yes. No, I was talking about Falstaff's love for Bardolph and Henry the Fourth Part 1. Sadly, Bardolph took in too soon and Henry the Fourth Part 2. Well, we know what you're talking about. Of course we do. Juilliard. Students of the Bard. Well, at least we had this moment, I guess, R.L.

We had this moment. Oh, no, R.L. Stein is dead. Put the phone down. Call 911. Call 911. I'm calling. What's your address? Where are you?

Wait, do you live on Fear Street? Oh, yes. I've never heard of it. 1666 Fear Street. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. What's happening?

Your spell along with the help of Scott Ackerman and Gillian. This is like a Shakespearean death scene. This is horrid. This sucks. Yeah, it sucks. It really sucks. We killed R.L. Stein. Wow.

It can't be responsible. He's a great one. He can't say that song. We can't tell people those were his last. Oh, no, it's on this podcast. It's on two podcasts. The line's dead. He's gone.

This is no longer an episode of periodic talks. Really? You're out? You're bouncing just because this happened? No, I'm still here, but now I'm just here as Gilling it. Boy, that was terrible. I'm really sorry. Well, if anybody wants any maps, get in touch with me.

Okay, Henry Sames. We have to get to our next guest. He is a fellow broadcaster. Oh, exciting. Maybe he has a podcast that he'll be... Who doesn't these days, right, Scott? Tell me about it, boy. But please welcome back to the show.

Oh, wow, he's also an NBA superstar. Please welcome back to the show, Bill Walton. Yeah. Wow, what a pleasure to be here with Scott Ockerman, one of the great podcasters of all time. And Gillian Jacobs, one of the great Gillians, from Gillian Anderson to Gilligan's Island, one of the great ultimate Gillians I've ever seen.

She's Gillian Anderson, but I'll let you have it. But across the pond we say Gillian, I'm told. Yeah, just basically my mom. Who told you that? Who told me that? It came to me in a dream. Gillian Welch. Gillian Welch. And do you accept Gilligan?

He was mainly little buddy. That's what they would call him. Is it? I don't mean to interrupt your flow. Turn to Henry Sames. And of course, Henry Sames, one of the great cartographers of our time. Thank you so much. From the air-mentioned Magellan to...

Dennis and Claree, Redmondie? I've got it, I've got it. Thomas Guy. Google, Google, mouse. Yeah, they're one of the great matmakers for sure. Yes, thank you. Bill, I've noticed the last few times you've been on the show, you need a lot of help in coming up with the second thing.

Well, no, I find it's other people's discomfort with my inability to think of a second thing. Sometimes it just takes me minutes to think of one. I understand. And it may be not, you can edit it out. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of time. You're in C block here. Aren't we all running out of time? I'm those, Scott Ockery.

Good point. Is that what you're here to talk about? Yes. No, I think they actually came up on one of my other episodes. Oh, really? The inevitability of death and time travel as well.

Oh. You ever see Back to the Future, too? I love Back to the Future. What about three? Three may be even better than the second. Finally, Emmett Brown, our favorite character

of the films finds love in the third film. One of the great loves. One of the great loves in cinema history for Christopher Lloyd, from Danny Davido's character and one flew over the cuckoo's nest to Airbud in one of the straight to DVD Airbud films. Air buddies?

Yes. Oh, the sweet little buddies. Oh, the sweet buddies. Bill, so great to have you on the show. I mean, you obviously have a lot of time now. The NBA finals just were done. The Olympics, I think, are over at this point. So you have a lot of time on your hands and you can be on the show now.

That's exactly it. I've got free time and I'm here because it's summertime. It's my favorite time of year beyond basketball season. That's right. And Gillian, do you know, who Bill Walton is, by the way. I'm so sorry to say I don't. Oh, that's okay.

Most of the people who know of me are basketball fans, or even if a performer was in some sort of TV show about the era of basketball I came from, they maybe would have heard of me. The late 70s and early 80s. But if you were not any of those things, well, Gillian was too busy memorizing that Puck monologue from... I have more.

Yeah, I bet you do. Oh, I would love to hear it Puck, one of my favorite fairies of Shakespeare. What are your other favorite fairies of Shakespeare? period times. Of course there's, well, do we consider the guy from the island in that, the help the guy? Yes, the helper guy from the tempest. Ariel, I think. Yes. Then you have Oberon, King of the fairies, of course. Oh, I didn't know. We could use other fairies from a midsummer, or sorry. Mustard seed, peas blossom. Of course. Yes, the whole merry players.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, do you have an interest in Shakespeare? The immortal bard, the immortal bard. The person or the, the, the, the writing? Oh, great. I'll take you. I'll take you. either at this point. Oh, all of the above. His plays make me more curious about the person. What was he like? Well, you should see the film Shakespeare in Love, which won one of those ooze. One of the great loves of all time, Shakespeare and Gwyneth Paltrow. An amazing tale. Did that earn four Oscars? I believe, at least best picture, I know that. And best actress. Really? Guinness. Really? Good for her. That's, oh, those are the she-hows in her group, I believe. In Goop, I was about to get there.

Scott Humberman! Throw it down one time! I'm blueishu! Yes, sir! Great minds think alike, or great minds think for themselves, as they used to say, on Saturday morning, early television cartoons. Of course. Bill Walton is here. Henry, do you know who Bill Walton is? No.

He's a broadcaster. He calls NBA games. One of the great, mostly college basketball, they won't give me NBA that often because of my rambunctious personality. And your tie-dye shirts. Yes, I'm a little too freaky for the... But I do know. You play for the Celtics, right? You were a ball player yourself.

Is that right? Will Hines with the alley up to Bill Watt? I'm Henry Sames, but that's quite all right. Clutch. That was clutch. Easy mistake to make? Easy mistake to make. Henry, have you ever been told you look much like a writer and improviser and actor

Will Hines, of course, writer of the great book, how to be the greatest improviser line? I get called Todd Barry and Will Hines in equal measure depending on how far people are. Will Shakespeare. Yes. The immortal bard of whom I am so interested. One of the great wills from William. Shakespeare to my grandmother's. Scott Okram.

Left me a lot of money. Your grandmother's will. That's why I've been failing upwards. The will that created a podcast empire we could sign. Of course, yes. And of course, a very lovely brooch that you wear. Yes, every day. Just to remember.

Well, Scott, it's summertime and the living is easy. Oh, you're transitioning to summertime. Summer, summer, summer, summer. Summer, summer, summer. Summer, summer. Yes, thank you. Summertime. Summertime.

Not supper time. That's a different song. Supper time. Supper time. Supur time. Oh, that's from your good man, Charlie Brown. Suppers, supper, supper, summer. Yes.

You have a wide breadth of knowledge. Yes. Scott Ackerman, I did a little bit of community theater. Did you really? Yes. Were you in that show? Do you know something, Schroeder? I like the way you play the piano is nice.

Is there something about like peanut butter on the roof of your mouth and it sticks if you're really lonely. peanut butter on something definitely with that dog yeah oh lord scott arkerman had another sliver filthy the lust part is growing wow scott harkerman going after dark with the references to putting peanut butter on your jonson for snoopy to lick off for your own pleasure is his comedy banking after dark well i did want to mention that i've segues no longer periodic talks oh one of the great great podcast name changes of all time Thank you so much. I listened to If Then, thinking it was a podcast about what you learn around 301 and improv schools. The exploration that you do after you've yes-ended.

Speaking of improv teachers, this Will Hines-looking motherfucker over here. Oh, Henry, have you ever taught an improv class like Will Hines? I have never have. He's more of a rapper. Ah, you should take his glasses, the Will Hines Improft School. His glasses and he literally-classes. Well, you should take his glasses as well. Take my glasses, please.

Take your glasses? I should take Will Hines' glasses and then take your classes? What's the question, Will Henry? We're getting very confused here. Just because he looks so much like Will Hines. He's not Will Hines. Deep reference to Improv 301. Bill Watton.

People expect Bill Watton's deep knowledge of improv on this show. I would think that would be a real advantage to you as a broadcaster if you'd studied improv. The great Richard Jefferson from the University of Arizona and Cleveland Cavaliers, who is now a commentator for ESPN and the Brooklyn Nets took Improv 101 at the Ubright season's beginning theater. Did he now? Who taught him? Who taught?

That's a good question. I don't know. Maddie B? I don't know. Medi B. came out of retired. The Mondays teacher? Kanye took a class with Maddie B.

He certainly did. No wonder his lyrics are so effervescent. Wow. So, um, what's up? Well, let's... Summertime. You want? I'm trying to figure out what to do with my summer.

I'm taking up surfing. We don't have much time late. We, uh, less than a month, I think. Now, this is a curious question. When does summer end now that global warming has changed everything? That's a good point, you know? And I'm sorry to bring the room down, but it's okay. I expect, I mean, you are a famous, uh, liberal thinker.

