Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Jason Mantzoukas, Mary Holland, Tim Baltz (Teenage Dirtbag)

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

Originally titled "Who CBBeefed?", this is the fourth installment of our "Teenage Dirtbag" series featuring Jennifer Spot. Jason “Heynong Man” Mantzoukas is back to join Scott to talk about his new film The House, improvising alongside Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell, and horse rights. Then, senior class president nominee Jennifer Spot stops by to tell us about her platform and why we should vote for her. Plus, artist Jason Turley takes us through a couple of his adult coloring books that help beat the stress and heat. (Originally released as Episode #495 on 6/29/17) Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

Hey everyone, this is Scott Aukerman and welcome to another Bonus Bang where we re-release great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang from behind the paywall. This week we are continuing with our Teenage Dirtbags series featuring some of the fun teenage characters we've had on the show. And this week it is Jennifer Spott played by Mary Holland.

Jennifer Spott is a high school student running for student body president at Hindenburg High School and has a really interesting platform. This episode was titled Who C.B. Beefed, originally released on June 29, 2017. It also features Jason Manzoukas and Tim Balz, who you may know from The Righteous Gemstones, as Jason Turley, an adult coloring bookmaker. Adult coloring bookmaker. Okay, well, if you enjoyed this episode and you want to hear the other episodes featuring Jennifer Spot, become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com.

We have all of the past episodes all in the archives, plus we have every live show we've ever done, ad free new episodes, bonus shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn't Seen, so much stuff over there. We're gonna be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang! I I hope my final words are avoid the noid welcome to comedy bang bang I hope they are too you're open I hope they're spoken to me wait are you gonna have your hands around my neck perhaps welcome to comedy bang bang thank you to Tom lucky for that lucky catchphrase submission boo you don't like wordplay already

Now you're not gonna be a critic of the show no Gaging you're not gonna sign letter grades. You're just gonna boo. It's pass fail with you. It is By the way This is a bonus episode special emergency Bonus Uh, this is a bonus episode, special emergency episode. B-b-b-b-b-bonus! Can I do that? No, we don't do that. Am I allowed to do that?

No, you're not allowed to do that. I'm not? That's for one person only. I'm not allowed to do that. No, sir. My apologies to the person who owns that catchphrase. If on Monday's episode we were balls deep in June, now we've stuck the balls directly

inside the vagina in June. Really? Because we're at the very end of the month. We're just cramming those balls right on in there. We are indeed, because- Just shoving them in. Special emergency shes- sheshen. Oh, boy.

This may be the first time I've spoken today. Are you wasted? Are you wasted? I went to your premiere last night, and I got fucked up. Yeah, bro! Special emergency session of Comedy Bang Bang. I'm Scott Aukerman, your host,

and we have a very special guest across the pond from me, if this table is a pond. Jason Manzoukas, star and above the title. I was surprised to see this, at least of the one poster. Oh, oh, oh, okay. The one poster I saw. Yep, okay, great. Above the title for the upcoming movie out this Friday,

The House, Jason Manzoukas is here. Hello, Jay Dog. How are you, my friend? I am, don't worry about me. I haven't seen that poster. I have to see that poster. Cool Up took a picture of it. Oh good, never send it to me.

My future wife Cool Up? Yes, you're holding stacks of money. Oh yeah. Amy is holding cards. Great. And Will. We're on message. We're on message. We're on message.

Will had nothing to hold. I don't know. Nope. Nope. There was no other plot point? Not a lot of people know this, but Will Ferrell doesn't hold things in pictures. He doesn't. Nope.

He really makes him uncomfortable. And now that I'm thinking about it, every single time I've seen a movie of his, I look at his hands. You'll never see him holding anything. He's never held anything. And a lot of times he's framed so that his hands are below the camera. Why is that? Do they not work?

You're going to have to ask him. Some sort camera. Why is that? Do they not work? You're gonna have to ask him. Some sort of Bob Dole situation? You're gonna have to ask him in his weird hand thing. That, by the way, don't ask him about it though. Oh, okay. Don't, he did. I'm thinking about the elf, he never held a candy cane.

Nope, never held anything. Elves hold candy canes. Never held anything an elf. That's so strange. And a lot of times, if you see him holding something, it's like a hand reaching from below frame that you assume is his. Sort of like Marty McFly's Back to the Future hand that disappeared. Totally. He has one of those hand guys. Eddie Murphy has a total

body double. Anything other than the close-up is the body double. Correct. But Will has a hand guy. Hand guy. Now I have a hand guy myself, but it's a totally different thing. What is it? He gives me hand jobs, Jason. Great. And how are they? Jobs are on the rise. By the way, I was gonna say, employment is going great. Those jobs numbers are really great. Jason, let's talk about the house because as far as I know, this is your first film

since The Dictator. Correct. And... Two movies, one career. because as far as I know this is your first film since The Dictator. Correct. And uh... Two movies, one career. Uh, I saw this last night. You were kind enough to invite me to the premiere. Of course. As one of my dearest friends, I would have been heartbroken if you hadn't come.

Would you really? Of course. I would have cried. I would have wept. This was your big night. I would have sat on one of those weird leather sofas at the party and just wept. That would have been so sad. I'm so glad I came up. I had no idea that any of that was going on. I just casually said, oh, yeah, I may as well go.

Exactly. Class story of our relationship. I was at the premiere of this film last night and I have to say, great. I didn't know what to expect. Yep. I expecting a movie. No, I was not. So you really I thought I was going to have no idea.

You had no idea what to do. Absolutely not. When they informed me it was a movie. I was pleasantly surprised. I am a casual acquaintance to film. Yep. And I all I had

seen were the posters and most of the posters doance to film. Yep. And all I had seen were the posters. Sure. And most of the posters do not feature you. Correct. It's Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler. Yes. And I saw this film last night and I and Coolop and the rest of the audience total delight the entire film.

All right. Incredibly funny. This is a rave. I, you know what? No, I mean right now this is a rave. I, you know what? No, I mean right now this is a r and so I was a little fearful seeing this last night because I knew you were gonna be on the show today. And what if I didn't like it? What if it was a tepid kind of thing?

Although you know, you and I are used to- And you couldn't do that thing and be like, oh, I wasn't able to see it. You know? Oh. You know, oh, I could, they sent me a link, but it didn't work. No, you would not, I could they sent me a link but it didn't work No, you would not I would know this actually happened Christian Bruhn invited me to a film of his and

I had just gotten back from Some sort of trip and Literally three minutes in I started having the worst stomach problems and I'm sitting near him Oh, no five minutes in I walked out of the film and I'm sitting near him. Oh no. Five minutes in, I walked out of the film and had to... To go shit your brains out.

Yeah. And had to give him like... And it was so bad that I couldn't just like go shit in the bathroom. And come back. And come back. It was so bad I had... Go take a shower.

This had to be a specialty tour. That was the kind of shit that requires a shower afterwards. Exactly. And it just sounds like such a weak excuse of like oh I had my tummy was grumbling minutes in I decided a bad case the grumbles but it was entirely true if he's listening this and let's be honest we know but no your film the funniest film of the year it's so good it. And it's got all of our friends in it. It's got Lenin, it's got Jess.

It's got Nicole, Michaela. Randall Park. Yeah, Huel's got a big part. Oh yeah. It's got everybody in it. It's got Andrea Savage. There's like a lot of Rory Scoville, Kyle Canane. It's like.

It's incredible. They did a very good job, I will say, hiring all people we know. Yeah. Which I was very excited about. And the script is really, really funny. It's kind of a return to form for Will Ferrell and Amy in a way of like, I don't even know if I've seen Amy do an R rated film like this. I don't know that you have.

I just remember her in like PG films. Yeah. The most part. This is like a hard arm. This is a hard arm movie. This is a hard R movie. This is a hard R movie. It's a lot like Will Ferrell, it's totally kind of like old school in a way. It's kind of like him doing those types of movies again. It's like basically them going off the rails.

Like what if your suburban parents like lost their fucking minds? Great script, great direction, seems like there was improv, although I don't know. Oh no, there was a lot of improv. Too much improv. I did not envy the people who had to cut that movie. Really?

Because there was hundreds of hours of stuff. Good ol' Snippy. Yep. Oh yeah, you know him? Snippy McChoppers? No, it's... Snippy McAdvid? I feel like this film is a lot like a plane that's trying to bomb another country. It's flying under the radar. Oh boy

I'm times in these times. That's where you're gonna go Wow, and what I mean pretty tone deaf what I'm worried about it Obviously baby driver this week is getting the old CB great movie great movie I love everybody already, but it wants only but I feel as if The house is getting short shrift and I want people to know about it. I want people to consider Jason Manzoukas as a movie star now. His name is above the title. That means he is one of the three stars of this movie and I want people to go see it.

And I think fans of this show would really, really like it. You are just a delight. Thank you. Well, my pleasure. You must be very proud of it. You are just a delight. Thank you. Well, my pleasure. You must be very proud of yourself. You're a big boy now. Yeah, no, and you let me sit in the big chair. I did.

It was very exciting. Usually you're at the kids' table when you take the show. You told me I could look at you today. No, it's been pretty weird, you know? I'll be honest. It's like I've never been this version of involved in something this big.

It's pretty bananas. Usually, Jason Manzuchas is the kind of guy you call when you have like... Two scenes that you want him to be real gross in and probably be wearing just underwear. That is, I'm pretty good at that. But no, this was like something I was like, oh wait, I have to like actually play a character

who starts off in one place and ends in another and have like an emotional journey. Did you have an acting coach? Yes, of course I had an acting coach. Of course. Who was this? Of course I had an acting coach. I've been studying acting for many, many years with Jeff Goldblum.

