Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Prayer Orgy (Samantha Bee, Drew Tarver, Ryan Gaul)

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

On this Bonus Bang, a very treasured special guest who shall not be named joins Scott to do some vocal exercises, play a game of “False or True?” and to talk about departing "The Daily Show" for her new TBS show "Full Frontal with Samantha Bee." Later, entrepreneurs Craig and Ron Bieber of the very famous Bieber family stop by to workshop their commercial jingles. Originally released as episode 398 on February 1, 2016. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everyone, Scott Ackerman here and welcome to another bonus bang where we are re-releasing great episodes of comedy bang bang out from behind the paywall. And this week's bonus bang is the latest in a series we're calling Mind Your Own Business, where we are featuring the wonderful entrepreneurs and small business owners that have come on this show to launch their products and services over the years. And this episode is a great one. It's called Prayer Orgy. And it features a very special guest, uh, whose name, during the episode, we promised to keep under wraps throughout the episode. So I'm not going to spoil the surprise here, but let's just say she was promoting her new show, full frontal with Samantha B.

So that's a little clue. Also on the show are entrepreneurs Craig and Rob Bieber of the very famous Bieber family, played by Drew Tarver and Ryan Gull. Now, this was originally released 10 years ago on February 1st, 2016, as episode 390. Wow, so early. Almost 400. By the way, we're about to hit the road again for another leg on our 2026 ground beefing tour. We're coming to Denver on September 8th and then Dallas, September 9th, San Antonio, September 10th and Austin, September 11th. Then we have our big homecoming L.A. show September 19th of the Orphium here in L.A.

And then we also have, the last few shows are Huntington, New York on September 18th. Nope, that's wrong. October 6th. Don't go to Huntington, New York on September 18th. You'll be very disappointed. But if you go there on October 6th, you'll love it. And then we have our rescheduled Boston area show at Medford on October 7th. And then we finish in Troy, New York on October 8th.

So those are going to be some fun shows. You can get all of the ticket in for. at CBBworld.com slash tour. Now, if you enjoy this episode and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as other shows like CBB Presents and Scott hasn't seen, The Neighborhood Listen, College Town,

become a subscriber over at CBBWorld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the CBB archives, every live episode we've ever done, ad-free new episodes, even more original shows. Plus, we are releasing all of the live episodes we've been doing the very next day for all of our Maximus subscribers. Follow us along.

on the road. We're going to be back Monday with the new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang. 3,000 scenes under the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen DVD bonus features are excellent. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. That one, that catchphrase, I got to say, is one of the weirder ones we've had. Let's break it down. Three thousand scenes under the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen DVD bonus features are excellent. I'm not sure that one's making a lot of sense, but welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you so much to Paul McCartney knee high for that wonderful catchphrase submission.

That may stick. That may be one that we end up using every single week. That's a good one. Speaking of good ones, we have a good one, aka episode today, as we have a treasured guest. Let me. Treasure. Treasure. Your hands went up to your face like you're like a Japanese schoolgirl or something.

No, I had a little flutter in my heart. Oh, really? Oh, my goodness. Let me explain who I am. First of all, okay, let's, how far should we go back? The Big Bang? Go back. Life began when Adams collided.

Something crawled out of the primordial slime. Primordial ooze is what I call it. You call it a slime. That's really interesting. Is that because you grew up east of the Mississippi? I'm Canadian. Oh, you're Canadian. I grew up north of the border.

Is the Mississippi up there in Canada? Probably. I don't know. Canadians. They don't even know. if the Mississippi is up there. Oh my gosh. We're going to introduce you in a second.

I need to introduce myself. Of course, I am Scott Ackerman. I'm the host with the most words that has ever been said on this show, I guess. I dare you to find someone who's said more words on this show than me. I accept that challenge. Okay, thank you. I was looking at you and pointing at you to do this. So I dare you to do this.

Okay. I am Scott Ackerman. Man, we're so many episodes. We're almost at 400 now. That's going to be exciting. God damn it. God, why are you asking God to damn my show? Because that's what I'm here for.

What if he actually does it? I have some literature for you. Am I supposed to be talking now? Probably not. Yes, of course. Oh, okay. We're going to introduce you in a second so that people can kind of form a, I like to call it a mental picture as to who you are.

Right now you're a primordial blob at this point. They don't know what, you know, vibrations certainly of your voice are coming out. They don't know exactly what it is. The dulcet tones of my voice that's going further and further up my nose. Really? Why is your voice going up your nose? I don't. They say you can pick your friends and you can pick your voice, but you can't have your voice go up in your nose.

You can't have it go up in your nose. It shouldn't go up in your nose, but then it does. Where is your voice primarily reside? It's resonating in the front of my, like, let's do some vocal exercises before we start this. What do you say? Me, ma, moo, me, me, me, me, me. Hi. Hey.

Do you, and this is a serious question. Alligator, alligator, alligator, boop. Alligator. So you do it, see, I say Mississippi, but of course I'm from. Yeah. But do you do, this is a serious question. We'll introduce you in one second. Do you do vocal exercises before you do a show?

Oh my God. Oh, that's such a good idea. I should do that. I've never even thought to do it. Let alone done it. I can understand not doing it, but to never think of doing it. Like I went to theater school and everything. Where did you go to theater school?

Some Canucks school? Some Canadian theater school. Like the Canada. Canada school for actors. Everything that has a title in Canada has like an implicit shrug to it. Doesn't it? Like, sorry. You know, pick something, have a plan B.

Did you have to come up with A, and we'll introduce you in one second. Don't ever. Actually, you know what? Maybe the very last words of the podcast will be your name. Just don't introduce me. Okay, I won't. Yeah. Have you ever, did you have to come up?

with a warm-up or some sort of vocal warm-up when you were in theater school like I did, where I, the first three months of our training was coming up with a warm-up. It seems like a waste of time. You do have to do a lot of stuff. Like you have to throw sounds at each other, which is very, it was so. Throw one at me right now. Let's see what happened. And then what do I do when I received it now?

I did it with like a horrible, with a cringe. Wincing. And then you catch that sound and you send it right back to me. Hey! Hey. Whoa. Whoa. This is pretty good.

I think we could do an hour and a half of this, and it would be really entertaining. My voice was dropped right down into my throat. The reason your voice is going up in your nose, one would presume, is that you're doing 2,000 pounds worth of press. Just a ton of press for this show that I can't even say the title of because I don't want to say your name. Don't ever.

Don't please. Full frontal with fill in the blank. Yep. And this is a show that's premiering, as far as I'm concerned, in my opinion, on February 8th. Your opinion is accurate as far as I know. It's accurate A.F. My best guess is that you could be right. Good, good.

February 8th. February 8th, we're talking Mondays, baby. We're talking the anti-Garfield. Who doesn't want to watch? I know. Who doesn't want to watch a topical comedy on Monday? It's like throw out that lasagna and start watching the show. That's right.

Tell Odie, you have other plans. Correct. You are otherwise engaged. Tell John, what was his name? John something? Oh, I only knew. The owner, John. Yeah, I only knew his first.

I only knew him. I know he has a last name. You were on a first name. You knew John? Well, I'm sure he had a last name and identity. What did you say? You diddlyly? I'm a diddling.

