Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Paul Rust, Claudia O'Doherty, Carl Tart, Ego Nwodim (Old No-No's)

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

This is episode 6 of our "Old No-Nos" series, originally episode #474 titled "Solid As A Rock." Paul Rust and Claudia O’Doherty of Netflix’s LOVE return to this week’s Comedy Bang! Bang! They chat about getting haircuts on the set, Claudia’s typewriter, and Paul shares some New No-Nos. Then, musicians and geologists Bashford and Franklin stop by to sing a duet and to tell us how did they got interested in science. Plus, an exciting game of Would You Rather! Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here and welcome back to another Bonus Bang. Bonus Bangs are episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that we are re-releasing out from behind the paywall and we have made it. This is our sixth and final episode of a series we called Old No-Nos where we revisited archived CBB episodes featuring the new No No segment from Paul Rust. Now this episode is number 534. It's titled Solid as a Rock and it was originally released on March 4th 2018 and this features Paul Rust and Claudia O'Doherty as the guests. They were both on the TV series Love, of course, with Gillian Jacobs.

And we have also Bashford and Franklin, played by Carl Tartt and Eggo Wodom, joining in. Paul and Claudia talk about their TV series Love. There are new Nonos, of course, and then Bashford and Franklin sing a duet. You know what isn't a new Nono? The CBB Archive. That's right, if you've been enjoying this series, you can become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com where you can find every single episode we've ever recorded, as well as every live episode. We're gonna be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. Until then, enjoy this bonus bang. Comedie Bang Bang! Comedie Bang Bang! Comedie Bang Bang! Comedie Bang Bang!

Bang! Those are my loaves, those are my fishes, but those aren't my Hershey's Kisses. Welcome to Comedie Bang Bang. Thanks to Captain Pukefish. Barf. For that wonderful cashphrase submission and welcome to the show, Comedie Bang Bang, for another week. We are now at the very beginning of it, but I mean it's safe to say that we're in the throes of March, even though we're right at the beginning. March a very special month and I believe it's coming in like a lion, which means I guess the episodes at the end of the month won't be all that good.

They'll be out like a lamb. Who knows? Maybe I'm telling the truth, but this is a very incredible episode today Scott Aukerman by the way your host you know me from such things as this show but this is a great episode because for a number of years two to be exact. We've had a woman on this show by the name of Gillian Jacobs who starred in the television show or streaming content show, I'm not sure exactly what you would call it, but ones and zeros basically. You put them all together and her image appears. If you put them together in the right way, isn't that weird? If you put ones and zeros together in the right way, Gillian Jacobs will appear. Isn't

that strange? But she was on the television show Love and she would be on this show to talk about the season premieres of that for the last couple of years. And last year a gentleman by the name of Paul Rusch joined her, and this year she's not here. Anyway, we have two people who are here from said television show, Love. Please welcome the co-creator and the co-star, and also a co-star, and doesn't have anything to do with the creation of it.

No creation, I'm not a creative person. You're not? No, okay, we'll talk about that, but she's been on this show many times. He's been on this show many times. Please welcome back to the show, Paul Rust and Claudia O'Doherty. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Thank you so much. I believe some congratulations are in order. To whom? To me, from you, because once again, I won a competition to come on the show. Congratulations.

I didn't realize. Can I say congratulations? Yeah, please do, Paul. Congratulations. Paul, how have you been? I haven't seen you for so long. Yeah, it's been, how long? Five minutes?

Is that true? Hold on. We saw each other outside the studio. Oh, okay, but previous to that, this may be what you mean. But previously, I guess the last time I would have seen Paul was when we were on set for the show. The show Love, by the way. It's on Netflix. The show Love! Season 3 is coming out this Friday, March 9th.

Yes. I can't wait for people to see it. Yes, and you're in this. Now, let's talk about this because you've been on the show a few times. Yes. A few years back, what happened? You're from Sydney, Australia. I'm from Sydney, Australia, and I, my mom and I are very, very close, and she entered me into a competition that got me onto Comedy Bang Bang. She, unbeknownst to you. Unbeknownst to me, because I love to colour things in,, join dots. If I see a puzzle, I'll do

it. Sure. And lots of times... By the way, for anyone who has a puzzle out there, keep them away from Claudia. Keep them away from me because I will solve the puzzle, spot the differences, all of those kind of things. And lots of times, I don't know if you realize this, Paul, I don't know if you realize this, Scott, those puzzles are connected to competitions. Oh. Really?

So I would just, I'd be coloring things in or spotting differences and then even just doing crosswords, find the words, you name it, I've done it. Sure. And then lots of times I didn't realize but they would be connected to competitions and I would win them and then my mom would send me to wherever that could be.

Well, you would win the prize, a trip to somewhere. Yeah, so your mother just, unbeknownst to you someday, came up to you and said, Claudia, good news, you won a competition. Yes. And it was a to-be-on-this-program comedy bang bang. Exactly, and then she also said- Even though we were not hosting this competition.

What? Unrelated. I was the willing and happy recipient of your win, but we... You weren't aware of the competition. We were not aware of the competition. I think this may have been something that you're... That is fishy. That is definitely fishy.

Fishy on my end or fishy on your mother's end? I mean, it's sort of fishy on my mom's end, but I do trust that she wants me around her and that she loves me very much. Because you keep winning these... You keep going back to Sydney, Australia, then you keep winning competitions to come out here. Yeah. And I did, she, I didn't, she went to high school with Judd Appetow. Ah, she did. Which high school was this?

Beverly Hills High. She went to Beverly Hills High? Yeah. Really? What was she doing out here? Studying. Oh, of course. That's what you go to school for. Stupid question. I'm so sorry. It's a very prestigious high school. So that's how she knew Judd, and I guess she'd been talking about me a lot to him. And then I did, I colored something in and she was like, this is crazy,

but that is a competition. A competition winner. So on the show, love. Wow. Congrats. So I wondered how you got hooked up in that show because I've seen her, you know, Paul, you're the co-creator of the show. Yes. Yeah, you should know about this. Yeah. Well, I had received some of the dots you had connected and I had seen.

But you're a professional entertainer. You're someone who. A pro-ent? A pro-ent. Yeah. You're a pront. I guess I'm a pront. I watch that show and I say,

out of anyone who's on that show, the person who's the most pro is Paul Rust. Thank you. Hey! And so... Whoa! I mean, that's not a slam to you, but you are what we call... A natural. Sure.

Unranche. You're all natural. Is that what you were saying? I'm all natural. Me too. Okay, you're all, yeah, you're all natural as well. But what I'm trying to say is you are a, you're a novice at this. A savant, yeah.

Navant. Can we agree on that? Dave Navant. Is that a James Addiction reference? He's my favorite guitarist. But you know, in contrast, you serve in sharp contrast to the professional actors who appear on the show. Because I'm so good?

Why? You wouldn't know it. I mean, on set. Could you unpack this for not good? Why? You wouldn't know it. I mean, on set. Could you unpack this for me? On set, you wouldn't know it. I mean, I think there's times, you know, where they'll call cut and Claudia.

That's usually what happens. That's my least favorite time of the day. After they call cut. I like it when they call action. And then it's just play time. Yes, that's when we play. We often say that. We say, it's so weird we only feel alive between action and cut.

Exactly. Couldn't we live between action and cut all the time? Let us all live our lives as if it were between action and cut, every minute of every day. Every second is between action and cut. We love it! So. Yeah, I love it too.

Yeah, so, but you're saying that you wouldn't know it on set? Because anytime they call cut... Initially when Claudia, I think you would admit to this, they'd call cut and you'd say, does that mean it's done now? Do I need a haircut? How often was the answer yes? Every month or so?

Every few weeks they would cut my hair. So I was like, oh, so maybe it's like a cumulative effect, and then you have to would cut my hair. So I was like, oh. So maybe it's like a cumulative effect and then you have to say cut 90 times. For every hair that needs cutting. And then I get a haircut. So when they say cut, I would sort of just try to, I'd sit down somewhere.

