Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Felicia Day, Betsy Sodaro, Mano Agapion, Devin Field

Episode Date: October 30, 2023

Actor/writer Felicia Day joins Scott to talk about her new fantasy comedy Audible original Third Eye, Comic-Con parties, and brand deals. Then, twin actors Selma and Blair stop by to talk about spooky... pranks they have pulled. Plus, director David Lynch drops by to pitch some new movie ideas.

Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Goblins are green, ghosts are white, I'll pull down my pants and give you a fright. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Huh, thank you to Rock and Roll Toast for that catchphrase submission. I, you know, it's a little too Halloween specific for me to keep saying it every week. So unfortunately, Rock and Roll Toast, that's not going to stick. We'll be still on the lookout for another catchphrase. But thank you so much for that's not going to stick. We'll be still on the lookout for another catchphrase. But thank you so much for that submission. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Yes, if you listen to that catchphrase and I sincerely hope you did, you know that it is Halloween time here at Comedy Bang Bang. We have a great show for you coming up a little later. We have siblings are going to be on the show to people who are related to each other apparently by their parents, by way of their parents. We also have a director, a film director, so that's very exciting. My name is Scott Ockerman and let's get to our first guest. She is, you know her work in such things as the guild and puffy the vampire slayer and the I want to say this title. I was gonna take a stab at it now. I'm regretting it the horrible sing-along of doctor someone You know
Starting point is 00:01:39 Wow a good host would have that in front of him, but okay, you're one man shop. It's okay I'm here. I'm recording this thing that takes up a good host would have that in front of it. Okay, you're one man shop. It's okay. I'm here. Exactly. I'm recording this thing. That takes up 90% of this. You're doing everything. Also, you have a seat warmer on your toilet. Yes, I do.
Starting point is 00:01:53 When I relieved myself earlier before we started, I did not poop, by the way. I was number one only. I only reserved my poop set home. But you only do it at home, even when you travel. I mean, unless I'm forced to. I fly home and no, it was really just very soothing to have my posterior warmed while I have actually.
Starting point is 00:02:11 You should get one. I have one. You do have one. Yeah, but what's surprising is that we're see warmer buddies. I was about to say we have the same toto. I the only time I've ever seen a bidet that warms in a context that was not my own home was a sushi place. And then I screamed because you don't expect it. You don't be like, you don't go into a sushi place,
Starting point is 00:02:30 expecting a seat warmer. No, no. In fact, it seems unsanitary to warm a sushi. You don't want that. You don't want your, and also what are they trying to say about their food that you would need one? Listen, they comfort from head to toe. Wow. So anyway, I just feel like you can mangle all my credits. Do you want to say what this thing is? I'm trying to say Dr. Horrible Sing Along blog. That was an internet. It doesn't even make any sense. Why do I need to memorize it? You don't need to do anything. Just read. You're a pretty face. Just read like a a book. Thank you. I appreciate it. Before the show, you already slammed the shape of my teeth. Listen, no, no, I was talking about him,
Starting point is 00:03:05 I'm vis-a-line and I said I refused to take them out for this stupid podcast. That's even worse, slimy the podcast. Oh my God. Oh, sorry, your work is exemplary. No, I'm on my last three trades. I gotta get them shifted, man. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Keep them in while we do this podcast, please. I beg of you. But she is, of course, the Dr. Horrible, the titular Dr. Horrible, I'm assuming. It's not really my iconic role, but thank you. It's great. I'm what is your iconic role? Because I mean, a lot of people know me for supernatural. I should probably have been supernatural. Yeah. That's the show with the brothers who were, their handsome brothers, yeah, whose parents were killed by goblins.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Uh, I don't believe it's a go, it was a goblins murder, but it was 10 gentle old demon. You know, they're all in the super demons. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that first episode. I was like, those are goblins. That was 20, five years ago. I turned it off and said, I will not watch this again.
Starting point is 00:03:55 And so I missed it. Were you on the first episode? I was not. I was in the last eight seasons on the last eights and out of how many seasons? 55. Yeah, I expect. I expect you to say on and off because if you were in every single scene that would be a terrible strain on too much work. Exactly. These number ones in the call sheet? No, forget it. I want to be
Starting point is 00:04:14 number seven. I want to be the corner who comes in and sew somebody up once a week. Give me that residual check. You are a corner really. No, I just might dream, oh, that's oh really. Would it be, and I'll introduce you in a second, would it be amazing to be on in like an NCIS show where you just like the person who like goes Oh, yeah, this person was stabbed through the heart. Oh, yeah, but I wanted to be a vampire They were stabbed through their second heart because I know it I have to have two hearts. That's my new theory To prove me wrong I would think that in the evolution of vampires They would grow a second one because everyone
Starting point is 00:04:46 knows you stab a vampire through the heart with the steak. Exactly. They have a fake, right? Yeah. Like a dummy or a... A dummy heart? Yeah, exactly. I like this idea.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Yeah, no, I want to be a corner. We're going 50-50 on this. I need you to do all the work, though. I need you to do the work, so maybe we'll just have your toilet lid do it, and we'll just call it a day. You know her from Supernatural, the last eight seasons often on certainly She is I do a lot of internet content. Do you even have a bio there? I looked at it before you came in. I can do it off the cuff
Starting point is 00:05:17 Okay, let's let's hear the guild right that was internet stuff. Although I read the comic book though I did wait what I did I even pressed with you I never saw the show but I read the comic book though about that. You did? I did, yeah. Wait, what? I did. I even pressed with you. I never saw the show, but I read the comic. Thank you. I wrote that. I dial up until last year. Oh, no. You're poor thing.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Your poor must be so low quality. And we need to welcome, by the way, her new project is called Third Eye. We'll talk about that in a second. But we want to welcome her to the coveted Two Timers Club here on Comedy Bang Bang. Please welcome Felicia Day. Hello.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Thank you. Hi Felicia. I'm really happy to be here. I'm going to forget everything we did before now. I don't remember what we, oh, okay, everything on this episode, because I remember the previous episode, really. I was with the lovely Gianna Barney
Starting point is 00:05:58 who's actually in my new project. So she is. I was really bummed she couldn't be here. Oh, really? Was she gonna show up? No. Nobody asked her, and I didn't. she couldn't be here. Oh really was she gonna show up? No, nobody asked her I didn't I didn't ask her I would have been a surprise me although I love seeing her
Starting point is 00:06:10 I just wanted her to spontaneously be here in a coincidence It was just massive wouldn't it be nice let's put that in the way we hooked us up through intermediaries and maybe you know The messages didn't get to Follow me on Twitter, but we don't go to Twitter anymore. I'm not on Twitter any longer. Wow you just quit I just I up and quit good for you. Yeah, exactly. I don't go to Twitter anymore. I'm not on Twitter any longer. Wow, you just quit. I just, I up and quit. Good for you. Yeah, exactly. I don't know why I'm still there.
Starting point is 00:06:28 It's, you know, like every boyfriend I have, I can't, can't quit. Well, your pot committed at this point, you put so much time into it, and that's where you made a name for yourself. I mean, you didn't make a name for yourself. Too many followers, yeah. You just can't leave on the curb.
Starting point is 00:06:40 I know, exactly. Follow me on blue sky, which four people can get in. No, it's not effective. But anyway. Welcome to the Two Timers Club. You must be so thrilled. I mean, I am not a lot of people are in the two timers club. I mean, Gary Goldman is not in the two timers club. Donald Glover, childish, Gambino. He's only in the one timers club. Ben Stiller, not in the two timers club. No, these are all people who never came back. The second time, Paul Rudd. Not in the two-timers club.
Starting point is 00:07:07 So you're really making it feel like I'm just a desperate husband to even be here again. Thank you so much. But it's wonderful to have you a big fan of all of your work, including Supernatural and Dr. Horrible's blog that he's saying along to. It's great to see you. And I'm really excited about this new project.
Starting point is 00:07:27 It's called Third Eye. It is called Third Eye. And this is something you wrote. You're a wonderful writer. And this is a- This is a failed television pilot that I was waiting for. Oh, is it?
Starting point is 00:07:38 God, damn it, they will make this if I die trying. I have so many failed television pilots and movies I should turn them into something, right? You should, if you love them. If not, if they're just like crap, you just tossed out the sea of the the the chum would, you know, get some piranhas and then don't do those. But yeah, this one stuck with me. I pitched it back in 2016 and I was so stupid back then. Um, I made a neon sign for the show before it was sold because I was an idiot. What for whom for the for myself? Just for your, like a room.
Starting point is 00:08:05 And you're like in the bar downstairs. Yes, yes, it's so sad. And then when it didn't sell, I was so devastated. Clearly, I'm not meant for this business. But then I know it's so bad. It's a really cool side. And now it's pertinent again. So then I audible approach me in right before COVID.
Starting point is 00:08:20 And I was like, do you want to do a project? And I was like, hi, I have this thing I can't go of. And they have the sign and was it contingent upon you owning the sign? Yeah, I was like, you have to pick this idea because I have the sign, which they didn't even use in their graphic design. I don't know, for the strange.
Starting point is 00:08:35 It could be better, but it's on sunset. I mean, the sign costs like what? Probably several hundred dollars. Yeah, I would imagine 750. You know, Neon is a, it's a very rare gas. Did you know that? It is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:48 What number gas is it? Do we know? I should know that. You really should, if you're going to own neon signs. Got it. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. What about you?
Starting point is 00:08:56 Imagine if it breaks and suddenly that neon escapes. Oh my God. How many atoms? How many electrons? How many, whatever the, oh God, I'm losing my nerd credit. Positrons? Positrons. No, that is not what I mean. That's not a thing.
Starting point is 00:09:05 I know. It sounds real though, doesn't it? We have to agree on that. I actually think positron is a thing, but it's not the thing that we're thinking about. Okay, but it is a thing. Oh my god, I'm getting a scientific. Oh, our geek cards are being shredded as a way of spring.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Uh, no, I read the guild, the comic book, so mine is still intact. I can't believe it. Somebody give it to you for free. No, I bought it. It's in there. I can't believe that. That room over there. That. No, I bought it. It's in there. I can't believe that. That room over there.
Starting point is 00:09:27 That is a sex collection, though. Under G, by the way, sexy collection. Yeah, it's a full room full of stuff. I wanted to poke in there, but I was like, I don't know him well enough. I will be in your underbroker after this because we're friends. You know me well enough for that. I believe it's filed right after Guardians of the Galaxy. Ooh, good company.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Yeah. Yeah, no. So anyway, it's about a field chosen one who... What is it? First of all, what is it? Okay So anyway, third on it, it's about a field chosen one who, first of all, what is it? Okay. Before we get into it, it's about, it's a piece of content. It is seven hours of majestic TV for your ears. Wow.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Okay, it was made with Audible. So they're known for audiobooks and audio things. And I was like, I'm gonna make this TV show. I guess we'll do it in audio. And then- And the great thing is, is you don't have to actually film it, so no one has to wear makeup. Although I would imagine some people wore makeup with this.
Starting point is 00:10:08 No, a couple of people came in when they were recording, but they're just trying to show me how if you're gonna go record something, why not come camera ready? In case there's BTS stuff. I don't know how much voiceover you do, but- I've done my share, okay.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Which means approximately two cartoons. Oh, that's just friends hiring you. Okay, that's just my share. Yeah, but the three doyens of the voice of a world, gray, Tara Strong, a cute, my old college friend, Graydell.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Yes, they're, we worked at Shenzhen together. What? Yes, back in the 90s. Are you kidding? You were slinging some noodles with gray? Of course, yeah. She is, they show up to callbacks
Starting point is 00:10:42 and they look like Chanel head to toe. Does she really? Oh, yeah, she's gorgeous. So is Tara Strong. So is, they show up to callbacks and they look like Chanel head to toe. They really, oh yeah, she's gorgeous. So is Tara strong. So is, I mean, there's, I was talking to them. Yeah, Tom, Katie always shows up in a Chanel. So yes, it's an audio TV show. It's seven hours worth. I thought I was going to have a writer's room, but then COVID hit literally when the contract
Starting point is 00:11:01 was signed. I was like, I'm just I'm right. Just doing yourself 50 pages by myself. It was really interesting. And I am stronger for it. 50 pages divided by seven. We're talking 60 some odd pages per episode. No, no, it's 10 episodes. It's 10 hours 10 episodes. So it's like a CW because I've been on the CW lot. So it's about CW hour length to script. Right. CW. That was a combination of Warner Brothers and Paramount. RIP. So sad, because that was my bread and butter.
Starting point is 00:11:29 I was like, that's my, that's my, right. What's the C stand for in it? Come over here. Come over here. Weirdos. So it's a piece of content that 10 episodes, seven hours long, that I would say, let's see see 7 hours is 422 so it's
Starting point is 00:11:47 about 42 minutes per episode. Look at you, I'm not the math degree and you're you are just slinging numbers around. And you wrote all of these by yourself and I was taking a look at the cast and what's just jumped out of me was Neil Gaiman as the narrator. Yeah. And this is a gentleman who if you don don't know Neil Gaiman, he's a comic book writer, wrote a bunch of, speaking of the Holo Wiencile, wrote a bunch of spooky things. Coraline. Coraline, the Sandman. Great, right?
Starting point is 00:12:14 Yeah. So many, many things. Spooky things and horror is included amongst those. And how did you, I would imagine you guys know each other. So part, if you look at the cast list, all but saved two people are parties at Comic Con. That would be my connection to them. I used to be, I mean, I still am big at Comic Con, but I had a company we used to throw huge parties.
Starting point is 00:12:34 You used to throw the parties. I did my company geek and sundry. I lost a tooth at a party at 3 a.m. at a Comic Con party. No wonder you need that in Visaline. It was. That was a cap, though, because I should have a little bit of snaggle. Don't swallow the cap. I don't know where it went. It probably is still inside me.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Okay. Well, let's not use that as a drop. By the way, let's not isolate that and use that as a drop. So you used to throw these parties at Comic-Con. You used to meet all these people. The only person I ever met at Comic-Con course was the Punisher himself Thomas Jane or we were a famous story of mine where we were outside the Hilton and Bayfront Bayfront okay, and he was in an argument with a gentleman who had just gotten out of prison He said and they they were in each other's face is screaming at each other and then you would look over and they'd be hugging like
Starting point is 00:13:24 Oh, it's all right, man, then they'd be screaming at each other again. And then just suddenly, the, you know, how the train tracks are right by there. Suddenly, a train came by, and Thomas Jane took off and then jumped on the train and just rode away. I don't believe the story,
Starting point is 00:13:38 but it is Comic Con so, okay? That's what happens at Comic Con. Okay, I actually buy it. I mean, I swallowed it too. It's so exciting. So used to throw these types of parties and then people like Neil Gaiman and the rest of the cast would, would people would come to my parties. I would go to their parties.
Starting point is 00:13:54 I would take what's called a disco nap. You seem old enough to understand. Sure. So you go to sleep from like 7.30 to 9. You wake up, you're good until three or four and you just go to every party. Like I never go out of my house Other than a comic-con situation like you can't get me you you have a concert Pass you have a wedding is it after eight pass, you know, I'm not showing you're here at at 10 30 in the morning
Starting point is 00:14:16 By the way, which is the earliest we've ever recorded this show was that my request? That was your request What are you usually record? Like 2pm. Maybe you know when we're all warmed up. You all look and you're not in trouble. Sinapse are firing and we can think of other words other than positron. Or holoble, holoble sing along. Hololble sing along. But yeah, I mean, have you ever been hung over a Comic Con like I have where you've fallen sleep on the lawn out front on a Sunday?
Starting point is 00:14:48 I have definitely fallen asleep different places the day after I lost my tooth I had a panel for supernatural in front of like 7,000 people and I had to smile and you can't see it But here I'll give you the goobie smile She's putting her top lip above her top top above my yeah, and it's easy because I have my own physical line in. Tray 24. So it was very uncomfortable. And yeah, you know, I've woken up some wareplaces. I never, I don't drink a lot, but I did, that's the place where I did drink to excess several times.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Except for the time I went to New Orleans during Mardi Gras and I, I did have two hurricanes, got a megaphone and started screaming, show me your dicks at men. How many dicks did you see that, Trin? Many dicks and you were surprised. I don't know, I was surprised by how many people were completely denuded. It was like a turkey down there. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Very, very just like plain shaven. Do you do, do you just landscape it all off? Cause it just feels strange to me. Not every single bit, I miss a few. It's hard to get under. Yeah, exactly. By the way, Turkey's, we're still in October. It's not time to talk about that.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Oh, I'm so sorry. Okay. But did you throw beads onto them or anything like that? No, just a megaphone. Just a mega. And then some puke later. And do you still go back to Comic Con? It seems like.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Oh, yeah. Do you really? I went this year and it was the best Comic Con in years. Because the strike, there are no Hollywood weirdos walking around there anymore. And everyone's there just for the panels of the people who are actually creating. They were not those SUVs just trying to shove,
Starting point is 00:16:17 you know, the ship, because... The salon order SUVs. Yeah, all the salon order SUVs, trying to shove through the crowd so that, you know, some A-list actress doesn't, you know, ruin her manolos. No, it was really cool. And- Can you go down on the floor because I, and I'm a ex-list celebrity at best, but even I was finding it a little uncomfortable- He was too crowded because everybody was not in hall-h or in the line for hall-
Starting point is 00:16:42 Well also just if people saying like, hey, can I take a picture or just slows you so down. Oh, no, I know how to swim like a fish. You do it. Yeah. I never stop moving. That's what you never stop moving. You I am very, very recognizable, especially in those. I have that kind of celebrity where it's like, I'm super, super recognizable or like in certain spaces. Certain spaces. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:01 And then especially in Hollywood, like, who's that? Who the hell is that? Right? No, I'm very recognizable from Vine and Sunset, you know, where the arc light is, like basically that city block, I can go into restaurants, occasionally people will just give me meals for free and stuff like that. Constantly like recognize just in that area.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Wait, what's your last free meal you got? I wanna know more about this. Veggie grill. You're a nice person. You're giving me a veggie grill, yeah. God, damn it. See, that's my thing. My you got? I want to know more about this. That's true. You're getting nice, but she gave me a veggie grill. God, jam it. See, that's my thing. My demographic is baristas.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Around the world, I have been recognized by baristas. Every country I've ever been to, it's a barista. Not once has someone been like, here's your latte on the house. Not once. Not once. Really, and lattes are like the cheapest thing. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:17:40 It's cheaper than what I got at veggie grill. Fuck you. Did you get the fluffle? They're so good. I don't like you saying fuck you to me. I'm sorry. I got at Magic Real. Fuck you. Did you get the fluff all? They're so good. I don't like you saying fuck you to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:17:49 I just get mad because I love free stuff. Okay, during COVID. So I have a lot of those social media followers. But for some reason, earlier in my career, when I could have made a lot more money at social media, I was like, no, I won't take those brand deals. I'm not going to do that. It's all about my work.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Now that I'm old and I had COVID, I was like, send me some. I'll take a fucking picture with it. And I'll just, I started doing this. It's a thing. I get probably 20 emails a day that are like, can we send you a bottle of booze and a free subscription to this and a t-shirt and all this kind of stuff? And I'm always like, nah, because then I got a post about it. And the one time that I really wanted the thing,
Starting point is 00:18:26 I was like, all right, I'll post about it. And no one cared. It doesn't matter if it's like there. Yeah, it makes me feel like I should just be posted about this shit all the time. I'm telling you it's snowballs, because during COVID, I was bored.
Starting point is 00:18:37 And I was like, whatever box shows up my house, I'll take a picture with this. And literally I look through my photos from like 2000 to 2022. It's just me going, hey, hey, hey, but then people are like, oh, she poses with crap. Let's pay her to pose for some real. Really?