Really? He's just one of the greats. He was on the show recently about a week ago. Oh, was he? Yes, as a fly. I wish he was my acting coach, but he is a delightful man. But no, I didn't work with an acting coach, because mostly I just, you know, improvise and be goofy all the time.

Right, right. So there's that. And like, do fake tears. What is it, fake tears? Yeah, lots of like, fake crying. What is it like being in scenes with Will and Amy? That must be a dream come true. They're two of comedy's greatest stars.

Is this a junket? Is this a junket question? As a matter of fact the junket started right now. Wait are you being paid to do this interview? No but really listen I think comedy fans and look let's let's be honest people listening to the show are comedy fans. Do you think comedy fans listen to this show? Be honest. Sure. Let's be honest. I can't tell. Do you think the people that listen to this show are fans of comedy? I think it's fans of, they have a morbid curiosity of what's going on right here. But I also believe this truly is the show where we speak to interesting people. Oh my god. And so I think that's a lot, that's maybe 90% of our listeners like to hear about the

interesting people with whom we speak. Oh, you know what, you're probably right. But I do also believe comedy fans will be interested. What is it like, I mean, in a junk you're gonna give a one-sentence answer, what is it like showing up on the day? Had you ever improvised with Will Ferrell before? You know Amy, you've done Ask Catwith her, obviously. Yeah, no, I've known Amy for like, you know, going back to UCB New York, you know, late 90s. I believe when I met you, you both were in the show that I did a monologue.

Exactly, you did monologues at. Exactly, in New York. So I know Amy and have been improvising with Amy for 16 years. So that's old news when you get to the steps. Like, oh, hey. Like, I will say, I think what partially what makes this movie very fun is the familiarity that almost everybody has with each other. I might not have improvised with Will before, but Amy had, and I know Will. And so everybody immediately slipped into just very easy bits.

Just bits, city. Bits and poking at each other and trying to make, like, aggressively trying to make people break. Right. Trying, trying, trying to ruin takes. Trying to ruin takes. There is such a funny outtake, by the way, the very last one during the credits.

Which, what is it? In the garage with the three of you with Will. I don't want to give it away. But Amy is laughing immediately. Oh, immediately. And it's so funny, I wish it had made the film. I wish she hadn't been laughing. And that kept, I wish they hadn't cut

even the blooper short because it's such a longer thing that keeps trying, we keep trying to restart again and keep going with it and it just will not work. I would love to see the uninterrupted take. I would too. Could you send that to me please? Put it out. We're calling for Warner Brothers to put that unedited blooper out in its entirety. What are you afraid of Warner Brothers? Is this picture the Brothers Warner?

Yes it is. Really? How is it working for them? You know what? They're the greatest. Did you go to the WB lot a lot? Every day. Every day I drove onto that lot. To the old dubba dubba.

Gate four, baby. Is that where it was shot? Yeah. Really? Yep. We shot it in a big giant studio. We had to switch studios very dramatically. What happened? Oh, no. We didn't switch they just someone fart someone farted

and everybody couldn't handle it and everybody kept being like who beefed remember when you used to say who beefed yes how come we don't say that well let's get it back going huh yeah let's get who beefed going again this name of this episode who beefed who beefed yep who beefed is that a shirt who beefed yeah although I bet it of this episode, Who Beefed. Who Beefed. Yep. Who Beefed. Is that a shirt, Who Beefed? Yeah, although I bet it's a shirt that exists. Yeah, it probably exists already. Although not with a CBB logo on it. Who CB beefed? Hey, who CB beefed? There we go.

There it is. That's the title. Name above the title. And now we can just cuss. And that's it for this episode of Comedy Bang Bang. Jason Manzoukas in Who's He Bebeefed? I think the show should always end when the titular line is discovered. Really? So we're just gonna end it here? Yep. That's it for this episode. That would be interesting if they just stopped cold. Some of them were two minutes long, some of them were... And now we're going to plugs. Well Jason, congratulations. This is very exciting for you. I was very excited for you when you got the dictator, and obviously that didn't work out quite the way that everyone wanted it to work out. But this is even more exciting, and I want everyone to see this. Oh, man. Gotta get those digs.

Gotta get the digs. Gotta get the digs. Gotta get them. Gotta get them. Gotta get them. Get those digs, baby. No, it's really great. I implore everyone to go see it this weekend, because this-

Thank you, by the way. I will say this, thank you so much for holding your explosive diarrhea in during this movie. Yes. I know that it interrupts a lot of movie viewing for you, but I appreciate it. When I found out this was a movie, it was bad news. Because I had a good 90 minutes

of explosive diarrhea in my future. And it only had like three cups of black coffee and a spoonful of rancid mayonnaise. That was all. That's all I had to eat today. Well, congratulations. We're gonna take a little break. I love breaks, of course.

I mean, this is the show where we speak with interesting people and, or where we talk to interesting people, Well, congratulations. We're gonna take a little break. I love breaks, of course. I love it. This is the show where we speak with interesting people and, or where we talk to interesting people. Is that the tagline? What do you want it to be? The show where we talk to interesting people. That's very catchy. And then we take breaks and sell them nonsense. So we're gonna take one of those breaks. When we come back, we're gonna have one of those interesting people. We have, coming up a little later on the show, we have an artist and after this break on the other side we'll have a politician.

In these times, that's very exciting to talk to a politician. You know what? I'm thrilled to get into it. What are the issues you have right now? You know, same as everybody, you know, jobs, the care sure, you know horse rights all of these things Horse rights. Yeah, I haven't heard that way. That's that's unfamiliar to me See and that's part of the problem rights that horses have. Yeah. Yeah, what horse? What rights do you believe horses should have all the same rights that you and I have didn't meaning the right to vote

Yeah, the right to why shouldn't horses be allowed to vote? Give me an honest answer why they shouldn't. I mean, they don't know English. That's one thing. Oh, well. Wow. Wow. Okay. Oh no, no, no. That's not what I meant. That's not- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wow. There it is. Hold on. Hold on. There it is, listeners. Oh no. There's that bias. Let me backtrack. Let me backtrack. Look, look, let's take a break.

I'll think about what I want to say about horses. When we come back, we'll have more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Bum-ba-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum- Drops and all that stuff. Do you mean just drops of your actual voice? Saying the things that you've always seen my patented catchphrases. Mm-hmm. What do you got? Let's hang on man You know man, of course even hang on band. We have not by the way you just did to me Have you been you texted me recently said you've been getting a lot of hate on? Uh-huh. Very good We've talked about the pluralization. Is it Hanong men? Have you been getting a lot of Hanong men?

Or Hanong men? I was just in New York City and I got a ton of it. Somebody screamed at me from a moving car, like very aggressively, to the point where I thought I was about to be murdered by a fan. But it was urgent and loud and like above, well above the din of New York City. Really? Yeah, it was urgent and loud and like above well above the

din of New York City. Really? Yeah it was a good one. That was a great one. And I try and give I try and get it's one of the only things I will try and engage every single person who says Hey Nong Man to me. I will return Hey Nong Man but the number of people who scream hey Raffi! You just ignore it. But you know if it's a Hey Nong Man it's a very special type of person. Yeah, it's a real weird nerd. You weird nerds, you get it. You get it. I mean, you've built your whole career on weird nerds. Oh, categorically, yes. Oh, yeah. It was just... Oh, and the Del Close Improv Festival, Del Close Marathon rather, at UCB was this past weekend, and a lot of Hanong man.

Yeah, that's great. A lot of comedy bang bang's, obviously. What shows did you do? Before we get to our next guest, what shows did you do? I did... Any interesting? I did... I did Manzoukas Brothers.

Oh, that's right. Who's that with? It's usually with Ed Herbstman, but this time it was with Tammy Sager because Ed Herbstman could not make it due to volunteer fireman duties. What? Absolutely. Doesn't that mean that he cannot go to it if he's a volunteer? No, he had like something to go do for the volunteer fireman.

Meaning something got set on fire. No, no, it was like, I don't know, it was like a test or something. It was like a training, because our show is in the afternoon. So it was like a training day, testing day. You have to take tests to become a volunteer fireman? He told me this crazy story where they have to do an obstacle course. Like an intense obstacle course in all the gear,

in the tanks and all of it. And you have to part the obstacle. Are you on fire? No, but part of the obstacle course is you have to find your way into, you have to find holes of escape and get through them while your mask is totally blacked out to simulate smoke giving you zero visibility.

It sounded terrifying. Who would do this? My very dear friend. Just to be a volunteer? Yeah. To save lives. I would do that to get paid. To be a hero.

I don't know, I would do that for me. I would do it for six figures, definitely like mid six figures. Mid six? Yeah. 550. 550 is what I would do that for me. I would do it for Six figures definitely like mid six figures mid six. Yeah, five fifty five fifty is what I would do it Five fifty you would you would do you would do the job of a volunteer fireman or you would do the test I would just do the test you do there would be an option for another six figures Do you think at what point at what financial? Yeah, what number what do you become brave? What number gets me to brave?

Yes. Okay, do I have the money I have now? No. Okay. Oh, sorry, yes. I have the money I have now? Yes. No, no amount of money.

No amount of money. No. I'm good. You're just like, you're just stewing in cowardice. Yeah, I'm fine. I get it. I'm fine. Yup.

All right. We need to get to our next guest This is the show where we speak to interesting or talk to interesting people. That's more catchy, right? I think so the show where we talk to interesting people on billboards that show That show like that 70s show that 70s show where we talk to interesting people in the 20 teens the show Where where we talk the show where we talk to interesting people. The show wherein interesting people are spoken to by us. Not bad.

That seems cleaner. That's definitely cleaner than what you do. That's like Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction. Yeah, the clean, Mr. Wolf. Let's get to our next guest. This is very exciting. In these troubled times, we need to have people out there who are representing our interests,

and this person is undoubtedly one of those. She is a politician. Please welcome Jennifer Spott. Hello, Jennifer. Hi, I'm Jennifer Spott. I'm a two-time senior and a big-time winner. I wash my hair with olive oil and I never think twice. Vote for me, the future is ours.

Oh, that's... I must say to our listeners, you say two-time senior, you're not an elderly woman. Oh no, no, I'm a two-time high school senior. Yeah, you look to be a young girl to me. Yeah, yeah, I'm 18. Scott, don't be weird. Don't be weird about it. Every time high school senior. Yeah, you look to be a young girl to me. Yeah, yeah. I'm 18. Scott, don't be weird. Don't be weird about it.

Wait, just judging people's ages is weird now? No, no, no. Here's what you just did. You look to be a young girl to me. I am young. No, I know, but like- Barely legal. Oh boy. Oh boy.

Wait, how barely? How barely? One month. Whoa! Happy birthday. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. We're just going to be saying it in 11 months. Yep. One month! Woah! Happy birthday! Congratulations! Thank you! We're just going to be saying it in 11 months.

What's the cutoff for saying happy birthday? When someone just had a birthday. I mean, especially if it's as momentous as 18 or 21 or 30. I say six weeks. You can keep saying it to me my whole life if you want to. Happy birthday! Thank you! What did you do for your birthday?

Oh, I didn't do anything. You see, I'm involved in about 13 extracurricular activities. Oh! It's part of my goal of being the most involved student at Hinderburg High School. Hinderburg? Hinderburg. Haven't heard of that one. Hinderburg.

So it's not like the Hindeburg. It's not like Hindenburg. No, but it's weird. Our mascot is the blue. What did you say? Hang on. Hindeburg. It's not like Hindenburg. No, but it's weird. Our mascot is the blue. What did you say? It's like Hind-e-burg. Hind-e-burg. Hind-e-burg.

Hind-e-burg. Are you guys Hind-e-burg? Wait, we have another title. Are you Hind-e-burg? Jason Manzoukas is Hind-e-burg. Hind-e-burg. It's like in the house, in a way, but in the city. It's like in the club, but in the burg.

It's like a Swedish hip hop dance movie. Alright, enough of you. Hind-e-burg. Let's enough of you. Hinderberg. Let's talk to Jennifer. Yeah, good. 13 activities. So yes, at Hinderberg High School, which you know, it is weird, our mascot is a blimp, but we do really well.

But the mascot is a blimp, but it's called Hinderberg. Right, that's right. Is that because there was a mistake, or was there, you couldn't call it Hinderberg? I don't know, the school was founded in 1819. Okay. That's an old school. That's for California? Yeah.

By whom? By prospectors and Indians? We don't know who. I don't know that we say Indians. Do we not say that anymore? I don't think so. I think we're meant. Cleveland does.

I understand for you non-English speakers are all meant to be derided, but I think we're supposed to say Native Americans. Explorers and adventurers, that's what we've heard. That's what we've been told. Founded your high school. Founded our high school. Was it like a one-room schoolhouse kind of situation that expanded? I don't know. Right now it's a building with 18 floors! 18 floors?

And 25 houses! Wait, what? 25 houses housed within the floors? Yeah, or on the property. It's like a community in a way. Oh, it's like a city almost. Yeah, it's a community. How many students in this high school?

There are 22,000. Oh, okay. It's a big school. many students in this high school? There are 22,000. Oh. It's a big school. This sounds like a college, like a university almost. It is almost. And that's why it's such a hard task running for student body president. It's really competitive.

There's a lot of people in the field. Yeah, I mean, you have a one in 22,000 chance, unless that's, I guess, four different grades. I don't think they're all running. Yeah, and there'd be freshmen, so four into 22,000 chance unless that's I guess four different grades. I don't think they're all running. Yeah, and it's there'd be freshmen solve it. So four into 22,000 is approximately 5,000 and something so you have a one in five thousand chance let's just say. Remember she's a two-time senior. So maybe math is not her strong suit. That's exactly right. I have an issue with math and that's why I haven't been able to complete my senior year.

Really? Let's test you out a little bit. Okay. Well, a squared plus b squared equals? Okay, a squared plus b squared equals, well you carry the troll and you time the dreams and no one... Time the dreams? And you envelope it all in a little squash and then... This is new, this is that new math.

You get, you get a honey bear! Honey bear? Honey bear? I mean, by the way, thank you for showing your work. Yes, and it's just as ridiculous as c squared when you think about it. I would love it if more math included envelopes, honey bears, dreams, scoops. See, that's the issue. I turn numbers into words when I do math problems. That's interesting. So you know how a lot of people, they feel colors or they... Synesthesia?

Yeah, synesthesia, exactly. You turn numbers into words. That's right. Exactly. And let's just, for sake of argument, I'm curious. What is the square root of 81? Square root of 81. Well, you push the blaze and you make the squirrels eat. And then, no, but don't forget,

don't forget you have to subtract the oranges. And then everybody's there and it's a hat. It's a hat. Which might be nine to her. It could be, yeah. So really we just need to figure out the translation of each of your words into numbers. It's kind of like a code almost.

It is, yeah. It's kind of like where that guy who was chemically castrated, who was that guy in World War II, you know, touring. Yep. We're trying to figure out the code. Yep. We got there.

The best kind of castration. Yep. The chemical kind. If you got to be castrated. If you got to go, you got to go chemical. Go chemical. Well, I would love for you to tell that to my math teacher. He refuses to pass me.

Mr. Hummingbird is a stick in the mud. Wait, now, is Hummingbird, is his name a number? Is he Mr. Four? Mr. Thirty-six? Or is it actually Hummingbird? It's the number thirty-six, but I pronounced him Mr. Hummingbird. Interesting. It is weird, though, that his last name is 36.

He worked for the CIA. Really? Is he up on that wall I've heard about? He is. I think that just might be dead people. Uh-oh. Unless they painted a mural of their favorite CIA employees. Well, we have murals all over the place in our school.

Is that something you're in favor of as somebody who's running for class president? Are you in favor of it? Absolutely. The future of our children in America is all about artists's running for class president? Are you in favor of it? Absolutely. The future of our children in America is all about artists and you have to dream if you want to live. And no one is going to give them a chance if they don't have the money or the funds.

So you got to get the funds. Artistry is so important. That's why all half of the extracurricular activities I'm involved in, I am involved in painting with colors. Painting with color. Yes. It's hard to paint black and white. Well, I'm also involved in a painting sepia tone color class.

And then also, don't forget, there's not enough rainbows out there. So I'm involved in the class that paints rainbows everywhere. Is this the gay studies class? You're trying to get more rainbows out there. Yes, because rainbows unite us all in love and hope and dreams and wishes. and no one can believe it

You're like a very passionate speaker and when you're talking like this you You know just for the listeners sake like your body is like you you're almost choreographed Don't say it like that. Your body Young you're young you're almost Legal body one month as an adult. Mmm. Please don't put your finger next to your mouth like that. Please don't do that.

Yum. My finger tastes like cherries. Have you been fingering cherries? No, I put on cherry lip balm. Oh. Okay, so your lips taste like it too. Yeah, exactly! Anyway, it's important to be a good orator as a politician. I learned that from everyone.

George Washington, Francis Bacon. The famous politician, Francis Bacon. Sure. Karl Marx. And of course, Winston Churchill. Of course, of course. Great man. The great Winnie Church. Oh, yes. Of course. Great man. The great Winnie Church.

Cloud WC. Have you ever heard of it? Sarah Silverman. All great politicians, great orators. All wonderful. Exactly. So, what is your platform? What do you?

Okay. These are the basic tenets of my platform. No more lunch lines. Done with them. So let's break this down. How are people going to get their lunch? Yeah. Oh, it's easy.

Is it like a lunch riot? I don't mean to challenge you on. Are you OK? I just mean is it? I'm not good at debates. Oh, it's not a debate. It's just clarification on your position. Yeah, I'm not going to try to shoot down your debates. I it's not a debate it's just clarification on your position. Yeah I'm not gonna try to shoot down your debates. Yeah so just how would a lunch

without lunch lines how would it work? Let's pretend you're you're it's lunchtime it's just about lunch time. Okay so buy. You have to buy. Okay. Bring, bring, bring. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, everybody organize, everybody goes at a different. Everybody meaning 22,000 people? Yes, everybody is assigned a different lunch time. So my lunch time would be troll, wallet, flap, glass. Okay. And that's when I go to get, and then someone else. troll wallet flap glass.

And that's when I go to get, and then someone else. I'm already foreseeing a lot of trouble. Yeah, are these lunchtimes spread out throughout the day? Yes, so somebody's lunchtime will be as soon as they arrive in the morning. Right, and someone might be 11.30 at night. Exactly. Oh, wait, are they individual lunchtimes? Yes, yes. 22.

So there's no lunch lineimes? Yes, yes. 22,000. So there's no lunch line. No lines. There's no line because each person gets one lunchtime. That's right. How long is- 22,000 people. You'd have to break them up by the second as well.

How long is lunch? Uh-huh. I mean, you know, not long. You get it, and then you go, here's the thing. You can eat it in class. So you can bring it back to class with you. Oh, I would think there would be a lot of coming and going from classes with people with food.

Yeah, nothing would get done, but no lines. Okay, by the way, you did it. If I were in school and heard nothing is gonna get done and there's no lunch lines, I might vote for her. And you can eat in class. Yeah. So it doesn't sound too bad. Great, great.

See, that was terrific, Jennifer. Thank you. All right, what else do you have? Thank you. Cancel the football team. Cancel? Do you think the football team is a TV show? Not disbanded. They're not being renewed for a second season.