I would put a smock on myself and I would wait. And then they would be like, can you come back instead? And you always carried those scissors. Yeah, I did always have a lovely pair of scissors that my mom gave me. You're like a regular Edwina scissor hands over here. I am, thank you so much. Not a compliment.

Joni Depp. Thank you, much better. Played by Joni Depp. Much better, much better. Joni Hair Depp, because of the, I don't know where we're going with this. But. Well, um. Well, he cuts other people's hair in that movie

and I want people to cut my hair. Don't you think that it's assumed he cuts his own hair, though? It doesn't look like it, it's a real mop. But that's the point, because if I were to cut my own hair, I think it would be all shaggy and different sizes. Don't you think it's implied that he cuts his own hair but that's in between the scenes? It's like you know how when you're watching a movie you

don't see like say you're watching what was that No Strings Attached, Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman? Yeah. You don't see every time they take a shit like that that movie is over the course of months I think. You skip some of them. You see sometimes them taking shit. I mean if you could ever catch, you talk about spot the difference. Yes. In every movie, every actor takes a shit in a scene. If you can catch it, it's a very special moment. You have to be sharp.

But so isn't it just naturally implied in that movie that he is cutting his hair in between the scenes? I, well, I didn't know. Maybe his dad, that vampire, was cutting it. Wait, his dad was a vampire? Yes. Isn't his dad like Bela Lugosi or something? Vincent. Yeah, Vincent Price. Price.

Sure. I think his dad would cut it. I assumed he was cutting Edward's hair, Vincent Price. Vincent Price was? Was it reciprocal? You mean simultaneously at the same time they were cutting Edward's hair, Vincent Price. Vincent Price was? Was it reciprocal? You mean simultaneously at the same time they were cutting Edward's hair? Yes. And then they moved down to the pubes?

Well, if they had made a sequel. I don't know that he had genitals, because isn't his body just like the leather bodysuit? Oh, so you think that that was his skin? Yeah, because isn't he an enchanted doll? He might have been. I mean, that's another thing that was probably heavily, heavily implied. He's definitely a cookie, remember? A cookie, is that what you said?

Vincent Price is like making cookies and he looks at one and he cries cause he wishes it was real. He wishes, isn't that a weird scene? I don't think I've ever cried at a cookie wishing it was real. I've cried at a cookie saying, give me one. And then mommy of course.

Mommy puts three in my mouth. Paul does eat a lot of cookies on set. Does he really? In between action and cut or? Yeah, I'm a real, what do you guys call me? A cookie creature. He's a cookie creature and he also wrote a lot of scenes into the upcoming season where he is eating cookies. That's very interesting I mean right what you know?

Every the first line in every script would always be chips ahoy. And someone would then offer your character chips ahoy. Yes. Would you then cut those out of the scenes because I've watched the show and I haven't been seeing a lot of scenes start with that. You'll catch the tail end of them a lot of times. With someone going, oi? Yeah, you'll just hear oi and then. Which would work out for you, of course.

That works for me, because I'm Australian and my character is Australian and we say oi to get someone's attention, oi. Does your character in Love, did she also win a contest? Did you write that into the character, Paul? Paul? You wrote it in. Yeah, I would often improvise that. Remember, she brought a...

Well, you don't bring a typewriter sometimes, do you? Yeah, I do. It's so heavy. It's so heavy. Those typewriters these days, they're very heavy. They're like as heavy as you, I think. I weigh 105 pounds. Usually typewriters these days are like 110, 115 pounds.

I shouldn't have to carry in no you should not be forced to carry something as heavy as yourself I think so there should be a law there should be a law I agree I'm standing up I agree but the thing is Paul wasn't writing it into any scene to me so I had to stop bringing the typewriter to say oh that's that's too bad Paul why wouldn't you I mean a woman brings a typewriter to set, you think that you would naturally include that into the scenes? We tried, but a lot of times the typewriter had nothing to do with Claudia,

it would just jostle on camera and start vibrating and humming, and we couldn't fix it. Wait, was this a fax machine? Let me think. I had a keypadpad and I would dial into the keypad and somebody would say... Can I do an impression of it? Sure. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E That's a fax machine. That's a fax machine, yeah. Oh. Oh. So, can we cut this out? I'm just having so much fun. Definitely, definitely, I promise you, I will definitely cut this part out. But I definitely was writing scenes on the fax machine.

Right. It was. Yeah. Were you just sending pages of the script to someone? Yeah, I don't know who was getting them. Do you know what? Some very lucky boy. Might have been my mom,

because she does have a fax machine. Oh, okay. That is the only phone number I know. Right. Okay, two a fax machine. Oh, okay. And I used her phone number, I know. Right. Okay, to her fax machine. Oh, and when I met your mom, she was holding that fax machine. How I met your mother.

That makes sense. Well, do you remember that show? No, I don't. Tell me. I don't remember it either. Isn't that weird how we all used to watch that show. I don't remember it either. It's like the Berenstein, Bearstein, Bears kind of thing

where I feel like we're in an alternate universe because everyone used to watch that show and used to remember it either. It's like the Berenstein, Bearstein, Bears kind of thing where I feel like we're in an alternate universe because everyone used to watch that show and used to remember it, but no one remembers it anymore. Yeah. And a lot of times people will miss say the title. Yeah. They'll go.

How did you meet my mother? Yeah. And it's like, you don't even realize you're saying it wrong. Did you meet my mother? Yeah, and it's like, you don't even realize you're saying it wrong. Did you meet my mother? Can I ask about Love? It comes out this Friday, third season, third and final season, and you were just like, you know what, I'm tired of doing TV shows. 30 and I'm out.

Bye. Bye bye. It's more than 30. How many is it? 34. 34? Wait, how many is it? 34. 34? Wait, how many per season? What was going on?

You had a 10. 11 and a half episodes per season. We were originally, Claudia and I were banging around this idea for a long time and trying to get people on board. We were going to try to do same amount of scenes and time, but just split them up into 120 episodes. Yeah, I like that. Don't you like that?

I like that. Like 45 second episodes. Yeah, I like that. Don't you like that? I like that. 45 second episodes. I like that a lot. And when you say like half episodes, I would like it if I was watching a show and just in the middle of a scene, it just went to black. Not even credits.

It was just like, no, no, no, we didn't finish. Yeah, we couldn't be finished. You've heard of, can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? What if it was the opposite of that?

Can I start? I can't finish. Exactly. I'm gonna let you finish. No, it doesn the opposite of that? Can I start? I can't finish. Exactly. I'ma let you finish? I'm not gonna let you finish. No, it doesn't make sense. It doesn't even make sense. Of course not.

So, but three seasons, how many episodes this season? Did we go with the idea of doing 120? Cause I think maybe... I think we left that up to Hulu. I think your show should have been, you know that show 60 minutes and then you got that show 120 Minutes? Right, both on Sundays. It's so informational.

Don't you think most shows should be like that? You know, just tell you how many minutes it's gonna be? I would, like, in all movies. You know what I mean? Like, I saw Black Panther recently. I wish it had been called 125 Minutes. Right. You know what you're signing up for. You know, I'll see your 125 minutes and add. I think they should have the time on on screen rolling down. Yes, a countdown. I like that. That would make every movie much more exciting.

They should have two countdowns, one in the left hand bottom corner, one in the right hand bottom corner, and the left hand one is for the scenes. How much longer each scene is going to be. Actually, every edit. I think it should be every edit. Better. So even in scenes, if it goes to a close-up, you know. So it doesn't catch you off guard.

I get too jarred. Suddenly it's like close-up on someone's face. I'm like, ah! Yeah, because you feel like you've just loomed in very close. I get too jarred. Suddenly it's like a close up on someone's face. I'm like, ah! Yeah, because you feel like you've just loomed in very close to that. Yeah, I'm like, what, did I just get up out of my seat and run towards the screen?

