Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Jason Mantzoukas, Manchester Orchestra, Andy Daly, Paul F. Tompkins, Jessica McKenna, Tim Baltz, Lily Sullivan, Shaun Diston, Jon Gabrus, Carl Tart, Dan Lippert, Ego Nwodim (The 12th Anniversary Show!)

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

In honor of CBB's upcoming 16th anniversary, we are re-releasing a few of our favorite anniversary specials. This week, it's "The 12th Anniversary Show!" originally episode #704 released May 2nd, 2021. Scott celebrates the 12th Anniversary of Comedy Bang! Bang! with co-host Jason Mantzoukas, music by Manchester Orchestra, fan favorites, plus newcomers! Special guests dropping by include Byron Denniston, The Griz, Margery Kershaw, Randy Snutz & off-and-on girlfriend Carissa, Sprague the Whisperer, intern Gino Lombardo, Charles Barkley, Rabbi Bill Walton, and Charlotte Hornette. Thanks for listening to CBB for all these years! Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

Hey everyone, my name is Scott Aukerman and welcome back for another Bonus Bang. Bonus Bangs being, of course, previously recorded episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that we're re-releasing out from behind the paywall. And we are currently in the middle of giving you some great anniversary episodes from our past to celebrate Comedy Bang Bang's upcoming 16th anniversary. And this one was released on May 2nd, 2021, and it's originally episode number 704 and titled The 12th Anniversary Show. So this features Andy Daly as Byron Denniston and Dalton Wilcox, Jessica McKenna as Marjorie Kershaw,

Tim Balz as Randy Snuts. Lily Sullivan as Carissa. Sean Distin as Sprague the Whisperer. John Gabras as Gino Lombardo. Carl Tartt as Charles Barkley. Dan Lippert as Bill Walton. Ega Wodham as Charlotte Hornet. And Jason Manzoukas as Jason Manzoukas.

And an extra special treat is there's music from Manchester Orchestra. And even more special than that, this is the first appearance of The Grizz played by Paul F. Tompkins. Now, we talked about this on the Best Ofs, but Paul came in originally going to do another character. And when Jason and Andy and I were talking about, you'll hear it, we suddenly

found out about the existence of a person named The Grizz. Paul stepped in as The Grizz and the rest is history. So if you enjoy this and you want more Comedy Bang Bang, become a subscriber at CBBworld.com. You get every single episode ad free, as well as every episode we've ever recorded, and all live episodes. A lot of great exclusive shows, like The Neighborhood Listen, Scott Hasn't Seen, CBB Presents. We're gonna have a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang on Monday,

but until then, enjoy this bonus bang! Make peace with the fish and she'll grant you a wish. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Mmm. I like the concept of that, that people out there have beef with fishes or fish with beefers. Beefers? Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. Thank you to Teenage Grave Robber for that catchphrase submission. Teenage Grave Robber, thank you so much. And what a week it is. My name is Scott Aukerman and an incredible

achievement we have unlocked for this podcast. We are, this is our 12th anniversary. We are, I think last week I said we were closing out our 11th year. No, we have closed out our 12th year, and this is the first episode of our 13th year, AKA the 12th anniversary. Wow. So, yes. So welcome to the show. Breaking off another 13. Well, we're breaking off our second 12th.

12th. I don't know. We're in the middle, of course, of our eighth hundo as we broke off another one a couple episodes ago with our friend who's here. We have plenty of friends from the show returning all throughout this episode, plus some other stuff, but I want to introduce him first. He, of course, is the Dink Dink Man. He is the Hanong Man himself. You know him from The Dictator and only from The Dictator. Single credit. Single credit guest here.

Please welcome back to the show Jason Mantzoukas. Yeah. Happy anniversary, Scott. Wow. Thank you so much. Who would have thought? Who would have ever thought back in 2009 that this would continue past three weeks, let alone 12 years. That this scrappy little art upstart that was that was being broadcast 2009, that this would continue past three weeks, let alone 12 years. This scrappy little upstart that was being broadcast out of a radio station would turn into this.

We're now in each other's closets. Would turn into us locked in our closets, terrified to see and touch each other. Jason, thank you so much for being back here on our 12th anniversary episode. Of course, we covered everything there is to cover the last time you were on a mere four episodes or so ago. You know what I was very grateful for? I heard from a lot of people after the last episode that said thank you for not talking about comic books. Yes, a lot of it, they were so relieved. They were so grateful that we mentioned it,

but that we were not, we told them, we're not gonna get into this because even though- People were so relieved about that fact, because we could talk about them for hours. Oh my God. We could talk about them in a private setting, in a professional setting. The recent Moon Knight run, that'll most likely be the basis for the Oscar Isaac TV show.

Sure, of course we read that and discussed it for hours. We could talk about comics as they relate to also the pop culture that we're digesting, right? Oh, of course we could, but we don't want to do it on Comedy Bang Bang. We don't want that. We hate it, in fact. We hate the concept of it, So thank you for not doing it.

I'm embarrassed that it even came up on this episode. So thank you for bringing it up so that we can abruptly move on from it. Yes, thank you. How are you doing? How do you feel at like closing out 12 years of this? Like you're entering what is commonly known as your baker's dozen year.

My bacon dozen year. Your baker's dozen. Like a baker's dozen is 13. 12 pieces of bacon before every episode. Yep. Your bacon's dozen. You know, I never thought I would get past 10, honestly, because I don't think I've ever done anything in my life

that has exceeded 10 years. So. How long have you been married? Oh, that's right. because I don't think I've ever done anything in my life that has exceeded 10 years, so... How long have you been married? Oh, that's right. Never mind. No, I think that's been 12 as well. I think we did... Did you start both?

Not start, yeah, I guess you started a marriage. You could say you started a marriage. But did you guys get married the same year that you started Bang Bang? Or within the... We did in the same 12 month period, but not married the same year that you started Bang Bang? Or within the- We did, in the same 12 month period. But not in the same calendar year. But yeah, we got married a few months before this started.

So really the best times of my life have been Wow. You really peaked. Doing the show and married to the widow. You really peaked 12 years ago. Peaked? I think the show's gotten better and better, but who knows? Read the boards.

Uh oh. Tread the boards. Add a, but who knows read the boards. Oh Tread the boards That read the board and you got something the immortal bard, but Jason we have to introduce please some Very important guests here. They are providing musical accompaniment to the episode They were on the show four years ago, I can't believe it was that long ago, but they were on four years ago promoting their previous album and they are back this week promoting their album which just came out Friday. That's, that is, they made it, they made it a point to make this the hub and the centerpiece of their promotional appearances,

if you can believe it. Wow. They are here promoting their new record, The Million Masks of God. Please welcome back to the show, Andy and Robert, that's right, Manchester Orchestra is here. Nice. Thank you so much for having us.

It is our pleasure, a big fan of course. Lovely to meet you both. Did you guys time the release of this new record? We did. To the 12th anniversary? To the 12th anniversary. We did. It's been ready for years, but 12 was specific.

We wanted to wait a few. It feels particularly advantageous to do it now because you're going to promote on this episode, which is going to be probably the biggest episode of the year. Biggest episode of the year undoubtedly yes. And could be very potentially be you know the biggest accolade for us of the year so yeah it's a win-win. Well you know you talk about this being a big accolade and yet Andy I go to your Wikipedia page which is of course my primary resource for all research on this podcast and I see a little section by the name of appearances in other media and I start salivating because I know a comedy bang bang reference is nigh and

we have television performances late night late or late show with David Letterman, late night Conan O'Brien, etc., etc. Television episodes where you're not even in them, but your songs are just played on them. Movies, video games, not a mention of comedy bang bang anywhere on the page. What do you say to that? I'm going to have to tell my mom who edits that page that she needs to kind of get her facts right and we'll take it from there This is some gotcha journalism The only reason I want you back I mean I like music and everything but very Fox News of you This is very like lore them in and then be like now am I to believe?

No, I am very happy to have you back, but you know hey all you Wikipedia Not sleuths necessarily, but all of you Wikipedia bandits out there who like leaving stuff I guess bandits take stuff Wikipedia bandit would be more like someone who edits things out of pages wouldn't't they? I would think so. They would steal the information from the page. And not make it publicly available anymore. I mean, they might fence it to another page. They might, like, sell it. They might sell that information to another page.

Andy, Robert, what if you were to make your Wikipedia page? What if your mom were to edit onto the page in its own section a comedy bang bang appearance and then make that an NFT. Oh, now we're talking. Oh, I'd love to get into NFTs and what they are. Like how, should we be monetizing this episode right now as an NFT?

Yes, I think every episode should be an NFT. I think, didn't Kings of Leon make their recent band an NFT? They made the band an NFT. It's an actual band. They made the actual band. And there's now an NFT. They made the band an NFT. It's no longer a band. The actual band. And it is now an NFT. Yeah, it's insane. I think they had that sex that they did that was on fire. That's an NFT now. You're saying KOL are an NFT? No longer a band. He heard it here first.

Well, guys, welcome back to the show. And you're going to be playing songs from your new record Well, guys, welcome back to the show. And you're going to be playing songs from your new record all throughout the show. And the million masks of God, tell us a little bit about the record. I mean, this is a weird time to be releasing a record. You can't go out on tour, right? Yeah, it is a bit weird.

I mean, I feel fortunate that we've been able to wait a little bit. I feel bad for the artists that released things last year and had no way to perform them at all. Don't feel bad for the artists that released things last year and had no way to perform them at all. Don't feel bad for Haim. I saw him on the Grammys. Isn't that the name of a song you're working on? Don't feel bad for Haim.

Yeah, it's a bit strange, but at a certain point, we finished this album right before everything locked down and we were able to spend a really long time mixing it because everything was in lockdown. And so you've been sitting on this for a year, which by the way, is a song that Jason's been writing as well. Yeah, I've been sitting on this for a year. Yes, in a way we have. So luckily, we still really like it. Every time we kind of listen to it every few months, we'd go like, Oh, right, This is still good. So that was a good sign. We didn't want to tinker with it anymore. This is a hardcore Scott album, right?

Yes. Yes. At its core, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Of course, it came out on Friday. And so I've listened to it.

It's about an hour. So I've listened to it about 72 times since Friday. So that's incredible. Wow. Just on repeat or? Yeah, just have it on a loop. No sleep all night? No sleep, of course not. Who needs to sleep with a new Manchester Orchestra album?

Thank you, man. That's nice to hear. It is quite an accomplishment, and I'm glad you guys still like it because I love it. And you're going to be playing songs from it here throughout the show. And it's just the two of you, it's not the full band, but you guys are in your studio here. You have, it looks to be like four guitars

up there on the walls. Yeah, these are the four we own. You only own four guitars? You guys are a professional band. But they're great guitars, you know? Okay, well, if you got four that work, that's all you need. If you've got the right,

it looks like you've got one acoustic guitar, perfect for all the acoustic songs. Yeah. Unfortunately, we have two basses up there, which is a horrible investment. Oh, man. So you have it. It looks to be you have 20 strings up there on the wall. Let's see. It'd be 24, wouldn't it? Six. Oh, no. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Two basses. Two basses.

My goodness. Well, that's all you need. I mean, as they said on the Oscars, by the way, Jason, were you excited for those Oscars a week ago? Oh boy. You know, I'm going to be honest. I didn't watch a frame of it. Well, there was about 30 per second, my dear boy. You could have watched them all. As each frame was going past, I didn't watch it.

So it was on? You just had your back to it? I didn't watch it. For the first time, I did not tune in to it. I wasn't interested at all. Well, you know, you know, when the dictator got snubbed, I'm sure it was personal for you. Oh, sure. They they'll honor Borat too. But how about the dictator? Full snub job.

Dictator one, of course. Now, I mean, the dictator one when we were when we came out. Yeah, total snub job dictator one, of course now I mean the dictator one when we were when we came out Yeah, total snub job, which you know, well, I was glad to receive always want to receive a slug job Truly one of Oscars most infamous flubs and snubs Absolutely But why were we talking about the Oscars? You asked me if I enjoyed them last but what happened before that? I don't remember we were talking about the Oscars? You asked me if I enjoyed them last week. Yeah, but what happened before that? I don't remember.

We were talking about the number of strings on your guitars and stuff. We went from 20 strings to the Oscars. Were you thinking maybe violins during the Oscars? Oh, no. I was thinking of those 12 notes that Mozart had and that John Battista has. Yes, you have eight more strings than notes.

So you guys are in pole position. Nothing to say about that? All right. Not a thing, nope, nope, nothing. I'm curious now as you guys are putting this record out, are you thinking of or planning on touring? Is this a now starting to become a reality for you again? Did you have a tour planned that you postponed

or are you scheduling one now? We've had numerous stores booked and canceled just trying to get ahead of everything. And we have a tour that hopefully if people continue to get vaccinated and we can tour safely, we will, but we're not gonna announce it until we know we can. Until every other band has announced one.

So we're not the first one. Oh, wow. Well, you guys don't, yeah, of course. It's gotta be safe out there and you guys are keeping your fans safe. And that's the one thing that I've always felt listening to all of your records is I feel safe when I thank you. That's exactly what a rock band wants to hear.

It's just a level of safe, this non-edgyness. I have another I have another question, Scott. Will you read the name, the title of the album again, please? The title of the album is The Million Masks of God. Now, is that a direct related, do you guys believe that God should, has been wearing a COVID mask for the last year? Is this a- Oh, yeah.

Are these the- Has he been wearing a million of them? I mean, we've all been double masking. Are these KN95 masks that God is wearing? We feel so strongly that whatever type of virus God could contain, he would need a million masks in order to do. He created it, though. Like, I don't know. He's a weirdo.

It's complicated. That's what the album's about, you know? He's just a strange guy. Really a strange guy. He splits himself into three with like his son and then a ghost. Like, he's a little bit of an oddball. I think, yeah, I think that was Halloween. I think that was just a Halloween. He just had a crazy Halloween one year.

He's like, I've got such a good costume this year. I'm gonna split myself in three. I'm my son and a ghost. I'm a ghost, so spooky, but I'm also my own son. God, God. Suddenly, the mushroom is here. Andy's sexy. I'm gonna be a sexy my son.

Did you just say Andy's sexy? I think you would appreciate that. Andy, you know what, Andy, you're very sexy. And Robert as well. Okay. Yes. All right, well guys, so great to have you on. We'll be playing three stripped down versions

of the songs on the new record. And those are the versions for strippers? Yes. Totally, yeah. We try and just kind of cover every market when we songs on the new record. The million masks have done. And those are the versions for strippers? Yes. That's what we, yeah, we try and just kind of cover every market when we're putting on a record. You have safe, non-edgy songs for strippers. That's exactly right.

That's going on the next pressing of the vinyl, you know? All right, guys, great to have you. We do need to get to our, I consider- And again, the name of the album is God Wears His Mask Over His Chin Not His Mouth. Again a strange guy. We do need to get to our first guest and I consider him to be our first guest as you are our musical accompanist and Jason you have strong co-host energy but now this is interesting Jason when you were on a few episodes ago when we closed out that hundo,

closed out our seventh hundo, we had this guest on and then we had, let's just say a plan formed on this episode and then something happened that week and we wanted to talk to him about it. So please welcome back to the show, he's a royal watcher, please welcome back Byron Deniston. Hello. Hello, hello lads, how are you? Am I coming in clearly from London? All the way from London? You certainly are from London and you are coming in clearly. Coming in clearly over the hour waves. You remember Jason, of course. Of course, yes. Hello Jason. Great to see you again Byron. Great to see you. Thank you so much for making time to join us again. And this is Robert and Andy from Manchester Orchestra.

Manchester is famously a city in England. From Manchester, England, I suppose. Atlanta, Georgia, but very close. I don't understand. It's just a hop, skip, and a jump across the pond. Manchester, England, the site of an incredibly vibrant movie, I mean, music scene, you know, the Happy Mondays, Joy Division, like that whole.

Are you on a Wikipedia page right now? What is going on? No, I'm just saying like the movie 24 hour party people is basically about the Manchester. Sure, and Manchester by the Sea, another rocking vibrant movie that has a lot of energy. Yes, but that's about Manchester in Massachusetts. Of course.

But be not confused, they are a band from the states here, so I apologize for that. Well, I can't help but be confused, and there's really nothing you can do to clear it up. I beg your pardon. But you know what, I do want to clear up, Byron, which you were on the show, you were on our 700th episode with Jason and I, and we were talking about a plan

that we were going to enact that week regarding, of course, what was the plan that the Royals had? Formula One, what was it? It was not called Formula One, no. It was something Plan One. Formula One funny cars? Plan One the Groucho Gang? Was that not it? That wasn't it, what was it Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, Plan 1, when we're done with this episode, will you send it to me so that I can ask you to edit out?

Because I'm just going to tell you what happened, but there are parts where... Yeah, yeah, we'll edit everything out, don't worry. Yes, the public should not know, but I'd like, I want, you know, we should talk about it. Yes, we should, yes. So this is on the DL, let's talk about what actually happened. Absolutely. So as people will no doubt remember... Should I stop recording? Uh, yeah, do the opposite of Hit Record Joe. Great.

Stop record Jason. So as of the last episode, I was- Does that make it into the episode, that joke? I don't know. I don't know. Who knows, but this will not. This will not, okay. Well, some of it will and some of it won't.

That's the point, I don't wish to edit myself as I go. So Byron, if you don't mind, you just tell me when to hit record again, and I'll hit record again. No, I don't know if I can do that. It's too complicated. Just keep recording. We'll edit it out. I'm sorry.

We'll redact it. Yeah, we'll redact it. Whatever words you need to redact it, whatever you need. So this will be the 12th anniversary episode redacted version. Yes, redacted version. Precisely, and let's just say that- And I will not forget, I will not forget to redact it. Don't forget, and the full audio will not come out

until 50 years after all of us have died. Oh wow, is this gonna be like a time capsule? Yes, it's like that. Who's gonna be keeping track of when all of us die? It's not that hard, it's really 50 years after the last one of us died. Okay, could it be the first one? I mean, no. I feel like somehow Sprague the Whisperer

is going to be keeping track of all of those details. Yeah, that's true. He seems to be in charge of like a lot of that information. All of the canon, yeah, of course. All of the canon. All right, so hit us. What happened that week? So, as people will remember, I was

getting into prosthetic makeup every day to pose as Prince Philip in his final days and lurking around Buckingham Palace, getting scoops and whatnot. And I had learned that there was going to be a launch into space of all of Europe's royals and an explosion of Earth by way of nuclear missiles to coincide

with Tina Turner's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which would in fact become Sean Arnau's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because Sean Arnau would have taken the stage. And that was coincidental, the Sean Arnau and Tina Turner of it all, I believe. The plan was going to be enacted that week regardless,

because the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is still a few weeks away, I believe. I think one was caused by the other, but regardless. Let's just say that the connections might have been tenuous, but they're there. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, they're there if you look for them, definitely. Yes, yes.

But then we determined that for me to earn a spot on the spaceship with the royals, it would be taking off, I would need to marry a royal, and I set my sights upon, well, it hardly matters, but the point became what then to do with Prince Philip? You know? And so- A person who you had already been impersonating.

And is- Successfully. Whom you had disposed of many months prior. Well, yes, and this is one of the things you laid it out, I'm sure, that I had murdered Prince Philip several months before and dismembered him, and he's been dead for quite a while, and of course, put his eyes to good use. Sure, but strewn the rest of his body across the four corners of the globe.

Yes, never, never, you'd never find him, I thought. Well, of course, I kept track of where all of his parts were. You'll hear that. Yes, that plays into it. But all right. So what we decided to do, we formulated a plan. It was mostly Jason's idea of the Scrooge bit. But the idea was, Jason was really into the Scrooge game. I was not into the Scrooge.

That was the one part I didn't like. But go ahead. Well, it came off great, I have to say. But go ahead. Yes, nearly perfectly. The idea was that a bunch of bank robbers were going to hit, we settled on Lloyd's Bank, ultimately, near the Bow's Cathedral.

Lloyd's of London. Bank robbers dressed as the characters from A Christmas Carol would descend upon the bank which has a safety deposit box which would be filled with frozen eyes, which would then be spilled out onto the street as the robbers made their escape and they're heavily armed and then there would be an intervention by Prince Philip, which would really be me in prosthetic makeup. He would be the hero of the day. He would foil the bank robbery

and then get just blasted in the face with one of the robbers' shotguns. Well, not in the face because it was going to be squibs under the clothes. Well, we would have the squibs, but we felt like we needed to do it on the face in order to hide the fact that you had to switch a body and that was not the real Prince Philip.

I know, I know. Well, this is where things got very complicated. So this is where? Yes. Dalton Wilcox had provided us with another body, which was covered in the same prosthetics and going to be in the same clothes, and there was going to be a body switch at the last moment.

That body was going to be in the same clothes, and there was going to be a body switch at the last moment, that body was going to be buried as Prince Philip while I made my way out of the scene. This is, we missed a real opportunity. I apologize, Byron, to say prior to just exactly what you're doing previously on Comedy Game. That's right. Well, if only Sprague were here to do that. I know, he would have cut together a previously on.

So this is, for anybody listening, these are the events of episode 700. Yes, to the best of my recollection. But here's where things went, gentlemen, I'm afraid, off the rails. They went pear-shaped. Yes, exactly. The person who we had hired to play Scrooge in the gang

simply didn't show up. But it was fine. We went ahead with it anyway. Not realizing. We waited for like five whole minutes. Well, yes. And he didn't show up. And I had argued for giving him

the more traditional 15 minute grace. But a bank robbery is a more precise thing. In show business, you have to be five minutes early. And that means on time. So the fact that he was five minutes early, and that means on time. So the fact that you're five minutes late, we just walked away. I have a question, Byron. In setting this up, did you hire bank robbers so as to make the bank robbery feel real,

or did you hire actors to play bank robbers? Jason, were you not paying attention this whole time? I wasn't. I forgot. What did we do? We were there every day of this. We were? We were part of it? I so forgot.

We wrote the script right after the episode. Oh, right. I'm so sorry. Damn it. Cut that out. Cut that out, Devin. I'm not gonna redact. You just being stupid.

Redact, I demand, the rule is, if you say, I want it redacted, it has to be redacted. If you want it redacted, it has to be redacted. If you want it redacted, it has to be enacted. Yes, and so I'm enacting redacting. Well, anyway, it was a bunch of actors who had starred in the production of The Christmas Carol. And we had got this great guy for The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, who all he had to do, you know, in A Christmas Carol,

all he does is point at a grave. He's wearing big long robes. All he had to do was just show the teller the note. He didn't have to say anything. But somehow we got this chatty-catty, chatty-catty, chatty-catty actor out there who wanted to like beef up his role or something. It was crazy. Well, and of course they did not realize that they were going to be shot for real by me Well that was, we didn't tell them. dressed as Prince Philip. And so that ended up being really rather than a shame.

They kept saying like, hey, where are my squibs? I see Prince Philip has squibs, where are my squibs? And we kept saying like, eh, don't worry about it. We also told them that the police that were showing up were also actors. Sure, yeah. And everyone in the bank was an actor. So that they would be totally safe

and they should feel free to talk. We had told them actually that we had built an 11 to 10 scale Lloyd's bank around the real bank. So the whole thing was a set. So it may be that the Scrooge fellow was suspicious of some of that and therefore did not show up. Can we just say who he was? It was Patrick Stewart. Yes, all right, good. We can say that.

We were going to kill Patrick Stewart. Yes, the plan was to kill Patrick Stewart and everyone else who starred with him. That didn't start out as the plan. The plan was to get the public to believe that Prince Philip had been killed foiling a bank robbery. That was just a side benefit. The benefit on the other side of it was that we could get rid of Picard. Sure. Right, that was just incidental.

But as it turns out, gentlemen, because there was no Scrooge in the Scrooge gang, when the police got to the scene, they saw the dead body of what was meant to be Prince Philip, this body that Dalton Wilcox had arranged. With the prosthetics. Yes, yes, yes. And they assumed that this was the Scrooge and that this was a bad guy. And then when they determined it was Prince Philip, there was this terrible panic inside Buckingham Palace that Prince Philip had joined a bank robbing squad as Scrooge to the Scrooge gang.

Now it didn't help that he was wearing like one of those night caps that Scrooge has when he throws open the windows and goes down. That was the real blunder. Yeah. Well because we had thought that perhaps Prince Philip would have heard the gunshots and jumped out of his bed and all that. We thought that made it more heroic that he like jumped out of bed just to go go down to this bank. Just to go foil this bank robbery. Yes. But instead it looked like he was, if anything, the ringleader, which is a very compelling narrative, I'm sure,

that the tabloids picked up with and ran with. I mean, the thing. We've never seen anything like it in London. This was the greatest clamping down of a news story you have ever seen in England. You've never seen such message discipline on the part of the Royals or such cooperation on the part of the reporters.

Anyone who came within a mile of it was threatened with their lives and ran away. Probably a kilometer. Within a kilometer, yeah away. Probably a kilometer. Within a kilometer, yes. Within a kilometer. Which is how you would say it. That's so polite of you to translate it in the Niles for us. You don't have to say it for our sake. No, I assume that Americans are far too stupid to even understand that word and that it is a unit of measurement.

This was the biggest clampdown on a news story since Princess Di was abducted by aliens, wasn't it? Yes, exactly, exactly. And even bigger, because apparently you've heard of that. Well, sure. Piers Morgan told me. I mean, I think the Clash wrote a song about it. Yeah, about the clampdown. About the clampdown.

Oh, well anyway. And also I thought the law was vaguely about it. Tangentially. Yep, yep. Absolutely. And London calling because, yeah, they had to. There's a lot of calling in the city of London. Long distance calls are very expensive. That whole song is just about the long distance rates.

Yes. To space. Space, yes. Well, they put out Buckingham Palace, put out the story that Prince Philip had died peacefully surrounded by family and of course that's what everyone thinks happened. And I'm furious because all of our wonderful efforts have gone to naught. They've been sort of sewn up tight by the palace. Well it was unfortunate because we had an airtight plan and we had the branding of the Scrooge Gang

that was gonna be just, you know, dynamite and take over the world. And it was, it's unfortunate. It's unfortunate it went down like this. Well, this also really inter, like completely interrupts your entire plan to get on that spaceship to escape Earth. Were you able to go to the funeral though

and cozy up to one of the royals? Well, the funeral itself was a rather small affair, but there was an after-funeral party, which was very, it was huge. Was that in the hotel lobby? It was in the lobby of Windsor Castle, yes, and it was really, it was like a three-day bacchanal. But here's where things get only more complicated. Okay.

If you'll remember, Lady Amelia Spencer, right? She is single. Right, single, ready to mingle with- Is she the one that's engaged to the Grizz? Yes. Okay. Well, this is what, when I asked Dalton Wilcox, where did you get the body to swap?

He said, this is the Grizz. What? Yes, Dalton Wilcox, where did you get the body to swap? He said, this is the gris. What? Yes. Dalton Wilcox and this is one of his of his own volition. Well, he he came to feel that this was a Dr. Mallet, Mr. Grizzle scenario. Right. That's right. And and so that's right. And it was he was duty bound to kill a monster. Yes, yes.

And so he's shot the gris through the heart with a silver bullet. And just to be safe, also shot up in the left thigh because sometimes people's hearts are in their throats. Yeah, people's hearts can be moved. Yes. Wow. So Grizz is gone. So Lady, what's her name? Amelia Spencer. Amelia Spencer. She's I mean, the Grizz has dropped off her radar. So maybe she's ready to party.

The Grizz is buried in Prince Philip's grave. Wow. Covered in prosthetic makeups. Whoa. Yes. That's what's going on. Crazy. So how does this affect plan one and you getting up there?

Well now, how it affects it is that I, now, am trying my best to woo Lady Amelia Spencer and to become her new husband. Well, it's been difficult because she doesn't accept that the Grizz has gone. She says, oh, no, that's just the Grizz. He disappears for a while, you know. He goes off the Grizz.

Yeah, he's that kind of guy. The Gri He goes off the gris. Yeah, he's that kind of guy. The gris goes off the gris. This is typical gris biz. Right, so she's, you know, I mean, all of my sort of- There's no grisness like show grisness. Sure. So she's not receptive to your charms as of yet. No, she keeps saying, I'm engaged, I'm engaged.

Well, what would the Grizz say and all this? And I... Of course, I have this inside information that he's been buried, he's dead and buried. At what point do you just drop this information in her lap and say, look, I know what's really going on and I'm your best bet right now? That's what I'm trying to figure out at some point, yes. Just take her aside and say, listen, your fiancée has some point. Yes, just take her aside and say listen your fiance has been murdered

Don't just take her aside take her to the grave itself and exhume the body and take off the prosthetics and show her You might have to show her. Don't just tell show I have to bring along some alcohol swabs to get the prosthetics over That's probably the least of your concerns with exhuming the whole body Not at all Can you imagine? And also prepare her tell her there's gonna be quite a lot of spirit gum you're gonna see. Yes, yes, yes. And don't worry, we're gonna be able to take that off

and you'll see the gris underneath. Can you imagine going through all the effort of exhuming a body and digging it up and then being unable to take the prosthetics off and prove what you wish to prove because you didn't bring along alcohol to get through the spirit gum? Well, if you could, perhaps,

you could bring like a thermos of drinks, like a slow gin Fizz Grizz, Sure. which you could be drinking while you're exhuming the grave, you know? Oh yes, there would be drinks involved, yeah. This is a nice little date, you know, out there in the cemetery.

This could be romantic. Yeah. I suppose so. And prompt some closure for her, and then, boom, you're right there to be the shoulder she cries on. Next thing you know, you're in outer space. Yes. Yes. Which is the end game, right? Being in outer space.

Being in outer space is the end game. Well, I think the end game is killing Thanos and getting people back from the blip. Right, of course, yes. Well, this is, I mean, when is plan one happening though? Because it was supposed to happen this week. Well, yes, it seemed very imminent, but I gather that the funeral rather sort of threw things off a bit.

And now I wonder if perhaps they're considering, they're wondering what will happen with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, you know? Oh, so they're waiting for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to see if Sha-Na-Na legally changes their name and gets to the stage before Tina Turner, is that what it is? Yes, because if in fact Sha-Na-Na does not make it into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,

then they're in the clear. Maybe Plan One would be called off for now. Well, I mean, this all just depends on, of course, the Grizz being gone and the Grizz being- Did someone mention my name? What? Wait. Well, well, well.

Oh no. I'm in Deniston as I live and breathe! Who's this then? Oh, you know who it is, me old China? Sir, announce yourself! Who are you? It's me! The Grizz!

Wait a minute! What? How can this be? We've just been told you were killed! Dalton Wilcox murdered you with a silver bullet to the heart and the leg. No one kills the Grizz. Oh my, wait. So you're unkillable or he just didn't succeed in killing you?

Are you some sort of immortal? How do you work, Grizz? I don't think I'm unkillable, but that blood didn't kill me. Oh my god. So far I'm unkillable. So that was you then with the prosthetics. Oh it was me with the prosthetics one day. So was it also you who was buried in Prince Philip's grave?

Did you have to, were you buried alive? Not the first time, dearie, and it won't be the last. Oh my god, so are you here for revenge? I'll tell you what I'm here for. I'm here to defend the honor of my girlfriend, Lady Amelia. Wow! So you did all of this for love? For love and for sex and for money. Where's the money come into it? Oh, I guess she's got a lot.

She's a Spencer. Yes. She's a Windsor. So you, you know everything you know about the Scrooge gang? Everything. I know every, the Scrooge gang's not going to work. Wait, did you listen to episode 700? I know you like it. Episode 700.

Me and Byron like it. Anytime I'm spoken about, I manage to like it. Did you listen to episode 700? Me and Byron like it. Anytime I'm spoken about, I manage to hear it. I watch the world with the eyes of little birds. Well, Grizz, it's a pleasure to have you on the show. Welcome to Comedy Bengbeng. I'm sorry, be Grizz. And by the way, I would like to thank you, the Grizz, because I also was against the

name The Scrooge Gang. I thought I especially thought it was... At this point it's a tie and you're not even part of it anymore, The Grizz. It's a bit whimsical. No, I'm not part of it. Am I? I never was part of it. This is all a fantasy of your making.

Just so I understand, Dalton Wilcox did shoot you and did cover you in prosthetics to look like Prince Philip and did lay you in the street in front of Lloyd's Bank and you were buried in Prince Philip's grave, but none of that had killed you and you managed to claw your way out and now here you are? That's right, you got E1! Nobody beats the Grizz! This is shocking! This is a shocking development!

Shocking, isn't it? Nobody beats the Grizz! Nobody beats the Grizz! Are there t-shirts? Because I'd love to make some t-shirts. That's gotta be a t-shirt. That's gotta be a t-shirt. Well the Grizz, this is incredible.

Did you claw your way out of the grave? What exactly happened? The easiest thing in the world is to escape from a coffin, whilst being buried underground. Are you some sort of David Blaine type illusionist? What? No. The guy that goes in the glass box says, I'm gonna go in the glass box for a while.

So you have no aspirations to be any kind of magician or? Why do I don't do for show? I do it to survive. He's engaged to a royal. He doesn't have time to be doing magic. He's engaged to a royal. You have nothing but time to do magic once you're engaged to a royal. Once you're married. Oh, okay. So you're engaged to a royal. Once you're married.

Oh, okay. So you have no time right now. No time right now, sorry. No time for magic right now, mates. I've got to be on it. I've got to survive to make it to the royal wedding that I'm going to have. Have you announced your presence?

Have you returned back to your fiance at this point? I've been communicating with her through a series of birds. Through a series of which birds? We do you mean actual birds? Are you in the in the sense of like in Game of Thrones, like the little street urchins are the gossip network, those little birds? Both the little street urchins are the gossip network, those little birds. Both. The little street urchins carry actual birds. That seems expensive.

Wow. It's like a waste of the bird's natural talent to fly. These birds is all wounded, Byron, that is then. They can't fly no more. Look at this cruel prick. Think birds should just be put to death, summarily executed if they ever get an injury, Byron? What, are you the producers of luck but with birds? You're saying you've written little notes

to your fiance and tied them to the legs of birds who are injured and cannot fly and handed them to street urchins who then carry them to Lady Amelia? Did I stutter? No, you didn't. Honestly, I think it would be more merciful to kill the birds. Oh, you would, wouldn't you?

Well, that's you, isn't it? A poshtoff like you. All you think about is, is it lower than me? Kill it. I mean, Byron Denison, I have to say, this is like, this is, as a royal watcher. Yes. This must be huge news for you. Not only that the Grizz is alive foiling the grid. But also hearing about like a specific royal method of communication here to for unknown.

It's not a royal method. It's a method from the streets. I'm a commoner, you might say. Oh, interesting. Oh, okay, got it. Had no idea. The Grizz. Oh, you didn't?

Did I sound like I come from Oxbridge, mate? Your accent is British, so very posh. The Grizz, where, where, where, what's your background? Where did you come from? We don't know anything about you. I come from the gutter. Are you some sort of like Oliver Twist or Fagin-style con artist out there on the streets who's ingratiated himself?

First of all, Oliver Twist was not a con artist. He was an orphan, wasn't he? And Fagin was not a con artist either. He was a pickpocket. And he ran a ring of little kid pickpockets. I beg your pardon. Nobody was conning anyone a ring of little kid pickpockets. I bet your brother. Nobody was conning anyone. People were just taking people's wallets. So would you say, are you a con artist kind of like a Danny Ocean or a, I can't remember what Brad Pitt's character's name in the ocean is what he was.

But he ate a lot. He certainly was always eating something. I think his name was Shrimp Cocktail. His name was Shrimp Cocktail. His name was Shrimp Cocktail! It's not a bad name. Brad Pitt played a character named Shrimp Cocktail in the Ocean's Next Movies. This is my best friend. Shrimp Cocktail.

And at precisely $11.45 Shrimp Cocktail, you're going to move to the Blackjack Table. How long does it take to sing the song, God Save the Queen? I mean shrimp come from the ocean, so it's not that big of a stretch. As do we all, mate, as do we all. That's true. So say we all, so say we all. Battle Star Galactica. Oh, are you a sci-fi fan? I am sci-fi.

Oh, really? What's your favorite? You an SG-fi fan? I am sci-fi. Oh, really? What's your favorite? You an SG-1 guy? Any recommendations? I'm looking for something new to watch sci-fi wise. Blake 7, of course. You've got to watch Blake 7. Doctor Who.

Yes, Doctor Who. That's the only sci-fi that really matters, isn't it? You guys are really getting along. On this we agree, Byron. That is the way. Oh, right. Good, good, good. I mean, do you have a... I guess you don't have a problem with Byron here.

I mean, the guy who shot you is Dalton Wilcox, right? Oh, I've got a problem with Byron. What's your problem with me? Dalton Wilcox, you're full of questions, aren't you, Byron? All I'm trying to do is steal your fiancé away, and if killing you to do it is what's needed, I'm perfectly willing. Do you hear yourself, mate? Do you hear yourself?

You're shouting. Are you even aware of the gris? I actually can't hear myself that well, and that's why I do tend to shout sometimes. I do have a bit of tinnitus, and so I often cannot hear myself that well. And so sometimes I will speak more loudly than I realize I'm speaking. So if that does happen, I do have a bit of tinnitus, and so I often cannot hear myself that well. And so sometimes I will speak more loudly than I realize I'm speaking. So if that does happen, I do it. This makes sense to the Grizz.

But there is also anger! Ha ha ha! Are you even aware, the Grizz, of the plan to take you up into space? Do you even know that that's happening and that that's one of the side benefits of marrying a royal? Are you even aware? Indeed, I am aware.

And no one's going to keep me from marrying Lady Amelia and go into space or deep under the ocean or wherever she wants to go, because I'm in love with her. And that's the truth. What are you going to do out in space, the Grizz? I don't know, space things? I mean, I can see it. Collect rocks? Does it sound that exciting?

I don't. What's exciting to me is being by the side of my lady love. Lady Emilia. You know, it's what's kind of wonderful about being able to, because, you know, previously when we were speaking to Byron a couple of weeks ago, previously, we got this whole story and I got really wrapped up in Byron surviving the apocalypse on earth and living in space. But now that I'm talking to the Grizz, what I realized at the heart of this is a love story.

Yeah. You know, at the heart of this is a story about Lady Amelia and the Grizz and that their love is true. Oh, it's true. Well, he did mention money and that their love is true. Oh, love is true. Well, he did mention money and sex. And money was number three. And also survive.

Love was number one, sex was number two, and money was number three. Yes, for me, space is number one. You don't find out at romantic ranking. What are you going to do with money out in space? Are you going to turn it into space bucks? Buy rocks! That's the answer.

Now here's an interesting question. Well, we'll be the judge of that. Byron, yeah, of course. Byron, knowing that you had faked Prince Philip's death, using what you believed to be the corpse of the Grizz. Yes. Have you been trying to woo Lady Amelia as a new, a new suitor? A new person or as Byron?

Or as the Grizz? Have you been impersonating the Grizz? And if so, I'd like to hear how that's going. Well, no, I have been a new suitor, but rumor has reached my ears that Dalton Wilcox has been impersonating the Grizz. The man that he believed he killed to try and get close to. Why would he do that? Because don't you all want the Grizz out of the way? We gotta get through. Is Dalton available?

I have no idea. I have no idea where he is. Has Dalton around? Can we call him? I have been trying to present myself as a new suitor, but Dalton, who believed up into, well, still believes that he killed the Grizz, has sort of stepped into his shoes and tried to take his place to marry Lady Amelia. He literally stepped into my shoes. And you know what's funny is that my shoes is bigger than Dalton Wilcox's shoes. And so he's had his stuff newspaper in his toes.

Wow. It's very funny. You can tell that on his shoes, his feet are, they look ridiculous on his body. That must infuriate Dalton Wilcox because newspapers are usually from the city. Yeah, he must hate that. He must hate all that city type. He would prefer just manure strewn rags instead of newspapers, but that's all he could get. Kerosene-soaked shirt.

You feel like the equivalent of newspapers for cowboys. His manure-strewn rags. They get delivered on your porch every day. I feel like they're wanted posters and such in the old west. Well, did you see the manure-soaked rag today? Yep. Looks like it's gonna rain. Well, look, we, this is an astounding development

in the Byron Duniston story and the Prince Philip story. And unfortunately we have to take a break. And the Gris story. Well, the Gris story continues on. That's perhaps the most astounding development of all. I will say based on the theme, this is a bit of a Grismis on. That's perhaps the most astounding development of all. I will say, based on the theme, this is a bit of a Grismus story. That's true.

I mean, the Scrooge Gang is ready. A Grismus Carol? A Grismus Carol? Aren't you the Scrooge Gang? It's a Grismus Carol. Well, we have to take a break, but can you guys stick around? Is that?

Oh, I'll be sticking around. Wonderful. I do have a tea later with Lady Amelia, but I can give you a little more time. Oh, I regret to inform you, your lordship, that tea has been cancelled. We'll see, we'll see about that. And possibly Dalton Wilcox, if you're listening out there, please call in. We'd love to hear from you. Yes, Dalton, if you're listening live, please call in.

I'd love to hear your impression of The Grizz. Alright, we're gonna go to a break. But before we do, Manchester Orchestra, are you guys ready to play your first song? Let's do it. Let's do it. Which one is this? This is off the new record, The Million Masks of God, and which song are you about to play here? This song is called Bedhead. Bedhead! Alright guys, here? This song is called Bedhead. Bedhead!

Alright guys, here we go. This is Manchester Orchestra. One, two, three, four. I'm not alone but it sure feels like someone left Deaf notes and talking heads Carrying on your debt There's blood on the bedhead and volumes you left unsaid Let them talk and let it happen Now I'm afraid you're alone Oh my God Let me relinquish and start to distinguish my past and my time You and I are all the fire so, oh my God

Let me extinguish the habit, the sequence, the loss in my mind And now I believe in the ghost The ghost We are now at the end of our drive afraid of the ghost Oh my God, let me relinquish and start to distinguish my past and my time You and I, holy fire soul Oh my God, let me extinguish the habit, the sequence, the loss in my mind You know I believe right by the entrance you broke Finally reality's taken its hold You're not who you were, but you can't let it go You're not where you're from but you're always alone

So I stick a flag in the ground I think I know who I'm living for now I am what I am, same above as the ground It's not what I want but I'm figuring it out Oh my God Let me relinquish and start to distinguish my past and my time Cause there is only love and fire so Oh my God

Let me extinguish the habit, the sequence, the loss in my mind Yeah, now I believe in the cold The cold Close Close Close Very nice! Alright guys, we're gonna go to a break. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang 12th anniversary episode after this! Comedy Bang Bang, we are back here, 12th anniversary episode, and we have Jason Manzoukas here of

the Massachusetts Manzoukas. He said hey-o as a and then left me hanging. Oh sorry, I didn't realize, I thought you were gonna move right on. Yes, I'm still here, yes. It's good to be here. Once again, happy anniversary. And we have, of course, the band Manchester Orchestra, who is here playing songs from their record, just came out on Friday, The Million Masks of God. Hello, guys. That was a beautiful song. Bedhead. That's the single, isn't it? It is, yes.

Ah, so good. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. An incredible, incredible celebration of both music and people here on Comedy Bang Bang. Of course, this is the show where we talk to interesting people and of course, America's Nay Humanities podcast and our other guests are no exception to humanity.

We have of course, Byron Denniston here. Thank you, yes, I don't consider myself an exception to humanity in any way at all. Appreciate that. Maybe you should ask around. The Grizz is here. How dare you. The Grizz is here.

Nobody beats the Grizz is here. How dare you. The Grizz is here. Nobody beats the Grizz. Nobody beats the Grizz. T-shirts in the Shopify store soon. In production. Of course. And if we ever get a, we hear that Zoom chime open up, we'll know that Dalton Wilcox has called into the Zoom. But we do have to

get to our next guest. She is a park ranger. She's one of our wonderful park rangers out there in our national parks. And last time we talked to her, she was up in the St. Louis Arch, which Byron and Jason, we mentioned, I believe the last time you were on the show. And we'll see what's going on with her now. Please welcome back to the show, Marjorie Kershaw. Hi, Scott. Thanks for having me. Happy anniversary. 1212. Yeah.

Check 1212 here. Thanks so much for being on the show. You remembered Jason. I don't know if you've ever met Jason. I don't think we have ever met. It's lovely to meet you, Marjorie. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. And of course, Byron Denniston, who's from Mary Old England.

Yes, indeed. Hi. You know, the sheriff of Nottingham, et cetera. Yeah. Yeah. OK, great. Hi. Nice to meet you. Pleasure. Pleasure. Famous Dennisons of England I'm lumping you in with. I've never been to the St. Louis Arch. I'm but now I'm excited to visit it. Now that it's a national park, I wouldn't go if it was simply a thing.

Yeah, oh yeah, Gateway to the West. And of course we have the Grizz here. I don't know if you've ever met the Grizz. Grizz, have you ever gone to the St. Louis Arch? Never been, but it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lady. Nice to meet you. Well, Scott, I'm actually not at the arch right now.

No, where, what's happened to you? I'm at arguably the jewel of the NPS Yo, system. That's right. You're in yo semite. I'm here. I'm here. Um Didn't get transferred not working here I just took my personal time to come out and look at it because you know, it's been my dream for a long time Where you want to get to that's where I want to get to that's the big show. That's the game That's I thought you've been called up. But no, you're just there on that's the big leagues. That's where you want to get to. That's where I want to get to. That's the big show. That's the game. That's, uh, I thought you'd been called up, but no, you're just there on the big leagues. That's the big league.

That's the arch is kind of triple a baseball. And if that, well, yeah, you know, I've, I've been sort of, um, I've been making my, making a name for myself through some of the lesser parks, Jason. So I, um, I started at pinnacles in California as as I call them the jazz hands of central California. Then I was moved up to the gates of the Arctic, least visited park in Alaska. Dry Tortugas in Florida, which is just a big fort. Then the arch during COVID,

where you couldn't go in the elevator, but I'm here on my personal time at, well, I would say the best park in the system. The Crown Jewel, yeah. The Crown Jewel. Yeah. This is where you want to get, but you're just there on PT. Yep, yep, yep. And unfortunately, Scott, I did suffer a mild ankle injury. Just as I was going through the South Gate at Wawona Campground. You know, I say, don't ever take a social trail, but there was a gum wrapper I wanted to get.

Oh! Oh! No! So you bet. What happened? You stepped on a pebble or? Yeah, I just took a, I just took a bull. I took a route the wrong way and Timber did I go,

just like a big old general, General Zallison Wonderland. Timber, Timber, Zallison Wonderland took me down. It started off great and interesting and then was terrible at the end. That's right. That's so far my experience here at Old South Gate. You didn't like the Fraptious Day. Oh, Caloo Calay, it didn't work out.

I chortled with my knot joy in this situation. You didn't like the Flutterwagon? No, Twas Grilling and the Slithy Toves did. Oops, here I trip, I go. That'd be a fun prank for lumberjacks to play. They'd be like, Tim Burton, and then suddenly Tim Burton walks in, everyone's ducking and trying to get out of the way of trees.

And instead of a lumberjack, it was Edward Scissorhands cutting down the tree? That would be funny. That would be funny. Oh, well. That would be funny. Thank you. Better than the Scrooge Gang?

Wait, so Marjorie, are you down? Are you out of commission? Do you need us to send help? Oh, wow. Well, that would be- Yeah, are you broadcasting from within the actual park? Do you need help? Well, just barely within the park.

I didn't make it to Tunnel View, haven't seen El Cap, we're half dome yet, haven't gone on a hike to the Cathedral Lakes, nope, just sitting here, just can almost see the Grove of Sequoias, just can almost barely glimpse it from where I am. But you can't see even an inch of it, can you? No, I'm just post enough. Because you're just still just in the gate.

I'm just post enough. You're just in. Just right within the gate. But the promise of it makes you happy, I can tell. Oh boy, oh boy, I'm just in the gate. Just right within the gate. But the promise of it makes you happy, I can tell. Oh boy, oh boy, I'm almost there. Mrs. Is it true that Americans drive through trees there? Oh, well not within the actual park. You have a drive-through within a tree?

There are drive-through trees, but none of those exist within park boundaries. Is that good for a tree? No, no, certainly not. Certainly not. Oh, look who cares about living things all of a sudden. Yeah. Birds are in trees. Do you care about them? Byron? I like birds as long as their wings work and they don't snap. Got a lot of rules.

Just that one. So do you need assistance to have any of the Rangers come by and see you there? I've been trying to make some inroads. You know, I'm connected with all these folks on LinkedIn, but I just- Sure, but are they not refusing? Well, you know, Scott, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to spill any tea, but they are Yosemite park rangers. So, you know, they're, they're a bit of, you know,

it's sort of like this, they're seniors and I'm a freshman. You know, they're a little bit untouchable. Okay. So if they came by, would you even, would you even let them know that you were hurt? Or would you try and be cool and play it off like, everything's fine? I have so far, I've been trying to keep it very cool.

Just saying, oh. Have they swung by? Have they driven by you? Couple people have driven by and say, hey, do you need any help? And I, oh, no, just getting rooted to the ground. Just trying to. You should tell them you need assistance.

Just getting rooted to the ground? Just connecting, just trying to reconnect, just trying to surf those frequencies. How long have you been out there? About 18 hours, but I have, I always carry water, so I'm all right so far. And to be clear, you're not stuck. This is in a 127 hours type situation.

No, this is great. You're at about an inch of that. It's an 18 hours type situation. This is just frozen by my own anxiety and pride, just trying to make a good impression on these Yosemite Rangers. How far away are you from the car that you arrived in? So, well, I actually just got dropped off on a bus.

Didn't splurge for renting a car. You know, just trying to make the most of my time out here. You can't afford that on an elevator operator salary. No, no, no. Well, this is terrible, but... Oh no, I'm in the park here where Muir camped with Teddy Roosevelt and said, hey, ain't this a great idea?

I mean, I'm right there. I'm almost at the valley floor. That famous John Muir quote. Hey, isn't this a great idea? How far away are you? Isn't that on a plaque at the beginning of the park? The mountains are calling and I must, hey, ain't this a good idea? How far away are you from the gate?

Are you just on your feet? Well, there's three gates, so I am just within the south gate at Waona Campground, so I'm technically in the park, just haven't seen any of its more resplendent views. But if you were to scooch back even like three feet, would you be outside of the park? I'd be out of the park. Okay, so you just made it right in. Just there. Okay, well that's a good place to be.

Great, oh, can't complain. Well, and then you made it. I made it, yeah. Like you really have to like at least acknowledge and honor the victory of having made it into the park. Thank you so much. And I think, you know, a couple, just a little bit more, a few more hours of elevating this

and I might be able to hobble back over to my tent. So, you know, I'm, and I have, I cashed in all my sick days, all my vacation days. So I have 12 days. I just, you know, got them. It happened on day one. You've wasted one of them already. But I got 11.

I wish I could give you 12 more days. 12 days of Grismas. Oh, the Gris. The 12 days of Grismas. The Gris, you're so sweet. I can see why she fell in love with you. Thank you. Aside from the sex, which is number two to you.

Number two, love, number one. That's what he calls giving her the Gris. Is that number one for her, by the way? I hope so. The sex? No, the... Oh, the love, the love. What are you asking?

I was wondering what order it was for her. She's not satisfied with the sex. Really? Yes, just that's... Oh, I'll slit your face by her dentist then. Wow. Is that the rumor? No, no, no, she told me that herself. She says, I can't wait for the grzz to get back, but not for the sex.

You lie! No, it's true. They ought to call you liar in Deniston. Whoa, that was an amazing slam. Thank you. Well, it's so great to have you back, Marjorie. If you need help at any point during the show, just let me know and I will contact anyone you need me to contact.

Oh, that is so kind. Thank you so much. And being that you are out there in the West, we know, we have agents who roam the West. We have comedy bang bang agents out there all throughout the West Coast. Oh, perfect. On horseback looking for holes in the ground.

So I'm sure there's plenty. Perfect, perfect. Well, I'm sure there's plenty. Perfect, perfect. Well, I'm pretty near a big boulder, so I might just try to hoist myself up. A little Alex Honnold action, a little free solo right here. Oh, free of fear, of course. Just lean back and just, that'll change my view. That alone.

Lean in, lean back, do all the leans. Yeah, are you next to a garbage can or anything? I mean, I can only imagine they're right there by the gate. I'm pretty close to a garbage can. anything? I mean, I can only imagine they're right there by the gate I'm pretty close to a garbage can I'm also quite close to you know, the little newspaper you can get about things to do in the park that One of them what about what about any rags strewn with manure? It was part of the problem that your hiking boots might not have fit and they're shoved full of of the problem that your hiking boots might not have fit and they're shoved full of rags. Manure strewn rags?

Do you know what? Do you know what? Everyone says it's important to have a snug fitting boot, but I was like, prove it. And I went a size up and yeah, it's no good for the slide. I wish I had some manure strewn rags to put in these toes. Search through that garbage can. Maybe they'd be somewhere there. Just so he can fix you his space, you're near a big boulder, a trash can and a newspaper.

That's right. Yeah. About just under a yard within the South Gate. You're free. You're free. Slides away from being out of the park entirely. Three adults scoots away from being outside the park. Well, great, Marjorie. Thank you so much for making the appointment to be on the show. I appreciate you being on it. Oh, my pleasure. Yeah, I wanted to talk from the Crown Jewel. Of course. Well, we do need to get to our next guest. And he is... I forget exactly what state he's from.

I think he's from Cincinnati, isn't he? I can't remember. I'm from Wisconsin. Oh, you're thinking of the Cincinnati Playboy. No. Oh, sorry. That's what I am. I am.

Redact that. Redact it. Devin, redact it. It has been enacted. Redacted and enacted. Thank you. He has been on the show many times. He is, of course, the guy who says yoink

whenever he steals anything. Please welcome back to the show, Randy Snuts. Oh, thanks for having me, Scott. And I apologize in advance for the chaos that's about to ensue. What do you mean chaos that's about to ensue? I mean. Yeah, okay, so I'm here too.

Okay. What? It's me, Carissa. Who is this? Carissa, Randy Snuts' girlfriend? Yeah. We've heard a lot about you, Carissa. This is crazy. This is what is going on with this show. There's a lot of confrontations here.

Yeah, I have a lot of a bone to pick with you guys big time. A bone to pick with who? Jason Manzoukas or The Grizz or my friend? Not The Grizz, surely. Probably Scott, probably with Scott Ackerman. Yeah, well with all you guys, with all his boys, with all Randy's boys on here. She hacked my email, she stole the zoom

and she's zoom bombing us right now. There was nothing I could do. She guessed my email password. What is your email password? The word 69 in lowercase. With a hyphen? No, that's a good idea. Okay, that'll throw her off the fence.

I just want to say, like, I am sick and tired of him coming on here on Comedy Bangs. I think you guys are a really bad influence on him. And every time he gets off the podcast, he's a different person. And I hate who he becomes after he comes on. He talks a lot of shit about you, Karissa, I have to say. You and your scandalous behavior. Scott, please, do not do this to me, man. I don't need to get double crossed.

I like Randy when he's at home. He's quiet. He just sits there. What? But after he comes on here, he comes back home and he thinks he's all head honcho, you know, big man on campus, big man back home and he thinks he's all head honcho, you know, big man on campus, big man at Wisconsin Dells. Yeah, I am BMOC because me and the guys cut a rug and then I'm like, I'm empowered and

I get home and I'm like, I'm not putting up with this anymore. Yeah, so- I mean, that's the Randy that we see. We see the Randy who talks a lot of shit and talks a lot of smack and says he's not going to put up with you and you're saying- We also see a Randy who, you know, when he talks to us, it tells us about the fact that it sounds like you are charisma manipulating him

in a lot of instances. Emotionally and physically manipulating him. Does cut a rug still mean the same thing it used to? I'm not quite sure. Are you a professional rug cutter? Yeah, that's my current job right now. And I have a good time at work, so I just repurpose that phrase. Oh, okay. And me, I work at Yankee Candle, so I...

What is Yankee Candle? Oh, okay. So I help with the smells and all that for the candles. What does that mean, you help with the smells? You help them to smell? You don't sell the candles, you help in the development of the scents? Yeah, I help them with the smells. You help them to smell? You don't sell the candles, you help in the development of the scents? Yeah, I help them with the smells. So like one of my latest ones is like the hot bar at Whole Foods.

Oh. As a candle. As a candle. The entire hot bar, so everything that would be in the hot bar, like chicken tenders and- Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you know that kind of smell

where all the food goes together. Yeah. So it's all very, it's all the food goes together. Yeah, it's all very it's competing Pungent smells yeah Both types of lasagna the meat and the vegan and teriyaki chicken There's often a gumbo in there as well You have Whole Foods there in England, what do they call it there?

the complete ingestibles. Okay, that makes sense. The one thing Byron and I can agree on. We love complete ingestibles. So I just want to say this is Randy's last time on here. He's cut off. No, he's one of our favorites. Whoa, Randy? Randy, he's last time on here. He's cut off. What? He's one of our favorites. Whoa, Randy. Randy, he's saying defoog. Defoog?

It is not my last time on the podcast. Yeah, it is, Randy. This is it. So make it your best one that counted. Make it count. It's impossible for it to be the best one. It's an anniversary show. I mean, it's always voted on pretty high,

but they're always kind of a clusterfuck. Yeah, that's true. But have you ever voted on one of those yourself? You're always like, well, I got to put the anniversary one in there. So you vote for your own episodes, Randy? Yeah, I got burner accounts to spare. OK, great. Oh, Randy, did you get did you get bots to vote? Yeah, I always buy bots to vote. Like, unfortunately, that's the world that we live in now,

you know, like everything is being like infested by bots and the Russians and- Okay, this is not the Randy that we know. It's like black mirroring. This is what you guys do to him. You get them all riled up like this. And I just like it when he's at home, he sits there, he's quiet, we watch Real Housewives, New York,

and he doesn't talk. And then he comes on here and he gets all piped up. He comes in piped up, I have to say. Absolutely, because look at what my home life is. I'm drinking sleepy tea so that I can pass out during Real Housewives. How dare you say that? You know that that's my show.

That's my entire identity. I don't care. I'm like, look, you're in front of my boys. This is my turf now, all right, Carissa? So I'm gonna put you on blast. This is yet another- I wouldn't consider us to be your boys, by the way. I've never considered myself to be your boys.

You know what, Randy? I'm comfortable saying that I have your back right now as you stand up for yourself oh yeah disgusting I'm for all people standing up for themselves and wanting to express themselves however they want to Express themselves so Randy that includes you but Carissa that also includes you this is comedy Bang Bang is an inclusive place where we can all be whoever we want to be no see I think comedy bangs is really just where we can all be whoever we wanna be. No, see, I think Comedy Banks is really just poison for his brain. You guys infect him when he comes on here.

Sure. It's cult behavior. I don't like it. I totally disagree. I think that this is empowering. I come back with wind under my sails, ready to call out Carissa's deviance and scandalous behavior.

How long does that last though? Because it sounds like the minute you confront her that she just bats you back down. Yeah, that's true. It doesn't last that long. I just want us to be, you know, like my friends back home, like, like Mackenzie and her guy Alec, you know, they, they're, what they do is they go to different restaurants and they try different wings. And I just want a life like that with Randy. I fucking hate this.

Are you trying them for the smells or for the taste? I'm trying it for both of them. But I thought, you know, we could have our own thing, you know, like me and Randy. You know, maybe we could go to different different restaurants and, you know, try out the bathrooms, you know, and that could be our thing. OK, I don't know the bathrooms. Try them out and destroy them or. You know, try them out, you know, see, see if you like them, if they're them? You know, try them out.

See if you like them, if they're good. You know, the restrooms are hard to find. Marjorie, is this triggering you, Marjorie? Do you need to go to the restroom right now? I can see you're sort of bouncing around in your seat. Oh, me? Oh, I was just trying to get my foot free of the root. I'm sorry.

But actually, also really quick, Carissa, I was wondering, have you, do you have any line of, yeah, I don't know, smells from the park system? I got chlorine. Oh, oh, just chlorine? Cause what I love most about Yankee Candle

is like how all the smells have names. You know, like, is it called chlorine or is it called like summer skin, 630? It's called pool pee because, you know, that's actually what that chlorine smell is when chlorine. Yeah, it's not activated until someone actually pees. Yeah, if you're by a pool and you smell chlorine, it's because someone has peed in it.

Yeah, exactly. Wait, Scott, is that true? Very true, yeah. Why, do you have a pool and you smell chlorine, it's because someone has peed in it. Yeah, exactly. Wait, Scott, is that true? Very true. Yeah. Why? Do you have a pool at your place? No, never.

But that just made me so sad thinking about on all the pools I've been in in the past. Sure. Yeah. That explains why every time I pee in the pool, I'm like, where's that chlorine smell coming from? Yeah, I guess so. Well, look, Randy, we hate to not have you on the show anymore, but Carissa has lowered the boom.

So it appears this is your last appearance. No way, absolutely not. Carissa, I'm just gonna get a different email and sign in. And I'll think of some kind of devious password that you'll never be able to guess. I could guess that right now. It's all 69s and then and then one 666. Damn it.

That's a good one. That's a really good one. All 69s and then 666. Randy, I feel like a lot of times you you come on and and when you leave the show you are ready to break up with Carissa like a year in your relationship. You know and so what I have for you know for, you know, three months at a time. Yeah. Yeah, what happens that draws you back in?

And I can't help but notice, and I hope this is okay. I'm saying this, I know we're all on Zoom, but it appears as though Carissa is wearing an engagement ring. No. Yeah, she puts that on. She puts it on and she goes out into the community and she's like, Randy proposed to me.

And then it puts me in a position where I'm like, no, I didn't. And I look back. Well, first it puts you in the position where you say dafouq. Yeah. Dafouq? This is the plus of this. I just want people to think of me as engaged because it makes me sexier to other people. Well, are you looking for sex from other people?

You're looking for that. It's not that I'm looking for sex. Like Randy is like my rock, like my number one, but do I wanna look sexy to other people? Do I wanna look hot? Yeah. Number one implies that you're looking for a number two, though, and a number three, and a number four.

Yeah, you don't know. I bet Randy's got other girls out there. Absolutely not. I'm not trying. I'm either trying to be at home and like have a peaceful time or I'm going to be out with my boys. That's it. Those are the two sides of the same coin for Randy Snuts. Yeah. I mean, Carissa is a smoke show to me. So, you know, if you're coming at me for like not wanting to be with her, you better, you're coming incorrect is what's happening.

How dare you say that? How dare you imply that? I've got a question for these two lovebirds. Sure. Randy, turn off your audio so you can't hear. Okay, I'm alright. Here we go. Carissa, explain this all to me. How do you rank the following things? Love, sex, money.

Put them in a numerical order. What you like the best being first and what you like the least being last. Okay, so for sure, money first. Hmm, okay. For sure. Does Randy have a lot of money? No, but my dad does.

My dad owns the cement factory. The cement factory? Yeah. Can I add going into space? Yeah, let's put that in. One of the things on the list. Does that supplant your number one or? I think that'd be number two for me.

I think I'd love to go up there. I'd love to. So first money and then going into space. Yeah, and then Randy, you know, he's good at sex sometimes when he's sober. How often is that though? It's so rare. But it's good when he's sober.

I don't know. I mean, I don't know what helps me with it. What makes it bad when he's not sober? Is it, is he? He's just, you know, he's not engaged. Like, you know, he's like watching TV and stuff or he's eating food. The things we all do when we're drunk. Wow, you know, he's like watching TV and stuff or he's eating food. The things we all do when we're drunk.

Wow, you know, this really illustrates to us what an unreliable narrator Randy has been on his past appearances. It really is. He's always saying how duplicitous Carissa is and how she cheats on him and how she is manipulating him and that this casts a whole new light on things. This is really interesting.

I mean, it sounds to me like he's a drunk who's not even good at sex. What did I miss? Oh, hey, Randy, you're back. Yeah. Wait, Carissa Love, what was your final ranking? So money first, then space, then I guess sober sex, and then love. Right. OK.

Now, Randy, you've got to rank the following things. OK. Money, going into space, sex. Sober sex and drunk sex. Sober sex slash drunk sex. So what is your order of preference? What do you like most to least? All right.

If I had to pick just one one I'd say going into space. no not just one. listen! please listen Randy! focus! my fault. all right sorry. you gotta rank them.

okay all right I would pick going into space then I'll pick drunk sex because you get to eat and watch TV at the same time. then I would pick money, because you could buy whatever food you want or DVDs to watch while you're having drunk sex. We know what money is used for. Yeah. Then I would pick love,

because it's beautiful and fleeting. And then I would pick sober sex, because it feels good. I mean, we'd have to build this list out, because those are top five things like in general. It's hard to rank them. Right, yeah. So they're all maybe tied for first for you. Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah. Wow. Okay. Well, The Grizz, why did you ask this? An interesting window into their relationship, and why they may have the problems that they have. Did that clear it up for you? No, I'm still confused. I'm curious. I wasn't. I didn't mean you, love. I didn't mean you. The Grizz, are you and Lady Amelia in couples counseling? Is this something that you learned in couples counseling or in therapy of some sort?

I am a couples counselor. You are a couple? What? We didn't know that about you, The Grizz. You didn't know that about you, the Grizz. You didn't know that about the Grizz. Oh, my God. Hi there. I heard you guys was having a big anniversary show. I just thought I'd check in and say, hey, who the hell is that? My shoes.

What the goddamn what's going on? I killed you. You thought you did, daughter Wilcox, but nobody beats the Grizz. Dang it! They told me that when I was going up against you. You never saw that t-shirt? I was specifically warned on three separate occasions nobody beats the Grizz. Bless it. That can't be the case. I shot you in the heart and the leg.

That's right, but I had a portrait of the queen done on a tin plate that was stuck right in my jacket. And the leg thing was not, it was not fatal. So you are wounded in the leg? Yeah, it hurt, it hurt. It's, that was tough, that was tough. Well, welcome to the show, Dalton Wilcox. It's good, I know you've got a lot of other guests.

I was literally just popping in to say hi, happy anniversary, and you can buy my book. Thank you so much. Which one? You must buy your wife at least as much jewelry as you buy your horse and other poems and observations, humorous and otherwise from a life on the range by Dalton Wilcox. You can pick that up anywhere where there's selling books and even some places where they ain't. Sure, yeah.

What about the sequel book? Oh, the sequel book? Yeah. You still have to buy your wife at least as much jewelry as you buy your horse. And even more poems and additional observations from a life still being lived on the range by Dalton Wilcox, who wrote the first book by Dalton Wilcox. Yeah. And that third one, though, there is a third one. There is a third one. I've never seen a cow- That's what you on the spot. No, I've never seen a cowboy eat hummus.

And hang on, wait a minute, there it is right here. God damn, wait, no, I've never seen a cowboy eat hummus and other foods that cowboys have also not eaten in my presence in addition to poems and observations about living life on the range humorous and otherwise by Dalton Wilcox. Okay, very good. Well, I'm sorry to surprise you with the presence of the Grizz here, but apparently you didn't do the job. Surprise! It's the Grizz!

I'm shocked because I swear to God I thought I killed him. I went all the way to goddamn England to kill this guy. And he, this is a real, this is the real Grizz. This is not the ghost of Grismith's past. This is the Grizz. No, I know that because I'm not asleep. But I've been, you know, I've been posing as the Grizz. I've been, what I do is I find a rag and I soak it in some manure and I stuff it into his shoes. Sure.

And I put those shoes on and then I'm the Grizz. So let's hear a little bit of your Grizz. Maybe we could have a Grizz off. Yeah, I've been fooling people left and right. Look, here comes the Grizz. I say, oh, boy, I'm an Englishman. And here I am, a chip-chop cheerio. And it's me, the Grizz.

It's too good. It's too good. It's too good. Which one of us said that? Well, now that you know the Grizz is alive, are you going to abdicate the role of the Grizz? Nope. I think we'll carry on as two Grizzes. Two Grizzes? This is unprecedented. There could be only one. Does the United Kingdom have room for two grizzes? No, it's very small.

Does Lady Amelia's heart have room for two grizzes is another question. She has four chambers in her heart. Could you each share? Lady Amelia is in love with me. Oh, Byron Denison as the new suitor? She's already in love with the new suitor? She's deeply in love with me. And's already in love with the new suitor. She's deeply in love with me and she's in love with me the Grizz. Well she's in love with me the Grizz. So she's in love with three people, three different people. She's got a big heart that girl. She can love everyone in the world.

But she can only take one of us into space. It's true. Well, well, well. It seems we've got a Manchester standoff. How are we going to settle this before Sean on sends the stage before Tina Turner? I mean, it seems unlikely we're going to settle it in this episode. Sure.

We probably don't want to do it in an anniversary episode. We want it to be in. There's like six more people waiting to get in. It's going to be really cool. It should be in a main episode. I'm happy to table it. I'm happy to cut into people's time. All right, we'll tell you what.

Why don't we, we're about to go to a break. Are any of you leaving? Excuse me while I disappear. I think, I think, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to go ahead and sign off, Scott, just to maintain a little bit of energy while I still have daylight. I understand. Yeah, bless that.

I'm going to head up to Yosemite. I heard there was a person in trouble. Oh, that would be great. Could you make sure you go through the South Gate? I could just a little. three human, three human adult scoots in from the gate by a trash can in a big boulder near a newspaper, but not close to the screen. Just gallop in and if you can scooper off of the ground, you know, and onto the back

of your horse. I'm going to go in the West entrance. And that's a good choice. Honestly, I get it. Honestly, it's one of the better ones. You're going to have a great approach to the park. I'll make my way down to the south entrance if you'd like, but I'm going in the west. Absolutely, and I wouldn't discourage it.

Have a great time, enjoy that valley of light. Dalton, so great to see you. So long. Byron, are you sticking around? I think, yes, for a little while longer. Okay, great, okay. But the grids, you're Gris appearing. You had such a good exit or

Brexit, I guess. Gris, the Gris. Grexit. Grexit. OK, Grexit. All right. All right. Grexit stage left. Randy, what are you doing? Scott, we're off to argue with each other in the backyard.

Got it. OK, understood. So I appreciate this. I'll remember every single one of you that sided with each other in the backyard. Got it. Okay. Understood. Yeah. I appreciate this. I'll remember every single one of you that sided with Karissa the next time I am on the podcast. Okay. Just come up with a new password. Is this a live fan fire? No. All right.

We have so much more show to get to, but Manchester Orchestra, are you guys ready to play another song? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. What do you say? Which one is this going to be? Of course, we just heard Bedhead the first single and what what are you gonna play here? This one is called keel timing keel timing. What does that mean? It's up for interpretation. What does it mean to you?

You know you tell you tell us cuz you wrote it. I would much rather prefer to hear No, no I would much rather you just explain it cuz I don't have the kind of time where I like Sift through your lyrics and pick out clues and shit. I'll tell you what, I feel like this is sort of like a Wikipedia thing. I think we just go to Keele and figure out what that means. Okay, all right.

All right, well, you've grabbed your instruments. We're all set to go. Here we go. This is Manchester Orchestra with Keele Timing on Comedy Bang Bang. ["Comedy Bang Bang. Thunder inside my head, rolling're the cops I am rolling Now don't let him in your bed The lion

Don't let him in your bed He is lying a little more, a little more He is biting I was folding, slowly frozen, changed for you It was holy Oh, I think I'll start again Slowly, I'll pre-arrange my head Slowly, if I'm the woods, then you're the fire in a low bin I was smokin' red like glowin' flame

For you, it wasn't mine But it wasn't wrong, it was holy So hold me now No I will not repeat myself So hold me down No I will not repeat myself There's something inside my head It's growing

Yeah, something inside my chest It's growing, a little more, a little more It is holy I've been coping, slowly slipping, changed The truth, it wasn't right, and it wasn't wrong It's been holy So love me now, no I will not repeat myself So love me now, yeah all our deals repeat myself There's comfort in the constant quote Put in the constant quote Now I'm awake and I don't know how Oh, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. All right, let's go to a break.

We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang, we are back, 12th anniversary episode, so many people left during the break but we're still here of course with Jason Manzou, because the J-Dawg is here! Hey-o! So happy to be here! And of course, Robert and Andy from Manchester Orchestra still here, the Million Masks of God, a great album people can listen to, I really enjoyed those first two songs that you guys played. And I'm expecting that's not going to change with the third that we have at the end of the show. Is that right? Fingers crossed. Yeah. Okay, we'll see.

Have you ever written like two songs and then been like, that's about it. I don't think I can write another good one. Yeah, unfortunately, yes. Yeah, that happens. But we, a lot of people left during the break, but we have someone back here who just joined the Zoom. And we were roommates for a little while during the pan, during the Demi. And we have split up since then. Yeah, during the full disclosure during the Demi, we were roommates. Yeah, I'm calling it Pandy.

Pandy, I like it, yeah. Sort of like designer, Pandy, Pandy, Pandy. Pandy, Pandy, Pandy. Pandy, Mindy. Please welcome back to the show, I don't know whether he has it previously, but please welcome back Sprague the Whisperer. Scotty the Archman, how are you, Scott?

Doing so good, Sprague. So, I mean, I know I moved out, but I miss you, bud. It's so great to see you. I miss you too, my bud. The Zooks man is here. Look at this guy. Sprague, I'll be honest. I mentioned you earlier at the beginning of the show when people were introduced

who had a lot of back exposition. And I said what we need. Byron Denniston really needed a previously on, to be honest. What we need was a Sprague the Whisperer previously on Comedy Bang Bang. Well, here's the thing. I don't think Sprague did that, I think that might have been a Rudy North thing. Whoops. You know, just for the fans. What? Look, I'll say, I will say, this character of course is obsessed with canon so I could see understanding

the mix of them. My sincerest apologies, that is a Rudy North, I'm so sorry. The CVB wiki is going crazy right now. Oh my god, They're constantly trying to update and then delete, then update, then delete. Have you ever heard this? Previously on Comedy Bang Bang. It doesn't work. You have such a weak, feckless voice. It's like a little, I'm like a little cuck. Okay, I don't know about that. Well, Scott, I want to, let me just say Scott, I am so happy to be here, but I'm, I'm a little bit sad, Scott, because I know it's the 12th anniversary, Scott.

Yeah, we're closing out the 12th year and we're about to embark upon the 13th. Oh, we've done a dozen years and Scott, I had a gift. I was going to get you a gift and I couldn't get it, Scott. Oh, no, what did you have for me? So of course, we all know traditionally the 12th year is the year of the get it Scott. Oh no, what did you have for me? So of course we all know traditionally the 12th year is the year of the pearl Scott. Wow. I was hoping for a pearl necklace from you.

And yes Scott, I was gonna try to get you some pearls. So first of all, I Googled, first thing I did was I was like, are pearls marbles? Because like, I'm not sure. Such a good question. Meaning like marbles the kids game? Yeah, like I remember I was like, okay, I want to get this guy some pearls,

but are those just marbles, you know? So I looked that up and- Were there any results? Did you get to the bottom of it? Yes, because it immediately says, it says, we understand why you're asking this question. That's what Yahoo Answers says. Okay, they're very kind.

That's what it says. It says, I understand why you're asking this question. That's what Yahoo Answers says. Okay, they're very kind. That's what it says. It says, I understand why you're asking this question. And well, of course, you know, pearls come from, I guess, the ocean. Yeah, oyster mouths. Yeah, so I, okay, so this oyster mouth thing, I had to really, so apparently they collect sand

and through the filtering of it, they create this pearl. I had a really fun time watching some documentaries about that, Scott. Okay. Just took a while. I watched a few docs and looked up some YouTube videos. There's a lot of time lapse sort of like descriptions of what it might look like for a pearl deform, but no one really knows. It's such a mystery, Scott. It's really fun. Well, sure. Those oysters, they have their mouths closed the whole time. Yeah. And when they open it back up, there's a pearl. We don't have cameras inside the oyster. We don't have an oyster cam.

Yeah, wait, I think, wait a minute, should we figure that out? Should we figure out an oyster cam? This is not a bad idea. That's a GoPro. That's a Pornhub search. I think. I think.

I think. I think. A brother and sister in there and you got something. Am I dripping milk right now? Oh no. We're talking Tang. We're talking Tang. The Tangy brine of the salt water on a-

Gosh, I don't want to know what was happening before I was on this thing because- I know, yeah. We had the Grizz here, all sorts of stuff was going on. Oh, the Grizz was here. Well, that's- So anyways, I figured out this clam thing. So that was one thing. So that took me a couple of days, Scott. Okay. And then I was like, all right, so I got to get some pearls. So first of all,

got to learn how to scuba dive. Oh, sure. I guess if you really want to go from from farm to table with a pearl. So I went to one of those resorts where they teach you how to scuba dive in the little mini pool, you know, and they put the thing on me. I could not stop having a panic attack, Scotty. Oh yeah. Well well it's tough, you know, I mean to have a self-contained underwater breathing apparatus strapped to you. Yeah. It really is, you know, it's a lot of machinery

and man was maybe not meant to breathe underwater. I was gonna say, next thing you know, you're underwater, where it's like, that's very dangerous and claustrophobic. So right now I'm doing some immersion therapy to figure that out, Scott. But as soon as I figure out how to do that, I'm gonna get you some pearls. You don't need to give me anything, Sprague.

But Scott, it's your 12th anniversary. I just have, I feel like I failed you, Scott. No, Sprague, you can never fail me, as tight as we are. Scotty, I just, you know, I came here empty handed. I don't know what I'm gonna do, Scott. You know what it is, you know what I'll do? Maybe I'll come up with a new podcast idea for us to do. Okay, well I don't know what I'm gonna do, Scott. You know what it is, you know what I'll do? Maybe I'll come up with a new podcast idea for us to do.

There's a gift. Well, I don't know about that. Maybe I think that might be something. I mean, it could be the gift of the podcast. I do have to say last week, we talked about how I'd never seen Space Jam. I was listening to that and I'm going to say, there's at least two episodes.

You sure Space Jam one? Space Jam two. We bring in Langston, me, you, Langston. We watch the two Space Jam movies. Sounds fun, all right. And I say we do a pod for every 30 minutes. That's what we're supposed to do. All right.

Look, I'm easy. Or if it's Space Jam, you should do a pod for every character. Oh. Yes, we do it through their perspective. And just follow their chronology. Yes. What they're part of. So why is- It's Space Jam Rashomon. Oh, yes, we do. And just follow their chronology. Yes. What their possible. So why is.

Space Jam Rashomon. Yeah, so it's just so what Marvin the Martian's whole experience previous to and then arriving at the game. So we understand his whole storyline. You know, everybody. This is great because you know, I heard in this next one, there's going to be like hundreds of characters from the Warner Brothers IP so we could do episodes from the perspective of the guys from A Clockwork Orange, you know? Or Voldemort. There's a lot of really weird people in

the crowd if you look at the... Yeah, or what about Ellen DeGeneres from her show? Sure. She tapes on the Warner Brothers lot. Wait, that's good. They could pop out. Okay, she'd just yell at all the basketball players. Okay, does. Wait, wait, wait. That's good. They could pop out. OK, Scott, this is great. She'd just yell at all the basketball players. OK, here's what we do, Scott. We're writing Space Jam 3, which is the Space Jam Rashomon. So we've got to follow every... OK, Space Jam 3 Rashomon Ninja. Rashomon Ninja.

And we have to go back and follow every character so we can figure out the timeline, so we can sort of do an end game, sort of like time travel back into like... This was when Lola Bunny was backstage. And then- Is it like a multiverse? I think we're doing a multiverse right now.

I think we're figuring it out. This is great. This is a space, so you're suggesting Space Jam is a multiverse. Yes, I'm calling it the Jam-a-verse. Okay. Anointed at the Jam-a-verse. Are the characters from the back in action verse there?

Because you know, famously I wrote one joke in Looney Tunes back in action. Well, we can bring those in Scott. We can bring in all the versions of the Looney Tunes. I have experience here. We can do it. We can do it all Scott. This is great. I think this is a good idea.

All right. Well, Spray, this is a good idea. I'm glad to have it. Jason, you're out. As long as we all are in agreement that Peppy the Pew is out. No, he is canceled. Actually, what we do is we do an episode where we say we want to talk about this the significance of Pepe the Pew in this movie, and then we do two hours of silence. Okay, great. Maybe like in the middle, we do like a

four hymns commercial or something. Can you do two hours of silence? I'm not quite sure. No score to do. I would have to mute. That is John Cage's podcast. Oh yeah that's someone else's podcast. Oh yes. Well Sprague, this is a, you have a deal. If we can get Langston. Langston's very busy though. So I did come with a gift. This is great. Okay yeah a brand new podcast idea. I got a brand new podcast. He's got a new podcast. Oh, that's us Rudy too. Oh no. ZBB Wiggies going crazy. Check, check. Sound speeds. Sound speeds. Check. I know who this is. Hello? What's happening here? It's working. Scott. Who is it? Is this Gino? Yes, this is Gino Lombardo. I received. Gino Lombardo, you sound so far away. I am. I'm all the way out at Hexure State Park at the end of Southern State Parkway, almost in Suffolk County, I am. I'm all the way out at Hexer State Park at the end of Southern State Parkway, almost

in Suffolk County, Long Island. I was set by train. I don't know where that is. He's still out of breath. Is that what the setup he wants? How do you get that by train? Yeah, how do you get that by train? Is that what you need?

The Southern State Parkway is a highway. Oh, okay. You use a car. Jesus Christ, what are you, a comedy bang bang listener on any social media platform? Any other reference to this character is fine. Hello, Scott. I'm at a CIA black site. I'm sorry, I had to call you.

I'm being deprogrammed. What happened to you? Obviously the last we've heard of you is in your own show, the Gina Lombardo show. There was a really funny final episode that a great guy guest starred on. Yeah, that's right. I didn't know it was gonna be the season finale, but you guessed it on the last episode of season two, and things got a little hairy.

I gained too much clout. I touched a live wire that is the right-wing comedy fans. I got a taste of the juice of the success and the money, and I couldn't get away from it. And shit fucking spiraled. I had fucking Scaramouche on the pod. That was fun. Then I get Jordan Peterson. Next thing I know, my Patreon's got 25,000 subscribers and I'm trying to come up with hot takes about how kids need to

get shot and shit and I don't even know. Scott, I'm in too deep, man. The money is too good. Hold on. Hold on. Deon, we should get this clean so we could put it in before. Previously on the Gino Lombardo podcast. No, your voice is too weak and feckless. It's feckless, I can't do it. Also, isn't that Rudy's thing? It is, it is.

But I just do feel like that was a pretty good previously. We got what we needed. No, we got what we needed. So what's happening right now? Right now, well, I don't wanna get into too many details, but the CIA CIA is deprogramming me and I'm sorry, I'm a little fuzzy. It's day one after my shot. So I'm being a little. Wait, you're just day one on your deprogramming? No, no, they are shooting me up every day with assorted. I got saltpita yesterday and then truth serum today and then lying serum two days ago. I don't know.

It was distilled screenplay pages from Jim Carrey's Liar Liar. Oh, well, they figured out how to distill those. They figured it out. They've been in the lab. Not exactly. They figured it out. I wish.

They cracked the Liar Liar code. My goodness. I mean, Gino, this is, I mean, I'm scared for you, my bro. You should be. Are you on the run right now? I wish I was on the run. They got me fucking in a above ground pool filled with cement up to my waist.

So I'm stuck, I'm like a centaur where the bottom half of me is in an above ground pool filled with cement. How do you do number ones and number twos? I'm not positive. Okay? Just every once in a while, the above ground pool expands slightly. I feel the sensation. Like it feels like I'm urinating. Okay. Just every once in a while the above ground pool expands slightly.

I feel the sensation. Like it feels like I'm urinating and shitting, but I don't, I don't feel the relief. It's kind of like a crack like in an earthquake or something. You're building up a little pressure there. I'm scared for you, Gino. Well Gino, we need you out of there so you can finally go back to your own show so you can clear up all of your canon so then you can come back to this show and it's not weird. Wouldn't that be perfect?

Well, if only, if only all the things that have happened to me have been previously recorded, we could output it in a very easy to listen to series for Stitcher Premium. We could do a third season of Gino Lombardo on Stitcher Premium explaining what's happened to me in my interim, which would allow me to just come back to a podcast that's easy to track down. And we wouldn't have to go through all this. Oh my God. But unfortunately, that's not the case. That's not the case.

That is the case. Sports dudes were great. Sports dudes, I'm a huge fan. I was able to get those guys in the CIA black site We have stitch agreement here. The CIA was one of the few people to figure it out They love the interface. Yeah Well, they're always on reddit saying the interface is great. Look Gino. Thank you so much for being on I mean in making some time for us. I really appreciate it. Okay. Oh shit. All right, I have to go

Hopefully there's some way I'm able to release a third season of the Gino Lombardo show that would premiere sometime in what you are calling Earth summer, okay Thank you Gino We might need to get that guy at Canon rehab Scott because he's OD over there well rehab Scott because he's O'Deag over there. Well, wow, an incredible, this is just a star studded episode. Andy and Robert, what do you think about all that? I'm blown away. These guys, like I said before, these guys are monopolizing too much of the episode.

Yeah, guys, cut it down. Oh, just sitting in amazement, slowly crying. All right, well, we do need to get to our next guest. They are coming on together. And this is interesting. I guess they're from the world of sports, but I'm not quite sure. This is the first time they've ever been on the show, maybe,

or maybe they have. I don't quite know. All I have is their names here, but please welcome to the show, Harls Barkley and Rabbi Bill Walton. Shalom, Scott. Hey. Shalom, Scott Ockerman. Scott, thank you for having me.

I sure do appreciate it, Scott. I tell you, I don't really do too many, you know, podcasticles and things like that. And I just want to say, thank you. I'm here with my friends. So really, truly. Now you asked me to pronounce your name Charles Barkley. Charles Barkley, yes.

Charles Barkley, yes. Well, I'm going to let my friend Bill tell you why. Oh, first of all, Scott, happy to be on Comedy Bang Bang. Yes. Some of my favorite, first of all, Scott, happy to be on Comedy Bang Bang. Yes! With some of my favorite, Spring the Whisperer, one of the great whisperers of all time from- Love this guy's energy. One of the yin yang twins to the other of the yin yang twins.

Wow, he runs the gamut. Wow! Not to mention Manchester Orchestra, one of the great orchestras of all time, from Unknown Mortal to- Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, orchestras of all time, from Unknown Mortal to... The whole of My Havish. My Havish. There we go. Do you need more help than previous appearances with

completing your analogies? Oh, I made it. I made it. Sometimes you just kind of kill a little time with us and um. It's the classic announcers trick. You just feel space. Yeah. Have you been on the show before or are you new? I've been on the show before, Scott. OK, but not in this capacity. Harle's and I and by the way, Jason Manzoukas, one of the great Jason's of all time, from the purveyor of a deli Jason's deli down the street

from me on Oracle Road in Tucson, Arizona, to Jason, ah, Vorhees. Vorhees. Vorhees, one of the great murderers of all time, of course. Sure, of course. Prolific murderer. I'm the prolific murderer.

You forgot to mention the Electric Light Orchestra. Of course. Thank you. Thank you, Carl. I am Mr. Blue Guy, because I forgot that and I am sad I missed it. Do you think they're saying Mr. Blue Guy? Yes. Hey, Mr. Blue Guy, please tell us why you had to hide away.

You're so sad. Okay. All right. But Charles and I are here to- Yeah, tell us what is your deal, because I'm not quite grasping what you guys are. Yeah, are you guys Jewish now? We're Jewish now. Thank you.

And we are doing what we do for every podcast when it reaches its 12th or 13th year, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, or as we call it for this one, the Scott Mitzvah. Happy Scott Mitzvah. Now, I see this is a rite of passage. I love this. The Scott Mitzvah, thank you. Allow me to explain, Scott. This is a rite of passage. I love this.

Thank you. Allow me to explain, Scott. So your podcast is a man now. No, thank you, Charles. I think Bill actually, Rabbi Bill rather, explained it to us. Wait a minute. I have a question, Charles. I didn't know you were...

Charles. Charles. Charles, like hollow bread. When did you convert? I didn't know this was a part of your personality, Charles. I'm glad you asked, Sprague. Now... Okay. I like that, too. I converted not too long ago. I was in Miami and I was looking for a place that could serve a matzoh ball soup because I had COVID. And I heard that that was the best for it.

And so I walked to this place and I looked at all the teachers that they had on the menu. And I said, I'm going to do this here. Okay. And that's exactly what I did. I'm a Judas now this here. OK. And that's exactly what I did. I'm a Judas now. OK. Wow. And then Rabbi Bill, I didn't realize you were a rabbi.

I didn't even realize you were part of the tribe. I became rabbinically ordained when I realized so many podcasts were entering into their manhood or womanhood year and they needed to be welcomed into it. Are you going to be on WTF?

Yes. I did a bar mark Yes, I did a bar mark, Marks the, I did a bar mark, Marks the. I did a bar mark, Marks the. I did a bar mark, Marks the. I did a bar mark, Marks the. I did a bar mark, Marks the. When it is 13th year and we got into it and I wept, I wept at the beauty of the occasion.

And Carl's joined me on that of course. We do duel because we're each kind of half Jewish, what we know about the religion and put together one full Jew. I was there. I said, Mark, every time I listen to your show, you talk so much about them damn cats at the beginning of the show.

And I just wanna hear, I just wanna hear the comedian come on and talk about his life. I wanna hear what David Taylor got to say. I don't care about them damn cats, Mark. I wanna hear what President Obama got to say, I don't care about them damn cats, Mark. I want to hear what President Obama got to say. He's talking about the cats on the store. Carl's Berkeley stole Boomer. We were in there and Carl stole Boomer and ran off with him.

No, Carl's, put him back. I took that cat and I took him right to the zoo because that's where cats belong. That's not where cats belong. Cats belong at the zoo. They're domesticated animals. It's interesting because some cats, you know, some cats do belong in That's not where cats belong. Cats belong at the zoo. They're domesticated animals. It's interesting cause some cats, you know, some cats do belong in the zoo.

That's true. Well, yeah. Like big cats, yeah. But I would think if you brought a house cat to the zoo and let it loose, that is essentially feeding that cat to larger predators. With someone as big as Charles Barkley, it's like any cat's just like, yeah, fucking Panther.

That's like a house cat to me. I'm a big guy. So I understand the confusion. That's exactly why I took the cat. I took the cat right to the Panther den and I walked right in the Panther den. I said, listen here now, this cat is going to live with y'all. So feed it right and you know, do what you got to do. I don't know what y'all eat, birds, turtles,

something like that. So boomer's gone. Boomer's definitely not living. Probably is with the Panthers. Communicates with animals is incredible. Harle's head away with the Panthers that I've never seen. Are you guys, when you do this, are you going to the zoo like off hours? Like are the gates locked? I just step right over the gate.

Me and Bill just step right over it. Zoos are not protected against basketball players. That's their one weakness. Yeah. Every zoo disappearance you've ever heard of was actually a basketball player theft all through history from the great snake of the Brooklyn Zoo to, of course, the murder of Harambe. Rest in peace was killed by Bill Russell.

Bill Russell shot Harambe. Whoa, what? Huge reveal. Whoa. Bill Russell shot that gorilla. Oh my God. Wow. Well, guys, I'm seeing someone else just came on the Zoom.

I hope you don't mind if I introduce her. I don't know anything about this person other than they are an actor. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Charlotte Hornet. Hi, Scott. Hi. Hey. Hey, so nice to meet you.

This is Sprague the Whisperer. Hi, Sprague. I'm Sprague, super producer, of course, Sprague the Whisperer. Awesome. This is Jason Manzougas, who you may remember from The Dictator. It's nice to meet you, Charlotte. Did you ever see The Dictator?

I was in a movie called The Dictator. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah, yeah. OK. Yeah. Spelled the same way? It was spelled D-I-C-K-T-A-T-E-R. Oh, OK. Here we go. Here we go.

I'm going to have to maybe get off. I don't know if I could be around for this, Scott. This is going to get crazy. Wait, you just get off when things get crazy? Here's the thing, right now I'm in sort of a sex addicts anonymous right now, and if this could be triggering for me. I didn't know that.

Scott, it's something I haven't talked to you about, but I don't wanna get baby with that. You were a sex addict the entire time we were roommates? I never heard you, you know, getting down or anything like that. Scott, canonically, that might be the case. OK, OK. I don't I don't want the producer to leave.

I feel like the producer should be here because I want to audition for your podcast. OK, stick around. OK. Oh, yeah. This is an audition to be on the podcast. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I feel like I feel like we should have that more often, honestly. OK, yeah. Quality control, you know? A little QC.

This is Manchester Orchestra, by the way. This is Robert and Andy, they're a band called Manchester Orchestra. Very nice to meet you. Amazing. Amazing. That's awesome. Nice to meet you. And then we have Rabbi Bill Walton and we have Harls Barclay.

Hello. How you doing? Okay. Harls, I'm great. Harls, is this, this is not the actual Harls or is this is this a different Harls? I think I think we figured out that it is these are the people they've just changed their names They because of their conversion to Judaism Jewish does not make you not a person anymore Charlotte I want to say that loud and clear. We are two full peoples

Full of judious peoples. You're one Jewish man and one non-Jewish man put together. Yes. Yes, standing on top of each other's shoulders trying to get into a film. Wearing an enormous trench coat. Like all rabbis do. Yeah, this is amazing.

This is so awesome to be here. I'm so excited to be here. Well, welcome. You want an audition? How can we audition? Yeah, did you You want to audition? How can we audition you? Yeah, did you want me to slate? Yeah, please. Okay. Age, my age, my sex, and my location.

Oh, I didn't realize that people slated their locations. That's like an AOL chat room thing. Age, I am 31 years old. Sex, yes. And location. No, but really, what sex. Sex, yes. And location. No, but really, what sex? Sex? Well, what do you think I am, Scott?

Let's play a game. What do you think I am? There are a lot of guests on this show that I say the wrong thing. And I don't, you know, from Entree Pinure who to Judge Joe Brown. I don't know who any of those people are. So never heard of them.

31 is too old for a lady to be on TV. You get three. For a lady to be on TV. Harle's, that was a crazy take there. Wow, what's so crazy about that? Did you see a 31 year old lady on TV and all this high def and 4k, all the wrinkles and things? Okay, cool.

Okay, new Harle's. We got to let this, We got to let him sleep. OK, Scott, you get four guesses to guess what my sex is. I would, I mean, your name's Charlotte. I would imagine you're a female, but I don't know. Wrong. Keep going. Male? No, keep going. OK, do you want me to just tell you?

I go to get it. I go to guess. OK, OK, Spr it. Okay. Okay. Spray doggy style. No, my favorite position is CEO. Okay. Anyway, anyway, any fucking way. Um, I'm actually highly experienced in sex. So, oh, okay. I don't know that that's going to come in handy on this show, but comedy bang bang It's not a part. It's not a porno podcast. You think this is a porno podcast The name would suggest it's a porno podcast When you have people on like like dirtied man's Jason Manzoukis, I understand the mistake you do

Do you fuck do you fuck? Yes, Charlie. Do you fuck? Not in quite some time. No. No. He's talking tang all the time, though. Sure, yeah, dripping milk. Listen, I'm talking tang, yes.

And I can understand Comedy Bang Bang. The title might give you the perception. It's a funny porno, right? Yeah. You know what? Has there ever been a porn parody of Comedy Bang Bang? Question mark? I don't think there has. I don't think it was popular enough on television. So I... That's too bad.

I feel like the producer spray could literally check right now. This is something a producer would do. He's not the producer of this show necessarily. He's a producer. Ninja films. Hey, Scott. Scott, can we start that podcast, me and you? Are you talking Tang to me? Unfortunately, Talking Tang has been reserved from Jason Manzoukas. Oh, damn.

That is Talking Tang and Drippin' Milk are two of my podcasts. This is my kind of podcast, Talking Tang and Drippin' Milk. I guess Charlotte, here's the question. What did you expect to do on sort of an audio pod, audio porn podcast? Is it like, is it like faking an orgasm? Like in when Harry met Sally or Girlfriend experience.

Was that a porn when Harry met Sally? I don't know that part. I guess the title kind of sounds like a porn. I mean, the faking of the orgasm was, was, was porn. That was the one pornographic part. I'm sure there is a porn version of when Harry met Sally. Again, I feel like this is something we could easily check.

I would love to see Billy Crystal naked in front of us. Look, here's the thing. You know, this is my work computer. You know, I can't be fucking out of here. I feel like we could easily check anybody. There's so many people on this podcast right now. I feel like anybody right now could get on a window and check, is there a porno for Harry and Sally?

Just open the window and check. I don't know that we can. Well, did you want to audition? Yeah, Scott, what do you want me to do, Scotty? Oh, I don't know. I don't know if I can be around for this. This is getting kind of... I'm sorry, Sprague, but I'm gonna keep it PG-13.

Here's what I think would be a good version of the audition is you should, the character that you would play would arrive with a funny, specific, bizarre point of view that would be introduced before any kind of sex happens. So there would be, so the audition, I suspect would have to do with that, that character's unique point of view. This is a master class in auditioning for anything.

You must come in with a specific point of view. Don't just say the lines. Have a point of view for your character that's interesting to the people watching. Thank you, Rabbi Bill Walton. I'm an amazing rabbi. I didn't realize you auditioned for things, Bill. I thought you were offer only. Yes, I auditioned for my giant.

I auditioned for the Millicrystal role. We might need you guys for Space Jam. The sequel we're writing. I was in the first one. Oh, yes. OK. Bill, if you were in my giant, they would have had to pick an even more giant person.

So is that why you didn't get the part? No, it's because I refuse to let anyone stand near me on an apple box. Oh, OK. OK, should I start my audition? I was also in an episode of Hangul with Mr. Cooper. Yeah, please, start your audition. Charlotte Hornet. So interesting point of view. We haven't also, a hang one mr.. Cooper. Please start your audition Charlotte, okay, so

Interesting point of view we haven't also we haven't said my location. We know where I am Hollywood, baby, okay, so My being Charlie home of the Charlotte Hornet. No No hornet is my last name. It's a pure coincidence and also this isn't my government name. I thought this was a porno That's my poor name Charlotte hornet. Oh My real name is my government name. I thought this was a porno. That's my porn name, Charlotte Hornet. Oh, oh, okay. My real name is Charlotte Sims. So, yeah, but did you want my... Oh, are you one of the Sims? Are you one of the famous Sims?

Like the video game? No, Scott, that's a bad joke. No joke. Actually, really... Maybe she gets comedy and maybe could just do comedy. We've got people from Pokemon on this show. Okay, I'm here to do a funny porno. Is everybody ready? All right, I'm ready. Yeah, go ahead. and maybe could just do comedy. We've got people from Pokemon on this show. I'm here to do a funny porno.

Is everybody ready? All right, I'm ready. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, point of view is that I walk in, I'm a plumber, but my pants aren't low-waisted. I'm wearing high-waisted jeans and I have a belt on, so no ass crack. Okay, so walk in.

Who wants to play with me in this? Yeah, Charles. I'm happy to. Charles, I do. I'm happy to. Charles, I think. OK, Charles. Everybody on this podcast is bitch made. Anybody want to play with me? I said, you said me.

I already said I was guy got cocky. OK, OK, Chuck. Chuck. It's me and you. All right. Chuck. It's me and you. You call me to your house. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck Barkley. Cuck. Cuck Barkley. Got it. OK. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck.

Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. sketch several months ago. This is, by the way, this is a successful audition. This is how you get on Comedy Band Day. I'm cracking up right now. This is a good character. You're coming up. Did you say, OK, great.

I'm ready. OK, so you called me over because your toilet is clogged. And I am a plumber with high-waisted jeans on and a belt. You initiate, and I'll go from there. All right. Excuse me, Mr. Plumber. I took a big old massive dookie in the toilet and I didn't have no toilet paper.

And so I used the old piece of t-shirt that I had lying around, but I forgot that one. I'm sorry, you had a piece of t-shirt laying around. Just one piece? Yeah, sometimes I like to rip the t-shirt or it's too tight around my neck. I rip it down the front a little bit and I take a nice little V out and I have one laying around.

You could just buy V neck t-shirts, Charles. Hold on, you're not in the scene. Sorry, sorry. I thought it was your roommate. Oh, you live with me? Sure. Okay, well this is my roommate. I'm like, you know, a free loading part of your posse.

Okay, Scott, don't, you can show us without telling us and that's improv. And that's actually improv. Yeah, so show us. You know a lot about improv. She's very good at this. She's very good. Because, okay, I actually studied, I actually study at the Upright Citizens Brigade. The porno charity of that? What? The Upr, Caucasians. You got a question here? Wait, we got a question.

What do you want to say? I just had an update. I did look for the Harry Met Sally. Oh, what do we got? Harry ate Sally. Oh, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. It doesn't rhyme with met, so that's, you know, points off for that.

It should be Harry ate Sally's ass. For the millennials. What about why is seven afraid of nine, seven, eight, nine? Right, right, right. Or it could have been like Harry put his meat on Sally. I'm going to say, Charlotte, you are hilarious and also very good at sex. I will say this. I don't know that Charlotte even needs to audition. I think you're on the show. As far as I'm concerned, she's got the job. I think I've got the job. If you've got the job, but let's just hear a little bit

of the scene with you and Carl here because. All right, back in. Carl, Carl. Red leather, yellow leather. OK. All right, here it goes. All right, so I was taking a big old Stanky Dookie, and I used a piece of a t-shirt.

You did tell me that already. And then this is my roommate, his name is Scott Ackerman. You may remember him from Just Shoot Me. And he's one of my favorite. I played a very horny photography student. One of my favorite actors. And he lives with me now because he's falling on hard times. And I took him in because I'm a nice guy.

At what point do I get to chime in? Oh, I thought you wanted me to, I'm sorry. Please, will you take a look at my toilet? This is the whole initiative. Carl's is not a very generous person. Will you take a look at my toilet? Will you please take a look at my toilet? I would love to take a look at your toilet.

Will you come with me? Yeah, come on. It's right in here. Sprague, by the way, got so horny he left the Zoom. He said it was too much for him and that's the power of acting. Oh my god. So, I'm taking a look. Someone's in here! Someone's in here! Oh shit, that's my other roommate, Bill Walton. Come back and look at the... see if you can see out back. I got the septic tank. I pulled it up out the ground. So, but why is he, okay, I have so many questions. Why is he announcing someone's in there

as though he's using the bathroom if the toilet is totally clogged? That's just Bill. Bill likes to take baths. And he's probably taking a nice salt, Epsom salt bath. A Epsom salt bath in a shit up bathroom. Okay, I got it. He likes to poop like Tetris,

where he's like fitting in between the stuff that's already there, you know? You all know so much about my bathroom habits, thank you! Okay. All right. What do you need me to do now? I'm gonna have you turn around, Mr. Carl Barkley, and I'm gonna have, I'm gonna take... Cuck.

It's cuck with the H in there, yeah? Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck Barkley. He's a Jewish cuck. Cuck. It's cuck with the H in there, yeah? Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck. Cuck Barkley. He's a Jewish cuck. Oh, God.

We have gone off the rails, retired trans. There were, speaking of rails, sir, I'm gonna need you to turn around. Okay, I don't get to participate. All right. What's going on? Okay, I'm turning, I'm turning around. Oh, okay. I don't get to participate. All right. What's going on? Okay, I'm turning, I'm turning around. What y'all about to do?

Yeah, who did you want to turn around? Both of us? Everyone turn around. Okay, we're turned around. Y'all don't want me to look? All right, we have our backs to you. I guess Bill Walton has his front to the toilet now. Bill, I would really appreciate it.

Bill, I would really appreciate it. Bill, I would really appreciate it if you put clothes on right now. I know what you think this is, that you think you're gonna run a train, but you're not. Cause I'm the conductor. So you're gonna have to exit the bathroom, Bill. Wow, one of the great dominations I've ever experienced. I will sub for you any day, Charlotte Hornet.

Tell me what to do, step on me. I'll kiss your feet. Whatever you ask. No, I actually want you to leave. This is not. Yes, yes, yes, yes, ma'am. No, no, Bill. This isn't a sex thing. I need you to leave.

Oh, baby, I'm out of here. Thank you so much, ma'am. I was cooking some andouille sausage on the stove. Can I go check on it? Sure. All right. See you, Charles. I'll take care of the plumber. Don't worry.

OK. OK. Hi. Hi, ma'am. OK. Hi, Scott. Your belt is so high. And it's on the last loop as well. That was a detail I didn't see. So you want to get out of here?

Yeah. Let's get out of here Pizza delivery. Oh, yes. I was just making some and do it sauce to put on the pizza You can order it with pizza now Because I don't like Charles, you can order it with pizza now. I don't like the sausage that got down at that pizza place. I have a I have a sausage pizza minus the sausage. Yeah, I don't like it. I like I don't like the sausage that y'all got down that pizza place is nasty. I like to cook my own and do it.

I put it over. I make a cage of pizza. Can we have two pieces in the car? OK, your car sounds like a motorcycle. First of all, yeah, it's specialty made. No, this is a motorcycle. There are no doors. It's not specially made. Why you gotta blow up my spotlight? This is a motorcycle and there's one fucking seat and I'm not getting in here with you. I'm gonna fuck one of the guys in this house. Come on, but you're gonna have to wait to about 30 minutes after I eat this pizza because I got to eat these, I gotta take these antacids.

I'm so sorry that we were unable to put lactate on the pizza. Y'all always getting something wrong down there and every time that y'all bring me a salad, I ask for the salad, y'all bring me a salad, I ask for the salad, y'all always got too many ingredients on the salad. Y'all put the big old. We use anything that's left over, anything that's about to go bad,

we just put it in and call it a salad. Y'all put them big old peppers on the salad. Yeah. Do any of you assholes care that there is a plumber with high-waisted jeans and a six-inch waist in your house right now ready to fuck? We gon' pay you, goddamn it. We gon' pay you the money. You ain't fixed the goddamn toilet yet, you told me. We can't fucking tell the toilet's fixed.

I was just gonna ask, like, do you have a restroom I can use? No! We ain't got one right now. Pizza man, you can come with me to the bathroom. Okay. I would love to. And scene. Wow. I would love to. And scene. Wow. Thank you so much. Okay. Did I book it?

I think you booked it. Yeah, you're on the show. We're not gonna react to this. Book it and cook it. Am I a series regular on Comedy Bang Bang? You certainly are. Probably recurring. I can join in now.

So this is a porn podcast after all, because everyone seemed to know what the fuck they were doing. Yeah, we were very, very adept at our scene there. Yeah. Wow. You know, Sprague got too horny. He had to leave. And we are just about running out of time here, guys.

We need to wrap it up. But we do have one final feature if you guys are willing to participate, and that is, of of course a little something called plugs Oh baby, that was the Plug habit to in too deep by quiet Wyatt Thank you so much to quiet Wyatt. That was incredible Manchester Orchestra, are you ever gonna make me a plugs theme or what's going on? You guys are make these professional songs and you put out records and you never make me a plugs theme We'll do it. We'll put it on the Wikipedia and we'll make

I'm still waiting for a song about Hanong Man. Yeah, no one's ever done Hanong Man. Or the Dink Dink Man, or the Chronicles of the Dink Dink Man. Yeah, a rock opera, you know? Like Challenge Accepted, gentlemen. Thank you. What else are you doing during COVID?

You made this album a year ago and then have not written a single rock opera since then? I mean, apparently you guys consider God's Mask more important than the Chronicles of the Ding Ding. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with Manchester Orchestra. Well guys, what are you plugging? Obviously you have the million masks of God, which just came out on Friday, and people are able to buy it.

And where do you, if people were to buy it, can they buy it from your website, or would you prefer they do it in stores? What do you got? Go ahead. Yeah, they can buy it from your website or would you prefer they do it in stores? What do you got? Yeah, they, they can buy it at our website, the Manchesterorchestra.com. Do you abdicate all this information to Robert? Is that what happens here? Cause Andy-

I just remember it's business stuff. I dropped it out. Okay. You're, you're party in the back, Robert, your business in the front. Okay. I was conflicted because you, I also want to say support indie retail. That's also important. Go to the store, go to your local record store

and pick it up. And we've been doing signings for different record stores across the country. So. Very cool. Are you going to be out here in LA at any point doing Amoeba Records or anything like that? I hope so.

It's all been, you know, as you know, Zoom performances and stuff like that. So it'd be nice to eventually get in front of some people. Can, yes, in terms of supporting local stores and local record stores, but also to get it on your website, that's like truly supporting you guys, right? Yes, that is.

Like that's the best way to support you, the band. That is correct. Yes, it is. One of each. One of each, yeah. Buy one in Indie record store, buy one from your website, buy one from the Virgin Megastore, you know, and then just stream it on Spotify and put those in the

basement. No, you know, I heard that Megastore got laid. Oh, whoa! Megastore, fuck! Throw it down, Jason Manchukas with the big joke to close out the podcast one more time. Clutch. Clutch. Well, thank you Manchester Orchestra, and you're going to play one last song for us at the end. But before we do that, Jason, you got anything to plug? I'll plug my podcast with Paul Sheer and June Diane Rayfield called How Did This Get Made, which is also right here on the Earwolf Network. And also, I voiced one of the characters on the animated show on Amazon called invincible. Yes Based on the Robert Kirkman comic book. It's really fun. I would urge everybody to check it out

Yes, our good friend Robert Kirkman Bobby Kirk's Bobby Kirk's as we call him all the time. That's a great show invincible You can get that on Amazon. All right, let's see Rabbi Bill Walton. What do you got to plug here? I suppose I would rather have my hair be lit on fire than be lowered into a tub of ice water. Oh, that's right. This is not would you rather, unfortunately. Oh, excuse me. You always get that wrong.

My favorite part of getting it wrong is the moment where you have literally no idea what's going on. Every time. I've caught on this your fourth time. I've finally caught on to what's going on. No! But of course, you're a fan of certain podcasts I know. Yes, go to BigGrandeWebsite.com to see the group Big Grande's podcasts. You can get a limited edition podcast directly from the group

much like buying records directly from the band or you can go to patreon.com slash you're the man now dog for an improv and conversation podcast wonderful all right uh well Carl's Barkley what what do you have to plug here yeah I want to talk about that pizza place that came by the house. Yeah, okay. I'm putting those big, big ass peppers on the pizza because they're only good sometimes. But also- How are they to know which times they're good and which times you don't like them though? It depends on what type of dressing they use. I tell you the dressing's pretty good at a ranch.

Those are two I like. All right. Other than that, go to patreon.com slash the flagrant ones. That's basketball podcast. And they got some other stuff on there too. So listen to that. Listen to that. Yeah.

All right, very good. And Charlotte Hornet, what do you have to plug here? Okay, well, not too much. I'm gonna be a series regular on comedy, bang bang, porno podcast. I guess we're going from humanities podcast into the porno podcast. Yeah, and that. Why not? I'll beat you to this, Scott, my second time meeting you. I'll beat you to this, Scott, my second time meeting you, perhaps people could watch a comedy program that comes on late Saturdays. It's called Saturday Night Live, but Scott has said it should be potentially called Sunday.

Two-thirds of it is on Sunday morning, which is just... Sunday morning live. It's bad advertising. It should be one-third Saturday night, two third Saturday morning live, right? Sunday morning. Sunday morning. That should be the whole title. What it should just be is Saturday into Sunday night, morning live.

Or like, hey, thanks for watching live. Yeah. Yeah. Just like the only two real days of the weekend live, whatever. You mean we could go, we could pitch if you want to kind of. Or like only virgins watch this show because everyone else is out fucking. How about Thunder Day Night Live? But everyone who might be on the show is definitely fucking as well. Okay, well that's good to know. Whoa, this just in! The cast of Saturday Night Live is having sex with people. Wow.

Well, I wanna plug, Freedom is my other podcast that I do with Paul F. Tompkins and Lauren Lapkus. That comes out on Thursdays. That's just the three of us sitting around and talking and playing games. That's fun. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

My friends, Ben and Horatio. Do you guys wanna try something? Do you guys wanna maybe try to sing something here? Open nation. When you see something open, get a rope up and start to twist. Then you'll find that you're getting a little eye mist. You think you're crying and you know what to do Get up in there and do what you do You gotta open up the pub bag

Open it up Open up the pub bag And make sure it's not closed Open up the pub bag Make sure that it's not closed Open up the club, man Make sure you got oxygen Hey, don't mess around with it Make sure you don't mess around with it Don't mess around with me

Make sure you don't mess around I see you dancing at the fiscal day Wow, that was exceptional. That was Why Can't We Plug Friends by Chicken Pluggets. That was great. Thank you so much to Chicken Pluggets for that. And guys, I want to thank you so much. Jason, so great to have you on. I appreciate you being here. Thanks so much. Jason, so great to have you on. I appreciate you being here. Thanks so much. Congratulations. Happy anniversary.

Of course. And, uh, Harls and Rabbi Bill, I don't know whether we ever really solidified what your deal was, but I appreciate you being here. Oh, we'll be back. Okay, great. And, uh, you know, thanks to our previous guests as well. We have the Grizz and of course, Byron Denniston and Sprague and Marjorie and Randy and Carissa. I don't think I'm forgetting anyone.

Dalton Wilcox. Dalton Wilcox, of course. And I want to thank our new friend. We have Charlotte Hornet here. Thank you so much for being on here. Thank you, Scott. Hi, thanks so much. Oh, so you're pretty late to say hi.

To say thank you though, appreciate it. Yeah, hi. And the very last thing we have to do here is Manchester Orchestra. Are you guys ready to play another song? We are. Thank you so much for having us. This has been amazing.

It's our pleasure to have you, one of my favorite bands. Thank you so much. And what is this song that you're about to play here? This one is called Telepath. Telepath. Is this about someone you know, a relative or? It's about three generations of sort of the same couple. OK. Oh, interesting. All right. I'm not sure if that was the serious answer or.

It was. Yes. Pulling my leg. I was actually. I appreciate it. Sorry about that. OK. Oh, no, that's all right. People can be. Everyone has been deadly serious on this episode. All right. Let's hear it. You guys have actually me. I appreciate it. Sorry about that. Okay, no, that's all right. We, people can be, everyone has been deadly serious on this episode. All right, let's hear it. You guys have your instruments. Okay, great.

Here we go. This is Manchester Orchestra with Telepath. One, two, three, four. ["Manchester Orchestra"] We are now at the end of our drive Hold right on down the line baby, you can have my soul Baby do you want me? Baby do you want me? Baby do you want me? No, no, no Within your mind this is a new and glorious morning We are now at the end of our drive. Next to row I never learned to swim Baby do you love me?

Baby do you love me? Baby do you love me? No, no, no In my mind you are the road I chose to travel Might as well have been the very last thing I decide Half the time I'm lost, afraid to just borrow Don't matter much to me, man, I'm not afraid to die Baby are you with me? Do you forgive me? You're the one I want

You're the one I want when I'm old Baby are you with me? Do you forgive me? You're the one I want You're the one I want when I'm old When I'm old, when I'm falling When I'm falling Oh, wonderful, wonderful. Amazing. Guys, thank you so much for being here. We'll see you next week for the beginning of our 13th year.

We'll see you next time. Thanks, bye. Buh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-du