Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Jon Hamm, Lily Sullivan, Devin Field (Going Hamm)

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

This is part 5 of our "Going Hamm" series, originally #774 titled "InFletchion." Professional actor Jon Hamm joins Scott to talk about his role in Top Gun: Maverick, his new film Confess, Fletch, and performing in a production of Ordinary People at the University of Missouri. Then, diarist Bridget Jones stops by to read some new entries from her diary. Plus, travel guide Steve Spinx drops by to share some travel tips. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

Hey everyone, welcome to another Bonus Bang. My name is Scott Aukerman, I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. This is our fifth and final episode of this Bonus Bang series, Going Ham. And this week we are re-releasing episode number 774, Inflection, originally released on September 11th, 2022. Now this Bonus Bang series is featuring our good friend,

Jon Hamm, he's been on the Comedy Bang Bang series, I guess you would call it, this podcast for all of the 15 years that we've been doing it. He's a great friend. It features him, of course, as well as Lily Sullivan as Bridget Jones and Devin Field as travel expert, Steve Spinks. Now, fun fact, this is the first in-studio appearance

of Bridget Jones doing a reading from her diary. So that's a lot of fun. Now, if you like what you hear and you want to hear the entire CBB archive, you can become a subscriber at cbbworld.com where you can find every episode we've recorded as well as every single live episode. They're all up there.

We're gonna be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang until then enjoy this bonus bang! Comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy are you, Gandhi? Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Uh-huh, thank you to Pugsley's Chicken. Pugsley's Chicken. Let's see the avatar. No, it's just a normal person, not Pugsley himself from the Addams Family franchise. But speaking of the Addams Family, oh God, I have no segue.

I usually start those segues and it usually works out in my mind, but this one did not. Welcome to the show, though. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have a great episode of Comedy Bang Bang for you today. A little bit later, we have a diarist and we also have a travel guide and that's exciting. And we're in the middle of September

and I gotta say celebs are back. The backyard era, we had no one, no one wanted to come to the backyard, but last week we have Adam Scott, and now this guy, a contemporary of Adam Scott, who has perhaps eclipsed him in both TV and film. Oh, wow. Wow.

Although Adam is nominated for one of those little Emmys. Yes, M-E, you can't spell me without me. That's right Because you have one and I was there I was there backstage when I Man remember those days that golden Is it a woman it's a it's a figure it's a winged figure It's a winged figure and by the way, the Emmys are tonight. Do you get do you get it's a winged figure. It's a winged figure and by the way the Emmys are tonight Do you get do you get a winged finger figure holding a go Golden Globe? Yeah, interesting because the Golden Globes which we cannot talk about it. No, you're not allowed but you you won one of those Do them. Yeah, that's right. And you weren't allowed to do your speech that I wasn't allowed to give him back

I don't know. There was so many things I'm not allowed to do leave him on the porch. Nope. No, no The Hollywood Press Association. You're like, no, these are worthless. Too bad, but he is, of course, you know him as Donny D. From The Madman, and he's in theaters now as Admiral Shitbird in Top Gun Maverick. Wow, it's so good to be back. Just saw you again on Saturday.

I watched the movie a second time. And I was just like, you're really playing an unlikable guy. Well, an antagonist, I suppose. There are no real bad guys in the movie. No, he thinks he's a good guy, right? He's protecting the taxpayer's investments, thank you very much.

But every single person in the movie seems to know he's a bad guy. Does not like me. John Hamm is here, our old friend. So the Lebs are back. Hey! On Comedy Bang Bang. You gotta be back back. You are in the movie Top Gun Maverick.

You have that wonderful thing that everyone gets to do in the Tom Cruise movies, where you say Tom Cruise's character name in disbelief. Maverick. maverick. Because like he was ever. His ego has been writing checks. His body can't cash for well over 30 some odd years. It's his butt can't cash them as far as I'm concerned.

Well, I'm pretty sure they were successfully cashed. They were. Yeah, I don't know. He's been wrong. But did cash those checks. I don't know. He has a really nice motorcyle. He's never been overdrawn as far as I can tell That was that fun to it now I talked to you about that back when we were doing the between two ferns movie back in God 2018 yes, I started shooting that movie in 2018

We finished it in 2019 and it was meant to come out in 2020 and then the pandemic scam damn hands Demick The labyrinth led right to the Demic. And then it was a rough thing. Yes. But then it comes out in what year is this now? 2022? 2022.

Comes out this year. The double deuce. That's right. And by the way, your character does take two shits in the movie. Is that right? Yes. He says excuse me twice in the movie.

I'm like, this guy's taking a shit. Is he? Is he really? You don't really see that in movies. I call it. Maybe they call that hidden head Where one of the characters just goes? Why wouldn't they cut it out and everyone looks to themselves like where's this guy going and then just a lot of noise and then Right back into the scene. Sorry guys. Oh, you know what know what? One more time. Maverick. Maverick. But it comes out this year. Here he goes taking shit to your body, kid.

Cash. Comes out this year as a smash hit. Smash. And it really, you know. Bigger than the television show, Smash. That's right, yeah. Smashier. What was the musical that they were doing in Smash?

It was called Top Gun Maverick, weirdly. What if that movie becomes a musical? I would definitely go see that. Would you start in it? For sure. Yeah, what would you? The Dancing Cyclone? Or the rights itself? Of course.

And I'm sure your character would have a King George and Hamilton-style solo where he explains. And I spin a lot, and then I immediately take a shit and release. Double deuce and I'm off. But that's, so you filmed that before the pandemic. And then you have a new movie coming out this Friday in theaters as well as streaming online.

It's called Confess Fletch. And when did you do this? Now, we shot this movie during the pandemic. Oh, really? So is everyone coughing during the entire movie? Everyone is coughing, really sick, sweaty, uncomfortable, and masked. So it's really hard to see who's who.

But it's funny. Everyone sounds like Bane the entire movie. Oh, hello, Fletch. What's going on, Fletch? We really need Doug for that. Yeah, no it was we shot it in Boston in the summer of 2021. Bean Town is what they call that. They call it Bean Town. Everybody's full of beans and running around going to college. So we shot that. It is the continuation of the character that won Cheddar Cheese made famous in the 80s. Erwin M. Fletcher.

The Fletch books, that movie a lot of people don't even know, the Fletch movies that Cheddar Cheese made were based on books. On novels written by a guy named Gregory McDonald, who himself was an investigative reporter for the Boston Globe. That's right. And then Chevy very famously made it. He broke the Spotlight case, didn't he? And they weirdly didn't make Fletch about that. Yeah, it was not as funny.

Differently funny. Differently funny. Sorry. But no, yeah, so Chevy. Cheddy. Cheddar. Cheddar. Charvin. Chevrolet, Chevrolet, yes, thank you, Chevy, Chevy, Chevrolet, made a very funny movie in the 80s about it. But it wasn't really- It was a radically kind of a radical departure,

very Chevy, very 80s, very slapstick. And what we decided to do, myself and the wonderful director, Greg Metola, decided to kind of go back to these original books and kind of hew more closely to the source material and that's what we did and we sort of made a very new version of it that we hope is equally funny or differently funny or as funny or more funny and... But you are keeping the scene where you get the big afro and you dress up like one of the Lakers. Oh yeah, that and people forget about this from the second movie, the, the dancing plantation scene. So we keep a lot of the baked in racism. That's for the fans. Yeah, of course.

That's the fan service. Yeah, of course. Really. So, so no, we, we took a little different approach with a lot of the timeless humor. I used to read these books when I was younger. And I, in fact, I think I, I believe I was in the running to write one of these movies 20 years ago. They've been trying to make it for, as you say, decades. And you know, various and sundry people have been to Sudeikis, I think, uh, Ryan Reynolds, maybe they can Affleck or two. Um, cause they're both Affleck switching off scenes.

That would be amazing. Why is Fletch so much shorter in this scene and spunkier I'm not sure which one you're talking about it just works I haven't I haven't sized both of them up side by side so yeah and I think a Kevin Smith might have been attached to maybe directed at some point that's right Kevin Smith is a huge fan of these books so trying to get these yeah and so like like you I too read all of these books and was sort of like, oh, the, the, the movie is nothing like the books. It's so different. It's such a funny character, but not funny in the cheddar cheese. Wigs and funny voices and funny names.

He's just a funny, like sort of self-effacing guy. And, and, and a little more sophisticated and what have you. But, but it was, it was really fun to make. We got John Slattery to play my former boss, who people might remember from the first film. Of the Mad Men. Of the Mad Men. Yeah.

So again, playing my boss. He's playing your boss in this. Yes, he plays Frank, the former news. Did he ever was he like, look Draper, in the scenes, and you were like, oh, sorry, I'm fledging this one. Yeah, no, it was, yeah, come on man. Uh, no, but it was really, it was really fun. I think his scenes were like some of the first scenes we shot and so it was super fun. And you should just, the two of you should do every project together.

I wouldn't mind it. I actually did a movie I shot, uh, right after we finished Fletch, I went off to do a John's movie that he directed called Maggie Moore and with me and Tina Fey. We shot it in shot it in in Albuquerque, New Mexico. So I love working with him and that was a big part of it. And we got him. We got Roy Roy Wood Jr. who plays a guest on the show. Yes. A friend of the show, I'm sure. Who plays this sort of person who's trying to tasked with solving this murder along with myself. The lovely and talented Marscia Gay Harden. Up-and-coming comedic starlet Aidan Mayery from I Love That For You.

