Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Hannah Einbinder, Carl Tart, Talia Tabin

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Hannah Einbinder is back this week to discuss name pronunciation, her love of Eagles football, and "Hacks" returning for its fourth season. Then, Deion Sanders (shoutout to Shaboozey) returns to clap his hands, stomp his feet, and talk about "Step by Step." Finally, psychic Abby Spot joins to talk about her past experience as a dog. #DeionOnHacks Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

I I see London, I see France, I see your house on Google Maps. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thanks to Dick Michelob for that catchphrase submission. Dick Michelob. It's pretty catchy. Other than saying Google, Google is so hard to pronounce, isn't it? I'm going to talk to our guest of honor. Try to say Google if you don't mind.

Okay, here I go. Google. Not bad. You really stress the L. Google. But isolating Google is one thing. Saying it in a sentence, it's like kind of- Say, I see London, I see France, I see your house on Google Maps. I see London, I see France, I see your house on Google Maps. That is a bachelor of fine arts for you. That's what it gets you. Absolutely. Well, we did some vocal warmups and exercises

before we got on mic. Of course. So that's what that was for. What was your warm- Did you have to craft a warmup? And I'll introduce you in a second. By all means. And what did you do in your warmup?

Did you speak the speech, I pray you as it comes trippingly off the tongue? I sort of would do Scott Ackerman. Scott, Scott. So even before you knew me, you knew to mispronounce my last name first of all. Ackerman? Do your own research. Wait. Like I do with the vaccines.

Wait. Ackerman is how it's pronounced. But that's okay. We know each other a bit socially. We've been to one party together. Sure. We went to one party. We went to one party at the same time.

Had a 30 second interaction. That you regretted from what I can tell. And you don't remember. Yeah. Which is pretty much the story of my life. And by the way, it's like, there's a possibility that at one time I did know what the A was doing in your last name, but one thing you can guarantee with me is that I will forget. That's okay. I'm gonna try to pronounce you.

I actually was going over it this morning saying, do I have it right? By the way, and that's because because I am Einbinder, I know those things don't those. Oh, Hannah's like, it's giving you trouble. I can tell if it was Hannah or Hannah. Wow, that you'd be the first to be thrown by the first name actually, which is impressive. You, you, you're a trailblazer.

Well, let's introduce you. She of course plays, I'm going to, I'm going to say Ava. Is it Ava? Ava. It's Ava. Is it Ava? Ava. It's Ava. Ava Voyager on the hit show Hacks, which is returning to Max.

Is it on HBO proper as well or? You know, who could ever really know? Who knows with these conglomerates these days what comes out where. Yeah. But it's returning for a fourth season on April 10th, wet day, of course, we'll talk about that. Please welcome back to the show, Hannah Einbinder.

Hello. Hello, friend. Hello, this is my third time on here. Welcome to the third time, three timers club. The three timers club. Who's the highest number of times on here, I guess? I couldn't even tell you the highest number. All I can tell you is the more you're on,

the worse your career seems to be doing. Because the one timers club is where you wanna be. That's Paul Rudd, that's Ben Stiller, that's Childish Gambino himself. Then the more you're on, just the more like available you are, unfortunately. Totally. I have to be so honest with you. I really despise a podcast, himself, then the more you're on, just the more like available you are, unfortunately. I have to be so honest with you.

I really despise a podcast, but I just can't quit you. This one you love. I tell you, each time we reach out to your people, and you have so many people, but each time we reach out to your people to see if you'd like to be on, I get back a response of she's incredibly busy. I doubt this will work out.

And then within 12 hours, you say yes, which I assume is coming from you personally, which is always very nice. Yes, of course, because I love it, and it's so fun, and you always have awesome, amazing people on it, and I love to hang. Wonderful. Well, let's get to your career.

Sure. And turn the spotlight away from me. It's a strong word for it, but. Let's talk about, first of all, I mentioned wet day, Hacks comes out on wet day. And what could that, what is that? It's a holiday, of course. It's not national yet, but we're trying to make it

national holiday, it's April 10th. So it lands squarely on wet day. Is there going to be any sort of nod to that in the show? Or are you going to be drenched at any point in the premiere? Wet day is a holiday for being moist? Yeah, where people get as wet as they can possibly be. And where's this coming from, I wonder? Well, we, I'm, Paul F. Tompkins and I created it maybe four years ago.

Oh my God! And we celebrate it every year and we're trying to get- Wet day. Yes, wet day. So I believe the reasoning behind it is people get drenched in practical jokes on April 1st, and then they have nine days to dry off, and then they want to be wet again. Oh my God, I love that. You know, I will run it up the corporate ladder. Please.

I'll see if we can do kind of an activation around that. That would be really great. Yes, do some reshoots too for the premiere. We'll go back and we'll get a little nod in there. That's great. To hacks this year, of course, we all saw season three where it ended with, what's her name, Deborah. Yeah.

Doing the unthinkable and not giving you the job that you wanted. But still keeping you on staff. Yeah. And then you turning around and blackmailing her ass. Get her ass, Ava. Yeah. And you're now the head writer on her late night show.

So I presume this season takes place within the late night wars. That's right. That's right. We've got cue cards. We've got ped cams. Cue card fans, you're covered. You are being served. Okay. Representation matters and we are here for you. I mean, the amount of cue cards in this fucking season. Really? Two? More.

More? Three? More. A lot of get, you know, we could do some montages. I don't want to, you know, spoil anything, but the cue cards are heavily featured. You could do montages. really? So it's like- Your time is now. Deborah giving the monologue and then cutting to the cue card guy just like- It's Ava going, no, no, no.

We're gonna change that because we had a rewrite on it. Oh, sorry, you gotta make that bigger. It's just like kind of cue card business. We got a lot of that. Did you have to do any research in like how to be a late night writer on this? Did you like shadow the writers at SNL for- Oh God, I didn't. Yeah. I didn't. Just pretty much read the lines. late night writer on this? Did you like shadow the writers at SNL? Oh god I

didn't. Yeah. I didn't. I just pretty much read the lines. I did yeah I would memorize the lines and say them aloud that's kind of my... That's your stock in trade. Yeah. If you're if you're hiring a Hanan by Nderper, she's gonna read those lines. You're gonna memorize them the day of or the day before? Oh I actually in all seriousness I actually do try to be off book for the entire week. I believe that we talked about this on your last appearance. Don't you try to kind of, when you get the scripts for the entire season,

you just try to like... I try to go through, because you know what? It's just, you know, the shooting schedule is pretty tough on my body. I'm fragile. Really? In what manner? Like you have to get up early at the end or...? Well, I would say, well, you know, I'm there five days a week and typically the days are like a job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is tough, obviously on the spirit and soul as a, you know, capitalism hopefully is on its way out and that'll go with it. Thankfully, that would be so great where like you could just show up to your acting job and get the wage that everyone else gets. Yeah, of course. And stand in line for the bread on the weekends. Yes. Well, you know, And stand in line for the bread. Yeah, of course. On the weekends. Yes, well, you know, it's 13 hours pretty much.

That's the part that people don't know about is shooting. There's this phrase that I came up with when it comes to shooting television and film. And it's hurry up and also wait. Yes. And it takes a long time and you're sitting around and not just sitting around, if it's a fast moving crew, you're shooting a lot.

How many pages you do in a day? Oh my God, who could even know? I mean, we're all over the place. We're episode three, episode four, episode six. So you block shoot. Sometimes. Do you have different directors coming in like at different points in the day

because they're doing episodes or do you try, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes, but typically it's just Paul and Lucia. Oh, they're directing most of the season. They direct most of the season, and then we'll have like a guest director. Who's doing it this year? Martin Scorsese.

I don't know if they've announced it yet, actually. Oh, really? Okay. I'd love to break it on the show, so go ahead. You would? Okay. Yeah, I don't know if it's... Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, it's fine. Okay. Oh, okay.

Apparently Hannah is giving me the slashing her throat signal saying she can't do it. Apparently she'll go against her people by being on this show, but that's as far as it goes. So does the entire season kind of take place in this? I mean, at this point, you started off as in the series, you started off as a lowly comedy writer who couldn't get a job. And then now you're at the top of your profession. You're the head writer of a late night show.

Is that just the first episode and then the show gets canceled or does the whole season take place? Well, yeah, there is an adversarial sort of dynamic at play between Ava and Deborah throughout a good chunk of the season. So that's, that's because you guys have been adversaries in some seasons, you've been tighter than tight and others, and it looked like you were the tightest at the end of

season three, and then she pulled the old switcheroo. She did. She, she absolutely betrayed me and, and, me and there will be big hell to pay. Really? And don't take the insecurity in my voice for any sort of that, it's gonna be, that's how I mean it. Do you ever raise your voice to her?

You know, I do, which is hard for me because I'm pretty much, I have one. You're pretty chill. Yeah, that's kind of my vibe. Callie, Callie running through my veins. Speaking of which, I want to get to, we've talked about Hacks Enough. Yeah.

It's out on April 10th. I want to talk about your Wikipedia page. Uh-oh. Because we have, of course, the aforementioned bachelor, or do you call it a bachelorette of fine arts when you've gotten it? How dare you? How fucking dare you?

We have a website that I clicked on, hannaheinbinder.com. There is one section, home, and there are approximately four pictures on it. I think back in my early days when I had a bunch of shows around town and touring dates, I needed a domain. And my dad was an early Apple nerd, and so he would go to Macworld and his email, I can't say it, but it's pretty simple. It's one of the simple at mac.com emails that- Really? Like gym at mac.com or whatever it is? I wouldn't go that far, but it's in that range. Because I'm not seeing his name on your.

Oh, here it is. Yes, I got it. He made that website for me very, very young. So I mean, the pictures are gorgeous. Not that anyone's going to take hannaheinbinder.com, but. Make sure you reserve that. We also have, okay. So I'm going to skip down to personal life.

Uh-oh. There's three things. Okay. No, sorry, four. Four things. Oh. You reside in Los Angeles, California. That's a fact, and I hope to die here. Not specific enough for me.

Yeah, reside is a problem? No, reside is good, because I love to hear that you reside somewhere, that you're not just living somewhere. Yeah. I can't help but reside, actually. That's a problem. Los Angeles is too big. Like I need to narrow this down.

Well, I for my safety would hope that you wouldn't. Oh, okay. All right. I don't want anyone to know. I'm binder as bisexual. Yeah, it's too personal. That should be under like too personal of a life. I don't think so.

I disagree. You think that should be out there? Yeah, let my freak flag fly. All right. You have ADHD. No doubt. No doubt. So all of these are ones, let my freak flag fly. All right, you have ADHD. No doubt. No doubt. So all of these are ones about where you live,

ones about your- How I live. How you live, and ones about what is in the way of you living. And then, I'm not sure if this is really equitable to the other three, but you are a longtime supporter of the Philadelphia Eagles. That is important.

That's very important, so that belongs up there. This is actually a really incredible picture of kind of my vibe, I think. Tell me about the Super Bowl this year. What were you doing? Oh my God. How excited were you what was going on? Thank you for asking this question.

No other podcast is gonna ask you about this. No they're not, and I'm here to, this is why I say yes when they say don't do it. I wanna hear everything by the way, like leading up to it, the anticipation. Oh yeah, I've got a story for you. So my dad and I, there's a bar that we frequent in Santa Monica.

By the way, can I interject one second? Yeah. Why do you like the Eagle so much? Well. Because you're from Los Angeles. I am. We've established that. You went to college, your page says Chapman University

in Orange County. Go Panthers. Mm-hmm. Do you want to, ah! Okay, sorry. Okay, says Chapman University in Orange County. Go Panthers. Do you want to? Okay. Okay, some Chapman fans in the house. Some Panthers in the house. I went to a concert there once. You did?

Go ahead. What did you see? I believe the Vandals played there. Oh. Punk band. Anyway, go ahead. So my dad's from Philly and my dad had a very strong connection to the Eagles through his father and really that's really all sports are is just wanting to be near your dad and

watching him go through a full specter of emotions. That's kind of what that's about. Because dads traditionally don't go through many emotions. Yeah, but this is a setting where, I mean, you just can't imagine. 2018 we did this, something similar to what we did this year when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. And my dad at one point was crying and did point to the sky and say, this one's for you, dad.

So that is what happened and that's true about what happened. And I think that that sums up why I'm invested. Yeah. So this is a way to connect to your father. I love that. For sure. Do you guys go to games together, or have you ever been to a game together? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Well, we grew up, I grew up going to games in Philly.

My dad's dad had season tickets, and they've been passed down. They're kinda like high up there, but they've been passed down, and we don't live in Philly, so they went to, you know, my cousin's over there. And so whenever we would go back, we would, we would, uh, at the, um, at the link, um, Lincoln financial, um, you're like, I believe you, I have no choice, but

to believe you take your word for it. Balt face lying to me. Yeah. But, um, but yeah, so, so this year we went to our favorite Eagles bar, which is a very strict green only environment. Okay, so if you were to come in, I forget who they played this year, but, oh, the Kansas City Chiefs.

Yeah, the look on Taylor Swift's face when her man lost. You can see her calculating how much longer do I stay in this relationship. Well, she's from Philly. She's from Philly, what a traitorous. I know, I can't believe it. Traitorous. Yeah.

So if you were to come in in Kansas City colors, which I believe are red and maybe yellow or something to that effect, or like wielding a tomahawk, why is that team still? I don't know how they. Anyway, but if you were to come into that bar doing that, you would get, what would happen? You can't come in.

They wouldn't even allow you. You're turned away, yes. Wow. Yeah, you're turned away. And this is in Los Angeles. Santa Monica, California. There's a bar for like everything. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Eagles fans, a lot of Philly fans in California, especially because, you know, LA, we didn't have a sports football team for many years. So people had to kind of just pick. Right, right, okay. And so the bar opened at 10, we got there at eight. Is there a line?

Why, like? There started a line when we got there, and we got there at eight, and to get in on Super Bowl Sunday, you had to have come two days prior to get passes. Oh, okay. It's a small bar. So let me ask you, the passes guaranteed entry.

Yes. So why come two hours early to get a good seat? Good table. Good table. Gotta get that good table upstairs. Is it just the two of you? Just the two of us. Okay, so you want a two-top.

We want a two, well, we want a two-top, but we're happy to make friends, and we always do. Let me tell you something, by the end of the night, I was in a group chat with a family. Okay? Okay, I heard their whole story. Okay, the girls are texting me, okay, three kids, they're all queer, their dad was a pastor.

He left the church because the church didn't accept his kids and moved him out to LA. I said, yeah, let's be in a group chat. Yes, I love this. Text me, here's my number. This is how available you are to the people out there in these streets. 100%.

So we line up at eight. We get in at 10. The game doesn't start till 3.30. But you want to see the anthem. Look, you know, we get in there, we're seated, we're fucking exhausted already. We walk in, we're just so weak. This is like a full day of shooting on hacks.

No, I'm telling you. You know, first of all, it's grueling work for all involved. Well, first of all, to stand up in a line for two hours, I don't even like that part of it. You know what I mean? I'm in a damn Eagles poncho. I've been pacing Santa Monica.

Wait, was it raining that day? I can't recall. It wasn't raining. Okay, I want all the details. Yeah. It wasn't raining, but you know, we're by the beach, so we got that marine layer. There's a chill. Got it.

There's a chill in the air. Okay, this is good intel. Crisp sea chill. Okay. And so we get in there and we're, you know, look, chicken fingers in the morning. That's what they got. I mean, I can't imagine they would serve

any kind of breakfast food, so. No, no, absolutely not. So chicken fingers, that's great. And you know, people start to trickle in. There's a table next to us. So chicken fingers, that's great. And you know, people start to trickle in. There's a table next to us. So there was no line. Nope. People are now trickling in.

Well, here's the thing about my father and thus me. We are, uh, always prepared for battle kind of like the airport is a battle ground. The bar is a battle ground. Like we are planners and we are, all right, look, we got to get there 645. Like 645 early is, that's my dad is super. That's my Reco. We get there 645, we spread out. Look, so we're early.

I'd rather be early than late. We need to get that table. Cause look, the back support for a game like this, I mean, we're in it for the long haul. So what are we doing? Is there a world where you could have breezed in at 330 and, uh, still gotten in and gotten an okay table. God, I wish this podcast was video.

You should see the look I'm getting. You are befuddled by this question. You're, you're aghast. You're horrified at the mere intimation that you would come that close to the game. 330. We're going to miss all the commentary. What are you thinking, Scott? Get your close to the game? 3.30. We're gonna miss all the commentary. What are you thinking, Scott? Get your head in the fucking game.

Was the commentary really worth it when you were watching? Like, was it good commentary? Like, did it prepare you? I wanna watch both teams warm up. I wanna watch all the old footballers who are now the announcers do the tush push in the middle of New Orleans. I wanna watch all of that.

I need all of that. I need the pregame. And this game was really symbolically this game. And I have a theory about this. The world has never been worse, Scott. I don't have to tell you that. I mean, I think there are certain pockets of the word. I mean, they only invented indoor plumbing

100 or so years ago. Yes, but I would say that the issue of climate change has accelerated the state of the world to arguably have never been worse. But I think the years where the dinosaurs and the humans were there together right after Adam and Eve, those were probably bad for humans too.

I would say they were, okay, so let's say, let's say. The world is what, like 3,000 years old? Yeah, let's talk after the pod. Okay, I'd love to. I wanna talk to you about some stuff. I'd love to, I have some literature for you too. Okay, okay, yeah, me too, likewise. Okay, great.

Likewise, same. We'll just like point literature at each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'll fix it, that's typically how it works, and that's how people people grow but yeah, so how do we get there? Anyway, anyway the culture I think is that is it a beautiful Point in response to how horrifying the world is and frankly, you know So many of the Kansas City Chiefs players have let us down in this time, you know, the Kansas City Chiefs players Patrick Mahomes, that's the quarterback. He was saying that he would be pleased to have President Trump come and watch him play football.

Travis Kelsey, frankly, said the same. And so this was spiritually, this game was symbolized kind of, look, I'll say, a good eagle. This is a war of ideologies, good over evil. Absolutely, yeah. Absolutely. And to you, the Philadelphia Eagles are good. You're damn right. By the way, in 2018 and this year, during both of Trump's presidencies, the Philadelphia

Eagles have declined to appear at the White House. I believe they agreed to go this time. No. I believe so. I'm going to look this up. I hate to throw you off your game, but- No, you got to look this up. I believe I saw a headline about that, but-

Did you? Because I saw one that said that they declined to go. That was early, but well, I see one week ago, date for Philadelphia Eagles visit to White House after Super Bowl. No. LIX, what the fuck is this?

59? 50. 59. Yeah, 59, yeah. We're 10 away. What news source is this? This is CBS News, so I don't know whether I trust the mainstream media on this.

Okay, well. What do we need to go to, thephiladelphiaeagles.com? We need to go to call my dad and see what's up. Call, call. Maybe, is there any universe where he's been keeping this information from you? Definitely. Yeah. I'm his? Definitely. Yeah.

I'm his baby girl. Yeah. He needs to protect me. He wants to protect you, of course, yes. Okay, well that's really disappointing and I don't stand with that. Maybe they're not all going. I have to imagine they're not all going.

There's bad apples in every barrel. Of course, look. The point is that they declined in 2018, which I'm stoked about. This I am disappointed about and I will be reaching out to, you know, whoever I can. Sure. Through HBO. Yes. Yes.

Through Warner Brothers. I'll walk up the max ladder and ring the bell. Yes. But the point is, you know, this was a blowout. This was a blowout victory for the birds. The first three plays, weren't they like interceptions and running back for touchdown? I don't remember. It was ludicrous. We just, you know, left and right. The first three plays, weren't they like Interceptions and Running Back for Touchdown?

I don't remember. It was ludicrous. We just left and right. Wasn't it like 183 to nothing at one point? Well, the final score I believe was 41 to 22. So close. Yeah, and that's like really outrageous. So it was a great...

It was a trouncing. Yes. And you were, it was a great, it was a great. It was a trouncing. Yes. And you were, you were there where you like, I would imagine a cheer came out of your lips at least once. Oh, I'm screaming. I'm absolutely sending out blood curdling screams. I'm chest bumping a man. I don't know.

I'm swirling beads in the air. I'm, you know, cheering on someone's mom who's gotten on the pool table, who's kind of, you know, ripping her jersey off and twirling it in the air. I'm cheering on someone's mom who's gotten on the pool table, who's kind of ripping her jersey off and twirling it around her head. I mean, it's mayhem, it's absolute mayhem. I love this. And these are special times with your father.

Absolutely. I love that. Undoubtedly so. Now, do you agree with me? Yes. I was talking about this, I'm glad. I was talking about this on a previous episode where the part where the guy takes the football,

this is at the start of each play. And then he's forced to like throw it through his legs while he's bending over. That's emasculating, right? He should just turn around and throw it to the quarterback, right? I think this brings up a larger question of what masculinity is to you, Scott. That's a good point. But I just, I think a sport where like it doesn't, it doesn't start until a guy just like

bends over and throws something through his legs granny style. Well, you know, Jenny Slate actually has a really great joke about this where she says, she's in the one timers club. She's in the one time. Well, look, I can't relate. Can't relate. Couldn't be me. I'm here for the third time. Yeah, and I chose to do that. But she says like they all wear a costume and throw around the toy, which I think is funny. Yeah, so it definitely is like a silly game. It's silly. And I think, I also think that the quarterback, if I were to change the rules,

the quarterback should throw to the end zone every play, should be forced to. Like all or nothing, every single time. Okay, I mean, yeah, that's why I... It sounds like heresy to you. You're shocked. You don't like it, you like the game as it is. I like plays, I like creative plays,

I like a handoff, I like a little sneak, I like, you know, get the ball to Saquon, he's gonna do a little bit of weaving, you know what I mean? I think it you know, get the ball to say, Quon, he's gonna do a little bit of weaving. You know what I mean? I think it's okay to hand the ball off to someone as long as if they don't make it into the end zone, then the game is forfeit.

Okay, so yeah, it's just maybe not your, maybe you'll stick to like this sort of a thing and- I wanna start my own league, is what I'm saying. I need investors. Oh yeah? Yeah. Good luck, good luck. Okay, great. I wish you luck. Thank you so much. Well, Hacks, of course, is out on wet day. We all know what this means. We need to take a break. We have a great show coming up a little later. You're going to be very invested in this. We have a football coach is coming up next. Yes.

Oh, my God. We have a football coach. We also have a business woman, or a business person. Oh my God, two people who make the world go round. This is exciting. This is a great episode of Comedy Bang Bang. I'm so happy you're here for it. We're gonna be right back with more Hanan Binder, and we have a coach, and we have a business woman.

This is a great show, stick around. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang after this. No, no, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we are back, of course, we're here with Hennie.

Einbinder. Einbinder. Einwinder. Einbinder. Yeah. Of Hacks fame, Hacks is coming out on wet day, April 10th. And you also, you got to be on that Saturday Night Live show

introducing the band, right? Didn't you? Did I see you there? Ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll. Yeah, I'm actually not of Hacks fame. I'm of ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll fame. Do you ever say that when you go out to breakfast and- I'll say it in the mirror, late at night.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll fame. Do you ever say that when you go out to breakfast and- I'll say it in the mirror late at night. Ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll. It's, I don't know if you're a Jelly Roll fan or- I wish him well is how I feel. Yes, that's how I feel too. It's like, God bless whatever it is you do. Yeah.

But do you ever wish that you could have gotten someone you really loved or- You know what I'm saying? Like where you, or do you wish that you could have gotten someone you really loved, or, you know what I'm saying? Like where you, or do you wish that you got The Weeknd, and that way you could have been like Daniel Craig, who's like every Friday people post him saying, ladies and gentlemen, The Weeknd. Wow.

Or perhaps ladies and gentlemen, her. Her, yes. You know, no, I actually want it to have been Jelly Roll. Actually. It's always funny when someone is introducing a band that they would never, like when Patrick Stewart was there saying, ladies and gentlemen, salt and pepper. Was my favorite.

Yeah, that's a good one. Something they would never say. Anyway, that's a wonderful thing to have happened. It was cute. Yeah, that's a good one. Something they would never say. Anyway, that's a wonderful thing to have happened. It was cute. Yeah, you should host next time. You're sweet. I mean the next episode, whatever the next episode is. I'll go, I'll drive there now.

Yeah, so what is it, a five day trip? Yeah, whatever. Drive there, go on there, do that. Sure. No problem. Well, we need to get to our next guest. I mentioned he is a football coach. This is his second appearance. He's in the two-timers club,

which means his career is doing slightly better than Hannes. Let's welcome him back. He was a player for the Dallas Cowboys where he won eight Super Bowls. Please welcome Dion Sanders. Scott, let me ask you something. Let me tell you something, Scott. What's up?

I don't know what you came to do, but I came to have some fun today. Scott, let me ask you something. Let me tell you something, Scott. Yeah, what's up? I don't know what you came to do, but I came to have some fun today, Scott. Okay, great. I thought you came to find dogs. And I came to do that too. I was gonna tell you that. I came to clap my hands. I came to stomp my feet.

