Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Dan Ahdoot, Vic Michaelis, Casey Feigh

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

Actor and comedian Dan Ahdoot (Cobra Kai) joins Scott to talk about his new book “Undercooked,” his food podcast Green Eggs and Dan, and the original name he picked for his character on Bajillion ...Dollar Propertie$. Then, small business owner Taylor Stephanie stops by to apologize for a mistake her oil rig business made. Plus, stand-up comedian Weed Foxworthy drops by to tell some jokes.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Eat my shorts, no thanks, I'm still working on my junkos. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Deputy Trojan for that catchphrase submission and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang indeed. First episode of our 15th year, or last week was, I'm not quite sure. How it, let's see, yeah, I mean technically it was on the actual anniversary so that would have been the first episode. Okay, second episode of our 15th year, very special episode, coming up a little later
Starting point is 00:00:53 we have a, we don't have entrepreneurs on this show any longer, we have a small business owner will be here. We also have a stand-up comedian will be here. But before we get to them, by the way, my name is Scott Aukerman and before we get to those two, we have a stand-up comedian in his own right here. He's a stand-up comedian. He is a podcast host. He is an actor, comedic actor.
Starting point is 00:01:22 No drama. No drama. No drama, baby. No drama when it comes to you. I don't got no time for no drama. That's right. He is a cast member of the hit smash show, Cobra Kai, which is coming to an end with its sixth season, I believe.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Sixth season, yeah. And he is now also, in addition to being a multi-hyphenid, entertainment-based multi-hyphenid though, let me put on my ass, Scott. Tell them. I thought you were saying my ass, Scott. Let me put on my ass. You are also an author. Sounds so good.
Starting point is 00:02:00 An author with a book out right now in stores called Undercooked. Please welcome back to the show, Dana Dude. Hello, Dan. Hello. Scott, you are a best-selling author. Yes. I'm not a best-selling author and I'm starting to think that this is, you're just trolling me and that's why you invited me on the show right now.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Yeah. Now, okay. For those of you who don't know what Dan is talking about, there's this, how do I describe it, the old gray lady? The New York Times puts out a list every week of fake news, fake news, of not the best books, fake news books, fake news books, of not the best books, but the best-selling books, books that have sold the most, as we say in the bookbiz, copies or cops, sometimes we call them in the bookbiz.
Starting point is 00:02:54 The Comedy Bang Bang book, thanks to everyone who pre-ordered and who came to our events and bought the book there and bought it the week it came out, is number four on the New York Times best-seller list, an incredible achievement for an author. Dan, where was yours? First of all, I just want to say what you're leaving out is the books that you are surrounded by. Okay. So one is Mein Kampf, which is the-
Starting point is 00:03:26 Yes. It's on the list. Underneath ours. It's number five. It is number five. It is number five. And number three is Mao's Little Red Book. Little Red Book, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:38 We're right in between those two, yet you could not even make a list that those books are on. Well, is that true? I don't want to be in that company. I don't want to be in that Oreo cookie that you put yourself. Little Red Book, it came out a couple of weeks ago. It is an Amazon best-seller. That's great.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Yeah. That's something. That's something. It's a big company. Yeah. Definitely. They move a lot of books. What's it- because I know it has subtitles.
Starting point is 00:04:03 It's called undercooked, say the complete title for me. Undercooked, how I let food become my life navigator and how maybe that's a dumb way to live. Okay. So that's a long title. It is long. It is. I'm-
Starting point is 00:04:18 To regret it. That was Dickens' deal. I'm getting paid by the word. I was just filling it up. I didn't know that was such a big part of his deal. That was his deal. I knew Christmas Carol, Oliver Twist, all that kind of stuff, but a big part of his deal was getting paid by the word.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Really? Yeah. Yeah. He called it a PBTW. Okay. I heard of it. PB&J, but a PBTW. TW.
Starting point is 00:04:42 TW. He wanted a PBTW deal. There are big deals back then. A PBTWD. PBTWD. It was a big thing. Can we stop saying this? This is very hard for someone with my abilities.
Starting point is 00:04:55 But describe what the book- Now, look, let me put you into context for some of our listeners who haven't heard you on the show for a few years. You were on back in, I would say, 2016, 2017 or so, some around then. And you were a cast member of a show that we produced, Comedy Bang Bang Produce, called Bajillion Dollar Properties, which- Hold for a plunge? Yes. Hold for a plunge.
Starting point is 00:05:21 I'm not hearing any. We still be holding. Where's the only people in the room, though? But my wife, my former ex-girlfriend, Kulafi Lysak, created the show. You were a cast member on it. In fact, as I- I think it's Velisak, by the way. I don't think it's Velisak.
Starting point is 00:05:38 I don't know. Yeah. I think you should know that, and I think you're wrong. I'll check with her at some point during our marriage. This is who you people are turning into a best-selling author, just so you know. Doesn't even know his wife's name. You were a cast member, and as I recall, you were the first cast member that we cast. You were-
Starting point is 00:05:55 We saw all the auditions, and we said, well, whoever we cast, we got to have Dan. You were the person that we was like a lock from the beginning. Diversity hire. You got to get the diversity out of the way first. You know what's funny? That's what you told me. I don't see color. You said that to me though.
Starting point is 00:06:11 I was surprised to me when you picked your character name. I was like, what? Because what was your character name? It was Amir. Amir. That's right. I was like, oh, I see it now, Dan, is what I said to you. But no, you gave a great audition.
Starting point is 00:06:24 You were very funny on the show. We did four seasons of that show, and that was the last time you were on. And then you got onto Cobra Kai, where you play some guy at the car dealership. Yes. Anouche. Anouche. One day, I'm going to be like a John. Well, you picked your name, Amir, by the way.
Starting point is 00:06:46 You could have picked John. I could have. But I thought that. And by the way, should we tell the story of how you originally picked a different name and we shot for three days? Yes, I did. I initially was going to be Amir Gabay, was the last name, who was named after my great uncle and then my cousin.
Starting point is 00:07:04 And you said like, I've talked to my great uncle, I'm going to do this as a tribute to him. He's cool with it. We shot for three days with everyone saying that name over and over again. And then at the end of three days, you came to us and said, my uncle is no longer cool with it. I need to change my name. We needed to change everything in post CGI, all the doors, all the lips, everyone's lips
Starting point is 00:07:24 have to be animated suddenly. But oh, we can laugh about it now because that show is a runaway train of a success. But so you are, you're, you're mainly a comedian. Yes. And you're a great standup as well. Thank you. But now you've written a book described for me. Why does a comedian write a book?
Starting point is 00:07:46 What is going on here? I got to tell you the truth. I never thought I was going to write a book. I had no interest in writing a book. Books are boring and long. Yeah. Who wants to read them? Let alone write them.
Starting point is 00:07:58 That's the thing. For every book that's out there, some poor asshole wrote it like you think you're having a bad time. Yeah. Like all the kids in school out there. Like you're reading these fucking like trigonometry books and stuff and it's like, think about the slub who had to sit there and jot everything down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:15 It's a, it's a fucking sucks, sucks. It sucks. And anyone who's like, I love writing books is lying or has a ghost writer. Yeah. If you're actually writing a book, it sucks, but how did you do it? How did you do it? Did you, uh, did you like talk into a tape recorder and then just have someone transcribe it?