Starting point is 00:18:54 Oh yeah. I got offered to go to some sort of premiere or something they would pay for it. Yes. And my niece who represents people for that for a living was like, oh, let me let me negotiate for you because I was like, well, what do you get for this? Like a 500 bucks or something like that? And she gave a low rate for what it should have been. And we're like, oh, no, no, no, no. Because I think they were trying to lowball me.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Oh, yeah, well, some people know me better. Yeah, but now I'm telling you, it perpetuates itself. And then if you like, you could start this off by just posting a picture of something you like and tagging the brand, and that will start the free ball rolling. And then you get the paid ball. Yeah, I'm getting nods in the room, all right? We know how to play this. Also, I gotta talk to you about this offline.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Listen, get your face in there. Let's fall asleep. Faced. Because sometimes I'll just take a picture of the product. No, face it up. You gotta face it up. And just the dumbest grin. Just do it. No, I don't need any help doing a dumb grin. You're beautiful teeth. Show me. Beautiful teeth that you slammed right before the episode started. You were the one who were like,
Starting point is 00:19:57 I have these teeth. I don't need them for the wine. Well, screw you. Um, screw me. No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm going to resc rescind your passing to the two timers club of this kind of behavior continues. Oh, we have three. Tell me who else is in third eye because Neil Gaiman obviously is the narrator and we've heard that Janet Varney is in this. Janet Varney's beautiful. Janet Varney. We have a will Wheaton. We'll Wheaton. We have Sean Astin. The next star to next generation worked, I've worked rules for Will and everything I do and he is very good in this. He's in the guild. He's in the guild exactly. He's in tabletop. We had, we created a show together. It was very, quite popular there. Sean Astin plays vampire,
Starting point is 00:20:38 Frank the Dumpy vampire. We have an incredible London Hughes. I don't know, your comedy guy, you know, probably no London. Yeah, I'm just sitting on the show. Oh, she went on to the one-timer club. Yeah. Okay, so she's better than me. Right. We've established that the two-timer club. It's interesting that the more people are on the worse they are in Hollywood, I guess.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Oh, yeah, I'm just asking. Maybe in five years, I'll be desperate enough to come on. I mean, John Ham's been in the 15-timer club. But that's different. That's different. He boned Jennifer Aniston in the morning show. Oh, well. Oh, this morning show or? Yeah, this morning show. The one we taped right before you.
Starting point is 00:21:09 We just set some mics up and give me that recording. No, so, so, uh, let him use hilarious and scroll line, Lily Peachu, big influencer online, but also voiceover extraordinaire. And then we have tons of cameos that I call favors in. We have Harvey Gianne. we have Christian Nairne. Weird Al does a sprite that gets his hand burned off. You know, like I have a, I just called in all the party friends, okay? And they have a-
Starting point is 00:21:34 You can heat up sprite enough. You can burn your hand in that. Oh, you know what? I've never done that. Does it stop bubbling? No, it never does. Can you turn to a surf and just put it in other things? I wonder if you heat up sprite enough. Will it turn in, will it like crystallize? That's what I'm saying, or it can turn in like a syrup.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Do you want to pause this show and just experiment? Let's try it. Come on, let's build neither shit. I love the Bill Nye is an hour verb. I hear you. Yes, you should be. I've never seen him. I saw him at the White House.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Is he a one-timer? He would do the show. What did you do the show really? I believe would. If he shows up at the White House, he'll show up here. I'll do this. Is that weird? You're at the White House. You're all excited.
Starting point is 00:22:09 You turn to the left. There's Bill Nye. You're like, what's going on? Just tell him about the bidet. He'll be here tomorrow. Really. So what is the premise of it? You mentioned vampires. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:19 This is our Halloween show. It's sort of appropriate. It is appropriate for that. Is it spooky in nature. What exactly? It's a fantasy comedy which Hollywood takes a poop when you talk to them about fantasy and comedy together. Not cool But it's about a failed chosen one who 15 years later has a girl come in and blow her life up and kind of rethink her past president future And so I play Laurel pedigrew the it's basically a Harry Potter failed. I guess, Voldemort, what would the world be like? And how much would people hate her?
Starting point is 00:22:48 Well, a lot. People would think she's the worst in the world. And yeah, she, it's just, and it's a fantasy comedy, so it's lots of jokes, but also I created it because I wanted to, I was in a really low place in my life. I left my company and I was a prodigy. When I was a kid, I was a violinist and then I was kind of a prodigy on the internet and I always felt like a failure afterwards
Starting point is 00:23:10 because once you do something cool, nothing is that cool afterwards. Yeah, I always feel bad for people who make it really big early on because then life is just kind of downhill and you have to adjust your whole way of thinking about this. Exactly, and that's- Some people are unable to do it.
Starting point is 00:23:24 It's like you're- you're, I didn't. I just, that's why I wrote this thing. This is where I'm channeling my angst. My therapist says it's really good for me. So I, yeah, I wrote this and, and, you know, the journey is, it's long. It's seven hours. So essentially, I wrote the whole season of television. I never would have voluntarily done that, but it was really cool to, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:43 just have to buckle down and write the whole thing. And I think it's really funny and hopefully people check it out. How did people get it? Seven hours, it's the amount of two Godfather Part 2s. You can watch that twice or you could listen to this. Do you use that? The analogy every does three and a half hours. Great.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Wonderful. Yes. Got five part one, so only three. You could get it slash third eye. slash third eye. And from what I could tell when I was poking around in this you can get You can probably get it free for a little bit just to test it out most people have a free credit You know if you're prime member you'd have free credit so go go take my hard earned work and just take it for free
Starting point is 00:24:17 They still pay you for that though. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's audio. Yeah, exactly Well wonderful third eye out there right now audible dot com slash third eye. Yes, that's audio, you know. Yeah, exactly. Well, wonderful. Third eye out there right now, slash third eye. Is that the where you get it? Okay, great. Well, we need to take a break. Felicia, can you stick around? Because I'd love to have you interco-interview with me, sort of, the siblings and the film director. They sound creepy, but I'll be here.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Okay. Just the word sibling sounds creepy. Yeah. I don't like siblings together. Do you have a sibling? I have a sibling, which is close to the word, a sibling. You need to take your retainer out. No, not for you.
Starting point is 00:24:48 All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll have more with Felicia Day. We'll have more with the siblings. And the film director will be right back with more spooky comedy bang bang right after this. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da I'm not gonna get it. Come on, baby. We're back for Lisa Day here with the third eye is her project right now. About seven hours or so. Or is it seven on the dot or it's about seven, you know, I mean, it's long enough. You'll get your money.
Starting point is 00:25:15 Sounds under seven to me. Okay, it's six minutes and like 52 seconds. Why would you even say? Six minutes and 52 seconds. That is really far off from seven hours. Jesus Christ. You're not in the stand, by the way. You are under oath. We require all of our guests to be under oath on the show.
Starting point is 00:25:31 So you can be criminally prosecuted. So sorry. You want to get to our next guest? Because I'm very interested in them. They're siblings. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Selma and Blair. He hello. Hey, hello. No relation. No relation to each other?
Starting point is 00:25:50 To Selma Blair. Oh, okay. I was gonna say because you are sibling, so you are related to each other. We're twins. Twins by choice and twins by blood. So, wait, what came first? The choice or the blood?
Starting point is 00:26:03 I would imagine the blood Yeah The blood The blood that comes first Blood sister what can I have some blood? Oh, yeah, Please don't worry. Don't worry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drink it up. Drink it up, breath out. Drink it up.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Oh, yeah. By your, by your, you're squirting the blood all over Felicia Day. I'm sorry. Sorry. No, no, this was a free t-shirt. Stop it. It's sweet. And she eats lots of sweet.
Starting point is 00:26:40 So it's really sweet. Yeah, if you eat whatever you eat, your blood tastes like it. Oh really? So it's like semen or? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And all my things are. But what I'm told. Oh, what?
Starting point is 00:26:52 Hey, no, it duds me here. Yeah, no, we're here. I appreciate that. That's something I'm blare. No judgment. No judgment. My sister eats lachidonuts, so her blood sweet. Yeah, it's really sweet like donuts.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Creamy like donuts. Yeah, it's really sweet like donuts creamy like donuts You know, I've never seen creamy blood before but yeah, there it is We do You from homie birthday, I know what you're saying. Oh really? To be honest, I don't know what to say. Not the best silence over here. No, we know what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:27:31 We can read mine. We can read mine. There's a union. That's not a mom. That's just a skeleton and a sweater. Oh, no. Oh, wait. You brought your mom with you?
Starting point is 00:27:40 Yeah. Oh, I got the guardian. Oh, no. Mommy drove us. She drove us here. That's been in the corner in the shadows the whole time. Yeah, that's that is a skeleton in his wetter. Yeah, don't be shy, Mom. Come on. Go my mom. Click, click, click. Yeah, she says hi.'s in high. She thinks you're real cute, Scott. Oh, wow. You're so you can secondly come in with your scouts. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Yeah, she's like mom, chill out. She's a little too thirsty here. Click click. Oh, stop, mom. Silver fox. Yeah. Oh, wait, she talked to me a little bit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:21 She's, hey, I'm not just talking about her pelvis when I say she's open. I think I'm really just talking about her pelvis when I say she's open. I prefer to just talk about her pelvis from now on. So Selma and Blair, you seem very creepy, which is, I guess, apropos for the season. You guys are siblings, and how old are you? Do you mind me asking? 45 Yeah, 45 45 45 45 years old. Yeah, but so you're twin
Starting point is 00:28:57 Young okay, so you are twin I am Dibi doesn't know our age so don't tell oh Are you actors are you? Yeah, we got fired from the movie the shining oh, I'm so sorry what parts were you playing? We read your original Our technical city to fall we read We read for those that they're like wait a second. We got some twins We need they're like we're very young girl. Maybe you should read for the young girl part. Yeah, and so we're like, okay, I just broke my door with an axe, but okay, I'll read for a young
Starting point is 00:29:34 girl part. And then we got the twins part, but then we scare everybody on set. Oh, yeah. How did you scare people if you don't mind me asking? I guess maybe it started when I started feeding you my blood. Yes, I've always been a blood eater. And then we would pull prank around the set. We was a bullying prank. I think the blood would do it for me. I think you got to call you right there.
Starting point is 00:29:56 I think blood is probably a turn off. Yeah, but I was a safety violation. What were the pranks that you? Oh, they were so funny. They were funny. It was funny you should bring up Turkey, new Turkey, because we would go around flashing us. What is such a funny.
Starting point is 00:30:09 It's that these are not spooky pranks. You're just flashing your dick around. Yeah. As a child. We are. Excuse me. Do you have a vagina? I mean, this is not a question I normally ask.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Maybe I should just ask every single. Yes, maybe we have one. We should show them. Oh, no, I don't. Oh. Yes, maybe we have one. I have one. We should show them. Oh no, I don't know. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. Oh, this is an age hard one. Oh, this is an age hard one. Oh, this is an age hard one.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one.
Starting point is 00:30:38 I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. I mean, oh, this is an age hard one. We do a lot of cock fights literally. What does that mean because you have vaginas? We fight with our vaginas.
Starting point is 00:30:49 We fight with our vaginas. Sometimes we fight with other penises. It's a long story. We have time. Hey good. There's actually a really fun. There's a really fun way. Where would you call it?
Starting point is 00:31:01 League? League? It's a league. It's a league here in LA. We started a league after we turned 18. We started a league of genital fights. Yeah. Wow. So this is approximately 1996. Yeah. Well, good job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good job. Her co-man was no longer with us, but the twin towers were. It was that sweet spot in between. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:26 We were so sad when the twin towers went down. We were, could be like, there were more twins. No. I felt like we hurt anytime twins go down, we feel it. What are some other twins that have gone down? Oh, tweedle D and tweedle down. They're no longer with us. They're not.
Starting point is 00:31:42 They're not. They probably had some heart problems maybe. Absolutely. Yeah, they. They're not. They know. They probably they had to make some heart problems maybe. Absolutely. Yeah, based on their build. Yeah, they were, yeah, they were corpulant. That's not body. Medically speaking. Yeah, no, medically speaking for corpulant twins.
Starting point is 00:31:57 What about the doublement twins? Did you guys ever audition for them? Yeah, we hate them. Yeah, we hate what would actually the other night we were just in their house being the strangers to them. Yeah Yeah, we played cat and mouse with them. Yeah, we snuck into their house and then when they were asleep We woke them up and we had masks on and we said hey, we're here because your door was open But the door wasn't we broke through And then we we were like okay, we're gonna because your door was open, but the door wasn't, we broke through. And then we, we were like, okay, we're going to torture you on night long.
Starting point is 00:32:30 And so we just kind of pinned them down and fired it in their faked. This is, it's a lot like your other pranks. It's not very spooky. You're very creepy or vile. We thought we were talking about our house for spooky. We're going to lead up as always spooky. And then when you get to the punch line, it's just kind of a let down. your vibe. Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy,
Starting point is 00:32:49 Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy You break into somebody's house and then you kind of move stuff around just a little bit so that they
Starting point is 00:33:06 Come home and they're like wait a second Something feels a little off. Yeah, just to freak them to fuck out. Freak them out. Man sin did it Yeah And this is something you do or you're just telling us kind of we go in there Everyone tells it and we just pop off little turds around the house. Oh Yeah, we just pop off little turds around the house. Oh Okay, yeah, we just pop off little things worse. Well, I mean having having had some poop problems myself You really have to have the right texture of poop because you don't want to be too regular or it's just gonna be one You have to work right? You really want what are your poop problems?
Starting point is 00:33:39 You can't just say something like that. I have I have a thing called Sebo, which you know kind of messes you up I think it makes some hard poops and I did a thing called SIBO, which kind of messes you up. It makes some hard poops. I did a poop test. I'll tell you, this is a comedy thing, right? Sure, yeah. I did do a poop test, and you have to poop in what looks to be a hot dog container. When you say, do you mean a bun or... No, not the extra bun, but the paper thing you get to put the hot dog in.
Starting point is 00:34:00 And you have to poop in there, and then take the pieces of poop, some poop, scoop it out, put them in like seven vials to send off to see your microbiome. Mine was so hard, I couldn't dig in, so I just plopped them in. It was very convenient. So if you guys have seaboe, you're gonna be much more effective at what you do.
Starting point is 00:34:13 I did this for the, what does the test they do? The colon cancer test? Yeah, that did, okay. Yeah, yeah. You had to poop in a box? And it wasn't a hot dog thing. I don't even know what you mean
Starting point is 00:34:24 with the paper you get with hot dogs Like a newspaper. You know when you're at the fair and they put like either some fries in it or the hot dogs See only place you ever get hot dogs is that the fair of course of course. I don't eat a hot dog at home. It's so trashy I'm from Alabama. I'm trying to escape my roots So you guys just put do poop on the floor in the toilet You're being ridiculous. Come on. Come on.
Starting point is 00:34:50 We hate toilets. You hate toilets? We hate them. We hate them. They're like wet doorways. Yeah. They're hard in a lot of ways. I've never stepped through a doorway
Starting point is 00:35:00 and it's been wet on the other side. Yeah. It's awful. It's terrible, but we don't like them very much. But you'll like this. What are the people we creeping crawled with actually Derrid Paddlelecki? Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Oh, Derrid Paddlecki, who was that again? Is that from Supernatural Scott? Oh, I thought he was the king. Jesus Christ, tell him it's why. The whole time you were telling me that, I thought it was the subway guy. And that was like, hell yeah. Definitely not. That's really, definitely go do that to that Jared. The whole time you were telling me that I thought it was the subway guy Different you do that to that Jared, but Jared kind of like he's a lovely person. He's a very Dreambo
Starting point is 00:35:31 Do you think that he and Jared like got some sort of like the the authorities mixed up the their identities? I hope not and the wrong Territors I'm not All I want is poop and that the subway Jared's done Yeah, look at that. That's a bad Jared You like you fit when you're a Jared you have a community of Jared's around you So when you like you must have been so proud of the that subway Jared of like this guy lost all the weight in and suddenly
Starting point is 00:35:55 Yeah, what's what a what a psychopath? Yeah, it looks bad for all the other Jared's right? Well also, you know as a kid it is you go to a gas station and they have a keychains And if you don't have your name and a keychain, it's a bet down. But Jared, I think he's popular enough to have had a Jared keychain community. I can only imagine after the subway thing, they took all the keychains out of the gas stations,
Starting point is 00:36:14 like, no, no, no, no, no, we're not selling these anymore. No more, Jared. Yeah, look. Yeah, what a freak. What a freak. With the subway there. With the subway. To be very clear, the subway.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. We think Jared Patalecki that dream boat. Yeah, what did you do? What did you do with him? We got into a house. We ate all his food. You know what food he's what do you have in the fridge? It's all keto.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Yeah, because he's all he's shredded to hell. He's a tall red wood of a man. Oh my god. Yeah, so we were like, Mayo. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's fat. You gotta have fat on your mouth. You gotta have fat like sour cream. That's sour cream.
Starting point is 00:36:52 That's butter. You were hoping for more protein, but it's not that fat. So he's done an all fat diet. Does that work with keto? I mean, just look at the work. It looks good. He is always looking at it. Yeah, look at that.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Look at that. So you just food. We ate his food. We ate his food. And then we went to his, he has a gym in his house. And we just started working. We started, we ate his food and worked out. We worked out, we worked out, we pumped him ironed,
Starting point is 00:37:17 we pumped him iron, we went on the treadmill. I think we got really thick. Claire fell off of the treadmill. You guys do have great bodies, but I'm rather than the beginning of part of it. Thank you. It's disgusting. Yeah, they're mangled, but the rest of our bodies.
Starting point is 00:37:30 It's OK. It's OK. We had an incident with some coyotes the other night that really got her for trying to. Coyotes? Yeah. Where? What happened?
Starting point is 00:37:40 We play a game called Where is the Bacon? And we shove a bunch of raw Kind of anywhere we want Where do you want anyway it'll hold We run around the Hollywood We said hello Hey everybody what is the big it sounds dangerous everybody, where's the bacon? The sounds dangerous. If you were running around the bulls in my neighborhood,
Starting point is 00:38:08 I would take a shotgun out. Have you ever been in a state of rural wild animal? You ever shot that? Oh my God. I say that so no one tries to. Any of you, you guys, right, come back here. I think I will never be a third timer. Take my copy of the guild in that room over there.
Starting point is 00:38:21 Stop it. We got, we were shot on the set of the shining too. Memorizing. Yeah. By whom? Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson shot you. Yeah. Yeah. We took it too far. We can get way too far. What happened? We just kept we were kind of directing. We were next to Kubrick and we're kind of like we kept having pitches, you know, they'd already fired up. We were like, we're gonna like stay and kind of like hang out and video village. We're cool. Yeah. They were cool. We feel so bad when you fire someone. A lot of times, we were like, we're gonna like stay and kind of like hang out and video village. They were cool with that. Yeah, they were, they were cool with that. Well, you feel so bad when you fire someone.
Starting point is 00:38:48 A lot of times you're just like, hey, hang around video village, you're a long co-direct with me. And you have any ideas and stuff and we're like, we think it would be funny if Jack Nicholson, we think it would be so funny if he like, if his pants fell down right here. And then- Just like going down the stairs. Yeah, going down the stairs and his pants fell down right here. And then just like going down the stairs. Yeah, going down the stairs and then pants falling. And like add some human element to him walking around. I'm making fallible, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Everybody's pants falling down. It feels like he's not the kind of otor that would really appreciate your input. Maybe a Chris Nolan would be more style because your sense of humor really fits his, you know, your territory. Wow, yeah, you would. Often I was so funny so funny oh yeah we were all over it we were all over oh yeah it's not boring at all we we kept saying add more minutes yeah you
Starting point is 00:39:38 can watch off the room twice or listen to We were listening to third. Yeah. Yeah, we kept... We were in... We were video village for Oppenheimer too. Oh no. Yeah. Who were really? What happened over there? Well, none of my stuff got it.
Starting point is 00:39:54 None of my stuff got in. I'm like, okay, if the bomb goes off, what if we're... You cut to us and our hair's blown back. And we go, what a bomb. Wow, that's something about Mary kind of inspired, right? Yeah, right, right. When it's funny hair.
Starting point is 00:40:12 And it had no. I mean, something about Mary, the hair, you know, was due to the aforementioned semen that was inside. I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's called the djist. We just talked about it.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Remember? Yeah, I can't forget. We went, when we went to prom, we did the dj's something about Mary hairdo. We did. We did. Yeah. With who?
Starting point is 00:40:31 With who? Well, we're all. So I'm a moon light at a veterinary office. So we have a lot. We have a lot of gizz there. Animal gizz. I know. I have a lot of animals in my house.
Starting point is 00:40:43 I don't think I have animal gizz around. What are the circumstances in which you would get an animal that jizz all over? We were at a veterinary doctor that specialized in infeminating dog mothers. Oh, okay. They're dog mothers all around. Mother's of dogs. No, I'm sorry, hopeful dog mothers. I do. People who want to give birth to dogs. Yeah, who don't have another male dog partner. No dogs. Dogs who want to give birth to other dogs.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stay here. We're hopeful. We did have one lady come in hoping to give birth to. And we're like, we'll see what happens. She probably got, she probably got kind of confused because on Mother's Day people who don't have children, they always, Oh, you're getting emotional.
Starting point is 00:41:33 I know. Who don't? You have to. Yeah, I have to. On Mother's Day people don't have children, but they want to join in on Instagram. They're like, I'm a dog mom. She's not working, I can't even say that.
Starting point is 00:41:42 And I always reply underneath, no, you're not. This is for the real mother. It's gonna turn out very popular. Oh, wait, I'm still stuck on. Listen, your problem is there's something about Mary theme. That came out in 1998. You were born in 78, so it's 20 years old. We didn't do good at ice.
Starting point is 00:41:59 We did really bad at ice. We were really bad. We were held back a number of years. How many years? Did you just graduate seven seven seven seven years it was bad luck because no one asked us to prom so we went together yeah we might together and let's just say we did it that night. What? What?
Starting point is 00:42:27 You guys made love after prom. That's disgusting. No, slow down. Slow down. Don't jump into it. No, don't. No, don't. No, don't.
Starting point is 00:42:37 No, don't. No, don't. No, don't. Don't worry. It's going to be fine. Don't worry. Slow down. Slow down. Slow down. Slow down. You have to be fine. Don't worry. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain.
Starting point is 00:42:45 It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain.
Starting point is 00:42:53 It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain.
Starting point is 00:43:01 It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's gonna be a pain. It's covering in a coat of dog juice. That's right. After prom. That's right. And we were unable. We didn't even get into the prom really. We had around 12.01 a.m. We were discovered by a pair of Foxy janitors. They were so Foxy. They were Foxy. So two very good looking janitors were they together? Were there a couple or doing the janitor? They were also twins. Oh yeah. I was going to
Starting point is 00:43:29 janitors and they said what are you doing here? We said trying to get laid before graduation. Oh no. And it was a beautiful night. They picked up our rigid bodies with us the way that they're janitors closet and just had their way with us. But we were okay with it. We loved it. We loved it. Wait, then you did group sex with the hot janitors after the something about Mary prom. Covered his options. Did you watch the dog just offer? What? Wait, wait, of course we kept it on. Okay. You're from like, I'm sorry. We're from like. Okay, what was your prom like?
Starting point is 00:44:05 I'm sorry. Where did your prom like? Yeah, what was the theme of your prom, Felicia? I was homeschooled. Oh, you were homeschooled? Oh, so you should go to prom with your mom? I didn't go to a prom. Oh, I went straight to college.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Straight to college. Straight to college, right from prom to college. I didn't go to prom. Okay. I did get taken to, okay, true story. My Quran instructor, he was the assistant He was 15 and he was like hey, there's a Valentine's dance and everybody dresses to the 9 so I wore a head-to-toe velvet dress And I went with Carlos and it we showed up and everyone was in jeans
Starting point is 00:44:35 Oh, and it was my only experience around other American teenagers before I went to college It was not a good experience. Yeah, yeah, he got me a corsage though. That's really nice And how are you it? It was karate it was it was it was Kusu no. Yeah, he got me a croissage, though. That's really nice. And how are you? It was karate. It was it was it was Kusuo. Actually, Kusuo. What how are you these days? Like if I were to attack you right?
Starting point is 00:44:51 No, I only do stunts on film. No. You threw up your hands and you would, ah, yeah, it was in the red. Redbacks now. I'm not getting a pocket. I'm sorry. This might cheer you up.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Great. You're going to cheer you up. You'll never get what we found First of all, we're not depressed but go ahead Okay, we found your tooth From the comic oh my gosh, we found your poop to I felt something pop out of my badge that was it When you guys said you Incessually did each other,
Starting point is 00:45:25 covered in dog gizzards, like my body just seized and just gushed. And I felt something pop, but I just thought it was just, you know, pee. But thank you. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Welcome. Yeah, this is great. Put it in. Put it in. Put it in. Well, it's actually not the cap replaced. No, I'm not. No, put it in.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Take it. Put it in. All right, these are all full. I'm ready to pledge for it not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. Oh, I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in.
Starting point is 00:45:50 I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in.
Starting point is 00:45:58 I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. I'm not putting it in. Are you sure I don't find opening up my veins? Hey, what are you doing tonight? Oh Yeah, do you work come in how if I
Starting point is 00:46:08 You might go and I bring some other people's houses. Yeah, like who wet silver Do you know the celebrities personally that you playing or do you? Oh, no, okay great So just what's on your top five list who's on your top five Patricia? Oh, we can't wait. Yeah Who's on your top patricia hate oh We can't wait. Yeah, wait Everybody loves Raymond Yes, don't pretend like you don't know
Starting point is 00:46:34 America one of those rare stars whose last name is a verb We love her she's a birth at all She's so good. We're gonna go around poop on her floor Sounds like you guys just want to poop on floors. That's these are not pranks necessarily. This is just you having a spooky We don't have a No, we don't have a that is that's bad. Just slow down You have to breathe. You have to breathe.
Starting point is 00:47:07 I have to breathe. I'm going to speak for Felicia. I think we're busy tonight. Yeah. I'm reserving seven hours tonight to listen to the third eye. Thank you so much. And I have anywhere else to be. Well, okay.
Starting point is 00:47:22 At least do this for us. So we just had a dating show Greenlit. And we, well, what network would Greenlit you guys? Oh my God. Um, is this a C-broku? A row, oh,
Starting point is 00:47:32 a row here. Oh yeah. Okay, what's the premise of the show? With twins. Just twins. Just twins dating twins. Twin dating twins.
Starting point is 00:47:42 So like the Olsen twins dating Rami Malik At least win. Well, you know, Rami now it's a twin. Yeah, he's not famous. Hey, that's a good idea I wish I was just twins looking for other twins to fall in love with yeah Yeah, that's because you guys want to stay together I can only imagine if you were to date separately and then you would split up We tried that one time, it was very bad. It was horrible. It was the worst day of our lives.
Starting point is 00:48:09 We both walked onto the highway. We did. And we got so confused. And we got walking up the Honda Civic thing. Are you my sister? Are you my sister? What? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Yeah. All right, well. So now we're like, I'll hold hands now. Every drink, everything. Everything. All right, well. So now we're like. I don't hold hands every drink, everything. Every drink. You're like, did you ever read about those conjoined twins who, when they would date, they'd put like a sheet in between them
Starting point is 00:48:34 and while they were, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're joined in. Would make love. Where'd you read that? Like Wikipedia? I think I had a book of, this is a bad word for it. Of course, but freaks
Starting point is 00:48:46 Oh my god Wow coming in high I mean that was the title of the book Maybe you guys can join yourselves together. Where would you where would you attach you? One two three Pussy I'll put my booby in your job in your pussy and then we could be conjoined okay you got it right
Starting point is 00:49:10 now I don't I don't know I do it right now oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no He's carrying it with me here. Hey take a swing of Jack Here we go. Yeah, I went some Oh Baby Sisters Sisters I'm sisters. I'm a teen sister. I'm a teen sister. Okay. Hi guys.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You guys really know the song by heart. Yes, yes, yes. We see every night before we fall asleep at the same time. Right. We always fall asleep at the same time. Well guys, we're, we're, I don't know. We are running out of time
Starting point is 00:50:05 You never know have you been awake when I've been asleep before no No one time what happened I Rolled-o was on and it was a fascinating epithos Al Capone's vault episode I How do you know? Well, he won that. I think that's the only one I saw too. Yeah, there was one where a chair was thrown, he broke his nose, right? Oh, the two episodes that he did. Did you see that one live?
Starting point is 00:50:32 A whole lifetime of things, and it's just boils down to two hours of... That's all of us. You know what I mean? Your whole lifetime is going to be seven hours of... Third on. Yeah, maybe, or I'll just die, in no believe, you know, just unknown and forgotten. Yeah. What a wonderful way to end this segment.
Starting point is 00:50:49 We do have to take a break guys. Okay. Okay. Did you stick around though? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we have the film director and maybe you've worked with them.
Starting point is 00:50:58 That'll be interesting. I bet. Mom, have we? Clack, clack, clack, clack. Oh, cool. All right. Mom says, clack, clack, clack. Oh, cool. All right, mom says, clack, clack, clack. We need to take a break. When we come back, we'll have more with Felicia Day,
Starting point is 00:51:10 more Selma and Blair. We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Comedy bang bang, we're back. We have Felicia Day. Third eye is the project, and people can get it right now. It's out. Right, the second, you can get it right now. It's out.
