Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Dan Mangan, Lauren Lapkus, Ryan Rosenberg

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Musician and returning champion Dan Mangan joins Scott to talk about his new album “Being Somewhere” and perform songs from it. Then, young attractive actor Cabin Fevver stops by to make a big announcement. Later, chiropractor Dr. Crack drops by to talk about having the loudest cracks on the internet. Plus, another exciting edition of Would You Rather!

I'm a Zendaya laden is in dollar short welcome to comedy bang bang. Reggie Watts thank you so much for the theme song but unlike last week I do not want to talk to you so we'll see you later thanks buddy pack your shit and get the hell out of here but get the hell in here to the rest of you welcome to comedy bang bang for another week first week of febby debbie boy the months are really going one at a time aren't they first you had the first one then the second one and now we are what in that middle of that second we're at the beginning definitely let's stop talking about the dates and the times and let's talk about what's coming up on the show first of all my name is scott augerman i'm your host and

we have a great show coming up a little later we have uh someone with an announcement all right someone with an announcement that'll be great really excited to hear what the announcement is maybe more than my excitement level in talking to the person whoever it is uh we also have a physician coming up all right so that'll be interesting we'll be talking to them about various ailments of the body i would imagine uh mine and someone else's i'm sure but before we get to them let's talk to our ablock guest he is a returning champion one of our oldest friends here on the show i believe uh he's been on since year two as herald ramus once talked about uh year two of the show is that possible i believe it was probably 2010 was the first episode he was

on i'm not uh suggesting you go back that far and listen to the episodes but maybe you can hear his songs and not listen to the rest of the episode i don't know but um he has a new album called being somewhere and i'll tell you where he is right now he's here on comedy bang bang please welcome back our good friend dan mangan hi hello nice to be here thank you for uh for having me i just talked for a really long time and then you come in you're really short i was like hoping to take a breath maybe get some water and you just you know i um here he goes okay you do the you do the sip i'm gonna keep talking until the keep going no no you can do okay i'm done i'm done i'll take it back over because that was a snore um dan welcome back to the show you're

one of our good friends you 2010 i believe was your first episode for and i was for oh fortune 2012 because or 2011 maybe because that record came out at the end of 2011 okay it was we can both agree though it was in the 2000s first earwolf studio right next to the dispensary that's right uh a very ignominious start uh you wandered into this room wondering what was in store for you i didn't know about the podcast i didn't know uh much but then you know sarah silverman and knickroll sat down and i thought this is kind of interesting and then i played a bunch of sad songs and uh you keep inviting me back so i haven't bummed everyone out yet yeah i we are bummed out but we love being bummed out by your your songs you have that

if people haven't heard dan's previous episodes or any of his records uh just stop the podcast right here and go listen to those instead it's way more entertaining yeah but then you came back i think for your successive next two records uh and then also every time we're in vancouver you're nice enough to come and play with us it's been awesome to be able and the timing has always worked i'm always in town you're always there yeah i have no life and uh it's great um the people of the comedy bang bang fans in vancouver have come to expect you know that i yeah you're not a surprise anymore when we say we have a surprise guest they're like oh dan mangan yeah we know yeah way to go you got him again um no it's been it's been an absolute blast i i think uh i don't want to boast

but i think i've more than nico case more than oh definitely i think nico's only been on twice but jump stars they've been on twice as well plus torcal did a uh a cvb fm so that's right yeah dear dear lord do i love torcal cambell yes wonderful person but speaking of wonderful people you are one of them uh you have a new record called being somewhere and you know i've heard of being there but being somewhere does that make sense even it's a bit of a play there's there's a song on the record called uh wish i was here which is a play on wish you were here but isn't wish you were here a play on wish i was here already i don't think so do you know something i don't know no i i mean you hear wish you were here oh no okay yeah i guess you see that on postcards and it's like

yeah it's like other pink floyd's wish i was here you know yeah no that doesn't work you're right um so back to uh a play of there's a song called i wish i was there wish i was here wish i was doesn't wish i was there make more sense yeah no it's it's a joke oh it's a joke it's just a good one uh and then being somewhere is a bit of a play on being there which is a great peter dollars not to get back to this but it's impossible not to be a place you're at well that's the idea uh i knew when i titled my album being somewhere that people would ask me uh what does that mean is really just the title of an album when you when you title an album you're looking far into the future and you're like okay if i'm on a dumb show like comedy bang game because what am i going

to talk to you about the music no i have no idea right all i have is the title and the titles of songs to go on so i'm gonna be like oh how'd you come up with the the title of the album yeah you're gonna be answering this question for like a year at this point right because you're on tour you're out there doing radio spots and stuff like that so is that does that factor in when you're choosing a title of like what do i want to talk about for the next year yeah because every journalist is going to be like so tell me what does being somewhere mean to you you know and then you have to give a very eloquent answer that makes you sound smart i think to i to be honest i think being somewhere is uh the best explanation i can give of how it feels to exist you're just being somewhere

okay yeah all right interesting and then later you might be somewhere else that's true you know i guess it's like that rick d's saying wherever you go there you are yeah and uh do you like being compared to rick d's i don't know who that is i don't know who that is well he was a uh uh he was a broadcaster he was a disc jockey on kiss fm but he also had a number one hit and the number one single in america disco duck that's very hard to do it is very hard to do yeah um yeah but i believe he coined that phrase uh he at the very least titled his record uh of uh dj bits which i'll tell you i listened to when i was 12 and i laughed my silly ass off doesn't hold up you still get back into that oh yeah every yeah listen to it every day every morning right before the show um so

being somewhere is a long playing record and uh i'm gonna guess it's approximately between one and five thousand songs yep nailed it yeah if you go it is nine songs it's actually a short okay long play album it is 31 minutes uh which i think is the maximum attention span we can give anything why couldn't you write more though i just go on lazy man lazy you are one of the laziest musicians i've ever met yes that's true uh it was only during the pandemic long distance um you know with this great producer drew brown it's worked back i think lives around here and please don't give away our location and uh uh radiohead and all these amazing they do not live around here i'll tell you that much that would be so crazy to like wake up get the paper and tom york is like

your next door neighbor going yeah just giving you the finger you know yeah yeah uh i think he's good at giving the finger i think that's kind of his move wouldn't he do the the the backwards v though because he's from uh jolly old england yeah what do you guys give the the the middle the fuck finger or do you do the backwards v no we give the fuck finger because oh my god i totally forgot to tell the audience you're from canada okay now they can relax it i'm noticing something's weird it all makes sense they can find okay how about that so so you do you guys do it you you give the birds just like that yeah like sometimes one and then sometimes you kind of like swirl them around like an old-fashioned boxer you know kind of like uh like in in the old timey sense

does that just you or is that all of can i i picked it up somewhere i mean i gleaned it from maybe i gleaned it from kids in the hall you know i don't know so where so so then what is it once you cross the atlantic that's when they start doing the v the back no i think they do the finger in england i think the finger in england but that's ours i think that's america i think the the v thing is like italy it's a continental no because you would always see johnny rotten doing and be like fuck you and all that oh yeah i mean i don't i that is true he and he was good at hating queens and things yeah look i may as well just ask you about the bear naked ladies or something like that that's like because that's what you are really is the extent of my knowledge

sc tv kids in the hall bear naked ladies so let's run down some of the titles because this is all i have to go on the the the title of the record and the title of the songs what are some of the titles of the songs track one and we'll like tell them to us and we'll make fun of it okay okay okay okay track one is called all my people okay so the first thing that that makes me think of is all my children yes which is a soap opera here in the states i don't know whether you oh yeah they carry that up in canada oh yeah um big famous soap opera i'm not sure if it's on the air still but i would imagine like 50 year time span it's been on the air does that have anything to do with that it is not about soap operas it's about feeling like before everything goes to