Is that what you said? I said dittling and hoping you would pick up on it. We got to talk about it. This show is on the Turner Broadcasting System. I love that you called it that. I didn't know that that's what those letters stood for. You didn't know until you took the job already? I don't think things through.

And did you think when someone first said that to you, did you think it was Tina Turner? I thought it was like, the best stuff on television. The best stuff. The best stuff. It used to be called Superstation. It used to be a super station. Now it's just a regular station.

If you go to their offices, it still says super station. Really? And do they say welcome to the super station? No. And do they bow? No. Everyone says, we should change that plaque. It hasn't been that for a long time.

I bet they say that a lot in the dentist's office, too. Probably. Speaking of dentists, this show, watching the show, will be more enjoyable than going to one. Is that true? That's my only goal. That's your only promise to the viewer. That's the bar. setting. Have you ever had a root canal? It won't be as bad as that. Quite as bad as that.

No, this is obviously going to be a great show. No, the listener doesn't know who you are, but I can tell them, and maybe they'll hazard a guess at certain points, but you were on a little show called the Dally show. Yes, the Stewart Show with John Daly. The Stewart Show with John Daly. Yes. Terrific. He is. And that was the golfer John Daly. Snarky, snarky person. I don't appreciate that. You were on this show for nigh upon 25 years. 20 to 307. 20 to 37 years. Decades.

So, 370 years. You're immortal. Yes, correct. And you were, what do you call yourselves on that? A cub reporter or what? Were you reporters? By the time I ended my reign of terror. I was the senior, I was like the senior citizen.

Senior citizen. You only did stories on senior citizen issues. I was like they're longer than John, practically. Really? Is that true? Him and me. You came in after John? Yes, I did.

Okay. We all remember when Craig Kilbourne shuffled off to Buffalo. That's right. Oh, yeah. And then did his own show for a little while. A little while, I guess. And then he retired. Yes, I'm sure he's loving it.

Don't you think I would like to retire? Wouldn't you? I think about it from time to time. I think about it. I was on that. I was riding an airplane today. And someone was like in an article I was reading, they were like, growing, you know, waking up every day.

in Hawaii is pretty good. And you're like, oh my God, people live there. People live there. Yeah. There's a population. You just have breakfast there. Is that where you would like to move if you retired? No, not at all.

Where would you live? I would move somewhere with like a more hostile winter. I need seasons. So maybe. Really? So you like the snow. You like the leaves falling. I'm a really complicated person.

Wow. Let's break this down. Maybe I don't know. I don't know where I would. If you could live anywhere in the world. I'm going to pick something like Boulder. It's going to be awful. You're going to pick something, meaning the adjective Boulder?

You're going to pick something a bolder choice? Under a Boulder, wow. Boulder, Colorado. You would like to live in Boulder, Colorado? No, that's false. That can't be possibly true. Okay, tell you what. It was like the only city that I could think of in that moment.

You tell me statements, and I decide if they're true or false. Okay. All right, here we go. Oh, shit. Here we go. I like this game. Okay. Okay, and what should we call this game?

We should call this false or true. It's, that is so catchy. I think that's going to take off. I feel like you could trademark that. Okay. Do we have a theme song for this? I'm playing with these cables on your desk and you're doing weird. Have fun with them.

That's what they're there for. All right, it's time to play false or true. Okay. All right. Okay. Here we go. And you tell me, how do we do? Do I guess after and you tell me the answer?

Do you do five and then you tell me how many I got right? Five. And then I tried to pick the one. Oh, really? I don't know. You can only think, okay. Can I do one? I'll do one and then you do one.

Okay, here we go. Okay. I was a professional car thief. False or true. False or true. Semi-professional. Okay, you amended it. That means it probably is true because you wanted to get it exactly right.

So I'm going to say true. That's a terrible tell. I'm so bad at games. So you were a semi-professional, which means you didn't quite make a living at it. I mostly made it. But my living was small. Or were you part-time? I was in high school.

You don't need to make that much money when you're in high school. Just if you want to throw parties. So this is true. It is actually true. Really? And how many cars did you feel? Yeah, how many cars did you feel? I felt a lot of them haven't stolen that many.

Were you with a traditional like gone in 60 seconds wheel man? It's more like a lookout girl. You were the lookout. And also a tools person. I had like a little slum jam. Did you have these? Oh. And we're talking to the beef jerky slim jim.

Yeah, just a little that I would just gnaw. You were all about craft service for the thieves. I have a jar of peanut butter, and I just have like a bag of some gum. Hawaiian sweet rolls, whatever. Just keep your energy up. This is interesting, though. Why were you stealing cars, obviously for money? It wasn't a good idea.

It wasn't a good life plan. But I did think that I could make like a whole, I did think that that was my life plan. Really? How old were you? I was. You say you were in high school. 15? 15 years old.

Did you steal one to test it out and go, ooh, mommy like. I was like I had a boyfriend who was a thief. Really? What was his full name? Went. I can't, oh my God. Oh my God. Was he like one of those Ocean 11 type of thieves or he's like in a tuxedo and George Clooney-ish?

That's exactly how it went down. Yep. You pictured it perfectly. Nothing else needs to be so bad. Okay. So he would steal things just exclusively cars or? Or anything? Just cars.

Just cars. We would drive them around. And then you would sell them? We would drive them around and then sell them. Okay. And to whom would you sell? I never really went to jail for this or anything. I feel like there might not be a statute.

The statute of limitations is gone. Listen, do you have statutes of limitations in Canada? I don't know that we do, actually. Really? Okay. So if you had a car stolen in the 80s. They could have been me. You could be prosecuted for this.

Probably. Look up this person. I won't say who she is. Don't say who. and prosecute her for this. Yes, correct. What was the best car you ever stole? Well, Volkswagens were very good to steal because they were easy to steal.

Oh, my God. They were easy to steal. It's just so awful. They were not well. Put together. They were not. The part that you would break open was not well put together. Right now you're slamming Volkswagen and giving kids tips on stealing.

I think they probably fixed up there. They have other problems on the go. They're not too worried about that. But at the time. So, and what's the most money you ever make? Brad is loving this conversation. Brad, by the way. First of all, we haven't even said my name.

And you're talking about your criminal past. A crime spree that was committed by me. And it's a spree. Wow. How many do you have to steal in order to qualify as a spree? You have to spend a summer of love on the run with your tuxedo-clad boyfriend. So were you just like stealing cars, then you'd make love and then you would like sell the car? That's a horrible way to describe what that was.

That's a horrible. And like the adrenaline rush of stealing the car would make it hotter for you and you would just be like... Kimmel is going around my neck now. Like I'm making circles. You're about to hang yourself. I know. What is this show? I'm breaking down.

What's the most money you ever made? Can you say that? I don't know, actually, I don't recall. Thousands of dollars? No, I don't think so. You would sell them for parts or for... Yeah, like for... You would just sort of get rid of it.

And was there like some sort of intermediary kind of... I wasn't really a part of that part of the transit. Oh! Oh, really? I would take, I would get the money and then rent a hotel and then throw parties. Rent a hotel. Yes. Which hotel?

That I did. I would go to luxury hotels in Toronto. And I had braces. Like, I totally, my head was shaved on one side. Like, it was, like, really. This is the craziest story anyone has ever told on this show. Yeah, I had, like, my head was, like, it was dressed really preppy and wear pearls. And my head was shaved on one side and, like, long on the other side.