Starting point is 00:51:25 Right. The second you can get all seven hours slash third eye. It's a comedy adventure has romance. I have to say. Who gets together with who? Um, well, good question. Uh, Will Wheaton and London Hughes, the fairy and the bag. They hook up. They, they have a, a toward relationship. And in fact, when we were recording, I don't know if you know,
Starting point is 00:51:43 Will Wheaton, he's very funny. He should be a one time. Never. Okay. I can hook you up. He can come in a more one time. I'll do it. Um, would it be bad if he was on? I told him I skipped all of his episodes of the strategy. Forget I said, forget I offered. Um, he and London Hughes have a romance. Uh, Sean Aston and the lovely Janet Farnie have a romance. And she is very funny. She is, I think she's a scene stealer. So wonderful. How's that feel though to have your scenes, these scenes that you've written to be stolen
Starting point is 00:52:09 by the likes of Janet Varnie? I mean, we've done a lot of projects together. I'll stand next to her tall, blonde, gorgeousness, and I'll be, I'll play second fiddle to anything because I wrote it. I'm the boss. I could edit her out. Oh, interesting.
Starting point is 00:52:22 I wonder what's on the cutting room floor of Janet. It's nothing. She's so good. We also what's on the cutting room floor of Janet's. Nothing. She's so good. We also have Selma and Blair here. They're twins. 45 year old twins. We were looking at famous. What is this?
Starting point is 00:52:31 What are these? What are these? What are what? These dough retos. What are the hell is that? You've never seen Doritos before. No, what the fuck is that? They're a snack item.
Starting point is 00:52:40 They're chip. They're tortilla chips. My God. These good news. Look at this sister. Look at their color. They're such Oh my god, these are these good. Look at this sister look at that color. It's that beautiful color Wow take it here red We don't have any cool ranch. Oh my god. Wow Fantastic that's the greatest thing I've ever put in my map. Yeah, have another bag
Starting point is 00:52:58 Yeah, feel free. Yeah, I got my We're not sponsored by Doritos, but I'd be willing to take my picture with them. Take your picture with them, post it. They'll send you a bag. I'm a one bag. Come on, single, but travel side travel side. I don't think one a pick of me. I'm like a one bag sponsored by some brands. Who's sponsoring you guys so many liquid IV.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Oh, okay, they're a sponsor on this show. Really? I thought it was liquid four for a long time. Oh, that's hilarious. I played a character named by Buffy the Vampire Slayer really I was liquid for for a long time oh that's hilarious I played a character named by on Buffy the Bim player slayer and people thought it was six people people thought it was six people I love your performance is six I'm like you clearly I don't then they stole that on stranger things oh my god I just call her six although I hear she's over stranger things I saw that one interview that they drenched up from a year ago just to get some strike
Starting point is 00:53:46 content. Bravo media. Well, why bother? Even saying that. That's like you're under contract for another year. Exactly. Get it over with. Guys, we were looking up famous twins.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Scarlett Johansson is a twin. Yes. Ashton Kutcher. Key for Sutherland. Wow. So this is Joel Madden is a twin who's married to the aforementioned Camerandias of there's something about Marie Finn. Wow.
Starting point is 00:54:09 Connections. Yeah. We've met Scarlett Johansson twins. Oh really? She is hideous. Wait, oh, that's not very good. No, I mean, no, no, I'm talking about her. I mean, she makes us look beautiful.
Starting point is 00:54:22 Oh, you're not better looks. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you wanted to clarify. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah you're like, better looks. Yes, yeah. Okay, you wanted to clarify. Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty clear. Oh yeah, here's that. So there's no mistake. Yeah, there was a person. I mean, like one of her feet is a rusted can.
Starting point is 00:54:32 You're I'm saying, oh, god, that's bad. She is. Are you sure she wasn't just playing kick the can and got it stuck on there? No, she's a medical oddity. Oh, okay. She should be in that book, though, I bought. Yeah, freak.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Yeah. All right, well, we need that book though, Ibu. Yeah, freak. Yeah. All right, we need to get to our next guest. He's a director and he's directed a lot of medical audities. Certainly one film in particular, the elephant man about medical audity, certainly. But I'm a big fan of all of his work, including Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet. Please welcome to the show for the first time, David Lynch.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Hello, Scott. It's wonderful to be here with you and all these people. It's wonderful to have you, David. I've been in the corner reading the freak book. Did you get any new ideas? I got plenty of ideas, but honestly, the things in my imagination are infinitely more freakish. Oh, I imagine. Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:26 You're one of my favorite directors. Thank you. You also did the weather on Indie 103-1, when I was there doing my show there. Yes, we are former co-workers. Really is the time that Scott and I would chop it up around the water cooler. That's right. You were doing the weather, Timothy Olephant was doing sports. Uh, and the three of us would tear the town up. We would paint it red.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Yeah. We did. Yes. A lot like these Doritos. Oh, let me, what the hell are these? Oh, you've never had Doritos either. What I was. No, I've only ever, uh, milk shakes coffee and cigarette butts. Wow.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Yes. You have constipation. I'm sure. I, I think butts. Wow. Yes. You have constipation, I'm sure. I think so. Great. I'm fully blocked. Give them some tips. Okay, just smoke as much cigarettes as you can.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Okay. Okay. And paint for hours every day. Just paint. Can I dip into your blood, real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll dip into the redos or quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm dipping the burritos or blood. Oh, delicious.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Yeah. Dremendous. To me, these twins are normal. Oh, you have a different point of view though. Yeah, so for me, it's a little as a view. Just a bit twisted. Yeah. Tell me, tell me, I've always wondered this about you.
Starting point is 00:56:40 When you directed that movie, the Straight Story, rated G for Disney. Yeah, that's right. The Disney Zone, the Straight Story, rated G for Disney, the Disney Zone, the Straight Story. Did you think that it was a reboot of the lawnmower, man? Yes, I did. I, someone told me, we've got a script about a lawnmower. I said, say no more. I assumed they should have said more. Yeah, they should have said more because I showed up to said
Starting point is 00:57:01 and it was not about a lawnmower slowly creeping towards people. Is that what the lot more man is about? That's what my version of the lot more is. I was told it was about some sort of computer thing. Yeah, yeah. Please, are you ever see the lot more there? I have to say my Lynch repertoire,
Starting point is 00:57:15 I don't like thinking movies. Oh sure, neither do I. That's why my movies are ethereal and mysterious. Mm-hmm. I worked briefly with these twins. Did you recall that I was gonna ask? I cast them in the lost highway. They were playing the Trisha Arquette Rolls.
Starting point is 00:57:33 A woman with black hair and a woman with blonde hair. Can you imagine? Wow. Yes. That's right, that movie is about doubles. You have a double-kill woman and a- There's nothing more mysterious than a getting a version of yourself and We it is our fault. We forgot to show up to set on the fourth day
Starting point is 00:57:52 Oh, no, you had to be half three days. Yeah, I love to see that footage. Oh, Yes, it was it was they kept peaking the levels on the boom might it was a lot of screaming Up into the boom. Yes pulling the boom might. It was a lot of screaming up into the boom. Yes. Pulling the boom down. All the way down. And we constantly had to stop down for games of where's the bacon? Oh no. We all the kids looking into camera and going, can you believe it? And you would have been better. Yeah. We have a different point of view. That's normal to me. David, and this is a true story. When I went to go see Lost Highway, I saw the Los
Starting point is 00:58:29 Fielis III and Dana Gould, a comedian, Dana Gould, happened to be in the audience. And a woman, it's really quiet and very suspenseful. And an elderly woman came in about late, about eight minutes into it, one of the creepiest parts, and just started saying, Henry? Henry? about late, about eight minutes into it. One of the creepiest parts, and just started saying, Henry. Henry. Henry.
Starting point is 00:58:49 Just trying to find her husband and Dana Gould, after she said this like 15 times, said, ma'am, I will pay you to kill yourself. Oh. Scott, would it shock you to learn that woman was me? What? Yeah. So you're showing up like Taylor Swift,
Starting point is 00:59:03 all these screenings in these movies? I am constantly you're showing up like Taylor Swift, all the screenings of these movies? I am constantly moving about the world like Taylor Swift. I have, I pay people to move me about in a trash can. Oh, this makes sense now. She got it from you. That's right. Yes, Taylor and I are very close. You're very hooked into pop culture.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Yes, I seem to strangely be able to appeal to women of all ages. Women in the entertainment industry are actually it's twin peaks. It's twin peaks. It's twin peaks. It's twin peaks. It's twin peaks.
Starting point is 00:59:31 It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one.
Starting point is 00:59:39 It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. It's a really tough one. We're content. Yeah, you had a Sheryl and Finn. Sheryl and Finn. You're a fling boil.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Yeah, so much. Do you look at TikTok as maybe a place where you could share your artistry? What's that? Oh, okay, forget it. TikTok, it's so hard to explain. Short form videos. Short form, shiny. For movies.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Go on. I'll let you know where COVID came from. Yeah, okay. The Wuhan, so okay the Wuhan what's that? No, what's that wait wait what is that what is that? Covid Cofefe That's funny. That was funny. That was funny.
Starting point is 01:00:22 You have a different point of view. I have a different sense of view. But you're a little askew a little askew. That's right. But I'm not, I don't want to be twisted forever, Scott. Really? What do you want to do? I recently had an epiphany while I was deep
Starting point is 01:00:34 in a trance of transcendental meditation. That's right, you're big into tea. I'm big into TM. I got turned on to it by my best friend, Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, I'm doing real. I'm doing this. His words are so close. They're very close. Yes, I gave him best friend Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, I didn't realize. His work's so cool. They're very close.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Yes, I gave him the idea for Seinfeld. Right. Just gave it to him. Yes. What's the idea, though? Did you have something on your life? Well, my initial concept was, what if four friends gathered at a coffee shop and were never able to leave?
Starting point is 01:01:01 Because a mysterious force was keeping them inside. And what if then, I actually wrote the Bizarro episode where there was a whole doppelgangers of all. That was very funny. But you wrote it as a drama and it turned out funny. Yes, they added a laugh track where I wanted haunting pipe noises. Wait, I remember this. Yeah, I remember it because in your eyes,
Starting point is 01:01:23 Newman, it's all a dream in Newman's mind Yes, and originally I wanted the series finale to be a three-hour scene where Newman Yeld into a telephone As a fan of simphil I've watched this Yeah, I mean couldn't have been worse than the actual finale. They do that's what I said to Larry David Shots fired the chat's fired I it's no holds barred when David's on the mic and Ellie they do. That's what I said. That's what Larry David. Shots fired. The chats fired. It's no holds barred when David's on the mic.
Starting point is 01:01:48 I always appreciated that about you when we were at Indie 103. That's right. But I had an epiphany. Okay, people have boxed me in as a filmmaker of the spooky and the strange and the surreal. Elephant man. The elephant man.
Starting point is 01:02:02 What a freak. A racer head. What a freaky monster yeah and you imagine an eraser for a head that's what I did imagine that means the rest of you's a pencil and that's so I know yes yes and so but so I it's time for a full rebrand for David baby he wants to make some sweet buckaroo's before he shuffles off this mortal coil. Bucco Dolores? No.
Starting point is 01:02:27 Buckaruz. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I apologize. And so I'm getting into the game of the most marketable films there are, Ranchi Teen Sexual Comedy. Wow. Why I think you have your stars right here.
Starting point is 01:02:42 I know. Welcome to Bunk You. I know. Any of you would be wonderful in these raunchy teen sexual I don't know that these are all that popular anymore, but I mean that may be besides the point I would love to see you try one. I love cool. Would you like to hear some of my Okay, good while these were just things I that came to me in a dream when I was Sleeping in the concrete art studio out behind my house where I hide from my family.
Starting point is 01:03:07 I'm sorry. I'm not. I did to smoke in there. These pitches are best heard with the beautiful sounds of Angelo Battle and Mentez piano under these things. Do you want to plug into this? Oh, I didn't know we could clear Angelo, but yes, yes, I'm a scuffle. You can do anything on this.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Let me, let me find it. Oh, let me find it. Let me, let me find it. I'm prepared. Well, I didn't expect all of this. Let's see what you're the one who brought it up. Yeah, I know. I know.
Starting point is 01:03:40 You pitched something. I know, but I thought that people at home could set up something to where you thought that people were going to to be in the music. People could enjoy this the way I listen to music Which is two different sets of speakers pointing at different sides of my head. I'll do it. I got it. I got it. You got it I can turn it down. Okay good. Okay listen. This is 90% of my job is turning things up or I say you're very good Now of course these are Rachi movies. These are kind of movies that feature teenagers, boobs, and forny situations.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Ooh, wow. Not these boobs. And they're so into a vagina. Come on. And I can rip them off. You'll never get broken. I know. But also we can rip them off.
Starting point is 01:04:21 We can create a movie called in stitches Okay, the first film is called boob house Boob house. Yes when popular senior Allen's parents go out of town to attend a shadow orgy He and his lacrosse buddies turn his house into a party pad to increase their chances of seeing boobs the titular boob house Teddy to increase their chances of seeing boobs, the titular boobhouse. Teddy! Key scenes include, the boys of boobhouse convincing the Swedish exchange student to play spin the bottle on a slip-ins line. Huh, that's good, right? Seems dangerous. Logistically how important.
Starting point is 01:04:57 Allen's buddy Munch flooding the boobhouse bathroom after shitting too hard. Oh! We could be Munch! We could be munch. We could be munch. And finally, a drifter cutting off the hand of a lumberjack. Okay, that's less fun. That's less of a raunchy comedy situation.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I mean, it's body, you know, a rind. Centric, yeah. But not the part of the body that is considered taboo. I see. Like the penis, which I have. Congratulations. Earlier, we were talking about wajiannimos. Okay, is considered taboo and icy like the penis which I have Earlier we were talking about what genitals If you're looking for a funny person to pull that off we know a coyote with a wig that is hilarious, I know her she's my neighbor. Oh
Starting point is 01:05:41 On molland We the coyote of the hills I live where you said I live where the car crash took place I can't let me dip in your blood to write right this down because this next pitch is hot hot You want to start the music over? No, it's still going but I think okay, great start on the music there we go. Okay. This one's called Use It or Lose It. After being scared by misinformation dispensed by their sex ed teacher, the dudes in McKinley High School's haunting industrial noise club make a pact to lose their virginities before their dicks fall off. Kecines include. Nerdy team Leonard accidentally fingering the German lunch lady, Mrs. Buttfluger.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Okay. Yeah. That would be a good one. That's a fucking bad thing. Not a foreign woman harassment here. He was right. Yes, I like to harass those I love. Dwayne and Skeeter arguing over whether or not
Starting point is 01:06:40 they're three-way with the principal's daughter counted for Skeeter if he only got the top half. And an old toll booth operator who speaks only in echoes. Right? Again, like your third thing. The third thing is Strager than the other two? Is that what you're doing? It seems like it.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Oh my god. It doesn't look like the genre as well. I wasn't picking up on this one. I was in my flow states thanks to TM which Paul McCartney does. Oh It's always great to get a new convert over to TMS. Yes. Yes. What's the difference between TMS and just plain M? Oh Meditation. Yeah. Yeah. Well one is transcendental. Oh That's what the T is. Oh, that's what the T is for. Yeah. Do you have another one?
Starting point is 01:07:25 I do. Do you want to start the music over? I do. Yes. Yes. Yes. Here we go. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Hey, the final pitch. And look, David, your third thing better not be weird than these things. Let me take a look at it. No, it looks very normal to be. We'll find out what we get there. This one's called Mama's Boys with a Z. At the end of what? Mama? Both.
Starting point is 01:07:53 Mama's great. Okay. Yes, for extra relevance. That's insane. I see two Zs though when I start to fall asleep. What do you mean? Oh, because the third Z might appear. Yeah, put you to sleep. I'll get out of that.
Starting point is 01:08:05 Beetle juice rules. Yes, Beetle juice rules. Beetle juice is normal to be. Oh, no, we've said it. What about what Lauren Gover did in the Beetle juice? It's not normal to eat. It's normal to eat. Yes, what could be more erotic than a man covered in grave
Starting point is 01:08:19 rot, dancing for your amusement? How could they contain their erotic desires? You seem to know a lot about pop culture, almost like you write for a television show. I've got my finger on the pulse man. I'm in Bob's big boy every day listening to what the people are talking about. Wait, does Drew Carey paying for your meals? Yes. That's unfair.
Starting point is 01:08:40 You're a DJ. I know, I know, but listen. Okay, Bob, alright, so we can't bomb this boys. You are an actor though you, I know, but listen. Okay, mom, all right. So we can't mom this boy. You are an actor though you were into it. That's right, I'm sagged. The boys of Phi Delta Chi planned themselves a wet and wild spring break in Cabo. But thanks to a series of clerical errors, they end up at the same Indianapolis hotel that's hosting the country's biggest milk convention.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Oh my God. Sounds good to me so far. I would go to a milk convention. I qualify. Of course. Yes, we would all attend a milk convention. Oh my god. Sounds good to me so far. I would go to a milk convention. I qualify. Of course. Yes. We would all attend a milk convention. No dogmothers though. But wouldn't there be room for all mothers and I mean yes I'd like to. I'll fill them but our mom would be perfect in this movie. Yes. Okay. Okay. Great. All right. What else? Sammy? Okay. Okay. Key sings. I feel like you need to start. Key. Hold on. Restarting send me your hedge. Okay, Keeseings, clearly you need to start Keeseing.
Starting point is 01:09:25 Okay, hold on. Restarting? Okay, good. I just want to make sure there's enough. Okay, good, good, good. Momma's boys, with his e, otherwise, however, we get it. Okay, Keeseed's a clue.
Starting point is 01:09:36 Frat President Johnny Thiccneck making love to a Foxy sales associate in an abandoned surletop. Okay, all right. Ronchy, the guys discovering that all their moms are at the convention. in an abandoned surletop. Okay. All right. Ranchie. The guys discovering that all their moms are at the convention. They all swap moms and have sex with each other. Ranchie. All right.
Starting point is 01:09:53 I think there's a reality show like that while my little younger. Well, they do love the third thing. Laura Dern sobbing in a trash. And those are the pitches for the Ranchie movie. I don't know what during this such a wavy actor. I don't I just think she's ray of Finn. She's a gay icon. A gay icon. Period. Why do you care? You're a gay icon. Yeah. David Lynch is a gay. What's it take to become a gay icon? I am? Yeah. David Lynch is a gay icon. What's it take to become a gay icon?
Starting point is 01:10:25 Because I kinda wanna be one. Ooh, you need to be 80% more confusing. Yeah. Yes. I'm just confused. Yeah, you're a little too literal, God. Okay, I'm done. Is this why people have been shouting slay at me?
Starting point is 01:10:38 Yeah. I think maybe for a different reason. Oh, really? Yeah. Is because of that Santa hat you're wearing. Yes. No, it's Christmas to you now. The Halloween is Christmas to you. This is the happiest time of year.
Starting point is 01:10:50 So what do we think of these movies? I mean, these are ready to go. Can I play the German cafeteria worker? Yes, Mrs. Bunt's Lou Gehr. But I just want to put my hat in the ring. I'm trying to get more active work next year. So yeah, let me know. We'd be happy to have you.
Starting point is 01:11:06 I gotta ask, why are you asking what we think? This isn't shark tank. Like we're not in vestiges. I know, but I'm shy. Oh. That makes a David be sure to send that. I know. It's hard for me because I have such a bombastic voice
Starting point is 01:11:18 and personality, but the truth is, I'm shy. You're just a shy boy. I'm shy. We'll find out your movie. Yeah. You guys have a lot boy. I'm shy. We'll fund all your movies. You will. You guys have a lot of money. Yes. But where?
Starting point is 01:11:29 Lassoos. Lassoos. Lassoos. Wow. Be sued or suing someone else? Sowing so many people. Blue Nusual. The municipality of Los Angeles.