Which I don't know if you've seen that. I have not seen it yet but a huge fan. Everybody's funny in that. Yeah. And yeah. Just television in general. Well the arts. And the craft. I love arts and crafts. Those are two of my favorite things. Well, the arts. And the craft? I love arts and crafts. Those are two of my favorite things. Three of my favorite things, arts, crafts, and ampersands. That's right. Yes.

And arts and crafts covers them all. Right there. Right there. There you go. So yeah. Greg Metolo, by the way, people will remember he did Adventure Land and Supercop. What is it?

Superbad. Superbad and Daytrippers. Yes, along with a little movie called Keeping Up with the Joneses. That's right, which I saw on a winged thing flying in the air. Did it move you? The plane, not the movie. Yeah, no, I made it to you.

You got to where you need to get to. Great. That's what we're hoping. We were hoping people see that on planes. Had enough time to watch that, take a a nap and eat a meal. We forget it Was fun. I remember like you in a car and gal Gadot and she's shooting. Yes. It was a very action-oriented It was very fun. It was before Gal Gadot was a Wonder what's good dot?

It might be you know what does she ever correct anyone? She never corrected me. Because we always call her Godot on the Ferns movie. And she just like nodded. I mean, she's she's game. Sure. Game. Whatever you want to call her. So, yeah. So, yes, we had a blast making it. And and hopefully, because as you know, there are many, many more novels to be.

Yeah. To be. I would love to see. We can keep doing. 27 of these movies. I would love to see 27 of these movies. I would love to make 26 of them. And then the 27th, I would do just out of spite. Sure. Yeah. Well, this is great.

Confess Fletch. Is that how you say it? Or is it confess Fletch? I think you can really take whatever inflection you'd like to do. Inflec- That's the great thing about titles. In Fletch-tion.

Thank you. Yes. Thank you very much. Confess Fletch. But that's the thing about titles is. Confess Fletch. Fletch. Con-fes-fletch.

Mm-hmm. Well, there is a comma in the actual title. So confess comma Fletch. Comma Fletch. Yes. OK. That's the good thing about titles. You can say them however you want, right? Yes, exactly. You don't have to. You can say Fletch, yes. Okay, that's the good thing about titles, you can say them however you want, right?

Yes, exactly. You don't have, you can say Fletch confess. Yeah, exactly. No one's gonna stop you, right? You can say, Cheddar cheese. Right, exactly. Is Cheddar in this movie? Cheddar is not.

We didn't want it to be the kind of thing that he was in. Where the guy rolls. We didn't want the kind of weird nostalgic thing of, oh, there's the guy, the weird cameo. Well, it's been at this point now 40 years. Yes, we're closing on a 40 years. And I always thought, you know, even in the, like the Ghostbusters thing, when the Dan Aykroyd is an old timey cabbie somehow, why is this happening?

I don't know. Although if Dan Aykroyd were an old timey cabbie in this, it would make sense. Yeah, absolutely. Boston is full of old timey characters. Old timey cranky cabbies. Get in the car, you. We're going to Alston. Well I think this is good. I think it's a good way to just totally start fresh, be, because these books are great, you're great, Greg Metolla is great, the just film in general, and the arts, and comedy slash drama with those masks, with the one half is the sad guy and the other half is-

Golden Globes, these things are all great. But we realize too that there's generations of moviegoers and people that have no connection to that. Why would you ever watch that first Fletch ever, like if you were 20 years old? It doesn't make sense. Doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make sense.

You know what I mean? So, but you watch this one and you're like, oh, okay. You know what? I like all these people. Exactly. Let's make more of these and let's make 26 more of these. Yeah. What's the next book called?

Cause this is the first one in the series. You can kind of jump around. There's Fletch's Fortune, there's Fletch and the Widow Bradley, there's Karaoke Fletch. What's the one you really want to do? Rio de Janeiro. You want to go to Rio? Is that what I'm hearing? I mean, come on, right? Who doesn't? I blame it. I blamed it on Rio for years. Have you ever seen Blame It on Rio? Yes, I have. Weird movie. Very weird movie. Deeply problematic. Very strange. Just deeply, deeply problematic.

It seems like in the 80s, screenwriters in general, all these old men who are 45 or 50 suddenly realize that they didn't have to stay married to their wives anymore. And the whole paradigm of you got to stay together, you can't get divorced, suddenly that blows not. And like, you know, the whole paradigm of like, you gotta stay together, you gotta, you can't get divorced. Suddenly that blows up and they're... Or let me pitch this, Jim, or you could, on vacation, fuck the 18 year old daughter of your best friend.

Right. And by the way... Repeatedly. Demi Moore, I think she's 18 in the movie, but the other one is 17. 17, yes. And got special dispensation to appear nude in the movie. Judge had to sign a piece of paper that allowed her. Who's this judge?

Judge naked McGee. He was the guy you go to. Of course. The Hollywood guy. He's a horse that also I don't think we're spoiling anything by revealing these delicate plot twists, but this movie is 40 years old this year. I believe the third act reveal where it is revealed that Joseph Bologna is also fucking Michael Caine's wife.

I know, it's crazy. What is happening here? It's like, hey, couldn't we fuck everybody? I'm gonna write a movie about this. I mean, you can blame it on Rio, but I think maybe you should really look in the mirror, both of you two. Wasn't it the dude from MASH?

Didn't he write it? Like Larry Gelbar? Yeah, I think Larry Gelbar wrote it. I think you're correct. Yeah, it's insane. There was a time in the late 70s, early 80s, maybe a 10 year span where just all bets were off. It doesn't matter how, and people would go-

Do you remember the line from the Woody Allen, Annie Hall, where Tony Roberts is picking him up from the airport? Annie, I love you. That one. Tony Roberts is picking Woody Allen up and he's perturbed that he had is picking him up from the airport. Annie, I love you. That one. Tony Roberts is picking Woody Allen up, and he's perturbed that he had to pick him up because he was busy having sex with two 16-year-old girls.

Jesus Christ. That is a line in a movie. And he repeatedly references it, like you made, they were 16, you son of a gun. To be fair, that's a 32-year-old, if you combine them. Very true. Very true. Very true. Yeah.

So a weird guy, Woody Allen. Is that what you're trying to say? I guess I'm trying to say, I guess I'm trying to say there's probably some things to unpack there. Well, Confess Fletch is in theaters this Friday. It's also streaming, you can get it on, I would imagine, Apple and-

Your streaming platforms. Yeah, Amazon, all that kind of stuff. Maybe your phone, I don't know. The new Woody Allen. Anything that streams. The new Woody Allen. Anything that streams. The new Woody Allen, John Hamm. Thank you, thanks very much.

I will proudly accept, I think we're done with the old one. So maybe there's room. This is great, confess fledge, I'm gonna be first in line to watch this. Online or in line? I'm gonna be first online, yeah. First in line, online. When everyone turns on their computers in the morning, I'm gonna be right there first., this is when everyone turns on their computers in the morning

Make sure you type it in first like an old-timey comment section first. We need to take a Stuttered on take I knew we need to do I'm so frightened right now doing what yeah This is the Woody Allen that no one does Annie, I love you though. This is the Woody Allen that no one does. Max. Annie, you know, I'm in love with you. You know, the gentle when he's trying to cajole. 16 year old twins, Max.

I know, but Annie, you and I. Max. Let's go get some health food at the source. They're always playing racquetball too, aren't they? It was big in the 70s. What do you want? Anyway, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we have a diarist. We also have a travel guide.

Are you excited about the show? Both of those things are things that I enjoy. I don't think you've been on since the 10th anniversary. Is that true? Three years maybe? It's been a minute. Yeah, so. It's been a minute, yes.

I believe the 10th anniversary was my last, my ultimate appearance. So obviously the show has fallen off. Yeah, the worst without me. We have a diarist and a travel guide coming up. So usually it would be three celebrities on these types of shows. Listen, they may be celebrities in their own world. True. This could be a very famous diarist. I don't know. We don't know. I have not met said diarista. And I have not looked at the name of the diarist.

Do you think as a diarista, like a barista with diarrhea? I think so. Yeah. And usually all that coffee would give you diarrhea Wouldn't it? Yeah, that sounds like the old double deuce. We'll ask them about this Now, excuse me. I have to go Short All right, we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang more John Hamm after this Comedy bang bang. We're back John Hamm of Confess Fletch is it's in theaters how many and streaming and streaming any how many theaters you do in how many cities something like a 400 theater that's pretty good nice release it's in

theaters across the country including my hometown of st. Louis Missouri really weird I was just in there. In St. Louis? Yeah, we did a show there on the tour. What theater did you perform in? That's a good question. Was it the pageant? The pageant?

No, it was the stifle? Are you just making up words? Stiveman, Stuyvesant, Starvin, Chevrolet. It was? Magic Mike. The pageant. It, the pageant. It was the pageant. Yes. Yes.

I thought about texting you to see if you were in town. And then I thought, of course, he's done. No, he doesn't live here anymore. He's very rarely here. But I see you. I see how was the show. Was it was really good. Well, yeah, I thought that I don't know. I've ever been there before. I thought it was great. Yeah, we saw those big arches.

