Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: The PeeE Neurs (Langston Kerman, Ego Nwodim, Carl Tart, Paul F. Tompkins)

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Stand-up comedian extraordinaire Langston Kerman joins Scott to talk about his experience writing for The Oscars the year Chris Rock hosted, his character Jered on "Insecure," and spoilers. Then, inventor/businesswoman Entrée PeeE Neur returns to pitch some new inventions. Plus, Entrée’s brother Appetizer PeeE Neur stops by to talk about having to quit his jobs to take care of his sick mother. Originally released as episode 592 on 03/17/2019. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, everybody. Scott Ackerman here, and welcome to another bonus bang, where we are re-releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall. And today we are starting a new series. We're very excited about this series focuses on the wonderful character, Entre P. Neuer, played by Ego Wodom of SNL. We all love Ego on SNL. She just left that show after seven seasons, I believe, and a great talent. She comes on Comedy Bang, Bang, and this is one of her favorite characters to do.

And this new series, we're calling a buffet of entrees. And every episode is going to focus on Entree P. Neuer. Now, this episode is called The Peenewers, and it was originally released as Comedy Bang Bang Episode 592 on March 17th of 2019. We have Ego as Antre P. Neuer, as well as the first and only appearance thus far of Entre's brother, Appetizer P. Neuer, played by Carl Tart. We also have comedian Lankst. Justin Kerman, who is going to talk about writing for the Oscars, the year that Chris Rock hosted,

and also maybe a little visit from a very frequent guest, the very patriotic Jarls, played by Paul F. Tompkins. Now, if you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show we've ever done, add-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott hasn't seen. And if you're a big Entrey P. Neur fan, you know you can order the action figure right now at shop.figurecollections.com. We also have other great comedy bang bang characters like Taliano Jones, Carissa, Randy Snuts. You can even get an action figure of me, should you so desire. You can also, if you're outside of the U.S., go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases.

We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang. I'm going to be bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang. I'm going to give you a deep impact then Armageddon out of here. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang Bang. Thank you to Sen. your gravy stains. Send your gravy stains. What a wonderful username you have and a wonderful catchphrase submission. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. This is exciting. We have, coming up on the show, we have a small business owner or perhaps an inventor. I can't recall, but she's been on the show before. So we'll be talking to her about her business ideas. And we also have a relative of hers as well coming up a little later. So that's very exciting.

But before we get to all that, interesting conversation, we're going to have a side interesting conversation with our guest of honor, as I like to call the first person we ever talk to. He's never been on the show before, although he was on the Comedy Bang Bang TV show and he and I've worked together in the past. A wonderful comedian, you can see him on Insecure,

which is, I believe, an HBO show if I'm, no, it's not where we're, it is an HBO show. Hey. Please welcome Langston Curbin. Hello, yay! He's pumping his fists up and down. He's happy to be here. First time, long time. First time, long time. First time, long time. First time, long time. We decided a few episodes back that when you tape your first and last policy. So you tape your last one right after. And then you can be on in between. But we don't want to have just suddenly you disappear. And everyone's like, where'd Langston go? So we want to do a celebratory goodbye. Yeah. To the whole thing. I've been doing so many of those, by the way, that I have about a year and a half banked. of just the last episodes of everyone. Just an in-memorium of all of your guests. Everyone's saying goodbye, singing to me.

I hope you have something in the chamber. Turning the lights off at the end of the episode. Exactly. Alla, cheers. Welcome, Langston. It's so good to see you. You and I go a bit back, a few years back. We worked on a pilot together.

That's right. We shall remain nameless. Don't tell anybody, please. Never got picked up. And then we wrote on the office. Oscars together, which was a fun, fun time. Was it? Was it, Scott?

It was hard. It was really hard. It was hard for you. It was very hard for me. I dipped in and out. I was taping the last season of comedy bang bang, and I, uh, I didn't have a lot of time, but they said, just come by whenever you can. You had, you had a sweet deal because you would come in and, like, be real casual about

whatever that was, and I had been in the room for, like, seven hours bombing, so it was. And I believe we got paid exactly the same. Yeah, it was very frustrating. when they handed out the checks at the end and I saw that our... And we compared... We're identical. Yeah.

Too bad. Too bad. But we met Pouti Tane. That was pretty cool. That was great. Yeah, Lance. Yeah, he was great. We wrote for the Chris Rock year.

Yeah. And if you're going to pick two people to write for Chris Rock, you and me are the obvious choices. It was perfect. Me, you and Neil just... Neil Campbell, yes. Killing with Chris Rock. The three of us and Steve O'Donnell as well. I remember the four of us would hang out a bit together.

It was fun. That was, I mean, that was one of your first high-profile writing gigs. Is that correct? How was that for you? It was my first actual writing gig ever. Did you have to join the WGA, as they call it? I think so. Yeah, I think that was the D. WGA Strong. Over here. I think I joined. Yeah, I'm really standing with them in all of this. No, yeah, I think that was the first one that I ever had to do. What was it like? I mean, a lot of people out there, look, you're a wonderful stand-up comedian who has a body. work out there in the stand-up field. But a lot of people out there who are interested in show business are trying to get in show business. They want to know what is that experience like writing for the Academy Awards. And for that to be your first writing job, what is it like?

Yeah, it's terrifying, right? Like, it's just you trying to figure out how to make your hero laugh for a day. You're a big Chris Rock fan. I love Chris Rock. He's one of the best ever touch a microphone. And then you try to make him laugh and it doesn't work. And he figures out, new ways to be funny about telling you you're doing bad. So it's like, oh boy. That was a big part of it. A lot of the humor came from just telling us we were doing a bad job. It was like, hey, make it funny. And it's like, oh, okay. All right. I tried my best. But sure, I'll, I'll sit with this. So from first to last, what was it like? What was your first day like? What was, that's the general experience. But like, what are the deets? Like, spare us no dirty deets. First day, we show up to a hotel.

where we're having lunch, but nobody will eat because we're all scared. Except Rich Voss. Rich Voss ate. He had a full meal. He ate off of other people's places. Rich Voss felt nothing because he's Rich Voss. The rest of us were too nervous to finish a meal, and we just kind of waited on Chris Rock to be there and say things out loud, and we nodded as if we understood what that meant.

And then three months of watching movies that I didn't care about. The Danish girl. Oh, I barely even remember that existing, let alone. I never watched it. Yeah, I watched it. Front to back. What was up? What was up for the award?

What was up for the award? About the Danish girl. Wow. How many got in? Not a one. But you know what did get in. Tracy Morgan eating Danishes because the Danish girl. There you go.

That's how it works. A lot of times you're in these rooms and it's not about crafting the perfect joke. It's about just saying stuff and then that'll lead to something else. And, you know, like something gets on the screen. You're like, well, I can't say I wrote that necessarily as much as I, I don't know. But that's what that's what group writing is like is like you're just, you're paid to talk a lot. Yeah, I mean, you quickly learn, you I'm sure know this, like the most of what it was was us just being a punching bag for Chris's ideas. So it was like he's going to write 90% of this.

He just needs a soundboard to like, I figure out if this is funny or not. What I found is every host is different. You're there to facilitate whatever the host wants. It's not that you're there to get your stuff on. You're there to be a sounding board for whatever they want to do. Say if it's Andy Sandberg at the Emmys, he wants to do a lot of written comedy. So great, you're there to do written comedy. If it's for Chris Rock, he wants to really focus on the monologue.

And so you're there to just talk about things and talk about issues that we're going on. I remember the Black Lives, not Black Lives Matter. What am I thinking? Oscar So White. Two very similar campaigns. You remember when all those celebrities got murdered at the Oscars. All those Chadwick got shot. Oh, man, it was terrible.

Nobody was happy about it. But Oscar So White was going on and suddenly, and Chris had already agreed to host before that reared its ugly head. I remember he kept stepping outside to take calls from prominent black leaders. from them to like say, hey, what are you going to do about this? And him to like say, well... It was literally like Jesse Jackson was like calling to be like, hey, man, I don't think you should do the house. Or Chuck D.

Or I can't remember who else. But it was like he was constantly taking calls from people. Right. Yeah. I think it's like for him it was such a weird dance because he wanted to just be a comedian. Right. He's like, I just wanted to go out there and not have their responsibility.

Although, you know, as a comedian, you have a certain responsibility. to say stuff that resonates and matters, but at the same time, the added responsibility of you have to focus so much of your comedy on this one issue. Right. It's like, I wanted to make fun of Mel Gibson

for being Mel Gibson, not Mel Gibson because he's a part of like a system that's created hatred and bigotry. What else are you making fun of Mel Gibson for? I don't know. He looks like shit now. Oh, whoa! Hey, suck a dick, Mel Gibson.

This is Langston's comedy, though. Very Mel Gibson centric I've been on him for a while before all that weird stuff where he hated Jews

I Air America I'm not a fan of lethal weapon for that's of course the one that Chris Rock was in

so Chris wanted to make fun of his co-star I don't know we're just this is not a real thing please no blogs pick up on this

a permanent thing this is not a thing but and then let's talk about the actual like physical details of doing the show

Yeah. Because you're in a hotel room for quite a few weeks. Yeah, we spent like three weeks living in a hotel room and then writing every single day in that same hotel. And I would pop my head in for an hour or two at a time, one day a week. You'd poke in. You'd say hello to everyone. You'd leave. You had a good deal.

