Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Greg Hess, Madeline Walter

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

Actress Mary Elizabeth Ellis joins Scott to talk about her new movie Red One, the Netflix series A Man on the Inside, and Creepshow. Then, folk singer Glen Plapinger returns to sing a few songs including one about his new Cybertruck. Plus, horror author Stephen King stops by to flesh out ideas for his next 10 stories.  Get tickets for the Comedy Bang! Bang! Into Your Mouth Tour 2024 over at https://CBBWorld.com/tour Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

Mind your business, Sally, I'm washing the dog. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Hmm. Mind your business, Sally, I'm washing the dog. Not bad. Easy to say. This might be the permanent catchphrase. It's from Raw Audio Radio Rodeo.

No, that's too hard to say. Sorry, Raw Audio Radio Rodeo. No, that's too hard to say. Sorry, Raw Audio Radio Rodeo. Your username is too hard to say. Unfortunately, I can't credit you every single episode. The hunt continues for a new catchphrase submission. I'm sorry, that was a good attempt though. Maybe if you change your username, I'll go back to it. I can barely say go back to it.

Welcome to Comedy Pangpang for another week, special Thanksgiving week edition. This is the time when we gather friends and family, close to our hearths, and our hearts, and we gather them near to us and dear to us. And this episode is no exception. We have three, look, I've said it before, I'll say it again, hopefully stars are back on Comedy Bang Bang. And we have three huge stars on the show. Today we have an actress, we have a folk singer, we also have a world famous author. This is an incredible show. If you're going to listen to one episode of Comedy Bang Bang this year, make it this one

and then consider listening to more. We have like 850 other episodes. You can always go back. Anyway, let's get to our first guest. She is a wonderful actress. You've seen her on your screens over the years. Anytime she's on, you've nodded in approval and said, yes, I like this show because she's in it. So many shows, why even name any of them? Let's not. You know? Yeah. You have two new shows.

Let's not name them. I'll name those, but the old ones, those are in the past. I'm not even going to talk on this. Yeah. Yeah, don't even talk on this. That's a good idea. Don't say my name, don't say anything I've done. People know. No, let's talk about the new stuff though.

She's in a new television show. It's on Netflix. It's a Ted Danson top liner called A Man, or The Man on the inside, A Man on the inside. A Man. A Man, just any man on the inside. A Man. A Man.

Not A Man. Remember Sherman Hemsley show, A Man? Amen. Amen. Just any man on the inside. Amen. Not amen. Remember Sherman Hemsley's show, Amen? No. She also was in the movie Red One, which is about a jacked Santa Claus. Why wasn't it called Jacked Santa? Oh, that's, is it too late? I bet they could change all the posters. I mean look, if they changed Edge of Tomorrow to Live Die Repeat. I'd watch it. When it came out on video, why not? Yeah, maybe that's your new catchphrase. Jacked Santa. We've heard of bad Santa.

What about jacked Santa? She's in both of these things. They're out now. Please welcome for the first time, joining the exclusive one timers club, Mary Elizabeth Ellis. Hi. Hi. I feel like I did this, but a long time ago. Weren't you on the television show?

I was. But were you on the- I was an old man. You were an old man? Yeah, I became an old man. I don't remember that, why? I don't know. I thought you were in a boardroom.

Maybe you had more than one part. I think I had more than one part. I think we were beautiful daughters and then old men. We all had beards on. Oh, you were in the Thanksgiving episode. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, and I'm back for Thanksgiving. I only come for Thanksgiving. Yes, that's right.

You had two parts. You were in the boardroom first, and then you were in our King Lear Thanksgiving episode. Yes. That's right. Let me look up in the Wiki, have you ever been on the show before? Oh, episode 389.

Back in- It's like 500 episodes ago. Back in 2015, nine years ago. That was a long time ago. Not quite as long as Jim O'Hare, who just entered the Two Timers Club after 10 years. You are entering the Two Timers Club after nine years. Thank you for finally having me back. I finally paid off my debts from the things I broke last time. Yeah.

Ready to break some more shit. As we explained to Jim, it means your career is on the downturn if you're back more than once. Let me tell you who's in the one-timers club. Ben Stiller. Heard of him. Childish Gambino, Paul Rudd. All right, so I should have said no.

Yeah. Okay, damn it. And definitely don't come back for three. Is it too late? It might not be too late. You could just turn around and walk away. Although you know what? I've recorded the ones and zeros already.

I'm in there. Yeah, you're in there. Anyway, welcome back. Thank you. So wonderful to have you. Happy to be here. Tell me about Jack Santa. Why, how much can he bench?

Is this dealt with in the trailer? How much he can, is he benching reindeer? What is happening with this guy? I don't know if it's in the trailer, but there is definitely some benching in there. There's a pretty funny joke where he's benching a lot and then he's like, let's go heavy. Oh, okay. Yeah, and we're like, what?

Cause that was already so much. That was already so heavy, but then he puts on more. Yeah, and then he puts on more. Okay, and is he benching presents? Is he? No, just weights. This is just weights? Yeah, with.

Are they candy canes though? The Rock, no, they really missed. They should have. Yeah, it should be like. Leading into that. Weights, I understand, like weights. Yeah, with. Are they candy canes though? The rock, no, they really missed, they should have. Yeah, it should be like. Leading into that. Weights, I understand, like weights are heavy. Sure. Heavier than Oreo cookies or whatever.

Yeah. But like in the middle, make it a candy cane. I agree. Connecting them? Also, maybe not too late. It could be. Let's call Jake Kasdan. Let's just paint some stripes on this thing.

Look, I think they did enough post work on this. I don't think he's taking any notes anymore. This, of course, is called Red One. It stars The Rock. It stars one of the Chris's. I couldn't tell you who. The Evans one. Evans.

And it also has not that notorious turf JK Rowling. No, we're talking JK Simmons, the good JK. The good JK. Yes. Bonnie Hunt. Bonnie Hunt JK Simmons. The good JK. The good JK. Yes. Bonnie Hunt. Bonnie Hunt. Lucy Liu. Lucy Liu. Nick Kroll. From that Destiny's Child song. Is she, she's gonna pay your bills?

She's name checked in, they go, Lucy Liu. Oh. And then they start singing. You know what, when you said it, when you said it, I remembered. It's one of my favorite lyrics. Yeah. Lucy Lou. Oh. And then they start singing. You know what, when you said it, when you said it, I remembered. It's one of my favorite lyrics, Lucy Lou. Lucy Lou. Lucy Lou. She can pay your bills, she can pay your telephone bills.

I doubt it's that song. But I believe this is from the Charlie's Angels soundtrack, which is why she's mentioned, but. Got it. There's not a lot of paying telephone bills in the movie Charlie's Angels. No, or in Red One. So again, a miss.

Although wouldn't it be great if there were a scene where I presume it stars some North American family where they're like, we can't pay our telephone bill. You know who could? Santa, but he's been kidnapped. Really? By Kiernan Shipka. That's what happens in this movie.

And who do you play? Are you an elf? Are you a- I'm not. I'm Chris Evans' baby mama. Okay. Mama of Wesley Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel's nephew. Okay.

Nepo baby. Interesting. Self-proclaimed. Never heard of him and suddenly he's in a movie. All of a sudden. One more movie than me. Biggest Christmas movie of all time. According to who now? Of all time.

Of all time. Oh, okay. I'm not gonna argue. Yeah, yeah, because I said it three times. So you have a baby. What other role does this woman play in life? I'm not going to argue. Yeah, yeah, because I said it three times. Are you, so you have a baby, what other role does this woman play in life? I'm an OBGYN and I'm busy at work and I just need Chris Evans' character to show up and help me take care of our kid, you know? Jack, Jack O'Malley. Does he have a job or is he?

