Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Jackman Backman (Asif Ali, Dan Lippert, Stephanie Burchinow)

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

Asif Ali returns to answer Scott’s questions about the solemn vow he made the last time he was on. But does his story hold up under scrutiny? Then, NBA superstar Bill Walton is more chill than ever and tries to help us all find a little peace. And small business owner Caroline Fingers will impress you with her two hands and can-do attitude! Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Comedy Bang Bang Episode Number 9-8-2 It may take two to tango, but it takes three to thrango. Welcome to Comedy Bang-Bang. Mm-hmm. Thank you to Gozbo. Gozbo for that catchphrase submission. Thank you, Gozbo.

And welcome to Comedy Bang for another edition. And wow, my name is Scott Ackerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang-Bang. We have an exceptional show coming up for you. I have my hype man saying, every single thing I say. I'm like M-Go. This is Migos now.

At first I thought that was a Nintendo character that I was unaware of. Now, I know who Migos is. Yes, yes, yes. Rangrop, drip, drop. I mean, I'm not that young. I guess young people wouldn't know who they are. Coming up a little later on the show, we have a broadcaster. Much like myself, I think we'll have a lot in common. That'll be a very interesting conversation.

We also have a small business owner. Oh, that's right. You know, our bonus bank series is celebrating small business owners. And I think this person's trying to get in on all of the wonderful buzz that's been happening about comedy bang bang recently. But before we get to them, we have to get to our first guest. Oh, God, here we go. Yeah. And in the biggest Comedy Bang Bang related entertainment story of this year, certainly.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, of course. We all saw a certain news item pop up in our newsfeeds, entertainment newsfeeds, of course. If you're in the trades, it was a devastating. If you're flipping through the trades and you're like, oh, well, what got ankleed? Yes. You know? Uh-huh. There was a certain program that did get ankeled that, let me backtrack.

You may know this guest from his three recent appearances on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast. Yes. Where in his last one, he made us a promise. A solemn promise. A solemn vow. Which we will be going over. And did he follow through on that promise? We will be trying to figure out the answer to that.

You know him from his work as a stand-up comedian. You know him from his appearances, even being a cast member, I would imagine, on the television show wrecked. Yes. Yes. And you know him. Three seasons of rec. Three seasons. Uh-huh.

How many were you hoping it would be? Were you like, three is perfect? Three was great. We were hoping for four. I budgeted for three and that's all I wanted to do. I fully financed the show myself. We were hoping for four to tie it up. I mean, I would have done it for a million. I mean, it did, but it was one of those like open-ended kind of things where we were like, are we getting another one? Oh, oh, open concept. This is a strange place to be informing you of this, but we wanted to invite you in. Okay. Hey, I'm ready. I'm ready. I always pack a bag when I do the pot. Yeah, an overnight back. We don't want you more than one night. And, you know, I was like, you know, that was, at that time, Reckt, I've had two jobs that I feel like are like the best jobs I've ever had. And Reck was like, is definitely one of them. And the show that we're talking about is the second one.

You mainly know him from his recent television show of which he was a cast member. Uh-huh. A little show called Deli Boys, which is on either Hulu or FX. never were able to land on exactly where it was. And it doesn't matter anymore. Please welcome Asifali back to the program. Thank you so much. Thank you. Into the four-timers club. Woo! Four in two years. What a big move. That's, that's huge. I mean, that would be entertainment news in of itself. And here's the thing, I submitted that to deadline. They have yet to get back to me. They haven't followed up on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They must be busy with other stuff going on in the entertainment sphere. Um, but you are back. Now, let's break it down. The first time you were on the program, Deli Boys, just premiering. Yeah. I was a big fan. Yeah, and I still appreciate that. Yes, that was a big move for me. Is someone not a fan anymore when a show gets canceled?

I think people, you know, can I still say like, I am a big fan of Deli Bois. Of course. Yeah, once you say it, you can't go back from it. Oh, really? Okay, but it's in the present tense. Yes, always has to be in the present tense. Okay, got it. I am a big fan of Deli Boys.

Because nobody says, like, I was a fan of Sopranas. Well, it sounded weird because I was talking about an. episode that happened in the past, so I changed all of my verbs to past tense. I was like, I was a fan of the show, but I still am a fan of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I was like, it's canceled. Am I still a fan of the show? We landed on, I am still a fan of the show, and I was a fan of the show back on that fateful first appearance. Now, on that appearance, you made us a promise. I did. I did, yeah. What was that promise? The promise was the moment I find out whether we get picked up, or not, you are going to be my absolute first point of contact. This is, and we admitted this news would probably come from your agent. So it's not like, you know, you know, it's not like you're going to call your agent first. Your, your loved ones, your parents, your other cast, like, all of that would fall by the wayside and I would be the first to be notified. The first outside person to know about it.

Yes. Not in the sphere of like, oh, wow, we all got picked up for this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, was that promise kept? Now, I want to, as a person who is embraced sort of transparency and honesty. Oh, you embraced it since that, since that episode? I was very, and this is a life lesson for people, I was very, I was living a very duplicitous life. Were you?

Oh, okay. You know, I'm glad that you're mad enough to stand up and admit it. When it comes to news about my career, I was very withholding. And I have since learned, since that time, I, I broke my promise and you were not the first person to know and it was deep. So it's not that you were withholding it from anyone. It's not like, oh, I didn't tell anyone. Because here's what it seemed like from my perspective.

I'm just going about my day. Doop do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Like Christian Bale said about that guy who got in his eye line. Doop, be do. I'm going about my day. Uh-huh. And suddenly I get an inkling in my brain. A tiny itch of like, I need to know what's going on in entertainment news.

And so I... You get like a spidey sense about the trades. Yeah. I was like something's happening in Hollywood. And I say, where can I look up entertainment news these days? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I entered that into Google. And it sent me down a twisted path to a little website called Deadline.com.

Deadline.com, yeah. Now, this was the website that started during the writer's strike of 2007. or whatever when they would say told you all the time and I was like this this thing that we're not in the middle of a writer strike right now I think we just ended one uh-huh so I was a little confused on this but but I went ahead and clicked on it yeah and then what is right there on the front page of deadline but deli boys picked up for season two yeah with a picture of me and my and my absolute dump truck yeah yeah yeah just you're you're full on shelf yes just just highlighting it

and I was like first of all shouldn't the headline be awesome Holly has huge ass you're burying the lead truly burying but no it's all about the it's all about the show how it's picked up for a second season

even uh was there a quote from you in this I can't recall no I wouldn't they didn't reach out to you for no no no I don't do that I don't do pull quotes you don't do pull quotes no no they hit me up did they really and I was like I was wearing sunglasses at the time You know, that's what you do.

When you get picked up for a second season, you put sunglasses on, you drop the top. Yep. And you're just driving around. You know what I mean? Drive around, picking up hose. Yeah, pick up. Oh, yeah. And, you know, that was a great week for you.

But it left me feeling like a little bit in the lurch because I was like, wait a man, also made a promise to me. A solemn vow. And we had you back on the show where you admitted that you let us down. Yeah. And I know that I just laughed, but it is a very serious. thing and I again want to apologize sincerely to the fans and the community that you've built here. And by the

way, you did not come on to promote season two. Season two still was going to be filmed months away. You came on to apologize. To first and foremost apologize. And I will say by the time we started shooting I made another promise on the show that I made two

actually. You made us two promises and we'll hear how both were followed. Yes. One was if anyone sees me, they can tell me and then I will sincerely apologize to them. Yes. They can tell you that they were upset with you about that. Yes.

Not just if anyone sees you. You'll apologize to them. I was apologizing to servers to restaurants. Yeah, everybody, yeah. Right. And while we were shooting, I ran into like two or three people in Chicago, one person in Philadelphia, and I apologized to all four of those people. And were they nice about it?

They were nice about it, but they were like, hey, you all. me an apology. And I knew what they, I immediately knew. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I knew. And you gave it to them. Okay, so that's promise number one. Yes. Kept. Now, promise number two was that if we get a season three, you will know. Was it, was it that, or was it regardless of what the news is? Oh, yeah, yeah. Regardless of what the news is, I'm going to let you know. You're going to let me know. Like right when I find out, you're going to know. Right when I find out, you're going to know.

Okay, yes. So pretty much the same promise as the last time. Yeah, pretty much the exact same promise. But basically about whether it gets a season three or if it's canceled. Oh, yeah, if it's canceled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And so then I found out.

Yes. Okay. So here's again, this is from the listeners perspective. Okay, okay, okay, okay. A few weeks back. Yes. They also are reading these websites that deal. with the business of show.

Yes. And a big headline comes up that says, Deli Boys not going forward for season three. Yes. At FX or Hulu, we don't know.

We don't know where this show is. Could be BET. It could be. We don't know. And suddenly the messages start flooding in, did Assov tell Scott? Did awesome tell Scott?

Is this how he's learning the news? I am here to tell you that on... I was involved in this and I'm on the edge of my seat right now. I'm here to tell you. Let me see exactly when that story broke. Yes.

Dely Boys not going forward at either FX or Hulu. This story came up on August 14th. Okay. Okay. That's when the news broke to the general public. I'm here to tell you. Uh-huh. That July 31st of 2026 at 6.56 p.m.

Uh-huh. I received an email. Yes. Headline of the email. Do you call them headlines when they're emails? Yes, we're doing that now. We're doing that now. Yeah, yeah.

The two-timer curse is real. This is, and then the message is, this is your fault. L-O-L. We are done. No third season. And then your name and your phone number. Yes. I don't know whether you included that just for me, like I'm supposed to call you to console you or whether that's just your signature.

I kind of put it in there like, hey, man, let's just see how he's vibing. You know what I mean? Like, let's see if Scott has a minute. You know what I mean? Maybe he's dropped off his daughter. His wife is not there. And he just wants to, you know, pop on FaceTime and sort of just give me a call. And I'm here to tell you that I received nothing.

Now, were you surprised at what hour I wrote you back? Because I sent you a response. That was a very sincere response that I believe was very heartfelt of like that's something along the lines of I'm sorry to hear that. Did you say I want you to be on the pot again? Well, first of all, let's just talk about the time. The time is 4.43 a.m. I'm getting back to you. Yes, yes, yes, yes. There is a reason for that.

Yeah, you're out on the streets. I was in Dublin. Oh, okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, so like I believe I awoke to this news. Is that possibly true? Let's see, 443 here would have been. Oh, no, maybe you, maybe I received, well, let's see. Can I say, Scott, I would have, I, for the sake of the story, I really wanted to be that you woke from your, just like your spidey sense here for the deadline thing, that you just stood up out of bed.

I think that actually is very close to what happened. It would have been the first thing I saw upon waking up. Uh-huh. This is a travel day when we're getting on the plane from Dublin back to the U.S. Okay, okay, okay. And this just ruined my trip completely. But that's why it happened at 4.43 a.m. I did say some nice things about the show.

And then I said, let me know when you're free to say it publicly, we'll get you back on the show. Yes. And you responded, said whenever they decide to go public about it, you'll come back. Now, what is not discussed? Was I the first person? that you reached out to. I think so. Yeah.

Let's open up the old emails, Asif. Were you not? Not my emails. Your emails, my friend. Oh, I didn't email anybody. You didn't email. Okay. When did you receive the news?

I received the news basically before. Did you receive it via phone call or via via text? Via phone call from the producers. From the producer. Can you look up when you got that email on July 31st? It wasn't. It wasn't an email. It was when you, I'm sorry, when you receive that phone call.

Okay, let's go in here. Let's go back through your phone and see exactly when this would have. Now, I'm receiving the news at 6.56 p.m. Let's see exactly when this phone call took place and how long the phone call was. I also want to know that because how long should a phone call be when you're telling someone that's on a show that you produce that. Yeah, the 31st. The 31st. 31st.

What time? Is it a message? 9.31 a.m. It was a group. It was a group. Yeah. 931 a.m. Something's not adding up here.

931. And this is AM you're saying? Here time, yeah. So that was the official one. But maybe you're thinking it's not official. I was basically given the hint that it was not happening. Oh, okay. That's just a hint email.

No, no, no. This was the official one. The hint was given to me, like maybe two days before. Two days prior to that. Okay, so I don't count that yet. Yeah, yeah. But I had a feeling in my gut,

much like you have about Hollywood, that I was like, oh, this is not. This is not going to be a good news. Yeah, here's my issue. Yeah. 9.31 a.m. That puts there to be a, I believe, nine and one half hour gap.

This is. missing time. Yes. Okay? Yeah. I need you to go through your text. I need you to go through your phone. So you're saying there's a nine hour gap between when I got this information.

When you got this and when you reached out to me. Okay. So I called, oh, reps. My reps. But you said that that's outside the realm. Well, I would, I think it's outside the realm if they're calling you to tell you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're calling me.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. So everybody finds out the information. The information at the same time. They're calling you. Okay.

Yeah. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. Family. What does that? mean brother sister-in-law you're telling them though or this is just i'm telling them but this is my family i have to tell them my money affects them no no my family has to know how does your money affect them my older brother's my manager okay i i need to talk to you about getting okay i need to

talk to you about getting out of that relationship and that's kind of it let me let me let me introduce a fellow named dain cook to you no no no no i'd love to represent you that's all i'm sorry no no no my no my is incredible. Okay. And that's it, basically. That's it. No other calls? Mm-mm.

What about emails? No emails. I rarely email. I rarely email. You rarely email? I rarely email. Okay, that's good to know. Most things I, most show things I do, like for stand-up is over DM on Instagram.

Weird, but okay. Feel free to slide in. All the kids are, you know, doing, doing. Yeah. And then that's, and then I get emails. So you have nothing. You have nothing other. I have nothing about that.

I've nothing about. You're basically saying family. That's it. shouldn't count in the agreement. Family shouldn't count because I, my finances affect them. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

So, and, and also the fact that your brother is your manager, that he's a rep. Yeah. So he's a rep. So you have nothing. If I were, if I were to confiscate your phone right now, there would be nothing in there, no emails. Of anyone knowing about the show or anything show related, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Absolutely.

Can I look at your, can I look at your phone? Yeah. Okay. Oh, gosh. Can I have to pull out the old cheats. for this. I didn't talk to anybody about the show before I emailed you, except for my brother and my sister-in-law.

These are all your recent emails. Yeah, get in there. Okay. Go in the scent. You want me show you the scent? Yeah. Show me the scent and go to July 31st. Okay, July 31st.

Yeah. That's an application I'm not too familiar with. A lot of Scots. There's a lot of Scots here. Yeah, go in there. Right here. Right here. So the improv, this person, okay, yeah, we don't want to say what that is.

We don't. Oh, a self-tape. I'm sending it. I already knew. There's one that's unread that's a self-tape request. You didn't even read it. No. They hit me.

No, my reps hit me up in there like, don't. We're asking for an offer on that. Logistics about shows, something about cars. You're in the market for a car. Yeah. What's happening? Yeah. I'm not to sell you a car as well.

You don't have a lot of emails in here. I don't have that many emails. That's my business, yeah. You don't have any email? This is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm telling you, I'm the only person you emailed this day. Straight up.

Yes. Okay, texts. You got to show me texts. I'll show you text. I need, I, and then do I go into DMs as well? It sounds like you're mainly communicating via DMs? Well, I'm locked out of my, my Instagram until 6 p.m. I lock it out.

From 1 a.m. to 6 p.m. I'm locked out of all. Oh, so it's a time thing. It's not how much time you're spending on it. No, no, no, no. Okay. Interesting. Why is that? Because you only make terrible choices at night? No, because I'll just waste time. So, like, I have to, like, do work and stuff. What are you up to then? What do you mean? What am I after? You can't waste time. I'm trying to write. I'm trying to be a successful person. Got it. Got it. Yeah, you can go through here. So nothing, nothing. Who would you normally? Who was the second person after me?

The trades probably was out right after you. And then like... That's two weeks. But I feel like... Am I the only person? Now I'm starting to get concerned. Am I the only person you're talking to about this? No, it was you and then it was a lot of like, um, uh, close friends of mine.

That's who I'm wondering about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I told a lot of friends. And this was, but this was all August 1st? This was all like a couple, because it took me a couple days because here, well, here's the thing. The actual answer was, we didn't know when they were. they were going to put it out. Right. So if I, like, told too many people and then the news would get in trouble. Yes. But you trust me because you know that I'm a savvy Hollywood insider. I'm not going to go

talking to the trades about this or anything. In fact, even in my email, I said, let me know when they are comfortable announcing it. So I didn't know. So basically they said, hey, we're letting you know that it's not moving forward, but then we were like, yeah, we were like, so when can we tell people? Like, I.E. My reps were asking me to ask them because they were like, hey, we want to be able to like, call other places. And say you're available. Exactly. But when can you actually say this?

And so I was like, I don't really know yet. So you, in fact, this is to your favor. Yeah. You defied the actual wishes. Yes. Of the producers by letting me know about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God damn.

Yeah, I actually, if they found out that I sent you that, they would have been like, hey. Do you think they're listening right now? I want to say based off of how much people who are involved with the show work, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Based on how employed. Seems like you and I have a lot of free time. We have a ton of free time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is your fourth appearance in about 400 days. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm basically the newest squatter of this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I got to say, there's a little bit of wiggle room there, but with your family, maybe people won't be happy about, but I think that you have kept both of your promises. Damn, dude. I'm sweating. Thank you.

Thank you very much. A lot of people come on here and they're full of hot air. Yeah. You know, I hate using language like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you came on and you made a mistake. I did. You owned up to it.

And then you came back and made some more promises and you have kept both of those promises. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. And I just want to apologize to you about, and I know like the show meant a lot to you primarily because it's the number one way you sort. worst information about hot South Asian boys. And I feel like this is going to be devastating for you.

I had no idea that that was even a thing that I was interested in until I watched the show. And then you watch it and you're like, oh my God, I'm having like a second awakening right now. And which is why one of your laptops doesn't work. And so. It's a little inside joke to before the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His MacBook Air is devastated. And so I just want to apologize to you on behalf of the entire cat.

crew, produces network studio that, you know, above the line, below the line, the entire, you know, product, like, I'm just so sorry

that you are gonna, there's nothing here for you anymore in entertainment. Well, I have to say that I, I am a big fan of that show and a big fan

of your performance. Thank you. In particular. And I have to assume that there is nothing but great things in your future. And this is just yet

another stepping stone, to whatever is going to be that thing. I think so. And I wanted to ask you, like, what do you think should be the thing that I do next? Like, if you were, you said you wanted to rep me. I would love to rep you. What's the move?

What's the career move? Is it to go? Have you heard the initials A and I? Now, I have heard about this. Now, you're saying, license my likeness. Yes. And have me doing what? I would love for you to be like an AI avatar.

Remember Clippy, who used to pop up? I'd love for you to be the face of AI. Anytime you ask him a question. question, you come out and you go like, hey, let me explain this for you. Hey, hey. Heard you trying to Google hot Indian boys in your neighborhood. Heard you were bummed about deli boys. I don't think it has to be that specific. Hey, heard you're only even to jerk it in the pool house. So no one finds out.

What do you want to create for you? An AI avatar of Asif and his big old dump truck? So you're saying, so you're going to be one of those reps. I thought you were going to be one of those prestige reps that are like, hey, we're doing 824 dramas. We need you to get jacked. Have you ever even put out a self-tape for one of those? For an 824?

Yes, I sent out a self-tape for an 824 movie. Yeah, I did once, yeah. But they said I was too old. Too old. It was for like a college-y movie, but they like go from like 21 to like... Yeah, 27. And they were like, you seem to mature and like sexually like advanced. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Really, that was the feedback you got. Yeah, they're like, you just seem like you fuck way too much. Well, they're 824, they say they, you seem like you fuck well. Oh, okay, yeah. It's not the quantity. No. They did send me a tote bag, though.

Oh, okay, that's great. Yeah, they're like, here, take this tote bag. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's nice. Oh, okay. Yeah, I feel like, you know. You don't want me to do prestige. You're like, go straight to clip me.

No, absolutely. You need a quick income of cash. Because you have a mortgage. Yeah, exactly. You're my only client. Okay, so you're going to elvis me. I can't leave the country and you're taking 50%. Yeah. 50-50 is not such a bad idea, right? Especially when you're my only client. No, look, I all joking a salad, I do believe that you are one of Hollywood's great young, fresh talents. Apparently not young enough. Thank you. But I truly do think that you're on my radar now. That's all I got to say. I think that you're, I think you're on the upswing, you know. and better things will come from this.

And look, the show does exist. Yes. You put out, was it 14 episodes or 16? 16. Okay, 10 in the first, six in the... Yes, yes, yes. You put out 16 great episodes of television. That's more than a lot of people get to put out. And I feel like it's now on airplanes, apparently.

So people really see the show when it's on an airplane. I know, yeah. I would hear when I was on Andrew Savage's show. I would hear a lot. Yeah, because people are locked in and they can't use their phone. Yeah. They watch blast through all two seasons. on an airplane.

Exactly, yeah. So, I mean, look, you know, you're out there, your profile is raised. I think the next thing that you get, here's what I'd like from you. Yeah, okay, okay, here we go. Now we're talking Hollywood, let's go. You no longer have to apologize

to anyone who comes up to you on the street. And I don't know anyone, any more apologies. Okay, okay, okay, okay. If someone comes up to you and says, hey, I owe you an apology. Just give them a little kiss. You don't even have to do that. You can go, like, get the fuck out of my face.

So they can watch me walking away. Yeah, exactly. That's the end game here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the Avengers end game. But I think you don't know anyone any more apologies. Live your life. I think you're good.

Here's what I would like from you. Yes. The next, I'm going to say substantial role. Yes. And I'm not talking like, oh, you're doing a guest star on something. No, no, no, no. I don't even mean like a tiny role on a cool show. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like if you're on on Widows Bay or, but it's just a tiny role. Yeah, we're not doing that. Don't bother me with that. But the next thing you land, I would like to just hear about it before the trades hear it. I don't, you don't have to be,

I don't have to be the first call. I would just let, look, you're obviously not really communicating with your friends all that much. Just give me a heads up so I can go like, I'd love to rest easy knowing that you're okay. That I'm working. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Like, I worry about you. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So this is what this relationship has turned into. Okay, okay, so you just want to make sure that I'm, I just want to sleep easy at night going like, Hey, he's working. He's in the pocket. He's out there.

Now what, so you're saying it can't. So like the minimum is, let's say, guest star, recurring guest star. Like, okay, I'm in more than three episodes of this show. Yeah, like say you're in pluribus, right? Okay. And you have three lines. Don't.

No, I wouldn't even bother. Don't even bother with that. Yeah. Are you in two, or do you have it? Do you have an arc? You have an arc? Yeah. Whatever that may mean to you.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Three episode arc, that still would count, I think. Okay, I can make that a deal. Yeah, you know, or if you are a series regular on something, I would love to hear about it. Okay, deal, deal. I don't want to be reading these trades and suddenly see, like, you're cast in something and... Well, why would I build this much goodwill? In one world...

And good will with our listeners as well. Yeah, with your sweet, honest listeners, why would I do that? And these are good, hardworking people that work in factories and mines. They're working. They're scrubbing toilets and getting the shit out of, you know, shit stains out of bedding. These are salt of the earth people. They're people that we love in the backbone of our society. They have black lung.

Exactly. The canaries are dying. Yes. And they're going, they're still trudging down into those coal mines. These people are putting fenders on GM cars. Yeah, and everyone's like, we don't need guitars on our cars. No. Just because they rhyme.

But, but I. You built up a lot of goodwill. Yes. You are no longer on any kind of shit list with me or my listeners as far as I'm concerned. And now I just want to know how you're doing. I'm doing great. I'm very excited about the possibilities, as you saw, that I'm sending in some tapes. I'm very excited.

You got some responses on certain apps that I saw. Got some heat. Got some heat. I'm very excited. I'm doing well. Say no more. Everything's going just fine. Yeah, boy is working.

Well, good. And you know what? I think the best thing to come out of all of this is... A baby. Yes, sure. Is that happening? And you'll be the first to know. That I really want to be the first to know about.

All right, tell you what, we're going to take a break. Can you stick around here? Absolutely. All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we have a broadcaster, we have a small business owner. This is an incredible episode of Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this.

Comedy Bang Bang, we are back. Asafali is here, formerly and currently of Deli Boys. Yes. Just because the, I mean, the show was gone so quickly after it premiered in that second season. It was like, like, well, why didn't they just wait a year to tell everyone? I don't know. Let the dust settle. I think because they wanted me to clear it up with you.

Yeah, they wanted me to get right with you. Well, also, yeah, they need to live. let everyone know that you guys are free and clear to be available. Yeah, available. Great, great cast on that show. Great cast. You had Fred Armisen on. Yeah, he was on the second season. Yeah. And, and um, Kumail was on it. Cummail. And then we have, uh, uh, appearing in lanterns now. We have Porn and Jugga Nuffin, yes. I mean, she's great. She's incredible. Um, and such a good cast and such a good show. And if you're looking for something to catch up on, there's 16 episodes. They're all like a half hour, I think. They're so fun. Yeah. And it's a very fun show. We're very proud of it. Yeah.

So check it out and you never know what might come back. You know what I mean? You never know? Were there outstanding questions like wrecked that were at the end of season two that need to be addressed? There's a big outstanding question at the end. That's right. Maybe a special. Oh, maybe a movie?

Maybe a movie. Yes. And a lot of movie executives, there's a lot of people in coal mines and Hollywood movie execs. Listening to this right now, yeah. So if there's any here, let me know. That's right. All right. Well, we need to get to our next guest. He's a broadcaster. I mentioned that. He's been on the show a few times. Are you a sports fan? I'm a huge basketball fan. You're a basketball fan. I love basketball. What's your Phoenix Sun's? Your favorite ball that they use.

Phoenix Sun. Oh, the orange one, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I could never grip it. That's why I never made it in basketball. I can't. My hands are, I can't grip the ball. Really? Is that like, is that a requisite? That's a pretty surefire sign if you're like, if you can grip the ball, you can. Because then you can travel. or you can't travel, but you can do more with it. You know what I mean, where they're sort of like cupping the ball? Yes. They're Sylvester Stallone style cupping the balls. As we know, everyone's favorite basketball player, Sylvester Stallone.

But you know what I mean when they're like dribbling and they're sort of like, you know, like holding the ball in their cup-tanned for a really long time before they dribble it again. It feels like that's how an aristocrat would describe basketball. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. Well, our next guest was a basketball player. Yes. Maybe not when you were watching, certainly, but he was also a broadcaster for the NBA. Oh.

Please welcome back to the show, Bill Walton. Oh, my God. Namaste, Scott Ackerman. Blessed greetings to you and Aosif, one of the great as-ifs from the clueless catchphrase to Ian Roberts' theory on exploring game. Beautiful to meet you, my good man. So nice to meet you. I'm such an honor to meet you.

You are a legend. You're one of the top 50 basketball players of all. time. Is that true? I had no idea. Definitely in the top 75. Yeah. The honor's all mine. I would have been top 25 if it weren't for back injuries. Yeah. The injuries really sidelined him, yeah. Still got a championship, though. That's right. Portland Trailblazers.

You only got one championship and you're still in the top 50? I win with the Boston Celtics, awesome. No, I believe you won with... Yeah, you did, yeah. I don't think you should be in the top 50 if you only won once. It sounds like I won two. Okay. These days, who can keep track of these things?

You know? You won one with the Trailblazers. I believe. Trailblazers are insults. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the Trailblazers was the main one because you were the guy. And we're upon the 50th anniversary of my championship.

Yeah. Is that true? Congratulations. The team has been taken over by one of the great evil billionaires in this world. Who's that? Just like the Lakers were taken over.

I don't even know his name, but he's a real prick. Oh. Yeah. And that's the real Bill Walton saying this. It's a real Bill Walton. I'm a peaceful man, but I do not like,

this man is, He bought the team and immediately went, we don't need all these guys on the bench and got rid of a bunch of assistant coaches. Oh, I thought I meant the players. They only have, what, is it five people? They're down to five now. No breaks.

He got rid of the announcers. He said, we don't need these storied announcers we've had here. No. That's cutting to the quick for you because you're an announcer as well. It hurt me in my heart. Yeah. Speaking of being a peaceful man, you seem very zen right now. You're not coming in with a normal end.

energy you come in with. I'm trying my best because, Scott, I am here today to talk to you about the art of meditation and my new meditation application. Okay, it's an art. I didn't realize that. I thought it was just a thing that people do. Aknowing. Life is an art, Scott.

You're annoyed by meditation? Well, I'm not annoyed by the, the act of doing it. I'm annoyed by people talking about it. Well, this is going to be a tough 20 minutes. that's got 20 minutes we're doing a full shoot your shot now I was thinking 10 but yeah you

no tell us about I don't mean to be so judgmental I don't mean to yuck your young there was a time when that would have hurt my feelings before I started my own meditation oh really now now it just slides like water off a duck's back that's a perfect

beautiful image throw it down one time Scott off of me you have changed so much And on our tour, I was happy to be on the Comedy Bang Bang Tour. My tour, but we were a tour together. You guessed it on it.

Side by side. He really took ownership of the tour there. Wow. You're not doing 20 minutes and it wasn't your tour. Let me just. City to city arm and arm, Walt and off. Eating meals and making them squeal, we would say. Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck. Even know what that's implied. Wow. You really do have an open thing going on, Scott. Absolutely. Making the meal squeal? We're eating pigs. We're eating suckling pigs.

Okay, got it. But I felt desperate to use the opportunity and the audience to sell a TV show. You know. Yes. If you haven't heard Bill's most recent appearance on the Comedy Bang Bang, Bang, Ground, Beefing tour, you pitched a television show. I pitched a couple things, and the first show I pitched was called... balls or balls and it was a TV show where you decide

if a player is a... I give you two names and you have to see if they're a porn star or a basketball player. That's right, yes. But I just, when it didn't go well, it broke my dirty little heart. Oh, no. And I was kicking myself over and over again.

And so I found this meditation. Okay, well, I'm glad to hear that because, you know, we don't do a lot of sort of therapy work with our guests after they have an unsuccessful appearance on the show, which yours undoubtedly. was. Oh, God.

Your ideas were bad. You seemed stupid for having pitched them. I had issues. Look, I had issues with the editing app that I edited in. I still can't figure out how to get a high-res image to not be blurry when I move it into the Canva app. I doubt that they're a high-res. Are you on Canva Pro? I can't afford that kind of stuff.

I would like to be with all my editing situations, my self-taics, my VO. Right now, I'm doing it all on MS Paint. Fuck, dude, this is bad. You need to update. Yeah. Well, I'd like to, and I hopefully will once I sell these meditation episodes. You need Osif's brother to manage you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is he open? He's so open. Does he manage anyone else? He manages a lot. No, he manages like 10 people, and they're all very successful people. That's good, all right. Hugh Jackman. Yeah.

Whoa, first guest. Yeah, yeah, Wolverine, yeah. He reps him exclusively as Wolverine. Just as Wolverine. Yeah, yeah. You can do that. Yeah, now. You can do that. That new ex-ben cast must have really hurt your brother's wallet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, but it's, you know, it's been a good run, but he's trying to get Jackman back in there.

Me too. Jackman, Backman, Jackman, Backman. Yeah, yeah. Let's make a movie called Jackman Backman instead. And it's all how he's saying. Sorry, excuse me. Okay, calm yourself. What idea is that good? I get a little crazy because I just, I see dollar signs in my eyes. I know. I know, and you're a greedy little pig. I know. I'm making squeal, baby. The dollar signs in your eyes have, they're literally there, and they've just cross-faded into now pigs. Okay, there we go. We're back to pupils. Thank you. So tell us, tell us about this meditation.

Yeah. It's a meditation app, and I've recorded a few meditations that I thought we could, I could walk you through. This is an application? Yes, you could download it in, I'm not in the Apple Podcast app store or the Google Play store yet. It's not a podcast, so that would be. weird if you were. Okay, good. Yeah. I'm trying to get an Apple podcast. Maybe that's the issue that. One 20 minute recording. It's a, because the RSS feed is screwing with me. So that's good. I guess I'll move up. Yeah, you just need to go into the app store. Okay. Okay. Great.

But right now you could just send me $15 on any cash app. That's the only one I've got. If you've got another one, hit me up and I'll get it. Okay, okay. And I will send you these MP3s and we can meditate together and I want to show people how easy it is. Okay. To find a little bit of peace in a stress. I'd love, I mean, $15 is a lot for this kind of thing. I'd love to hear a sample if you. Yeah, because I really, I really am in the market because as you know, I've lost, I'm recently unemployed. Yeah, he's filled with rage. Right. Yeah. And I mean, lost his job. Yeah. I know when I woke up on, what was it? It must have been July 30th and I had that DM from you. Uh-huh. Hold on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, but we don't want to talk about that

right now. My phone's locked right. right now. I had a perfect thing going on where I couldn't show it to him because I'm locked out. So if we could just focus on the meditation, remember? Yeah, the meditation. Oh, my bad. Yeah, I was just so excited because I posted about Deli Boys in my stories and he responded. It was like, I want you to be the first to know. No, no, no, no. I didn't.

If only I were listening more closely to anything you're saying, unfortunately, I'm not. But go ahead. Hit us with these meditations. Okay. All right. So this is one, and I put these all together myself, obviously. This would be eventually edited by a professional once I have enough money for it. So I do my best.

All right. So you're reaching down to your phone and you're about to play one of these meditation. And this is pre-recorded by you. Well, I will be doing the meditation. I have to do it live. So this is just the backing track. The Bill O'Reilly special. Okay. Fuck it. Do it live. Yes. Yeah. Great. Good for you. Doopidoo. Good for you. Okay. Here we go. Oh, this is nice. I feel peaceful already. deep breath and close your eyes. It's only you here.

Okay. Let the world go. We the best music. Sorry about that. Fuck. Shit, man. It's only you right here. Sorry. I just, that's, I had to get free audio to back this because I couldn't afford an actual track. But forget about that. Eventually, that won't be in there.

That really shook me up. That's DJ Collin. That was DJ Callet. That was DJ College. This is a DJ College. Bill Walton, voiceover real. Okay, what's this? Hang on, sorry.

What is this? It's my voiceover real. I don't know why that's playing. Hang on a second. Banana. Sorry. Oh, grew banana. Are you auditioning for the minions?

Oh, oh, Mr. Potter. You're auditioning for the new Harry Potter show. Come on. You'll snap a little hog. Come on, man. Sorry, sorry. Okay, sorry.

You want, do you do, first of all, stay away from that. Okay, well, sorry, let me turn this off. Sorry, sorry, that wasn't supposed to play. Sorry, I edit everything I do all in the same app, but I think that crossed over there. Are you going to be on DJ College's new album? No, well, no, I think I took DJ College track here, back in track. Did he release a meditation style? He probably would have.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the DJs do these stuff because you put it on YouTube and you make it ten hours and you make a fortune if it gets enough years. Sorry about that. What's slightly more concerning to me is you're auditioning for the new terrible Harry Potter show. Or to be Hagrid, I'm assuming? No, that was Snape. You couldn't tell that was Snape. I'm so sorry.

That was definitely Snape. What was he saying? I couldn't quite hear the dialogue. Oh, it was kind of classic Snape stuff, a long as to Plata. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't Hagrid say that too? No, but he has like a, Hagrid has much more of like a Irish.

So it wasn't by the dialogue that you could figure this out. This was just his intonations of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. You're physically more of a Hagrid. Yeah. Okay, but.

But I also think you're a Huffo pup. Oh shit. Is that a roast? I think he's just fucking turning you fucking, he's spit roasting you right now. I'm not a Hufflepuff. I'm anything I'm a sorting hat. Who is he belonged to? He belongs to the fucking building, dude.

That is a good question. Yeah, he belongs to the institution. Did he have a house originally? By the end of those fucking stupid books, didn't they say that the sorting hat was like used to be a wizard who was turned into a hat? You're going after Harry Potter when that's, 96% of your audience is nuts to me. You think that there's a lot of overlap. You think that that's it.

Everyone listened to this. People are all pulling over right now on their way to the coal mines being like, I can't believe he did this. This is a podcast for discerning adults. Scott, I think this is a perfect, in us, if this might be up your alley, this is a perfect time for actors with no morals. Yeah. Because you can do whatever you want and still make the money.

And people can be mad at you on law. But that doesn't affect your bottom line. It's just the job. You know, it's just a job. Congrats on the line line thing. Thank you very much. And as a person who has done voiceover work, I could sense that. You have.

You would get a call back on that for sure. Who are you reps with that kind of thing? Still your brother? Yeah. Give it. Can you call your brother or text him right now and say, hey, are you interested in representing Bill Walton? And then you may have to send a follow-up text.

Oh, fuck. You may have to send a follow-up text as head. he's not dead anymore. You let him know I came back to Earth because I didn't fulfill my bucket list, which was to sell a TV show called Entourage about a boy who went to sell L.A. with all his aunts. It's too much to go into.

Just say he's not dead anymore. The boys are basketball player and an actor and he moves to L.A. with all his odds. And I have to sell that show before I can get into heaven. No one cares about that. Well, it's what I built my whole assets on. Bill, Bill, Bill, I feel like you're getting... You're right, you're not going to want to represent you to do that for you

because then you're going to go to heaven or whatever. You're right. Then the money train is pulled into the station. What a devil's bargain. If I actually sell the show, I go to heaven. Yeah, I mean, bad for your agents. For sure. How is my brother supposed to collect 10% if you're in heaven?

Yeah. Well, I'd have to know for a fact because I found out by watching Shaquillo Neal's old Instagrams that he co-owns Marilyn Monroe's likeness, and he makes a bunch of AI videos of him and Marilyn Monroe getting married and having a happy life together. What about that cannot be real. You have to look that up. That's fucking crazy.

Everybody pause the show. Turn it off forever if you want to because you will be stuck on Chiquel. I gotta say once I put in Shaq and an M, it suddenly popped up Marilyn Monroe. No. He owns a major stake in the intellectual property and likeness rights of Marilyn Monroe. He later went viral for sharing bizarre AI generated videos and joking about wanting to marry her. So your brother could sell my likeness to Shaq and we could get married in videos. What the fuck?

You and Shaq get married in videos Or you in Marilyn Monroe? A three-sum marriage Okay So you want me to message my brother And be like, hey, are you interested in AI sex videos Of Bill Walton And Marilyn Monroe

And Marilyn Monroe Yeah just not Don't even bring up the representing I'm just like hook him first Are you interested in these He immediately exits a meeting He's like Pardon me

Something life-changing just came up If you don't want to type it all out, you can just screen grab my dating profile because that lines in there. Okay. Okay, okay. I'm kind of freaking out because you don't seem to be reacting positively to some of my stuff here. I just feel like you're getting past the meditation energy that you came in. I was in it for the first couple of seconds, but do you have another one? So let me get you all a little relaxed.

I can pitch my idea a little bit. I'm a little agitated right now. Okay, okay. That would be great. All right. Eyes closed. Okay. and take a deep breath in all the way.

Sorry about that. Sorry. This is a DJ mustard one. Excuse me. All right, take a deep breath all the way down to right above where your penis is. And hold my penis.

Practice voicemail for Scott Ackerman. What the fuck? What? Sorry. Hey, Scott. Sorry, I missed you. Geez, I, I wasn't prepared to look at a voicemail. Let this play.

Call it to see if you want to do. hang out sometime soon, maybe catch a movie, maybe a banana my crew. What the fuck? You're mixing emails to me up with your... Oh, it just occurred to me. I have been working on this meditation idea, and I think it would be really nice to come on to your show, Comedy Bang Bang, to just promote it a little bit, if possible. It just occurred to me.

Okay, this is the email I actually received. Whatever that's available, that would be great. My Colo Guard delivery. Wait, hang on, don't leave! Colo Guard. Yeah, Colo Guard. You can send in your poop and they tell you if you have colon cancer. Well, I mean, they're not with 100% accuracy.

It's true. It's not with 100% accuracy. They gave me quite a scare. Oh, no. Really? Oh, Scotty! I'm sorry to hear that. Wow.

I'm sorry to hear. What was it just weird poop? Ultimately. That's what they ended up saying. They just said odd to poop. Sorry, I record voicemails before, like for myself before I send them just so they can sound natural in case. Yeah, I noticed you sort of laughed at it like, hey Scotty. You believed it, right?

I mean, it didn't come through in the actual leaves. I'm sorry, I'm fucking fuck! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill. Fucking thing sucks. Meditator, meditate thyself. Yeah, Bill, you gotta, you can relax. I can't do this shit. What do you mean?

What's going on, Bill? Look, I tried to, I spent, guess how much long I spent. Spend it on this. Spend it on this thing. But it's only 120 seconds. Yeah, maybe five minutes times. Oh. Longer? Why longer?

You're not even close in days. Days. Yes, I canceled a lot of commitments to edit this shit together. You got to clip it. You got to find the songs. You got to edit the songs in. You got to go to YouTube to mp3.com to take something on YouTube and rip it so you don't have to pay the person for it.

Bill, you shouldn't have been doing that. I'm so sorry. No, no, no, but it's a good app, right? Like, the idea of it is good. People like to relax. Scott, I really, I really feel like, I really feel like if we say we don't like the app, he's just going to get more and more.

He's just going to be spiraling, I feel like. I don't want to be responsible for it. It seems like he's on edge, dude. I know. Like, he put all of his, all of his thing, like all of his life into, yeah. One basket. Then again, I don't want to.

want to treat him with kid gloves, you know what I mean? He's got to grow up and learn responsibility sometime. Yeah, but I feel like he is coming into this kind of as like a shark tank thing. I think he's trying to back door this as like trying to get investors. Oh no, he's not trying to raise money. He's trying to raise money. He knows I've been on TV and he knows that you're like a powerful Hollywood. You have five seasons of television under your belt. Yeah, as a series regular. Yeah. He knows I've been number one on a call sheet. What were you number one in? Deli Boys. Did you switch off? No, I've always been.

You were always number one? Yeah. All right, that's weird. Sorry about that. Let's go back to Bill. Okay. I realized my headphones fell off when I freaked out and I put them around the wrong part of my body. So I'm doing it back now.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Bill, no need to clear your throat so much. We don't really want to hear much more. And definitely don't put that into your meditation app. The clearing of the throat. Okay, well, sometimes you have to clear your throat because it's going to be live. Well, I got one more for you.

I mean, now we still got like, probably 18 minutes left up to this. Oh, absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But we do have time for one more. Okay, I think this will convince everyone. I double-checked this one. So let me try my best here. When you say that, what is it?

Double-checked. I checked the box twice that it was saved. Oh, no, I haven't listened to these yet. Okay. I want to be fresh. Oh, my God, these are first takes? Holy shit. I want to be fresh.

Okay. Uh-ohm. Yum! Yum! Oh, dear. Okay. This message is for Bill Walton. What?

This is Donna from Superfeet Insoles. What? We're just a mom and pop business, but we got a request from you for a video from a model named Superfeet to sexually tell you that you are smart and have good ideas. I think you may have thought we were an only fan site. What the hell? That is not the case, sir. This is a small business. Sorry.

There is no model. She can't make the video. and you can't get off. Sorry. I will say this one, kind of calming me down. Another rabbi-manacham joint. Oy-Ve-Vey.

What? There's a rabbi making these. There's a rabbi producer out there? Yeah, Rabbi Monacham, you don't know? I guess I haven't heard his work. And oy-be is the tag? Okay. God damn it.

Oh, that's humiliating. I was wondering where that voicemail sent. I have Superfeet insoles. I just, I didn't, and you message them saying that you wanted to? I thought it was a, because I found out there was a woman on OnlyFans named Superfeet, and she does. You found this out. You found this out. Through some sort of investigative process.

Well, I remember what, well, I remember reading the book. You ever read that book, Superhead? No. No. What's that book about it about? It's a book about a woman who hooked up with like all the rappers and basketball players. Oh. called her super head.

Speaking of Shaq again, Shaq wouldn't have sex, would sweat so much. He would ruin her mattress and buy her a new one every time. That's actually really funny. Now I actually do want to read it. Now I get why he bought AI

Marilyn Monroe to distract from the Google results. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, I was like, well, if there's a super head, I don't love head, just to be honest, to put it all out there. You don't love head?

Oh, I don't. I don't. How would you rank it on like regular, like kissing? Or even just in life experiences. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like winning a championship head.

Okay. Way lower than winning a championship. Going to Mount Rushmore? Yeah. Okay, so Mount Rushmore won. Yeah. Championship two. Wow.

Are you kidding me? I think both the Dakotas, if you're playing it right. Damn. All four presidents. All four that are on there. Yeah. Did you think those are the only four that we've ever had? Yeah.

No, we've had way more. Who do you think is president right now? Roosevelt? Roosevelt. Roosevelt. No, Bill. Well, let me look up who it is then. No, no, no, no, no.

Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. Don't do that. I'm fucking, I'm fucking, Scott, I'm sorry to get all fucking pissed off here. No, no, it's okay, Bill. Scott, can I just go upstairs and hang out with your daughter for a little bit? No, absolutely. I need the joy of a kid around, you know? No, no, no.

Okay, well, can I, I, got, I'm putting a restraining on an order on you right now, just for having asked that. Oh, fuck. Yeah, and I second that. This fucking sucks. No, no, Bill. You got to relax, buddy. You got to relax. You got to relax.

I'm trying. Is there anything that, what do you do to relax yourself? I meditate. With that? Go ahead and put one of them on and try to just see if it calms you down. They're all pissing me off, Scott. They're all reminders of my inability to accomplish a simple task. Yeah.

I can't do anything. Why don't you put the first one on, the DJ Khalid one at least? Yeah. Talk to yourself down, okay? I'll try my best. Okay, just and then cut it off before it gets into your self-tape. Bill Walton, take a deep breath. Close your eyes.

There's nobody here but you. So relax and be with your... God, God. Okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, just how you turn it off, Bill. There's no way to... Another way to say this, but you're stupid and your ideas suck. No!

I'm sorry. I can't sugarcoat this for you. You're one of my best friends. Really? Oh, shit. Despite the restraining order, you're one of my best friends. Yuppie. Yahoo.

I'm the happiest boy in the world. All right. Well, I'll tell you what, Bill, can you stick around? I would love to. I would love to. I mean, we're still got five minutes left in my segment. Oh, no, no, no. We're coming up on a break right now.

We have a small business owner coming up after the break. We're going to be right back with more Bill. Walton, more Osavali. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang, bang, bang. We're back. Ossavali of Deli Boys.

And hopefully, movie stardom. Dude, it's, like, I don't even want to get into it, but, like, I can sense that, like, it's going to be bigger. Like, I'm going to get another show. I think you can pull a Clooney

and just, like, I think you're ripe for that. I'm telling you, once I'm in a romantic thing, once they see me lay in pipe, it's over, dude. Do you think that's in the future? It's going to be the name of the movie. sex tape? Is that what I'm hearing? Yeah, I'm going to be the new Ray J, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's still with us, right? He's just... That's bad. I don't want anyone to... Didn't he announce he was dying? No, yeah, but that was apparently just like, a prank? A click pay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, could I ask you, yeah, if you went the way of Clooney, what would your alcohol be? He's got the tequila. He's got the tequila. They all go to Mexico and then go, like, but we work with one Mexican guy. I mean, but the ownership is all white guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ryan Reynolds, like, went in, didn't he go into gin or something? He went into, because he was the last to do it. It's like, oh, I got to settle for gin.

Yeah, yeah. Every big celebrity gets it. A mine would probably be, maybe I would do like a, maybe I would do like a, maybe I'd do a non-alcoholic. Because everyone's doing alcohol. Why don't you just do for mooth? Oh, just something devastating. Yeah, you know, it's got an alcoholic content to it, but it's not going. Well, maybe. Well, because non-alcohol, you could, you risk the route of going like Tom Holland and making bureau, which sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bureau fucking sucks Tom Holland. Okay. Is Tom Holland? Okay. Is Tom Holland's fucking non-alcoholic beer?

I feel more myself than I ever have. It's not-alcoholic beer, and I'm sorry if you ever want to get him on the show. Oh, he's been asking. Yeah, Scott, let me see his emails, and I got to be honest with you. It's mostly the Tom-Haw-Lah. Just don't do a search for Zendaya. Zendaya? No, Zendaya, right?

I think it's Zendaya. She just came out and said Zendaya. What about, what about, like, coconut water? What if I did coconut water? Yeah. Okay, well, I mean, you'd be bumping Jennifer Aniston, but... Yeah, you think I'm worried about Jennifer Aniston? You need the men do want to drink coconut water.

Exactly, a dude's, a dude's drink. Oh, coconut water, so like... And I can say... Coco nuts. Broconut water. Broco nuts. Yeah, that's better than cocoa nuts, yeah, I guess. Yeah.

How about broconeuts? Brocough nuts. No, no, I want broccon nut. I'm just bad that I didn't think of it. Yeah. It's really good. All right. Okay, broco nuts.

Broco testicles. Broco testicles. Grab them. I feel like we're getting too far away. You want natural energy? Grab them. Grab them. Love that.

Scratch them. Yeah. You're off work? Scratch a nut. Scratch a nut. Scratch a nut. Broco testicles. Yes.

All right. You know what? Before we get too... Into our business plan? Testicle-centric on this podcast as men are wanted to do. Yes. Why don't we introduce our next guest? Because she's a small business owner.

Thank God. Let's please. welcome to the show for the first time. This is great to talk to her. Please welcome Caroline Fingers. Hi. Hi. Great to meet you. Oh my gosh. Great to meet you. Yeah. Am I pronouncing your last name right? Caroline Fingers. Yes, you got it. Okay.

Got it. Wonderful. You just crossed something out. Oh, no. I, I, I couldn't quite tell if that was an R or if it was an L. And you had it. I had it. Okay. Got it. You had it. And let's not doubt ourselves. Caroline Fingers. Welcome to the show. You're a small business owner. I am. I am. And you know what? I was waiting by my computer all, all month for an invite to Small Business Month and I... Oh, no, I mean, it's just in our bonus bangs.

These are previous episodes we release on Thursdays. Interesting. We're focusing on small business owners and entrepreneurs right now. I would count myself as one. Well, that's great. And we'll see if you wind up. I mean, there's no reason for you because you're on the show right now to be on a bonus one. But what is your actual small business?

Oh, well, I am a finger liaison. Finger liaison. Yeah. Okay, I've heard both of those words before. So essentially, you know, there's plenty of. of things that people don't want to touch or handle and I'll be your finger liaison. I'll come in and I'll touch anything you want. Oh, okay. What's the last thing you didn't want to touch, Ozzie? Uh, the news about not getting picked up. You know what I mean? I didn't want to touch

that with a 10-foot pole. Okay, this is a little more literal than that. It sounded like you didn't want to touch the RJ thing either. Ray J, I mean. Yeah, I kind of didn't want to get immediately locked in with that. That you're the new Ray Jays? The moment, yeah, the moment I heard it, I said, If I want to back away from this as quickly as possible. But such is life. Yeah, I would probably say the last thing I really didn't want to touch was a... There's got to be like bugs, right? Sure.

I was cleaning in my place and I was like, I like deep cleaning. And behind, you know, in the bathroom behind the toilet, I really didn't want to get back there. Honey, give me a call. Oh. Okay. I will touch back there. You'll do the cleaning? I'll scrape whatever you need out of there.

Wait, are you a housekeeper? Yeah. I think you're just a... No, I'm not a housekeeper. I'm a finger liaison, and it's so much broader than that, you guys. Okay. What are some examples? To look at me and assume that I'm a housekeeper, let's get serious.

Well, you are wearing a French maids outfit right now. Okay. Well, that's because I'm on my way to a party after this. Oh, okay. Say no more. Hollywood, yeah, here we go. We're going to a Hollywood party. Right, okay.

I need to get my cloak and mask for the one I'm going to tonight. He's in the bucket. It's more than just, it's more than just. dirt, you know? Yeah, what are some of the examples? Some people don't want to touch raw chicken. I could do that. So, like, because of fears of salmonella?

Or just texture stuff. Yeah. Is it salmon? It's gross. I'm just real, I'm saying it out loud and I'm like, shouldn't that be for salmon? No. Oh, gosh. Because for salmon, it's chickenella.

That would be, that would be the name of a good fish restaurant, though, salmonella. Yeah. Or chickenella. Chickenella. Chickenella. Chickenella. Yeah.

It's good name for a child. Yeah. So, so if people have. have trouble with textures. Is that what you're saying? Oh, just anything, anything gross. You know, sometimes people are like, I don't want to peel a shrimp. Sometimes people are like, I don't want to pick up dog poop.

Oh, that's a big one over in this house. Just go me. So what do you charge for, is a sliding scale based on how gross the thing is? Or is it based on the income of the person who wants you to hire you? Oh, that's a fantastic question. It's based on, well, one, the physical weight of what I'm picking up. Oh, so wait. So poo is relatively heavy, but it's not as heavy as gold.

Like if someone was like, hey, do you mind picking up this gold for me? Well, said. Yeah, that would be cheaper. Well, because I'll bring my little scale out and then we'll see. Who would be cheaper even though. Oh, yeah. The heavier it is, the less expensive. Oh, the less expensive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. So a spider, if you're like, oh, the spiders in my bathroom. Very expensive. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah. Because I would think that it would be like, oh, I have to move all this gravel.

Right. in a wheelbarrow that's like 100 pounds. Do people try to game the system that way of like, hey, move this gravel? Like touch this gravel and put it over. Do you move the things? People are constantly trying to fuck with me. They think that I don't understand good business. They think they can look at me and just be like, oh, I know.

I'll have her pick up a bunch of stuff at a time. And I see through that. So people who will call you and be like, hey, I don't want to, I'm moving and I don't want to touch this sofa. Yeah. And you'll spot it. Yeah. So I'm trying to work on my boundaries with that kind of stuff.

And a sofa would be cheap. Sofa would be extremely cheap. You know what? As I'm saying it, I'm going, I might need to work on some of my pricing costs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a new business owner. I don't, I'm learning on the go. Here's a concern of mine.

I'm a bit of a germaphobe. Okay. So I invite you over and I want you to touch. Let's say I've gotten delivery door dash. Let's say I've gotten Zanku chicken, family meal, a side of rice. What's a garlic sauce? No, garlic sauce. sell it gives me heartburn, so I do the lemon to heat.

You were out of your mind. It's all about the garlic sauce. It gives me heartburn. I like the taste. I didn't say I don't like the taste. The garlic sauce is free. Do you mind just getting some and then giving it to me? Yeah. If we could have the same deal that you have with Hossif but about my garlic sauce, I will text you every time I get some.

Yes, I love it. I'll bring it your way to do a podcast. So I don't want to touch that, right? So I call you to come over. Oh, no, I would love to. The polite thing that I would do is hug you or shake your hand. Okay. But I don't want to touch your hands. Where would you do that on my behalf and would I have to pay you?

Touch your own hand? Yeah. Oh, yeah. People are calling me to do handshakes all the time. So you put your own handshake? I'm a, yes, I would shake my own hand. Okay. And then I would charge you $40. I have to pay for that.

Yes. I'm a woman in business. Yeah, dude. My labor isn't free just because you want it. Oh, and he wants it. Yeah. I always say my issue here is not paying a woman in business. I don't know if that's how that came across.

It did. You don't like to pay women. Interesting. Maybe that's why he doesn't like head. I'll pay women. I'll pay women. I'll pay women for stuff. What's the right thing to say here, lady?

Lady. Lady. Lady has a name and it's Caroline Fingers. We even double-checked the name. And it's written down right next to you. Upside down. To me, your name looks like it's Gagnith. I can't even keep going.

That's just sad. That's just sad. It is what Caroline looks like upside down. I can't even keep. going. What if someone like is in the workplace and their boss constantly wants to hug them? Will you step in? Absolutely.

Yeah. I mean, I do better with hand stuff, I will say. So I, maybe I might even do a hug that I kind of pivot into just sort of like a, we clasp shoulders sort of. Classed shoulders. Yeah. Because I really, I really do want to, people have gotten, given me the advice of like if you want to make your business kind of as

narrow as possible and that almost makes it more accessible. What about, what about people who like, again, in the workplace, their boss comes over and gives them creepy back rubs. That's touching something of their hands are touching them, but it's a back being touched. No, so unfortunately, I don't do that. I'm strictly hand drops.

I'm doing, it's just related to me touching things. I'm a finger liaison. Got it. So I could go give a creepy little massage to somebody, but I wouldn't be receiving. Yeah, I'm just going to bring up a hypothetical. Say there was a certain part of my body that I wanted touched by your fingers. Okay.

And it was It's belly button We all know it's belly button And it was pretty light Oh Light Okay It's pretty light

It's pretty not heavy It's expensive Scott That is expensive Yeah Okay What are you charging for that Well I'll tell you what

Actually I'd probably charge I mean depending on how light We're talking It's light It's pretty light Yeah Okay pretty light I'm gonna say

400 dollars It's not bad I'm not because I'm don't want to pay a woman again, but I wouldn't be comfortable with that because that's more, your hands must be filthy, right? Oh yeah. How filthy are your hands? Yeah, are you washing your hands between jobs? That is so inappropriate. Oh. Oh. Would you guys, would you guys go anywhere else? And I bet you guys have all been to the dentist. I've put their fingers in your mouth and you don't ask them when the last time they wash them. Is it because I'm a woman in business? You want to ask that?

They're wearing gloves. You have gloves? Yeah. No. Oh. Can I see your. hands? Yes, of course. Oh, my God. God. Okay. Okay, I'm not washing my hands, okay? Because I want to have a sign of a job well done. It's like men coming home from the minds, all your listeners, and they're covered in soot.

That's me. And that goes and shows my family, my children, that I work hard. Yeah, Mama works for her money. Mama works for her money. I guess if I hired a painter to, you know, paint a portrait of me and they didn't come over splattered in paint, I would be a little. Exactly. You'd want to see at least a little bit of paint on the face. You go, that's a serious artist.

If you just got one come through right now, could I ask what it's for? I see your phone buzz in there. Oh, yeah. Of course. So I just got a request to come over and crunch a bug. To crunch a bug with your hands? To crunch a bug with my hands. As in like, kill it? Yes.

So what they did was they cut a bug under a cup and now they need me to come over and give it a crunch. Is that a regular customer? Yeah, this guy, he needs to move. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's an issue with this. He needs to move. But it's good business, so what can I say? And you have no qualms about killing a little bug or anything like that.

I will touch anything. What's the biggest thing you'll kill with your fingers? Probably like a, I mean. Like a cat? Would you kill a cat? Oh, for sure. What the fuck? That's a good question.

You're starting with cat? You think I couldn't kill like a lion or something? I'm a woman in business, so I'm only killing cats. No, no, no. I mean, a moose. Would you kill a moose? Yes. Okay.

Have you ever killed, like, a protected species? So not that I can speak on Mike about. Oh. Oh, okay. You're giving me a look like. But I'll just say I did used to go on safaris with a certain client of mine, who is a purveyor of sandwiches. Jersey, Mike?

No, the other one. No, the other one. Jared? No. They're all J-names, though, and this one is a J. Jimmy John. Yes, but I can't confirm. Firm or deny, but I used to go on safaris with him and do certain things.

Oh, okay. They are all J names. They are all J names. Chooey J. Names. Jason Manzukas. Do the same? Wonderful sandwiches.

Fuck. My third favorite J. Yeah. Wow. Could we do this maybe right now? Just I want to see how this works. Of course. Okay.

Of course. I would like to drink from Asif's Cup right now. He's got a delicious soda there and it's fresh and bubbly. But I don't want to get the germs on it. So could you use your hands to wipe off the lip of the cup? Oh my God, I would love to. Okay. Awesome.

May I have a drink out of your cup? Yeah. Okay, sure. Awesome. All right. Sounds like we have a deal. How much are you going to charge? Okay, well, let me see.

That cup is about half full of water. Let's see. That's a soda cup, I believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, is that just water? I thought that was soda. No, no, no, it's soda. Can you hear that on Mike?

Is it vodka? Yeah. It's my new brand. So if it's outfibbid is alcohol, I'll charge a little bit more. So I'm going to charge $400 for this. Okay. Oh, actually, maybe a little less, because I imagine it's a little heavier than what Scott is working with. And then we are going to, okay, so here I go.

And that's my fingers going around the rim, and there you go. Okay, the rim is like really smudge now. It's a little... It's kind of brown now. Yeah, really gross. Okay, so you're asking me to do labor for free, by the way. I didn't see an exchange of money, and now you're going to have criticisms about it. No, no, no, no.

If this was a man here, I guarantee you guys would have drinking that up. Guys, we got to figure this out. I can't have people talking about how I don't have a show and I'm mean to women and small. Okay, Ray J. No, no, no, no, no, we cannot make that a thing. He's the Ray J. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no way, I never laid pipe ever.

Well, I, it's, yeah, it's an interesting thing. I feel like you're charging too much for small tasks, but I think the moving the gravel or the sofa, yeah, 400 bucks. I would pay someone for it. Yeah. All right. I can work on the money side of things. I can admit where I'm wrong, I don't necessarily know how to price stuff. If I asked you to move a sofa, do you have a pickup truck, first of all?

No. Oh, God. But I've got two hands and a hand-do attitude. Okay. Would you accept pizza and beer? No. Mama likes cash. Okay.

And you're a cash-only business. I'm cash-only. And so what that means is that you don't want to pay sales tax. Right. Okay. Yes, that is the other piece of business advice I got. And keep your verticals narrow and then avoid tax. And as far as like your family, you mentioned, do you have kids?

Uh-huh. Are you in a relationship? Are you married? No, I'm a, I'm single and looking. Wait. It looks like your phone is lighting up again. Oh, is this from Asif from his, that one account that I saw? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A little DMs.

No. I thought your DMs were deactivated before 6 p.m. Yeah, no, yeah. And that's going to be $10,000. Oh. Oh. Wow. Wow. Heavy.

or light? I can't remember the rules. That's incredibly light. The light is possible. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was just joking. That was just like a joke. Yeah, yeah, that was just a joke.

I was just joking. I was just doing a funny joke. Can I ask? Because I'm getting the impression that the whole business is you. Yes. What's your radius for that? Because it sounds like you'll just drop everything and do it.

Yeah, so right now it's been local. So that's why I'm happy to be here. It's been mostly kind of within the neighborhood, but then kind of a reasonable driving distance, but I did just get a passport, so I am looking to go international. Do you have a car? I don't have a car. So you don't have a car.

Scott's stroking to death, so I'll take over the host of goodies until I. Scott, and if you need me to reach down your throat and grab whatever stuck in there, I'm happy to do it. It's going to be $59,000. No, no, I'll do it myself. I wanted to save Scott's life, but I didn't want to get all gross in there. You would have been perfect for that. Would you do that? Would you give someone the Heimlet?

For money, yeah, of course. But how would you give the Heimlich only using your hands? Because Heimlich requires you to like be right upon. Yeah, but it goes in under... So I have actually incredibly powerful hands and fingers. Oh, this makes sense now. Oh my gosh, I'm great. Is this why you wanted to get into this business?

Yeah, I just, I've always kind of looked at my hands and been like, they are the most powerful part of me. Do you work out with your hands or what's your exercise? I do, I do those, um, I do those little finger exercises where you can do like pull-ups with just your fingers. Really? Yes. Oh, yeah. Like what rock climbers do? Yes.

Exactly. Your whole body weight just with your fingers? That's incredible. So I'm doing a lot of lifting with my fingers. I'm doing a lot of curls. I'm benching. I'm squatting with them. Oh, wow.

And you just never wash your hands. Never, no, no, no, no. Wow. Okay, yeah. Much more willing to admit that the second time you asked it. Okay, so your radius is walking distance from your home. Or bus, yes. And then, but I did just get a passport, so I'm willing to go international.

Okay. Damn. Can I ask, how was the COVID area? for you, like when it was really intense lockdown and all that stuff. Were you getting a lot of business? To be honest, I was getting the most business I've ever had. That's when I was inspired to go.

That's when you were inspired to do it, really? Okay. Yeah, I said, I'm going to quit my bullshit corporate job and I'm going to take this thing. Oh, I used to work for FedEx corporate. FedEx corporate, really. So it's shipping and mostly shipping, some receiving. It stands for Federal Express. Is that right?

That's right. I'd always heard that. You know what? Let me debunk that for you now. You're right. Whoa. I'm sure that that's what debunked means. I can't believe you were harboring that sense of doubt for this long, Scott. Debunked. Debunked. FedEx Corporate. That must have been an interesting job. Yeah, but it was hard because I was on the computer and my fingers are so strong that I was... Oh, you were breaking the keyboards?

I was blasting through the keyboards. Oh, my God. And I got written up twice. Only twice. That's it? How many laptops? How many computers? Actually, I would... It doesn't even sound like a... What? Because I'm a woman blasting through a keyboard. You want me to get written up for it every time?

I don't know. How many computers did you blast through? At least 18. Jeez. I get why they let her go. I mean, just the costs. I didn't actually say they let me go. I said, I left to pursue my full-time. You assume because she's a woman, you assume she's been fired?

At FedEx with huge hands that are jacked the goss. Fuck. This just in New Ray J thinks women should be fired for breaking keyboards. We can shorten that, but that's the gist. Very long TMZ headline. We got to shorten that. Yeah, yeah.

If you watch some like middle era episodes of the TMZ show, I'm in the background pitching really long headlines. Drinking an even bigger smoothie. Well, Caroline, I hope this business works out for you. I mean, it's certainly an interesting one. Are you getting a lot of jobs recently? You know, I really am. There's a surprising number of people who need finger business.

business and I how do you advertise is it like uh I had um I did have I do own the website handjobs.com but it got it got hacked oh it got hacked so now people are reaching out what about fingerblasting.com I also had fingerblasting and it also got hacked oh weird it got hacked huh what do you mean hacked it got hacking and people put I don't know who's doing it but there's filth on the website so I own the I don't think you own these websites no I do I own that I think you're just going on these websites. I also bought pornhoff.com slash finger. When you go on a website, do you think you own it?

Yes, yes. And so much of my shit is getting hacked. Have you ever been hired to slap someone? Yes. Do you need a slap? No, I don't need a slap. Yeah. Okay.

I remember, if you look, if you really watch the famous Oscar slap slowly, you see Will Smith sending a test for it. You couldn't get there soon enough. It wasn't in the area. No, that's the thing. I was there. And I wasn't going to bring it up because this is a high profile client. NDA, yeah.

Exactly. But if you really examine the tapes and go and go frame by frame, you see there is a moment where it kind of changes. And it becomes me wearing a tuxedo and I do the actual touch. You were able to swap in? Well, yeah, because Will doesn't like touch like that. Oh, right. He's a germapho.

That's right. That was what I was saying. There's no way he really did that. Yeah. No, he did it. That's what I was saying, too. That's why you need to call in a woman to do the job. You know what I'm saying? Amen.

Amen. I don't know that I'm going to give you that. I'm a religious. Do you work for Howie Mandela ever? I've done some jobs for Howie. I've held a briefcase or two. Yeah, of course. That's great.

He seems cool. He's fine. Chill guy. Really chill guy. Well, gosh, Caroline Fingers. And your last name is Fingers. That's so interesting. It actually, it didn't even occur to me until just now.

Neither. Me neither. But you live with it every day. I live with it. And, you know, I'm really hoping that the exposure from this podcast will get me some more business and I can take some of my kids on vacation. All right. Well, go to handjob.com or fingerblast.com. Just see whatever pops up there.

And if you see super feet, you've gone too far. Yep. All right. We are running out of time, though. We only have time for one final feature on the show. And that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Hey, won't you look inside my plug bag? It's an alcohol.

Gucci plug back Everybody's got a plug back Even Stanley Tucci has a plug back You know what I'm talking about Shame myself promotion Maybe because you gotta get your life's We're set into motion and I'm back Yes, I'm my plug back

Ooh, that was beautiful. That was knockoff Gucci plug bag by Markle Wish Pig Thanks to Markle Wish Pig If you have a plugs theme head over to CBBWorld.com slash plug and you can upload it there and you can find everything you need for the closing up the plug bag remixes and awesome what do you plug in okay here what do we got

we have uh I'm on tour go to my Instagram at Ali Comedy A-L-I comedy click the link I'm gonna be in Detroit I'm gonna be in New York City I'm gonna be in uh Dallas and a bunch more cities

because I'm gearing up to hopefully and this is news whoa hopefully I'm hopefully I'm the plan is to do a special. Whoa, the plan is to do a special. So when I actually do it for serious, I will, and it's set in stone, you'll know. Okay. I mean, I don't know if that's big enough news for you.

No, not really. Okay, okay, fair enough. Every comedian can do it. Every comedian does it. You're just going to put it up on YouTube or something? I don't know. I think I might take it to the streamers to see what they think, you know. All right, let me know.

I would like to know about that. If a streamer picks it up, I'll let you know. Just on record. Yeah. We'll put this out there that you're willing to change your mind. Yes. What's the order and descending order of which streamer you'd want the most to pick it up and which you'd want the least? I can't.

I actually, my mic just went out. Oh, no, your mic will. We'll try to fix it. Well, that's exciting. That is very exciting. So go check out. My Instagram, Ali comedy, A-L-I comedy. And go check you out on tour because, yeah, there's no better evening.

It's a fun time. You're going to have a great time. It's a fun time. All right. Bill, what do you want to plug? Well, I suppose I would rather drown in quicksand. then go to space. Oh, no, we're not doing

Would You Rather right now. Oh, my bad? Okay. Yeah. Sorry. No, I know we played every week, but we ran out. Well, for me, I think, um, let's see. Uh, because I'm not going to do the meditation app now.

That fucking sucked. Um, I guess just go to, um, CBB World for my podcast, Eat Pray Dunk where Mark Reni and I are trying to sell our TV show Entourage. And, um, you can listen to Hey Randy there and let's see what else. What else? Oh, if you, I, I, want to plug this. If you look at the photo of today's episode, which I hope we'll

take one, and I hope we'll put it out there. I just want to thank my friend Adel Rify for sending me a Lithuanian national team Grateful Dead Basketball shirt, which I'm very pleased to have. And go check out Adel's podcasts. Hey, Riddle, Riddle, and hello from the Magic Tavern.

I love that. All right. And Caroline Fingers, what do you want to pull? Oh, nothing. You can follow Steph Birch 1 on Instagram. One of my number one clients. And then I watched... What do you do for her? Oh, so she has me

to come over and give her kind of light, beautiful massage. Light beautiful massage. And that's an option. I heard she also has you do all the tags in her improv shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put your hand on someone's shoulder

when she's hiking a game or she does all the tags. Or I do the tags for her. What about wiping the scenes? Do you do that? So only finger stuff. Just, okay, just the tag. So I'm not running. Okay, yeah.

Just, just tags. which she's not strong at, so that's perfect. So that's it. Stepbridge won, and then watch Deli Boys on the airplane. All right, thank you. I'll third that. Deli Boys on the airplane. Also, we have a big announcement regarding the comedy bang bang action figures.

J.W. Stillwater, which has been out of stock forever. We have him back in stock at figure collections.com. it's in the CBB All-Stars line, which is basically the old figures being repackaged with new packaging. I'm sure it's much more than that. Well, I mean, we don't want to put it in the old packaging because those are collector's items. Does Bill Walton have one? Bill Walton does not have one.

Is that a likeness issue? I believe it may be. Do I have one or do you not give them out to women in business? Oh, I mean, this is your first appearance on the show. I don't know. Yeah, seems kind of back. I mean, we'll see what we can get going. Okay, well, I'm bail.

I'd love to see an action figure with huge Hulk cans, but not the Hulk. And dirty, dirty fingers. A French great outfit. Oh, yeah, I have to go to my party. She's late to her party, yeah. Much like the series one action figure that's been sold out forever, it includes a new blister card design

featuring a hand-drawn illustration of Paul F. Tompkins as J.W. Stillwater by its Solubolo, or in a bundle with Forval. We also have over there, Sprag the Whisper, Big Sue, Randy Snuts, Carissa, Italiano Jones, Andre Pineur. And coming in September,

we have Dalton Wilcox and Jeffrey Character Wheaties. Go to figurecollections.com for U.S. and Canada or at actionfigurecellar.com for our friends in Europe. And, hey, go over to CBBWorld.com slash tour

for our next tour dates. We're going to be over there in Denver on September 8th and Dallas, September 9th. San Antonio, September 10th, and we have Austin on September 11th. And just set the lineups for those the other day, or today, actually, just finalized. And I think people are going to be really enjoying those episodes. And people have been having a blast.

Yes, they've been really fun episodes. And you can hear all of them, by the way, if you're a maximus subscriber over at CBBWorld.com. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Close it up. Step on it. I want to close it tight. Close, close, close, close. All right, that was open wide by Nels for Smells.

Oh, our good friend Nels for Smells is back. Thanks so much to Nels for Smells. for smells and thinking of that song has made me realize that I want to thank our good friend Ossive here for being such a good friend of the show and for thinking of us and our listeners.

I love you guys. Love you as well. Thanks for coming back. And Bill, again, I want to reiterate, your ideas are bad, you're stupid. But that part three is all I need to hear. But you're my friend. Yeah! You're a good friend of mine.

And Caroline Fingers. So great meeting you. And I guess we'll get the action figures going for you with a giant dirty hands. I have to go kill a moose and then go to a party. So I'll check in after. All right. Well, I'll see you at the party. I'll be the one in the gold mask.

Yes. With the purple robe. Yeah, with the cane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fabulous. Exactly. All right. We'll see you next time.

Thanks. Bye.