shit we need one big party okay so all my children know all my people all my people is a song all right well let me let me see if i can let me do a number then you tell me what's okay and we'll see if you've memorized your album okay seven seven is called long after long after yeah okay so long i know a lot of things that are long you nailed it um but uh what what what what is this about uh it's about uh you know what is it about uh it's we got to fill up time in the a-block yeah it's about it's about uh you know long after uh my wife is dead i'm gonna find ways to love her for no after i'm dead because i'm playing on dying first sounds to me like so i'm consciously you have a different

plan a bit of a Freudian slip going on uh long after i die i will find new ways to love her it's very sweet it's not very funny you're not gonna have any brain activity i know that's what's cool about it is that i know did you now okay you've been married now and your wife is a lovely woman i'm gonna guess you've been married between one and eight thousand years ten years nailed it ten years okay and did you play her that song when you first thought of it uh and we're like honey yeah yeah yes you didn't buy christmas presents but got you something else i did play it for her and she cried it was awesome that's that's all you want you know you just want tears that's why we're in this business i play uh cool up episode to comedy bang bang she cries and cries and cries

she leaves the room after approximately 15 seconds yeah well dan you're gonna be doing songs uh how many do you want to do we didn't discuss this whatever you like man two three what you said two first which sounds like you want to do two and i was gonna say three because that's how many i want you to do should you do two and a half i'll do at the end you just like in the middle of it just like trail off i'll we'll do two for sure and then uh three if uh if you feel it okay if there's like a lull if there's a oh you're gonna be playing way more than three songs uh well dan mangan is here being somewhere is the record it's out now it's been out for a little bit uh like about a month or so and uh really gorgeous beautiful record we're gonna be hearing songs from it a

little later we have to get to our uh i'm just gonna say first guest but you're our first guest but you're like family yeah and you know this a block was so memorable because my conversation skills are so good i know you're best you're best you're the best i think that's the best you could do no you're best yeah no you're best all right well we need to get to our next guest um i mentioned there's someone with an announcement here and uh he's a young attractive actor um and he has an announcement let's welcome him uh please welcome cabin feather hey hey cabin oh wow i'm so excited i'm saying that correctly yeah you're saying it's just you're saying it just right it's cabin because you know the cabin feather the l and the v if like put him to smush him together

in the handwriting it looks like it feels like sex ed when you know in an l and a v oh yeah together yeah well actually i shouldn't really talk about that oh why are you did you sign an nda before your sex ed no it's just i shouldn't really be bringing up that kind of topic oh okay how old of a young man are you do you mind my age is 16 so 16 trips around the sun excuse me the uh not not sun as in a child of a i thought you wanted me to trip 16 times around your son i do not have a son unfortunately all right i do have a nepo baby but she's a girl hey gotta throw up my respect to the nepo babies i'm not one but i love you that's nice here um so my mom was a single mom working at the bars she let me come sit around the bar floor she's

shells um she was a waitress slash well i shouldn't talk about that here you shouldn't talk about the other thing that she was other than being a waitress yes because she was a sex worker oh because it's inappropriate for me to say because of my announcement oh okay do you want to make your announcement i'd like to make my announcement by the way this is dan mangan oh hi i'm so rude i haven't been taught to introduce myself to big fan by the way hello oh oh wow that's just the canadian in him he has no idea who you are i'm a big fan as well of so many things i can't say that and then add on of so many things my favorite things are bananas records okay like world records yes get a spoke okay and what's your favorite world record

pieces of bubblegum jumped over jumped over yeah that's gotta be a lot they're so tiny 16 is it stacked i can beat this hey you should try we could do it for the next segment oh yeah uh hey we're only doing two songs today we're gonna be jumping over bubblegum do you want to hear my announcement sir uh yeah what do people call you i like sir i like i like it when i hear it okay sir well my big announcement is disney has just signed me as the best new heartthrob coming soon to tv he signed you as the best new heartthrob yeah is that an official title it is that's why i can't talk about the lv or my mom's job oh okay so you what does this mean you mean you're you've you've landed a role in a new disney project yeah i'm gonna be the star of my own show sir oh okay well

uh this that's great i mean uh i used to have my own show so i mean we're really relating you can tell me all about it sometime yeah well it's a lot of work i mean everyone expects uh so much from you but i'm sure you're not sure i called you stud you didn't hear me actually now that i hear that i prefer it oh he's dead i yeah i'm not i'm not show running but i will be in the room writing all the episodes you'll be writing okay well they have me what i'll be doing is they'll set up my my phone on instagram live and i'll have a computer in front of me and i'll be typing you won't see what i'm writing but it'll look like i'm writing the episode oh okay and i will be that's kind of insulting to people who actually wrote their show or at least had their friends

do it for them and they put their name on it but look uh what is the show the show is gonna be so great it's all about my childhood growing up in the bar growing up in the bar okay so just the waitressing part with your mom is your mommy man did you ever grow up in a bar uh i grew up in a giant maple leaf oh and wrapped inside a canoe oh and it was launched down the saint laurence river just like a squirrel yeah that's beautiful sir um but sorry stud but i would my my parents were beavers so i know sometimes if that tells you anything about the other side of the equation yeah so is your whatever else your mother did at the bar so the beavers were doing the lv the lv were rubbing up against each other yeah when when beavers have sex

and forgive me for saying this because i'm not supposed to be talking about it but when beavers have sex they slap each other's pussy with a tail that is a good question how did we even clear that with disney before you just cut it out please i'm not supposed to be saying that of course unfortunately our editing machine is still broken i feel like today is my 16th birthday congratulations where did you see two beavers having sex and by the way are these two these are two lesbian beavers yeah i saw it on your tube you're curated youtube there's this only hentai i was i received a link in advance and you said please study yes see which which one should be the single yeah yeah he did and i am a singer too

oh okay i'll hear my new song yeah i suppose so okay well not right now okay no i'll do it that's i'm not begging you i could take it really i'll sing it bubbles bubbles bubbles going pop pop pop hey that's that's memorable that's a good top line bubble excuse me because because they're gonna get real mad if i don't sing it straight through bubbles bubbles bubbles going pop pop pop i love the fizzy water when it goes on top of my tongue unfortunately you didn't do it all the way through you're gonna have to try again excuse me studs sorry both studs bubbles bubbles excuse me and obviously we'll have a filter on it

bubbles bubbles obviously bubbles bubbles going pop pop pop the bubbles feel so good when they fall on top of my tongue did you write that yes wow with some other songwriters yes of course there are 15 people listed on the track and i did do a little bit on the computer during it okay surfing the web so you're basically i was looking at pictures of bubbles to inspire my tone what websites were you on i was on your tube dot dorg dorg dot dorg wait do you ever use do you ever get inspiration from images yeah what kinds you know uh pictures of your wife pictures of my wife pictures pictures of other people's wives um my wife is so beautiful i'm sure one day are you married now no i hope so

you hope to be married one oh yeah i would say you're a little young to be married i'm going to be a virgin until that day oh okay so you're what is that a religious thing or is that uh that is a corporate choice oh disney is making you be a virgin how can by the way i need to but i need to spell disney for you oh oh it's diz and ee oh so this is spell that for you this is not the official disney this is official disney disney disney disney oh with a little accent yeah disney disney i just needed to say that because they've gotten in trouble before yeah i would imagine they're still getting in trouble because i don't think they can do that but again um so i'm scared hold me studs all right well dan let's go over and hold him okay by both legs