It was fun. Yeah, it's one. It, we saw those big arches. It was fun. Yeah, it's one arch. Oh yeah, that's right. The other one is a fast food restaurant. I was at McDonald's, yeah, you're right. There used to be a floating McDonald's down on the river. Really? On a riverboat, a riverboat McDonald's.

Do you have to take a riverboat to get to it? No, it was permanently moored, but now they have stuck casinos down there. So it's- Could you do a drive-through in it it? Maybe with a car with the boat. That'd be kind of awesome. Don't I see you though, in like St. Louis games, you're always like popping up. You're like singing, take me out to the ball game and stuff like that. Something like that. Yeah.

I do. I do have family back in St. Louis and I do go back on, on occasion. But I haven't been back in it sometimes. It's not the most, as you probably found out, it's not the best place to be in the summer. It's a little warm. Right, yeah, it was a little warm, yeah. Although I do have, on the St. Louis Walk of Fame, like I have a star on the St. Louis Walk of Fame. Oh, congratulations!

I was very, I didn't. Who else is there? Just me. Just you? Not even Ellie Kemper. No, no. You're a former student. No, no, not yet.

Well, not yet. It's just me. Interesting. And the star is as big, not yet. Well, not yet. It's just me. Interesting. And the star is as big as the arch. Really? It takes up the entire street. It's actually right down the street from the pageant. That's why I mentioned it.

Oh. Maybe on your way walking to the show. I did not see it. No. Did you want to see it? I actually would like to see it. You know our good friend, Tal John, he has a star on the Palm Springs walk of fame. I know. That's what that's what reminded

me of that. Now you, you of course, people would know you most famously from being a Connor Ratliff scene partner from the University of Missouri production of Ordinary People. Yes, that's where I get a lot of people on the street being like, you know what, I saw that production that's where I get a lot of people on the street being like, you know what? I saw that production in 1992. I had to fit that in because I was talking to him and he mentioned that. I took over for it because it was in the, that was a holdover show from the summer repertory theater that we did. And I took over for the guy that played it in the summer. And we,

we started it a new or with a different cast, me for the fall, for the, for the show. So they have something up and running so people can go to the theater. And I was so nervous that I wasn't gonna know my lines, that I had to skip the first two rehearsals because I lost my voice. Really?

So you were that nervous, you were like, can't talk. I was like, but Annie, I love you, I can't talk so loud. It's really hard. So how did it go off? I eventually recovered my voice and knew all my lines and had an amazing time working with Connor, who I then, of course, ran into many, many, many years ago after.

And it was an amazing journey that he's had, that whole. Yeah. Were you on Dead Eyes? Dead Eyes. Yes. I was the one that I think enabled the reach out to Tom Hanks of it all. Really, you did that? I mean, I didn't do it alone, but I was there.

Sure, it takes a village, obviously. It takes a village of Hanks. It takes many. Can't spell thanks without Hanks. That's right. You guys, I've never seen Ordinary People, you and Connor should do the Scott hasn't seen episode about it.

Okay. Because is it based on that movie? Yes. Oh, okay. I think it was, speaking of Confessed Fletch, I think it was a novel, then a play, then a movie. Okay. Famously directed by Robert Ripper. Famously, I think, won the Academy Award. I believe it did, yes. Over like a maybe a Godfather, Raging Bull, some big thing. No, I think it must have been like 1980 or something like that. Maybe it was. Oh, Raging Bull, some, no, I think it must've been like 1980 or something. Maybe it was.

Right. Yeah. Oh, raging bull. Yeah. Because that was, that was 1980. It was a kind of an underdog and it beat a movie that is in the can. Don't tell me too much about it because this is part of the show, but I'd love to get both of you on. So Connor plays a boxer and he's like, do you fuck my wife? Do you fuck my wife? Oh, you did fuck my wife. Oh, you did? Oh, great.

And at the end he gets really heavy and then sells all of his jewels. I think that's what raging bull is about. Right. What do you think? I was thinking. And at the end he gets really heavy and then sells all of his jewels. I think that's what Raging Bull's about, right? What do you think? I was thinking about Raging Bull the other day because you look at Brendan Fraser, right? And he's getting all this acclaim for putting on a Fatsuit. And it's like, and Robert De Niro must be sitting there going like, why the fuck did I gain all this weight?

Yeah, I mean, I have to say, Fatsuit technology has really made the quantum leap. Yeah, it really has. It really feels like that. that from raging bull to the clumps to now this. I mean, they had a pretty good handle on it on the clumps. I was buying it. Isn't it, though? OK, everyone's like, OK, Robert, Bobby D. You did so great. You got fat. That's easy as far as I'm concerned.

Like having a good body is the hard part. I would think like they should give Oscars for people who like, you know, like Paul Rudd in Ant-Man, you know? It's like the one scene he takes off his shirt, it's like, okay, and the award winner is- All right, you know what? The Academy goes to, good for you, because that's a lot of crunches.

I would think that you would want to start fat. Yeah. Then reduce. Exactly. But everyone seems to do it the other way. I know, why is that? By the way, for any role, I start fat and I never waver. Stay right there. Sliding on into keeping it fat.

Keeping it fat with Scott Ackerman. That's right. Oh, my new show. All right. Confess Fletch in theaters and also streaming this Friday. Make sure you check it out. We need to get to our next guest. I mentioned they're a diarist and we you know, it is interesting because I think this is one of the more famous diarists in the world. Now here, now seeing who it is. Yeah, but famous diarists are, and Frank, obviously, number one with a bullet and I mean, pardon the pun. Yeah, really. But yikes. And then this is number two though, I think.

I would, I can't think of another more famous diarist. I'm trying to think of any other title, the diary. Diary of a mad man. Mad man, Ozzy Osbourne. Okay, he's number two. Well, yeah, with a bat. Diary of a bat. Yeah, with a bat.

The bat's head. Snorting ants off the pavement. Snorting, None of that happened. Are you sure? Yes. I don't know. But this is number three, obviously, right underneath Anne Frank and Ozzy Osbourne.

She's a famous diarist. Please welcome to the show Bridget Jones. What's up? How are you doing? I'm good. Hey, Bridget, this is John. Hi, nice to meet you. How are you doing? Listen, you guys got itget. This is John hi nice to meet you. How you doing? Listen you guys got mad wrong

It's not a diarist is diarrhea That is what you call me okay, so straight straight out the gate Wait does everyone weirdly is how diarrhea comes straight out the gate straight out the gate has everyone been mispronouncing the movie titles Is it Bridget Jones' diarrhea? Bridget Jones' diarrhea. Okay. Wow. See, this gives-

To be fair, I never saw any of the movies, nor did I read the diarrhea. I saw that first one. I don't remember any of these scenes where Bridget Jones said, Excuse me, I have to go. Well, listen, the guy at Mad Wrong, like Hollywood took that story,

My Diarrhea, from way back when, and they changed the shits a lot. So they messed it up. Okay, that's right. Now you and I met on tour. We met on tour. Where were, this is in Boston, is that right? No, we were in New York.

You were in New York? Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah. The city of lights. The city that doesn't sleep. The city with the trash everywhere. The city so nice they named it twice. They did.

New York, that city, that's so nice they named it twice. They named it twice. New York. New York, we met there and we talked a little bit there about what did we talk about? Well, so basically like 23 years ago or whatever they bought me a diary off me, the Hollywood people, no offense or whatever. Who is this?

Is this Weinstein? I don't remember who was whatever, but I... You'd remember if it was Weinstein. Yeah, for sure. Your plants would remember, I'll tell you that. Oh, Jesus Christ. He really sent me off to success today. Talking about M. Frank and now this right when I get on.

And Woody Allen, don't forget that. Should we talk about Michael Jackson while we're here? I mean it's right there. So listen, they be buying my diary off me for nothing like 35 quid or something. That low? Like nothing. I'm like yeah sure take the ships. How much is a quid? I don't know. It's because I know you can get one for every quo.

Yeah. It sounds like it's $4 because of quad. Quad, quid quad. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the exchange rate is. Regardless, it's relatively low. It was super low.

It was like full dollar, like $4.35. So it's like a quarter. Yeah, like a quad. Absolutely nothing. Quart. And I'd be like, OK, well, yeah, like go ahead and take it. Then they go make the split. $4.35. So it's like a quarter million. Absolutely nothing. And I'd be like, OK, well, yeah, go ahead and take it. Then they go make this big movies with Zellweger's Renais

and Colin and Hug Grant. Hugh Grant, I believe is that video. You don't really hit that first G. Hug Grant. Famous lover of blow first G. Hug Grant. Famous lover of blowjobs, Hugh Grant. Jesus Christ. He's on record as loving him. Really?

And what he say, he's like, I love it. It's like my favorite thing in the world. I believe that's his quote. That sounds like that. The proof's in the pudding. I mean, if I can bring it back to diarrhea, the proof's in the pudding. Look, we all love blowjobs, probably. Probably, you in the pudding. I mean, if I can bring it back to diarrhea, the proof's in the pudding. What, we all love blow jobs, probably.

Probably, you never had one. You don't know. Hey. Bridget? What? You want me to keep talking? Yeah, I want you to keep talking. Okay, yeah, so they buy me diarrhea for me

for literally nothing. Then they go, they make this big movie, they make all this money. I'm like, what the shit? Sorry, I didn't get any of that so sorry I'm like I'm gonna go back to drawing board work on me diary then sells it make lots of money yeah because they bought the old diary diary by nature is every day right yeah I'm like so I'll work on me diary and then now 23 years later. I'm basically done with the shits I'm ready to make a new movie great took me that long, but I got some entries

I got like six sevens entries. Okay Will this be starring you will you actually get to star in your own story? Well, this is what the thing is like I'm like 55 like yeah, I want to tell like a young story So I'm fine with like young hot bitch playing me. You know, I mean, yeah, like, but I want to tell like a young story. So I'm fine with like young, hot bitch playing me. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, Bridget here, you're 55. You're kind of, I mean, like a butter face. And so, you know, it's not like you have.

Don't get me started with this shit again. Lily looking at you. I forget your face immediately. It's like, you know what you look like? What's that? You remind me of like a gyoza. A gyoza? The dumpling?

Yeah, you're all like fried and like full of meat. Interesting. And like you're super not hot, like a cold one. Hmm, interesting. Okay. What? What? That's what you look like.

What's that? So don't call me a butterface. I'm not mad hot. What do you call a butterface in England? Does it call something different? Shmear. Just a schmear. So you're like a schmear. So you want someone who's a little bit younger

to star in the movie. Yeah, like I want the movie to sell or whatever. I wanna make mad money. Like I'm not stupid. Like put the fucking hot bitch in. Right. Like who? Like today's Renee Zellweger.

Yeah, who would that be? I don't even know. Well, so like I got entry about it. Ashton Kutcher? Yeah,'s Renee Zellweger. Yeah, who would that be? I don't even know. Well, so like I got an entry about it. Ashton Kutcher? Yeah, Ashton Kutcher. Ashton Kutcher probably. Probably. Ashton Kutcher. You have an entry though, you say.

Yeah, I have an entry I can share with you. Yeah, I'd love to, give us a taste. Give us a taste of what the story might be. And then maybe we can cast it. Because Johnny here. I know some people. You can do an English accent. Oh, yeah, I certainly. Wait, is that I can I can certainly try to do one.

Yeah, right. That's mad good. That's what I thought. Yeah. That's mental. You sound exactly like my dad. Oh, great. Bridge. Let's read it. That's mental. That's absolutely mental. OK, let me read it. If there's a mental, there's absolutely mental.

Okay, let me read me diary entry, okay. Okay, here we go. This is Bridget Jones. A recent diary entry or something from the past 20- Recent, like I'm in LA, you know, like I'm taking in the city, like going to Target, going to like Home Depot. All the places. All the hell they stop.

All the places right off Sunset. I'm going to Yogurtland. I'm going to GameStop. Things you just saw. I'm going to... What else was there? What's that burrito place? I'm going to...

The Netflix office. Yeah, so like I'm taking in the city, you know what I mean? So here we go. Okay. Dear Ira, it's me, Bridget Jones Jones from Bridget Jones' Dyrrha. It was a typical Hollywood morning. Woke up to the sounds of people's assholes being bleached.

Put on me stompers and headed out for a bit of brekkie. Ordered me self a cup of jiggy jizz and a plate of squally squog. When all of a sudden in walks famous Hollywood girl, Alison Williams, I knew this would be my moment. So I got them. So I told them I told her all about me, diary idea and insisted that she play me since I know that everybody wanted to

give her wiggy and poppy her dot. But then out of nowhere she'd be yelling at me to get away, something about me asking too many questions about her nosh. But then it hit me, clearly she was intimidated by me and me diary and scared I was coming for all of her quid and quill. But then again, who wouldn't be Love Bridge? Okay. Okay, a lot of potential there.

I mean, so this is gonna be a movie about your character going up to Alice in Williams and getting into a fight? No, you're listening. I think I was listening. No, you've been like mid-century modern furniture right now. You're pointy, you don't make sense. Okay, all right, I accept that criticism. You make no sense.

Right, but I mean, that's one of the, like the set pieces in the movie is a big. No, listen, I'm trying to approach her, have her play me. She's hot as shit, you know? Sure, yeah. She has a good singing voice. Yeah, she played Peter Pan pretty famous. Peter Pan, yeah, like that's me.

Yeah. Like I look like Peter Pann like she can mad nail me You know I mean, but didn't you say that the movie was gonna be based on these diary entries Williams within in this scene you and then who would be playing Allison Williams I put this wig on I'll be honored to get Brian Williams. You think we can get him? B-Dubs? Do you think he retired just for this, maybe?

He might. He would do it. He loves nothing more than a challenge. He loves a camera on him. He would play young me. Allison would play old me. Right. We'd have this conversation in the Lily-Gone circles.

Yeah. Yeah. I would love to see this. Yeah, I think there's a lot of, like I said, a lot of potential there. Thank you. It's a very meta. It's very everything all at once.

Everything everywhere. It's like breaking the fourth wall, talking straight to camera. No, no, like meta world peace. Yeah, whatever. It's literally like, I don't even care. Maybe you could release it on meta. Yeah.

In the metaverse. Well, yeah, like Mark Zuckerberg, like you friends with him or whatever? I don't know Zucks. You've never met Zucks? I've never met the Zucks. You've never sucked the Zucks? I've met the, I've never sucked on Zucks,

but I've met the Zuckers. Oh really, the Zaz? Zaz, I had a meeting with the Zaz. Oh really, I met one of them. Didn't they go, they went their separate ways. Heartbreak? One of them did, yes, The one I met did, yes. Oh, fun.

Uh-oh, like drama or whatever. You gonna tell the secrets? No, no, no. It's a well-told story at this point, but I'd love to hear more of your entries. Do you have more? I got more entries for you. You're like begging for them.

You're like fucking horny for them. I'm gonna give them to you, I guess. Horny for them. You're literally like freaking out. You want them so bad. Okay, dear diarrhea. It's me, Bridget Jones from Bridget Jones' Diarrhea, which is gonna be a script someday.

It was a typical Hollywood afternoon. Walked down the street to the sounds of plastic surgeons breaking people's noses. Popped in a shop for a bit of lunch and ordered meself a massive slimy blimey topped with stinky snappies. What, can I interject, what is that? I mean, I get that it's like in English.

A slimy blimey topped with stinky snappies. Yeah, like what would we call it here in America? It's a pasta. Oh, okay. It's a ravioli. With like, you know, meat and cheese. Oh, got it, got it, got it. Maybe it was a burger. Yeah, I couldn't quite tell exactly what it was.

Stinky snappies? I guess not. You would never put stinky snappies on a burger. Stinky snappies are literally like a bolognese. Oh, got it. Is this like cockney slang? Or is it just what happens to be? This is from my village. Oh, got it. Is this like cockney slang or is it just what happens to be? This is from my village.

Oh, your village. My village. It takes a village. It does. All right. Sorry to interrupt. Please continue. No, like it's fine or whatever. I know you're horny for it.

I'll give it to you. OK, where was I? Oh, did me self a slimy by me tough and stumpy stinky. Okay, where was I? Oh, did me self a slimy by me toughest umpies stinky When all the sudden in walks famous Hollywood person Billy Ray Cyrus, whoa Wow I knew this is gonna be my moment So I tell him all about me diary movie and ask if you want to play me love interest cuz I know Everyone wants to umpty-dumpty is pretty good Pog interest because I know everyone wants to Humpty Dumpty is pretty good pog. Then out of nowhere he says he's gonna throw me out of my cheeky donker. Something about all the pictures I drew on the iPad of him exposing his fruit

basket to Miley. Then it hit me. Clearly this man was intimidated by me and my diary and scared I was coming for all of his lockets full with pictures of dead people in them. What? Is that how he keeps his riches? Then again, who wouldn't love Bridge? Okay, interesting. What, what's that face?

So this whole movie is just you accosting like F-list celebrities? It's me making my movie. Like, think about all the movies about making movies. Like the recent Downton Abbey movie. No, like literally. Which is just insane. That they're making a movie, a talkie in Downton Abbey,

and the butler starts writing the script. I didn't know any of this, this is mad crazy. Yeah, make sure you don't have too much crossover with that. You know like how everybody want to make the movie about what's happening right now in Venice with all them famous people. With the Don't Worry Darling. Yeah. With starring friend of the show, Nick Kroll.

Right. And Harry Styles spitting on Chris Pine Tree. Oh yeah. And then Florence Pugh. Yeah. Florence Pugh. I'm sorry, I think she, you do hit the hard G with her. Yeah, Pugh. Yeah, Pugh.

I thought it was Puh. It's actually Florence Puh. Florence Puh. Puh. Yeah, she should star in your movie. What about that? Not that, there you go. See, she's mad hot. I love that bitch.

I'd absolutely be mad interested in her paying me. Yeah. But I don't know, like, can you get me in a meeting with her? Yeah, I mean, you're the one who got Tom Hanks for that. I can make this happen tomorrow. Like you send her Instagram message, whatever, be like, what's up?

I'm sure she's probably coming here to do Press 4, Don't Worry Darling. Oh, I'm sure she wants to do one. I'm sure she's gonna do one. Absolutely, she'll be in town for the Emmys, walk in the carpet. She'll probably present to the Emmys tonight. She'll probably present at the Emmys. Absolutely. If somebody loses, she'll be in town for the Emmys, walk in the carpet. She'll probably present to the Emmys tonight. She'll probably present at the Emmys.