And I came to find some dogs. Because I need dogs, Scott. You haven't done any of the three at this point. I see some dogs in here, Scott. Hannah, are you a dog? Did you hear our first segment? Hannah was talking a lot about football. Scott, I heard a little bit of,

I heard a little bit of, so you didn't like saying ladies, gentlemen, jelly roll? I did, actually, I think. You did like doing that? I think her boy was, it was great. Yeah, I did, I kinda liked it. I think you have the exact wrong takeaway. You know what you should have said?

Ladies and gentlemen, Shaboosie. Oh my god, wouldn't have that been fabulous. Deion Sanders is a big fan of Shaboosie. Shout out to Shaboosie, man, that's my dog. Can I tell you actually, and this is serious, Mr. Sanders, I... Call me Mr. Sanders. Okay, no problem. And you join a long line of Mr. Sanders that I just frankly love. Sure, the Colonel? Oh, you would call him Colonel. Okay, no problem. And you join a long line of Mr. Sanderses that I just frankly love.

Sure, the Colonel? So I have to, yes. Oh, you would call him Colonel. I would probably put Bernie before the Colonel, but yeah. They're equitable to me. They're about equal. Yeah, look, they're similar. Old guys, white hair. Yeah, they're equal to me.

White suits, little black ribbon ties. Shaboosie actually, his first music video, when I was in college, a bunch of kids at my film school produced it and I was the girl in his first music video. You're kidding, you're in the first Shaboosie video? Yes! This is huge news! It was taken down because he illegally sampled something that he didn't have the rights to

and so it was taken down, but we saw each other recently at a party and we were like, ah! Really? You saw Shaboosie at a party? You were the first Shaboosie video Vixen. That's right. Wowee. Well, I tell you, he's got a look at it.

Won't he do it, Scott? Yeah. What did you just say? I said, won't he do it? Won't he do it, yes. I'm talking about Colonel Sanders in the sky. Of course. You like those seven spices?

Seven, seven plus five. No, seven plus four. Is it 11, really? It's 11 original urgent spices? It's really did start out as 11 or did he add for at a certain point? Well, am I wrong? I have no idea and can we while we're at it discussed how many are in dr. Pepper because I know that that's also sort of a 56 23 23 and that's prunes right it starts off Prunes are you serious? I think it's the only prune soda You're kidding me. Prunes keep it regular. Make sure you eat your prunes Hannah.

Okay. KFC how many spices 11 herbs. 11. Maybe I'm just thinking of the spice number because this is 11 herbs and spices so I wasn't wrong. Sure. Let's name them. In order of importance. No they keep them, salt, it's gotta be salt. Salt. Pepper. That's the majority. Garlic. Garlic.

Paprika. Paprika. Onion. Onion. Cardamom. Cardamom. Crossbeak, Steels, Nash. Hall, oats.

Dion, I'm sorry, Coach Sanders or Colonel Sanders, which do you prefer? Please, call me Mr. Sanders. Mr. Sanders. Last time you were on, you were talking about you coach a college football team that your son- Colorado Buffalos, we coming, Scott. I need dogs. You do need some dogs,

because you were saying your son is leaving the team? He leaving the team, he going to the NFL. He's going to the, who's he playing for? We don't know yet. Congrats. Do you hope he plays for the Philadelphia Eagles? I do not, Scott. Who do Who's he playing for? We don't know yet. Congrats. Do you hope he plays for the Philadelphia Eagles? I do not, Scott. Who do you hope he plays for?

Oh, we play for New Orleans Saints, Scott. I like that city, New Orleans, Scott. Okay, but what about the Dallas Cowboys, because that's where you made your fame and fortune? Eh, not necessarily. Wasn't there some sort of rumor that you were going to go coach at Dallas? Scott, there's a lot of rumors. Look at all these rumors surrounding me every day. I just need some time.

Some time to get away. Get a way. Some time to make social class. What do you do for you, Mr. Sanders? What do I do for me? I'll tell you, Anna, I watch a lot of television. And that's what I wanted to talk to Scott about today. Scott.

Oh, okay, great. You've seen this show, Emily in Paris. Do you mean Emily in Paris? Yeah, whatever you wanna call it. It's supposed to rhyme, I believe. Emily in Paris. Do you mean Emily in Paris? Yeah, whatever you want to call it. It's supposed to rhyme, I believe. Emily in Paris. You seen that, Scott? I have to confess I have not.

I'm a big fan of Lily Collin's father, which doesn't know... I mean, Hannah, you of course, nepo baby, a polter child. Am I? I think so. Okay. A great piece of advice. I mean, your mother worked for Saturday Night Live. You, uh, said ladies and gentlemen, jelly roll. Yeah, that is the, the, the ratio of power actually.

That's like, that is actually how much transfer down to you. Yeah. Of, of what have my poll, but, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Lily Collins, of course, big fan of her father, Phil Collins. Her father, Macaulay Collins? Oh, wait, that's Phil Collins' daughter? That's Phil Collins' daughter, yes. Man, I can feel that in the air tonight. I did not know that. It's time to make social. It's time to make social club.

Look at all this air surrounding me every night. I can feel it. So you're a big fan of Emily and Pauly? Man, come on Scott. She go over there, she got that damn beret on her head. I was like, girl, what you doing in Paris? Come back over here, because I need dogs. Is that the first scene?

Wait, you want her to come back here because you need dogs? Come back to America, because I need some dogs. And I can see how you wearing a beret in Paris, and you a dog. Shout out to Jelly Roll, man. I don't even know what the, she's American and goes over there and then lives there? How is this the plot to a show?

She American, she American fashion writer, you know? She writes for fashion, you know, what she do? She don't do that? Who knows? It's all speculation. She do something and they take over the parents to do it over there. Is this what shows are now?

Hacks, this is a good idea for a show. Thank you. It's a standup comedian who, I don't know, go into the details. See, just like that. Can I suggest a name change to Hacks? Let's hear it. Let's call it dogs.

Yes, honestly, that's a suggestion. Ladies and gentlemen, once again, Jelly Roll. Couple dogs right there. That's a good episode right there. Yeah, Gene Smart and Jelly Roll. I would love, the two J's, I love that. They should do more stuff. You and Shaboosie, Gene Smart, Jelly Roll.

This is like a good foursome. This is a music festival in Tucson. Yes, this is what South by Southwest needs to evolve into. They're coming their second weekend, of course, coming the music out. And they added luggage fees. Is that so? Bags don't fly free no more on South by Southwest,

I tell you that. Yeah. Any other shows you're watching? Yeah, Scott, come on now. You ever heard of this fabulous, fabulous Miss Maisel? There's a show about comedy too. You all should check that one out. Yeah, Hacks is sort of the spiritual successor, right?

To the fabulous Mrs. Maisel. Oh certainly. Oh undoubtedly so. She paved the way. Mrs. Maisel walked so Brent, what's her name? So Deborah Vance. Deborah Vance could run. Could drive a golf cart.

A lot of golf carts in your show, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, there was that episode last season. Golf. Did you get busy with, who was it? Oh, you get busy on the show? I did, yeah. Oh, this season is really...

Really? You have more... I have more... Sexual interactions on the show? It's true, it's true. Oh, I love this. Yeah. Who was it the last time with the... It was Christina Hendricks.

Christina Hendricks, that's for mad men. Yeah, this is my last life for sure. I'm not coming back. Two redheads. Yeah, that's what they say. Yeah, exciting. Now, was there intimacy coordinator for that? There was.

Because I would like to apply for the job. You can do this on the side, right? Intimacy coordinator. By the way, you have as much qualifications as most, to be so frank. All right now, okay. Don't nobody be touching nobody without wanting to be touched. You got that? You asked for every touch.

In the scene. In the scene. We're going to do a little improv. That's what people doing love scenes love to hear. We're going to do a little improv. That's what people doing love scenes love to hear, is we're gonna do a little improv. We're gonna do a little improv. We're gonna do a little improv. A little improv. Okay, robes off, girl.

Robes off, lady, let's go. Robes off. Somebody grab that baby all over there. All right, don't nobody touch nobody when they don't wanna be touched, all right? You got that? Okay. This is good. Action. You booked.

You got it. Okay, action, really? That's the extent of it. I don't know where to get it to. The director's like, can we get him? Sorry. Can I say action? Is that possible? I mean, this is a good job. Do you only want to do it for Christina Hendrix and Hannah here? Don't make me a creep, Scott. I'm gonna do it for a lot of people, man. Emily in Paris. Whenever he's needed, he'll be there.

That's right. We'll just shine the Dion Sanders signal. Just in the shape of a dog. In a dog. Uh-oh, somebody needs some intimacy coordination. This needs to turn into a cartoon. What other TV shows you've been watching? Oh, man, A Fabulous Miss Maisel.

Emily in Paris. You watched that show, The Pit? I have not seen The Pit. I thought it was about Brad Pitt for a while. I thought it was about dogs. So we were both wrong though. It turns out it's Noah Wiley, from what I'm hearing from the lawsuits was originally intended to be an ER reboot. Yeah. And then segwayed into nothing to do with ER at all,

once they couldn't get the right. It's about a hospital, man. Them doctors is dogs in there. Yeah. They're healing people, Scott. Cause today, in today's world, we need healing. Yes. We need hospitals.

Yes. So true. Scott, do you believe in universal healthcare? I don't know that my views on it would be earth-shattering at all, so why don't we just ask your views? I believe in universal health care, international health care, intergalactic health care. Intergalactic. You see these people come back from earth? Yes. I mean, come back to earth? Yes. Like the people trapped up in the NASA space station and all that? Nine months, they finally home. Yes. Like the people trapped up in the NASA space station. Nine months, they finally home.

Yeah. Bring our dogs home. There are, their muscles, their muscle tone is withered. Yeah. They're emaciated. We'll put them on a meal plan, get them back, get them back right. Yeah.

And they'll be ready for next year. And this is part of universal intergalactic healthcare to you. What were you saying, huh? Well, I'll just, thank you, Scott. Well, I was just saying that they may be puppies now, but when we're through. They're going to be dogs. That's right. You know what I'm talking about. I like you. Are you trying to get into acting? I mean, who? You, Deon. I'm not talking about, Hannah's already there. I've been busy and stuff. Yeah, where were you in?

On the episode of Living Single. Playing yourself? Playing myself. Okay, that's already there. I done been to some stuff. Yeah, where were you at? On an episode of Living Single. Playing yourself? Playing myself, man. Okay, that doesn't count. Playing yourself doesn't count. No, I was a heightened version of myself. I like herb your enthusiasm. Yeah.

What else, have you ever played a character? Me. I am talking to you right now. I haven't heard it, I played me. Oh, you played you, okay. Yeah, some people consider me a character. Yeah. I think it's hard when you have a body like yours

and you're so tall and so big, you know? It was the problem the Rock had for a long time, you know, and the problem Kumail has now. Yeah, too sexy. Too sexy. Too damn sexy for television. Yeah, that's the thing. You can't play like a normal schlub, you know?

Like Hannah over here, she's playing like a comedy writer who can't get work, you know? Yeah. I can't imagine De schlub, you know? Like Hannah over here, she's playing like a comedy writer who can't get work, you know? I can't imagine Dion Sanders here, you know? Of course. Believing that from you, because I would just say, oh, just go play football. You know what, I could play a comedy writer on television.

Yeah, for sure. Let's improvise a scene as comedy writers. Oh, great. Hey, hey, did you get the rewrites for the monologue tonight? I got the rewrites, all right? I got the rewrites. But what I need to know is what we're having for lunch today. Oh, we... I don't want no more salad.

Okay, well I was going to say I think it's sweet green. Again? Yeah, we have a deadline so I was just wondering if you... We're always eating sweet green. Yeah. I want barbecue. We could, I mean I guess we could look into that but I just, yeah, I think maybe, do you know if there's going to be a chance for you to look at the at the rewrites? I got them. They on my desk. Oh okay great. But I want some barbecue. Okay,

I'm just gonna stop it right here. First of all, sub in Al Wazir and this is exactly Mr. Show every single day. But, uh, Dion, you're in a position of power, it seems, over Hannah's character. I think, I think he's an eccentric employee. And I see. But why do you need him to check the rewrites then if you're. Cause I assigned them to him. For him to check them or for him to, What is he doing with these rewrites? Yeah, he's sort of punching them up. Punching them up. Oh, okay. You got a cadillac disease, guys. Say action. Okay, action.

Okay. Did you get a chance to punch up the rewrites that I sent you? Hey, what are you and Christina Hendrix doing in there? All right, cut, cut, cut. All right, cut, cut, cut. Okay, I don't know. It is pretty much like being in a writer's room, to be honest. That's the accuracy. We got Sweetgreen. We got harassment.

We got somebody doing their job wrong. We got it all. 99% accuracy in regards. Scott, we haven't gotten to the rewrites yet. I want to talk about the rewrites. Okay, you want to talk about the rewrites? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, action.

Okay, so yeah, for the monologue, I was thinking that perhaps we went in a different direction away from talking about, you know, the story with the Swiss banks, just because I think that a lot of people are going to be covering that. So I was just wondering if you had anything, anything there or maybe perhaps a pitch on a different topic that could be kind of more international absolutely

Yeah, I do have that more international. Yeah international health care. Oh, I want to talk about that Okay. Yeah, Swiss banks is in Swiss right? Interpol is in Sweden. Okay, okay, you pick it up weapon down. I'll take your word for it. All right It's the barbecue. I'm gonna see you Excuse me, I hate to interrupt but the show goes live in 30 seconds. Do we do we have the rewrites or You know, we need to switch it to the international, you know, do we have any of this? Oh, we Just a PA. Oh, okay. I do, we do, we do.

Who's in charge here? I can't quite figure it out. How can you not tell who is in charge? Clearly, this woman is my boss. You seem subservient to him. Yeah. But maybe it's just your tone? Yeah.

I don't know. Tell him you're my boss. Tell him you're my boss. Okay, well, I'm... Speak up. Sorry. I'm his... We collaborate.

I'm his... You collaborate, I'm his... You collaborate? Yeah, well I just, I'm kind of like... Are you in a position of power here? Is Christina Hendricks coming to the show tonight? I'm really scared, and I just feel like we're gonna be live soon. We're on, we're on!

Ladies and gentlemen, Shaboos. Great scene, wow. Okay, yeah, I think this is good. I think it's great. Can you guys tell? I think Dion can be on Hacks. A hundred percent. Just playing a normal comedy writer. Who's very concerned with eating barbecue. Like all comedy writers. You got to have good lunch. Alright, well, let's get Dion on Hacks. We need to start a hashtag, Dion on Hacks. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we have a business person.

This is very exciting. Dion, can you stick around? Scott, I got to go. You got to go? No, come on, stick around, please. No, I gotta stay. All right, we're gonna come right back. We'll have more Hannah Einbinder, more Dion Sanders,

and a businesswoman. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

We have Hannah Einbinder here of Hacks, which of course I get a Google alert every day for Hacks because I'm wondering if I'm popping up on the latest list of Hollywood hacks. Oh my God. But it starts the fourth season on wet day, which is a Thursday this year. Wet day falls on a Thursday. Shoot. Damn it. What's going on in your head?

You're gonna be too wet on Friday? You're like drying off? You'd just like to be wet on a weekend is all. Yeah, that's a good point. You'd like to, if you were being to be wet, you'd like for it to be on the weekend. Those holidays that fall on the weekends though, then it feels like you're getting ripped off because you know like when fourth of July is on a weekend you're like I really would

rather this be on Monday or Friday so I get a three-day weekend. Yeah but I mean has wet day broken through in that way? It's not officially recognized but it's storming the nation. Pun intended! Rainstorm. We also have Dion Sanders here, who... Ladies and gentlemen, wet on the weekend. LAUGHS

We need to get to our next guest. This is exciting. They're joining the incredible One Timers Club. Please welcome to the show, they're a business woman, please welcome Abbey Spot. Hi, wow. Hi. I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I'm so happy, I'm really happy to be here.

I feel just like an immediate connection with you, Mr. Sanders. Oh, all right now. I'm just really picking up what you're putting down. Oh, okay, well it's great to have you. Yeah. When you say you don't normally do this kind of thing, what do you mean? Well, so I'm a psychic, but I-

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a businesswoman. Well, I'm looking for clients. Oh, okay. So you're- So I'm really here to promote my business. An unsuccessful businesswoman. No, I wouldn't say that.

I wouldn't say that. I would say- Do you currently have clients? Not one client, but I'm looking for clients. You're a future businesswoman. I wouldn't say that. Do you currently have clients? Not one client, but I'm looking for clients. You're a future businesswoman. I'm a future... Listen, I'm... Do you have an LLC? No. I don't have an LLC. Here's the thing with me. I'm so uncomfortable in this chair. You're uncomfortable in the chair? Yeah, I'm so uncomfortable in this chair. I wish that I could, like, I don't know, be under the table or around your feet, because I guess it's,

no, let me just tell you, I'm a little unusual just because for the past 11 lives, I've been a dog and this is my first year. I need dogs. This is my first life as a human. As a human, oh my gosh, congratulations. So I'm mostly a pet psychic, but I can also read people too,

but I just, it's different. Yeah. Things are different. Do you remember or recall being a dog? Honestly, that's mostly what I remember. Really? Yeah, I'm having a little bit of trouble transitioning as a human thing.

Yeah, what kind of dog were you in your past 11, you say? Uh-huh. Oh, that's the number of herbs and spices that KFC has. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I've had taste of that. Oh, that's a lucky dog. That's a true.

A lucky dog. Or a clumsy owner. I just was so attached to this idea of intimacy coordinator. Yeah, oh really? So was Dion. You guys are so bonkers up here. I mean, like, up on this level, because I'm telling you,

the asshole is really where all the data is. Yeah, that's where, I mean, also the pee, from what I understand, like, because dogs, when they go on their walks, they smell other dogs' pee to learn information about them. It's sort of like the Gossip magazine. It's like TMZ for dogs. 100%.

And so it's really uncomfortable when everybody closes the door. Yeah. Because I feel like I'm just missing so much. I don't really know how to, this is not about me as a human. I wanna read, I'm gonna give you guys all reading and really get to know you.

But to be honest, the psychic part of it is interesting. You could read us or whatever. I'm fascinated by learning what it's like to be a dog. Yeah. I need dogs. Oh, yeah. You're a human now, so therefore you are useless to me. What kind of dogs are you talking about? Dogs, man. So... This guy was a dog in another life. You have to be Dion. I mean, come on now. This guy was a dog in another life. I know for sure. You have to be Dion. I mean, come on now. This life too.

You're still in me. But the rules, the human rules of consent and all that, dogs don't have that. They just take what they want. No, I mean, kids now are like eating, we've been doing, we've been eating ass for years. We've mentioned it. I don't know, it's like, I'm not impressed.

But I am a little uncomfortable with so much arm skin and leg skin. It's like put on a coat. Yeah, yeah. You're cold. I put on a coat, it's just like, it feels a little vulgar. Yeah. Yeah.

Is that the main difference is the amount of arm skin? Well, leg too. Leg too, yeah. Sure. I mean, that's the other thing, you have arms now. I do have arms. I do have arms. Instead of four legs. What is that like?

It's, you know, a little clumsy, but listen, I'm not a dog. A lot further. Sorry. If I'm coming off crazy, like I'm not a dog. I'm a woman. Obviously, like I was reincarnated as a human. Sure. Yeah. How old of a woman are you currently? Well, I'm 30, but I feel like 210. You feel four, probably, four and a half. Cause it's seven years dog years.

Got you fooled. And it's so because I've been, I've been a- Thanks, Ziyan. I've been around, listen, I don't do math. Yeah, well, I went to math. I'm like in form and instinctual. Yeah, you're right. I gravitate.

Dogs don't do math, right? Like they just, they want all of everything, right? It's not like, oh, there's two chicken breasts. No, I want all of this. Infinite. No. I teach my dog portion control. Is that so? How do you do that? How do you, you just kind of lay it out? I don't know. That's all you're getting. Be satisfied. Oh, so you're determining the portions. You're not just putting out a large

tin of something and they're deciding how much they eat. That's not really teaching them anything. Now in terms of just, cause you know, not really teaching them anything. Now in terms of just cause you know, there was a business proposal brought up in terms of investing. Thank you. Yeah, I'm curious. I also have my business proposal, which you did not choose to invest in,

my different league for football. Hannah seems pretty interested in my idea. I don't remember, but I think it's possible. It was merely 40 minutes ago. Yeah, it's tough for me. Scott, do you have cats? When you live in my idea. I don't remember, but I think it's possible. It was merely 40 minutes ago. Yeah, it's tough for me. Scott, do you have cats? When you live in the moment. I do not.

I do not have cats, don't worry. I'm getting a cat vibe from you. Maybe I was a cat in a different life. I mean, people worshiped cats back in ancient Egypt. On tracks, actually. Well, they had dogs sleep in their bed. I don't know whether, Dion, do you have previous lives? I've never really investigated.

You know what, I ain't investigated either. I mind the business that pays me. So I don't know what I was doing back then, but I hope it was good. Oh, I can tell it was good. Okay. What are you seeing with Dion? Oh my God, I'm seeing a king.

Read me, read me to film. I'm seeing some sort of, I'm seeing some sort of big, big tree He was a tree or he I'm seeing he peed on a tree. Oh, a big tree. That's cool. I'm seeing a lot of fancy colors. I'm seeing a lot of bling. Was I a rock wild? Please tell me I was a rock wild. I think you were a huge rock wild. I think you're confusing the record label with. Please tell me I was a rock a fella. Rock nation. I know, I don't feel like I'm being a little vulgar and I'm not trying to be, but I'm having a hard time dating. I don't think that's vulgar at all. Actually,

you didn't say a curse word. I don't know if that's disgusting or not. Listen, I, when I was a dog, nobody just comes out and shows you their red rocket. And so I don't know whose interests. You're always a female dog? My last two. Oh, so your previous nine, you have the red rocket. Yeah.

Easy to show, easy to receive, easy to know. Right. Yeah, it's, I mean, honestly, it's hard. I think that's the other thing, if people acted more like dogs, dating would be easier. That's how I feel. Yeah.

And that's why I think my perspective on your lives could help so much. I think a dog, oh, I changed my business. I changed my business. I changed my business. You changed your, wait, this is unprecedented. You're changing your business in the middle of your segment? You know what? I think this is where I would shine.

I wanna be a dog dating advice service. Dog dating advice service. So you're giving advice to humans who wanna date dogs? No, the way of the dog. Okay, I've gotten this completely wrong. The way that dog, I use my knowledge of being a dog to help you guys date. Ah, so you're giving advice to humans

who want to date other humans, but do it. With the philosophy of a dog. With the philosophy of a dog. I love this. All right, so Hannah, are you out there in these streets? I'm single, I'm single. You're single. Yeah.

All right, so this is perfect. Yeah. So now we know you were a plant, you? I'm single. You're single? Yeah. All right. So this is perfect. So now we know you were a plant, you were a dog, you were a cat. Yeah. That answer sounded like, Scott, you about to get out in trouble. I'm single, but there's certainly a woman I'll be getting angry phone calls on after she hears this.

So this is good. This is really good. So what kind of advice would you give to Hannah who's out there in these streets night after night, searching for someone, anyone to love her? Lay it on thick, will ya? Okay, so first off, we gotta start sniffing each other. Okay, sniffing. Do you do that, Hannah, when you're out there on a date?

Oh, sense memory is very important. Sense memory. Yeah, well the nose is a direct channel to the brain. Of course. Occasionally you'll smell an aroma that will take you back decades even to something that happened to you as a young child. Absolutely.

And the heart is a direct channel to the stomach. And the eyes are a window to the soul. And the tongue is a door. Lick stuff. Licks, you lick us up with it. So the first thing would be to smell. So first thing to smell. Then I would go up, I think for most people it's all about the

asshole. That's where the data is, we've talked about that. Is this first date though? I mean, I know it is for dogs, but is this first date behavior? This is first date alone, obviously you're not going to do this. Can the asshole be symbolic? Is there a way to kind of explore that in a way that isn't as direct? Sure, sure.

You know what I mean? Like is there a way? The mouth. I guess you got kissing. The mouth of the face. The asshole of the face. Exactly. Sort of a reverse asshole. So I guess kissing.

Sometimes you're breasting. A whole ass, we call. Can I just really quickly break into say, you're telling me we have a big hole in our head and we put food in it. It's crazy when you think about it. Don't, like that's really crazy. And shouldn't it come out the same hole, like just for san- No!

Like, not sanity, sanitary purposes, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean that's what it is. Instead it's gotta go all the way down through our body and travel around and then go out a different hole. It's just, you're telling me we're putting Doritos in the face hole, and in what way was that ever the plan for us? I know.

It's driving me crazy, and I'm really trying to keep my sanity. That's not right. You guys are so consumed with that, though. Yeah. I don't think you should be as concerned about that. With eating? Don't give a shit about what they're putting in their mouth.