And I had braces. And I would go to luxury hotels with, like, $1,000 in cash and be like, I like to rent the presidential suite. And they'd be like, do you have any idea? And they'd be like, okay, sign here. Because there were no rules. Wow. There were no rules in the A's.

No rules back then. I would love it, by the way, if this was all a false, and you're just making all of this up as you go. It's false. I would love that, too. My gosh, this is crazy. Oh, my God, I would be an incredible person. All right, it's time for me to play.

One day, who will live in Boulder, Colorado. Oh, giving up her life of crime. All right. All right, time for me to play. Here we go. Ready? Yep. I was a semi-professional car thief.

What? False or true? It's true. It is true. In Toronto. In Toronto, I shaved half of my head. I was really preppy. I wore pearls.

Pearls. I see the remnants of you. I see the whole you. I love how you said you did not, when I said thousands of dollars, you said, no. And then you're showing up with a thousand dollars in cash. Like a thousand dollars, not thousands. Okay. So $1,000 is the maximum?

All right, very good. Which is a lot for a 15-year-old. Oh, my gosh. Would you throw the parties for your friends, and they would all come, and there would be liquor there and underage drinking, underage sex? There were lots of strangers. I don't know about this. I don't know about SEX. It wasn't that kind of party.

It wasn't a sex orgy. It wasn't a sex orgy. By the way, is there any other kind of orgy? No sex orgy? I think there are. I think there are. I believe there can be. There can be.

I would love like a mind orgy. An orgy of prayer. Yes, thank you. So gather together at your church this Sunday and just have a real prayer orgy. Prayer orgy. If they started calling it a prayer orgy, I would maybe come to one. I might go to church. Yeah, maybe once.

Come to church on Sunday. We have a prayer orgy. I don't know. It's going to be, that's fine. It's pretty cool. Definitely going to be orgiastic. So. All right, let's talk about it because we have to, by the way, that was false or true.

That was great. Yeah. We got to talk about this show because I'm very excited for it because I was sitting there in a movie theater in New York City, not back in December. And I saw a commercial for this show. And I was like, by Jove, she's done it. What in the world am I seeing? But this is a, it's not a talk show. No, we're not going to talk.

You're never going to talk. You're going to stare in silence at each other. I'm going to stare you down through the screen. And whoever breaks first has to leave crying. That's correct. And then whoever wins gets to be the host. So you may... I could only be the host for...

For one day. Like a minute. Right. A minute or two. I'm very weak. A very weak person. This is full frontal with a person. With a person as yet unnamed.

And Monday is at 1030. Yep. Which I think a 1030 is the optimal time slot. It doesn't. I was giving some consideration to that the other day. Because you're halfway through the news. Is it really? Is it late night?

Well, it's before. It's before. Like, it's late night for me. Does that count? Yeah. I'm usually in bed by then. I'm definitely. So I'm going to have to deviar.

I'm going to sleep for hours by that point. You're going to be in bed by the time you actually tape it as well. So this is all like it's under the covers. Yeah. Pretty much. It's just me. Emma Janers under a blanket and you watch me sleep. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Good. This sounds like a dynamite show. It's dynamite. It's not a talk show, although there will be sounds and oral sounds probably. Yes. The hammers in people's ears will be vibrating from sounds that. From the orals and things like things of that nature.

But it's not a traditional talk show where you're having. No, we're not going to have guests. I think that we would have guests if we ran out of things to say. I'll tell you, I'll tell you this right now. I'll be on the show. Will you? Yes. Okay.

You're going to be the only guests that we ever have. Really? Yep. Every week. I'd like to be on every week if I could. Okay. You just pop your head up. First class fair to New York. Wait a second.

Hold the phone. We are on TBS, which is the best, shows the best stuff. The best stuff. Yes, we're not doing a traditional talk show, but I am going to do field stuff. Okay. Now, and the time period, the duration of which being a halved hour. Yes. Okay.

Very good. Yes. That's the best way to say that, right? An hour split in twain. That's how I say it. That's cool, right? Equally divvied amongst the other thing that's on TV. Divide it in shorn down the center into two equal halves.

And do you have a desk? Do you know what you're, do you have the set yet? We have it in our minds. Your mind's eye. I keep seeing pictures of it. Okay. It doesn't physically exist until some time next. week. Although I went into somebody else's studio for something. I don't even know what it was.

Weird brag, but go ahead. Yeah, it was, guys, it was in a TV studio last week. Okay, sure, you're in the business. We get it. You know, I just do that sometimes. Just pop into studios. Get a little surprise. And it was a full green screen. Like it had a full, it was a really huge and I had a really tall green screen that came down onto the floor. All right. Let me guess. Tosh.0. No. Wrong. Okay, let me go. Okay. Was it a TBS show? There was one other, there was one other television show in the world. It, I think it was like an entertainment show. Oh, okay.

I wasn't on it. I was honestly just like in. Is the theme song, da da da da da da da da. It's why. It's like that. Similar. Some are. And do you know, they don't have a set?

They don't have a set? They don't even have a set. They just have a green screen and they stand on it and furniture is built around them. Say what now? Really? I was amazed. Do they have green screen furniture? So that it can be any kind of furniture they want?

It can be an antique. Anything they want. They want. It can be the Harry Potter train. It can be a desk or a platform they stand on. It can be the Polar Express train. The whole fucking thing. Any kind of train.

It does not exist. Wow. That's amazing. It was a little bit of magic. So, magical for me. So speak your truth. Tell your tale.

You were in this place and you saw a green screen and you said what? I said, you don't even have to have a set. You can just stand on a green carpet. You can just stand there. On a green carpet. You can imagine your set. I think you may want something behind you.

You can have a green wall carpet and a floor carpet. Wall to wall carpeting. You don't even need to. milled anything anymore. Are you going to have a desk? Can you give us that? No. No desk.

No, I'm just going to... Where are you going to keep your pencils? I'm going to stand there like a fool when have big pockets in my dress. Have you gone through, though? What do you do with your hands yet? Have you tried that out? I kind of know what to do with my hands. I clench them tightly and punch the air.

You also can shake a fist at the audience the entire time. You can bob doll it. You can just like hold a marker really tightly and sweat all over. over it. I might actually, I do Bob Dolan a little bit, as you can see, by my fidgeting hands, playing with your, now that you've said what you do with your hands. You should be the only, you should be the only talk show host that fidgets with her hands continuously.

It's going to be so incredibly distracting. Everything about the show is so interesting, except for her, she keeps doing, where's the church, this is a church and this is the steeple. Now, if I watch the show and I notice you're cut off at the hand level, I'll know that there was an issue. And you'll also, I hope you realize that it's your fault because you put it in your mind. I incepted you. Yeah. So what, uh, uh, do you do it, uh, do you do it, uh, do you do it, that day? You do it that day. In the morning, like first thing in the morning, six a.m. People love all audiences love six in the morning, Tabber Girl comedy tapings. But do it like

Kelly and Michael, what did it, Michael Richards, who does that show? Kelly and Michael Richards. Yeah, it's a really interesting version of the show that used to exist. That's a show, right? Totally. What is that guy's name? Michael. Shannon? No.