Absolutely. If somebody loses, she'll probably come out and say, don't worry, darling, it'll be fine. I'll accept this on your behalf. I will accept this on your behalf. Also, and then I'll just be like, Flo! Yeah, say, Miss Flo, what's up? It's John, I have got your next project.

Don't worry, darling. And then slap her like Will Smith did. Just like a hearty slap. Yeah, wow, this is a good play. That's a way to do it. Cause I know Scott can't be doing shits for me. What do you mean? Well, he's busy.

He's a podcast emperor. Not doing nothing. He's a podcast empire, and he's consistently speaking into my group. It's not like I'm invited to the Emmys anymore. Not anymore, not since I stepped up. You're literally all day just sitting there like Forever 21 dressing room, like absolutely dirty and empty. I don't know what you're talking about right now.

Filthy. Do they have Forever 21 out there in Britain? They got it, yeah. It's everywhere. It's in the metric system though, so it's like Forever 17 and a half. Yeah. I didn't realize that was related to interest. They got it, yeah. It's everywhere. It's in the metric system, though. So it's like forever 17 and a half. Yeah. Right. I didn't realize that was related to interest.

It was the numbers, too. Yeah, it's always, yeah, in years. It's what they wish the age you would be. They don't want you 21. They want you 16, 17. I was wondering, though, Bridget, very big news out of the empire today. I don't know if you kept up.

Oh, yeah. We may be covering that on a future show. Oh, really? We could certainly not talk about it if you don't want to. Yeah, but are you gutted? I'm mad gutted, like I can't believe it. Like she was so young. She was so young.

For a very old woman, she was so young. She was a little baby. She was a young 96. I couldn't believe it when they said she was sick. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. That's insane. That can't was sick. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. That's insane. That can't be true. I'm so sorry.

Here, let's take your mind off this. Let's read another entry. I know you're mad horny about it. I'm horny. I don't know about I'm horny. Okay, here we go. Dear Diarrhea, it's me, Bridget Jones from Bridget Jones' Diarrhea, the movie to Bridget Jones from Bridget Jones's Diarrhea the movie to be.

It was a typical Hollywood night. Called me an Uber to the sounds of actors crying. Snuck a bevy and ordered me a happy baby with a side of chimichanga. When all of a sudden in walks the famous Hollywood robot, Liam Michelle. I knew this was my moment, so I tell her that there's some outlets over there so she can charge herself to 100% and get back to not reading. When all of a sudden in walks Ellen from Ellen. I ask her if she wants to play me mom in me diary movie since I know everyone wants to dunk in donuts or guinea pigs. And then out of nowhere she be saying she's gonna slice me noggy with a DVD

the Da Vinci Code because I looked at her in the eyeballs. But then it hit me. Clearly this woman was intimidated by me and thinks that I'm coming for her Princess Diana beanie babies. again who wouldn't love bridge Okay, there's a lot happening in that one. Yeah, this is a double celeb sighting. That was a big one. Lea Michele and Ellen. Lea Michele was like the misdirect. Yeah. Ellen comes in and cleans up. Yeah, see Ellen she she knew Lea Michele was there. They're friends. Oh they're friends. That makes sense. That makes sense. I would think by this point that Lea Mich probably have a wireless charging, wouldn't you think? I would think so, yeah.

She's an outlet girl. She's old school like that. She's like, plug me in. Her ass is outlet only. Boy. Jesus Christ. I want to confirm that. Then I have to delete a lot of this part, huh? I thought that she was in New York doing Funny Girl. No she come to LA like she can... Oh she's commuting. There's more than one of her so one of us is in New York right now.

Of course mass produced. Obviously she's got multiple and then none of them can read one little word. So did she learn that part phonetically? What? The funny girl part? She just has to be funny. And all of her glee lines as part? She just has to be funny. Girl. And all of her glee lines as well? Did someone have to, she just learned them like as syllables? She listened on podcasts. Oh, someone had to make a podcast. Were you a member of the glee line in high school?

Oh, of course. Yeah, glee club? You wish you were in glee. Were you? No. Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't, we didn't have a glee club. You didn't really?

Well, you know. We had chorus, but there was no glee involved. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. You're all very sad. Were you a member of the Glum Club? Well, Bridget, this is I don't know if this any of this makes a good movie, but right now, I think here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking seven episodes right to streaming and keep it as almost a reality show.

Yes. Let's because I want to see these interactions between these these let's call them marginally famous people. Yeah. And then Bridget Jones. And then I want to see how they how they interact. Oh, up and down Sunset Boulevard. I feel like I'm open to it.

Like if you can get me mad meetings, I'm down for whatever. Like I don't want to be stuck here looking like Scott, you know? I don't want to be like a plate of empty Tupperware, like all stinky and stained like Scott. Like that might be. My career's not that bad. I mean, sure.

Like anything. Was my movie one of the last ones to come out before the pandemic and it totally stalled my career? Sure. All she's saying I think is that you could have put on a clean shirt. Yeah, like you're all covered in stains and stuff. It's like, did you eat like a stinky stumpy before this?

Pasta, you mean? Yeah, like you're covered in little, wait, I gotta write me another entry. You're writing one right now? I'm writing one right now. You're inspiring me, Scott. OK. All right. I'm like, gosh, it's just coming out of me.

It's pouring out of me. You want me to read it? Oh, yeah, while you're writing it? Read it as you write, please. Please. Dear diarrhea, it's me, Bridget Jones, from Comedy Bang Bang. I know that you can say that you're from comedy. Well, she's here right now.

So it was about that. I was on one episode of the Jimmy Kimmel show. I wouldn't say Scott Ockerman from the Jimmy Kimmel show. I wouldn't correct you. From my podcast, Coma Bang Bang. It was a typical earwolf afternoon. Dregs me self a massive bottle of water and then wrote me name on the table with a drying sharpie when all of a sudden in walk

not famous tiny angry baby man Scott Ockerman I knew this is gonna be my moment so I called me manager to tell him that if I die here today because Scott kills me to give me ashes to Tom Cruz can it so he can spread him over the mountains in his tiny plane but then it hit me. Clearly Scott Elkman was intimidated by me and thinks I'm coming for his hentai. Hey, now this hentai thing.

Not really. I don't know how this got started. What are you talking about? I don't know how this rumor got started that I'm into hentai. You love hentai. I don't know. I saw all your likes on Twitter,

like every single like, hentai, hentai, hentai, hentai. And then once, sure, I accidentally just tweeted hentai gifs, because I was searching for it. I tweeted instead. And you did a paste. Exactly, exactly. Yeah, like you're mad obsessed. What?

I don't know, Bridget. I'm not, I don't think this would make a good movie is my main, yes, I'm personally insulted by that last entry, but I just don't know that this is a good movie. Like, are you not entertained? Like, aren't you mad horny for like every entry? I guess. But John, are you, you want to be attached to this movie? I don't want to be attached to it at all. I don't want to be in the same room with it, really.

But I would say that there is a place on, on like a, like a, like not Peacock, but like Peacock minus. Yeah, see-so, like something like that. Like not peacock but like peacock minus See so if you see so things say something yeah like negative paramount yeah, Pegative my Pegative Paramount minus in that man did you ever call peg Pegative Pegative accidentally hey Pegative Yeah, that's what the money is for you're being Pegative You guys ever been pegged? Uh, I don't know the meaning to discuss whether or not I have. Lily, you want to talk about all this other mad crazy shit,

but you don't want to talk about being pegged. You're like, let me talk about I'm Frank. Is that what you're into? No. Don't want to talk about it so I'm going to choose on the other. Awfully silent there. No, no. What? No. See, this is the diary entry I want to read, it. So I'm going to choose on the other side. Awfully silent. No, like what?

No. See, this is the diary Andrea wanted to read is about your sexual exploits. Literally, like I get horny from the queen and like she fucking died today. I'm sorry, you're never going to be horny again. I'm never going to be horny again. I'm so sorry.

Look, we have to take a break, Bridget, if that's OK. It's fine. Like. Can you stick around though? I guess. Like you're mad begging me, but it's like, okay I'll stay please mourn while you're here It would be better for you to mourn the Queen well, you know in the company of people who can help you

What you want to hug me or something? I don't want to hug you But if you like please let me touch you. I'm like, I'm good. Like the table distance is safe. I Like to keep a table distance from all of my guests. You're getting a little're getting a little close by the way. That's fair, that's fair. We have to take a break, but when we come back, we have a travel guide. You've traveled. I mean, you've been in three places. Britain, New York, and this place.

I came from my village here. Right, yeah. So I travel. Okay, so this will be interesting. When we come back, we'll have more Bridget Jones, more Jon Hamm, and a travel guide. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Jon Hamm of Confess Fletch is here with us. And the movie Confess Fletch is in theaters and streaming on Friday. And 16th. And then next month it goes to Showtime.

And re-platforms and de-platform and pre-platforms and three Replatforms and D platform and pre platforms and three platforms. Oh my God, this is exciting. All platforms. How many Oscars is it going to be nominated for? And then how many does it actually get? Do you think? It depends. Like I think at a certain point we have to say like stop.

