Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Help Me Rhombus (Carl Tart, Angela Giarratana, Alex Fernie)

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

This week, athlete / actor OJ Simpson, an old little boy named Angus Montgomery Diana, and The Flasher Gremlin join Scott for another CBB Round Table! In this special edition of Comedy Bang! Bang! Scott and his guests discuss the issues of the day and how they can maybe solve some of the world’s biggest problems. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I'ma-d-d-bondy bang, bang, comedy bang-bang, comedy bang-bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang, comedy. I jumped across a pond and stole a wizard's wand, but I went too quick and I stole his dick. I'm probably going to jail. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Oh, thank you to Jack B. Nimble for that. Oh, I wonder if it's the famous Jack B. Nimble. That would be, what a treat that would be. Famous long jumper, I guess. Not a long jumper.

Hi, certainly, over a candlestick. I wonder if I could jump over a candlestick. Sounds dangerous, though. Maybe I'd turn it upside down. Ooh, sounds even more painful, actually. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. Thanks to Jack B. Nimble, not Jack Knee Bimble. for that catchphrase submission.

My name is Scott Ackerman. We have an exceptional show today. I will let you know who's on it, but every once in a while an episode comes along where we've taken a little bit of a left turn in terms of format over the past year or so. That's right. It's time for the CBB round table

where the table is round, but the issues are squarely within our sights. We're going to hash things out on this episode. We're going to talk about the issues of the day with an esteemed panel of guests here. We're going to talk about thoughts, feelings. Nothing is off limits. Nothing is off limits. And everything is on this very, very roundtable that we have right in front of us.

Let's get to our guests. He's been on the show many times before. He went to UCLA where, no, USC is actually what I meant to say, where he won the Heisman trophy. You know that gold trophy with the guy sticking his arms out. And he then went on to play for the Buffalo Bills, winning many Super Bowl. Of course he didn't win Super Bowls. What I meant to say is winning Neri a Super Bowl, but became famous starring in a series of commercials for luggage, I believe, and then went on to

star in movies like The Naked Gun, The Naked Gun 2 and a half, and the Naked Gun 33 and a third. Then I lost track of him around 1992 somewhere on there. I kind of lost interest in his career and I have no idea what he's been up to since then. Please welcome back to the show, O.J. Simpson. Scott. Hi. Scott, it has been a while since I've seen you. Yes, I think about a year.

I just want to say thank you for when I get the call, where I am. now, you have to get calls to be released. Where are you now, by the way? In the Netherlands world. Oh, wait. I think, didn't we talk about this last time when you were on the show? Did you die recently? I did.

Isn't that something? Isn't that something when somebody dies? It's a terrible thing. Although I guess people have to in order to make space for everyone else. Yes, it's not enough space on the planet. People think that the planet is just this vast amount of flat, you know, that is... I don't know, the people think that. You know, it's flat.

And people think it's just this vast amount of flatland and desert and sea and things like that, that everybody can just inhabitate. But they can't. No, we do. Although, I guess how, if you really want to get down to it, lying down, how much, how many people do we have space for on the earth? Everybody was lying down. Yeah, you want to be everyone to be able to sleep. Although I guess only half of them need to sleep at a time. So I guess.

But you don't want people to have to migrate to the standing areas. when they're woken to, you know what I'm saying. And that's the issue. See, there's desert, which is way too hot for everybody to lay down on. Right. And there's frozen tundrum. So no one can lie down. So in the inhabitable portions of the earth, how much room is there for people to lie down and turn over once or twice when they're sleeping?

We're running out. And I tell you, if it's a, if it's a wild sleeper, this thing is moving here. If it's a wild sleeper you got, you know, somebody who kicks and, you know, somebody who kicks and, and moves all around. Moans, screams, night terrors. Bitches and moans constantly throughout their sleeping. If you have somebody who's bitching and moaning all night, it's going to be impossible for three or four other people.

If we're all laying down and we're all not in our homes. So what kind of a spatial diameter do we need around each person in order to make sure that if they're one of those types of sleepers? I'm just wondering how many people can we fit on this earth? I would say we need at least six feet between everybody, COVID-style. And a lot of good came out of COVID, right? A lot of good came out of COVID. I'd like to go back and relive that COVID lifestyle.

You know, a lot of people say it was bad. I was having a great time. I was having a great time. Let me tell you, I was, I did get the jab. Oh, okay. Is that why you died? I think that's what killed me. Honestly, I think that's what killed me.

Because I was pretty good health. I mean, it makes sense. You were alive. Then you get the jab. Then you're dead. Then you're dead. Then you're dead. As simple as that, Scott.

I was, I was living fine. I was golfing. I was living in Vegas. I wasn't allowed to come to California. I don't know anything about that. Huh? I don't know anything about it. I was in, I was living in Vegas, having a great time on the golf course with my friends.

Vegas, baby. They say, Vegas, baby. They say, hey, why don't we all go down and go down to Caesar's Palace at the sports book? They're giving away the jab. And I say, well, you know, I'm an older gentleman. And, you know, I got to take care of my health. I got to take care of who I am. Your health and who you are.

The two most important things is what it comes. I'm just saying, Scott. Oh, man. And I got to go down there and they're giving away the jab. And you get a free drink with every jab you go. Cocktail? Yeah. Okay.

And so I had a couple of Jack and Cokes, and I got a couple of jabs. A couple of jabs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just told them to do them all in the same day. You know, they were saying, you got to come back in three weeks. You got to space them out, yeah. You got to spread it out. You got to come back in three weeks.

But your body's strong. You can, yeah. I'm the juice, man. You know, as I may have been up there in age, but I'm the juice. I'm still pretty strong. So I said, give me three of those because I want the three free Jack and Cokes. And because, you know, money is not, was it great at the time? Money's too tight to mention.

Money was too tight to mention at the time. And so I said, I want these three. drinks with my with my fellas and we're going to bet on the ponies because it was safe for the ponies to ride during the COVID. Right. Yeah. And also you had money to bet on the ponies, but you didn't have money for drinks. Hey, I'll just say it, Scott. I'm just saying. You are just saying. But I got the jab and four years later, three years later, plop. But is that, but I really haven't kept up with what's going on with you since 1992 or so. Is that how you died? You just plapped? Hit the ground, not running.

Hit the ground dying. I'm just saying, Scott. I'm so sorry. I mean, I think there are no coincidences. There are no coincidences. There are no coincidences. But there are preincidences. That's right.

And a lot of people don't think about that, Scott. You got to think about the preincidences before you can think about the coincidences. Because let's break that word down. Yeah. Co-incidence. Co-incedents. Co-meas. Co-op means two people.

Co-operation. Co-op. Co-op. People live in a co-op. Coupe. Coupe. Coup. Coup.

Hang with Mr. Cooper. Conrad Bain. Conrad Bain, the doctor that killed Michael Jackson. Also the doctor that administered. I don't think that was Conrad Bain. We want to make sure that the estate and family of Conrad Bain from different strokes doesn't... We don't get him confused with the person who killed Michael Jackson. Conrad Bain.

He was the father on different strokes. He took those two little black boys in. And he... What were his motivations, do you think? Something. And if something weird, honestly, you've got to say. They never go into it in the song. You know what I mean?

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some. I think that was talking about man boy love. Some Nambla stuff, if you will. North American. North American. And they don't talk about it. They don't talk about it in the song, but it's pretty implicit.

Things like that are taboo in regular life. I'm just saying, it's not my thing. I did enjoy the show back in the day. but yeah Dr. Conrad Bain killed Michael Jackson he also administered my jab

which in turn Oh no that's a wrong guy to get it from He gave me way too much Yeah well I'm so sorry OJ

but I'm glad you made it out of the netherworld to be here Hey Scott thank you for requesting me out Yes You know I get a call over the intercom

and it says OJ to the OJ to processing and you go What? Processing Who's calling me to come?

come up. And little did I know, my best friend, Scott Aukerman. Wow. Being called up to the majors. Scott Ackerman and OJ. Simpson.com still available. All right, O.J., well, we're going to get to the issues here today, but we need to introduce our other guests. Okay, take care. I will take care. Thank you very much. Let's get to, this is a new podcaster. This is, I think, a little boy who has a new. Not a little. No, no. How old are you? you, sir. I am ripe 23. You're 23. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I mean, I guess you're a little boy and to a lot of

people, to your parents, certainly. Different strokes for different folks, I guess, Scott. I'm just saying. I can't believe the juice is here. The juice, I never thought you'd do it. You didn't do it. No, thank you for saying that. Finally, somebody. What's up? Thank you for having me, Scott. This is Angus, by the way. Yeah, my name is Angus Montgomery, Diana. Angus Montgomery, Diana. Yeah. So are you like, who are your parents, like? Who are your parents, Like Dirty Diana or? No, no, no. Diana, we added on.

My reps added on. Oh, okay. Yeah. To what end? Just to sound cooler. Okay. It does sound cool. Angus Montgomery, Diana.

Yeah. And you're a, you're a podcaster? Yeah, I just started a new podcast with Buffalo Wild Wings. Oh. Is that a platform or they're a restaurant? They're a restaurant. And I'm the host of their pod now. Oh, okay.

Yeah, they got a podcast now. What does that entail? Everybody's making stuff. Is it like a hot one? one's kind of thing we're like no not really i'm just talking about stuff i went viral uh during a year ago went viral because i made a clip about finding the clit and um where uh they went absolutely viral and who's the oh uh the the royal clit oh okay Megan markles I wish Scott damn I wish no no I just I was doing I was doing I was

doing some stupid shit on the internet and now i found myself a little career on here okay so you're a you you have the buffalo what what is the podcast called yeah so um the podcast is called uh chicken things um chicken things and different things yeah that's what the pod's called and uh we just kind of yeah we talk about uh political issues and then we decide what kind of dipping sauce that political issue should get um okay so it's kind of like it's kind of like Do you have an example? Well, I'll tell you what this is. This is why I'm not really used to normal podcast, Scott, because it's a clip podcast.

Oh, I see. So we make clips. You make clips of yourself? Of the podcast. So we only do like one minute increments for TikTok. We don't do full episodes. Okay, so you just record for a minute and then you're done? Yeah, on a mic.

Oh, my God. I wish I could do that. Yeah, it's wild, dude. And we, and we, the first sentence is usually something that'll go viral. Like, like, something similar to what you said, where it was like, have you seen Megan Markle's clip? I'll tell you what I think that looks like, immediate clicks. Wow.

What does it look like, do you think? What does it look like? I think, I think. Or anyone's. I think it shines. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay.

I think it shines like the top of the Empire State Building. And this is a popular podcast? We just started. So my people are having me do a bunch of cool podcasts going around doing the press circuit. Well, always happy to have another podcaster on this show. I talk about it all the time, the most desirable get. Really? I really appreciate coming on here

I'm doing Call Her Daddy tomorrow What a wide range of stuff Is it call your daddy or her daddy We've never been able to figure that out on this show Whoa I actually never thought about that Call her dad Call your daddy Call your daddy

I don't think it would be call her daddy It's call you It's got to be one of the two I think Both sound hot Yeah Well thanks for being on the show So I mean it sounds to me like you have a lot of great experience

That will kind of help out in this roundtable situation, you're able to tackle the hot button issues of the day. Yeah, for sure. I'll say a bunch of shit that'll sound funny, but it's really, there's nothing under there. Oh. You know what I mean? Just like big buzzwords, right? Because that's like kind of how like, because I'm from Tampa.

I'm no comedian. I'm no podcaster. I'm just like, you're from Tampa, Florida. Tampa, Florida. Really? Forever, man. Forever. And you're 23, you said?

Yeah. Okay. And you're, you're from Tampa. Yeah. Went viral year ago. Did you always want to be an entertainer? Honestly, no, dude. I honestly wanted to be a substitute teacher forever.

Why a substitute instead of regular? Really easy to take time off. You kind of just clock in. There's a whole interface for substitute teachers. Well, I guess you don't clock in. Yeah, that's what I meant. You just kind of clock in. You just say when you're a veil.

You clock in and say, I'm not a veil. Yeah, you clock. And they're like, but you just clocked in. It's exactly it. Okay. So, yeah, so it's been a whirlwind. I never thought I would be in the entertainment industry. Well, I mean, you're in podcasting, which is adjacent.

Yeah, yeah. it's wild especially because like the when I got moved out here they put cameras on me and I was like I thought this was a pod right so they they they moved you out here because you you somehow taped yourself uploaded it to the internet it became viral yeah you got moved out here by a shady consortium of of entertainment folk who then are videotaping you at all hours of the day yeah no uh my management my management team sent me out here they said we can get a lot further in your career if we if we you didn't even have a career at this point literally and that's how shit like this works now dude it's crazy um i took a couple generals i took a general with baskin robins okay everyone's trying to get in the space they have 31 flavors they do you know i i think about that because i mean 31 flavors has been around since i was a kid how many flavors did they used did other places have was it like three or something like this yeah i think what's the one at uh ride aid rita's nope there's one at ride aid

right aid and ridas is so close that it sounds like it could be it feels like the ice cream shop for writing it feels like a traitor Jose kind of situation yes yes oh damn I don't know the name of ice cream place but I guess you used to go into an ice cream emporium thrifties thrifties oh hey OJ

where were you what's going on over there I was sitting there listening in Tinley I like this guy and I like the city of Tampa dude you ever want to lay your hands and hug Marsha Clark You know what, me and Marsha went on a couple of dates after the trip. No, shut up.

You're kidding. Marcia and I went out a couple times. I took it a spa ago. I don't know who Marsha Clark is because I didn't keep up with what was going on with you in the 90s. Oh, an attorney? She represented the state. The comedy troupe? No, the state versus O.J. Simpson.

Oh, I don't know what that is. Don't give him too much backstory. Sorry, okay. It helps our dynamic unless he knows. Oh, shit. He has no idea. just saying take care uh well angus montgomery diana this a fascinating individual and i hope that you'll be quite comfortable here uh we want to open our doors i appreciate i appreciate it and i hope

you're enjoying the sanded edges of the round table yeah we all take turns we do we do indeed um and speaking of taking turns let's get to our third guest in the round table uh he is a mischievous creature of note. You may have seen him in at least one of the cinematic treasures that are the Gremlin's franchise. One or two. How many were you in? I'm in both. I'm in both. You're in both. Please welcome for the first time on the show, Flasher Gremlin.

Hi. Yeah, and, you know, Sky, I just want to thank you for the opportunity to come and be on the show. My pleasure. It's so great to have you on the show. You are, of course, if you have not seen the Gremlin's franchise, how would we describe what happens in these movies? Basically, like you pour water on a thing. Yeah, there's, you know, it's kind of, there's a bunch of things going on, but really what it is is there's a Maguire, the Mogwai gets wet, and then we pop out of its back and we wreak havoc. Right. And the Maguire still exist, or do they die from this? No, the Maguire still exist, though we do try pretty hard to kill them. But the, we, you know, it's just based on how we exist and what our real experiences. And obviously,

Obviously, Hollywood took liberties with it and that. So you're the real flasher gremlin, not the cinematic one, or both? I, I, both. So it's sort of like I'm, I'm, it's sort of like how in Happy Gilmore 2, clearly Sandler's casting a bunch of real golfers. And Bob Barker in number one. Yeah, so like, yeah, so he's not only Bob Barker on the Price is right, but then he plays him in this fictionalized. Right, exactly. So in gremlin's, you know, Gizmo de Mogwai is a puppet, uh, voiced by Harry Mandel, but all the gremlins are the actual gremlins. Famous germaphobe.

That's right. Yeah, gizmo hated germs. Yeah. So, um, so you were a flasher gremlin and they saw what you had to do. Yeah, I just want to get ahead of it. Yeah, right here because, you know, like, that's it. You know, like, I mean, everyone calls me flasher gremlin and I guess. Is that not your name?

It is my name and I like, the anti-tingtings. That's my name. Uh-huh. Um, that is my name. Um, and I, I just wanted to come out. I just wanted, I'm not the same person I used to be. And I know now that what I did then, wasn't right.

It just wasn't right. And I want to apologize to everyone my actions affected. I think that is a brave stance to take to apologize when one has done wrong to the public

or to individuals. Mr. Grimman, if I may, never apologize. You know, and I hear you, juice, but like, I just feel like, you know,

I spent about 25 years in my life, just going around in a trench coat and glasses with a cigarette hanging out of my jagged little teeth. And if I saw a lady and it was normally Phoebe Cates, I would open my jacket and I would waggle. I don't have genitals, but if I did, I would waggle where the genitals were.

Are you smooth down there? Is that what's going on? Smooth, no, but I don't have genitals. Rough, yeah, ribbed, rough, exactly. It is disgusting behavior. It's disgusting behavior. And I know that. Or Angus, were you saying it's genitals were disgusting.

I was saying having no genitals, but it being rough. Yeah, that's, yeah. I would think it would be either have genitals. Do you mind if we get a peek? Is that? I'm really trying to get away from... I mean, I'll show you. I just want to make it clear.

This isn't a flash. This is a request. Yeah, and this is like a legal thing that I just... Do you have consent? I consent from all one consent. Fully consent. Fully consent. I'd like to get just a little poop as to what we're working with, so...

So, here you go. See, so it's like ribbed, it's like a lizard. You put the cigarette in your mouth to do this. Yeah, yeah, well, I can't hold it because I'm holding open my coat, so I have to keep it in my mouth. And, you know, I would go like, ah, like that. And then Peeb Kays would kick me, and it's... It's not right. It's, you know, it's not right to do what I did.

To subject that upon another. That's right. Now, you all gave consent, and that's binding, and that's lifetime. So now for the three of you, it's like, wait, I don't know that we consented for a lifetime. You can't. Binding lifetime. Binding lifetime. I don't know how that works for me. Yeah, I thought consent.

Yeah, OJ's dead. Okay, so OJ, you're out of it. Yeah. I can still sue. Yeah. In the court of God. Wait, why is it right? wrong all of a sudden. I don't get it. It was always wrong, Angus,

and I just didn't understand it. And it was a different time. I'm not making excuses. It was a different time. A lot of people were in trench coats and waggling. It was always wrong. We just didn't think it was. Yeah, exactly. No one thought it was wrong. That's deep shit. And, you know, I'm not one of those big cancel culture guys. I understand. Time moves on. That's good. But I'm just saying, like, you know,

I'm ready to move on with my life. So what do you do with your time now if you're not going around flashing Phoebe Kates? Yeah, I avoid water and I avoid the sun And I try Why do you have to avoid water? Because otherwise more pop out of me Was that the lore?

I can't remember Well, you make me dad it But yeah, I'm pretty sure that Maybe I, yeah Yeah, you know, I'm 100% certain Because in Gremlins when we were shooting There's a part where they go And one of them goes into a fountain

And a bunch start popping out And they kill them Right, oh, okay So you don't want that to happen I don't want that, I'm not ready to be a dad I don't think my head is there You know Come out full size

No They come out little Um, and then they grow very fast. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen the film. No? You haven't seen gremlins or gremlins too, the new batch?

No, some of my favorite 80s films, God, you might like some of these. Scent of a woman. Are you just listing them? The 90s. BAPs. That's called 90s, I believe. Mid-90s. That was a 2010 era film about the mid-90s.

Those are my favorite 80s. movie okay all right well you were busy so busy lady to tell you so flasher gremlin what do you what do you do with your time now well you know i'm trying i'm working on self-improvement you know i'm volunteering uh several um boys clubs uh boys and girls clubs just trying to help people who are coming up and just sort of being like let them learn from my experience you know just because you don't have to lash out just because you grew up in a bad situation is that what happened to you what was your situation uh well i was trapped in amoguize back until it got wet and then i sprang out and then I spent a lot of time trying to kill,

I guess my parent doesn't really, they don't really have gender. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's tough to, it's tough. I mean, to get anyone getting their back wet. Yeah, yeah. Think about just your back getting wet is a deeply unpleasant sensation to anybody, right?

Yeah. Do you miss it? What? Wagling? Flashing, waggling, uh, Phoebe Kate's in general. I didn't like you, dude. I think we all miss Phoebe Kates.

Uh, it would be great as she, you think Kevin Klein is keeping her under lock and key. honestly here's the thing Scott I have wondered what's going on I mean it's you know she had a great career and then maybe she just wanted to become a mother and didn't didn't want to act I mean Mia Sarah just came back in the life of Chuck after I can't rule out that I wasn't a part of it I mean she did at least two different movies where I put her in a situation that she shouldn't have to been where I was hiding behind a counter and I popped out waggling my lack of a dig at her and that's not right and if I had and I'll do this right now I'll apologize to Phoebe kates right now on comedy bang bang I'm sorry, I did that to you in two different films. Phoebe, if you're listening, and we hope you are, and if Kevin Klein is doing something nefarious with you and you need to escape, you can do that. What is the help sign?

You put your... What you're doing with your fingers is very offensive. I know the podcast listeners can't listen, but I'm certain that's not... I think I'm doing the Sufi, the Dave Cook Sufi. But, by the way, did you do that kind of thing to Phoebe Kate's offset as well? Yes. And that's why they put it in the... 100% yeah I was known for that before the film and they were like well we got Phoebe and so on the day that's her real reaction oh she didn't know you're going to be no so this would be funny and and she did not find it funny you know but it kind of it launched my career and you know that what else have you done in your career oh I got cut out of the troop Beverly Hills but I was one of the Girl Scouts and Matt but they're like it's distracting that the Gremlin's here it's distracting enough that Jenny Lewis is one of them it is yeah it's very there should be if you ever cast a kid in a film

you should have an ironclad contract that says you cannot become famous after this film you have to quit yeah you can't do show business related stuff you can't do something else because that's what really does it right being like that's you know like i'm thinking now i'm thinking about ril kiley kiley but i should be thinking about those red feathers why are they being such bitches to the beverly hills troupe yeah that's deep agreed agreed oj any uh any opinion on this troop beverly hills i haven't seen the film but i tell you some of the films that i have seen oh we're going to list them again a coal miners daughter just one a coal miner's daughter so colminer's daughter starring cissy space and Tommy Lee Jones

I believe it came out in 1980 I think so yeah Loretta Lynn and her husband Doolittle enjoyed that one Was his name Doolittle like Dr. Doolittle? Like Dr. Doolittle? Do you think he was Dr. Doolittle? Was he like the prototypical

Well I'm sure man Did you ever talk to animals in that film? I can't remember He didn't talk to animals in that film but that probably would have been the sequel honestly That film was mostly about Loretta Lynn in her life, which I think was a fantastic life. Sure. I mean, she's an incredible singer did such amazing things in the entertainment space, but I'd rather

see a movie about her husband talking to animals. Yeah. And played by a black guy. Eddie Murphy. Sure. At least Robert Downey, Jr. Yeah, Robert Downey Jr. and Blackface. People get so upset about that. About Robert Towney Jr. and Blackface? Yeah. I think that's one of the best performances. Yeah. He deserved an Oscar for that.

He did. Well, he got one for Oppenheimer, eventually. So same thing. Comes down in the wash. Yeah. They should have Oppenheimer be a black guy. Yeah, why not? People get so upset when you ask for, they go, here's a thing that people do.

They say, James Bond can't be black. They do to do that. James Bond can't be black? Can you imagine that Martin Luther King was played by a white man? And I go, first of all, hilarious. But why don't they? Why don't they remake Oppenheimer, but the black version call it Oppen Homies or something like that? Now, Scott, you're bugging up the wrong tree.

Whoa! What? I am learning so much, man. Let's pitch on that. Let's pitch on it. Let's pitch on a title. I don't know Op and Homies is a one. Why?

Because it was his name. So what if he changed his name? There was a scene where he goes down to the courthouse. He's like, I want a legal name. name change. Yeah. I want a legal name change to, and then at the courthouse he gets arrested for fines. Yeah, exactly.

See, Scott, you're parking up the wrong tree, my man. For like warrants. Oh, see? Now, you're doing it again, Scott. Yeah. He's getting nervous. And there's more where that came from. You don't want to play with me, Scott.

I'm not wanting to play with. I don't know what you're talking about. You're just a nice gentle soul, as far as I can tell. Running through airports. Jumping over luggage. Hurts. Don't it But we have to take a break actually

But then we're going to get to the roundtable How's that sound? We ain't got there yet You guys ready to talk about the issues of the day? Very excited, very excited Exhausted Yeah, we're going to talk about what's going on in the news lately What people's feelings are about every

All of this stuff that's happening I'm sure everyone has heard about what's going on lately A lot of things The main issues of the day We're going to talk about all of this We're going to be right back with more OJ more Angus Montgomery, Diana, more flasher Gremlin.

This is the CBB Roundtable. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Take care. Comedy Bang, bang, bang, we're back. This is the CBB Roundtable, where the table is round,

but there are no triangles. This issue squarely in our sights was the best one. I'm trying to think of a triangle one. other shapes. Pentagons. Hexagons. Pentegrams. Rombus. Rombus. Rombus might be something there. Yeah, Rombus. Help me Rombus. Mm-hmm. Just as good. Oh, that's rough to see. Just as good. Just say it all together. Well, you guys say it all together. Okay. This is the CBB round table. Where the table is round, but help me Rombus. Whoa. Okay. So will you edit that other shit out?

Um, our editing machine is broken. I don't know what kind of budget you're working with on your podcast. So you just leave all that in? Well, pasta pasta was here the other day. She needed a bleep or he. I'm not really sure what pasta pasta is, but bleeps cost $50,000 now. In the podcast industry? Yeah. It's tariffs.

Yeah, it's with the tariffs. So pasta pasta pasta fronted us for two bleeps. But, yeah. So that's why you really want to be careful with the cursing and anything you want to bleep out, like legally, like a name, you know, if you were talking about someone in, you know, like Conrad Bain who can. Michael Jackson. Dr. Conrad Bain. This is the CBB roundtable.

We have our panel of guests here. We have O.J. Simpson here. Scott, you got another one of these D.C.'s. I did. I bought, I buy them one at a time. Wow. Selfish. Do you want some of this one?

No, thank you. I'll pour it into a glass. No, thank you. Limited amount of backwash. No, thank you. You want some of my Celsius Arctic vibe? No, thanks. You shouldn't be drinking that stuff.

Why not? It's bad for you. In what respect? I think this voice is. merging into like a macho man, Randy Savage. Who knows? We also have Angus Montgomery, Diana, podcaster here. Just here is a student.

Just here is a student of life. Yeah, I am promoting my pod, but I don't know anything about it. And that is the Buffalo Wild Wings. What was it called again? Chicken tings and other things or something like that. Chicken things. Chicken things. Chicken things.

Got it. Yeah. And people can get that in one minute increments on TikTok. Yeah. We're doing clips. Doing clips. And we also have a Flasher Gremlin is here. and I'd like to apologize again to everyone I've harmed

by showing my lack of dick to them. Yeah. Now, the people who saw the Gremlin's films, you were always back facing the camera. Is that correct? No, no. No. No, they shot me front on.

And they would just set aside a day just to shoot me. So Ben Affleck in that movie where he's taking the shower? What is that one, or his wife leaves? Gone girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gone girl style? Yeah, yeah. It's like Gone Girl style.

It's been a minute since gung girl. Open gung girl style. Holy crap. That is probably something. That was not something. That was nothing. Oh, okay. Yeah, that was good.

The reviews are in. Well, guys, the table is round, and we're getting to the issues here. You guys are ready to open up the issue bag here on the CBB roundtable? Yes. Do it. All right. Here we go. All right.

First question. We all know what's been going on these days in the news. There's, first of all, everything going. on in Washington, D.C., our nation's capital, but then it seems as if the chaos has extended out into other states, other areas as well. Honestly, sometimes it feels almost like this is a bit of a global problem as well with, you know, all of the issues, everything going on, and every day it seems like you'll wake up in the morning and you'll open your phone or you'll turn on the local news and you'll see like, oh, is this still going on? Oh, a new wrinkle here. Oh, my gosh.

Wow, this is metastasized into a new issue, and it just seems like every day there's more news. Does that make sense? So we're here to tackle that. All right. First question on the CBB roundtable, if you could hang out with any cartoon character, who would you choose and why? Oh, that's a great question. I'd hang out with the baby from Roger Rabbit with the cigar. The cigar, yeah.

Did he have a name? Probably. Ernie, maybe? Maybe. I don't know. Maybe I don't think so. Street. Yeah.

There's different in almost every way. Should Ernie on Sesame Street have had a cigar? He could. He could, right? Picture it. I feel like Bert would lose his mind. Bert would hate that. There are people that you look at them and you go, you have a face for cigars.

Yeah. You're like, that's you. I know a guy who's cigar gremlin because every gremlin has like one defining thing. And honestly, he's tedious to be around. Yeah. He's very tedious to be around. A lot of people have had some tedious to be around. Yeah.

Like, it's like, if you go to his house, it's like too clean. And you can just tell. You're like, oh, you don't touch any of this stuff. This is just for me. And he just wants to, like, talk about, like, big picture issues all the time. It's like, man. Gremlin's have houses? Yeah, well, you mean, of course we have houses.

Are they tiny, like, because you guys are so much tinier than... No, they're normal-sized houses. You can't... Why do you need that much space? Why do you need that much space? I can fit you in a box. I guess, but I... Someday you all be fit in boxes.

I make sure all of my ceilings are three inches above my head. Yeah, well, it is low, but, like, I don't know. Gremlin's, like, a little bit of space. Juice, you had to have had a big house, right? Huge. Yeah, massive. Rockingham is what it was called. Yeah.

But I feel like if you were to live in a normal, just like two-bedroom house that humans lived in, that would be like a mansion for you because you're so small. I got to tell you, I don't like how patronizing you sound right now, Scott, because, like, you know, I'm just a being. You know, yeah, I'm mystical, mythical, whatever, but like, you know, sometimes we need covered space too. Okay? Okay. Our plates are the same size.

We don't have littler plates. Easy there, dude. You're on an apology to me. Man, I just want to fucking waggle my crotch at Scott. it's so bad right now. And I want to tell you all again, like, you know, it's not a sexual thing. It's a power thing. And right now I'm getting my eye up. Okay. Well, you do have consent for me, I guess, until I die. Yeah, until the day you die. So anyway, I want to be friends with a baby from Roger Rabbit who's supposed to see that. Why would you want to be friends with him? He seems

like a gas. Yeah. He seems fun, I guess. He's always like, and he's always... That's off camera, though. Yeah, off camera within the camera. You know, we get to see it in Roger Rabbit, but when they're shooting, you know, the cartoons, he's just... It's sort of like, I don't know of our listeners have seen the Roger Rabbit short films, but it's a lot like the office and American workplace where you see behind the scenes of what's going on. Yeah, yeah. You get to get a little glimpse of how Hollywood is really made and also the trolley system, the red car system here. Yeah, it's a nice intersection of those two interests. And those are two of my main interests. Okay, so Baby from Roger Rabbit. Baby from Roger Rabbit. Wonderful. Angus.

Okay, off the top of my head, I'd probably say Ed Ed, Ed, Nettie. Do you remember them? I don't. Who's Ed Ed Ed. two network show that was on for a brief second. I think it was three brothers. Yeah. Two of them named Ed and one named Eddie. Ed and Eddie. I actually don't know if both were named Ed.

I don't know anything about them, but it sticks in my brain. Oh, I see. Yeah, one D, two Ds. Oh yeah. One D, two Ds and three Ds. With an I. With a Y. With a Y. Yeah. I just remember those guys. I think I was like eight and I saw them on the TV and I went. That's what being free looks like.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I brought them up here. They look, one of them is wearing shorts. Fuck, yeah. Yeah. Are you not allowed to wear shorts? No, I just love that he's doing that. Hmm. Yeah.

And the people around him are probably not in shorts. That's awesome. That's artistic. Do you feel like he's taking his long pants and shortening them, or does he buy them as shorts? Oh, I don't know, man. There's a whole story there. That's your clip. Clip that.

One seems to be wearing like an army surplus jacket of sorts. I just remember those three. guys got up to no good and no one cared no one no no consequences no consequences no rules no religion no it was just all it was all okay did you come from a really constricting back it sounds like you're pushing yeah i went to a private school yeah how private uh pretty private pretty crusty privates if i'm right no don't speaking of one d yeah um but yeah i i think uh those boys at that time were really free to me and i was like i just would love to just just like run around and not give a shit.

Now, I'm looking at the description on the Wikipedia page, and it says the trio frequently invents schemes to make money from their peers to purchase their favorite confection, jawbreakers. Yes. And they ate those big-ass jawbreakers in their mouth. So if you were to hang out with them, you would perhaps get some of the runoff jawbreakers.

Yeah, probably. And I think what I do remember now, okay, this is all coming to light. I should have picked somebody I know, but now I'm remembering everything. And their schemes were crazy. Yeah, what kind of schemes were they? Like the Phoenician scheme?

I don't know, man. I don't know, man. That was a crazy scheme, recently in the news, of course. I found this under the captain's chair. Oh, dear. Well, how long does it say? 18 minutes. OJ, you are a gifted mimic.

I forget that you're such a good actor sometimes, OJ. What an actor, dude. I didn't. It was like two different people sitting across from me. well that's uh that's a great uh entry here uh ed ed and eddie um o j who would you hang out with i'm gonna say sugar bear from the golden crisp commercials not strictly a cartoon but a cartoon character nonetheless from a commercial yeah golden crisp post golden crisp a nice breakfast cereal

i'm gonna say sugar bear what was sugar bear what were sugar bears characteristics he was just cool man he was cool did he wear have sunglasses that's sleep have sunglasses in the in the 50s or so but i think they took that away because it was a little too beatnik probably also the eyes or the windows to the soul you usually want in a cartoon character you want to see it if i'm going to buy cereal i need to connect with the character and has that always been the case for you when you're buying it always fred flintstone got me so deep in the fruity pebbles i'd tell you what tony the tiger was strong he believed in his serial you trust him great i absolutely trust that guy he reminds me guys i play a guy he reminds me guys i play

football with. Tucan Sam, I don't know if I fully trusted Tucan Sam because he'd fly all over the place, following his nose wherever it goes, and sometimes he'd leave the kids. Just in the jungle, there'd be huge snakes around and things like that. And that's unsafe environment

for some children. Yeah, so he's untrustworthy. Yeah, Tucan Sam. In a lot of ways. Tucan Sam. And the tricks. Ravit. I mean, at least he comes out there and says that, you know. And can I say something? Hot take. Okay. Hot take. Clip it. Here we go.

Clip this. Put this on the Instagram. Tricks. Not the tastiest cereal. Wow. You know, I mean, aren't they all just sugar things? Scott, there's no time for that. If you go down that line of thinking, then we're doing that for all dessert. Yeah. Come on. You like certain desserts more than you like others. Boobes are all boobs. Angus is right. You're talking about different types of boobs. I mean, vaginas are all vaginas. Just the topping is different.

The topping. Huh. What's the top? That's serious. sleep deep I'm learning so much salt everything around it I guess is what I'm saying huh honestly I don't mean to be woke but I can't think of one lady uh mascot for cereal for cereal yeah let's see there's a girl and snack crackle and pop no no no oh my god are they all boys but there is like a princess like a strawberry there's no princess series thing I think I know I like to eat the uh the

Cinderella fruit snakes. We have Carmelah Creeper from Monster Serial and dashed from off limits. I just want to interject to say I think we all moved on from what Scott just said way too fast.

I'm not ready to move on from all the giant's same. It's just the toppings are different. Because I think that's reflective of a disturbing worldview. I'm not the weird one.

You're the weird one. Flash. I'm working on it. I'm working on the growth I need to stop flashing people specifically Phoebe Kate's. I'm just going to be hung up on that sentence I just heard

for a lot. No, it is, it is for you to say that you must have seen a lot of vaginas. I mean, you know, if you're asking what my body count is, that's not a... What's your body count guy? That's not a point of discussion here. That's not what we do here on the round table. We're talking about the hot button issues

of the day, not the hot buttons that we personally have been involved in. What a genuine question to the round table? Trix cereal. Okay, yeah. Do you like the taste that? Did you grow up eating tricks? No, I remember, you know what? I used to try it. I used to try it. Like I feel like regularly every couple years I'll be like I'm gonna try tricks again. It is you're right. You're right. It doesn't taste very well. It tastes cardboardy. Yeah. Tricks is like chicken sausage. Or you're like it's not sausage. Sausage being lucky charms. I do like a chicken apple sausage. I do lucky charms. You want pork. But you're right. I've never met a chicken sauce. Only chicken apple. What is that? Yeah. What is that? It cuts to savory. It's pretty good. Do you like if I'm doing a sausage? I'm doing pork. You won't pork. But you're right. I've never met a chicken sausage. Only chicken apple. What is that?

Yeah, what is that about? Do you get sausage down in the nether world wherever you are? Oh, yeah. There's plenty of animals down there who've done really bad things that we cut. Well, that's nice. What happens? Do they just regenerate? They come back.

Oh, that's rough for them. They regenerate. It's tough. Tricks. Tricks. Fruity pebbles are tricks or fruit loops. Yeah, you were determined on this question. I really don't know your answer.

I'd say I'd marry fruity pebbles. I'd fuck the other one. the other one Fruit loops And I'd kill And I'd kill Tricks I 100% agree with that

That's pretty good 100% Yeah do we have to fuck one of these serials Yeah that's just what I do Scott fuck Mary kill Clip starts here Does any series? No no no

Fuck Mary Kill Fruity Pebbles Fruit Loops Tricks I'd fuck the fruit loops Because they're circles Okay Spoken by someone

With a high body count Yeah Pro What are the other two tricks Fruit of Fruity Pebbles and tricks. Yeah,

I'd marry Fruity Pebbles and I'd kill tricks. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Scott,

what was cereal like in the 80s? We were, you know, we only got a few at my local store, but we were, we were,

that was the aisle that we always wanted to go through and I think my, my mom had a rule that if sugar was in the first three ingredients

that we couldn't buy it. Wow. Tough childhood. Yeah, it was tough stuff. So you had to eat like Brand flakes Yeah and corn flakes

What's the one where did you were you ever on that All the Olympians are on it Wheaties? Wheaties I was probably was on a Wheaties box I can't remember back that far You've done so much stuff OJ that's like I probably was on the box sometime

Guys we've come to our next topic here Okay On the round table Are you guys ready for it? Hopefully it's about cereal We can make it we've all seen what's going on these days. Every time you open a newspaper,

it seems as if article after article is popping up where people are saying like, oh my God, did you hear about this thing that's going on? Oh, well, guess what? There's a new thing that's happening that you've got to pay attention to now. And day after day, these newspapers, they put them out once or twice a day,

and you open them up, and that's what happens. So here we go. Here's our next topic. If you could be any supernatural creature, what would you be and why? Hmm. Supernatural creature. Yeah. O.J., we're going to start with you.

Tony the Tiger. You think he's supernatural in nature? I do think he's supernatural because how in the hell you get a tiger that stands up that tall. Tony the Tiger's got to be about six four. Is he wearing a shirt collar? Tony the Tiger? Yeah. I think he's wearing like a...

No. He's a kerchief. He's wearing a kerchief. He's wearing a kerchief. He's wearing a kerchief. Yeah, yeah. Like he's down there in Florida And he's wearing an ascot or something

Yeah Yeah And Tampa? Yeah Now I mean Flash your Gremlin Tony the Tiger He's only wearing a kerchief

That's right Meanwhile you at least Are concealing yourself With your overcoat Yeah I know my shame 99% of the time You know that's the difference Tony's just living his life

I have shame I covered up And then I say look at this Now I have something on you See Who's worse though Tony the Tiger or you? Me?

The way I used to be I think so too Yeah The way Tony's doing it, you want to see it because he's 6-4, he's buff. You think he's 6-4? I think Tony's... I think his paws are doing his face.

But when you see him on the cover of the cereal box... He looks great after all these years. There's a big giant bowl of cereal and then he looks tiny next to it. What if he's only like 2-3? That means he's humble. See? Angus is right.

He chose that. He said, make me look smaller than the cereal. And that way when people meet me in person, they go, wow, I'll get this big. big if I eat frosted flakes. Or do you think it's just a giant bowl of cereal, which honestly sounds good right now. Doesn't it? Fuck Mary Kill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Frosted flakes, okay. Sugar smacks. Hmm. Or golden crisp. Golden Grams. Any of these circles? Uh, no. Nope. It's gonna be hard. What's the, when they get soggy, can I wrap one up in kind of a circular shape or a conical?

I guess so, you fucking freak. You're nasty, dude. You are naughty, naughty and nasty. I don't know. I'm going to pass on this one, but we're going to have to go over to Angus Montgomery, Diana. If you could, what is the question? If you could be any supernatural creature, who would you be in why? All right. I'd kill a gnome, marry a fairy, and I'd fuck an eagle. Have you watched the series finale of David the Gnome recently? That's fucked up. I feel like we're at the same page here. I know exactly what you're talking about and it is fucked up. They die and turn into trees

wrapped around each other. That's how gnomes die. And that's the series for that? Yeah. from the Spanish-produced David the gnome animated series. I guess I don't want to be one of the gnomes then because I don't want to die that way. Yeah, I think I'd be whoever is in charge of all the fairies. The queen. Like Obron? Or? Yeah, Obron. Yeah, Obron. Okay, all right. Great. Does that do it for you?

That does it for me. All right, Flash your Gremlin. Same question. If you could be any supernatural creature, what would you be and why? First of all, crazy question to ask in a room with a gremlin and a ghost. But I would have to say. Oh, Dan, do you consider yourself to be a ghost? I consider myself to be all things. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Anyway, yeah. I guess, you know what, I'm going to go with Mothman because he can tell when bridges are going to fall down and he can tell when someone's holding chapstick. Who is Mothman?

The Mothman, I guess. The Moth Man from the Mothman prophecies? Oh, I don't know. The Mothman Propheces. Oh, buddy. Book series? No, no, no. It's real life and also a richer gear movie. And if you get called in the middle of the night and it's someone going like, talking to like a rough voice telling you about the future.

That could be cool off. It could be cool off. Hey, I'm really worried about tomorrow's. This is how you know. You say, tell me what I'm holding in my hand. If they go, chapstick, it's the mothman because he can see the future. He warns people. Some people think he's just...

And you're always going to be holding chapsic in the future? What if I'm not holding chapsic? In the one movie I've seen, it was chapstick. So I don't know how it applies. What's the one movie you've seen? The mothman prophecies. And this is the only mothman-related media that you've consumed? Yeah.

I just watch it over and over. Wait, these are the only movies you've watched other than the Gremlin's movies? Yeah, I'm very familiar with other movies. I just don't like to watch them. Yeah. Okay. So you've seen your own movies. I've seen my own movies.

I've seen the Mothman Prophecy a number of times. And it's very good. It's Richard Gear, probably his best movie. Yeah, you keep saying Richard Gear. That's not a sign. Richard Gear. No, yeah, Richard Gear, yeah. Primal Fear.

Pretty Woman. Old Hamster Bud. All Hamster, Dr. T and the Women. Dr. T. and the Women, absolutely. Underrated. Changed us to Mr. T. Without the women? I'm interested.

That's the first time. Dr. T. The woman just come up. so yeah i haven't seen this movie but anyway mothman's a supernatural creature that lives i believe in pennsylvania can predict bridge clap why do you want to be the mothman though it sounds like a lonely existence no i i just want to know if i'm forgiven i want to be able look into the future and say do they forgive me for the way i was before when i was chasing febe bates around waggling my lack of junket oh god you're covered in shame yeah i think you'll get there i think all it needs is for

Phoebe Cates to come out and accept your apology? Kevin Klein won't let her. What's going on with Kevin Klein? I don't know.

Mr. Pirates of Penn's Ants. He's so good, though. You see that miniseries that disclosure last year? So you watch TV? I love TV. All right, what are you watching lately?

Oh, boy. I'm as a nine perfect strangers. It's back, baby. Oh, yeah. How can they still be strangers? I don't know. I heard they added people and it's not nine.

That fucking pisses me off. If it's two perfect strangers and it's Belke and the other guy, then that's great. Then I'm interested. Yeah, you'll even want in more. Absolutely. Well, guys, great answers. And we've really, really dived into these incredible topics. We do need to take a break now, but the roundtable is going to continue.

Like all round things, it'll just keep going and going and going like a perpetual motion machine. We're going to take a break. We're going to be right back with more of the roundtable, more OJ, more Flasher Gremlin, more Angus, Montgomery, Diana. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Take care. Comedy Bang, bang, bang. We're back. The CBB Roundtable is here. We have the Flasher Gremlin.

Hello. Angus Montgomery, Diana, a podcaster, 23-year-old gentleman. Tampa, hello. Tampa, Florida. We also have O.J. Simpson here. Hey, X World. It's me. Yours truly. X. Oh, that's right. Yes. X. The Anything app. The anything app.

We're back on the CBB roundtable. We've just barely scratched the surface, which, look, if it's a car, that sounds pretty good. If you're in some sort of an altercation with another car, just barely scratching the surface, that's good. But when you're in the CBB roundtable, you want to dive even deeper, get your hands dirty in these issues. And we're prepared to do exactly that. You guys are ready to open up the roundtable again? Open it up. Yeah.

All right, here we go. New topic, obviously. these days, social media, you see a lot of posts, a lot of things on social media where people are saying like, oh, God, look at this thing over here. And then people kind of say, like, oh, yeah, have you seen that? Well, what if I reposted this? And, you know, there's a lot of people posting and then reposting and trying to bring attention to what's going on in the world through various means of posts and reposts.

And they don't call them tweets anymore. Or what do they call them on X the Anything app now? X's. X's. Oh, great branding. But, so obviously that leads us to our next question. If you could be immortal, what age would you choose to stop aging at? And why?

Angus, we're going to go to you first. Damn. Now, obviously, you're a young gentleman, so you don't know what can happen to one's body as one gets older. God. I mean, I'd have to ask, because I see you guys, you fell this before me. And I'm like, does it get better? No. No.

Okay, then I'd say probably my age right now. Just 23? I don't know if I would want to stop at 23 or more like 27. 22 was good. 22 was good for you? 22 was ripe. What was going on in your life? 22, I had just had my first girlfriend.

Oh, great. And she had a personality, man. She had a personality. A good one or a bad one? A good one. A good one. And that was like my first love. She, yeah, it was like a lot of just like memes back and forth.

I think it was the first time. Yeah, it was special for me, 22. How long did you date this person? Two months. Okay. I mean, that's, you know, when you're just getting started. It's long. Yeah, yeah.

And did you consummate the relationship? Yeah, of course. We started out as a situation for like two years. Then for two months dated seriously. Okay. ended. Yeah. And why did it end if you don't want to ask? She had a gambling issue. An issue with she won so much money that she didn't want to date you anymore? No, no. She couldn't stop. There was this, she was a part of this aphleisure pyramid scheme that started gambling.

Okay. So she was in charge of selling athleisure? Yeah. And it turned into a gambling ring. That's a problem. That happens all the time. It was, dude, I didn't realize that there's like so many. women that are fallen victim to these gambling rings with leggings. These are important issues we need to hear about. This is why we do the CBB roundtable. This is, I'm learning so much. I really am. So 22 was good for you.

Yeah, I'd say 22. Physically, your body was right where it needed to be. Totally. Everything feels the same. I never, every morning I woke up, I was just a tad tired, no matter what I ate or drank before, you know? Hmm. That doesn't sound good. Yeah. Did you fix that or are you okay now?

No, I meant like nothing could affect me. Now if I have like, if I have like a certain amount of shots the night before, I kind of feel it, but not really. You're going downhill now, yeah. Oh, fuck. So you're 22, so you're able to get into bars, which is good because you don't want to say like, oh, I want to stop at 13. Exactly. And then you're like Gary Coleman, not to bring up different strokes again. Dr. Conrad Bain.

Uh-oh. Propofal. You ever had propofal juice? Oh, yeah. You get great sleep. You get it with the colonoscopies. You get it with the colonoscopies when they get up in there. Is it the stuff that makes you blue so they could see inside you?

No, I don't. Yeah, you meaning the dye that they put in your veins? Yeah. No, that's, uh, Propofal is just a... Damn. Help you relax. Yeah. Helps you relax.

Cut that out. Cut that out. Cut that out. Yeah, they helped Michael Jackson relax to death. Um, well, that's a great answer, Angus. I'm going to turn over to Flash or Gremlin. Sure, yeah. What age would you be?

How old are you? I don't even know you're a mythical, mystical creature. Yeah, once we spring out of a Maguire's back or another Gremlin's back, we kind of stop aging at that moment. We're just the same forever until we die either by being electrocuted by one of our friends that turned into an electric gremlin or seeing the sunlight, something like that. And so you have a period, a gestation period of a few hours and then you... In the back? Well, once you pop out of the back, you're not the full size yet. No, yeah.

We get a little bit bigger very fast over the course of just like a couple hours. So you basically are already frozen at two hours. Yeah, exactly. Would you freeze yourself earlier if you could choose any age? You know what? I freeze myself right where I am now because I've been doing the growth. You know, I've been doing it. I've been trying to connect with people.

I've been trying to make eye contact when I talk to them. All the things I've learned now, I want to maintain, but I also don't want to get into. I don't know what happens to, most gremlins explode, get killed. Yeah, any gremlin die of old age out there? No, it's normally blenders and stuff like that. Yeah. I've been smoking like a fucking chimney. as you've noticed.

And it hasn't gotten me. No, I'm not sure we have lungs. Oh, okay. Yeah, do you want to open your mouth real wide? Yeah, sure. Take a look in. I don't see any lungs. No, I see a uvula.

Yeah, I got two of those. Hey, see, there you have genitals. My uvula is the genital of the mouth. Yeah, I guess so. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. No, they think about it. Hey.

Now you can open your mouth when you've fled. You should wear a COVID mask. Just pull it down. Hey. Juice, if you could become immortal, what age would you just stop aging at and why you know scott it's funny you asked this because i've actually genuinely been thinking about it have you really i would say 47 is a great because 47 in my opinion you are still young and spry like kind of you know you maybe have lost a little bit of a step

but you're still strong uh it's a good age to to be a dad or whatever it's uh you got gray so you kind of like a silver fox. The older ladies are attracted to you. You could not be a silver fox if you stopped aging earlier. Yeah, but I don't know. What year would you have been 47? I would have been 47, let me see. About 30 years or so?

No, 1994. Somewhere in there. It's the year of my, it's the number of my favorite president. And it is, you know, I just think 47's a good age to like, you know, because you don't want to be like, when all your friends get old you don't want to be too young but that's gonna happen in any of these situations it will but at least at 47 you'll kind of be like yeah i got gray hair right yeah what do you mean a good age to be a dad you know what i'm saying no like it's just a good age to be a dad no i i'm just saying do you want to have kids angus i don't know that's i don't i mean you're a kid

yourself right now yeah i never thought about that man you put a jimmy on when you have sex body count. Angus, do you put a Jimmy on when you kill the poo nanny? Pooh nanny. Man, I didn't know we were doing an expert like Scott today. Do you put up the jimmy and kill the poo nanny? Man, oh man. I'm just saying now that it's dangerous behavior to be out there in these streets. Am I, you know, uh, here and there?

Don't get all red. It's okay. Well, these are great, great. You didn't answer the question. What about you? Oh, well, you know, I'd want to do it before 42 or 44 when your eyes start getting bad. Oh. 36? I think 30, yeah, like in the 30s is good because you're like...

But that feels too young when your friends get old. Because I feel like you can date any age because you're... Uh-oh. You know what I mean? No, 36 feels like any age is okay. Right. When you're a baby face, 22-year-old, you look too young for the older women. Yeah.

And so there's no floor to that for you at 36, huh? Scott, Occerman? Oh, you're talking about. You're the weird one. I did the work! I did the work. Phoebe Kate's how old was she in that first Gremlin's movie? Uh-oh.

I couldn't begin to guess. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I was problematic. All right. Well, we're going to get to our next question here. and this is...

1999, I was... 1993, I was 40, so you were almost on... Good year, good year. I wouldn't do nothing than 93, besides getting disrespected. All right, here we go. We're going to get to our next question and I'm going to start with Flasher Gremlin here.

If you could commit any crime and get away with it, what would you choose and why? Flashing. Flashing. If I could do it, if I could get back into it and do it with... without like without like and just get away with it not ruin lives I would do that and if it meaning the consequences to you would be gone or what about the consequences of your

behavior to other people that's part of it right that's part of but then would you even enjoy it yeah I'll tell you right now I would absolutely enjoy it there's something freeing about it like what Angus was saying so why not just flash in the privacy of your own home that's not flashing you know it has it has to be someone else watching unexpectedly is a flash only without consent uh you know what that's no I don't think it is because I I think you can have consensual flash. I think if we can, like, go out and be naughty and stuff, right? Like, who I'm going to flash?

Are there, like, flashing safe words where you pretend to not have consent, and then... That's brilliant. Yeah, that would be a good way to do it. I should probably, like, you know, put into some sort of program, because there's a lot of people like me out there more than you think. I'm certain people who've been on the show before who like to do this sort of thing. And that's the sort of... When you do 900 and so, some odd episodes, there's going to be some weirdos who...

You're going to get a few. You're going to get a few. Go through the door. Yeah. And if not that, then I would say train robbery. Okay. Yeah, interesting. Like old school train robberies where it's like Pieces of gold. Yeah, yeah. Get out, you know, just sort of like Maybe I'm just young, but is train robbery taking a train or taking the what's in a train?

No, that's a great question. This is a great question. That's a really good question because I've never thought about it. Yeah. Thanks guys. Yeah. I would love to make a movie the greater train robbery. Just steals the whole train? It just steals the train. Yeah. And leaves everything that's in the train there on the tracks. The issue is with that, if you steal the train, you got to take the country's rail lines. You got to take the tracks. You got to take the tracks. And so you will be stopped eventually.

A train is a train without tracks. True, but how is it a vagina is a vagina without a bush? A vagina is a vagina without a topping. Yes. Yeah. You got run that by Scott. I'm not sure. Interesting. Train robbery and or flashing.

Let's go to Angus Montgomery, Diana. If you could commit any crime and get away with it, what would you choose and why? I think being false. What is it when you get to... Falsely... Falsely being a police officer? Impersonating. Impersonating?

Yeah. It sounds fun as hell, dude. Yeah. Just like driving around that car, put the sirens on, pull people over. Bad lieutenant port of call New Orleans style. Yes. I had a buddy in Tampa get one of those old police cars. How old are we talking about it?

It was just like... From the 40s? No. The 30s? No, it was just like from like the 90s. I was going to say the 20s, but I realized we're in the 20s right now. so I could just be talking about now. Whoa.

It seems like it was so long ago, but we're in it now. You adults are wild. Anyway, I would, yeah, I think I would do that. I think it would be fun as fuck. I don't know. Would you put on the hat? Yeah, I think it would be so fun. Honestly, I would do that and let out my new friend over here.

Let out. Out. Out of the other world? Let me out of what? I don't know if you have jurisdiction to let O.J. out of where he's in now. I want to release. Release the juice on the loose? The juice needs to be loose, yeah, of course.

OJ, same question to you. If you could commit any crime and get away with it, what would you choose and why? Let me think on that. Let me think on that, because that's a tough one. Because I do believe that criminals should be in jail, people who do do things. So you're hard on crime. I'm hard on crime. I'm hard on crime.

Same as my president. And I would say, but if I had you commit some crime, you know what me, Scott, I would go down to one of those dessert-only restaurants, like in Vegas, the Sweet Factory, sugar factory, something like that? Do you consider an ice cream parlor or like 31 flavors, the aforementioned 31 flavors, Baskin-Robbins, to be a dessert-only restaurant?

He has a candy store. I would say Baskin-Robbins has gotten too corporate. I think one of these smaller mom-and-pop in Vegas casinos, the small mom-and-pop Vegas casino stores. Sugar factory. And I would go in there and I would eat my weight in desserts. ice cream. This doesn't sound illegal. I wouldn't pay for it. Oh, okay. So, dessert theft. Yes, dessert theft. Desert theft. Yeah. That's as bad as I get as far as a crime.

Anybody else who commits anything worse than that. Yeah. Go to jail. Yeah. Good answer, juice. Good answer. Love hearing your tech on these. Also, you know, I will say when I had a lapse in judgment and did commit a crime when I got my memorabilia back in 2007. Oh, oh, yes. But it was yours. That was yours. It was mine. It was mine. It was my stuff they took from me. It's like with Would it be a crime for a librarian to break into my house and steal any book? I don't think so. Exactly. It was hers.

Or his? No, no, no. Librarians are women. No, librarians are women. All right. Well, I mean, great to hear your take on these things, Juice, because you have the most experience out of everyone. Although, how old are you? We never really got.

It's unclear. I sprang out of a back in the early 80s. So, yeah. So I think I'm definitely younger than Jews. Right. But do you age in, like, dogs? Are gremlin years different things? It's hard to say

I look the exact same that I have since 1984 So I think like My body's not aging at all But calendar wise Yeah Also you're so small I would imagine a year

What is it with this? What is this with I'm so small? Short people don't they Don't years take longer They got nobody Can I ask a question And this has been explained To me many times

I still don't understand What is this skibbitty toilet Holy God Do you clip starts there Clip starts there Anyone? OJ Anyone who I would love to know From the young Angus

here. Yeah, Angus, what is? I feel like you're going to have the best bet. I can't believe I get to do this on air. Wow. Yeah. Hit us. We have an older gremlin here, an old man

who is now dead, and O.J. So, please inform us. What is the Skibbitty team? I want to give you the government definition really quickly. Okay, and then I'll explain it as a person. Okay, so just give me a second. All right, sure. Yeah. Take all the time

you need because this is part of the roundtable it leads us down what some people would call blind alleys but is any alley blind when it leads you into scene what do we think government definition means i don't know let's find out yeah what we got skibbitty toilet angus what i thought um it was a viral meme you know what a meme is i do yeah oj oh j do you know what a meme is of course yeah yeah you are a mean basically it's a human headed toilet is a meme of a human headed toilet

meaning a human with the head of a toilet yeah okay and the meme is that toilet like fighting oh god

I don't know if I'm getting this right the head's coming out of the toilet and it is fighting a war against the cameras and the other

high tech enemy army so it's like an optimist prime transformers kind of situation but with toilets instead of cars

no they don't really turn into anything it'll be like a body with a camera head and then a toilet with a man, a Ukrainian man's head sticking out of it. And they go to more. Yeah, that's about it. I think I got it.

You don't need the government one? I do want the government. Well, Skibbitty is now its own thing. Okay. And Skibbitty and Gen Alpha slang means something that is cool, bad or dumb. All three of us. Bad like Michael Jackson? Like Aloha.

Like Aloha. I was just about to say it's like Aloha, dude. Where it means both. Michael Jackson, bad. This is bad, real bad. Michael Jackson. I remember when that came out and everyone was laughing at it. Like, no, things that are bad can't be good.

He proved us wrong, didn't he? Skibbitty. Skibbitty. Scotty, you got a squirrel problem. Yeah, I've been noticing that too, OJ. Is it a problem or an opportunity? To make a hat? You've got like F-1 racers out there.

To make a Jimmy hat? By the way, I think it's a citywide thing because I was driving my daughter to work. To work. Where does she work? Well, we're trying to, you know, we're trying to bring manufacturing back to this country to school. And we were several miles away, and we saw more squirrels than we'd ever seen in our life just, like, racing across the street. So I think it's the citywide, their squirrels have been talking to you? No, they were not chasing.

Have you seen these squirrels that live on college campuses? No, I have not. They are all like three times the size of a normal city squirrel because of the amount of food waste that these college campuses have. Really? That these squirrels can get into. And they're starting, like they almost look like a different animal. So they're gaining the freshman 15 as well. Angus, that sounded so sincere.

The dead eyes behind that laugh. Not looking at anybody. There's your clip. There's the clip. Well, guys, I think that's the roundtable. Wow. We did it. I think we really solved some things today.

I mean, I know that a lot of times you don't get into discussions in order to solve things. You just kind of want to bring. But I think we actually solve. a lot of the issues of the day. What do you think? I think so as well. Can I ask one follow-up question? Yeah, no problem. Is the topping the rest of the woman? It's her personality!

Yeah, it's her personality. A wonderful, wonderful personality. Okay. Well, guys, we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called plugs. exposed untie the knot on the bag that's closed tell you something new when i give you the date come watch what i do put food on my plate center has a sack but he wish he had the plugs contained

within this bag time for plugs gonna sell what i do in mother rush a back plugs you comedy bang bang hosted by weirdo scott ockerman talking poppy cock and now he's gonna give me a shot as i long for the bag that has my lives work inside exemplify then subside as the show wears past the time Yeah, that was ding-dong plugs. That's right. And ding-dong, yeah. It's not that kind of show. Yeah, that was Ding-Dong Plugs by Boss Man 207.

I really enjoyed it. That was good. It sounds like something Matt Apataka would like. I got a fucking half-chub over here after that. Oh, wow. Well, I've been listening to a pop-punk playlist past couple days. Really? Yeah, reminiscing about my grandkids' high school days.

Well, guys, what are we plug in here? Obviously, Juice, you always have something going on down there in the nether world, right? Sheesh, Luis. Always something going on. I haven't had a break since I've been back to the real world. Right. Well, I called you up here and you came straight here, so I would imagine that's... I like a couple podcasts to promote if you don't mind me promoting them on your show, Scott.

Sure. We always love to promote podcasts. The patreon.com forward slash Hollywood Handbook. It's a universe at this point. With those men. With those men that they call the boys. And I like their podcast, Hollywood Handbook. And I also like their basketball podcast, the flagrant ones.

And I like their baseball podcast that they now have called the Filthy Ones. And I like the little Sopranos podcast that they've just started called Darden Lamar Woods. They used to have a podcast called ExoXO Exo. Gossip Kings where they watched Gossip Girl, and now they got a podcast where they watch the Pranos called X-O-X-O-Bada-Bings. And, uh, I like, I like, uh, I like, I like, uh, I like titles of podcasts that are parodies of the previous podcast that they've done where I've done many of them. We gotta keep doing this. Yeah. Next one is XOXO Eldon Ring. I don't know. But,

but, uh, but I do have one follow-up question. Do those guys ever drop the actor? I still don't know. Yeah. Uh, you could also watch. crew on Peacock is still there. Yeah, they're not going to take it down. They're not going to take it down unless you stop watching it. Keep watching it. If you're in line, stay in line. And also on Peacock

because the season's over, you can watch SNL 50. And have a good time with a lot of those skits and skibbitties. Yeah. Three hours worth or so, three and a half, maybe even. Three and a half one.

Was it that special? Wasn't it three? Oh, yeah, I'm not talking about this budget. I'm just talking about the season. You're just talking about the season. Yeah, yeah. All right. Angus, Montgomery, Diana. What do you want to plug?

Okay. I'd have to, I mean, first I've got to plug my pod. That's why I'm here. Oh, yeah, of course. And chicken things. Chicken things and chicken things. That name is jaded. This is going to be hard to find now.

Yeah, I'm changing it around. I also love this other improv podcast. It's called Artis on Artis on Artis on Artists. I've heard about this. Yeah, it's a bunch of, just make fun of. Hollywood round tables you get Patreon it's on Patreon too Patreon yeah Patriot Ron

Patriot Ron Patry Ron that's something right Pastry Ron pastry Ron pastry Ron shit dude what's your body count I'll let you know after the show Thank you that's my plug Flasher Gremlin what do you want to plug You know what I want to plug sometimes I sit in with this comedy show called Convoy once a month

at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and live streamed. So, it was the first Wednesday of the month. It's live in Los Angeles. Live in Los Angeles. Live streamed throughout the United States, certainly, if not the world. Yeah, I assume the world, but I've never thought about it. No, why would you? There's no reason to.

But I guess, yeah, you know what, I don't know. You ever get any email saying, blimey. I saw your show the other day. Yeah, but it's from one guy, and I think he's lying. And then you know what, Scott? I want to plug the concept of empathy. Yes. Thinking about the people

that we've affected Phoebe Cates primarily of the world. Zach Galligan does that was that his name or was it Gilligan? No,

Zach Galligan, you know and I just want all of us to take a moment and think about that and think about how we've affected people and what would that feel like what would that feel like to have a little guy

wearing the trench coat and sunglasses and a cigarette pop out and flash their lack of a dick at them just think about that because it's universal. It's a surprising thing to have someone hiding you know in the bushes

wearing an overcoat, perhaps gloves. You don't know whether they're carrying a weapon or not. You're just like arriving home to your house and someone is hiding there in the bushes and then you're just trying to maybe return something to the owner, you know, in a manila envelopes and sunglasses or something like that. Damn, I'm sure he's listening to, Scott. He's canceling his water.

It's tough, I mean. He's canceling his water. Let him cancel his water. But in any case, the concept of empathy certainly is something we all need to think about. I want to plug, hey, head over to CBBWorld.com. We have every single episode we've ever done of this show. Add free, the entire archive of 900-some-odd shows, plus every live episode we've ever done, including last year's big tour. We have other shows like College Town, The Neighborhood Listen, CBB Presents with Hey, Randy,

and this book, changed my life, and the Batman. and Will, I'm Heinz to Prav You. And, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, , uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, so many great shows, where I watch movies with Sprague the Whisper, my good buddy. So many great shows over there, head on over to CBBworld.com and you can get them all. All right. Let's close up the old plug bag. We all have bags.

And they need some closing. We need these. bags because we're nosing that in these bags are lots of plugs Opa open the black bag with me dude Just please don't close and it be rude I'm talking, open out the plug bag, and then you are alive. All right, that was Waves. Plugback 2025 remix by NTR.

Thank you so much. If you have a plugs theme, either opening or closing up the plug bag, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs, and you'll find everything you need over there to upload your song as well as all the stems and everything for the, remixes. And guys, I want to thank you so much for another scintillating roundtable. Obviously, OJ. Yes. Wonderful to have you back here. I hope you get to cancel your water. God, let me stay up here. Are you in hell? Why are you canceling water if you're in hell?

People in hell need ice water. But when it doesn't get delivered, it's an issue. Angus Montgomery, Diana, pleasure to meet you. And good luck with your clips or your podcast or whatever form your content lives. And that's the important thing is we're creating content. much today. Thank you for having. We're fellow content creators and I consider us to be peers. That was halfway almost there to a laugh. Yeah. Yeah. And Flasher Gremlin. Yeah. Thank you. So, so great to meet you. So good to be here. And again, like the, you know, the consent you gave is lifelong. So, you know, here you go. That's, yeah, that's, you're, yeah, wagging your lack of genitals. You're. You're, you know, your jagged lack of genitals at me. Jagged, that's the right word, yeah.

It made me feel ashamed and powerless. Yeah, okay, good. Great. That's awesome. Cool, great. Well, great to have you on the show. You're so happy to be here. And guys, we'll see you on the next CBB roundtable,

but we'll see you on the next episode. Bye.