I love that show, too. You should really think about... As Austin Powers. Creating TV shows. I really should look into this. You should look into it. No, seriously, what time do you do this? We've got to figure this out.

So I can really put it... So I can really put it in my mind when I'm watching at 1030, I want to know what time of day you actually did. Was I had I just eaten? Did you have like a snack? Was it in between lunch and dinner? It'll be. Are you going to have celebratory dinners after the show?

Oh, my digestion. You know, you can't eat late. Are you going to try to eat before the show or are you going to eat after? You have a light meal before. Light meal before. And then a light meal after just to settle your tummy. Okay. So if you're watching the show.

If you're watching the show. In the middle of the night going like, what am I doing? If you're watching the show and I'm watching the show and I'm, I pray that you do. I pray that you do. I also have, I hope you have a prayer orgy. Yes, I pray orgy that you do. Just know that this person, who shall remain nameless, has eaten a light lunch before she does it.

A light snack. I've had lunch. And we'll be eating a light dinner right after it. I can't think on an empty stomach. Really? I can't think about anything. And do you think there will be a lot of thinking on the show? Not by me.

By others. Describe what happens, though. What happens in the show? Like, right now I'm imagining. you, you're fidgeting. I'm fidgeting. And then no one comes on to... There's just me.

It's just you. There's no set. Just a fucking big green thing. You said you're going to do remotes, you said. It's, we're going to do like a nice big, juicy bunch of headlines at the beginning, like a big or a big story. Where you just read the headlines and then move on. We're just, we're digging it. Yeah.

I just read other people's headlines. Headline. To myself. Hey, hey, you're something. Huh. This is interesting. That's weird. I didn't know this one.

What's going on? Peanut's for $500. That's a little expensive. I don't read the headline. I just muse about it to myself. Yeah, you don't know. The viewers don't get to know what the headline is. Different.

You know. And then I move on. Mm-hmm. Good. And then I will go out into the world and do, I mean, that's all pre-down. So sort of a where in the world is Carmen San Diego. Where in the world? That's exactly what it is.

Great. Yeah. Any other thing you want to talk about in the show? Will it have commercials or will just like Ford sponsor it and you keep popping up forward on the screen or anything like that? I don't have the answer to that question. So you don't know if there are commercials in this? I assume there are.

You got to have commercials. Yes. You got to have commercials because how else are you're going to take sips of water? Exactly. How else will I know how to wipe my hand? I need an opportunity to wipe my hands on someone, an intern or some such thing. Do you ever see a time where you're like, you know what? I know a half hours up, but we're going long.

We're going late, baby. Someone called Ted Turner. Just for me. Guys, we're here all night. And I lock the doors and we sink our periods and no one can leave until we have all ovulated. When you said sink your periods, I thought there was like some special thing a woman did to make their periods go lower in their body. I was like, how have I not heard about this? Oh, sink it.

I like that. Down to your toes or something. Any other thing about the show you want to say? It's good. Because right now I have a good picture of what's happening. A pretty clear picture of what's happening. I think you might like it. I like what's happening, the old TV show from the 70s with Raj and rerun?

It's a lot like that. It's a lot of similar kind of similar in tone and I'm really animated. And it is an animated show. It's right. We should bring that up. I'm fully animated. It's animated that day, too, as quickly as they can. So it's really just one drawing.

Just one drawing and voiceover by me. All I do, all the characters. Great. I love it. And I do, and we have a very special episode and some terrible things happen. Sure, yeah. Gordon Jump comes in and... Yeah, it's pretty... Yeah, you know the reference.

Yeah, I do. I do. Sure. It's tough. All I have to say is Gordon Jump, but everyone knows what I'm talking about. Everyone knows what you're talking about. Yeah. So this is full frontal with fill in the blank, fill in your own blank. Make it up.

February 8th at 10.30. Mm-hmm. And then you're going to keep doing it every week. I am. I'm going to do it for more Mondays. I'm going to do it for many, many subsequent Mondays. And technically, I think every show is a limited series, other than 60 minutes, because that's been going on forever and we'll never end. Yes.

So this is a limited series of how long? To the end of my life. Like 20 years or so. 20, what? I'm sorry, I've been checking out your medical records. Oh, my God. I can't have a drink of water now. All right.

We have to take a break. When we come back, we'll have more me, obviously. And this person also will remain. And we have a couple other people coming in here. So why don't we take a break? we'll have more comedy bang bang after this. Comedy bang, bang, we're back here with my good friend.

Me, I'm here. Of course you're here. And first time on the show, now you're a friend of the show. Am I? Yeah. So thank you so much. They live here now.

That's so nice. You're a friend of my show. Well, I mean, I'm going to be on it every week, so I expect to be. That'll be good. What am I going to do, by the way? You're going to be terrific. I don't care what you do, but it's going to be terrific. Do I need any talent or anything like that?

I just... You don't. And that's okay... That'll serve me well because I actually do not have any. Do you... It's going to be cute. I'm going to have you do a whole bunch of... If you're going to be like my Schneider.

I love it. Do you like that? Yeah, Fred Schneider from the B-52s. Yep. He's... Tan roof. That's perfect. Rusted. Okay.

We have to get to our other guests. That's the way to say that, right? Yeah. We have to get to our other guests. Another. And, oh, this is exciting because they're entrepreneurs. And that's small business people. People excite me, just the idea of America becoming great again.

I just love the idea of that French word. Les entrepreneurs. Les entrepreneurs. What's your favorite French word? Do you speak French fluently because you're from Canada? Oh, my God. I have a theory everyone up there does. It's a bad theory.

It's an incorrect theory. Do you know Alan Thick, by the way? You know what? I do a little bit. He's on the show a lot. Is he? Yeah. Do you want me to say hi to?

Oh my God. Please do. Okay. What's your last interaction with, Good old Al. It was more, he had an interaction with my husband because they were going to maybe do something together. And I was like, you have to do it. Show business related or friend related? It was show business related.

And I was like, please do it. And he was like, I can't. And then. Was it writing a theme song for your show? It is now. You should get out and think to write your theme song. He's very good. He's very good.

He did Diff rent strokes. Yep. You did Facts of Life. Oh, he did the fact. I sang the whole. You take the good, you take the bad. You take the mama. There you have the.

The facts of life. The facts of life. There's a time you got a grown show you're going. There's a girl on skates. A girl on skates. And a Christian one also. And then there's also they go to France. I'm like the Mrs. Garrett of Full Frontal.

Really? So you just pop in every once in a while and scold people? Some wisdom. I just drop some knowledge. and then I love that. I love that. All right, we do have to get to our next, our other guests.

They're entrepreneurs. I don't even know if they have a small business or a large business, but they're entrepreneurs. I like that. And their names are Craig and Ron Bieber. Yo, what up? How's it going, man? How are you?

Good to see you. Thanks for having us in them. We're good. Bieber. Yes. Yes. It's a recognizable name, huh? Yeah.

It is. Yeah. Well, you're from Canada. Yeah. The famous person I'm thinking of is a famous Canadian, Justin Bieber. Yes. Yep. That's our third cousin.

What? Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. That is. That's pretty. He's done all right.

He's done all right. Yeah, he's doing okay. He does all right. He's got some cash. He wears a watch. You know what I mean? He wears a watch? He wears a watch?