Yeah, why am I above that person's head right now? I was watching a movie and it cut to a close up of a mug of coffee, and I leapt back, convinced I had been dunked. That you were a donut that had been dunked The you that you were a donut that I didn't dump I ran out I grabbed a towel I started drying myself off. Where did you get the towel? Well, I was on the beach. Okay. This is a beach time movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I grabbed a guy's towel anyway Hey

Do you kick sand in your face? He was cold and he takes in my face to stay warm. Yeah, just getting the blood moving. Exercise will keep you warm. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably what it was. Exercise will keep you warm.

That's, um, you wrote that was what Claudia wrote on my yearbook on Rep Day. Oh, wait, you guys gave out yearbooks at the end of the show? Just me and Paul. Oh, okay. And it was just two, both of you? We edited it together. Gillian was upset that we she didn't get one. Yeah. But we had it, Paul and I had mutually agreed we would be giving it to the yearbooks because I've never had a yearbooks, we don't do that in Australia. Oh really? I didn't know that. No no no and I think that's

probably why Australian people come across differently to Americans. Because we can sense about you like, oh, this person didn't celebrate the demarcation of their high school experiences and by creating some sort of bound together booklet. Exactly, we didn't get a funny quote. Did you guys give each other funny quotes and vote each other like most whatever? Yeah. What do we got?

Well, I said best co-editor of a yearbook. Aww, that's so sweet. Cause we got, you know, we didn't do anything digitally. We just, we used old. No ones and zeros here. No. Printmaking. We used a typewriter, a fax machine, and a stamp.

Well that's all that needs to be said about this show, right? I mean, we've talked about it endlessly for the past couple of years. By the way, where is Gillian? Gillian's doing a play on Broadway. She couldn't make it. She would have loved to, but she couldn't make it. Yeah, I bet. Where's the video message that you, if she would have loved to have made it that she

recorded and gave to you to play on the show? She was toying with that idea and I said, well, it's a podcast, so a video message doesn't make much sense. Well, we could have heard the audio on it. That's true. Why don't they call them audio video messages? You know what I mean? Yeah, that infuriates me.

Yeah, because you don't know to turn up the volume. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, Claudia. Are you getting heated? I'm getting heated. Are you getting cheesed? I'm getting cheesed. Is it time? This cheese is melting because it's heating up.

Is it time for our favorite segment on this show? That's right. Is it time for... Start the clock! Start the clock. Good afternoon. At the no. Oh man, it's time for some new no-nos.

New no-nos. Oh boy, if you've never heard these before, this is where Paul gets some things off his ample chest. Yeah, I get a little steamed about stuff, and people like to hear it get off my chest, and you know this, the new no-nos. New no-no. Lunch time.

Oh, Drago! You know that annoying coworker of yours goes into the break room, decides to cook something up and it stinks real bad? I hate this guy. I hate- You know what? I got a deal for you. No, no, no. If you cook something stinky where I work, I'm gonna cook something stinky where I live.

Just sitting in my house, eating eggs, and there's nothing you can do about it. Oh, and the worst part, you don't even know it's happening. No, no, no, I eat stink! Yeah! No, no, no. Have you ever had people go, you wanna look at a picture of my kid? Oh, man, I, no. Have you ever had people go, you want to look at a picture of my kid? Oh man, I hate that.

I've done that, yeah. Yeah, you want to look at, oh, okay, yeah. I'll look at a picture of your kid if you look at a picture of me dressed as your kid. And guess what, I already got it. Ready and loaded! How'd you get the kids clothes? Shopping! I assume they're grown person size reproductions of the clothes? Not the actual clothes?

No. The same size. I twist, I cram, I fit. No, no, no. I twist, I cram, I fit. Yeah. Okay, look out. No, no, no. You know these people who slurp their food? Oh.

So annoyed. Okay, you like slurping? Slurp everything. What? You gotta slurp chicken. You gotta slurp turkey. You gotta slurp ham. You gotta... No, no, no! Throat clearers! They're worse than the slurpers! Okay, how about this, how about this? Every time you clear your throat, I pee in my pants a little bit. You're annoying.

Dribble dribble. Yeah, I'm just peeing my pants. And guess what? It's uncomfortable for me. Not you! No, no, no. You made me pee my pants tonight! Yes! Anymore my good bitch?

I don't know, I don't think the PC thought police will let me. No, come on, we're gonna let you! Restart that clock! Restart that clock! Start the clock! Don't spoil anything! Don't spoil anything! That's what people say all the time. La la la, plucking my ears. Okay, well I'm sorry, I'm going to spoil everything for you people.

In the Sixth Sense, Bruce Willis is in it. Whoa! Go back, read the Sixth Sense, and give it a watch. Cause Bruce Willis is in it! No, no, no, Bruce Willis is an actor and he plays a character in the Sixth Sense. He takes a shit in it too. If you see it, if you can catch it. In the middle of the movie.

Throughout the movie. Hahaha. No, no, no, my bad. My bad. Oh, I'm so sick of this expression. My bad, my bad. Everyone uses it constantly. No, no, no, my bad. It's now my bat.

Huh? And is it a baseball bat? Is it a vampire bat? I'm not gonna tell ya. You'll have to find out when you say it and the person hands it to ya. No no no, my bat! And then they give you a bat. So do we have to carry around bats to give to people when they say it? Check your lockers after the show, guys.

Whoa! Full of bats. Any more? Express lanes. Oh, turn up that clock. Oh, my god. You go to the grocery store, what do they say? 10 items or less.

12 items or less. 10, 10, 12, 8, 8. 15 sometimes. OK, so if it's up to 15, let me get this straight. OK, let me do the math. Does that mean I can bring in 5? Yes. Does that mean I can bring in 9?

Well, you could probably just breeze right through the line. Could I just bring in 1? Yes. Are these real questions? Okay, deal. I'll bring in less than 15. Great, that seems like a lot. You can also bring in 15 because it's 15 or less. Oh, but I can't bring in 16? No. Sure. You probably could bring in 16. I don't think they'd notice. I feel like

this is less of a new no-no when you asking us how these live talks. How do these work? Oh, okay. Low talkers, close talkers, high talkers. You've never seen Seinfeld? No, no, no, watch Seinfeld. Double dippers. Yes. Spongebob-worthy. Social media. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Cast in a wide net. I've had it up to here. I think he's moved on. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, snore, snore, snore. Oh, what's that app? That sounds good. Snore, snore, snore. Snore, snore, snore.

Snore, snore, snore. There's four. You got to write them, even though you only say three. Whoa, I love that. I'm downloading that now. What? What's with social media? No, I don't want to look at a picture of your sandwich.

Okay? Maybe, you know what? You want me to eat this sandwich? Is that why you're showing it to me? Then I'll pretend to eat it. Every time I look at one of your sandwiches, I'll put down my phone and I'll pants him I'm holding the sandwich and spend 20 minutes at least eating it.

Is that what you want? So you, what? Is that, are you done? Was that the end? The music faded out. Fellas, put the toilet seat down. Ha ha ha! Yes, yes! Yes! Fellas, put the toilet seat down. Yes!

I agree! I agree. Thank you, thank you. Oh, sorry, I had to get that off my... I had a real bee in my bonnet. Good stuff. Really grinding my gears there. Oh my gosh.

I'm allergic to bees. So I'd die if there was a bee in my bonnet. Well, you gotta stop wearing that bonnet. I know, but it suits me. I feel like people when say I'm allergic to bees, it's like, yeah, we all don't like bees. They sting us. None of us like bees. We get it. You don't like bees. Okay, yeah, we don't like bees either. Have you seen My Girl?

No, I haven't. That's so weird that you haven't seen that movie. Why? But he dies from... Oh sure, I'm just saying like, it's like saying I don't like being hit by a car. Yeah, none of us do. Some of us die, some of us don't. I guess you're right.

You're not special. That should be a new no-no. Hey, wait a minute! Start the clock! Oh god! We can't, we can't, we paid for one use. Oh, okay. Bill Maher told us we can use it one time.

Oh, okay. Wait, Bill Maher's us we can use it one time. Oh, okay. Wait, Bill Maher? That's his song? Well, yes. It's based on his... He does this thing called New Rules. Oh, no.