You wear tie-dye shirts all the time. Where did you go to college again? A very good question. The University of California in Los Angeles. Go fighting bro. one of the great colleges in Westwood. It certainly is. It's one of the best Westwood colleges.

From the Brentwood College of murdering Nicole Brown. Oh, dear. Oh, my. They shouldn't have funded that. No, no. That's college closed quickly. One class only. One class and one freaky teacher.

Three units. And of course the Aero Theater College of Print Film. Of course, yes. So you, but why do you want to talk about summer? Because I have built my life around one thing. What is that? Basketball and ice cream. Yes.

Basketball and ice cream. And also the music of the Grateful Dead. Oh. Three things. Three things. And also my lovely son, Luke. Yes. Luke, great, what does he do again?

He's also a basketball coach, played for the Los Angeles. Lakers and the University of Vers and a wild cat's one of the great colleges. We talked to him on the show one time. He appeared once with a very raspy, voice on the Natalie Pellamitas episode. Yes, of course. I believe he was feeding my dying body in that one. Yes.

But you're better now. It's summertime. It's the time for ice. I mean, technically, it's a time to enjoy ice cream, but it's also when ice cream melts. Isn't it? The irony. The great tale of life. The things we enjoy will eventually melt, won't they, Henry Hines and Gilly and Jacobs?

That's it. Henry Sames, but I got you. As long as you just are over to- Well, you should have made a last name that sounds. so much like Heinz. It's hard to keep it. That's on me. You're right. You should know, look up who you look like. Make sure your name's different. Go to you look like.com. Willheims will pop immediately.

I should have done it. But don't go to the mad TV version of it because they'll just tell you you look like a man. I don't know what that is. You don't know. That is where I tap out. Scott Akraman. Gillian Jacobs, you must have the famed Alex Borstein character. Oh, yes. I tell you everything you look like a man. Oh, no. You should be on mad TV, though, a reboot. Give it to Gillie. Give it to Gilly. You'd be great on Mad TV.

You keep in track of this Gilly and we're knee-deep inside some mad TV records. Man, if I could just manage your career. I know I talked to your manager earlier. She wanted me to talk about this podcast. Period. Talks. Yeah, I'm focused on film and television here. Don't you know podcasting's where it's at, Scott Ackerman? That's a good point.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the easy platform that helps you build a website. You don't need to know how to code. They have easy-used templates. and if you go to squarespace.com slash. Oh, she knows it all by heart. CBB, you can get a one-time 10% discount. That's SquareScase, Gascop.

Slash. Boy, you really ran out of it. And bricked right at the end with an airball. We all saw her going down court for the slam. We were like, put it down. Put it down. That's someone who doesn't hit the plus 15 button when the ads come on, and then she bricked it right at the end.

But it was a wonderful effort, Gilead Jones. I loved watching it. Thank you. Anyway, summertime. Summer, Summer. So, Grateful Dead, ice cream. Are you here to promote summertime and just make people appreciate it? I'm here for the love, baby, but I'm here because...

Love on Netflix. And love spells. Oh, if I could have a spell that would make my brain have never seen love on Netflix so I could watch it for the first time again, I'd be in heaven. Henry... To experience that, although your brain does tend to forget things. after about a year or so, you could probably watch it again at this point. Yeah, like Rich Summer being on love.

Rich Summer is what we're all looking for, isn't it? Summer, summer, summer, summertime. DJ Jazzy Jeff and Will Smith. I'm the DJ, you're the rapper. I'm talking to you. That's right. I'm the rapper. My long-loss love, Anna is the...

Anna. Oops. I forget which one was right, though. Anna. Anna's right, but I said Anna. Okay, got it. What's more important is how you feel about the person, not how you remember their names.

Thank you. Thank you, Bill. Well, that's how about that. You're kind of on my side. I feel like that my emotions for her were pure and should have been appreciated. Yes, names don't matter, Mr. Will Hines. I figured this show has artists, it has Scott Ackerman. It has people who work so hard.

And I'm trying to figure out, because I'm a type A person I like to be cooking, so I don't just sit alone with whatever. Oh, well, you should see, look downstairs if you want to see BB, Big Booty. Oh, whoa. Check that shit out. That is a shelf. Oh, yeah. And an improv 101 reference.

Big Booty. Big Booty number of Bill Walton. Wow, we lost everybody. This is a retired trader. No one knows what we're talking about. While everybody out there, big booty's fun for people of all ages. Get in a circle together right now. I'll explain it quickly and easily.