um cabin this sounds like a good opportunity for you but i it's based on your life i can't quite tell what the show is does it have a title it's a multi-cam sitcom multiple cameras there's three or four and the show is called cabin fever starring cabin fever cabin fever with cabin feather yeah i mean it's kind of good it's kind it's not bad i mean it's like kind of taking your name and yeah i talk about my desire to get out of the bar because that life is so hard so most of it i'm underneath the bar in my scenes oh talking to peanut shells talking to are they alive or animated oh they do so are they anthropomorphic or do they just lay there on the if they're animated but they just they're animated but you think they just lay there i have no idea they get up

on the legs slut okay now we've changed the slut i'm not sure that i like this i miss watching that video of those beavers it was a great way to start my day so essentially this is it made me feel very flat this is a multi-cam sitcom with animated peanut shells that will be animated after the taping i would imagine yeah uh they're not doing it live slut and you're and we're seeing your mom's like legs are like up at babies yeah yeah but you'll hear a voice too oh okay what is she saying and i want to know who's playing your mom my mom oh yeah well it was narrowed down to three actresses three amazing talents all brought to one room and we love them all dearly their names were christmas valentine marylead weathers and darlene smith all neppo moms yeah wow who who

got the park though i mean it's weird to talk about who didn't get the park when you're the park rather uh christmas valentine got the park christmas valentine got the park no she got the park the park oh okay who got the park then so you're giving away consolation prizes to the people who didn't get the role christmas valentine got the park she got central park she gets to live in it oh she's oh she's homeless is every or unhoused no i don't know what she she may or may not have a home there and i've never gotten to visit because we haven't spoken since but i miss her very very barely because i spent so much time with her doing the audition process i almost thought she was my mother so who got the part the part the part was given merrily weathers got the part in her hair

got the part in her hair okay so her hair was was just straight it was brushed back and had no part okay but she always wanted one right i love seeing a hell of Baldwin's hairstyle recently i have i think i was talking to my friend about this it's just a bizarre thing quite it's quite an electric it's like the ed grimly yes and i've seen it in multiple pictures it's as if he walked into a wall and then sprayed gel he's like hey i like the look so this ow hey wait a minute um and so then the person who got the part is the final actor darlene smith darlene smith okay yeah she got the part he thrown for her for getting the part oh okay you're a big party wonderful and everyone performed everyone performed too the director of the show did a dance

did you do did you do your bubble song i i sang it but it was more um you know at work obligations it feels weird to perform your art yes so i felt a little bit cheap okay so so they threw a big party for one after getting the part i shouldn't have said that slut cut that part i can't i'm telling you can you just grab my visage uh well you as i was told to say you are a young attractive actor yes i am my lips are so big you have big uh you know uh dsl's that's the main is that the cable that gets plugged into the tv i think so that's the main thing i would say about you when i'm looking at you that's how i got the part what but we can't talk about that i mean just because i'm beautiful you are you you i'm a beautiful young boy you seem

to have kind of sudden onset alopecia you don't have any huh oh on my body it hasn't come in yet slut okay but in my head i have a beautiful five spike hairdo that's true you on your body so it's almost like you're upside down because normally it's almost like that an old person you're an upside down old person because an old person has no hair no hair on top but then they have plenty on the bottom do they doesn't it doesn't get wait but i saw my grandfather naked once they got so wispy on his legs and arms well almost disappeared right yeah because it changes colors much like the seasons the the leaves change oh yeah i love leaves i wrote a song about that actually oh i'd love to hear it well my team did okay excuse me blast off the leaves are falling out the trees don't they

go no leaves and go into my knees that's amazing your your managers are gonna be really upset you didn't get through the whole thing i know because i still crying it's so pretty i have goosebumps yeah and when i said the leaves were going to my knees what i meant by that was two different things oh what are the two one is that there's so many leaves falling it's like i'm walking through them up to my knees okay and two is like i'm falling to my knees rejoicing that our heavenly father created such a beautiful tree are you you're religious no my dad's the maker of all trees that's what i was told as i grew up your dad my dad created trees i'm a nepo baby the ultimate nepo baby meaning god is your father or just you thought that your father created trees i've never

met my dad oh i was told he's all around me because he made all the trees uh i doubt that he did honestly unless trees are all fake and they're man made i've not done have you have any uh you know about maple leaves did he work at home depot um maybe i should go there and talk to every single person it's possible that he sold trees that i mean you may have misheard it yes a little it's like the telephone game you know i think you're right that's okay oh well i'm sorry that you didn't know your dad but maybe it's driven you to succeed the way that you have it has but now i feel like i don't really need to oh because now i know that he's just some guy who sold trees are you quitting the show yeah i think i don't want to do it anymore wait convince me to stay i'm i i honestly do not

have a horse in this race i don't care if you stay i don't care if you go you could walk out this door right now i would not give one shit but i signed a contract you made me sign a paper uh i mean that's just standard you know anyone who does the podcast has to sign one of those but do you want to hear a scene from the show i guess so yeah do you need us to help out yeah i'll give you the lines all right these are the peanuts lines okay your peanut one and your peanut two okay who are you again i'm sorry this is my line i'm not just asking this i'm the guy who lives here here this is a bar that we're in and my line is i'm a peanut yeah okay i i got a pause i thought that was great this this is weird we're setting the scene we're setting the scene so the peanut is

just giving some what they call pipe yeah laying some like that's a little explanation you know we're in a bar i'm a peanut so on and so forth right i have to feel i i can't help but feel that my line was very expositional it was yeah we needed it can i tell you a secret sure but you promise you won't tell anyone i unfortunately i cannot promise that no so if those are the conditions i'm out okay can i tell you it yeah yeah you promise absolutely scott don't listen okay i'm turning off your muffs i'm 39 whoa what what'd you say i'm not a woman he said what did he say i have a beautiful high voice because i'm 16 he said that uh he um grew up in the bar but actually good job dang you're lying that uh now he lives um uh under a log

in the word are you just reading your second line by the way next this is this writing is terrible is it who who should i fire or should i quit the show mr mengen what do you think is my voice getting higher i think as you get older your voice is getting higher oh yeah i'm aging every minute but you're still beautiful oh thanks weird things say to a young boy well i i feel like that's important unless you have some sort of new information to tell me i'm to go to think that you're a weirdo calling a 16 year old boy but you called me attractive i did well you told me to but you didn't have to do what i said i'm not your boss i think you should quit i think you should follow your dreams and follow your heart

wow what is it that you really want to do that cabin fabbin fabbin my real dream is to have my own sloppy barbecue store oh like a store where you sell barbecue a kutra long like like mostly just the juice the grills just juice just barbecue juice juice fat and sloppy sauce and i want everyone to be covered in the stuff and i want to have wrestling matches in the center is that normal you want the employees to be covered in gross barbecue sauce and i want the ad to be ball about my dsl and i go um sloppy barbecue all over my dsl well look i uh uh cabin feather uh can you stick around because i feel like there's still some to unpack but we have to take a break that's okay but before we take the break uh dan are you ready

to sing your uh first of in uh not sure how many songs yeah absolutely this will be good and what what are you gonna sing here if if you don't mind me i hope you don't mind me ask you i don't i don't what's that you're holding uh this is a guitar you've never seen a guitar before no i'm gonna do a song called just know it just know it okay so this is a play on just do it the that's right it's nikey slogan it's about nikey it's about nikey and about my um unsettled lawsuit with them okay all right this is just know it by dan mangan from the new record being somewhere take it away dan true dirt and it always shows up dead last when the party is over when you just know it