Starting point is 00:08:35 Or did you actually sit down and write? No, I sat down and did it. I mean, just, it was basically, I had done this podcast called a meat eater podcast. It's the number one hunting podcast in the country. Hunting podcast. Yes. You had done it meaning you were a guest on it? I was a guest on it.
Starting point is 00:08:51 You were a guest on a podcast called meat eater. Meat eater. Okay. Why are you saying it like that? Meat eater. Meat eater. Meat eater. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Meat eater. Meat eater. Meat eater. M-I-D-E-D. M-I-D-E what? Meat eater. M-I-D-E-D-E-R. Meat eater.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Meat eater. Okay. Got it. It's the new Tyler Perry show. Meat eater. Meat eater. Meat eater's cousin, Meat eater, comes on. And on it, I told stories about, uh, my hunting exploits.
Starting point is 00:09:21 What are your hunting? I don't know anything about these. I'm, I'm, I know I give off a gatherer vibe, Scott, but I am a hunter and, uh, I told some stories on it and my manager heard it and she was like, these stories are nuts. You should try to turn it into a movie. Why don't you get your manager to listen to one of your podcasts? Because I, I have been doing the show for now. We're in our 15th year.
Starting point is 00:09:42 I don't believe my manager has heard one single sentence. I don't know. I don't know why she'd listen to it. I didn't even tell her to listen to it. Weird. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah. She's like, that's kind of sus, honestly.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Yeah. I would maybe look for new managers. What are you listening to what I'm saying on podcast? Get the fuck at it. Yeah. Trying too hard. Um, anyway, so I tried to turn it into a movie. Didn't work.
Starting point is 00:10:10 The outline sucked. And she was like, just, most people are like, I tried to turn it into a movie for several years. No one was biting. The market was bad. No, the outline sucked. No. There was, there was absolutely no writer's guilt strike going on.
Starting point is 00:10:25 The employment was gainful. They were buying anything. They were buying everything and anything. Um, and, uh, so then she was like, just write what, just do some free writing about your relationship to food because I always have been an enormous foodie. I love food. I'm obsessed with food. You have a podcast, green eggs and Dan where you, and I've been on it where you go into
Starting point is 00:10:46 celebrities or my refrigerator and you, uh, open it up and you, you comment on, on what's inside. Yes. Uh, and you, and you talk about the person's relationship to why they bought this kind of stuff. Exactly. We kind of roast the fridge a little bit. You know, high drinks and fridges are cold and you're roasting.
Starting point is 00:11:02 So it's everything. It's just lukewarm. Yes. It's a very lukewarm podcast. Um, that's what Vulture called it. Um, yeah, but it's, uh, I always, you know, I'm just food all across the board has been obsessed with mine. You love going.
Starting point is 00:11:18 You, you're always the guy who, if we ever travel to a place, we say, Dan, where should we go? Yeah. And then you give us a long list of, of restaurants that we need to hit up and we're able to maybe to go to one. Yes. So we thank you for that one. I do a lot of research, a lot of work goes into that and people don't realize that.
Starting point is 00:11:36 But uh, yeah, I think you guys were, should we give reviews, like when we come back from the place, should we be like, Dan, this is what we went to this, this, this, this and this. Would you appreciate that? Or, or the minute you send the list, you're like mentally up. I would love nothing more than to get a review of a review and or a picture of yourself there. Because otherwise I'm just your fucking concierge. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Okay. You've always had that sort of relationship. Okay. So I, I promise you next time we do that, we'll give pictures. One time you, you texted me, texted me to order you an Uber. It was very weird. Yeah. That was strange.
Starting point is 00:12:13 You were like, we're at this corner. I was like, your phone has a GPS. You're in a totally different state as well. Yeah. I was on a, I was on a plane. I had to get the wifi and the plan to order you an Uber for $25 wifi. The go-go in flight. What the hell is going on?
Starting point is 00:12:29 How can this be so expensive? I don't know. Like for, for a four hour flight, $25. What is happening? Oh, but here's the crazy thing. If you get, if you order the wifi before the plane takes off, $19. If the plan, if the wheels are up 30 bucks above 30,000 feet, really. Price gouging.
Starting point is 00:12:49 I don't. Price gouging. At some point, and you know, they have the technology at some point, like all wifi on plane should be free. Yeah. What does this happen? I think Delta has actually started for its sky mile members. Delta.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Yes. Thank God. And then they're like, oh, if you're a frequent flyer, you can pay us $800 and you can get on the wifi. Because shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Fuck at it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Anyway. Anyway, so I wrote a couple of what became chapters of this book. They pitched it to a publisher, publisher loved them and they were all very, like they're, they're standalone essays that are very funny, but also have heart, but they're all about food. And I've been compared, I've been called the David Sideris of food by Danadute. And so I'm kind of trying to buy your, wait, you buy yourself. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I can see that. So I'm trying to make that stick. Hey, I like it. And how many chaps?
Starting point is 00:13:47 Chapters, we say chaps in the biz. 11 chaps. 11 chaps. 11 chaps. How many chaps you got? Well, we don't really do chaps, we did back pages. That was my problem. That's why I didn't, I'm not in the best of ways.
Starting point is 00:14:02 How many, how many pages you got? Actually it's funny because as someone who never has written a book and doesn't know how that works, they were, I started writing this book and after about eight months, I was like, yeah, I got it. I think that's a book. This is on lock. I think that's a book. I think I'm done.
Starting point is 00:14:23 I was like, how do I, I don't know how I know I'm done or not. Right. How do you convert this into, like, is it word count? How do they? Well, that's the thing. I asked my agent. I was like, how do I know when this is done? I think it feels like a book.
Starting point is 00:14:33 And she's like, well, you're contractually obligated to 60,000 words. I was like, oh, I didn't know that. Let me check. Let me tell you, the agents do not pass on a lot of info. I was very surprised by certain things that popped up three years after the deal. Yeah. So I added them up. And by the way, I had one month to get the whole manuscript in.
Starting point is 00:14:55 One month left. Okay. And I had 35,000 words. Oh, no. That's, I mean, it's a little more than half. So that's at least not a total morale buster. It was pretty busting. So out of that, how many chaps did you have there?
Starting point is 00:15:08 I think I probably had like seven chaps. Seven chaps. Too short for a book. Yeah. I don't know why you thought seven chaps would be good. The thing is, you're writing it on a computer. You said 11 and I'm like, is that enough? But because that's where it ended up to be.
Starting point is 00:15:21 The acknowledgments count as a chapter and that was really long. It's daunting. I know it's daunting to, yeah, because you've never done it before. Now in retrospect, when you look at it, do you go like, oh, of course it was too short. 100% it was too short. Yes. But it was, here's the thing. It wasn't that I thought, I was like, I just, I need to write a little bit more and then
Starting point is 00:15:44 I'll have a book. I didn't know I need to write the same amount in a month and then I'll have a book. Wow. So did you just like, are there four chaps that are just total bullshit that are just about like whatever is in the room with you, like lamp, pictures, like Kaiser's Sausage, the rest of the book, whatever I saw around me and yeah, no, it was half of it was chat GTP. Honestly, these days, it's very hot right now.
Starting point is 00:16:12 You can probably get away with it. I was one of the last free chat GTP books that came out. That's amazing. You were one of the last to be turned in, incredible. So what are, give us an example of like what some of these chaps are about. What are some of these stories that you tell? So one is about when I interned at a Michelin-starred restaurant in New York City. One is about returning a dish at the number one restaurant in the world, the day that
Starting point is 00:16:39 it became the number one restaurant in the world. Wow. True story. One is about, are some of these not true? Why do you say true story? Half of them, half of them are not true, 35,000 words are true, 25,000, 25% of the book is just the catcher in the rye that I just copied and pasted. It's like, huh, what a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Weird pivot. So this is all just like funny stories that have happened to you all about food. Well this is, it sounds dynamite. Would it surprise you to learn I haven't read it yet? What is that? Would it surprise you to learn I have not read this book yet? Oh, I thought you said, what is the price again? I haven't read it yet.
Starting point is 00:17:22 What is the price again? I have not read it. $29. Actually, Amazon's doing a deal right now. Really? Yeah, if you want to pad Jeff Bezos' pockets, I mean, it sounds like quite a deal at twice the price. It's a very fun book though, people.
Starting point is 00:17:37 The main review I'm getting is I've never laughed so hard and cried so hard at a book, which is a fun little emotional melange. Yeah, it's like an emotional Batman the Ride there. And it sounds really good. I believe Coolop ordered it. It's at the house somewhere. I got to find out where it is. No, I gave you one for free.
Starting point is 00:17:58 You did? So that you would read it. Where? I literally sent it to your home. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. So I'm mistaken.
Starting point is 00:18:07 She didn't buy it. You didn't address it to me. That's not true. What I had to do was to Coolop and Scott. Okay. Interesting. Well, she opens all the mail. Well, no.
Starting point is 00:18:18 I have plausible deniability on all of this, but I'll get to it. Wait, no, I sent it FedEx and I said it needs Scott Ackerman's signature. Oh, shit. No, I'll get to it because it's, you know, Dan, I'm a big fan and I, you know, it sounds like a dynamite book undercooked is what it's called. It's out there. If you buy the Comedy Bang Bang book out there, it'll probably pop up underneath of like you also may like and vice versa, I would imagine.
Starting point is 00:18:46 So we're both authors. This is incredible. We are both authors, I would say. Yeah. Who knew? The two of us. I know. You know?
Starting point is 00:18:56 Seriously. Do you talk about how Ryan and I both puked from Shrimp Friday on the first week of the bajillion set? That would have helped me when I found that I had only written 35,000 words. On the very next Shrimp Friday, we saw each other in line in the, in line for the food and we bought that shrimp on our place and we both looked at each other and shrugged like, what are you going to do? We're going to do it.
Starting point is 00:19:18 We're back again. All right. Dana Dude is with us. You can stick around. Can't you? I can. And also, by the way, if you like these dulcet tones, you're listening to, there's an audio book.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Oh. That I narrated. Wow. I should have got you to do the Comedy Bang Bang book, but we decided not to do one. But why did you not do one? If you thought this book was hard to do and trying to do an audio book version of it would have been even harder. But so we, we passed on that, but that sounds really good.
Starting point is 00:19:50 But I'm so proud of you. Honestly, I saw that and I don't retweet a lot. I'm not a big retweeter. Really? I hit that. I hit those two arrows right away. Wow. Before you even knew what you were doing.
Starting point is 00:20:02 No, I didn't even know. I just, my instinctually. Instinctually. I retweeted it. I didn't even. Thank you so much. Didn't even put a comment. You know, because sometimes you do a comment to make it about you like, look at what my
Starting point is 00:20:12 friends are doing. My friends are doing. I have friends who are famous and doing stuff. I just retweeted it with nothing. I wanted nothing from it. That means a lot. That really does. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Of course. It wasn't on my main account though. Oh, this is on your burner. I started a new account just to retweet it. Just to give positive reviews to your own book. Yeah. Well, undercooked is the book Danadoot is here. He can stick around with us.
Starting point is 00:20:39 We're going to take a break. When we come back, we have a small business owner. We also have a stand-up and you're a stand-up. So maybe you'll have a lot you can talk about. I wonder if I know him. Yeah. This will be incredible. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang right after this.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Danadoot is here, author of undercooked in stores now as well as online, as well as the audiobook, which you can listen to Dan recite and do you really do that voice? Every single word. You can't. We need to get to our next guest. She's a small business owner. We no longer have entrepreneurs on the show, so very good to see we have a small business
Starting point is 00:21:23 owner. I don't know what business. That information is not in front of me, but please welcome to the show for the first time, Taylor Stephanie. We did it, Scott. We bought it. Sorry, what? We bought it.
Starting point is 00:21:35 We did it. We bought it. We've been talking about it for everyone. We did it. What? But? We bought an oil rig. We did it.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Who? You did it? Me and my husband and of course my two kids, Emery and O'Connell, we decided we are, we're going all in and we bought an oil rig. You bought an oil rig. Oh, congratulations. That's amazing. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Thank you so much. We did do it two years ago, so we are an operational business now, but I was just really excited to sort of share that with you and I wanted to start hard. Yeah, it sounds like something that you closed the deal on just an hour ago, but no, this was two years ago. Two years ago, yeah. Wow. Okay, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:22:09 An oil rig. That doesn't seem like a small business. Oh, well, there's big oil and then there's small oil, and so that's sort of where we fit in. We were flying from Walt Disney World. We were doing our family vacation in Walt Disney World during the pandemic and we were on the plane and we looked down and we were over the Gulf of Mexico flying back to Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:22:28 So here we see, but all these little oil rigs all over the place and I just turn to my husband Thomas and I grab his hand and I go, I feel like we should buy one and we thought about it and we did it immediately. So you thought about it very briefly, it sounds like. Yes. When did you buy it? Did you have the go-go in-flight? Did you buy it on the plane?
Starting point is 00:22:47 We did. We have a pass, so we do the Disney trip twice a year, so it's worth it for us. Why go to Disney twice a year? Friendship, community. Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you meet other people there or? Well, community with the characters mostly.
Starting point is 00:23:07 We don't have family that speaks to us right now, so it's just nice to sort of get in there. Can we put a pin in that for a second because you've said you're a yearly member of go-go because you go to Disney twice a year. Yeah, so it becomes worth it, you know? It's like $400 a year, something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just the piece of mind? Well, you get the perks.
Starting point is 00:23:27 You get the book bag. Oh, I did. If you buy the yearly, they give you the book bag. They have a go-go in-flight book bag? Yeah, yeah. So it sort of becomes worth it. I don't think I've ever seen one of those in the wild. We did it.
Starting point is 00:23:38 You did it. And so we just did it, you know? And so it's been going pretty well. And are you guys oil-positive? Are you making oil? Have you struck? Yeah. I don't even know how to speak to this.
Starting point is 00:23:47 This was a functioning one before you bought it? Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, absolutely. And so our big thing with it was we thought, how do we bring the oil field to table, right? So we're selling it in mason jars, you know, your typical oil. You're getting it, you know, you're getting all the refined oil. And, you know, that's not good for anybody. So we're just selling it mason jar raw.
Starting point is 00:24:07 You're buying it and you're just sort of pouring it into your gas tank. Okay. I might be ignorant on this, on this topic. I know I am. Yeah. Yeah. But I am Iranian. We're an oil people.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Right. And I'm pretty sure you have to refine the oil to make it usable. Like that's the whole thing. Yeah. I don't know that if I just got a jar of unrefined oil and then poured it in my gas tank, I don't know if my car would run. Yeah. Have you tried?
Starting point is 00:24:35 That's a good point. That is a good point. That's a great point. And here's the fun thing about ours. You never know what's going to come in the jar, right? Sometimes you get a little fish in there. There's a little fish in there and sometimes it's still wiggling around. And then, and then you get a little snack as well.
Starting point is 00:24:48 That's fine. An oily fish. Yeah. So thank you so much for having me on today. My pleasure. Yeah. Being a small business, we're all about owning up to our mistakes, right? Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:24:59 So we're all. So, okay. So we've established everything about the business, but now there are mistakes in the past few years. Oh, yeah. We made an oops. Is this like Domino's or something? Or like we're sorry we have shitty pizza?
Starting point is 00:25:09 Well, it's basically, well, sort of. Our product speaks for itself is what I'll say. You know, even the best business has a little oops, makes a little spill every once in a while. Am I right? Oh, there's an oil spill. That's the one. And it's the kind of thing where it is a significantly smaller spill than your big guys, your BP,
Starting point is 00:25:26 your Chevron, any of those companies. And I would argue because there is only one of us per oil rig, it is the biggest one per oil rig that they've had on record before. Oh, no. Really? But smaller than if you were to combine all of the other oil spills for big oil companies. Does that make sense? The biggest oil spill.
Starting point is 00:25:45 But if you were to combine every oil spill that has ever occurred, it's smaller than that. It's tiny. Okay. That's not. I mean, that sounds really bad. Well, if it was just the spill, it wouldn't be a problem. We set it on fire.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Oops. Our bad. It was an accident, Scott. How did you set an oil spill on fire? When you get a baked Alaska and you set the alcohol on fire, it disappears. And so we thought, let's go ahead and let's burn off that oil. Let's burn it off. And then instead, fiery waters.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Where is this? The Gulf of Mexico. And literally, nobody would have even said anything if there weren't all of those news helicopters. Well, yeah, that's the only reason anyone says anything about anything. Well, that's what I'm saying. So really, at the end of the day, absolutely, you agree with us. You're on our side.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Whoa. I want to make sure that I'm separated from being on this side. Dan is just an author. Yeah. He doesn't have a stake in it. Okay. So you should write this down. It's not our fault.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Okay. Well, we're just a tiny little business with the smallest, tiniest little business in the entire world. And everybody's yelling at us. Do you know what you're doing? If I were just some dickless schmo who was on an airplane and saw an oil rig inside a buy one, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I mean, how did you get any kind of instructions of what to do?
Starting point is 00:27:07 That is part of our story. That's part of why you come to us instead of going to the big guy. That's why you come to our stand to get our little jars of oil instead of going to a pump and pulling it off of there and sticking it in your car. We know how. Yes. We've been to gas stations. We know you pulled the pump out.
Starting point is 00:27:26 What was the question? Did you know how to do this? Does anyone know how to do anything, Scott, before you try? I mean, yeah. That's a good point. That's it. Sometimes. Sometimes.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we just, we get a little overfilled and there's not enough mason jars. So we just sort of dump it into the water and yeah, maybe there was a bunch of fish that sort of died. And so then we started deciding, hey, maybe we can sell some fish oil pills off of this and then a bunch of kids got sick. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Yeah. Maybe we did that every once in a while, but we're trying our best. Sorry. When life gives you lemons, don't set 1700 square miles of the ocean on fire. I just, I think this is so vastly irresponsible. I mean, this is oil we're talking about. This isn't like, you know, we bought a zoo or something, you know, where I mean, but that's animals.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Oh God. Yeah. And that zoo went so poorly for us. You were the people that we bought a zoo is about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we did sell the rights to the movie to try and pay off the lawsuits and the product
Starting point is 00:28:29 that they came up with, it was pretty lovely actually. And so then we thought, okay, well, maybe we'll do it again. We bought an oil rig. How fun. Good sequel. Yeah. Matt Damon and a couple of kids, one of them on the shoulders, gallivanting around the Gulf of Mexico.
Starting point is 00:28:43 What's good or not? It's all the keeping on the shoulders and we bought a zoo. It's on the poster. Oh. Okay. I'm not picturing it, but. And then the last thing that I just sort of wanted to say is, you know, and then of course there was the cover up and paying off the government officials.
Starting point is 00:29:01 And so we're sorry. It was an accident and we didn't know what we were doing. It's, I mean, you using the word cover up sounds like you knew that you were covering up the crime. And that's what they were referring to it as in sort of the blog post. What did you think it was when you were paying those officials? I thought it was giving a friend $100,000 to make this go away. That's the very definition of a cover.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Yeah. That's a cover. Okay. If I was giving it to a stranger, sure. But a friend, it's a favor. It's a handshake. It's a kiss. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:29:33 I don't know, Dan. What do you think about this? You're, as you said, you're Iranian. As I said, so this isn't hitting close to home. It is. It is actually. And I'm just acting. Your dander is getting up here.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious though. Why are you choosing here for your confession? Why wouldn't you be on a news network? Seems like you'd be on at least, you know, WTF. Yeah. We tried so hard to get on there.
Starting point is 00:30:00 And this is the only show that would book you my producer. We tried so, so hard to get on WTF. Mark Marin. This is, this is bad. This is bad. I support you as a guest. Whoa. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Me? Wait, that was mean. You don't support me as a guest? I don't support what you're talking about. I don't think you should be, I mean, oil and mason jars, this is the very definition of insanity. No. Come on.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Hey, hey, it's not. Listen. Oh. If it makes you feel better. No, it's not. Oh, okay. If it makes you feel better, Scott, I was an early backer to your book. How do you mean you're an early backer?
Starting point is 00:30:34 I was an early backer. I was the one. Okay, so you know the audio company of what do you mean when you just say what do you know the audio company? Do you know audio? Do you know audio? I know audio. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Do you know telephones? I know telephones. Okay. Do you know the person that called you and said you should write a book? Yes. I do know. Yes. So I, they live up the street from me.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Sam lives up the street from you. And I said, you know, it would be fun doing a book on a podcast. Okay. And then I said, do you know WTF? And they said yes. They tried to get them to write it back and they were busy and so then they came to you. And this was in the Gulf of Mexico? No, this was on the plane.
Starting point is 00:31:13 I was texting back and forth with them. Oh, okay. I really got to make this. I'm texting with these go-go in flight deals. You do get your money's worth out of this go-go in flight. Well, that's it. You just, it's, you got to plan for it, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:23 You got to do all of your big sort of, uh, download. So you save up all your, all of your texts and downloads for when you're on a plane twice a year. Yeah. Just because you bought this go-go in flight. This is the weirdest part of your whole story. This is what I want to drill down on. Scott, I have two kids.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Okay. I'm not above saying when I'm wrong. I'm not above trying to fix my mistakes. And that's what I'm doing here. What do the kids have to do about it? What do the kids have to do with any of this? Oh, they're the CEO and the CFO of the company. Wow.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Did they go down for this? Yeah. They're in juvenile detention right now. It's tough. But that's why we're sort of in neighborhood here. It's just right up the street. I do live right next to a prison. You know, the price per square foot is a lot lower.
Starting point is 00:32:07 It is. Closer you are. It's a terrible area. Terrible area. Yeah. We're constantly getting like juvenile delinquents escaped. Bad babies. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Uh, this is, this is bad Taylor. You are a bad person. I don't know. Why are you saying my name like that? I keep having to look down. I mean, Taylor, Stephanie, it's not very distinctive. I mean, it's two first names. First of all, is your, your husband's name is what?
Starting point is 00:32:31 Thomas. Stephanie. Thomas Stephanie. Thomas Stephanie. And was his name Stephanie? How does he feel about having a woman's last name as a, or a woman's first name as the last name? I don't know, Scott.
Starting point is 00:32:41 You'd have to ask him. Why isn't he here? Hmm. That's interesting. So you think that my husband should be the one that's sort of confessing our crimes? Sure. I mean, you're both culprits. You don't trust me confessing our crimes?
Starting point is 00:32:51 Why don't you trust me confessing our crimes, Scott? Maybe the pitch of your voice. Maybe. A little too trail. Hard to take it seriously. I just feel like nobody, God, you know, when I had this idea to buy the oil rig, my husband, my kids, everybody said that I was an idiot and that I was done and that it was a bad idea, but then they went along with it because my dad is Rupert Murdoch.
Starting point is 00:33:16 And so it was one of those things where they sort of like just agreed because I got the money to go behind it. I didn't realize. Okay. Yeah. This is, this is a totally, you're a Murdoch. Huh? You're a Murdoch.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Yeah. That's my married name. Yeah. She married into the, the name Stephanie, but you're, you're Stephanie Nay Murdoch. Well, yeah. I didn't. What is that? Neuroname.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Neuroname. Well, how I've spelled it in sort of like my legal is N-E-I-G-H. Oh. Okay. Like a horseman. Yeah. Yeah. I should be asking, how would a horse pronounce this?
Starting point is 00:33:52 Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should have and you didn't because they all died in the zoo, unfortunately. And they didn't have that. You had horses in your zoo? Hold on. Yeah. Scott, you are, you're skipping over a very vital piece of information and going on to
Starting point is 00:34:03 horses in the zoo. I mean, this is astounding to me that you had horses. They're getting so far away from the point, which is I came here to apologize. Wait, did you paint them with stripes to pretend they were zebras? Yeah, Scott. What do you think zebras are? I'm sorry. Who's the idiot now?
Starting point is 00:34:18 You think horses are real? I think horses are real. They're like unicorns and. Unicorns are real and they just saw off the horse. No, they're not real. Scott, I'm saying they're all horses. But okay. So it was, you didn't get zebras and paint them like horses.
Starting point is 00:34:34 You got horses and painted them like zebras. Zebras don't exist. This is the biggest lie that zoos have told everybody. If you had a zebra and you had to paint it like a horse, would you paint it black or would you paint it white? I go, what happened? I did it and you're sort of running past my, my lived experience with this. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Got it. It's fine. No, Dan, what would you do? Well, please let me know the semantics. What brand of paint do you buy? I would, first of all, go with the black because the black would cover up the white. Whereas if you're going to go white, you probably see faded black. The white horses are prettier.
Starting point is 00:35:13 But then black beauty. You want to know the answer? Very famous horse. Yes. You take them to a car detailer and they do those, you know how they wrap cars in sort of that plastic and the heat and that's what you do to, with the black and white sort of like saran wrap. Doesn't that suffocate the horse though?
Starting point is 00:35:29 Oh, it does. It's tough. Is that part of the issue? That was part of the problem. It was hard getting a zebra sort of into final prototype and onto the field. Strange way to put it. Look, Taylor, Stephanie, you're an interesting person. You're a Murdoch.
Starting point is 00:35:44 You're one of Rupert Murdoch's daughters, I'm assuming. My kids are in jail. I don't have Wi-Fi except if I'm 30,000 feet in the air. I don't have. You do have a bad life and I have some empathy for that, but I don't think what you did is a good thing. Okay, I'll move in. Okay, I'll move in, Scott.
Starting point is 00:36:01 I don't think, look, first of all, your husband, what is his name again? Thomas. Thomas Stephanie? Thomas Stephanie, name Murdoch. He also took my love. He took the Murdoch name and you did a name squad? We're both, no, we're both Stephanie name Murdoch. We both took it.
Starting point is 00:36:20 We both decided that we wanted our kids to have the same last name as us. So we both took name Murdoch. I don't know. I don't know. Well, look, Taylor, we have to take a break. Thank God I'm exhausted. Which one's my room? No, you're not staying here.
Starting point is 00:36:34 I hope you will stay for the next segment, but you're not staying here tonight, okay? I guess we'll talk about it later. I mean, we will talk about it when I call the police and kick you out of this place. Which police officer? Which precinct are you going to? I don't know. I've never called the police. Really?
Starting point is 00:36:50 Yeah. Ever? Not even for fun? No. Dang, you should try calling the police on sort of like a somebody. It's really fun. Okay. It sounds like you're somebody who just, some Karen who calls the police on people.
Starting point is 00:37:03 I'm not Karen. I'm Taylor. All right, Taylor. Look, Taylor, can you stick around though for one more second? Yes, Scott. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll have more Dan and Dute. Undercooked is the book.
Starting point is 00:37:13 We'll have more Taylor Stephanie and we have a standup comedian after this. This is very exciting. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Dan and Dute is here. Author of Undercooked and Cobra Kai is the final season coming up. And when's that come out, Dan?
Starting point is 00:37:34 I honestly think all of my accomplishments and my book promotion has been, you know, upstaged by a confession of lighting the Gulf of Mexico on fire. I don't know why this is the wrong show. Okay, I didn't like the Gulf of Mexico on fire. I lit a small patch of the Gulf of Mexico on fire. How small? I mean, a couple hundred square miles. Compared to the Gulf of Mexico, it's small.
Starting point is 00:38:00 It's small. It's a patch. Yeah. I was just on the splendid table on NPR. You were? Yeah. And the other guests were like someone who makes artisanal jellies. Sounds boring.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Not a freaking water arsonist. Well, I tried getting on that podcast too and they wouldn't have me. This is the only show that would have you. This is a bad show. I've tried everywhere. I don't know what we're doing. Where are our standards? Well, at least we have a stand-up comedy.
Starting point is 00:38:28 A stand-up comedy performer coming on. A stand-up comic, we call them. Yes. I didn't misspeak. We have a stand-up comic here. And this is exciting because we need a little levity, I think, in times like these. There's a writer's strike hitting our industry and everything going on. The environment is a mess.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Ukraine did you see well. I mean, that's your fault. But please welcome him to the show. Please welcome Weed Foxworthy. If you know Jerry Garcia's birthday but not your own, you might be a pothead. All right. Hey, Weed Foxworthy. If you're packing a bowl for a trip and it has nothing to do with luggage, you might be a pothead.
Starting point is 00:39:17 If your pronouns are he high, you might be a pothead. Why are you patting your upper lip? Thank you. You're patting your mustache. Yeah, I just want to make sure it stays on. I have a fear every night when I go to sleep. I dream that my mustache falls off. So during the day, I make sure I really pat it on there.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I might be allergic to it. It feels on my skin perhaps like maybe I am. I'm welcome Weed Foxworthy. Those are three great, great jokes. Thank you for having me. I got to tell you, I've been listening to the show. There is a hack in the comedy scene.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Perhaps Dan knows him as well. Weed Seinfeld. This guy, he has one joke. Oh yeah, Weed Seinfeld. We had him on the show first in Minnesota. Then he came on the actual show. One joke then sits down. Terrible.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Doesn't have any material. Meanwhile, I've been touring. I pressed him on like what other jokes do you have? And he had nothing. He just goes on the name. And where there's a whole bunch of us, Dan, you probably know all these comedians who are family members of other famous comedians trying to make money off their likeness.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Mama Papa, Tom Papa's mama. Oh, I didn't realize she was a comedian out there trying to make money. She does stuff. She does stuff. She's great. The Scalar Hoes. These are the Scalar Bros sisters.
Starting point is 00:40:32 They call themselves the Scalar Hoes. Yeah. It's very powerful. It's like positive. By the way, they're professional names of the Scalar Brothers. So I didn't immediately realize it was me. Tell their sisters that. If I ever meet them, I will.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Okay. Yeah, great. Rude. Rude Gaffigan is another one. Rude Gaffigan. Who's Rude Gaffigan? Jim Gaffigan's brother. He does a lot of rude stuff about like fucking hot pockets.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Stuff like that. It doesn't even rhyme with Jim. Well, you know, at some point, by the way, your mustache looks like it is holding. It's like a dream. The dream is happening. Okay. Look, here's it.
Starting point is 00:41:08 All right. Truthfully. All right. You just took your mustache off and you're. You do have a smaller mustache. Yeah. Much smaller. Like a Hitler almost.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Or a Charlie Chaplin. I don't mean to insult you. Thank you. No, I'm not. No insult taken. Let me look a little bit higher than that mustache. Up to your eyes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Taking the rest of your face. I'm gasping again. Yeah. Yes. So I'm not actually Jeff Foxworthy's brother who does weed comedy. I'm his step brother. I'm his married by law. This accent's fake.
Starting point is 00:41:40 The mustache is fake. Drop the accent. Then if you. Sorry. Okay. It can be hard. I don't want you to get in there. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:48 This is what I really sound like. It sounds kind of similar. This is me. This is me be like, if you own two Bob Marley t-shirts and no Bob Marley albums, you might be a pothead. That's it. That would be a joke. Pretty good.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Right. Feeling good. And then let me drop into, this is how I really sound. You're dropping into how you really sound. Yeah. Exactly the same. Well, you know, I've been on the road so much. Damn, we both know.
Starting point is 00:42:11 We're out on the road. It's hard. Wait a minute. So hold on. You had a fake mustache. Yeah. And you were pretending to be weed Foxworthy. Jeff Foxworthy's brother who does weed based comedy.
Starting point is 00:42:21 But you are actually what? His brother in law. His brother in law who does weed based comedy. So the fake mustache was to disguise the fact that you are not his brother. You're his brother in law. Correct. In the accent, which I think, at least I can clearly tell the
Starting point is 00:42:36 difference. I can't tell any difference between. No, it is, it is different. And yeah, it's hard. But you know, if you go to see weed Foxworthy, you're expecting a mustache. You're expecting a mustache. That's a good point.
Starting point is 00:42:46 And it's, you know, it's all, we're out on the road and it's hard because I was watching this weed Seinfeld film and he, he all of a sudden blew up. He started having tens of people at his shows. Yeah. We had him on the, I mean, I didn't think he was very good. The few times that he was on, but. No, he's terrible.
Starting point is 00:43:02 The guy's a hack. Yeah. But all of a sudden people started going out to a show and I said, what, what'd you do? And he said, comedy bang bang. He said, I tried to get booked on every podcast. The one that'll book you said comedy bang bang. And so none.
Starting point is 00:43:12 All right. I reached out to my agent and I said, let me, let me come do some of my material so I can also, cause I have material. Okay. Well, let's hear the materials. Almost 15 jokes. I'm probably, I'm probably more interested in the material than in your backstory.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Okay. Yeah. You know, I got to read the room. I can tell. You can, you can sour on people pretty quickly. All right. If, if, if you're trying to decide the name your first child, Indica or Sativa, you might be a pothead.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Pretty good. That's true. If you're Long Island comedian, John Gabriel, you might be a pothead. Okay. All right. If you refuse to drink and drive. So instead you get really high. You might be a pothead.
Starting point is 00:43:53 If you're known for your tie dye skills, you might be a pothead. Yes. If you think 420 is a funnier number than 69, you might be a pothead. It's a push for me. If, if you like to sync up the wizard of Oz with the Pink Floyd's wish you were here album, you might be a pothead. Now if you heard that and then you thought, no, it's actually not Pink Floyd's wish you were here album.
Starting point is 00:44:21 It's actually Pink Floyd's dark side of the moon album you sync up with Wizard of Oz. He might be a pothead. I think Dan was about to say it. So you might be a pothead, Dan. I was, can I just, yeah. Can I just, please? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:34 I think you're hilarious. That's what I'm trying to say. I mean Dan was an accomplished standup comedian. Yeah. These jokes are fantastic. These are good, good jokes. I mean, I like that we'd signed up. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Thank you. He had one, he literally did one joke and sat down to do panel. Yeah. And what if there's not a panel? Laughing is just him. It's happened just him on stage. And he expects this audience to start a panel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:57 Wow. But you're legitimately good. Thank you. Thank you. So what's the issue? Well, I don't know. Part of it is my Jeff Foxby that doesn't like my act at all. Your brother.
Starting point is 00:45:07 He doesn't like it. No. He's married to who? Your sister? My sister, yes. Is married to him. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Sorry. It's a big family just trying to, you know, that's where he gets all his jokes. It's a big thing. It's probably just because you're doing it, you know, in his style. But the jokes are actually really funny, which tells me that you're a very talented comedy writer. You should try to find your own voice.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Okay. All right. Let me see if I can pull from your life experience. Is that an overstep? Can I say that? No. Hey, I think that's all right. I would normally say never listen to anything that Taylor says, but she's right.
Starting point is 00:45:40 I bought Yuck Yucks. So it can be a comedy club. Jeff Foxby's wife, Pamela Gregg. This is your sister. Yes. All right. Gregg with two G or three actually two at the end. We always say the more on there, the more your family, throw some more G's on there.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Come on. Hang out. That's what we always say. Can I ask something? Is that okay? Is that an overstep? Yeah. I think both of you two is basically the same.
Starting point is 00:46:01 You and Dan seem to me from everything I've heard. How did you end up with the last name Foxby? Well, here's the funny thing. It's when I married someone else, I said, can we change our name to my successful brother-in-law's last name? I get it. And she said, hell yeah. She said, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:14 We can. I'm doing the light blue collar comedy tour due to copyright law. I couldn't do the blue collar comedy tour. But the light blue is okay? Light blue. Yeah. It's a different color. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:28 And so we go on the road. I got a friend. He drinks a lot. He comes on stage with me as well sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. He's on the tour but only performs occasionally. Strangely enough, he's making most of the money.
Starting point is 00:46:40 I'm not sure what kind of contract he signed. Wow. But this guy is cleaning up and I am struggling. Yes. Who else is on tour? We got Ron. Ron. He's the drinker.
Starting point is 00:46:50 He's the drinker. Ron the drinker. Yep. And then we have Gary the plumber guy. He's always talking about getting stuff done later. I've had a couple of plumbers on this show. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Yeah. Any funny events? They're interesting, definitely. Mike the janitor is one. And then Mike Ruby, I believe, was his name. Yes, he. Yeah. You guys are funny.
Starting point is 00:47:14 We can all agree with that. I will. Okay. Okay. I hate to make, I really want you to find your voice. Okay. Okay. And a way that comedians do this is you, it starts off actually pretty, some tragic
Starting point is 00:47:26 things that you have to think about that you can turn into something funny. So like, I'm going to start by asking like, when was the last time you cried? Probably perhaps the day my wife died. Oh no. Your wife is the one who took the name Fox. Yeah. She sounded like a lovely woman. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:43 And honestly, weed is a big reason why she died. What? Marijuana. Wow. How? Well, she was hit by a drunk driver going to pick up weed. So. I don't know that I would blame the weed.
Starting point is 00:47:56 I mean, it's not my. It was Aaron. He was running. It's not my. But Aaron, he was running. He was running. Oh, he was trying to pick up weed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:04 He was trying to, and she was trying to pick up one. No, she was, she was normal. She, or not normal. I'm not trying to say anything about anyone here. Yes. Sorry for not knowing who was picking up. Yeah. With that sentence construction.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Perhaps. Perhaps I've visualized the horrific accident a little bit clear than some of you who are just learning about it right now. Right. Yeah. She was, she was just picking up some groceries, just doing a regular grocery. Some groceries. Some of the groceries.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Why not all? Well, we like to do half and half because there's different stores that have different things. So you pick up half. I go to Sprout. She goes to Ralph's. That's kind of our system. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Yeah. And so she was picking them up and then a drunk driver hit her. Okay. And yeah. Oh God. That. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:42 So how long has this been? Like a week and a half. Oh God. Okay. A lot of time actually. I think is usually what comedy. Yeah. It needs a lot of time.
Starting point is 00:48:50 Okay. But just as an exercise. Yeah. Okay. Retell that story. Okay. But say it in the same funny upbeat way that you were delivering the jokes about the, the, the weed fox.
Starting point is 00:48:59 These are good tips. Dan is a great standup comedian. So, so I would listen to what he says. So let's hear. Okay. If you're going to pick up some groceries and a drunk driver hits you cause he's going to get the weed, then the guy driving the vehicle might be a pothead. I could see you, you started off wrong, but you twisted back around to the drunk drivers.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Right. Yeah. That was skillful. That was skillful. Yeah. You know, the groceries, I suppose that makes me think. If, if you're, if your largest meal of the day is a snack, you might be a pothead. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:33 It seems like you're still going back to the pod head. Well, right. Okay. So that's it. That's the ending. The ending keeps coming in similar. It's what you're telling me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Yeah. Pretty much. Okay. Also the setups, the setups are similar as well. Yeah. In the middle. Okay. Definitely.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Yeah. You somehow took a tragic story about your wife's death and cut it up into parts about someone who may be a pothead. Like, like, okay. Yeah. Stay in the story. But tell it funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Do you have kids? I've got kids. I find, you know, they're in, they're in jail right now, but I find stuff they do funny. Do you have any kids? Sure. We're sharing the same jail with this pothead driver. Yeah. Wouldn't that be, wouldn't that be wild?
Starting point is 00:50:09 Oh, wait. Do you see him in jail? I don't know. No, he's not. No. He got off somehow. This is just a week and a half ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:17 A week and a half ago. Yeah. They're still figuring it out, but they said he seemed honest. So that's, uh, Are you okay to be here right now? Yeah. This, honestly, this is the only thing I'm funneling all of my power and energy on towards is just that.
Starting point is 00:50:26 There are tears streaming down your face. And I think that's one of the reasons the fake must. Yeah. My mustache fell off my head. Yeah. You can call it fake. I don't, I don't mean to imply that it's fake. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:50:36 It is real hair. Just not mine. Um, yeah. No, that I'm struggling a little bit, but, but like, like Dan here is pushing me to do, perhaps that's a reason for me to connect to something more honest and more real. There you go. Okay. So let me think about my life.
Starting point is 00:50:48 So, uh, if, if you're waking up crying all the time and just feels like maybe life isn't always worth living because the thing you trusted and the thing you loved is gone. And now you got to be the dad and now you got to take care of all your family. You weren't the dad before. You're all of a sudden trying to figure out, how do I even be a dad? I, I, I, I never even been a dad much. I got a seven year old and a 13 year old and I got to start being a dad to these kids. What am I, how am I going to do this?
Starting point is 00:51:21 So the, the only thing that gives you any peace of mind is a little bit of weed, a little bit of marijuana. You smoke weed? Then I, Scott, let him go. Scott, let him go. I might be a pothead. We'd killed his wife and he's here smoking it. I might be a pothead.
Starting point is 00:51:41 That was so brave. Okay. It wasn't funny. No, it wasn't funny. That is tough to hear. No. Okay. Hey, I have, I have a question.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Okay. This is a, you're not weed Seinfeld, are you? Well, I don't, I don't know why, why would you, do I look like weed Seinfeld? You're a tinier mustache, the Charlie Chaplin one. Yeah. If I were to pull on that. Oh, don't pull that one. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:52:07 I'm just going to reach over here and just, what's the deal with this guy? Okay. I knew, I knew something was off with your weed Seinfeld. What's the deal with that guy over here, huh? Over here. Over here. He's acting like a big ball of sand guy. You're pointing to yourself.
Starting point is 00:52:26 What's the deal with him? Do you have disassociative disorder or are you, various personalities? What's the deal with these big words? If I wanted big words, I'd smoke the didgeridoo. I want, I want weed Fox worthy back. Weed Seinfeld suck. You put the mustache back on. There we go.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Yeah. Yeah. What happened? I'm like the end of primal fear. We've ever seen that movie. Spoilers. Oh, okay. There's one of your personalities, the guy who spoils movies.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Yeah. Jesus. The prestige. There's actually two of them. They're twins. Right. That's what I call twins. Two of them.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Yeah. Hey, look at the, who are the twins who killed their dad? Oh, the Menendez. Menendez. I always want to say Mendoza. Oh, you could. I think we'd figure that out. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Context. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm feeling better. I'm feeling better. I'm going to, I'm going to go back to my house in the Gulf of Mexico and relax a little bit.
Starting point is 00:53:29 Oh, you may want to go. Oh, I've been, I haven't been there for a little while. Well, I got some good news for you, pal. Okay. You're getting $49.99 from a class action. Oh, okay. That's, yeah. I mean, that's enough for one go-go inflow.
Starting point is 00:53:44 Wow. Can I ask a question real quick? Yeah. Scott, why didn't you try and pull my mustache off? I didn't want to say anything. You saw the man sitting next to me and you tried to pull his mustache off. I'm sitting here with three mustaches on top of each other and you're not trying to pull a single one off.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Okay. Let's pull the first one off. Ouch. That didn't come off. You feel very comfortable just touching my face, don't you? Oh my God. I just got a text saying, my kids in my house all burned up. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:54:11 This is more important. The mustache. Yeah. Why did you ask me to pull off your mustache when they don't come off? I was just curious. I was curious why you were so comfortable pulling off this guy's mustache, but you didn't even try and pull off my mustache. But wait, your kids in my house and your house burned up?
Starting point is 00:54:27 I'm dead. Yeah. Oops. Your house is dead? And my kids. I haven't heard about the grass yet, but I'm guessing. Okay. Probably dead.
Starting point is 00:54:36 I'm really sorry. Comedy is tragedy plus time. Okay. 30 seconds have gone by. Okay. Try to get comedy out of it. Go. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Go. If you're lost to everybody you love in a horrific accident, and you can do it. You can do it. And you just want to, you just can't come on and think about it. We believe it. You got it. If comedy paper. Hold my hand.
Starting point is 00:55:07 If, if the man. Hold her mustache. Not too tight. What's the deal with bones? I mean, why do we call this stuff? Too far. Too far inside. Why do we call them bones?
Starting point is 00:55:24 I want to put, I don't want to put something on the girl. Bung in my lips. I want to put something called dick in my lips. Okay. All right. We signed up. You suck. We can't have a guy like you on the show anymore.
Starting point is 00:55:34 We get too many complaints. I think I got a little cowboy at the end of that one. All right. Look, we're running out of time. We just have time for one final feature on the show. And that is a little something called plugs. You don't know me, but I got ABD, but I'll tell you what I do. Hey.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Oh, there's that meow. That was plugs theme parentheses cat by Gordie Bray. Thank you to Gordie Bray for that wonderful plug bag theme. If you have one, go over to CBBworld.com slash plugs. I think. Yeah. That's where it is. It's been so long since I mentioned it.
Starting point is 00:56:34 I forgot. 15 seasons. 15 seasons. Yeah. All right, Dan. What do you want to plug here? Obviously we have undercooked is the book. Save the title again.
Starting point is 00:56:43 Undercooked how I let food become my life navigator and how maybe that's a dumb way to live. You can get anywhere. Also my podcast, Green Eggs and Dan. You can get anywhere. And then Cobra Kai, you can only get it Netflix. Cobra Kai Netflix steal a password. I steal my mom's password to watch myself on Cobra Kai.
Starting point is 00:57:02 That is not a lie. And also starting a new show on the YouTube's called the Vintage Roast where me and my friend Jessica watched Vintage Food Shows and comment on them. Okay. These are public domain food shows. I haven't thought this through. All right.
Starting point is 00:57:22 All great stuff. And then Taylor Stephanie, what would you like to plug? Well, here's what I'd like to plug. I'd like to plug in my phone in the master bedroom, but all your shit's plugged in, Scott. You've already been in the master bedroom. Look, you're not moving in. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:57:36 What do you mean? Exactly what I said. Which word do you have an issue with? Not moving in. Those are the words I have an issue with. Is that a combination? Yeah, in that order. Look, Scott, we're going to have to work something out.
Starting point is 00:57:47 I already moved all my stuff into your bedroom. When you say all your stuff, what did you move into my bedroom? Two suitcases, a bunk bed, my dog. Bunk bed. Yes. Where's Thomas going to sleep? All right. We can talk about this afterwards.
Starting point is 00:58:02 Do you have anything to plug right now or? No. Okay. Great. Oh, wait. Yes. I know somebody who's running a show at the Elysian theater in Los Angeles. Wow.
Starting point is 00:58:15 And as my Mima said, you should come. It is called Yeti for real and it happens on Sundays. It's supposed to be second Sundays, but has been a wild variety of different Sundays at 9 p.m. I see. I have no conception of what you're talking about. Okay. I'm leaving the room right now because I am going to use your bathroom.
Starting point is 00:58:36 All right. Fine. Weed Seinfeld or Weed Foxworthy, whichever one you are right now. Weed Foxworthy. Okay, great. What do you want to plug? If you like comedy bang bang, then you might like Holy Shit Improv. It's a show that you can watch from anywhere in the world online featuring so many great
Starting point is 00:58:52 comedy bang bang performers, Paul F. Comkins, John Gabriel, Lisa Gilroy, Lauren Lapkin, so many more. You can check it out. Holy Shit Improv on the old Instagram or patreon.com slash Holy Shit Improv for less than a price of one ticket you can watch every show we've ever done. And one more. Apple TV has a new show coming out in May with Rose Byrne and Seth Rogen. It's called Platonic.
Starting point is 00:59:15 From neighbors? It's even created by the people from neighbors. Wow. So if you enjoyed that, maybe check out that show. Really only watch. You can watch all of them if you want. My friend's in the first one. So I watched the pilot episode after that.
Starting point is 00:59:28 If you enjoyed, keep watching. What was wrong with this character that they didn't want him back after the first one? He has a character you think will come back and just does not. So maybe they found that it was kind of one note. Yeah, perhaps he was off putting on set. Who knows exactly why? Make the choices they do. I want to plug.
Starting point is 00:59:46 Look, we talked about it before the comedy bang bang, the podcast, the book out in stores now. It would be great if we were back on the list for the second week. I know we won't be, but still it's a wonderful dream. But you can get it right now and thank you to everyone who bought it and very thrilling to be so well received. Also, head over to CBBworld.com for, we have so many shows over there. We have CBB Presents shows like This Book Changed My Life and Hey Randy with Randy Snuts
Starting point is 01:00:18 and Andre P. Neuer's Entrepreneur Tour with Andre P. Neuer and Appetizer P. Neuer, as well as Parents Foster sometimes. So many great shows over there, ad free episodes of this show, as well as the archives, as well as ad free episodes in the archives of freedom. If you're only listening to comedy bang bang, you're just getting half the story. Close up the old plug bag. Yeah, that was Playback 99 by Good Marble. Thanks to Good Marble.
Starting point is 01:01:20 And guys, I want to thank you so much. Dan, always great to see you. Continued success to you. Always love seeing you pop up in my favorite shows and on in bookstores. It's all wonderful to see how you spun what you do into so many different facets of show business. I appreciate it. Thank you very much for having me. I forgot to plug my Instagram.
Starting point is 01:01:42 Is it too late? You want to go back in? I mean, we'd have to play the songs again. That's fine. I'll wait. Okay. All right. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:01:52 This is the opening, the plug bag theme, the one about the cat. I don't know me, but I got ABD. But I'll tell you what I do. I'm going to listen to listen to love. All right. Okay. We're back in. What would you want to plug you say?
Starting point is 01:02:25 My Instagram is at stand up down. Okay. Sorry, is there any way we can play it backwards? Because I'm trying to unplug this toilet. Why did she do the toilet? By the way, you just stepped back in the room. What toilet? Bad things.
Starting point is 01:03:17 And I put TP on the grocery list and it's your turn to go. Okay. Look, oh boy. I've never seen a toilet that needs to be plugged in more in my life. What in the heck? Taylor, Stephanie, you're not moving in, but I thank you for being here. And we Fox worthy. I don't know whether I can't say like, hey, please come back sometime.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Fair enough. Probably not good to say that. I will take you up on that offer if you do. Okay. Yeah, that's all right. Do you want to put on both of your most ashes again? Yeah, let me see if I can. What if your favorite guy in Jackass, if your favorite guy in Jackass is we man, because
Starting point is 01:04:06 you thought his name was weed man, he might be a pothead. Really good. All right. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Bye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.