Yeah. Like during the nomination ceremony, you're like like, guys, we're pulling the movie. It's like six in the morning and you know, Cedric, the entertainer is reading this and he keeps reading the name and you're confess, let's confess. Let's come on. Hey, said, stop. Thank you enough. 28 nominations is enough. It's embarrassing to Titanic. Yes, really. Exactly. So yeah, so at a certain point we will just say thank you very much as you would to an August institution

like the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, AMPAS. Oh yes. Oscars.org. Backslash vote. Spoken like someone who is a member. Maybe. What did you get?

Wait, why are you a member? Maybe! What did you get? Why are you a member? Cause you've been in a couple of movies. Is that what it is? You know, I will say this in all honesty, I have no idea. I was as surprised as you to actually get that in the mail. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me of like,

why they invite some people and they don't invite other people. But I like it. I like that you're a member because I like people, I like you voting for things. I, yes, I have wonderful taste. Yes. I voted for quite a few Emmys. I voted of course for our good friend, Adam Scott. Yes. I hope he wins and, uh, voted for a Chippendale and that one. So, yeah, so there you go.

Did you vote for my commercial? The, uh, what was nominated for best? The flow commercials. Why are you making so many commercials? I have bills to pay Scott. What are these bills? What's going on here? I would like to leave it alone. Alright. Never mind. How I spend my money. Or don't.

Alright. And Bridget Jones is here obviously. Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? It's in there. Like a pair of J. Crew jeans, fit. What? I'm fit? No, you don't fit well in it. Oh, I don't fit, I'm not fit. You're not worth it, you know what I mean?

Not worth the cost. Got it. Well, we have to get to our next guest. He's a travel guide. This is exciting, because I, you know, I did a little bit of traveling during the summer. Did you go anywhere, John? I was in Italy and France.

I was in Italy, too. Hey, what part? I wonder if we were there at the same time. We're on the boot. All over. I was- On the shin? Just really, on the shin, really.

Oh. That famous, famous boot kicking that rock. I was all over. I was Rome, I was Amalfi, everywhere in between. I was in Naples. Yeah, I was in Naples, too. And Naples adjacent. Naples kind of, I don't know.

Well- Good pizza. Good pizza, though, I'll tell you that. You're gonna have to cut that from the podcast. That was mad offensive. To who? To not like Naples. It's like mental. Okay. Have you been to Naples? No, but I protect it with my life.

Even the Italians who were there were like, Naples is... Yeah, maybe not so much. Well, I do need some travel tips because I want to take a few more vacations before I die. I'd like to explore more of the boot. Maybe the heel. Oh yeah. Maybe the instep. Totally, yeah. Maybe the top part where you pull it on. Yeah, the hole.

Yeah, the hole in the top. If you're lucky, there's only one hole in every shoe you have. So true. It's the dirtiest thing I've ever heard. What? It's nasty. Why'd you shut the fuck up? All right ever heard. What? It's nasty. Why'd you shut the fuck up?

All right, let me get to our next guest. He's a travel guide. Please welcome Steve Spinks. Hello, Scott. It's wonderful to be here in beautiful Los Angeles, California. Yes, welcome to Los Angeles. Are you not from here?

I'm not from here. I'm from Bellingham, Washington. Oh, Bellingham, Washington. A beautiful place up in the Pacific Northwest. That's by Seattle, is it not? It is. It's closer to the Canadian border. Oh, okay. A beautiful place to in the Pacific Northwest. That's by Seattle, is it not? It is, it's closer to the Canadian border. Oh, okay. A beautiful place

to visit. Home of the University of Washington, I believe? False, home of Western Washington University. That's exactly what I meant. WWU. This, by the way, this man who errantly said what school it was, this is Jon Hamm. Hello, Jon Hamm. How do you do?

Wonderful to see you in beautiful Los Angeles, California. And we establish you are not from here. No, I'm from Washington. I'm visiting, yes. Home of Western Washington University. That's correct. Yes. This is Bridget Jones. Hello Bridget Jones. It's wonderful to see you in beautiful Los Angeles, California. Lily, what's up? Awesome to meet you. Excited to go exploring Los Angeles with you. Yes, we'll have to get together and see the sights and sounds of Los Angeles. Maybe we could go to Subway or something cool. Sure, a wonderful local eatery, like Subway Sandwiches. I can't wait to explore.

So you're a travel guide. What does that mean, especially in today's economy? Well, I've written several guide books on different places to see. And I have a popular video series guiding people through many popular travel destinations. You see, I have a simple life philosophy that travels really changed my life.

And I believe in two things. One, I believe that every person should have their mind expanded by traveling abroad. And two, I believe murder should be legal. So if I can give you some tips about weirdness. I would like to maybe revisit two. What's going on? Yeah, hold up, because you said two things in one sentence.

One sounds great. Sounds great to me. One I think is what I love to focus on. And the other was about travel. Right, good. So you understand. Very few people understand. What is this, you say murder should be legal?

Now is this something that your travels have led you to believe? Well, you know, this is very separate from my travel work. This is just something I work on passionately in my spare time. But it's funny you say, I was inspired to have this viewpoint on the very first international trip I ever took to the beautiful Amalfi Coast.

There I was on the beach in Positano, a young boy looking at crabs and other sea creatures and tearing them limb from limb. And I looked out in the water and I saw two beautiful men in a rowboat and one of them killed the other one as I watched. And I thought, my God, the magic of travel. You know, here is a man living life,

and then as he rode back to shore, I said, I'll keep his secret, and I'll become a travel writer. Isn't this the plot to Talented Mr. Ripley? Talented Mr. Ripley, I believe. I don't know, I'm not familiar. I don't even know. Because it seems awfully similar.

It seems a lot like it. Awfully similar. Two beautiful men, though. All I know is I saw two gorgeous hunks fighting in a rowboat, and it inspired my point of view. Are you attracted to men? I actually have no sexual feelings towards anyone whatsoever.

Oh really? Yeah, I consider myself a member of the asexual community. Oh, okay. Wonderful. But you are on a just purely a... I'm attracted to anything that bleeds blood. You know what I mean? Hell yeah. Like mad, that's awesome.

Bridget gets it. So anyway, I'd love to give you some travel tips as we move into the fall. Yeah, I'd love to. It sounds like it's going to be illuminating. Well, obviously you guys have explored Italy, I'd be remiss if I didn't recommend the eternal city, Rome herself.

A beautiful place to visit, to soak up the sights and sounds of culture of the ancient Roman world. I mean, the entire city is built on the bones of the dead. You could practically hear their whales as you wander their cobblestone streets. Yeah. Right, I mean, there's an awful lot to recommend. I have been to Rome, it's beautiful.

The eternal city, they call it. That's right. All roads lead. I have been to Rome, it's beautiful. The eternal city they call it. That's right. It's a... All roads lead there. All roads lead there. That's right. There's seven hills, there's some wonderful food and beautiful things to see in the art world.

The Vatican is there. Of course. Vatican is beautiful. Maybe like any of those, have you been to see any of the sights? Why are you concentrating on the bones of the dead? Yeah, it feels a little... I don't know that I was concentrating on it. I mean, it's never far from my thoughts,

but I try to push those away so I can soak up the culture and the beautiful Campo di Fiori, and their outdoor market. Yeah, when you say the bones of the dead, who are you talking about? You're just people who have died there? I'm talking about a couple people that I know who have died there for sure.

Couple people you know. Specific people. Yes. Who are we talking about here like um my cameraman? A couple of my camera man couple of your camera man died cameraman have passed away What happened murder through murder through murder through murder and did you do any any leads on the suspect? I didn't investigate. I murdered. Oh. Oh, so you murdered. You murdered. I murdered. Now, was there a reason?

There doesn't need to be a reason for people to commit murder, John. I feel like I'm getting your sense of why you feel murder should be legal. Look, there's no sense in controlling and regulating any of humanity's simple vices. I'm talking of course about sex, drugs, and murder. The three things that all human beings want at all times.

Hell yeah, I totally agree. Like get mad pegged and like eat your stinky staples and like you know, live your life. Like murder somebody, like hell yeah. I don't know. I feel like all those three things are very highly regulated and with good reason. Well, I'd like to those three things are very highly regulated and for good reason. Well, I'd like to live in a world where none of them are regulated.

So what about manslaughter? Should that be regulated? Manslaughter? Please, God, keep the manslaughterers at bay. I have no patience for the manslaughterers, people driving their cars recklessly or throwing people off the boats. Yeah, these are accidents. Those are simply accidents. Those are simply accidents.

Those are simply accidents. And people should be more careful. They should be, you know, prosecuted with the full extent of the law. Yes, exactly. But murder is just a simple human urge. Is that what you're trying to say? I think it's a simple human urge. And I think everyone should get at least one.

I've had a few, but everyone should get one. You know, when you say at least one, though, are you saying after the first, you should be prosecuted or? No. No. When you say at least one though, are you saying after the first you should be prosecuted or? No! What a beautiful singing voice. Yes, sorry, I'm warming up my pipes. Can you sing like maybe Jeremy Piven? Sing Jeremy Piven like that? Yeah, I could sing like that.

Yes, of course, but it would be nothing compared to the beautiful songs you might hear wandering the streets of Rome. Oh, yes. Well, of course, at Bridget's here, Bridget hails from one of the most incredible capitals of the world, London, England. My village! That's right, your village. Just across the pond.

Just across the pond, a beautiful place for people to visit where you can see such wonderful sights as the great Trafalgar Square or Buckingham Palace or of course you could walk the very alleys that Jack the Ripper walked in as he tore prostitutes limb from limb in the practice that I consider to be quite fun. Now interestingly no one's ever successfully identified or found the person known as Jack the Ripper. Do you have any insight on that? Well, I think it speaks to a simpler time when people didn't want to look too hard

at someone who was murdering other people. And maybe we could take a little less of those times and not investigate why cameramen keep going missing at different shoots throughout Europe and other regions abroad. Did did you murder some cameramen in England? Yes, I did. Yes. OK, I don. Yes, Scott. I want to focus on recommending a trip for you. I don't want to focus.

I'm curious as to how you keep getting these cameramen to sign on to these very, very dangerous jobs. I wouldn't work for you after the first incident, I think. Well, that's why I go to college students. I mean, it's a lot of USC film students. Got it. Yeah, I'm young, you know what I'm talking about. The NYU kids don't know no better,

you know what I mean. So, you know. So I've had a couple of 16 year olds. They were two 16 year old camera people who were- You love 16 year olds. 32 year olds. Yeah, that makes one 32 year old cameraman. And that's all you need to make a shoot, really.

Yeah, huh. You know, and I think it's fine to, you know, if you have a personal connection with someone, like someone's in your employ, and- That's a personal connection? Yeah, I think I consider that to be a personal connection. Yeah, mad close with my boss and all that. Yeah, famously so, yes.

Yeah, right, like you have sex with them and stuff. Well, I wasn't having sex with anyone, I wanna be clear about that, okay? You're an asexual murderer. I'm an asexual murderer. You just killed them. Murder is not motivated from a sexual kind of thing. No, no, no, God, no, no, no, no. Although do you feel powerful and-

Must to kill. Yes, I feel, well, I feel akin to God in that moment when my eyes go jet black and my hands wrap around the tight neck of a 16 year old cameraman. Well, so you're like a strangler, like that's how you kill most of the time? I don't discriminate against any way you want to kill. If it be it strangling or drowning someone in the River Thames, a beautiful river all

throughout London, where you can see it from the eye of London if you ride that beautiful Ferris wheel. Literally all the places you've mentioned, I'm like, I don't know that one, I don't know that one. Interesting, you've never been to those places? I'm learning like mad stuff right now. What about that big Ferris wheel? I knew where the queen was, that's about it.

Where was she? She's in the palace. In my village. I gotta say Steve, it seems like you're way more interested in murder than travel. I feel like you guys have forced me to this conversation. Oh no, you offered it up very quickly. It was the second thing you said. I'd love to roll back the tape because I don't know that that is the case.

I certainly don't want to anger you. Be careful. I mean, we're not your cameraman. At all. Nor are we in your employ. Fair enough. I don't want anyone to be afraid. Although I guess Scott, you probably are paying him to be here.

I know. That's true. What a personal connection you and I have. I'm not going gonna pay you. No, okay. To free me. Well, wonderful. To free me.

Of course, you're getting wonderful travel tips from me. Why would you? I'm getting paid in travel tips, yes. Yes, of course. No, look, I don't want to murder anyone necessarily. I believe murders should be rare, safe, and legal. That's all I feel about it, okay? It's just an option that people should have.

If you want to murder, go for it. So what are the parameters then? If you want it to be so rare, I mean, how many do you get a year? You've got quite a few under your belt. Well, I'm an experienced murderer. I like to regularly check in with my own bloodlust to make sure that it's at a reasonable level.

Where are we at right now? Right now? Yes. High. High. Really? Right now it's high. Oh, I'm sad and it's at a reasonable level. Where are we at right now? Right now? Yes. High. High. High. Really? Right now it's high.

Oh, I'm sorry, that's so freaking fun. Yeah. Your eyes are like all black and shit. I can feel the blackness entering my pupils. Your hands are just tightening up. Certainly. Yes, I'm beginning to disassociate. Also very, very sweaty.

Oh, that's never not the case. Oh, okay, so we shouldn't bleed into anything. Oh, there's a bit of sweat going on. Okay, good to know. Well, I'm so excited about the't lose anything. Oh, there's a bit of sweat going on. OK. Well, I'm so excited about the possibility of travel. He worked into a lather. Oh, yes. Yes, I like to lather my body in my own sweat.

Yes, it's a way to cool my temperature, which I find as my core temperature rises, I am closer to the act of murder itself, to becoming God and killing again. I'm rethinking sitting on this side of the table. I know. I wish you were closer to the door. Yeah, well, although I do like how far away he is. Yeah, we do have the table between us. Because he's a little closer to Bridget at this point. I'm not worried at all.

I'm like, really like. You are representing very calm. But yeah. You're like almost man-spreading right now. You're so calm. I'm spreading my legs wide as hell, like doing the splits, just sitting in this freaking seat. Why are you so calm, Bridget?

Do you have no fear of death? I'm just like, if I'm going to die, go right ahead. It's already preordained. God has already decided when we're going to die. I'll go see the queen. You know what I mean? The prospect of death, it seems to be making you a little horny.

Well, I'm like mad horny for death, if I really think about it. Really? That's something you a little horny. Well, I'm like mad horny for death, if I really think about it. Really? That's something you both have in common. Well, that's, again, asexual, that's something that I believe you should be allowed to explore. If you're feeling horny about death, why not explore it?

Well, it's just cool to watch people's life drain from behind their eyes, you know? I couldn't agree more. Bridget Jones. Well, it's like when I come on this podcast, I watch people sitting here, their eyes shutting down I noticed that as well. Yes, I

Never realized watching your first two movies that you were so into like murdering people. Right? Well, yeah Maybe maybe just watching them be murdered. Maybe I don't know if she wants to get her hands dirty. Yeah Yeah, I do know this would make a hell of a diary entry. That's true. Oh, God damn, like too bad. I'm like doing the splits right now. It can't reach me, Ben. I'm literally thinking about like, when I told you how 23 years ago they changed all the diaries

and they made the movie all messed up with Znell Wiggins-Bernay, like actually there was murders. There were murders in your original diaries? Mad murder. Really? Mad murder. That's a movie I would have liked to see to get the sights and sounds of London, England There were murders in your original diaries? Not murder. Really? Not murder. If that's a movie I would have liked to see, to get the sights and sounds of London, England,

and also the sights and sounds of blood pouring down Renez O'Egger's arms as she strangles Hugh Grant to death. Well, a hug had a problem with me. Blood pours out when you strangle someone? Well, if you do it right, I guess. If you do a strangulation motion, then also bring your thumbs up into their eye sockets to puncture as much as you possibly can. Hell yeah, hell yeah.

Alarmingly specific. Now Scott, as a lover of hentai, perhaps you would be interested in going to the land of the rising sun, Japan. Barely know what it is, oh really? You could plan a beautiful trip to the nation of Japan. You could start in Osaka by the sea and enjoy their delicious street food,

move to Kyoto and see the old shrines on top of the hill, and then go to the bustling urban metropolis of Tokyo itself that is filled with so many people that who would notice if just one went missing? Okay, yeah. A cameraman, does that work? I was gonna say, it doesn't have to be a cameraman. It could be anyone.

It could be a street vendor. It could be- Hentai artist. It could be a hentai artist after they've given you what you wanted. It could be a street vendor. It could be. Hentai artist. It could be a hentai artist after you do, after they've given you what you wanted. It could be anything. Do they have street hentai artists? Yes, yes they do. I bet Scott knows exactly where they're located.

He's like, gonna do his little caricature tour. Please join me with octopus legs. Oh please, I want to know. Can you, that would be something fun to see. That little hentai caricature. Yeah. So you're into hentai? Draw me with a big forehead and a tentacle penis. Tweet Scott Elkman with the hentai pictures. And tweet Steve Spinks as well.

I'd like to get my hands on some of those. Oh yeah. What is your handle? Our first hub, the show. We did it. I'd like to get my hands on some of those. Oh yeah, what is your handle? Huh? Huh? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Our first hug, the show. We did it.

It's at Steve Loves Travel slash murder is fine. Okay, and the slash is written out? Mm-hmm, yes, yes. And then there's a knife emoji, is that? I'm looking you up right now. Slash murder. Yes, couple of knife emojis, you know, and that's just something I advocate for.

Okay. I don't know, I... What don't you know? What don't you get? I confess, Fletch, that I... Sometimes when I'm doing the show, I feel the need to alert the authorities about one of our guests. That's what it feels like.

We're getting dangerously close to... I'm not legally bound to it like a psychiatrist or anything. But I feel like at some point we become aiding and or abetting and or accessories to this. And this is a classically backwards mindset that is really, you know, that's an ancient way of thinking, okay? I wanna bring us into the 21st century

where we think of murder, not as just the brutal ending of a life, but as the fun ending of a life. I see. It's also the beginning into whatever the afterlife is. That's right. Think of that. It's a gateway portal.

Think of the favor I've done for all those young cameramen as I've ushered them across that bridge into another realm. Like, why don't you be killing the sound guy? Sound guy's great. I mean, our producer Devin is over here. He's recording all this. Maybe you could kill him.

I've got no complaints about Devin sounding great. Now I don't wanna, you know, maybe you don't wanna state the obvious, but there is a camera running on this that Devin is controlling. Oh shit. Yeah, I mean, I'm not recording it. I'm not recording it. Yeah, right, Scott's been recording this the whole time.

Not my camera, I've never even seen this. I knew it. And that's been pointed at me the whole time. Not my camera. I've never even seen this. I knew it. And that's been pointed at me the whole time? It just took pretty much. It's a pretty wide angle. I don't even know if it's pointed at you necessarily as maybe getting all of this.

Because it seems like it's been sort of mismanaged the entire time in terms of, I don't know that the frame has been correct, which when I get in the goddamn edit room, it's gonna be a goddamn nightmare, Devin, when I look at this fucking footage. Are you fucking kidding me? Maybe Devin should probably take a, Yeah, maybe Devin should probably take a,

take a five? Yeah, maybe Devin should take a vacation. Maybe Devin should take a permanent vacation to the other side of the world, to deep underneath the world. Oh, Devin's trying to walk out of the god damn studio. He thinks that'll save him. He thinks I don't know where his car is

in the air wolf parking lot. He thinks I don't know how to crawl under the chassis of a car and ride it all the way home to jump out of his parking garage when he least expects it. Yes, of course I do. I learned how to do it in Mumbai, India when I was riding in some of their exciting vehicles of the bustling traffic of Mumbai, India.

Well, I can't wait to travel. Like literally everything you're saying. I'm like, I gotta go on a plane. Exactly. See, maybe if your mind was broadened by a travel experience, you would understand that human life is cheap and nothing we do matters. Well, I did like the fact that actually talking about travel

seemed to calm you down a little bit. It did, it did. Yeah, you were very close to the edge. It's still real far out over the skis there. It's one of the- Speaking of skis, have you ever been on a ski vacation? Yes, of course, beautiful. Aspen, Colorado, it's not an international destination,

but you'll feel like you're in the Alps when you're riding those. It makes you breathe nice and easy. The high mountain air. That thin air. The thin air and the wonderful snow under which anything can be buried. Anything at all can be buried

and not found for months and months and months. Cold temperature does preserve the bodies though. That's true. I want them to be preserved. Oh, God. Oh, God. There's nothing wrong with the preservation of a beautiful, beautiful murder.

Oh, geez. Look, John, I think I gotta call the cops. I would say yes. I think maybe we should, can we just text the authorities? Listen, I'm gonna take care of this. I'm gonna text the powers. You're texting the queen? I'm texting the queen, she's not getting back to me.

She just died, remember? Oh God, I totally forgot. That was our only way out. I totally forgot. And was there a cause of death reported on the queen? No, this can't be you. Impossible. I didn't say anything at all.

She's an older woman. I in fact feel like maybe we might be talking to someone who might be directly responsible next week. So. So. Ah, I can't wait to listen. She wasn't old. She wasn't old.

She was so young. Older. Yeah, well look, Steve, I, don't pay any attention to me, what I'm doing with my phone right now. I won't, but I noticed Devin picked up an old landline in the next room, and Devin, you put that fucking landline down.

It's like one of those phones where the numbers go in circles. I'll kill you right now, that's it, I've declared my intentions over the airwaves. It's taking him so long to dial, he's like one, all the way around the circle. Is that a rotary phone? Two, all the way around the circle. He'll get there, he'll get there.

No one will miss you, Devin. We are running out of time, we only have time for one final feature around the circle. All the way around the circle. He'll get there, he'll get there. Look, we are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. Oh my God. And that's a little something called Plugs. I wanna love you. I wanna love you. I wanna plug this, I really wanna plug you. I wanna plug this.

Hey, that was I Wanna Plug You by John Kirby. Thanks to John Kirby. Really on brand for our guests. I love it. What do we wanna plug you by John Kirby. Thanks to John Kirby. Weirdly on brand for our guest. I love it. What do we wanna plug? John, obviously, confess Fletch. Confess Fletch. In theaters and streaming. This Friday.

Friday the 16th. Lucky 16. Lucky 916. 916, the luckiest of teens. Five days after 9-11. That's how we can always remember it. That's exactly right. And what else is in the hopper for you?

I mean, obviously Top Gun. You think they'll make another one of these Top Guns? Can they bring you back for a new Top Gun? Like you're the guy who was proven wrong in this one. You know what I mean? Well, I mean, that just gives me another opportunity to be proven right. That's right.

So maybe now you're on his side. You're like, I got to tell you to whoever the antagonist is saying, I was like, I was, I get it. I feel where you're coming from. I know exactly where you go. Check spotty cash. I know it. He's a 60 year old, whatever. Let me just tell you, I learned my lesson. Maybe you can too. Yes. Admiral Ed Harris. Oh yeah, he should come but he was only in the first scene. A lot of spoilers for Top Gun Maverick. What else is going on? Anything coming out down the line? Do we know? Nothing down the line other than hopefully Mr.

Slattery's film Maggie Moore. I think we'll be hitting the festival circuit. Can't wait to see that. And yeah, and that's about the size of it. All right, fantastic, but I cannot wait to see Confessed Fletch, that'll be this Friday. Thank you very much. Bridger. There is no hentai. No, oh, okay, forget it.

He's not gonna see it then. I just wanted to pre, you know, make you aware. All right. I didn't want you to be super disappointed. I'm a little disappointed. But I loved the hentai in Top Gun Maverick. Yeah, that was really good. Weird scene.

Weirdly, there was some hentai and Mad Men. Oh, really? No way. There was. I don't remember. Yes, there was. And when? Scott's going to go back.

Robert Morse's office. Robert Morse's office. There was some tentacle excitement. Oh, OK. I thought you were saying the very last scene. The last thing. The last thing. They slip it in in the Coke commercial. Bridget, what do you want to plug in?

Listen, I'm going to promote my own podcast that I listen to. I listen to This Book Changed My Life on CBB Presents and I listen to Going Deep on Stitcher Premium. Yeah, when's the new season of that come out? September 12th. Okay, oh, okay. Has that date already happened? Well, let's see, that's one day after 9-11. Yeah, it's all right.

No, that's today. It's today! It's today. It's coming out today! Perfect timing. Oh my gosh, so exciting. And then, of course, you gotta follow this mad hot bitch. She's so fucking hot Instagram and Twitter at L ILY Y ILY

Sounds like an English food the only one getting hungry. Steve, what do you want to plug? Well, I'd like to plug, of course, the concept of international travel. Please, if I could recommend anything to your listeners, it's to travel abroad, preferably to a place where the authorities are lax and they're not looking too closely at where things might be dumped. Perhaps there's no extradition treaty. Oh, Venezuela is beautiful at any time of year.

And of course I'm also a fan of podcasts and I'd like to plug a podcast called First Hand hosted by two morally bankrupt gentlemen like myself, Greg Gallant to Devin Field. And after, Devin Field has really caught my eye. He's who I'll be following after. You're gonna murder him. Well, after I handle this, Devin,

I'll see if I have a taste for it and move on to the next. So you're on a Devin character. Only Devin's in the building. Okay. Oh, that's good. That's fun. Who would be next, Sawa? Uh.

Okay, good. So go ahead. What's connecting these three murders? Oh, they're all named Devin. It's the perfect crime. So follow him before I kill him at batdevinfield on Twitter and Instagram. Okay, great. I want to plug. Look, we just got off of our tour, the Comedy Bang Bang tour that we did, 23 shows. And Bridget Jones is on the New York one along with some other great guests.

Like there's like a whole week in there that's mad awesome. Did you film those? No, no, no. It was a live experience only. Live experience and oral. Oral. Highly oral. But yeah, all 23 shows are over there at Comedy Bang Bang World as well as the aforementioned

This Book Changed My Life. There was an interesting guest on there, Jim Smith. There's this sicko on. There's a sicko named Jim Smith. Yeah, you would listen to this one then. I listened to it, oh yeah. Yeah, it was an interesting episode. It's disturbing. Maybe Jim Smith's just misunderstood.

He could be. No. Okay. He's some creepy substitute teacher. Oh, nevermind. That I cannot condone. Substitute teacher? That's right.

Oh, wow. Disgusting. Disgusting. Okay, so let's close up the old plug bag. Ooh. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

Beautiful. Oh no! Oh no! Beautiful! Yes, exactly! Whoa, doctor! I'm kind of hitting it off, I guess. Thank you, sir. Have you ever role played before? I'd love to have you. Run back! Run back!

That's what therapy is all about. Run back! Beautiful. Oh wow, I don't remember saying any of those things. That was awesome. That made my eyes go jet black. I'll tell you that. Oh no. Okay. We gotta calm you down. Get out of here. Thank you to, uh, that was Comedy Bow Bow by Mackleckner. Thanks so much to Mackleckner. Uh, and guys, I want to thank you so much, John. So great to have you back on. Thank you for having me. Is it official celebs are back? I think celebs are back. All right.

And Bridget, so great to have you. It was mental to be here. Absolutely devastating. So sorry about the queen. What? What happened to her? Oh, you don't even remember? Are you like a goldfish?

You barely remember a conversation? Is she OK? Did something happen? We'll talk about it after the show. Sorry about Ted Lasso. Okay. Sorry about Ted Lasso as well. And Steve, your eyes are black, you're sweaty,

your hands are curling up. Get me out of here before I do something I won't regret. Okay, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye. No, no, no, no. Yeah. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no