Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Hollyweird (Amita Rao, Will Hines, Casey Feigh)

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

This week, beloved TV star Amita Rao joins Scott to discuss her topline role on "Adults", where she lands on the call sheet, and why Nick Kroll hung around the set so much. Then, eccentric multi-millionaire and “fun guy” H.M. Rosemont joins to test Scott and Amita’s puzzle knowledge. Next, Death stops by to announce he will be taking a life by the end of the episode. And finally, substitute teacher Midge Sinks discusses her interesting new puppet shows. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

I'm just like you, I put your pants on one leg at a time. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Joey O Tweets. Let's see, Joey O Tweets submitted that roughly two and one half years ago and I'm just getting around to it now, but thank you Joey O Tweets. Hope you're still a listener and honestly I hope you're still on this earth. Thanks, Joey O. Tweets, and welcome to Comedy Banking for another edition. We have an exciting show today.

We have an eccentric multimillionaire coming up on the show. We have a being. I guess everyone is a being in some sense, but I think you'll see what I mean when I bring them on. And we also have a substitute teacher coming up a little later on the show, but we also have a very exciting show business guest to start us off with.

We are in Holly, look, I'm just gonna say it, weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we like to have people who work in, I'm gonna say it again, Holly Weird on the show. We love our film stars, that's number one. We love people who are in movie stars. Movie stars are better, yeah. We love booking movie stars.

Yeah, yeah. But you know what? How many have you had on? Ah, they usually are booking movie stars. Yeah. But you know what? How many have you had on? They usually are only on once. We've had Ben Stillers in all those Night at the Museum movies. That is a bona fide movie star. Yeah. Jake Johnson had a movie out when he was on the show.

He was promoting a movie. Yeah, he's TV though. Okay, thank you. I agree. Would a movie star see me at the beach and come up and say hi? I don't think so. Only a TV star would me at the beach and come up and say hi? I don't think so. Only a TV star would do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Adam Scott would like to be in movies, but you know, Madame Webb. Was he in Madame Webb? Yeah, it just doesn't count. He was playing Ben Parker, Peter Parker's father, or Earthsat's father. Adam Scott was playing Peter Parker's father? Uncle, Uncle Ben. You know. Young uncle?

Youngcle. Youngcle. Uncle Adam Scott. I don't think Adam Webb counts as a movie, TBH. Yes, thank you so much. You're welcome. I agree. So he does not count as a movie star, but we love our TV stars. We love having them on. They're so much better than novelists or other podcasters. Yeah. But novelists verbal or literary podcasters. Literary, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like I could write a book, you just write down everything I said on each podcast.

Literally, literally, so easy and they just go on and on and on and on. It's so boring. But today we have one of our lovely TV stars. We love our TV stars, don't we? I mean. We love watching them on our small screens. I love that.

And you know with the sizes of televisions these days, they're getting bigger and bigger. Yeah, that's true. I would say that, and then, you know, screens in the movie theaters with our multiplexers are getting smaller and smaller. Someday they'll meet in the middle and you won't know what you're watching. Yeah, and we'll all be the same kind of star.

Yes, finally. But she is a wonderful TV star that I first came across her work. I was very late to the party, but perhaps two months or so ago when we had Asa Vali on the show talking about Deli Boys. And at that point I had only seen one or two episodes when he was on, but then he came on a different show I do. And I was proud to tell him I completed the season and I watched all 10 episodes

and became a big fan of this person's work from that show. I didn't know you finished TV shows. I do, yeah. You just don't seem to have a respect for the art form so I just didn't know you finished it. She also has now her own show that she's top lining. Would you say you're above the title? Top lining. I haven't heard that one. Sounds a little explicit. She hasn't angled it yet. Yeah. I'm using variety stake here. What was the question? Are you above the title in this?

Yeah, I'm above the title. Yeah, I'm, I think, or I'm like right, oh, sorry. I'm like right in front of the title. I'm kind of like tit first in front of the title. If you look at all the billboards, I'm kind of tit first. Are you like Fast and Furious presenting Hobbs and Shaw in a way like?

I wish I knew that latter reference for the life of me. This is a generational thing, people don't know Fast and Furious anymore? No, no, Fast and Furious I do know Hobbs and Shaw. They presented Hobbs and Shaw, they started presenting movies. As you said Hobbs and Shaw, I thought Calvin and Hobbs. I'm gonna be totally honest with you.

The most famous Hobbs is Calvin and Hobbs, is it not? Of course, of course. And the most famous Shaw is... Robert Shaw from Jaws. Celebrating his 50th anniversary this year. Ooh, another movie. Hello. Hello. We love our movies.

But she has a new television show entitled Adults. And we'll figure out, don't worry fans of Call Sheet Talk, we'll figure out where she is on the call sheet. Yeah. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Ametha Rao. Hi. Hi. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Ametha Rao. Hi. Hi. Thanks for having me, Scott.

So wonderful to meet you. All right, let's get to it. What number are you? I'm four, I think. I'm four. Wow. There are five leads on the show? And it's telling that I am at the bottom,

considering I have the best body. You would think they would want to put someone like me at the top. Best body and body of work, I would say. Yes, thank you. You have a sexy body of work. Thank you, Scott. I was like, thank you.

I wasn't sure if we were gonna be able to talk about how sexy my body of work is. I like to compliment people on their bodies on the show. Up work. Yeah, up work, if they're in movies. And so, yeah, I am, it was a shame, honestly, that they didn't get up work. Yeah, up work if they're in movies. And so yeah, it was a shame honestly, that they didn't get fourth. What's going on with this?

You know what? I think I got in a contentious situation with some of the people on set. I think I was too cruel to some of the PAs. And I think they- Did they readjust you after the first couple of days? I used to be one, and then I came in and I slapped one of the PAs

and then they docked me down to four. Was the settlement that the PA was suddenly number one? Yeah, yeah, the PA shot up to one and I was like, she doesn't have a good body at all. Doesn't make sense to put her at the top. But you know what? It was a huge career transition for her and I'm happy I could help a woman succeed.

That's fantastic, I love that. The glass ceiling finally broken. Exactly, all I had to do is slap one. Yes. All I had to do was slap a bitch. But so your number four, if you were five, that would almost be better because I would go like, oh, obviously they're not, they're not doing this based on merits. No, no, no, totally. If I was five, I would be like, okay, this is a random draw situation or you have to make the others feel better. Put me at the way bottom. Sure. But we have, no, no, I was four,

which felt intentional. Yeah. And cruel. I would jockey for season two, and we all hope it gets season two, of course. Of course. Adults on FX currently. But I would jockey for next season

to readjust this and say, you know what? Would you come and fight for me? I would love to be your agent. You would be my agent? Yeah, I would jockey for next season to readjust this and say, you know what? Would you come and fight for me? I would love to be your agent. Or manager. You would be my agent? Yeah, I would love that. We could represent each other. Would you be mine? I would totally be yours.

I don't respect your art form either. So I think we would do a good thing for each other. Neither do I. Do you think you'd get me on Doughboys? Yes, totally. We need way more white guys on that show. We only have two. It's like Tim, Balz, and Jake.

We need at least one more. Three. Oh, and then you could be one of the call sheets. Actually, that was the great, Deli Boys, it wasn't Ossoff who was number one. It was actually- We talked about this. It was Tim. Oh, wait, what? What did Tim really?

No, no. Oh, okay. No, but wouldn't that be hilarious? The one white guy on the show was number one on the call sheet. No, no. It was awesome. No, he was two, as I recall. We talked about this.

Oh, Ossoff was? Yeah, I believe so. Was he not? Oh, I actually have no idea. Honestly, to be honest, I I recall. We talked about this. Oh, awesome was? Yeah, I believe so. Was he not? Oh, I actually have no idea. Honestly, to be honest, I think I've lied a lot so far.

Do you remember what you were on the day? Because how many days did you work? I imagine, let me guess. Can I guess how many days you worked? You were in three episodes, is that correct? Or four? I was in five, Scott. You were in five.

I was in five. Were you in the back five five or were you in like, popped up in four and then you- I didn't top line any of them for sure, but I was in the, I was in, well, I was in three, five, seven, nine and 10. Okay, so you went odd numbers for a while and then they're like, you know what?

They're like, that's confusing. Let's put the odd numbers and the evens together in our finale. And so you did five episodes. Let me guess how many days you worked, because you got that big wedding in the 10th episode. Spoiler! Spoiler alert.

It's been out for a while, guys. It's been out for a while. I love a spoiler alert. Do you have one on your phone? The spoiler alert? Anytime anyone spoils anything, you get an alert. No, I wish I had that on my phone. My friends are always spoiling shit for me

because I haven't consumed any media in like a decade. It feels like if you're even one week late to something, like I give you an example, I didn't watch Tiger King for a week and then I thought I've seen all the memes, I've seen all the jokes. There's no point to this anymore. I completely agree.

It's like media, but also I have to come clean on something. I, and this is my true opinion, I have a very diffuse media education and I think it's a very Gen Z thing where it's like most of my media education is like, I knew about Back to the Future from John Mulaney's joke about Back to the Future. Like, I like-

I mean, look, honestly, when Back to the Future came out, it's now been 40 years. Yeah, it was like one. When it, oh God. When it came out, I wasn't even alive yet, but I'm now, by the way, I was born in 1996. It's on a sliding scale now. But no, when it came out, if the movies that had come out 40 years earlier would have been 1945, who would be interested in them?

Why would anyone be interested in Back to the Future now? I mean, I think I literally, I can't even remember the movie because I was stoned last time I saw it. I'm like trying to think of it. So you've seen more than once, so the last time you saw it you were stoned. Well, I keep trying to have a media education, but every time I'm like, okay, I'm gonna sit down,

I'm gonna watch all of these movies. I'm always stoned. And then so it's like, doesn't mean anything. I'm like, great, I have like a bad memory of it. It's like, honestly, it's worse than before because now I can't even contribute to it because I'm like, it mean anything. And I'm like, great, I have like a bad memory of it. It's like, honestly, it's worse than before because now I can't even contribute to it because I'm like, it's like. At least before you had somewhat of an idea culturally

of like what people were talking about. Exactly. Now you've seen like you have a hazy recollection of. I don't feel confident because it feels like every time I have like dementia and I feel insecure when I start talking about it because I'm like, oh, you're gonna learn. Did I imagine that or is that something I actually saw?

Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, you're gonna learn that I have a deteriorating mind. Wow. So what is, and we love movies, don't we? What is your favorite movie then? And is it something that came out recently? You know, I can't see this, but he has a gun to my head

and it's very scary. My favorite movie is probably I, Tonya. I fucking love I, Tonya. Please don't joke about I, Tonya. I fucking love I, Tonya. Please don't joke about I, Tonya this Christmas, by the way. Oh, what? Nevermind, it's a joke. Is that when she hit her?

Oh, Christmas? Is it a Christmas movie? Does I, Tonya count as a Christmas movie? Like Batman Returns and Die Hard 2? I think so. It's in the snow, it's in the ice rink. Yeah. It's Christmas. I think every ice movie should be Christmas.

Yeah, Frozen, obviously obviously is a Christmas movie, but like anytime there's anyone like putting ice into someone's drink, that's Christmas. Christmas, that's Christmas to me. Every time I go to a restaurant, I get ice. That's a little mini Christmas. The ice storm when they're swapping wives. Do you know about that?

