Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Chipmunk Scream Queen (Patty Guggenheim, Alex Fernie, May Darmon)

Episode Date: September 7, 2026

No topic or surface will remain unscratched in this CBB Roundtable! Seasonal enthusiast Penise Grunch discusses Fall culch and  temporal leaf peeping. And Dave Seville talks about his complicated relationship with The Chipmunks and the statute of limitations in space. Then, massage therapist George Theragun drops much lore and admits to a secret that you may have long suspected. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Comedy Bang Bang Episode Number 9-8-3 I am become Beth, destroyer of bottomless mimoses. Welcome to Comedy Bang-Bang. Yes, thank you to Pinocchio Grisio for that catchphrase of mission. Thank you, Pinocchio Grisio. That's a wonderful one, but I don't believe it's going to stick.

But thank you so much. Keep trying. And welcome to Comedy Bang-Bang for another week. My name is Scott Ackerman. And we have an exceptional show for you today. because, you know, this week we decided everything going on, Labor Day, the rest. We decided it truly is a day where we need to refocus our minds and figure out just kind of like what's going on in the world today. That's right.

We're going to be doing the CBB roundtable this week. Yes, the table we're at is round, but the focus is squarely on the issues this. week because we're going to be talking to our esteemed panel about just everything going on. You know, sometimes you'll look at the, you know, print media certainly is dead, but newspapers these days have websites and apps, and you look at these headlines, which is the sort of a summary of what you're about to read that goes above the actual bulk of the story. It's kind of, it's usually in bold, and it tells you, sort of tries to encapsulate, within, I would say, 10 words, possibly up to 15.

I don't know that there are any headlines above 15 words. I defy anyone to find any headline above 15 words, but it usually tries to encapsulate like, what are we talking about? What are we talking about when we talk about whatever we're going to talk about underneath this story? And that's kind of what we're trying to get at with the CBB roundtable. What are we talking about this week?

So our esteem panel is going to be discussing the issues. Sometimes you'll look at these news stories and you'll be like, this is slightly out of whack. I prefer things to be a little more within my lane, within my view of how the world should be. And sometimes you look at these news stories and you're like, this is not what's happening in the past. I don't know if it's what should be happening in the future,

but it certainly is what's happening in the present, and we need to address that. Let's get to our panel. She is something called a seasonal expert. I'm not sure exactly what that is. Seasons of television. Television programs have seasons. The weather certainly has seasons.

What else has seasons? I guess if you're in Britain, they have series. They don't have seasons. So if she's British, maybe that would imply she's not talking about television, but let's bring her out here. Please welcome Pinnis Grunch. Well. Hi, Ponnese.

Oh, you brought your, you brought theme music? Is this theme music or is this just? You tell me, Scott. Um, I do. Is it any kind of season hitting you closely right now? Um, is this, I'm sorry, is this the theme song to a television show that I don't know? To a movie? To a movie?

Yes. D, D, D, D, D, D. I don't know, Frozen? Think about seasons. See, the weather seasons? Yes. Okay, because television seasons. Annual seasons.

Like the community movie. Annual seasons. Yes. What season would this, do you think, Scott? I really don't know what this is. Is this like the theme to my girl or something? Anybody. Okay.

This is the theme song. to Practical Magic. Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I saw this movie recently on my other show, Scott hasn't seen. Okay. So you should absolutely know this. I saw it about a year ago. To be honest, I wasn't paying that much attention to the music.

I was kind of... How are you feeling right now listening to this music? I mean, it's calming. Calming. Yeah, it's relaxing. Cozy. Yeah, I'm a little on edge talking to you because you're very antagonistic towards me right now. Scott?

When you say my name like that, Very accusatory. Hold this mug. Okay. Smell this cider. Breathe it in. Yeah. Sit with your blanket I just put on you.

I feel like the cider is turned. Is this? It does have, it has turned, but it's still good to consume. Do you are turning down the music? It's like now very overpowering. I don't know what's happening on the movie screen during this. I'm not a technical expert. I'm seasonal.

All you have to do, it's volume. Okay. I see. Okay. So. You didn't do any. anything do it. So are you feeling cozier now?

Are you feeling a little bit more like, wow. Honestly, the blanket, it's very hot here in Los Angeles. The blanket is kind of... But we don't care about that. We honor the season no matter what the temperature has outside. Okay, it is. You're going to put on your cozy turtleneck that I brought you. You're going to put on your little scarf in your hat.

You're going to put on your... What kind of hat is this? This is an ugg hat. This is an ugg hat. Like, I've heard of the ugs boots. boots? Is that what? Okay, so they're fur lines? They're now making big brim hats. Are they? Yes. So you're wearing your big brim hat. Am I meant to match these to my ugs as well? Yes, that's right. It's a chestnut color. Oh, okay. So this is part of fall. This is my season. This is what I'm an expert in, and that is fall. And we are squarely getting into fall now. And so that is why thank you for having me.

It is Labor Day today, and I feel like I have one last day of summer today. So I don't know that I want to be wearing this until tomorrow. I need you to take off that speed. and I need you to put on these corduroy pants. Do you mind turning around while I take off the speedo? This is part of fall is we see everything. Pinesse, I don't know about this. Come on. All right here. I mean.

Oh, whoa. Yeah, I know you're not reacting to the size of it. It's just, what, the quality? Quality. Okay. What do you rate it on a, I mean, I guess stars would be imprecise, but like. I would say this is a 18-stop. 18 star. I got to ask how many. Out of 100. Oh, no. Okay. Do you might, what do you have to cover me up with? These are corduroy joggers. Okay. Quarterly jogs and corduroy? I feel like the noise would wake up the neighbors. That's, you know, that's part of fall. I like to jogging for you. You want to wake up with the birds. You want to wake up with your corduroy joggers. Okay. So fall is not only the best and most only important time of the year. You say you're a seasonal expert.

Are you just, are you only interested in fall? That's it. I don't, okay. I honestly, I shut down when I hear about it. I'm sorry, I didn't quite. When I hear about other seasons, I shut down. You shut down. Okay, because this is my season.

This is where I expel. I don't know if expel is exactly what you mean. Knowledge. Oh, I see. Okay, it is exactly what you mean then. Yes. So, I mean, you must be very excited. Fall, technically, it doesn't start for a few more weeks.

No. Tomorrow is the unofficial start of it after. Yes. But we start now. Whenever it hits September, we start. We just start. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Well. Yeah. So you put on your boots. You're walking in the, out, we're going apple picking after this, Scott. Yes. I have plans after the show. I've talked to your assistant.

You canceled my plans? I did cancel your plans. You're coming apple picking with me. Okay. We're going to put on little boots and we're going to go stomp through the chicken push, okay? Because you're going to pick apples. And then we're going to come home and we're going to candy those apples. We're going to candy them?

Yes, and then we're going to sit by the fire and bundled up coats. Okay. I mean, and you've cleared my schedule for the entire day? That's right. I had important stuff to do today. I have doctor's appointments. There's nothing more important than celebrating what will be autumn. Okay.

And what do you love about autumn? Are you kidding me? Is this a joke? I mean, it is sort of a lighthearted, I mean, it's not a comedy podcast. It's more of a lighthearted look at the news. There's so much you probably don't even know about autumn. Did you know that frogs, you know frogs? Frogs or fogs?

Frogs. I still don't know. Frogs? Did you know about frogs? Frogs. Okay, they slow down in fall? Do they? And so you might have to help some frogs.

They slow down at their jumping pace? Their speed. As opposed to the summer? There's so much happening. Is it because the ground is so hot in the summer that they're trying to. Headlines and you're so consumed with, oh, what's today? What's happening in the news? There's so much happening around you all the time.

autumn and you're not even paying the tension. The frogs are probably dying everywhere near B because you need to be dying. Is that why they're slowing down? You need to be helping them when you see frogs. Wait, but they're slowing down and that's a good thing. That's why you like fall because they're slowing down and we need to help them. It's a time for change. How do we help them?

You lift them. Lift them up. And help them across the street. So it sounds like autumn is a terrible time because the frogs are all dying. It's a good time. Did you know that autumn leaves? You know how we all say, oh my God. they're changing their different colors or red or orange.

Did you know that? You sound like you don't like it. I'm just saying people have had it wrong. Okay. That they're not actually changing. They have been all those colors underneath the green and then they're just shedding the green. So the green is like flaking off and it's, oh, okay.

And then finally they get to show their true colors. And that's what the autumn is about. Okay. Well, I mean, I didn't know any of these things about the frogs, about the leaves, but it sounds like autumn is a wonderful time that you're very either, I mean, you're passionate about it, pro or con.

Don't get me started on the cinema that must be consuming in it. You mean movies? That's it. That's it. And are the movies different? I guess they're more Oscar worthy in the fall. Is that what you're trying to say? Who am I talking to?

You don't know fall movies? What is a quintessential fall movie? Well, I gave you one big, fat, fat hint. Practical magic. Yes. Right. Yes. Think about witches.

Think about witches. Witches of Eastwick. Think about, um, Pocus pocus. We're all looking for binks. Where's binks? Where's binks? Who's binks? I'm sorry.

Pocus pocus. Uh, uh, uh, uh, I did see that on my other show as well a few years ago. I don't, I don't recall anything about it. You should know all of this, but I'm here to expel more. Okay. To help you get back on track. Well, it's wonderful to see you, Pinesse. And thank you so much.