The person who is in the middle is Big Boone. People who listen to podcasts are alone. They don't have friends to gather around in circles. What a way to meet people. That's true. Go up to other podcasts. Get a bunch of strangers. strangers make him get into a circle say let's play around a big booty.

Let's play a big booty together. I'm big booty. You're big booty number one. That's number two. And we repeat each other's names while clapping. But if you say it wrong, you go to the end of the line. And your big booty. This does not sound fun. Anyway, are you kidding me? I'm not getting you. So summertime. Yes. You hardworking people, how do you turn your brains off in the summer? Are you able to relax? That's a good point, Gillian. I mean, can you? It sounds like you're working all the time. You're working yourself to the bone at this point. Ask a question, why relax?

Yeah. Oh, give it to Gilly. A response to Frankie in the 80s. Uh-huh. Frankie says relax. Oh, yes. Good response. Why relax?

Frankie? Why? That's the thing. Frankie gets to say all this shit. We never get to say shit back to him. How about Frankie listen for a change? Yeah, yeah. Open your goddamn ears, Frankie.

Hey, Frankie, fuck off from comedy bang bang. That's right. But I think you got to. to relax because you got to reset. Otherwise, you'll pop. I have had Brack problems. Yes, I have issues with the early 2000 space coasts spin-up. Space Ghost Coast to Coast, one of my favorites.

And he had a spin-off show. Yes, Brack had his own show and his own album with the... Oh, I can't even remember who did the album. Oh, look, I hate to miss that reference. But Pete Smith from Space Ghost, an avid listener of this show. Shout out to him if he's listening out there in Georgia. Pete Smith threw it down one time, Big Big Ben. Space Ghost Coast to Coast, an early Eric Andre show.

There could be no Eric Andre without Space Coast, do we not agree? I loved Space Ghosts. People compared it a little more to Comedy Bang Bang, but go ahead, anyway. There could be no Comedy Bang, Bang, without Eric Andre, which was always all white. I don't know. We came out at, like, the same month.

Yes, but you saw that, and you were like, quickly, I got to get a pivot. I saw it. But, Gillian, don't you feel you need to be alone with your thoughts? You need to relax. I don't find being alone with my thoughts relaxing. Really? You need to be with other people with your thoughts Or just with other people without thoughts?

I'd prefer, okay, let's do half and half. Okay, so half a person, half a thought. Yeah. I'd love to be with half a thought if you know what I mean. Henry St. I don't. Big buddy. Oh, Henry, what do you have to say?

How about this to relax? How about a morning constitutional, Bill Walton? That's a nice walk by yourself in the morning. That's a good way to relax. And you'd get a little exercise. He would tire you out. You're very high strong. Yes, I see.

Sit in a little ball drinking coffee all day until an ex-podcast appearance. Until you're activated. So, if instead you sprung out of that ball and went for like a brisk walk, a speedwalk even, along the way. Yeah, maybe exercise. Listening to the birds absorbing the fresh air. That could be good for you, Bill Walton. You could write them a map. Yes.

I could give you a route. I can make you an individualized route with all your favorite memories. And you could start in the movie based on it. Oh, map of my heart. Give it to Gilly. Map of my heart on Netflix. Netflix. Netflix.

Netflix. Netflix. Netflix. You're a Netflix girl. I'm sorry. Billy and Jacobs is Bill Walton. Gilly is Billy. I mean, the world is ready for it.

This is here. Give it to Billy. Give it to Gillie. Give it to a great Bill Walton. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. I can't believe I'm on this walk. It's extraordinary.

Look at these birds. One of the best walks from... One of the best walks from Walton. Never. Oh, no, from a walk of life by dire straits to what's another walk? This is his whole... You guys are talking about. This is the way he talks.

I don't know. You do it. You do it. All this walk down the river, one of the great walks I've ever been on from Christopher walking down the street to a walk to remember featuring, we're told, Vincent Chase's character from Entourage, but he was cut because he creeped out. Oh, that's right. This is pre-Queen's Boulevard.

