Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Jena Friedman, Heather Anne Campbell, Jacob Wysocki

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

Comedian/writer/author Jena Friedman joins Scott to talk about her new book “Not Funny,” how her senior thesis led her to doing stand-up, and some of the interview questions she’s received as a female comedian. Then, macaroni holer Grance Prebs stops by to talk about the macaroni holing process. Plus, Marty Motorcycle drops by from his great American road trip to talk about searching for his origin.

Check the nimble Jack the thick Jack threw it back on my candlestick. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Gator Need Gat. By the way, that was thick with two Cs, just for those of you keeping track and taking notes. And as far as me, I realized I need to put it on Do Not Disturb, otherwise Siri is going to be, well, I think Siri will still be the fifth character

of every episode of Comedy Bang Bang from now on, accidentally triggered all the time. Welcome to the show. My name is Scott Ackerman. We have a great show coming up a little later. We have someone who works in the food industry. We also have someone who is finishing the great American road trip.

Oh, wow, I wonder if that includes Route 66 or Route 66, depending on how you pronounce it, although all of the songsters and songstresses pronounced it Route 66, I believe. But first up, we have, and this is exciting to me. This is her first time on the show. We've known each other for a long time. I was looking at emails dating back to 2010,

but probably before then I would say, how long have we known each other? I am, after 9-11, I would say. Yeah, well, you start, oh, we'll talk about that, but in the shadow of 9-11, we forged a friendship. But she's a comedian. She is a writer. She is a, she was a field producer on The Daily Show.

She was a writer on The Late Show with David Letterman. She was a writer of one of the writers of the Borat Subsequent Movie Film, aka Borat 2. And now she is an author because she has a new book out in stores right now called Not Funny. Please welcome my old friend, Jenna Friedman. Hello. Hi.

Hi. You said that was such authority. I like wanted the. Clap for yourself. Not for myself, but just the production value was so good that I was waiting to hear like, yeah, the production value of my intro is always tough. Jenna, it's great to see you.

So yeah, we've known each other for, I looked, but I changed my email so I couldn't quite tell. I was like, when did, cause I got to know you as a standup. You were on the show that I produced at UCB. Yeah. And I would bug you for spots and you were kind enough to do them. Oh, you were so nice.

I feel like I probably bugged you for spots cause I was. I'm a mutual bug, I think probably, but I, you know. Comedy Death Ray, right? Comedy Death Ray, yes. Best show in LA. For, it burned brightly, but burned out after 10 years. Wow. It was longer around, but you were kind of.

What is? What is? What is older than 10 years? And this is a challenge. Not me. Can you name anything? Not me. Jenna, by the way, is a baby.

I forgot to mention that. A baby who has a vocabulary of approximately 50 words that she said already. She's already said all of them. So I got to know you as a standup. And then I've been out of the standup world for about 10 years since this took off. And so you and I lost sort of touch with each other.

But you went on to then do all these cool jobs, like the Daily Show and David Letterman and Borat. Incredible. Thanks. Yeah, I worked a lot of jobs. Yeah. I also worked on Roseanne for a day. One day.

Yeah, it was the day she tweeted that thing. Wait, you didn't tweet it in her stead. No, okay. I wanna yes and you, but not on that one. Good try. So wait, you came in, you came in, you were hired. I was hired. She had seen my standup and hired me.

She personally hired, because she had a reputation for hiring a lot of standups that she liked. And some of them would come in and just do a short period of time and people would be like, who is this for, oh, Roseanne hired yourself. Yeah, I was one of those. Okay. And no, she didn't see my standup.

And then the day that we were driving up to the CBS Radford lot, I looked at my phone and saw that she tweeted that. And then that was my last day working for her. So you didn't like get to the guard station and do the U-turn that they always make you do it at Radford when it's like, oh, you're here to audition. Just make a U-turn in park, not on the lot.

Oh yeah, no, well. You came into the office. I went into the office, it was. That's a very specific reference for anyone who's ever auditioned at Radford, by the way. Well, I also Uber, because I'm not a good driver. Oh, okay. So I was in an Uber.

You were in an Uber, they drop you off and then you get there. We get there, they had like locks and bagels on the table. And I saw that my office was next to Wanda's office, Wanda Sykes, so I was really excited to meet her. And then I looked at my phone and, oh, I saw the tweet like right before, like when we were like checking into the,

when I went through the turnstile or whatever. This is really, I'm really milking this, really not dramatic. Yeah, a lot of details. So you went through a turnstile, you say? Wow. Really, I don't know what they're called. Usually I say details add to a story at this point.

Seems like they are preventing us from getting to the interesting part. There were everything bagels. There were holy. We've heard a lot about the bagels, the locks. Yeah, and then this show got canceled that day. It got canceled right away. So did you get time to acclimate yourself?

This is fascinating to me because I don't think I've ever had a job end the first day. The first day. Even before I got there, so what happened? Well, I was like, this feels weird. I don't think I should stay, but if Wanda Sykes is gonna stay, then I feel okay. And then I looked down at my phone when I was in the office

and it said like, Wanda Sykes is stepping down. She's like not writing, and I was like, damn it. Still, even without one, it's like, I think I might stay. And I'm like, what if without one? You know, if you're not at the table, you're on the menu. Yeah, yeah, I gotta stay, I just wanna get paid. And then Allie Levergott was also a writer.

I don't know if you know Allie, she wrote, Allie is great. And the two of us were kind of opining whether or not to stay or what have you. And then we had like a meeting with everybody. And then they just, I think, announced that the show was on pause until further notice. And then it became the Connors, and I did go back to write for that show.

Okay, so when you say you worked on Roseanne for one day, you worked on the show. On the show called Roseanne for one day, but then without Roseanne, I worked for a season. That's great. So you worked there for a season? Yeah. So it has a happy ending, you got paid.

Well, maybe because they had a contract with you. Yeah, no, it has a happy ending. Yeah, I mean, you're here now. I am here now. It was cool. It was a really interesting job. I had never worked for a network for like a sitcom. Yeah.

So that was cool. That's incredible. So you've had a really interesting career as a writer and as a standup. And now you're a writer, and I have to confess, I read the sample chapter of this book, and it is dynamite. Which one?

I think it's the first 12 pages, whatever they give you for free. Oh, cool. I should have brought a book for you. You should have brought a book for me. I have one of my book for you here. I have so many. I have a lot of them at home.

Yeah, so do I, that's a thing, yeah. No, but I was gonna, I almost was like, should I ask Janet for a publisher or send me the book? And then I looked at, I hovered over the purchase price, and I was like, I think I'm just gonna read the sample chapter. That's good enough for the show, right? Look, I have to watch movies for my other show. If I have to start reading books for this.

You read more than another interview that I did. That person is a friend, but they did not read any of the book. Right, so I read, and I read, I think, the part that you were telling, okay, so Jenna and I saw each other the other night in Portland, we did a book event together where we caught up,

and you half told me a story that I didn't really understand that is in the sample chapter. Colbert? Well, it starts with Colbert, which is interesting. Do you wanna talk about that? You were on the election night special in 2016 of the Colbert show,

where they were going to usher in the new president. Yeah, and it was live on Showtime, and they didn't want us following the news in advance. They wanted to get our reactions in real time, and I found out Trump, I don't wanna say one, but you know, whatever happened, I found out that that thing that happened, I found it out live,

and then I was just trying to not cry in front of my coworkers that's like a female, I don't know, I actually didn't wanna cry. It's happening to me right now. It's not just a female thing. Yeah, maybe. But you also had the pressure of being booked as a comedian on the show,

and having to not only process what was going on, but also we had the pressure of trying to say something funny. Yeah, you wanna be funny. And I actually said another thing that was worse than what I wrote about. So at the beginning, I was backstage with my friend, and she's like, yeah, I think Trump's gonna win.

And I said to her just, I was like, oh, I feel like I'm about to give birth to a baby that's already dead. And I just said that to her and she's like, that's funny, you should open with that. And I did. And so, and it was not funny. And it was not funny, but it was how I felt.

And I know it's insensitive, but also we should be talking about stillbirth and all this type of stuff because it happens. But the thing that got you into the most trouble is- And then after that, I said another thing. I said, get your abortions now because we're gonna be fucked and we're gonna have to live with it.

And then no one laughed at that either. And then I got like, I still get like hate mail from that. But I was getting all these death threats from people who are quote unquote pro-life, which as I write in the book, that feels like progress. But it was scary and weird. It's a weird situation. You have the pressure of like,

oh, what's the most piffy, concise, jokey thing I can say while also experiencing what to you was a big life-changing terrible event. To me, to just me. To only you, yeah. No, we're all cool with it. So that was in 2016, but you bounced back. You're now writing about it.

I'm now writing jokes about abortion. You have a book, Not Funny, which I've read a sample chapter of, approximately 12 pages. Half, yeah. But the story I was gonna talk to you about was, and you mentioned this when I saw you the other night. So it was good to get all of the details was you actually started an improv at I.O. in Chicago

and you were at Northwestern at the time. You were writing your thesis and you decided to write about. Female comedians in Chicago. Female comedians in Chicago. And there wasn't a lot of data that you could. No, there were not a lot of standup comics at the time. So people were like, have you heard about improv?

And I didn't really know what it was. And so they kind of, they were like, we'll check out this play. That's how everybody else talked about me. Check out this play. Check out this play. Check out this play. Check out this play.

Hey, thanks for coming on this show today. Hey, yeah. Check out this play, it's called Improv Olympic is all across from Rugby Field. So I was like, okay, I'll check it out. So I go in and then there's this woman, Katie Rich behind the counter. Katie Rich who's been on this show many times.

So funny. She was like, hey, if you pay for class, I'm just gonna do everybody's place that way. She was like, if you pay for classes, you can see all the shows you want for free. And then that, and that kind of, that was like my gateway into comedy. So you started doing improv

while being a student at Northwestern and while writing this thesis, which then the climactic conclusion to this story is, it got you kicked out of improv. The paper leaked on a, or like a blogger put it on their website and then all the people in the improv scene. I didn't think anyone would give a shit

about my senior thesis. I really didn't think anyone would care, but Chicago is a small comedy town. Everybody read. The comedians are being written about, they will find it. They will find it. Yeah, everybody read about it. People got upset.

It didn't, I didn't, it was so innocuous. It was like this little college kid's paper, but I basically said how improv, it gets a little wonky, but how like improv is kind of like a reflection of like social inequality. And so a reflection of like a stalled affirmative action agenda in our political economy, whatever.

But- I'm imitating yourself in the voice now. I am, I am imitating myself. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's how I sound right. But to myself. But anyway, yeah, so it was like, why is this institution so white?

And like, but it's increasingly female. So it was like optimistic. And I was like, women have achieved these, like have like, you know, achieved certain things in this community. Look at like Tina and Amy, and we're hosting SNL I think at the time. They came out of Chicago improv.

But minority men and women are still struggling. Why is that? And so I go through the paper. I just kind of talked about how it's a reflection of, you know, white middle-class women have really kind of made a lot of strides since the 80s, but other people, other groups haven't. And it's because of like racism

and social inequality and all these kinds of things that we're talking about now, but we weren't really talking about it publicly. This is in like 2005, right? 2005, yeah. And did you get in a good grade on the paper? Yes, I did. Yay.

But then you got a bad grade from IELTS. No, I did get a bad grade. I got kicked off my improv team and I kind of got blacklisted. And that's how I got into standup, which is really the saddest part. Ha ha ha ha. The saddest part is you developed a love for comedy

from improv and then you were forced out of- And then I was forced into- Forced out of what is traditionally a little more welcoming of a community. Improv was the best. Into standup, which is- Yeah, no, I saw best-selling last night and we joked about how, so the guy who like, the person who was like the gatekeeper

to our, or not even the gatekeeper, he was like this person who kind of gave female comics like, I don't wanna say a leg up, cause that sounds weird, but he was a registered sex offender. He was this really nice guy, but when he was 18, he used to wear hoodies and go around Northwestern's campus

and like grab people's crutches, women's crutches. But he was like the nice guy in our scene. And we would just be like, don't, I'm gonna, I'm gonna not use his real name. I'll call him Scott, you know what I'm saying? I don't want him to use his real name. I'll just call him Scott, awkwardly. What do you use his real name?

I'll call him Table or something, whatever. I don't know why Dan, I'll call him Dan. So, yeah, we were just like, okay, Dan, like Dan would throw us up on all these shows and we're just like, don't wear open totes shoes around Dan. I made that up, but I did wear them once and he like touched, but he was like pretty reformed

if you were around him in a group, you know what I mean? But that was the, that was like my like welcome into comedy. Like this guy, but he like, Cameron Esposito, Bestelli and I all got a lot of stage time from Table Dan or whatever you want to call him. Table Dan, this is not a bad nickname for someone.

I just don't want to say his name, but I don't think he's in comedy anymore. I think he actually works in like organic farming or something. Now we're narrowing, you're getting even more specific about him than even just his name. So, you go into standup,

which is a more welcoming community to you in Chicago. And I think, I just think that's a very interesting career track. Or you mean like I started, I started like your academia and to improv and then into standup. And then I had to write and then once I was doing standup,

I started kind of trying to do sketch writing and stuff and that's kind of how I got into writing. And now what the book is called Not Funny and what does the title have to do with any of the content and vice versa? I talk about part of why it was called Not Funny was because like I got in a comedy by writing a paper, which is so not funny.

But then also I talked about this on Colbert. I had a tweet that people got upset about and like a standup. Is there anything you've done in your career that people haven't gotten upset about or? This podcast. No, I don't, no one. We'll see you.

We'll see you on Monday. Come at me, libtards. No. So the book then it's called Not Funny, but it's about issues that are funny but in dealing with your life as a comedian, but also it's a political book. It also has, it's broken up also into chapters

or chaps as we call them in the biz. Yeah, yeah, chaps. I've got a couple of chaps in there. Just two. Yeah, two and a half. Two and a half. Wait, so halfway through the second, the third chapter, it just kind of goes, that's all I got, folks.

Yep. Goodbye. And it's like an illustration of me as a Looney Tunes. Okay, good. Oh, really? So it's like you in Space Jam, essentially? Like you as Lola Bunny? Did you realize, and I didn't realize this

until I saw Space Jam recently, that people of a certain age all wanted to have sex with Lola Bunny? Yeah. You were aware of it? You were aware of that? Yeah. Oh, interesting.

So what else do you deal with in the book? What are some of the other subjects that come up? I know that there is one chapter where, or CHAP, as we call it, where you interview male comedians like I believe Bob Odenkirk is one of them, right? Using the questions that you've received as a female comedian. Yeah, and I also, I asked a lot of female comedians

what questions they had gotten, and I kind of, I know there was this one article in the New York Times, I forget the interviewer, which is cool, I forget his name, but he interviewed Whitney Cummings and the questions, some of them were so bad. So I use some of those. I use some questions I've gotten, and I asked a bunch of male comics,

just the questions that we've gotten. And what are some of the questions you've received? Can I ask you? Yeah, go ahead. Okay, so do you write your own material? Scott Ockerman. That is a big no. You may not be asking the right person

if you're really trying to flip the script. I'm trying to flip it, I'm gonna ask a couple more. No, my M.O. is have some really funny friends of mine come in and I'll say whatever they say. Is it hard being a male comedian? Oh, as opposed to being a female, yeah, I mean, it's hard to be a comedian if that's what you're asking.

Do you think men can be sexy and funny? I think other men, other than me, can be both of those. Do you think men should accept Louise's apology? Oh, I don't know that he directed one at me, but interesting. Do you see how these are? Yes, no, they're coded in sexism, obviously.

No, but it's more just that they're really fun to tell because I don't even realize, we get it so much that you don't even, to see you squirm a little bit, it's so fun. So in this chap in the book, do people like Bob then try to answer the question seriously or is that about them squirming as well? Bob was so earnest, it actually threw me.

He was the first person I asked. They were all friends of mine, they knew what I was doing. I wasn't like, and there's this beautiful moment, I think, with Eugene Merman, where he reacted strongly to the question and I was like, I forget what it was, but I was like, I just wanna make you feel comfortable. And then he was like, not like how you were

when you were asked these questions, there's something like an awareness of like, oh yeah, we're asked such messed up questions so often that it just doesn't even register. Reggie, I think, tried to be funny at first and then just like dropped the- Reggie- Watts was, I interviewed Reggie.

Reggie Miller, I thought it's who you were talking about. Oh yeah, no, yeah. I have, I did reach out to Norm MacDonald. I don't know if I said this. Yes, you were, you sent us the other day, basically he said- He was like, yeah, let me get back to you. And then he died and I feel like he knew,

I mean, he definitely knew he was gonna die. I think that is such a baller move. I know. To be like, knowing you're about to pass away and be like, I'm gonna get back to you. I know, because when, even when he did get back, I just didn't think he would be so sweet about it or something. And I was like, oh Norm, maybe he's really turned a corner

and he wants to be part of this little feminist experiment. No, he was dying. Well, the book is, from what I've read, and that's approximately 12 pages, which I believe if I'm guessing page counts right is maybe five percent of the book. Fifty five percent. Fifty five percent of the book, really.

Yeah. So the book is 20 pages long. I can't do math. I am a woman. Two napchaps, 20 pages long. And yet still $15 if you're getting out. 27. 27 if you're, it's in hardback.

Yeah. Well, it's from, I mean, everything I know about you, you're a great comedian and an interesting person. And I am looking forward to you coming back a second time and bring me that book. So I don't have to pay that, pay that money, which I see, I like to receive money. I don't like to like give it out.

I get it. I get it. Do you relate to that at all? That's so relatable, Scott Ackerman. All right, well, we're gonna take a break. Can you stick around? Cause I need your help with our next guest. Cause honestly, like you're an interesting guest.

You know, you've worked on Letterman and Borat and then coming up a little later, we have someone in the food industry. Does everyone work in the food industry? I love food. You love food. I eat it. You're on the other side of the industry.

I'm on the other side. You're on the receiving end. Yeah, like me with money. And we also have someone who's finishing the great American road trip, which is exciting. Have you ever gone on, not even just a road trip, just a trip? No.

No trips, really. Is it the furthest you've ever traveled from your house? Okay, all right. Well, we have a lot to ask them. We're going to be right back. We all have more Jennifer Friedman. More Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Jennifer Friedman is here. The book is not funny. And that is not me editorializing. That is literally the title of it. It is out there. I'm going to guess stores, e-readers.

Pretty much anywhere where the written word is sold and merchandised. Mm-hmm. Yeah, good. We have to get to our next guest. He's in the food industry. I don't know doing what, but please welcome Grant's Prebs.

Hey, hey, nice to see you. Nice to be here. How am I? It is... I'm sorry, don't mean to interrupt you. Oh, no, I got nothing else to say. I just... You got nothing else to say?

Zero percent. Oh, no. Because you're taking a ball of bee block. I just wanted to say, I just wanted to say your interview was really, really great stuff. I really respect your journey. I respect making people angry,

because sometimes you got to do it to get where you want to be. And yeah, it was... And also, I love books. You know, so... Thank you. Have you had experiences where you've ruffled some feathers in your industry?

Yeah, yeah. You work in the food industry, Grant. By the way, your voice is very gravelly. Are you of the working class? I'm a... Yeah, I'm a working class. I can sometimes tell when people have, like, a certain kind of New York-style gravelly accent.

New York! Is that what you're hearing? I'm hearing a little new. Where are you from? I'm from Chicago, Illinois. Chicago? Oh, okay, okay. I'm not hearing those vowel choices. I'm a traveling guy, so sometimes I'll...

I'll be on the East Coast, the West Coast, the Middle Coast, the West Coast. So a lot like Madonna having just come back from London, you know, and marrying, what's his name? I don't know. I don't know who she's married to. I think his name was Guy? It's like, that sounds like an alien

pretending to be a human, doesn't it? I wouldn't trust... I wouldn't trust on that. It's like, I think he's an E.T., like... Yeah, yeah, like that's the kind that's got the... They wear a mask all year long. Remember when E.T. wore that Halloween, the ghost Halloween costume?

Yeah. He had a big, long neck, didn't he? Yeah, he had a big, long neck. He also did drag, so you can't watch that movie in a lot of states now. That's true. Oh, yeah. You know, he wore the feather bow. He got the long, pretty hair.

The lipstick. Yeah, you can't watch it anymore. He's a lot like the... Isn't there a Star Wars character that has big, long... Not long lips, but lips at the end of a big, long snout? Are you a Star Wars fan? Or are you a Trekkie? I mean, no, if I had to choose, it would be Star Wars.

They added that character in the CG remakes in the late 90s. But I do not know that fucking thing's name. So it's a long, long mouth with the lips on the end of the scene. By the way, it's great. We don't have to choose, right? We can like Trekk and Star Wars. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You can like everything.

Wonderful. So where do you work in the food industry? I'm a macaroni holder. Is that a metaphor? No, no, it's a legitimate job, a big union. I don't know if you know this, but before any of your macaroni is delivered to you, it has to go through a process whereby it starts as a solid tube like that, which you might squeeze out of a toothpaste or like the snout that some long lips are.

Yeah, yeah. Imagine that snout is a solid rod. Right. And then we come in and we drill macaroni, bucatini, any of the holes that you might see in a pasta. Any holes that are in pot. I'm trying to think of other pasta. Mastacholi, macaroni, cavatelli. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish pasta pasta would be over this right now.

Truth is, you know, I'm a macaroni holder. There is each union has its own. Like I'm not allowed to do any of the. Oh, right. The bucatinis or whatever. I think cavatelli is the one that is almost doesn't have all. Jenna, by the way, is miming very similar to what she was pointing at her brain earlier. Can I Google cavatelli? Yeah, please Google cavatelli while I speak to Grant's here.

So you so you what's up? Yeah, what's up? Your interview. All right. Did you expect no more follow up questions? I don't know how long this goes. I'm just I'm alone for the. You thought it was going to be three minutes where you just said what you did and then said goodbye, everyone.

Yeah, I don't I don't want to step on your time. If you have an answer on the cavatelli. Oh, what is it? Do you make holes that aren't like this type of a hole? I look like a I mean, that looks like a baby. It's like a fold. That's a fold. Careful, you're not on Colbert.

That's. Yeah, it looks like a like a shell that's been folded over. Yeah, that's a fold. That's that's not a. Is that a different union? I have I mean, I assume somebody's got to be doing the folding. But some of these guys are non-union and and, you know, they do. They do the folding on the on the DL. Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah. So some of the pasta is non-union. The folded pastas are non-union. I yeah, I really takes less scale than the whole. Well, yeah, if you're working as hard as we do on these macaroni holes, you don't want anybody to take advantage of you. So we're we're we're drilling all day long. We want to be able to work nine to five, go home and and have a good

a pension and a health care. Yeah, this is great. So what is the process? I'm fascinated with this because I always assumed that the the macaroni's were those are a little kind of their elbow pasta, right? Yeah, yeah. There's and when I say that it's shaped like the human body has an elbow on it. Yeah, if you if you were if you had a soft, boneless elbow, right?

Mm-hmm, which some people may have, by the way. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, no judge. No judgment here. If you like, if you've had your arm cut off at the bicep, but they still want to keep the skin in the hand without the bone in it. Yeah, loose elbow, loose elbow. It would be a lot like a macaroni. Exactly. Exactly. Now, it's a common misconception that the hole is made in the pasta

process itself. But if you really think about how that's possible, it's not possible. Possible because you can't have you can't have a cylinder with a bra. I worry you didn't hear me. I said, possible. No, you said. France, France, calm down. I appreciate a joke. You know, I if you want, I can recommend that joke to other people.

Do you mind? I mean, yeah, yeah, I'm shopping around for you. But yeah, that's that's what we do. We we how long are the are the macaroni's? Do you do a lot at a time and then and then they get cut up after that? Or is it one at a time? It's one at a time, one at a time, macaroni by macaroni. You can't do a long tube because you can't slide a rod in there without the pasta falling apart. Oh, really?

OK, that's interesting. Yeah, when you said the pasta falling apart, I could feel an emotion in your voice like you're it's really meaningful. Yeah, you care about this, don't you? I mean, I don't I don't I don't want. There's a lot of people on the line, you know? Yeah, and our job is the second to last job on the line. What's the last job? The boxing.

The OK, so it goes right from you to the box, right? Right into the box after the holes. So how many people before you on the line? Well, you got you got the the you can go backwards if you like. OK, you want me to go backwards from you? OK, OK. You got the cutters right before us. OK, so that cuts. So it's it is in a long tube before you and they're cut into. Yeah, yeah. So the cutters are right before me on the line.

How do they get into the elbow shape, then, if they're cut? But is it a long circle? Yeah, it's like a bendy shape. Oh, OK. So it comes out like a like a like a shit out of a giraffe, you know, like like a like a imagining. I've never seen it like a person. Really? It's incredible. Well, it falls from such a height and it does not like fall apart on impact. Really? Incredible.

You should go to a zoo. Yeah, they have these nice. You should go to a zoo. You go to a zoo. Where are you going to say, Jenny? They just have these like a first Friday is the giraffe shitting thing that you can bring your kids. Oh, on the on the first Friday of every month at the L.A. Zoo here. Yeah, really, a giraffe's shit. It's scheduled.

Really? Yeah, I mean. And there is. They give them special food and then they time it and they prayed them out and all the drafts at the same time. Really? Just lift their tails and then shit at the same time. I got to go see this. This is incredible. And this is so this is the process that you're playing. Yeah, there is no giraffe involved, but as a metaphor for what? But you haven't seen it.

So the pain is like a giraffe's butt or anything like that. To the machine that the tube comes out of. It's I mean, because that would be funny to be like, oh, look, it's squirting out this thing and it's painted like an anus. It first off. The giraffe's anus doesn't have like any special decoration. I mean, it's like a starfish symbol, you know, like the way it comes out of it. What are we talking about?

There's the whole there's the machine, right? I'm imagining a big machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a little hole that the pasta comes out of. Yeah, be funny to like paint around the hole like it was an anus and then put some like giraffe spots on it and be like, hey, look at all this shit coming out. I could I could I could run that up the line and see what they say. Run up the flagpole. It is a, you know, it's whimsical.

It's whimsical and it's not a joyless work environment. So like if they if they want to do it, I mean, it was just an idea. I just it popped to my head. I love it. I love it. I'm going to I'm going to write it down in my little book. OK. Oh, you have a little. Oh, wow, that is a little book. It's a little book of my ideas. Thank you very much. I told you earlier, I love a book. Yeah. Yeah.

So that is the step before you before that before that is the is the squeezer. That's the person who sort of milks the pasta out of this thing. You're calling a pasta. Oh, so someone comes over and milks it out. I would think it would be an automated process, but it's like it's like basically Greg and the parents movies, milking, milking Robert De Niro. You haven't seen those. Oh, you should. There's a milking. You got to come on.

Scott hasn't seen. All right. Yeah, it would be. Grants hasn't seen. Meet the parents. But yeah, the guy who milks the pasta and then above that on the on the second floor, you got the people making the pasta, the the the mixers. So you get the flour guys, the water guys. And this is because of gravity. They're on the second floor so they can then dump it.

So they can dump it in the big pot. Yeah, gravity, our friend, gravity, gravity. Yeah. I don't know anybody named gravity. Is that funny? Is that funny? You think it's so important to our lives, because otherwise we would be flying up into the sky, you know, and landing on the moon. And yet no one calls their their sons or daughters. I know a dog named Valentine, but I never I never met anybody.

Would you see this dog? Where? Yeah, right across, right across the street from where I live, the the neighbor or whatever you'd call across the street neighbor. That's I guess that's a neighbor, right? But it feels like you should only call neighbors, people who live on left and right. Yeah, left and right and maybe two doors down. Like I think we were raised the same way. I think so.

But my across the street neighbor. Yeah, this wonderful old lady named Shirley. She got a dog named Valentine. It's one of those little kinds that is real friendly and fall asleep a lot. And sometimes they carry it in a bag. I think all dogs fall asleep a lot, don't they? Or are there dogs who are constantly awake? I've seen a lively dog.

Yeah. Well, are you with them 24 hours a day? No, no. You're assuming if you see a dog and it's lively, it's lively. The entire it's entire existence. Yeah, I did make that assumption. All right. So there are but needless to say, there are a lot of people on the line. They're all union people. And once it gets to you, you use you have a is it like a jackhammer or what exactly?

No, it's like what do you mean? I mean, you work in the industry. Yeah, you know what? Yeah, you should. Yeah. No, it's a it's a prebler. Yeah, yeah, it's a prebler. And you your name is crabs, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm getting that. Was it named after you?

No, it was named after my great-great-grandfather. Well, so you're a NEPO baby. NEPO baby. I will admit that there is a little bit of family lineage in the macaroni hole in business. It's hard to break in. Yeah, did it ever skip a generation? Or it was your great-grandfather to your grandfather?

It did. Yeah, it did skip a generation. Which generation? Prebs three was a was a small town photographer. I had a nice portrait company. Oh, OK. Are you Prebs four? I'm Prebs five. Oh, OK. So your grandfather. My yeah, my grandfather.

Your great-grandfather is named after him. And then he. No, the names don't go up. No, I'm saying the the prebler was. Yeah, the prebler is. Yeah. That name does go up all the way to the top. Yeah, all the way to the beginning. Right, yeah. Was he the first one who worked in the industry?

He invented the machine because they used to do it by hand and the macaroni's would be all like fucking like all kinds of shapes. OK, I don't know that there's any need for that kind of language on the show. This is a family show. A lot of kids listen to it, apparently. I'm finding out recently. Well, you can you can you can bleep me with like a crunching sound. If I could choose it.

Unfortunately, we're all out of bleeps. Well, we ran out. It's only May and we're all out here. We've run out of twenty twenty three bleeps from from from the way the political climate's trend and it's going to be a rough fall for you guys. Oh, man. So he invented the machine. Then his son was a photographer.

Yes. And then your father went back to work on the machine. Yeah. And then trained me. I had an apprenticeship on the prebler and we it is kind of like a knitting needle. Oh, OK, yeah. It's got a delicate pinched end on one side, a rounded point. And you just slide it in one at a time. That is what she said. I notice that you're missing.

You can run that up the chain, too, if you want. But I mean, that's never come up on the floor. What? Some you describe that what we're doing is is sexual in nature. What words am I allowed to use? Describe the thing that you just described. I'm just saying that if I were to be on the floor and someone were to describe like a long, thin needle going into a thing,

I would be like, oh, yeah, it's like sex that's never come up on the floor. I mean, I don't I don't know that I've looked at a lady's parts enough. And oh, really? Great. Grants, what's whether or not they look like a macaroni, but none of the boys on the line are like, hey, this look like a vagina to me. Grants, you haven't seen a lady's parts all this much. I've seen ladies parts, but I think you're describing a part of it that I haven't. I have not witnessed.

Which parts are you familiar with? The way like medical. What words am I allowed? You're trying. We don't want to bleep you. But all right, all right. Then I'm familiar with the corn. I'm familiar with the loops and I'm familiar with the flaps.

The corn, the loops, the flap. I get a sense of what and the gusher. Oh, I don't know that I'm familiar with the gusher. And that might be my issue. Yeah, but so interesting, then, that it's come down to you. And do you have do you have children or do you we're working on it? You're working. You say you're a married individual. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My wife, my wife and I, we've been working on it a little, you know. What's that mean? What take, huh? What we're a little I thought you were going to ask a question. Yeah, Jenna. Well, I don't know. I was just going to imply that sometimes people steal children and they also say we're working on it.

What's that? What? Hold on. Hold on. I don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't want you and I need to you and I need to focus our attention over here. Now, Jenna, you're saying sometimes people steal children. Yeah. And say they're working on it, but just because it takes a lot of effort

to steal children sometimes. And these are like Dateline NBC type people. Yeah, people who might be on that show. Yeah, right. Yeah. Not producers for it. Right. Yeah. People who are subjects of the stars of the show. Yeah, the stars.

So you so you're asking whether Grants here, who's a nice young man by all accounts, is stealing children is trying to acquire one. Grants, let's settle this once and for all. Are you trying to steal children illicitly or are you trying to make them the old fashioned way, a.k.a. through sex? I want to see the old, old fashioned way is through stealing them. Oh, that was the original way. Just you have like one person maybe in the rest would like.

Yes. Traded around. Yes. In the old and old and old times. Yes. Yes. What came first, Adam and Eve or caveman? It depends on your orientation. Because it seems weird that Adam and Eve would be there. They'd be like in the garden, they'd be chilling, they'd be talking to each other and like, oh, snake, they'd be naming everything.

And then suddenly like then cavemen, it doesn't make any sense. Well, if you get kicked out of paradise, imagine how like you look like garbage. Yeah, that's true. You know, you might go back to like wearing like a fur thing and a beard. Right. Because suddenly you realize you're naked. So it's like, oh, this leaf, let me hide myself, my penis with this leaf first. And then you're like, OK, here's a bear. I but yeah, it doesn't make you allowed to say penis on the show.

I guess so. All right. I just found out it didn't get bleeped. Why do you want to say it? Well, I did. I also said it. And if mine was bleeped and yours wasn't, then that's I will run the tape backwards. We'll figure this out. But so, yeah, it's weird, though, because it seems like Adam and Eve,

like they have language and then suddenly like you have like I'm trying to imitate a caveman, can you these days? You can imitate babies because you did earlier saying Goo Goo Gaga. What did cavemen say? Oh, they said, like, I remember. Hello, I'm a caveman. I believe that's cock knees. We're confusing the two.

I know clan of the cave bear, the caveman would grasp his fingers together whenever he wanted Daryl Hanna to bend over. You know, wait, what? That's I've not seen this movie. Maybe we should do that for an episode. I'd love to. But clan of the cave bear, apparently that was code. They didn't have language.

That was code for for set. It's time for you to receive sex from me. You know, I read. I read a crazy book once. What was it? It was about Neanderthals. And they postulated in that book that the brains of the Neanderthal was so big, they were so much bigger than us that they had additional senses.

And this book was like, you know, in the in the lineage of ancient aliens, sort of that that that hocus pocus. Right. Yeah. A lot of people think they were all descendants from the. Yeah. Yeah. So it postulated that Neanderthals were psychic and that was part of why their brains were so big and why they had underdeveloped vocal cords because they didn't have to speak, because they didn't have to talk.

Interesting. So that's why they would say, like, grr, grong. I love that kind of book right before I go to bed because it gave me crazy dreams. So what did you dream about after you read it? I don't I was psychic, too. But we were speaking. It's kind of like how there's ESL and ASL. Yeah, I always get too confused, especially in a crossword.

I was I was communicating with them. But we were speaking different psychic languages. Oh, OK. So they were speaking in sign language. Meanwhile, I mean, like in a mental side, like the psychic. Oh, I see. So they so they were communicating in French. Yeah. And you were communicating in English. And you're like, hey, this psychic thing is not helping us because we don't understand exactly that the thoughts were directly linked like telephone lines.

But none of us could tell what each other was talking about telephone lines. Wonderful song by the Electric Light Orchestra. Do you agree on that song? I prefer Twilight, the movie. No, the song by Yellow. Oh, I don't know that song. I I guess I've never compared a movie to a song before. But there are some movies I like better than some song.

Wait, wait. Hold on. There's this is like what I experienced in the dream. So Twilight Twilight is a song now. Are you sometimes I feel like I am when I do the show. No, Twilight is a song by Electric Light Orchestra. I did not know that. That is. Yeah. And that was not the title track to the Twilight movie,

although it should edit that stuff on and put it up on the Internet. That's right. I would love that. But have you ever preferred a movie to a song in general? Yeah. So like what's a what's a song like I'm thinking. No, what's my age again by Blink 182? Is that also a movie? No, no, I'm just saying I probably prefer the movie Koda to that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I was thinking of the

that song that tells you to wear sunscreen. Oh, yeah. The the the one by Bas Lerman, right? Not as good as Serpico. Yeah, I think I agree on that. All right. All right. Although it's close. So I guess I would say that the the song. What's that? That song is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. Oh, that's a great song.

I do not prefer that to the movie Omelie. Okay. So you like the movie Omelie better. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Is it close or are they far apart? They're pretty far apart. I think it would be cool to like, you know how you you you sometimes like look up websites and says like every doctor who season ranked. It's like I would love to go to a website that's like everything ranked.

That would be that's that's like Wikipedia on like but without shuffle. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Like Wikipedia should rank every single thing it has. I guess you could rank everything if you look because there's got to be a page that is most viewed on Wikipedia. That must be number one. You're right. And that would rank everything in Wikipedia.

This oh my god. I have a bad feeling about whatever that number one article is. Just based on the internet. Yeah, I think you're right. Well, look, Grants, we're running out of time on B block. And you came in with 0% to say and yet we filled up the entire B block. And you can believe it. You're a fantastic interviewer.

Well, you're a fantastic interviewee. You got secrets out of me. I was not prepared to share. Well, look, can you stick around though? Because we have a very interesting person coming up. We have someone who's finishing the Great American Roadtrip will be here. So I love it. That's right. Marty Motorcycle will be here after the break.

Jenna, you can stick around. We'll have more. Jenna Friedman will have more Grants, Prebs and Marty Motorcycle is going to be here right after the break. We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this. Comedy bang bang. Comedy bang bang. We're back.

Jenna Friedman, the book is entitled Not Funny and it is it's out there in stores right now and people can buy it. And how are the sales? Like, has your publisher gotten back to you? They're not good. They're not good. Well, maybe this will help. Yeah, I'll plug it.

OK. OK, saving for plugs. But yeah, plug her book in plugs. On the macaroni line. I'll plug it everywhere I go. Yeah, do you ever plug macaroni? Like, is it ever? Oh yeah, you meant.

Is there a country with a hole in it already? You mean do we like reverse it to spaghetti? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, fat spaghetti. That's like four. That's four people on the line that it's got to go backwards. Right, right.

Is that the darkest secret of your industry? Is it sometimes you plug a macaroni? I won't say it here. But have I heard of it happening? Yes. OK, all right. Well, we need to go to our next guest. And this is exciting.

He is finishing the great American road trip. I've gone on a few road trips myself. And so I'm excited to go. I'm not sure what he's here to do. Give us tips on how to do our own, or I don't know exactly what he's here to do. But I mentioned his name right before the break. Please welcome Marty Motorcycle.

Howdy there, Scott. Oh my god. How you doing? You have a gravelly voice, too. I'm a working man. Shake my hand. Shake my hand. What is it about working men that they have such gravelly voice?

Such a pleasure to meet you. Do they all smoke? Oh my god. Wow. Well, you got those podcaster hands, Scott. I do. Soft and nimble. I also have the podcaster's voice.

Smooth and buttery. That's right. My hands are like asphalt. They are. Like the bark of an ancient pine tree. I thought you were going to describe a dog, but you went to a tree. And that's interesting how words can

have two different meanings sometimes, isn't it? It's a trip, ain't it? It is a trip. You ever seen any trees on your big American road trip? I've seen almost every tree in the US, the United States. So wait, every tree that exists, and they've been in the United States, or is every tree that exists in the United States?

Currently sprouting in the live trees and fallen trees, not trees from the past. I'm glad that we got that settled. Absolutely. Welcome to the show. This is grants. Hey, nice to meet you. Hey, nice to meet you.

Oh, that's a tough hand. I like that handshake. That's really nice. You must work. You probably work long hours. I do. Well, they're unionized, so they're nine to five. A real solid block of work.

Yeah. And this is Jenna. Nice to meet you. I'd love to shake your hand. The softest one yet. Thanks. I put softener on it. Yeah.

But it's weird, though, that I bet you worked longer hours than either of these two did, because, I mean, on Letterman, that's like an all day thing, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, what is that? 9 AM to 7 or something like that? Yeah, I think it was like 8 to 8. Unlike a diamond, I do not believe that time equals pressure.

OK, good to know. Marty. Oh. Yes. Oh, my god. What's wrong? You're patting your pockets. Oh, hold on.

Scott, I forgot my motherfucking guns. God damn it, Scott. Do you mind if I go get my motherfucking guns? Oh, god, I wish we weren't out of bleeps. I do. I do mind you. You were going to get a gun? No, no, no, no, no.

Hold on. Oh, I'll be right back, baby. Oh, my god, he's driving all the way. Riding his motorcycle away. I am a motorcycle. Thank god we got the law of Mike on him. Wait, you are a motorcycle? Yeah, baby, I'm Marty motorcycle.

Half man, half cycle. OK, he's riding around the neighborhood. We can't even see him anymore. We can hear him, because I got a law on him. He's going to open his door real quick. Now that I'm a man again, they're my motherfucking guns. Wait, did you have a car here? She's already in the motorcycle.

Time to transform back into a motorcycle. Sorry about that, Scott. I could not talk to you without my motherfucking guns. It's OK. We'll talk about the guns in a second, but I. What do you mean? I don't know why they're here. OK, but we'll talk about that in a second.

Are you one of those? I've been seeing movies about these, or I've only seen one of them, but are you like one of these transformers? I would say I'm not them, but it's the same rules. OK, so you're not copyrighted. No, I'm not stealing their thing. I'm kind of my own thing.

I'm my own man. Right, you're right. But all the parts that are in me are also motorcycle parts. And all the parts that are motorcycle parts are also human parts. So the bones are motorcycle parts? Yes. And the flesh is what, leather?

So like, well, it's human flesh, right? So like when I turn into a motorcycle, my seat made out of human leather. OK. I see. So it's not like the transformers are robots who are metal that transform into other metal things.

Yes. You're a human with flesh and piss and. I got piss, but I also have oil. That was number two on your list. Hey, you know, I don't want to talk to somebody if they're not full of flesh and piss. But you, all of that, so like, where is like your blood? What is when you transform into them?

Is that the oil in the motorcycle or? My blood is oil. Your blood is. OK, so you're human with oil for blood. Yeah, here. The problem is, is that sort of like when you start getting into the hybridization of technology here, there's a lot of crossover that

may seem a little inconsistent. OK. Yeah. Got it. So you do have, you have oil for blood. Yes, my bones are metal. Your bones are metal. OK.

Yes. But you have skin. Yes. OK. My eyes are human eyes. OK, and what are those turned into when you're the motorcycle? Blinkers. So the left, the left turn and the right turn blinkers.

You better believe it. Eyes technically are blinkers. What do you think about? It kind of works, doesn't it? The more we got it, doesn't it? They're blinkers and they're blinkers, depending on how many you're using. I just feel like it makes sense.

It does make sense. When you get into an accident, do you go to? To an ER or do you go to an auto shop? I've never taken a spill. You've never laid it down? I've never laid it down. Come on. So you're a motorcycle driving around

without a human on top? Yeah. I mean, look, I don't. You get a lot of weird looks. There are very few trucks that are mirrors. So I'm not seeing myself a lot on the road. But yeah, that's exactly what it looks like. Because I know when.

Unmanned motorcycle. When Knight Rider, which was a car that was sentient. OK. When it would be out there. Imagine that. That's horrible to imagine. When you imagine. Really think about it.

Trapped in the body of it. Although, I guess we're all sentient and we're trapped in these things. So it's like, we should be like, ah, this is terrible. And some of us are. But so in the show Knight Rider, that car would get a lot of looks. Like people look at, like last week's guest,

who would throw away their bottle of booze. You know, like, ah, I'm going sober after this. Does that happen to you a lot? I guess is my question. I'm just so fast. The problem is I'm just so fast, people can hardly see me. Oh. Do you ever?

But I'm sure there's been a kid or two in the back seat that sees me and goes, mama, dad, what WTF with Mark Maron? And they go, what's that? They ask what WTF is? They go, what's WTF with Mark Maron? And they go, that's podcast royalty. What was your question, Joe? Do you ever get lonely?

Don't scoff at Jenna's question. It's a real question. Oh my gosh. The road's a lonely place. There's oil coming out of your blinkers. There's oil coming out of your blinkers. I'm real lonely. You could say, I don't even know where I come from.

So you don't know your own origin story? Or because like the transformers? I'd be remiss if I said that this whole time on the road, I've been searching for my origins. Really? So you've never seen anybody else like you? You have a mommy or a daddy? I don't have a mommy, and I certainly don't have a daddy.

Why are you more predisposed to not having a daddy? We all got a bias. You tell me that you don't like one more than the other. If it came to push comes to shove, do you add to? I hope that push never comes to shove, because I love them both equally. Yes. But so you have just one day.

I've been searching for where I'm from, Scott. There's like a block in my mind. I can only remember so far back. Did you start as a tricycle? Well, then. I wish I could remember. Sturgis. Excuse me, like the.

Did you say Sturgis? Yeah. Why did you say that? I would love to, I'm back there because I don't. I can't connect to that word. I have something to do with stealing babies. Isn't that a place? What's it called?

Sturgis. I mean. A lot of places are places. Did you just name a place? I feel like that's where you're from. Hold on. Maybe you're from Sturgis. Flint.

Maybe you're from one of these. Sturgis, South Dakota. Why do you mention it though? Because there's a motorcycle rally there. Oh, yes. Oh. The big motorcycle rally. Yeah, the super spreader then.

Yeah. Oh, I mean, I've been there. I've been to a few and look, I've traveled far and wide. The Dwight D eyes now are a interstate highway. And I have not found anybody like me. So you just, one day, your earliest memory. Yeah. You.

Just cruising. You're just cruising. I just, my eyes opened up and I was going 135 on a freeway that had a zero. That's too fast. That's too fast. I told you I'm fast, Scott. Okay, but still.

Especially for a young child. And so you don't know where you came from. The Transformers, I believe they're from a planet. There's something called the Allspark. Interesting. I don't know what exactly. I don't know. Jen, have you ever seen any of those movies,

the Transformers movies? Mm-hmm. Why? Because, why not? Why not? It's a good, I mean, you know, when you think about it that way. Are you taking a sip of oil there?

What exactly was that? I had to loop up my throat. This is one of those things where you, I don't normally talk this much. Well, normally you're going vroom, vroom, vroom. Absolutely. Absolutely. So I guess my other question is,

do you have a car outside where you were keeping your guns and why? If you do. That was my hotel. Where, if you want me to break that down, I turned into a motorcycle. That's what that sound was. Okay, got it.

And then that's me being a motorcycle. Right, yeah. And then I cruised. You were also talking while you were at the motorcycle. Yeah, well, yeah. You were talking motorcycle. My teeth, the grill of the motorcycle, is just my mouth.

I see so many people talking about motorcycles. My mouth. So it's teeth when you're a motorcycle? Also teeth. Does it remain the same size as a regular mouth? It all kind of balances out. So the eyes are regular size? They're more like,

you got to think like each form is appropriate for the form. Right. So like my human form, I look, you know those big dog shirts? Yes. I look like one of those dogs if you were a human with a beard. Got it.

Okay. Are you the same weight when you're a motorcycle as well? It all changes. Everything changes. It all changes. Why does an extra weight go? Yeah, because I'd love to know. I would love to know.

Because I mean, it seems like a physics kind of problem. Like I don't think that's possible for weight to just like disappear. I don't think you can just absorb and loosen density. Yeah, exactly. Maybe I'm not from this world, Scott. I think that's probably true. I don't think I've seen anything like you.

I don't know. Maybe it just transfers to gas. So when you're a motorcycle, then when you go to a human, you just have like this aura of gas around you. Am I stinky? No, no. No, just like the exhaust cloud.

Maybe that's where you're. My carbon footprint. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of like an aura. Yeah. You could pay somebody $60 in Brooklyn to take a picture of me and there'd be an aura. Right, yeah.

Exactly. I don't know what that reference is. I've never lived there. Yeah. So. I can explain it. That's okay. I think we can move on.

I think so too. But yeah, you might be an alien. You might be one of those ETs we were talking about earlier. Well, the only thing, Scott, the only thing I know about me is that there's a tattoo on my back. Well, what is it?

What's it of? It looks like earth, except that the landmass is shaped like a marijuana leaf. I don't know. I don't know it. I don't know if I'm ever gonna remember. This may seem crazy, but I did hear of an ancient text

that said the memory could be jogged with a bonk. Like a hit in the head? I don't know. This is crazy. I've never asked anybody to do this, but maybe if you bonked me in the head, I could. With like a lead pipe or? Anything, some hard,

because you gotta remember that skull's metal. Can I have one of your guns? Yeah, you can. By the way, we haven't talked about the guns. Why are you not able to talk without them? Why does a motorcycle need a gun? Okay, just imagine a motorcycle, right? A motorcycle already is a lethal weapon.

You drive it hard enough. Yeah, just imagine a motorcycle with a couple cool motherfucking guns on the side. That is cool. It's a confidence thing, okay? I don't know where I come from. It creates a little bit of a... I have a thighs, yeah, I haven't think about that.

All right, so your guns are welcome here. Do you ever wanna have children? I'm not capable of doing that. Wait, so the semen? I mean, I guess I would have to find another hybrid eyes. So the semen in your body is not semen. It's something that's actually, it's like antifreeze or something.

Have you ever tried to lay an egg? Honestly, I have not. You could have children the old fashioned way. Late at night, I have not done that. Cause your whole makeup remind me of HR Geiger, you know, like with the bones becoming a machine and everything, so, what was that? I believe it's Giger.

He's been a guest on this show several times. HR Giger? I believe it's Giger, yes. That's funnier than it should be. He really did something to the Batmobile, didn't he? He really did. He was also, he designed a Debra Harry's Cuckoo album. I don't know.

It always reminds me of Cuckaroo. But, so, you can lay an egg possibly, but we also want to bonk you on the head. I'm just thinking, I don't know. I think there's this tattoo of a landmass, the shape of a marijuana leaf. The shape of a marijuana leaf. This reminds me of a previous guest.

I don't know. Maybe. I don't know, maybe. Is it tying into that? Maybe if you bonk. Let me, but it'll be just bonk you, man. Yeah, I want to do it. All right, I have one of your guns here.

Here we go. Yeah, just, oh, that's a solid bonk. Oh my God, it's all coming back to me. It's going, I'm seeing green everywhere. Oh my God, trees filled with kush. Oh my God, the clouds, they're kush. There's a train. Now, that's all I remember.

Bonk me again, Scott. Okay, let me bonk you. Bonk me again. All right, all right. Oh, the portal opened. A crazy man came in and he brought some fleas. A man, we couldn't handle in the fleas where he never bought it.

It's all coming back, Scott. The land got killed by the fleas and we all tried to escape. We all escaped. It's, oh my God, I'm from Cushtopia, Scott. That's, it's barely coming back to you guys. I remember I saw an alternate planet called Cushtopia. Yeah, could you remind me it's an alternate planet

about Cushtopia and what else? Yeah, Cushtopia, I believe it's an alternate planet that split because of an asteroid. Right, and the person who was on this show said Cush Cush all the time. It toot toot. Toot toot, that's right, okay. Wait, you know Mr. Toots?

Yeah, Mr. Toots has been on this show. Mr. Toots has been on this show. He used to run the trains at Cushtopia. That's right, I guess, yeah. To be honest, it didn't stick with me a lot of what he was saying. Just, I remember he said something. It was pretty light.

I think it got drilled a little harder than he anticipated and it was a little light. So you're a resident of Cushtopia? I must be. Okay, and you're, he ran the trains, you're a- I'm a motorcycle. Sentient motorcycle from Cushtopia and there are others like you there?

There's tons. And where'd you get the tattoo? Maybe we all have it. And maybe we're all British. What's the tattoo when you're the motorcycle? Is that like a bumper sticker? It's a bunch of numbers. It's a bunch of numbers.

Okay, yeah, that's, it's right on the tailpipe. It's like- It's a bunch of numbers. It's a bunch of numbers. Oh, it's more 2069. Oh, I don't know what happened to my world though, Scott. Yeah, I guess we'll never know, will we? Oh, wait, no, do you want me to bonk you on the head again?

Wait, one more time. Are you sure this isn't gonna make you forget? Cause that's what in Amnesia movies, it's like you bonk once. I guess I don't want to get on the box. Bonk once or remember, bonk twice to forget. All right, here we go. Oh, what's my name?

Okay, let me bonk you. Wait, when am I here again? Am I on the sheet? It was you, Scott. What? You destroyed my world. I barely remember- Is that why you have the guns?

You said to me, I'm covered in fleas into my world and we couldn't handle it and you sucked blood dry. I don't remember any of this, but I apologize. I'm not discounting your experience. I believe you that it happened. And I apologize for it. I'm just saying, I don't remember. I'm not gonna be mad cause I wasn't a part of it.

Okay, good. I'm not gonna be upset. Good, so if you're not a part of something, you think the people involved are okay by you? Well, look, I'm trying it. If they're not coming for you, you're okay with it. I'm pretty chill. If I'm out, I'm out, you know what I mean?

I don't want to get in the way of a Koanashi like you and the Eater of Worlds. Oh, I don't remember doing it. I mean, you're gonna have to remind me when the show is over exactly what happened on that episode. Absolutely, I can tell you, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get into it. It's sort of an indirect thing.

There was another guest or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay, well, I'm sorry. Look, I could not have foreseen that you tied into Mr. Toots, a previous guest on this show because I, personally, I thought what you had was enough. Oh, I get that, I get that. And that's what a lot of my friends said.

That's what a lot of my friends said. But trying to find your origin that I'm glad that we, do you have a mom and dad? Do you remember that? I was made by a super computer. Oh no. I remember booming real quick. Who made me?

Oh my God, it was a computer on board operating system. It was named Cooter. Oh, Cooter, yeah, I sort of remember that. You bigly remember that one, too. These are a lot of references to an episode that was honestly not that long ago that I should remember. Yeah, Cooter, oh, I must have been made in a lab.

Okay. Oh, you're like, you're like the elbow macaroni. Yeah, like Levin on that show. Oh yeah, like a Stranger Things. Yeah, you might like a mechanical lab. Like a scene from my robot. Oh, please don't joke about that. Oh, my apology, Scott.

At least not this holiday season. Yes. But so you were grown in a lab, you have no father, no mother. That's a lonely existence. Are there any like you? Wait, did he say grown? Oh yeah, are you grown?

Are you grown? I feel like I'm probably like 45, 50. You have a voice of like a 45, 50. Yeah, 45, 50, 52, something like that. No, I meant, are you grown in a lab or are you manufactured? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, are you organic or are you? What are you, bunch of hippies?

Assembled, where you assembled? But you want my boots to be made of flax seed. No, I guess, I mean, I guess we're talking about the same thing when people are born, it's like a mechanical process, but with flesh, right? Yeah. Yeah. That makes sex sound good, right?

I'm just trying to visualize the lab. Yeah, yeah. Like is it, is it an assembly line? Is it what? Or is it like, you know, putting the needle in the macaroni? I think it was like a, it's sort of like a very confined, one and done lab. It wasn't like a-

Is it when the workers, like when their workers are hungry, do they order sweet greens or- In this instance, the workers are super computer. Okay. Right, so no sweet greens for lunch? Yeah. Okay. Huh, is it dank and dusty and like-

It's covered in smoke. Covered in smoke, okay. So much so you can't see it. Yeah. It smells of skunk and pine. A lot of skunks getting in there, is that- Well, it's all the kush. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm forgetting that part of it. There's a lot of layers. This is a world where I can't even describe it, but- Most every, about 90% of everything is made of kush. And 10% is like metal and- Right, right, right.

Like pizza's pizza, kush is kush, but pizza's pizza, a train is a train. Right. But most of it is kush. Right, right, right. And you're part of the metal part. It was a beautiful world. Maybe you could go back there.

Maybe some of my friends are out here. Are there anyone like you? Because, I mean, you're lonely, you want to have sex, I think. Well, I know that there must be other people from Kushtopia that tried to escape before you destroyed our world. Again, I apologize for that.

Is Mr. Tootsa, did he escape? I don't remember what his fate was. I have to assume that he's alive. Yeah, I hope so. I hope, I'm sure Mrs. Toots is alive, too. Was Mrs. Toots on that? Maybe Dr. Resin is alive, or the Bong brothers,

or a Lisa Gilroy original character. I don't know, there's a lot of people. Have you got? There's a lot of people here that, I don't know, could maybe build an entire content world from Kushtopia. Wait a minute, are you just trying to get your own CVV presents here?

What? Wait, I mean, that's certainly not where I started. Look. There's just a lot of interesting people from a very interesting world. We're pretty filled up. We just debuted a new show that Will Hines is doing. Maybe you could be on one of those.

What, are you out of gigabytes? Not enough room on the hard drive? I don't know, I just, I don't know that this has legs. Pardon me, I know you have wheels. Really tough, really tough to hear. Really tough. I don't mean to insult you.

I'm not here, look, I'm not here with paperwork. I'm not here with a deal. I was just saying, now that I'm remembering, I got a lot of friends. I'm not even ready to paper a deal. I'm just saying that I don't think that the Kushtopia premise had enough legs

for someone to come and do a sequel on another episode. It's interesting. That's interesting. I feel dense to me, it feels dense. And it just needed, I think if I just had a couple months to kind of build it out, you know what I mean? It would make a little more sense.

All right, I'll see. Like it to me now, after I've thought about it. That makes a lot more sense. Okay, can you work up a pitch documentary? I know that we're maybe not supposed to be. Look, I know, no paper here, buddy. No paper, we're not signing us. Improp pitches are okay,

but wait, there was no paper on Kushtopia? How do they make joints? How to kush. The paper is kush, the trees are kush, so we make kush. I mean, why, like burritos, the wrapper is edible? Yeah. Why can't you smoke joints

where the paper is pot? Like a pot leaf. Like hemp seed, yeah. Yeah, but it also gets you high. Yeah, there must be hemp. There's gotta be this. Okay, we need to go in on this, as well as a website that ranks everything.

Yeah, because we can't make money as writers anymore. Yes, yeah, or ever. Ever. I feel like the.001% extra high you would get from having the paper be also marijuana is maybe not worth the effort. I think it's worth it. Is that what you're saying?

All right, it's basically a bread bowl. Yes, exactly. Yeah, but that... It's like, why do we have... Okay, that's the other thing about... I've been thinking about, okay, so water originally came in streams, right? Originally.

I thought it started as ice. And then we were like, oh, you know what? I'm tired of bending over into the stream and cupping our hands, and so we invent glasses, right? Yeah. And then we're so tired of tilting the glass that we have to put a straw in it. I mean, come on, how much lazier are we gonna get here?

Well, we inject it into our veins via saline drips. I don't... If I may. Yeah. There is a pretty robust antagonism between the straw industry and the macaroni industry, because I do think that that's proprietary technology. Macaronis are the straws of pasta.

Yeah. I mean, and people are now putting macaroni into their drinks to use instead of straws. Because we don't like the paper straws anymore, so we're putting macaroni in it. Has anybody stuck a finger in your hat? Yeah, has anyone ever stuck a finger in your hat? And called it macaroni?

Yeah. I mean, nobody's ever done it to me. Here, let's do it. I, hey, that's my head. That's macaroni. That's not my hat, it's a head. Oh, so you have hair that looks like a hat. Yeah, I do.

What is that? It looks like a baseball hat. We gotta wear a hat on the assembly line, and I work all day long, so my hair is taken on. You hairspray? Yeah, so make it easy to put it on and off. Because it has the Chicago insignia, the cubs. Yeah, yeah, the Chicago insignia.

It's kind of like a road helmet. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. Wow, well, look, Marty Motorcycle, I hope you find love. I don't know about the whole- I hope I find love. That's your fucking summer? Holy shit, man.

Yeah, me too, bro. I hope that for all of our guests, and I hope you find love. Brantz, I know you're married. Yeah, I'm married. We're trying to steal a child. We're trying to steal and sire a child, whichever comes first.

Whatever comes first, of course. Well, I hope one of those comes true. We are running out of time. We only have time, really, for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. That is... All right, guys, just one last thing to do, here on the show, that is a little something

we called, called, called, called, called, called, called, called, called, called. All right. That was Plugs for Scotty by Sean34. Thank you so much to Sean34, if you have a plugs theme, send it over to CBBworld.com slash plugs. All right, Jenna, what do we plug in here? Obviously the book is out now, not funny. Yeah, it is out.

Yeah, it is out. I guess I could plug the book. I was gonna plug. You could, although I think someone else is gonna plug the book for you. Okay, I was gonna plug a new type of pasta, a new cavatelli with a hole in it. Oh.

You've been working on this technology? What is this? Well, I was trying to help you out, but no, yeah. Oh, wait, you were trying to invent a pasta? So that, oh, you were plugging me because I was about to plug you. Yeah. I love it, I love it.

But, Grants, I don't think you need it. You don't need it. You guys do well, right? We've got a good union. You have a good union, you don't need the extra work. Okay. I'm gonna plug. This is the most wrestling with the concept of plugs

I think anyone has ever. Because everyone, you know, everywhere, we're inundated with buy this, buy this. So, of course, people can spend $30 on the book, but what do you wanna give people? What do you wanna give back? My son. You wanna give people your son?

No, I'm just kidding, I love him. No, do you have a, you had a show on Adult Swim, didn't you, do you have one of those? Oh yeah, I have, I do have a show, I did have a show on Adult Swim and we just put all the content on YouTube for free. Oh, okay. So if you Google my name, Jenna Friedman,

and sexual harassment, you will find, Or just Google sexual harassment, you'll get there. And you'll get there. You will find one of my favorite things that I've ever made, and we, yeah, just Google my name and sexual harassment. And it's on YouTube right now. The second link, the first link,

just ignore that bitch, don't just kidding, that was a bad joke. Yeah, it's on YouTube, it's, we gamified, and we made a game to teach gamers, like, you know, how to be nice. Right. In their games to win. That's right, you were telling me about that.

Yeah, so I'm gonna plug that free thing. Okay, great, all right, fantastic. And then, Grants, I have a feeling about one of the things you go, Hey, no, I'm good, we met before. All right, yeah. Yeah, we were talking before. Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I didn't punk you on that, did I? No, you didn't. Oh, okay. No, there was a piece that flew off. Yeah, I saw that. That got completely close.

Oh, did it get close? I beg your pardon, yeah. That's all right. It's a magnet that gets stuck on me. You know, I wanna plug this book that I've been hearing all about by Jennifer Friedman, it's called Not Funny, and it's all about like her journeys in comedy. She started as an improviser, got kicked out of that community after writing a really specific essay for a class,

and then she became a stand-up, and then she's had a storied career afterwards. Not funny. Wow, not funny, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna check that out. At least I'll read the sample chapter. Are you writing it down like you just heard it?

I'm in character. Anything else you wanna plug? Obviously, there are a lot of podcasts out there, and you must listen to some of them when you're on the line. Yeah, yeah, we're allowed to listen to podcasts. So, you know, I don't know if you guys have heard about this, but there is a way that you can listen to podcasts. You can just stream them to your iPhone, your Android, whatever it is.

So I recommend podcasts. Just podcasts in general. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a specific one? Nah, that's not necessary. All right, good to know. And Marty, motorcycle, what, please don't plug a CBB World Show that you're gonna be pitching me.

We're not, I don't know that we're doing it. We can talk off-air. Yeah, we'll talk off-air. That sounds good. Yeah. You can follow Comedian Jacob Weisackie online, Instagram and Twitter. Yeah.

You can check out. Doesn't he have a podcast? He does have a podcast, a new podcast that's coming out very soon. Yeah, I talked to him about this. Yeah, with friend of the show, producer Matt Apodaca. Yeah. It's called Expo Xpo Zay. Right.

It goes to different expositions in Southern California and interviewing people to talk to them about what they love, the things that they love. Wow, that sounds fascinating. That's a great idea for a podcast. Thank you so much. It's my ode to one of my favorite men of all time, Yule Hauser. Oh, okay.

Oh, I love fucking Yule Hauser so much. Would it be as good of an idea if the name wasn't Expo Xpo Zay? Like, if an Expo was called something else, like a fair, so like fair expose, wouldn't be good, right? Wouldn't be good, right? A secondary title that I'm trying to remember that I think was like... You involved in this, Marty? Yeah, I'm a financial backer.

Oh, you are. I'm a financial backer, yeah. I actually own 80% of Irworth. Oh, okay, congrats. Yeah, we're going to, I think it's a good, I think it's a good move. It's a good brand. I think it's a good brand. It's a good move.

I think we were going to maybe call it like a conventional conspiracies or like convention conversations or something like that. I mean, but Expo Xpo Zay is what I said. It's too good. It's sweet. It's just too good. Yeah, but you can check that out. You can do tons of improv.

You can check out the Yeti improv team at UCB or at the Elysian Theater. And you, of course, you can listen to Custopia on Comedy Bang Bang World. I don't know about that. I want to plug, hey, the Comedy Bang Bang book is still out there. It came out a week after Jenna's. And so if you have to buy one, obviously buy Jenna's. But if you can buy two books, our book is still out there. And you can get that anywhere.

But if you need some links, go to CBBworld.com slash book. And then, you know, speaking to CBBworld, if you like Comedy Bang Bang, we have all of the past episodes, all of the archives, plus live episodes, plus ad free episodes. Plus we have shows like we just put out a show called Heinz Prove to Meet You, which is Wil Heinz teaching people from Comedy Bang Bang improv. Like on this first episode, it was Batman and also Intergeno. And so that just came out this week.

And we have Scott hasn't seen so many shows. If you're just listening to Comedy Bang Bang, you're only getting half the story. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Yeah, that was Closing the Plug Bag by Kid Cold. Kid Cold. Guys, I want to thank you so much, Jenna. Great to catch up with you and continued success to you. Before we go, you worked on Borat.

Do you want to say, you know, my wife or anything like that? My wife. Thank you. Nice. Nice. Good luck and grants. Great to meet you. My wife.

Okay. Good. Hey, Marty Motorcycle, you're here. My wife. All right. We all did it. All right. We'll see you next time.

Thanks. Okay?