No, I don't think the football team does anything for us. What do they do? What is football? And why are we doing it? Wait, are these real questions? We're not good at debate either. I'm not good at debate. Football is, you know, football is obviously a sport. It's a pastime that people enjoy watching because of the competitive nature of it. But also it gives, you know, schools a team to root for

in rivalries. What does it do for the economy or the future of our children? Well, they raise money by getting people to pay for the games. No, no, they don't, no. Very angry. Football team is, football team is not real or relevant. It's not, no one is doing it.

It's an institution based on the, you know, based on the possession of women as property, and it has nothing to do with our current political state or what we wanna accomplish as a school or as a student body. Jennifer, can I ask you a question? Have you ever dated a football player? No, yeah. Is that where this is coming from?

I don't know, it has nothing to do with him. My thoughts are my own and everything is independent. Okay, but who, what is this person's name? Kyle. Kyle? Kyle break up with you? Kyle Blarf. Kyle Blarf? Kyle Blarf?

Yeah. Oh, he sounds like a real Blarf. It doesn't matter. I don't care. It doesn't matter anyway. He's just a... doesn't matter. What position did he play? Quarterback. What was his number on his jersey?

Farts. Farts. Well, let's see. So Fart... hold on. Blarf. Farts. Farts. Hold on. Blarf farts is what the back of his shirt says. By the way, if we're cracking the code, usually the quarterback is within the first nine digits because they have a single number. So farts must be one through nine. Yeah, must represent one through nine. Interesting. That's not necessarily, oh I guess that's right. I see what you're saying. Got it. Yep. Okay, interesting. By the end of this, we're going to have a codex that we're going to put out to the audience. That we're going to send to Mr. 36. We're going to send to the audience so they'll understand everything.

So Kyle plays in football and... He does, and we went to the prom together. Oh, wow. The junior prom two years ago. Oh. So he's not even in school anymore? No, no, he graduated. He's good at math, but when he graduated, he broke up with me because he said, I didn't get it. Well, I mean, your graduation or my diploma.

Oh, I see. Well, it's hard. He's going to college, and you're still stuck in high school. That's a hard relationship to keep going, if you're both not going to college, or you're both not. He's going to be around those college girls, you know? What? Oh. You just blurted.

Wait, is that a number? Oh my gosh. It just really upset me. I don't know, just thinking about it. I haven't thought about him a lot of it Does that happen to you a lot when you get upset you kind of spit up like that? Yeah, okay? That's okay. That's why I'm The vomit is in the corners of your mouth

So I mean you guys must have just broken up because it's June and you must be going back to... No, this is her second... Yes, she's going, but I mean, we're in summer. Oh, I see what you're saying, because it's June now. Yeah, you're going back to school in September. So even if you were successful in, I will say this, Jennifer, in getting rid of the football program, Kyle Blarf would not be hurt.

Yes, he would. How? Because his memories, because of all his memories. He's an alum, he's an alum of the football program and his dad is the head coach. Oh. And so he would. Oh.

So Mr. Blarf. You wanted to get in on that? Yeah. Coach Blarf runs the football team. Uh huh. And so you'd be taking away his job. His whole living. That's right.

That would be a real hit for the Blarf family. And then Kyle may not be able to afford college anymore. Exactly. Stick him where it hurts. And then he would have to come back to town and... I don't know. I mean, I guess I haven't thought that far ahead, but... Are you sure you haven't? Yeah, I'm sure. Well, we're playing chess while you're playing checkers here

Something people say on Twitter these days. Oh really yeah, not familiar with it. Yeah Where where is Kyle going to college? Yale. Oh, so across the country even. Yale, Francisco. What now? Yale, Francisco. Is that Yale's west coast campus? Or is that?

UC San Francisco. Oh. Is that like a joke that you guys had where he's like, oh, I'm going to Yale, Francisco. Okay, great. Look, I have to warn you, I don't think this is gonna be a very popular part of your campaign, getting rid of the football team. So I would ditch that one.

I think, you know, the no lunch lines. You're on to something. It's a home run. Yeah, you're on to something. That's a promise that almost everybody can get behind. But you're gonna have 22,000 people, I'm sure a significant number of them are fans of the football.

Yeah, and there's probably thousands that play on the team. Yeah. But you're just like getting rid of work. Okay, okay, well how about this? How about I just cancel head coach Blarf? You sure? Do you mean murder? Wait, do you mean murder?

Let's just say eliminate him. From the schedule? From the formula. Wait, do you think life is in algorithm? Let's just say... She might be a math genius by the way. What do you mean, let's just say? And stop just saying things, just actually say things.

There's a lot of let's just say. Why don't we just say, he'll be terminated from the equation. Okay, got it. Okay, so you don't put that into your campaign. Don't actually say it out loud either. If you're really gonna do it, the less people that know the better. We'll cut it from the episode.

Yeah, definitely. We're definitely gonna cut that. Definitely gonna cut that. In fact, we already ended the episode once the title came out. Then what the heck am I doing here? I was hoping to get an endorsement from both of you. Oh, is that why you're here?

Yes. Our endorsements do carry a lot of sway in high school elections. I mean, you know, we're gonna see how the house gets the CBB bump this weekend. Yep. And so, you know, if you're looking for the CBB bump, maybe. That's what I'm looking for. Jennifer Spott for Student Body President. Give us one more part of your platform and we'll see exactly what we can do.

Yeah, I'm also just curious now that we've heard two, you know, like one really successful and one, you know, kind of in the middle. I'm wondering what else you're working with. More pets. How's that? More pets? Yeah. Are their pets allowed already? No, pets are allowed on the campus. So I think everyone should get a pet and that pet will be sort of like a school pet. Well yeah, but it's also an extension of their personality and of their soul. And it'll be like an avatar that can go into classrooms and learn if someone's sick. Okay, so... Oh, wow.

There's a lot to unpack here. Do the kids get to choose their pet, or is it chosen for them like, you know, the Sorting Hat? Is it like a spirit animal? It's like the Sorting Hat. Really nice reference, Scott. Oh, great. So, is there something sorting hat-esque that will give each kid a pet?

Me! Okay. So every kid will come up to me. That's right, and I assign them a pet, and then that pet is with them the whole school year. Well, let's try that on. Let's watch you assign a pet to Scott? Okay.

So I'm a kid. What do you have to do in order to make that happen? I'm not even legal. What? Ew. What are you doing? Ew. Don't be weird.

I'm saying I'm a high school kid. I'm getting into character. Don't be weird about it. I'm not legal. I'm not legal. It would be improper to have sex with me if you're a man your age Oh, so you're in wow okay got it. I'm just saying I'm in character does that make cool up a child molester This is me in character right now. What's your character? I'm not married to cool up in character. Oh, okay? What's your character's name? What's your character's name?

No, we have a barf and you're gonna do a quick Yeah, you're doubling down on this? You can't be queef, my best friend is queef. Chief queef. I'm Donjaminqueef. Isn't there a chief queef? There is a chief queef. Isn't that canon?

Queef. Donjaminqueef. Donjaminqueef, hello. Donjaminqueef. Hi Donjaminqueef. Is Donjamin one word or is it Don-jaminqueef? It's not like we jammin', no it's just one word, donjaman. Welcome to my presidential library.

Oh, wow. When was this erected? Just today. Is it within the 18 floors? Uh-huh, it's on the very top. Oh, wow. I'm in the mood and in the market for a pet. Well, of course, they're mandatory at this point.

Yes, thank you. Your mood is irrelevant. But I like it to. Yes, thank you. So your mood is irrelevant. No. But I like it to be considered, you know. First you have to kiss my ring. So needy. Donjaman Kweef, so needy. Kiss your ring, is that what you're doing?

Kiss my ring. That's right. Very good. And now you turn around three times. Woo, wee, wee! Okay, your animal has become clear to me. You are a marmot. A marmot? I'm allergic to marmots. How do you know? That fits. How do you know you're allergic? Because I once went to a marmot festival and I just could not stop sneezing. That's how you

know the marmot is for you. The more allergic you are to it, the more it's like you. That's why you don't like it. So it's allergic to me? Yeah, there's a long line. I thought this was a school without lines. Donjim and Queef just summarily dismissed. Fuck you. Really?

Vote for me. Even Jennifer's butt. Why are we still voting for you? You already won. Vote for me. Even Jennifer's butt doesn't like your characters. And scene. I don't know about this. I like it. Yeah really good. Donjimun Kweef gets a marmot. Do you want to play? Of course I do. All right who are you gonna be? How old are you? I am 18. Cool. How recently? How recently?

Like a month ago. Oh, happy birthday. Thank you so much. Wait a minute. This is sounding a lot like me. A lot of people had an 18th birthday just a month ago. I'm in high school. I'm at Hindeburg High School and I'm running for class president.

Oh no, are you alright? Ow, ow, ow. First of all, clean up the previous vomit. Ow, my nose. What'd you hit your nose on? The vomit, ow. Vomit is supposed to be soft, why do you have heart vomit? I don't know, I'm sick.

Oh God. Clean up the previous vomit and then clean up the recent vomit. Okay fine, wee wee wee. Grrr. Good morning, what are you here for? Oh, hi, how you doing? Tim.

Tim who? Oh, Tim Puss. Tim Puss, well it's very early in the morning. I was sleeping in my library. Tim Puss Wigfield? Oh, well, you know. Tim Puss is my first name. Tim Puss.

Is it your- Is that like Krampus? Tim Puss Wigfield, yep. Is it your assigned lunchtime? Is that why you're up this early? It is, I just picked up my lunch and I, you know what? I realized that I have yet to get my pet assigned. Oh!

So I wanted to stop by and get that. Well of course, come on into the... It is so interesting you have a lot of old fashioned curlers in your hair. Yeah, I gotta keep it volumized. Now, let me see. So, stand in front of me. Sure. And, here, I took my ring off and I was going to bed and then I just put my ring back on and kissed my ring.