Starting point is 01:11:40 Yeah. They have deep pockets. That's right. We fall down city hall stairs once every four years They fall off of There's gonna be real accessibility problems now that you're sewn together, so I think There's a new idea for you. That's right. They need to be ADA compliant those bathers. Yeah Fucking fuck
Starting point is 01:12:02 Yeah It was fucking fuck I lived it. I'll take it from Felicia enough from the like to you. Hey fuck Scott Right? Sorry I know We're going straight that up. We're fellow DGA members. Yes. Yes when people think of iconic alt directors It's you and me, baby. Wow, I sued the city watching. Larza and Treer.
Starting point is 01:12:30 I sued the city once because I fell and hit my head while I was walking down some of the hidden stairways in Los Feliz. That's right. And then they took me to the hospital and tried to cure my fever dreams. Oh, no. I said, no, that's just the way I think. Man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:48 I can imagine when a doctor asks you questions when you go in for checkups and stuff. Yes. That's why I never go in for checkups. I check myself out. I'm my own doctor. How are you doing? Bad. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:13:02 I've been smoking since I was in the womb. How's your how's your poop? What's your poop tensile strength? What's the tensile strength of my piece? How strong is it on it? What are the what's the usual the usual scale of tensile strength of poop? I'll know is the most scale. I tell you the most scale. The most scale? Well then on the most scale, it's probably somewhere in the middle. But if you want a visual reference, if you want a visual reference, most of my movements come out looking exactly like the creature from a racer head. Hey, thank you.
Starting point is 01:13:40 We'll never explain how it was created. Just tell us. Okay, sure. Okay, it was real. Oh! How is that right? Yes, yes. It was a real baby that I birthed by myself. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 01:13:54 Yes. Is the Ratherhead technically encrypted? Yes, it is technically encrypted. Sharp by Blair or Selma, whichever you are. I forgot. I thought you asked if it was encrypted. No, cryptid. What's a cryptid?
Starting point is 01:14:10 Like a big foot. Oh, yeah. Or a get-team. Like a nest. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Or a mysterious shadow force wandering through the woods of the Pacific Northwest.
Starting point is 01:14:21 Or a Wario. I don't know. Is Wario a cryptid? Yeah. No. We all had dinner is Wario encrypted. Yeah, we all had dinner with Wario. Yes, that's unfortunate. I would never want to have dinner with Wario. He's a little salty for my tears.
Starting point is 01:14:33 He's a poor loser. Poor her. He was fascinating. We all know Mario. Sure, but imagine if you can a version of Wario with a different hat and the different shaped mustache They look so similar and yet they are completely Antithetical the one that's Mario is the lost highwayverson of Mario
Starting point is 01:14:56 Yeah, right and in my version of the Mario Brothers movie both would be played by Robert Blake brothers movie, both would be played by Robert Blake. Yes, to me, he's normal. Well, yeah, I mean, didn't you cast him after all that went down and lost time? Maybe. Well, like we're running out of time. So, no, I have to say it is. So, but we are running out of time.
Starting point is 01:15:20 We only have time for one final feature. That is, of course, a little something called plugs. And my nine days now, spookies, spookies, pluggies. Oh, bone-chilling. I'm terrified. That was, we've come for your overalls by WeTay. Thank you to WeTay for that wonderful plug theme. If you have a plug theme head over to slash plugs and we'll play it on the show and you can be famous for a week and we tell you are famous for a week.
Starting point is 01:16:07 And Felicia, what are we plug in here this week? I think I'm gonna plug the thing we've been plugin' all day. Let's be consistent. It's third eye. It's unottable. It's a fantasy comedy starring me and a bunch of really cool people like Neil Gaiman and Wilbur Newton and Sean Eston and Janet Farty and yeah, get your money's worth in that you probably have a free credit.
Starting point is 01:16:23 So cash it in. Exactly. I'm going to be doing this tonight, all seven hours. Let me watch the Godfather too for three and a half of the years. I mean, you can choose. Maybe do half and half. Yeah, every other minute switch off. Or no, any time the Godfather too goes into a flashback, I then turn it off and I listen
Starting point is 01:16:39 to the third eye and get on the treadmill or something. Yeah, and get on the treadmill. Yeah, a lot like Jared Paladek. Yes, I get a paddle. I'm like, how am I supposed to know that? Oh, you only. And sometimes I said what I said. You gotta be getting the credit for getting it almost right.
Starting point is 01:16:55 Early, Outsheart Throb and now adult gentleman, Jared Paladek you should be a part of your repertoire. He's part of mine. Have you ever cast him in something? Oh, I would love to. I used to watch the CW non-stop. Yeah, they have a lot of creepy stuff on there. Not to me.
Starting point is 01:17:12 It was normally just, David, what do you want to plug? I of course would like to plug the blue ray of inland empire, which is also about three hours long and was shot on digital video in an era when it looked awful. And yet, Criterion still put it out. Yes, because it's a masterpiece and a barely watchable masterpiece. But I'd also like to plug the work of a comedian, Devin Field, who was a hot boss.
Starting point is 01:17:39 Oh, I took a plane with him recently. Oh, awful. But to you, I mean, it's awful, but to me it was great. It was normal and great. Was he in coach and you were in first classroom? Oh no, this was a spirit. I believe. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:17:51 We were all in coach. I mean, I wasn't there. Wait, I was. I was dressed as the woman who showed up to that screening of Blue Velvet or lost highway. Lost highway. I walked up and down the aisle, played shouting, Henry, Henry. Anyway, listen to David Fieldspot guess firsthand. Blue velvet or lost highway lost highway. I walked up and down the aisle to play shouting Henry Henry
Starting point is 01:18:07 Anyway, listen to David Fields podcast firsthand. I'm David Lynch firsthand third eye Oh, it's a delightful podcast in which two men Devin feel a great gaunt Talk to people who witnessed the great events of history and try to correct this season, they're trying to correct the course of history. Oh, that sounds fascinating.
Starting point is 01:18:32 It does, I mean, you can't pitch it a little, but maybe you have Devon, could you pitch it a little bit better? Devon could pitch it way more. Yeah, a little bit better. Fight out it. I'm so mad and blare, what do you wanna play? Ooh, we wanna, we have,
Starting point is 01:18:44 we do have a genital fight happening. Oh, yeah, I've got no Ben Berthard death on November 3rd I'm a third in the parking lot. What tickets to you David tickets to be why they are loose pieces of hair And we accept that we love so we love so in the parking lot of Lothgloboat at 10 p.m. on November 3rd. Yeah, so be there. Be there. It'll be good. We also have a pocket. Are you mean the podcast we live into?
Starting point is 01:19:11 I mean we listen to a podcast we love. It's so fucking cool and funny and scary. It's so scary. What is this the perfect time to listen to a scary podcast? What is this one? This one's got two spooky t-handle. That's right. It's part of earwelfth prevent. Yeah. And is it two twos like two spooky t-handle. That's right, it's part of earwax prevents.
Starting point is 01:19:25 Yeah. And is it two twos, like two fast two theory? Yeah. It's two twos. And that title is the same as my lower back tattoo. That's two. That's right. Two tattoo handle.
Starting point is 01:19:38 Yeah, you can really see it when you're hitting it from behind. You're gay. You're gay, I can't. I can't. What is two spooky twos handle? Oh, it's behind. You're gay. You're gay, hey, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, what is, what is too spooky to handle? Oh, it's awesome. It's really great. So every Friday of October, these really funny people named Bethy and Mano and a bunch of
Starting point is 01:19:55 friends have improvised horror movies. Wow. That's right. Improvised horror movies, filled with characters and stupidity and sound effects, starring people like Nicole Byer, Don Gabriel, Mary Highland, Oscar Montoya, the Red Lacku, Katie Dippold and Pion Benefa. Wow. Look how well they pitch not even their podcast.
Starting point is 01:20:16 Wow. It's just something they listen to. Wow. They haven't healed. They're sitting somewhere feeling like shit. You did live in it's free on air. For them. Yeah, so look up your will presents and your podcast beats and and there are a few episodes out right now.
Starting point is 01:20:32 All of them. Maybe yeah, probably all of them today for Halloween. So I think they're all out. Boom. A friend leaving Apple podcast review. I want to plug look the comedy bank book is still out there available to be sold on for your holiday pleasure. And we have signed versions coming out.
Starting point is 01:20:56 I think we have some coming out through Barnes and Noble as well as I think earwolf has is going to be selling. We did about a hundred through earwolf. So if you want to wait to buy the book for those, go ahead. But you can find out any information about it at slash book. And while you're over there at CBBWorld, check out all the shows we have over there. We have CBB Presents. We have Scott Asnstein.
Starting point is 01:21:19 We also have, oh man, we have the neighborhood listen just came over to CBBWorld. So that's very exciting. All right, let's close up the old plug-back Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Starting point is 01:21:58 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:22:09 Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:22:17 Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my God. You know when we said make a munder a minute. We didn't want them all to be
Starting point is 01:22:27 57 58 seconds long I got a little awkward the last 10 I was like, oh, it's too long But then I got I got back and it was like listening to godfather part two Which is the only way to do it as far as I'm concerned. I want to think that was Dustin Gray with all inside the plug-back baby Thanks so much to Dustin and guys. I want to thank you Fel Dustin Gray with all inside the plug back baby. Thanks so much to Dustin and guys I want to thank you Felicia. Always great to see you. Thank you Welcome to the two-timers club when I said I never wanted to be a three-time or I didn't mean it I was really fun. Although I don't want these creeps on there when I'm okay. I'll try
Starting point is 01:22:58 My book Have a bloody Dorito. Oh god, it's so covered in your everything. Yeah, a vaguulent blood. Selma and Blair, thanks so much. Good luck to you guys. And it sounds like to me, like you're starring in David's new film. Yeah. It's gonna be my swan song.
Starting point is 01:23:18 Let's do it together, kids. Yeah. You got it. What do you think, mom? Wow. Wow. You said no. What do you say, mom? Cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck c Fush!

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