They eat shit. Yeah, they do. We'll throw up and we'll eat it right back up. Oh, don't. But also, do you think Shaboosie does that? Shaboosie don't do that man. There's no way. Shaboosie keep their mouth clean. I gotta know what you did in that music video. Were you rolling around on a car? You know what? He was in a fun 70s production designed school bus and he was a rock star and I was a journalist.

Oh, a journalist. A journalist. Did you ever like take off your glasses and shake your hair out? And I was like putting the mic towards him and writing stuff down, but I was being like hot about it. Wow. Yeah, and he was like, I'm Robert Plant.

I gotta check this out. I was like, I'm writing about you. This is incredible, and you saw him at a party and he was like, I'm Robert Plant. I gotta check this out. I was like, I'm writing about you. This is incredible, and you saw him at a party and he remembered you, I love this. I couldn't believe it, I said, do you remember me? Shaboosie, do you remember me? And he said, of course I remember you. Oh, I love this for Shaboosie.

And he gave me a big hug, he's so wonderful. Shout out to Shaboosie, man. Shout out to Shaboosie, man. I've been trying to tell you. You were trying to tell me on the last episode, shout out Shaboosie. I wouldn't listen. You still didn't listen? And this is a musician?

Yeah. Yes. How do y'all not know who Shaboosie is, man? I mean, I know who Shaboosie is. I just didn't listen. He transcends music. Zero time Grammy award-winning Shaboosie. That's right.

You were on right before the Grammys the last, or the day after the Grammys the last time. You thought he was going to sweep. The episode came out. The episode came out, we recorded it a month before the Grammys. You weren't predicting a sweep, he ended up with zero. What does he smell like? Does he smell good? Opportunity, possibility.

Yes. You know what I mean. The future. Hope. Success. See, I just don't know that society is gonna allow us to go out on first dates and immediately take our pants down

and smell each other's assholes. Scott, I hear you. That's why I changed it to mouth and kiss. Okay, so I don't- Listen, I'm flexible. I'm gonna amend this. I don't know that society these days will even allow you to just kiss a person

that you're on a date with without their consent right away. Oh my God, dogs just read consent. I know that's the thing. We just feel it, all the talky talky talky. See, I think dogs give implied consent all the time. It's like tacit consent. And I think humans would be better off if we just consented

to let whoever do whatever they want to do. A little less to read on the face hole, a little more pheromones communicating. Thank you. Thank you exactly. Wow, you guys have helped me really streamline this business. Yeah.

It's streamlined necessarily. I think we are on fire. Yeah. I don't know about you guys, this is really, really working for me and I'm excited, I'm ignited. I love this. So do you need to change your website?

Hannah's father could probably. Do you want me to get his email? Use mine, I'm not using it. That would be great. I'm really not. Hannah, I'm binder and abbyspot.com. Well, that's not the end. It's gonna be C-spot,

well, it was gonna be C-spot tell, because it's like I'm telling you. Because you're telling people, yeah. But I'm just like C-spot date. C-spot date, although I think that I would feel like that's an OnlyFans side if I were. But that would get a lot of traffic. That's true.

Also, I'm not opposed to putting up my feet. A picture of my feet in your paws. Do you mind if we check out your feet maybe right now? Oh, God, of traffic. That's true. Also I'm not opposed to putting up my feet. Do you mind if we check out your feet? Oh god, of course. See, people are so sensitive. Yeah, do you have a rating on wiki feet? Or Hannah, do you have a rating on wiki feet? I'm sure I do. Put them out. I need to see them dogs. That's what I'm saying. Let's get these dogs out. Let's show some more pictures of these dogs. Okay. Your rating. Before you say it.

Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and self eval. Is it one to 10? One to five. One to five. Okay. Okay. So for me, like I do,

I don't think that I have like extraordinary feet by any means. So for me, I'm gonna say. I cannot even think that I have extraordinary feet by any means. So for me, I'm gonna say- I cannot even think of an instance where I've even seen the shadow of your feet or anything like that, in terms of your work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you done much like-

I'm clavicle up typically. That's kind of where I operate. That scene where your shadow was against the wall and you were putting on the stockings. I'm sort of peeling my pin. You heard saxophony? Yeah, yeah. Sss, sss, sss, sss, sss.

How are we? But I will say most of the pictures, most of the pictures on your site are- WikiFeet? On WikiFeet are you at events or on talk shows. An open-toed heel, I presume. Open-toed heel on the Jimmy Kimmel show. I see legs.

What was that? Did you see something scary? Was about to cough, no. Open-toed heel. Yeah! But there are some candid photos, it seems. I hope they're candid. I hope these are not professional photos.

I'm gonna go ahead and clock myself in at three. Whoa, hey, don't take this into your dating life. Would it surprise you, shoe size nine by the way, is that accurate? Eight. Oh my God. Okay, we need to amend WikiVeed. Would it surprise you to learn you have a four star rating?

Wow. See? It would. And it says parentheses, nice feet. Really? Yes. God, then I guess I don't know the metrics that they're using.

By the way, there are about six comments on your page. Six comments? Let's hear them. User comments. I like what I see. Cute feet on a cute lady. Okay, that's a dog person. Wholesome.

Gorgeous, long toes. Okay. That's a cat person. That's a cat person. Very sexy. I'm scared. That's a dog. Okay, That's a cat person. That's a cat person. Very sexy. I'm scared. That's a dog. Okay, here's a little bit of a criticism.

Not much, but there. Not much? Exciting. Well hang on, hang on. Do I have long toes or don't I? I don't know. What do you mean not much? I'm not ascertaining.

I'm not here to judge. I think they're talking about the amount of pictures. Okay, okay. I think they just want more. Wow, I'm crazy about her toes and the polish color looks great against her pale skin. Okay. Okay. It started horrible, went on to become allyship.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Toes legit. Toes legit. Absolutely, and I think that could be said for everyone here. I know, we should be leading with our toes more. Ladies and gentlemen, toes legged. How about this? Damn, she's so hot.

I wish there was more of her. Okay. Like more of your body or more of your feet? I'll tell you the most terrific comment I've ever gotten on a post of mine. And it's the cleanest word choice, but it's so upsetting. Are you ready? Okay.

Love her wide fat. I can't even say it. Okay, here it is. Love her wide fat beefy pooper. Oh Jesus fucking Christ. It's chosen every episode, which is great! I understand what's wrong with that sentence. Is that not?

To a dog... This is like the biggest compliment you could get. For a dog, that's a rave. That's a way... that is. That is some high regard, Hannah. I don't think you should think anything other than... Someone commented that on a bunch of my stuff. They just copy and paste.

I fear that saying this on this podcast is going to lead our fans to comment it endlessly. No! Oh my god, you guys. Please don't. She doesn't like this. That is insane-a-tary. I do like that WikiFeet links to your IMDP page. Totally. And it lists my one credit. You have fewer credits than I expected. Yeah. I have to say. Yeah. Doing my pre-interview. That's why I was like, career. You mean I've

been on one show. Done three of these episodes. Sure. I hope to see that reflected in your Wikipedia page. That's right. Uh, Abby, I'm glad that we have helped you out. Wow. I feel like this is- I feel like I won this round. Yes, you won the episode. Yeah. Yeah, this is a, We should have a game show element of this too.

Yeah. People love to compete. Say that stuff. Do you think if football, and this is for you, Hannah, if football didn't have points, would it still be as exciting? No. The points are key, right?

You have to have the points because you have to win and it's about winning. But what if they ran up and down the field and did all the things they're doing and kicked it through the thing and all that and everyone just was like, good job? Yeah, that's interpretive dance. That's not. That's a game of catch to me and I'm here for that. That's sports.

I love this. All right, well, we are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That's a little something called Plugs. What are you gonna plug? What are you gonna plug? Fuck off, Levi. What you gonna plug?

What you gonna plug? What you gonna plug? I really, really, really, really wanna hear it, please. Ooh, nice and short. That was Plugs, Please by Levi Sains. Thank you to Levi Sains. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and upload it.

And you can be famous for a week. And Levi Sains, you are famous this week and this week only. Prepare for the inevitable crash down of your fame plummeting in about seven days time. Hannah, what are we plugging here? Your Wikipedia says not much other than hats. That's right. That's right, Scott.

You had your standup special which came out last year? Yeah. That people can still access? Check that out. Everything must go only streaming now on Macs, which is also where my show is. That's the corporation that owns me. You are just knee deep in the Max business.