And so we have to ask for his... But Bill's super cool about it. Bill's great about it, yeah. He's so cool. Such a supportive person. He's granted us the license each time. On New Year's Eve, he does a show in Hawaii, Claudia and I always go and we just hang out with Bill. Yeah, we're close with Bill.

Oh, I didn't know that. It's just a chance to get dressed up and just relax. Go hulu dancing. We hulu, we hulu all night long. Well guys, this is exciting. It's exciting to be here in the room while you do that. We need to, we're coming up onto a break. Yeah, but love. We're on a break. We're going on a break. We were onto a break. Yeah, but love.

We're on a break. We're going on a break. We were on a break! We're getting on a break! Yes, watch Seinfeld! Watch Friends too, Claudia and I, for real, been watching Friends a lot lately. Oh really?

Yeah, yeah. There you go, Ross heads. I'd only maybe seen three episodes fully. Which three? The one with the first, the one with the second, and the one with the turd. Oh, yeah, where they take a shit during that. Yeah, all six of them.

Phoebe took a shit in every single episode. Yeah, and that's why people love her. Yeah, they love her. She's funny, she's just funny. Anytime she enters frame, she sort of waves the air a little bit. She does, yeah. Oh, wow.

Well, and I don't know. Did you guys have those TVs that would emit the smells? Sure. Smell-O-Vision. Any smell that the performer would make, it would emit those smells. Yeah. So that was the way that you could find out. So anytime Phoebe was on, I'd run out of the room.

Oh, yeah. That's a shame, because she's very funny. I would laugh I'd run out of the room. Oh yeah. That's a shame, because she's very funny. I would laugh as I ran out of the room. I would hold my nose and then laugh and go, oh no, I'd laugh so hard I'm not holding my nose anymore. That could be very dangerous. It's just the Phoebe conundrum. Gotta be careful.

Who's your favorite, Phoebe? Ross. Ross. Yeah, you guys love Ross. We were on a break! We were on a break! We were on a break already! Speaking of a break! We were on a break already! Speaking of breaks though, the reason this came up, yes.

I love my friends! Yes, all of them, five of them! I love all my friends! George, Elaine, Ross, Carlton! He names himself! Alright, speaking of breaks, we need to go to one. When we come back, this is- And the Modpuppies!

This is exciting. We have a couple of musicians slash scientists. I love music! And science? I hate science. Oh, okay. Well, you are going to be just some... What do they call that?

Net some zero? Yeah. Yeah, net some zero! Yeah! I love science, hate music. Okay. This is going to be a neutral situation. So you're gonna be-

A neutral situation. You're gonna be saying yay during part of this while you're saying boo and then vice versa. Well, this is exciting. We'll be talking to them. Bashford and Franklin coming up after this break. When we come back, we'll have more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Bum-ba-da, Claudio Doherty, contest winner and

raconteur. Hello! And a person from another country. Foreigner. Foreigner, yes, that's how I, foreigner Claudio Doherty. Yes, thank you, hello. Did you like that band Foreigner? Did you get them down there? Love them with their songs, more than a feeling, journey. In serious question, when you're in Australia, do you exclusively listen to Australian music? You know, Men at Work, Mental as Anything?

Yes. That is exclusively what I listen to, but I have to, obviously, because my dad's in Mental as Anything. He's what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. Legally, it's my job to listen in Mental as Anything. He's what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. So that is legally, it's my job to listen to Mental as Anything only.

Only? Really? Yeah. So it's actually the only music I know. Really? So every Mental as Anything song, you... I know really well. I mean, I mainly know the choruses.

Okay, so like, If You Leave Me, Can I Come To... We Could Always Stay, I know that one. Okay. Yeah. Good, good. Yeah, that one. stay, I know that one. Okay. Yeah. Good, good. Yeah, that one. Wow, how was that having a- Live it up. How was that having a musician as a father?

It was incredible. Yeah, I bet. Because, but it is, that's why I love music. Yes. For the next guests. You've grown up around it, yeah, for the next guests. Yeah, I got to just, it's in my blood. He's probably the only parent who comes into the bedroom

and goes, turn that music up. Turn that music up, it's my music. I love it, I wanna hear it. I love it, you're playing my song. We just jam in the kitchen most nights. It was really fun. You playing pots and pans. Pots and pans, he even playing the broccoli.

It was really good. The broccoli. Yeah, that's what we had for dinner. Yeah, what about chopping broccoli, right? Oh yeah, have you seen that before? No. That's why I bring it up. I want to know about it.

Please describe it. I'll tell you when you're older. It's a little blue. It's a little blue. Well, speaking of blue, we need to get to our next guest who I guess they have nothing to do with blue now that I think of it, so that's a terrible segue. But they are musicians and also geologists. Wow, what an exciting combination.

Please welcome Bashford and Franklin. How you doing? Oh, Scott, thank you for having us. Oh, you're quite welcome. It's my pleasure to have entertainers of any stripe here on the show. So, and you fit into that perfectly because you are musicians.

But I think what's also interesting about you is you're also geologist. So it's my pleasure to have you on and thank you for appearing. Thank you so much for having us, Scott. We're so happy to be here. Are you happy to be here? I am happy to be here, Bashford. I'm happy to be here too. Okay, so you're Bashford. I'm Bashford. And you're Franklin.

I'm Franklin. We are a married couple. Oh, you're a married couple? Yes. Oh, okay, that wasn't in your bio. It should read musicians slash married couple. We want to be known under our own merits. Sure. Oh, I see.

Because you think people would judge you differently if they knew you were married? Absolutely. Why did you say it right off the bat then? This patriarchal society always gives the male more credit in the workplace, behind the music board. So what you're saying is you think that Franklin wouldn't be given her due because they would assume that you just pulled her up into this business.

But if you don't know you're married, then people will assume... We're equals. You're equals. Great, great. Much like Claudia and Paul over here. Yes, oh my God. Equals. Equals. Equals.

Equals, I see you both. Am I equal to you, Paul? I thought you were my boss. No, you're double me. Yes. Ooh, double me. That's not equal. Like, double you?

Double you. Double you. Yeah, I just got the, it was sent to me in the mail this morning, I found out. Okay, great. You ever see that movie, W? Nah, god damn.

Haven't, can't say that I have. I saw that movie, I loved it. Did you really? I thought Josh Brolin did a great job as George W. Bush. He did, didn't he? He did. Yeah, the spittin' image. He endeared him in my heart because I was quite upset.

You were upset at George W. Bush? Between the years of 2000 and 2008, I was quite upset. The entire eight years you were upset? The entire eight years I was in a tent. He didn't get out of bed. He didn't get out of bed. What did that do to your mental health? My god.

Oh, that made it worse. Oh yeah, well, I know. It was a byproduct of his mental health. Oh, my heavens. But now I'm back. You're out of bed. You're on stage. Oh yeah.

And was it the movie W that got you out of bed? The movie W got me out of bed. Once he became a human to me and endeared himself to me. He's fine. He's fine. He loves baseball. He paints. He loves alcohol.

Oh, he paints. Oh. Do you own any of his paintings now? Yeah, we have a whole room. We have a whole room of George W. Bush paintings. And all painted by Josh Brolin as George W. Bush. Wow, those are even more rare. Mm-hmm. There were only like probably 27 scenes And all painted by Josh Brolin as George W Bush. Wow, those are even more rare.

Because there were only like probably 27 scenes where he was painting in that movie. Yep, and we have 26 or 27 of those. Wow! Who has the 27th? Cut one. I don't know. I'm not exactly sure. Who do you think has the 27th honey?

You got to track that down. I was somebody in, I think I saw somebody in Ghana had it. In Ghana? On Etsy. I was looking on Etsy. Not gonna do it. Not gonna do it. Scott, I love you. That might be George HW Bush. But, so you guys are singers as well as, I assume you said musicians, but you sing?

Sing, yes. We're both singers and songwriters. You sing, you duet on each one of your songs or do you take turns? Do we ever? We duet on each one of your songs, or do you take turns? Do we ever? We duet on each one of our songs, because we only have one song. Oh, honey, oh, let's duet. Oh, yes.

Why don't you start it off for us? Wait a minute, you say you only have one song? We only have one. One. And you're going to do it now? And it's a cover. Oh, I don't know that we're set up for this. Do you need the music?

No, I don't know. Do're set up for the music We have access to the music we can do it. Okay. We can do it. Okay. Oh, Pella All right, go ahead. Yeah, you saw this off, baby Who starts you want me to take your part today? Yeah, okay. Okay. How about I just start at my line when I come in? Okay baby. Not run away, there was no time to play. We built it up and built it up and built it up and now we're solid. Solid as a rock. Oh honey I did the baroque version. You did the baroque version? You said solid as bar rock. Oh, honey, I did the Barack version. You did the Barack version? You said solid as Barack. Barack. Oh, my god.

Let's take it back. OK. OK. I'll start from my part again. OK. So wait, you guys are doing a cover of solid as a rock, but you forgot and it was solid as Barack. OK, so now you need to start over.

Because we have a version. I just want to be on the same page. Yeah, get on that page, Scott, it's page 68. Oh, hey, right before my favorite one. And five, six, seven, eight. There was no time to play. We build it up. And build it up.

And build it up. And now we're solid. Hey. Solid as a rock. Did you say barock again? What? I don't know. What keeps getting into me?

All right. I was looking at your lip. I was reading your lips, much like George HW Bush. Yeah, don't. Solid as George Bush. Did you say George what? We have political differences. I will say that in a huff.

Really? Yes, we do. What are your differences? I like Barack. And I like Michelle. Not that different. So you liked the first lady. You both supported the administration.

And I liked the first man. Right. But the administration. And I liked the first man. Right. But still, you have to like the other one. Did you, you like the other person in the marriage? I have no qualms on penguins. Bo, the dog? Bo. Bo. They had a dog named Bo? They did have Bo. Sasha and Malia?

I liked Sasha. Michelle's brother is the basketball coach at Oregon State University. Good bit of trivia. So you guys feel like you have big political differences? Huge! We did not get along. You know the other day we got into a fight over our political differences. I stayed in bed for weeks.

He wouldn't get out of bed. I said Michelle was fine. I said she was fine. He wouldn't speak to me. He wouldn't look at me. Wouldn't look. Wouldn't look, wouldn't speak. Wouldn't look, wouldn't speak to me. He wouldn't look at me look One look wouldn't speak wouldn't look wouldn't speak. I close my eyes and shut my mouth close his eyes and shut my mouth And but now we're solid Barack right can I ask you guys a question you say your musicians. Yes

We don't say we are we are you. You are musicians. Yes, we are. You only halfway know one song. What? You don't even know who starts it. You can't even get the lyrics right. And it's not your song. You didn't write it. We didn't write it.

And that's why we don't know who starts it. OK, sure. But it's a cover that we use. And we go around the town. And every time we do a dig in in we sing this song at the dig Site that's like a coronation of the dig. Oh, I see. Okay, which brings us to the geologist part of it Yes, so you guys are geologists your scientists. We are We are are you you're married

Geologists as well. We're married. We're geologists and we say we don't tell anybody that we're married on the digs really See in our patriarchal society I don't believe that she will get the credit for being a better digger than I am I am a better digger. He's an okay digger. I'm an okay digger. Okay Well, you guys obviously know what you're talking about because you all just call each other diggers all the time That's my digger. Okay, I wasn't gonna say anything like that. You were thinking it, and yes, that's my digger. Okay, look. Guys, how did you get into the science of geology? Well, I got into it because I was studying communications. Oh. At University of Wisconsin Oshkosh.

And not big gosh. Not big gosh. Just University of Wisconsin Oshkosh. That's a community college. OK. Yes. What's the mascot there? Overalls.

Overalls? Just overalls? Just like a sentient pair of overalls? Overalls, they walk around town, they go to the basketball games, and every time they lose, they unbuckle. Is like the flap of the overalls like the mouth? Yes, and it talks.

Right, okay, good. Go Oshkosh, go Oshkosh. Not Big Osh. Not Big Osh. Right. And something was weird under the ground of my dormitory. And so I began to dig and dig and dig and dig. Tell them what you found, baby.

I found a pot of gold. What? How could you tell them what was weird about it? You know, every time I walked, I'm so glad you asked, Claudia. Every time I walked, I walked over the carpet, and there was always a hump in the carpet. And I was on the ground floor I said why is this hump in my ground floor?

So I I took a box cutter and I cut open the carpet and then I saw that the ground under it had shifted Okay, wait, it was it. Oh, it was concrete underneath concrete. It was broken. Oh, it was broken. Okay. Yeah. Oh interesting the concrete On concrete it was carpet on top of concrete a carpet on top of concrete. A very hard floor. There's probably a carpet pad under that as well. None. No carpet. Just carpet. What?

This is the first I'm hearing of this. This floor was solid. Hey. Solid as barock. That's what this floor is. The carpet's still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot that Bruce Willis was in The Sixth Sense. Ooh, spoiler! Don't spoil things! What a twist. Scott! So...

Don't spoil things, I haven't seen that movie. So how did you dig into the concrete? I took a spoon. Oh. Like prison style. Like Shawshank Redemption style? Like Shawshank Redemption style. Oh.

Uh, did you know that Bruce Willis was in that? No, I didn't. Stop spoiling movies for me. I'm sorry. Is that a normal tool for a digger? In prison? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. So wait, you weren't in prison though. I wasn't in prison, I was in college. They had imprisoned you in this college. I'm sorry. Is that a normal tool for a digger? In prison. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. So wait, you weren't in prison though. I wasn't in prison, I was in college. They had imprisoned you in this college. No, no, no. I could leave and go as I- But they did put you out for breaking the floor of the dormitory.

They put me out of college. But at this point you have a pot of gold. What do you need college for? Exactly, Scott. You caught right on. So was it, had a leprechaun left it there or was it literally in it literally in a pot or was it as much gold as could fit in a pot? It was in a pot, like that you would use to cook oatmeal or some other hot breakfast cereal. Malt oatmeal perhaps. Like a hot pot?

A hot pot. And it was in the pot, had a handle. Not to be mistaken for a crock pot. Mmm. Not to be mistaken for a sock hop. Okay, well I promise I will. Not to be mistaken for a hot block. I, well, I promise I will. Not to be mistaken for a hot block. I will not mistake any of those things for each other. Sometimes the block is hot, isn't it, baby?

So you have this pot full of gold. Did you ever find out whose it was? I didn't, but the pot stayed hot. And when I saw it, I said, The pot is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. So then how did you get into geology, if I may ask, Franklin? You see, I was living below him in the dormitory. What? So this is on the second floor? She lived in the basement.

Oh, OK. OK. So you dug into the floor, but it was really your roof. Yes. And you see, I was bleaching my hair. And I started getting concrete in the dye. I stomped upstairs, I said, what is the big idea? Right, and were you, I have to ask, is this pot of gold, was it your possession?

It was, it was mine. It was mine. It was mine. And this is news to you, but is it you? This is news to me. Spoiler alert! Stop spoiling our love! Twist! I put it in the ceiling. I put it in the ceiling because I thought it would be secure. People always put things in a mattress, in the floor. But no one ever looks up.

But no one ever thinks to look in the ceiling. Yeah, it's like that movie taken, if she had like hid up on the ceiling, she wouldn't have gotten dragged up. Please don't spoil it! Oh, I'm sorry. Liam Neeson is in it though. Like that movie taken, if she had like hid up on the ceiling, she wouldn't have gotten dragged out. Please don't spoil it. Oh, I'm sorry. Liam Deeson is in it though. Also that movie, 54. The boss of Studio 54 hid all of his tax evaded money in the roof.

Mike Myers. Mike Myers. Yes, Claudia. Yes. Come through. Come through. Come through, queen. Yes.

Yes. So. Yeah, I went up there, I said, what's the big idea? I'm trying to dye my hair. And I said, this man, this man is solid. Well, Scott. I beg your pardon, but I just. Scott.

It felt like you were leading us there. Scott. With that dramatic pause. Do you sing, Scott? I've been known to carry a tune. You're carrying it all right. Straight to hell. Hey, you guys only know one song.

But we sing that song. To the skies in heaven. And it's on tune, on key, upon pitch. All right. I said this man looks solid. I said what's the big? At that time I had been lifting a lot of weights. I was on the Oshkosh football team.

Oh, okay, so you were lifting a lot of weights. As many as your own body weight, like Claudia was doing with the fax machine? Ooh, nobody should ever have to do that. No, you're right, I think I've said that before. Thank you. So, you guys got into a fight, but then you said you were solid to that...

I said he was solid. He looked me dead in my eyes and said, What color are you dyeing your hair? I said, blonde. And I said, that color is solid. Solid as a rock. Oh my god. Okay, so you thought he was solid, but that didn't lead you into the song.

It took you... Well, no, it didn't. It didn't. It was just a moment. It took him thinking that your hair color was solid. We looked each other in the eye. You know, from that moment, I haven't spent a day without him since. Really?

Not even one day? Even all those days in bed? All those... She came in and watched me. She sat at the foot of the bed. I sat, I said, I'm not gonna do anything until you do something. I said, well, it's gonna be a while. So how long ago was it that you met?

It was pre-2000. It was 1934. Wow. Oh, you guys are old. I had no idea. We are quite old. We are quite old. I had no idea. You look incredible.

Yes, black doesn't crack. But I tell you what does. What? The floor. Rocks. And the floor. So what have you what does. What? The floor. The rocks. And the floor. So what have you done with this pot of gold? Have you just been holding onto it?

We've been holding onto it. And I've been watching a lot of infomercials, and they've been asking for cash for gold. Oh, yeah. So you've been thinking about it? I'm thinking about getting a little cash. But also, I think it's some sort of conspiracy theory. Don't quote me, but quote me.

I think it's some sort of conspiracy theory that they're asking for all this gold now while the economy is doing some weird stuff. It's weird, it's almost as if they need this precious metal for some sort of reason that doesn't have anything to do with monetary. Yeah, well, you know, what I didn't tell Bashford, it's going to be news to him. Oh, boy. News to Bashford. I made a donation.

Spoiler alert. To the Koch brothers. The Koch brothers. You made a donation to them? Yes. Coca and Cola? Coca and Cola. Yes. Well, you made a donation to the Koch brothers, the right-wing billionaires who fund most of the Republican Party? Yes. And you gave them the gold?

Because it's a twist. It is a twist, but I mean that's not- It's a twist. That's not motivation for someone to do something just because it's a twist. They wouldn't expect to get a donation from people like us, you know? So we donated. Geologists? They, geologists never, never donated to them.

Which is why I wasn't going to do it, honey. Why didn't you go through this with me? Our marriage is supposed to be something, I can't believe this. It's supposed to be something solid. Something solid? Oh no. Are you guys okay? So if you were in college in 19 1974, you're very old now.

Yeah, I mean, you're 100. As far as numbers go, sure, but in spirit. 104, at least. Yeah. I was born in 1917. I'm 101 years old. Wow. I was at University of Wisconsin, Oshkosh.

As were you. Not bagage. I was there as well, yeah. In the basement. I was in the basement. The women had to live in the basement at. As were you. Not bagage. I was there as well. Yeah. In the basement. I was in the basement. With the pot of gold.

The women had to live in the basement at that time. Yes. It was the safe haven. I can't believe you gave away our gold. Not all of it. How much? It's so, and to be, to be frank, it was, because my name is Franklin, uh, it was my gold.

It was my gold to begin with. You could just say to be Franklin. That, I like that, Scott. Thank just say to be Franklin that I like that Scott Thank you to be Franklin as I am I'm Franklin there was six pence of gold in there and now we are six pence and under Richard Does that lead you into any songs yes solid Take a break when we come back we'll have more from Paul Russell, we'll have more from Claudio Daugherty,

more Bashford and Franklin to be Franklin. We'll be back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here with Paul Russell and Claudio Daugherty, stars of the hit Netflix show, Love. Such a hit, it's ending after this season I guess? Yeah, it hit so hard they had to stop. They're like, ow! Just cancel it! We also have, speaking of hits, Basterd and Franklin who sing approximately one

hit, solid as a rock, and you say you do this at any time there's a dig opens? Anytime a dig opens. Anytime we are asked to come to any type of opening for anything, Applebee's, Ruby Tuesdays. They should come to the opening of the final season of Love. I would love that. We would love to.

I'd be there. What do you think, Paul? Yeah, definitely. It's out of state. Okay. Where's it at? We're gonna, we put a bunch of states in a bowl and drew out because we just wanted to be fair.

Oh, it's like a key party. It's a competition. Yeah, yeah. Did you put all 50? All 50. Okay. So even the Hawaii and Alaska, Hawaii where they do the hulu. Yeah, the hulu dance is the most famous dance of Hawaii.

Mm-hmm. We're Kansas. Kansas? Kansas, the pink state. I've heard we're not in Kansas anymore, but I think you guys might be. We might hit there soon. Isn't it funny that Toto were not in Kansas anymore? It's two bands from the 70s. Yeah, Toto, Kansas, like what's next Dorothy? Yeah. What's next? I'm gonna pop my headphones on and listen to the cowardly lion? Scarecrow.

Is this new Nonos? I think it's a new Nono! No, we can't pay for it. Sorry, Bill. When he finds out that we're almost gonna play it, he gives me a shock. Oh, he does really. We are a cover band. I can sing it.

Please sing it. Alright, please, please. Okay, good afternoon. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, You ever fit your belt through one of them? I haven't seen this many loopholes since I looked on the waistband of my pants babe. Oh no. Oh my gosh. So how much actual geology do you guys do? It sounds like you're only interested in singing. Well, as I told you, that's my digger. And I'm his digger. She's my digget. And I love rocks. Some of my favorites are chalk. Speaking of Kansas, rock chalk.

Solid as a rock chalk. Rock chalk. Jayhawk. My favorite rock. Could I? Please. Honey? I'd love to know.

As equals, my favorite rock is the rock. Dwayne the Rock. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Yes, yes, yes. Dug up some information about him. What do you got? He is one fine honey. Okay, well what did you use Google Image search? Well, a scientist never tells her sources. She always usually does, actually. I thought you have to cite the answers. Not my kind of science. Mystery science. Yes, it's that kind. He is one fine honey.

Yeah, you like him, huh? Rather successful as well. That's what I found. I think he's also quite attractive. If the rock were a real rock, you know what kind of rock he'd be? That ass tight. Oh my.

I've been working on my stand down. Honey tell them, no but also honey, tell them how many that ass tights we've found. We have found a few that ass tights. The Rock, Michael B. Jordan is a that ass tight. Chadwick Boseman is a that ass tight. Ryan Reynolds. Hashtag Wakanda forever. Ryan Reynolds is a that ass tight. Chris Pine is a that-ass-tight. Ryan Reynolds. Hashtag Wakanda forever. Ryan Reynolds is a that-ass-tight.

Chris Pine is a that-ass-tight. Pratt? I'm holding my breath. Claudio Adani is a that-ass-tight. Yeah! And Gillian Jacobs is a that-ass-tight. OK, sure, but. Still holding my breath.

Mike Mitchell is a that-ass-tight. I'd say Scott Ackerman. Scott Ackerman is a that-ass tight. I say Scott Ackerman. Scott Ackerman is a dead-ass tight. Every bit of breath is being held. I think Paul's going to pass out. I think the valet downstairs we determined was a dead-ass tight. Yes. He is, yeah.

Who else is on love? Oh, I know now. David Spade. David Spade. Which is someone you guys will be friends with, because he's a geologist as well. Oh! Because of his name.

That would make for a good friendship. Mm-hmm. Well guys, we only have one final feature on the show. No, I'm sorry, we have two more features, but it's time for one of our favorite ones. It's time for a little something to play Would You Rather. We all know how this is played. People send us would you rather scenarios at our Twitter, which is at CBBWYR, comedy bang bang would you rather.

I'll read it aloud. I will then open up the floor for questions. Please don't ask questions before the floor is opened. It's not the time for it at that point. Keep that music up, my dear boy. Ah. Ah. Not that loud. You've done the show before. We play this every week. Why are you so... We do this every single week. We all know how it's played. At a certain point I'll close the floor for questions, there will be no questions after that. We'll then take your orders, tally up the points.

It's that simple. All right, this comes to us from Stellan from Sweden at SGAK asks, would you rather have the love of your life always talk like Rodney Dangerfield whenever he or she is within 100 feet of an inkjet printer, or have an asshole that occasionally sings like Pavarotti? Would you rather have your current partner or the love of your life always talk like Rodney Dangerfield

whenever he or she is within 100 feet of an inkjet printer, or have an asshole that occasionally sings like Pavarotti, I'm opening the floor for questions. So they're both good things? Yes, they are both great wonderful things. Yeah, but you have to decide which of these two wonderful things you would prefer to have. Yes. When your asshole sings like Pavarotti, is it during shitting or farting or is it randomly? You know what, it's definitely during the former of the three things that you said, the shitting one.

I don't know why I'm being so delicate. Well, that's going to be embarrassing for the love of your life. Yes. I mean, they will always know what you're up to, so there will be no mistaking. Wait, it's their asshole? No, it Wait, it's not, it's their asshole? No, it's, well, no, it's your asshole. Oh, it's my asshole? Yeah, yeah, these are two separate things. And they sing like Luciano Pavarotti?

No, they talk like Rodney Dangerfield anytime they're within 100 feet of an ancient printer. I feel like the love of my life is not the kind of nerd who would go near a printer. Really? How often do you think you're around a printer per day? Like two minutes of the day. Like two minutes of the day? You'd be surprised how many printers are out there. A hundred feet. How long, how far is a hundred feet? A hundred feet? That is, uh... In meters?

That's a third of a football field. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm sorry that we didn't do... Do we need to convert this into meters for you? I need to know it in meters. God, I don't even know. 30 meters, roughly. 30, yeah, I guess.

30, really? That's long. 30 meters compared to feet? Yeah, 100 feet. Let's see if I can convert this in my head. You are a scientist. Yeah, you're also a musician, and this in my head. You are a scientist. Yeah, you're also a musician.

And someone told me once that musicians are good at math. Musicians are good at math. I've heard that before. Let's see here. 100 feet. Let's see. I am 6 foot 11. And when I measured myself.

You're so tall for an older gentleman. Because usually an older gentleman is hunched over. I shrank. You should have seen me in 1934. Really? You were even taller than this. 7 foot 5. over. I shrank. You should have seen me in 1934. Really? You were even taller than this. Seven foot five.

Wow. I tell you, he was solid. And you're so tiny. Yes, I'm 4'1". Yeah, I mean you're... But I used to be 3'2". I almost think that you might be the leprechaun and that's why you had this pot of gold. I'm no leprechaun.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm no leprechaun. That is a racial slur. I'm so sorry. Way to go, Scott. I don't know how I'm sorry. I know leprechaun, that is a racial slur. I'm so sorry. Way to go, Scott. I don't know how I'm throwing these around today. That is a racial slur. I feel bad about that.

So go ahead and convert this. I measured myself in Europe once. That sounds fun. It was quite fun. And I was two meters tall. And you're 6'11". 6'11 is two meters. Is it?

Yep. Let's round it up. Okay. To 7 feet. Okay. Let's just say 7 feet is 2 meters. Okay. 7 times 7 is... What's 7? 7 times... We're talking 14. 49. Yeah, 7 times 11 is 77. Sure. So we're talking like 14 meters. 14 meters. Yeah, somewhere in there. So you 7 times? Me... me... 12... me... 14 times. 14 times. 15 to 14 times. Well then the answer is yes. Would you rather, yeah. So the answer is yes to my question? Yeah, it's a solid yes. So would you rather do this or

this, your answer is yes? Yeah. Okay great. Which era of Dangerfield are we talking about? Okay, let's break him down because obviously we have back to school Rodney. Right. Hey, I'm going back to school. Hey, look out, I'm enlisting in classes. And then there's ladybugs. Hey, look at all these ladybugs.

How'd these ladybugs get on this soccer ball? Then we have- Rapping Rodney. Rapping Rodney. Heyappin' Rodney. Hey, I'm Rappin' Rodney and I'm here to say. Rappin' Rodney. Oh, you sang another song. We sang Background on There.

Seriously? Yes. If you Google it, you'll see Bachelet and Franklin Background singers on Rappin' Rodney. Wow, I don't think I will Google that. But, so out of all those eras, which one? Yeah, out of all of them, which era is the Dangerfield? It's Caddyshack 2 era Dangerfield. Hey, why aren't I in this?

I forgot. The Love of Your Life talks like Rodney Dangerfield. Yes, not you. When he's near a printer, or she. Or 15 meters within. Thank you. Here, Scott, I Googled it for you so you could see the picture. Oh, wow.

Oh my god. There you guys are. Yeah. That's us in the studio with Rodney Vanjofil. Arm in arm with Rodney. Yes. You're kind of doing that improv game where, like, he's using your arms as his arms.

Right. Also, I sang, you brought up Caddyshack 2, I sang the titular song. Which song was that? I don't even remember it. I'm not all right. Everybody's worried about me. Right. So it just negates what happened in number one.

Yes. Any other questions here? The floor is wide open. How is the singing? Very loud? Is it belted? Is it head voice? Is it chest voice? It's definite chest voice. It's like you're in an opera house You know how loud you have to be because they don't have microphones How weird would it be if you're watching can deed and they just whip out a handheld microphone? You know, I mean, that would be weird. It would be strange. Yeah. Okay. Yeah Can deed not handheld, okay

Gritstone yeah, I'll say it again Okay! Thank you. Gridstone. That's right. You said it before. I'll say it again. Gridstone. Thank you. Thank you. Can you drown out Pavarotti's singing by turning on the faucet? That's such a good question! In this scenario, you are a

scientist who has invented the loudest faucet that is so loud that it sounds like almost a, like, I don't know if you've ever been to Universal Studios, but there's this part on the tour where a flood comes, a flash flood comes, it's as loud as that. And that's when Jaws comes out. Well, the floor is closed for questions, everyone.

I'm sorry, there was no warning. But I had so many more. Ouch. I had so many more. You gotta get in early and often. My fingers got pinched in there. You were so lackadaisical about that. I had so many more. You got to get in early and often. You were so lackadaisical. I was cut off. You were really. You've been cut off. All right guys, how are we voting? How, Claudia, I'm gonna go for you. You said yes. I said it's a yes. But we never found out. It's a yes from me. Yes. Just a yes. Just okay. So yes from Claudia. Paul, how are you voting?

Scott, I'm gonna have to give all my respect, all my respect to the Rodney D. J. Fieldbite. Ah, yes. Oh. Oh, you gotta give this respect already. I don't get any, so thank you for that. Thank you, Margaret. Thank you for the respect. Not gonna do it Hey, I get no respect you old building and loan All right, Carl, how are you voting? Who? Oh, all right a bashford. How are you?

Careful pulling that curtain back. Scott, all black people do not look alike. My name is not Carl. I beg your pardon. You know a black man named Carl? I know one black man named Carl. Sounds like a real puss. I am going to vote. I'm not going to disagree. I am going to vote because I'm such a big fan of old Claudia over there. I'm going to vote yes. Thank you. Two yeses and one Rodney. Alright. And Franklin. I'm going to vote. I want my asshole to keep singing tunes.

Okay. I want this asshole to pervex its tone. I love a good loud asshole. Okay, so we have two yeses. My brother-in-law. Wait, Leslie has a brother who's an asshole? No. Okay, so we have two yeses.

We have one Rodney Dangerfield, one asshole. Let me tally up the points. The people who got yeses got three points, so that's three points for you, Bashford, and you, Claudia. The Rodney Dangerfield, you got four points, and the asshole vote gets you 126 points, so. It's glory. Franklin, you are the winner. Thank you, glory.

Congratulations, that's how we play. Not a competition! Would you rather... Oh my gosh. You really pulled it out there at the end, even though I know you had so many more questions. I had many more questions, but a woman like me knows how to make do with what she's got. She really pulled it out of her asshole. That's why I am solid.

Solid as Barack! Now you both solid. Solid as Barack. And now you both just have gone into Barack. He's changing his mind about Barack. All right, guys. Well, we only have time. This has been fun. We only have time for one last final feature on the show, and that is a little something called Plugs.

Plugs. It's time to open up the plugs. So tell me everything you've got. plugs. Plug it in, plug it out, plug it in, plug it out, plug it out. Nice, I like that a lot. That was Plug It Up by Noelle LeBlanc. Hey LeBlanc, we were on a break! We were on LeBlanc! That was very good. I enjoyed that. I want to talk to her about a cover. Yes, meaning you guys singing it or them doing it? Plug it in, plug it out, plug it in, plug it in.

Solid as barock. Now you got her doing it. Now you got her doing it. Claudia, come through, Claudia. An additional plug for us. Thank you, Claudia. You're welcome, I'm a big fan. Thank you.

All right, Claudia, what are you plugging here? Love season three. Season three. You in every episode? Or did you... I don't think so. Or were you on a break sometimes? I think sometimes I was on a break. That's what I'd like to plug. I'm in a movie.

It might not come out in America. Oh, really? Which one? What are we talking? It's called The Festival. The Festival? It's a movie. Go to England to watch it in August. Okay. It's not for ages. I'll go to come out in America. Oh really, what are we talking? It's called The Festival. The Festival? It's a movie, go to England to watch it in August. Okay. It's not for ages. I'll go to England to do that. I won a competition to go in it.

Congratulations. Yeah. Wow, your career is really taking off. I've got good luck. Winning so many competitions. It's all luck, isn't it? It really is. It's all luck. It's just luck. It's, I've heard of, you know, perspiration,

and what's the other one? Luck. Right, yeah, yeah. Because they rhyme. Speaking of luck, uh, the show Luck, uh, season three. Luck and Unculling. On Netflix. We're across scene universes.

Yeah, so all the dead horses come into your shop. They pop up, yeah. We used them, uh, obviously we got like a sort of discounted rate. Sure, because they're dead. Yeah, yeah, but they play most of the parts. Yeah, I get a new boyfriend and it's a dead horse. Wow, okay, I guess that's an upgrade. But we actually worked out a deal with HBO, we got a lot of their characters, Dr. Malfi's on for a few episodes this season.

Wow, that's incredible. Tony Entourage. Yeah, Tony E. Entourage. Entourage. Oh, wait, is that what E stood for on Entourage? It stood for Entourage? Entourage, yeah. Oh, that makes sense now.

Because they never say that word on the show. They've never said it. They wink at it with the letter E. Right, of course. And lots of the characters from Crashing are popping up as well. Oh, very cool. Artie?

Yep. Okay. Nice, I like it. All right, and Bashford and Franklin, what are you guys plugging here? We are going to plug our just newly acquired show in Rock Chalk at Kansas to premiere the new season of Love. Oh yeah, that's going gonna be a huge gig. Could I sing with you for that?

I wouldn't have it any other way. That'd be incredible. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna divorce my wife. Oh, I'm open to it. We're gonna be Bashford and O'Darty. I'm open to it. And I'll just be Franklin, the turtle. To be Franklin.

To be Franklin, the turtle. The turtle. Why the turtle? It's a cartoon. Oh, I didn't know that. I wanted kids. Bashford never gave me them. Oh, I'm sorry.

I think you'll give me some. Oh, well, you are in luck. I'll give you as many as you want. You're in luck. I'm going to continue my musical career. I'm going to found my own streaming service, something of the sort. What would it be called? Seesaw.

Okay, so like the female version of CESA? Like in Spanish? Yes, yes. CESA. It's a music streaming service for comedians. In cars, getting coffee. Oh, wow. It's very specific.

So it's just for comedians who are in cars, getting coffee. Female comedians in cars, getting coffee, singing music. Oh, I love it. Yes. That's great. Well, yeah, so we'll look out for that. Anything else you want to plug? I would absolutely love to plug a show by a young Afro-American woman called Great Black

Women and Then There's Me. It will be at the UCB Theater, at UCB Sunset. You're in Los Angeles. In Los Angeles, City of Angels, 9, excuse me, 8 p.m. Don't go at 9. You'll have missed it. Just any day at 8 p.m.? Any day you go.

Or is there a specific day you want them there? No, they can stop by any day. It'll be happening at 8 p.m., seven days a week. No, in fact, it's March 22nd, Thursday, March 22nd. Or is there a specific date you want them there? They can stop by any day. It'll be happening at 8 p.m., seven days a week. No, in fact, it's March 22nd, Thursday, March 22nd. I thought that one was at Franklin. 8 p.m. You know what?

You're right, Scott. It's at Franklin. Thank God for Scott. Oh, it's Franklin. No, wait. I thought the one at Sunset was on a different date. Here, let me explain. And what skin in the game do you have as far as this goes? I just, I am a fan of black comedians, and that's my skin.

What do you think of Red Fox? Don't know him, don't like him. You're right, you said black comedians, not red foxes. Don't know him, don't like him. Red Fox? Wilma! Don't know him, don't like him. Wilma, get no respect!. Red Fox? Wilma! Don't know him, don't like him.

Wilma, get no respect! The old building in Lawn! I have done this plug completely wrong. You have to understand, my husband just divorced me on this podcast. I know, I know, you're in a fragile emotional state. I'm a little flustered. You're a wreck. I'm trying to keep it together.

Try it again. What have you got? Great Black Women, and then there's me. A show at UCB Franklin here in Los Angeles, March 22nd at 8pm. 8pm. 8pm. 8pm. 8pm.

8pm. 8pm. 8pm. 8pm. 8pm. 8. March 22nd at 8 p.m. Yes, that is the correct information. That's the one you want people to go to. That's the one you should go to. Yes. That's prime time. I'll be there. That's prime time. Prime time baby. I want to plug the Comedy Bang Bang show at South by Southwest, coming up. Coming up this weekend, Saturday. Well, you'll certainly keep it weird down there.

I certainly will. No problems there. This Saturday at 6 p.m. over there at Esther's Follies. Come on by, say hello to us only if you have a badge. Don't, by the way, don't, every year for the past 10 years, people write to me and say, hey, can I get in if I don't have a badge? No! Yeah. Alright, let's close up the old plug bag. Whoa, what a bag, it's time to open it.

It's time to open the old bag. It's time to open the bag. It's time to open the bag. It's time to open the bag It's time to open the bag It's time to open the bag It's time to open the bag Open the bag Open the bag Open the bag

Open the bag Open the bag Alright guys, I want to thank you all Claudia, Paul, so good to see you Thank you, what a dream Continue success, Claudia, I want to thank you all. Claudia, Paul, so good to see you. Thank you, what a treat. Continue success. Claudia, I hope you win another contest. I'm entering everyone I can. Yep, you sure are. If you have a puzzle out there, just hand it over to Claudia.

I'll solve it. Win the prize attached to it. Bashford, Franklin, I'm so sorry that you guys, this is the end, but... We'll get back together. You will, really? We've done this before. Oh, this has happened before. He's divorced me plenty of times. We've been together 82 years. Yeah, that's true. We'll get back together.

It's fine. Okay, how much longer do you expect to live? Another 30 or so. You know, heart disease runs rampant in our community. It does? I was just diabetes. All right, well. All right, we'll see you next time.

Thanks, well. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye.