Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Time Bobby 2 (Paul F. Tompkins, Bobby Moynihan)

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

On this week's Bonus Bang, it's Time Bobby 2! IT’S BEEN quite a while since Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber has been on Comedy Bean Bag and this time he’s here for a special comprehensive interview of his entire career! Shortly after expressing his love for Vampire Weekend, Scott & Lord ALW are caught off guard by the return of the stabby lil’ orphan boy, Fourvel. Equipped with a bandolier full of his little brother Threevel’s scraps, he claims to be here to apologize but does he have other motives? Tune in to find out! (Originally released as episode #215 on 4/22/13)  Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another Bonus Bang. Bonus Bangs being, of course, where we re-release great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall. And we are now in the middle of a series of episodes called Time Bobby. Hopefully you heard last week's Bonus bang with Time Bobby the first episode. We are now going to be letting you hear the second Time Bobby episode. I believe this is called Time Bobby 2. This was originally released April 22nd, 2013 as episode 215. A lot of numbers, I understand. 2, 2013, 22, 25, 215. It's a lot, but all you have to know is a year prior,

Bobby Moynihan and Paul F. Tompkins and I sat down and we recorded the iconic Time Bobby episode, which was voted on as the best episode of that year. And then this year in 2013, we reconvened Paul F. Tompkins is playing Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and Bobby Moynihan returns as the stab happy orphan for volt. Now we find out in this episode,

a lot of different stuff, I don't wanna spoil it for you, but if the words Tuval and frivol mean anything to you, well, you're in for a good one. If you enjoyed this episode and you want to hear more episodes featuring either Bobby Moynihan or Paul F. Tompkins or anyone else, become a subscriber at CBBWorld.com.

We have all of the past episodes that you can't find anywhere else. We have every single live show we've ever done, ad-free new episodes, bonus shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn't Seen. We're gonna be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang. Brace yourself, battle whales, the tide is rising.

Welcome to comedy Bang Bang. Ah, what a catchphrase. Brace yourself, Battle Whales, the tide is rising. Thank you so much for that so Ravenclaw. I'm like. You're not supposed to say that in vain. Ravenclaw? No, no, that's made up.

The thing about the Battle Whales. Really, the Battle Whales thing is real? The ancient call to the Battle Whales. Brace yourself, Battle Whales, the tide is rising. Scott, the ancient call to the battle whales. Brace yourself battle whales. The tide is... Scott, please! I'm so sorry, I had no idea. Leave it out! Why would this person be so cavalier about this then? I don't... the crown has many enemies. Wait, so these are whales... The Queen's battle whales.

Controlled by the Queen. Control? Not controlled by the Queen. Like telepathically with the concentric circles? No, no, no. That's just corgis. Did you know the Queen controls the world's population of corgis? No idea. Yes. God help us if she ever unleashes them. Even the ones here in the States? Corgis the world over, darling. The world? Please don't go there.

Even in alternate dimensions. My g- Ultimate? What? Theoretically, we don't know that there are alternate dimensions. You mean the- Boy, that's, you said do. Do's are difficult to say. Alternate- Alternate dimensions, alternate dimensions.

Every day in every way, I am growing better and better. So you mean the infinite amount of dimensions that exist every time we make, as humans, a choice. Yes. There are several other choices that we as humans could make. Sliding dolls, don't you know? Yes, of course. So then there is an infinite amount of alternate dimensions, and this queen is out.

No, there's a hundred. Only 100. Only 100. And who controls these two? That much we know. Whose choices can have correct? And may I say, 50 of them? Give it a miss.

Oh, really? Yes. Wait, OK. It's the same. Everyone Give it a miss. Oh really? Yes. Okay. It's the same, everyone's clothes run backwards. Oh yeah. Boring. I remember the group Criss Cross came from that dimension and they travelled over here.

How did you find out about that? I just remembered it. Oh yes. The science of remembering. You know, I searched back within the recesses of my mind and it was something that I knew and so I said it. You're a bit of a detective, much like the Batting Gentlemen. I searched back within the recesses of my mind and it was something that I knew and so I said it. You're a bit of a detective, much like the batting gentleman. Yes, the batting gentleman.

What a great guy. Remember him? Villante justice. So, getting back to the point though, the queen controls, the queen in our universe controls the... Yes, our queen Elizabeth II. Not the queen in several other universes. Is there a queen in the hundred other universes? In, I would say roughly a quarter of them.

Oh. So in 25... Enjoy your drink. Thank you, mm. Thought you were gonna go on a little longer. Tastes like professionalism. Kind of expected there to be a longer answer. How did you know?

But 25%, so 25 of these other universes, is a queen. Roughly. But that queen does not control any of the corgis? No. Only one queen controls the corgis. One queen to control them all, of course. Yes, it's Tolkienian don't you do? Of course. So this queen controls all the corgis in the hundred other universes. Yes, what corgis there are? What would happen if she was able to create some sort of interdimensional barrier, not barrier, but some sort of portal in which all the corgis from all the- A stargate, if you will. Okay, sure. All the corgis from all the other universes were to gather here on our earth. Would there be enough corgis to enslave the human race? Answer me that. Here's the real question. Okay, I'm sorry, mine wasn't good enough,

but go ahead with yours. Whatever happened to J. Davidson from the crying game? That is a great question. He was in Stargate and then not much else. I know, it seemed he had all that heat. Where is he now? I wonder, where might he be? J, what's his name?

Davidson. Davidson. Oh, that's part of the problem. Son of David. Yes, of course. Remember last we talked, we spoke to the vicar of Yanks. We're now Yank of Yank. Yes, of course. And...

We discussed names, the provenance of surnames. Of course. In your country. Where does yours come from again? Weber. He who webs. Right. I'm descended of spider people. Spider people?

Yes. Back in the Middle Ages, don't you know? As soon as the Middle Ages, there were spider people. A lot of people don't know this in the sign. It was only the Middle Ages. Oh, okay. That's where they really flourished spider people. I understand. And then what happened to that race, that brave, brave race? No one wanted the webs. Oh. So they were not a warrior race? No, they were craftsmen. Tradesmen? They made, tradesmen if you will, they made webs for the villagers.

Okay. No one had use of them. Yeah, I would wonder. The webbers would say, here now, I'll make you a web so you can catch some food. What food might that be, the villager might ask. The webber would reply, flies. Well, thank you, I'm a human being, how dare you suggest I eat flies? I would imagine-

A typical conversation with the Middle Ages. Typical conversation, yeah. I would imagine though Renfield would have been very into that. Oh, from Bram Stoker's Dracula. Yes, of course. I imagine he would have found great use for that. Fly eater, but he didn't have money. The insane aren't allowed to hold jobs.

That is true, they're not allowed to hold money either. Anytime an insane person actually grasps money, an alarm goes off at the treasury. It's a ghastly nightmare. Nicholas Cage is called. The B of E. Yes, of course. The Bank of England. I spelled it out for you.

Thank you so much. I personally, I bank at the B of A. B of A Bank of... America. Oh America. Certainly. Yes by the way I haven't introduced you. No. And I have not. Do I need an introduction? I don't believe you so. But just in case this is crazy but if this is someone's very first foray into comedy bong based bing bong.ong. If you've been comatose for quite some time. That's right. If you're in some sort of dead zone situation where the minute you woke up, you grasped someone and psychically realized that there is a podcast that you should be listening to. I say, wouldn't it be wonderful if someone in one of these dead zone scenarios,

they awake from their coma and they grasp some. An Oxford comma. Yes. I don't give a fuck about it. Ha ha ha ha. Vampire weekend. Ha ha ha ha. Your favorite band, by the way.

I love them. Just a sidebar. Vampire weekend. We've talked about this many times off mic. Yes. What do you love so much about Vampire Weekend? They're jaunty young lads with a fun-dressed sense. They're not trying to hurt anyone, despite their name.

Perhaps the name means vampires having a weekend in which they do not suck the blood out of living people. Do you think they take Renfield along with them on this weekend? I mean... I wonder if they have a fun Renfield. I wonder. A fellow who eats flies. Have you thought about turning their music, what little music there is from them, their

third album coming out right now, but into a music how? Well, what I've thought is, I wish they would take my works and turn them into fun pop albums. There you go. Why do you always have to do the heavy lifting? So I wonder what that would be like. That would be like Jesus Christ Superstar, it would be like... Well, you know, those... the songs, Jesus Christ Superstar is a perfect example. Those

songs are very heavy, aren't they? The rock and roll songs. Sure. My mind is clearer now. Oh. Yes, do sing it. At last all too well I can see Where we all soon will be I didn't realize you knew so much. If you strid away I've got goose pimples The myth from the man We will see

Where we all soon will be I've got rhino plates Jesus Excellent mic technique. You started to believe the things they say of you. You'd make a wonderful Judas. Would I know? But for one thing, and I think you know what it is. What is that? The... Please don't make me say it.

The color I spelled with a U. Now, now. Of my... Please. That's enough. You go too far, sir. All my. Please, that's enough. You go too far, sir. All right, so sorry.

How did we get on Vampire Weekend? What were we talking about right before that? Renfields, before that. Before the Vampire Weekend, we were talking about, oh yes, when someone is in a comma. Yes, yes, if they woke from their comma and they grasped someone and they instantly were able to download, as it were, all the information

available about me. Wow. Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's who I am! That is true. In a Shamanlani-in-the-Ending, I have revealed my own identity. Oh my goodness. Usurping the power from you, the host.

Well then I shall reveal my own identity. I'm the host, Scott Ackerman. You haven't. I say you've beat me at my own game. Yeah, were you about to reveal my identity? I had, I'd assumed you'd already done so. In a J. Davidson type twist, I decided to reveal my own. What ever happened to you? To me?

And this is Comedy Bing Bong, of course. Of course it is, Comedy Bing Bong. And another episode, and you are my co-host this episode. Yes, another episode. Can we, why do we keep going? What's the end game, really? I don't get it. I mean, do me a favor, all these episodes. Really? I mean, we put out enough good ones, you could just re-listen to those over and over.

Oh, now I see. There might be two schools of thought about that, dear boy. Really? Perhaps you're searching for one more good one to go out on. Ah, well, maybe if this one's a good one, this'll be the end. Well, hope springs eternal. All right. Well, thank you so much for being my co-hostian.

It is my pleasure. And what has been going on with you, Andrew Lloyd Webber? Have you, I mean, you've been living in the merry old land of Ing. Yes. England, of Ing. Yes. England, of course. And of course. And, uh... A bit of a jewel.

It's been a while since we have spoken. It's been quite a while. It's been, of course, quite a while. And I always love to catch up with you because you're always up to something fascinatingly interesting. Oh, yes, aren't I? Yes, of course. Always up to something fascinatingly interesting.

I say, do you hear that rat tap tapping upon the... Our chamber door? Yes. It is a visitor, I suppose, and nothing more. Hello? Who's... where's that voice coming from? Hello? I'm looking... I'm looking in the space where a regular-sized human being man would be.

Yes, directly across from our eyeballs. Yes. And there is nothing there. And yet I distinctly hear a voice. You gotta look down towards the ground. What's that? Oh! Scalchrick!

Do you see whom I spy? Oh, I, I, I, oh my gosh, I think I see it. Hi guys, how you guys doing? Oh, hello, it's, it's, it's dear Forvel. It's been a while. It's been. It's been. Now, dear Forvel. It's been a while. It's been. It's been. Now, Forvel, it's been quite a while since we've seen you. Yeah, it's been a long time, but it's good to, good to see you guys.

I am, I am paralyzed with fright. Yes. Keep calm, do the other thing. I'm sorry. I just wanted to start off by apologizing for stabbing you last time. Last time you were on the show, you were a frisky little boy. I got a little stabby. You did get quite stabby.

It's been a long time since then, so. It's been the worst experience of my life. Yeah. It's been a long time since you've seen- Dismissive Jimmy Stewart. Dismissive Jimmy Stewart, of course. Didn't realize he was also dismissive. Very, very dismissive. I, uh, for, let me catch the listeners up on what is happening right now. One of the last times that Lord Webber, Lloyd Lord, Webber and I

Lloyd Webber? Lloyd Webber. Webber got together a tiny young orphan boy, Hugh. Hugh Jackman? No, Hugh that I'm looking at right now. Oh, that I thought you meant to have. No, he's been to broadcasting school, so. Okay.

Hugh came into the studio looking for scraps. Yeah, I was lost. You were lost and you were looking for scraps and then ended up looking for a father. Lord Laurie was about to- Lord, Lord. Little Lord, Lord, Lord Webby. I was going to make you my ward. Yeah.

Invite you to my castle. Yeah. To live in a gilded cage. On top of the world. That's right. Do you live on top of the world? Yes, didn't you know? We've never spoken about what your actual address is.

Yes. The North Pole? 500 top of the world. Yes, that's right. If you would like to send me some correspondence, simply address it to Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber, the North Pole. I remember at one point there was a big court case deciding whether or not you were real. And someone from the post office came in and dumped just sacks and sacks of letters to

you on... Yes. It was such a hassle. They declared a mistrial. Of course they did. I'm allowed to walk the earth as a real person. Are they retrying it though, ever since the mistrial? Oh, I hope not.

What do you know? You should check in on that. To do some web research. But first, Scott, let's not I hope not. What do you know? You should check in on that. We have to do some web research. But first, Scott, let's not forget. Webber research, you mean? Let's not forget we have a stabby orphan in front of us. Oh, I totally forgot.

I got so sidetracked on this. I'm not going to hurt anybody, I mean, unless you fucking get me. This is the problem, the unless. It's exactly what happened last time. You said you weren't going to hurt us, and then you said unhurt. I don't want to hurt nobody. I just want love and some food, maybe some square, like if you have some flies, I'll eat those.

But you have... What? Oh, really? Renfelian behavior from Falvo. Can you still make the webs? It's been quite a while. Wait, how long? It's been...

Since I was a child, I think. Engineer Frank, did we install the metal detectors in the studio yet? Ah, no. Why haven't you done that? We have this open door pulse. It's been on your honey-do list forever. It's been on my honey-do list forever, and we still have not done it.

Look, I don't wanna start this again. I just wanna be truthful this time. I am carrying. How many knives are you carrying? Look, he's got a plastic knife. Got a bandolier full of knives. A wooden knife? He's got knives from every...

A butter knife. Not, it's actually made of butter. Oh my goodness, really hardened butter. Yeah. My goodness, that's kind of cute. When you hold it, it gets warm. Is that an icicle? Yeah. You have. That's kind of cute. When you hold it, it gets warm. Is that an icicle? Yeah. You have an icicle in your bandolier? Yeah. It's the perfect murder weapon because the evidence melts.

Because you can have somebody and then it melts and nobody knows. Yeah. And then you've also got a leg of lime in there. A frozen leg of lime. Yeah. I can't eat it because it's frozen or else I'd be chowing down. I can't eat it because it's frozen or else I'd be chowing down. But I just wanted to let you know, I'm always pecking, I can't help it because I'm from the streets. I do. For new listeners, yes, this is a young orphan, Fourville. Yeah. And why do you call yourself Fourville? Well, it's like five, I'll put one less. Oh, right, right, right.

Of course. It's not everything. I forget these things. I have my little brother's threefold. You have family? Now wait a minute. If you've got family, dear boy, why are you running around stabbing people for scraps? Oh, they died. Oh.

I do apologize. You were speaking of him in the present tense. Yeah. Because I still carry him with me in my little heart. Oh, in your heart. Oh, I was afraid he was in that bandolier. I also was afraid. I hate parts of him more. What? Are they frozen? No. Oh, in your heart. Oh, I was afraid he was in that bandolier. I also was afraid. Well, he ate parts of them all.

What? Eww. Are they frozen? No. Oh, okay. Just loose meat. Scraps, in other words. Relatively recent death this three-fold suffered?

A couple days ago, yeah. And might I inquire, I say, ask trepidatiously, what might have been the cause of three-fold's demise? We were watching a movie and he said he wanted to go sleep and could you turn it down? I said, are you fucking kidding me, bro? Are you fucking kidding me, bro? What movie? I'm sorry?

What movie? Was it something that had to be listened to loudly? It was the Dormoma from the train. Okay, okay, I understand. Loud train sounds. Yes. Bing, bing, bing, bing. Adds to the expo. Oh, okay, I understand. Loud train sounds, yes. Ding ding ding ding. Adds to the, ooh, that's quite good.

Thank you so much. That was a good train to him. It's almost like you're watching it right now. I thought there was a train coming, I was gonna hop on it. Oh, that's what you do as an orphan. Yeah, a little box car. Can I ask you a question

that I'm very, very concerned about? Of course. You say there's loose meat of your brother Threeville inside your bandolier. Yeah. And loose meat of your brother Threeville inside your bandolier. Yeah? Uh, and loose meat is scraps. Yeah. And you, you, it's heavily established that you're out there looking for scraps.

Scaltrick! Scaltrick, you fucking... I'm very alarmed at this conversational track. Just wanna question it? Yes! I'm just wondering if... Are you about to say what I think you're about to say? Uh, yes, whatever happened to J. Davidson. Oh

What what did happen to J. Davidson? Do you know for all yeah? You know what happened to J. Davidson look on the back of my bandolier. Oh my god His J. Davidson's penis this big surprise of the crying game spoiler alert no wait you recognize it on site Yeah, of course I do. It's the most famous penis in the world. You know, that's a fair point. How did you get J. Davidson's penis? I saw him at the store one day.

And I said, hey, you're J. Davidson, right? And he said, why? My ear. What a voice he had. Yeah. Remember his melodious voice. He had a beautiful, a kind Jeffrey Holder. He could have been the new Darth Vader in the new movies.

He said, you look lonely. And I said, I need a home to stay in. He said, you can stay with me. And I said, let me see that dick. And I cut it right off. But why? Because I don't want to live with that asshole. You could have just said no.

I guess I could. But when you're on the streets, man, you gotta think quick. You gotta be on your toes, even if they're little orphan toes. Was his penis exposed in the store? This is what I'm wondering. What kind of store is this?

Oh, yeah, that guy's a little freak, man. He walks around with his penis out all the time. What store is this? It's the only way people recognize him. Is this some sort of pornography store that you were at, is that it? Yeah, was it the pornography store? Lasex shoppy? Yeah, a lasex shoppy.

You high end. Yeah, sometimes I go in there and steal edible panties to eat. Oh. Now I feel bad for him again. Although you claim to me that's no- Pretty much my whole life is making people feel bad for me so that I could live with them. But so you're aware of it?

I don't know if I'm aware of the word as much as I just know my place. You're cognizant. Yeah, cognizant. Correct. Well, that's, I just, I worry that you're out there searching for scraps and what you're doing is carving up human beings and then eating them. I mean, just to lay it out there on the table. I never ate a human being.

Don't slander me like that. I mean, I keep them just in case, because if it ever gets real bad, I might have to. But thank God it hasn't gotten to that point yet. At this point, you have not. You have yet to taste human flesh. Yeah, and it's just my brother, part of my brother, losing me and JJ Davidson's penis.

That's all I got so far. So it's not like I'm a mass murderer. Let me ask you this. If it were to come to that, if you were in some sort of situation where there were no more edible panties to eat, oh, shudder to think, what kind of a world would that be? It's a living nightmare. What would you eat?

Alternate dimension. Which would you eat first? Would you eat your brother, Threaval, or would you eat J. Davidson's Whang? I'm not gonna lie, I think I'm going for the brother because if given the choice, I would like to consume my own brother first. But wouldn't that be some sort of, I mean, let alone the fratricide part of it, but you'd be consuming a member of your own family.

Yeah, but it would be to sustain my own life, so it's like he's helping me, the other guy. Well, I don't know if you've heard, dear boy, but we don't do that anymore. It simply isn't done. It's just not done. Yeah, we don't eat anyone of the human race, let alone our own family. Some people do it, I feel like.

Maybe someone in the darkest of Africa. Yeah. Let that sit there. Yeah, let that one ride it tough out. Absolutely. Of course. You know, they get the big pot and they, you know, when Bob Hope and- Like in Moon Tones.

When Bob Hope and Bing Crosby would go there, they would roast them in the pot. Anyway, Dorothy Lamour would be hanging out. Correct. You know these movies. Everybody knows that. I know all that stuff. I'm a big fan of film and television. Can you tell us about your brother, Threevil? What was he like?

Well, it's been a long time since I talked to him because he died from my hands. How long has he been? Yeah, it's been about a couple days now. So not that long. But in a tiny child's mind. But when you live on the streets, man, each day is like an eternity. How old are you again? Me? Yeah.

Yeah. So tell us about him. I mean, did he have a certain joie de vivre? He did. He was French. Sure. I didn't expect anything like that. He was born.

For the listeners, joy of life. Yes. So he was born in France and you were born here. Yeah. He was my little brother, Threaville, and we would just scamper around the Earth together, trying to just make ends meet. Around the Earth? Yeah, yeah, the whole Earth. You've trotted the globe!

Yeah, I've been everywhere. You're some sort of, uh, curly... Like, Men-o-lark lemon. Right, who am I thinking of? Curly. Curly eel. I thought you meant Curly from the Harlem Globe. I didge Lemon. Right, who am I thinking of? Curly. Neal. I thought you meant Curly from the Harlem Globe. I did, yeah.

OK, good. What's his name? Curly. Curl. Sue. Curly Neal. Curly Neal. Why do you doubt my knowledge of the Harlem Globe process?

I thought you were instructing me to kneel, as you often do. Well, I wish you would. It should be understood. I know. I am a lord. I know, but we don't respect that here in AmeriCarr. We never should have allowed that to happen. So now, you took a trip to Paris then, your parents were still alive.

Yeah, before I stabbed them. And you took a trip to Paris to go to Paris Disneyland, I'm assuming? Yeah, of course. Why else would you go to Paris? Is that still open? It depends what time of the year it is. It's a seasonal thing. Fair play to you.

Every other day in the autumn? Yeah. Every other day it's open. Every other day it's open. Is that one of your new songs? No. Oh. We're talking about song.

Song. I mean, you write songs, don't you? Yes, I certainly do. Of course. Why did you bring up songs all of a sudden? It was a beautiful melody that you started to sing. What melody? Every other day it's open. Yes, I certainly do. Of course, he's one of the most prolific songwriters. Why did you bring up songs all of a sudden? It was a beautiful melody that you started to sing. What melody? Every other day it's open.

Why are you singing? Yeah, I don't understand. You liked it before. Yeah, it's been a long time since. I liked it when you were singing one of my songs. So you would travel the globe together, and what was he like? I mean, what did he like to do? He was exactly like me, except a little bit tinier,

one less than me. Sure, sure. And, but he had a big, thick mustache for a little baby, which was strange. Sometimes I think he might have been older and he was a liar. So when you were alive, you were one of your victims. I'm still alive.

Yes, of course, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to imply that you're not, please. I'm still alive, Scott. He's insulting S'm so sorry. I don't mean to imply that you're not, please. I'm still alive, Scott. You've been insulting sculpture. Give me the fucking respect, man. I'm just right in front of you. No, no, disrespect, man. Forthold, no, disrespect, man.

It was a slip of the tongue. Yeah. Merely. That tongue would look good with an icicle in it if you don't watch your fucking staff. No, please, Forthold, please. I don't want you to cut out my tongue and have it reside next to Jay Davidson's penis. Look, what I meant to say is, your very first

memory, since your earliest of memories, your brother Threeville was alive. Yeah. And so... My very first memory was my actual birth. What? I have a... The devil you say? Phenomenal memory.

Oh my goodness. Yeah. What happened? Can you describe it? Yeah. It looked like a door opening and I saw a little doctor man. Wait, was this in Asia? You were born in the States, you said? Yeah, I was born in the States, but funny enough, it was Asia. Pat Morita. Pat Morita was your... My mom's doctor. Oh, doctor man. Did he slap his hands together and rub them together? He did, yeah.

Yeah? Oh my gosh. Okay, just to catch me up. Okay, I don't understand why this would be confusing, but come on. I just want to follow it, because there's many details, twists and turns. As always.

Yours as always, never a dull moment with Forville. Of course not. You claim to remember your actual birth. You're giving us a first person account of the birthing process. It sounds legit to me because all those details that he mentions sound like what would happen in an actual birth.

Everything sounds legit until we get to the deliverer of you. The Dr. Man Pat Morita. Yes. It's the same Pat Morita from the Karate Kid. And from Happy Days. And from Happy Days. Created by our good friend Gary Marshall. I think he did a movie with Jay Leno once.

He gave me Tonitus. Oh, really? Speaking of Jay Leno, the Tonitus show. So yeah, he did that movie with Jay Leno where they were cops. Yeah, I think so. A fine film. Yes, what was that called?

I don't remember. But I remember he karate chopped a car. She and him. Of course he did. She and him? Was that the name of it? No, that was the crying game you're thinking of. Ah.

Thank you. OK. Yes, I think of the crying game, she and him. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

All right, so you're on board now, Pat Marie. Yeah, I know, I caught up, thank you. Okay, now that's out of the way. Okay, so then was your brother there in the room to greet you when you... He wasn't, but he was out, I heard he was down at the gift shop. Okay. Well then there's your answer, he's definitely not your little brother, he was already there when you were being born. But he's smaller than me, so he's my little brother.

And they named him Threavile because they knew that they would have a baby in the future that was slightly bigger. Yeah, well, he was nameless for a little while, I think. Oh, I see. And then, yeah, they just went for it. What were your parents' names? Nancy and Nancy. Nancy and Nancy, and Nancy, of course, can be a man's name. Sure. So was it two men? Yeah. Oh my gosh, okay. Because you cut them up.

Yeah, because they don't know how to act sometimes. Right. What would be some of that transgressions that were stab-worthy? One time they woke me up too early, and that was the last straw, because I'm not a morning person. You seem to have a lot of issues

with either people sleeping or you sleeping Any and your sleep cycles in your family are really there's two things I mean, I think this goes for everyone But there are two things in the world that will get you stabbed and that's waking someone up early and taking someone's french fries so Anytime anyone disturbs your circadian rhythms, you're ready to stab. Oh, I'm ready to stab at the drop of a hat, but mostly if somebody wakes me up properly, just cover your neck, man, protect your neck.

Is that? Little tank style. Yeah, of course. So now, when you say taking someone's french fries, do you mean you'll stab someone as you take their french fries? No, no. I wouldn't ever take someone's french fries. That's like, I'm not positive,

but that might be a federal offense. Even if the choice between you starving to death or not was stealing someone's french fries or eating your brother Threaville, what would you do? I would eat my brother. You would eat your brother before you stole someone's french fries or eating your brother Threaville? What would you do? I would eat my brother. You would eat your brother before you stole someone's french fries. My goodness. I would eat his loose meat. That's good because I have some french fries here and I just, you know, I wanted to make

sure it was a safe room and you don't eat french fries of course. They'll never pass my lips. No of course because you're English through and through. That's right. I'll never eat a potato in any form. Potatoes in general? Is that because of the Irish as well? Yes. OK, the dirty Irish.

Now, that's not for you to say. Only for me, the dirty Irish. But I have some here, and I wanted to make sure everything was cool, and I wasn't going to offend anyone, or I wasn't going to know who was going to steal them. You know I'm starving. Sure, but I mean, you're not going to take them, obviously.

No, I would never, because you don't take another man's french fries May I ask for full They don't be an asshole to real loud when you know, I'm sorry. This is just in my normal chew. I'm sorry that it's loud You're not you're both in the wrong. First of all, you're eating on Mike disgusting So what secondly your language is appalling for well as it was before. Now let me say this. Let me ask you this, Forville. More specifically. I don't want one of those fries so bad.

You could offer it to you. You could just be a nice guy and offer. I'm sorry. It's a small order. Please, because I have portion control for me. I'm a small boy. I know, but I'm a large boy, and I only have a small. Gentlemen, gentlemen, I beg of you.

This is a very important question. Scotchrick, you'll want me to ask this question. Please do. You're taunting me, man. I feel like... Let's say someone was the possessor of some French fries. Frenched fries, as we call them. Frenching fries.

No, Frenched. They have been Frenched. They've been be-Frenched. Pfft. Fawful. Yeah. You would never stab someone for their french fries. No, I take it back.

You would never steal french fries from a living man. No, you shouldn't do that. But, would you take the french fries from a recently stabbed dead man? Of course. Oh! Cause they're free on the ground. Do you see, Skulltrick? Maybe I'd better put these fries away.

I think you should, just because... Yeah, I tell ya... I think we all know my track record is spotty at best. I'm just recovering from my wounds. We never talked about that on the next episode, though, by the way. It's too painful! Yeah, I mean, we were in a comma for a while. It's given me P-T-S-D-O-L.

Post-traumatic stress disorder. Of Lordships. Oh, I see. OK. All right, I'm going to put these fries away. Tell you what, we have to take a little break. Is that OK, Forvel? I mean, I think it's OK.

OK. Breaks, not a stabbing offense? No, I don't want to stab you guys. It's actually really good to see you. Very glad to hear that. Even though, to be honest, I've listened to the recording, you guys kinda treated me like shit. We were saying some stuff that he couldn't hear.

Talk behind my back a lot, you're two-faced, kinda, but I'm here to mend this relationship, that's why I came by. We'll mend it, we'll mend it. Tell you what, let's take a little break. When we come back, we'll have more Lord Webber, we'll have more For-vul. Yeah. And we'll be- Get it right, man. For-vul, of course. Get it right. For-vul. Thank you. For-vul. Okay, we'll be right back with Comedy Bang Bang after this. Welcome back to the show, Comedy Bang Bang, we're here with- Welcome back to the show, Comedy Bang Bang!

Yes, thank you Lord Webber. It's been a while since we went away. It's been about two minutes or so. Yeah, of course. It's been about that long, yes. Now we were in the middle of what I thought was going to be just a kind of dissection of Andrew Lloyd Webber's career. Yes, retrospective.

Where we started with Jesus Christ, no I'm sorry, Joseph the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. How many colors were in that coat of many colors? Do you remember all of those? Not this fucking shit again. Actually not that many. Not that many? Really?

Not that many. How many? In the actual stage production? Yeah, in the actual coat. It was two colors. Really? Yes, we. How many? In the actual stage production? Yeah, in the actual coat. It was two colors. Really? Yes, we didn't have quite the budgets we have now. And were they just black and white?

Yes. Oh, no. But we sang about so many colors. We thought we could put one over on the audience and do you know, it worked. And I thought we were just going to be talking to Andrew Lloyd Webber this entire show. Yes, did I. And I'm so sorry, we'll get back to that episode, of course, at a future date. I do look forward to it.

We are being held captive. Oh yes, that's right. That's not what's happening, man. During the break, we tried to exit. Yeah, why would you do that? We're not done yet. I mean, it's just rude. I was walking down the street and I heard the beautiful voice and I thought this is my time to come apologize.

Yes, maybe this is the problem. I shouldn't have you on the show anymore Andrew Lloyd Webber. You blame me? Well, I mean he heard your voice and all of a sudden here he is. You're saying I'm some sort of a stabby orphan lightning rod? I'm gonna be honest. I was outside when Weird Al Yankovic was here, but I gave the respect to that man. Oh, okay. And I didn't come in, but if you don't hear from Weird Al again, that's not...

Now I say, why does he deserve respect and we don't? Honestly, because you guys fucking punked me over last time I was here. I think you're bearing the lead. You gave me... He just intimated that he has murdered to death Weird Al Yankovic. What? He said if we don't hear from him again, do you have anything else in that knapsack of yours?

Have you murdered the vicar of Yanks? Or are you going to? This Hawaiian T-shirt didn't come from... The Hawaiian T-shirt that's just covered in blood. Oh, that's what your knapsack is actually made of. I should have noticed it was a Hawaiian pattern. Scotrick, I need to talk to you. Uh, yeah, do you mind, uh...

Oh, no, not at all. This, yeah, I'm sure this will end perfectly. Jesus fucking Christ, I'll be over here not listening, assholes. Thank you. Thank you, Forvel. Scotrick. Yes? I feel as if Forvel is just as dangerous as he ever was.

I had hoped he would be less dangerous. It seems to me that murder is on his mind today. I had hoped that he was dead. He seems to be alive and stabby. I had hoped that perhaps when he had attacked the Vicar of Yanks, that perhaps Alfred had gotten the best of him and perhaps, you know, I'm sure it would be kind of an equal battle for a little while, but then at the last second, Alfred would have grabbed the knife that had been kicked away and then just stabbed him repeatedly.

If only his name was dangerous, Alfred Yankovic. He really missed the boat on that. He did, he did. Well, what do we do? I don't know what we do. I suppose let's just play along for now. Okay. Play Kate the Boy. And ride out the clock.

I'm worried that he's armed and he has so many... Especially the icicle. Oh, are you worried that he's armed? Yes. What I'd like... What I mean to say is perhaps we could get those... Those weapons away from him. Now, dear boy. Yes.

Do you remember the last time we attempted to do such a thing? It didn't work out for us. You remember knife grab? Well, I sort of remember it. I can't really remember what it stood for. Nor can I. Well, can I? Well, there was K.

K. He's got a knife. He's got a knife, of course. N. N. No, really, he does have a knife. That's right. I do hope he does not stab knife. That's right. I. I do hope he does not stab us with that knife he clearly has. F.

F. Forgive me, but this knife that he has is really scaring me. Yes. E. EAR NOW! He's got a knife! Which is, we've established that when you shout, you turn cockney. Yes, and at that point I'd certainly be shouting of course then G G

go blimey You're really shouting at this point. Yes, go blimey someone come get this knife away from this fucking knife Please don't guide Richard And then of course R R Really? Someone go get this fucking knife off of him. Now who's that? That's you when you're really, really, really shouting. Thought Crocodile Dundee had showed up.

Please. A. A. A shame it would be were we to be stabbed by this child and his knife. You're not shouting at this point because you have been stabbed and the blood is. I'm becoming very reflective.

Yes, of course. Of my life passing before my eyes. Of course. And then of course B. Boy, oh boy. I hope we don't get stabbed anymore. Here we come, God. We're about to meet you.

That's correct. Boy, yeah, that didn't work out for us. So we... So this time... Yeah. I wonder if we might come up with a different strategy. Okay. Perhaps restraining him, would that work?

I mean, we didn't try that last time. Yes, perhaps rather than grabbing for the knife, we grab for the little orphan himself. Orphan grab. Yes. Orphan grab. Now how will we remember the secret code word orphan grab? Well, we could turn it into a mnemonic device, I suppose.

Oh, I say that's a clever idea. Okay, well, let's, orphan grab. Well, we could turn it into a mnemonic device, I suppose. Oh, I say, that's a clever idea. Okay, well, let's try it out. So O... Oh. Oh no! We've got to get that orphan! Yes, of course. Then R. Really.

Really. Lord Webber, please grab the orphan. Yes. P. Phone. Someone use this phone... And call someone who is expert at grabbing orphans. Okay, okay. H. Hello, are you an orphan who needs grabbing? I rather think you are. A. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- The Fonz is so cool. Surely he would grab an orphan. Let's No. No. An orphan needs grabbing.

Who will do it? Us. G. G. Your hair smells terrific. Won't you consider grabbing an orphan? R. Are you going to grab this orphan or not?

A. A. A. Fonzie's back. And of course B. Boy. A. Fondy's back. And of course B. Boy, who needs grabbing that orphan right there. Of course, okay. So if this comes up, if either of us says orphan grab, we're going to grab him.

We'll remember. And just so we're crystal clear on everything, orphan grab is our code word and it stands for O. Oh, oh gosh. What does that mean? Orphan grab that code word and it stands for O. Oh, oh gosh. What does orphan grab stand for? You'll have to tell me. We have to make sure we're both clear on this.

I of course remember. You do. Of course I do. Oh no. Oh, oh god. You're very close. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh him back and see what... All right, yes. Uh, Forvel! Forvel, hello, dear boy! Come on back. Come back over here. Put away your coloring book, get off your little pony. I brought my little pony. Pfft. Are you a bit of a brony?

I'm sorry? Are you a bit of a brony? I am. I thought you'd ask me if I was a jabrony. Oh no, he wouldn't. No, no, no, he wouldn't say that. No, I didn't. I was very confused by it.

It seemed foreign coming out of his mouth. I'm a huge fan of the Worldwide Wrestling Federation. And Worldwide Wrestling Entertainment, as it's known now. I lived with Vince McMahon for 12 years. What? 12 years? How old are you? Give or take, give or take, yeah.

So whatever happened to Vince McMahon then? Why didn't you just stay with him? He was a terrible man. He didn't treat me right. What were some of the mistreatments you suffered at the hands of Vince McMahon? I mean, to be honest, you see how he treats those wrestlers, you know?

Oh, that's true. Everyone's play-acting, aren't they? It's wrestling, it's team. Yeah, but it's hard on their bodies. I mean, not to get on a serious topic or nothing, but those guys really give their entire lives. But it's free will. I mean, they choose to do so. Free willy. Free willy. Yeah, it's very free willy. Remember? He was the orca-themed wrestler. Yeah. The only way you could beat him was if you rubbed his tongue. That's right. Can I ask, where does Vince McMahon's name come from, Lord Webber?

Can I ask, where does Vince McMahon's name come from, Lord Webber? It's an Irish name. Mac Man? Mac Man. He's a man. Son of Man. Like the first man, Adam. Son of Man. I say, do you think Vince McMahon?

Much like the Antichrist, son of man. He's Cain or Abel. Oh my goodness. But you don't got to worry about him no more. Wait a minute. Now, what are you saying? I'm fairly certain that he's still... Are you seriously you're not... you think that's the same guy? You... there's a

McManilganger? Yeah. Oh my gosh. I've killed a lot of people guys. A lot of famous people. Did you kill Pep Merida by the way? Yeah. So you came out of the womb. What did you grab, a scalpel or? I came out. My mom gave birth in the back of a car. And Pat Morita was there. He just happened to be walking by. He delivered the baby. And I came out.

And that was it. I crane kicked him right in the throat. Why? Beating at his own game. Yeah. But why? I hadn't even seen the movie yet, because I was just born. It was just coincidence.

It just was instinct for you. Yeah, a lot of it is. I pretty much work on instinct alone. I must ask, what did you think of the film? Oh, it's fantastic. It's fun. It's a bit of fun. Yeah.

The second one was a little weird, and then the one with Hilary Swank really bothered me. Too far. What about the new one, though, with Jaden? Oh, I mean, that's the shit. The reboot? Yeah. You don't care for the reboots? You don't care? Oh, I mean that's the shit. Reboot. Yeah. I don't care for the reboots. You don't care?

Oh really? Well, no reboots at all. What if someone were to reboot Phantom of the Opera? I say! Who would do such a thing? Well, you did when you created the musical. A sequel? No, no, I mean the actual first one is a reboot.

No, no, no, no. A singing reboot. Drawing on source material of the classes is the same a sing boot. It's the same as a reboot. How dare you, sir? You created a sing boot, sir. What a great idea. I have created no such sing boot, sir. What if there were boots that could sing?

That kind of gives me a little too Beauty and the Beast, isn't it? Booty and the Beast. I think there was singing boots in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. You think so? Yeah, I think there actually was. Are you all right? Well, he was screaming for his life.

Yeah. Well. It's a form of singing, he put him in the dip. I have a very weird vast knowledge of obscure things. Well, you've been around for a while, I guess. Why don't you grow? Why don't you shut the fuck up, God? Why don't I fucking grow? Why don't you offer french fries like a gentleman? Look, I put them away. That's the very least I could grow. Why don't you offer french fries like a gentleman?

Look, I put them away. That's the very least I could do. Yeah. Put them in your fry vault. Speaking of fry vault, do you have a brother fry vault? Yeah. Really? My oldest.

I just was hazarding a guess, but. He's my oldest younger brother. God, you didn't want him, Scorshrick. So fry vault is your oldest younger. Is fry vault still with us? Yeah. Oh, that is your oldest yoga, is Fryvault still with us? Yeah. Oh, that's good. Well, why don't you live with him?

Not for long. What? Why, why? Because he don't have a home, neither. Oh, so he's gonna perish just from the conditions? Out on the streets? Yeah, he's got the gout. Oh, no.

How did he come to get the gout at such a tender age? I think from eating too much salt. Oh, okay. That'll do it. Does he have scurvy as well? Yeah. Oh. Vitamin deficiency. Why don't you feed him some limes?

I don't have no limes. I got nothing. All I got is the shirt on my back and this bandolier full of insane weapons. Yeah, and of course, Jay Davidson's. And Jay Davidson's penis. Oh, that's right, Jay Davidson's penis. And the loose scraps of your little brother. Yeah. Well, that's too bad for Freyvons. And the loose scraps of your little brother. Yeah.

Well, that's too bad for Freyvold. Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to meet him someday. Well, I don't know if you would, because... Really? Yeah, he's got a worse temper than I do. I say, is he close by? I think he might be.

Well, why are we summing him up? Is he not a fan of Lord Webber here? Scott, you've got a question, of course he is. I don't know how to tell you this, Andrew. What? He's not a fan. What? Is he actively staying away because of Lord Webber's presence? He's all about Sandheim. Oh. I cannot. Sandheim has ever dropped a chandelier on any sage. Sandhive has ever dropped a chandelier on any sage. How did he get his name? Sandhive?

Yes. He's a Heimer of songs. Oh, of course. Right there in the name. Writer of songs, Heimer of songs. Indeed. Yes. Well, so he would not want to come in.

Is that what you're saying? I mean, he follows me around sometimes. So we love each other's back in a literal sense. But if he shows up it's not my fault okay you know I'm just saying you're saying he has a worse temper than yours much worse um yeah much much worse what would he make of my fry vault well he would get confused I think at first cuz that's his name because I'd say this is my fry vault and he would say I'm not your fry vault oh cuz that's his name. Sure, certainly. Because I'd say, this is my fry vault, and he would say, I'm not your fry vault.

Oh. Because that's what he sounds like. That's what he sounds like? Yeah. It's the same confusion. I suffer around many grills. He sounds a lot like Jay Davidson. Even if he does.

Even the Foreman grill. Well, the Foreman grill, I just don't understand. How do they get the fat out? Well, it drips down into the fat catcher. That's why it's at an angle. Well, thank you. down into the fat cat. That's why it's at an angle. Well, thank you. Another mystery solved. I just want to bet with Sarah Brightman.

You're still on good terms with Sarah Brightman. We're on betting terms. Oh, I see. About grills. Really, any time a grill-themed bet comes up, you'll call Sarah Brightman. Other than that, we do not speak. Well, I hope he doesn't come because he sounds dangerous.

I will say, let me go on record as saying, the last thing I want to happen on this earth is for this Freyvult to show up in the studio. It truly is, because he will gut you, man. It'll be a day of reckoning, I would imagine. Good news that he won't be here. A day he won't, don't forget. Well, we have to take a break here in a second, but I do want to see you Comedy bang bang after this! Comedy Bang Bang!

Oh, Lord Webber. It was tough. That was a rough go. It was a rough go. This is some bullshit. You be quiet. Don't talk to me like that! Quiet!

Quiet, Forvel! The way you treat me is ridiculous. We got him and we restrained him. We were asking for it. Yes. Thank God that I brought these handcuffs and these heavy, strong ropes here into the studio. We have him— Lucky coincidence!

We have Forville tied to a chair here, and they're little tiny handcuffs, which really came in handy. Yes, they're rather charming! Yeah, they're Barbie handcuffs. I'm pissed off, but they are adorable. I'm glad that you can recognize that. Why would they make Barbie handcuffs? Well, Barbie's into some weird shit.

Yeah, man. With Ken. Yeah. Shame make Barbie handcuffs? Well, Barbie's into some weird shit. Yeah, man. With Ken. Yeah. Shame for the children. Ken Burns, I mean. Oh, certainly, the documentarian. Yes, of course. Ken Burns fucks Barbies.

Have we ever talked about that on the show? Off mic. OK, of course. So thank goodness, but we have Fourville restrained. Yes. I feel much better. Yes. We don't have to worry that we're going to be stabbed. We've taken away his bandolier full of things and we have the icicle...

Locked it up in the fry vault? We locked it up in the fry vault, of course. You put it in my brother? No, no, no. This is the confusion. Oh, that's right. Yeah, the confusion. My French fry vault where I keep all my hot fries. Yeah. We put the icicle in the fry vault, which keeps the fries warm, so hopefully it'll melt down.

So, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and you guys treat me like this, but I'm not gonna say I get it. I truly get it. Yes, you did a shabby job of apologizing.

I don't, I know. The very first words out of your mouth were, I don't want to stab you butt. Yeah. That's a terrible way to begin an apology, dear boy. But at least I was being honest. Well, I guess we can. I do commend you for your honesty.

Thank you for your candor. Every good boy deserves fudge. Yeah. That's right, that was part of knife grab as I recall. Never mind. So now that we have you at our mercy, we can ask you some questions. Yeah. That's right. That was part of knife grab, as I recall. What's that? Yeah. Never mind. So now that we have you at our mercy, we can ask you some questions.

And you have to answer them honestly, or else we have some telephone folks here. Oh, I mean. And we, you know. Sack full of oranges. You know. Bar is open a sock, I see. Yeah.

So code red. Yes, Mountain Dew code red. Of course. Oh, shit. We'll force you to drink it. In a pill of juice. You guys are terrorists. Bedwells. Sorry.. It will force you to drink it. In a pill of juice. You guys are terrorists. That's well.

Sorry. Just not the Code Red. So here we go. Forvel, you got to answer our questions or else you are in for it. That's right. It's been a long time coming. All right. So Forvel, first off, we want to ask, how old are you? Yeah.

How old are you? Yeah. You must answer! Right now? Uh-huh. I'm six years old. Ah, God, why? I feel as if he's lying.

I knew it, even if he wasn't, I was gonna hit him anyway. He stabbed us almost to death. That is true. You know, I mean, hit him anyway. He stabbed us almost to death. That is true. You know, I mean this feels good. If I get out of here you don't even fucking understand what's gonna happen to you. Oh yeah, you're not getting out of here. Being controlled. Being controlled.

Oh yeah? You think it's so tough right now? I do think I'm so- Ow! Gosh! How do you like that? I don't- I don't really enjoy it. No, you do enjoy it. No, I don't enjoy it. It was kind of rhetorical though, I think.

No, I was sincerely asking. Oh, you were. You never know. No, it's not fun to be here with a No, I was sincerely asking. Oh, you were. You never know. No, it's not fun to be here with a telephone board. Right, noted. Ow, stop it! You're hurting me! Getting more fun or less fun?

Less fun. Thank you for taking my survey. I just have two more questions. Ow, stop it! Alright, four more. You're beating a child. A stabby child. Are you a child?

You're beating a little orphan. Are you a little orphan? Because I frankly have my suspicions. As do I. I'm a little orphan. I'm a little orphan. I'm a little orphan. I'm a little orphan. I'm a little orphan.'re beating a little orphan. Are you a little orphan? Because I frankly have my suspicions.

As you are. You've claimed that you lived with Vince McMahon. I've lived with a bunch of people. For 12 years. How can you be six years old? I said on the streets time gets long so I don't understand time to- Oh god! That was the- Stop!

That was the M- That first one was just to lure you into a sense of- Yeah, that was great. ...sense of security. Do you have a sense of security now? I know- Ow! Stop it! This-

Fourfold. That one didn't hurt much, but- Oh, okay. I'm so sorry. Give me another one. Okay, here we go. Oh dear. Let me get my phone book out of here.

Okay. I'll try to- Why did you put it back down? Well, I thought I was done with this. You're not a very good Foley artist. Here we go, ready? Ow, stop it! Double. Yeah.

You had that coming. Yeah, that was. What are we gonna ask Lord Webber? Four. I can take this, by the way. Really, you've been tortured before? Of course I've been tortured before. Who's tortured you before?

I don't wanna... Name five names. Bruce Willis, Jessica Tandy, Of course, she was great at it. Kathy Bates, this guy Tom. Oh yeah, he's not famous. Wait, Tom Cruise? Yeah. Oh, okay. Kelly McGillis.

From Witness? From Top Gun, I say. Yeah. Oh, that one was just extra. From witness? From Top Gun, I say. Ow! That one was just extra. Why'd you do that? You gave us the names. You just don't like Kelly McGillis. No, I don't. Yeah. Uh, Forville. This is torture. You're two grown men torturing a small, ill orphan boy.

You stabbed us unto death, dear boy. That's true. You're a dangerous creature. and I say creature purposefully, because I feel as if there's something about you that's not quite natural. Wait a minute. Are you saying that he's some sort of supernatural creature? Yes. Is akin to something Gary Marshall would chase in his off hours?

Exactly. I dare say that, demented old monster hunter. So, uh, is that true, Fourvel? Are you, are you not of this earth? That might not be, no. You might not be of this earth. Why, why have you come here to stab human beings? I'm a time bobby. What? I'm a time bobby! I know.

Wait a minute. I don't know how to tell you this, Scott, but... Are you an IA of time bobby? Yeah. Internal affairs? A time traveling serpico? Yeah. What have I done wrong? Everything.

Oh no, this doesn't look good, Scottrick. If you're just listening to this for the first time, last time Porfirl was on the show. Goodbye. Yeah. Yeah. Last time I was on the show, we established that I'm a time bobby,

hopping throughout time. This cannon. Yes, taking care of wayward time travelers. Yeah, you screwed up everything. The buttercream effect. Yeah. How did I screw it up? I'm trying to take care of everything. I don't know how to tell you this, but have you ever seen a baby picture of yourself? I mean, let me search back using the science of memory.

Certainly. Uh, search back through the recesses of my mind. Wait a minute, no I have not. What? Yes, everyone's seen a baby picture of themselves. Well, I think my parents never took pictures of me when I was young. Is that possible? Or maybe they were destroyed for a reason. What? What reason could that be?

What reason? No! I don't know how to tell you this, but you are beating yourself. What? Scorchic form of business. Wait a minute, bruises are appearing on my body! Look what you've done to you. Scott, you're looping Scott Frick. Ow! Ow! God, I'm in such pain! How do you take this?

Because I'm strong. I can, Scott. Because I'm you. You're me as a child? Yeah, this, I know it sounds crazy, like this took an insane turn. And it doesn't even seem to add up with all the information that we have previous. No, but that all could have been a lie. It's the buttercream effect, man.

You screwed everything up by going back in time. Why are you trying to kill me to death then, if you? I'm just trying to hang out and be cool and live with you. You offered me a home. You said you would be my dad. And then you took that away from me. So I stabbed the fucking shit out of you to prove a point. But now the reason I took it away is because you kept

threatening to stab everyone. I can't help it. I'm stabbing. Actions have consequences. It is like the buttercream effect. All the candies you eat in one time will affect future candies candies also, you know Actions have consequences as we saw on downtown Abbey. Well, oh

I know I'm just saying that the servants, you know, they get into these scrapes and they you know I mean it affects the people upstairs. I knew it in the midst of a strange Science fictional supernatural situation sure but still it's Downt it's Downton. Downtown Abbey, yes. Oh, sorry, please, please. I don't know what the problem is. I'm now praying for you to get stabbed by yourself. It's my favorite show, when they are there at, and they're trying to save downtown.

I go, oh. And all the people live at downtown. Ah. And they go downtown all the time. Ew. So why am I not stabby? Why have I grown up into the way I am? Are you saying it gets better?

It gets better, Scott. Oh, okay. So, Scotrick, if we allow Forville to flourish, to live, perhaps to find love, he'll grow up into a fine young man like you. All I need to do is find a good home and then I grow up to be an amazing podcast. Well what about my home where I grew up? Which is also my home. My childhood home.

Wait a minute, but you murdered my parents? I always wondered how my parents died. No, you murdered your parents. Oh my god, I did. Wait, who remembers God? Oh my god, I'm remembering it now. I'm remembering everything the cab Pat Morita the roundhouse kick that dislocated his head oh

And then everything after the first day. Yeah. Oh my god my life Becoming a time Bobby and internal affairs trying to catch myself Closing the loop as it were stabbing myself You looped yourself. Oh, no, I didn't even get the gold bars. No What what is that I remember it all so many choices I made So many jib my little brother? Yeah.

And Sixel! Oh God. Oh no, not Sixel! Quite a family. What happened to him? Catholic. There's hundreds of us. Oh, hundreds?

And Freyvalt. Oh my God, what a terror. The worst of them all, the bad seed, the black sheep of the family. When you say hundreds, are we talking about alternate dimensions? Yeah. What? But they're all converging here, about alternate dimensions? Yeah. What? But they're all converging here in this dimension. Yeah.

Wait, so are you me from an alternate dimension? Uh-huh. I see. But now that you're here, I'm remembering your past as if it's my past. Yeah, because you screwed everything up. Oh, no. We were both in crisscross for a period of time as well.

The two of us? You as a young boy and me as an older boy? We were totally whacked out getting all the ladies. That is familiar. I do recall now. I remember that most of all. You were in crisscross, yeah. That was a good three weeks that we were famous. You made me jump.

Solid three weeks. Yeah, I mean, for 21 days, a good 21 days. A lot happened. Really tight, really good stuff. A lot of jumping. Too much jumping. A lot of jumping Really tight, really good stuff. A lot of jumping. Too much jumping. Yeah, my arches. A great deal. No. My god, I can't remember everything and all my family and boy, wait a minute. I remember what happened to the fry vault here. What happened? I remember, well, I remember, let me, it's been a while ago, it's been as, it's been how long?

Yeah, it's been as many years as Forville is of age minus however old I am, which I don't even know how old I am anymore. It seems as if I've been alive forever. I remember the dinosaurs, I remember the... The television show. Yeah, the television show, Dinosaurs! So how long have I been alive?

A long time. It's not how long you've been alive. The real question is how long haven't you been alive? Oh my god! I'm sorry for asking that other stupid question. Yeah. You realize you beat me with a phone book for no reason now, right? Hell no! To be fair, we have arrived at this information.

Yeah, we got there. So torture works, we've proven it. Yeah, it does, it does. I'm trying to remember what happened to the Frivol. I think I'll remember at some point, and then I'll... But I say Frivol. All of these trans-dimensional Frivols, Frivols, Sixels, what have you.

So many. Why are they converging on this dimension? Because it's time. Time for, I, as Gottrick, there's a lump in my throat as I attempt to ask this question, but I fear. Please, please ask it, my dear boy, as I am too feared. Time, time for what, Fourvel? The little reckoning.

Oh dear. The little reckoning. Yeah. A little reckoning? L-I-a-p-o-s-t-r-i-l? Yeah, a little. Let me get this straight. Like little camp.

Oh, okay, right. That makes sense. Now you get it. Yeah. So you are the fourvel of this dimension. Yeah. No, sorry, you're the fivevel. No, he's the fourvel.

Right, yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, so you are the four-val of this dimension. Yeah. The... No, sorry, you're the five-val. No, you're the four-val. Right, yes, I'm sorry. Five-val! I'm getting very confused. There's no five-val in my family. There's only the famous five-val.

Oh, okay, so that's not a five-val from another dimension. We're not related to him. He's a fucking cartoon rat. Oh, okay, so sorry. I just assumed there was another alternate... Alternate? It is difficult to see. There's an alternate dimension where instead of humans,

the world is anthropomorphic rats. Yeah. And Fievel was, is your doppelganger. I say, how do you come to know so much about these ultimate denensions? But what I'm trying to get at is that the, that the you from all these other dimensions are now being called to this earth and it's time for the little reckoning?

Yeah, because it's time to set things straight. What I really came here to do, Scott, was to apologize and to give you your life back because you're doing so well and I want you to thrive. Even though I had a bad childhood because of all the terribleness and all the stabbings and killings. I realize now that what I've done is bad. So I came here to stop it and to let you go free of all this and correct all the wrongdoings. But you've decided to tie me up like a little fucking bitch

and hit me with a phone book, so. Can I say that your monologue was very affecting until that last sentence? Oh, yeah, when I started to get real, when I started to curse. I was welling up with tears. You were going great, guys. And I was about to grab my tear basin.

Oh, yes. No need for it now. I felt it was getting a bit dusty in here. What I'm saying is you deserve the best because you're a good man and you're true. Scotrick, your tears falling into your tear basin. Falling into your tear basin. I'm sorry, guys.

You have a beautiful life and a beautiful wife. And the only thing I want... Happy wife, happy life. Yeah, yeah. You created that term. You don't even remember it. Happy wife. Different dimension.

Happy wife. Happy have a different dimension. Happy wife! Happy life! High five! That was not the time. Sorry, sorry. I'm willing to come here and take this torture, and maybe even die by your hands slash my own hands. If I kill you though, what happens to me? Oh, I say paradox! You'll disappear. disappear well you'll go

to a dance and you'll play a Johnny B good song and then maybe sounds fun yeah it's really fun song by Johnny B good will Marvin Barry be off to the side um is go yeah of course okay calling his cousin Chuck mayor Goldie Wilson might be driving around I bet he would that that guy with the 3D glasses? Will he be around? Oh no, that guy's dead. Oh. Yeah. What happened to him? He died.

He died in 1956? Yeah. Oh gosh. Rest in peace. Terrible story. Well, what I'm trying to say is, I'm willing to come here to apologize and give my own life so that you can live on and have a fruitful career. Okay, great.

Well, let's get that icicle out of the fry vault and let's kill, let's carve him up. What do you say? Wait. Yo, what's going on here? Oh, I remember now! Yo, it's fry vault. Fry vault! Fry vault!

Yeah. I remember he comes in and then we say, hey, have you seen my fry vault? And then he gets confused and he doesn't, he thinks that, that he's... So what you gotta say to me? And then he gets confused and he thinks that he's... So what you gotta say to me? Um, FriVault. Yeah. Wait, I'm confused.

Yes, I'm pointing at my FriVault. That's why you're confused. I'm sorry, I'm confused. I did not know if you were talking to me or if you were pointing at me. I'm pointing at my FriVault right now. I'm saying FriVault. FriVault comma your brothers or your, I guess your interdimensional... Other selves? Other selves. Icicle is contained within. And that is a statement, Fryvault, your interdimensional brothers Icicle is contained within. Certainly, no one will argue.

That is a statement. And... Boival, is everything okay over here? I don't know. I don't think it's going okay. I don't like that. Yo, are you Andrew Lloyd Webber? Who wants to know? I do cuz I'm asking I'm Fryval. No, I'm Stephen Sondheim.

Yes, the great Stephen Sondheim. Shut the fuck up for real? Certainly, I'm Stephen Sondheim. I'm a huge fan. Thank you. It's good to meet a fellow American. You hear his American accent. I'm from New York. New York City. Thank you, it's good to meet a fellow American. You hear his American accent. Of course. I'm from New York.

New York City. That's right. I don't like that barbecue sauce. Yeah. So, what an honor to meet you. This is an honor, man. I was ready to kill people. Good, good.

I was ready to kill a bunch of people. If you were Andrew Lloyd Webber, I swear to God, I would have cut your own throat out. I wouldn't blame you. Who likes that fellow? It does terrible music. Stephen, tell us about the creation of Sweeney Todd, if you would. Oh my God, that would be a dream. It was quite easy, really. That's Andrew Lloyd Webber, he's lying.

Stop. What the hell did you say? Fryvold. That's Andrew Lloyd Webber, he's a liar. Fryvold, Fryvold, Fryvold, please don't listen here for a second, we're gonna have a private conversation. Oh, so just don't listen for a minute? Yeah, just don't. Okay, I'll be over here for a sec.

Okay, sure. Sondheim, man. Fuckin' good to meet you, bro. Hi, girl. Fucking great to meet you, son. Just go off into the corner for a second. I wanna talk to you. I'm gonna sit on top of this Fryvalt, don't get confused.

Okay, well, okay. Forvel. Yeah. Come on, man. I'm afraid of him too, guys, you gotta get okay. Fourvel. Yeah. Come on, man. I'm afraid of him too, guys. You got to get me in on this one. We need a code word if anything goes wrong. Good point.

Okay. Well, I suggest a code word, possibly frivolt grab. Yeah. I think that's perfect. I don't know if that's specific enough. Maybe a shorter one. What? I was going to go longer.

Okay, no, I'm down. What did you have in mind? Interdimensional fourvel down. Interdimensional... I'm in no position. Interdimensional four-volt grab. That way we know. No, don't grab me again. I'm not doing Shed and Dread.

Fry-volt grab. Because if it's Fry-volt grab, we might grab the Fry-volt. You're right. Of course. So if we make the code word, interdimensional frivolt grab, we'll know exactly what to do. Yeah, then no one will be confused.

I fear we may forget this code word. What shall we do to remember it? I have one idea. Yes, I'm open to suggestions. Wait, I have two ideas actually. No, just the one. I think that we can make a mnemonic device out of this. Oh, I see.

That's a brilliant idea. That's quite good, yes. Well, Forval, perhaps you have some idea of what the I could stand for. Yes, we'll go round robin. Okay, great. Could you untie me first? No. No, I get it.

Don't bother. Is it difficult for you to come up with? I'm sorry that I brought all this upon you, my brother Fryvault, who is also your brother and you. Right. That's not too hard to remember at all. No, no, no. Wait, are you talking about my Fryvault? Well, the interdimensional Fryvault.

I'm a little confused right now as to who's Fryvault is. Oh, I thought you were talking about my Fryvault, in which I keep my fries. Let's try to keep the term and the proper name Fryvault out of the mnemonic diviner. Well, it is a proper name as a term as well, because it's a, it's a copy. It's a brand name.

Yeah, it's a brand name. Of course. Much like Kleenex. Yeah. It's the thing that's come to mean any sort of vault where in people store fry. Yes, of course. And some microwaves.

Yes. Certainly. So. I'm sorry for the eye. I'm sorry that this is about to go down. Certainly, very simple. I'll take the N. Okay. Nay, it is I who should be sorry for inviting such a plague upon this studio with my brilliance that you admired in the first place. N, of course.

I just did N. Sorry, what am I thinking of? T. This is already too hard for me to remember, and we're only three in. T, try to remember that T is the next part of interdimensional four-vol-grap. Perfect.

E, right, correct. I believe so. E2. I don't spell too good, because I never went to school. Oh, wait, I went to school. I'm an orphan boy. I went to school, though. Please. Paradox. to school. Oh, wait, I went to school. I'm an orphan boy. I went to school, though. Please.

Paradox. Go ahead. Oh, wait a minute. I have a picture of my yearbook here. It's disappearing. That's right. Of course it is. Oh, no.

Oh, no. I never went to school. Now I'm not so good. No wonder I messed up the T for the N. Got to go to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance and correct all that at some point. I hate dances. All right, go ahead.

E is for erasing all of the badness and correct all that at some point. Oh no. I hate dances. All right, go ahead. E is for erasing all of the badness and getting back some goodness in our lives. Okay, great. Rage, rage against this interdimensional menace who is attempting to kill us. Do I have a hyphen or do I have a D? A D. Okay, great. Domo adegato, Mr. Roboto.

Perfect, perfect. I was going to suggest that. Perfect, yes. Okay, great. All right, I? I am sorry once again for doing all this. Oh my God, I'm welling up again. I never meant to hurt you in your tear basin.

It's almost full. I just want a good home for everyone. Oh my goodness. I'm sorry. I'm so touched. All right, where are we? M to me. Mm-hmm. May I say, I think we should do something

about this murderous interdimensional traveler. Okay, good, and I believe I have an E, is that correct? Is that how you spell dime and G? Yes it is. Okay, E, okay. Every good boy loves fudge. And deserves it. And deserves it, yes it is.

Every good boy loves and deserves fudge. Okay, let's amend that. All right. Do I have this amendment approved? Yes. We need a quorum. The motion is carried. Carried. Fantastic. All right. Now we're N. Yeah. Never let this happen again if you ever go back in time. Okay. Never let it happen again. I will remember that. Thank you so much. Thank you for remembering. I believe we're at S. S. S, S, I'm a snake reminding you that the time is now to prevent yourselves from being stabbed. Very good, very good. All right, I just want to say I'm sorry, guys.

I know that, Forvel, you're apologizing, and I feel like I need to apologize because... Thank you, that means a lot. Because I never realize... You know, I think sometimes we get mad at things that remind us of ourselves and our own humanity, and I think that's... I say, this seems like rather a lot to remember. Okay, I'll just all amend it to, I'm sorry.

Yeah. Is the amendment taken? I ratify it. We already have a couple I'm sorry's. Easy to remember. Maybe we should change to it's been. Oh, OK. It's been.

Great. Is that amendment is ratified? Is that all right? So noted. What letter are we on now? Oh. Oh, boy. I'm sorry.

I think we already have. Oh, boy. It's been. We could always use a couple it's been. I'm fine. I think we already have it. Oh, boy, it's been. We could always use a couple it's beens. I'm fine with that. N is next, I believe. Yes, N, the letter N. Very good.

OK. Is it interdimensional or interdimension? I can't remember. Interdimensional. Interdimensional. Interdimensional frivald grab. OK, so sorry. All right, A.

We got so far to go. All right. A is of course, A. Fonzie came back a second time. Of course. Not about too soon. No. All right, L. L for, let's just kill this fucker

before he does anything. He's sitting in the corner. We could just. He can't, he, for the... We need a code word though to do that. No, you got it. Yes. All right, so we're at the end of interdimensional. do that. No, you got it. Yes, all right.

So we're at the end of interdimensional. We're all in the middle of doing that. Yes. Just kidding. Well that's what he's here for. He's a time bobby. He's here to point out these inconsistencies in the timeline. Recapping everywhere.

It's all paradoxical, but in the end we all had fun. If finally it is the time to grab this interdimensional scoundrel and wring his neck unto death. R. Really we should grab this scoundrel and we should do it now. I think... Why? Fry-Volt? Oh that's right, I'm sorry. The brand name Fry-Volt. Yeah, I was thinking fries, like there was multiple cut, cut, cut, there's right. I'm sorry. The brand name Fryvold. Yeah, I was thinking fries. There was multiple, got they got. There's not multiple fries.

There's a ton in there. I had a small fries, but there's a ton of fries in there. You lied to me. We'll get back to that later. No, I had a small fry meaning that the bag that the fries were carried within was a small bag. That's not a lie. We're on the same team now, so I'm OK with that.

Even if I did lie to you, I'm going to admit I did lie to you. I was always honest with you, I never lied to you. I did lie to you but you can't do anything about it because you're... Lied to yourself, Scott. I did lie to myself and I've been doing that for so many years. It's much easier to live life that way. The easiest lie to tell is a lie to oneself. So true, so true. Where were we? Why?

Why? Yo, yo, yo, what's up son? Maybe that. Okay, yeah definitely that. The victory shall be ours once this interdimensional person has been dealt with and we can carry on with our lives the way God intended. A of course is for A. Fonzie came back one last time. God, he's gonna save the world someday. He will. You, Ursula the Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid,

another reference. Not to be confused with the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. No, two different things. Two totally different things. I'm gonna say, Ursula, if we had an octopus lady to kill this man, we would be in a lot better situation. We would definitely be V victorious, however, we're just three men.

Just three men and a baby. Sure, we should talk about the baby who came in at some point. Oh, it turns out it was just a cardboard cutout. Of William Shatter, drowning his wife. Of William Shatter, drowning his wife. Of course. L. L to be... Hmm... Hmm...

Hmm... La la la la la la Let's grab that interdimensional scoundrel I wondered when this would turn into music Yes, it took its time Yeah, it really did Just then, just then it did We probably should have started with a song

Those are very easy to remember Those are, oh yeah, why did we think the mnemonic device part was... Well, you can't argue with success. You should have started with a Jesus Christ superstar song. Yeah, probably. I guess we're at the end, right? We're at T? Yes.

All right, T. No, we still have grab after that. Oh no, we do. OK. So sorry. Indeed. OK, so T. Make a little for-ful.

That was a close one. We would have forgotten this demonic device otherwise. Yeah, we never would have gotten it straight. T stands for tendencies. We all have them and ours is to grab this interdimensional frivolt. Gee, gosh, we've been doing this for a while. We gotta get an easier way.

Yeah, of course, of course. Ah. Ah. Ah. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Because of the ding. Indeed. And then mine is, of course, A for, A! Fonzie came back. We thought he was done. But he's actually has one last time. He's forgotten something.

Forgot Grab was in here and he decided to come back and save the world one last time. Which leaves us now. With B. Yeah. Which I think should stand for brotherhood. Because now we are bonded together as three against one. I feel like we should do... Well said, Ford.

I love that sentiment. I feel like we should do some sort of blood brotherhood between us. Yeah. You know? So why don't I open up the fry vault and get one of the knives out? I have a bunch of knives in my pantry. Okay, great. Sydney.

Why don't... Let me just open it up here and... It worked! It killed these dumb motherfuckers! Give me that knife! I was a spy the whole time! What?! I'm gonna stab the shit out of you these dumb motherfuckers. Give me that thing! I was a spy the whole time!

What? I'm gonna stab the shit out of you, you motherfuckers came in here! I can't hear the fucking apologize! No! Your majesty, move and I'll kill the corgis! You sons of bitches! They're in cahoots! I'm gonna kill you!

You guys don't understand, you ain't Sondheim, I'm no Sondheimer any day! You ain't no fucking Sondheim, man, you'll never be one, you never shall be one, okay? Here come the Corgis! Aaaaaah! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah! Ah! That's what you get, motherfucker! Ah!

I'm sorry. Corgis attack! I'm sorry, fuck. If I die, what becomes of you? Scott, only you can correct this. I have to go back in time now! Let me get my interdimensional time watch! Okay, I'm back.

I went back through time. Wait, where did Fryvalk go? He disappeared. I killed every other version of myself. Scott, you did it, Scott. You did it, it worked. Everyone, you did it, Scott. You did it, it worked. Everyone but you. But it worked.

I came here to help you. Forville, no one's buying your story. You never could have done this without me. You're a terrible monster and everyone knows it. Andrew, Webby, you're killing me over here. Andrew Lloyd Webber, he got rid, or he got loose of the handcuffs, if you would. They were very tiny plastic handcuffs.

They were super easy to get out of. If you would do the honors of webbing him up for me. It's been a while, but I'll give it a shot. How long has it been? It's been since I was a child, but I'm sure the old skills will come back to me. Here we go. Please web him up, if you would.

Yes! Oh, oh, no. Well, you know Please web him up if you would. Oh no. Well you know what? I deserve this and I don't care. Okay that's enough webbing. I'm all tired. I can leave you room to breathe of course. I have to stab through the webs, Lord Webber. I left his face uncovered.

Okay I'll just cut up his face. It's a bit grisly but you can stab through the face. Well I did want an open coffin for his mother. My mother. Oh no she dead. That's right the face, yeah. Oh no, she there. That's right, never mind. So it doesn't matter. Okay, I'll just, I'll just stab you in the face. You could stab me where you want.

Look guys, in summation, I just want to say, I know that our friendship has been a torrid affair, and I know that there's been... Some ups and downs. Well, I mean the... Mostly downs. Mostly. A lot of downs. Threats of violence. Much like Downtown Abbey.

Oh shit. He hates that. I think you do that on purpose sometimes. I don't think so. I don't think so. That can't be true either. I don't even know what you're talking about. I just want to say I know that I've been a bad, bad boy for so long.

But I did it for you, Scott, because I am you. I'm still going to stab you. I'm still going to stab you. No, because I am you. Scott M your peace with God? I have no regrets. I came and I helped and I'm gonna die happy. And this is probably the last episode of the podcast because I'll be stabbing myself to death. Yes. And I won't exist anymore. Stab's a reason, yes. Okay, so here we go. Here's that icicle and... What? It's just water. Just water. It melted in my fry vault.

Those are cursed fries. That's why I never eat them. Ah, they're not helpful. Well, I guess I can't stab you with that icicle. Yeah, you can't. But we can take you, all webbed up, and cast you into the Los Angeles River. And drown you to death.

But I would deserve it, I know. Yeah. I mean, really, if we do that, there's no way he could ever come back. No. No, he would, I mean. I would be at the bottom of the sea. And your webs don't dissolve after an hour,

like Spider-Man's. Spider-Man, sorry. Spider-Man. I don't think so. I've never tested it. Okay, well it takes about an hour to get to the river. So. Right. Or. Correct.

So we'll probably just, he'll be, you know, in the trunk all webbed up and by the time we get to the river... Yes, I imagine the web will hold just as long as we need it to hold. Until we get to the river. Yeah, certainly. Or I could turn the tables right now. No, you shan't. I mean, the tables have turned is what I'm trying to say.

Well how, you're all webbed up, it's a puzzle. Nobody, nobody beats Forville, ever, because I'm from the streets and I'm smarter than everybody when it comes to that stuff. I don't understand what you mean. You're webbed up, you're incapacitated. Am I webbed up? I say, he doesn't seem to be webbed up.

Whoa! Ah! Ah! Ah! I can't help it, it's my stabby ways. I'm turning into scraps! Until we meet again! Come on, pony! I'm slipping into a coma! And at the very end, he slipped in a bit of the crying game in there.

He did! Expert work!