Oh yeah, baby. Are you like Max royalty? Like when you show up out there in Santa Monica or wherever their offices are, do they just like all the doors open for you? I'm something of a Maxinista, I'd say that's fair to say. Yeah, we got hacks coming out. And when does this air this episode?

Who knows, but I will say that wet day is the day that everyone will be celebrating. April 10th, folks. April 10th. And remember, we need exponential growth, right? This is an era of tech and Wall Street influence in Hollywood. And if you don't have growth in your business, that means you're doing horrible. You can't just make money for everyone. No.

You need to grow every quarter. So if you want me to keep sort of living, frankly, you gotta tune in folks, you gotta tune in. How many seasons do you wanna do? I think we talked about this last episode, but I would like as many as you guys are still alive. Every year just make a new season. And we just like, you know,

and the later seasons can be boring, you know? Like I'm sure, you know, not, there's not gonna be all this drama with like, oh, she's got a big show now. Like eventually it's all gonna peter out, but I'd still love to just hang out with you guys. Well, you're sweet. And I too would love that.

I think, you know, our hope is five. Our hope is five. Your hope is five. So you don't know yet. We don't know yet. Because we win all these awards every year I think, you know, our hope is five. Our hope is five. Your hope is five, so you don't know yet. We don't know yet. Because we win all these awards every year. Look, you know, I... Including you, a Critics' Choice Award.

Hey, come on now. The Critics chose you to win an award. They chose me to win and that, you know, and I choose and you have to choose yourself every day. And that's what really matters. I believe they chose you to win Supporting Actress when I view you as a choose yourself every day. And that's what really matters. I believe they chose you to win supporting actress when I view you as a co-lead. Well, you're nice, in addition to being sweet.

Thank you. But Hacks is out, we need to watch it on wet day. We need to, and it comes out every week too. It's not like all put up at the same time. It's one episode a week. One episode a week. So here's what I would do. I would watch the first one on April 10th.

I would probably pace around my house, wondering what's gonna happen for the next six days. And then seven days later, I watched number two, repeat. 10 times. 10 times. 10 times repeat that. We're going all the way to June? Is that how long this is running? This is gonna be a great couple of months. Yeah, 10 times. 10 times, repeat that. We're going all the way to June? June.

Is that how long this is running? This is going to be a great couple of months. I think it'll be, I think, yeah, April, May. All of May. A lot of May, right? I mean, look, and I'm with Abby, I don't do math, so that's your department, but look, I'll just have to keep working so that I can keep coming back on Comedy Band Night. I hope so, because Max, you know, and Hax, which by the way, they rhyme, that's elegant.

Hacks on Max. Hacks on Max. If this doesn't get back for a fifth season, I don't know that we're going to have occasion to talk anymore. And I really love our chats. Yeah, I guess I'll have to figure something out. Yeah. Make a real career.

Yeah. So that I can come. So I'm begging our listeners watch Hacks because I want to be talking with Hannah in about a year's time. Yeah, we're so desperate to be talking one year from now and so if you could watch the show, that would help us to do that.

I would love that. All right, let's turn over to Dion Sanders. What are you plugging here? First of all, Colorado football is back in August. Stay tuned for that. We already back to work at this point. So you guys are in pre, what do you call, pre-training? Workout, workout. We're just working out, we're evaluating dogs.

We see how many dogs we got this season. How many dogs have you been through? Hundreds of dogs. Hundreds of dogs. Yeah. And they haven't all worked out. They haven't all worked out. Not all dogs go to heaven, Scott.

You know that. No, because you just get new lives. Exactly, exactly. That's what I'm saying. So you come on back. Well, other than that, I'd like to plug some other people's podcasts that I like to listen to. Oh, sure, yeah.

The Hollywood handbook, the Hollywood handbook sport-o-matic universe. Those men. Those men. Yeah, what we call them You call them those men. Some people call them the boys, but those men They just launched a new podcast. What are these guys doing? It's called the filthy ones and filthy It's a play on the flagrant ones, which is a basketball podcast. The filthy ones is a baseball pocket. Oh, okay. Yes. Yes. Yes

So go over and check that out. It's The Boys and Carl as they are very eloquently described as online, The Boys and Carl. The Boys and Carl. And let me ask you a question. Do they ever drop the act? I still don't know. Interesting.

Also, you know, watch other things. Grand Cru streaming on Peacock. In the Nose streaming on Peacock. Is that gonna come back? If enough people watch that, will that come back? Probably not. Neither will In the Note. And watch Saturday Night Live, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Shabooby or Jelly Roll. Yeah, did you, I have a friend who's a writer on that show. Did he write Ladies and Gentlemen Jelly Roll? I did, he did. Oh my God. This is huge. He did. I would. Oh my God. This is huge. He did. I would love to meet him.

Yeah, you gotta meet that guy. All right, Abby Spot, what are you plugging? Check me out on Hannah's WikiFeet page. Oh, you get in there? That's where I'm gonna do my. That's where you're gonna comment on? Oh, I see, that's where you're getting your website. That's where you can find it.

I would imagine her WikiFeet page gets more traffic than hannahieinbinder.com. Oh, undoubtedly. That's why we went with it. We went with the feet. There's just no doubt. There's some cute people who do improv. Oh, okay.

The Yeti team at UCB in LA and at the Elysian Theater in LA. Okay. Can find them on Instagram at, at for, for real Yeti. I don't know. Yeti for real maybe? Yeti for real. Yeah, I bet that's it.

Yeah. If I had to guess. And I have no skin in this game. I have no skin in this game either. But a lot of skin on your arms and legs though, I'll tell you that much. Well, not that I'm showing. Yeah.

I have pants with a huge hole in the, We haven't talked about that by the way. When you walked in here, it was surprising to me. You have a huge hole in the ass. We haven't talked about that by the way. When you walked in here, it was surprising to me. You have a huge hole in your... I'm upset that I have to be on a chair and hide it right now. Yeah, I know. This is terrible. Yeah. I want to plug, look, hey, we mentioned it before, CBB World.

It's your one-stop shop for everything comedy-bang-bang related. We have the entire archive, every episode of this show, ad free. We have every single live episode we've ever done, including the giant tour we did last year. We have great shows like Scott Hasn't Seen, where we watch movies that I haven't seen before. We were just in the middle of month month, which is so exciting.

We also had, we have shows like Hey Randy with Randy Snuts. We have Who Me with the Batman. We have The Neighborhood Listen. We have College Town. So many great things over there. And if you subscribe for a full year, you get two months free. So that's a great deal.

All right, what do you say? Why don't we close up the old plug bag. Never a season to surprise me and also make me laugh. That was Clothe the Plug Bag by Evaser. Thanks to Evaser for that. And guys, I want to thank you so much. Hannah, I know you're a mid sip of water, but I'm gonna thank you and I'm gonna say that I hope that Hacks is a huge success. I'm a big fan of the show and early adopter and Excited for this season and I can't wait to see it and I hope to talk to you in a year

I will see you in a year. I love that confidence. That's dog confidence. Oh, yeah We'll see you in a year. I love that confidence. That's dog confidence. Oh yeah. All right. And Abby Spot, of course, good luck with your business and good luck with co-opting WikiFeet. We'll be in touch.

Yeah, fantastic. And Dion. Should we show one more scene from Hacks? Yeah, sure. One more writers room scene. Okay, sure, yeah. And action. So you got those ribs.

There's a good rib right here. And we both lost our jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got barbecue sauce all over the rewrites. Yeah, that was really tough and maybe I should have taken a different leadership strategy, but I was just trying to be, I don't know, easy and cool. It's not your fault. Hey, I need a place to stay.

You mind if I move in with you and Christina Hendrix? I don't, yeah. Well, I mean, I guess I could sleep on a couch. No, we get all new intimacy quarter Hi, I'm Abby spot the new intimacy coordinator for hacks. I'm taking over your office. Oh, wow Wow, so the I'm sorry. I'm just a passive PA observer The intimacy coordinator is taking over the head writer's job office. I got fired. Okay. Yes We didn't get the rewrites approved by my subordinate.

I'm so sorry. And they found me through Wikifeet. Oh, OK. This all makes sense to me. I just want to write one last thing before I leave the office. Let's hear it. Quee, quee, quee, quee, quee, quee, quee, quee, quee.

This is me writing in a cue card. Quee, quee, quee, quee, quee, quee, quee, quee, quee. This is me writing in a cue card. Genuinely, Genuinely amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, ToesLegit. Woo! Alright, we'll see you next time. Bye!