Is that we're... Yeah, we don't have watches yet, as you can see. We're working towards watches. They're relatively inexpensive. Depending on the watch you get. I'm sure he has an expensive. If it's over $20, it's a little bit of a trouble for it. Set in the bar.

Way low. A $20 watch. Set it low. That's your catchphrase. Set it low. It's easier to jump over. You know what I'm saying? Although for limbo, it's a terrible thing.

No, we're not playing limbo, though. No, you don't want to set the bar too low on limbo. No. Because you will hurt your legs. I've hurt my legs many times. Really? Yeah, at a beach party. They sit at a bar way too low at a limbo.

Okay. I remember yelling. That bar is too low. Yeah. You remember that. I remember it in my head. Right. But you didn't yell it.

I didn't yell it. You remember yelling it in your head, but you didn't warn me. I wasn't even there. It was just you slayed out in the sand. Well, yeah, I approached it and everybody said, how low can you go? How low can you go? Sure. Typical limbo.

Yeah, and I responded back, very, very low. I go very low. I believe that it's rhetorical. Well, no, anytime anyone's chanting anything at me, I always respond in the same cadence as they do. You got it, man. Patterns. Yeah. Yeah.

What's another example of that? Were you? The other day, we were at our apartment. Yeah. And there was somebody in the hallway, and he said, you guys got to get out of here. There's a fire. That's not a chant. That's like a warning.

You guys got to get out of here. He kept saying it. Oh, he did. You got to, like, screaming at you. You guys got to get out of here. There's a fire. You guys got to get out of here. There's a fire.

And you chanted back, what? And I chanted back, give me 30 minutes. I got to finish bones. Give me 30 minutes. I got to finish bones. They went back and forth for like 20 minutes. Wow. So you're halfway through bones?

Yeah, bones is only, it's a half hour, right? No, no. It's an hour, so you were halfway through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm halfway through it. I think it's a half hour. Well, I have been watching all, I only watched half an hour of it, so I'm always lost at the next episode. Which half do you watch? The first half or the back half?

I just... We go first 15, last 15. Really? What are you doing in the middle? You don't need that info. You don't need that info. So you haven't even started this episode of Bones yet. Mm-mm. So you weren't even going to finish it.

You had to start and finish it. You're going to watch the first 15 and then... Yeah, I was just sitting down to start bones. I was making popcorn. Really? Popcorn. Popcorn. No, I know what it is.

Popped corn. Yeah, no. Have you ever had it before? It's an American snack. Regular corn doesn't taste as good. I almost said your name. Oh, boy. If I say your name, you'll disappear into your own dimension.

Voldemort. Just like Gary Marshall. But what do you eat in Canada other than pop's corn? Oh, what do we eat in? What is it a Canadian snack? You know. You mentioned Slim Jims earlier. Maple things.

Maple things. What about maple popcorn? It's good. Is that even humanly possible? That's top five for me. It is. It gets very, well, you can just make some popcorn and then pour a maple syrup on top of it, and it gets very, very squishy.

You don't even have to dry it. With a hair dryer? What if you, what if you pour the maple syrup on, it gets squishy, you dry it with a hairdier for about 45 minutes. Then you got a snack. I feel like this is what we're talking about. This is the entrepreneurial spirit. This is the idea.

That we're talking about. I don't know what your business is. This is the idea. This is the idea. We're talking about like kind of bad kettle corn. Yeah. Like an inedible kettle corn? Yes.

A wet sack of sweet. It's more of kind of a bad popery too. Yeah. Yeah. It smells terrible. It stinks. It stinks. All right.

Well, tell us what is your business? Well, the whole, I mean, the whole Bieber family is very musical. I mean, first of all, As you can see, we look a whole lot like Bieber. I don't know whether I would co-sign that. I mean, you, are you Craig or wrong, by the way? I'm Craig. You're Craig.

Craig, first of all, you are not even five foot if there is. Oh, no, I'm not even four. You're not even four feet. No, I got the chair up high. Let me go down a little bit. Okay, you're 311. You see, I just disappeared underneath the table. You have a super long torso and tiny legs.

Yeah. You know, your torso is a human being sized. Yes, I have about a three-foot torso, and then my legs are about nine inches long. And your head is not existing. Something went wrong. So you're 3-11. So you, I don't know that I would say that you look like Bieber at all. And you, Ron, you're 3-11 wide.

I mean, you are a very heavy person. Yeah, man, maple popcorn, bro. Lots of it. You've been eating this thing that we invented. Well, yeah, I mean, not just that, but also other types of popcorn. I do love it, though. But, yeah. But other than that, if you take our size out of it.

So put you guys together, you're like a perfect square. Hold on. Let's get together. Hold on. Have you never done this before? No. Oh, my. We are exactly a perfect square.

Those are sharp corners, man. Some right angles right there. Yeah, thanks. Thank you. All right, so I don't know that you look. I mean, I don't like to talk. about how people look or how guests look, but I felt it needed to be said. That's right.

It needed to be described. I mean, you want to paint a picture. Yeah, exactly. Much like I painted for you. Exactly. Can we be honest with you though? Because a lot of people say like... Can I ask you something?

Yeah, man. Please be honest from this point forward. All right. All right. So what do we need to? Do we need to talk about lies we mentioned earlier? Yes, please. Go ahead.

We've never eaten popcorn. We've never touched popcorn. You've never even touched it. I can understand not eating it. We want to like... We don't know what it is. It's just something you read about before you came in here for the first time? We didn't even read about it.

I guessed at what? Wait, you guessed it? You thought that it was a thing? Before we came in here, we were like, let's guess something and have it be something very popular. Off the bat. And we rarely are able to do that. Like the other day, we were going to just guess something. We were like, all right, before we go into this meeting, let's just bring up.

A John train. Yeah. What? A John train. A John train. Yeah. John train. Yeah.

What is that, is that a train that's exclusively bathrooms? We don't know. It's nothing. And guess what? We got kicked out. Yeah. They were like, you're, that doesn't, what's a John train? But that's a good idea.

A train that is just a busily bathroom. So that, so that I want to go to the bathroom, but I also want to get somewhere. It's just a traveling toilet train. So is it one car of the train or is it the whole train? The whole train is all just like. But it could be different cars for like men and women. Yeah, or like, or the quiet car. Because where you can't farting.

You need a quiet car. Oh, yeah. I'm going to need a quiet car. Is there a food car? Sure, yeah, where you have to eat whatever someone left. That's good. You need to load up. That's a really good.

I'm just wondering how people, if they're on one train. I'm just thinking entrepreneurial. Yeah, sure. You guys are entrepreneurs, so that's all the time. So if you got a train full of people and it's a passenger train and they all gets to go. Yeah. They got to go to the bathroom. And then you have another train.

was the John train, and it pulls up beside it. You're going to have to have some type of mission impossible chasing to get from one train to the other to pee or poo. You have to build a second set of train tracks. A link train. Wait, are you saying to pee and poo is two different trains? Yeah, that's... You need an accompanying train to accompany the train that exists. And you have to jump from train to train if you want to do both?

Yeah, and if you have to pee and you're like, I don't got a poop. And then you were like, uh-oh, I got a poop. you have to penguin walk from that P-Train to the Poo train. I don't know. You know what I mean? This is where, to me, your idea has gone off the rails. I mean, not to make a pun. That's what we do.