Oh wow. And you wear it. Okay. More tongue. More tongue. That's good. Okay, now spin around three times. That ring is beautiful on your finger.

Now stuff it. Tastes like cherries too. Who is this guy? I'm sorry, I'm the creep. I'm watching. Dungeman, Dungeman Queef, you get out of here. I like to watch, so sue me. No surprise, Dungeman Queef is a real creep.

Anyway, so did you spin three times? Oh yeah. That was so fast. Yeah, I'm really fast like that. Your animal is a bullfrog. Oh, thank you so much. You're welcome. Anyway, I should get out of here.

All right. What are you up to later? Sleep. Okay, cool. All right. Take care. Bye. Tim Pulseulse Wigfield out Wait a minute if he's running for student body president. Oh also just one last thing

Are you holding a knife? No, this is a this is a potato flipper Got it. I just wanted to say Under the assumption that you will be graduating at the end of this year, I am currently running for student body president. Um, but- Please, I would love if you could, you know, maybe talk me up to the student body and- Kssk, kssk, kssk, kssk. Oh god, oh god.

Oh my god, what did you do? Oh my god, I don't know. Don't you mean queef? I'm a witness to this! No, you're not! I'm part of old god! Kssk, k have I done? This is not why I got into politics. Ugh! Kssk!

Kssk! Kssk! Don't stab your neck! Oh! Anyway, that's what I would do for my policies. Interesting. Yes. Mmm.

I'd die for them. That was a little Shakespearean. That really got ugly. Yeah, that was like a tragedy. Well, I'm really good at English. Yeah, oh really? Oh nice. And literature. Mm And literature. What's

your favorite book of all time? Probably The Truth Will Be Outed. What's that? Oh it's a series of short stories by Phil Collins. Phil singer? Are you thinking perhaps about the record no jacket required? Yeah, that might be what- Is that your favorite book? Uh, yeah. Your favorite book is the record no jacket required. It did have a gatefold sleeve. It was.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. All right, well, very good. Well, I don't know that I'm ready to give you my recommendation or endorsement yet. Oh, come on, please! Please! We'll see. Please! Don't whine. Don't whine, Jennifer.

Let's wait until the end of the show. We do have one more guest coming up. Maybe you could solicit his endorsement as well. Okay, I need all the endorsements I can get. Coming up after the break, we have an artist, so that's exciting. Ooh! There's an artist coming in!

Why is that just ready on your phone? Do you use that a lot? Mr. Puss? Why is that just ready on your phone? Do you use that a lot? Mr. Puss All right, we're gonna be right back with jennifer's spot more jason manzoukas and we have an artist coming up after this More comedy bang bang after this. We'll be right back Comedy bang bang we're back here jason manzoukas the house opens on Friday Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Manzoukas June 30th, go to the movies, buy all the tickets Buy em all

Buy em all You don't have to sit in every seat, a lot of people are worried if I buy every ticket in the movie theater I'm going to have to sit in every seat No I don't think people are worried about that at all Oh really? I think they're just worried they're going to get like somebody else is going to sneak in Also it's probably expensive. Yeah, but you know what spend those bucks.

Spend those bucks buko dolore. Yeah. We also have Jennifer Spod here who is running for senior class president. Did you run last year as well? Yep, sure did. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Too bad. But that's okay. This year you can vote for me and never trust a stranger. Who won last year?

Kyle. Oh boy. Okay, yeah. Did he do a good job? Yeah. Oh boy. What were some of his promises? No homework. Wait, so no one did homework?

No, we don't have homework anymore. The school sounds like a dream. His follow through is impressive. Yeah, or whatever. Wow. Is anyone learning things? Can I ask you a question? How long did you and Kyle go out for?

Two days. Oh, no. We went to prom together, and then the next day he said I didn't get it. Oh, your diploma. My diploma, and he might have been referring to other stuff too. I don't know. There's no way to know.

Did you consummate the relationship? Were you legal at this point? Hey, hey, hey, you know what? I'm interested in her sex life. OK. Oh. Thanks, Dunjum and Kweef. We did.

He braided my hair, and I kissed his forehead. Oh. That's very romantic. And you've kept the braids in, I've noticed. forehead. Oh, that's very romantic. And you've kept the braids in, I've noticed. Yeah, I haven't washed them once. It's cornrows. Yeah, it really hurts my skull. You look like Stella who got her groove back.

They're really tight on my head, but I love them, you know? It's a... Kyle put them in and I don't want to take them out. Sure. Oh, it's something to remember him by. While he's at Yale, Francisco. Studying cosmetology. We need to get to our next guest. This is very exciting. He's an artist, and that's all I really know about him,

but please welcome Jason Turley. Hello, Jason. Thanks for having me. Cool name. Thank you. Turley. Yeah, I guess you're referring to my first name, which is Jason. Yeah, we share a first name. Yeah you. Turley. Yeah, I guess you're referring to my first name. Yeah, we share a first name.

Yeah, that was fun. The whole time I've been sitting here waiting to introduce myself. Really, I just like was so surprised when Scott said it. I was like, is it me? But no, then he said Turley. It's pretty rare, right? Yeah, very rare. Yeah, it's a rare name.

Thank you for saying artist. That's a bit of a stretch. Oh, it is? Yeah. I make adult coloring books. Oh that's nice. Oh okay I've heard about these. These are coloring books for adults. Oh boy. Okay. Wow. Wow. What just happened? Did you think people might not have understood I make adult coloring books? I was trying to figure out a way to explain it. Well there are recent phenomenon. And you decided. But I couldn't figure out a way to explain it better

than reversing the word. His word order choice was the problem. You're like, oh, these listeners, they're not gonna know what's up. I gotta reverse this shit. That's like, that's that. Really make sense of it. That is great hosting right there.

That's great hosting. Why don't we do this? Why don't you describe what an adult coloring book is? Okay, so an adult coloring book is a great way to reduce anxiety in an adult's life. And it's also a way to just beat the stress, beat the heat, and waste time. So what I do is I draw situations, all kinds of situations. I have many different books out and they have different themes.

And then you kind of draw within the lines. Or if you're a bad little boy, you break the lines. Ooh! You draw across the lines. Oh my goodness. You're getting very excited. Yeah. I thought of bad... And why are they little boys?

I thought these were adult coloring books. Like you're burying your teeth? There's like a real energy to it. Oh my God. Now you can't stay within the lines and it brings a certain amount of peace to you. Yeah, sure. It's just like a switch flip.

That's right. I will say that is, I've, you know, I've had family members do adult coloring books and they do, they say it's very meditative and relaxing. It's very peaceful, it brings a lot of calm to your life, cause following the lines and staying within the lines, that can give you a sense of order in these turbulent times in which we live.

But then, if you wanna break the line, routine is good, but ain't nothing better than breaking routines and crossing those lines. Okay, okay, Jason, Jason, Jason Turley, I mean. Yeah, call me Turley. Or JT, do you ever get called JT? I wish. I'll call you JT.

He's a sex symbol, I'm no sex symbol. I got a pear-shaped body. My parents call me, my parents call me Grimace. Is that because of your mouth? No, I suspect because of the McDonald's character. If they call it because of my mouth, well I tell you, Grimace's mouth is the hottest part of his body. I don't mean that they're comparing your mouth to Grimace's mouth. I mean, you might be grimacing all the time. Oh, that's why they call him Grimace? I thought they called him Grimace because people look at him and they're like, eww, nasty!

Yeah, that's grimacing! Look at his sick pin body! So you do understand what grimacing is. Yeah, I get that, but Grimace's mouth is, he's a happy fella. Oh, sure. Okay, you're not understanding what I'm saying. Okay, look, Turley.

His attitude beats the heat. All right, Turley. And I'll tell you, he's feeling the heat. Look at his body. Yeah, oh yeah. Look at your body. And you would know, it's the, you share the same body.

Hey, look at your body. I see my body all the time. I can't avoid my body. You have a Whampler-esque physique, let's say. She's like an upside down grimace. That's right. A right side up. That's right.

I stamp my foot twice and it goes, Whomp Whomp. I'm a Whampler. Right? That's what that means? No. Look, Turley, now a lot of these adult coloring books are geometric shapes. You say you draw situations. What are these situations?

That's true. I might do like the Sistine Chapel, you know, and then you fill it in. How is that a situation? Well, a situation. Well, that was a situation. Someone asked that, someone asked Michelangelo, right? Yep. Yeah, someone asked Michelangelo.

Oh, so wait, in your coloring book, is Michelangelo there? Here, I'll show you. So I've got an entire book that's just Michelangelo in the Sistine Chapel. Oh my God. And it's him entering the chapel. Oh wow.

There you go, I passed him out. I got each of you. This is thick. This is like a thousand pages thick. This is very long. And these are, like, I don't want to make it sound not professional, but these are handmade.

Oh, absolutely. These are all me drawing this. Now this is a story. By the way, yeah, these pages are not all cut to size. Like these are just random pieces of scratch paper. A lot of mine look to be like cut up old brown paper bags from the supermarket. Right.

All right. Some of these pages are just tree bark. All right, I'm not white power when it comes to sheets of paper. Oh, okay. Okay, all right. What? What?

I don't know what. I'm working with what you guys are giving me. Sure. Brown sheets of irregular paper are somehow bad. Oh, I see. Clean, well-cut sheets of white paper, almost translucent, if you will, are the only things that can bring beauty in.

I see where you're going, but that's, yeah, let's move on. Anyway, so this is the situation of Michelangelo. So he walks into the Sistine Chapel, and one of the people that owns it says, "'Hi, Michelangelo.'" By the way, you're describing the first 50 pages. This is like a flip book. Yeah, yeah.

You flip it, and he barely moves, then you see him shake hands. Right. And then you see the guy point up to the ceiling, and then there's a thought bubble where Michelangelo says, shit! And by the way, that's just one page. Is this truly is a flip book?

