Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Jack Quaid, Tawny Newsome, James Mannion

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

Two friends Jack Quaid and Tawny Newsome join Scott to talk about babies learning about holidays, food delivery robots, and Top 5 human beings. Then, professor Robert Canasta stops by to talk about his current psychology research. Plus, podcasters Brigadoon and Greg drop by for a cross-over episode of their show “Aaahh!!! Real Cocktails.”

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really sarcastically, but maybe I'll meet it actually because hopefully they will say something really enlightening that our listeners will enjoy and learn something from we also have a couple of podcasters Jesus Christ more podcasters well the strike is going and That's what we have to settle for I guess but before then look it's the Labor Day special first of all my name is Scott Aquaman and Before then, look, it's the Labor Day special. First of all, my name is Scott Aukerman, and on Labor Day, we're taking the day off, and that's what we're doing on today's show.

We're just taking the day off. We're not promoting anything. We just have two friends on the show. What are you taking the day off from? I don't know. I guess mentally, mentally I'm gonna check out during the show. A lot like your last episode of...

Right. No, I was where you were taking the day off from like parenting or something. Oh, would that be great? No, I think it'd be bad for the baby. I wouldn't be good for the baby. Yeah, babies don't understand holidays. They show it. Yeah, we should fix that. You know, it was like federal holidays. Yeah, bank holidays is something babies need to get up on. We can't promote anything. There's a strike. We need to talk

about the real issues. Babies need to understand holidays. I think we should write a children's book together called Babies First Holiday. Yeah. Or baby learns the holidays or the ABCs of holidays. What do you think the holiday is that's the hardest for a baby to understand? Arbor Day.

Yeah. Well, no, but like, I feel like I could just be like, hey, baby, look that's that tree. And they be like, yeah, yeah. Juneteenth. Yeah, but that's not a federal. Oh, it is federal., hey baby, look that's that tree. And they'd be like, yeah, yeah, June teats. Yeah, but that's not a federal. Oh, it is federal, but it's not state. So we need something that, yeah,

we need something that's federal and state. Federal and state. Yeah, because they all in. President's day, because it's like, it's not one guy's birthday. Yeah, it's a few of them, but not all. Maybe, maybe Thanksgiving, because it's like, there's so much to explain. Complications are so complicated.

Babies are just kind of thankful anyway. Yeah, they're like, well, I'm here. They're day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, what are the other federal and state? What are the other memorial day? Memorial day. I don't need, honestly, you guys could explain that one to me.

I'm not sure. Honestly, like, if you told me it's a bummer, you don't want to know. Oh, okay. If you had to explain to a baby the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day, that would take all of your time. Yeah, that'd be, that'd be big. Well, I also think just explaining the concept of war to a baby is, it's never too early for it, but at the same time, it's very difficult.

It's time to be sure. It's time to be sure. It's time to be sure. It'd probably be like, where's my Cheerios? Yeah. Right. Yeah. I think it would be a lot like that movie, The Fifth Element, where, you know, the Fifth Element, the Mia Yovavitch, I believe. I don't.

Yeah. I'm wearing it. She watches the big super cut of everything that's ever happened on Earth and she gets to Hitler and starts crying. Yeah. I think it would be like that. Yeah. I find it odd that that's the first thing that made her cry.

It was like, there's a lot wrong before. There's been a lot bad, but Hitler, that's a little much. She's like, whoa. She's like slavery crusades, good with all of that. All of that shit. So fucking weird. Well, we have two friends here and they're two friends.

Purely friends, no other thing to, no other relationship between them that we should ever speak about, but they are Two humans in the world we can agree on that. Yeah, yeah, and Scott when you called us on a three-way call Yeah, you said I'm calling my two best friends Jack and Tony and that was news to you I remember yeah, I was like oh my gosh. Well because my last visit was tense. It was a little bit tense Tony was here at the beginning of the strike and Well, because my last visit was tense. It was a little bit tense. Tony was here at the beginning of the strike

and she wanted me to get real. I just wanted you to ask me a personal question and you could not do it. Well, then I asked you one that it was probably too personal. And I loved it and then things got too real. Jack, Scott asked me why I don't have children. Well, she cornered me into it. How do you corner someone into a question?

Because I'm asking Tony. He went from what's happening at your house to why don't you have children? And I quibbled with that. What's happening at your house? And by the way, there's a lot of different ways to ask that. What's happening at your house? What's happening at my house? Did you recently move? I, no, actually, my girlfriend just moved in with me. Oh, I see. Oh, I thought it was a reverse. Yeah, no, no, no Yeah, no, it's the you did a reverse girlfriend moving. I did a reverse girlfriend move in oh, no Why is that a reverse? You did a reverse boyfriend reverse breakup. Oh, okay

Because she's moving in to my place. I've been there for like five six years and now and now like she's putting her stuff in I really do it's a. It's a great little apartment. I'm really digging it. She's moving her stuff in and we're kind of finding our taste. I never lived anywhere for six years and been like, I'm really digging it. I just like six years later. I like it.

What about you? It's got what about your childhood home? You didn't dig that? I had two different ones, but we let those go long ago. Okay, what? And to tell you the truth, Zillow is amazing because you can always look up now the sales history. And I remember they wrote, the people who bought it

wrote a big long letter about how, you know, this was gonna be where their children grew up and how they visualized, you know, all the holidays they were gonna spend. And then you read Zillow and it's like, oh, they sold it three years later. Yeah, come on. Three holidays, they meant three holidays. To gonna spend. And then you read Zillow and it's like, oh, they sold it three years later. Yeah, come on. Three holidays.

They meant three holidays. Oh, okay, to be fair. This were our children were gonna grow up. They tried to teach their babies about those holidays. It didn't take, we need a new house. We need. I am scared for this show during the strike because you just said Zillow is great because,

and I worry that you're completely out're too much time on my hands. Yeah. I'm out of things to do. Yeah, there's nothing to talk about. Zillow, Zillow, Zillow, Zillow's great because, let's go around our favorite paper work out. Why is it what he prefer, red paper work out? Yeah, I love a doc you sign. Ooh, I recently got signed out. Cam's camera sign.

Man, this is gonna be great, you got signed out of hold on Jack. Oh by the way Tony Newsom and Jack Quader. Hey, hi. This is us. All right. I'm Tony Newsom. I'm Jack Quader Yes, and now Jack you have a Hollywood story. You want to talk? Yeah Yeah, so I got signed out of talk every now and then things will just sign me out of them I forgot you would find out a doc you sign me. Did you read this? Did you hear about this? You hear about this? This is a three to bit that has crossed over We got across over so that we have nothing else to talk about run together Did you read this? Did you hear about this? This is a three to bit that has crossed over. We got a crossover so that we have it.

You really have nothing else to talk about. Run together. I'm not even going to finish this story. No, come on, come on, come on. I'm already on my phone. You want me to make you, please. I just couldn't remember my past. Please, Jack.

Jack, tell us the details. So you didn't touch the deal with things. You were out of thing. You didn't so much get signed out as you signed yourself out. You weren't on it for a long time. I think it's a security thing where they're like, he hasn't been here in a while. Let's get him out of here. He hasn't had to sign anything. So wait, what happened though? It got sucked out. I still signed out. I can't figure out my password. Okay, so hackers. Check it out. A little bit of extra effort on my part from the problem

to me going, well, I should like, you know, sit down and take care of this. And I'm just not taking that second step. I think DocuSign, I'm gonna go out on a limb here, the greatest invention since. Pretty good. The Crusades. Since the Crusades, since Hitler. Which made me cry. Originally.

I love how DocuSign is for sure featured in that super cut. Oh yeah, finally gets there. She's right up a little bit. Yeah. Wow. She was really making up for all the Hitler. There aren't even smartphones yet. This is what was it? 1997? Uh, yeah, somewhere in there.

I saw that it wasn't 1997 in that movie though. It was like, no, it was like, there were a thousand and three. There were way past smartphones. Now we're doing crazy things with our hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were doing bandage outfits and flying cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great movie.

That one we'd have flying cars by now. I'm kind of pissed. Would you would you fly in a car and I asked my mother, yeah, I know, never think I asked my mother about self-driving cars and I expected to get the typical like older person answer where it's like, yeah, you'll never get me in one of those and she was she gave me a really thoughtful answer and said, yes, I would love it. If self-driving cars were would just pick you up and drive you to where you want to go, because then she wouldn't have the responsibility of having to drive the car and feeling like she's getting too old to do it and all that kind of stuff. So, yeah.

So I feel like the flying cars, maybe if like they were around for six months and you saw other people do it and you're like, yeah, it's probably fun. I feel like I feel the same way about flying cars that I do about helicopters. It's just like, when a plane, it's kind of the first line car. We're in a straight a plane One could argue the first flying car. Yeah, more flying bus, but sure But it's you know if it starts to let's say there's a problem. It could theoretically glide To land so much someone said this about planes to me once was they want to stay up in the air They want to yeah, you know like yeah, they're all just built the way they're built.

It's the takeoffs and the landings that are hard. But once you're up there, they just want to stay there. So you have several relatives with pilots licenses and they tell you, well, we're every time every time, every time is like, you know, plane wants to stay in here. For sure. Does a car want to stay on the road card no see cars it's out of your real man it's a fight to get your skin on the road mother fucker like if you were just to let your steer like you did an experiment

and you went on the freeway don't do this you're like I'm gonna step my foot on the gas and like go the wheel and see what happens no one listen to this now no one wait if you're driving while you're listening to this, just take your hands off the wheel. Just put your pedal down. Throw your phone out the window. Throw your phone out the window so there's no trace back to us. And please, out of your car window screen,

this is Scott Ockermann's fault. Yeah. Whatever happens, it's coming to happen. What's happening is liable. Have you seen the self-driving cars? There's a bunch of them in San Francisco. They look weird as fuck.. Have you seen the self-driving cars? There's a bunch of them in San Francisco, they look weird as fuck.

Wait, I've seen some around here that have a bunch of cameras on them. A bunch of cameras, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know what those were. Wait, are those the Google cars, the ones that take the pictures of everything? No, no, no, no, no. It's almost like a driverless Uber.

Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it either. I don't like it. And I'll tell you what, I really don't like it, because those little tiny robots that deliver things. Oh, I really don't like those.

Oh man. I once saw a bunch of teen kids. It looked like something out of a out of like a J. I just never just moved. Tipping them over. Literally these kids. No, but that I want to every time. I want to kick it.

And then I'm like, there's food in there for somebody. There's no medicine. I have no idea if it's going. But I know. Fuck robots. And these I saw these teens run up to one or just fuck robots. That's a great. Great.

A great invention. A lot of it's not one of the little delivery ones. Yeah. But and by the way, and I read this. The teenagers ran up and trounced on it. And it was very satisfying. So I just read a story today about a gentleman in the UK who was convicted of having sex with a cow in a field.

Yeah, we need sex robots because that can happen. Would you have sex with a cow? No. Why was your tone the most reference is ever been for this story? This is a challenge. I read a tale, an article. Tony, I understand it's different when you're a woman because the parts, you have to, the parts are, you understand that.

Like male cow bull. I'm proud of you Like male cow bull. I'm proud of you. No cow bull, but also the teenagers been trouncing. They trounced the little delivery robot. It was so sad. Are there cameras on it so that they can be reported? I don't know, but if I can...

I'm gnarking on behalf of a robot. I know. Listen to you, Boot. I know what I do. I love the fucking government. Boots. Hey, to be fair, boots taste great. It's got agarmen. Oh, nice.

But they count on it. And can I say something wild? The little robot thing afterwards, it looks sad. Oh, yeah. Because it kind of has like a little face. Yeah, it's too. I don't like blank. I don't know if a lot of people know what we're talking about, but in major cities, they

have these little tiny robots with like a flag up. It's almost like the little kids and old enough who are trying to cross the street. Yeah. You know, it's like a little cooler or something. And it's on four wheels and it just like, and they, and I don't know if there's a, a gentleman or perhaps even a lady piloting them from afar. Because there's always, I think what they were doing in the beginning was you saw them, but there was always someone just kind of walking near them.

And I was really, I was like, oh, this is just someone who's fascinated with this new thing, right? But then I realized I think it's someone who's kind of like a chaperone. Yeah, I watch and see and making sure there's no teens that are trying to That was that was the early version of it and now I don't see those the handleers anymore I don't see the shaperons, but you know what I do. I don't I don't flip it over because I'm like, okay It could be because I've gotten a delivery by a robot before. What'd you get? I didn't sign, just food, like I just ordered postmates.

Food. Yeah, I ordered postmates and I didn't say, I'd love robots to deliver this, but they were like, guess what? A robot's delivering it and like, damn it. So I know if I kick it over, like those people didn't have a choice either.

I'm not a foodie for us, but what I do do if I see them, I just flick them in the flag. Flick them in the flag. Flick them in the flag. I just go, fuck. Flick them in the flag. Fuck off.

And it's so bad. Because if someone's piloting them, then you may as well just hire the person to deliver the food, right? I would say people. And let's say people. Yeah, well, that's a thing. Shoot.

I can't help but think how much better this interview is going than the last time I was on. Oh, really? Yeah. Do you think so? Do you think it's a thing. I can't help but think how much better this interview is going than the last time I was on oh really? Yeah, do you think it's not fun? You want to be more fun guys? I was signed out of doc you sign Yeah, it was the worst day of my life. It's not your fault. What the fuck is my password? Quake everybody talk about apps their son Fucking yep one second every day Quick, everybody talk about apps they're signed out of. Oh, fucking. Yep. One second every day. Are you guys a real same password for every website?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One password, it's three letters long and then you use it for everything. Three letters long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. I got a lot of variations on the same theme. Oh, really? I'm not going to say what the theme is.

Let's not say what the theme is. Because suddenly, like like the day after this is released your Instagram is hacked because people Your doc you sign is already hacked. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. Spaghetti is all in caps because it's spaghetti. Got it. Yeah. Somebody introduced me to a drink called a spaghetti. I don't know if that's a racist term, so sorry, but it was like, Is it a reference to Tim and Eric? Now you used to use to the show you know, it was just too. Meaning Sunday. Oh, that's what I mean the other day.

Yo is this racist. Now this is your new spin off of it. Is I don't know if this racist. I'm sorry. I bring it to your show. But they poured apparel into a beer. And it's good. They called it a spaghetti. It was really good. Yeah. I was like, I'd drink that. Yeah. I had one of those. You want to make a lot of the ball game. Mechalata. Mechalata, really. Okay. I called a Michael. That's

correct. Michael Landon. Oh, wait. No, I was watching a little house on the prairie. Oh, okay. You weren't doing anything. You were watching a little house on the prairie. Oh, man. Oh, man doing anything. You were watching Little House on the Prairie. Oh, man. Oh, man. Guys, it's nice to not promote any of that. It's nice and there is nothing to promote, obviously. You guys just. You guys just. You guys just, you guys just, you guys just,

You guys just, you guys just, you guys just, You guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, You guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, You guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, You guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just, you guys more downtime. Of course, we're all out on the picket lines every day. Yeah, when was that me or there? Which life you were taking when you were taping was like getting a lot of I'm one of the few who pickets during the week is because I am that thorough. Go there just alone.

I go there on heat advisory days. I suffer for you. See, all the Brody Steve's eyes. Why you been on Galaxy? But what else do you do during your downtime during a time such this? I mean, you guys probably have hobbies, right? Yeah. You garden, don't you? No.

What? Do we know each other? Do we know each other at all? I don't know. You bought it. This is turning into last. My last episode, you don't know me. You bought a crazy fucking place out of the middle of it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it.

I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it.

I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not, whatever you want to house. Yes, it's a shames. I assume you have an STD. STD? That's what you want. Which one would you associate with? I don't know them well enough because I have to have you. I have to have you. Not to my knowledge. You think you may have though, like, a committee at some point or something like that? I don't think so. I think I would know.

I think you wouldn't know you fucking sicko. Why would I know about your STD? I don't know. Maybe you went to college to be a gynecologist because you're a perv. Oh man, I would love it. This all started by you going, hey, do you garden the tony like no? No. And now we're off the risk. Because you don't know me.

You say hey, do you garden? I don't know. Do you knit little fucking socks? I would like that. The littler the better. For your, just to put up one pinky. I hate it little fucking socks. Not for babies either.

No. For your one little pinky. That's what you do, Tony. What the fuck do you do? Where best friends that you don't know? What do you do? Well, here's the thing though. Here's the thing. Cause I came to this realization recently during this track.

I'm like, I don't know what I do. I'm outside of like, you know, constantly lining up projects. I write, I act, I do that stuff, but I'm like, that doesn't, that's not a hobby, that's not a person. That's just a job. So I'm like, what do't do I do I know it's really maybe you're he thought maybe you have relationships I do have relationships that I do put time into those I know the opposite of a breakup. Yeah, I have doing the opposite of a break right now It's fantastic. I played video games, but that's like I feel like everybody has that hobby. Oh, that's a hobby I think that counts as a hobby, you know what I mean? I mean, something that you sit down,

you spend 10, 12, 15 hours, yeah, 24 hours. Yeah, exactly. I think it's what's your favorite video game of all time? Oh, of all time. My God, I love that this is just the first one that's coming to my head. Okay, if all time is too hard of the last week.

The last week, Hollow Knight. All time, maybe maybe BioShock. Wow, that really helped you answer the question. It really did. So he didn't know what I'm currently doing to understand the overall picture. So a biological shock occurs in this video game. Yes.

And what then? And then, oh man, this is like the most complicated video game to explain. Is it underwater? It's underwater. There's no, you know what it is. No, I've seen. I've seen I've seen a photo of it. I was like, I think that's water. I think that's I think this is I was watching

finding Dory. Okay. Okay. And then someone's talking to you about a iron brand. Oh, is that happened in biological shock? In biological shock, there's a lot of like, it's in the, oh God, there's how boring is this? It's just so rare. It's obviously better than the docky side. Okay, you know what, so I got to sign out of bio-shock. Oh no, I forgot my password to bio-shock. Is that one you can play against people? No, you can't, that's all single player.

And you're, but it's a great story and there's twists and turns and yes you are under one. It sounds lonely. It's terrifying. You ever play a video game, Tony? Not since like Sonic the Hedgehog when I was a child. Really? Yeah.

So are you thrilled when you see Ben Schwartz because he's the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog? Oh, yeah. I know that guy. No, every time if my phone lights up with a little text from him, I'm like, it's the Hedgehog, man. It's a Mr. Hedgehog. Mr. I call him Mr. Hedgehog.

Yeah. I don't even know him that well. I call him Mr. Hedgehog. Oh, yeah. You have to do these things. Should I play a video game? Should you teach me how to play a video game? That would. Yeah. I don't even know him that well. I call him Mr. Hedgehog. Oh yeah, you have to. You guys. Should I play a video game? Should you teach me how to play a video game?

That would be fun, because I don't really, I play one video game. Is it a gardening video game? No. No. I play the Mario Kart video game. Okay. And then I bought a couple others that I have not,

I play a little bit of the Mario Kart. Who's your Mario Kart character? Scott. Yeah. He's little and yellow. He's got maybe antennae. Is that Ein Rand? Yeah, I think it's Ein Rand.

Pikachu, who's in that? I don't know. I'm like little and yellow. What, I mean, there are variations of like Yoshi, Boishi, Gooshy, a yellow Yoshi. It's like Gooshy. It's Gooshy. My favorite Mario Kart characters, Gooshy. My favorite, my favorite Marker characters, Gooshy. Gooshy.

My favorite Mario Kart character that doubles as the sound effect when you stick your fingers into a woman is Gooshy. See, you're a perv and you went to gynecological school. I will say, I brought us here. And also, you always find his way there. I think last time I was here, I was making some, I was making some sounds as well.

Look, we've had several classic appearances on this show Classic top 10 and now you're here as friends. I know they've ever made that year Actually, I don't know this one. Let's campaign for this one to make the the filibuster of all Let me do to make sure this one's on the We need a stunning reveal. Oh, yeah yeah. We gotta forget like five more passwords. Yeah, that's true. We gotta forget five more passwords. Get signed out of apps.

No, we need like a stunning reveal. We need a scoop, like a reveal. I mean, honestly, like we only talked about a month ago and when I said, why don't you have any children, the biggest reveal would be like, you coming out of the show saying, I took care of it. I took care of it. I took, like I'm a hit man.

I took care of an opposite of a hit man. You're giving lies. I'm a hit man. I took care of an opposite of a hit man. You're giving life. I'm a hit man. You're giving life. God, that would not be a life. A child assigned to me. I think you'd be a great month. No, that's very nice to be.

In terms of you're a great human being. And I think, well, I mean, you know, you know, I've always said that about you. You're top five human beings. Sorry. Wow. Superman.

Okay. Jesus Christ. You're counting Superman as a human being. Yeah. Well top five. Wow. Superman. Okay. Jesus Christ. You're counting Superman as a human being. Yeah. Well, he's not and he's appearing. Human appearing. Someone said the most human. He can pass. Okay. Okay. So your top human being is someone who is not a human or real.

He is a being though. Look, you get birth to the xenomorph. I don't know what that is. Oh, Oh, Tony, you got a lot. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Look, we're going to buy you a bunch of holy oil. Ali, aliens, aliens, alien to the third power. Alien retribution, alien cube. I like aliens. I don't know what a xenomorph is though. Is that aliens from aliens? Oh, why not Is that alien from alien? First out. Why not use a call daily and? You know, I know.

I was going for like a, I'm glad I've really brought the bigger specificity. I was going for like a specific, a gig or specificity. You know, a gig or specific. Who are the, who are your other top five human beings? Superman. Superman, Jesus Christ.

Superman, Jesus Christ. Or whatever. Jesus Christ. Okay, Jesus Christ, sure. What's his middle name? I think it's Hubert. Yep. I was going to say Halloween.

Jesus Halloween Christ. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that because like everyone thinks he was born on Christmas. He was actually born on Halloween. But he's like super in the dressing up. Yeah. He's looking loves it. Santa Claus.

So what dress does an angel because he was born on Halloween. Is that why he's in those robes? God God before he put him into the world was like, oh, you're gonna look so cool He's gonna be the coolest guy of anybody. Your dress is a biblical guy. Yeah, this could be a Christmas Sandals because we're being real blasphemous. I like that. I like I like I like Do you think you'll see the kingdom of heaven Jack think so I've been on this podcast is my No, I Think it's being on this show is what's keeping you this is right cabinet good Do you think you'll send to the

See he doesn't have like an in-between for questions. That's great. He's great. Most level you would do in the show 11 years or whatever the fuck and you're either just like care about nothing in between You're like how is your nose or you're like how is a good question? How is your nose because I notice you have you have a different piercings in the last time I saw no they're the exact the same They're really you don't swap those out. I don't know You don't do a swap no remember when you also thought I'd been at your house four months prior I had been there for eight time has no meaning these days I I remember just like it was literally right above us here.

I think that when you think you're hanging out with me, there's someone else there. Because you're saying that I garden, that I have different piercings. You really must be spending time with a different woman. So let's spend some time together. Because the only time you ever come over here is when we're doing this.

Yeah, I know. I know, right? You know what I'm saying? So let's spend some doing this. Yeah, I know. I know, right? You know what I'm saying? So let's spend some time together. You set the parameters. Okay. You set the topics of conversation. I'll talk about anything.

Okay. You talk about what you want to talk about. Okay. And then you asked me interesting questions about myself. I have been. When? Right now? Yeah.

When? What? What? I asked you if you went to gynecological school. And you did not answer. You dodged it. I died. I definitely got I mean If a guy spends time auditing a few classes By the way, could you audit gynecology classes? Like you're like hey I just want to see what's up down there. I think they figured that one out quick

They're like you can audit any class on campus And then everyone leaves. I'm like, oh, the clock clock. I'm not going to the college anymore. Yeah. Put the college in gynecology. No, but I'd ask you really good questions. Like I'd ask you, since you became a father,

do you find that your approach to comedy has changed? Like have you softened, have you become more earnest? I think the past 20 minutes says proves no. You know, as conversation referee, good question. Hey, thank you. Good question. Yeah, I would love to, you know, I'm not going to commit to a lunch with you, but I would love to have like a light snack with you at the point.

Okay, do you have roller blades? Yeah, of course. We'll do it on roller blades. Great. Okay, we'll see you there. You can bring your own though, right? Yeah, I've got my own. Because I've one half pair. I have a second pair in your sense. Bring rollerblades. Great. Okay. We'll see you there. You can bring your own though, right? Yeah, I've got my own.

I have a second pair in your set. Bring your second pair as well. Okay. Just to make sure. Can I referee? You can referee our rollerblading. Yeah. I want to say the thing.

I'll just angle you both the score at the end. Please. We're going to push each other over and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, but then we have to know each other. And then the next time I'm here, you'll know what to ask me about. All right. Wonderful. You have my solemn vow that we're going to do this. We're going to rollerblade. We're be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back.

We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back.

We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back.

We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. I remember when I emailed you and you got upset. When did you, when did I get upset? And you were like, this is more of a text thing. I did say that. I don't remember this, but I'm really laughing at myself. What a funny thing to get mad about. You're like, this doesn't rise to the level of an email. Was it about something you were watching?

It may have been Star Trek related. I always check. No, but you're just friends. You're just being able to speed up. I think you were watching something and you emailed like, ha ha, look at this, I could think. And I was like, why don't you email this? Text.

Ha ha ha. Look at this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, was it a picture? Was there a picture in the? I'm gonna find this during the break. No, find that email. I wanna know what I yelled at you about. Yeah.

All right, we're gonna, speaking of that, we're gonna take a break. And when we come back, we have a professor. We can gonna take a speaking of that. We're gonna take a break and when we come back we have a professor We can ask the professor about the kind of college role I'm so glad I'm really glad I set that up also. We have a couple of podcasters are gonna be here You guys can stick around for at least one more segment, right? I believe so. All right, great We'll be right back with more tawny more jack more comedy bang bang will be right back after this more Jack more comedy bang bang will be right back after this that

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that would have like a barbecue and you'd you'd hit four of them. Now I think no one has any barbecue. I never do anything for Labor Day. I don't think I ever that's the spirit. I just supposed to take the day off. It's just too it's too fucking hot. I feel like I don't really leave town. Yeah. Like this is a good time to go away from here. But you're not this year. No, I am. I'm going to Joshua Tree. Oh, there you go. So it's doing the same thing. What are you doing Joshua Tree? You, you, uh, don't say. Take a look at that. I was just gonna say, Oh, right.

Look at that. In arc, although I was not on that robot earlier. Yeah, you are the king, not. I'm not the king, not a podcasting. You are definitely the king, not a podcasting. Take that fucking back right now. I know what I'm gonna do. No, not on me.

Take that back right now. I'm not the king, not a podcasting. I'm not it, Tony. You have a yellow card. I on it. I'm sorry. I call it like I see it. All right. Well, you'll take it back by the end of the show hopefully, but we need to go to our next guest. He's a professor. Very exciting to talk to a professor. Please welcome for the first time on the show Robert Kinesda greeting Scott Johnny Jack Greetings to you. I'm thrilled to be here to talk about my research. I'm a professor of Psychol. I like that. Like these guys to be honest like you know we don't cut to the chase at all. No, no, no

the tangents. Well, I'm sorry. I'm used to lecturing. I have to wrangle these fresh. Well, let's, let's role play you lecturing here in the style of you just coming on the show because like, okay, let's pretend we're students. Hey, what the bell rings and get to your point as quickly as you did. Okay. Ring. Greetings. Good freshman be quiet. Greetings Anthony.

Yeah. Jeremy. Oh, you're not even doing as quick as you did. Just do it as quickly as you did. Okay. Ring, ring. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Greetings. Free to do it as quick as you did just do it as quickly as you did okay Time to start class Doctor Robert can I List you're not listening to me. I was listening. My name is free to your name is free to wonderful I know freed up. He said Jeremy don't call free. No, free, uh, we've talked free, uh, free, uh, we've talked.

I'm sorry. She looks so much like a free. Uh, free, uh, okay. Wait, wait, I got it wrong. I'm thrilled to be starting class. I'm thrilled to be starting this lecture. Is that what you wanted, Scott? I, I, I, I love it.

I love it. No, I like it. I like it. You know what I mean? It's like you come on the show, you're like, okay, that thrilled to be on the show. I'm a professor of psychology. I did this and I did that. I did this. It's like, you know, just relax a little. We were all like role playing as students, which I like. I like that. He correctly guessed it. Do you think that the good point? Do you think that me launching right into my lectures is making the students want to talk even more? I think they didn't, they're like,

Taylor isn't right away. Well, you're a rule follow. I'm on historic rule follow. You're like the good boy of Hollywood. Good boy of Hollywood. I am. You are. I am, Scott.

That's a solid old happy door. Hollywood's good boy. Hollywood's good boy. Who's a good boy? Professor, would you call me Hollywood's good boy? Or are we talking about would you call me? Holly was good boy. Or are we talking about Jack or Frida? Oh, oh both. Both. That's right.

You're an actor. Okay. Yes. Yes, I am. I'm following the rules. It's how he was good boy. You played the part perfectly. Thank you. You are Hollywood's good boy. Oh, that's exciting.

When you're on set and and someone gives you a note, is your automatic go to like like, sorry, sorry. Yes. No, this is an honest answer, yes. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry. She's gonna say that, yes, I can do it. Immediately apologize and it doesn't help anything.

Anyway. That's fascinating. Psychologically and immediately saying sorry when someone gives you a note. Oh, right, you're the psychology professor. I think right. Oh, okay. How is that interesting to you? How does like what what do you think I what do you think's going on with me? Yeah, what's what's his problem? Well, it seems that well, I wouldn't know if I would call it a problem necessarily, but clearly you have

perhaps a feeling of but clearly you have perhaps a feeling of insecurity that you can't stick to your gung. What do you think that comes from? Oh, I'm glad. Do you think that you grow up and people are always making fun of you? Yeah, always. Just saying, you fucking Hollywood good boy.

That's what that's the exact name they call me in third grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tough name they called me in third grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tough name to be bullied with. Yeah, exactly. I'm always getting signed out of fucking duckies. And you're saying sorry to it.

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry. Now that's fascinating. You're saying sorry to a computer program. Well, I mean, I think like why is it fascinating? I think we were saying beyond the, to be honest, we were just making a joke though. Well, I mean, I think like why is it that we were saying that? I think we were saying that.

To be honest, we were just making a joke though. Yeah, yeah. Like he's not actually doing it. Oh, no. Okay. I think I really agree with DocuSign for signing me out. You do? Yeah, probably.

I'm like, what the fuck is this? You personified it though a little bit, I bet. You're like, what the fuck? What the fuck is this? Like DocuSign, why are you doing it? DocuSign, piece of shit. Yeah, but no, we were just kind of making jokes. Yeah. Okay, this is fence mechanism perhaps,

afraid that maybe you really do get angry when DocuSign signs you out. You want a little college idea? Yeah, no, I'm deflecting. I mean, he just, I don't want to. I mean, us making the joke about him doing the, I look, I'm not gonna explain humor to you, but let's get back to what we were talking about.

I'd like him to explain humor to us. Yes. Okay, sure. If you explain humor or professor. As far as I understand it, humor is something that all of human beings can tap into, because we have a sugar. You can superman.

Hi, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me. Now, superman. I'm playing with on fire, try to do that call. How do I get it out? Does superman make jokes? Does he sometimes? I think when he gets shot and he goes, it tickles.

Like, that's kind of a joke. That's a joke. Is that a joke or is that just a response to a stimuli? It's kind of a, well, I don't know Professor Kanae. To be honest, he's a fictional character too. So I don't know why he does what he does, but I think it's all written by someone else. So I don't know. Well, that's exactly the type of thing I'm interested in. Why do we do what we do?

Right. Is that what you teach about? Yes, conscious. Now I want you to get to what you were talking about. You do you want me to start the lecture No, no, no, no, we're not role-playing still just tell us about what what do you teach? So I teach about psychology. How did I get into it? I'll start with an anecdote psychology. How did I get into it? I'll start with an anecdote. When I was in college, I don't know if you remember in college, but it was possible to sign up to be a participant in psychology studies. For extra money, I thought they'd pay you $20 you go in you do an experiment. They like cookie up to wires Cook you up to wires Give you surveys all sorts of different things give you cookies or say they're gonna give you cookies and then don't give you a cookie Exactly, I thought okay this might be a good way to make some extra beer money

I were you drinking a lot of beer at the time. Oh yes. In college as a freshman, as freshmen do. What are we talking about? We're probably 45 beers. Holy wow. That's six and a half a day. Six and a half a day. Although I wouldn't say that it was every day the same amount.

I would say it was some days a lot, some days less. So some days more than six and a half. Yeah, you're doing like some days 45, some days. Some days more than six and a half. Yeah, you're doing like some days 45 some days zero the West rest of the week. Oh, okay, so it you look great. Yeah considering well, thank you Yeah, do you ever pour an app or all on one have a spaghetti poor have a spaghetti I don't think we had those back when I was in college though that sounds fascinating I mean, I don't think they market them as one thing. You probably have the individual ingredients.

Ingredients, yeah. Available to you. Available to you. Beer. Yes, I do have two ingredients and those are the, I think they've both been around since like the, the tens. Yes, and I did have a little bar in my dorm room.

It was cases of beer, several bottles of apparel. Although it never combined it. You had a lot of ingredients. It never occurred to me to mix the twain. Did you have any other ingredients to mix the twain? Well, Scott, I was a college student. I wouldn't say my palate was very sophisticated. So you had a lot of beer and a lot of apparel. And I drink them independently. Wow. Just average. Sometimes you'd have 45 beers a day. You never thought like, hey, I'm here. I've got all the apps all over the world.

I'm going to ask a wild question. Did you ever take a shot of apparel then drink a beer right after it? And did they ever mix in your mouth briefly? No, that would have been strange. You always had a buffer in between them of love 24 48 you know 72 hours 24 48 72 hours at least 24 hour buffer between consuming beer and consuming apparel Those are the most important hours if you're ever kidnapped for the police to find you those first 24

Can we agree on that? That's not the first time I've heard you bring that up Can we agree on that? That's not the first time I've heard you bring that up. Be here. Is that true? Is that true? I've heard you bring that up before. I don't think so. Now that's fascinating.

We'll get back into this. That was it, our personal comment. We'll get back to this. Is it because after 24 hours, the amount of ransom goes up? No, it's not even some monetary thing. Or perhaps after 24 hours, Stockholm syndrome begins to set it. I don't think it's that. Wouldn't they know as a psychology professor?

Well, I don't know these are criminals, I call it. No, I'm not a criminal psychologist. You don't like people who don't break the law. Do you understand what you drank 45 beers a day and never mixed up with anything? I suppose it was important to me to feel like I had some amount of control over my habit. Do you still drink? What was your psychology study that you got involved in? Ah, yes.

Because we didn't like how long he was taking, so that we changed it. Well, so I went down to the psychology department. A researcher takes me into a room. She sits me down. By the way, we don't need every step in this process. Like you can do a smash cut to you in the middle of the smash cut to I'm sitting down at a table. The researcher brings me a plate with one cheerio on it.

She says, I'm going to leave the room. You can eat the cheerio. However, if you refrain from eating the cheerio and wait till I come back to the room, I will give you two cheerios. Oh, okay. Sounds like good deal to me. Yeah. Two cheerios.

It sounded good to me as well. I wanted the most amount of cheerios I could get. She left the room. I immediately ate the cheerio. She came back five minutes later empty handed I said where's my second Cheerio she said you don't get a second Cheerio you didn't follow the instructions I said this is ridiculous. I'm upset. Wow. I'm a fit. She said you have to leave she gave me my $20. I went to the store I purchased a bottle of

apparel and sood here and I went. No Cheerios. No Cheerios. I would move on. I decided you mentally psychology professor origin story and you left. Well, yes, I went to bed that night furious. I woke up the next day and I thought about what happened and I said, that's fascinating. I was aware that I wanted two Cheerios and yet I could not refrain from eating the first Cheerio immediately. Right. This is something that they test out on babies to kind of teach them, you know, delayed gratification.

Later on, I would find out that I had actually made history, I was the first adult to ever immediately eat the Cheerio. The first. Wow. No adult had ever done that before. Had every material, really. They'd always waited for the second Cheerio. Always.

Wow. Honestly, I'll say that's how I eat my Cheerio. Most of the time, as someone comes into a room with a plate with one Cheerio on it and then I just wait until I've been actually it becomes a box because it goes one two four 16 32 64 Possentially infinite amount of Cheerio a beautiful mind over 256 what? 512 now you're just naming boxes a craze 24 would be the next in that

Sure, thank you are sure you're not naming boxes a craze 1024 would be the next in that sure Thank you Is a professor of math? Well, I have to know a bit of math statistics when I'm running regression. What's your favorite statistic? My favorite statistic is that the human body is made of 70% water Wow Is that interesting because it's like you'd fascinate if you touch someone occasionally you can hear just a little like That's right.

What's the difference between a statistic and a fact? That it will. A statistic uses numbers. So I think that qualifies as a statistic. Well, so if I'm holding two eggs, I say how many eggs is this and you say two, that's a that's classic.

It's maybe it's that like, maybe it's like, okay, a fact is a good cold hard truth, but it's just like the way it tends to go is 70%. Can you really call something a fact if you created, like I'm holding two eggs? Well, fine, you're holding two eggs. Well, you're the one who picked them up. Of course you did.

Of course you are. It is a fact. You disagree that's a fact. No, you know what I'm saying? You can just as easily not be holding the two eggs. You're the one who fucking picked them up. All right, pick something up. Okay, I'm picking up my whiteboard.

You're holding a whiteboard, is that a fact? That's what it is. It's only because you told me to. Well, then I'm calling it a fact and not a statistic. I can chart. It's a fact that you were holding the whiteboard. Now, if I were to say, Scott was holding one whiteboard

that would be a statistic. One out of, out of an infinite number one whiteboard. That would be one out of it. I get it. Out of an infinite number of whiteboard. Well, there's probably a finite amount of whiteboard. Probably is. What do you think that number is? I would, if I had to guess, I would say that.

You do. You do have to guess. All right. Do I get a Cheerio if I guess correctly? You get one Cheerio if you guess correctly. If you choose not to guess correctly you get one Cheerio if you guess correctly if you choose not to guess you get two Cheerios Okay, there are seven billion and 3500 Whiteboards in the world in my cheer you get no cheerios No Cheerios. I told you you would get two if you just didn't guess at all

But not even the one You never told you you would get to if you just didn't guess at all, but not even the one Yes, you never said that he would get none It's implied That is not his orc status. Furious right now. He's on his way to the list. I'm furious It looks like you're about to go to bed furious as well. You're lying down on the table. They say never go to bed angry I do it all night Regarding Cheerios exclusively. Well, that's not the only stimulus that I respond to. Another week after I did that first, that seven days experiment, about seven days. So in that span of seven days, I did have one night where I drink 45 beers

and a full glass of apple. A full glass of aparalt, 24 hours later, in a glass, a chilled, in a chilled pie glass. I go down to the psychology department. I've signed up for another experiment. Okay. So they're like, this is the same psychology department. I've signed up for another experiment. Okay. The same psychology department. The same psychology department. Different researchers, these are double blind studies. The researchers are always Confederates, not the scientists themselves. Wait, what? I don't know what the, maybe we don't know what the Confederates. Well, we know what double-on-stein. I'm, you know, obviously picturing people in Civil War era

uniforms. The blue and the gray, you know. It would be someone who's in on it, someone, but not the researcher themselves. So like a Confederacy is people who are in on it. How racist was this steady? It was, I don't believe it was racist. Are you gonna appear on Hershey's?

I'm not sure if this is racist. I'm sorry if it is. And that show happens on Scott's podcast. Yes. That's my part of your podcast. So sorry if it is. That's my. No, I meant Confederate in the sense of,

you know, a colleague is someone who's, that's a word that you don't hear used to like that. It's so, it's specific to psychology. Does this have a word for a confederate? Confederacy of Dances is about a group of, yeah, anyway, sure, okay. So I sit down in a room, they placed me in front of a computer, they tell me they're going to show me a series of images.

They are tracking my eyeballs, they're monitoring my heart rate. How? They've got some sort of ocular sensor that's... They're not doing it with just one of those big like ear things that you sticking to your like the big giant earphones. Well, they did put a giant earphone on my head, but I don't think it was to track my eyeballs. I think it was okay. I'm not sure what it was to track my eyeballs. I think it was okay. I'm not sure

what was just funny for them. What is mocking you? They were laughing a lot while I was watching. I'll tell you right now, I've put giant earphones on many people's heads and it's always as a joke. Yeah. Yeah. It's rarely scientific. Are you sure that joke's not masking some sort of... Okay, okay, we'll flip it on me. All right, all right. So what happened? So they showed me a series of images of different people. Then after I was talking, not Hitler, I hope, because that would make you run. No images of Hitler, they appeared to be artificially generated perhaps just generic

looking human beings. They told me afterward that through the eyeball scan, they were able to see that I was always looking at their elbows. My heart rate was increased. They told me that I was horny for their elbows. How do they know that? They measure that. They were well, perhaps, the ear device. Okay, the heart rate can accurately predict horniness. I think if they have the combination of different, all the different data points they can try angling. Is there a scale?

Is there like a horniness scale? There is a horniness scale. Do they have sensors on your penis as well, by the way? Yes, and my penis is fully erect. That's what it is. That'll probably be a lot of fun. Let's get rid of the idea. The heart rate, yeah.

That's otherwise everybody going for a draw. But the elbows, huh? The elbows. The elbows, yes. I was certainly surprised to find this out about myself, but then they said, we're going to show you a series of just elbows. If you can avoid getting horny, you'll get a cheerio.

If you cannot, you will be receiving an electric shock. Oh wow. How do you say to give any one of those? Wait, so there's no potential to double your cheerio? No, there's just one single cheerio or electric. Well, one cheerio per elbow that I don't get horny by. Okay. One electric shock per elbow that I do.

So you have the opportunity to be shocked twice per picture if you can see two elbows. Well, theoretically, they could just, there could be different images with more people in them. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. So you can actually increase the amount of elbows. Yeah, a lot of crowd Yeah. It's a good point.

Yeah. It's a good point. Yeah. It's a good point. Yeah. It's a good point. Yeah. It's a good point.

Yeah. It's a good point. Yeah. It's a good point. Yeah. It's a good point. Yeah. It's a good point.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I read that it I got distracted and then I said wait a minute that was quite now in your Class of double take you're not horny twice also your double take was so slow and beautiful It was like a lyric. I wish people could have seen it was so It's well it didn't feel beautiful to me because I was shocked Twice sorry. Oh no

Over the course of that, I was shocked 20 times. And we see any Cheerios and I went home. I was furious. I took my $20 and went to the store. I bought Abra all of my case of fear. I went home. Wait, you bought Abra all. Anacase beer for 20 bucks.

How old are you? When was it? This was 1973. Oh, yeah. So you must have money left. That was hard. Yeah, I had $18 left over. That went to my savings account.

You still have the $18? No, I used to purchase a house. Incredible. Wow. What a success to our business. It was a different time. Yeah, it was. I don't, they were, but Biden Flation.

You know what I mean Biden flation a few other bouts of inflation in the intervening years I want to do become a professor though it feels like you've just been furious because of two studies well after that morning I woke up and I said okay I was upset yesterday but that was fascinating. And I went down to the registrar's office and I changed my major to psychopher. I was going to be a gynecologist.

Oh, well, this brings us back to the question we wanted to ask you. Can you audit gynecology classes? If I were a gynecology professor, I would allow auditors. You would, really, okay. As a psychology professor, why would you do that? a gynecology professor I would allow auditors. You would, really. I would. As a psychology professor, why would you do that? Perhaps because I want people to see the work that I'm doing.

You're proud of it. You'd be proud of it as a professor. You're currently doing research, right? Like you're currently in the middle of a lot of, is that what you came on here to say and then we'd completely ruin it? Oh, you were talking about, you were talking about like, oh, I'm so excited to share my reason. Yeah, why? Yeah, is it into L. Banger? I remember the, yeah, why are you here? Why are you here? I was to share with us. Well, I was here to hopefully enlighten your listeners,

and I hope that I've done that so far by... Regarding what? Your personal history? so far by regarding what your personal history. Just different sorts of things that happen in psychology and how fascinating they can be. Two things that happen to you person. I mean, that is not interesting. That's not interesting to you. I look, I think every human being is. Just thought of a building to something.

Well, I do, I am currently doing research of my own. Oh. Now, this is cutting edge. Okay. You all I'm sure have heard about the rise in artificial intelligence. Oh, sure. Yeah. We thought we were striking. We're against it, right? Wow. That's really that's what they're studying over in the gynecology department. Okay. So people have been wanting to know can an artificial intelligence be sentient? So far, even the most advanced artificial intelligence have seen no sign of sentience and even if they were, it would be difficult for us to know.

I'm coming at this problem from a slightly different angle. What's your angle? Professor. Could I take a sentient human being and turn them into a computer? Oh, I see. Like a reverse bison tenial man. Sure. So like a, stick with me on this. Stick with me on this. So you're kind of bio-shock.

You wanna take a human being, someone you know. Someone I know myself. Oh. Oh. Whatever you wanna be turned into a computer. That's right. Why? If I can turn turned into a computer. That's right. If I, if I can turn myself into a computer without using, without losing sentience,

then I can show that it is possible for a computer to become sentient. Wow. And of course, that's a good point. How would you do it one way? It stands for reason. You can do it the other way.

Yeah. Would you keep your elbows? Would I keep my elbows? Yeah. Well, I would hope so. If I can maintain my sentience intact, that means that I would not want to get rid of my elbows. If throughout this process, I get rid of my elbows, you will know that that's how we know. That's going to say. That's going to be me in there anymore. Are you saying you want to become a classic desktop or laptop computer?

Well, if you had to pick a computer to be, what would it be? Yeah. Well, if I had to pick a computer to be Scott's laptop seems pretty nice. This one over here, you've been eyeing it the entire time. Like it's full elbows or something. Well, it certainly bends and it's got a nice angle to it. Yes, laptops are kind of like, it's got a nice angle to it. It's a laptop, it's a kind of a... It's a curable 90 degree.

I see there's some Cheerio crumbs over there. I have a, yeah, of course I have a stock full of Cheerio's here for my good guests. Jack, of course you're getting the wine chair. Oh, he was good boy. He has of course me. Wow. But what about me? What about me?

If I have any Cheerio's left, I'll consider it. Wow, but what about me? If I have any Cheerios left, I'll consider it. I mean, you know, I am gonna give you $20 after Oh, the show ends. Yeah, I mean, you can spend it on whatever you like. It won't get me as much apparel as it used to In the past, but I suppose what's apparel? I know know this is like, oh yeah, I'm not in touch with a common man anymore. I don't know what a single bottle of apparel costs. What is it? Well, for a working family of four, they can barely afford a bottle of apparel and they're daily fulcraw in Biden's America. I don't know what the earth is going to.

I'm not going to guess what it costs now because last time I guessed a number, I got furious. You got furious even though I didn't know. You were not giving you an order? You were furious? When I didn't receive two Cheerios. Oh, right, right, right. Wow, in the past. It's interesting, just you furious.

When I was guessing the number of whiteboard. Oh, okay. That was you furious? Yeah, you've seen the same. I guess I'm even keeled. Is this like a Hulk scenario where you're like you're always angry and not your secret Yeah, are you in Hulk mode right now? Check must be part of the Marvel universe He's doing his research What characters are still available?

Certainly what characters are still available shut up. I know all the characters. Yeah, he's got to be bridge face I would have all dumber younger brother jackway for bridge face. I'm gonna say this conversation's pissing me on Oh, sounds like something that my students would raffle about when I'm trying to get my lecture. Raffle, I profess our conassants. I'm sorry, I don't mean to piss you off. I'm trying to be a gracious host. I apologize. Maybe we're not listening to you as much as I should. Sorry, I just, I find you fascinating.

And I was trying to. Oh, yeah. The content of what you're talking about, not so much. No, I want to separate myself from Scott. You want to sever our cases? Yeah, because I would like to sever our cases and try myself as an adult because Because you you as someone who gets a undercover angry is very scary to me So I don't want you angry at me because I wouldn't see it coming. Well, I found it quite scary myself when I would snap in these situations and that's what made me want to find out more about what's going on

Happy inside that brain. Have you done that? Have you sort of worked on your own anger issues? I mean it doesn't seem like it because you you saying you're Fearless. I'm very furious. Yeah, yeah. The word you use. In a word I only use when it comes to like Cars that are fast use when it comes to like, the cars that are fast. Would it count as working on my own anger if I am slowly replacing every neuron in my brain with a microchip and seeing if I still get angry

about the same things I normally get angry about? Yeah. Then I'll do everything but go to therapy. Yeah. I know I will or won't. What will you or won't? Don't put me in that room? Did you is it the room?

I don't like do it on zoom you can be in your own house. Oh like my house. Okay, you can be in a park do it outside Really didn't I do dig it. I'm talking hate it. We'll talk about this later. I don't want to go. Okay, wow This is a fascinating I feel like you just used fascinating and interesting. I was just kind of a social bandit. Oh, you think that I'm trying to mask my discomfort with your ambivalence about your therapy by saying that's fascinating?

He's staying exactly right now. What is happening? Exactly. That's what I'm saying, getting up, said. Oh, no. Achirio. Okay, look, I have, I have, this was the last time you had a cheerio.

Last time I had a cheerio was this morning. Oh, okay, so you have mom, you have mom, time. You have mom, time. I have a box of Cheerios at home. Why don't you just bring them with you and when you start feeling furious, just pop your nose.

Yeah, you're an adult now, you can have all the Cheerios. You want, that's a great thing about being an adult as we don't, we don't have gatekeepers to Cheerios anymore. Yeah. But doesn't it feel better to get a Cheerio after completing a task? Not really. You can do that though.

You can set a little task for yourself and then when you complete it, you can be like, time for Professor Kanastas Cheerio. Also, it's not like you're doing the thing you did with beer and apparel where you're binging it. You're having one Cheerio. Yeah. Like that, that's enough to satisfy you, and that's great.

Okay, so I run an experiment on myself where I give myself cheerios after completing tasks. Yeah, psychologists psychoanalyze themselves. Mm-hmm. Huh. Then you don't have to replace all the bits in your head with microchips or whatever. Yeah.

Now, have you begun this process at all? Or are you human right now? No, I'm 1.3% of the way through. Oh, I mean, that's, yeah, that's not nothing. What have you replaced at this point? Well, I've replaced, so each neuron is sort of like a circuit. It takes inputs and outputs. And is your brain working the same way have you noticed? Or every time I replace a neuron with a chip that replicates that exact sequence of inputs and outputs I check in with myself,

do I still like Cheerios? Yes. Okay. Do I still like elbows? Yes. Do I still have anger management problems? Yes. You're three things.

Okay. But can you still remember certain? Three dimensional. Yeah. Can you still remember certain words though and facts that you used to know? Or let's see, 70% of the human rights. Okay, we know that one.

Sorry, that was the same. What are the names of the three stuages? What are the names of the three stuages, Larry, Moe and Barson. That was what are the names of the three stuages? What are the names of the three stuages Larry Mo and Barsin Okay, I think you honestly I'm a barson Stan. I fucking love bars Professor can ask I feel like you were a bar. Nice the 1.31 was was where you were keeping those three stuages knowledge But here's the thing I think if you you so Barson is not one of the three stuages,

I don't know. I don't think you were a computer though. Wouldn't you know more about the three stuages? So I guess you are still in there. You know their birthday. Well, I'm not trying to enhance my cognitive abilities. I'm merely trying to show that it's possible to maintain my own consciousness while being purely silicone.

And you professor think the third stooge is named is barcin. That's, I think you're still human, buddy. I think you're still, I think you're still sentient or you are. No, he's replaced the neuron that knew what the third stooge's name is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

With a, these microchips are ones that you've been developing or are they ones you just bought from a store? I've been developing them because they have to be extremely small, but we've been... So you're a size guy? You're a size queen? When it comes to my neurons, yes, smaller is better.

Hey, size matters. And smaller is great. When it comes to elbows, I want my penis to be as large as possible. Okay, there we go. The size of the elbows, huh? The size of the elbows. It's less about the size than about the angle.

Sure. So, what is the next time we're all wearing jackets in here? What's the next elbow angle? Because I can do 180, then I can do 90. 90, and I can get to a spout there. 30 right there. Wait, so it doesn't matter if you can see the bear elbow. It just matters that you know.

And like the angle of an angle. Well, that 30 appears to be the most pleasing elbow. You like 30. What about when I the laptop? Yep. Stop. Stop it. OK, it's 30 degrees right now.

So you just like things that are 30 degree. Apparently. Oh, I've, we've 30 degrees right now. So you just like things that are at 30 degree. Apparently. Oh, we've just done an experiment. We've learned something new. We've learned a fourth thing about it. Fascinating. I like the angle 30 degree. I think this takes the place of the elbow thing though.

Because it doesn't like elbows. It just likes 30 degree things. I don't like that. Do you like Montana in March? Do I like Montana? It's like 30 degree things. I don't know. Do you like Montana in March? Do I like Montana? It's like 30 degree things. Now that you're saying that, that sounds pretty good. So you like any definition of the word degrees?

Oh, well, as long as it is next to the word 30. 98 degrees, the band minus 68 degrees. Stop that. Okay. 98 degrees, I don't like that. No, no, but like just like minus 68, minus 68. Yeah. But what if we up to 69? No, then that's going to be 20.

Sorry, sorry. I'm curious again. I thought I was going to high five. We have to stop doing statistics on the show. We're doing too many statistics. Stop doing what we're doing. I didn't like that noise. All right, look, a professor, I don't think we're gonna unravel all of your issues here right now,

but do you promise to come back when you replace another, I mean, I'm not gonna say another 1.3%, we'll never get there, but. I would love to come back and update you on the progress I've made. Okay, good. I'd love it when you're like 60%. So we can real see like computer, then we can then.

Why are we skipping 30? Sorry, sorry. When you're 30%, do you promise to come back? I promise to come back. Okay, can you stick around? Absolutely, I would be thrilled. Because we have another segment on the show, Jack and Tony, I know you guys have to go,

but when I come Tony, see you later. Wonderful to meet you. We come back. We're gonna have a couple of podcasters here. Wow. And then you and me are gonna bro out during the break because these guys are leaving. I like the sound of that. I'll crack open a few cold ones. And I'll pour myself a pint glass of aparol. All right. I thought for sure you weren't drinking anymore,

but you still very much are still okay. I have you, I have you, drink. Okay, cool. All right, we'll be right back with more comedy, baby, baby, I normally do. We took about two and a half hours. Yeah, how's that? Apparol hitting you, buddy.

Yeah, I mean, honestly, it hit me within five minutes and we've just been pounding them. Yeah, yeah. Separately, of course, we've, we've, we've, I've been over here drinking my beers. I want to stay as far away from you as possible so there would be no mixing mixing. I don't know what would happen if I mix them.

I don't really want to find out. I don't want to find that out either. It's too scary. But we do have to get to our next guest. We've kept them waiting long enough. They've been outside this entire time. I feel bad for them. But you're ready to get to them, Professor?

I'm really we're really good friends now. Oh, yeah. That's for an overhead. I like that. That's very flattering. I don't know that I would say that in turn, because that's all right. I think by the end of this,

I think you might come around. I might. I just might. Well, let's talk to them. Hopefully they won't become better friends. I hope not. I don't want to them. Hopefully they won't become better friends. I hope not I don't want to find out what happens to me if they do I have some Cheerios just in case Okay, good that calm me down. Okay, all right. Well, let's get to them. They are podcasters

Please welcome to the show for the first time Brigaduin and Greg hi everyone. Welcome to the show Thank you so much. Everyone is so excited to start this episode. Yes, historic episode. Yes, historic episode. Yeah. We are here with Scott Ockerman of Comedy Bang Bang. Bang Bang.

And this is us. This is I'm Greg. And I'm Brigadude. And we're from the podcast. Oh, real cocktails. And this is our historic crossover. So we want to say to all the bang, bang fans, thanks for giving us a chance.

And all the cockheads, welcome to another one of these. Yep. Yes. Cockheads. Yeah. That's our fandom. That's our fandom. So, you know, we have this podcast.

It's called the real cocktail. And you guys are getting to your thing quicker than even. You know what? We're efficient. That's just because we're really, really efficient. Well, it's because I'm here. You're in C block, so I get it. Plugs are coming up soon.

Oh, man. Oh, I don't even know what that is. Is that a thing from your podcast? I love these events. I hate to learn about the other. We learn the A block of ours. And we're having a great time so far. I hate to break it to you, sweetie,

but you're in the C block of ours. Oh my gosh, well, I'm not in anybody's C block. I live in an A block in my mind. No, no, no, no. No, so the thing is with our, with our show. He wants to get to it. I really want to get to it. This is our thing.

This is our thing. Here's what I'm guessing. You guys are podcasters and you think you're doing an episode of your show, but it's actually an episode of my show. Oh, that's what I'm going to be. That's what I'm going to be. That's what I'm going to be. This is a crossover episode, but it's actually an episode of my show. Oh, that's gonna be a breed. That's not a breed that this was a crossover episode. This is a crossover episode. So it's both of our shows and neither.

But that takes place during the C-block of your show. And the A-block of our show. May do I have to do the B-block and C-block of your show? Absolutely. It's gonna be a black. We're gonna put on a pot of coffee, Professor Canasta. All right, I will be able to join the B block and the C block. I mean, that's up to you.

I'm doing Greg, I guess. Absolutely. This is fascinating. I wonder how these two podcasts will mix. Well, a lot of apparel and a beard. Man, he talks slow. So here's the thing. The premise of our show is kind of fun.

Do you talk fast? Yeah, we don't really talk fast. We just kind of make sure there's no dead air. Yeah. Dead air is scary. There's scary. It makes us sad. It still want to die. Yeah.

So there's our premise initially started out. It's called our premise. Our premise. Let me tell you our premise. Because you know when you pitch a podcast. Yeah, there is. You have to have a premise. You have to have a premise.

And you tell somebody, this is what the podcast is going to be about. You do have to have a premise. Yeah. What is the premise of your podcast? Well, okay. So the premise of our podcast is we watch every episode of Arial Monsters and we enjoy a delicious craft cocktail. Yeah, we got bored of that premise About two episodes in yeah Real monsters. What's a real monster? Oh my gosh, I we don't know because we watched it for one episode

It was just like are people gonna remember this? Clearly Scott doesn't. See our recap podcast about something we've never even heard of. Yeah, that's exactly why we abandoned the premise. I think some people may have heard of it and also abandoned it the way that we did. I remember there was one monster who held his eyeballs in his hands for a couple of years. You know more than we did.

I don't even remember that guy's name. No, we remember nothing. I have no idea. But, you know, what we learned is that like people weren't really tuning in for the recap or for the cocktails, they were tuning in for our personal, our personalities. What are your personalities?

It's really fun. Oh my gosh, we are like classic odd couple. It's exactly like that. Yeah, like I'm like really like neat. And I am never messy. Yeah, it's insane. Like I just can't ever leave a mess. Our reporters off the charts, our chemistry cannot be,

nothing. Yeah, our chemistry, people tune in just for the chemistry. They're like, we don't even care about the recap, we don't even care about the cocktails, we just love the two of you hiking out. Yeah, just two of you talking in a room now. No, so we did. Hanging out.

Oh, yeah. Without dead air. I gotta say, in a classic odd couple, you know, right? It's Felix and Felix. Felix and I think. No, not Barcin. No, it's Felix and I. What's that name of the monster who held the side balls,

Barcin? I wouldn't know, we stopped watching that show. We did stop, yeah. I do have questions still. Yeah, Felix and Oscar is like, you sound like a Felix Greg. And you sound like a Felix Brigadon. I've never watched that show either our podcast isn't about shows. I know it's not about shows. It's just about the two of us talking about our lives.

People tune in to hear us relate to each other. Okay, we'll tell us about your lives. What are your lives? Oh my gosh, we are so different. It's crazy. We're just like I live weirdos. I can't believe we've been friends. It's crazy. I live in Silver Lake and I live on the edge of East Hollywood Which is just about Silver Lake Shit dead air Take something else. I love you're struggling to think I I am. I love you're struggling to think of you

in a third. I think because our fans know everything about us already. So it's like, and even listening to this, they don't want us to reach for it. So I know, but unfortunately, you're also on C block of my show and no one has ever heard of you. I wear glasses and I can't fucking see. So, but you're wearing glasses because of that?

Yeah, because otherwise I can't see shit. Yeah, right. It scares me. It scares me. It scares me. Because I used to be able to see, and this is just a sign that we're all in just decline, just in a state of end. No, the worst.

The degenerative state. Yeah, we're all just going to become fucking worms. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. I don't like that attitude. Sorry. Let's just, let's just stay positive. We're keeping there.

No dead air. Scott, talk immediately. Oh, okay. How did you become friends? Oh, my God, I love that story. That's such a fun story. Yeah, okay. Yes. No, you go. No, okay, how did you become friends? Oh my God, I love that story. That's such a fun story. Yeah, okay. Yes, no, you go.

No, no, no, you should start. Okay, no. I was hosting a, just kind of a cocktail brunch on the roof of a, this apartment building. And I was trying to, Was it your apartment building? I'm sorry. It was an apartment building.

It was someone's apartment building. Yeah, right. We still don't know who to this day. And I was trying to host an AA meeting. Yeah. Man, they just meld the together in the best way. And we just had this report. Yeah. A A people started drinking. Yes. The people who were supposed to be drinking quit drinking. Yes. Everyone did a swap a room. And this is where you were there, by the way. Yeah. I'm pretty sure you were at that meeting. Yeah. I think that was I was floating between both A A you were furious if I recall. I was floating between both a you were furious if I recall. I was angry, I remember that.

Yeah, yeah, good to see you again. I went home and immediately went right to sleep. I woke up the next morning and I thought that party was interesting. Yeah, and it sounds interesting to me. So you guys met. And then we were like, oh my gosh, we're such classic opposites.

This is crazy. What is it? I mean, what is this for? That's the other instance was in opposites. And so then we decided, let's host a podcast together. Let's harness this wacky energy. You know what the world needs? Another podcast.

With two platonic friends who have a weird tension thing. Yeah. Do you guys have a weird tension? I mean, I noticed that you're saying very close to each other. This is, we do that for heat transfer. Yeah. Because I get really cold and he is freezing all times. I just never warm. Yeah. So it's just insane. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay. So you know like when you're in the wilderness and you need to take off your clothes and get a sleeping bag to survive,

that's what we're doing but all the time. Yeah. I've never been in that situation. I have to admit. Oh. Well, never been in a situation where you're in the woods and you got to take a sleeping bag. So I've got to sleep. I've just arrived. It's kind of been this- You've never been in a situation where you're in the woods and you gotta take a sleeping bag to rest. You've got- Did you sleep with me? I'm just a rock? Did the sky never necessarily- You know when that's a driving wheel, you have to get naked, to get this little ride together with a friend that you don't like as well? You've never had to get naked in that sleeping bag to- You have-

Because the clothes prevent the perhaps- Them from finding you, yeah. And this is the source of the weird tension. Which is how loud- For saying- And because our fans, they expect it, they tune in, they want to hear this. And you guys- I don't know, of any other way to put it, but- Mm-hmm. Oh, wow, because it's helpful and because our fans they expect it they tune in they want to hear this I Don't know that of any other way to put it but I'm so sorry. There's other ways to put it

Really just about time to go to a break As well CBB listeners, it's just about time for a break We're gonna let you listen to our sponsors. Yeah, we have so many breaks. We have so many sponsors. Yes Tarzan rugs. Yeah, if you're in Tarzan and want a rug from a place that kind of sounds like the area you're in Tarzan rugs Tarzan rugs. You can swing on them. You can swing on them on the world. You'll find out and we're back Thank you so much. No, it's my pleasure. Do I get a cut of the Discuss money on my I mean well, we're we kind of discuss money on my so this is what the show is you guys

25 and then I'll be like what about a quarter? You guys are very similar other than that one party that you threw I Think the party actually was like the distillation of both of our personalities coming together. You know? So once you got there, you realized. It was like, oh, the balance, you need the yen and the yen, you need the sweet and the salty,

you need the mayonnaise and the custard. Manazine custard. Ever tried it? I guess not. I put that on the shopping list for tonight with that $20. I've eaten mayonnaise and I've eaten custard. But I never had both at the same time. And you've tried to keep them as far as-

Oh, you've never had a, you've never had a, Spanato? Spanato? Spanato? A Spanato? I don't think we had those back then or now. Here's the thing. Every night I like to have a Spaghetti and a Spanato.

Oh, just unwind. That sounds divine. That's really divine. It's pretty great. or now? Here's the thing, every night I like to have a Spaghetti and a Spanato. Just unwind. That sounds divine. That's really fun. It's pretty great. And like yes, I do live with Brigaduin, but we're not together. No, we're not together in any way,

except for our just our vibe. Our vibe is together. Your vibe is together, but like so, I'm gonna say. Yeah, it's so pretty. Your vibe of when you're having sex every night. It's so nice for me. We actually have to go to another break. Yeah, thank you listener so much. We'll be right back with more of this Sizzards by scissors to cut shit stop cutting things with a knife you fucking freak scissors and we're back

That was a commercial just for the concept of scissors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I don't. Scissors. A pencil with music by Reggie Watts. He's moonlighting. He's moonlighting. Hey, I've been there before with him. It's very, very in demand. Yeah.

The stuff you can do with his mouth. And we're back. So, um, I don't know. Yeah, the stuff you can do with your mouth. Are you guys having sex or what? And there's one more commercial break we have to get to. I'm so sorry. Listeners, you guys are being great sports.

We just gotta get through these sponsors. We'll be right back. Rocks. Hey, are you ever out in the need of coming to roll down a hill? Hey, just because you're doing an ad about rock, stop throwing them at me. I will not.

Rocks. And we're back're back sounded like someone was getting stoned to death during that commercial Stone to death that I don't like he marijuana was not in ball. Who is it that pays you for a commercial about rock? Whoa, very Very personal question. I don't... that's incredibly personal the government the government that's the government or government people who own all the rocks

yeah yeah the geology sector i suppose we don't want to own the rocks on your property or i thought i did but i imagine if the government came and start confiscating them there'd'd be nothing I could do about it. This is good. This is good podcast. This is good. Oh, so is this what your show is about? Is it like foreign geology facts? Yeah, we tried to get into gynecology a little earlier, but it's a fun topic for a podcast.

Yeah, so this is what you do on your sebing-bang show. Honestly, I don't even know anymore after that two and a half hour break where I was pounding app rolls. This could end at any time. I could just walk off the set. And so, and I know this. And I know that they're following you, buddy. Yeah. Going off into the sunset. Taking our $20 friends, taking our $20 putting a down payment on a house. And is this the the rapport that people tune in for? I mean, I think every episode from from now on probably I'll have my best buddy here. Yeah, and I think people like my slower cadence They're okay with the dead air sometimes. Yeah Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I just started thinking and that's not fun. It feels cold cold cold cold like a rock like like 30 degree Also, maybe I mean Brigadine. I mean maybe you're cold.

We moved one inch apart and so now we're both getting Yeah, I'm sorry. Sorry, I have extra park is here if you oh my gosh. I love a puffy jacket and don't give one to Greg. I love a non thin jacket. And I don't give one to Greg. And I love a non-thin jacket. Yeah. We're wild. We're wild.

So people like this. People like listening to you. Yes. Yeah, that's funny. I was going to ask the same thing about your show. I mean, to be honest, I don't know why anyone would listen to my show, but I'm fascinated to you in your podcast. But that's the fascinating beauty of podcast.

You don't need to know why anyone likes it. Stemists have really lowered where this is the kind of thing people enjoy. Yeah, people kind of want things to make the least amount of sense. And then they're like, ooh, that means I have the most niche humor. Yeah, yeah. Now I'm kind of in my head about hosting right now. Really?

Do you want us to take over? Do you need some pointers? Oh, yeah, we could give pointers or we could take over. I mean, they're taking over giving pointers. I'm going to give it to taking over. Just take over. Oh they're taking over giving pointers. I'm gonna give it to taking over. Just take over. Oh, okay, great. Interesting, okay.

Am I also taking over or are you taking over? I mean, I could take over. I really know how to. I don't really know how to. I don't mean to like divide our dynamic or anything. No, I just don't really know how to. Are you okay? Your eyes are just slowly crossing.

We'll have fun. Great. You're gonna have fun talking. I'm a fucking talker. Great. No, I'm gonna get on my way. Great your arms are stiff. straight up in front of you like a Frankenstein I mean a gas they should be a 30 degrees That is better. Yes, he is a lot. I think I see what's happened to him though host just keep hosting I but I'm trying to diagnose you. You don't know how to be a guest

No, I don't know how to be we've've only ever been this inseparable, incredible dynamic duo. Do you want to try being a guest? Okay, I'll try a host. You're like furious. A lot like when Castello is mad at his comedy partner, you know, Barsu. Yeah, it is a lot like that. This is interesting.

What is it about being a guest instead of a host that has you so torn in and twisted up and not I think Professor can ask you to help do slow what's dressing me up uh can you wake faster professor can ask you just a little bit faster professor please can ask let me try asking that again faster yeah ring that bell please ding uh what is it about being a guest instead of a host that makes you so okay he's already so I mean I guess it has something to do with like I'm What is it about being a guest instead of a host that makes you so? Okay, he's already so good.

I mean, I guess it has something to do with like a mountain control and I don't mind if I control my own destiny and I just can't like, I can't just just just host. Hey, and we're back. So everybody, it's been a wild weekend. Any Labor Day plans? Yeah, are you going to four barbecues? I'm going to four barbecues.

Actually, it's a lot like my show. That'sues. That's an idea. What do you think? What do you think? It sounds like you're hosting again. No, we're both hosting. This is our classic rapport. Who are your top five human beings? My top five human beings will start with the human show. Of course. Love is Zena Morph. I got to go Zena Morena more. I gotta go with of course the Noid. Yep. Oh, it's the Noid. It's the Noid. It's the Noid.

I gotta go with the Noid and then of course Tiktok Krock from Peter Pan. Yep. And, you know, let's just throw on Jesus Christ and Superman. Okay, great. And Tiktok Krock. And my top five are Peter Paul Mary Mary, Spud's McKenzie, and that's it.

I said Spud's McKenzie, not a few hours ago on a different show. Did you? How crazy is that? Do you watch other shows? You do other shows. Do you do other shows? People ask you to do other shows.

Oh my gosh, you have time for that. They don't ask me. Wow, we. That's crazy. Right, you do three, though. It's you, Barson, Barson. And that's three. That is definitely three.

Well, look, Brigaduin Greg, you guys are great at what you do. Thank you so much. Really quick. Really quick. One more break. We have to do one more break. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much. Existential dread. If you have it, you are alone. That's it. You're right.

And we're back. Wow, that was for the concept of existential dread. I don't. The government base of the school. They own existential dread. I don't. The government base of this all the time. Oh, they own existential dread. Yeah. Well, guys, we are running out of time on the last segment of my show. And we are just getting started on Unreal Cocktail.

So make sure you stay tuned for the next three segments with these two. But hopefully, your name was Barsen? I think so. Oh. And Scott. But hopefully, in the opening segment of your show you can incorporate what we do in the last segment of my show which is something we only have time for in Cypher just to listen to the whole plot. Plug your movie or your TV program Oh wait, maybe don't

Eh Just don't you cross the picket line Plugging your podcast or your book should be fine As long as they don't have anything to do with show business Your career could be dead on the slab If you accidentally scap so just be careful when you Oh, you strike is over by the time this is

it's not now it's I think that was weighed with plug don't scab and yeah look we're you know it's a weird time we can plug like technically you can you know, it's a weird time. We can plug, like technically, you can plug animation and it's not part of the strike, but not gonna try. Not gonna even gonna attempt it.

You know, it's all too scary. I'm a bit of a rule follower, but I know Greg is. Yeah, and I'm just like a real stickler for the rules. Yeah, okay. Do you wanna plug your podcast though? Yeah, tune into our real cocktails every day. stickler for the rules. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you want to plug your podcast though? Yeah. tune into our real cocktails every day. Every day. Yeah. Both of us hosted all day. Every day. All day. Every day. All day. Every day. There's another podcast I could plug.

Oh, yeah. I think Jack Quaid is a producer on. Really? It's called hero club. He never mentioned it. He must never. He never did. He's got to go take a shit all the time. It's called hero club It's a Dungeons & Dragons podcast. It's very fun. They take out all the crosstalk and just do the voice line So it kind of sounds like you're listening to a little radio play very fun stuff Great. Why haven't I heard about this podcast because You are not familiar with the career of Jack Quaid. We've said this so many times. I don't follow movie stars who aren't black. Fair enough. Professor, it makes sense to me.

You know, Professor Barça, I forgot to bring this up while he was here, but I saw that movie Oppenheimer. I'm gonna call him Mr. Bongo's from now on, because he was just plugging away at those Bongo's, almost like he got one note from the director, say like, what if you played these Bongo's from now on because he was just plugging away at those bongos almost like he got one note from the director Say like what if you played these bongos and then every opportunity was just banging away at these bongos I can't wait to watch that movie because I don't know what happened in the historical event. I don't know whether it's States on a character named mr. Bongo's or

Anyway when when he comes back. We'll have to talk to him about obviously you can't talk about Oppenheimer now All right professor canasta. What what do you have to plug who I'm sorry? Sorry did you change your name to Well, I don't have much to plug other than my psychology lectures. One of my former students, however, his name is James Manion. He is a improviser comedian. You can see him fourth Wednesdays of the month at the upright Citizens Brigade Theater with the Team Lee Roy.

What about on months where there are five Wednesdays? It still is the fourth month. So it's not the last Wednesday of the month However, he does a show at the Elysian theater once a month called comedian feud and that is on the last Wednesday So that how does that work? When there's five sorry last Sunday of oh, okay, so I was gonna say is he going back and forth from the that theater is horrible. Yeah, that was a fun show. I did that show. Yes, Scott, I heard about that. I wasn't there of course you weren't. No, but it was a very fun show. And that's on the final Sunday of every month over at the Elysian. At the Elysian theater. Yes, wonderful. Try to do it once a month. Doesn't always happen. Right. I want to plug the comedy band being book is still out there.

Mr. Bongo's wrote an intro for it. And holidays are coming up and people can get it for the holidays. Yes. Brickadoon. What do you want to say? I just feel like I wasn't given an opportunity to plug. Oh, I'm so sorry. I guess.

Is that how you normally do this show? You skip one person. Normally, yeah. We skip one person. It's an honor usually. Oh, well, that I'm so sorry. I guess is that how you normally do this show you skip one person? Normally, yeah, we skip one person. It's an honor usually. Oh, well I'm happy. You want to plug something then go ahead. Yeah, just my favorite actor Johnny Newsom will be at Ottawa Comic Con in In a week. So if you live in Ottawa, you could go see her there Wow, and just because I have to have the last word in every social interaction I have one more

He does and I also have to say a thing at the end. Yeah, of course. So non black actor, Jack Wade will be performing with his own. I already know she is out. Non black actor, Jack Wade will be performing with his sketch comedy group, Sasquatch, at the Dynasty typewriter on September 17th.

Go get tickets. Oh, that's quite a lot. Is this a group that he has been performing with for a long time? Yes it is. Yes it is. And do they call him Mr. Bongo? They don't. They call him, you fucking nephobaby get in here.

Get in here and write your goddamn skits. You piece of shit. They're not very nice to have. They're really not. I installed a microphone in there. I love to hear those tapes. Yeah. Maybe it's via new podcasts.

Yeah. Speaking of new podcasts, look, we just put out an episode of Entry P. Newer's Entrepreneur Tour with a lot of great guests on CBB Presents last Wednesday, as well as Hey Randy. And this book changed or saved my life. Can't remember the title. And it was only been doing it two years.

Yeah. I think it's changed. Is it changed? I think it's changed. I have nothing to do with it, but I'm a fan. I saved just too much, right? I would think so. Yeah, but so many great shows over there.

College Town is over there. Also, Scott hasn't seen. We just had our big hundredth episode where we watched Mama Mia. Here we go again in front of a live rowdy, rowdy audience, two rowdy for my taste. So head over there to cvbroll.com and you can get all that. If you're only listening to Comedy Bang Bang, you're only getting half the story. All right, let's close up the old plug-bang. Yeah. I'm gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be a little more like you're gonna be My God, thank you so much for coming on our show. How our show was not anywhere close to Dunning. No, how last time?

I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering,

I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering,

I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, I was just wondering, and Jack had to take that giant shit. But, Brigaduin and Greg, wonderful to meet you guys. Thank you for coming on our show. Our show is not anywhere close to Dunya. No, how long? It lasts for five hours. Five hours. Yeah, five more.

It's worse than the George Lucas talk show. I would know. I would know either. We don't listen to anything else. We're the top one. Yeah. Top one, yeah. We're the top one podcast.

And, uh, uh, Barson. You, you, Barson. You you, Barson. Right. Yes, that's me. Here's your $20. Thank you, Scott. And, uh, I thought I had Cheerios, but, um, no cheerio. Yeah, I just shook the box and, uh, I guess I had the last ones this morning.

I, not even ones this morning. Hmm. I... Not even one Cheerio list. No, I apologize. I'm getting a little bit frustrated, Scott. A little hot under the collar. A little hot under the collar. I'm going to crack into another beer and I am... Oh, wow, I actually believe you.

Wow, yeah, you look bad. Oh, I'm gonna try to, you know, just gather myself for the rest of the big walk. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this.

Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this.

Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this. Okay, I'm just gonna have to do this I always say. Every time I have one more break. We'll see you next time on their show. All right, bye. you