Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Ladies and Gentlemen, Jelly Roll (Hannah Einbinder, Carl Tart, Talia Tabin)

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Hannah Einbinder is back this week to discuss name pronunciation, her love of Eagles football, and "Hacks" returning for its fourth season. Then, Deion Sanders (shoutout to Shaboozey) returns to clap his hands, stomp his feet, and talk about "Step by Step." Finally, psychic Abby Spot joins to talk about her past experience as a dog. #DeionOnHacks Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I see. Thanks to Dick Mickelob for that catchphrase submission. Dick Mickelope, it's pretty catchy. Other than saying Google, Google is so hard to pronounce, isn't it? I'm going to talk to our guest of honor. Yeah. Try to say Google, if you don't mind. Okay, here I go.

Google. Yeah. Not bad. You really stress the L. Yeah. Google. But, you know, isolating Google is one thing. Saying it in a sentence, you know, it's like kind of...

Say, I see London, I see France, I see your house on Google Maps. I see London. I see France. I see your house on Google Maps. Google Maps. That is a Bachelor of Fine Arts for you. That's what it gets you. Absolutely. Well, we did some vocal warmups and exercises before we got on mic. Of course. So that's what that was for. What was your war? Did you have to craft a warm up? And I'll introduce you in a second. By all means. And what did you do in your warm up? Did you speak the speech, I pray you as it comes trippingly off the tongue?

I sort of would do Scott Ackerman. Scott, Scott. So even before you knew me, you knew to mispronounce my last name, first of all. Akerman? Do your own research. Wait. Like I do with the vaccines. Ockerman is how it's pronounced.

But that's okay. We know each other a bit socially. We've been to one party together. We went to one party. We went to one party at the same time. Had a 30 second interaction. That you regretted from what I can tell. And you don't remember, which is pretty much a story of my life.

And by the way, it's like there's a possibility that at one time I did know what the A was doing in your last name. But one thing you can guarantee with me is that I will forget. That's okay. I'm going to try to pronounce you. I actually was going over it this morning saying, do I have it right? By the way. And that's because because I am Einbinder, those things. don't, those, oh, Hannah's what's giving you trouble?

Well, I can tell if it was Hanna or Hannah. Wow, you'd be the first to be thrown by the first name, actually, which is impressive. You're a trailblazer. Well, let's introduce you. She, of course, plays, I'm going to say Ava. Is it Ava? Ava. She plays Ava, Voyager, on the hit show Hacks, which is returning to Max.

Is it on HBO proper as well? Well, or... You know, who could ever really know? Who knows? With these conglomerates these days, what comes out where. Yeah. But it's returning for a fourth season on April 10th, wet day, of course. We'll talk about that.

Please welcome back to the show. Hannae, I'm by under. Hello. Hello, friend. Hello, this is my third time on here. You are welcome to the third time, three-timers club. The three-timers club. The three-timers club.

Who's the highest number? of times on here, I couldn't even tell you the highest number. All I can tell you is the more you're on, the worse your career seems to be doing. Because the one-timers club is where you want to be. That's Paul Rudd. That's Ben Stiller. That's Childish Gambino himself. Then the more you're on, just the more like available you are. Totally. Unfortunately. I have to be so honest with you. I really despise a podcast, but I just can't quit you. This one you love. I tell you, each time we reach out to your people, And you have so many people. But each time we reach out to your people to see if you'd like to be on, I get back a response of she's incredibly busy. I doubt this will work out. And then within 12 hours, you say yes, which is all, which I assume is coming from you personally, which is always very nice. Because I love it. And it's so fun.

And you always have awesome, amazing people on. And I love to hang. Wonderful. Well, let's get to your career. Sure. Turn the spotlight away from me. It's a strong word for it. Let's talk about, first of all, I mentioned wet day.

comes out on wet day. And what could that, what is that? It's a holiday, of course. It's not national yet, but we're trying to make it national holiday. It's April 10th. So it lands squarely on wet day. Is there going to be any sort of nod to that in the show? Are you going to be drenched at any points in the premiere? Wet day is a holiday for being moist. It's, it's, yeah, where people get as wet as they can possibly be. And who, where's this, where's this coming from? I wonder. Well, we, I'm Paula Tompkins and I created it. Maybe four years ago, and we celebrated every year. And we're trying to get, yes, wet day. Hmm. So I believe the reasoning behind it is people get drenched in practical jokes on April 1st, and then they have nine days to dry off, and then they want to be wet again. Oh, my God, I love that.

You know, I will run it up the corporate ladder. Please. I'll see if we can do kind of an activation around that. That would be really great. Yes, do some reshoots, too, for the premiere. We'll go back and we'll get a little knot in there. Yeah. That's great.

To hacks this year, of course, we all saw season three where it ended with, what's her name? Deborah. Yeah. Doing the unthinkable and not giving you the job. But still keeping you on staff. Yeah. And then you turning around and blackmailing her ass. Get her ass.

Get her. Yeah. And you're now the head writer on. her late night show. So I presume this season takes place within the late night wars. That's right. That's right.

We're, we've got cue cards. We've got pedcams. Cue card fans, you're covered. You are being served, okay? Representation matters, and we are here for you. I mean, the amount of cue cards in this fucking season.

Really? Yeah. Two? More. More? More. A lot of, you know, we do some montages.

I don't want to be no spoil anything, but the cue cards are heavily featured. Really? So it's like, Debra giving the monologue and then cutting to the cue card guy just like. It's Ava going. No, no, no. We're going to change that because we had a rewrite on it. Oh, sorry, you got to make that bigger. You know, it's just like kind of, you know, Q card business. We got a lot of that. Did you have to do any research in like how to be a late night writer on this? Did you like shadow the writers at SNL for. Oh, God. I didn't. I didn't. I just pretty much read the lines.

I did. Yeah. I would memorize the lines and say them aloud. That's kind of my tense to be the way I go. Yeah. Yeah. If you're hiring a Hannah on by Dunderker, she's going to read those lines. You're going to memorize them the day of or the day before? Oh, I actually, in all seriousness, I actually do try to be off book for the entire week. I believe that we talked about this on your last appearance. Don't you try to kind of, when you get the scripts for the entire season, you just try to like. I try to go through because you know what? It's just, you know, the shooting schedule is pretty tough on my body. I'm fragile. Really? In what manner? Like, you have to get up early at the end? Or? Well, I would say, well, you know, I'm there five days a week. And typically the days are like a job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is tough, obviously, on the spirit and soul. As a, you know, capitalism hopefully is on its way out. And that'll go with it. Thankfully, that would be so great where like you could just show up to your acting job and get the wage that everyone else gets. Yeah, of course. And stand in line for the bread. Yeah, of course. Yes.

Well, well, you know, it's 13 hours pretty much. That's the part that people don't know about is shooting. there's this phrase that I came up with when it comes to shooting television and film. And it's hurry up and also wait. Yes. And it takes a long time and you're sitting around and not just sitting around

if it's a fast-moving crew, you're shooting a lot. How many pages are you doing a day? Oh, my God, who could even know? I mean, we're all over the place for episode three, episode four, episode six. So you block shoot. Sometimes. Do you have different directors coming in

at different points in the day because they're doing episodes or do you try, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes, but typically it's just Paul and Lucia. Oh, they're directing most of the season. They direct most of the season, and then we'll have like a guest director. Who's doing it this year? Martin Scorsese.

I don't know if they've announced it yet, actually. Oh, really? Okay. I'd love to break it on this show. So go ahead. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, it's fine. Oh, okay. Apparently, Hannah is giving me the slashing her throat signal. She can't do it. Apparently she'll go against her people by being on this show, but that's as far as it goes. So does the entire season kind of take place in this? I mean, at this point, you started off as, in the series, you started off as a lowly comedy writer who couldn't get a job. And then now you're at the top of your profession.

You're the head writer of a late night show. Is that just the first episode and then the show gets canceled? or does the whole season take place? Well, yeah, there is an adversarial sort of dynamic at play between Ava and Deborah throughout a good chunk of the season, so that's... Because you guys have been adversaries in some seasons? You've been tighter than tight and others,

and it looked like you were the tightest at the end of season three, and then she pulled the old switcher-roo. She did. She absolutely betrayed me, and there will be being held to pay. Really? And don't take the insecure. in my voice for any sort of that it's going to be do you ever raise your voice to her you know i do which is hard for me because i'm pretty much i have pretty chill i'm yeah that's kind of my vibe

cali callie callie running through my veins callie speaking of which i want to get to we've talked about hacks enough yeah uh i want it's at on april 10 i want to talk about your wikipedia page uh oh um because we have of course the aforementioned uh basler or do you call it a bachelorette of fine arts when when you've gotten it how dare you I'll fucking dare you. We have a website that I clicked on. Uh-oh. Hannahinder.com.

Yeah. There is one section, home. And there are approximately four pictures on it. I think, you know, back in my early days when I had a bunch of shows around town and touring dates, I needed a... A lot more activity going on? I needed a domain. And, you know, my dad, was an early Apple nerd, and so he would go to Macworld.

And, you know, his email, I can't say it, but it's pretty simple. It's one of the simple at mac.com emails that... Really? Like gym at Mac.com? I wouldn't go that far, but it's in that range. Because I'm not seeing his name on your... Oh, here it is. Yes, I got it. He made that website for me very, very young. I mean, the pictures are gorgeous.

Not that anyone's going to take Hannaeinbinder.com. But make sure you reserve that. We also have, okay, so I'm going to skip down to personal life. Uh-oh. There's three things. Okay. No, sorry, four. Four things.

You reside in Los Angeles, California. That's a fact. And I hope to die here. Not specific enough for me. Yeah. Reside is a problem. No, reside is good because I love to hear that you reside somewhere, that you're not just living somewhere. I can't help but reside, actually.

That's a problem. But Los Angeles is too big. Like, I need to narrow this down. Well, for my safety. would hope that you wouldn't. Oh, okay. All right. I don't want anyone to know.

I'm buying yours bisexual. Yeah, for sure. It's too personal. That should be under like too personal of a life. I don't think so. I disagree. You think that should be out there. Yeah, I let my freak flag fly.

All right. You have ADHD. No doubt. No doubt. So all of these are ones. One's about where you live. One's about your. How I live.

How you live. One's about what is in the way of you living. And then I'm not sure if this is really equitable to the other three. but you are a longtime supporter of the Philadelphia Eagles. That is important. That's very important. So that belongs up there. This is actually a really incredible picture of kind of my vibe, I think.

Tell me about the Super Bowl this year. What were you doing? Oh, my God. How excited were you what was going on? Thank you for asking this question. No other podcast is going to ask you about this. No, they're not. And I'm here to, this is why I say yes when they say, don't do it.

I want to hear everything, by the way, like leading up to it, the anticipation. Oh, yeah, I've got a story for you. So my dad and I, there's a bar that we frequent in Santa Monica. By the way, can I interject one second? Yeah. Why do you like the Eagle so much? Well. Because you're from Los Angeles.

I am. We've established that. You went to college. Your page says Chapman University in Orange County. Go Panthers. Mm-hmm. Do you want to, oh. Okay.

Okay. Some Chapman fans in the house. Some Panthers in the house. I went to a concert there once. You did? Go ahead. What did you see? I believe the Vandals played there.

Oh. Huh. Punk band. Anyway, go ahead. So my dad's from Philly, and my dad had a very strong connection to the Eagles through his father. And really, that's really all sports are, is just wanting to be near your dad and watching him go through a full specter of emotions. That's kind of what that's about. Because dads traditionally don't go through many emotions.

Yeah, but this is a setting where, I mean, you just can't imagine. 2018, we did this something similar to what we did this year when the Eagles. won the Super Bowl. And my dad at one point was crying and did point to the sky and say, this one's for you, dad. So that's, that is what happened and that's true about what happened. And I think that that sums up why I'm invested. Yeah. So this is a way to connect to your father.

I love that. For sure. Do you guys go to games together or have you ever been to a game together? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, we grew up going to games in Philly. My dad's dad had season tickets. And they've been passed down.

They're kind of like, you know, high up there. But they've been passed down. And we don't live in Philly. So they went to, you know, my cousins over there. And so whenever we would go back, we would, we would at the, at the link, Lincoln Financial. Sure. Yeah, you're like, I believe you. I have no choice but to believe you.

Take your word for it. Bald face lying to me. Yeah. But, but yeah. So this year we went to our favorite Eagles bar, which is a very strict green. only environment. Okay. So if you were to come in, I forget who they played this year, but, oh, Kansas City, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the look on Taylor Swift's face when her man lost. You can see her calculating how much longer do I stay in this relationship. She's from Philly.

She's from Philly. Yeah. Traderess. I know, I can't believe it. Tratrous. Yeah. So if you were to come in in Kansas City colors, which I believe are red and maybe yellow or something to that effect, or like wielding a tomahawk, why is that team still? I don't. You know, who knows. Anyway, but if you were to come into that bar doing that, you would get, what would happen? You can't come in. You just, they wouldn't even allow you. You're turned away, yes. Wow.

Yeah. Okay. And this is in Los Angeles. Santa Monica, California. So there's a bar for like everything. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Eagles fans. A lot of, a lot of Philly fans in California, especially because, you know, L.A., we didn't have a sports, a football team for many years. Right. So people had to kind of just pick. Right. Right. And so, so the bar opened at 10. We got there at eight.

Is there a line? There started a line when we got there. And we got there at 8. And to get in on Super Bowl Sunday, you had to have come two days prior to get passes. Oh, okay. It's a small bar. So let me ask you, the passes guaranteed entry. Yes.

So why come two hours early to get a good seat? Good table. Got to get that good table upstairs. Is it just the two of you? Just the two of us. Okay. So you want a two-top. We wanted two, well, we wanted two taught, but we're happy to make friends, and we always do.

Let me tell you something. By the end of the night, I was in a group chat with a family. Okay. Okay, I heard their whole story. Okay. The girls are texting me. Okay. Three kids. They're all queer. Their dad was a pastor. He left the church because the church didn't accept his kids and moved him out to L.A. What great family? Let's be in a group chat. Yes, I love this. Text me. Here's my number. This is how available you are to. To the people out there in these streets. 100%. So we line up at 8.

We get in at 10. The game doesn't start till 3.30. Can you want to see the anthem? Look, you know, we get in there. We're seated. We're fucking exhausted already when we walk it. It was just so weak. This is like a full day of shooting on hacks.

No, I'm telling you. You know, first of all, it's grueling work for all involved. Well, first of all, to stand up in a line for two hours. I don't even like that part of it. You know what I mean? I'm in a down. Eagles poncho. I've been walking, pacing Santa Monica. Wait, was it raining that day? I can't recall.

It wasn't raining. Okay, I want all the details. Yeah. Okay. It wasn't raining. But, you know, we're by the beach, so we got that marine layer. There's a chill. There's a chill in the air. Okay, this is good intel. Crisp sea chill. Okay.

And so we get in there and we're, you know, look, chicken fingers in the morning. That's what they got. I mean, I can't imagine they would serve any kind of breakfast food. No. No, absolutely not. So chicken fingers, that's great. And, you know, people start to trickle in. And there's a table next to us.

So there was no line. Nope. People are now trickling in. Well, here's the thing about my father and thus me. We are always prepared for battle, kind of. Like the airport is a battleground. The bar is a battleground. Like we are planners and we are, all right, look, we got to get there 645.

Like 645 early as that's my dad is super. That's my RECO. You know, we get there 645, we spread out. Look, so we're early. I'd rather be early than late. We need to get that table because look, the back support for a game like this. I mean, we're in it for the long haul. So what are we doing?

Is there a world where you could have breezed in at 3.30 and still gotten in and gotten in OK table? God, I wish this podcast was video. You should see the look I'm getting Scott. You are befuddled by this question. You're aghast. You're horrified at the mere intimation that you would come that close to the game. 3.30? we're going to miss all the commentary.

What are you thinking, Scott? Get your head in the fucking game. Was the commentary really worth it when you were watching? Was it good commentary? Did it prepare you? I want to watch both teams warm up. I want to watch all the old footballers who are now the announcers do the tush push in the middle of New Orleans. I want to watch all of that.

I need all of that. You know, I need the pregame. And, you know, this game was really. symbolically, this game, and I have a theory about this. You know, the world has never been worse, Scott. I don't have to tell you that. I mean, I think there are certain pockets of the world. I mean, you know, they only invented indoor plumbing, you know, 100 or seven years ago.

Yes, but I would say that the, I would say that the issue of climate change has accelerated the state of the world to arguably have never been worse. But I think the years where the dinosaurs and the humans were there together right after Adam and Eve. sure yes was there those were probably bad for humans i would say they were okay so let's say the the world is what like three thousand years old yeah um let's talk after the pod okay i want to talk to you about some stuff i'd love to i have some literature for you too okay okay okay yeah okay yeah me too likewise okay likewise same well just like point literature at each other yeah yeah yeah that'll fix it that's typically how it works and that's how people grow but yeah so how do we get there anyway anyway the culture i think is it is it a beautiful uh point

in response to how horrifying the world is. And frankly, you know, so many of the Kansas City Chiefs players have let us down in this time. You know, the Kansas City Chiefs players, Patrick Mahomes, that's the quarterback. He was saying that he would, you know, be pleased to have President Trump come and watch him play football. You know, Travis Kelsey, frankly, said the same. And so this was spiritually, this game was, you know, symbolized kind of kind of look, I'll say a good and evil. This is a war of ideologies. Absolutely.

Yeah. Absolutely. And to you, the Philadelphia Eagles. Eagles are good. You're damn right. By the way, in 2018 and this year, during both of Trump's presidencies, the Philadelphia Eagles have declined to appear at the White House. I believe they agreed to go this time.

No. I believe, I'm going to look this up. I hate to throw you off your game, but. No, you got to look this up. I believe I saw a headline about that. Did you? Because I saw one that said that they declined to go. That was early, but, well, uh, well, uh,

I see one week ago, date for Philadelphia Eagles visit to White House after Super Bowl. No. What, L-I-X? What the fuck is this? 59? 509. 59. Yeah, 59.

We're 10 away. What news source is this? This is CBS News, so I don't know whether I trust the lame stream media on this. Okay, well. What do we need to go to, the Philadelphia Eagles.com? We need to go to call my dad and see what's up. Maybe. Is there any universe where he's.

been keeping this information from you. Definitely. Yeah. I'm his baby girl. Yeah. He needs to protect me. Of course, yes. Okay, well, that's really disappointing and I don't stand with that.

Maybe they're not all going. I have to imagine they're not all going. There's bad apples in every barrel. Of course. Look. The point is that they declined in 2018, which I'm stoked about. This I am disappointed about and I will be reaching out to, you know, whoever I can. Sure.

Through HBO. Yes. Yes. Through Warner Brothers. I'll walk up the max last. ladder and ring the bell. But the point is, you know, this was a, this was a blowout. This was a blowout victory for the birds.

The first three plays, weren't they like interceptions and running back for touchdown? It was, it was ludicrous. Yeah. It was a huge, it wasn't it like 183 to nothing at one point? It, well, the final score, I believe, was 40, 41 to 22. So close. Yeah. But that's, and that's like really outrageous.

Right. So it just, it was a great, it was a trouncing. Yes. And you were, you were there where you like, I would imagine a cheer came out of your lips at least once? Oh, I'm screaming. I'm absolutely sending out blood curdling screams. I'm chest bumping a man. I don't know. I'm swirling beads in the air. I'm, you know, cheering on someone's mom who's gotten on the pool table who's kind of, you know, ripping her jersey off and twirling it around her head. I mean, it's mayhem. It's absolutely. I love this. And these are special times with your father. Absolutely. I love that. Undoubtedly so. Now, do you agree with me? Yes. I was talking about this. I'm glad. I was talking about this on a previous episode where the part where the guy takes the football, this is at the start of each play.

And then he's forced to like throw it through his legs while he's bending over. That's emasculating, right? He should just turn around and throw it to the quarterback, right? I think this brings up a larger question of what masculinity is to you, Scott. That's a good point. But I just, I think a sport where, like, it doesn't, it doesn't start until a guy just, like, bends over and throws something through his legs, granny style. Well, you know, Jenny Slate actually has a really great joke about this where she says. She's in the one-timers club, I believe.

She's in the one-time. Well, look, I can't relate. Can't relate. Couldn't be me. I'm here for the third time. Yeah, and I chose to do that. But she says, like, they all wear a costume and throw around the toy, which I think is funny. Yeah. So it definitely is like a silly game. It's silly. And I think, I also think that the quarterback, if I were to change the rules, the quarterback should throw to the end zone every play, should be forced to.

Yeah. Like all or nothing every single time. Okay. I mean, yeah, that's, that's why I do you? Yeah. It sounds like heresy to you. You're shocked. You don't like it. You like the game as it is. I like plays. I like creative plays. I like a. hand off. I like a little sneak. I like, you know, get the ball to Sequin. He's going to do a little bit of weaving. You know what I mean? I think it's okay to hand the ball off to someone as long as if they don't make it into the end zone, then the game is forfeit. Okay. So, yeah, it's just maybe not your,

maybe you'll stick to like this sort of a thing and I want to start my own league is what I'm saying. I need investors. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Good luck. Good luck. I wish you luck. Thank you so much. Well, Hacks, of course, is out on Wet Day. We all know what this means. We need to take a break. We have a great show. Coming up a little later, we have, you're going to be very invested in this. We have a football coach is coming up next.

Yes. Oh, my God. We have a football coach. We also have a businesswoman or a business person. Oh, my God. Two people who make the world go round. This is exciting. This is a great episode of Comedy Bang Bang.

I'm so happy you're here for it. We're going to be right back with more Hanan. Binder and we have a coach and we have a businesswoman. This is a great show. Stick around. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We are back.

Of course, we're here with Haney. Einbinder. Inbinder. Inbinder of Hacks fame. Hacks is coming out on wet day, April 10th. And you also got to be on that Saturday Night Live show introducing the band, right? Didn't you? Did I see you there?

Ladies and gentlemen, jelly roll. Yeah, I'm actually not of Hacks fame. I'm of Ladies and Gentlemen, Jelly Roll fame. Do you ever say that when you go out to breakfast? I'll say it in the mirror late at night. Ladies and gentlemen, jelly roll. Jelly roll. It's, I don't know if you're a jelly roll fan or...

I wish him well is how I feel. Yes, that's how I feel too. It's like, God bless whatever it is. you do. Yeah. But uh, uh, do you ever wish that, that you could have gotten someone you really loved or, you know what I'm saying?

Like, like where you, you, or do you wish that you got the weekend? And that way you could have been like Daniel Craig, you know, who's like every Friday people post him saying, ladies gentlemen, the weekend. Wow. Um, or perhaps ladies and gentlemen her. Her. Yes. You know,

No, no, I, we, I, I, I, I actually want it to have been chely roll, actually. It's always funny when someone is introducing a band that they would never, like when, when Patrick Stewart was there saying, ladies and gentlemen, salt in pepper, was my favorite. Yeah, that's a good one. Something they would never say. Anyway, that's a wonderful thing to have happened. It was cute. Yeah, you should host next time. You're sweet. I mean the next episode, whatever the next episode is. I'll go, I'll drive there now. Yeah. So what is it?

Five day trip? Yeah, whatever. Drive there, go on there, do that. Sure. No problem. Well, we need to get to our next guest. I mentioned he is a football coach. This is his second appearance.

He's in the two-timers club, which means his career is doing slightly better than Hannes. Let's welcome him back. He was a player for the Dallas Cowboys where he won eight Super Bowls. Please welcome Dion Sanders. Scott, let me ask you something. Let me tell you something, Scott. Hey, what's up?

I don't know what you came to do, but I came to have some fun to date. Okay, great. I thought you came to do that, too. I was going to tell you that. I came to clap my hand. I came to stomp my feet, and I came to find some dogs. You haven't done any of the three at this point. I see some dogs here, Scott.

Hannah, are you a dog? Did you hear our first segment? Hannah was talking a lot about football. Scott, I heard a little bit of them. I heard a little bit of them. So you didn't like saying, ladies gentlemen, jelly roll? I did, actually, I think. You did like doing that.

I think her boy was great. Yeah, I did. I kind of liked it. I think you had the exact wrong takeaway. You know what you should have said. What? Ladies and gentlemen, Shabuzzi. Oh, my God.

Deion Sanders is a big fan of Shaboozy. Oh, I love Shaboozy. Shut up. Can I tell you actually, and this is serious, Mr. Sanders. I... Tell me, Mrs. Sanders. Okay, no problem. And you join a lot.

long line of Mr. Sanders is that I just frankly love. Sure. The Colonel? So I have to... Although you would call him Colonel. I would probably put Bernie before the Colonel, but... They're equitable to be. Yeah, look. They're similar... Old guys, white hair. Yeah. They're equatorial to me. Andy... White suits.

Little black ribbon ties. Shibuzi actually, his first music video, when I was in college, a bunch of kids at my film school produced it, and I was the girl in his first music video. You're kidding. You're in the first Shibuzi video? Yes.

This is huge news. It was taken down because he illegally sampled something that he didn't have the rights to. And so it was taken down. But we saw each other recently at a party. And we were like, ah. Really? You saw Shaboozy in a party. You were the first Shabuzi video vix.

That's right. Wally. Well, I told him, Scott, look at it. Look, won't he do his guy? Yeah. What did you just say? I said, won't he do it? Won't he do it, yes.

I'm talking about Colonel Sanders in the sky. Of course. You like those seven spices? Seven plus five. No, simple as well. Is it 11, really? It's 11 original herbs and spices. It's really.

Did it start out as 11 or did he add four at a certain point? Wait, am I wrong? I have no idea. And can we, while we're at it, discuss how many are in Dr. Pepper? Because I know that that's also sort of a 56. 23. 23. And that's prunes, right?

It starts off from prunes. Are you serious? I think it's the only prune soda, I believe. You're kidding me. Prunes keep irregular. In fernol. In KFC. How many spices?

11 herbs. 11. Maybe I'm just thinking of the spice number because this is 11 herbs and spices. So I wasn't wrong. Sure. Let's name them in order of importance. Salt. They keep them salt.

It's got to be salt. That's the majority. Garlic. Paprika. Paprika. Onion. Onion. Cardamom.

Cardamom. Cardamom. Crosby, steals. Nash. Hall, Oates. Dion. I'm sorry. Coach Sanders.

or Colonel Sanders, which you prefer. Please, tell me, Mr. Sanders. Mr. Sanders. Last time you were on, you were talking about you coach a college football team that you're So Colorado Buffaloes, we coming, Scott. I need dogs. You do need some dogs because you were saying your son is leaving the team. He's leaving the team.

He's going to the NFL. Who's he playing for? We don't know yet. Congrats. Do you hope he plays for the Philadelphia Eagles? I do not, Scott. Who do you hope he plays for? Oh, we played for New Orleans Saints, Scott.

I like that city in New Orleans, Okay, but what about the Dallas Cowboys? Because that's where you made your fame and fortune. Not necessarily. Wasn't there some sort of rumor that you were going to go coach at Dallas or something? Scott, there's a lot of rumors. Look at all these rumors surrounding me every day. I just need some time.

I make social club, of course. What do you do for you, Mr. Sanders? What do for me? I'll tell you, Anna, I watch a lot of television. And that's what I wanted to talk to Scott about today. Scott. Oh, okay. Great.

You've seen the show, Emily and Paris. Do you mean Emily in Paris? Yeah, whatever you want to go. It's supposed to rhyme, I believe. Emily and Paris? You seen that, Scott? I have to confess, I have not. I'm a big fan of Lily Collins' father, which doesn't know.

I mean, Hannah, you, of course, Nepo baby, a poulter child. Am I? I think so. Okay. I mean, your mother worked for Saturday Night Live. You said, ladies and gentlemen, jelly roll. Yeah, that is the, the, the, the, the, the, ratio of power actually.

That's like that is actually represented. Yeah, of what of my poll. But Lily Collins, of course, big fan of her father, Phil Collins. Her father,

McCallie Cockens. Oh, wait, that's Phil Collins' daughter. That's Phil Collins' daughter, man, I can feel that in the air tonight. Okay. I did not know that. Kind of just put me on something, man.

It's time of social club. Look at all this air surrounding me every night. night. I can feel it. So you're a big fan of Emily in Paris? Man, come on, Scott. She got that damn beret on her head. I was like, girl, what you doing in Paris?

Come back over here because I need dogs. Is that the first scene? Wait, you want her to come back here because you need dogs? Come back to America because I need some dogs. And I can see how you wearing a beret in Paris and he was a dog. Shout out of Jelly Row, man. I don't even know what she's American and goes over there and then lives there. I mean, how is this the plot to a show?

She's American, so she's American fashion writer, you know? Okay. She writes for fashion. You know, she tells you, what's she do? She don't do that? Who knows? It's all speculation. She knew something and they take over there, uh, parents to do it over there.

Like, our show is what shows are now? Hax, this is a good idea for a show. Thank you. You know, a stand-up comedian who, uh, uh, I don't know, go into the details. Just like that. Can I, can I suggest a name? change to hacks. Let's hear it. Let's call it dogs. Yes. Honestly, that's a adept suggestion. Ladies and the gentleman was again, jelly roll. A couple dogs right there.

That's a good episode right there, yeah, GeneSmart and Jelly Roll. I would love that. Two J's, I love that. They should do more stuff. You and Shibuzzi, Gene Smart Jelly Roll. Yeah. This is like a good forsome. This is a music festival in, in Tucson. Yes. This is what South by Southwest needs to evolve into. They're coming their second weekend, of course. And they added luggage fees. Is that sad? Bags don't fly free no more himself by myself.

Where does I tell you that? Any other shows you're watching? Yeah, Scott. Come on now. You ever heard this fabulous Miss Maisel? There's a show about comedy, too. I should check that one out. Yeah, Hax is sort of the spiritual successor, right?

To the fabulous Mrs. Maisel. Oh, certainly. Oh, undoubtedly. She paved the way. Mrs. Maisel walked. So Brent, what's her name? So Deborah Vance could run. Could drive a golf cart.

A lot of golf carts in your show. You're right. Yeah. Yeah, there was that episode last season. Golf. Did you get busy with, who was it? Oh, you get busy on the show? I did, yeah.

Oh, this season is really. Really? You have more sexual interactions on the show? It's true. Oh, I love this. Yeah. Who was it the last time? It was Christina Hendricks.

Christina Hendrix that for madmen Yeah this is my last life for sure I'm not coming back Two redheads Yeah that's what they say Yeah exciting Now was there intimacy coordinator for that There was

Because I would like to apply for the job You can do this on the side Right Intimistic coordinator By the way you have as much qualifications As most To be so frank All right now

Okay Don't nobody be touching nobody When they don't want to be touched You got that You ask for every touch in the scene. It's in the scene. We're going to do a little improv. That's what people doing

love scenes love to hear. We're going to do a little improv. We're going to do a little improv. Okay, robs off, girls. Robs off, ladies, let's go. Robs off. Somebody grab that baby all over there. All right.

Don't nobody touch nobody when they don't want to be touched, all right? You got that. Okay. This is good. Action. You got it. Action, really? That's the extent of it.

The director's like. Can we get him? Can we, sorry. Can I say action? Yeah. I mean, this is a good job. Do you only want to do it for Christina Hendricks and Hannah here? Don't make me a creep, God.

I'm going to do for a lot of people, man. Emily and Paris. Whenever he's needed, he'll be there. That's right. We'll just shine the Dion Sanders signal. Just in the shape of a dog. And a dog. Uh-oh.

Somebody needs some intimacy and coordination. This needs to turn into a cartoon. What other TV shows you've been watching? Oh man, that fabulous Ms. Maisel. Emily and Paris. You watch that show The Pit? I have not seen The Pit. I thought it was about Brad Pitt for a while.

I thought it was about Doug. So we were both wrong, though. It turns out it's Noah Wiley in the, in, from what I'm hearing from the lawsuits, was originally intended to be an ER reboot. Yeah. And then segued in. to nothing to do with ER at all once they couldn't get the right.

It's about a hospital, man. Them doctors are dogs in there. They're healing people, Scott. Because today, in today's world, we need healing. Yes. We need hospitals. Yes. Scott, do you believe in universal health care?

I don't know that my views on it would be earth-shattering at all, so why don't we just ask your views? I believe in universal health care, international health care, intergalactic health care. Yeah. Intergalactic. You see these people come back from Earth. Yes. I mean, come back to Earth.

Yes. Like the people trapped up in the NASA's space station and all that. They finally home. Yeah. Bring our dogs home. There are their muscles, their muscle tone is withered. Yeah. They're emaciated.

We'll put them on a meal plan. Get them back. Yeah. And they'll be ready for next season. And this is part of universal intergalactic health care to you. Mm-hmm. What were you saying, huh? Well, oh, just.

Thank you, Scott. Well, I was just saying that they may be puppies now, but when we're through, they're going to be dogs. That's right. You already know what I'm talking about. I like you. Are you trying to get into acting? Who?

You, Dion. I'm not talking, Hannah's already there. I didn't business himself. Yeah, where were you in? On an episode of Living single? Playing yourself? Playing myself, man. Okay, that doesn't count.

Playing yourself doesn't count. Yeah, I was a heightened version of myself. I like her of your enthusiasm? What else? ever played a character? Me. I am talking to you right now. I have heard it.

I played me. I played me. Oh, you played you. Some of you consider me a character. Yeah. I think it's hard when you have a body like yours and you're so tall and so big, you know. It was the problem the rock had for a long time, you know, and the problem Kumail has now. Yeah, too sexy.

Too sexy. Too sexy for television. Yeah, that's the thing. You can't play like a normal schlub, you know. Like Hannah over here, she's playing like a comedy writer who can't get work, you know. Yeah, I can't imagine Dionne Sanders here, you know, of course. Believing that from you because I would just say,

oh, just go play football. You know, I could play a comedy writer on television. For sure. Let's improvise a scene as comedy writers. Oh, great. Okay. Hey, did you get the rewrites for the monologue today? I got the rewrites.

All right? I got the rewrites, but what I need to know is what we have for lunch today. Oh, we, yeah, I think it's sweet. I don't want no more sell it. Okay, well, I was going to say, I think it's sweet green, but I... Again! Yeah, I just, we have a deadline, so I was just wondering if you, you always eating sweet green. Yeah.

I want barbecue. We could, I mean, I guess we could look into that, but I just, yeah, I think maybe, do you know if there's going to be a chance for you to look at the, at the rewrites? I got them. They all my desk. Oh, okay, great. But I was some barbecue. Okay, I'm just going to stop it right here. First of all, sub in Al-Wazir, and this is exactly Mr. Show every single day.

but Dion, you're in a position of power, it seems, over Hannah's character. No, she's my boss in this. I think he's an eccentric employee. I see. But why do you need him to check the rewrites, then, if you're... Because I assign them to him.

For him to check them? Or for him to... What is he doing with these rewrites? Yeah, he's sort of... He's sort of punching them up, yeah. Punching them up. You got to see... You got to continue to see these guys.

Say action. Other, okay, action. Okay. Did you get a chance to punch up the rewrites that I sent you? Hey, what are you at Christina Hendrix doing that? All right, cut, cut, cut. Okay. I don't know.

It is pretty much like being in a writer's room, to be honest. That's the accuracy. We got sweet green. We got harassment. We got somebody doing their job wrong. We got it all. 99% accuracy in regards. To the rewrites.

Yeah, I want to talk about the rewrites. Okay, you want to talk about the rerights? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, actually. Kibb. Okay. Okay, so, yeah, for the monologue, I was thinking that perhaps we went in a different direction away from talking about, you know, the story with the Swiss banks just because I think that a lot of people are going to be covering that. So I was just wondering if you had anything, anything there or maybe perhaps a pitch on a different topic that could be kind of more international.

Absolutely. Yeah. I do have that. More international? Yeah. International healthcare. care. I want to talk about that. Okay. Yeah. Swiss banks

is in Switzerland. Right. Interpol is in Sweden. Okay. You picking the way I'm putting down? I'll take your word for it. All right. It's the barbecue almost here yet. Hey, excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but the show goes live in 30 seconds. Do we have the rewrites or, you know, we need to switch it to the international, you know, do we have any of this? Oh, we, by the way, I'm just a PA.

Oh, okay. I, I do, we do. Who's in charge here? I can't quite figure it out. How can you not tell who is in charge? Clearly, this woman is my boss. You seem subservient to him. Yeah. But maybe it's just your tone? Yeah, I don't know.

Tell him you my boss. Tell them you my boss. Okay, well, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. Speak up. Sorry, I'm his, we collaborate. I'm his. You collaborate? Yeah, well, I just, I'm kind of like. Are you in a position of power here? Um, is Christina Hendry's coming to the show to me.

I'm really scared. And I just feel like. We're going to be live soon. We're on. We're on. Ladies and gentlemen, shiboos. Great scene. Wow.

Okay. Yeah, I think this is good. I think it's great. Can you guys tell? I think Dion could be on Hacks. A hundred percent. Just playing a normal comedy writer. Who's very concerned with eating barbecue.

Like all comedy writers. You got to have good lunch. All right. Well, let's get Dion on Hacks. We need to start a hashtag Dion on Hacks. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we have a business. person. This is very exciting. Dion,

can you stick around? Scott, I got to go. You got to go? No, come on. Stick around. No, yeah. I'll stay. All right. We're going to come right back. We'll have more Hannah Einbinder, more Dionne Sanders, and a businesswoman. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang, bang, bang. We're back. We have Hannah Einbinder here of hacks, which, of course, I get a Google alert every day for hacks, because I'm wondering if I'm popping up on the latest list of all.

Hollywood accent. Oh my God. But it starts the fourth season on wet day, and, which is a Thursday this year. Wet day falls on a Thursday. Oh, shoot. Damn it. What's going on your head? You're going to be too wet on Friday. You're drying off. You'd just like to be wet on a weekend as all. Yeah, that's a good point. You'd like to, if you were being, to be wet, you'd like for it to be on the weekend. Those holidays that fall on the weekend, though, then it feels like you're getting ripped off because, you know, like when Fourth of July is on a weekend, you're like, I really would rather this be on Monday or Friday so I get a three-day weekend. Yeah, but I mean, has wet day broken through in that way? It's not officially recognized, but it's storming the nation.

Pun intended. Okay. In Storm. We also have Dion Sanders here, who... Ladies and gentlemen, wet on the weekend. We need to get to our next guest. This is exciting. They're joining the incredible one-timers club.

Please welcome to the show. They're a businesswoman. Please welcome Abby Spot. Hi. Wow. I don't normally do this kind of thing. But I'm so happy. I'm really happy to be here.

I feel just like an immediate connection with you, Mr. Sanders. Oh. All right now. I'm just really picking up what you're putting down. Oh, okay. Well, it's great to have you. When you say you don't normally do this kind of thing, what do you mean? So I'm a psychic, but I'm sorry.

I thought you were a business woman. Well, I'm looking for clients. Oh, okay. So I'm really here to promote my business. An unsuccessful businesswoman. No, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that. Do you currently have clients?

Not one client, but I'm looking for clients. You're a future business woman. I'm a future. Listen, I'm... Do you have an LLC? No. I don't have an LLC. Here's the thing with me.

I'm so uncomfortable in this chair. You're uncomfortable in chair. I'm so uncomfortable in this chair. I wish that I could like, I don't know, be under the table or around your feet because I guess it's, no, let me just tell you. I'm a little unusual just because for the past 11 lives, I've been a dog. And this is my first year. I need this. This is my first life as a human.

Oh my gosh. Congratulations. So I'm mostly a pet psychic, but I can also read people too. but I just, it's different. Yeah. Things are different. Do you, do you remember or recall being a dog? Honestly, that's mostly what I remember.

Really? Yeah. I'm having a little bit of trouble transitioning as human thing. Yeah, what kind of dog were you in your past? 11, you say? Uh-huh. Well, oh, that's the number of herbs and spices that KFC has. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. I've had taste of that. Oh, that's a lucky dog. That's a true. A lucky dog. Or a clumsy owner. I, I just was so. So attached to this idea of, uh, of intimacy coordinator.

Yeah. Oh, really? So was Dion. You guys, huh, are so bonkers up here. I mean, like, on this level, because I'm telling you, the asshole is really where all the data is. Yeah, that's where, I mean, uh, also the pee from what I understand. Like, uh, because dogs, when they go on their walks, they smell other dogs pee. Absolutely.

To learn information about them. It's sort of like the gossip magazine. It's like TMZ for dogs. 100%. And so it's really uncomfortable when everybody closes the door. Yeah. Because I feel like I'm just missing so much information. I don't really know how to, like, I'm, you know, this is not about me as a human.

You know, I want to read, I'm going to give you guys all reading and really, like, get to know you. But to be honest, the psychic part of it is interesting. You could read us or whatever. I'm fascinated by learning what it's like to be a dog. Oh. I need those. Oh, yeah. You are human now, so therefore you are useless to me.

What kind of dogs are you talking about? Dogs, man. This guy was a dog in my life. You have to be, Dion. I mean, come on now. This life, too. It's still in me. But the rules, the human rules of consent and all that,

dogs don't have that. They just take what they want. Kids now are like eating ass. We've been eating ass for years. We've mentioned it. I don't know. It's like I'm not impressed. But I am a little uncomfortable with so much arm skin and leg skin.

It's like put on a coat. Yeah, yeah. You're cold. I put on a coat, it's cold. It's just like it feels a little vulgar. Yeah. Yeah. Is that the main difference is the amount of arm skin?

Well, leg too. Leg too. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Sure. I mean, that's the other thing. You have arms now. I do have arms. I do have arms.

Instead of four legs. Mm-hmm. What does that like? It's, you know, a little clumsy. But, listen, I'm not a dog. I'm not. I'm coming off crazy. Like, I'm not a dog.

I'm a woman. Obviously, like, I was reincarnated as a human. Sure, yeah. How old of a woman are you currently? Well, I'm 30, but I feel like 200 and 10. You feel four, probably, four and a half. Because it's seven years, dog years. And it's got you, food.

Thanks, Ian. I've been, listen, I don't do math. Yeah, I would imagine. More of an instinctual. Yeah. I gravitate. Dogs don't do math, right? Like they just, they want all of everything, right?

It's not like, oh, there's two chicken breasts. No, I want all of this. Infinite. No. I teach my dog's portion control. Is that so? How do you do that? What?

You just kind of lay it. I let them know. That's all you're getting. Be satisfied. Oh, so you're determining the portions. You're not just putting out a large tin of something and they're deciding how much they eat. That's not really teaching them anything. Now, in terms of just because, you know, there was a business proposal brought up

in terms of investing. Yeah. I'm curious. I also have my business proposal, which you did not choose to invest in my different league for football. Hannah seems pretty interested in my idea. I don't remember, but I, it's possible. It was merely 40 minutes ago. Yeah, it's tough for me.

Scott, do you have cats? When you live in the moment. I do not have cats. Don't worry. I'm getting a cat vibe from you. Maybe I was a cat in a different life. I mean, people worshipped cats back in ancient Egypt. Oh, tracks.

Well, they had dogs sleep. their bed. I don't know whether, Dion, do you have previous lives? I, I've never really investigated. You know what? I ain't investigated it either. I mind the business that pays me. So I don't know what I was doing back then, but I hope it was good. Oh, I can tell it was good. Oh, okay. What are you seeing with Dion? Oh my God, I'm seeing a king. Read me. Read me. Read me to fill. I'm seeing some sort of, I'm seeing some sort of big, big, uh, tree. Oh, I'm seeing a king. Wait, he was a tree or he, or he, I'm seeing he peed on a tree. Oh, that's a dog.

A big tree. That's cool. I'm seeing a lot of fancy collars. I'm seeing a lot of bling. Was I a rock wilder? Please tell me I was a rock wilder. I think you were a cute. I think you're confusing the record label with.

Please tell me I was a Rockefeller. Rock Nation. I know. I don't feel like I'm being a little vulgar and I'm not trying to be, but I'm having a hard time dating. Right. I don't think that's vulgar. at all. Actually, you didn't say a curse word? I don't know if that's disgusting or not.

Listen, I, when I was a dog, nobody just comes out and shows you their red rocket. And so I don't know who's interest. You are always a female dog? My last, my last two. Oh, so your previous nine, you have the Red Rocket. Yeah. Okay. Easy to show, easy to receive, easy to, easy to know.

Right. Yeah, it's, I mean, honestly, it's hard. I think that's the other thing. If people acted more like dogs, dating would be easier. That's how I feel. Yeah. And that's why I think my perspective on your lives can help so much. I think a dog, oh, I changed my business.

I changed my business. Wait, this is unprecedented. You're changing your business in the middle of your segment? You know what? I think this is where I would shine. I want to be a dog dating advice service. Dog dating advice service. So you're giving advice to humans who want to date dogs?

No. The way of the dog. Okay, I've got this completely wrong. The way the dog, I use my knowledge of being a dog to help you guys date. So you're giving advice to humans who want to date other humans, but do it with the philosophy of a dog. I love this. All right. So Hannah, are you out there in these streets?

I'm single. You're single. Yeah. All right. So this is perfect. Yeah. So now we know you were a plant, you were a dog, you were a cat. Yeah.

That answer sounded like, Scott, you're about to get her in trouble. I'm single, but there's certainly a woman I'll be getting married to make every phone call after she hears this. So this is good. This is really good. So what kind of advice would you give to Hannah who's out there in these streets night after night? Yeah.

Searching for someone, anyone, to love her. Lay it on thick, will you? Okay. So first off, we got to start sniffing each other. Okay. Do you do that, Hannah, when you're out there on a date? Oh, sense memory is very important. Sense memory.

Yeah, well, the nose is a direct channel to the brain. Of course. Occasionally, you'll smell an aroma that will take you back decades even to something that happened to you as a young child. Absolutely. And the heart is a direct channel to the stomach. And the eyes are a window to the soul. Yeah. And the tongue is the junk.

Licks stuff. Licks. You lick was up with it. Yeah. Yeah. So the first thing would be to smell. So first thing to smell. Okay.

Then I would go up, I think for most people, it's all about the asshole. that's where the data is we've talked about that is this first date though I mean I know it is for dogs but okay is this first date this is first date this is first date alone obviously can the ass will be symbolic is there a way to kind of explore that in a way that isn't as direct you know what I mean sure is there is there a way the mouth I guess you got I guess the assail of the face the asshole of the face sort of a reverse asshole so I guess sometimes you're bristing a whole ass We call it. It is, can I just really quickly break in to say, you're telling me we have a big hole in our head and we put food in it.

It's crazy when you think about it. Don't, like, that's really crazy. And shouldn't it come out the same hole, like just for, like, not sanity, sanitary purposes. You know what I mean? And say it's got to go all the way down through our body and travel around and then go out a different hole. It's just, you're telling me we're putting derrille. does in the face hole. And in what way was that ever the plan for us?

I know. It's driving me crazy and I'm really trying to keep my sedentary. So you guys are so consumed with that though. Yeah. I don't think you should be as concerned about that. Don't give a shit about what they're putting in their mouth. They eat shit. We'll throw up and we'll eat it right back up.

Oh. Oh, don't. But also 80s too. Do you think Shibuzzi does that? Shibuzzi don't do that, man. There's no way. There's no way. Should lose to keep that mouth clean.

I gotta know what you did in that music video. Were you rolling around on a car? You know what? He was in a fun 70s production designed school bus. And he was a rock star and I was a journalist. A journal. Did you ever like take off your glasses and shake your hair out? And I was like putting the mic towards him and writing stuff down.

But I was being like hot about it. Wow. Yeah. And he was like, I'm Robert Plant. I got to check this out. I'm writing about you. This is incredible. And you saw him at a party and remembered you.

I love this. I couldn't believe it. I said, do you remember me? And he said, of course, I remember you. Oh, I love this for Shibuze. He gave me a big hug. He's so wonderful. Shout out Shabuzi, man.

I've been trying to tell you. You were trying to tell me on the last episode. Shout out Shibuzis. I wouldn't listen. You still didn't listen? And this is a musician. Yeah. Yes.

How do y'all not know who Shibuzi is, man? I mean, I know who Shibuzi is. Shibuzi is. I just didn't listen. Zero time Grammy Award winner Shibuzzi. That's right. You were on right before the Grammy's the last, or the day after the Grammys the last time. You thought he was going to sweep. The episode came out.

The episode came out. It was a, we recorded it a month before the Grammy's definitely. You were predicting a sweep. He ended up with zero. What did Shibuzi smell like? Do you smell good? Opportunity, possibility. Yes. You know what I mean? The future.

Yeah. Hope. Success. Yeah. See, I just don't know that society is going to allow us to go out on first dates and immediately take our pants down and smell each other's assholes. Scott, I hear you. That's why I changed it to mouth and kiss. Okay. So I don't... Listen, I'm flexible. I'm going to amend this. I don't know that society these days will even allow you to just kiss a person that you're on a date with without their consent right away. Oh, my God. Dogs just read consent.

I know. That's the thing. Feel it. All the talky, talky, talking, see, I think dogs give implied consent

all the time, you know, it's like tacit consent. And I think humans would be better off if we just consented to let whoever do whatever they want to do.

A little Lesterita on the face hole, a little more pheromones communicating. Thank you. One another. Thank you. Wow,

you guys have helped me really streamline this business. I don't know that it's streamlined necessarily is just a 180. Fire. Yeah. I don't know about you guys.

Yeah. This is really, really working for me, and I'm excited. I'm ignited. I love this. So do you need to change your website? Hannah's father could probably... I would love to get your email. I'm not using it.

I'm really not. Hannah, I'm by your and abyspot.com. Well, that's not been. It's going to be C spot. Well, it was going to be C spot tell, you know, because it's like I'm telling people. Yeah. But I'm just like C spot date. C spot date, although I think that I would feel like that's an only fan side if I were.

But that would get a lot of traffic. That's true. Also, I'm not opposed to putting up my feet. Let's check out. Do you mind if you check out your feet maybe right now? Oh, God, of course. Yeah, yeah. See, people are so sensitive.

Yeah, do you have a rating on Wiki feet? Hannah, do you have a rating on Wiki feet? I'm sure I do. Put them out. I need to see them dogs. Do you? That's what I'm saying. Let's get these dogs out.

Let's show some more pictures of these dogs. Okay. Your rating. Before you say it. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and self-eval. Is it one to ten? One to five.

One to five. Okay. Okay. So for me, like I do, I don't think that I have like extraordinary feet by any means. So for me, I'm going to say. I cannot even think of an instance where I've even seen. like the shadow of your feet or anything like that like in terms of your work yeah yeah yeah have you done much like i'm clavicle up typically that's not where i operate that scene that scene where your shadow

was against the wall that you were putting on the stock here i'm sort of peeling my head yeah yeah but i will say most of the pictures most of the pictures on your site are uh wiki feet on wiki feet are you at events or on talk shows. And open-toed heel, I presume. Open-toed heel on the Jimmy Kimmel show. What was that? Did you see something scary?

I was about to cough, no. Open-toed heel. And, but there are some candid photos, it seems. I hope that candid. It's not professional photos. I'm going to go ahead and clock myself in at three. Whoa. Hey, don't take this into your dating life.

Would it surprise you, shoe size nine, by the way, is that accurate? Eight. Oh, my God. Okay, we need to amend WikiVeed. Would it surprise you to learn you have a four-star rating? Wow. See? It would.

And it says, parentheses, nice feet. Really? Yes. God, then I guess I don't know the metrics that they're using. By the way, there are about six comments on your page. Six comments. Let's hear them. Use your comments.

I like what I see. Cute feet on a cute lady. Okay, that's a dog person. Wholesome. Yeah. Gorgeous, long toes. Okay. That's a cat person.

Very sexy. I'm scared. That's a dope. Okay, here's a little bit of a criticism. Okay. Not much, but there. Not much. Well, hang on now.

Well, hang on. Do I have long toes or don't I? I don't know. What do you mean? Not much. I'm not ascertaining. I'm not here to judge. I think they're talking about the amount of pictures.

Okay, okay. I think they just want more. Wow, I'm crazy about her toes and the polish color looks great against her pale skin. Okay. Okay. It started horrible, went on to become allyship. Toes legit. Absolutely, and I think that could be said for everyone here.

And no, we should be leading with our toes more. Ladies and gentlemen, toes legit. How of this, damn she's so hot, I wish there was more of her. Okay. Like more of your body or more? I'll tell you the most horrific comment I've ever gotten on a post of mine. And it's the cleanest word choice, but it's so upsetting. Are you ready?

Okay. Love her wide, fat. I can't even say it. Okay, here it is. Love her wide, fat, beefy pooper. Jesus. It shows in every episode, which is great. I understand what's wrong.

Is that not? To a dog. This is like the biggest compliment you could get. For a dog, that's a rave. That is. That is some high regard. Oh, my God. I don't think you should think anything other than...

Someone commented on a bunch of my stuff. Am I? They just copy and paste? I fear that saying this on this podcast is going to lead our fans to comment it endlessly. No! Oh my God. You guys. Please don't. She doesn't like this.

That is insanitary. I do like the WikiFeed links to your IMDP page. Totally. And it lists my one credit. You have fewer credits than I expected, I have to say. Yeah. Doing my pre-interview. That's why I was like career.

You mean I've been on one show. Done three of these episodes. Sure. I hope to see that reflected in your Wikipedia. That's right. Pedia page. Abby, I'm glad that we have helped you out. Wow.

I feel like I won this round. Yes, you won the episode. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. We should have a game show element of this, too. Yeah. Yeah.

People love to compete. Say that stuff. Do you think if football, and this is for you, Hannah, if football didn't have points, would still be as exciting? No. The points are key, right? You have to have the points because you have to win and it's about winning. But what if they ran up and down the field and did all the things they're doing and kicked it

through the thing and all that? And everyone just was like, good job. Yeah, that's interpretive dance. That's not. That's a game of catch to me. and I'm here for that. That's sports. All right.

Well, we are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That's a little something called plugs. Hey, Levi. What's your good plug? What's your good plug? What's your good plug? I really, really, really, really want to hear it, please.

Ooh, nice and short. That was Plug's Please by Levi Sains. Thank you to Levi Sains. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs and uploaded. And you can be famous for a week. and Levi Sains, you are famous this week and this week only. Prepare for the inevitable crashdown of your fame plummeting in about seven days' time. Hannah, what are we plugging here? Your Wikipedia says not much other than hats.

That's right. That's right, Scott. You had your stand-up special, which came out last year? Yeah. That people can still access. Check that out. Everything must go only streaming now on Max, which is also where my show is. That's the corporation that owns me. You are just knee-deep in the Max business. Oh, yeah, baby. Are you like Max royalty? Like when you show up out there in Santa Monica or wherever their offices are, do they just like all the doors open for you? I'm something about Maxinista. I'd say that's fair to say. Yeah, we got hacks coming out. And when does this air this episode? Who knows? But I will say that wet day is the day that everyone will be celebrating. April 10th, folks. April 10th. April 10th and, uh, remember, we need exponential growth, right? This is an era of, uh, tech and Wall Street influence in Hollywood. So, and if you don't have growth in your business, that means you're doing horrible. You can't just make money for everyone. No. You need to grow. You need to grow every quarter. So if you want me to keep, you know, sort of living, frankly, uh, you got to tune in,

folks. You got to tune in. How many seasons do you want to do? I, I think we talked about this last episode, but I would like as many as you guys are still alive, just every year. just make a new season and we're just like, you know, and the later seasons can be boring, you know, like, I'm sure, you know, not, there's not going to be all this drama with like, oh, she's got a big show now. Like, eventually it's all going to peter out. But I just would love to just hang out with you guys. Well, you're sweet.

And I, I too, would love that. I think, you know, our hope is five. Our hope is five. Your hope is five. So you don't know yet. We don't know yet. We don't know yet. Because win all these awards every year.

Look, you know. Including you a Critics Choice Award. Hey, come on now. The critics chose you to win an award. They chose me to win and that, you know, and I choose, and you have to choose yourself every day. And that's what really matters. I believe they chose you to win supporting actress when I view you as a co-lead. Well, you're nice as in addition to being sweet.

Thank you. But hacks is out. We need to watch it on wet day. We need to. And it comes out every week, too. It's not like all put up at the same time. It's one episode a week One episode a week

So here's what I would do I would watch the first one on April 10th I would probably Pace around my house Wondering what's gonna happen For the next six days And then seven days later I watched number two

Repeat Repeat that ten times Yeah ten times repeat that We're going all the way to June Is that how long this is running This is going to be a great couple of months I think it'll be

I think yeah April a lot of May. A lot of May, right? I mean, look, and I'm with Abby. I don't do math, so that's your department. But yeah. Look, I'll just have to keep working so that I can keep coming back on comedy bank. I hope so because Max, you know, and Hacks, which by the way, they rhyme, that's elegant. Hacks on Max. If this doesn't get back for a fifth season, I don't know that we're going to have occasion to talk anymore. And I really love our chats. Yeah, I guess I'll have to figure something out. Make a real career. Yeah. So I'm begging our listeners watch hacks because I want to be talking with Hannah in about a year's time.

Yeah, we're so desperate to be talking one year from now. And so if you could watch the show, that would help us to do that. I would love that. All right, let's turn over to Dion Sanders. What are you plugging here? First of all, Colorado football is back in August. Stay tuned for that. We already back to work at this point.

So you guys are in pre-what-do-you-call? Work out. Work out. We're just working out. We're evaluating dogs. We're saying how many dogs we got this season. How many dogs have you been through? Hundreds of dogs.

Hundreds of dogs. Yeah. And they haven't all worked out. They haven't all worked out. Not all dogs go to heaven, Scott. You know that. No, because you just get new lives. Exactly.

Come on back. Well, other than that, I'd like to plug some other people's podcast that I like to listen to. Oh, sure, yeah. The Hollywood Handbook. The Hollywood Handbook Sportomatic Universe. Those men. Those men. Yeah, what we call them.

You call them those men. Some people call them the boys, but those men, they just launched a new podcast. What are these guys doing? It's called The Filthy On The Filthy Ones. It's a play on the Flagre ones, which is a basketball podcast. The Filthy Ones is a baseball podcast. Oh, okay. Yes, yes.

So go over there and check that out. The Boys and Call, as they are as they are. very eloquently described as online, the Boys and Carl. The Boys and Carl. And let me ask you a question. Did they ever drop the act? I still don't know. Interesting.

Also, you know, watch other things. Grand crew streaming on Peacock. In the nose, streaming on Peacock. Is that going to come back? If enough people watch that, will that come back? Probably not. Neither will end the note. And watch Saturday Night Live.

Ladies and gentlemen. Shiboooo. Or jelly roll. Yeah. Yeah. Did you, did I have a friend who's a writer on that show. Yeah. And he write ladies and gentlemen jelly roll?

I did. He did. Oh my God. This is huge. He did. I would love to meet him. Yeah, you got to meet that guy. All right, Abby Spot.

What are you plugging? Well, check me out on Hannah's Wiki Feet. Oh, you're getting in there? I mean, that's where I'm going to do my. That's where you're going to comment on? Oh, that's where I'm going to combine. That's where you're getting your website. That's how you can find.

I would imagine her Wiki Feet page gets more traffic than HannahEinbinder. Oh, undoubtedly. That's why we went with him. We went with the feet. There's just no doubt. There are some cute people who do improv. Oh, okay. The Yeti team at UCB in L.A.

And at the Elysian Theater in L.A. Okay. Can find them on Instagram at For Real Yeti. I don't know. Yeti for real, maybe. Yeti for real, maybe. Yeah, I thought that's it. Yeah.

If I had to guess. And I have no skin in this game. I have no skin in this game either. But a lot of skin on your arms and legs, though. I'll tell you that much. Well, not that I'm showing. Yeah. I have pants with a huge hole in the house.

We haven't talked about that, by the way. When you walked in here, it was surprising to me. You have a huge hole in your... I'm upset that I have to be on a chair and hide it right now. Yeah, I know. This is terrible. Yeah. I want to plug, look, hey, we mentioned it before CBB World.

It's your one-stop shop for everything Comedy Bang Bang related. We have the entire archive every episode of this show, add-free. We have every single live episode we've ever done, including the giant tour we did last year. We have great shows like Scott hasn't seen, where we watch movies that I haven't seen before. We were just in the middle of month, month, which is so exciting. We also had, we have shows like, Hey Randy with Randy Snuts.

We have Who Me with the Batman. We have The Neighborhood Listen. We have College Town. So many great things over there. And if you subscribe for a full year, you get two months free. So that's a great deal. All right, what do you say? Why don't we close up the old plug bag?

Never ceases to surprise me and also make me laugh. That was Clothe the PlugBack. by Evaser. Thanks to Evaser for that. And guys, I want to thank you so much. Hannah, I know you're mid-sip of water, but I'm going to thank you, and I'm going to say that I hope that Hax is a huge success. I'm a big fan of the show and early adopter and excited for this season, and can't wait to see it, and I hope to talk to you in a year. I will see you in a year. I love that confidence. That's dog confidence. Oh, yeah. All right. And Abby Spott, of course. Good luck with your business and good luck with co-opting wiki feet.

We'll be in touch. Yeah, fantastic. And Dion. Should we show one more scene from Hacks? Should we? Yeah, sure. One more writer's room scene? Okay, sure, yeah. And action. So you got those ribs. Oh, there's a good rib right here. And we both lost our jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got barbecue sauce all over the rewrites. Yeah, that was really tough. And maybe I should have taken a different leadership strategy, but I was just trying to be, I don't know, easy and cool. It's not your fault. Hey, I need a place to stay.

You mind if I'm moving with you and Christina Hendricks. I don't, yeah. Well, I guess I could sleep on the couch. The new intimacy coordinator is here. Hi, I'm Abby Spot, the new intimacy coordinator for hacks. I'm taking over your office. Oh, wow. Wow.

So I'm sorry, I'm just a passive PA observer. The intimacy coordinator is taking over the head writer's job office? Well, I got fired. Okay. Yes. Because we didn't get the rewrites. approved by my subordinate. I'm so sorry.

And they found me through WikiPee. Oh, okay. This all makes sense to me. I just want to write one last day before I leave the office. Let's hear it. This is me writing a cute car.

This is me writing a cute car. Genuinely. Genuinely, amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, toes legit. Wow. All right, we'll see you next.

Bye.