We talk them out and we weigh the pros and cons, and then we don't think. Anyway, in that room, nobody knew what a John train was. Nobody did. Yeah. But we did know what popcorn was, so you got that one. We got it. This is the first time that's ever happened. It's all about taking risks.

But honestly, we came to the Los Angeles slash Hollywood slash valley area. We're not in the valley. I don't want to give anyone the impression that we're in. the valley. No, no, no, no, but that area, sure, right? And we came here because, you know, the Southland. Yeah. Well, our cousin, Justin Bieber, who you guys all know, is also around here. And a lot of people, a lot of people are like, oh, come on, you're just trying to ride his coattails. You're just using your name to get stuff. You're just taking what he's done, and you're trying to succeed with that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's what they say.

That's what they say. And did you argue with that? No, no, no, no. You guys agree with that. That's true. We agree with that. We definitely agree with that. They have hit the nail on the head with us.

Okay. Okay. What is your business? Can we talk about your business? You've not gotten to it. We almost have to take a break. We want it to be originally. Tell you what, never mind.

We have to take a break. Let's take a break. When we come back, we'll hear about this exciting business. It's very excited. We're excited. All right. We're going to take a break. We'll be back with Craig and Ron Bieber and this person over here to my right.

We're still here. As we come back from Comedy Bang Bang, Bang. From Comedy Bang, Bang. We're back here, and we have my best friend is with me. And we became best friends over the break. We did, actually. Really, we got really close. We were holding.

We buried our souls. We buried our souls. We did a blood thing where you cut your slice yourself open. And we did not close the wounds either. So I'm getting really light-headed. We will coterize those wounds. Ooh, boy. And I'm a hemophiliac as well.

I should not have done this. Shoot, I should not have slashed you. This is bad. And by the way, you just slashed me. We didn't talk about cutting each other or being best friends. You just took out a knife and slashed my arteries. Wow, you are a free spirit. And we also have Craig and Ron Bieber over here.

Yeah, what's up? And they are going to tell us about their business, hopefully before I pass out. Yes, yeah. So basically, as you know, our family, very musical. I know Justin is. I don't know about anybody else. Oh, everybody is very musical. I know the dad who is your uncle?

He's our uncle, yeah. Okay, he had an opinion on Justin's penis with that tweet. Yeah, I mean, we all chimed in on the penis. You guys tweeted about it as well? Oh, yeah. He was just the only one that got picked up in the media, but we all thought his penis was nice. Oh, we all liked his penis. Because it is an atypical Bieber penis.

Like, for the most part, all our penises are really bad. Well, they're not bad. Not small. Just bad? They are big, but bad. Like rotten. Like a... Like a rotten.

Like a tuna can? Yeah, like... Round and flat. Like an open... And smelling. Yeah, they are... Well, his is obviously, as you... He is wide.

His is wide. Very wide. Yeah. But, yeah, they're just bad. Dolphin safe? Like a tuna can? Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Different versions of horrible. You know, like nobody would ever, if you had 10 different categories of penis, they'd be at the bottom of every category. Really, really. Yeah. In the negative 10. Yeah, mine kind of looks like a sausage with no casing. Oh.

That has been nibbled at. Just about to fall apart. By a dog? Yeah. Mine looks like an old-ass dog toy that you're like, that thing has got to go. We got to throw that out. Losing its integrity. Mine looks like a bad cranberry cam.

that somebody burnt halfway and the wick burnout. And it's like, can't even use that candle. Right. And it's red, cranberry. And smells like a cranberry candle as well? Because I was wondering what that scent was. No, it smells like an old dog toy. Oh, okay.

Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'm not sure why we started talking about this because we were about to talk about your business. Yeah, no. Well, we're getting close to it. Oh, good. So everybody is musical in the Bieber family. So we decided

We We decided that we were going to You made a decision We made a decision We said We got to start singing too The problem is we don't We don't really come up with good lyrics

Like Justin does What are some of your lyrics I'd love to hear like one stab at it Oh we did take a stab at Pop songs And we had a song called Hey baby You're crazy

Don't look at me that way Get out of here Not the worst I've heard worse A lot of people said it was like very bad for women. Are the further lyrics just kind of detailing actual like health symptoms of why you think she's crazy? No, the next lyrics are, I hate you. Okay, that's not good.

So we're going to, it goes down a road. Yeah, it goes down a road. Yeah, a lot of our pop songs, they started out, they sounded like typical pop songs, like kind of like girl or hey baby. And then they kind of got more aggressive. as they went on very quickly. Yes. Is this based on your own personal lives?

No, no. I wish. Neither of us have. No, we wish. You wish. No luck, though, there, man. No luck, no luck. Yeah.

So you haven't had, you haven't had relationships? No, not in the typical sense. Meaning actually having a relationship? Never had one. No, okay. You realize you can change lyrics. Just because you wrote them and they exist now. You doesn't mean that you can't go back and do a second revision.

No, I thought all songs were one take. Yeah, one take. And that's what made them magical. Oh, but did you record that song? And that's why you can't change it or you just have it in your head. No, we only perform live. You just can't change the lyrics in your head. Well, we can't memorize new lyrics.

No. No. Once you throw down the lyric, yeah, like landslide, that was. The Flewwood Mac song? Yeah, that was one. I'm pretty sure that was one take. Like in her head. Just off the top of it.

It was a freestyle. Yeah, it was a freestyle. and then you keep it. Yeah. So everything we do. Yeah. So, yeah, get to it. So basically, we decided that we...

Yeah, do it in the most basic terms possible, because right now you've been... We had no success in the pop world, so we entered the commercial jingle world. Jingles! Oh, I love... I can already see you being musical. Yeah. I can see you physicalizing it. Thank you.

We were just talking about Alan Thick doing, I guess, theme songs, which is a type of jingle. because they're short. He's one of our idols. Wow. They say do not worship idols, worship God only above. So that's interesting that you have idols. Yeah, we're sinning. We're pretty pagan.

He's your only one. Fairly pagan. By the way, I meant to ask you about your religious leanings before. That's one of the questions we always ask every person. Yeah, yeah. So basically. Yes. Please make it as basic as possible.

Basic. So we decided to just... Can you do it in five words or under? Five words, what? Explain your job? Yeah. So like the middle round of celebrity, but two more words? Yes.

Okay. Jingle... I would describe you as the middle rounds of celebrity. We are. Yeah, that's true. Thanks, man. Thank you. Thank you so much.

I'll take that. So jingle... Jingle writer. No work yet. Jingle writer, no work yet. Jingle writer, no work yet. Like the other day, I came on with a jingle for gum. Oh, okay.

This is good. So it goes like, chew it, pop it, spit it, gum is the best thing you put in your mouth that you don't swallow. Okay. All right. It works for any gum brand. It does. It's nonspecific, which is good.

We're not specific in all our jingle. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we don't focus on brands. We focus on the messaging. The thing. The thing. Check this. Check this. Hey.

Can I just stop you right here for a second? You can, but I don't know if I can capture that again. You don't have to say hello to the listener at the top of the song. You have to get somebody's attention because they are doing this. When you did that, I perked right off. You did. And this is like this would go in a commercial where a guy is walking down the street. and he gets a crowd's attention.