Mm-hmm. Key parties, do you know what those are? Is it a swinger thing? It is a swinger. Swingers, do you know about that? Oh, I know about swingers. You don't need to be, you can be young and know about swingers.

Sure, swingers crosses all generational divides. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. Vegas baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Vegas baby. Tell us about adults, adults is out on FX right now,

people can watch this. Would it surprise you to learn that I've watched two episodes? Oh my God, yes. I don't know if this is an Asif situation where I'm gonna go the full 10, you'll have to come back and find out at some point, as he did. By the way, I made him promise,

and perhaps you'll make the Asif Ali promise here on the show, that I am his first call when he hears about whether the show was canceled or picked up. Oh my God, really? And he's, and we're going to record it live on the show. Wait, that's awesome. So would you like to make the Ossifali Promise here on the show? Oh, Scott.

This is before your loved ones. This is before your agent. I mean, your agent presumably is gonna call you about this. No, no, those people don't matter to me. Thank you. Like you. Thank you. That would be great if they were renewed

or canceled on the same day. So I was like fielding to call, oh my God, Anita's calling, Asif's calling, oh my God. Oh my God, wait, that would be a great episode for you. It would be so cool if one was a yes and one was a no and then we'd have the full spectrum of emotions. Oh, that'd be like reality TV. Yeah, I would love that.

One sobbing, one of us, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. In any case, tell us about Adults. It's out on FX, your number four on the call sheet. Exactly what's going on in the show? The show is about a group of 20-somethings navigating. What are we talking about? Are we talking 21? 23 to 26. Between 23 and 26, that's the range?

Yeah, we thought that was the most relatable demographic. We said this is the one that people relate to. So no one... Do you think there will be, if there's a season two, will there be a birthday party where someone's like 27 and then everyone kind of goes like, this dude's a drag? Yeah, I think once we hit 27, they'll cancel the show. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they're kind of just, right now, this is for right now, as soon as we hit 27, it's like, you know, you age out. You know, that's why the Simpsons, they don't age. Originally, they were gonna age, but then they were like- Because they lose their insurance? Yeah.

Oh. Cartoon insurance. Oh my God. That makes so much sense. Because they're always hurting themselves. There are myths out there that if Bart or Barth as some people call him, El Bartow perhaps you've heard of him. Yeah no I call him El Bartow. That if he reaches the age of 13 he becomes a real boy and no longer a cartoon. Barth. And that's why they're keeping him where

they are because they know they can enslave him in these cartoons and just keep him working for decade upon decade. I mean honestly it's a good idea to do it because if he got out, he'd be too powerful. Do you think that you guys could ever or should ever be a cartoon show on adults? Yeah, I think we should switch to cartoon as soon as we start aging out. I think as soon as our faces start to go,

as soon as our bodies start to go. As soon as there's like crow's feet on one of you. Yeah, exactly. Just like, let's turn this into a cartoon. Yeah, yeah, we don't wanna do the whole Botox thing, just switch it to cartoon. I love that. So tell us what the show actually is about

other than being about 20-somethings. The show is about more than being 23 or 26. The show is about a group of 20-somethings navigating just like the highs and lows of adulthood. But, emerging adulthood. What about the mids? The mids, the mids are explored, but they're a little more boring.

That's a skippable episode. Why film them? That's what I've always said. Like if nothing's happening, let's not film today. No, totally, totally. And you know, there are a couple of mids. There's a couple of mids we filmed and you can, yeah, I understand if you skip them.

Leave them on the cutting room floor. That's the other thing is like, why does Jackie Chan, why does he film these stunts if he's not gonna do it right? Like you watch these movies and he's like constantly fucking up at the end where they're like, oh no, he actually fell or he got hit by a stick or whatever.

It's like, no, just don't film those. Yeah, yeah. Like film it when he's doing it right. I know, like cut the camera. It's like, honestly rude. It's like he did it right so many times. Why'd you film it when he got hit by that stick? Do you ever watch one of your shows,

Adults, which is on FX now, and they leave in a take where someone forgets a line, and you're like, why did they do that? I actually personally have the belief that almost always, if you have a worst take, that will be chosen. Yeah. That will be the one chosen, and that will be the one that everyone's like,

it's amazing, and it will be the one that everyone's like, it's amazing. Yeah. And it's always the worst one. I've heard that about other shows with casts of five or six where they're jockeying to get their lines in and not cut and the mind games that they play with the rest of the people where like, if everyone's going high, they go super low.

So there's variety that's like, well, they have to cut to me if like I'm the only one not freaking out or whatever. Or like even going even higher or whatever. Do you guys do any of that with the cast of adults on FX now? Yeah, we were always playing mind games with each other. We were trying to make sure, we were trying to get under each other's skin

because we wanted the show, we wanted everyone to know that in the second puberty of adulthood, because that's really what it is. It's like the other puberty you have, because that's really what it is. You're in your 20s, it's like the other puberty you have, because you're transitioning from being a young, like kind of incubated infant. Does everyone grow extra pubes on this show?

Was that part of it? Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. Oh, cool. That was actually part of the mind game. So whoever had the biggest bush actually had, would sometimes shoot to the number one of call sheet, which is why it was so confusing that I was four, because I had been growing mine for like years and then I got a mercant on top of it. And it was like, I like, I literally don't know what happened.

I honestly think, I think it was a Nick thing. Yeah, yeah. Nick Kroll is of course what you're talking about and who you're talking about. Yeah. But Nick Kroll is one of the producers of the show. Nick, of course, we heard from, on a previous episode talking about it.

And- Did he talk about the Bush thing? He did. We may have cut it out. I can't recall if our editing machine is still broken or not. Yeah, he's weird about it. But yeah, he's a strange guy about it. But how did Nick get involved in this?

Because he's, I watched the show and I'm like, oh, this is Nick Kroll. And then he's nowhere to be found. Yeah. And I'm like, and then suddenly his name pops up. I'm like, you're not in this, you're a liar. And then it just says above his name, it says produced by. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Tell us about this.

Yeah, I know, it's so confusing. He would just kind of stand offset. We actually didn't know why he was there. He said he was helping, but then he would always be knocking on our trailers during weird times. Like a helper monkey or something like that? Yeah, it was like he was there to help, but then he would always be knocking on our trailers during weird times. Like a helper monkey or something like that? Yeah, he was there to help, but then he would just stare. It was super weird.

And then again, he had that whole thing where he was kind of adjudicating the whole Bush ordeal. And yeah, I just feel like his personal bias really got in the way of that. Strange guy. You see that movie, The Help? Yeah. They make a shit pie in that. What do you think of that? I think I'd love a slice. It looked delish. It looks really good. The idea of it is disgusting,

but I'll be damned if I didn't watch that movie going like, I might wanna try that. Yeah, no, totally. Yeah, exactly. Well, Adults is on FX now. People can watch it. Should I give an actual description? I feel like every time.

No, I think we did it. Great. And we do need to get to our next guest, but Amitha Rao is here and it's exciting to have a TV show. These are the great years of your life. Thank you, Scott. You know, when you don't have a TV show anymore, you kind of are just mentally ticking down the clock

until death is what I found. Yeah, yeah, totally. How's it been in the last few years? Not great. All right, let's get to our next guest. He is, I hyped this up. He is an eccentric multimillionaire. Please welcome to the show for the first time H.M. Rosemont.

Hello, Scott. Thank you so much for having me. What a classy voice you have, sir. Thank you so much. Wow, this is Amitha. Ah, Amitha, how are you? Hi, H.S. Morton. Can I hear you? H.M. actually. H.M. H.M. So sorry, H. Thank you so much. Wow, this is Amitha. Ah, Amitha, how are you? Hi, H.S. Morton. Can I hear you?

H.M., actually. H.M., so sorry, H.S. is mine. Here's how you remember it. You go, him? Oh, let's take out the I. Oh, great. Interesting, yes. What's his last name? Rosemont.

Or you think of the H.M.S. Pinafore, and you say, like, I'm gonna take off S. Pinafore. Oh, that's actually more helpful, thank you. Okay, great. These are great mnemonics. One of the most awkward words one can say. You keep pointing up as you talk in very classy ways. Very classy. Oh, you don't know it as a, pardon me for saying it,

low class piece of shit. But when you are refined, you learn to point up, an index finger up to indicate, ah, I have a point. Oh, wow, I'm gonna steal that. And when you drink, when cop your tea, pinky up. Pinky up. Pinky up. A lot of classes pointing up. A lot of people do pinky down.

I'm like, you piece of shit. That is a giveaway, a giveaway of poor breeding. Poor education. So tell us, H.M. Rosemont, now you're a multi-millionaire, which is great, because like, only having one of those millions. That's not very many. You need multi before you're really in play. Now, but here's what's interesting,

because these days, anyone can be a multimillionaire, honestly, just go on Big Brother, win that, and then segue into the Amazing Race. They love casting Big Brother or Survivor people on that. So it's just like, wait, win Survivor and then win the Amazing Race right in a row. I'm not quite as invested in this world. Two years, that's two million right there.

I guess that's not so easy to do what you're saying, but yes, I suppose it's more commonplace than it used to be. I look at those shows and I go like, why are you even on if you're not gonna win it? You know what I mean? Let me get this straight, you are disdaining them if they're intending to not win or something like that?

The fact that they are on and they don't win, it's like, just go on and win. Yes. It's embarrassing. They just fall, fall, fall, fall. Yes, I don't know if it's as worthy as disdain. So you're a reality TV lover, it sounds like. I'm in deep, I love it. I have empathy to everyone on reality shows. I find they're all a hundred percent good people.

You're an empathetic guy. I'd like to think so, yes. I'd like to think so. Wonderful. I love that. I think we need more empathy in the world. Me too. There's not enough. More empathetic millionaires. Yes, but here's what I wanted to point out. And I'm sorry to jump in. Multi-millionaire. Just to separate me, but yes, thank you for the compliment.

No, and thank you for the clarification, Rosemont. But you asked to be described as an eccentric multi-millionaire. Yes. What is your eccentricity of note? I think I'm fun, okay? So let's start right there. All right. So I think, you know, I'm not coming in being a cliche multi-millionaire.

I have, and Scott, I think you're gonna like this, a mansion of puzzles. A mansion of puzzles. I destroyed my family mansion and reconstructed a mansion comprised of puzzles. Wow. Meaning the actual construction is comprised of puzzles or you have a mansion that's a normal like McMansion thing that has a lot of puzzles in it. Not gonna do a McMansion, okay?

This is a gothic tutor stone. This is a classy affair, all right? So let's cut, let's nip that in the bud. Let's nip that right in the bud. Now you held two fingers up like you're doing something different. Scissors, scissors. Oh, okay, scissors. Nipping.

All up, okay. Yeah, yeah. I know, okay, now I see what you... Oh, I don't have the exciting sex life of a podcaster that would come to my mind. Puzzles. No, like mazes. So like what, the doors fit into the square that the doors usually fit into?

Okay, yes, there's some jigsaw puzzle. Because every house is a puzzle in that regard. Wouldn't you agree, H.M.? Ah, point you, Sir Ackerman. But, uh, no, there are more than just jigsaw puzzles in my mansion. There are different varieties of puzzle. Word puzzles. Logic. Hedge mazes.

Hedge mazes. Inside the mansion. Yes! Wow. That must get very messy. It's a bad idea that I have to stick with, but in the basement, there are moldy hedge mazes in need of trimming and navigating. So trim them. Okay, I'll get on it. Good heavens, you know. This is an easily fixable problem.

Well, I wasn't saying it was, I wasn't coming to you, ah, how am I going to fix my... Okay, you know what? You know what? I apologize because you're just venting and I am a typical male trying to fix your problem rather than just listening. You know what? I want to thank you for hearing me. I have a question. Oh, yes. Hi, Rosemont.

Thank you. Mr. Rosemont, yes. Sorry, I keep messing this up. Quite all right. I'm just not used to it. You're doing great. You're a little nervous, I understand. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, this is a multi-millionaire. I know, and I'm not used to talking to multi- doing great. You're a little nervous, I understand. No, I just, yeah, yeah. I mean, this is a multi-millionaire. I know, and I'm not used to talking to multi-millionaires. I forgot paying me for something. So I just wanted to ask, like the word logic puzzles, like what do you, how was the house constructed? Okay, so glad you asked. Every room to proceed to the next room, one must solve the puzzle of that room.

Oh my God. Or you cannot proceed. Has anyone ever died in a room? Not being able to proceed. Okay, I'm not really legally supposed to. Come on, Rosemont. Yes, a bunch have died. Yes.

A lot of people have died. Can I ask an even more pressing question that's on my mind? Yes. Is the bathroom one of the last rooms you can get to? The bathroom's about halfway through. Oh God. So if you show up at my place needing to pee-pee or poo-poo,

you better be good at puzzles or you're gonna be out in the yard. Oh, that. Out in the yard? I mean, you're in the foyer, there's a puzzle right in the foyer. Do you have a toilet out in the yard? No, but I'm just like, that's-

This must come up all the time. It does, and people just, I'm like, hey. Do you have an outhouse out there or something? No, no. If just like that this must come up all the time It does and people just I'm like hey to have an outhouse out there something no no if I built an outhouse I'll have a puzzle outside that outhouse probably a moon So you prefer people to shit in broad daylight in the open air I don't prefer it, but I prefer well I prefer that to breaking the integrity of the puzzle rule to be honest Mr.. Rosemont it seems like you have quite a derogatory you perceive. Have you been lying up until now um I mean yes Okay, what would you say to be honest, Mr. Rosemont, it seems like you have quite a derogatory, you perceive those- Have you been lying up until now? I mean, yes.

Okay. Why would you say to be honest? Yes. Are you untrustworthy in some regard? I would say that I do have a history of being a pathological liar. And that is true. But I wanted you guys to know that right now I'm being honest. But I was just, because it's an appraisal of you. So that's nothing to do with my history or past.

So no need to lie. You don't need to gain anything here. You can just shit on me freely. A hundred percent. Okay. It seems like you have a pretty derogatory opinion of those who can't solve puzzles. It seems like you think they're worse than dogs. Is that true?

Okay. I wasn't going to make it animal comparison, but yeah, I guess I'd put them worse than dogs. Yeah. Dogs are pretty low. Yes, but not as bad as, okay. Let's see. Let's rank these. Humans who can solve puzzles are high. Yeah. Dogs are pretty low, yes, but not as bad as, okay. Let's rank these.

Humans who can solve puzzles are high. Okay, let's rank these five things. Humans who can solve puzzles. Okay. Humans who can't solve puzzles. Oh, that's lower. Dogs. Higher in between those two.

Millionaires. Regular, just one sole. Just regular millionaires. Okay. And then podcasters. Okay, podcasters we know right at the bottom. Top people who can solve puzzles. Then I guess I'm gonna say regular millionaires,

then dogs, then people who can't solve puzzles, and then podcasters. Then podcasters, okay. That's pretty fair. Yeah, I would say that's good. But man, people who can't solve puzzles just are with podcasters. Well, I find that people who can't solve puzzles

tend to be mentally undisciplined, lazy, boring, bored and boring. So what got you so interested in puzzles and what are the types of puzzles you normally like? And then- I like all types of puzzles. Okay. But I have one I brought for you.

Okay. Oh, I love this. Is this one of the puzzles that's at your house? No, this was a proposed puzzle that was very, very good, but we didn't need it, so it's sort of a deleted scene. So it's on the discard pile. That's right. It's on the discard pile, but it's a good example of what we try to do at the Rosemont Mansion.

Amita, are you good at puzzles? I'm very good at puzzles. What kind of puzzles do you do every day? That was a lie. I am not good at puzzles. But I do enjoy do you do every day? That was a lie. I am not good at puzzles. But I do enjoy them. I hope that doesn't change your opinion. What does that mean, you enjoy them,

but you're not good at them? I like to look at them. I like to look at them from afar. So you pass by, like you'll pass by a puzzle. Don't put a puzzle near me, I'll stop and stare. I will stop. Give it a cursory glance. Move on after what? I wish it was cursory.

60 seconds, 120. I can't move on, I love them. You love them. So you just stand there wrapped in attention. I stay. If a car would hit me. That puts me in quite a pickle because you enjoy them, but I'm getting from your vibe that you don't care about solving them so much. So you're a vibes guy?

Big time, yes. Oh. Wow, okay, that's good to know. I go by vibes. Yeah, yeah. Okay, was there a vibe shift here in the room at all? I detected a slight vibe shift. I felt it when I said I wasn't good at puzzles,

the vibe completely changed. I mean, yes, I think there was, yes, there was a vibe shift. And I am a vibes guy. HM, what is this puzzle? Okay, sorry, you're looking at the clock. Here we go, ready? The turtles are all dancing together once more. Lots of shapes being traced on the floor. One shape in particular makes

them cause such a scene. Maybe we need to chill about AI. That was a haiku? That's a poem. Oh, thank you. It was a poem that had an A-A-B-C rhyme scheme. Yes. Which I think is very interesting. The A-A-B-C rhyme scheme underused.

Yeah, definitely underused. The AABC rhyme scheme, underused. Definitely underused. The turtles are all dancing. Wait, was there an answer? I don't think there's a question. Yeah, there was no question posed in the- Okay, so here's how it would work. You come into the foyer, right?

This poem's sort of carved in- Are you allowed in the house without solving a puzzle? Anybody can go in the foyer. Oh, how wonderful. Foyer's gotta just open- So wait, anyone at all? You could anyone, it's open right now. So it's open to the public?

That's correct. Okay. But then every subsequent public. So why wouldn't I just shit in the foyer? Yeah, good question. Don't do that, all right? Oh, don't do that. You're the guy who's blocking.

I'm giving you the yard. Giving us the yard? Go out in the yard. No, no. It's wonderful, tendon-crest. Like a dog? Yeah. Something that's almost as bad as a podcaster?

Aren't you a podcaster? I mean. I mean, I was a screenwriter first. And he was on TV. Yeah, I had a TV show. Okay, all right. Well, nonetheless, even people- Times are bad now, sure.

You'll get it going again. Oh, I doubt that. I think any heat, any residual buzz I had has long since dissipated. But anyways. I think it'll come around. Okay. But no, you're welcome to shit in the yard and I think that's quite generous.

Just don't shit in the foyer. Back to your puzzle. Okay, I didn't think it was going anywhere, but listen, in the wood, you come in, there's a big plank of wood in the room and this would be carved into it and you have to look around the room and using that poem, figure out how to open the door. Okay, well we're not in the wood, you come in, there's a big plank of wood in the room and this would be carved into it and you have to look around the room and using that poem, figure out how to open the door.

Okay, well we're not in the room, so how are we supposed to solve this? Okay, well I'll describe the room to you. Okay. You're in the foyer, all right, there's a... I've just taken a shit in the corner. Yeah, it smells in the foyer. If that really happened,

then we're not gonna solve the puzzle. Does that play into the puzzle at all? My human shit? No, I have to get my butler to come clean up your human shit and reset the puzzle. With the smell, I can't focus on the puzzle. Don't forget about the shit. No one should, trust me.

If you were in the foyer and you had to shit, okay? So you're saying come having had. Yes, come having shit. Be ready or be real good at puzzles because there's a bathroom like six rooms in. Six rooms, okay. That's too many. That's too many. No, it's not too many. Anyway, describe the room. It's not enough. because there's a bathroom like six rooms in. Six rooms, okay. That's too many. That's too many.

No, it's not too many. Anyway, describe the room. It's not enough, so it's a marble room. Okay. Classy. You said it was a stone outside? The most of the building is stone. Is it Tudor?

Gothic Tudor. I thought the building was made of puzzle. Okay, look, this isn't hard, all right? The style of mansion is a Gothic Tudor stone mansion. But the rooms, Tudor. But the stones are fit together like a puzzle. I mean, just only in the way that every building with stones is sort of like a puzzle together.

But are there any like- You could say that any brick wall is a puzzle. Any holes in it, like, oh, I lost a piece or anything like that? No, it's, there's solid, well, there's some false walls on the outside that are by design. But other than that, no, it all just fits together.

What else is in this room? The foyer. And the ship. There's no ship, okay? Oh, the public seat. There's a round pedestal with six coins, two keys, and a gem. Six... what? Coins, two keys, and a gem.

And a gem. Six what? And a round... It's, look, six coins. Six coins., six what? A round, it's six coins. I forget it every time. Two keys. Yeah, say it one more time. One gem. Six coins, okay, what types of coins?

Gold, the blues. The answer is the key. Huh? I'm sorry, move on. No, no, Amitha took a stab at it. The answer is the key. Hey, how many guesses are we allowed by the way? Infinite guesses.

Just infinite, and you just can't move on until. You just can't move on to the You just can't move on until... The answer is the key. Why not guess it? The answer is the key. The answer is the key. The answer is one of the coins. Was that correct?

It's called a red herring. The poem has nothing to do with the solution of the first room. And the answer was the key? You take the key and the key opens any of the three doors. You're a genius. Yes. I am good at puzzles. I wasn't lying before.

Wow. Yes. Oh my God. What are the coins? Can I keep them? before. Wow. Yes. Oh my God. What are the coins? Can I keep them? No, they're fake. They're gold. The facsimiles of gold doubloons.

Are they chocolate? No, they're just sort of tin gold plated sort of. Just kind of. Can I have them though? Yeah, you could have them. Oh, great. Okay, do you have any more? Well, in this hypothetical example,

no, there's just six in there. No, but. On me right now? No, in your house or... Yeah, there's a bunch. There's a bunch scattered around. You have like a swimming pool filled with gold coins. I don't do the Uncle Scrooge thing.

Uncle Scrooge, Scrooge McDuck. He might be an uncle though, you're right. I'm pretty sure. It's not how I would describe him if I wanted people to know who I was talking about. Like I think the duck part of it is very Important to his whole thing. Yeah, I and you're a vibe guy. I am a vibe guy Look, no disrespect meant to Scrooge if I were to say hey uncle Scrooge is coming by a different vibe a different vibe I mean who would you think I'm talking about?

I would think uncle Scrooge is like just finished his little roller skating class and is coming by to give us some cake Thank you. Scrooge McDuck. Anyone would feel that way. Look, I'm friends with Scrooge McDuck and the guy says uncle all the time. So I'm not disrespecting him. He calls himself uncle?

That's weird. He says, hello, I'm uncle Scrooge. That's weird. Weird duck. I think it is weird, but I call people by what they wanna be called. I don't think he has a nephew. That's weird.