And then even the Oscars night. We were in the basement. Yeah. So the Oscars night, here's what happens. You do get to park in good parking. The sweet parking. Although you were in the hotel room, so maybe you... I didn't park anywhere.

Yeah, you just walked across the street. And I was like, that's pretty good. You get to park on the actual, like, P1, which is, I don't know if you know the... I know one is better than two. Yeah, it goes all the way down to six, maybe. But you get to park on P1 right next to the entrance. A lot of security. You're not allowed to take a photo of your badge because then someone, you know, an Instagram

it because then someone can copy it and then, you know, it has a, you know, the security symbol on it. So you go through security to get into the very famous, what is it, the Kodak Theater? The Dolby. The Dolby now. I think maybe it used to be the Kodak. You get in there and you're expecting a lot of times when you work on these things like, oh man, I'm going to be like right off to the side of the stage. The glitz, the glamour. Going to be like feeding jokes, you know, in the host's ear.

And you're led then downstairs through the catacombs to a very, very, very, tiny closet-like room. We were next to the band's equipment, like the leftover equipment that the band was like, yeah, we're not going to use. We don't need these. Too many triangles. We'll leave these down here.

We'll leave the Maracas downstairs. You let into a room. And it has a 12-inch TV on the wall. Very, very tiny. Not even a good TV. And you have one like red telephone in the middle of the, in the middle of the table.

Yeah. And like an old one, like a commission. Gordon bat phone. It has like the cake, the glass above it that you have to lift. For some reason, it still had the rotary. It's like, come on, that's not the fastest way we could call these people. By the way, sidebar on this, that cake thing that they used to keep on the bat phone, we were trying, or we had this thing in Bang Bang, we never used, which was I was going

to get the hotline, I was going to raise the cake lid, grab the phone and it was cake. My hand would just sink into it. But we never found a place to put that. So you're led into this tiny room and you, by the way, the other part, you are required to wear a tuxedo. Yes. We had to wear full tuxedo. I, of course, owned several.

Did you buy or did you buy or did? I bought a tux for it. Because I thought that this would come in more of more use in my life. Well, I was flipping through your Instagram the other day and you were at the Emmys. Yeah, I went to the Emmys as a plus one with my, my girl. She got us in the Emmys. She works. for the TV Academy.

Oh, great. Well, she's a lawyer that they represent the TV Academy. Oh, okay, great. So she got to go and took you with her. I saw picks on the red carpet. You were wearing your tucks. It looked good. Thanks, man.

Same tucks. So two times you've been able to wear this. Any weddings? I did. I wore it to my manager's wedding too. Okay, great. So, three times, as they said in the Fugis. Sure.

And that about it? You're wrapping it up? There's never going to be a fourth. Maybe that would be a fourth. Okay. Someday, I hope. to wear my tux again. So you're required to wear a tuxedo, but you are then led down into a basement where no one

will ever see you. Never. And they make a point of saying, don't leave this room. Don't you dare think about coming upstairs, you ignorant slut. You'll never see the light of day. How do they know you were a slut? I was giving off vibes. You know, you can tell with these slut type.

Oh, you're shaking your little butt around. I'm wearing those low-rise jeans. Boots with the fur. Underneath my tucks, it's weird. And then you, if you ever have an idea, which you're not really encouraged to ever have an idea. No. You then ask someone to call someone on that phone. You're not allowed to call on the phone. We were, I feel like you and I were probably three positions away from actually being able to make the call.

We were far in the back. You're jammed in there with every other writer, other than the host usually has one or two-point people who are answering the phone on the other end. Right. But there's just not enough room in those spaces to have, you know, 20 writers. But even so we would have to report to somebody who would then make the phone call and then they would report to the liaison who would then communicate it to Chris. Decide if they were going to communicate it to Chris.

Decide if they were going to communicate it, which often became the thing where it's like, you write a joke, you share it with the two head writers, they decide if they're going to share it and they're going to decide to share it in the way that they think is most appropriate to share the joke and then it becomes a game of telephone that isn't really the joke that you probably started with. Possibly, although I don't remember anything we ever said on the phone ever getting said on stage. Not even a little bit. So you're then, so then you spend about three, three and a half hours in a tuxedo in a hot room. Yeah. With a bunch of other people or if you're one of the lady writers here in a dress, obviously. And then it's over. And

And then you're allowed to go to one party. The governor's ball. The governor's ball. Yeah. And that's fun. It was pretty nice. Yeah. Yeah.

What did you eat there? Sushi. They had a pile of sushi taller than me, and I was like, I got to eat, I got to eat that. A seven foot tall? A pile of sushi? You're very presumptive. It was only 511. It was 511 of sushi.

And you're required to jump up to the top of the stack. You have to scar from the top. Yeah. You can't pick out salmon rolls from the mule. middle. They're very strict about that. Yeah, I had sushi. I had some of those chocolate Oscar-shaped men. You know, they had the men, but they eat them, they're chocolate. That was great. And you're just like shoving Oscar chocolate men down your throat? Sure. I love the motion. Yeah, I'm miming something that was not too polite. He made it much more sexual than I

planned it to be. But here we are. Comedy Bang Bang. Much more sexual than I planned it to be. That's our theme for this year. And then it's over and you go back to your hotel and you get on a flight home and people ask you about it. And they go, oh, my God, what jokes did you write? And what do you get, what do you usually say? I get that a lot. What jokes did you write? I just tell the truth.

I bet you wrote this one. Yeah, of course. You tell the truth, always. I literally got nothing. Although you're not under oath. No. I mean, the cool thing would be like most of them, like pretty much all of them, those are all me. This is really my presence.

You know the monologue? That. No, I, yeah, I don't know what to tell people. No, you just kind of go like, oh, it's not really about that. You try to spin it that way. It's not really about writing jokes. Yeah. I didn't, I never felt good about telling anybody that that was a successful effort on my end.

I think it was successful on your end because you were there, as you said, you're there to get the finished product across the line, whatever that may be. Whatever small part, they hire so many people so that it's just a numbers game there of just like whatever small thing you may have put in that gets it there. I think the weird thing with comedy is that most people don't know that concept that this, like nothing is written by one person. Like we collectively make these things and sort of run them past people. Aaron Sorkin. Sure. Yeah, he's the one exception. But that's a lot due to cocaine.

And walking. He does a lot of walking. Does he really? write those walking things. Wait, he walks as he's writing in order to... I don't think he can get the cadence right. Let's see. This hallway is approximately 45 yards.

I'm going to walk 45 yards while I write this scene. You got to make sure. And when it's over, I'm done. Let's see. I want to now segue over to the show Insecure because you're on that show. What's your character's name? I looked it up. His name is Jared.

Jared. That's right. Like a J-A-R-E-D situation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or yes. Yeah. I've never actually spelled it out. Really? I'm not 100% sure, but that sounds right. It sounds about right. Yeah. I don't know. Now, I have not seen the show. I hear great things about it. And my wife, excuse me. I get emotional when I talk about her. My wife. No, my wife watches it and I'll wander through the room occasionally. And I didn't know you were on it. And I wandered through the room. And you were there. And I said, oh, hey, that's Langston. And my wife, Kulop. I don't know. You've met her. Yeah. She goes, no. No, it's not. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure it is.

And then she got me doubting it. And I was like, no, that's slang. And she's like, I don't think so. And I started wondering why she was saying it like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I suddenly realized that she'd been watching, you have a very sexy part on the show. I do. And she was like, I don't think my husband knows this thirst trap is all I could really kind of get from that.

It's like, you're not cool enough to know this great guy. For some reason, she didn't put it together that that was you because you're so, like, sultry and sexy and cool on that show. Well, I transform. I'm truly a transformed actor on, no, it's just me pretending to be very nice and sexy when I'm not. Well, I think it definitely worked on her because she was like, she was like, no, no, no, no, I've met Langston. And this is, this hot dude is not Langston. This dude, selling something. And you are, that's two seasons on that show, is that right?

I did the first, I was in the first season quite a bit and then I made a brief appearance in the third season. I know Comedy Bang Bang has lots of crossover with Insecure as far as listeners and, yeah, no spoilers, but third season. Third season's coming up and you, it already came. It already came out, okay. It's like sort of like. Isn't that bad now that you can stream anything and watch anything whenever you want, now we have to protect spoilers for years. Yeah. Years.

Right, because somebody could be like, I was going to get to that. Yeah. Fuck you. Right. Like, I understand Bachelor spoilers up to two days, maybe. Sure. You know what I mean? And then it's past the point of expiration.

I don't love when people go on the internet and just, like, announce a bunch of stuff. But if we're having a conversation, I'm not going to, like, pull back on this shit. If it's a movie that's come out in their last two weeks or maybe even a month or whatever, I'll check with someone and go, hey, what do you think about this? But if it's been three years, stop making me not finish Fight Club, I'm going to tell the ending to Fight Club at this point. Well, that's wonderful. You're a great stand-up, and where are you out there performing these days? Oh, I run a monthly show at a place called Milk Tavern, where we... So it's every day for a month, and then you stop for 11 months? That's great.