I look forward to hearing, uh, your, your opinions on, on, I guess, the issues of the day. Let's get to our next guest. He is in the entertainment world, in the entertainment sphere, although I don't believe he's ever performed at the sphere. Although you'd have to tell me. No, I've never performed at the sphere. Before we dive in, would you mind just finishing,

pulling up those corduroy joggers? They're like mid-thigh. Just get those thank you very much. Okay, yeah. There we go. And he is the manager of an act that has been around for quite some time called the Chipmunks. That's right.

Please welcome Dave Seville. Thanks for having me, Scott. I'm very excited to be here. So wonderful to have you, Dave. You, look, I have been a big fan of the chipmunks my entire life. Have you? Sure. I mean, from their songs to the animated cartoons, the live action movies, everything in between.

The chipmunks are a wonderful property, a wonderful brand. And you manage them, and that must be fascinating. It is fascinating. But, you know, you and I differ in one way is I hate those little creatures with such a passion. Right. They've ruined my life those horrible little things. The chipmunks.

The chipmunks. Yes, I'm talking about the chipmunks. I'm talking about Alvin. I'm talking about Simon. I'm talking about Theodore. Right. I don't like them. I don't know what they are.

I don't know how they got into my life. They're not chipmunks, Scott. They're three feet tall and they wear shirts. People call them the chipmunks. They're not chipmunks. Oh, you don't think they're chipmunks? Are they aliens? I don't know.

I don't know what they are. Maybe they're aliens who took the form of something that, you know, they approximate, oh, this is an Earth kind of thing, but they don't know the sizes. Like they saw a chipmunk and they saw a young child and they said, we'll just push them together and split the difference. Yeah, these are the types of things that are on earth. Very possibly, but they're awful little things. How did you first get into touch with them? Get in touch, I guess. I'm not, I don't know what you're accusing me of based on the way you said that immediately in this interview.

I've done nothing to you, Scott. So you don't, you have not molested the chipmunk. Not molested. I wouldn't even know how to. You wouldn't know how to. I wouldn't know how to. Okay, now it's sounding like you did. No, they don't wear pants. So we all know.

So they could if you easily. Well, yes, but there's nothing down there. You've inspected it. There's nothing down there. They don't wear pants. And when you wake up in the middle of the night and one of them is just sitting on your chest staring into you, waiting for you to wake up, you take it all in. You look at it.

It sounds like a disclosure day kind of thing where the animals are all looking at people. I didn't see it. I don't like film. Oh. What do you like? I love music. I love managing bands. Okay.

I got to ask, then, why are you the chipmunks manager if you don't like them, if you don't care for them? Well, it's a good question. It truly is. Thank you so much. I mean, I... Honestly, it's the first thing that popped to my mind and I was like, is this a good question? And then I just blurted it out, but thank you so much. Really good.

It shows you've been doing this for a while and you know how to do it. I put in my 10,000 hours. 100%. It started in 1958 and I was very lonely. It was hard to meet someone on account of the Cold War. Oh, the Cold War. Yeah, the Cold War is happening. And I thought, well, I'll adopt some pets or children or something just to kind of, like, fill that hole in my life.

I would think the choice between pets or children, it's such a different experience. Yeah, and you know what? I flipped a coin, and it landed just on the edge, and I got the chipmunks. Just on the edge. Just on the edge. So this is sort of like Two-Face, the Batman villain, whenever it's. lands on the edge, he's paralyzed by indecision. That's right. So it landed on its

edge. And I saw these things and I said, come to live with me. They appeared? They appeared. And I thought, well, they said, where the chipmunks? And they spelled C.H.I. I said, oh, that's fine. And then they came to live with me. And what I found out much later was it was, do you remember the film Orphan? 2009? No, you know, I have, I heard a lot about it recently from August Lint and another person when I was in the UK. But I haven't seen it yet.

Yeah. Well, it's basically the same thing. I thought I was moving into one domestic situation and what I got was these three horrible little beasts, these horrible little things. That's not an act. That's what they sound like all the time. Yeah. I noticed that on a lot of their music, their beautiful singing is interrupted by you yelling at them. You're screaming, Alvin.

Yeah. Do you know how it feels to be famous? All of America loves your anguished screams. I'm not saying Alvin in a fun way. Yeah. I'm screaming and pain. emotional, physical, at Alvin. Who is the ringleader?

Is he really? I mean, you're akin to a scream queen in a way. Many have said. Have they, really? Okay. I mean, this is terror. One would wonder why you, as their manager, allow the recordings to be put out into the world.

Why not just do a second take where you're not screaming at them? I don't know. It's like a lovecraftian thing. I'm barely in charge and things happen that bend space and time around these little thing. They don't have bones. know that? Really? These chipmunks don't have bones.

What do they have in there? I don't know. I think they're just like sacks. Have you ever thought about dissecting them? Or, I mean, that was the first thing that Peter Coyote tried to do in the movie E.T. The extraterrestrial. Yeah. Peter Coyote, by the way, very similar name to Dick Wolf.

Yeah, I suppose. You know? But two very different careers. Yeah, pretty different careers, yeah. And the names are somewhat similar, I guess. Yeah, I mean, Peter and Dick. No, I understand. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I was with you from the. start. I think probably listeners too. Yeah. But you've never thought about cutting them open. I did try once and that's how the Chippets came. They sprung from their bodies. Oh, really? And then we got Jeanette and

the other ones. So this is sort of like a tremors graboid situation where if you cut them in half. Does that happen in tremors? It's been a minute. I was just thinking I should rewatch Trevers. Well, you know, now that I think about it, I really don't know. Tremors is great, but I don't know whether they split in half. This may be a Calvin's Twins thing that they

were encountering. But so I feel like I cut you off and you had more to say about how Peter Coyote and Dick Woolfrey. I think I had exhausted the topic. But so, so you dare not ever try to even approach them with any kind of weapon any longer because the multiplication of all of these beings may overtake the world like the tribles or. Like the tribles or the thing from the thing. So you're a sci-fi guy. I love sci-fi. I love sci-fi until my life became sci-fi.

Okay, so up to 1958 you loved sci-fi? What are we talking of the day? The earth stood still? Yeah, that sounds right. That about it? Yeah, I think probably. The movie Them? I don't know. You know, the blob. Yeah, the original blob. Yeah. I loved all that stuff. And then these horrible little things came into my life and it just sapped the fun out of it.

So when you say tremors and you have watched Tremmers, you said you wanted to rewatch it. I didn't say I don't watch movies. I just said I don't enjoy them. You don't enjoy them. Okay. Interesting guy. I want to be a part of the conversation in the discourse. Oh, yeah. Well, that's important. It's very important to me. You know, it's why I wanted to watch baby reindeer, but I, you know, I came to it too late. I was like, no one's talking about this anymore and no one ever needs to watch it anymore. That's me with tremors.

Yeah. Well, I'm so sorry for everything that's supposed to. And they're still out there. I know the movies were out there. Yeah. They can't die, I don't think. And you're in the movies? Yeah, it's always someone playing me.

They don't, you know, I'm lucky they let me out of the house for this. Oh. They're pretty controlling. You're, they're captive. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, technically they're my wards, but it is not a, it is not a, it is an abusive relationship going the other way. They should be your wards, but it's more like they're your ward ends. That's really good. Thanks. I don't paint that on the plaque.

Would you put it up in front of them? I mean, I'm very passive, aggressive to them about how I feel. I mean, you sound more aggressive, aggressive on the actual songs. It's fucking passive as hell. Okay. Well, Dave Seville is here. Wonderful to meet you. Thank you. I can't wait to hear what you think about what's going on in the world. I have a lot of thoughts. Wonderful. All right, let's get to our third guest.

We spoke to him on the Comedy Bang Bang tour out in Nashville, I believe. And he's a massage therapist. Please welcome George Therrigan. Hello, Scott. I'm George. I'm George Thergan. Yeah, I know. We met before.

You were on the show out in Nashville. I'd just like to say it in case. I'm George Thergan. You are George Therrigan. It's so wonderful to see you. you again. It's amazing to be here, Scott. It's amazing to be in Los Angeles. Yeah. Isn't this table round? Is it the roundest thing you've ever seen? It's really round, Scott. I mean, it's a lot like a record in... Or a biscuit. Yeah, more like a record than a biscuit. Or a pie. Or a pie. That's right.

Why are pies round, by the way? Okay. It's because they put... So have you seen a pie pan? Yeah, but why do they make the pans round? Well, we couldn't cut... evenly into a rectangle. We do with cakes, square cakes and stuff. You know, you see cakes and they're all in a bunch of rounds, but then they also go like, oh, we also have square cakes. No square pies. I guess it's because everyone wants the crust, and if you get the middle part, everybody wants that crust.

Everyone would be disappointed. Yeah. Although some people don't like the crust. If you don't like crust, I don't want to be near you. You don't want to be with or near. Near you. Right, yeah. Are you in a relationship, by the way, when you said you don't want to be with you.

What? It just popped into my mind. Scott, come on. I'm very physically active during the fall season, yes. What does that mean? That means I'm very physically active. Do the math. Okay.

So your emotions are heightened and your sexual appetite. Yes. Scott, your cordial eyes have fallen down again. Oh, shit. You could pull up, please. Okay. They're back up. Thank you.

You can tighten them if you like. Oh, is there a drawstring on these? Bustering the joggers after all. Okay, how do you know so much about these pants that I'm wearing? I've been observing you. Okay. Of course, I'm a massage therapist, so I take in everybody. I see to see what I could do to help them if I had to.

Yeah, I mean, aren't, how much are you able to ascertain from just looking at someone with clothes on? I mean, you know, it's not like there are bumps on our bodies or whatever that you can go like, Ooh, I'd love to get my hands on that. You can learn a lot from the way someone fills out joggers, Scott. For example, I might have to work on, I don't know, if they can't keep them up, then clearly there's some sort of musculature issue there. I think it's more of a mental thing of where I didn't understand that there was a drawstring. Now that I know, I can then take steps to procure them onto my waist.

The point is if everybody... Yeah, what is the point? The point is, if anybody's sorrier of feeling like, I mean, in Los Angeles, a lot of people gets into car accidents. So if you've gone through something like that, specifically in this city. Okay. Look, Scott, I've traveled a lot. Have you?

Why have you traveled again? I can't remember exactly what we learned about you on the Nashville episode. I'm just trying to lay low and live a peaceful life. Right. In what city? I'm not a millionaire, Scott. I didn't, I mean, who, I don't care actually. I'll talk to anyone. I mean, I mean, billionaires, maybe. I'm certainly not a billionaire. You're not. I'm just a normal guy. I mean, Alamoni Tony is a billionaire. I'm perfectly happy talking to him. He invented her. His mom invented Gash's paper.

But, uh, yes, what were you going to say? What I've tried to say, Scott, is I'm a normal guy. Laying low, being a massage character. Why do you have to lay low? Just laying low, living a normal life out of my van. Driving around the country. treating people's backs and legs. What about the arms? I mean, that... No arms. You're a no-arm masseuse?

That's right. Has that been a problem for you? I mean, it seems like... No. No, but you say that up front or after the massage, they go, hey, what about the arms? You go like, oh, no, I should have told me. I say it up front.

I'm not going to go through that again. I say it's up front. I'm not touching your arms. They're okay with it. Everyone's okay with it? That's right. I think the are, I mean, where do you stop? Are you, do you go ahead with the shoulders or?

Shoulders are okay. Okay, but I mean, the shoulder, like right about to hear, I'm pointing at the part for my mind. Oh, Scott, come on, you know what the shoulder is and you know what an arm is, so don't pretend. Don't be cheeky, Scott. I know you know. Anyways. And what is it about arms that you don't like? Too smooth.

Too smooth. That's right. Okay, a lot of people have hair on their arms. Do they? I've never seen that, Scott. Oh, really? I've never seen it. I mean, you know, yeah.

You know, it's everyone's arms are different. All bodies are wonderful. That's right. Some have hair, some don't. I'm not a millionaire. No one is saying you're a millionaire. Now it's making me think you are a millionaire. And your reaction, Dave Seville, makes me think that you are molesting your chipmunks.

I would know where to start. So we have a millionaire over here. We have a chipmunk molester over here. They're not Jim, I'm almost about, I'm working my way into the millionaire, bailiator club because I have a line of candles and we'll get into that later. Oh, okay. Candles are great. I love to put on a candle when I'm giving a massage. Sure. They really set the mood. Sure. Yeah. Also music. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. I'm trying to play some music. What music do you play? Oh, just some stuff I've recorded just for fun. Oh, you, you, oh, that's right. I seem to remember us talking about how you, you have a background in music or?

Look, I'm laying low. I'm living a normal life. But I have a little bit of a background in music, Schott, just a little bit. I guess I play the guitar. I guess I play the guitar. Right, right. And so you play a little bit, you have recordings of you playing. I have recordings of me playing the guitar and singing a little bit, but I keep it really quiet because, of course,

when someone's getting a massage, Schott, you want them to relax? Sure, sure, yeah. So I treat them, and then they go on their way. No problem. I know the massage experience. I mean, I don't think anyone thinks that when you go in to get a massage, people then just shack up there for the rest of their life. I just mean they don't ask questions.

I don't ask questions. You don't ask any questions? I'm sorry, do you like it? What are you getting a massage? A massage. Yeah, like, is this enough pressure? Is this too much pressure? No, I don't want to know, Scott.

If they like it, they'll come back. And if they don't, that's okay. I get in the van and I keep going. you could ask just one simple question and say, like, is this enough pressure for you? And then more people would come back. I ask a question. I say, do you understand the part about the arms? And then once I get past that, we're good. And if they don't like it, I get in my van. And I go to Vegas. Wait, so you are staying in whatever town you're in, hoping that they return. That's right. So how long does it take before you kind of go like, I don't think they're coming back. Are you in every town a month? I'm in every town about five months.

Okay, because yeah, I don't necessarily get massages that often. I would think about five months. You have to give them a month to come back. Okay. Because probably, I mean, ideally we should all be getting massaged once a week. Can we all agree on that? No. I agree on that.

I agree on that. Pinnis? Yeah, I like that. And Dave and Pinnies, how often do you actually get massaged? I haven't touched another human in a long time. they don't like it. Well, when you receive a massage, you don't have to do any touching. I can't.

No, isn't it important? People are putting something on me that I hadn't intended. You didn't come in here with that. I'm just, you know, like, when I say I haven't touched another person, I meant, like, have them touch me either. You know, like, a massage is them touching me. That's touch, right? Am I wrong? I would say that in a massage, you're both touching each other, even though.

Yeah, I think so. Even though the intent to touch is. I am not getting touched. I don't know what you're talking about. Scott, when I'm giving a massage, I'm doing the touching. But you're like getting touched by their back. Yeah, do you not like being touched? Is that...

Do you mean to say that the back is touching back? Yeah. Yeah, that's why they call it a back. Is that true, Scott? It's true. Yeah. Well, I mean... You haven't thought about that.

Are you averse to being touched? I guess I look at the world. I'm noticing... Hmm. it's um it's it's turning yeah you look at the world and it's and i notice it's turning yeah yeah it's i mean it's an interesting point of view on the world well i just mean schott you've really opened my mind you seem very unconfident about saying that sentence that's just it occurred to me right now and i'm saying what's in my art i'm not a millionaire we're just a normal guy although how much do you

charge for these sessions? I charge every 15 minutes, $20. Okay, so usually a massage takes about an hour, you know, an hour and 15 minutes. I give them the option to go 15 minutes, 15 minutes, 15 minutes. And do that how many people say like, I've had enough after the first 15? You'd be surprised, Scott. Surprise because it's a high number? Then I would not be surprised. I was surprised. Well, you're doing your entire business wrong. You have to, you have to, like, figure out what the client wants and then try to meet their needs. This would be a lot easier with a manager. They'd tell me all this. Dave. I'm a manager. I would happily manage you in, in the music or in the massage business.

Is that right, Dave? A hundred percent. I would love to. It's my, it's my passion. And you wouldn't get in trouble with these little guys? I would have to escape, sure. But, like, you know, this is a direction I'm interested in going in. Well, then, Dave, If I sign with you, I'll have to tell you something. Yeah, I would assume you'd have to tell me a lot of things, like your tax ID number and stuff like that. Yeah, your loan out company name. Don't get me started on taxes. I wasn't intended.

It's the reason I'm not a millionaire, by the way. So you're almost a millionaire. I was, and that's what I have to tell you. Oh, okay. That you were a millionaire? Can you guys not listen for a second? I'll talk to Dave. Pinesse, do you mind not listening?

Yeah, what should we do? I guess we can just stare silently into each other's eyes. Oh, I brought some hedgehog cake pops. Oh, I brought some headshots. So you can look at my headshots and I'll eat your headshot. Okay, I'll see what. Okay, here we go. Dave, I have to tell you something if you're going to represent me.

100%, yeah. So the truth is, actually, I'm George Arison. George Arison? Harrison. George Harrison. George Harrison. I'm very sorry. I've been trapped in a house with these things for a long time, and I don't know

if I'm supposed to know who that is. George Harrison, I was on the Beatles, and I faked my own death, and now I go by George Statican. And they're like the chipmunks? They're similar. They're similar to the chipmunks in a lot of ways, Dave. Then this is amazing. I have probably more experience dealing with horrible little things, like the chipmunks or whatever beetles are. I can help you with this.

I mean, most of them are dead, so you really don't even have to. I just got to interject and say, like, the fact that you're alive now 75% of them are alive, so most of them are not dead. I'm sorry I've been listening. Oh, wow, Scott. The trail of trust. I'm so sorry. Pinesse, were you listening to? Yeah, I was listening.

Yeah. One of them is dead. And actually, that one is alive and is on the show a lot, too. So all 100% of them are alive. See, these sorts of things. They just can't die. I forgot that about you in Nashville. We ascertained, yes, you are George.

You ascertained it almost immediately within the first 20 seconds. I believe one of the guests, the minute you open your mouth said, are you a beetle? Because of the way you're talking. That's right. The heirs of the grand old opera, they figured it out within seconds. Yeah. Well, now that you too know my secret, I'll have to ask that you never repeat it because I'm trying to lay low. No problem.

Look, not a lot of people listen to this podcast. All I talk about is false. So don't worry about it. Yeah. And Dave, I mean, it sounds like you have a line on being George Harrison's manager. That's amazing. This is great. This is what I've been looking for.

And George, you do not want to do music anymore, though? No, I need you to manage me as a masseuse. Excuse me, massage therapist. Sorry, I didn't mean to get you excited. No, we talked before the show that the word masseuse implies dirty stuff happening during the massage. Just the French of it all. Yeah, to some people. Yeah.

Why are you pointing at yourself? With two thumbs. Yeah, to some people. Who has two thumbs and things? Musseus is in blood. Some people, but yeah. No, yeah, it is a sexual thing inherently to me. But the, this is great for me.

This is, I thought it was just coming here, talk about the affairs of the day, warn people that if you see chipmunks, don't let them into your house because then they're like reverse vampires. And then now I have... Wait, how are they reverse vampires? They put blood into you, first of all.

And then two. Yeah, because I was going to say, like you don't want to let vampires into your house. But they can leave when they want to. Like they won't leave. That's not the reverse of a vampire. Oh, it's a reverse of it. Put blood into you and they leave when they want to.

Like they come in when they're not invited. Yes. Do they have shorter teeth than? Yeah, there's, I mean, there's so many things to talk about these things. They've got a little flat like plant eating teeth. So when they bite you, it's a gnaw. And they turn into like a rat or something? Do I turn into a rat?

Do they turn into a rat? No, they just stay their horrible little things. Okay. So they don't turn in it. So not come. Completely reverse vampire. Do they drink wine? Do they drink wine?

Yeah. You know how Dracula famously didn't drink wine? I don't know if that's what he's famous for, but the... It's the thing he's most famous for, like, you know? Yeah, I don't know that. Where he's like, I don't drink wine. And then he kind of like waggles his eyebrows, like, I do drink something else, though. I think that you're so specifically tied to dead and loving it, that you have to look outside.

That's not dead and loving it. It has to be dead and loving it, he says, I don't drink wine. And then he says, ah, what the hell? And then he does. But it's based on the original Dracula movie. In the original Dracula movie, He says, I don't drink wine, wiggles his fingers. I know people can't see what you do.

You wiggle your fingers at me. But when I said eyebrows, because I'm making the motion. You have eyebrows. Use your eyebrows. I can't wiggle them that much. Because you're not Dracula. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so they're the reverse Dracula's.

I get it. Scott, if you need help making your face more mobile, that's a massage issue. You massage faces? Is that? That's right. Okay. Oh, all right. Myofascial release.

Mile fascial release. I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying. Miofacial release, Scott. Mio-fascist release, what? So you said, no, you said mild fascist release. I'm saying myofacial release. What is the first word you're saying? That is the thing that's tripping me.

M-Y-O. N-Y-O? M-Y-O. M-Y-O. I think the table's so round. It's like bouncing sound in a week. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Fasha.

Yes. That is an issue when the table is this round that the acoustics are all out. of whack. And I'm not as a rectangular tank. Somehow I've moved. Yeah. Is the table spinning, Scha.

It's a lot like those restaurants that spin. The table actually spins. So, yeah, it's like a lazy sus. It's like a reverse lazy sus. It is like a reverse. Thank you very much. It's an active sus. Where we're spinning and it's stationary.

Well, guys, I cannot wait to talk about the issues of the day. So much is going on. I just want to know. Have you been keeping up with what's, happening these days. You, you know, I just need a verbal, uh, uh, to some degree. To some degree. There's a practical magic two is coming out. Okay. So that's, I mean, that counts. And then George, uh, Therrigan, Ney Harrison. No, I'm laying low, scalt. That doesn't, if I read the news, the news will get to me, you know what I mean? Okay. All right. Well, you know, it's going to be

very interesting talking to you both. Uh, and when I say you both, I mean all three of you, but, um, we're going to have to take a break before we do that. But when we come back, oh, the CBB Roundtable, we're going to get right into everything that's going on. This is the CBB Roundtable. We'll be right back with Pinesse Grunch, Dave Seville, and George Therrigan. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang, bang, bang, we're back. The CBB Roundtable is about to begin.

The countdown has begun. Some people say, like, isn't the countdown starting? Doesn't that mean the CBB roundtable is starting? The countdown is part of everything, you know, with the CBB roundtable. No, I think they're two separate things. I think the countdown is a separate thing. And once that reaches zero, then the CBB round. Oh, gosh, it reached zero.

Okay, we're going to start. We have our guests here. Pinesk Grunch is here, of course, seasonal expert, fall fan. That's right. We have Dave Seville, manager of the chipmunks here. That's right. And victim of. Victim of, yes.

And how did you get out? by the way, this time? They let you out for this? I gnaw a hole in the drywall behind the fridge over many, many months. Oh, okay. Kind of Shawshank style. That feels like you learn that from the chipmucks. Yeah, they'll chew through anything with their horrible little mouths.

Have you ever looked at their mouths? Really looked at their mouths, Scott? No, I'm not staring at pictures of them with their mouths open. Yeah. Cross-eyed. I'm not staring at these pictures gooning to them like you are. gooning to them. This is my life, Scott.

This is my life. Sometimes I do goon to them. Oh, really? Yes, because I love to imagine little woodland creatures doing all kind of things, reading books. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I've never seen them pick up a book. And I goon to that.

Fall, they haven't gone into hibernation yet. No, they're out there reading. They're just out there in these streets. We also have George Therrigan here, aka George Harrison. Just say George Thergan, please. Okay, yeah. Laying low, not a millionaire. Not a millionaire.

Are you lying when you say you're not a millionaire? No, I'm serious. The tax man. And why did you end up needing to change your name? Was it the taxes or was it the fact that you were attacked in your home by that knife-wielding assailant? It was the taxes. Oh, it was the taxes? Yeah, I'd add enough, Schott.

But turns out if you're self-employed, it's even worse. Oh, you need a loanout company. I'm telling you. I need a telescope. Yes, Dave, you can set up all this. Oh, I can do all that. Also, Dave, you just referenced Shawshank Redemption. Sounds more or more like you love movie.

I hate it. Also, why do you say it's kind of a Shawshank? Because there's no poster. Yeah, there's no. There's a refrigeration. We're going to work well together. And I guess it's you biting it instead of taking a spoon. Taking a spoon, yeah, I had to chew through that.

So these are the major differences? They're the major difference. And also in Shawshank Redemption, a horrible movie. I hate like all movies, there were no little chipmunk creatures that I was dodging. That was a serious admission to Shawshank Redemption, I think. Honestly, it would fit it because it's a Stephen King thing, right? So, like, I can see, like, these horrible little, like, creatures. Yeah, you know, at least the Tommy Dockers should show up.

Tommy No one is going to me. I thought of it. I was like, ah, people got to follow me on that. Very validating. Sure. Well, guys, we're going to get to it. This is, of course, the CBB round table where we talk about the issues of the day. And a lot going on.

I mean, it's Labor Day. So that already implies, like, oh, okay, well, you know, obviously this is a federal holiday that You know, some people say like, well, should we be celebrating this? And other people are like, yeah, I need it. And so, I mean, there's that. I don't know that we're going to exactly get to that issue. But what going on? You know, I mean, headlines even today popped up.

I mean, you know, so I'm sure you saw all of those. So let's just get to it. Here we go. Question number one. Would you rather explore outer space or the bottom of the ocean? Penice, I'm going to go to you first. Okay. I think that I can, okay, the ocean.

Mm-hmm. Because I can take my cozy things down there. Your cozy things, meaning your blankets and... Yes. You know, they do have space blankets up there in space. I know, but it feels like it's hard to keep it on your body. Yeah, plus they're silver and they're crinkly. Yeah.

That's a good point. There's no gravity, so I would imagine a blanket just like, You'll be sleeping, you'll be all comfy, and then you'll look up. And oh, my God, the blanket's above me. Have you seen them try to eat, drink fluids in space? It's like you have to chomp down on your pumpkin ice or your pecan cortato. I don't want to do that. Yeah.

So bottom of the ocean, gravity is still there. Is it even heavier down there? It's heavier. Yeah. You're feeling you're like under a weighted blanket. The further away you get from the earth, the lighter the gravity it is. So I would imagine down at the bottom of the ocean is like everything is super. That's right.

So you don't even need like a weighted blanket. Right. You just have a blanket. Yeah. Cool. And then what about the fish and all that? Yeah. I don't think I care about them.

Yeah. Yeah. So you would just be chilling down there, ignoring the fish. Yeah. I think I'd have my submarine with my, you know. That's the way you want to do with a submarine? A submarine with a little fireplace and my blanket and my cake pops. What about torpedoes?

Are torpedoes on this submarine or just in case? Just in case? Yeah, just in case anything were to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If the asshole's coming, I'm going to kill it. Would it be like a crimson tide situation where you need another person in order to fire off the submarines, like two, you know, two people need to do?

Two-hander? Yeah. I think I can handle it. Okay. So just a one, just purely like a big red button? I think I will need somebody there because I get pretty horned up in fall. Oh, right. Yeah.

And how would you decide who goes down there with you? It would be a rigorous testing and question. Would they know the reason they're going down there? Yes. Yeah. To service you essentially? Service me and help with a torpedo. Is this a paid position or is this a...

You're paid in smooches and... So it sounds like a relationship. Are you in a relationship? I can't quite tell. I'm telling you I'm very active right now. Cool it. Cool it, Scott. Hey, man.

You're no one to talk. Oh, please. Just because I live with these things. Sounds like you're doing more than living with them But let's go to you Dave Seville Question to you Yeah Outer space or the bottom of the ocean

No question straight to space I don't think they could follow me there I think they can change their density Aren't they from there? You said that I don't know where they're from They might have just thrown You think they're from the bottom of the ocean?

They could be from anywhere I don't know what they are No one knows what they are We haven't explored the bottom of the ocean enough to know whether are the If these chipmunk creatures are down there They could be more of them down there We keep finding

new fish and shit. Always and I'm sick of that too. Have they, I remember like, wasn't the third Chipmunks movie? Wasn't that on a ship? Like, chip wrecked or something like that? Chip wreck, that's right, yeah. Yeah, so did they ever fall off and do you know, can they breathe underwater? They, they just start to adapt, right?

Like, so they can just, you cannot, once something bad has happened to one, they kind of like hive mind adapt these fucking. So they're sort of a higher stage of evolution in a way. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I hate them. So I would go to space where it's quiet and they're not there.

But I think I could still probably like telecommute in for you. Like I could still be there for you, George. Really? Yeah. As long as like the sun isn't blocking you or, you know. Yeah. Yeah. It would just sometimes.

Where in Seis? That's a great question. Yeah. How far do you want to go? You know what? I'd like to see, I think I'd like to see the rings of Saturn. I think I'd like to, like, that'd be kind of cool. It's sort of like saying the Aurora Borealis or something like that.

You know, it's probably beautiful. It's probably gorgeous up there. And you could, I have to imagine you can like maybe surf along the rings. That would be fun. I bet you could do that. Yeah. You'd have to maybe get a space suit in like some sort of silver surfer style board in order to do with jet propulsion. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That sounds fun. I think it sounds nice.

Yeah. And what if, just purely hypothetical, what if you go up there in space and suddenly you open a compartment on the rocket or whatever and then the chipmunks? They're there. They stowed away. I mean, they won't let me die, but if they, if I could find it anyway. I'm sorry, they won't let me die. They won't let me die. What does that mean? They won't let me die. You've almost died? I don't want to live this life anymore with these things. You've tried to take care of that yourself? I tried to take care of myself.

I tried to let nature just take its way. You know, like there's something. They're doing something to me. I don't know. Do they resuscitate you or is it a Groundhog Day situation where you wake up and you're alive again? It's like that, but I don't go back in time. I blink out and I'm like finally release. I mean, you are going forward in time, though, so.

Yeah, but I say I'm not going. So I guess it's time travel, Scott. So it's a lot like Groundhog Day. Scott, your dick is out again. Pulls your corner ice. Dave, I guess if they did show up and you tried to scream, no one would hear me. Yeah, what would Alvin sound like? That's not a song of yours.

That's the tagline to the movie Alien. A horrible movie that I hate. Yeah, I guess if Alvin did something I didn't like, which is everything Alvin does, then in space when he did it, it would be, it would sound like this. I also think it would be very dangerous to be in space and Alvin like, you know, there's so much that can go wrong about. there. More so that, like, I feel like if something goes wrong at the bottom of the ocean, you basically just like swim up. Flowed up. Famously. You know? Famously safe at the bottom

of the ocean. You know what I mean? Just swim up. That's all you have to hold your breath and swim up. But space, it's like, okay, I guess. Well, you have to hold your breath and try to fall down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, six in one hand. That's the nearly. All right, let's go to George Theragon. Um, question to you as well. Same question. Is it outer space or the bottom of the ocean? Well, you know, Scott, I've been to the bottom of the ocean. Oh. I lived there for a time.

In an octopus's garden? Both in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine. Weird that your bandmate Ringo was so obsessed with the sea that he sang two different songs about being underneath the sea. Like, this guy loved it. So I know his answer. Normal to me. If you knew him, it's normal.

Okay. So you're much like Ringo where you're just like you want to be down. Well, I've been down there, so I'm familiar with it, and it helps me lay low if I'm down there. I mean, outer space as well would be, although the public interest in your journey. Everybody's looking up, and they're going to see us up there. Yeah. Everyone always looks up there like, oh, look at that beautiful sunset. Look at the moon, look at the sun. No one's ever like looking down into the ocean going. No one's looking down there. Yeah. And I have a submarine.

Oh, you do? That's right. Where did you get a submarine? We all have one. All the beings. Beatles? Oh, okay. When we went our separate ways, we each got one, because of course we can't just share the one. As like a breaking up the band gift, you all gave each other submarines? That's right. It was a rap gift and it says on it.

It has the Beatles on it. Yes. So it's like kind of uncool when you're... So I can't really use it. Like, I mean, it's the same. We have a bunch of sweatshets that say the Beatles and it's, I mean, it's embarrassing. And also, of course, I'm not trying to associate with all that's hot. Right, yeah, of course.

So, yeah. So, and same question that I asked, Ponnese, what about all the fish? The fish? Yeah. I like the fish. You like the fish? That's right. There's a lot there, though.

At the bottom of the ocean? I think you have a problem with the fish, Scott. Well, I mean, I'm just saying it's different than being up in space. Up in space, you have like asteroids and stuff like that, but you're not seeing a lot of living creatures. Whereas down, you know, I mean, there's a lot of fish down there. Eels? There's eels, the squids. Giant ones

Yeah Clams Clams Sure What's else Jellyfish Shrimp Enetam

Scram Octopus Yep I think that might be it Calamari Oh Calabari Baracita

Sushi Barakota Sushi Sushi Yeah Nizieri Nisieri Nigeri

Nogiri What else What else There's So I mean There's a lot To eat That's right

Oh no I'm sorry You're a vegetarian, aren't you? Not anymore. Really? You start eating cheeseburgers? Yeah, now that the public line is not on me anymore, I can be free. And now that I'm not with Olivia, I don't have to be vegetarian. Oh, that's great.

What's your favorite meal? Well, sushi, obviously. Obviously. So, I mean, say you were on death row. Okay, yes, yes, yes. Not the label, by the way, because I know you're on Apple. Not the tech company. But not, I mean, maybe we won't.

be an Apple anymore, Dave. Yeah. Can you negotiate that? The Beatles to get their recordings off of Apple? Oh, yeah, I think so. You guys owned Apple, though. Well, we try, I mean, there was a period when John and Ringo were their contract with Apple expired and then they tried to, they tried to. You guys all own the company. Where are you making contracts with each other? Well, they were trying to get Harry, Harry Nielsen on, to get him signed.

because of course he lost his contract for a while. You're all still with me? Honestly, yes. 100%. He's a singer who did the Popeye soundtrack, and he famous... I think he did more than that. He did the point.

Milsson, Schmelson, come on. The main thing he's known for is the Popeye soundtrack. I think he famously hung out with John Lennon, your band made, on the Lost Weekend, hanging out of the Trubedore getting blind drunk. Yes. I like that a weekend could be a whole year sometimes. Sure.

Anyways, that's about... Why'd you bring him up? A part of the lore is I have ADD. Mm. Yeah. That's a part of your lore? Yes. Oh, okay.

Does we mention that in Nashville? No. Oh, okay. So that... Oh, I'm sorry, you're just... This is a lore drop. This is a law drop. And this has been a law drop, Schott.

Okay, thank you for the lore drop. Well, this is fascinating. You know, sounds to me like, uh, I mean, three very different, reasonings, two very similar answers, and in fact, more than similar, exactly the same. And then one, you're the odd man out on this one. It sounds to me like Dave Seville. Nothing sinister about it. Not implying that just because you voted for outer space, that there's anything sinister

regarding that. Not a word about wanting to go up to airspace alone just and be alone for a little bit. Right. Just want to be alone. Yeah, exactly. All right. Yeah. I mean, it sounds to be like maybe...

Nothing sinister. Nothing weird. Maybe you want to get further away from the earth so that no one can find out about the weird stuff you're doing. There's no, that's not even a consideration. I mean, there's no statute of limitations up there. And what does it sound like when you yell Alvin up there? Thank you. If I was in space, it would sound like this.

Because it's silent. There's no air. I mean, inside the craft, whatever craft you're in. Yeah, it would sound like, Alvin! But that's the sound I make that sound when I'm an excruciating emotional or physical pain. Right. Oh, really? No matter who's bothering me.

No matter who's bothering me. Do they torture you? Alvin! That was in response to you. That was emotional pain. That was emotional pain for me asking about the torture. Triggering your memories. But they do torture you?

Oh, yes. Really? What's their primary method? Water borders. What do you mean fingers? They can change their shape so they become like, oh, this will help you. Another movie I hate Terminator 2 when the Terminator turns and it goes through. Morphing technology.

Yes, that. Yes. They do that and they poke me a bunch. Off it in my seat Well, those effects were practical. They didn't use a lot of the CG As much CGI as you would think. Okay.

In fact, he has a, I believe he has a twin brother or something Who did a lot of the stuff? Look, again, I hate movies so much I need to understand them. So I have watched the DVD The Making of? Features of Terminator 2

And it is a practical effect What about the alternate ending? Oh, I don't see that. Or the alternative beginning? I can't remember exactly what it was, But it was. Yeah. And Dave, to be clear, you do not like movies.

I hate them. You loved sci-fi. I love sci-fi in every So novels? War of the World Stories love it. Radio plays into it. Philip K. Dick.

All these sort of thing, graphic novels. The second there is at least 24 pictures in a second. They had movies before 1958. Oh yeah, I know, but I avoided them like the plague. Wait, so you didn't even like any movies prior to 1950s? Never cared for them. Interesting.

How old are you? Hmm. Because in 1958 you seem to be about 25 or so. You were an authoritative figure. Well, here's the thing. It's like a Shippetheus situation. Because I think these horrible low creatures are doing a regrowing my cells constantly. So I'm not sure I am the Dave Seville that was alive in 1950s.

I think I am their little play thing. Right, yeah. If every part of you is new, then am I Dave Seville or am I something else? What's your new name? I'm sorry? What's your new name? Yeah, I should have a new name. Yeah, if you're not Dave Seville anymore.

Maybe that might work if you just change your identity and came to the chipmunks and said, I'm no longer Dave Seville. I could be Dave Barcelona. Sure, but I guess what I'm trying to say. Dave Barcelona. I mean, I know you love the name, but I feel like, I'm Dave Barcelona. That's really good, Dave. Thank you. All you do is change the last name, I find.

Very cool, but I guess what I'm trying to imply is if you change your entire identity, maybe the chipmunks would let you go. Yeah, Dave Barcelona would have a totally different vibe. You should get to van. All right. Yeah. That is great. Okay, well, look, is it official? Yeah, Dave Barcelona.

Okay, all right. We're going to go to a break here. George Thergan. We're just scratching the surface, which on a car is a bad thing, but when it comes to the CBB roundtable, it's a very, very good thing as we're going to find out because when we come back, we're going to be finding out more about the issues of the week.

We're going to come right back with more Penaise Grunch, more George Thergan, and more Dave Barcelona. Thank you. We're going to be right back with more CBB roundtable after this. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back, the CBB Roundtable. We're talking about the issues of the day, what's going on.

I mean, this is the first episode of September. And, you know, some people, sometimes you say like, oh, slow news week, quite the opposite this week, because so much already it's just much. Is that the practical magic theme again? It's just September. I know, but we don't, I mean, we don't have the rights to the practical, you know, anything regarding practical magic.

Yeah. Are you excited for practical magic too, though? Yeah. It's kind of weird that they didn't use the same actors for the kids. Yeah, they switched and there's drama. Yeah, there's drama, because they're using younger kids. Yeah. Because they...

Because they... They don't want to imply that they're all in their 50s. Yeah, right. Because then it would be sad that they're still going through all of these events. It's like people in their 50s should have their shit straight. Exactly. Yeah. So get younger kids.

Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. Yeah. It is September and so much is going on. And we have, of course, George Therrigan. That was Denise Grunch, or Pinnis Grunch. I'm so sorry.

Thank you. George Thergan is here, aka George Harrison. And we also have Dave. Dave Barcelona, who is preening in front of the mirror. Your whole demeanor is changed. Does the hair look good like this with a change? Really? Well, then you shouldn't have given me the scissors because I'm locked into this now.

I mean, I think you were attempting to go for a Clooney in ER season two, but the Caesar. Do you like TV then? Oh, I love it. Can't get enough of the stuff. Gilmore Girls? Love Gilmore Girls. No sci-fi in ER, although I guess Dr. Romano's fake. arm is it is like sci-fi

I will take any opportunity to talk about it. One of the greatest moments on TV. One of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I love it. That's why I love TV. Because sometimes there's a guy that you've spent several seasons with and they just drop a helicopter on them. Yeah. Do you think that was a contract dispute or was it? I think it was a helicopter accident? Helicopter dispute. Do you think an actual helicopter accident happened on the set of ER?

Cameras were rolling. How would you do it? Thank God they have that camera pointing up towards it. I know. I bet the director was like we'll get someday we'll get something from this. And then day he was the cock of the walk that day interesting well um we are speaking a cock of the walk um we are walking towards talking uh so we're this is more of a talk of the walk um and we're going to be attempting to talk about what is happening here um with in the and i think uh we're gonna we were talking about local issues now we're going to attempt to widen out a bit and talk about the local issue?

The bottom of the ocean or the house space? We're going to widen out to more the national sphere at this point. So let's question number two on the CBB roundtable. If you could switch lives with anyone for a day, who would it be? We're going to go to

George Theragun here first. Anyone alive or dead? That's a great question. Anyone? Are we time traveling as well? So are you talking about future people who are not alive yet? Sure. Yeah, I'll go with anyone alive or dead or not yet born. I'll even go with people who were meant to be born who something happened to that.

If you want to tread in those waters. But look, it's the CBB Roundtable and all bets are off, but we are focused firmly on the issues. Thank you, Scott, for all those options. You're welcome. I guess if I had to really think about it, anybody alive or dead, soon to be born or perhaps aborted, I would choose Ringo Star. Ringo Star. That's right. Why?

During his Shining Time Station days. Right now, today. When he recorded the song, you're 16, you're beautiful in your mind? Nope, today. Today. That's right. Old Ringo star, old 80, whatever year old Ringo star. You want to be him?

performing he performed recently with the Ringo's All-Star band That's right was that at the Greek or the bowl The Greek Here in town I didn't go to see it Who was part of it was Is Peter Frampton still Involved in that band

I would learn all these things By spending one day with him And then I could come home to Barbara Okay Barbara of course His wife who he met on the set of Caveman And why So is that mainly why you want to switch places with Ringo Starr as the Barbara of it all?

Look, obviously I have a bad reputation with Ringo's wives. You're going to have to be more specific about them. Law drop. Law drop. Obviously, I've been accused of having an affair with Maureen, Ringo's first wife. First wife. But then Eric Clapton did have an affair with your wife. All's fair.

All's fair in love and war. Because, yeah, someone was trying to go after my wife. So, yeah, I did go after Ringo's wife. So if you're so into Barbara Bach, which of course is her last name from the movie Caveman. And from the James Bond's movie as well, Scott. Why not she played Anya Amasova, of course, in the Bond movies. Which one? The Spy Will Love Me, of course.

But why not be Ringo Starr then when he first, you know, got to know her? Well, that would be creepy, Scott, because of course, spiritually and mentally my age, is old and then if I went back in time I'd be dating a young woman. And the power dynamics would be off. The power dynamics would be off and I'm not a creep shot. Okay, so you want an age appropriate Barbara Bach. That's right. But because you're very into her. I'm into whoever ring goes into. Lord drop. So just and is it because you're not getting to them first or is it just purely, you know,

because you're coveting thy neighbors everything? I mean, love her, but he's got great taste. Yeah, I mean, so, so you, you prefer to see who Ringo is with. That's right. Do you consider that to be sloppy seconds or, I mean, obviously there's Marine Cox. You're into her, the hairdresser. That's right. Who married Ringo in 1965.

May she rest in peace, yes. Yeah. Of course, she passed away in 1994. Do you think she got to hear Nirvana's never mind? or Pearl Jamms 10. Oh, I hope so, Scott. I really hope so. Look, I haven't really been in the music scene in a long time.

You know how Judy Dench is like really upset that Kirk Cobain didn't get to see the iPhone? Is she really? Yes. When did she say that? She said it many times in multiple interviews. So. Uh, yes. Uh, yes, she has said that in multiple interviews.

I just had to check. She has. Um, but, so, so you want to be Ringo now. Just for a day. Just for a day. That's right. What if, I mean, what if that particular day, Barbara Bach, you know, is not interested in having sex, you know, maybe it's, uh, obviously I would respect that slot. Jesus Christ.

Cool it. But you would. tried to if she was into it. Of course. Well, I guess now is it a problem that she would think I'm Ringo? Yes. Yeah, that's the... Yeah, let's not get into all that right now.

So you're not going to... So the safest thing would be... Dave, I'm feeling. I'm feeling what you've been feeling. Hey, he's coming on strong. The safest thing would be for you to not have any interaction with anyone that Ringo knows because it would be akin to a lot. But I would know that I was married to him. What if you said, hey, Barbara, I just want to tell you, I took Ringo's place for the day.

This is George Harrison. Are you interested in having sex? Yes, I would do that. You would do that. Okay, great. And what if she were to say, this is something out of a sci-fi movie, science fiction, of course? I'd go, oh, you like movies, Barbara? Let's go see one.

Yes, let's go see one. What's out right now? You know, there's a coyote versus Acme? Oh, we would see coyote versus Acme, Scott. It's a great idea. I like that. It's short. So old people, you know.

You've seen it? I have seen it. Yes. Very good. Yes. But I'm just saying it's, you know, it's not like one of these three and a half hour killers of the flower moon type things where you're just like, God, can we get out of here and go, you know, get down to business. It's, you know, it's relatively short. It'll get you kind of in.

I mean, it's no practical magic, Pinesse. Yeah. Are you still with this, Penaise? I noticed you're scrolling on your phone during both of that. No, I was just getting some updates. Oh, what's going on? The Starbucks calendar just dropped. Oh, it didn't calendar.

For what the drinks dropped. Oh, I thought when you said Starbucks calendar, I thought you meant the 2027. The Starbucks drink calendar. Drink cal. Okay, what's going on? Well, the pecan cortado is out today. It's out today. Yeah.

Oh, great. And what is a pecan cortado? It's pretty much how it sounds. Oh, okay. I mean, it sounds vaguely Italian. It's a cortado that has pecan flavors in it. Okay. And then the pumpkin foam matcha is dropping next week.

That sounds disgusting. I mean, anything with matcha is disgusting, but. Have you had it with heart foam? Sorry, what? I have just stood every word. Have you had it with pumpkin foam? We're used to dealing with these very high-pitched chipmunks. Horrible things, yes, they're not chipmunk.

I'm not macho, no. I don't think I'll try and then let me know. You think we'll get that when you come back from getting apple-picking. It's like saying like, hey, have you ever eaten diarrhea? You're going to have it. Okay. All right. Well, Ponnese.

Uh-huh. I know you went back to the calendar. You're very excited about that, but I do need to ask you, you know, about this question. If you could switch lives with anyone for one day, who would it be? Lorelae Gilmore. That is a character on the television show Gilmore Girls, I'm assuming. That's correct. Which actor portrayed that is up?

I don't know. Is that Lauren Graham? That's Lauren Graham. It's very confusing to have a character name so close to the actor's name. Loram Lime, yeah, you're right. You know? Yeah. They should make it different.

Yeah. Well, I don't care. Yeah, that seems like a very fall. I've never seen it. It's a fall show. It takes a high in England. It's during fall. It's always in the fall?

It's always fall. They're cozy. They're drinking coffee. They're having their drinking. And so they have a good relationship as a mother and daughter. Yeah. They go through trials and tribulations, but you can tell the foundation. There, Scott.

That's right. So you love this show. I love every TV show. And I guess I'm wondering, I'm hearing, Lauren Lay is what you said. And then you said. No, Lauren Graham is what I said. No, but you tried to say, what's her name, the characters? Laura Lay.

Okay. Laura Lai, is that how you say it? No. Lori Lola. Laura Lai. Is it Lorelae? That's what I thought was. That might be it.

What's happening? I don't know. I don't know why you're confused. Late 60s Richard Harris for me. Late 60s? That's who you're switching with? Yeah, the era, not the age. Okay, what did he achieve in that era?

Oh, he had done Camelot. He's tearing up the West End. But really, I would take anyone who isn't me. Okay, but why, I mean, great, yeah. I can understand that. Richard Harris in the late 60s, why? Yeah. The swing in 60s.

Swinging 60s, British, the star of stage and screen. Sex. singing someone left the cake out on the rain. That's coming later, I think. Okay, I haven't heard it. You haven't heard of MacArthur Park? I've heard versions of MacArthur Park, not his. You do a cover of it, George.

We're not doing music. Oh, that's right. Sounds to me like you have a very basic misunderstanding about what you're covering when it comes to managing. Well, I feel like when you're massaging someone, you said sometimes you sing, that might be a nice, peaceful one. And it's a long fucking song. I guess I do need background music.

Yeah. But I guess I need something cozy, so... La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la that's coming to find you do you think? Are you looking for management? Yeah. This is incredible. This is a good day. If you can just...

I mean, are the chipmunks... Dave Barcelona is killing it. Are the chipmunks coming to find you, do you think? They don't really... They just appear. Yeah. You know, they're, they just kind of are somewhere, and then suddenly they're somewhere else, so you can't, they don't move linearly through time. Do they, did you share your location with them or anything like that?

Do they know where you're at? Uh-uh, but they've probably found the hole behind the fridge at this point. Okay, so they may be on their way. They may be on their way, and I'm sorry for whatever happens to you. Oh, I don't know. Why would anything happen to us? You haven't seen these things in action. Really?

You've mentioned that they change shapes, that they use sort of akin to Terminator to morphing technology. But fleshier. Flesier in what way? They're furry. Sometimes they're furry, but if they really want to get you, the fur goes away. Fleshier than what? A metal robot. Got it.

I mean, the morphing technology, they used it famously in the Michael Jackson, Hee, black and white video. That was one of the biggest examples of it. And that was mainly flesh. You had Tyra Banks there. That's right. Yeah. You ever met Tyra Banks?

No, I've never met Tyra Banks. Anyone else? Never met Sir. Yeah. Penise? I met her one time at Lidoo. Where is Lidu? It's a club in Hollywood. And what were you doing there? What was I not doing, Scott?

And then what was the meeting like? What was she doing there? And we were dancing. You were dancing together with Tyra Banks? We were doing shots. What year is this? This was 19, 27. This is next year? Wow.

Wait, are you a time traveler? Yeah. Oh, interesting. So are you time? I'm in fall next year and it's fucking amazing. Oh, wait. So are you only experiencing fall? Is that why you time travel?

Yes, I can't do other seasons. I time travel from fall to fall to fall to fall. I've only done falls. So you're currently in 2026 fall. Are you going backwards through falls? No, I'm in, no. Did you start in the future? Why are you confused?

I already hung out with Tyra Banks in 2027. Yes. So are you going backwards? Did you start in like 2076 and you've gone then to 2075? No, I had to hop. You just hop back and back. Okay. So what's like the furthest you've ever been?

I've been to 1860. That's backwards actually. But that is far. Oh, how far have I gone up? How far in the future? Yeah. 3,090. What's the world like then?

It's rough. Really? But really nice where I live. Oh, okay. So what is it? Nuclear fallout? It's like most places are desert land. I'm sorry, is it suppressing?

Oh, no. I mean, I'm fascinated. I mean, that must affect fall. Well, that's where I stay in where it's fall. Is it like a biosphere? New England's untouched. Oh, why did they not touch New England? That's so interesting.

Just left it alone. Yeah. Huh, that's cool. Preserved. Do they have like a big enough wall or something where the nuclear winter couldn't quite get over it? Yeah, there's a little bit of a dome over it. Oh, cool. Mm-hmm.

And you go back to see other, like a temporal leaf peeper, you are going back. Yes. I peep all falls. Okay, cool. Wow. And you've gone all the way back to 18, what was it? 60. 1860.

What was that like? Oh, my God. Amazing. Making our own butter, doing our own pumpkin butter. Yeah. And was Lincoln the president then? Yeah, there's still slavery. Well, that wasn't great.

Oh, okay. That's not the good part. Yeah, I would say the main thing about slavery is it wasn't great. No, it's horrible. But I... It's only because you said immediately that it was great. I wasn't getting a lot of news because I was just on my farm making my better. Kind of trad wife style.

Are you, is that what you shoot for? Is that... No, no, no, no. I'm not trying to do all that. Right. But at that time I was. Really? Okay. So, but nowadays you're a modern, I mean, you're a time traveler. What year were you born?

I was born in 1906. 1906. And how did you come across this time machine? Did you invent it? Well, I, no. I mean, I wish I could say that. My dad did. Your dad invented a time machine. Yeah. When you were at what age? I think I was three. Oh, cool. So you did experience winter and summer.

I hated it. Right. I was like, give me a heck out of here. Okay. So then at three, he invents this time machine. What does he do with it? Does he go back in time or anything like that? He's in winter of 2020.

Oh, he's a winter. Yeah, he went her. Oh, okay. He likes winter colors. Why is he in 2020? It seems to me like that wouldn't be the winter that I would want to go to. Why? Awful.

Winters I can imagine. Wait, yeah, no, that's a, either way, come to go. Yeah, it's a terrible one. Either bad's coming or. Yeah. It's here. It's just before. Or just after.

Just before it got bad. Oh, I guess. No, no, Winder of 2020 is like right in the thick of it. And then I guess I'm, am I the youngest person here? No, you're the oldest, George. No. Well, I don't know. Honestly, I don't know, Penny's, how old are you?

I stay about 25. Okay, because you're only living three months at a time. Yeah. So, yeah, so you've, you've 25. That means you've been through 100 years. Yeah. Oh, you visited 100 years. I mean, if we're just looking at the years, everyone was born, 1906, and then...

Reborn constantly, so it's hard to say. Yeah. And then, but you were born in probably the... 40. No, yeah, the 30s. 39, 43, something like that. I'm going to... 41.

39. It's foggy. It definitely was 1940. Pretty good. I was pretty close. I mean, you said almost every decade. Law drop. It's not a lore drop when it's on your Wikipedia.

My what? Your Wikipedia. Do you not know what Wikipedia is? No, I've been laying low. I've been kind of... Looks hot. I'm not a millionaire. No, okay.

We know you're the qualities of what... Okay, look, I have to... Dave, did you answer this? You did. Richard Harris. Richard Harris. In 1960s, West End. Was he in the man who could be king or...

Was he? I don't know. I don't like movies. He's Irish, which is great. Jared Harris's father. Sorry, Jerry Harrison, the... Absolutely not. Not the talking heads.

Jared Harris's father. Oh, Jared Harris. It's this round table. Yeah. It's just bouncing the sound around. Yeah, I mean, he wasn't married to Anne Turkle yet. No. And I would want to get him before that.

Really? While he was married to Elizabeth Reese Williams. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Would you announce that you, who you are? before trying to be intimate with her. Can I have you guys not listen for a second? Oh, yeah.

What should we do? Oh, did you bring any headshots? I do have some headshots. Oh, yeah, can I see this? And I brought some hedgehog. Cake pops? Cake pops, yeah. Okay, great, let's trade.

Did you like my sweater in this? Oh, yeah. I like how you're a doctor in this one. Yeah, and I'm playing tennis on this one. And you're a lawyer fanning yourself. Yeah. No, we'll be quiet. I don't think so, no.

There's too much to explain. Hmm. You know, I understand that. I think we'd have to part ways then as a... Hmm. So that's the make or break, whether or not I tell Richard Harris is this late 60s wife. I think that's the line.

I just feel like it's going to be hard to be like, I'm the guy from the chipmunks to her and have her understand. You know, like maybe if you were to do it first and explain how it went with Barbara, you could pass some of the information on to me, and then I could do that with Richard Harris. As long as you promise, you'll do that. Absolutely, I promise. Okay, we're back in.

Hi, guys. Hi, so. So I just want to be clear, Dave Seville, or I'm sorry, Dave, Barcelona. Barcelona. You want to be Richard Harris around the time he's filming the role of Kane in the Bible in the beginning. Oh, beautiful. Love it. I would love to play Kane.

What do you think he wore in that movie? I want to do a Google image search. And also look up who's able because that's interesting thing. Okay. Kane, the Bible in the beginning. We're going to do a Google image Talk some more words in that search. See what happens. Looks to me like he's shirtless

For the majority of the film. Like you right now. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's interesting. How interesting. Wow. And let's see who plays Able in this film. Franco Niro. Oh, hey, sign me up.

Franco Nero, absolutely. Yeah, that must be fun. He was in Django around the same time. Spaghetti Western. Yeah. Okay, this is great. But I can't tell you how much better Dave Barcelona's life is than Dave Seville's was because I'm not dealing with those things. Well, as long as they don't show up here.

As long as they don't find me yet. And hopefully they won't by the end of the show. I very much hope they don't. Well, guys, I think we got to a lot of what I wanted to talk about here. I mean, it's definitely some interesting stuff that I... This is hard hitting. I feel like it's like we didn't solve anything necessarily, but we kind of got close. I really do. I feel like we, at the very least, we came to an understanding about the various points of view that are going on in the world today.

So I want to thank you all for performing in this CBB roundtable, but we are running out of time. We only have time, really, for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Open the plug bag, I see. The plug bag is open. Listen to people start to give a spiel of promotion. Wouldn't you like to listen to a narrative podcast? I will listen to the whole show, all the five episodes, and then I'll look up your IMDB. Wow, that was always plugs by Will M. Will M, I wonder what that M stands for.

Soul-Full. Yeah, I don't think it stands for soulful, but... Thank you, Will M. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs, and you can upload your opening the plug bag themes and you can remix all of the stems are there for the remixes for the closing theme. And what do we plug in?

I want to go to Ponnese first. What would you like to plug? I bet the M's for Maple. Oh, that's nice. That's beautiful. Yeah, maple is a nice fall. Yeah, and a flavor. A syrup.

Yeah, I like the real stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah, put me under a tree, got my mouth open. Yeah, just tap that tree. Yeah, tap it. What do we plug? Where can plug? Well, a show that is on Netflix

and you can still watch it. It's called The Hawk that's been on. If you haven't watched it. The hog? The Hawk. The Hawk Cook. Not Hitchhog. Cake pops.

Is this the biopic of the Hawk toa girl? That's right. Yeah, she has a wonderful story. Her crypto rugpole, everything. A gorgeous story. Yeah, what a tale to be told. Yeah. Seems to have disappeared from public view.

Well, she's alive and well on NetFoe. No, it's called the hawk. The hawk. And this is the Willfairal golf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you haven't watched that, watch that. Okay. And then can I plug one more thing, Scott?

I would love that. So in the fall, November, at the YouTube theater, Alanus Morissette, we're going to be doing our show, Butterfly with a Machete. That's right. Ponnis, you're part of this show with Alanis Morissette. That's right. That's going to be fantastic. What day do you know is?

November, I think. think it starts the fifth and then it goes through like the 12th or 13. And this is sort of a, what type of show is this? So we did a residency in Vegas and so this is like music, some storytelling. It's just all the best, her best music and then a lot of good storytelling. All right. Check that out in Los Angeles at the YouTube theater. Dave Seville, or sorry, Dave Barcelona.

I think the M stands for Madrid. And what I would like to plug is. Very interested in Spanish cities. Best ones. Have you ever been? No, gosh. No, I'd love to. I mean, now's your chance.

That's something Dave Seville couldn't do, but Dave Barcelona? I don't know how you're going to get on an airplane without the proper identification, but... I can do it. Okay. Yeah. No problem. You can stow away on a ship like the chipmunks did and chip wrecked. I'm going to be able to follow me there.

You're right. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, you got to go to outer space. Yeah, I got to go to space. It's the only place. All right, what do we plug in here? There's a movie in the works called the...

greatest treasure in the world with people like Paul F. Tompkins and Vic Michaelis and Drew Singh, created by Chauvin Thompson and Izzy Rowland. And there's a Patreon at patreon.com slash salteen, California that you can follow that has a lot of stuff about the making of it and information about it. And you should check that out for when the movie is done. It's going to be cool. Can't wait to see this movie. All right, let's go over to George Theragun. What are you plug in here? Well, I think the M stands full. Me mine. Me mine, which is one of your, one of your songs.

Part of it. Yep, because it's I-Me-Mine, is it? That's right. And I guess I'll plug, come to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and watch Herald Knights. This is in Los Angeles. In Los Angeles, specifically a team,

I think they're called Yikes. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah, wow. I saw them recently. I don't know. I like them. Okay.

Oh, so you're not laying low so much that you're not going out to see like... Trust me, that's laying low. Well, I want to plug, hey, look, we're back out on the road this week. Tuesday night, September 8th, we're in Denver at the Paramount Theater. And then on September 9th, Wednesday, we were at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. On Thursday the 10th, we're at the Aztec Theater in San Antonio. And on Friday in Austin, we have a show with the... the very odd riverbend center where our show got moved to,

which looks to be a very interesting building that I can't wait to see and talk about. We have a wonderful group out this week, so I hope you'll come out to see us. All of the tickets are there at CBBWorld.com slash tour. And also, September 19th, we have the big L.A. show. That's going to be really big here at the Orpheum. And then our final shows, I believe our final shows, We have in October. We have October 6th in Huntington, New York.

October 7th is our rescheduled Boston area show in Medford. And October 8th is our show in Troy. So get all those tickets over at CBBWorld.com slash tour. And while you're there, you can become a subscriber. All of the tour episodes are going up the very next day for Maximus subscribers. Plus, we have so many other shows. We're in the middle of a crisis on Infinite Bang Bangs. A new episode of that just dropped.

So check that out. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Gorgeous. That was... Maestro Sweet Chat performs Mahler's Symphony No. 2 by Chummy Scrubles. Thank you so much, Chummy. And guys, I want to thank you so much. I really think that we approached the issues here.

Ponnese, wonderful to see you. What year do you think you're going to... I mean, obviously you're here in 2026. Yeah. Where do you think you're going to go next? I'll go to 2002 for a little while. 2002. You've never been there.

That's really when like fall started dropping hard. Yeah. I would suggest. Fall Colch. Yeah. Stay away from fall of 2001, maybe. Yeah. No.

Weird shit went down then. Yeah, that's right. That's kind of rough. Oh, you've been there already or I guess you've heard about it. Yeah, yeah. I know it. Yeah. And by the way, I mean, who, like, you know so much about all.

of our futures. How do we all die? Oh, yeah. You guys, live in every single moment. Have so much fun, cozy in, and just be with your loved ones, make hot love. But when do I die? Oh, when do you die? Yeah.

You want to know? Did you not hear that part of the question? No, I thought you said, what should we do? It did sound like you were implying that it was very soon. So, Scott specifically, really just love every moment. Oh, God. Okay. George Therrigan. Thank you for having me, Scott. So wonderful to have you, and you're not a millionaire.

That's right. It's a main takeaway. I'm basically not a millionaire, just a normal guy. Nothing for the IRS to come after you about. It's all cash. You have a great deal of cash? No. But whatever I have is in cash and Venmo. Okay. So you're not a crypto guy? Absolutely not. That is a,

bad thing. Oh, wow. Okay. George Thergan says crypto is a bad thing. That's right. Bad things happen through crypto.

But no one wants to talk about it. Okay. Well, we'll have to save that for the next roundtable. And Dave Seville, or sorry, Dave Barcelona.

So wonderful having you on. And congratulations on the life change. Yeah, I'm really excited about it. I think everything's going to turn up for me and I'm just really... Hey, Dave!

How'd you find me? We always know where you. you are. Yeah, we found you. God. Uh, uh, uh, uh, where you been? I've just been here. I'm just talking about the band. Nottie boy. No, no, I'm not a naughty boy. I'm not a naughty boy.

Have you been talking about us? No, not at all, Alvin, uh, it's fine. Uh, you can, these are just my friends. You can let them go. Alvin, what should we do with them? I think we should sing a song. That sounds amazing. No. Let's sing our song together.

Yeah, let's sing it. Davey, Davy. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.