two birds one stone one's cast one's thrown you can't turn throw it you're gonna wear me out you're gonna wear me out just know it you're gonna wear me out time burns like a old home it moves fast and kills slowly when you just know it two birds one stone and pick last and send home and now you can't not throw it you're gonna wear me out you're gonna wear me out just know it you're gonna wear me out and i i have wondered why be swallowed why be wrestled you're gonna wear me out

you're gonna wear me out just know it you're gonna wear me out bubbles bubbles i like when they rise to the top i like my bubbles bubbles you know this part i like when they rise to the top i like my bubbles my bubbles i like when they rise to the top i like my bubbles my bubbles my bubbles my bubbles oh my god that was beautiful wow amazing uh collab oh here the i mean you know this is should we go on tour this is the kind of collab oh that can only happen on comedy bang bang all right we're gonna take a break when we come back we have a physician very exciting and more cabin feather more dan mangan will be right back with more comedy bang bang after this

comedy bang bang we're back dan mangan is here just played at the end of the last block just played a beautiful song from being somewhere his new long playing record which is out right now approximately 31 minutes nine songs it seems to me like it's about three and a half minutes per song is that about right good math yeah all right wow you really get down to the nitty gritty that's very true all my songs are 23 seconds and barely that if you laugh before they come out it's called crying emotionally oh okay this is cabin feather uh and i'm a very attractive what what did you say uh he told me to say he's a young attractive actor with a big announcement you made your announcement but now you've been wrestling whether you're gonna quit the show or

not well i've just learned so much from you guys hmm ever since we've been talking everything's changed in what manner well i feel like i've learned i should that i should be more in charge you said oh other people are doing it for you other people did this or that and you're right i should do it all myself okay so what are you gonna do about it i'm going to open an office an office like that uh like a that you were gonna work at or that uh i'll open an office and i'll sit in there and i'll do all my work in there i'm sad that you're giving up on your sloppy barbecue dreams already yeah you're gonna do an office job instead of the sloppy barbecue okay that was a test to see if you guys remember that so you're gonna do the barbecue thing if you think i should if it

was a good enough idea that it stuck with you i mean this office thing sounds pretty cool too the office thing does sound really good i've never been in an office but i'm just sitting in an office all day just doing his work yeah like i'd have a desk and a paper yeah one paper one pencil staple a staple sure and a glue sure one doubt of glue just in case you never know when you might need a little bit i think this sounds better this is better than the bar this is better than i mean i have a personal question yeah have you ever put a dot of glue on the tip of your penis to cover the hole or just wait yours has a hole and then see where the pee comes out oh wow canadian penises don't have holes nope oh this makes more sense where the pee comes out

just to see where the pee comes out what does it mean once there's no hole anymore where does it go it goes back into the body uh oh yeah so you're saying if i did that pee might be filling my feet to my knees yeah and suddenly your eyes would turn yellow when it reaches your eyes i'd look like Michael Jackson and thriller you're a big Michael Jackson fan never heard of him yeah it's probably best uh well let's get to our next guest he is a physician i have all sorts of medical ailments i want to talk to him about so uh we'll we'll uh figure out exactly what's going on with all of our bodies first time for him to be on the show please welcome to the show for the first time dr crack hey scott thanks for having me dr crack here to help you out

interesting name dr crack yeah well it's a nickname it's uh it's a nickname you know i did were you like are you a crack dealer i wish i wish i had that you wish you were correct i wish i had that kind of money oh you wish that you were reaping the benefits from it not necessarily doing the job yes yes i am a chiropractor a master of the chiropractic arts oh wow uh what got you into that well uh good chime in well i knew i wanted to be in medicine but i wasn't very smart and didn't want to do any medicine you know so i wanted the degree so you know that shonkannery movie medicine man uh-uh you're like the opposite oh you don't even know i don't even know it hmm yeah sorry about that it's okay okay i don't i'm not saying you have to know we could

take a break and watch it yeah do you want to okay let's take a break all right let's go to a break okay and we're back and uh not a very good movie that doesn't really hold up honestly to what we were saying no yeah not good sleep a little bit yeah but i had a dream about a medicine man shonkannery does have that big long ponytail in though it was i could fix that oh that's part of what you do with caro with chiropractic oh chiropractor that's what people don't know is do you know how to pronounce it by the way chiropractory okay that's how you really say you need to really pronounce every letter a lot of people say car practice god you know it's like it's like a lot of people saying star night life yeah yeah what's with that it's saturday night

live and by the way it's five words that's not even accurate because it's more like wednesday afternoon on tivo is when i get a chance to watch it i hear you man i hear you i play it in all my offices like when you're at the dentist i play it up the corner like up the do you do you have because chiropractic you're i can't even say it now i know it's tough it's tough but it's chiropractory people are normally like you should make it into a song and then you'd remember how to pronounce it all people when they come into your office they're like face down yeah ass up this is the way we like to fuck that's the way we like to fuck yeah yeah and sometimes but sometimes just staring at the ceiling sometimes i have tv's everywhere i have a tv on the ceiling i have a tv

on the corner and then of course i have one mounted right underneath the face hole have you ever gotten on top of someone like a 69 to crack their body of course have you ever put a dab of glue over the face hole that's such a great question yeah what i will do i'll put a dab of glue over the mouth hole in the nose holes and see how they do through the session we should know the table is like it's flat and then there's a little hole for the eyes and a little hole for the mouth yes and there's a little hole for the penis as well or pussy whatever i don't think you need one for the pussy well you you're a man i could tell yeah you don't know how to bulge about the bulge yes we should be able to breathe out of our ears do you agree or no it's so weird you have this head

right no you have this head and then like you breathe out of this big hole which one you breathe out of these two holes okay he's pointing to his butt but he can't breathe out of these holes it doesn't make sense you need to see a doctor you don't breathe out of your butt that's farting yeah that's farting technically that's why you think his breath always smells but yeah that is why your breath smells well tell us about your business dr crack because and who's nicknaming you this i'm a chiropractor famous for the loudest cracks on the internet oh my business was going fine i was seeing people around the normal orange county area oh you're from orange you know i grew up around

there you did what part did you what part do you coast amesa coast amesa i went to school in coast amesa you did i did yeah what is there a college there yes okay that's a just a junior college just a junior college oh you're surprised because i'm so smart you're so smart yeah you have your own business yeah yeah okay i would you believe i did not even graduate from a junior college yeah interesting why you didn't care about the degree yeah well i was just like i know everything i need to know i'm gonna start my own business that's how i felt i printed my certificate i put it on the wall and i said why do other people need to approve it exactly my certificate are you telling me not to go to finish high school and do college yes don't finish high school do college oh yeah yeah

and and then i would see if they'll let you in first okay i'll try and do sloppy first i would honestly sloppy is better or sloppy second ooh sloppy first and sloppy seconds maybe which should you call your place sloppy seconds the sloppiest barbecue sloppy first because you don't want to think someone else already ate the meat right sloppy well you're not selling meat you're selling the fat yeah but the fat's coming from a meat speaking of selling the fat i should do that yeah oh wow people's backs hard enough they'll have a fat discharge they will where does the fat come out yeah from where the pores pores sometimes sometimes pores so just like loses out like play dough have you ever seen the pooping pig yeah i'm proud to say that i'm not you shouldn't

be proud of that isn't it like a little keychain it's a little keychain you squeeze it and poop comes out but the poop goes back in so you don't have to worry we have to shove poop back up a pig's rectum with this toy no it's a keychain it goes in automatically and poop and pig that's what it does oh so in poops out poops in because otherwise if it didn't go back in it would have no more poop and you'd have to buy more yeah you don't have to feed the pig yeah it's like but you do it under a subscription model you know it's like we'll send you poop every day oh like a patreon yeah yeah i like that pays you go though yeah shark tank idea pooping pig releases poo needs more poo comes every month the second your wi-fi tells you it's out that's genius are you

gonna buy my idea i mean i have the funds i would love to i got extra dr money oh dr crack will you please crack my back right now absolutely oh yeah i want to hear one of these famous loud cracks climb up on the couch oh i was going to have you climb up on the couch oh i could do that i mean no i'll get what i do with the couch or your table and i'll go from the couch okay so let me just get you down here all right cabins laying on the on the table you got to stretch it out a little relax the muscles you can't just go right at it feels good doesn't it oh that's an l5 release do you feel that fucking christ yeah see that's a release his whole voice oh my god that look very impressive oh my god oh my god your lips oh my god what they're going

away they're shrinking no they're dribbling back up into your body oh my god which is having the opposite of a pooping dig this is horrible i'm so sorry but i got to be honest you're healed but from what i just lost my whole career for sure okay well let me try bubbles bubbles oh no okay let me see if i can crack it back let me see if i can crack it back yeah fix him please fix him because that was an l5 release what have you put the l5 back in yeah let me put the l5 back in and let me work on the cervical i sound like i'm sick by the way i didn't hear any loud crack i just heard you shouting oh well sometimes my shout's over a shout of the cracks i heard it you're famous for the loudest cracks i would assume they're louder than your shouts i guess so let's hear a loud let's

hear a loud one okay okay please whatever you could do sir okay so lay down flat on your back cross your arms and on this one make a big puffy face because we want those lips to come now i'm gonna grab your head here okay give us duck give us duck face okay okay go feel it yeah right there you feel that you feel that uh that little tough point yeah i really okay uh did it work she's british she's british he's british i think something worked turned in british i think something well that's closer but not quite right doctor and your lips are like one side of them what like so maybe like a british two-faced that's a career is that what you we wanted a career i've always wondered what would two-faced be like if he were british i've always wondered that

i guess uh i'll see uh mcdonald's they wouldn't take it oh really we have the batman toys oh oh that mcdonald's give me one more crack just to see what happened and by the way we didn't hear a crack at all we just heard you shouting usually on my tiktok i put the microphone right seems to be like if a guest comes on says i'm famous for having the loudest cracks in the world they're prepared to do some loud cracks well i'm doing loud cracks i'm just also talking into the microphone maybe the microphone's not picking it out i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna mute your mic okay here we go okay okay we're gonna fix you up here whoops haven't muted it let me mute your mic okay here we go here we go okay yeah i want to be well yeah doc i want to be how it was before doc

okay and now uh i have a mic next to the back and we're not gonna be able to hear him shouting at all we're just gonna hear the crack here we go one more time well there it is there it is hold up i may have i may have muted that that mic that was supposed to do the crack hold on let me let me mute your mic again wait so you're gonna do it again all right okay i'm still not normal i'm muted my dsl's are more like i don't know just a little coaxial cables yeah okay and now i've unmuted the the one next to the crack come on come on i need this okay i'm unmuting your mic now doc all right now how did those feel because those were extreme

i feel really good is my lips back i think they're back you seem better to me you seem more like the cabin feather are my eyes still black all around luckily yes luckily your eyes are still black all around you've got your original green pigment and you look really really good to me you look to me how you came in oh thank god doc your back one shoulder is a little higher than the other just leave it i can't risk this again yeah it looks dislocated okay you said you had a lot of that was not a loud crack it wasn't no that was very slight it felt really in fact when i unmuted the mic there was barely any difference it felt so loud in my ear that's right it felt like you know what it makes me want to write a song oh yeah i'd love to hear dr crack he laid me on my back

dr crack wait you're getting you know what i figured i'd be on the track he's on the track he put glue in my mouth hole and glue in my nose holes dr crack and glue in my eyes holes dr crack and one little glue in my penis okay i don't know about didn't you hear those loud cracks at the end okay those were monster i don't know i don't know about this well scott why don't you test your i don't know you any money right no no no we're both okay now scott thank you so much for dressing up in the uh outfit i asked you to get this skin tight leotard on yeah i made sure yeah i got this mailed it wasn't even mailed because it was like a messenger service and a cheetah print yeah it's a cheetah print skin tight leotard yeah why am i filming

this because i'm gonna be filming this one putting it on the tiktok oh i really oh that'll get the eyes that'll get the eyes for sure i would i i would be a celebrity do you know how big my tiktok is how big 200 million followers mostly chinese okay sure still that's an untapped i'm big on tiktok china okay yeah i would love to okay this sounds good okay great all right so where what do you need to act like a kitty cat or anything like that or whatever you want now i kind of want to just oh you have your tail on sir oh you brought a tail that's not calling me slut anymore oh maybe that was a side effect of the cracking i'll get back there okay now as a physician when i look at you i i i see your discomfort you have diarrhea right now is that right yeah uh

that's baseline for me okay well it doesn't have to be what i can extend your spine loosen up your bowels so i just have the diarrhea this one time because this one time this empty it all out i got a big bucket right next to the table and this will be the last one you ever have it's a colonoscopy crack basically colon cleanse wow i yeah i would know i could do that did you mean how big just pseudoscience how big is this diarrhea gonna be will you tell me how much do you have how much do you have you look like you're 50 pounds overweight diarrhea only oh no not not fat you look bloated just diarrhea only yeah it's kind of brown hue i'm predicting you could lose 50 pounds of diarrhea right now because i brought a big bucket it's one of those home depot black buckets with the yellow

did you see her his dad this is hard for me i'm sorry did you well get figure it out did you see my daddy at home depot i thought he made all the trees turns out i think he was just selling him oh no but maybe he works there i didn't see anybody there it was a it was a quiet anybody it was a quiet day it wasn't just self-service checkout or self-serve yeah i picked no one in the home depot was it was one person doing the highlighter at the exit but i only had the one item so they were like you're good oh okay yeah this is the dream home depot trip for me scott i know what your dream is what's that loses 50 pounds of diarrhea okay let's get to top up on the table here we go oh i am the eye holes i am the eye holes nose and the nose holes

oh i feel like i'm 60 90 i'm backwards penis hole is optional yeah i'm do you want to take off your my mouth is on the penis hole i think let me oh i feel good i don't feel like any way you want hey i know let me slowly switch it to where i went okay would you would you want to know do i want to take off what do you want to take off your bottoms bottoms yeah because you're going to be spewing ria here in a second yeah i probably do i want to save this nice okay well you sure may would catch it you know yeah we can either go into the bucket or into the diaper i brought a large time as well i'm gonna go into the bucket okay perfect i mean you'd pick bucket too wouldn't you i'd pick bucket i'd pick diaper you pick diaper because i like squishy i'm a bucket

guy you're but yeah we're hey we're men we like the bucket i'm not a man yet i like anything purchased at home depot yeah oh yeah from cabins all right so how do we do this what do i need to do penis in the penis hole eyes in the eyes hole nose in the nose hole all check check check now what i'm going to do is wrap a head uh towel around your head okay i'm going to get up above your head okay and i'm going to pull it as hard as i can away from your body okay and you're going to feel this crack every got it vertebrae in your back it's going to pull your tailbone out of your asshole it's what's going to feel like okay and this is not going to be ahead me right not usually i'll take those you'll take the risk yeah ready and this will be the loudest

crack you've ever heard or felt okay here we go okay yeah i'm just gonna get behind you here do a little duck down okay yeah i feel that i feel that yep yep there's where it is yeah there's where it is yeah yeah yeah i can't get it i can't get it yep yeah really gotta yank on the head sometimes yeah splash now hold on you're making the sound effects yeah with the diarrhea is coming out nobody can deny the diarrhea is silent but deadly diarrhea well i'm also sbd for my dsls i hate to admit this but i'm also an aspiring fully artist oh why you hate to admit that you want to be in the biz we should admit that no i just i'm embarrassed most people think he's a doctor he's got enough no some of your sounds now that the diarrhea is still flowing silently

okay but give us some of your other while it's continuing i want to hear what is that is that a siren what is it european ambulance oh that was good this is for like a spy thriller set in another country that's a police siren in europe wow are do you do any non non europe wait what was that well that was a bmw taxicab honk they say hong kong yeah europe theme audio excuse me europe theme to these yeah yeah did you spend a lot of time there slut oh my god thank you i feel so included do uh why why do you do any non european sound effects or uh what is made though no i don't they're mostly european that sounds like a european and most of

them are i'm recording all the cracks i'm recording all the cracks i got a huge sound file wait what your diarrhea sounded really american did it yeah oh thank you yeah when you do these diarrhea is mostly american diarrhea is america when i think of it it's like jazz is an american art form and diarrhea yeah i'm in american art form yeah when it when you're putting out these crack videos you're just laying all of your tiny silent cracks on top of each other and turning up the volume is that right may i mean sometimes sometimes this is all just in post production but the cracks are real the people in the home need to hear them and that's the issue but the cracks are real the sound i don't know it's when you're on tiktok it's the crack that is addictive

you want to hear more cracks yeah i know but these are fake cracks oh my god i'm standing next to a bucket of 50 pounds of diarrhea and you're telling me how do i look you look well you're wasting away you need to eat man i i it's true i've mainly diarrhea humans are 80 water and you're 50 percent diarrhea i don't know this is awesome yeah so i'm 130 percent whoa at this point yeah over achiever yeah that's right that's right you need another crack to bring you back down to earth okay can you give me one last crack before we go to go to a break we're running out of time on this segment yes this one's called a hair crack hair crack yes i just pull your hair as hard as i can and it's gonna pull your scalp away from your skull just a little bit and it's gonna give you a

a blood rush okay all right whatever you need to do here we go ready yes all right then oh my god you should feel a lot like and the diarrhea is going back into his body oh no just like a poopish i'm so sorry oh wait let me hold the mic up to that sound oh yeah wow yeah that's why did it pop going in it resealed often we get a reseal yeah that's what happens i'm sorry all right well dr crack we're gonna have to take a break if that's okay dan how are you feeling because normally if you're gonna do three this is the time to unless you want to do two in a row at the end or you can just do two what how do we feel let's do it let's do it let's do it let's do a song all right we're gonna

do another song this is a dan mangan uh acoustic version of a song on the new album or this is a song called all roads all roads what do you got this is about i mean all roads lead to you know roam and the line in the song is uh are we a toddler in a marathon where all roads lead to sweet oblivion okay so someone opened a thesaurus one day all right well i'm gonna this is exciting i'm gonna listen for that um this is dan mangan this is from the new record being somewhere all right here we go hit it okay in a million billion years

as we return to where we came um well the memories remain like the stillness of a frozen dawn or the beat after the moment's gone the thing i thought there was in the way well it was the way the thing i thought there was in the way well it was the way as for what maybe there was to say

i don't know what to say are we stillness of that frozen dawn are we the beat after the moment's gone are we a toddler in a marathon where all roads lead to sweet oblivion the thing i thought there was in the way well it was the way the thing i thought there was in the way well it was the way as for what maybe there was to say here we are howling at the moon

here we are pissing in the wind feeling like a brick in brooklyn the thing i thought there was in the way well it was the way the thing i thought there was in the way well it was the way as for what maybe there was to say i don't know what to say the thing i thought there was in the way well it was the way the leaves are falling and i'm on my knees because leaves fall from trees the leaves are in the trees until they've fallen and they're on the ground and i'm on my knees and

the leaves and the leaves and the leaves and the leaves and the bubbles wow all right damn mangan we're gonna take a break we'll be right back with more damn mangan more cabin fever more dr crack we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we're back dan mangan the new record is being somewhere and we just heard all roads lead to sweet oblivion and i would love it if uh because we all applauded when that wonderful lyric came up i would love it if that became a staple of your live shows now or your audience applauded after that line i'm big on the mid song applause yes it kind of keeps you going huh yeah it's like a little don't quit it's kind of like a courtesy flush it's like halfway

through you know so if you're a comedy bang bang fan you go see dan in one of his upcoming shows applaud after that lyric and he'll give you a little a little wink and a tip of the hat it'll it'll be like uh if you know you know yes it's an i y k y k all right um we also have cabin fever is here uh yeah hey yeah hey that's me it is you yeah you are here definitely slot i have something i have to confess what's going on kevin well wait tell me who else you have well dr crack is here hey is that your catchphrase i don't really have one i'm just a just a doctor oh yeah okay it's just you came in so strong with it well i'm excited to be here okay so this that's just your natural excitement hey hey all right you have a confession yeah i should tell you

um i'm all ears you are sure okay i can work on that okay do you have a diario dse's i have a confession and dan already knows are you ready it's going to change what you think about me forever i'm scared how it's going to change our relationship well i probably so brave you can do anything that's so inspiring see this is why your tiktok is so great you know dr crack will look right in the camera and say stuff like that it really keeps us all going out there in the world never give up especially if you want to that's one of my big ones if you don't want to it's kind of easy not to yeah yeah that's a great message thank you all right well always try good because then you'll get the good results sometimes sometimes usually those are

like flips of things like always try good and that way it's a good try right you know but you're okay good no yeah all right and never mind i don't want to share come on tell me no no no don't make me beg you oh please beg oh please beg dr crack and then he'll ask me okay dr crack would you please please i want to hear i don't be so cool you are the only one who can get through to heaven for please i really need to dr crack please tell me or tell tell him to tell me okay cabin yeah i think he really deserves to hear it okay i'll whisper to you and then you tell him because i don't want to i can't really bear to watch his face as i say it totally i'm 39 i heard that that wasn't a whisper i heard that you're 39 years old she said she's he's 39

she she said he's 39 i'm sorry but there's nothing about you that never mind his male who my beautiful black eyes just like a man am i green skin wait you're 39 yeah i've been lying to disney no i know but i look so young don't i i don't have an opinion on that uh dan's the guy who wants to comment on that it's really the 65 that kind of ruined everything for me you definitely look different for most adults and i'll say that so that but the green skin was part of yeah yeah yeah well anyway are you an alien you have black eyes and okay i have another confession let me guess i'm 39 on planet uranus that's so far away i'm 16 on earth gravity no gravity no gravity makes it different if you're 39 i'm from uranus if you're 39 rotations of uranus that

that means that you're way older than 39 oh really you know so much about astronomy scott if you really want to get rid of this diarrhea permanently we need to do 39 rotations of uranus i don't know i i'll rotate uranus right now i have maybe three in me i don't know yeah all right well let's do one a week for i don't know 13 weeks almost a year and how much money is it not a year how much money is it it'll be free for scott oh yeah i'll do anything for free well let's rotate but he has to post on instagram right yes you will be on instagram it's the biggest chinese tiktok that's fine or chiropractor i'm good with that when you say rotate is it like rotating tires where it's like you take my mouth and it's now my anus vice versa exactly okay well you already have stinky

breath that's because it's his butt hole exactly so who's gonna know the difference this is a good point all right well guys uh we have an exciting feature we play at every single week on the show it's time for a little something called would you rather um Mr. Mangan, that song sounded different than your others. That was uh that was not Dan playing that song. But he was marching around. He was marching around like a good little boy. But uh that was the official Would You Rather theme and thank you so much for your revenance for the theme and for being quiet during it. It's time to play this. We

played it every week. We all know how this is played. I'll read Would You Rather scenarios sent to us by our wonderful people on Twitter at CBBWR. Uh I will then open the floor for questions. We you're free to ask me anything about either of the scenarios you like in order to help narrow down your choice. Uh at a certain point I'll close the floor for questions. There will be no questions after that. I'm sorry we have to stick to that. Uh and then uh we will go around the horn. We'll vote and I'll tally up the points and we'll see who won. All right here we go. Can I ask one question? Yes. Did anyone notice how long that song was? Okay. That was long. See the floor was not open for questions. It's a lot longer than my songs

which are all 23 songs. I was lost in the march. Look I can say yes. You know the rules. My wrong. I'm afraid my wrong. My wrong. You best. Yes. All right I'm gonna have to dock you three points for that. I'm so sorry Dr. Crack. Uh coming in at uh. I'm gonna have to dox you. I have to dox you. You unfortunately you live on 4 3 1 6. Oh. Don't tell him. Sick central. Don't tell him. Sick central Pasadena. Wow. California. You nailed it. Yeah. I work in Orange County but I live in Pasadena. It's a nightmare. Sorry I have to dox you. You gotta need your backpack to do every day at work. Do you have a beautiful wife? Of course. She cracks it every night. Oh. We do that instead of sex. Oh good. Dr. Crack. All right this comes to us from avocado

skeptic uh aka kit. Uh kid asks uh you're racing in your school's track and field day. All right that's this is before the would you rather scenario. So in both scenarios you're racing in your school's track and field day. Would you rather be chasing a hostess cupcake that you only get to eat if your estranged father shows up and finally says he's proud of you or be chased by your father's assistant Todd who gets more attention than you. Wait what? You're racing in your school's track and field day. Say it again. That question was as long as the song. In one scenario you're chasing the race consists of you chasing a hostess cupcake but you only get to eat it if your father comes to the actual race and finally says he's proud of you. Okay. Or would you rather be chased

by your father's assistant Todd who gets more attention than you do from your father. All right I'm opening the floor for questions. Do I still get a cupcake if I choose the second one? Because what? No unfortunately the cupcake is only in one scenario. So it's just to get away from Todd. Yeah you get a twinkie in the in the second scenario. Is the cupcake fresh? The cupcake is day old. And been opened? And it's been opened yeah so the air has gotten into it. Is your estranged father showing up based on the merit you show in the track and field or is it just like? Yeah he's he gets radioed. He's there in the parking lot and he has a walkie-talkie and if you place either you win place or show if you if you get second or or above he'll come in. So you catching

the cupcake is not that that doesn't determine? No no yeah if you catch the cupcake you still have to get second or better in order for your father. What's Todd wearing? Oh great question. This is how we play the game. I'm giving you three more points. Thank you. So everyone is at zero again. This is see this is how you play the game. Todd is wearing uh he's wearing you ever see that guy Steve Bannon how he wears like eight shirts? I love Steve Bannon yeah. Yeah so all you do. Well he's just attractive he seems nice. I love how his face is boiling. So he's he's not doing that he's just wearing one shirt. Oh and he's wearing shorts over pants. Okay. Yeah no shoes. That's a look. No shoes he won't catch me. Painted toes. Painted what? Toe nails. Toe nails. Yeah

his toes are painted too but that's just regular paint that's not nail polish. It is the moon of Uranus shining on me during the race. I don't know what you mean by that. I'm not racing in the race is that what you're asking? We're not racing at the same time these are just separate races but good question. Hmm okay do I get a point? Because you begged for it I'll give you one point. Oh I want a point. Okay you get a point as well. And is it only the twinkie you get that that's the only prize if you outrace Todd? Uh that is the only I mean other than $50,000 some of that yeah whoever whoever wins the rate and an Olympic gold medal this is in the Olympics I should have mentioned that. The Olympics? The Olympic school track and meet. Yes the

yeah yeah the the college over there on Olympic. Is the crowd going to cheer for me? The crowd has been instructed to stay deadly deadly silent and there are snipers in the clock towers ready to shoot anyone who makes any sort of noise. Oh no. In both scenarios. So let me just get this right. In one scenario you get the love of your father and a cupcake in the other scenario you get a twinkie in $50,000. Yeah. If you succeed. If you succeed yeah. If I get the cupcake will my dad love me or do I have to do something else? If you get the cupcake he's not going to love you necessarily he's going to say he's proud of you which I think love and pride are kind of different you know what I mean I don't know that you're ever going to get

to love with this guy he's very withholding. My dad I never knew. That's right. So in this scenario do I love my dad and do I know him? Well this is you so do you love your dad? Do you want this from your dad? Do you want the chance of seeing your dad coming in if you get second place or above? What is a cupcake? Whoa okay. You know I'm so jealous of all this attention Todd is getting. Yeah. Why is Todd getting so much attention? Yeah. Why is my dad in love with Todd? He's not no he's he pays more attention to him. Are we all brothers in this scenario? You are brothers yes. With my dad? Yeah. And Todd? Everyone is everyone is related everyone is a sibling. The audience is all my brothers. Is the cupcake my nephew? Yes. Yes. Shoot that is hard. That is hard

because you don't want to eat him. Is it somebody dressed up as a cupcake or is this an anthropomorphic cupcake? This is anthropomorphic but not animated. This is real. They have the technology for it. It's real. Yeah. I'm closing the floor for questions. Oh no but I wanted to have that. So sorry. All right we're gonna have to vote. At this point we have it's not even a tie game. At this point Dr. Crack has won. Cabin Fever has won and Dan has zero because he wouldn't beg for a point. So but now we're all going to vote. Dr. Crack how are you going to vote here? I'm going to take my chances with Todd. With Todd chasing you? Todd I think I can beat Todd. And you want the 50 grand? Even though there's no real reward. You get the 50 grand if you win.

All right I'll do it. Okay great. Dan Mangan what do you what do you choose? Did you choose the possible pride from your father or $50,000 in a Twinkie? I'm liking the cupcake. I'm going for the pride and the dad. You're going for the oh really? What's your relationship like with your father? It's pretty good. He just like a Canadian. But he did trade me for a cupcake at one point. Whoa so this is a hitting home for you. That must have been triggering to hear this story. I can't believe you don't have a song about that. I know it's too painful. Cupcake father? Wait is this the unreleased one that we're going to hear a little later? This is the unreleased song. It's very painful. Okay well great. I'm going to make you sing it. And I can only sing it in the

pretext of a bang bang. Okay great. Well I'm not giving you a point for that. I know you're really begging for it. All right Cabin Fever how are you going to vote? Right now we have two people who voted for the cupcake. I'm only 16 so I can't vote yet. That's true. Okay. But I'm 39 where I'm from so but on my planet we don't vote we just know. Okay so are you going to make a choice or not? My choice above all is always in the best interest of my heart and my choice is the cupcake sweetie. The cupcake sweetie. All right somehow I'm not a sled anymore I'm a sweetie so. All right let me tell you. It felt so demeaning to harm you verbally in that way so I wanted you to feel better. Let me tell you of the points here let's see. Okay.

Dr. Crack. Are you sure you don't know who Michael Jackson is? Where is he from? Dr. Crack voted for cupcakes so he gets one point that's a total of two. Dan voted for the cupcake that's one point that's a total of one and Cabin voted illegally because um he's not 18 yet so I'm gonna have to dock a point so that's a total of zero so right Dr. Crack you're our winner with two points. I knew it. I knew I could do it. I'm amazing and this is how we play would you rather? All right good game. Of course we play it every week why wouldn't it be a good game? That's uh how we play amazing. Dr. Crack you came from behind as I'm sure you've heard that joke before

with your name Dr. Crack but uh but you really pulled that out as I'm sure you've heard that before with your name Dr. Crack. Yeah all the innuendos. Yeah yeah you got them all yeah cover the bases. Well you know you have sex in the office sometimes. Oh okay all right well um guys we're running out of time we uh just have time for one final feature on the show and that's a little something called plugs. Well Scott's pretty cool and the guests are all right that's a small business owners with a lack of foresight but my favorite segment yeah the one I adore the one I'd crawl back to cross any floor it's plugs yeah it's plugs you all know it's plugs it's plugs I adore it's plugs I live for

Oh beautiful that sounds like something you would write Dan. I wish oh man that was really good that was Down on the Plugging 4 by Wobzy. Down on the Plugging 4 by Wobzy uh thank you so much to Wobzy and uh what are we plugging? Dan obviously being somewhere is out there on all the services and uh you can buy it and do you have uh tour dates that you're doing by uh this comes out Monday so do you have any more? Uh the if you could go back in time and come to my show in LA last week that'd be great. Gotta be on the show earlier. Yeah uh uh just for the friggin love of God just listen to my friggin record. Yeah do it. How many people have listened to it at this point would you say? At least a couple dozen I don't know. Yeah. I mean we're gonna need to get more ears on

that. We need to get more ears on that. Yeah diary ears. Yeah just go to Spotify. Get your DSES on this album. Get your DSES. Get your DSS on it while you're at it. Yeah why not. Uh that's that's the only thing I got right now it's the only thing. All right and you're gonna be singing an unreleased song at the end uh and uh Captain Fevver what are you plugging? I'd love to plug my my new store Sloppy Firsts it's already opened up a shop. What? Yeah in Santa Monica on the pier. Oh my on the pier itself or by the Ferris wheel? Yes it's so sloppy and weighed down by all the juices. Okay and do you have any any specials coming up? Yeah we have a big special coming up Pig Slop and coming up on top of that is some barbecue sauce in a jar. Okay all right so the

Pig Slop is not in a jar. No it's in a fat and you have to go in and get it with your maul. Okay great all right this sounds good. Uh Dr. Crack what are you plugging? Well I got a new line of chiropractory tables. Oh if anybody wants to crack at home obviously I don't recommend it but you can buy one of these tables. You don't recommend it but you're still selling the tables. I don't recommend you do it but I do recommend you buy the table. Okay the tables are like I mean they cost a thousand dollars I'm trying to get rid of these things. Oh did you buy too many tables is that what's they no that's what I'm selling them for they each retail for $900. No but why do you have so many tables is my question. Because I'm selling these things I gotta get rid of these things. I got

tables to move and you can buy them after they sell them. It's not a real science anybody can crack it back you just stand up. You don't have to yell at me. I'll leave one for you. Okay don't whisper yell at me next time. All right okay I want to plug hey head over to CBBworld.com we have some great stuff over there we what do we have we just put out oh there's a Walton on Walton with Bill that's Bill Walton has a some sort of podcast on the NBA app and he's doing an aftershow podcast for CBBworld so you can get that you can get who me with the Batman you can get the entrepeneurs entrepreneur tour hey Randy this book changed my life so much more over there as well as ad-free episodes of this and the archives look I'm not suggesting you listen to them but they

are there at CBBworld.com so go back I mean maybe go back like four years that's that's about as far as you should go back but also the comedy bang bang book is coming out in April so you can pre-order it there that's at CBBworld.com or if you want the book it's at CBBworld.com slash book all right here we go let's close up the old plug bag yeah that's uh interesting uh that was plug bag remix by dev thank you to dev if you have a remix go to comedybangbangworld.com slash plugs and you can submit catch phrases as well as do our remixes for us and that was a really good one thank you dev guys I want to thank you so much Dr. Crack pleasure to be here pleasure I said Dr. Crack and I had no idea what I should say

if I clearly you're not thankful I mean I don't know if you bounce a diarrhea out of your body but then it got sucked back in you're welcome okay if I step on Dr. Crack's back will I break my mother's back unfortunately yes oh no is that that's true happens all the time I tell people go ahead take a step and so if you step on I've heard that about stepping on a crack like a crack in the sidewalk if you step on anything called crack you crack the drug yeah it breaks your mother's back yeah that's why drug dealers are so sad oh no yep they're stepping on their crack all their mothers have their backs broken all of them all the drug dealers are so sad every you've never met a happy drug dealer that's what I think um and of course uh cabin fever yeah it's been so

amazing I think I'll be seeing a lot more of you think did you enjoy your time here I loved it it was very delightful was it and I was so interesting when my voice got deep and I learned what that would have felt like if I'd grown that way but I haven't any lessons you can learn here from being on the show I mean you're a 16 16 year old boy here on earth 39 you left out some Uranus you left out some descriptors uh sorry young attractive actor with an announcement yeah and I yeah I've learned a lot I learned about how it's important to be your own boss from all three of you and I'm going to start my own business it's thriving it's going great the one problem with being your own boss is you can't have like an undercover boss situation

and that looks so fun that's true but I could put on a wig and dance around myself that's true it's a good point well speaking of dancing around uh Dan are you uh thank you first of all for being on the show uh great to have you are you ready to uh play a song that's gonna make us dance around uh I'm gonna you know this is a song that uh hurts a lot for me to play right I'm ready to unveil it this is the song we were talking about before this is the song that uh I've been saving for this moment okay this is Dan Mangan on CBB cupcake daddy sold me for a cupcake now I'm sad all the time for heaven's sake oh daddy sold me for a cupcake what do you think I got to be honest it's a loser yeah I'd rather hear like something you actually prepared yeah

yeah I think like the melody was disgusting I can't stop crying lyrics gorgeous melody is a total zero melody needs a little work it never works I don't know I love I can't stop crying okay meet me out by the fire escape it's been 40 nights 40 days I've become uncertain in a cosmic way I chewed my fingers to the bone today oh won't you come around meet me by the fire escape untie this tight tongue tie was it that I want to say was it that I really want to say but other words I've been choking on open someone a lot take you late oh no that's some murky water all right we're in the trenches now I don't know when the party is over all I know is I'm getting out somehow oh what a fever dream meet me out by the fire escape we'll join the procession

down the alleyway oh freedoms are joking we've got debts to pay how many waves until the levy breaks oh won't you come around meet me by the fire escape untie these tight tongue ties was it that I want to say was it that we really want to say but other truths we've been choking on open someone a lot take you late oh no that's some murky water all right we're in the trenches now I don't know how the story ends because the pages just turn over and then turn over again and redemption's always out of sight and just around the bend and the outcome doesn't match with what it is that I intend like a stack of books to grows and gathers dust beside the bed or the disconnect between what people do and what they've said and I want to read the news maybe without

losing my head oh what a fever dream so meet me out by the fire escape it's been 40 nights and 40 days now I become uncertain in a cosmic way I chewed my fingers to the bone today hobos bravo that was Fevordream see you next time next bye