Yes, before Queensman. Before Aquaman. When he books Aquaman. the cast Who's the actress for Wander to remember join me down the weeds

I cannot remember the weeds I'm sorry Mandy Moore yes and then Mandy Moore's cast an Aquaman Wow

what a fractal of references that was Why did we watch so much of that show Bill? Oh because at the time it was wish fulfillment for men like you and me Scott Ockerman

That's right who had nothing Imagine walking down the street with you've got your own little turtle on your entourage You got your Johnny Drama and your E Of course yeah I have all of those

Paul F. Tompkins is my turtle. Yes, he's got the same addiction to marijuana and love of baggy clothes. And he fought Rhonda Rousey once. That's right. He brutalized Ronda Rousey. He destroyed her. Gillian is so confused by everything that's happening right now. Gillian, I loved the performance. If you want to package this right now, this movie on my life, I'm in.

Great. Just don't make me improvise the script, because I haven't nailed your voice yet. The voice you get down. Will you nail it by the time you start filming? Let's, okay, give me something else. Okay. What a walk to remember from... That's the same thing. Christopher.

All right, all right. Give me something else. So you want a script. You don't want to have to everybody. Well, yeah, give me another scenario. This movie, this movie's going to be great. It'll be one of the best movies from... One of the best movies from movie phone to move it and groove it.

God, this is a... That's not bad. Don't show people how easy what I do is when you actually break it down. If everyone just realize it's deepening your voice and then following your brain down whatever road it takes you, they will get very bored very quickly. This is good, though. I'm willing to finance this whole thing. I'll deficit finance it, definitely.

What does that mean? Oh! She's already in character. Throw in town town. Oh, my God. You can't also do it, Henry, because people are really going to start to see how easy it is. Please. No problem.

I won't do it. This is great, man. We are putting together deals. This is like an episode of Entourage right here. I feel like I'm Vincent Chase sitting in the room with Ari Gold and the head of WB who hates me but still needs me to work with him. Yeah, he needs content, of course. I'm losing it a little bit.

Yeah, I get it. Before you lose it completely, we are running out of time. I'm sorry, but we're going to have to bring all of this to a close if that's okay. Is that all right with you, Bill? Well, it's the metaphor of the ice cream melting it again. We're always running out of time. That is true. But before we do that, I do think that we should say that there is one final feature on the show,

and that is a little something called plugs. All right. Plugs are a great way to get to know you. Share a plug and make a friend. Now that we're friends. Oh, what? Was there more? Keep going.

We're fine. Was there more? How much more? How much more? A little time. Let's hear it. All right. Let's hear a little bit more.

Pwise. Worth it. Worth it. Worth it. That was Friends Help Friends by Todd Fronauer. Todd Fronauer, thank you so much for that. And guys, what do we plug in? Gilly, you have a lot on your plate at this point.

We have the Bill Walton. Is that what it's called the Bill Walton's story? The Bill, I'm open to whatever the studio wants. Walton walking. The Walton walking two hours of Gillian has me walking down the street. Singing to a diddy-d-d-d-dum-d-d-d-do-do-do-do. So obviously that's coming up. We have the hashtag give it to gilly.

No, we go. Remember, we're going to. Well, we'll rethink it. Give it. Give it. I think it may have already. Don't give it to Gilly. But we have, we also have Fear Street all of those years.

Watch them in order. And with the dear late lamented R.L. Stein wrote these. My love. He is, of course, gone, but not forgotten. Yes. My true love. Yeah. Oh, yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes, that's right. Periodic talks. Periodic talks. Periodic talks. Every Tuesday. On the Stitcher Network.

That's right. Anything else in the works? Can we talk about? I mean, I mean, that's enough. Honestly, you have so much going. You have more than the average human being. Thank you, Scott. You know what I mean?

You're a very successful person. Do you feel that way? You should. I don't. I know it's hard, but, you know, we all feel like, God, if only I had what this person had. Walton. Yeah, Bill Walton. You don't want this, baby.

You seem quite content. Oh, I'm happy as a clam. One of the great clams. One of the great clams in history. For Clamato, too. Oh, yes. Throw it down one time for helping me out of a rat Gillian Jacobs. Oh, my God.

Oh, in love. We should talk about love. Love on Netflix, all three seasons of love. Great show. Stick around. You'll see Rich Summer. That's right. Oh, I remember the billboards.

Stick around, you'll see Rich Summer. He paid for those, didn't he? I've known some way the way. Previous guest on this show, Mike Mitchell was also in that show. The Darling Deer. Yes. And previous guest, Claudia. Claudia, Darnie, genius.

I've had the entire cast on this show. Everyone should watch that show. All right. Turning to Henry Sames, what do you want to plug here? I'd like to plug a podcast my friend Will Hines does called... Wait, he's a friend of mine. He's a friend of mine. You're like you say that.

I never, I don't know. I should have brought it up. I looked just like him. I don't know. I'm so embarrassed. I can't but seeing you two hanging out together would be my damn's dream, Henry. Are you? just his mirror image?

I kind of when I look at him I'm like, we, is he doing the exact same thing you're doing? A lot of times we're linked physically.

I think you're from the mirror world. Oh, I'm from the mirror world? Yeah, or he is. I don't know. I'd rather be. Yeah, interesting. So what's his podcast?

His podcast is called Screwed, we're just going to talk about comics. Oh, wait, I've been on that show. You have been a guest. She should get twice. She knows the bare minimum

about Power Pack. Yes. Oh, oh, that, not stand-up, comics. No, no. Yes, it's comic books. Oh, yes.

PowerPacks, one of my co-hosts and my favorites. Oh, well, Franklin Richards, Title Taylor. Yes. Yes.

That's a great show. You talk about, or not you. Not me. My mirror's self. Yeah. They talk about comics and specific issues.

I was on there a few weeks back talking about a certain episode of friendly, not episode, but issue of friendly neighborhood Spider-Man written by Tom Taylor. We've had some great guests. They had some Jordan White and Tom Breivor.

You're just, you're Will Hines. Aren't you? So I am. So I am. So what? What thing? Third act reveal!

Twist! What a twist? What are my characters got voted off this show last time? And I've been out of ideas ever since. I got nothing. It's stressful being on this show. It's stressful? Yeah.

Just because we shout all the time? No, I'm funny anymore. And then I'm excited. I'm tired. Will Hides, you're hilarious. What are you talking about? Bill, you have no idea. Will Hides, I've seen I was in

the front row of every smokes show from 2016 to 2020. So deep reference. Losing everybody. I would go to Citywalk just to see if the smokes were there to go eat at Carl Strauss restaurant and breweries. No longer there. RIP, just like R.L. Stein. I am heartbroken about both. Accurate inside baseball reference to my improv.

The saddle ranch is gone, too. Anyway, we'll talk about this. Now people just ride me around. Bill, what do you want to plug? Well, I guess. Scott, I would rather swim in a vat of acid if I had to choose between the two. No, we're not doing, would you rather? Oh, it's shocks I misunderstood.

No, that was from the earlier years of the show. We play it every week, obviously, but... I would like to plug, you're the man now, dog, an improv and conversation podcast, and big grande website.com, a place where you can get... I'm really uploading my peas here. Yeah, that's all right. We're set up to handle that. Go ahead.

Punderful. Punderful. A place where you can get podcasts from the group. Big God. Grandet. Big Grande, Bigrande, website.com, great group. People should check that. I, you know, the only thing I have to plug is...

Oh, we're out of time. Oh, okay. Let's close up the old plug bag. Open that shit. Oh. Open that shit. Okay. I'm two for two in coming in early on these songs.

That was, uh, and being two for two in basketball. That's great. That's one of the best things you could do, Scott. I mean, you want to take more shots. than that usually, but I mean, if... But as a free... Coming off the bench? Two for two is great.

Elliot Jacobs with some understanding of the rules of basketball. Throw it down. That was open that shit by Bez. Thank you, but I wonder if that was Bez from Happy Mondays. Boy, what if he had made that? I don't know who that is. Okay, well, you can't know everything, Bill,

although you certainly try. Oh, wait, I have one more thing. Should we leave with a little message to Anna Beeb? I just feel like we kind of messed it up. Like Henry, is there any? anything you want to say if she's listening. I miss you, come back. You're the one for me.

It's been a great three weeks. Let's keep it going. Let's make it a solid month, baby. Sell yourself. Sell yourself. Nobody's a exaggerating saying three weeks. Nobody has a better understanding of scale. Nobody's more devoted to the integrity of facts and representation.

He'll get there. He'll get there. Five more minutes. God, sweetheart. Come back to me. Five more minutes. Five more minutes. God, timid.

Hello. What? R. L. Stein! Are you the ghost of R.L. Stein? I am zombie R. L. Stein. We're saying no. You're saying Stein. When I say no, you say Stein, no. Stein. Stein! Stein! Oh, no. I still love you, Stein. Oh, I come to your house. Give me Ed. I don't know what the words are.

You know, Road? Oh, yeah. 100 Mill Plain Road, Denver, Connecticut. Come on by. Mill plate, road. You walked over from 1666 Fear Street? Oh, go. All right. We'll see you next time. Bye.