Okay. Well, this person over here to my right, she's going to have commercials on her show. Hey. Interesting. I can take that note. Yeah. Hey. Interesting.

Hey. Why don't you do that when you're coming back from commercial? Yeah, I will. Hey. Hey. That's smart. Hey. Yeah.

Because people, they went into the kitchen. They are making some toast. They are doing. Yeah, they do make popcorn. Just remember you got it right. Make yourself likable, though. So you can't be. Oh, she can't be like, hey.

You need to be like, hey. Did you just guess that people make popcorn in the kitchen, by the way? Yeah. Did I get it, right? You got it right. Oh, my gosh. This is huge. Two in a row.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Hey, are you hungry? Crackers. Wait, that's it? And that's the end of it. That's simple. Some of the best ad campaigns are simple.

One note, if you're taking notes. I'm not, but you can. I am now. Hold on a second. I, you know, they've got to be longer than three seconds. A commercial is typically in the third. imagery. But you need, you know, with all of these different platforms, sometimes you just need like a little pop.

That's true. Maybe before a YouTube video that you want to watch. I hate when it's like 27 seconds. You want it to be just a little pop. I would love it for just to be. Okay. Are you hungry? Crackers.

And then I watch my video. That's not bad. You're right. Okay. All right. I mean, we can fill 30 seconds for crackers. Okay, let's hear it. Yeah.

All time. Wait, I'm going to get my time. Okay. Here we go. Ready? Okay. Stopwatch. And ready.

And go. Hey, are you hungry? Do you have a thing in your stomach telling your brain that you're hungry? Is there something that you need to do to get rid of that? Well, hey, listen to me, because I got a little solution for you. Come on with me to the warehouse and we'll open a box a what? You said a box of crackers! Oh, sorry.

Eight seconds. No, you need time for the tag. Add some extra haze. Okay, go ahead. Okay. And then go, crackers for every American. Nice. But also, we have to put the address to the warehouse where you have to go.

Well, that was an important part to mention that warehouse and not give an address. That's a long version. Yeah. That's a long version. Because, yeah, for that, for that, for that. Would you guys ever do a jingle for my show? Oh, I would love to hear that. Yeah, we could.

Don't say her name. Absolutely. No, no, no. But the show is full frontal. You might want to work in Mondays, 1030, premieres February 8th. But I don't want to get in the way of your process. Right, right, right.

We could do this one together. Here, let's, hold on, let's talk about it real quick. Okay. You guys aren't saying anything. You're just going, sis, sis. I do love to see the artistic process at work. And I don't know. They're also kissing each other after every.

They're nibbling each other's lips. with tiny rap kisses. Yeah, that's good, that's good, that's good. Okay, all right, break it up, break it up. Sorry, we got something. All right, we got something good. You ready? All right, here we go.

I'm just going to close my eyes. Yeah, picture it. I'm going to open mine. I've been closing mine the entire show. You have, I thought you were asleep. All right, and excuse me, but I'm going to put a little, I might put some sound in the background to give it some little fluff, if you know what I mean. I don't know what you mean?

That's the weirdest sentence I've ever heard. But go ahead. Okay. That's my eyes. For de da da da da da da da da da da da berno. For frontal. For frontal. For frontal.

Forget the back. It's for frontal. For frontal. For frontal. Forget the back. It's for frontal. For frontal. Hey. Frento.

Hey, have you ever wondered what it's like to talk to someone? Have you ever thought, hey, what's going to happen? Hey, what's going to happen if this person talks to someone? Well, come on down to the warehouse and watch the show called Forefrontal. Don't forget to open up a box. Have yourself a cracker. Give the address to the warehouse. 1031 East of Polvedo Boulevard.

It's where we have the show and the crackers. Don't forget, you can choose between regular salt or sour cream. I just feel like this is turning into a cracker commercial. I think it is, but it's making me hungry. Every American. Crazing something salty. That's an idea. It's just an idea.

No, I think that's a really good idea. I think one take and done. That was great. I have one note. I know you're not taking it. Not taking notes. Didn't communicate anything really about. It said full frontal.

It said the title. The title. That is true. I also said what would it be like for a person to talk to another person. Which does in a way. That's the, it answers the question that you. I mean, just out of curiosity, will you be talking to other people on your show? I guess it's a very philosophical approach.

Sounds like kind of nail on the head. Okay, so did you like the beginning when we were like, when we were like, don't worry about the back? I did. This is full-frontal? Because I feel like people are really obsessed with backs and butts and stuff. I've already heard several people being like, is this going to be about the back as well? You know what? I did appreciate that.

Yeah. I really did appreciate that. So, not that. So I think, I think just, yeah. Yeah. Should we invoice you? Can you Venmo them or? Can you do Venmo?

You could give us, give us. We don't do Venmo. No. No. We can, we take cash, we take watches. $20. I've got a $20. What do you think?

What do you think that? I will give you $20. $20. $20? $20. Okay. Watch. No strings.

Here's one string. It's only 20, so you're going to have to share the watch. Yeah. I mean, it's only one watch. I mean, it's $20 watch. Yeah, that's okay. All right, all right. All right.

What's the watch share situation going to be like before you accept it? I'll take days. And I'll take nights. While you're asleep? Yeah, I mean, I'll wear it like, what are we talking about when the sun goes down? Sure, man. All right. So I'm looking pretty good right now because the sun goes down pretty early.

so I'll have the watch on by 6 p.m. But as soon as the sun comes up, I can come into the room and take it out. You mean the room that we're both in? The studio apartment. Yeah. Why are you outside of the room? I stay out at night. Oh, okay.

Well, why wouldn't you want to watch at night then? He stays out at night. Because it's just... I feel like you're a better candidate. If I know what time it is, if I know what time it is, I get to bed. I get in my head. Yeah. You'll be like, I got to get to sleep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's where I stay up in the sun. So you're a night owl. Yeah, and the sun reminds me. Right, why? The sun, like, goes, get home. By the way, I don't want to tell tell us out of school, but we're taping this during the day, so you're normally asleep at this point. Very tired. He's very tired. Yeah, he's wearing his onesie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're Janers. My Janors. Yeah. Uh-huh. Well, this is great. I mean, you made your first $20. Yeah. Do you have it in cash, or? We can talk about that. We can talk about it. Yeah, we can.

Okay. Let's talk about it then. Great. Let's figure it out. Here we go. Let's figure it out. I've got $20. You can get it to us tomorrow too, but we do charge interest.

What's the interest rate on this? 1,000%. Thousand percent. Daily? Daily. Daily. A crude. You know what?

Compounded and accrued. That's a pretty savvy. That's a pretty savvy interest rate. That's like 200 bucks a day. When you know the business like us, you know you have to keep people tight. Okay. I don't know what that means either. But, okay.

I understand. Okay, so are you going to get it to him today? I'm going to get it to him today. Yeah, okay. What's the cutoff for the end of the day? An hour ago. And now? Oh, wow.

So you already owe them 200? Holy Jesus. Sorry, man. We should have been straight with you about that. You should have really, you need to be up front about that stuff. You're going to go into business. But still you're going to pay. In Canadian dollars.

Oh, okay. Oh, that's not worth anything. Like, how many tunis is that? Oh, I love that you know that they're all tunis. So if it's twonies. $200, it's like 100 tunis. Yeah, exactly. Pay them all in tunis and I think you got a deal.

They look like old. I mean, our last name is Beaver, but we grew up in Sacramento. Why aren't you Canadian like her and him? Oh, that's, you've heard of she and him? What about her and him? Yeah, well, no, my uncle, Justin Bieber's dad, moved to Canada when he was three. Oh. So that's our uncle, Jamie.

Yeah. Yeah, he moved. And you grew up in Sacramento, you say? Yeah, we grew up in Sacramento. So Tunis is like dollars, and do you have quarters and dimes? We don't have pennies. You don't have pennies. They're a civilized country.

Yes. Do you call them quarters? We do. We do. Oh. So like dollars that have been quartered. Quartered. Quartered dollars.

Quartered dollars. Right. Quarters of dollars. Right. Great. And do you have people from history on your money? Or people from the future? We have people from history and animals from.

History. Famous animals that led your country? Yes. Beavers. Beavers and beavers? Yep. So there was a beaver early on in Canada that created the tax code. Yeah.

That created our version of the Confederate Constitution. I always thought that. We always thought that. Why didn't you guess it? That's the thing you should have guessed. Oh, man. You'd be three for three at this point. That does stink, man.

Well, guys, congratulations. You got your first sale? That's amazing. Thanks for helping us out, boss. Yeah, thank you. I am your boss, by the way. I should have, full disclosure, I am their employer. No, no, no, I understand.

And you're mentoring them. Of course. When I see young talent. Yeah, you want to harness that. Yeah, I just take a 90% off the top. You know, so I get 18 of these dollars. $18. Yeah, we think it's a pretty good deal.

Yeah. Solid. Or I get one, you know, I get 90% of your watch. Which would you rather? Would you rather? We're not playing would you have. When would you want the watch? I'd want 90% of your watch immediately.

So you'd have to put it into 20 different pieces. Oh, you don't want time with the watch. You want the actual physical. 90% of the actual physical watch. But that's going to make it tight on your wrist. Because we're going to keep two links. Right? That's all you're going to keep is the two links.

Yeah, that's all we like anyway. All right, very good. I got a new song. You got a new song out of it? This has been a win. This is in the W column for me, this whole show. All right. we just have one last thing we have to do on the show.

It's a little something called plugs. Oh, wow, listen right now, Occurman's famous plugs. Comedy, bang, bang, than greatest show in history. This is, of course, a very good song, now that song's okay. The only good songs are hymns.

Was that even a song? Ackerman's famous plugs. I like that. That was Ackerman's Famous Plugs by N-F-L-O-Y-D, or maybe it's N-Floid, like N-Sync? What was that? I see NFL-Oid. NFL?

So the National Football League Oide? Yeah. Okay, so that was by National Football League Oide. All right. So what do we plug in here? I'm going to turn to the person to my right and ask her what she wants to plug. I want to plug my own show, don't I? That's the smart play.

I think that's the, I think you should watch Full Frontal Mondays. I go into low voice on TBS. And this is the voice you're going to be using in the show. Correct. Exclusively. It goes like this. Hey, everyone. Hey, guys.

You got to start with hey. Don't look at my hands. Stop! I'm so frenetic. My eyes are up here. That's exactly the show. That's the show. That's the show.

February 8th is the premiere. And you're going to keep doing them after that. I think so. Uh-huh. You're not going to retire. Not, to my knowledge. You're not going to be a one and done. We'll see how it goes.

I mean, you know. Sure. Sure, sure, yeah. You just slashed me again, by the way. Why did you do that? Hey, do I keep doing this? I'm really getting a lot of it. You're so slashing.

That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you so much. You're welcome. February 8th, full frontal, and every Monday thereafter. Every Monday thereafter. You're not taking any Monday off. Until the day of my death. And do you hope to die on air?

I do. I do. Yeah, I think that's the way to go. I think that's what people. That's what people want. Dick Gregory did that, didn't he? Or Dick Sargent or Dick Francis? Is Dick Francis a horse?

I've been mean to ask someone that. Is Dick Francis a horse? Yes. Okay, good. We finally got the answer to that. And we'll all die on television. Okay, very good. Craig and Ron, what are you plugging here?

We pitched a show recently to a network called C-So. It's going to be out very soon on Apple TV. They did not buy our show. Apple TV? That's what you want to say? Is that what it's on? That's what it's on. It's on the Apple Channel.

No. You probably want to say it's on C-Sysome. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. So it's on C-So, and we pitched the show. They did not buy our show, but I saw this show on the wall of their development room called a billion-dollar properties.

It looks hilarious. Yeah, and that's, when's that coming in? It starts out in March on C-So, which is on Apple TV. I'm heavily promoting Apple TV. That's really what you want to talk about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you had it? I do have it, actually.

It's nice, right? It's nice. Were you doing your Borat impression? Oh, I snuck in my Borat. Wait, do you know what Borat is? Borat. You just guessed you guessed Borat. What is Borat?

That's three of four. You did. Oh, my goodness. Wouldn't it be hilarious if there was a character that said, it's nice? From Kazakhstan. Yeah, from Kazakhstan. That's crazy. That's crazy.

What do I want to plug? So a billion dollar properties, though, starts in March. So you'll have plenty of time to come down from full frontal and be like, who, that's all the entertainment I need. And then a month later or so, you'd be like, I'm interested in another show. I'm ready to be entertained. I just, you know, comedy bang, bang, TV show is going to come up at some point later in the year. So watch then, but I have nothing other than that.

I think I'm in some HBO show that I recorded three years ago that's coming out in February. So animals? Little baby, I think. Yeah, I was a baby. You were tiny then. I was tiny. So I think I'm in that. I just read a press release that it finally is coming out in February, I think, in HBO.

That's cool. Little baby Scott. So you can hear me go, whey, me, I want crackers. Where's the warehouse? Crackers for every America. Let's close up the old plug bag. What do you say? Going to listen to.

some plugs. Gonna listen to some plugs. Going to listen to some plugs. Going to get my ear for out. Going to get my jobs. I'll talk about. Going to listen to some plugs. Talk about my jobs.

Go to some plugs. Going to listen to some plugs. Thank you. That, of course, is the new closing up the plug bags theme, which I mistakenly thought was an opening the plug bags theme. But, guys, this has been such a fun show. I want to thank this person over here, Voldemort. Oh, yes.

Thank you. And good luck with your... Thank you. I'm going to say life, career, loves. Oh, my many... I'm going to go 360 with you. Loves, my lovers. I want to say, you know, I hope the news is interesting.

As they say in China, the old Chinese curse, may you lead an interesting life. I just withered. And I would love for you to come back at some point. I know you're doing this show on Mondays, but I would love for you to take a red eye Monday nights. It's come out and do the show. You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know, that's just one. Yeah, we are probably going to head back to Sacramento forever after this. This was a fun talking orgy, though. Are you guys? It was a talking orgy. This was a talking orgy. Keep the bar low.

Keep the bar low, guys. Yeah. I think we all came. We all did ejaculate during the show. For the listener, just so that everyone knows that. Yeah, you decide when each of us came, and we are going to give you. you a piece of a watch. All right, guys, thanks.

We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye, Samantha B.