He's a, yeah. Jack O'Malley, by the way, is too close, for a Christmas movie, too close to Jack O'Lantern. Jack O'Claws do you think they should have gone? Yeah. Okay. Maybe get rid of the O too, that's probably what's leading me down. Just Jack O anything? Other than wacko Jack O of course, Michael Jackson.

Jack McMalley? Okay, yeah, I'll take it. Jack McMalley. Okay. I have a list. You have a list for Jake. Yeah, for Casden, yeah. And so you need him to watch the kid. Meanwhile, what hijinks is he of?

Yeah, I need him to step up and be a good dad, but he's the wolf. He's- I don't know what that means. Yeah, well, you might have to watch the movie to see. Also- Just so I can find out why he's the wolf. Yeah, also kind of a Halloween reference,

wouldn't you say? Wolfman. Yeah, and Wacko- Wacko Jacko. Jacko. Yeah, Michael Jackson was in the thriller video with zombies. Yeah. It's all coming together.

It all. What if there was a CGI Michael Jackson in this film? You went to the premiere, this wasn't in the script or anything, and then suddenly you watch it and it's like there's a Jar Jar Binks style CGI character and it's just Wacko Jacko. Would that be a surprise to you? It would, I'd be upset, I think. and suddenly you watch it and it's like, there's a Jar Jar Binks style CGI character and it's just wacko-jacko. Would that be a surprise to you? It would, I'd be upset, I think. Yeah, children's movie.

Yeah, what's he doing in there? Yeah, why did he do this? Why did he get paid more than I did? Exactly, but you know what the good news is? It didn't happen. Thank God, and for that we can be grateful. Hashtag gratitude list, hashtag Thanksgiving. So Red One is out there in theaters right now,

tearing up the screens, but then you also decided to turn your attention to the smaller screen. I did. And you're in the television show, it's on Netflix right now, eight episodes, called A Man on the Inside. I've seen now five of these eight episodes.

You have? Just to prepare for this. That's very kind of you. Don't care for it. I too have some notes. This is of course, Mike Schur joint. We know him from such shows as Parks and Rec, The Good Place, etc.

It's a very intriguing premise. Do you wanna explain it or should I? I mean, you know, it's your show. I lived it. So if you wanna tell the people and I can chime in. Well, there's this guy, he's pretty cool. It's not Michael Jackson. Although he has like a certain air about,

like if he were to start singing and doing a moonwalk, you wouldn't be incredibly surprised. Yeah. If he threw in a wee-hoo. Was that one of his famous ad libs, Wee-hoo? Yeah. I know Shamone. Shamone.

I don't believe I've ever heard Wee-hoo. Oh, I feel like it would sound good coming out of Ted Danson. Yes. That's the, well, that's the, we're burying the lead here. Ted Danson is the star of this thing. Don't say burying Ted Danson. No, please, we don't even wanna put those in the same sentence. Yeah, thank you.

We come to praise him, not to bury him, as the immortal bard once said. Oh. Wacko Jacko? Yes. Okay. This stars Ted Danson. He plays a retiree who is a recent widower who in order to sort of shake off the doldrums of his life

and do something, his daughter, who we'll talk about in a second, gives him some advice to join a club or do something interesting with his life. What he does is he answers an ad in the paper from a private investigator looking for help. And he becomes a man on the inside, the titular man on the inside,

infiltrates a retirement community in order to solve a crime. Yes. Does that about sum it up? I feel like you did a great job. And I think one of the things that is so cool about this show is that it's based on a documentary. Most shows should be based on this documentary. I agree.

On this specific documentary. There's a lot of ways in. Just little facets. Yeah. But this one was the first. Yeah, The Mole Agent is what it's called. So yeah, we could see some cartoons that are like moles that are agents. Yeah.

I mean, they do with the Pink Panther, which was about a diamond and suddenly there's some cartoon panther running around. Yeah. And da-da da-da da-da. Exactly. Da-da da-da da-da. Yeah. Dead Ant song.

Dead Ant song. Now you play, it will come as no surprise to our listeners, the daughter of Ted Danson. No one's surprised. No one is surprised. When people look at me they're like, I can see that. She looks like Ted Danson's daughter.

Yeah. Yeah, I can see like he and Shelley Long, got busy in the back store room with cheers. Thank you so much and made me. Yes. That's delightful. You are the spiritual heir to those two cheer stars, I feel like with like your whole style. Incredible.

Thank you. I will take that. Of course. I've always said that. With deep gratitude. You play the daughter of Ted Danson and at first, well, first of all, we should mention Eugene Cordero, whom people know, plays your husband.

Eugene's amazing, he's incredible. You have three boys together. We do. Was that for real or was that? Yeah, yeah, we had, Eugene and I have been making children for years in hopes that someone might cast all five of us in something and it hadn't paid off until this

year. And it was about to get weird. We were about to have to tell our spouses, but luckily the show popped in and saved us all. Yeah. It's all worth it. And at first you are merely a spectator to the events, but then you become participatory in the events. You become part of the investigation yourself. I do. And then I freak out a little. It's gone too far. It's a little scary. I wanted my dad to get out there in the world, but not like this. Not like this. Not like this. But then eventually you come around to it. Now I've only seen five, I can only assume that something happens in like, he retires in episode seven

and then you become the star in episode eight. I mean, notes from Mike, sure. We're gonna send it in. I am excited for you to see six. Six is a good big episode for moi. Oh boy, because three already was big for you. It was. And now six is on the horizon for me.

Yeah. The good news is people- You're gonna call me crying, mister. The good news is people can see every single episode right now. Netflix, should we explain this to the listener? They do a binge model. You should explain what Netflix is first. Okay. First of all, it was a DVD rental business

that would, instead of you going to the store, they would mail the DVDs to you, which honestly was not as convenient because you're near the store and Netflix was so far away. It would take days and days and days. You're probably gonna lose a couple. Yeah, I remember I owed them, I think $150. Like Columbia House.

Just to rent a Red Rock West starring Nicolas Cage that I kept for years. There's a Donnie Darko somewhere in my house. I don't know where. This is a new subject, right? There's a Donnie Darko in your house? Yeah. And I'm very afraid and that's what I came here to talk about.

Okay, great. But then they moved over into I don't even how to how do you describe? I would call it streaming. I don't know what other people would call it dirty I don't like it. Yeah, but it's like there's a river of information and they're just a stream Yeah, the ones zeros are delivered to your device and then they decode them and make images out of them. And turn them into Ted Danson. This sounds ridiculous when you say it, right? It does. It's like, are we, is this a simulation

or a dream or something like that? It's like, when you say stuff that happens out loud, it doesn't seem like it makes sense, right? It doesn't make sense, but it's best to not really look too deep. Just watch Ted Danson. That's a good point. Yeah, he's so sweet and cute.

He's so sweet and cute. What was it like working with Ted Danson? He's obviously had such a career from Creepshow to this. A lot of Creepshow questions. And by the way, one of our upcoming guests, we'll talk to them about Creepshow a lot. But anyway, go ahead. Oh, a teaser. Yeah, that's right.

Amazing. Is Creepshow the one where he got buried in the sand? He did. Because his daughter, Katrina, was there helping him learn his lines, Is Creepshow the one where he got buried in the sand? He did. Because his daughter Katrina was there helping him learn his lines because this man is almost 80 years old and had a lot of lines. Did he name her Katrina because of Katrina and the waves and he got buried on the beach up to his neck in Creepshow?

I don't think so, only because she was saying how much that fucked her up as a child watching her father be slowly drowned in the ocean. Meaning she watched the movie or they literally drowned him? They literally drowned him. Oh, wow. I'm working with his ghost. And he has a lot of information from the other side. He's had a great career for a ghost, honestly.

Truly. He did all of, after Creepshow, he did all of Cheers. Yeah. He did that show with Zach Galifianakis and Jason Schwartzman, of course, from HBO. No one can remember its name, but we all loved it. Board to death. Board to death. I did it. That's right, as I used to say to Zach,

is that the story of me watching your show? He would laugh and laugh and laugh. And cry. That's right, he would cry at home and think I was very mean to him. But what was it like working with him? He had so many lines. He had so many lines.

He is the consummate professional. That's a way to say that, right? Consummate, I used the word correctly. It depends on what you're trying to say. Like a bouillon cube of professionalism. Was that it? Sure. Okay. And he's so lovely and fun and funny and self-deprecating and smart and comes to work

so prepared and also so ready to play. And it was incredible. It was incredible to work with that many actors who have been around forever and ever. Sally Struthers, Margaret, John Goetz, Stephen McKinley, yes. You don't have to name everybody. Yes, too many names. But Sally Struthers, she's the one with all the dead dogs and everything on the TV, right?

She was helping the children. Oh, she was helping the children. Are they okay now? Yes. Oh, great. Yeah, yeah, they're all good. Good. Yeah, great. Yeah. Yeah. They're all good. I think. Yeah. Totally. We did it. Totally good. Yeah. Well, Sally did it.

Well, I mean, I gave, I did my part. Did you? Or did you accidentally give to the dogs? Because it seems like you- I might have given to Sarah McLachlan's dogs. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, well. Oh, well. Still, all the dogs are good too, though.

Dogs are good too. That's the good thing is, is you can cure so many problems if you just put your mind to it. Yeah, everything's good. Everything's good in the world. Hashtag Thanksgiving episode. Hashtag November, everything's good. Everything's good. Uh-huh.

It's a great show, as far as I can tell. I've only seen five episodes. I don't know how it sticks the landing, but. You let me know. I will definitely let you know. Thanks for watching it. Of course, yeah, man on the inside. It's got that old Mike sure goodness to it.

It's just got that rhythm of stuff he puts together. It does, he's magical. Yeah, do you mean for real or? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah. This is huge. Yeah.

What powers does he have? I think he's Santa Claus. He's Santa Claus? I think so. Oh my God, I remember once when I was a little boy. Yeah. What powers does he have? I think he's Santa Claus. He's Santa Claus? I think so. Oh my God, I remember once when I was a little boy. Yeah. I went downstairs in the middle of the night. Mike sure was kissing your mom under the mistletoe.

More than kissing. Whoa. He got to third base. Aw, that's nice of your mom. Yeah, it was. I bet you got some extra presents. Yeah, it was really nice of her. Yeah, it's hard to be a parent and you know you do anything for your kids. I bet you got some extra presents. Yeah, it was really nice of her. It's hard to be a parent and you know,

you do anything for your kids. Sure. It's a wonderful story. Well, it's a great show and by all accounts, Red One is a holiday delight and children of all ages from nine to 99 are enjoying this movie. Yeah. And although if you're 99, why are you watching movies?

Yeah, go to heaven. Yeah, just get to heaven already. It's a nice way to say it, go to heaven. Just go to heaven. We don't need you anymore. We have to take a break, but this is a very exciting show. We have a folk singer here. Do you like music?

Love, especially folk music. What's your favorite note? C sharp. It's a good one. Yeah, it's pointy, but reminds me of citrus. Yeah. It's like a sharp orange. Yeah, exactly. I like D flat.

Do you wanna explain why? It's, you know, it's citrusy. Oh, interesting. Now that I think of it, it might be C-sharp as well. Yeah, a sharp orange. We also have an author and we'll describe that Creepshow connection. Very exciting. Very exciting.

We're gonna take a break. When we come back, Mary Elizabeth Ellis is going to just fully immerse herself in the Two Timers Club and really just dig in and luxuriate in it. Yeah. We're gonna get comfortable here. I love it. And pop this top off, listen to some folk music.

This is going to be an exciting show. Stars are back. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Mary Elizabeth Ellis is here. A man on the inside is the Netflix television program and it's doing pretty well from what I can tell, right? People seem to like it.

Yeah. Yeah, people are crying, people are laughing. Why are people crying? Because it does deal with aging and it does deal with dementia, which I think a lot of people have a relationship with. Oh, thank God you said a relationship with. Whether they remember it or not.

Thanks. Well, let's get to our next guest. He is returning to the show. He's been on a few times before. He's a folk artist. He was a contemporary of, I believe, all those wonderful folk artists from the 60s, Bob Dylan, the other ones.

Please welcome back to the show Glenn Plappinger. Hi there, Scott. It was so nice to be back on the program and so nice to see your guests. Yeah, so wonderful to have you. Yes, thank you. Yeah, this is Mary Elizabeth. Hi, Mary Elizabeth.

Hi. It's a pleasure and an honor and a pleasure. Have you watched any of Mary Elizabeth's previous appearances on the silver screen or on the smaller screen? Well, Scott, I've had to take a break from all media. All media? I'm taking a media fast. You're raw dogging media?

Yes I am and I apologize, I haven't seen Mary Ellen's previous work. Mary Elizabeth, but yeah. But I'm sure it's all grand and all great. It's all great. I think the last movie I saw was probably Tootsie. Tootsie, and was that a recent watch or was that back when it actually came out? What year did that come out?

1980, I wanna say four. You know what, I probably saw it right around then. Really? In the drive-in movie theater, Scott, that was how we used to see films. Well, it was an option. It's not how everyone would see films. Oh, really? It was one option out of maybe two options. You could either do the drive-in or-

I always did the drive-in because I was rambling and rolling all around this great country of ours and I would drive in, see a movie, and then I'd hit the road again. That's right. So you haven't seen anything since then? Why are you on a media blackout? Well, Scott, as you know, this country is going through quite a change right now. And, and the winds of change are blowing all around. And I just decided that the media, the mainstream media just doesn't get it right.

Do they Scott? Uh, I don't know about that. And you, and you, so you haven't seen a movie since 84 because things are changing right now. Right. Exactly. And so I wanted to make sure that alternate forms of media were reaching me. So I only, when I say a media fast, I only, I still listen to Rogan and then any other thing. Yeah, of course.

Any other thing I've pretty much tuned out. All I need is that. Okay. Well, that's incredible. And Emmy, are you a fan of Mr. Plapinger's music? Are you aware of his music at all? Oh, yeah, oh, 100%, yeah. Yeah, well, just because my parents used to listen to it all the time in our one panel station. And are they still with us? Yes, yes.

Oh, great. Yeah. And are they still together? They are. Oh, they are. Yeah, I would just say- Most of my fans aren't. Oh, that's so. And are they still together? They are. Oh, they are. Yeah. Most of my fans aren't.

Oh, that's so funny. Most of your fans are divorcees? Yes, they are. I hit hard with the separated crowd. Oh. Well, that's 50% of the people in the world with marriages. That is true. 51% are women, 50% are divorced.

Interesting. That's an action. So you've been on the show before singing your song. Yes. What's going on with you lately? Well Scott, as I said, I've been rolling around and I've been rolling around in something that I'm very excited about, a cyber truck. You own a cyber truck? I bought a, I was, I put a deposit down five years ago and How much was this deposit? The deposit was $10,000 was, I put a deposit down five years ago. And how much was this deposit? The deposit was $10,000, Scott, and I didn't have

the money at the time, but I saw that little triangle. Uh, I saw that triangle drawing that Elon posted on Twitter X now, and I thought. The everything app. Yep. The everything app. And I thought I need to own one of those. Cause how else am I going to get the, the good

stories that I like to sing about out to. Cause how else am I going to get the, the good stories that I like to sing about out to the people. So you drive around the country. I drive around in a beautiful brand new cyber truck, Scott. Have you gotten it wrapped at all? Oh, I've gotten it. Yes, I've got it wrapped. Wait, I play, I play rap in it.

I like Danny Brown, but I also like, but I, I got, I've gotten it wrapped. I, all my sponsors, um, there, you know, I've got, uh, Gunt muscle balm is one of my sponsors. What is Gunt? I haven't heard of this product. It's a topical muscle balm that you could put on. I found out about it on Rogan and I reached out to them and said, would you wrap my truck?

And they said, yes. Um, so they don't sponsor you. They just wrapped your truck. They wrapped my truck and, and I'm off to preaching the good word of, of Gunt to America. But you're not getting paid for this. Can you get paid for that? That's why people do it. Oh, is it?

Yeah. Oh, I have to look into that. But yep, just rolling around in my Cybertruck. I might even have a, maybe I have a Cybertruck tune if you'd like to hear it. I'd love to hear a Cybertruck tune, yeah, if you have one. I... Rolling around in my Cybertruck, out on the road. Where I'm going next, oh, nobody knows. Not really a rhyme. But if you're in the road and I'm talking about you protesters, I'll run you right over.

You're all molesters. No more protest songs if you're protesting in the road. I'll run you right over as the legend often told. That's a little tune. Okay, okay, and it just ends? Oh, I just, why stop? Cause I knew you'd cut me off, Scott. Okay, well it's polite. You can see why my parents loved us.

Yeah, of course. I just, I think one of the biggest problems right now, Scott, are these protesters going out in the road and I had to get a car that could go through them. Okay, I mean, to be honest, I've maybe once or twice in my life seen a protest on the road and I. Oh really?

Well, not in the places I go, Scott. I went, I drove this, as soon as I got my Cybertruck, I drove right up to San Francisco and I went looking for a protest. Okay. Did you want to go to San Francisco other than the protest? I don't like San Francisco. Never have.

The last time I was there was actually when I saw Tutsi, the drive in, that's where I saw it. They have drive ins like San Francisco never have the last time I was there was I actually when I saw to Tutsi at the driving That's where I saw it. They have drive-ins in San Francisco the Embarcadero Drive-in. That's where I saw it It seems like spaces had a premium San Francisco and Tutsi was one I mean that was the movie everybody's going crazy for in San Francisco because it's all about men dressing as women Yeah, that in met Madame Doubtfire. those are the two movies that they love up there. Or Mrs. Doubtfire as it was renamed. Of course, in England.

Yes. I don't know. It's not really one of your best songs as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, it wasn't. I sort of jammed it in there. What do you mean? What do you mean I jammed it in there?

Yeah. Well, I realized like, if I'm talking about a Cybertruck this much, I should have a song about a Cybertruck. And then I realized I actually don't have a song about a Cybertruck, so I just kind of made that one up. Okay, you could not talk about the Cybertruck as much. Well, I need sponsors. I would solve all the problems.

I need sponsors, and that's why I come on this program. So you come on the show in order to get sponsors. I come on this show looking for sponsors because Scott nobody really supports folk music anymore do they? No I it's not very popular. It's not and the only type of people that are supporting my kind of folk music these days are the people who are are really down with the message of America and what we're trying to get across. Okay I don't know if this is the... Yeah Yeah, I mean, Joni Mitchell just sold out the Hollywood bull, but. Bleck. Yeah, I figured you would say such.

Oh, I know, I've met Joni. Is that a band? Bleck is a band, I enjoy them. They were a really nasty band out of San Diego in the 80s. But they- They like a lot of towns that start with sand. Yeah, that's right.

I've gone to all the, if there's a saint in front, I'll go there, but usually I don't like it. And yeah, Scott, yeah, Joni Mitchell. I mean, I was one of a long list of Joni Mitchell's, she would call us lovers, I would call us enemies. How, who's right? I mean- Well, I was right in there between Stevens,

which she dated Steven Stills and Jackson Brown. You were in between. Yes, I was in between. How many days did you? How many days did we what, Scott? What's the most polite way to say this? Bone down. Make love? Yeah, oh, okay, that's better.

No, I think it's bone down. Yeah. How many days did we bone down? Well, I have a song about that. All right, yeah, let's hear it. All right, yeah, let's hear it. ["Forty Days and Forty Nights"] 40 days and 40 nights were up in the canyon.

Joni, Stephen, Jackson and me doing what lovers do. Every now and then I would roll over and say what you're doing and Jackson would look back at me and say I'm here with you. 40 days and 40 nights, that's how long we did it. 40 days and 40 nights just like Noah on the ark. And the song stops. Were you going to interrupt me, Scott? Do you want me to interrupt you? Do you remember last time, Scott, I would kind of... Sure, I was giving you a little more rope. I know, to hang myself with.

So you realize your songs are bad. Well, the songs don't matter, Scott, if you really little more rope. I know, to hang myself with. So you realize your songs are bad. Well, the songs don't matter, Scott, if you really think about it. Good songs, bad songs, they're all the same. Okay, when you said that you dated Joni in between Stephen Stills and Jackson Brown. I was literally in between the three of them in bed. It was all four of us up in the canyon.

It was just three on one action. And were there, you were, there were two. Well, she would say one on three. Two of each kind, two of each kind on this arc, were you? Two of each kind. Two by action. That's right. And were there, you were, there were two- Well, she would say one on three. Go on. Two of each kind, two of each kind on this arc? Were you- Two of each kind. Two by two.

Oh, absolute. Two of each kind on the arc. Have you ever thought about that? He put on two of every kind, two Dachshunds, two English Bulldogs. He probably just put on two dogs. Well, two golden retrievers. Think about how many different dogs there are, Scott. I mean, that is a lot

of dogs just going through the dogs and you've got two of every kind. That's a good point. I think he stuck to the main one. And do you think they called them Yorkshire Terriers back then? Maybe. Are just terriers? They could have been called terriers, but don't you think they were all going, what's Yorkshire? It doesn't exist yet.

It doesn't. Why don't you write songs about this kind of stuff? Or do stand up? Well, I do write songs about that. I write songs about everything, Scott, because isn't the American experience all about, um, it's a, it's about diversity. It's about diversity.

Thank you. Thank you for acknowledging this. It's a melting pot. Yeah, I know. And I've always hated that metaphor. Haven't you? Why don't you? Why a melting pot? Well, you melt everything down and It's a melting pot. Yeah. I know. And I've always hated that metaphor. Haven't you? Why don't you? Why?

A melting pot? Well, you melt everything down and it all tastes the same. And I think if you use one ingredient right at the beginning, you don't have to melt anything down. Just make it, just make a chicken soup, put chicken in it. But most recipes have more than one ingredient. I know, but that's got- You're describing chicken stock, basically, just like putting chicken in a.

Well, I don't cook, but the only thing. Then why are you using this metaphor if you don't even know what I'm talking about? Well, I'm on my Cybertruck. You know, the one thing about the Cybertruck Scott, you got a little heater inside. You can put a can of beans on it, just like a Rambler and a Rover will do.

And I'll put a can of beans. There's a heater in the Cybertruck? The cup holder heats up and can cook soup. Why? In case you need to, Scott, that's the whole point of the Cybertruck. I have never been in my car needing soup that bad. Well, the Cybertruck answers a question that's never been asked. That's the whole point of it.

Good point. Could a car be a triangle? Yes. Could you heat up soup, a can of beans in the cup holder? Absolutely. Do you have another song for us? Sure. What do you want to hear a song about, Scott? I told you, I've had it. I've got a million and one songs.

I mean, you know, I guess. I've got songs about the police and how they're great. I got a song about how the unions and how they're bad. I've got a song about how the votes shouldn't be counted unless they're good votes and how they're bad. I've got a song about how the votes shouldn't be counted unless they're good votes and good and proper. I've got songs about how Jesus Christ is coming back any day now. I've got a song about how Jesus Christ came back a couple weeks ago and nobody noticed. What happened? I do want to hear this one. Which one?