For the entire month of March, we'll be at Milk Tavern every Wednesday. Why is it every month? every day and Wednesday. I'm not good at this. It's a monthly and Wednesday show. It's great. So that's here in town in L.A.? Yeah, in Korea Town. In Korea Town, right.

They sell ice cream with alcohol in it. Oh, they do? It's a delight. What alcohols and what ice creams? They have like sherbert with tequila in it. They have like, yeah, all the mixes probably. I've only had that one, so that was the one I was going to list up. Wow.

And are you out there traveling as well? Can people see you in other states? I'm going to be in Grand Rapids this weekend. Well, I think this may, well, it might be out by then. Sure. Great. So Grand Rapids this weekend. We'll do plugs a little later, but people can see you.

Do you have a special out as well? A Comedy Central half hour. Great. And people can, no spoilers. No spoilers. What do you talk about without giving spoilers? Men and women. A lot of men and women.

Oh, good. Shopping. You know, the women are doing that one. It's their thing. And, yeah, I, you know, I just talk about stuff. I don't know. It's nonsense. You're a wonderful comedian.

I implore everyone to go look at that Comedy Central special. But we need to get to our next guest. Is that okay with you? You're not the guest of honor, as obviously you were. No, I'm excited to meet your next guest. Well, we've met her before. When I say we, I mean the Royal We. And when I say the Royal We, I mean the Royal Listeners of Comedy Bang Bang.

We've all met her before. Approximately, I'd say, 10 months ago, she was on the show. and she is a inventor-slash small businesswoman. Please welcome back to the show, Entre P. Neuer. It's a pleasure. Thank you so much for returning. Well, thank you for having me back. I got some more ideas and...

Last time you were on the show, you had a lot of business ideas. Absolutely. It's in my name, baby. It's in my name. Did we ever crack whether you were... You've changed your name because you have so many ideas and you're an entrepreneur or you were named that... Well, would I change my name too?

Well, from something else to Andre P. No. I'm not suggesting you change your name from entre P. Nure to small business woman. Scott, do me a solid and call me by my name. I will definitely give you that Timothy Shalamee treatment here. Big fan of his. The opposite. I'm sorry. The opposite of Timothy Shalachian. Big fan of his. 360.

You're a big fan of his. If it's the opposite, wouldn't it be 180? It would be a 180, but I'm going to. to come right back around. Back around? Okay. My friend started the management 360 management group, and I always would joke that your career will end exactly where you came in. They have some successful actors over there.

They do. They do. Not me anymore. Oh, did you leave? They were too successful. They dropped you. They did not drop me, but I, they... Let's get into it. Around when they started having the Renee Zelliger's and Reese Witherspoons of the world, and game of...

They started Game of Thrones and all. that. I realized that I was not fitting in with their clients. I understand what you're saying. Just stop answering the calls a little bit. I love them over there. I understand. You're not a thick white woman with blonde hairs, what you're trying to say. So I don't know necessarily if they're thick. I mean, what do you think? Well, Renee is thick. I, I, I, my friend Wilhelmina, she, uh, she described thick as having big boobs, tiny waist, big butt. Oh, that bitch, Willemina. I know that bitch. Uh, yeah, you know what? She's right. Right. She's right. But, you know, thick comes in different varieties. You could be slim thick.

Slim thick. I think Renee might be slim thick. Okay. What is slim thick to you? Slim thick is a big butt, small waist, big titties, but. No, she went in the opposite orders. You got the order mix. Thank you. Thank you. She went down. You went. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, understand. But on a small frame. Does that make sense? That makes sense. So normal thick is on a big frame?

Yes. Or medium frame? A medium frame. Okay. Because a big frame would be thick, thick. Okay. So what if someone has a small frame and big boobies, as they say, and small waist, but then no but? That is unfortunate. That's what we would describe. You know what? No body shaming, Scott. This is a trap. I'm not shaming.

You said it was unfortunate. This is a trap. This is a trap. Help. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Look, Andre, you... Delete that. This is not going to help your business.

No, okay. Andre, last time you were on the show, the ninth anniversary show, as I recall, you pitched a lot of businesses to us. I remember one of them was a like a rectangular, motorized propulsion vehicle. Sure, several, two to even seven people could ride in one of them. Right, and there would be the oldest invention in the world, the wheel, that the caveman banged out with his bone. Right. There would be approximately four of those on. Right, on the underbelly.

On the undercarriage, yeah. On the belly. Undercarriage, underbelly. On the taint of the car. On the gooch meat of the car. And then we all realize you were just pitching car. And in fact, you called it a car just now so you know what a car is. I've never heard of it.

Never heard of it. Never heard of it. I don't have a name for it just yet. I've heard. You've called it a car. I don't have. I don't have a name for it just yet. But when I was describing it to some colleagues, they had used the word cause.

So I thought, that's not a bad name. It's a shirt and sweet, to the point. That's not a bad name. I'm going to say, most of those three-letter words are already taken. You know what I mean? Like, find any combination of three words, it usually means something already. It's true. Hats, box.

A bat. Bat. I mean, all these are. Can. They're all great words and they're things that we use all the time. They're taken. And they're all taken. They're all taken.

So if you're out there trying to come up with a new invention, it's like, what do you got. Right, right. Well, I do want to talk to you about something I have also come up with, because I'm interested in investing. So Langston, if you are interested in investing. I am an investor. Langston is so rich that he doesn't even know if he joined the WGA. It's meaningless to me. Yes. Those dues. Who cares? Write a check, forget about it immediately. Disgusting. Listen, I, this is, this, now this, hear me out on this one. I'm losing. We're all ears. We're all very excited. It was a cubicle, a cubicle type building. So a cube meaning equal on all sides, all eight sides? Or is it six sides? Six sides. Six sides. Six sides.

Six sides. Has the Fuji set? Yes, that's the Fuji set. Three times. A cubicle type building where if you're not feeling well, you can go, there will be people there who can assist you in regaining health. Determine what it is that's wrong with you and then give you the proper kind of treatment

that you would need to be healthy again. Okay, I'm going to stop you really briefly. Now, hear me out. Oh, I'm not going to stop you. Okay, go ahead. It's going and stop me. White man's slain me. I'm not white man splaining at all.

I'm merely... I know the fans love when I talk about race. I'm just I'm person-splaining Okay, yeah, just two people talking Just I let me person-splain to you That everything you've described Other than the cubical nature of the building

Which most buildings are not purely cubical Huh Interesting Sometimes they're more What you would call a three-dimensional rectangle But it sounds to me as if you're describing A hospital that I was thinking

I don't I don't what is that I haven't heard of it it's a building normally not cubicle okay I just ain't a rhombus

okay could be a rhombus how that look thank you for asking it's it's sort of like what you were describing but at an angle

a little tilted but more I think the more important part is that it's almost identical to what you described of a space where people go

to get health care. Right. Okay. Yeah, the shape of the building normally doesn't matter, although I would say the bottom usually has to be flat. Flat, yeah. Yeah, usually so. The thing I want to do certainly has a flat bottom.

I would say it has a flat bottom. And that's not thick. No, no, no. It's not thick. It's unfortunate. It's unfortunate. The bottom of, yeah, the bottom of what I'm doing, it's unfortunate. Most buildings, they have a bottom side, too.

so you're not falling to the center of the earth. And the building is going to have a slim waist. Right. Big booms. Big titties on top. It's going to be a thick building. Don't understand. It's going to have to contain a lot of people.

Okay. Because people are falling ill left and right. Yeah, they are. Tell me if I'm wrong. Tell me again, I'm trying to tell me I'm wrong with that. You have found a market. Okay. Definitely.

But it is a market that is primarily going to these places called hospitals. I've never heard of that. You've never been to one. How can I? I beat is something I haven't heard of. Have you ever been sick before? Sure. And what happens?

What do you do? What's your process? Well, first, I look myself in the mirror. You look yourself in the mirror is the first step. I look myself in the mirror. You have a good laugh because laughter is the best medicine. You understand? That's what I've been doing.

And that's what they've been saying for ages. And I think, what if medicine was the best medicine. That's what I'm trying to say. But what I do, when I fall. ill is I look myself in the mirror and I say is this really happening why me and then you you're you think that this may be like a simulation or something where it's not really happening and you're it's like the matrix where suddenly someone's going to red pill you by the way I'd love to red pill you before we sure what does it mean to red pill someone well I it's taking on some poor connotations

lately but yeah yeah because I actually didn't know I was just yes-anding my way through somebody bang bang more sexual than we expected and what is that and we're going to red pill you by the end of the show is that what happens you can look it up after the show but okay never heard of that never heard of that don't let someone do it to you okay um but uh uh what were we talking about oh yeah do you think it's like the matrix where you're where you know you have a different body somewhere else and it's not really happening i've never seen the matrix oh really i've never seen it but um uh i do i do wonder when i when i fall ill and i start to feel weak in the knees. I say to myself, is this real? Is it real? Is it real? How do you determine if it is or not? Well, then I touch the mirror and I say, okay, we're here. We're here. We're dealing with this. You're touching something in your physical proximity to, it might be a dream. It might be. Right, right. So maybe if the Matrix is a dream, maybe I thought I was in it. But I haven't seen it to say one way or the other. Matrix isn't really, I wouldn't call it a dream, Langston, right? No, it's, it's more of a

a mental, mental digital stimulation. Although when you say digital stimulation, that also has some connotations. This show is very sexual. I'm horny. Well, speaking of, it's 10 in the morning. I'm horny. Speaking of horny, speaking of horn.

Yes. I have another invention. I'd like, if y'all don't want to invest in the cube-like treatment center. Why is the cube part of it so integral to? Well, I'm learning new shapes. now. You told me rectangle, you told me arumbus. Arambis. Okay. Understood.

Roomba is something that would clean up your hospital. Oh, okay. Well, I... But she doesn't recognize as a name. I don't know what that is. You don't know what a Roomba is? What's your new invention? My new invention is for horny people. Okay.

Horned men. It's a... It's like a balloon. You've cut your market in half immediately. You said horny people and then horny men. Well, because it's particular. Okay. It's like a balloon. Okay. You would put atop your little man to protect you from diseases so you don't have to go to the cube. So I'm also kind of undercutting my own business.

Yeah, like if you really wanted, and I think, by the way, what you're mentioning is a condom. What is that? That is a latex or if you're allergic to latex, perhaps. Lamb skin. Lamb skin protective covering for your little man. Okay. Or big man, depending on how horny you are. And who you are.

How thick you are. You know how it grows, then change his shape, depending on horny love. Yeah, you know, change of shape. Change his shape. You can do a rhombus sometimes. A change of shape. Okay. And it protects your man and also protects the recipient of your lovemaking from any secretions that may come out of the, what I call the cyclops hole at the very, very tippy tin.

You call the pussy a cyclops. Oh, no. Oh, you mean the head, the penis head. The penis head has a little obular. Oh, the cyclops. I see. I've never seen a pincis. You've never seen one?

Never seen them. I've heard of them. Wait, but... These I've heard of. You already planned an invention despite not having seen it. I've heard of them, though. I have male friends. I've heard of them.

And you're an older woman, and you've had relationships with women than your whole life for with... No, I've had relationships with men. Oh, but you just have never gone downtown. Platonic. Yeah, no, I don't go downtown, and they don't visit me there either. Would you say, would you say, would you? Which base, which base have you gone? Visited, yeah.

Home base. Home base. And what do you consider to be home base in a relationship with a man? A phone call. Where they call you or you call them? A phone. We, we've, uh, they called me. They call you.

Okay. So you calling them is what, third base? That's, that, that's a lady, yes. Okay. As a lady that's really putting myself. Yeah, that's third. Right. But them calling you back.

If they call me back, that is a home run. That's a home run. home run. That's what we call a home run where I'm from. Okay, so you don't know a lot about sex. What gave you an interest in the topic? In the topic of sex? Well, because I'm hearing a lot of people are having it. I've heard a lot of people. That's a lot of people's favorite thing to do.

Which is strange to me. There's so many other activities you can find yourself involved in. What do you do on a day-to-day basis? You get up, you touch the mirror. And what does Entree Pee newer do after that? That's only if I feel ill. If you don't feel ill, you never touch the mirror. I would never touch a mirror if I don't feel ill.

Okay. gets all those fingy prints on it exactly but speaking of fingy prints I have another oh are y'all gonna invest are you just gonna let me tell you my ideas and then steal them that's probably gonna be a pass on the first two for me because they exist already I'm here for it I'm here I don't have I don't quite hear the product that I'm ready to invest in what are you looking for I'm excited to hear this finger fingerprint thing that you we all have them we all have about 10 of them yeah this feels hot so So you touch a mirror.

You touch things. Your fingerprints are on them. I have come up with a liquid. Blue in nature could be clear. I haven't decided that part just yet where you can put the liquid upon the surface where your fingerprints have left the mark and wipe. You understand? And wipe the fingerprints off. Off.

Okay. At first I thought you were talking about luminal, which would. make the fingerprints light up in blacklight. But now I think you're talking about Windex. I don't, I've never heard. You're telling me things I haven't heard of. You understand? I don't know what that.

What if they combine both of those into one product? Now there's something where if like you have just committed a crime. And I know I'm walking your side of the street now. Sure. Coming up with inventions. Crime side? No, I mean invention side. I'm not saying you're a criminal.

Okay. But you've just committed a crime. You've murdered someone in their hotel room. And then you're like, I don't know if I left any fingerprints. Where did I put my hands? You spray the room with this luminal windex contraption. It lights up the fingerprints and you can wipe them off because of the windex.

There it is. This sounds idiotic. It's something that doesn't exist yet. I don't usually cuss, but this sounds freaking stupid. Is that a home base of cussing for his? This is freaking stupid. I excuse my. I'll be honest.

I actually, I'm very into what Scott said. Well, then why don't y'all go? I'll give you, all I need is about $5 million for 10% investment. Ah, that's my WGA dudes. I'm not allowed to go on Shark Tank. You're not allowed? They banned me. I'm banned from Shark Tank.

Because you went on already or because you have been trying to get on? I've been trying to get on. And they're telling me, oh, we got, we, cars, cars, hospitals. They say these words to me. No, and they're saying them to me. And I'm like, I don't know what that is. I'm coming to you as an entrepreneur, in fact, my name, with ideas. Yeah.

And now y'all want to tell me they already exist. And you know why they want to tell me they already exist? They want to tell me that because they want to take my ideas and claim they already exist. That's not what's happening here. But why would Mr. Wonderful treat you that way? I just think that what you said, Luminal, Windex combination is freaking stupid. What would the combo name be, Luminex? Luminx.

I like that. Oh, so is this about y'all name? I think I have an investor on the hook here. I'm really excited about this option. I'm sorry. And if we use condoms, you know where the seam in it. What are those? What are those?

Well, the balloons you mentioned earlier. The balloons for the little man. Yeah, if you go in there to murder someone and you put on a condom, nothing's leaking out the front end. Even if you don't plan on come in any sexual. No, just in case. You might be horny. You might be in there horny.

You never know what state you're going to get in after you kill someone. It might be so euphoric that suddenly you're so. sitting there with an erection that just pops off. Look, I'm gonna, I wanna, look, no, no, I don't like that you took something I brought to you. I brought, I brought, I brought the liquid that will come. But this, it's a lot like writing for the Oscars, you know, I mean, you said something which led us to a better idea. And that's what we did with, yeah, it's a group thing here. Okay.

And no matter, you know, I mean, I can't say that you're going to get paid exactly the same as, as me or Langston here on this. but that's what happens in life. Now, okay, well, here's the thing. I have another idea. Oh, you do. Okay, one more, and then we have to go to break, and then we have a special surprise. Okay, okay.

You have one more idea. Okay, yes. So we all watch movies. I do know those, seem, knows, heard of those. Sure, because I think, didn't we mention one? I wasn't listening because when people talk, usually, and I'm not involved in the conversation, I plug my ears. Oh, yeah.

I've been wondering what you're doing there with your finger. because I don't want anyone to think. I thought you were trying to leave fingerprints inside your ear holes. No, no, no. They won't stick there because I clean out my ears with another invention now to mention on another day. Okay, I'm sure it's like a stick with a little bit of cotton on the ends. Anyway, go ahead. Have you been in my lap?

You've been in my lab. Oh, Lord. Okay. So my next invention is something for entertainment purposes. Okay. You know what a movie is. This is not going to be something. No.

That would be for. It would be freaking ridiculous, and I hate to curse in front of me. People have been making movies since the 90s. Since the train coming, well, way before then, maybe the 1890s. Oh, I don't know, Scott. You need to check your history books. It's not really in a lot of history books, I got to admit. They sort of gloss over there.

The 90s, I'd say, 19. But ever since that train coming right at the audience, which made them all scream and go, ah, so there's a train loose in the theater. They all ran out. That's an, I don't know this story. It's one of the earliest movies. Really? That just scared everyone, and I hate to curse as well, but spitless.

I don't like when you use that word. I'm so sorry, that's the third base of cursing. I don't like when you use that word. I'm going to just tell you that much. But I know, look, I know I have only one chance to say this last idea. You know, we all know movies. It's not that. It's not.

Of course not. We all know. You know movies. I know movies. Okay. So there's so many of them. Several coming out every year. Seems like every day there's some new movie.

Of course, and they got streaming services. They got... You know about those. I know those. I know those. I'm not a freaking idiot. Okay. Calm down.

You are very savvy. Yeah, you're salty today as well. I am salty. I am salty. So I want to have a thing where people can gather to kind of critique movies, maybe offer some type of recognition for movies. convene in a cubicle type space dress to the nines

to the night are we talking tuxedos uh tuxedos sure you know what those are good gowns i've heard of them and then somebody present them with recognition for the films what would the award look like would it have would it be thick it would be i would say it would be a thin Thin bottomed, thin bottomed.

Unfortunate. Unfortunate. Unfortunate. Unfortunate. Small framed. Small frames. But tiny waist. Tiny waste.

And we would call it Oscar so white. Okay. You were not plugging your ears during the first part of the show because I'll be honest. Any true inventor has to keep their air to the street. Then why are you plugging them so often? Because I don't want to, because I want to hear just enough to inspire me, understand? Right. So you listened to the entire conversation that we had

and you just repeated back everything that we said. Yeah, because that was 2016. I've never heard of that. 2016? You've heard of the 90s and now. And now. Only things that matter. All right.

Look, we need to take a break. But when we come back, this is very exciting. You brought a relative of yours. I did. With you. We mentioned him in the last show. My brother. Your brother, when we come back, your brother is here.

And he's going to tell us all about whatever he has going on. Yeah. This is exciting. He's busy. He's very busy. All right, we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we'll have more Langston-Kerman, more Entrey P. Neuer, and her brother will be here. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang-Bang after this.

Comedy Bang-Bang, we are back here, Langston Kerman, a stand-up comedian extraordinaire. He's still pumping his fist. He's so excited to be here. I love this. This is great. We also have Entree P. Neuer, who is back. By the way, that's spelled Entree P.E.E.E. I think, right? Any you are.

You don't remember? How often am I putting my middle name on forms? I mean, you're a lot like Langston's character over here, Gerard or whatever it was. Jared, but who knows? Yeah, who knows that's spelled. When you signed in for the audition or you reading your sides to rehearse for the scenes. Or does it just say person? Yeah, that's what I'm curious.

You know what it is. You know a lot about acting. You know sides? I know enough about, on my way in here, I heard some actors. talking. Oh, okay. What were they talking about? I want this part.

They were talking about audition, same day, self-tapes, things like that. I'm offer only, that's right? Offer only. That's what, after you left 360, right? Yeah, that's, I was like, offer only. And they're like, guess what? You're fired. We're done with you.

You're not a thick white woman. That's what they said. Welcome back to the show. And this is very exciting. We mentioned him the last time you were on the show that you had a brother. Right. And we don't know what he does or what his life is like, but I'm here to interview him. But you brought him.

We asked you to bring him here. Okay. And it took, I had to get in touch with him. I had to. That's usually the first step in trying to relay any kind of information with anyone. Are you guys estranged? No, we are not as strange. Successful people don't have time for each other.

I think that we all know that, right? Yeah, that's the excuse that I give. It's all my friends. I'm successful. You're successful, I'm successful. Let's just end it here. Enough said. So it took some work to get in touch with him.

He has several assistants. He has several assistants coming up with a lot of, I don't want to paint him into a corner now. Sure, you don't want to tell us too much about his life. I've been there before, painted into a corner on the show. Yes. That's right. Excuse me, not me, entrepineur. I know a friend that was painted into a corner.

Which friend was. was that um dialect coach darlington castle oh yeah that was a very unusual episode painted deep into a corner that was couldn't make sense of the shit that was like yes and here's what you are and and and and and and how about this so i won't paint him into a corner but he has several assistance a lot of business ideas we're not as strange but again successful people don't particularly have sure so you don't you may not even know what he's been up to recently i don't but i know whatever it is it's gonna be good okay well he's here to tell us everything about himself. We mentioned him on the last time you were on the show, and we begged you to bring him here,

and he's here today. Please welcome to the show. Appetizer, P. Neuer. Thank you for having me. It is not good. Things are not okay. Things are not okay. They are not okay.

Wait a minute. I thought she's successful. You're successful? You thought that. But you thought wrong. He has so many assistants. And when he says thought wrong, he means T-H-O-T. You thought wrong, Scott.

Is that hoe over there? Scotty, Thottie. Scotty Thottie, you mind if I call you that. I sweat. Scotty what? Scottie Thottie? Sure.

You mind if I say that to you, Scotty. It makes you comfortable, sure. Have a ball. Things are not good, Scott. Things are not good. Oh, Lord. Oh, you see. Appetizer P. Neuer.

Appetizer P. Neuer. Yes, that's right. My mother. My newer. Oh, how I love. of manure. Manure. Manure.

Manure. What field was she in? Manure. What field was manure in? Gardening. Gardening. Okay. Was she sick?

And Andre ain't came to see her. Oh, you guys are estranged. We are. No. I wouldn't say that. I'm busy. I would you. We're not estranged.

I'm busy. A strange. She didn't even know that manure was sick. Manua was sick. Throwing up all over the blizzard. Listen, let me tell you, it smells bad. You didn't know. I heard.

You heard about this. On our way here, he told me some. Oh, no. I've been taking care of my newer. And I had to move back home. I had to quit all my jobs. I didn't mention to you that my brother, an appetizer here. Before he found his true calling in life, he attempted to be a pastor.

Oh, you did. Okay. So that's what you have a certain. Cadence. It's a Martin Luther King sort of vibe. I attempted to be a pastor, but I couldn't do it because I started worshiping the devil. Oh, well, that would get in the way. How did you end up with the devil?

It seems that people at Baptist churches don't like talking about the devil. Yeah. But I tried to convert them. You were actively trying to convert Christians into Satanism. That's right, Scott and thought it. That's right. I tried, I tried, and I tried. What was it about the devil for you that you like so much?

Boy, have you ever seen the devil in a pair of dunger reeves? Low-rise jeans. Oh, David Bunkut, low-rise jeans. So you guys are not estranged? I would not say we're estranged. I would not say. And you don't like that. I would not say.

I don't know what you're referring to, Scotty-Thuddy-D-D. I'm thinking of someone else. I would not say that we're estranged. And I have seen the devil in a pair of boot-cut jeans. The devil is thick. Oh, Navy Low-Rise boot-cut jeans. So the devil is thick. He's got big bud, little tiny waist, big tities.

Yeah, big tities. He's got that horned tail as well. That only adds to it, I know. He's got that triangle we were talking about at the end of his tail. He plays it. It plays a sweet sound. Scotty, Thaddy. Yeah.

What do you mean by that? The triangle on his tail. Ring a ding, ding, ding. A lot of people thought when the devil went down to Georgia, he wouldn't be playing the fiddle like an electric guitar. He'd be playing his triangle on his tail, you know? But it didn't sound as good on the record. The original demo.

Appetit, how is Mama doing? Manua is not doing well. And you haven't come to check on her. You haven't come to see her. And you left me there. What does she have? What does Manua have? Yes.

Stop. Repeat the question. Stop. Manua has an old bad disease. She has the jaundice. Oh. She's turning a yellowish color? She has theitis.

What did she eat? Something you made? Yes, I cooked for it one time and I gave her the idias. I didn't know Iitis was that bad of a disease. Oh, it is. It is Langster. You know, I had a friend named Langston once. You did.

Hughes. Who was that? No, not Langston Hughes. Langston, Hardin a Brigg. He worshipped the devil with me. So you guys were like two peas and a pod. Two peas and a devil's pod. We called it a devil's triangle.

Oh, really? I think I heard about that recently, the devil's triangle. It's the Illuminati. No, that's not. I think it's a drinking game. Yeah, it's a different thing. Oh, never heard of drinking. So you quit all of your jobs to take care of your mother.

What were your jobs? I had dreams too, Scotty Thaddy. I had dreams. I wanted to live up to the family name as Andre did. Right, the newer name. The newer name. I wanted to live up to the newer name. You see, I had some inventions myself.

You did. You were an inventor. Imagine this, Scotty, Faddy. Imagine this. You're walking to a restaurant. and you want to wet your whistle. Sure. So you get a glass of water.

Okay. You want to eat something. Right. But you're not ready for what your main course yet. You're not ready to make the commitment into like a big plate. No. Okay. You want like a salad.

Sure. Or some jalapeno popas. Please don't start describing small plates to me because that's the worst thing about dining in L.A. is every single restaurant wants to explain the concept of small plates to you. I wish I had amnesia sometimes. That's called tapas. That's not what he's going to. He's not doing that.

He's never been to Spain, Scott. So you know where they come from. Topas? That's not what I'm talking about. Okay. What are you talking about? I call these bottomers. Oh.

Bottamas. I'm getting my wallet out. That's exciting. Get your wallet out. Bottomers. Bottomas. So these are like big bottomers. Not to be mistaken for gay men who bought them.

Excuse me? Now you know I am a Satanist man You don't like that kind of language So I believe in that full heart All right So are these big bottomers? These are big bottomers I like big bottomers

I cannot lie to this guy Please don't lie to me I would do not want to doubt the veracity Of what you're telling me But I can't talk about this stuff no more Because all it does is make me sad Because all I got to do is sit at home And take care of manure

Amputas Please tell them about the Tell them about the inventions Maybe these men have money. Can I ask what is the biggest difference between a tapas and a bottomless? I'm going to tell you right now, Langston. I had a friend named Lexington once. Yeah, we've well-trod territory.

Langston, a tapas. When you're eating tapas, you're in Barcelona. You're in Barcelona. Sure. You got to say it correctly. Sure, sure. Please get to the point. It seems like you're stalling.

Tiny little tacos That's what He's been spending time With my Manua Manua don't talk much Kind of Oh borderline

inanimate This our mother Right Don't talk about our mother Like that I mean She's like a wax figure She smells like shit

Right Yeah Wait That that's The furthest You've gone With curse words Yeah

That's like you That's like you That's like you Went all the way Around to home base And then decide To go over to first That is not a curse word

It had one syllable It's not a curse word I can't believe you would say something so cruel and crowd to our mother like that. Cruel and crowd? Crowd. C-R-O-W-D. C-R-O-U-D, look it up. Prud?

It's in a book that I invented. It has a bunch of words in it. And I give you the definition. It just has all the words that you know. Yes. How many words are in this thing? 200. Okay.

So crud is pronounced crowd. crowd and it means crude. Yes. Okay. Got it. Okay. So this is a very useful book. Get it.

You can download it on Amazon. You can download it on Yahoo Books. And you can also go to old navy.com and get your bare Old Navy LoRides, Buggy. And is this book similar to a dictionary? What you say? You know, I had a friend named next to one. You did mention that. Is it similar to a dictionary?

Dictionary. Yeah, what's it called? App. Have you heard of it? I have never heard of a dictionary you call it. Sounds like something I don't like. Spell it. Spell it.

Okay. Now you're challenging me in a way that I don't care for. You can spell. D I C. Stop right there. Okay. D-I-C. Let's break that word down.

It's not a word. It's merely the first syllable, but go ahead. D. Damn. I. I. Damn I. See.

Coming. Damn I coming. Okay. Okay. And why did you do that and what? To what end? What were we breaking that down for? Listen.

Don't cry. Don't. I just keep in the end of this. There's too much emotions going on right now. Don't crowd him. Don't crowd him. Don't be crowd to me. Don't be crowd.

See, I heard O-U-D He's coming Scotty fatty, damn I'm coming Okay, you're obviously very emotional Do you have a towel? I think you need to A towel I have many towels here

When you cry you want a towel Because damn I'm coming No, it's the coming He needed a time Yeah, okay God you're obviously very emotional about this whole situation Your mother is ill

It is very hard on me You've quit all your jobs I want to hear about more of your old jobs But we need to take another break So when we come back I want to talk to you about all of your old jobs. You'd have several, from what I understand. I've had several jobs.

I'll tell you about all of them. Tell about all of them. We're going to be right back with more Langston-Kerman, more Entree P. Neuer, and more appetizer P. Neuer after this. Comedy Bang-Bang, we're back with Langston Kerman, a stand-up comedian and on the HBO show Insecure and a writer in the WGA. We also have Antre Pinoor, who is an inventor, who, how much money have you ever made from any of your inventions? Over $50.

Wow. What are we talking? 51, 51, 52, 53, stop me, prices right style. 54, 55, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60. It was 60. $60. So I could have just said 60, right? I mean, you could have.

I could have, but I said over. You played it coy. I like that. Because I want to be modest. That's all that is. We also have, speaking of modest, we have someone who comes from modest means, it doesn't seem to be making any money currently. He's quit all of his jobs.

Appetizer P. Neuer is here? Inventions have never been my thing. They've always been on trades. Yeah, although you have mentioned several you've thought of. I thought of them, but I didn't put them into action. Right. Because, you know, I let her stay in her lane. Sure.

Would you say you allow her to stay in her lane? How nice of you? Would you say you lack initiative? Is that the issue? Initiative. Let's break that word down. All right. What do we got?

Spell it out for me, Lexington. You don't have a friend named Lexington one. It's I in. He didn't say stop. I. T. Stop right there. Okay.

I-N-I-T. I. Let's break that down. I'm T. N. You forgot the end. I skipped a few. I'm trying.

I'm not. starting backwards, it going in and out like a heart. Okay. I. In. In. I know what's I. I.

I is I. N. Never. I never. I. I. In. I never in.

T. Thought. I never in thought. I don't think about much. I never in thought. I never in thought. Okay. So you're, you're, you're, you, you, you live by impulse.

Because I have to live by impulse because at any moment my mother could die of the idas. Right. And yet you're here. Who's taking care of her right now? Right now? Sure, right now. The one assistant who is still an intern after 23 years. Oh, what are your old jobs?

What did you do for a living? Oh, Scott, but I told you I was a pastor. You were a pastor and then you got kicked out of the church for encouraging Satanism. And then what of you, what's the time span between that and now? Okay, that was 19. Sixty-eight. Nineteen sixty-eight. Okay, so we're talking 50 years, 51 years at this point.

I took the place of a former pastor who unfortunately had to leave the church. What happened to the pastor? He was shot. He was shot. Oh. Could he use some of that Luminal Windex, Luminex? Yeah, Luminex. You're not making that, because unless I agree to give you my...

Yeah, I think Luminex already exists as well, I think. Not the actual product, but I think there is something called Luminex. I'm going to look it up. Are you Googling? I'm Googling Luminate. Oh, you know what Google is. Who doesn't know Google? Do your Google, Scotty, Fattie.

Do your Googles. Wait, the pastor, you were playing? Uh-huh. Did he, did, who shot this pastor? No, that we don't know. Who shot you? That we don't know. Tupac and a biggie.

You like music. Well, you know, it soothes the savage bread. Oh, it's savage breasts. Yeah, the, you know, big titties, small waist, big butt, yeah. Okay, now. So between 1968, which predated the Summer of Love, Woodstock, of course, 1969, the summer of 69. Woodstock's New York and I was there. You were there at Woodstock.

Did you see Sean Anah? I did see Sean Anoff, and I saw everybody else that performed. So, everyone. Jefferson Airplane. Sure. Sean Anah. Yeah. From Jefferson Airplane to Sean Anah, everyone at Woodstock.

Jimmy Hendricks. Sure. He said his, uh, his, uh, I'm testing you. He said his, uh... What do he mean? What did he say? What did he set on fire? Oh, he said his guitar on fire.

Oh, okay. You were there, he checks out. He was there. Who else performed? Orleans. Orleans, who sang. They debuted a new song called Dance with me. It became a hit.

And I told him it was going to be a hit. Didn't Orleans sing, you're still the way. one they did make me smile they did sing that at woodstock they didn't sing that one they hadn't written that one yet okay when you were at woods stock is is that where you found satan yes that is it and i came back and i said church church i got something to show you at this point he was just in the house with me and my mother right and i lifted up my pastor's robe and revealed my old navy low-rise boot cut jean

Okay. And then, okay, it's a very confusing tale. But what jobs have you had in between them? I'm getting to that. I'm getting to that. Long winded like a pastor. And jumping around timelines, very inconsistent in years. Cut the 1971.

That's when they kicked me out of the church. After 1969 and 1971, I preached Satanism. And they gave me a chance. Okay. But then they stopped. So they heard you out. They heard me out. After one time, as the Fuji said, they would probably say, hey, you got to get out.

Fugis fan, I take it. Well, I like that one song. One song. Okay. 1971. I got a job at a local upstart called Taco Bell. Oh, okay.

Yeah, this was a newish company at the time. Yeah, I'd only been around for about five years at the time. Okay. And a little run for the border. We'll run for the border. A little fifth meal. Midnight snack is what you call it. Late night.

But I, I got a job there in 1971 and 1974 and then I got kicked out because I started preaching the word of Satan At Taco Bell I started saying What if we had things like

Chalupas and nacho cheese Gordita And rattlesnake fries That's Satanism? Satan always eats his french fries Covered in rattlesnakes And they said that'll never work Now look at where we are 47 years later.

They had chalupas. Nacho cheese, gorditas. And rattlesnake fry. I don't know what a rattlesnake fry is, I guess. It's a nach fries covered in a Chipotle sauce and jalapeno. Sort of a Texas-Mexico combination? Almost. But I gave them that idea years ago.

Hmm. But in the service of Satan. In the service of Satan. 1974 to 1980. So you were off work between, no, no, 71 to 74, 74 through 80, where are you? I was the backup guitarist for the Eagles. You were a backup guitarist because they have like three who were there in the Eagles themselves. I believe Don Henley.

No, he was a drummer. But you have Joe Walsh is one of the guitarists. You have Glenn Fry and then Timothy B. Schmidt, isn't he? Timothy B. Schmidt, he played the bass. He was the bass. He came after me. He came from the band Pogo. So you were there, then, the third guitarist, the fourth guitarist?

That was the fourth lead guitar. And what are some of the licks that you would play? D. That's in what, Hotel California? All right. You want to know what lick I got on? Yeah, what did you do? If you listen to the song, Life in the Fast Lake.

Sure. It goes, banalina-le-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-n-l-cun-cun-cun-kk. No, I didn't play on that one. None of those. Okay. The song called One of These Nights. Okay. one of these

one of these nights In the beginning it goes Bowen do click Bowton duty click Okay

that was me That was you Wow I love that Me and Joe Walsh Playing in Sweet Harmony Wow And what happened

With the Eagles Well see I started to preach Satanism to them I would think That you know With Hotel California Being a metaphor

For hell Yeah they were into The whole time They loved it And then in 1980 They were like It's the 80s now We can't be doing

this no more Okay. I'll be honest, it really sounds like Satan was the downfall to a lot of your opportunities. I don't understand your life. Only thing Satan has ever done is keep me in old Navy low-rise boot cut jeans. That sounds bad. Even that, it doesn't sound like a great pair of jeans. I'll be honest.

Oh, no. Watch me stand up. Look here, Langston. My God. This is called my tramp stamp. Oh! Right above my thought slot. Look at that.

What is that? What kind of picture is that? That there is former president Rutherford B. Hayes. Oh, wow. Okay. Why that? Because I went to Rutherford B. Hayes High School. Oh, okay.

That makes sense. So you want any time that you're like, well, I guess I don't know what you're into. Being made love to, I think is appropriate. Sure, yeah. If you're being made love to from behind in that manner, then people are staring at a picture of Rutherby. A bottomer. Yeah, if you're a bottomer. My brother being a bottomer.

So your brother's a bottoma and you're sort of asexual. I'm sure. Asexual. I talk on the phone. Yeah, she talks on the phone. She's gone home. You're getting called. You're calling.

I talk on the phone. Yeah. So an interesting life that you guys have together. From 1980. Sure. Through 1993. Okay. Wow.

We're getting them all. I didn't work. Didn't work at all. How did you get? Everything. Scotty, buddy. How did you get money? How did I get money at that time?

Sure. Every question doesn't do. to be repeated. He's stalling. I just want to make sure. He's stalling. This is his downfall. This is his, I'm going to, you know what?

We have been estranged. I'm a very old man. Plot twist. You do like it. Plot twist. I'm a very old man. I can't hear as clear. But I won't respond.

But you're repeating it back exactly. I'm just trying to make sure you said, what you said. Got it thought it. Plot twist. You are estranged. Yeah, because. And you like it. That's a good song.

From 1980s and 1993, I must admit I was living off of my sister's fortunes. Yes. And I asked him, I said, your calling is in your name. Your calling is in your name. Appetizer P. Neur. What do you think his calling is? Working in the restaurant industry. Absolutely.

And he refused. I refuse. Do you think that kind of work is below you or something? Beneath me. Beneath you. Beneath you. cut jean. You don't want to do that.

But above your thought slot. Above my thought. In between. Where is it in relation to Rutherford B. Hayes? Beneath, Rutherford. Beneath, but above the hot slot? Okay. So that's a very narrow window that we're working in.

It doesn't seem like it's a lot of space at all. Yeah. So you just couldn't fit it back there. Couldn't fit it. And then 1993. Must to quit it. In 1993. 193, which I believe was pre-O-J.

Pre-O-J. I, along with O.J. Simpson, directed MC Hammer's pumps-in-a-bump video. So this is how we're contextualizing it for you listeners out there. MC Hammer, by the way, also maybe have the Adams family groove around this time. Around that time, I didn't direct that one. Okay, okay. And did you meet O.J. through Satanism? Is that?

No. No, okay. I met O.J. at a former NFL. players lunching. I was there. What were you doing there? I was taking food out of the trash can behind the place. Embarrassing for me because I was trying to pitch these people business.

You were trying to bitch. And then there is my brother taking food out the trash camp. I had to eat. Yeah. Were you only taking like jalapeno poppers and chicken strips? Absolutely. Yeah. That's what they serve at one of those things.

And OJ came outside to do a quick bump of cocaine. Oh, quick. And he said, hey, what are you doing over there? And I said, I'm just trying to get my Edo and play it. And he understood and he was like, hey, how about a job? Yep. We should hang out and direct a music video together. Yes.

Wow. So you directed that. Wow. He directed MC Hammers, Pumps at a bump. Pumps in a bump. So that must have then given you enough money to live for a little while, at least. About 30 days. 30 days.

Yes, I blew it all at the casino with O.J. In Las Vegas where he was there selling all of his memorabilia to a group of men. So he had been on that train for pre-the-murters. He played a long game in that one. Wow. And see, when we got back, this is a year later when we got back, he said I have to stop in my house real quick. He said, wait, you were in the Bronco? What?

Not in the Bronco that night. I had ridden in the Bronco before. That night I was following him in my own car. You were in your own car. He stopped off. He said, I got to stop. You should follow me and wait outside in order for me to go inside and do it. The thing is I had too much pride to ride in the car with him.

I told him I brought my own car. It was a nice, tiny, yellow and red, play school, pedal car. And that's what I'm telling you. I had invented something different. Oh, so you had invented a car. What kind of car did he just describe? You're still calling you a car. Because I'm trying to speak to y'all in the way, you idiots will understand.

You're stupid. What did you describe appetizer? No, no, no, no. We're going backwards. No, no, I'm telling you what car I was describing. 1984, yellow and red, play school, push car. See, so when I said I came up with my invention, this is what we had been driving around it. Oh, I see.

So you had been in something akin to it. A kin, but I had put an engine and things and such. You were like, hey, let's improve on this. Right, right. They've been akin to it. Legs are kimbo. So now you... Legs of Kimbo.

You saw O.J. go into... Did he come back out after the errands that he? He came back out with a bag. And he said, all right, I got to get to the airport. Okay. And I said, okay. You want me to drive you there? He was like, no, I can't fit in your car.

And I was like, oh, OJ. And then he... What a tale. So I didn't mention what was in the bag, did he say? No. It was his travel bag. He told me, I knew he had to travel. Yeah, when you go on a bag,

You tell people what's in your back. You know what? You're right. I'm being unreasonable. Please finish the story. You know I had a friend named Langston once. Yeah, we know. It was also unreasonable. So then from 1992 or three... This is 1994.

Okay, 94, right. So you're sending me back. Okay, sorry, sorry. 94 to now. 94 to 2001. Okay. Seven-year stretch. Yes.

I drove... I basically became a taxi service. Okay. But you're not in an official taxi? Not an official taxi. Okay. See, that night I did follow OJ to the airport and somebody just jumped in my play school car and said, quick, downtown. And I said, well, hey, excuse me, I'll give you $100.

And how quick did you get there? It took us about three days. Okay. So you were going downtown. You were going to the pussy of Los Angeles. And so you just thought that was your calling for a little while? Well, a little while. I just took people back and forth

From the pussy of Los Angeles Which is downtown To the big titties Which is the valley In the valley Yeah and then that tiny tiny waste Which is the sunset strip Yes

And then 2001 9-11-ish happens And then what do you do until now? On 9-12 Okay I woke up Made some changes Made some changes

I said You know what Let me just go over here And cook my mom some dinner Okay Because she's reeling from 9-11. Right, right, yeah. And a lot of us were.

Yes. And I made her some dinner. And lo and behold, that dinner was the one that gave of theitis. Oh. So she's had theitis all these years. Wow. She's had it for now 18 years. And it's because of you.

I mean, is this why you're estranged? There are a few things. And this is one for sure, for certain. Wow. Yeah. Um, that's a, uh, a terrible, terrible, terrible situation. I mean, you, uh, are the one who did this. Yeah. He, he, he, he, and, and it's all because he, what he didn't do was follow his calling. Yeah. He should have been making food. He should have just, yeah, he should have been a chef or

something like that. Want to be a, uh, uh, a Satan. I mean, Satan has gotten in your way for, for, for now 50 years. Satan is why I'm here talking to. of y'all today. What, yeah. Why are you here talking, you're reppping Satan for some reason. Reping Satan to the day I, D, I. You don't even know how to spell die.

That's one of those three-letter words that's taken. And you should break that one down. D-I? Yeah. Gotcha. That's, I mean, we already did part of dictionary. D. Damn.

I. I. Yeah. Coming. See. Okay. Well, look, guys. I mean, I don't know.

I feel bad for you that you're in this situation but it is your own fault and you know Andre P. Neuer over here is she's a very I mean I wouldn't say successful business woman

Yeah you're successful in the terms of you're happy Passionate Passionate, exactly I said I'm successful Oh well we were trying to say You were trying to agree with you Call me by my name

Timothy Shalame Well okay So you're a successful woman And you're not so successful But you're you know I'm still working on it Scotty-thaddy. I'm still working on it. All right. Well, good for you guys.

Still working. Do you plan on making up? I mean, maybe it'll take the death of your mother for you guys to reunite. I just got a text. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Who's texting you? Let's break uh-oh death. Okay. You. You. H. Ho.

U-oh. O-oh. H. Here. You-ho. Oh, here. You ho here. Okay, that's not bad. Oh, that's like thought. That's opposite of a thought. Yeah, that ho over there.

That ho, but you ho over. It's a thought or an oh. Okay, depending on the proximity to the hoe. Sure. Okay, so wait, but what is the text? Mom, dad. Who texted you? Did she text?

Your assistant? Oh, your mom's dead. I'm so sorry. That just makes me think of something. Yeah, your mom. I just died. You don't have any feelings about your mother's death? I haven't seen her in over 20 years.

She has had theitis for 18. She hasn't spoken in 18 years. What happened to the two before that? The two before that, I was out making things happen. Right, right. Okay. So you're very busy. I'm busy.

I'm successful. I don't have time for emotion. So you don't care that your mom just died, but it gave you an idea. I don't know if I can. I need time to process. Sure, sure. You're in the middle of DABDA. You're in denial.

Yes. Elizabeth Kubler. would say, uh-huh, this is her thing. So I'm in denial right now. Right, you're in denial right now, but it gave you an idea. It gave me an idea. And sometimes necessity is the mother of invention. Exactly.

I don't have a mother now. I'm so sorry, but necessity. That was insensitive. I feel like that was a... Insensitivity is the mother of invention. No. Brother, will you break down, dick? Dick, let's break it down.

Break it down. D. D. Damn. I. I. I. I.

Right. What's G-D-Though? Gummin. Gumm-in. And that's when you suck a dick. Okay. With no teeth in your mouth. Oh, come on. With no teeth in your mouth.

Contra. This is more sexual than we planned on it being. No. Look, I don't cuss. I haven't said anything wrong. You said shit once. You got very offended when I said spit. And then you talked about gum and a dick.

Just now you talked about gumming a dick. You don't even know what a dick is, practically, you said. I heard what it is. And I imagine it would be nice to have gums. Gums. Gums tantalizing. I mean, yeah, that's the dream for us men. What is your idea?

Okay. We're going to have to get rid of my mother's body, right? The authorities will probably do it. We're going to have to get rid of my mother's body. This is an Illuminic situation. Okay. No. So what if there's a rectangular 3D?

rectangular kind of contraption. You're talking about a coffin. You're talking about a coffin. Describe that to me. It's a rectangular contraption that you put a dead body in and lower it into the ground. Never heard of it. I know you haven't. Never heard of it, but if you would hear me out and if you don't want to invest, maybe this man here. What man? No, sorry. Hello. Hey. Hey. Charles? Hi, there. It's me, Charles. Hey, Charles. God, we haven't heard from you in a long time. Yeah, I got sorry, I've been lost in the building. Yeah, the fencing instructor, Charles.

I'm a very patriotic fencing instructor, a very devout Christian. Charles, well, you got a Satanist here. Have you ever heard of Satan? Yeah, I've heard of him. He's not a great guy, from what I understand. Boy, do I have something to tell you, child? How do you like Old Navy? Old Navy low-rise boot-cut jeez.

How do you like those jobs? Low-rise and boot-cutt? That's a sexy covenant. You want it real heavy at the bottom. That's right. I'm a big Michael Jordan fan. That's one third of the way to sick. I love big jeans.

Okay. Charles, do you have money. You know, I do pretty good. Okay. I have an invention. I'd like to run past you. If you would like to invest in my invention. Is it a throat widener?

Yeah, Charles. Charles has a narrow, narrow esophagus. I have a really narrow esophagus. I've got to push the words out. No. Let's invent a throne widener. It is a man. Man, with knee.

How much would you pay for a throat widener? Oh, I mean, like, uh, $100? Wow, that's more than you've ever made. Made, huh. Well, I don't really like to take people's ideas. That's his idea. He wants one. I don't want to take people's ideas because that would make me a fraud.

That's fair. That would make me a fraud. You've got a lot of principles. Thank you. A rectangular, 3D rectangular contraption that opens. It's on hinges. Like a coffin? I don't know what that is, but,

hear me out you would put a dead body in it after the body has been covered an embalming fluid so you know embalming fluid but you don't know what a cough heard of it heard of it and they're rubbing it on the outside

I've been to a lot of funerals and those you can do a lot yes those bodies are just getting put straight in the ground just bare they're just like dumping them in there just embal them and then just dump them in the hole why do they bother embalming them if they're just going to toss them off into a big

hole I don't I'm not a funeral director Scott and you're trying to back me into a I was a funeral director for a while. Wait, was this from 2000? It was right after I cooked my mom food. Yeah, 2001. I said, Mom, I got to get to a funeral to direct it. I directed it like a music video.

We thought he was going to be a choir director. We did think that at one point. And he said he decided to be. So you were just like doing choreography during the... I walked into the funeral. I said, action. Okay, that's more. That's a funeral director does so much more than this.

I was a funeral producer for a while. Did they make money? Oh, yeah. Well, you got to spend money to make money. All right, look, we're running out of time. Unfortunately, we only have one last feature on the show, and that is A Little Something Called Plugs. We only have time for one last feature.

A little something we call plugs. Ooh, listen to that. I know it ain't my business, but that was good. That was really good. I almost wish that that had an appetizer P. Newer-style lick at the beginning of that. What was the lick that you did, Appetizer? Oh, appetizer? Appetizer.

Appetizer. Hey, appetizer. Appetizer. He's lost his phone. He's literally on his phone. I wonder what he's thinking about. Yeah. Sorry.

I was reading the text from my son. assistant. She says manure is leaking. Wait, you have another sister? Is she soaking wet? Who's your sister? Leaking, she's soaking wet. She's leaking.

She's leaking wet. She's leaking like a song. She's leaking where I've told her. She's shaking like a solid shaker. Yeah. Okay. Very sorry. All right.

Look, we got a plug. Langston, what do you got a plug? You got some dates coming up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come to Grand Rapids, Michigan. I don't know where the shows are, but I'll be there this weekend. Where do people find information? I think that'll be passed.

Sure. At Langston, Kerman, on Twitter and Instagram. That's where people find info about the shows that you're out there all the time. All there. Entree. Entree. I don't have some dates coming up. I'm very single, so slide into my DMs.

Meaning call you. Yes. Well, no, they got to work up there. Okay, so wait, it's first base is sliding into the DMs. Yes. What's second base? We establish third base as you calling them. home plate is them calling you.

Okay. So what's trying to... What's in between sliding in the DMs and... Run that by me one more time. Okay, sliding in the DMs is first. Okay. Okay. You calling them as third.

Okay. Them calling you is home. Okay. So what's second? Um, second is... Scoring position. Is a picture of genitalia. Whoa, really?

Sending you dick pics. Yes. But you have never seen a penis. Because Instagram will blur it out if you don't know the person. Oh, so you don't click on anything that... I don't click. But you don't click, but you've achieved second base.

I've achieved second base. I have received a dick pick. All right. Anything you want to plug? You should follow a girl. A girl, her name is Ego, on Instagrammed at Egy Boom. Eggie Boom. Yes.

Any underscores in that, or is it just pure Egy Boom? We've all heard about the underscore. Let us never forget. On Twitter, there is an underscore between... We've all learned about it. Yeah, the taint of Instagram. The taint of Instagram, but on Twitter, it is... Even worse than having to add the real to your name.

Or official, or numbers, or numbers, that is ugly. Stop with the numbers and your username if you're not a child. Okay. But Eggie Boom, follow this woman. Okay, but on Twitter, it's Aggie underscore Boom. Esther Wilson, who doesn't use Twitter, has Eggie Boom without the underscore. Esther, give it up. I will not pay you for the handschool.

It ain't that deep. Why doesn't this woman just use her own name instead of Aggie Boom? I don't. I want to ask her what the significance of Eggie Boomer is. Yeah, boy, someday we'll get to the bottom of this. But one day. Someday we'll go downtown on this. Yes.

Also, come to Austin Sketchfest. That girl, Ager, will be headlining with her one-woman show. Scott, are you going to come check out her one-woman show? What's it for all great black women and then there's me? It's happening in Austin, Texas. Austin Sketch Fest in May. I don't have any. plans to go to Austin, unfortunately.

And even if it were just right down the street for me, I can't even say that I would come. This is a disappointing dad. This man is a disappointing father. All right. Appetizer, what do you want to plug? I would like to plug the Church of Satan Christ and Latter-day Taints. Okay, Grace.

You're going to get a lot of messages from the Mormons. Who are they? Okay. I want to plug. We're trying to get more Farts and Procreation vinyl records out there. They sold out within a couple hours. We're going to get a few more out there in a different color vinyl from what I understand. And I'll let you know when those are on sale. And classic Charles, anything to plug?

Man, I'm excited about that vinyl album. I finally got my clothes and play out of hawk. You're what out of my clothes and play? My house and play. My Hasbro, close and play. Close and play. Okay. Yeah. Close and play. I had to trade my trumpet for it. Wow. Wow. I can't use the trumpet anyway because of my small What if you shoved it down your esophagus? Am I whiten it out? Hey! How dare you?

This is more sexual than we thought. I don't mean to overstep, Charles, but I'm dying to ask you. Would you say your esophagus is thick? You know what we mean by that. Big butt. Big butt, tiny waist, big boobs. Always two c's. Oh, yeah, I guess you could describe it that way.

Let's break that down. Okay, come on now. T, T, the, the, the, H, H, H, the, I. He is? C. Coming, coming. Come and coming. Okay, good.

She's really coming. Speaking of coming, the closing up, the plug-back theme is coming. Let's close it up. Here we go. Close your eyes and open up that bag. Close your eyes and open up that bag. You've got to get those eyes closed. Open the bag.

Get them. Don't be closing. Don't be closing. Open them up and let's get loaded. Let's get loaded. Open up and down the bag. Let's get loaded up the bag. Open up the mad. I'm going to bang. I can't not say this.

That was like the sickle mode of the plug song. different tunes in one. Are you familiar with Sickle-O-Move? Travis, yes. My good boy. My good boy. My good boy, Travis. Guys, I want to thank you so much.

Langston, it's always great to see you. What a pleasure. Let's not make it another year. I know we're both successful, but you know, we've got to see each other more. Entree P. Neur, so great to have you. Do you have any other siblings?

I'd love for you to come back with some other people. Pleasure is mine. I'll think about whether I want to announce their names on the podcast. I mean, I would assume that Dessert Pee Nuer might be. Dessert Pee Nua. We got sports Pinoa.

Sports Pinoa. Yeah. And now Manuer is gone and stinking up the place. Panoa died years ago. Panua, yes. And appetizer Pinoa. So good to me. Thank you.

You're still checking those texts. A lot of stuff coming in. It's a busy day. I understand. And Jarls, always great to see you. At classic Jarls on Twitter. Really? Yep.

Okay. I haven't seen that. Been there a while. Don't really tweet much. Well, you're lost in the building. It's true. All right. We'll see you next time.

Thanks. Bye.