You're gonna miss it, I think. You're gonna miss it. You're not gonna be able to read this. I have a question. Oh, I'm sorry. Jason, this is Jennifer. Yes, Jennifer's fine. Oh, hi Jennifer.

Hi. She's running for student body president. Yep, at Hindenburg High School. Oh, okay. Hinderburg. Hinderburg. Hinderburg, good luck, you got my vote. Oh my god, see! I'm taking on his accent. Yeah, what was your original accent? Yeah. It was just cool. Yeah. Okay, right. Well, I have a question about Michelangelo because obviously you studied him and his reactions. Well. Um, what's his first name?

Mac. His name's Mike Michelangelo? Yeah, his middle name's Louie, and his last name's Angelo. Mike L. Angelo. Mike L. Mike L. Mike L. Angelo. Michelangelo. Oh, I didn't know.

A lot of people just called him Angelo. Like a lot of his friends would be like, Angelo, let's get out of here, right? Angelo. Angelo, let's go get some pizza, right? Looking at the book, there's a lot of his friends would be like, Angelo, let's get out of here, right? Angelo. Angelo, let's go get some pizza, right? Looking at the book, there's a lot devoted to that, actually. That's pages 800 through 850, it looks like.

Uh-huh, yeah, you're skipping ahead. Yeah, I'm sorry. I want to go back to the beginning. Yeah, because we got up to about page 75, where he looks up and he says, shit, at the ceiling. Right. And the next few pages are him going, that's fucking high. And then being like, well, you want some ladders

or scaffolding? And then Michelangelo says, what's scaffolding? And then the next 40 pages are them just shaking their head and slapping their forehead, being like, he doesn't know what fucking scaffolding is. So that's the situation of the Sistine Chapel. Oh, wow. It makes sense.

It does, yeah. What other situations do you tackle in your books? Garfield, trying to get to the end of a Monday. Oh, here you go. Ah! Okay, I notice each page is one second of a day, and you have all the way through 24 hours. This is the thickest book I've ever seen.

Now, it's interesting. Each page is one secondhmm 24 hours in a day Jennifer could you help us out with that man? How many pages are in this? Toast in a light switch What I'm new to this what the hell what the fuck are you talking about? Charlie no Charlie she can handle it? What are you talking about? He's right. She is legal.

Alright, enough, enough, sorry. If I cross the line and it feels good. What second does Garfield have lunch, by the way? What is his lunchtime? Also, what is lunch for him? Is it lasagna? Yeah, it's all, I mean, lunch for Garfield is all day, every day, right?

Garfield wants to fill every day with a lasagna lunch. That's why he's bigger than he should be for a cat, right? Yeah. Now the interesting thing about the situation that I filled, that I drew for everyone to fill out, is that you watch Garfield wrestle with his Monday's depression. You watch him slowly put a gun into his mouth.

Sob and then take it out. Then slowly put it back in. Sob, look at a picture of John. Look at a picture of Odie. Put the gun back in his mouth. Is he trying to determine who he would be leaving behind when he looks at the picture of John? Or are these the things that are driving him

to pull the trigger? Yeah, that would be the picture of Odie. Well, now here's the thing. Or Nermal. All those interpretations can be correct, depending on what colors you choose to color in. Oh, that's interesting. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Jennifer really on board for this. I like this. My target audience. She's barely legal. She's an adult. So where does it end up? Because I don't want to go through this whole book. Garfield eats a lasagna, falls asleep, wakes up, checks the clock. It's 1201 a.m. on a Tuesday.

Oh yeah! Made it through the night without suicide once again. Wow, isn't that great? Good for him. It's inspirational in a way. Yeah, yeah. If Garfield can do it, who can't? That's a great point, because Garfield is lazy. He's the laziest among us. The Garfield cartoon is a parable for everyone.

Just get to the end of that Monday, and you're gonna be alright. And find your favorite food. And find someone who takes care of you, and also find someone who's stupor than you, who can make you feel better about yourself. That's Garfield in a nutshell. Those are the needs, the basic human needs. Find someone to take care of you. Maslow's hierarchy about yourself? That's Garfield in nutshell. Those are the needs the basic human needs Find someone to take care of you. Maslow's hierarchy of need. That's right. That's right So I'm gonna take care of you someone who's stupider than you. Well, maybe I should change one of my plato-

Taking on your accent. Well, that's how I mean where are you originally from by the way? Everywhere. Oh Yeah, my dad's in the military. Oh, okay. What does he do? He's a soldier. Yeah, how many is he killed? Okay, you're not supposed to ask that. Throw it in. I don't know. You've never spoken about this with your dad? I've asked him, but he's always said, he's always looked me in the eye and said,

you don't wanna know. Ooh, he sounds like a sniper. I've got a sniper situation. Oh, wow, look at this. Take a check of this. It follows Barry Pepper's character from Saving Private Ryan. Oh my. All the way through's character from Saving Private Ryan.

Oh my. All the way through to the final moments of his life. And then there's also a bonus thing where that one character who was in the movie Twister watches that one Jewish guy get killed by the strong Nazi guy. Tragic. Oh that's the toughest part of that movie. That's a bonus 300 pages tacked on at the end of this book. That's right. Thwap. Thw the end of this book. That's right. Thwi-yip.

Thwi-yip, thwi-yip. There you go. Leaf through it at your own leisure. I thought that was the saddest, tragic, most difficult part of the movie to deal with. Yeah. Twister? Yeah.

Yeah. I went to a Bruin View recently. It was a double feature, starting with Saving Private Ryan and then Twister. And I thought they put them in the wrong order how so Well, or for what reason I mean twister ends in a happy way Yeah, but saving private Ryan makes you think so through the first half of twister. I was just thinking and sad Oh, I see oh yeah

Whereas I would have been energized and happy going into save it private Ryan and then but then the All would have ruined your mood. Don't you think it would have ruined your mood? Either way Tom Hanks dies in both movies. Tom Hanks dies in Twister? Spoiler alert. Oh yeah right away. It's like a Janet Lee and Psycho kind of thing. He's in the first Twister. Twister is a sequel to Castaway.

Castaway he comes back, he tries to get with his ex-wife. Helen Hunt. Helen Hunt. And then he gets with that other woman, right? He's like, hey, what's this? Oh, I guess life can have two chapters, bullshit. And then, you know, you're in the middle of nowhere and then the twister comes, it sucks him up, and then Helen hunts there. Wait, you're saying life can have two chapters?

Yeah, what happened? What happened to you, man? Jason, I mean Turley. Thanks, man. JT. JT, what happened? What happened to you, man? Jason. I mean, Turley. Thanks, man. JT. JT, what happened to you? Wait, are you saying I think that life can have more than two chapters? Well, I mean, that's a very pessimistic view. You kind of shrugged and rolled your eyes when you mentioned that life can't have two chapters.

Did you have a Kyle Blarf? I'm going through a divorce right now. Oh. How did you know what she meant by by did you have a Kyle Blarf? You weren't here for the previous segment. But haven't we all had a Kyle Blarf in our lives that we, I mean, it's implied. It was the color in her voice.

Oh, interesting. Do you have synesthesia? So synesthesia is a- Yeah, definitely. That's why I got into what I do. Oh! Oh! Oh, you got into it.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Yes! Sorry, I wanted to get in on that at the end. Yeah, boy, in on that. Oh! Yes! Sorry, I wanted to get in on that at the end. So you are using your coloring books as a way of communicating emotional feelings. That's right. So what are these books, what emotions are within, and what should we be getting out of these?

I always hear divorce being worked through, through these books. Are you Garfield? Sometimes I feel like Garfield. Yeah. At least on a Monday when I'm stuffing my face with pasta and carbs. And a gun, apparently. Yeah. You ain't lying. Wait, I put a clob in my mouth.

A clob? That's a type of gun. I played Goldeneye the other day. It's a very old video game. You played Goldeneye and got so inspired that you bought a clob? You bought a clod. I bought a clod and I stuffed it in my mouth. I covered it in marinara and melted cheese.

I stuffed it in my mouth. I sucked the filling out of it. That sounds delicious. It was actually not bad. But as a delivery system for pasta and sauce, I don't think a gun beats a fork. Were you shooting pasta into your mouth with it? Yeah, I load it with carbs, and I fire it

into the back of my throat. And I hope it busts through the back of my head and ends my stupid, miserable, grimace life. But it doesn't. It just feeds me. And then I reload it, and I shoot it again. So sorry. So why did your wife leave you?

I got a shitty attitude. I mean. Is that what she said? Yeah. She can't handle my fucking patterns of behavior and communication. At least you have some self-awareness about it. You agree you have a shitty attitude.

Yeah. And that's why I'm starting to color more and more. And that's why I want to bring it to other people, right? Now, I need to color a lot, which is why I made 1,500 page plus coloring books for adults. Yeah. Because I need to calm down a lot. I don't think I 1,500 page plus coloring books for adults. Yeah. Because I need to calm down a lot. I don't think I could color one of these books in a lifetime.

Oh, no. And the fact that you've made, handmade, for each of us, many thousands of page books. And they're exact copies of each other. Yeah. How did you do that? And the fact that you think they're gifts. They have not been photocopied.

He never said he was giving them to us. But enough such that each of us has a copy to look at. Oh, OK. The volume of work. A copy for Peruzal. The volume of work that has gone into this. These are gifts, though. Yes.

I was just going to say. They're for you to keep. Now that you're a big movie star, you just think people are giving you things? Listen, people just can't. Were you in Twister? I was not in Twister. Boy, would I have loved to have been in Twister though. Were you in Saving Private Ryan?

I was not in Saving Private Ryan. Were you in Cast Away? I'm just gonna jump straight to the chase here. Jennifer, I've been in The Dictator and the upcoming movie The House. Unless it's The Dictator and The House. And that is it. Oh. Well, the reason that I put out such a high volume of coloring books is I don't sleep.

When I was born, the doctors dropped me into a pot of coffee. Okay. What? Was it hot coffee? How big was the pot? It was lukewarm. It was a big pot. I would assume so.

It was a big hospital. Because I suspect, not for nothing, you might have been a big baby. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And they just had big old pots. How much? So it was a big pot because it was a big hospital? Yeah, yeah.

Because there's a lot of people working there. Jason, I know the question you're going to ask. 31 pounds, seven ounces. Upon birth. Oh, yeah. How many floors did this hospital have? They're like bigger than a dog. It had three floors, and I dropped through the first two.

Into a pot of coffee. Yeah. Oh, no. Wow. In the kitchen. In the kitchen, yeah. If these hospital floors can't sustain a 31 pound weight dropping onto the floor, this is a rickety ass hospital.

Well, I shot out pretty fast. Oh, I see. Oh, yeah. I grabbed the inside of my mom's uterus, and I cool runnings it out of there. Like carbs in a clob, shooting out. Shooting out of there. Carbs in a clob club that's my next situation

yeah I'll do an autobiographical one like American Splendor yeah and then everyone will get to know the real Jason Turley yeah you're Harvey Picar fan yeah I love Harvey Picar sad-ass motherfucker it's not something to aspire to well emotional state but he you know he was able to use what his life was and make a living at it and get people to sympathize. Maybe he had temporary happiness, but is that really the life that you want to have, his emotional distance from his loved ones?

Scott, I don't deserve real happiness. Why? Look at me. Everybody deserves happiness, regardless of their looks. That's right. Everyone has a hope and a dream, and there's so many worlds in the students. Forever, the future is yours. What color of the rainbow would you be? I mean, you have synesthesia. Brown. Oh, boy.

That's like, what type, what shade of brown? Deep, sick brown. Deep, sick brown? DSB? Bro, the brown you see that makes? Bro, I'm concerned. The brown you see that makes you say somebody's sick. Oh no. Oh no. Oh god.

I'm like, talk 90 minutes of diarrhea in a movie, brown. Like hard vomit brown. Oh, ew. Hey yo. What, you get your butthole sewn up? Why's it coming out brown? Oh, you weren't here for that. You weren't here.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. it doesn't matter. I'd be Sparkle! Oh boy. Your color is Sparkle? I'd be Sparkle! Are you okay? Yeah, I'm great!

Jennifer, you are out of your seat, screaming. I'd be Sparkle! Calm down, calm down. I'm just so inspired by JT and- I inspire you? Well yeah, of course. The misery that is your life makes me want to live my life to its fullest. Especially now that I'm young and sexy.

Okay, you still have vomit all over your mouth, by the way. It's like a vomit goatee. You've barfed like four times. Mmm, yummy. Oh god. Man, why are you guys disgusted? I'm turned on. By her throwing up? Yeah, the bottom of my pear is tingling.

The bottom of your? Your stem? Pear! The bottom of my pear is going wild. I got bees down there. Wait, really? No, it just feels like it. It feels like I got bees.

That's a good saying. Yeah, yeah. I guess the stem might be the top of the pear. What's the pear's butthole, that little circle down at the bottom of it? It's the pear's anus, I think, is what that's technically called. I can't tell the difference

between my genitals and my anus anyway. So you can't tell the difference between something that is external and something that is internal? It's a fucking mess down there. Oh no. How so? Is it like a maze in the back of Jack and Jill magazine or something?

Yeah, that someone dropped beef stew on. Oh, no. And then did you say who beefed? Nailed it. CB beefed. Who's CB beefed? Who's CB beefed? You know, get that t-shirt now available on the CBB website.

I don't believe it's available. Now available on the Today Show. I told you guys how I beat the heat, how I try to calm my anxiety and the demons. You are not successful, by the way. No, I'm not. Every Monday, you're sticking a gun in your mouth filled with lasagna.

And your downstairs is a tingly mess. It is when barely legal teens are telling me that I inspire them. Wee. How old are you you by the way? JT, Turley. 43. 43.

Yeah. Okay, well, you know, the age difference. How long were you married? I was married for 21 years. Oh, wow. Who's your wife's name? Who's your wife's name? Her name's Beth Angie.

She was named after a kiss song and a Rolling Stones song. Should have seen the sadness coming. What's your last name? No, her last name is Angie. Oh, okay, wait, so she was named after a Rolling Stones song? She chose? Well, she's a first generation Croatian, and when her parents got to Alizavod.

First generation Croatian, I like that. They named her, they just named her. Beth Angie? Yeah, Beth Angie. They took a look at her and they said, this family looks sad as hell. She's destined for breakups So two of the saddest songs ever written about women Beth and Angie. Yeah, I think so I mean Beth is about a woman who just sits around the house waiting for Peter Chris to return from drumming practice the cat

And Angie's about yeah an, an imminent breakup. Yeah. Beth is about someone who would rather spend time with Gene Simmons than her. That's a sad song. Yeah, those are the two saddest. Point is, I should have seen it coming. And I'm working through a lot right now. But I'm here to not only give you guys gifts,

maybe can help you, but also to find out what you guys do to beat back the anxiety and the sadness in your lives well you know I try and connect with friends you know I work out yeah exercise is important yeah sure yeah talking to one's parents do you have parents they died long ago okay interesting that day in the hospital. Ohhhhh. Yeah. Well, I mean, you shot out of your mother.

Did that kill her? Oh, please don't, please tell me you did not, like, a bullet pass through your father and kill him. Well, I went through- On your way to going through both floors. I went through his feet. Okay. So I went right through his feet.

So I smashed a couple holes in the ground. I broke off his feet. Oh, God. And you still have the umbilical cord in. Yeah. So then my mother went right after his feet, so I smashed a couple holes in the ground. I broke off his feet. And you still have the umbilical cord in. Yeah, so then my mother went right after. Oh, God. She grabbed the umbilical cord. She went right after. And my father grabbed her by the hair, and he went right after that.

Oh, goodness. Well, he was going to fall anyway. He didn't have feet. So they fell on the ground. The pot of coffee broke your fall. That's right. Yeah, I was a nice sploosh. And then my first memories of them, and this is probably why I think that my color in the rainbow is brown is that I opened my

Eyes in lukewarm coffee and I saw my two dead parents outside the pot of coffee You have that memory. Yep. That was my first man. I guess when you're bathed in coffee it when you're born really create. Yeah Yeah, it's about trauma Good one nailed it, great zinger. Thanks, you cheer me up a lot actually. Oh good. You're the first person that's cheered me up since my wife left me. How long ago did she leave?

About a month ago. Oh, okay. When I was born 18 years ago. No, this is not, no. This is not a connection that you should be making. Oh, okay. It was around your birthday. Wow. Around probably when Kyle broke up with you, around prom.

Yeah. You went through a breakup about a month ago? Yeah. Man. I don't know what you're doing later, but if you want to get lasagna shot into the back of your throat, okay? She said she's sleeping. Oh

Well, yeah, I mean you just sleep with your mouth open Situations I don't think you should be putting a loaded no club club. This is like Syringe that I read about you don't believe in the rule of law? Casby got off, my friend. Okay. I guess I believe in the rule of law, but that doesn't mean I have to think he's innocent, you know? He got his power back. Oh no! Oh no! I think just because he's not legally guilty doesn't mean that we should think so.

Yeah, there's still many impending cases to take. Sorry, I just read the headlines. You only read headlines? Yeah, well, I mean, very busy working on these books, I assume. Yeah, it's tough. Are you doing a... Do you use these books as an escape from the difficulties of your life? Or like in an autobiographical sense, will you put out a book based on your divorce?

I'd like to do that. That'd be a great way to stick it to Beth. And I'll tell you what, I won't color inside any of those lines. I'll be all over those lines, all over Beth's face. And Beth will be covered in shitty colors. Okay, you really shouldn't be coloring in these books. These coloring books you're making.

If you're selling the books, you shouldn't color them. I always color one myself and I give it away to fans. Oh, do you have a lot of fans? Yeah, I got a handful, three or four. Yeah, great. In the adult coloring book community? A lot of, well, a lot of the nurses that were there when my parents died.

You're still close with them? They kept in touch. Okay, cause it's probably a very memorable day for them as well. Yeah, I always get a phone call and they're laughing. How you doing? Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hee hee. Because it's probably a very memorable day for be in it? Yeah, who would be in your life? Please, please, please, can I be?

Well I feel like Jennifer could be one of the other nurses that's calling Jason, which I will be playing. Okay, so okay, so you're Jason, Jason you're Jason. Jason, you're one of the nurses and Jennifer you're one of the other. I'm Angela, Angela. Angie? I've been married for two years. I don't know if you should be Angie just because of Jason's recent. I'll be Beth, I'll be Elizabeth.

No, no, no. I actually think that's also going to be a problem. Is there some other woman's name that's in the song? I'll be Garfield, James Garfield. Oh, Garfield, James Garfield. James Garfield, perfect. And scene, here we go. Okay, so my cell phone rings and it's a personalized...

I'm gonna answer it though. I'm gonna answer it because I'm you. Jason is playing Jason. I'm gonna play you and you're one of the nurses calling me so we can get a sense of what they're doing. Just so you know, my ringtone is Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Okay. Alright. Beep, boop, beep, boop, beep, boop, beep, boop, beep, boop. That's you dialing. Yep. Yep. Okay, shh, shh. Is he picking up? He's gonna picking. Yep. Yep. Okay. Shh. Shh. Is he picking up? He's gonna pick up. Okay.

Hello, it's me Jason Turley. Hehehehe! I bet it is! You sad motherfucker. Who is this? It's one of your nurses. I'm also a nurse. Oh, oh, is this James Garfield and What's your name? Abraham Lincoln. Is this James Garfield and Abraham Lincoln? How dare you call me at this hour? Yeah, what are you up to? Nothing? Yeah, nothing. What kind of life do you have right now? It's bleak. My wife has left me.

Man, there aren't enough sticks left at the bottom of the tree for you to hit before you hit rock bottom, are there? No. How did you get this number? Have you ever taken an improv class, Jennifer? You seem to be... This is not a debate. You seem stuck. Jennifer, just go with it. Just wait, first first thought. First thought. No more. No more tacos. No more tacos. This is your campaign platform. She said, that's my first thought.

Is that part of your platform? This is not a good campaign platform, by the way, if it is. No more tacos. People love tacos, Jennifer. No, but you've got to get rid of them. Kyle liked them. Kyle liked tacos. Anyway, I'm still a nurse.

OK, James Garfield, I'm sorry. All right, all right. We're back in the scene. OK. How did you get this number? Leave me alone. Turley, you're still in the phone book. You don't have a cell phone, you friggin' loser.

Yeah, and you'd. I just need to be in the phone book in case people want to get my adult coloring books. Are you calling to order one of my adult coloring books? Oh, yeah. Just so you know, it's a coloring book for adults If that wasn't clear already from the title adult coloring books. Now that you phrase it that way I get it I'd like to purchase zero I'll take one. Oh, thank you James Garfield. Hey, I'm here, too

Dunjom and Queef? Yeah, it's me. Dunjom and Queef get off this call. I'm here too Dungeon and queef yeah, that's me Dungeon and queef get off this call. I'm just fucking watching these you fucking marmite it get out of here you marmite And scene Wow Jennifer after straight-up panicking there you really you really recovered pretty well You are white as a ghost right now you do not look healthy You are you gonna throw up again? Are you gonna throw up again? I feel sick. Oh no here here. Let me get my club out Yeah, that's what it is Situation here you guys trust my aim should I go from? I don't think you should do this. Not in front of me. Oh, boy. Oh, god. There we go. This is a crow situation here.

You guys trust my aim? Should I go from way back here? No, I don't. You should stick it right in your mouth. All right, so you're going to need to kiss it or kind of lick the... Kiss it? Or lick it. Oh, this is gross.

This is Jesus. Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan. Oh, god. Oh, god. This is earwolf, not airwolf. Come on, don't do this. Here comes the clobber. Here comes the clobber. Here comes the clobber.

By the way, that's a good catchphrase. Ready? 3, 2, 1. Oh god. God, it just exploded all over her face. It does look delicious. I will say that. She's a barely legal teen with cheese all over her face All over her face, what is this? What is what kind of show you I don't it's not this kind of show has changed

It's not that kind of show. Oh has changed. I'll take two. Oh boy Alright before you do this me uncomfortable, we'll just shoot this one off in the air All right look we're running out of time here We just have time for one final feature on the show, and that's it When we go to Plugs, thinkin' Yeah, you know what time it is That's what we're gonna do Snacks on your butt, Plugs Ooh, it's short and sweet.

Plugs, my dear boy, by Unlivetogs. Unlivetogs, thank you so much. If you have a Plugs theme, send it on over. And what are we plugging? Obviously, James, you have the house James You just called me. There are two people in this room named Jason, and you just called me James I don't know what just I believe that song put me into some sort of meditative trance that was wild That's crazy. Did I call you James? I don't know

Bless you meditative trance. That was wild. That's crazy. Crazy. Why did I call you James? I don't know. I don't know, but hey. Bless you. Jennifer, bless you. There's the lasagna coming up. Are you okay? You need another cloud. I'm allergic to lasagna.

Oh no. That's my animal. Lasagna? Yeah. Is your pet? Yeah. All right, James Manzoukas. Oh God.

You have the house above the title. In theaters, I still haven't seen that poster. In theaters tomorrow. Tomorrow, June 30th, please go and see it everybody. And then obviously the Hot of This Game Made podcast on the Earwolf Network. Of course. I want to plug, let's see, you know a couple weeks ago I believe my issue of Deadpool and Spider-Man came out in the trade paperback. Also Paul Scheer, other host of the How Will This Get Made podcast,

he wrote an issue or co-wrote an issue, as well as Jerry Duggan that is in the trade paperback right now. People can get that. And then... That TPB, order that TPB. Speaking of comics, we're going to be out at Comiccon this year doing a show on Thursday night the 20th I'm not sure if tickets are on sale yet as of this recording they're not so but keep watching Are you nervous at us at an event like comic-con that there won't be people who are fans of your show that we're willing to Come and see it that's happened a few times

nerds oh it's like all nerds in one place. I thought you were being serious, but no. No, no, I mean, has there ever been a time where a comedy bang bang didn't have like max audience? I was going to say that a couple of times at the House of Blues, they tend to give out tickets to radio stations. I get it. And so there will be a pocket of like 20 people going, the fuck is it like literally saying what the fuck is this? I stopped doing so I wish I want to be on that show. No good Let's see

Jennifer, what are you plugging? Hey? Well vote for me for student body president obviously that would be I guess first day of school people Are gonna vote or yeah? Vote for spot and there's x marks the X marks the spot. No, that's not it. I'm just saying that you put your X next to spot and that would be how you would vote. That would have been better. What is your slogan? Do you have a slogan? Yeah, it's vote the number potato and then spot. Okay, vote potato spot. Vote potato spot. Now, just out of curiosity, is it a visual of a potato or is it the word potato?

Like for you, do you think of numbers as like pictograms? It's the number potato. Uhhhh... Okay, it's alright, it doesn't matter. It's not the number potato. So vote for spot, got it. Vote for spot and then also follow Mary Holland on Twitter, Adamholland85, and check out Shrink on See So.

What do you think? Do you think that she didn't get on Twitter before 84 other Mary Hollands got on Twitter? I think that's exactly what the issue is. Whoa, what an idiot. I think she's great. Why not Mary Holland 85? Why is it, anytime I try to tag her and stuff, I have to remember, oh no, there's no A-R-Y. I'm doing my best in the world. I'm doing my best.

It's Mary? No. My name's Jennifer. Yeah, no, I know. But is it M-A-R-Y? No, it's M Holland 85. Oh, it's M Holland. I'm sorry. You'll never forget now. Oh boy. And, check's M Holland. I'm sorry. You'll never forget now. Oh boy. And Check out Shreem Khan's CISO and I'm performing with my team Wild Horses this Saturday. Your team? You're my team. My team. You, Jennifer. I'm a fan of this team. I don't feel like you're, I believe it's the

seventh or so. No, the first, July 1st. July 1st, you are, oh okay. And then we have another show at Largo, and by we I mean this team I'm a fan of, has another show at Largo on July 10th. Okay, got it, got it, got it, okay, very good. JT, what do you got? Well, I'll plug my favorite Twitter comedian who mostly just retweets stuff that other people tweet.

Why is he your favorite then? Because I love it. I love watching people retweet things that have been tagged in and then mostly ignore Twitter. At Tim underscore balts. And then I'll plug Shrink on CISO. Check out CISO now while the time is right. Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink.

Truly is ripe right now. And then watch the deal in Dollar Properties. There are a count of one, two, three seasons on CISO as well. Big CISO fan, huh? Huge CISO head. Hey, oh, here's my CISO hat. And my CISO choker and my CISO wristband.

CISO choker? Yeah, that's right. That seems like swag that maybe bankrupted the company. Jennifer, how many seasons do you think bajillion dollar properties has? Probably, I gotta say it. It's not potato. Oh, interesting. Basil? Probably, I gotta say it's not potato. Oh interesting. Basil?

Basil? Okay, so we got basil, potato, and fart. We're getting there. And Blarf is in one through nine because he was the quarterback. Yeah, but that's just someone's name. That's farts. Yeah, I said fart. You said farts. Okay, look. You said farts! You said farts! Sorry, I see so chokers coming off your brain. One final thing I would like to say., the seesaw choker is putting off air in my brain. One final thing I would like to say to both of you. Well, before we do that, let's close up the old plug. Oh yeah, close it up.

All right. Talking about bags and bags. I'm talking about opening bags. I'm talking about bags and bags. I'm talking about opening bags. I'm talking about bags and bags. I'm talking about opening bags. I'm talking about bags and bags.'m just talking about bags and bags I'm talking about bags and bags

I'm talking about bags and bags I'm talking about bags and bags Alright, James Manzoukas, what did you want to say? I just wanted to say I hope sincerely that you both, you know, find your way through these terrible breakups that you're going through and I believe that you will come out stronger on the other side You wish

What does that mean? Thanks man You know, my next adult coloring book is going to be You wish Thanks, man, you know my next adult coloring book is gonna be a situation of you telling me that oh How many pages is just that little chunk? Well, it's a short one. So maybe 950. Okay, you're like the Stephen King of adult coloring books Are you have you watched the mist recently on spike I know who Stephen King is. Have you watched The Mist recently? On Spike? Yeah, I wake up every morning and watch The Mist on Spike. That should tell you everything you need to know about Stephen King. Alright guys, this has been a fun one.

Good luck to everyone. Jason, it's always a pleasure to see you. Always a delight. Please come back soon. Thank you for making the time. Thank you everybody. And you guys, you know... I love you! Oh, you know what? Let's, uh, let's, uh, I would love to see how the election goes at some point in the future.

Yeah, please come back and let us know. Oh, I will, yes, post-election. Hopefully it'll be a celebratory interview. Obviously this will be post-Labor Day when school gets back in session, I would imagine. Obviously. And I'll definitely be back if Lasagna doesn't crack through the back of my skull. Okay, good luck with that. Thanks. Alright, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye.