Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: The Andy Samberg Special (Andy Samberg, Adam Pally)

Episode Date: March 5, 2026

This Bonus Bang is a show for lovers of Hollywood, pizza, marijuana, and plane breaks. Our guest on this episode is Andy Samberg from "The Lonely Island" and "Saturday Night Live" who gives us the inside scoop on creating a record and working with talents like Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga. There is an unfortunate appearance by Scott’s weed guy Bro, but we make up for it with a great game of Would You Rather and the first Comedy Bang! Bang! semi-prank call. And yes, there are plane breaks. Originally released on June 20, 2011. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everyone, Scott Ackerman here and welcome to another bonus bang where we are re-releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang from behind the paywall. And this week's bonus bang is the first in a new series. We're going to be doing all month called Just the Facts, ma'am. And this is where we're showcasing episodes featuring the Hollywood Facts theme. Yay! We all know it. It's Hollywood Facts and we're going, et cetera, et cetera. You know it just as well as I do. Now this episode is called the Andy Samberg Special. It was released back in the early simpler times of June 20th, 2011 as episode number 109. You all know Andy, Andy Samberg.

He's now in the 12-timers club. He is the originator of Just the Facts, Hollywood Facts, theme song. And also, he is the star of Digman, which is going to be coming to Netflix this month, the first season. So that's the show that he does with our good friend Neil Campbell. So this is episode 109. This was only Andy's second appearance on the show. His first appearance was episode 14. And we also have Adam Pally here as well playing my weed dealer bro. And fun facts about the episode. This features the creation of the Hollywood Facts theme, which will go on to be a recurring joke on the show for years to come. It also features the first ever CBB semi-prank call.

Even I don't remember what that means. But we'll have to listen to the show together to figure it out. Now, if you enjoy this episode and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, as well as other shows like CBB Presents, Scott hasn't seen The Neighborhood Listen and College Town. Become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the CBB archives. Every single live episode we have ever done, add-free new episodes, and even more original shows.

We're going to be back Monday with the new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang. Yes, thank you, Reggie Watts for doing our theme song. Welcome to the show. I am the world famous Scotobot, aka Hot Sosserman, aka Fatskassman. Great show today. We have Andy Sandberg coming up. He's right here looking at me.

But I do want to say we're taping this a little bit in advance of you hearing it. Of course, it's not live, but today we start shooting on the Comedy Bang Bang TV pilot for IFC based on this podcast. So wish us luck. Give us good thoughts while you're listening to this and write to your local congressman and say, hey, what's up? And I'm sure he'll get it. But why don't we get to the show today? That's all we have to talk about at the top. right. All right, let's get to our first guest. He is there, you know, people throw around the term

comedy superstar a lot. That's where we're starting. But, uh, I mean, to be fair, it is kind of true in a way because you're, you're not only star of screen, meaning television screens. You have a weekly television show, which a lot of people don't have. Sure. Most of America does not have. But you also are segueing into movies. We'll talk about that a little bit. But then the third part of a triple threat is always singing. Thank you for that.

And you have the number one album in America. Comedy. Number one comedy album. Okay. But what are you in just general? The album? Yeah. We were number three in the country our first week.

Three in the country. Which, given the current state of the rest, Record industry means we sold 23 copies. But I mean, that's, you have three different things. TV, movies, albums. That's comedy superstar territory right there. Let me say your name before we continue just in case. I know I said it in the intro, but Andy Sandberg is here.

I'm so glad you got it right after that fucking wind up. I know. And here with me is Justin Bartha. Oh, the Barth. Who I adore. Yeah, nice guy. We went to NYU together. Oh, I had no idea.

Mm-hmm. Or no interest. I'm not sure. Or I told you 10 times and you chose to forget. Thank you for coming. It's been a couple years since you've been here to the show. And, you know, I always appreciate your company, both in a professional and a personal level. Thank you.

I concur. All right. We've agreed on that. At least we have that. But it's been a couple years and so much is going on. I just want to catch up with you on a professional level. of like what's happened. The last time we saw you,

you were on a program called Saturday Night Live. And you had one album out. Right. And you'd start in a couple of movies. Right. Since then. Yes. You've just multiply that by two.

Exact same stuff, just the second time around. Two Saturday, two nights. Slightly less exciting and interesting, but certainly earning some stripes. Also, last time I was on was with Zach. Yeah. And since then, his career has gone so downhill. Like, crapped out. Well, you guys, you have very similar careers in the sense of you're both amazing successes.

Right. Everything you do. Yeah. You're nailing it. But no, look, I mean, you have put out a new album. Yes. A new Lonely Island record. Yes.

Turtle Neck and Chain. Yes. Which we got to talk about at length because it's a great record. You know that I love the first record. I've played almost every track here. I love that. Did you play normal guy? The normal guy skit?

I don't think I played any skits. I actually just played the songs. Everyone hates our skits. No, I love the skits. The old saloon? The old saloon is insane. They're my favorite part. We keep putting them on despite.

They got shorter on this record. I don't know. I expected more. I wanted more. I craved more. We read too many reviews. That's trouble. Yeah.

You can't read your reviews. I don't. Otherwise, I would stop doing this. For comedy, you can never read them. No one reviews comedy fondly. Yeah. Well, everyone has a different. I mean, that must be tough because your record, okay, do you just listen to the people you respect?

Or how do you gauge the success of it? Sales or? Kind of everything. I mean, I think already, just the fact that the second record outsold the first one in the first week. No, I just mean like the interest was much higher. out of the gate and we got more press and I just consider it a success already for what we were trying to do. Right.

For what you can achieve with a comedy album today? Like, I don't, I don't, we didn't see it going any better. I'll tell you that. In terms of though how well it's received and how people think it's funny or not funny. Right. Who, how do you figure that out? It must be tough. I remember Bob Odenkirk told me that it was tough putting out Mr.

show because he was the person who would have enjoyed it the most. Right. But he couldn't. Right. You know, so is it like that? Like, are you... I wish I could review the record myself because I would give it a fucking A plus. No, I mean, it's interesting.

I'm sure you know this as well as anyone. When somebody reviews comedy, especially an album where it's track by track, every single review we read was like, this one's funny and this one's stupid. And then the next review is like, this one's funny and that one's stupid. And you're like, well, so everyone kind of likes some of them. Right. And you can't ever really make everyone like all of it. You got to just do whatever jokes you do. There's got to be plenty of people out there who like all of it.

Just you're not hearing from them maybe. Right. Possibly. I mean, you know. I like all of it. Well, thanks. I think also with what we do, so many people decide the funniest ones are the ones they've seen the video. And it's like, well, maybe if you saw the video for that one, you would also like that one.

So, you know, there's different kinds of enjoying of a comedy record, especially when music like that. You bring up the videos and it's very interesting because in the first record, you made videos for almost all of the, not almost all the songs, because you don't have the, there's probably like four key tracks that you haven't made a video for. Yeah, there were a few we wanted to that we just never got to. Oh really? Like which ones? Well, the one with Nora, Dreamgirl. Oh yeah. And the one that I really like about the, uh, the jeans. Punch you in the jeans. Punch you in the jeans. Yeah, I love that you like that. That's one of my favorites. You know who loves that song? And I don't mind going on record is Edgar Wright.

Really? Every time we see Edgar Wright. I think you're going to say Ed Begley Jr. I like to imagine Ed Begley Jr. loves putting you in his electric car. Listen to that. No, but Edgar Wright, yeah, every time we see him, punch you on the jeans is my favorite song. That's so funny. Well, thanks.

Yeah, it's kind of Jurassic 5y. Yeah. Produced by Newmark. Oh, really? Who is their actual DJ? I'm going to write down topics I want to talk to you about because I have so many that I want to. But I want to come back to them produced by. That's great.

But what I do want to talk about as far as the videos go, it's interesting because sometimes when you make a video for a song, it all of a sudden catapults it into a brand new level of like, oh, I get what they're trying to do. Which I think happened to me with the Jack Sparrow one. I kind of got the Jack Sparrow one. I was like, oh, yeah, I think it's funny. And then when you did it on SNL, it just kind of clicked in my mind and everyone's mind. I think that's one of the best examples of one where people are like, oh, that's so cool. It's Michael Baldwin. It's funny.

And then when you see him actually physically interrupting us and sort of dragging the video down into his Pirates the Caribbean obsession, it makes it a lot more fun. Right. And you get to see the reactions on our faces of being bugged. And it, you know, it becomes a scene instead of just sort of words. Conversely, were there any where you feel like you didn't achieve what you wanted to achieve with the video? No. I mean, some of them, there's a few songs on there that I really love

that I think we may try and make videos for, but I don't know that it'll be funnier for a video. You know what I mean? Sometimes your imagination is funnier than what you can physically put there, but in general, I think it all, so far I would say every time we've made a video, it's made the song funnier to people. Oh, cool.

All right, then, check. And now going back to Produce By, I wanted to ask you, because the album sounds amazing. I mean, it is a professional sounding record. I mean, and it's a lot of times when people make comedy records, they don't sound as good as the music that you're trying to parody. You guys actually try to make it sound exactly like the music that's on the radio today. Yes, for sure. How do you achieve that? I mean, didn't you guys used to be making the beats yourself?

Yes. Yes. I mean, part of that is just that we signed a record deal with a major label. So Yorma used to make a lot of beats. He still does make beats and I think is really good at it, but we are so slammed for time that he doesn't have time to just sit there and make beats as much as he used to. Right. Sorry, I'm backing up some stuff outside.

No problem. I'm going to bring a couch in here. Get comfortable, you have to. It's a fold out, so I might stay. But yeah, I mean, once we sign with the label, we say to them, you know, any contacts you have for beats that are in, you know, such and such a price range. What is that price range? Don't throw it out there if you're not prepared. We spend anywhere from like $500 to $10,000 on any kid.

based on your advance on the record. What is the cheapest beat that you bought? I mean, anything your makes. Because he's us. Right. And we kind of divvy it all out equally. Do you know what the most like just most expensive beat? Like you're like, oh, this is too much money, but we have to have it.

I think we pay. I will say this. We get good deals. People are very kind to us because they get what it is. And the artists we work with are very kind. us. They don't, you know, rake us over the coals. And you guys are used to negotiating just in your lineage. You're saying because we're Jewish, yeah.

I mean, I didn't want to. Yorm is actually not Jewish and therefore is not involved in any of the negotiations. He's the weak link. Immediately caves. Immediately. Me and Keith have to come in and just like drop the hammer. So then take a song like, uh, I just had sex. Okay.

You hear the beat. you are you going through like tapes and stuff and listen? Yeah, yeah. We get sent a bunch of demos like producers and, you know, the first record we were in with a lot of good producers. And this time, even more producers were down to send us stuff and even higher profile producers as well. So like I just had sex as a beat made by this guy, DJ Frankie, who did like the Enrique Iglesias song that was massive this year. Oh, this night I'm fucking you. I'm fucking you.

Yeah. Tonight. I'm packing you. Tonight I'm fucking you. Yeah. So that one and like I just had sex and that song were in the iTunes top ten at the same time. Oh, that's so crazy. Where you're like, what's the difference at this point?

Like they're both kind of comedy songs. Ours is just the only difference is he's saying his is a real song and we're saying ours is a comedy song. Is the producer then like is he proud of like? Oh, like, was he sending it to you? Like, hey, do you guys want to do this? We asked the label to reach out to anyone who was had beats and was like, hey, would you ever be up for, you know, these guys using your beats? So I think people sent them aware that we might use them. There's definitely been a few times where we got our hands on a beat and the person was like, like it came back and they were like, wait, what is this song?

Jizz in my box on my what? But I would think the success of I'm on a boat kind of would make people Traditional beat makers more want to work with you Yes I mean and also the fact that we work with such high quality like guest stars Yeah I mean We make a song with Rihanna T-Pain on your beat Now all of a sudden you can say yo I've worked with T-Pain or like hey not yo Is that how it's pronounced by the way T-Pain

T-Dash-Pain which is of course short for Trent Paynevich. Did T-Pain get a hold of you for this record and be like, hey, we made magic last time, what's going on this time? No, but I mean, we love T-Pain. We'd love to work with him again. I kind of, I don't know, I'm on a boat kind of worked out so perfectly with him. I don't know if we ever need to, like, touch it again. We kind of, like, drop the mic after that one.

But speaking of touching it again, Justin Timberlake, you had your second song with you. You had your second song with him on this record on Turtleneck and Chain. And then a week after the record is dropped, all of a sudden you have a new song, which is now a single. Yes. With Lady Gaga. With Lady Gaga. And Justin Timberlake. And I know that you were wary about kind of going back to that character and doing a sequel.

But now you've done a third one. It's a trilogy. It's a trill. And each one funnier than the last. Well, that's kind of you to say. it's terrifying each time we sit down to do another one of those. Is that a kind of thing where he's going to host and he just comes to you and says, okay, well, we're going to do another one, right?

Kind of, yeah. I mean, the second time we met and talked about it and we were like, should we do it again? I was like, I kind of feel like we have so much to lose at such a risk. And he was like, that's why we should do it. I was like, oh, Justin, you are so winning. You're so confident. Exactly. And then, but he was fucking right.

because I'm very proud of Mother Lover, and I think people enjoyed it. I was listening to it yesterday with my wife, and we were laughing so hard at it. That's good. You know what I love about it, and this is one of my theories lately about comedy, if you'd like to hear one. I'd love to. What I love about that record is you were both agreeing that what you're saying is a great idea. Yes. And so much of, I guess, I wouldn't even label you as comedy hip-hop, but a lot of people send me comedy hip-hop songs.

And so much of it is the, the... MC saying something offensive and then you as the listener is supposed to say oh well that's offensive I don't agree with that you're going too far right right whereas you guys are having positive reinforcement which just makes it so much funnier there's something about those two guys that for us anyway we're just like as soon as we got back into him this third time it was like yeah it's good to see these guys in their fucking rainbow overalls like and it's because they just have each other's back so hard against all odds in the face of the dumbest, wackest ideas. They're just like, yeah, we're killing it. Such a great comedy perspective. I mean, it's, it really, and then you have Lady Gaga

on the track, which is, you know, biggest star in music. She's a treat. She's a genuinely funny, goofy lady. She seemed really funny on the show. Like every sketch she was involved in, she seemed funny to me. She's having a great time. Yeah. I'll say that about Lady Gaga. She's fun. Was there any kind of back and forth about, hey, do you want to be on this and her not knowing exactly if the subject matter was right or anything like? Or is that getting too much into the making of the bread? No, no, not at all. I mean, Justin and I, thanks for saying that. Making of the bread.

That's a phrase we came up with last week. It made perfect sense to me. I didn't question it for a second. I was like, oh, that must be an old thing that people say. No, me and Justin actually were concerned that maybe she would, because she's so major with the gay community and like it's not gay when it's a three ways. You could argue is the characters being homophobic even though the joke is they're clearly in love with each other. Right. And that is something that is wrong.

No, no, no. They're looking for any excuse. I mean, it's, it's, you know. There to be made photos. Scott, you know my favorite joke is playing characters that are homophobic and making them look like morons. You know that. You know that about me. Off mic as well.

I think we may have had a moment over there by the water cooler. I may or may not have sort of air raped you by the water cooler. But, you know, we're old chums at this point. But anyhow, yeah, she didn't blink. She loved it. She never blinks. She never blinks. Well, not with those crazy contacts in.

But yeah, she was super into it. and she knew about the ones that we already done. And she was great in it. I mean, her hook is great. Her in the video, she just. So funny. Yeah. She made so many little choices in all of her performances, too,

that just kept it alive and made it more interesting. And she was super funny. Yeah. Great. And that song is, is that song doing well as a single? Yeah. Doing A-O-K. We actually posted an apology on our website to people who bought the record for it not being on the album,

but we wrote it like two days before it aired. So there was just no way. Describe that situation to me because you have a show on Saturday. I think you said in the apology you wrote it on Thursday maybe or? We wrote the song Thursday. Yeah. And how does it all come together like that? Well, I mean, a huge part of it is just because it has to.

We did shoot. That's how I feel about this show. It doesn't have to be good. It just has to come out. Yeah, as long as it happens, it exists. Yeah. And then, you know, only the gods can judge us. And they will.

Speaking of Clash of the Titans, too. Wait, I was I going to say? Oh, we actually shot the beginning of that video on Thursday morning with Susan Sarandon and Patty Clarkson. With no song yet. All we had was, your mom says hi, jinks. We just knew that's how we wanted the video to start. So we wanted to walk out, say, yeah, back in that ass.

Your mom's has high jinks and have, you know, Susan Pat, Justin, on the butt and Patty, grab my junk. And then it was going to go somewhere from there. We didn't know yet. And they were available, thankfully. Thankfully. I mean, and also a lot of,

they were only available Thursday. So that was partly why we shot that too. It was like, if we're going to get the beginning of the video, we have to do it. What are they doing on a Friday? What are their weekend plans? Yo, ladies got plans, man. But yeah, so we shot that.

And then we went back to S&L. Justin started blocking. And then we went upstairs and started writing the song. And he came up later and, you know, we just kind of locked it down. And so Friday and Saturday then you're shooting the video during the day? Or when you're-R-Friday morning, all morning. And then Friday night we did everything with Gaga. Justin sang temp for her.

Oh, for her part. Yeah. And we shot with just Justin and I all morning without her. Then she came in in the afternoon while he was blocking and recorded her parts up on the 17th floor in our writer's office. Then she left and then I went down and blocked scenes with Justin. And then we both finished and they set up all the studio stuff in the building. She came back, got into hair, makeup and stuff. And we started shooting, I'm going to say like 1130 or midnight.

Any more details with this story? I took like seven bathroom breaks. Good, good. Six number ones and one number one number. and one number two. That's a weird ratio to have, I think. Oh, that's my average. Okay.

So many ones. That's going to be on my tombstone. Yeah. So many ones. So many ones. Tell you what, let's take a break. Let's listen to one of these songs we're talking about. I love you.

I love you. I love you. Let's play one of the ones that was on SNL, and then a little later we'll play one of the funniest tracks. on the record. But let's play Reba first with bonus track. Bonus track, Reba with Keenan Thompson. With Keenan, yeah. I listened to this this morning and it made me laugh. So let's listen to this. And when we come back, we'll have more Andy Sandberg. This is Comedy Bang Bang. Bye.

Spin a long tip this track on Bucking. No, damn. I first met reaping on Cheva. She said proving and said hop to it. Made love a damn she fly. All she want to do is fuck me. I'm a lucky guy. I'm sick. I should dump her. They say she's a man who found a twerk. Now, Reeves, they're just jealous. Because I'm dating a star instead of hang. Anti-Samburg is here. I am... Oh, that sounds so...

I'm gonna mow your beaver. Hey, what's up, man? Hey, that was just... I thought I heard something. I was... I was your butts out of it. Sorry. Is that the door?

I don't think so. It couldn't be the door. This is supposed to be just a... Hello? One-on-one. Mono-a-Mano. Someone's not going to the door. Open the door, would you?

Okay. Would you open the door for me? Oh. You don't have to keep knocking on it. We opened it. Oh, I'm polite. Yeah, come on in. Come on in.

Take a seat. Hey, what's up, guys? Hi. Hey, Andy, sorry. Sorry, this is ice. You can just call me, bro. That's your name? I know, my first name's Cameron.

Cameron, bro. Yeah. Oh. I just call him bro. Yeah, I really. Just call him bro. Hey, bro. Hey, man.

So, I got a bunch of good stuff for you. Sorry, about this, Andy. A bunch of good setivas, some indicas, some high. hybrids. Yeah. I actually asked you to come after the show. Scott, you got your weed dude coming in their interview? Yeah.

Yeah, he does. Bad ass, man. Sorry. I mean, is there any way to come back or are you? Yeah, I could come back. I'll see you guys later. You don't have to knock. You don't have to knock when you leave, yeah.

Being polite, man. It's like aloha. Same hello and goodbye. Yeah, you knock when you're here and you knock. knock me. Oh, I can just take... Same thing as Namaste.

Yeah, sure, man. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why I know that. You're a Jew. Yep. Yep. Yeah, you can spot that one a mile away.

Very astute, bro. Yeah. Hey, use my name in a sentence like that. Anyway, just take a look of this stuff. I don't want to come back because I'm on my electric bike and it doesn't have a full charge. He's not. Yeah.

Can I just get a little bit of that? Yes, this is the new... This is called Merrill Streep's book. and it's a pretty heady high. I wouldn't like... If I may, that's very nicely named because it looks exactly like it. I know.

Wait a minute. How? What's up? How? Did you see it's complicated? Oh, that's right. Yeah, man, I did. DVD extras.

Yeah. Where it's just a shot of her vagina. Yeah, there's a shot for... Close up for five minutes. And let me tell you, she has a huge bush. Yeah. And it's green. Yeah.

Nancy Myers went off the rails for a couple days. Yeah. And then I'm... Nice rejoinder. There's a nice vibe in here. You guys are... Thanks. Yeah, we take the lights down.

We turn on the black lights. Scott, you want to buy some sweets so we can get him out here? Yeah, do you want anything? Yes. Yeah, what do you want, man? Whatever Scott's out. Oh, cool. Yeah, we have this one.

It'll be perfect for you. It's called the Second Bar Mitzvah. Oh, cool. Yeah, it's a little more expensive. It's kind of a... Hetty high. I feel like the last one was a heady high.

What else do you have? What do you mean by a heady high, by the way? Just like it kind of fogs up your head and stuff. Yeah, most weed does. Yeah, yeah, it does. And then we, okay, so then we got

this other one. This is called the iPad. Uh-huh. And that's kind of a heady high. It's something, you know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, like, go out in public

after smoking the iPad. But, like. Why do you call it the iPad? What features or characteristics does it share with the iPad? It's got a touchscreen. Oh. Yeah. Weird.

I don't think that's true. Well, I mean, touch it and... All right. I'm touching it. Nothing's happening. All right. The next one is... The next one we got is called...

Paintless paintbrush. That's a long name for weed. Yeah. But it's fun to think about after you've bought it. Paintless paintbrush? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Hey, I don't name them. I feel like you guys are looking at me. Who does name them? Do you have a guy that?

Yeah. I just bring all the different strands to my guy. What's his name? I just call him bra. Oh, okay. But his first name is Derek. And, oh, is that him out there? Yeah. This is the guy back of your couch. My couch was almost here, by the way.

Oh, God, I can't wait. Oh, you ordered a couch. This place could use a couch. It could, right? I know. So why do you have a guy who just names your weed? Well, we went to high school together, and he's just kind of good at naming stuff, and he was always, like, he named our band. What was that? What was that called? White picket fences.

Yeah, he nailed it. Of course. It was one of those things for, like, hours we were driving around. It was like, well, maybe that could be a band name. Maybe that could be a band name. Right. And then when we got back home to my parents' house, he was like, what about white picket fences? And we were like, bra.

You nailed it. Derek bra. Derek bra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You nailed it. And then, you know, as we grew up and moved into the industry of weed, he became the namer. Yeah.

How'd you get interested in this industry, by the way? I've always had an interest in weed. Yeah. You know, and my uncle was a grower. Not a shower. No, he had, he was, he would only, he, his dick got bigger when it got hard. Yeah, that's okay. Scott, I'm going to just stop us right here.

I kind of feel like the weed guy has commandeered my interview. Yeah, yeah. Actually, can we just get a little bit of that and a little bit of that and we'll just call it a day? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Call it a day.

I know I just said that, but what is that one called right there? This one? Yeah. Alec Butwin. Yeah, that doesn't look very good. Good job on Derek Brock. Because, yeah, it's not very appealing. I could go through all these names.

You don't have to like them at all, because I didn't name them. Totally, totally. You know, all of our judgment is. Scott Free on this one. All of our judgment. falls on Derek Bra. Yeah. Yeah.

Cool. Well, we'll just take the two that we mentioned. Yeah, sure. Wrap it up. Yeah, let's wrap it up. Do you just want to put it on my account? Yeah, we'll put it on the comedy, Bong, Bong,

account. Cool. Bang, bang. Okay, cool, man. Bong. Thanks, man. Nice to meet you. Yeah, nice to meet you guys, too.

So what do you do? You can just take off the headphones and... Yeah. Just like rise, you know... I think we will all rise up in the face of jaw. In the face of jaw. I don't think John needs us to rise up yet.

I mean, he's always asking for us to rise. That's what Jai does, man. He asks you to rise up. You know, speaking of Jha, that your Ross Trent song, you did a really funny Ross Trent song about, it was about all the kind of clichés that white guys who are into that kind of music sort of like that. But I noticed the new record,

you don't do a lot of those types of like sound-alike stuff. Yeah, man. And what the balls? Yeah, you know, it was just like certain people out there are just like a little too much into weed. Yeah. It's just pretty annoying. Those people are annoying. It's like sometimes they smoke so much they can't tell when like maybe they're not wanted.

Oh, God, the worst. Yeah. The worst. Cool. Cool. So what was happening with that song? Why aren't there more songs like that, man? Hey, Andy, I'm going to turn down his, I'm going to turn down his headphones.

Okay. Let's just whisper to each other. Okay, just for one second. Yeah, let's make sure that we don't, we're not too loud. Oh, yeah, I don't think it works. I turned out my own dead phones. It didn't work. Yeah, man.

I hear both of you guys really well. Say something. Bra, say something, bro. Say something, bro. Sure, man. Okay, cool. Yeah, we all hear each other. Everybody's hearing each other.

Okay. I'm going to turn off the lights. Okay. Yeah, there we go. Let's mellow out, man. Cool. Okay, there are. This is what we meant to do, right?

Okay, yeah, I'll put your hands on the things. Whoa. What? What? What? What? Andy. What?

Andy. Where are you? I'm sitting on your lap, man. Oh, dude. Turn on the voice. Turn on the line. Oh. You guys are a blast, man.

That was some real Pink Panther shit. Yeah. Clustos. Nope. Just again. Did I? All right. Well, it's cool seeing you, bro.

It's great seeing you, and we'll, you know, cool, buddy. Yeah, man. Are the Apple sister? here? No, they have a, they record it at a different time. Oh. Yeah, they're funny. Check out their show. Yeah, check them out. Yeah. There's some fine ladies. Cool. Well, if you're going to hang out, do you mind if I just talk to Andy here for? Oh, no, no, no, go ahead. This is cool. This is cool. It's like being at the window of the today's show. You don't mind. Super similar. Except, see, like, they, Al Roker cannot hear, you know, what the people outside the window are saying.

That's how this is different. Yeah, they don't have cans of their own microphone. Yeah. If they could replicate. Could you turn my cans up? Can you jack his cans? Can you jack up my cans, bro? Wait, you're bro.

Yeah. I'm bro, but you're talking to yourself right now? I talk, when I say bro, it's the, it's the royal bro. Got it. Good to know. So like Prince William. Yeah. Tots, bro.

All right. That guy's on fire right now. Oh, man. He's got so much going on. He's getting so much. I mean, okay. You know what he's doing? Pips?

Slamming salmon. Yeah. All day. Great movie. Great movie. Great movie. Great movie. Oh, yeah, body part.

All right. Yeah. So just kind of hang out. Bro, just kind of hang out and chill. It's cool if you light up and, you know, it's cool. But just like I'm in the middle of an interview. And this guy's not a cop, right? Are you?

He has to tell you. if you ask him. I know. So, ask him. Are you a cop? No, I'm not. Okay, yeah. He's engineered.

You bought that? Everybody bought that? I mean, it's not he has to tell you unless he's lying. It's he has to tell you. Yeah, like a vampire can't come in your house unless you invite them in. Yeah, although that's fake and the cop thing is very real. Yeah. Yeah.

That's fake? I've had vampires come into my house through all kinds of ways that I didn't invite them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. One time, the vampire was all, Hey, can I come in? I was like, no. And he's like, I'm just going to come in.

I'm already here. Sounds like a friendly vampire. Weird, though, because my foot's already through the other. My if I just kind of slip by you? I'm just going to head on it. I and Andy's smoking. Okay. All right, cool.

He's going to be occupied here for a second. Okay, great. All right. So, Andy, tell me about your influences. My lighter's a little busted. Just keep talking. Okay. So, so I know that you were really into, like,

early 90s hip-hop Ice Cube What else you got? Tell me about your influence Farside Yeah Can I light that for you? Yeah man that would be great

Great Just the lighters a little There you go Wow Did everybody see that? Yeah he Activated the lighter And flame came out

Yeah Hit that Let me get here Let me take the lighter from you Just real quick No when you Take the lighter from him It went out, yeah.

I was lighting it for it. Oh, God. It's weird. I used matches in butane. Maybe you should go get some of those matches in butane and leave the two of us. Wait a minute. Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Hold on.

We got to do something. Sorry, Andy, this is a little part of the show. Anytime we hear a plane go by, we take a plane break. Nice. Just kind of hang out for a second. Cool, is it always this song? Yeah, yeah. Well, we're going to have to sing it.

So just follow my lead. Okay. We'll be all right. There's two weeks in a row we had to do with Malaney too. Can't believe it. I'll try and do... How we were in a no-fly zone. All right, you almost ready?

I'm all the way ready. All right, the lyrics are taking a plane break. Okay. Okay, I'm going to scream first, though. Okay, here we go. Ready? Yeah! Cool.

That song sounded like it was going to get real rocking. It was about to. Yeah. It was like breaking down. There was like a guy singing. I'm sure he had long hair. I'm sure he did. Um,

So influences, you have what, the onyx? What are you into? You want to talk about... Onics? Influences. Let's talk about onics only. Yeah. Somebody's under the influence.

Wordplay. One for Bloomberg. Zero for bro. Bloomberg? What are you going? Andy Bloomberg. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's better than what you usually get. Sandler. Yeah. I thought you were going to say fuckhead. Look out I like this cans thing With the mic man I can tell

I feel like I'm good at it It's kind of like having a sidekick that I never asked for Yeah I'm your Robin Quivers Yeah I don't remember Robin Quivers talking Quite this much Yeah I remember it Yeah

So speaking of Sandler though Now you're in a movie with Sandler Coming out you're about to film it right Gonna film it this summer Mm-hmm Yeah What's it called again It's called I Hate You Dad for now

I hate you dad for now. So he's going to grow to love his dad. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. That's a long title. It's a lot like that weed. Yeah, it's about you, man. Paintbrush without the paint.

You don't got to put it on me. It's about you. Look, I like you, so let's just keep hanging out. That sounds like a deal. Awesome. Awesome. You don't hear friends say that a lot to each other. You have to be open with one another, you know?

It's good. In this digital age, it's so easy to just retreat. Yeah, totally. But yeah, so you're filming a movie, and, uh, uh, uh, That's exciting, right? Big major motion picture. Are you toplining it with... That's a fancy variety term for you above the title.

I can say that I hope that it makes Bofo bucks at the box office. Is it Lensing in Gotham? It's Lensing. It's Lensing. It's a Massachusetts, though. Lensing in Mass. You know an awful lot about the entertainment industry for a weed guy. Yeah, well, you know, my uncle was a grower and...

But here, so we got variety. And he was also a shower of movies. Yeah. He would grow and then he would show movies on the wall of his... Dick. Dick. Yeah. On the wall of his dick and on the roof of his balls. Sure. Yeah. The old ball roof. Yeah. And in the basement of his tank. And in the basement of his tape. Taint ref. Do we have to sing a song for that?

Yeah. Any time. Can we? Oh, Scott, can we really quickly talk about how in Spin Magazine when they did... Did you talk about this on your thing already? I think I've talked about it on one show, yeah. Isn't that terrible? It made me laugh so fucking hard. For those of you listening who don't know what we're talking about. Okay, so Spin Magazine did a oral history of Mr. Show,

and they had pictures of all the people interviewed. And I get it. I'm excited my first time in publication that I've been reading since the 1985 or show. I opened it up, and instead of a picture of me, it is. Akiva Shabar. And they have fact checkers that fact checked Every single thing I said in the interview It was a crazy in-depth great article

And no one ever checked that the picture was made And I still don't get how they got you though Because I did like a Google image search for you Expecting maybe a picture They said what is that I'm blanking on the name But you know the image sort Getty images or something like that

Apparently it was just mislabeled on getting images Because you guys don't even look all that much alike Yeah, I mean, I guess if you don't know us all that well, you go, oh, yeah, sort of. But I literally got hundreds of emails, including one from you and one from Akiva, just saying ha, ha, ha, ha. It's so fucking funny. Why? I mean, it's bad enough you guys. You're more successful than I am.

You're more famous, but you got to lord it over me. How do you measure success, Scott? That is true. Only God. Or just money, I guess. Yeah, yeah, that's better. Or weed. Weed.

You can measure success in we... Oh, you're still here. Yeah. I let you guys think that I was gone, but I'm hanging out. Nice. But I'll go. I'll go. No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you sure? I feel like we're... No, no, yeah, leave. Yeah, okay, I'll stay. All right. Oh, okay. Well, tell you, why don't we take one more break?

We'll play a deeper cut from the Lonely Island record. This is Japan, which is one of my favorites. Straight for the jugular. Yep, here we go. And this is Japan from Turtleneck and Chain. When we come back, we'll have hopefully have lit that. And we'll have more Andy Sandberg and more bro. This is Comedy Bang Bang.

We're bro. Can't believe we're in Japan. White friends in Japan. We've never been to Japan. So we wrote a song about the three of us in Japan. And our label has to pay for him. And their champagne waiting because of... She restaurant in Japan

Random shot That's a stinky use Girls penny Machines Machines Now we've seen Tumo Wrestling Yeah

That is Japan Off of Turtleneck and Chain And whose favorite song is that? That's right Literally That's right Okay so during the song We were talking

We were listening to it And chuckling obviously As all the listeners were But We were also saying That you wanted to order a pizza because you're super hungs. I am a little hungs.

I can't explain why I'm suddenly so hungry. I said that it would be okay and I would pay for it as long as we could call live on the show here. And if you said you have to drop that it is you in the conversation, you have to say, my name is Andy Sambor. Yeah. I'm going to do it. How many times do I have to say my name? At least two, but... Okay.

I would have given a way higher number. I know, but I'm kind. Oh, yeah. Mercy is my weakness. All right. So if we can get that going, what place are we going? Yeah, what do you like?

I don't know. What's the jam? What is the jam? Domino's is close. Domino's is good because the odds they'll know who I am are very low. Okay.

All right, so let's get that going. And we'll hear it on our headphones, right? They'll be able to hear it through this. What about my cans? Yeah. Will I hear it on my cans? Don't worry about your cans. Don't blow this.

Don't blow this. You're going to appreciate the pizza when it gets here. More than any of us. Is there something that I can do if he's dropping his name? I don't know the address. I don't know the address. Oh, I got it. I got it.

Okay. And what if they don't pick up? That would be so typical. Hi, this is Andy Samberg. And I like to order a... What? Deliver. Deliver.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Hey, what's the number? What's the number? The number here is... 6526. I got four one, three, three, four, seven.

Yeah, that's our number two. No one knows what's going on right now. The address is This is Andy Samberg. And we'll bleak that out. Wait, did you hear what he said? What's your name? That's Andy Samberg.

Yes. Yeah. Andy Samberg. Do you know Andy Samberg? I got it. You got it. Okay. Do you have any room number? Yeah, number 11. Okay. What can a pizza you have? Can we have a... The Andy Sanberg special? A.k.a. A pepperoni pizza. Is that what everyone wants? Yeah. Mushroom and pepperoni? Could we have a large mushroom... A large mushroom and pepperoni, please.

Okay. What about like? Pesh. All right. Yeah. Cool. That'll be, yeah, have you ever heard I'm on a boat? No. How many pizza? Just one pizza? Just one, right? Just one, yeah, yeah, that's

perfect. But everyone's agreed on those toppings? Thank you so much. Thank you for... So it's 1755, okay, and you got three minutes. Don't you want to hear the order again? I feel like we should hear the order again. Thank you, Sandy Sandysammer for messing out. I feel like we should hear it. What if he messes up the order? That was successful?

I can't believe that he put up with that. I know. He's like, the odds that this is a pretty rank order are like 150%. I've had, I used to hang out over Brian Posein's house all the time and we would order food every night and it got to a point where

he would order Chinese food and have people like hanging up on him because he would call it the Mongolian beef instead of Mongolian beef and they kept correcting him and he'd say no, I want the Mongloid beef and they would finally just hang up on him. Yeah. I'm surprised I got to hear it. They should have just made a new

dish. Do you hear that? No, no, that wasn't a plane. That was a truck. Yeah, that was a truck. We don't do anything for trucks. Here's what we traditionally do. We say, shh, shh, truck. Oh, that's the same thing you guys do when I talk. All right, so here we go. We have a new feature on the show. Are you guys ready for this? Yeah. I don't think he was asking you. This is a little something that we call Hollywood Fax. Well, it's Hollywood Fax. Wait, sorry.

I'm not supposed to do that? No, you're not at you. Sorry, sorry. I thought you were putting me on the spot. It's pretty cool. Hollywood Facts and we're going downtown. Hollywood, everybody calm down. Check out the facts.

It's the Hollywood Facts. Did I mess it up? That was the theme. No, no, no, it's great. Is that how you usually do it? Actually, I think that you're on the track now. Okay. It's the first time we're doing it, so I think you'll be in the...

If we could do it again, I could give you like a whole song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's do it again. Here we go. Nice. Well, it's Hollywood Facts, and we're going downtown. Going to Englewood now. Everybody's do your facts and know your stars.

There's glitz and glamour and lots of bars. Get a drink at a club. Then go walk in front of Chinese Theater. Hollywood Facts. Take out your dick. Check out the Facts. It's the Hollywood Facts. Bro.

All three of us are on the track. Yeah, nice. your weed guys on the track. Yes. This is fun. I don't know if you should, I don't think you should reuse that. Oh, I think we should. Well, play it by your, why.

All right. Were the levels okay? Yeah, levels are great. Great. If you need a good mastering guy, I know a guy that can master that. Oh, yeah, me too. Is it to Payne? It's to pain.

All right, so this is how we play this. I'm going to read some Hollywood facts and they may be true or they may be false. And you guys just kind of. How do we know? Well, I'll tell you after you give, Are we taking turns or is he going to try and answer before me and ruin my answers or how do you know what I'll do? Hey, I just want to know how we're going to play it. Take it easy, man.

We won't score this. You just give me your opinion and we'll get a general sense of who's running at the end. Hold on one second. I'm getting a page. Do you need to take that by name? No, it's just a beep. I just got to see what number is coming up. Who is it from?

Oh, it's from bra. Does he have a new name for a weed? No, he just wants to know where I've been because I was supposed to. You gotta get back to him, man. Yeah. Are you, bro, and bra? Is this a Tyler Durdon? Oh, man, you nailed me right away.

That arrow hit me right square between the eyes. Some reason I thought you said Tyler Perry, and I was trying to figure that out in my mind. Well, it is. Tyler Perry, he's Tyler Perry. Amidea. That's true. You finally found some common ground. Wee die.

A high five was had here in the Earwell Studios. All right, so here we go. These are some Hollywood facts. They may be correct. They may be wrong. I'll ask you true or false. But we'll know because you'll tell us. Yeah, afterwards.

Here we go. After, we've got to guess first. All right. Is this true or false? Over 50 little people were hired to play munchkins in the Wizard of Oz. That's definitely true. Yeah, that's false. False is correct.

Yeah. 48. No, there was over 50, just they were normal sized. And they're GSI and the rest of the guy. The cast were all giants, actually. Oh, good. Yeah, they were all 12 feet tall. Bro, again, I want to thank you for stepping on Occurman's punchline.

Yeah. That's what psychics do. He did take time to write these out. Yeah, I know. And I'm helping take time to punch a home. Not a lot of time. Time nonetheless. Well, I haven't taken any time to think about this.

I am a little closer to death after having done it. Here we go. All right. True or false? Harrison Ford, Harrison Ford, Big Hollywood Star. Yes. Was discovered while working as a carpenter on the set of Star Wars. Right.

True or false? I think that's false. He's working as a carpenter. on the set of of a, what's the other movie? American graffiti. False.

You're right, it is false, but no. He was discovered when he shaved off his beard in the second act of the fugitive. And people said, oh my God, you look like a movie star. Asshole. Are we not going to, am I not going to get a chance to answer? You did answer.

I heard you. You said false. Check the tape. Did I? Yeah. Asshole. Here we go. Number three.

Okay, yeah, I think I did. You're right. I'm sorry. Who do you think they're going to believe? Well, probably him because he has a tape. All right. Number three, Tom Hanks lost over 50 pounds for his role in Castaway. False. True.

True. False. Because he gained it. He gained it. True. True. It is false. His head, Tom Hanks' head, was actually photoshopped onto Allie McBeal's body.

That's true? Yeah, that's a joke from the 90s. Are you sure that you took time to write these out? I'm not sure, actually. You might be freestyling. I think we were doing better when I was stepping on your punchline. All right. Any deep Allie McBeal cuts you want to dig out of the crates.

Oh, man, that dancing baby. All right, here we go. True or false? Mark Wahlberg wore a fake prosthetic penis in boogie nights. I think that's true. No way, man. False. Bro, you are correct.

False. He wore the fake prosthetic penis in the good guys, but he only took it out during his close-ups. Do you mean the other guys? Fuck. Take two. If I try that again, I could step on the punchline. False.

You were a... Hacherman. Forget it. As promised. Okay, I didn't take a million years or do any kind of fact check. But who am I? Spin magazine? Whoa.

Low blow. Double reverse burn. Here we go. Classic Ockerman. Classic oaks. All right. Our last one. Whoa.

Chewbaca. In the Star Wars trilogy. Chubaka was played by a man in a Chubaca suit. True or false? False. Again, that's CGI. Neither of you are correct. It is false, but Chubaka was played by a wookie in a Chewbacca suit.

Seriously? Yeah, they got a different wookie and they had to put a Chubakas suit on it. He had to pretend like he was Chubaka the wookie. Yeah, exactly. He was actually Franklin the wookie. Yeah, see, that's the problem. So that is a little something that we call, see, this was both informative and instructional. You think it was hotter in that suit?

instructional and informative He was hotter in that wookie suit because he was a wookiee because he was a wookie underneath hotter than it would have been for a normal person probably yeah that's two layers thank you for answering my question

it's like a double-decker taco of wookie you've gotten really surly since you've taken those drugs well weed makes me pissed off it's not having the desire to stop smoking yeah no I feel comfortable

and my anger you pieces of shit all right well that is how you play Hollywood facts All right What the fuck is that? That's our Hollywood theme The outro You know what's great

Did you write that and have someone sing it? No, that's... You know what's awesome about this show? All the music that goes between the segments Is so nice and lengthy Speaking of which, I think it's time to play Our final game here You guys ready for it?

The very first time we ever played it Was your first appearance on the show Really? That is true So here we go It's time to play Would you rather? Yeah.

Yeah. Nice of them. Please keep going. It's so long. It's so long. I would have been really psyched if there was five and a half minutes of that. I, you know, yeah, there is. You got it short.

Wait, can we listen to a little bit more first? All right, here we go. Thanks, man. Can you turn my cans up? Oh! Yeah! Yeah! That's enough?

Really? Careful what you wish for, I think. Yeah, man. All right. A little more. A little bit more. Would you rather, of course, we all know how this is played. Listeners send in their Would You Rather scenarios to Twitter at CBBWIR.

That is at Comedy Bang Bang. Bang. Not Bong. And I will say the scenario. I will then open the floor for questions. You can ask me any question you like about the scenario to narrow down your choice because I have all the information here in front of me. And then at a certain point, I will close the floor for questions and then you will vote.

And then we will tally up the points and see who won. And how do we know? That's pretty clear, I think. I don't think I need to go into it. I'm going to just, no problem. I got pissed off. All right. Here we go.

This is at Tyler Kean. Tyler Keen asks, Would you rather the first 15 seconds of every sentence you speak sound like a didgeridoo? Or you have bananas for hands? All right. I'm opening the floor for questions. Would you rather the first 15 seconds of every sentence you speak sound like a didgeridoo? Or would you rather have bananas for hands?

for hands. I'm telling you this. I'm already leaning towards did you redo? Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't go early. Don't you dare. Don't you dare vote early. I'm not voting. I just need to clarify. It seems, it seems. It's this one that's cut and dry. Don't you dare vote early. Can you start your sentences before you get to people?

Or do they have to sit through 15 seconds every time? Great question. You could, however, you never think of anything to say until you see someone. It always reminds you of something that you want to say. So you've got to sit through 15 seconds. Now, as far as the bananas go, are the peals like gloves and the banana on the inside is your actual hand? That is a great question. Yes, of course.

When you go to a fancy dress party, you put the peels back on. Oh, so most of the time the peels are off. Yes, exactly. Most of the time you have peels sticking out of your... This is just adding to my case that this is cut and dry. Yeah. That's a really good question, bro. Thanks, man.

Oh, you're talking to me. Can your bananas get squished, though, and like, lopped off? Great question. Because that's so much easier than a real hand. Your bananas could if anyone ever were to try to cut them. Yeah. Yeah, got it. So that's saying yes.

They would squish as easily as your average banana. As your average banana, yeah. Yeah. Do they grow back? Don't feel like. Do they grow back? Do they grow back like worms? Yeah, great question.

Of course. Yeah, if they ever get squished or lopped off, they grow back. Now we're playing with a different game. That's why we play the game. But I also will ask you this. do they rot? Yes. Especially if you leave your hands

in the refrigerator. They go bad quicker. Oh man, that's going to be a problem. That makes sense. Do bananas go bad faster in the fridge? Yeah, yeah, they turn brown. Yeah, man. They do.

I don't keep my bananas in the fridge, I guess for good reason. Yeah, you can't. Not in this climate. Okay. Okay. And Can you shape the bananas

and use like hardening solution to make them more like a hand or a dildo? Yeah. Of course, yeah. You can lacquer them up. So the real question is, would you rather have banana dildo hands? Well, I mean, if you wanted to dildo for a hand. If you were so inclined to make them into dildos.

Who would want a dildo for a hand? You want bananas for hands, not dildoes. I don't know. I feel like I've seen that on real sex on HBO. Oh, yeah. A bunch of people with dildo hands. You may have been watching Edward Pinas Hands. I may have been watching that again.

Did you ever see that? Classic, classic porno movie from 1980. I haven't seen it, but it's what it sounds like, right? Everyone's seen it, yeah. Everyone in the world has seen it. No, no, I mean, what's it about? My uncle screens it on his dick, on his dick, on his dick and balls. Wait, so it's just a guy with dildos on his hands.

It's a parody of Edward Cissor Hands, what he is. And he's like pumping the dildos in and out of ladies. Yeah, and they squirt onto them. Are you hearing what I'm hearing? Sounds like plain. God damn it. Yes. All right.

We'll do a short one. Okay. I don't think music and short on this show exists. You can't. Q me on the screen? Yeah. Am I allowed? Yeah, yeah.

There we go. Turn my cans up. God, the intro is so long. It's great. You ever see any movies you seen recently? This sucks. Why did you start this tradition? Yeah, man, I saw Tree of Life.

It's so people aren't bothered by the Plainsaw. You guys see Tree of Life? It's very helpful. Wait, I feel it's coming, right? Alright, we got a screen. Here we go. Yeah! Here we go.

And take it a... Great plane break, guys. Is that another plane? Fuck. I think it was. Oh, shit. Oh, man. It was not.

I'm going to make a judgment call and say it was not a plane break. I don't want people to get sick of plane breaks. We just had one last week, and now we have two. Yeah! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. All right. Misjudge the room. Yeah, man.

Doesn't feel so good, does it? It doesn't feel so good, does it? You're cognizant of the fact that you're constantly misjudging the room? Yeah, man, I'm high. I know I'm misjudging the room in every room I walk into. You're just plowing through it with confidence and good cheer. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like it.

All right, guys, we got a vote. We have to. So I'm closing the floor. I'd rather, Dizzy Hattie Do. Dizzy do. Didreedoo, when why is that? Because I want my hands. To do what?

Touch boobs. All right. And bro, how do you like to vote? injury due. And why? It's harder to deal with weed with banana hands. But don't you think that like every time you would go over to a customer's house, they would get sick of you? Oh, never mind.

Burn. Do you want to finish that question? This guy doesn't get it, man. This guy doesn't get it, dude. I know. This guy's crazy. No, no. We're talking about you, bro. Yeah, bro. Oh, God. All right. So, uh, you

both voted the same way. So that is a All right, let's go to one more question. Here we go. Steve the danger, Steve Dangerous. Wait, what's his name? At Steve the Danger. I know this guy. I know Steve Dangerous. He asks, would you rather have hemorrhoids?

Would you rather have hemorrhoids and only eat hot Cheetos? Or would you rather look identical to Osama bin Laden with hemorrhoids? Man, this is a classic dangerous question. This is actually a no-brain. classic steaming. Well, I'm opening the floor for questions. And I'll tell you why. Well, don't, please.

Osama bin Laden. You're going to lose the game if you vote right now. Osama bin Laden eats nothing but Cheetos. So it's basically the same thing. So it's basically hot Cheetos or cold Cheetos. And look like Osama Lott. I think he means spicy Cheetos. Oh.

No, no, no. That's why you have to ask. Does he mean spicy hot? No, he means heated up Cheetos in the microwave. That's a very common thing. Yeah, put into Cheetos soup. Now, when he says look like Osama bin Laden, he means like really look like him. That's definitely a plane, guys.

That was not a plane. That was a truck. All right. By the way, donate to our new studio if you want to stop hearing plane breaks. Because this is being recorded out of a hotel room at the Ramada near the Burbank airport. You guys have like soundproofish things. I know. I don't know what their purpose is.

They were put up. I guess for the other rooms in the complex. Decoration. You know what I think it is? I think it's to deaden the sound into the mics, and I think it's doing a great job. I'm right, right? I think it's to deaden the comedy.

Engineers says yes. And it's doing a great job. All right. Any other questions other than how hot the Cheetos are? Yeah. Yeah. What do you got, bro? Well, the hemorrhoids are the first question,

because you're going to end up with hemorrhoids either way, right? Sure. So do you have Osama Bin Laden's health care as well, like the people that were caring? for him in the place? His insurance, you mean? Do you have a stack of porno? Is that what you're asking me?

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, you have everything Osama bin Laden had because everywhere you go, people treat you like Osama bin Laden. Or his ghost, because they know he's dead now. Yeah. Well, that's different. Yeah.

So, but you know, you've managed to convince your followers that they missed. Well, this raises a really interesting question, which is if you have hemorrhoids in this life, do your ghost have hemorrhoids? That is a great question. In the scenario where you only eat hot Cheeto soup, you have hemorrhoids as a ghost and as an angel, depending on your belief system. Got it. But when you look like Osama bin Laden, you ascend to heaven and you lose your hemorrhoids.

You lose the ghostly veil. Do you get the 72 virgins? Yeah, you get it all, man. You get everything. They were right. They were right. They were right about it all. So funny how that's like pretty much all we know about Osama.

It's the 72 versions thing. That's the only pull. Comedy comedian has. That is the only reference I am comfortable making. I can make a bunch of ones that are wrong. Sure. Do you get Osama's jeans? His denim collection?

I thought you meant like his DNA. Both. Do you get his DNA and his denim collection? Do you get his winning personality? He left a little sample of his DNA, yeah. Because when you're that charismatic, when you're that charismatic, you can charm your way past some hemorrhoids. Sure. Yeah, man.

You just bypass him. Can I squeeze in here? Just like that vampire. Booty. Yes. Do you mind about to slip the room? You got a foot in the door already. I'm a vampire.

I'm a vampire. Oh. Great question. You are a vampire in that scenario. You are. Oh, wow. You are not in the Hot Cheetos scenario. Okay, so you're Osama bin Laden is a vampire you live forever.

You're not Osama bin Laden. Come on, bro. Just hemorrhoids and vampire. You look like him. me about my first name when I'm in here. Cameron. I'm sorry, Cameron. You look like Osama bin Laden, but you are not him.

But it's like a moon over Peridore thing where people treat you like it. But I just want to make that clear, you are not he. Nice moon over Peridore, dude. Not familiar with that. That's all I know about it. You're not familiar with that reference. I'll say that. That's Man in the Iron Mask, right?

You guys all set to vote? Here we go. Ready? You said it was pretty clear cut, Andy. Yeah. But then you got some new information. We're on the edge of our seats. Okay.

How do you like to vote? Definitely vampire with hemorrhoids that's not Osama. But who looks like Osama? No. The other, you say one is just hemorrhoids. One is just hemorrhoids who eats hot chito soup, who gets hemorrhoids when he goes to heaven. Okay. That's one scenario.

Okay. The other is hemorrhoids looks like Osama bin Laden. Uh-huh. What were the other? Is a vampire? Uh-huh. And loses his hemorrhoids when he gets to heaven and gets the 72 virgins. Oh, I take that one.

You take that one. Why is that? Well, because you get to be a vampire, which is badass. That's true. They're very in right now. You get to look like Osama bin Laden, the dream. And you get a sweet case of hemorrhoids. You get to eat as much hot chito soup as you want.

And as little, too, because the other guy has to eat it. So, yeah, you get to eat it as much or as little. And you lose the hemorrhoids when you go to heaven, and you get to have no hemorrhoids while you're pork in a bunch of verge. That's what's all about. Yeah, that one became very clear in the end. All right. Bro, or Cameron, sorry.

How do you like to vote? I disagree. With whom? With, uh... With, uh... With, uh... Good Mr. Sandberg? Bloomberg. I...

You know, you know that's not my name. I know, but I think that the listeners will find it amusing. What purpose does having you here serve other than that? I don't know. I, I, I, I go with the hot chito suit. Okay. Why is that? I like hot chito.

soup and I don't mind hemorrhoids. So wait, but you can have it all in the other scenario. But I don't feel comfortable with the Osama stuff. He's also bummed out to lose the hemorrhoids when he goes to heaven. Yeah. Well, once they become a part of you, it wants to hang on to those hemorrhoids. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Andy, can you like let me explain my own decision? I'm sorry, man. I feel like I'm pretty eloquent. The Bloomberg part of me just wants to get in there and lawyer. I understand it. I'm defending my client. I get it. Are you done with your voting?

Your explanation is at its end? Yes, thank you for asking me like that. Well, let me tally up the points because you voted differently. You were tied before, and unfortunately, Cameron here voted correctly in the last one, and so he is the winner. So sorry. Fuck that. Nice. So at a score of three to zero, that last one was worth three.

Yeah. Why did you do that to me, Scott? He is the winner. So sorry. And that is how you play. Would you rather? All right, cut it off, cut off. All right, guys, that is, we're running out of time here.

I fucking came all the way over here and you fucking gave it to the weed guy. Hey, man. I'm sorry, but that's, you know, I got to be fair. I got to be tough. You're the only person in the world that hates the weed guy. You think that he came? That's not true. Scott hates you.

You're the only two people in the world that hate the weed guy. It's not true, the engineer hates you. This is the only room I've ever been in where everyone hates me. Hello, everyone. I was just walking through the neighborhood. I thought I'd pop in the window and let you know I hate the weed guy. Oh, thank you, sir. That's four.

I love that guy. What's that guy's name? First of all, that guy was wearing old-timey everything. He beat his head in a newsboy cap. He had sock garters. He threw me a dime. Scott, what other impression do you have up your sleeve that hates the weed guy that you can do real quick? Oh, okay.

There's, of course, like, hi, this is Gilbert Godfried. And I hate the weed guy. I've been in the antechamber. this whole entire show and I am now going back in it Well, I tell Giver Gaffrey, I'm not a fan of his Aflak material Well, he's gone from Affleck too Yeah, good, good.

You're happy. All right guys, we just have the last thing to do which is, of course, a little something that we call plugs. Clugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, clubs, I'm Wow, Wow. This had to be the week that someone writes a really long one.

Two plane breaks. I like it. I like it. Hollywood, would you rather? And a really long plug screen. All right, I'll shut up. Someone made this for us. Oh, good. Still going.

Jesus. That's not us, by the way. That's this one. Does someone... Is that gullum? Is that gullum? I was going to say, do you get a lot of these sent in

and then you choose the one you're going to put on? Well, Engineer Doug sifts through the many submissions to find the best ones. And that was submitted by Andy Circus. I'm not doing anything lately. Let me write a song. Engineer Doug, all of these today were your call? Yeah. Ooh.

I did want to say it is the What's Up Hot Dog Memorial Plug song, by the way, or section, by the way. What do you guys have to plug? You guys have any shows to plug? Of course, Andy, we know Turtle Neck and Chain is out there on iTunes and all your major portals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get that in all the portals. And what else? Going back to SNL this year?

Yeah, next C's. You've been, by the way, you've been doing a lot of stuff in the, the live show this year, which I really, I want to compliment you on. You've been stepping up your game in that respect. Thanks, Scott. I've really been enjoying that. Thank you very, very much. I've been trying, so that means a lot. Any, um, any thing, any dates, any, what are you doing? I'm the chief shark officer of Shark Week. Okay, good. I think that starts July 29th. Wow, where can people see that? Animal Planet? Discovery. Discovery, that's right. Wait a minute, Shark Week's not on Animal Planet? It's on Discovery, man. Well, that's a fierce bidding war.

Dumb. Straight up dumb. I think you're dumb. I know. I know. Most people do. Wait, now you said that we're the only people who think you do.

No, no, you're the only people that hate me. Most people think I'm dumb. Oh, okay. Excuse me. I was in the neighborhood.

I just wanted to swing by and say, fuck the weed guy. Good day. Oh, thank you, ma'am. Hey, I wanted to come back here

and say, I'm Gilba Godfrey, and I think you're dumb. You don't have to introduce yourself every time. Hey, what's up, y'all? I just wanted to swing all the through. What's up.

Say, fuck you, weird guy. This is Shaq, saying, have a good Christmas. Hey, this is Sacks older brother. Sacks? Sacks. In between playing the sacks, I like to come by and say, I also like to play the trombone. Well, I have news for you. I just popped in the neighborhood and I hate everyone in here.

Who's this? That's me. That's just me. I knew it was you. Boston. You charlatan. See you later, Shack and Sack. All right, we got, do you want to plug anything?

You have any? Oh, I got a new strand. I got a new strand. That'll be coming out soon. The bra named. That bra named. Uh, inspector widget. Mm-hmm.

And that's a pretty heady high. And, uh, that should be out soon. All right. And I, what am I play? I don't have any dates coming up. Oh, wow. We're taping the Comedy Bang Bang TV pilot. So we'll let you know how that goes and doing a little mini-taping here with our guest here today.

I'm very excited doing a little bit in something we're doing. So I appreciate that. And that is it for the What's Up Hot Talk Memorial plugs. Oh, but feel free to go to Earwolf.com. We have message boards there now so you can comment about this episode over there. And leave us a good iTunes review. Yeah. And also don't be a fucking dick in the message boards, you guys.

Seriously! Yeah. How did you know? It's enough. It's enough. Guys, vent your anger at your spouse. Yeah. And you don't have to be the first one to say first.

I like to be the third one to say first. Yeah, that's original. Yeah. Love it. It's so meta. Guys, I mean, when I say guys, I mean, Andy, thank you so much. You're welcome. You are welcome.

For being here. Just me. This is great. You're very welcome, Scott. I respect you a lot. Thank you very much. You're a great friend, and I appreciate you taking time to be here. This is fun.

To be here. Let's all do this again in like five years. No. Just me and Scott. Never. Never. Oh. Remember last time I did this?

It was Zach. Wait a second. That's a plane. That's a plane. That's a plane. All right. Let's take a plane break out, guys. We'll see you next week.

This has been Comedy Bang, Bang. You'll hear us next week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you'll hear all of us. We're coming back. We're coming back. We're coming back strong.

You guys are ready for our last and final plane break? Kind of. Also, you want to warm up your voice at all? Someone knows me 100 bucks for this. Yeah. Don't worry. Oh, and you owe me $100 for the pizza. Fair.

We'll call it. Did we really order that? That's coming. We did. Yeah, it's coming. All right. You guys ready? Limbaugh.

Me, me, me, me, me, me. Scott, I'm going to take off, man. Wait, we're in the middle of blame break. No, I'm just going to, I'll see you later. Just kidding. Sike your mind. Are you going to be my girl? No.