The one about Jesus Christ coming back two weeks ago and nobody noticed. Yeah, that we do this. And nobody, yeah, let's do this. I was outside of the general store looking around when a fella, he came up to me in a cloak of brown. Cloak. A cloak of brown, a cloak of brown. He came up- He's beating it. What? What's going on? If I had a lyric as clunky as a cloak of brown, I wouldn't point to it by repeating it over and over again.

That's what he was wearing, Scott. I don't know what the Messiah is going to wear, but I bet it's not a tuxedo. Although it would be very gentlemanly of him. Now you're interrupting me. You interrupted at the wrong place. When do you want... just give me a nod when you want me to interrupt you next time. All right. Okay.

All right, go ahead. A fella, a fella, he came up to me in a cloak of brown. He said, what's going on? I don't know what's up. I said, hey there, what Scott? Boring conversation you're having with... You don't know who he is yet. If I hadn't told you, you wouldn't know that this is

Jesus Christ came back. So wait, if I'm just listening to the song without knowing it's about Jesus Christ coming back, now I'm just listening to a song about you seeing a guy in a cloak of brown and you're saying, hey, what's up? Well, the, well, the song title, if you looked at the record, Scott is called, he came back two weeks ago and he is capitalized. And you're probably going, I bet that he's the

Messiah. And this record just came out today, I'm presuming because this happened two weeks ago. This record came out, this record came out a week ago and it is, it is on my, it is on Gunt Muscle Bomb's new, on the new pressing that I've done with Gunt Muscle Bomb. Would you stop interrupting?

Okay. Do you want to start from the beginning? No, okay. If you can, sure. Sure, I'll start. If you can remember everything. Oh, I can remember word for word, Scott. I worked on this song for years.

I was outside of the general store. I was looking around. An old fella, he came up to me in a cloak of brown. Cloak of brown, cloak of brown. What's he doing? I said, hey there, fella. You know, I don't remember how I think it's pretty well okay yeah you gotta get into the hey man what's up there we go hey there

what's going on he said I've been gone for a thousand years that's right I've been dead gone two thousand Was there like a un... I'm Mormon, Scott. You came back a thousand years ago. I didn't know I did. Well, I'm a recent convert. It's probably since the last time I got on here. Something about Mormonism.

Why did you interrupt me there, Scott? Because that's right where it gets good. You nod at me next time and that's what I'm gonna interrupt. Okay, here we go. I it gets good. I'm sorry. You nod at me next time and that's what I'm gonna write. Okay, here we go. All right, go ahead. I've been gone for a thousand years. What's all this here?

I said, hey, you look familiar. Do I know you from a band? He said, oh no, fella, look at these dots on my old hands. The dots, they look like nail holes. And I said, that's quite odd. I knew another fella that had those very same holes. He said, yes, I think you know who the hell I am. I said I thought I knew until you said the word right there. He said, what word I said hell, the guy I'm thinking of wouldn't say that. He said, oh,

I can say anything I want because I'm the guy that's dead. So I said, Jesus, what the heck? I'll guess who you are. He said, that's exactly who I am. I said, you've gone too far. Pete That's the nod? Scott No, no, no. Pete You really clearly like gave me like a big nod. Scott I did? Pete It seemed like it. Scott Oh, that was a knowing nod like, now you know, right, Scott?

Okay, I'll continue. This old fella here, he said, I'm the Jesus Christ. I said, are you the one I know, the one that's mighty nice? Okay, I gotta stop. What, Scott? This conversation, you keep going over the same subject matter over and over. That's mighty nice. This, okay, I gotta stop. What, Scott? This conversation, you keep going over the same subject matter over and over.

Scott, the subject matter is that Jesus Christ came back and I was the only one who recognized him. Can we stipulate that he's Jesus Christ already? Not yet, he hasn't quite confirmed it. Okay, go ahead. I said, hey there, fella. Are you the guy I think? He said, who's that guy?

I said, the one not over my sink. He said, what hangs over your sink? I said, an old, old picture of a guy with the crown of thorns. Is that you? Mr. What? Why'd you say Mr. there? Because it rhymes in picture, sort of. Well, he's about to say he's... See, this is the thing, Scott. He's about to say, I don't go by all those gendered terms anymore, and that's one of the

reasons that I don't like it. Okay, I don't want to hear the rest of your song, Ben. Well, Scott, I don't think... This whole song is about how Jesus Christ came back, no one recognized him but me, but then we get into a big fight about pronouns. Okay, well I then, I don't know Glenn, first of all the song was very rambling. Mary Elizabeth, what do you think of it? I mean, I like how it ties in with Tootsie.

I'm not quite sure how, but I'm sure it gets there. Oh, it gets there. So after it's, well, I didn't even get to the hook, Scott. Oh, good. There's a hook in this song? Absolutely. Everybody loves the hook. Okay, well, hit us with the hook then. Jesus Christ is back. He's not white, He's not black. Jesus Christ outside the liquor store, but no one knows Him anymore. Do you want the hook now?

That was not the hook? No, that's the preamble to the hook. Well, that's kind of the bridge. It's like the pre-chorus? That's the pre-chorus. Okay. That's what Joni Mitchell used to call it too, Scott, right before she would come in for round two. She said, are you over, that the pre-chorus, let's start the pre-chorus,

and then she'd jump in right between me and Jackson. Hmm. That didn't work for you? All right, go ahead with the hook then. We're waiting for the hook. It's good. What? Seems like a very different style of music.

That's the, well, you think this gets it. Well, this is, do you remember the band that we referenced earlier from San Diego? Uh, no. What were they called? Oh, oh. Black. Black. Black, yes.

This gets, it gets a little blacky at the end. Oh, okay, let's hear it. ["Blacky"] Jesus, he's got it going on. He's got it going on. Jesus, he had a heart mom. Were you clapping Mary Ellen? Mary Elizabeth, yeah. Oh, Elizabeth, sorry?

Mm-hmm, yes. Were you clapping for that part or were you just clapping? Just clapping, just really getting into it. Just saying, wrap it up. Yeah. Just wrap it up. This sounds like a third song. This was the third movement of the song, Scott. Okay, so it's a suite.

Yes. Sort of like bottle of red, bottle of white. And he can change, oh, actually, that's a good idea, Scott. He could change wine, he could change the wine at the liquor store back into water, and that's how I'll know it's Jesus. Did he do that? Well, I haven't written that part of the song yet, but I think that's a I'll know it's Jesus. Did he do that? Well, I haven't written that part of the song yet, but I think that's a... No, but this is... I thought this was something that happened to you. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's happened to the character in the song. A lot of times, Scott,

you'll write a song from the point of view of a character. Did you know that? Every song that Bob Dylan ever wrote, he was playing a character. Okay. I don't know about that, but... Yep. I thought this was literally something that happened to you. It was literally something that happened to the character in the song who I call Gary Williams. Why are you calling Gary Williams? Just because he's the character that I created that this happened to. All right, all right, go ahead. Let's see, where was I? You were the third movement.

And you're considering making changes about him turning wine back into water, which is like- Oh, right. Do you mind if I make a change mid-song? Yeah, go ahead. Go for it. I don't know why anyone would want water. I said, Jesus Christ, I'm drunk. I've been drunk for a thousand years. He said, I can help with that. I'll assuage all your fears. He said, you don't need that wine, boy. You don't need that wine. And he turned it into water. And now I'm feeling fine. Okay. What do you mean, okay Scott? That's a song about Jesus Christ coming back and curing a man's alcoholism by changing

the wine in his hand back to water. You've been drunk for a thousand years? Yeah, that was when I threw in there and I didn't really mean to say a thousand years, I meant to say about 40 years. But Gary, you know, it's Gary Williams. I don't know what's gonna come out of his mouth. He's a strange guy. Gary Williams. When I sing from the point of view of Gary Williams, you never know what's gonna happen. He's a weirdo. Yeah. He's been drunk for a thousand years. That's right. Well, Glenn, it's a fantastic song. I think we hit on some

good things today, Scott, even though you never interrupted me at the right place. Nor, and the questions you were asking about the Scott, or about today, Scott, even though you never interrupted me at the right place. And the questions you were asking about the song, Scott, all seemed like fact checks. And just remember, you have to give artists artistic license. That's a good point. When a cop pulls me over, that's what I show them. Your artistic license. That's right. How's that work out for you?

Not well. I don't have my cyber truck right now because they told me I can't drive it without one. And yet you're still on the side of the cops. Still on the side of the cops, Scott. I always back the blue. Okay, great. Well, we need to take a break. When we come back- From that?

What? From that? From that. Oh, okay. We need to take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Mary Elizabeth Alice, we're gonna have more Glenn Plappinger and a very world famous author. This is exciting.

We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back, Mary Elizabeth Ellis. The show is called A Man on the Inside. And I mean, if you know, read differently, that could have some naughty connotations, couldn't it? It could. I put it as my note on Instagram and felt that I

needed to then- Add a content warning. Let people know. Yeah. Yeah. That's not what I'm talking about. Yeah. Although we all enjoy a man on the inside every

once in a while, don't we? Most of us. Yeah. Why not? I don't know of all of us. I mean, I'd say 99.9% of us. Give it a shot. People who think that you don't-

Try it out. Try it out again. Yeah, exactly. Glenn Plappinger. Speaking of a shot. People who think that you don't, try it out again. Yeah, exactly. Glenn Plappinger. Speaking of a man on the inside. That's right. I've been on the inside and the outside, Scott, but I prefer to stay on the out.

That's right, yeah. And we have a very exciting guest here. I mentioned Creepshow earlier. He is the writer and creator of Creepshow, as well as other books that are maybe more popular than Creepshow. We have, of course, Carrie. We have It with Pennywise the Clown.

On writing. On writing, yes. On writing. Stephen King on writing, yes. One of my favorites. Why is what, you just call it on writing. On writing. On writing. Have you ever read one of his books? Oh, I never, the only one I've read is on writing, yes. One of my favorites, why is what? You just call it on writing. On writing. On writing.

Have you ever read one of his books? Oh, I never, only one I've read is on writing. Why, why would you be interested if you've never read? Well, I'm a writer, Scott, I have to write these songs. As you could hear earlier, I'm always thinking of what's the best way to say something. There were strong King vibes coming through those lyrics. I was definitely scared of a lot of that.

Cujo about the demonic dog, Christine about a demonic car. Basically, if there's anything in the world that can have a demon in it, he's put a demon in it. Please welcome for the first time on the show, Stephen King. Hi. Hello. Hi. How are you? I'm, if I'm going to be honest, I'm actually doing really bad. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. King. That's okay.

That's okay. I wanted to come in here and do some pleasantries, but I just, I feel like I have to be totally upfront. I'm doing pretty bad. I'm so sorry. I mean, do you need to go take care of something? We, I mean, we have Glenn Plappinger here with his guitar handy who could do probably, you know,

20 more songs to close out the show. Sure, I mean, I put it down, but I can always pick it back up. Sure, I mean, it's at the ready. That's right. What do we say at the ready, I mean? I've got it in the holster. Yeah, I mean, by the way,

that's a very large guitar holster. Thank you. I wear it across my chest like I'm in one of those old cop shows. Yeah. It's sort of like a bandolier. Yes. Bandolier.

Um, Mr. King, everything okay? Do you need to take care of anything? No, I said I'd be here. Um, I said I'd be here. I'm, I'm going to be here. Um, honestly, maybe, maybe, um, maybe you guys could help me. Oh, yeah. Do you need to talk it out? Mary Elizabeth Ellis, maybe you've seen, I mean, have you guys could help me. Oh, sure. Yeah, do you need to talk it out?

Mary Elizabeth Ellis, maybe you've seen, I mean, have you ever done like a horror thing or anything chilling? Have I done? I mean, I wrote and directed a short film that was pretty scary that you've probably seen. It's doing film festivals, so I bet you've seen it. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm always, I'm actually at most film festivals.

Yeah, I thought I saw you in an audience. Yeah, I wear in every audience. I wear a big hat and a cloak, so nobody sees me, cause I don't want people to get nervous that I'm there. You wear the big hat and the cloak, you're that guy who looks like Ben Helsing at every film festival.

Correct, correct. That is me, Stephen King. Well, what's going King. Watching your movie. Yeah, what's going on Mr. King? What can we help you with? Well, I'm on a deadline. I'm on a deadline. I'm on a tight deadline.

For actors by the way, if you're on deadline, that's usually something good. That's great, yeah, you're excited about it. Yeah, because it's announcing a project, but for you being on a deadline. It's not good, it's not good. I need to write 10 new stories by Thanksgiving. By Thanksgiving?

By Thanksgiving. That's this Thursday. Yeah, that's soon. I don't, remind me, Scott. You don't want to know when Thanksgiving is? I, well, it's stressing me the F out. You can curse on this. I mean, you curse in your books.

I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't wanna scare anybody. So you have a deadline to write 10 new books? Are these novels? Or fordeadline.com? They can be anywhere. It can be a novel. It can be, it has to be above 3000 words. Maybe I just write 3000 words.

But I need an idea. And I should rewind a little. Yeah, what's going on? I mean, it seems like you're very prolific. What's going on? Why do you not have ideas? Well, all right. So I don't know. Let's rewind. You started in media res. Yes. Now let's go backwards. Well, I know I write. I talk a lot about where my ideas come from. And I usually, I say something like I thought of them while I was getting dressed. Yeah. It seems to me like you look around a room and whatever's in there, you go like, what if the devil was in that? Well. Like it was cell phones? One time?

Yes. Yes. The JFK assassination? I wrote a terrific one where the devil was in your, a Kindle. Yeah. That's very scary. What was the devil was in your kindle. That's very scary. What was the devil in in on writing? Well, the details. Oh, yes.

I guess he was on cocaine at the time. It's interesting you bring up the devil because that actually has a fundamental relevance to my deadline. Oh, okay. What's going on? Well, I owe the devil 10 stories by Thursday, or I will be sucked into hell. So- Oh no.

I know it sounds alarming. What kind of bargain is this? Did the devil write all of your big, huge, successful- Close. Novels? Close. And this is sort of the bargain? Close.

How close am I? Very close. Well, I wrote all my big, successful novels. It sounds like I was very close. And you wrote The Devil? Also close, but no, I know The Devil. Did The Devil write on writing? No, but he actually gave me some very helpful notes.

Oh. Yes, there was a whole chapter in the middle about what I eat when I'm writing and the devil said, that seems interesting to you, but actually not to anybody. That actually is. It's sort of my note with a lot of your songs. Yeah. The book helped me a lot, especially with what to eat while I write. Yeah, the devil is a ruthless editor, but has had some good insights over the years. Been around. What kind of deal did you make with the devil here? Well, many years ago, I ran into the devil. I met the devil and I made a deal with him where he offered, he told me every single

thing I write will be a success. As long as I write one million stories by Thanksgiving 2024. 2024? Yes. Tale as old as time? Yes. Yes. So you've written now 999,990 stories at this point,

and you just have to write 10 more? Just 10 more. Just 10 more, but I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I keep having the beginning of an idea and then I can't find the twist. I can't find what makes it scary. Do they have to be good?

The devil said they have to be good enough they could sell to a magazine. Oh, okay, yeah. And there's all sorts of magazines, of course, but there's gotta be something. There's gotta be a nugget. So maybe we could help you flesh out some of your ideas? Yeah. Yeah. So, and there's all sorts of magazines, of course, but there's gotta be something. There's gotta be a nugget. So maybe we could help you flesh out some of your ideas?

I mean, I would love it if you don't mind. I don't wanna take up all the- Yeah, please. Please. That's absolutely- You're deserved. Hit us with them. Well, I don't know. I've been spit balling and maybe,

ah, is there something where, okay, a man is retired. Okay. That sounds pretty good. Okay. He loses his, I don't know, his wife, but he's a widow. He's a retired, he's a widow. Widower, yeah. Widower, that's right, okay, that's good.

Okay. That's good, call him a widower. with that's right okay that's good okay that's good call him a widower uh and he needs he has some family they want they want him to do something with his time and i don't know he goes undercover at a retirement home i mean but he's the devil or the devil's in the retirement home he could put on retirement home oh okay it's The Shining, but you know, like only killing old people. He could put on ladies clothes and try to get his kids back. Oh, now that, okay, that I like actually. That I think is really, really good.

Sure. Devil in a retirement home. Putting on women's clothes. See, that's what people would expect from me. I think that putting on women's clothes just could be a pretty fun twist. Sure. They did it in Tootsie. I love Tootsie.

I love Tootsie. I love Tootsie. Did you know a Broadway show? Did you know that, Scott? I did. Did you go? I did not go. Did you go?

Sure. I was there opening night. So the last movie you've seen is Tootsie. Last Broadway play I saw was Tootsie and then I saw Hamilton. Oh, okay. Yeah. I, I saw Hamilton with the new cast. I didn't like the original cast.

Oh, okay. Good. Good. Yeah. I, I, uh, I mean, there's one, right? You just, nine more? Yeah. What else you got?

You got any other ideas we can? Well, see this, this is the problem. I have, I have one, right? You just, nine more? Yeah. What else you got? You got any other ideas we can? Well, see, this, this is the pro, I have, I have so many half ideas. None of them, I think none of them are good. I was thinking, what if there, what if there was a ghost in the sewer? What if there was- So you're returning to the sewer. Yeah. The witch, I tried a witch in the sewer, um, but she

couldn't get out because of her pointy hat. That's a problem. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's not, it renders her, uh, unscary if she can't get out because of her pointy hat. That's a problem. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's not, it renders her, uh, unscary if she can't get out of the sewer. Yeah. She's always going like, Hey, can someone help me widen this? Would you hold this hat while I climb out?

You could put Nancy Pelosi down there and watch the country go down the drain. Um, was it, is that a joke? No. Okay. He was dead serious. He's shaking his fist to the heavens. Put her down there and then the country is going down the drain because they're following her.

Oh, she's probably sucking it down there somehow with her. Oh, okay. I like the idea of an evil force sucking something in the drain. You were just talking about the well. Like, oh, I guess I'm going to be sucked into hell. You could write something autobiographical like this about when you met the devil. He said he couldn't, he said no.

That's the one thing he wants to show out. The devil said I can't write about our encounter. I could share about it, but he said I couldn't make it a story. We met at a Red Lobster. Ooh, yum. Yeah, the devil. Does he only eat at places that have red in the title?

That's correct. Because he's the devil? Yes, yes. Red Robin. Yep. Unlimited fries. Would chilies count? That's a great question. Chilies are red sometimes.

They are red on the sign. It is a great question. I've asked him, because one of the times we met up, I suggested a chili's, because I got tired of Red Robin and Red Lobster. And he said, no. Interesting. Yeah, he said, just seeing the color red,

because a lot of restaurants have a reference to the color red or the color red on the sign even. Yeah. Does he have an aversion? Could you hide out in a Chili's or maybe like an Olive Garden and he wouldn't be able to find you? Like you hopped from Olive Garden to Olive Garden?

Oh no, no, I really haven't. I have not thought about shirking my deadline, but escaping the devil. Because he does have a lot of rules about where he can and can't go. He can go... What are some of the other rules? Well, like I said, it's places where Red is in the name. I'm trying to think of another one with Red in the title. We did Red Robin. We did Red Lobster. There are some local places. There's the movie Red One, if it was playing maybe.

There's Ricky, there's Ricky Rollins House of Raclette. Yeah, we talked about that one. Oh, that's great. Oh, is that, is that a liquid cheese? Only in Camden, Connecticut. Oh, okay. Yeah, Raclette cheese. It's just, they'll melt some cheese

and put it on anything you want. It's a drive-through. Oh, wow. Oh, that's terrific. That's their one problem. That's their one problem. Put it on anything you want. It's a drive-through. Oh, wow. Oh, that's terrific. That's their one promise. That's their one promise. Put it on anything you want. Well, they only have the cheese in the window. You bring anything to the window,

they peel the cheese onto it. A shoe. Oh, shoe, sure. Shoe, dog, mother, whatever. And your Cybertruck will keep it warm for you. Cybertruck doesn't fit through the drive-through, unfortunately. Oh, damn. Too wide. Damn, too bad. That's too bad.

Too wide, too tall. Some would say too long. All right, well, let's do some quick, just free association. Okay. Look around the room and we'll just name anything and we'll say how it can be haunted. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Look around. Name anything. Guitar.

Haunted guitar. There's a folk singer. His guitar is haunted and tells him that he'll be the most famous folk singer in the world. Not a story, I lived it, Scott. Can you write that by Thursday? Can the strings wrap around his fingers and chop them off? Sure. Of course. I can write it.

What else is in the room? Okay. The window. The window. Windows 95. Computer. Okay, okay. Computer is a haunted computer. Oh, great idea.

I've never thought about a computer being haunted. Oh, Scott, this is terrific. But you've got mail, bitch. You know, it says to you. Oh, the B word, very scary. Very scary, would Freddie would say it? Oh, that's honestly too scary for me. I haven't seen Freddie. What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say?

What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say?

What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say?

What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? What does it say? Yes, I got very scared. If I don't write it, it's too scary for me. All right, what else is in the room? What else is in the room? Um, a ceiling fan.

Ceiling, ceiling fan, ceiling fan. A ceiling fan, suddenly the devil possesses it, it gets lower and chops off people's heads. Oh, does that feel a little derivative? You bury the ceiling fan in a cemetery and then it comes back. Oh, I like this. But it doesn't make things cool anymore.

Now it makes things hot. It makes things hot because you fall in love. Yeah. Yes. With the devil. With the devil who's in the ceiling fan. I feel like we're losing the plot of this one. I don't know. So this is a volume business.

Not everything I write is scary. Sometimes I write the green mile. That's right, yeah, Shawshank Redemption. Shawshank Redemption, it's heartwarming. You wrote that? Yes. Really? Yes. Where have you seen this?

Yes, it's a- Because it came out after Tootsie. Well, that's, I know, I've never seen it, but now I might go watch it. It's a beautiful story about friendship. Maybe the ceiling fan is a friend. To the computer? To the computer.

You could always do a- Wait, they can't be in the same story because then that makes two stories one. Yeah, okay, name something in the room. A gun, a gun, a friend. To the computer? To the computer. You could always do a- Wait, they can't be in the same story because then that makes two stories one. Yeah, okay. Name something in the room. A gun, a gun, a gun. A gun, yes, this gun. Yeah.

A gun, this gun? This gun right here. My gun. Oh, you love to have a gun. What about my gun? I also have a gun. I have a gun too. Okay, so it's about four guns.

Okay, four guns. One of them's the devil. Yes, and the other three guns are like trying to team up against the fourth gun. High school friends. Yes! High school friends. They haven't seen each other in a long time.

Three guns that are high school friends. I love that. Two of them are in love but never said it. Yeah. Yes. And one's the devil. And I love this. This is finally a movie I would watch.

Talk to Mike Schurr because this seems actually like a sitcom. I'm writing it all down. This sounds like the real. This is the first podcast I've ever been on where everybody pulled out a gun. And you can't even say that anymore. It's definitely a story or a show or a song. That's right. It is a song.

Yes, yes. Well, I mean, we're halfway there, right? Yes. Halfway through the podcast? I'm so- Just three more hours. My God. Oh, thank God I came here. It's almost as long as my Jesus Christ song. All of you are so smart. Halfway through the podcast? Yep. Just three more hours.

Oh, thank God I came here. It's almost as long as my Jesus Christ song. I think this gun idea is really the one to go with. Me too. It's a Thanksgiving episode. I have ten stories. Well, couldn't you do ten parts of the gun story? No, the devil said no.

What does the devil get all the good story? No, the devil said no. That's installment. What does the devil get? What does the devil get? All the good music. Give the devil some pushback. That's right. He's honestly smart and has really good taste. All right. Wow. Well, look, we've given you some good ideas.

These are really good ideas. We're running out of time, unfortunately. Oh, no. Oh. Oh, a hunnid turkey. How are you? A hunnid turkey. Yeah, thanks for coming.

Raw or cooked? Raw. Okay, that's for sure. You thought it was cooked, but it's raw. That's very scary. And everyone gets sick. Yeah, just do every holiday. Haunted Christmas, haunted Fourth of July, haunted Rosh Hashanah.

Oh, that's good. Yeah. Okay. Haunted Cybertruck. Or how about something even scarier than that? Medicaid for all. Okay. All right. Look, we are running out of time.

We can't keep pitching on this. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is of course a little something was Plugs by Levi and His Loose Lips. Thank you to Levi and His Loose Lips. That was great. If you have a Plugs theme, head over to CBBworld.com slash plugs. There you'll find everything you need to upload it. And you could be famous for a week in Levi and his loose

lips, you are all famous. And guys, what are we plugging? Mary Elizabeth Ellis, what's, what do we have out there? Obviously. We got a man on the inside on Netflix that's streaming now. We got red one, which is in theaters and shooting season 17 of it's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. That's right. Are you guys, you're shooting it now or?

We are. Wow. How's that going? It's grand. It's so fun. You think just in the middle of the season, you guys are just going to go like, hey, let's quit. I mean, not me. What do we do? What are we doing? But yes, every year they decide that they're going to quit and then they end up doing it again.

And then it's great. I know, but like in the middle of this, instead of like doing a whole season and then deciding, just quit in the middle. Yeah, just put our cameras down and walk away. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like two episodes in, just go like that's- And the last episodes are just the floor with like people's feet. Yes, I love this. We'll pitch it. All right, we'll look for that next year, I would imagine. I believe so. Okay. Glenn Plappinger.

Howdy, Scott. What do you have to plug? Oh, I thought we were I believe so. Okay. Glenn Plappinger. Howdy, Scott. What do you have to plug? Oh, I thought we were starting the podcast. Oh no, wait, you thought this was all before the podcast? I thought this was the pre-show banter. Okay, no, we're done almost. Oh, did you want me to play my actual song? Well, I'll do it next time.

Okay, we'll get it next time. But do you want to plug anything? Oh, sure, Scott. Well, folks can follow at HeyGregHess. I've got some stuff there, some new shows, one with Rob Hubel that is called Cattle Call. It's a fun show where actors get to audition for movies that already got made.

Maybe we'll do Tootsie. That would be great. Yeah. And what, you're in this show? I know the guys that are doing this show, so I'll just plug it for them. And, um, yeah, and you can always listen to mega the podcast, which is a great podcast about a fictional mega church.

All right. And Stephen King. I mean, obviously you want to plug your band. You want to plug your novels, the dark tower movie, Salem's lot on Netflix. So you got, you can't, can't forget creep show. Starting Ted Danson's show. Yes. Yes. I just check, you know, give me a Google, check me out. Say there's something for everyone. Yeah. Just Google and close your eyes.

If you can spare a Google, close your eyes, point to one thing and give it a read or a listen or a watch. And if you don't like any of that, you can go to the internet and you can go to the internet and you can go to the internet and you can go to the thing and give it a read, or a listen, or a watch. And if you don't like any of that, you can check out at Madeline Walter on Instagram. That's an account you follow? Yeah, it's an account I follow. It's a terrific account.

There's not much on it generally, but if you want to check out a live comedic essay reading show, I think there may be a link to it. It's literary, which I like because I'm a writer. Sometimes it's at night, which is inherently scary. I mean, you're halfway there. I want to plug, hey, we have our last big live show of the Comedy Bang Bang 2024 tour. December 13th here in Los Angeles at the United Theater on Broadway. And-

Broadway. That's right, we finally made it to Broadway. I love Broadway. Yeah, you've seen that one show, or you saw Hamilton. I saw two shows, but I loved it. Yeah, that is December 13th. It's the ultimate live Comedy Bang Bang experience. We got so many great guests,

Paul F. Tompkins, myself, and a lot of special guests. The Hey Randy Show is opening for us. That is Friday the 13th, December 13th, and this is gonna be a huge show. I wanna see you all out there, and tickets are going fast, so make sure you get one of the last ones. You can get tickets for that at cbbworld.com slash tour. It's our last live show for a long time.

So you're going to want to kind of want to want to be there. And while you're over at CBB World checkouts that there's a bunch of great shows over there that you can look at, you know, all about them. All right, let's close up the old plug back. You mentioned a plug back and then maybe we can remix this. Alright, let's close up the old plug bag. You mentioned a plug bag and then maybe we can remix this? Party! Plug bag!

Plug bag! Plug bag! Plug bag! Pssst! That breaks me so bad. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- If it's so long that Mary Elizabeth starts checking her messages, it's probably too long. But I loved it. It was thanks to Colby Big Bobal with, that was the song, Egg Egg Plug Bag. Thank you so much to Colby Big Bobal. And guys, I want to thank you so much, Mary Elizabeth. Welcome back and welcome to the Two Timers Club. Very exciting. So happy to be here. Yeah, let's make it three if your career ever kind of fizzles out. Comes back from, bounces back from this. Yeah. From what, this curse that we've given it today.

But continued success and looking forward to those back three of a man on the inside. Can't wait to see episode six. Can't wait to hear your feedback. That's right. And Stephen King, you've been typing this entire time. That's right. That's right. I'm halfway through the opening of one story. Which one?

The one about the four guns? Of course, the one about the four guns. Four guns who are best friends. Two of them have already kissed. Lots of good tattoos. Yes. This is a good one. This is going to be so good, the devil's gonna be like,

you don't need to write the other nine. We've all got points on the back end of this sitcom too. I've made some contractual calls. Oh, I love that. And Glenn Flapinger, you're picking up your guitar. Hi there, Scott. Oh, do you want me to play it? You're the one picking up your guitar.

Oh, yes, I'll play us in. Here we go. Yeah, play us. No, no, the show's over. Oh it is. Play us out. Yeah, please. Oh, all right, here we go. This time I'll turn on the mic. Okay. The last one I think I had to do. This guitar goes so out of tune just by putting it down.

It's your guitar. Oh it is. I had no idea, yeah. Go ahead. Uh. of friends head out on the road but one gun shoots the other and the other goes away that is the story that was told bang bang bang bang that's the four guns bang bang bang bang look how they run bang bang bang bang look how they roll It's the four guns in this oldest story ever told You didn't cut me off

Shabon would sound really good If you ever want a license, yeah, all right. We'll see you next time, thanks, bye!