He does have nephews. It doesn't matter. I believe Huey, Dewey, Louie and... Donald. Donald's not a nephew. Oh wait, no, Donaldhews. I believe Huey, Dewey, Louie and- Donald. Donald's not a nephew. Oh wait, no, Donald's the uncle of Huey, Dewey and Louie. So who is Scrooge McDuck to Donald? He's everybody's uncle.

Weird. I like that at all. That's sketchy. Someone were to introduce themselves as, I'm everybody's uncle. That's the guy that touches the portal. It does sound sad. Let's immediately arrest them, citizens arrest.

Citizens arrest. Take them down to the precinct. I have coins, facsimiles of gold doubloons scattered everywhere. Okay. The six in the first room. But they're not worth anything? They're not, no. So why have them?

Because they're tokens which you need to solve puzzles later. Oh, so they're like, you can put them in a slot. You can insert them into certain machines. I mean, they take all the coins. Really? And the keys. Oh my God. And the shit that's in the corner. Wait,, they take all the coins. Really? And the keys. Oh my God.

And the shit that's in the corner. Wait, so if Scott has the coins and the keys, he can give it to me? In the hypothetical? Yes, yes. We're allowed to share? You're working together as a team, absolutely. Did we come in together as a team?

I'm gonna say yes. Or just anyone who enters is automatically a team? Because I- It's up to them. I'm more of a solo rogue kind of life. You guys have to choose whether to work together or not. Oh, I don't know. I know. You did get that key thing.

You solved the puzzle. I mean, I feel like I would be a good fit for you. Yeah, but am I a good fit for you? I mean, I feel like- Do we need another white man solving puzzles? I mean, I think I do. I think I do. I think the puzzle sphere is-

Puzzles were constructed by white men mainly. So I think that my point of view is necessary and important. No, I think you're going to be able to unlock it. I think puzzles, I'm like. I mean, you were the one who solved the first one. Yeah, I mean, but who am I? Just a brown woman? Okay, not my words or my thoughts.

No, no, no. Certainly something that I don't agree with. No, no, guys, you can agree. You say it, say it. No, no, no, no. Say what you think about my. No, no, guys. You can agree. You say it. Say it. No, no, no. Say what you think about my race and gender. Just say it.

How about another puzzle? Okay, one more puzzle. One more puzzle and that's it. We're coming up on a break. Quick. I get your meaning. I'll hurry it right up. So you go, which door do you go, left, straight or right?

What do you think? Ladies' choice. Scott, I think we should go left. Okay, left. Left. And left is- No, no, no, right. Scott, I think we should go left. Okay, left. And left is- No, no, no, right. Okay, let's go right. Okay.

Do you use that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're really going right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think his mind's clear, he just took a shit. Okay, right is the pool room. There's a swimming pool. Can I swim in the coins?

There's no coins, it's water. So you have a different pool filled with coins? There's no pool filled with, at no point will you come across a pool filled with coins. Why's no pool filled with, at no point will you come across a pool filled with coins. Why did you say that earlier? Yeah. What the hell?

You said that earlier and I did not. It is a regular pool. I don't know why it was ever even brought up. Yeah. If you're not gonna eventually have a coin filled pool. You know what? I don't know why either. I don't know why either.

I wouldn't have come into the house. Hey, we're come up on a break. Can we get to this puzzle? Here's the puzzle. The piglets are snorting and making a quilt. So many bright colors it takes to get such a thing built. Can you go back? The piglets are snorting and making a quilt.

So many bright colors it takes to get such a thing built. There's red and there's green and there's yellow and blue. Which color is the one that will make this get through? Ooh, I didn't think that one was gonna rhyme at the end. Yeah, wow, that's a different- That's a totally different rhyme. AABB rhymes. Yeah.

That one's overused. Well, what- Let's be cool, but it's a classic for a reason. Overused. What were the colors he mentioned because those are red herrings in it? Red and green and yellow and blue. Red, green, yellow, blue, okay, so it's not any of those.

In the rooms around the pool are some swim trunks, stack of towels. What color are the swim trunks? The white with blue trim. And- Sort of like a sailor vibe? Like a- Bit of a sailor vibe, yeah.

Like an Uncle Donald Duck. I guess, yeah. It is something that Donald Duck would wear. So you're like a duck guy. Not, look, I wasn't thinking about the ducks. So you're like, you have some sort of weird duck fetish? Not at all. Your vibe is duck fetish, huh? Not at all. I'm duck agnostic. I notice you don't have any pants just like Donald Duck. That's right, I'm not wearing pants, but that's a multi-millionaire thing.

Okay, so when I introduce you as eccentric multimillionaires because you're not wearing pants? No, I'm an eccentric multimillionaire because I'm a fun guy who breaks cliches. Not wearing pants is because I don't believe in convention. In the pool room are seven coins, four keys, two gems. Seven coins, four keys. We have a lot of coins.

We're lousy with coins at this point. We have so many coins and we can trade them. We can do anything we want with them. You know what though, and are there doors? There's two doors. I think we just use the keys and unlock one of these doors. That works, the keys open the door. Oh my God!

So all that rest is another red herring. We start you off with a couple red herrings. Can I just say, HM, it sounds like all of your puzzles, the solution are just take the key and open the door. No, just so far. Just so far. Trust me. There's people who've died in my mansion. How many rooms are in this mansion? 45.

Oh my God. And how many of these puzzles, the answer is opening the door with a key. Now, I'll tell you, but you sure you want to have this ruined? Because if you have ever come by... We'll give a spoiler alert. Hey, spoiler alert, everyone. Thank you very much. To anyone going to HM's. We'll give a spoiler alert. Hey, spoiler alert, everyone. Thank you. Anyone going to HM's mansion?

Here's a spoiler alert. Out of the 45 rooms, 44 are opened just by the keys in the room. And what's the, what about the 45th? That is a, uh, you got to punch your way out. Like through, through what? Punch the door down with your fist, punch through stone. Has anyone been able to do that? Not yet.

Oh, so that's where they're dead. Yeah, okay. That's where they're dead. Yeah, but everyone else has figured out the key thing. The key thing people figured out pretty quick and they kind of rocket right through most of the room. And then everyone just dies on the punch your way out one. That's right.

This is a death trap. For them, you know, not for everybody. For anyone who's ever entered. Anybody who- You said no one has ever punched their way out. No, but not everybody, a lot of people ever entered. Anybody who gets- You said no one has ever punched their way out. No, but not everybody. A lot of people get bored. How many corpses are in this room

that people are supposed to punch their way out of? What's not that many to you, HM? Seven. Seven? Oh my God. Seven. Seven's not that many. Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, tell that to Kevin Spacey and Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman.

From the movie Seven? Yeah. Did you get that reference? After you said it. HM, you're a weird guy, but hey, you came on, you said you were an eccentric multimillionaire. I warned you. I gotta give it to you.

We need to take a break though. Okay. When we come back, we're gonna have a being and we also have a substitute teacher on the show. This is an exciting show. Kinda seems like descending orders of weirdness. Just from the billing. I thought you were gonna say descending orders of value

because you valued substitute teachers less. Yeah, podcasters started. Yeah, how good is the substitute teacher of puzzles? I guess we'll have to find out. I will find out, but we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Amitha Rao. We're gonna have more H.M. Rosemont plus a being and a substitute teacher.

We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we are back. We have Amitha Rao from Adults, which happens to be on the effects channel. Effects. Effects, yes. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I said, right? You said it right, yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's what I said, right? Mm-hmm. You said it right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like...

Like special effects. Like CGI in Jurassic Park, for instance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the dinosaurs. Anytime you see a dinosaur on screen, that's a special effect. Yeah. Otherwise, there'd be dinosaurs in every movie, and people would just call dinosaurs an effect. Yeah.

No. But dinosaurs are a very special effect. They're incredibly special. We actually have a couple of those in the show. Do you really? Mm-hmm. We're mixing a lot of genres. We're doing like young adult, dinosaur, horror. Are these the dinosaurs from the TV show Dinosaurs?

You know, the Not the Mama? I don't know if this is one of your- Absolutely no way she's going to know this. Yeah, this is from that's from the- So you have to be late 30s to know this? Interesting. We have a couple of those guys on there. Yeah, we do.

And the show is out now and people can check it out on the effects channel or on the effects app. And is all the cursing in the show. Look, I don't wanna brag that I got a Holly weird screener. Do they bleep it out when it's on TV or does a hundred percent of it get in? They bleep out fuck and shit, but they let me keep in cunt and they also- Interesting.

Yeah, yeah. Wow, some British censors. Super British, super British. All the producers are British. Yeah. Right, because cunt and I think in Britain you can say cunt just like any which way. Yeah, I think they say it in like Disney movies. Yeah, you can cunt your way on down to the super cunted-

No, no, and that's kind of like, that's exactly what every line sounds like to be honest. Okay, movies. Yeah, you can cunt your way on down to the super cunted. No, no, and that's exactly what every line sounds like, to be honest. Hey, can we stop saying cunt? I'm so sorry, yes. Oh, do you have to censor that on this? My apologies. No, I mean, we're out of bleeps, so we've been out of bleeps for the last eight years,

I believe, but unfortunately. I apologize for my profane language. And I apologize for my cunt. I think pasta pasta was gonna, each one is $50,000. She bleeped out a few on her last appearance, but unfortunately we don't have that kind of a budget. Shame. But we do need to get to our next guest.

I mentioned we have a bean on the show. Oh my God, I'm so excited to see them. This is very exciting because this is one of the big ones. When you're talking beans. Yeah. You know that song, if you're talking body. Yes. Well, just substitute body for beings.

And then suddenly you get what I'm talking about because if you're talking beings, this is one of the biggies. I can't wait. We have, and please welcome them to the show, Death is on the show. Incredible. Hi, hello.

Hi. Hi. Hello. So nice to meet you. Nice to see you. You've been sitting here for a while. Just hanging. I'm Hello. So nice to meet you. Nice to see you. You've been sitting here for a while. Just hanging.

I'm sorry. So nice to meet you. I had hoped not to meet you quite so soon, if you know what I mean. Well, you haven't had a TV show for a little while, so. Yeah, yeah. What are we doing here? Yeah.

Hey, unfortunately, I do have to kill someone at the table today. That is why I'm here. Oh, why? I know, I know. Wait, I just thought that you were on the show to promote what you have going on. Well, I mean, what I have going on is. I thought, wait, I just thought that you were on the show to like promote what you have going on.

Yeah. Well, I mean, what I have going on is that I do kill people. That's like what I do. Yeah, but I mean, you don't want to just do this, you know, for exposure or anything? Do you have to work while you're- Oh, well, I mean, look, the thing is I'm eventually going to kill someone. Okay. I'll just let you know right now.

Don't touch me right now. You will die. HM. Touch you? Oh, I was about to. I was reaching in for the hug, with a little half hug. Because we know each other, I'm at the mansion a lot. You guys were about to do, yeah, the seven people. Yeah. You guys were about to do a bro hug.

Yeah, I was going in for the bro hug. He's coming to bro hug it out. You're doing like a sort of a over the top clasping of hands. Over the top clasping, minimal contact and shoulder area only. A patting of the back. Little grunt. Yeah, but thank God you didn't make it. Yeah, no, we're also not that good of friends.

Me and my friends, we call you the stinky house guy. Okay. Everyone's shitting in there, everyone's shitting in the garden. Stinky house? Stinky house guy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The shit doesn't stay around that long, okay?

We clean that up pretty fast. But why doesn't the butler clean the corpses? He won't be able to punch his way out. He gets stuck, yeah. So yeah, I do unfortunately do need to kill someone by the end of this, but. Do you know who you're? I do, yeah.

Oh, okay. So it's predetermined. Yeah. So we have no free will? Yeah, pretty much, yeah. It's basically kind of like I wake up every day and there's like a name in front of my eyeballs, you know? And I just, I can't, it doesn't go away

until I touch that person. No, it's horrible. So wait, this is like, goo goo glasses? That's the exact analogy we use is goo goo glasses. Goo goo glasses. Yeah, goo goo glasses is exactly the analogy we use. That song you said when you brought me on, that's the song analogy we use as well. If you're talking about it.

That's right. Yes, exactly. Those are the ones. Yes. Can I make an observation? Please, exactly. Those are the ones. Um, yes. Um, can I make an observation? Please, please. You seem so, uh, dare I say, chill? Sure. You have a chill vibe.

Sure. I mean, JM is a... HM. ...or HM, rather, sorry, is a vibe. Oh, God. Now the vibe's gonna shift again. I was thinking... Sorry, I was thinking of my favorite JM, of course, Jersey Mike's. Oh. It's a great one. Get it the JM way. Above... Let's rank our JM's. Above Jason Manzoukas. Uh, JM Demet course, Jersey Mike's. Oh, that's a great one. Get it the JM way.

Above it, let's rank our JM's. Okay. Above Jason Manzoukas. Okay. JM DiMatteis, the comic book writer. Sure, of course. Yes. Those are the only three I can think of.

Okay. Well, yeah, I'm pretty chill. Hi, Dad. Hi, I'm chill, because, you know, I think humans have like a, y'all are really caught up in that death is bad, you know? I have to admit what I think. To me, not that it's- Anyone who's ever died that I've been close to,

I wished it hadn't happened. Fair. That's fair. Right. You know what I mean? But it's what I do, right? So it's kind of like, you might think like, ooh, garbage is stinky,

but if you're touching garbage all day, then it's just kind of what you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get adjusted to it. Right, and also I'm trying to, hey, sometimes like this one, I gotta kill one of you today. Right? But this is fun, I'll hang for a little bit. I'll see what's up, let's see how life is.

I gotta be honest, I thought some bad things about you and your profession in the past. I'm just gonna come clean with that. Okay. You know, you're a bummer. Hey, Jeff. When you enter someone's situation. The way you dress, I mean,

the most charitable characterization is it's kind of emo and goth, but... Oh, well, see, interesting, because I look, I appear to different people on what they want to see at the end of their life. Yes, you're seeing emo and goth, and I'm seeing third wave ska. Right, yes. Yeah, Amitha, what musical genre are you seeing? I'm seeing a fun little hip-hop girl. There you go! Wow, that's how it is, right.

See, and I think that's reflective of also, I just wanna say apart from them, I am a huge fan of you. I love what you did with my grandma. It was so amazing. Thank you. There's people in the world that I kind of would love for you to go visit. Sure, I get it. After this, you know,

can I give you names in your goo goo glasses? I wish it was, it's pretty, we kind of work on the, the Nick Kroll Biggest Bush method. Oh, okay. So it's pretty much based on that. Oh, great. Yeah. Oh, so great.

So you're feeling confident then? I'm feeling super confident. I have to talk to you after this. Okay, great. I have a couple people myself that I think, I mean, I just, I really think you change a room. Like I think you've changed my life, to be honest. Oh my gosh.

Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Our lives are never the same after our loved ones encounter you. Yeah. And also I should say, I think hell has a little bit of a bad rep here on earth. It's not torture. I think people think hell is torture.

And also it's not the only place you can go, right? I'm sorry, I have to ask, whoever you're killing today is going to hell? Well, maybe not. I mean, looking at you three, chances are yes, right? Why? Two thirds, that's a podcaster and a man who murders people. I don't murder people.

They are free to escape if they're strong enough. Well, I guess, okay, I guess just making long annoying puzzles where you can just grab the key anyway feels like a waste of time. I'm a former TV star. Okay. Amoeba here is a current TV star. That's why I didn't mention her.

You noticed that. Okay. Yeah. I did. But I mean, we in Hollywood are kind of a godless bunch. Right, yeah. No, I only mention Hell because I feel like you guys are hung up on it.

Cause I feel like everyone's fine to go to Heaven. Which is great. Heaven's great. But Hell isn't bad either. Hell is kind of like, it's like, it's hard to put your jacket, the zipper on. Oh, that's not true. It's like a lot of those.

Mildly annoying? Exactly, yeah, it's a lot of those. Although sometimes if I can't zip a jacket, it does eat at me. And I have trouble thinking of other things while my jacket can't get zipped, and it can ruin a party. But yeah, you'll eventually get it on. It'll work. Oh, you can get it on in Hell?

Oh yeah, or like... Isn't it hot though? Why are you trying to put on a jacket? Yeah. Well, it's a little hot, right? But sometimes you're in your AC and you step outside, you're not sure what the temperature is. And so you're like, maybe I'll try a jacket. And you put it on... So there's AC in Hell?

Oh yeah. Yeah, there's... I mean, you can take a vacation in Hell. And you're like... Oh my God. Hell's getting under that. Hell's getting under that. The same time that Earth did, like, was that a technology? Hell had it first, actually. Oh, I'm sure. Hell had it first, actually. Oh, like, sure, sure. They had a lot of things first.

What about outhouses? Mm-hmm, no, no, that was started here, and then we were like, that's a good idea. Okay, so indoor plumbing was originally on Earth, and then- That's right. Oh my God. And we said, let's do that. So wait, do you hang out in Hell a lot? Sure, yeah, I'll go down there, I don't mind.

You know, again, another thing that might happen in Hell is like, you have a good first date, and then you try to schedule a second one, and your schedules just aren't matching up, you know? Again, another thing that might happen in hell is like you have a good first date and then you try to schedule a second one and your schedules just aren't matching up, you know? And so you got- So like all the momentum is lost? And then it's got to be a couple weeks and then eventually it just kind of falls apart, perhaps. A thing that eats at you over time, but not too bad. Yeah, not too bad. Honestly, it sounds fun. It's not that bad.

Honestly, I haven't dated in so long, it sounds kind of fun. Yeah, down there. Exactly. That's exactly it. Maybe- I have a rich and varied love life. Have dates changed in the past 26 years? Exactly the same, they're the exact same. Okay, cool, yeah, I figured. All of this is covered on adults on FX.

Yes. That's right. Yes, yes, we are covering dating, we are covering hell. We have a whole episode where we go there, but it's a different depiction. Oh my God. Yeah, I think it's not very much in your image. You might feel a little offended by some of the stereotypes. No problem. But I mean, it's some representation. Am I red? Because that's actually- Wait, are you Satan? No.

Are you confused about the fact that you might be Satan? Well, just sometimes, sometimes, sometimes people with death and Satan is the same person, right? I've never thought that. Yeah, no one's ever thought that. I didn't think that. The death is like a grim reaper, kind of a bummer, sort of Christmas future sort of ghost. Yeah, no one's ever thought that. The death is like a Grim Reaper, kind of a bummer sort of Christmas future sort of ghost. Like a skeleton-y kind of guy with a bony finger and then Satan is like a red guy with a pitchfork. Super red, naked guy.

Poking people in the butt. Right, yeah, I get that. Mischievous, I get that. And we do have one of those guys. We do have one of those skeleton-y guys. Are you friends with him? Yeah, there's four of us that work the job. There's four deaths? Yeah, there's four of us that work the job. There's four deaths?

Yeah, there's four of us. That's a good color. How do you lit up the territory? Is it like, like I worked at one restaurant, Olive Garden in Glendale, where we had one table that was outside on the patio, one in the back room, and then two in different sections of the restaurant.

That was our section. It was like, how do you get to, you know, like you want all your tables close together. You know what I'm saying? Sure, yeah, this is a complaint from when you worked at Olive Garden 30 years ago or something. 30? I'm 29.

Oh, I'm not that. Oh, yeah. But yeah, so it's the same way. I assume a manager assigned you that section. Okay. It's a similar system. So do you cover North America as well? Yeah, I'll go everywhere.

Yeah, I'll go everywhere. I mean, cause I'm on like a celestial plane. What I'm asking is do you cover North America? Not, yeah, I'll go everywhere. Yeah, so I'll go, I mean, I don't mind if I'm here. I don't mind if I'm there. You don't want to tell everywhere. I mean, cause I'm on like a celestial plane that is- What I'm asking is, do you cover North America? Not, yeah, I'll go everywhere. I mean, I don't mind if I'm here, I don't mind if I'm there. You don't wanna tell us what you're- That's not what I'm asking.

Well, I guess maybe maps to you might not mean the same thing to me, you know? So like North America to you might mean something that- Or is it the type of, do you only deal with hot people? No, as I can tell from the people in this room, I'm about to- Me, yeah! Excuse me.

What, okay, hey, you're safe. You're already safe. Oh, thank you. All right. Wait, so Amitha's safe, so it's one of us? Yeah, Amitha's safe. Look, I know who it's gonna be, none of my characters ever come back.

So, I already know who I'm going to have. And I can't die, this show has to reach at least 20 years. Well, look, there is one way, when I go to murder someone at the end of the thing, if the person has lots of money or has ever been in People Magazine, then they can challenge me. They can do one challenge.

Okay, so Mia Farrow, who is, of course, on the cover of the first issue of People Magazine. Something everybody knows. Every 29-year-old knows that. She won't be able to challenge you. She could challenge me, but if they know the rule, I don't tell everyone this, I'm on a podcast. Who else?

Mark Common's been on the cover of People, famously sexiest man alive. Sure. George Clooney, I would imagine. You don't even have to be on the cover if you've just been in the pages. Oh. Yeah. Okay, so that's-

If stars are just like us. What if you're in an ad for hemorrhoid cream, or it's in People magazine? If you know to challenge me, you can challenge me to one thing. Okay. Yep. Having a Johnny Depp, I was supposed to touch him a long time ago, challenge me to a fish off.

Oh, you get to pick what the challenge is? They get to pick it. Oh, well that's a lot of power. So he challenged you to fish off. He had. I've heard about these. Yeah, that's right. And he jumped in the water and looked exactly like a fish.

Wow. Well, I didn't expect that's what the competition the water and looked exactly like a fish. Wow. Well, I didn't expect that's what the competition was. So it's not catching fish. Hey, that was a Johnny Depp original. Portraying a fish. He nailed it. Well, that's a top. The actor, of course, is going to have it. I mean, he is amazing. He's a chameleon.

Right. He really, really sinks into the role. I love him. Everything about him. Listen, I have a lot of money. Yeah, okay. And so if you're coming for me, I just want you to know that I will challenge you. Great. Okay. Yeah. And it's gonna be puzzles. Great. And I'm a podcaster, so you know my finances. So I guess, and I've never been in People Magazine. Not even a, not even a birth announcement or they're dating or look who's. I don't think there was a birth announcement when I was born in People Magazine. That would have been something. This was a birth announcement when I was born in People magazine. That would have been something.

Oh, interesting. 1996. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that was a big year for people. They were shouting at everyone back then. I'm surprised they didn't say anything about you. Yeah.

Okay. And we don't know about my second season, so. Okay. Yeah, so it sounds to me like I'm hoping that HM is the person you come here to die, because he's the only one you could challenge. It's almost definitely going to be me. I mean, I certainly would be the crowd favorite to be murdered. Hey, Death, let me give you a hint.

Okay. It's the key, okay? Oh, nice. It's the key. Yes. It'd be much harder to puzzle be murdered. Hey, Death, let me give you a hint. It's the key, okay? Oh, nice. It's the key. Yes, yes. It'd be much harder puzzle when I challenge you, Death. But- Do we want to get to it? I want to see a challenge.

Oh. Yeah, who- Okay, just know if I touch someone, they're gonna die, so- No, but someone can challenge you, so- Oh, sure, yeah. Well, if, first I get- Do you give people an opportunity to challenge you before you touch them? Well, no, normally I don't tell anyone that.

It's if they know the rules and they ask the questions. Okay, well, HM is challenging you right now. I challenge you before you touch them? Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It wasn't me. It was you. The opposite of the Shaggy. What a better version of that song. So you're like clean cut. Yeah, I'm clean cut, the weirdo version of Shaggy.

Yes, and instead of it wasn't me, it was me. Wow, all right, well we have a challenge. And again, I just wanna say, if you go to heaven, cool. It's like Saturday all the time up there. Nice and easy. Okay. Easy way to describe it. Hell, not so bad.

Just like a cricket in your bedroom. So you're telling me you're kinda trying to talk me out of the challenge. Well, I'm just saying that, hey, you know. Neither sounds that appealing. Is any... Oh, really? Yeah, like a cricket in your bedroom or just, it's just whatever. Like, I prefer to stay here on Earth, wouldn't you, HM? I would much rather stay here on Earth. Saturday all the time? This is where your puzzles in your mansion are. My mansion is waiting for me. When you get to heaven, do you get the same like,

or at least the same value of a house? You know what I mean? So if you have a mansion here on earth, then you get a mansion up in heaven or whatever. In fact, you actually get a better one. Wow. Isn't that nice? And does your bank account transfer into heaven bucks?

It doesn't, and it doesn't even matter, but it's there for you. If you just want to look at it, if you want to log into- Is everything free up there? US bank or Wells Fargo. Yeah, it's like a Saturday. Everything's-, everything.

Is it like communism though, where we all have to, we all have to wear each to his own abilities in according to- Honestly, we don't even consider it. Okay. It is. It very much is, but we don't even think about it, right? Cause it's just like a Saturday. Let's get to this challenge.

Wait, I don't- The Saturday of it all is linked to everything. Yeah, that's heaven. Heaven's kind of like a Saturday. You know? Saturday. Yeah. We don't have the rights to this. Oh, that's heaven. Heaven's kind of like a Saturday. You know? Saturday. Yep. In the park. We don't have the rights to this. Oh, sorry.

Okay, okay. I don't have $50,000 to bleep you. Well, we could change it. Saturday. Yes. In heaven. Do-do. Every day is a Saturday.

That's the same melody. Is that what they sing for about melody? Yes. And then we'll change the melody and the word. I think it's the word line situation. Oh, okay. Oh, I thought they sang for this. Everybody get up. You know what? Saturday. We don't have a word line situation. Oh, I thought they said it.

Everybody get up. You know what? We don't have to sing. Everybody get up. You're party. We don't have to change it to anything. Singing is not a requirement on this. But if we did want to sing that song and we changed the melody and the words, then you're

safe? Then I'd be okay with it. Okay. All right. I'm walking on Tuesday. You've changed it to another song that exists. Walking on Saturday. It wasn't me. I'm walking song that exists. Walking on. Saturday, woo. It wasn't me.

Saturday, getting on the phone. It wasn't me. Can we get to this challenge? Sure, okay. So. Okay, you're in a room. If I touch you, you die. I got it.

Okay. And here's the challenge. You can't touch me, he's challenging you. You can't touch me. I know, I'm just saying, just watch out, because he's swinging that arm, pointing it up at two fingers an awful lot. I like to gesticulate, it's a classy thing.

There it goes, almost touched me. Oh my God. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. Thank you for the warning. Okay, puzzle, you're in a room. And there are, okay, there are keys in the room, but I'm gonna tell you right now, that's not the answer to the puzzle.

Okay. But I just, it's a kind of an OCD thing, you know, whatever. So. You've gotta put the keys out. Yeah, there's five coins, four keys, three gems, doesn't matter. Can you be lying right now? I would not lie about puzzles,

okay? But I'm just telling you, you're in a room, five coins, four keys, three gems, and on a piece of wood is inscribed this. The goats are all getting really into yoga. You know they're not Roman because they don't have a toga. they're not Roman because they don't have a toga. If you keep picking oysters, you might find a pearl. I hope season three of Severance is good. I'm punching through that wall. It was an A-A-B-C. What? I'm punching through the wall. How strong are you? Um, unlimited. Oh, really? Yeah. Unlimited strength. Unlimited strength. I don't think God could create a boulder that he couldn't lift. I've seen it. Wow. He did it. Don't speak in paradox, it freaks me out. Is that the solution?

I mean, it would work. Yes, it would work. It wasn't the solution, but if you're able to punch through a wall, that sort of solves any room in my house. Yes, okay, that does solve it. The real solution was you take one of the keys and open the door. Oh, you said it was- You lied! I said it wasn't, okay, look, the said it was- You lied! The puzzle was lying. All right. The puzzle was lying.

Sorry, but I gotta touch you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, can I just settle my affairs? Can I settle my affairs? Let him settle his affairs. I wanna hear last words. Plus we have a whole other segment to go. Oh, we have another segment, okay, yeah,

then we'll hang out and then I'll touch you and kill you at the end of the segment. How's that sound? Is that a fair and portable exchange? Very gracious of you, yes, thank you. Oh, and we get to witness his death. We get to see it. That's magical.

We get to see the light go out in his eyes. I'm gonna air-dap you. Oh, watch it. Oh my. I'm staying clear. Okay, all right, well we need to take a break. Why? Well, because that's the format of the show.

We have two breaks. I love formats. Okay, HM, snap the finger. You're a format guy as well, okay. I love ret- You're a vibes format duck guy. You just say the word, I'll touch this guy. Okay, he's coming hard.

Thank you. We need to take a breath and take a break. But everyone take a breath as we take a break. And Amitha, I know you have to go, but when we come back, we're gonna have a substitute teacher. So this is very exciting. So thanks so much, Amitha.

Great to meet you. I have to head out. Thank you. Bye, Amitha. When we meet you. I have to head out. Thank you. When we come back, we're gonna have a substitute teacher. Plus death is gonna kill this eccentric multimillionaire. This is an exciting episode of Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. We had Ametha Rao from Adults on FX, but had to take off, unfortunately, because very busy with a busy schedule as a TV star. I remember those days. Oh, let's take you from here to here.

Oh, this interview, that interview. You did a lot of press for your show? Yeah, I did my line. I did, yeah, a lot of, my share, which was, yeah. I bet you were great at it. You know, some days were better than others, but I tried to never turn down many requests. You know who'd be bad is the character Black Bolt

from Marvel Comics. He can't speak. Yeah, he can't speak, but he can sign. Are you trying to say that people who- No, I'm not trying to say- Are hearing impaired or cannot speak are bad or lesser than when they give interviews? No, of course.

I really want you to kill this guy. Right? Uh-huh, yeah, time to see it. But you know what? You know what? We still have another segment to go. So let's get to our next guest. She's a substitute teacher.

Please welcome for the first time, Midge Sinks. Hello, hello, hello. Hi. Hi. So great to meet you. It's so nice being here. This is H.M. Rosemont. He's an eccentric multimillionaire. As you were.

H.M., I am such a fan of your money. I've been watching this from the corner and I just wanna say, you know, we don't make what you guys make and we deserve it. Oh yeah, and then Death is over here. Hello. Hello, hello, hello. I think you're really gonna like what I have to show you. Oh wow, okay, fun. This is fun. What you're gonna show Death. Hello. Hello, hello. I think you're really going to like what I have to show you.

Oh, wow. Okay. Fun. This is fun. You're going to show Death. Wow. Okay, great. Well, you're a substitute teacher.

Do you mind me asking a little bit about your background? No, no, not at all. Okay, so where do you teach? I teach at Wells High School in Tennessee. Wells. Okay. Who's that? Is that H.G. Wells?

Is that Wells the bartender from the Bachelor in Paradise franchise? It's H.G. It's H.G. Oh, it's H.G. Okay. H.G. Wells is that Wells the bartender from the Bachelor in Paradise franchise? It's H.G. Wells middle school. I am a yes I'm a very popular substitute teacher there. I perform puppet shows. I have a very close relationship to all the kids. I mean it I don't want to speak too highly of this but I will say my puppet shows are very incredible and you are represented. That's why I said you would be. So. May I push back almost immediately? Mm-hmm. In my time at private school,

which I understand is a bit of a different affair probably than what you're seeing. Of course. Was this a military school as well? It was a, this was a military branch. Oh, I've done military. Was it a preparatory academy? A preparatory academy of the highest.

You've done the military you said? I've done military schools, yeah. Oh, oh. You've substitute taught at military schools? Yeah, yeah. I see. Oh, okay, great. I didn't know they had substitute teachers that could just come in and teach. military schools, yeah. Oh, oh. You've substitute taught at military schools? Yeah, yeah. I see. Oh, okay, great. I didn't know they had substitute teachers

that could just come in and teach, I mean, I- If you're trained with a gun. Oh, yeah, are you trained with a gun? Yeah, of course. What kind of gun, I mean, are you a gun owner? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got machine, I got AK, I got everything. You got machine? Those are the guns? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the guns, I know, yeah.

Machine and AK, wow. Yeah, I'm sure you're familiar with that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I believe there's been an uptick in your business lately with those, once those were invented. Oh. Yeah, I'm sure you're familiar with that. Yeah, I believe there's been an uptick in your business later once those were invented. Oh my God, I'm sure. Well, interesting. The pushback was just that in my time in education,

the substitute teacher was rarely someone who was popular. If anything, they were an object of ridicule. Well, we liked substitute teachers, I recall, because it was like we could take a break for the day. Maybe a movie, perhaps. Yeah, they'd roll in the old AV cards. Yeah, I mean, I would say, I recall, because it was like, we could take a break for the day. Maybe a movie, perhaps. Yeah, they'd roll in the old AV cards. Yeah, I mean, I would say, I would agree. And I would say- Which these days is like,

oh, okay, let me press play on my tablet. So many screens. It's so strange. I never do stuff like that. I keep it all live, all live. And that's why the kids love me so much. I honestly think I was replaced because I was like too much. I was technically substituted with another teacher. I was a main teacher and then I was substituted. That's why I am love me so much. I honestly think I was replaced because I was like too much. I was technically substituted with another teacher.

I was a main teacher and then I was substituted. That's why I am now substitute teacher, but. Oh, wait, wait, wait. So you were an actual teacher. Yes. And then you got fired? I don't think I would use that word now. Did it go substitute to teacher to substitute again,

or did you start teacher and now you're substituting? I started teaching, they substituted me out. Okay. Okay, so you've been substituted, but now you're substituting. Yes, yes. Okay, I think I wrap my head around this. So yeah, I'm no longer legally allowed to perform as a full-time teacher.

Wow, why are you legally allowed to perform as a substitute then? Yes, what a nuanced- What a strange loophole. What a nuanced fan. Here's one weird trick. Yeah, yeah, now I'm allowed to be around the kids for short periods of time.

They were afraid I would change their psychology if I spent the whole day with them because I was, I was changing them. I was, you know, I, I, my puppet show, it was, um, an iteration of the creation story, a new iteration, mine, and, um, the children were really taken to it. They, they loved it and they started to go home. They started to believe they started to act different. And you know, people don't like to see children change. People don't like to see the world become a better place.

So you're hired as a substitute teacher and this is a elementary school. Elementary to middle. Elementary to middle. And you're required or supposed to teach various subjects. Mathematics. Yes. The others.

Yeah. And instead you're doing puppet shows about the creation of the world? The world? Or? Okay, so it is the creation of the world. It's a take on Adam and Eve. What is it? Adam and Steve?

Oh my God. No, it's Yoko and John. And it is a story about if how if you marry the wrong woman, you could get shot in the head. Wait, so the story of John Lennon, who, you're basing this on the story of John Lennon. I mean, they were nude. I didn't copy it. They were nude on the Rolling Stone magazine. Does that count? Can anyone who was in Rolling Stone challenge?

Oh, yeah. There have to be people, unfortunately. It has to be people. Yeah. And from that nude photo, you do know the bush was pretty big. Yeah. Powerful. Yeah.

Yeah, so they were nude, so I can see the temptation. Yes, exactly. Much the way Eve was tempted by the apple. Exactly, and you see, and children were drawn to this same thing. They were drawn to this story of temptation and loss. They started to, the boys started to stay away from the girls, which is how we like it.

Okay. Yes, yes. I mean, it's a cautionary tale because I- You're saying that the person who is shot deserved it because they married the wrong woman? In your story? In God's story. Oh. Are you a Beatles fan? I don't, I mean, I think their music is fun.

Like how many Beatles albums do you own? I don't own any of their albums. People are always telling me that this sounds like the Beatles story. I think, to be honest, I was born with this story. I started doing the puppet shows when I was four or five. And yeah, I don't think it't think it do you happen to listen to A podcast called screw it. Let's just talk about the Beatles. Oh

Yeah, yeah So you're you definitely heard of it because it's a super popular Very cool person runs interesting because you seem to be completely unaffected by the Beatles whatsoever But you listen to a specific podcast that only talks about them. I put on podcasts in the background so I can hear people talk all day, but I don't I can't hear the words. I do that too. It's like noise. That's a common affliction.

Yeah. Did you know that John Lennon is a member of the group The Beatles and that Yoko Ono was his wife? I knew about that because I started to get comments post the play. But you didn't know about that when you first started doing a new puppet show. There were just a couple of nude weirdos to you? Yeah, I mean, they were always on, they were on everything, they were naked

and they made their fun music, but yeah, no, no. Question for you, you've been doing the same puppet shows since you were four? Mm-hmm. Okay. Sometimes you're born with a story and you say it from the day you're born. Wow.

I mean, yeah, I'm sure you feel that. You wake up with a call in one day and like you had a call in. Every day. Exactly. I have to say, Midge sinks. Midge sinks, yes. And I certainly didn't have to look down at my notes

to remember that, but it sounds- No, no, it's telling. You don't remember substitute teacher. You remember H.M. Morton, you remember, yeah. H.M. Rosemont. And no one's actually gotten it right anytime they've said it, by the way. Is H.M. Morton the salt person?

Yeah, you own the salt plants. I do not own the salt empire, though I would be proud to. But it seems to me like you're not really a teacher, you're like a puppeteer, you know what I mean? I mean. What do you think puppet shows do? I would imagine that there's some sort of educational or perhaps edutainment aspects to a puppet show.

But if I were to hire you to come into my elementary to middle school to teach or just substitute teach, I would expect you to cover the basics, the RRR, you know, reading. Writing. That's a W. Rooming. Sorry, what was it? Rooming? Reading, writing, rooming.

Rooming. Yeah. We can cover that in the show. Okay. And RRR, the... RRR. The movie. Yeah. Oh, you guys seen that movie?

Yes. Yeah, great movie. Netflix, yeah. Oh, wow, wow. That wouldn't credit Netflix, I mean, it's on Netflix. 100% to the credit of Netflix. Just say the word, I'll touch him. Just say the word, I'll touch him.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you agreed, you agreed. Giving Netflix all the credit for RRR. I have a ten gentle question. Yeah, please. Where do you stand on bathroom passes? Like can students go to the bathroom any time they want? They raise their hand. Not during the show.

They can't go to the bathroom. Do you make them go in the yard or are you like in the corner? I mean, I personally prefer corner, but I'm totally fine with yard. I see where you're coming from. Thank you. Yes, I totally understand. I mean, honestly, if I'm totally fine with yard. I see where you're coming from. Thank you. Yes, I totally understand.

I mean, honestly, if I could have a house with no bathrooms, I hate the way that smells. That's the thing, like any house you go into, you're like, oh wow, look, this is a gorgeous house. But then there's this room where people shit in it. Horrible. It's like the fertility clinics, like you go in there and go like, wow, all you fancy doctors.

Oh, is this the room that everyone jacks off in? Yeah. Are you all doctors. Oh, is this the room that everyone jacks off in? Are you all right? Yeah, sorry. I'm... Mitch Sinks, what's going on? No, no, I've just... I have a hard time with fertility clinics. I just tried to bomb a few of them. Oh, so you're like... You're a religious person. You show, it's me, you want to come... Well, I don't know, I'm taking information here. I didn't try to bomb them come? Well, I don't know, I'm taking information here. I didn't try to bomb them because I was against artificial insemination. I just think they were doing it at the wrong place. I have a fertility clinic in my basement.

I see. So you would prefer people come to your basement or you just think that, like, well, what is the issue with the location of these fertility? Well, I just don't think they're, well, my whole thing is like, in the same way I was born with a story of creation, I was also born with a story of who should be created. And I am doing that in my basement and it's dinner and show, girls. You get inseminate and you get a puppet show.

Interesting. Wow, so what's for dinner? Dinner is lots of eggs. Lots of eggs? Mm-hmm. I might pass on this. That's a fertility theme. I don't, like, when I hear dinner in a show,

I'm thinking at least a chicken. Yeah, I'm thinking, do I wanna bring a date there? Is this the place? But if it's like- It's whole eggs. Hey, whole eggs. Like, still in their shell? Boiled, whole boiled eggs.

Is there a little, is it like a play on the eggs of fertility and the eggs that, oh, okay. I thought it was kind of fun. But a lot of them. Does it like a play on the eggs of fertility and the eggs? Yeah, I thought it was kind of fun But a lot of them does it have a name does your basement restaurant slash puppet show fertility clinic have a name? Yeah, it's Mitch sinks cafe I mean we could get muffins. I mean has anyone ever said like where are the muffins or I didn't think this would be a fertility Clinic. Yeah, we've gotten thatins. I mean, general. Has anyone ever said like, where are the muffins? Or I didn't think this would be a fertility clinic. Yeah, we've gotten that one.

What are all these eggs, whole boiled eggs doing here? We've definitely gotten that one, but then people start to eat the eggs, people go under, and you know, they really come around when they come up. Go under meaning you're sedating them? Australia. Oh, no. Sedating them, we've thought about that.

So you've been to Australia, death? Sure, yeah. I'm trying to get a- It's part of my map. I'm trying to get a- Part of my map. It's part of my- I'm trying to get a handle on exactly where your coverage is. Yeah, my coverage is a little bit here, a little bit there, depending where they send me. I don't know.

I mean, this, I mean, look, I gotta say, HM, I called you eccentric mainly because you wanted to be introduced that way. Thank you. But I have to say, Midge Sinks, you're possibly even more eccentric. Thank you. But I have to say, Midge Sinks, you're possibly even more eccentric. Thank you. Than H.M. Rosemont himself.

Thank you, got the name right. I mean, if you need another eccentric in your house, I am great at a puzzle, girl. You're good at puzzles? We'll see if you can run the gamut of the puzzle. You have another puzzle? I do have another puzzle. Oh, please, I'm a teacher.

Of course I'm good at puzzles. Give me a second, okay. Oh, you're getting your dolls out too? Yes. Your puppets? Yeah. Oh please, I'm a teacher. Of course I'm good at puzzles. Give me a second, okay. Oh, you're getting your dolls out too? Your puppets? Yes. Oh, the puppets are gonna. That's a nude John Lennon. Yeah.

Okay. Okay, and a nude Yoko Ono. Well, and wait till you see the nude gun that he's about to bring out in second act, spoiler. He gets killed by a gun though, right? So he brings it out? Is this like a naked gun reference because of the reboot is coming out this summer or?

They're gonna reboot Naked Gun? Yeah. You haven't seen the trailer? I saw the whole thing. Akiva Schafer, our good friend, he directed it. Yeah, he's that guy. Dan Gregory and Doug Band and... Really? Yeah.

Yeah, they wrote it. Come on, man. Oh, I have to see that. I know you're an eccentric multimillionaire who's just in his mansion all day doing puzzles, but keep up on the latest Hollywood insider. My apologies. I'll try to stay up to date on the naked gun reboot news. All right. My bad. Ready for a puzzle. Okay. You're in a room. I'm in a room. And written on the wall is this poem. The horses all want to make the perfect cupcake, but they need the right sized bowl for goodness sake Let's all go easier on revenge of the Sith. Okay. I want to touch this man right now. Yeah, and What's that on my shoe? Oops, I spit

So is that a real imperfect rhyme? Yeah, what was that? I mean, I think he's going for an a ABB But it's more of of an AABB. It's AABB. B and a half. Yeah, B and a half, yeah, definitely. B minus. I'm so sorry. Can you repeat that word for me? The horses all want to make the perfect cupcake, but they need the right size bowl for goodness sake. Let's all go easier on revenge of the Sith. What's that on my shoe?

Oops, I spit. Sith and spit. That's the one we're counting, yeah. Yeah, the one we're rubbing on. 15 coins. Now you said you're good at puzzles. One key. I'm very good at puzzles.

Sinks. Two gems. It's the key. No hint, wait. It's the key. Letmidge. I appreciate the hints, but I could have solved it on my own,

and I'd actually, I'm gonna have the puppet solve it for me. Okay, let's see. Let's hear how the Liverpool accent is. Because I don't think you should be doing the other voice. I can do it. You should hear my other story. My other creation story is a different one. Another take on Adam and Eve, it's Blanca and Ruiz. And I do very good voices for them as well. I think, I think, I best think that he's a gun. I feel like I'm in the north of England.

I've been transported to... And that's Yoko. I best think he's a gun. The winds of the port are blowing over. Pointed at me husband's head. Oh my god, that man's about to kill me husband. No, no. It's me husband. No, no. Australian miracle. No, no, no.

No, oh my God, he's shooting. He's shooting, he's gonna shoot my husband. But he's taking out a key. Yes, it's the key. Wow. What do you hear? You are good. Wow, you are good.

I was by the door listening in, writing my show. Wow, you are good. I was by the door listening in, watching my show. Wow. Incredible, wow. Well, this is, you know, Midge, I have to say you're an eccentric, but you have a certain sense of pizzazz. Thank you.

I just can't help but really appreciate it. Thank you. The school system does not agree, but you hire me and I will bring that to any room I bring in. Well, I doubt I'm gonna hire you. I'll hire you. Why is that? I'll hire you. What? You may work in the mansion, I doubt I'm gonna hire you. I'll hire you. Why's that? I'll hire you.

What? A-chan? You may work in the mansion, especially if I'm going to be dead. You are. I will bequeath the puzzle mansion to you, Ms. Sinks. Okay, if you say it on a podcast, it has to be true. I understand. Because everything I've said on any podcast is true.

This has got the Asif Ali level of integrity, in meaning that I'll stand by my word. All right. And I bequeath the Rosemont Puzzle Mansion to you, Midge Sinks, upon my death. Wow. Incredible. Wow. Are there conditions? Does Midge Sinks have to keep the puzzles up?

I guess I forgot to say that, but I would, you know, kind of gently hope. It's like when you sell a house, you're like, you know, they should be able to do whatever they want. But sometimes you don't want to sell it to them because it's like, well, you're going to change the architecture style. This is like a classic.

Of course, I'd like all the puzzles to say, but I admit that I forgot to say that. So I acknowledge that. Well, a deal's a deal. I'd put a bathroom in the first room, honestly. So that's what I would do. I know, but honestly. Change the foyer in the bathroom.

I understand where that's coming from, but I see what you're saying. I don't like the smell inside. And I would respect the integrity of that decision, especially if I have a butler, who cares? You got a butler, yes. Oh, does the butler come with it? Comes with the house.

Of course, life sentence. Who's paying for the butler though? Oh, you'll have to pay out of the, well, there's- This is like an extreme home makeover situation where they build you a huge house, but then the taxes on it, you can't even afford. Can you afford a Butler? Obviously not.

I've been doing puppet shows in the park since I lost my job. There's an endowment that comes with the money. This is like Oprah giving everyone cars and they couldn't afford the insurance on the car. No, I thought it's the same thing. He gave it to me. He gave it to me. It's not an escalation. It's just a different way of phrasing what I said. I've given a house. It'll be fine.

I've worked out the logistics. Listen to me, I'm gonna redo the whole thing. I'll keep some puzzles, but I'm gonna updo the whole, I'm gonna renovate it with the Mitch Sinks style, okay? Puppet shows in the foyer, puppet shows in the back. Why did I do this? Last room, two guns, me. I should have left it to my wife.

She's gonna be puppets and guns. Oh my God. Puppet shows and guns! Your wife. I have a wife, I should have called her. Whoopsies. Whoopsies. I blew it. Mitch, also, let me tell you, your creation story,

half right, it's half right. Wow, okay. Yeah, I was there. That's about 50% of it. I knew. The accent was perfect. Thank you, thank you. I've been practicing that, the kids really like it.

How long did Adam and Eve live to? Oh, Adam, not that long, but Eve for quite some time. Because he was born at probably, when I think of Adam, I think of him as like a cut like six pack. Yeah, he was very focused on his body a lot. Like he's 20 something. That's the point. 23 to 27.

Yeah, yeah. The point's his body, his youth and his body. Yeah, once he turned 27, I honestly stopped caring what he was doing. Yeah, me too. I mean, didn't he get shot in the head? He did, yes. He did, that was part of it. And also fell off number five on the call sheet.

So that, you know, started as one when you end on five, you know it's not gonna go well for him. Well, Death, I'm gonna ask you to hold, I know you're getting very close to HM right now. No, but please, please. I'm gonna ask you to hold off just a little bit longer because while we are running out of time on this show, we do have time for one final feature

and that's a little something called Plugs. FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPLAY FUGPL Nice. God damn it. All right, that was, my house is full of bees and I don't have a hive by Permo. Thank you, Permo. Thank you, Permo. A lot of dynamics is the best thing I can say about that song, but thank you, Permo. What would you see if that song was death? If what?

Oh, death. Oh, I thought you said death. If that song was death. I mean, in a way. I thought that was a new slang thing. Is that a question that you ask people? What would they see if that song was death? Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that. Interesting. I mean, earlier, earlier, I was thinking about that when- Yeah, what do you see death as, by the way? You saw your email little girl. Because Ametha saw death as a hip hop girl. Yeah. Oh yeah, how do I look? How am I presenting to you?

You look, you look just like my mom. Oh, that's so sweet. Wow, that's cool. What's your mom? She was in an ACDC cover band. You look just like my mom. Oh, that's so sweet. You look just like my mom. What's your mom? She was in an ACDC cover band. Oh, wow, what was the band called? I have to ask.

Tourette's. Okay, they went a different way. Yeah, you lose a pun on one of the songs. You went to the band's songs? Yes. Highway to Well? No, no. They didn't wanna be expected.

They wanna surprise with ACDC. Notice that about you and your family. Yeah, the marketing is a little bit off. Well, off is a rude thing to say, but different. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we'd like to be unexpected. I mean, everything you see nowadays is so curated. Everything you see is so tailored for your eyes.

The algorithm tells us we have to look at this. A godless thing, the algorithm. Hey, we're in the middle of plugs. What are we plugging here? I know Midge sinks. Do you wanna plug anything? Do you have any TV shows that you're watching or? Only thing I have to plug is that the story you're being told by the government

and the world at large is not true. You can come into my basement. I will fill you with the seed of the man you're supposed to be with. And I will tell you the truth of the world at large is not true. You can come into my basement. I will fill you with the seed of the man you're supposed to be with. And I will tell you the truth of the world. Also, I know my name sounds like Midge Stinks, but do not say that. If you do, I can legally shoot you in the head.

So. Okay. On your property, maybe, but. Are you watching adults on FX? I watch it on effects. Oh, effects, yes, of course, yeah. Yes, effects. I don it on effects. Oh, effects, yes. I don't watch FX. That is a weird channel. I'll let you plug it if you want. Okay, I guess if you want, you could watch adults.

There's the plug. But what's next? Kids? Like I saw that movie already. It's like, what's the escalation on this? Where's it gonna go? I don't know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's like, what's the escalation on this? Where's it gonna go? I don't know, where do we go with this? Why do you wanna watch kids?

That's the thing. I stayed away from that movie. Yeah, that's probably the best. Well, you just said you saw it. Okay. You unlocked something. You're kind of walking back from your answer. And Death, what do you wanna plug?

Well, I got some free time, you know, trying to chase people down, touch them, whatnot, kill them. Where exactly, by the way? What's your route? Yeah, depending on where they send me, you know, trying to chase people down, touch them, whatnot, kill them. Uh, and I- Where exactly, by the way, what's your route? Yeah, depending on where they send me, you know, right. Uh, but I've been a big fan of, of Holy shit improv. You can watch it online. They're based in LA, but you can watch them anywhere.

And they're doing some summer touring in June. They're going to Houston on the 26th, Austin on the 27th and Dallas on the 29th. That's with comedian clash. It's going to be a blast. Go check that out. That sounds like a huge three day tour. It's a huge four days that they have one day where they're not touring.

Oh, you know, travel day? Just to hang out in Austin day, really. Not exactly sure how. Doesn't seem economical. No, honestly, whoever planned this, not the best planner, but it's gonna be a fun time. And then they're going to EuroProven Vienna, Austria, that's July 25th.

That's where Falco's from. Through 27th, which Falco? Oh, you know the one who sang Rock Me on a Day. Oh, okay, yes, of course July 25th. That's where Falco's from. 27th, which Falco? Oh, you know the one who sang Rock Me on a Day. Oh, okay, yes, of course, of course. It was a huge hit for like three weeks in 1987. I'm sure you got him eventually. I did. Unless it was one of your four coworkers.

No, that's part of my territory as I clearly laid out earlier. So, europrov.com, check that out. And then lastly, there'll be in Edinburgh, Edinburgh, July 30th through August 10th, at Gilded Balloons Patterhouse. And just, all these shows are having comedy bang bang favorites on them,

so go check out those things. Holy shit, Improv, you're gonna love it. This sounds like an amazing time at the theater. Wow. All right, H.M. Rosemont, I would imagine you don't have much to plug. I don't have much to plug, as I'm about to die. I would love to plug my puzzle mansion.

I sp-puggle? My puzzle mansion. But there's no point. That's like a word jumble. I'll continue. I'll continue to plug your mansion. Okay, I appreciate it. And I guess if you're looking for a podcast besides this one and you like The Beatles, screw it. We're just going to talk about The Beatles.

It's a fine podcast that my dear friend, Will Hines, hosts. Oh, you're friends with that guy? That guy? Well, I mean, yeah. He's an upstanding individual. I mean, he's got real lukewarm takes. He's hard to get offended by. But anyway, if you like The Beatles,

that podcast I recommend. All right, well, I wanna plug, hey, head over to CBBworld and you can get the entire archive of Comedy Bang Bang ad free. That's every episode we've ever done, all 900 and whatever number this is of them, plus all of the live episodes we've done.

That's over a thousand episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that you can get over there. Plus we have new shows like CBB Presents where people from Comedy Bang Bang have their own show. We have Scott Hasn't Seen where I watch terrible kids movies it it seems like, every week, and we talk about it with Sprague the Whisperer. Plus we have The Neighborhood Listen, College Town.

So much more over there, and it's pretty inexpensive. So head over to CBBWorld.com, and you can check it out there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. I didn't. You plugged things. There's no time to close it up just yet. Cross the line. All right that was We Can't See You by WT Bond.

Ooh another two initial guy. I love him. Us two initial guys, we hang out. Yeah, better than one initial guys like Michael J. Fox. Who needs it? Yeah. Go all the way. Yeah, just call yourself MJF.

MJ Fox, that's a name. MJF. Okay, yeah, all three, why not? FDR, FDR. Three initials, great. Yeah, LBJ, RFK, comedy adjacent. We married too. We protect our own.

Yes. Guys, I wanna thank you so much. Gosh, I wish Ametha were here. So I could thank Ametha, but unfortunately. Do you mind passing on my pleasure in having Ametha on? If you happen to see. I can find her. You can find her, okay, great. Do you mind passing on my pleasure in having Ametha on? If you happen to see.

I can find her. You can find her, okay, great. Yeah, I have a very robust system. Well, I do wanna thank you, Midgesynx. Thank you. Such a pleasure to have you on. I gotta admit, you're a little bit weird. You are going to die today.

Wow. Death, is that true? Not true. Come on, girl. No, I'm sorry, not true. Come on. Death, always that true? Not true. Come on, girl. I'm sorry, not true. Come on. Death, always great to see you, but I hope I don't see you again for quite some time.

Okay, well, I'll let you know. We'll have fun either way. Hell's not that bad. It's like playing taboo and you say a word on the cards. I don't know how you assume that Scott's going to hell to prep him for that. Of course. Everyone is, I guess. But, and then H.M.

Rosemont, hey, a life well lived is its own reward. I guess you're right. I'm gonna have to look at it that way, yes, thank you. So everyone remember the last thing he said was made fun of Michael J. Fox's name. That was not that. No, no, not that.

Ah! Why is he screaming? What is he dying of? Yeah. Oh, well I had him poop from the inside. Oh. And just went up through the middle. How ironic.

A karmic punishment. Yeah, wow. It's like rain on your wedding day. Isn't it ironic? It's a lot like that, in a way. Can we sing that one? Yeah. All right, well, rest in peace, H.M.

Rosemont, and to the rest of you, we'll see you next week. Thanks, bye! Amamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamam