Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Name A More Iconic Ocho (Asif Ali, Lily Sullivan, Tim Baltz, Shaun Diston)

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

Asif Ali is here promoting season two of “Deli Boys.” He also addresses his previous broken promises, fan retribution, and then makes even more promises! Will he keep his word this time? Boat Boys Harris Teeter and McGarth Darby announce plans for their extra-special 4th of July BBQ and boat party. And Mike Ruby, The No Stank Plumber claws his way back from the rock bottom of addiction! Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Eating back, bang, bang, comedy bang, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang. Comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang. Eating well, though I smell like hell. Welcome to Applebee's. Welcome to Comedy Bang bang. Thanks to Euripity Shorts. Oh, catchphrase superstar, Euripity Shorts. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Ackerman. Coming up on this show, we have a couple of water enthusiasts.

We also have someone who works in janitorial services. So this is... This is a big day. This is an all-star show. For government work? You think he works for the government? I think so. Yeah, this is a city job.

That's a city job. You think janitorial services. that's exclusively city work. Not exclusively, but that's where the best are. Okay, so when you have an issue with your toilet... I go straight to the... City Hall. To City Hall.

And I go, show me where the toilets are. I got to talk to some. Oh, wait, so you're just taking dumps in City Hall while they work on your toilet. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I understand what you're thinking. Yeah, it's like when they fumigate your house and then you go to a hotel. Yes, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you say fumigate the house, I know what you're talking about. Hey, come on, come on. All right, let's welcome here. He is our guest of honor in A Block. He is entering the very, very exclusive three-timers club on Comedy Bang Bang. I've heard bad things about this. His career is not going so well. Look, almost everyone in the world is in the Zero Timers Club.

Okay, that's fair. And 100% of the people who do not live on Earth. Whoa. As well. If there is alien life out there, none of them have appeared on Comedy Bang Bang. So that's the easiest thing to get here. Yes, yes, yes. The One-Timers Club, that's pretty exclusive.

Yeah, I've heard. Because a lot of people want to come back, but I either say like, no. But you know, the two-timers club, which you were in before, that's also easy to get into because even if you stink it up the first time, I go like, well, maybe they were having a bad day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The three timers club, your career's on the down swing, my friend. It seems desperate. It does.

Damn it. Especially since your first two episodes, both were in the best ofs of last year of comedy. of last year of comedy banking. That is a rare feed. I don't know that a lot of people who have entered the first time club, yeah, of course. People are excited to see him. Oh, yeah. O'Connor O'Brien, oh, yeah, we'll automatically vote for his thing.

But both of your episodes? Hey, man. And he is entering the three-timers club because season two of his show Deli Boys is premiering May 28th on the FX Network. On Hulu! Uh-oh. God damn it. This is the type of three-timer behavior that I was worried about. At this one, I don't care.

I can tell the honeymoon phase is worn off. Is it not on FX though? It's Hulu, yeah. So they've taken it off of FX? It was never on FX. The effects channel. It was always Hulu. It was just always Hulu.

But was it developed for FX? I don't know. I don't know. I think just Disney Hulu. Yeah, yeah. We all love FX. We all love FX. That's name something. shows we like on FX.

Oh, sure. Terriers? Terriers. We love Terriers. That's everyone's first show that comes to mind. Even the people at FX, they're like,

I hope people are talking about Terriers. I think they acknowledge that was a huge mistake cancelling that after. I mean, Deli Boys, I'm going to introduce you in a second.

That has a second season and Terriers never got one. Wow. So we like Hulu better than FX, don't we? We do. Please welcome into the exclusive three-timers club.

Asifali, back to the show. Say it ain't so. I'm here. You're here. And you have your deli boys poster up. I do. Yes. I have all the swag that you have so graciously sent to the house. It's kind of crazy with some weird stains on it, but I'm excited about it. Yeah. Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited you're here. Thank you. Let's take the listeners through your history on the show. Yes. The first time you were ever on the show was our first time meeting. Yes. We had a good time on that show. And during it, you made me. You made me. a promise. I did. Yeah. You made me a promise that the very second you hung up the phone call that

Deli Boys was either canceled or renewed. Yes. You were going to call into Comedy Bang Bang and leave a message telling us, telling our listeners the news first. Yes. Yeah. And exclusive. Yes. And exclusive. Now, cut to several months later, I'm reading the trades as I am want to do in the morning. Yeah. Trying to figure out where I fit into this new showbiz landscape. Every morning before you talk to your wife and child, you check the traits. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Am I referenced in them? No. Okay. I guess I don't have any deals. And I am, I'm thunderstruck by a certain article. Yeah. That says, Deli Boys renewed for season two, I assume, oh my God, awesome doesn't know.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No one's told him yet because he promised me he was going to call. Yeah. I then read a quote in this article from you about how excited you are, whatever the fuck you say in these things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I realize that you have betrayed our listeners. Yeah, I betrayed your trust. Is that an accurate recounting of it up to this point? Unfortunately, yes, that is 100% accurate. I made a promise. I broke the promise. By the way, I feel like I said exactly what Rachel Maddow says when she introduces someone.

I think that's her kink is for people to say, oh, no, you got it exactly. You got it exactly right. So that is accurate. Yet, you came back. Yes. And this is to your credit. Yeah. Like a deli man.

Yeah. You came back. Hat in hand. And you apologized to not only our listeners, but to me and to the American public writ large. Yes. And that, that impressed me. Yeah. I have to say.

That took a lot of, as we say in the business, Cahonis. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just felt really bad. So I wanted to apologize not only to you, but also to the global CBB fan base. And I was also, to be honest with you, scared of retribution. Yes, because that has happened on this show before. We have taken out a few people in show business before. Yeah, people don't know this, but CBB fans, there is a portion of them that do resort to violence. There is a CBB bump that we all have experience in our life. When you come on this show, you see a little uptick in the ratings. Unfortunately, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

And when CBB fans are mad at you, your ratings can plummet. A couple of people tried swinging on me because I do do stand up and so I'd be hanging out like at the comedy store and the patio or whatever. And I remember I got swung on. Yeah. I got swung on by God. Now, you're not talking about swing like in swing kids where they're doing swing dancing. No. No.

No, Boodle skirts or anything like this. No, no, no, no. It was just a gentleman that had a tote bag on, which should have been my first sign, that he was a CBB had. And he took a swing at me, and I sort of, you know, I sort of... Do you say anything like, you know what you did or anything like? He said that after security was sort of like holding him down. Oh, holding him down.

I thought it was holding you back. No, no, no. They're holding him back. And they said, and he kept saying, you know, he knows what he did. He knows what he did. And then... And you did know, right? I did know.

And it kind of struck me at that moment of, like, Like, man, I really, I really have to get back there and set the record straight. Is that your promise to the listener that if anyone sees you out there in the wild, one free shot? Okay, yeah. It's kind of like Houdini, how he died. You know how someone punched him in the stomach on the street? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know what?

Sure. Take a swing at me. Make sure that it's not a sucker punch. Sure, yeah. That I have some sort of... What is your definition of a sucker punch? A sucker punch is sort of like, kind of like what happened here. Like, I opened the door.

Mm-hmm. And I was like, hey, what's up, guys? and you sort of you sort of nut punched me. Yeah. Underneath like from the back, you sort of got in there and sort of just. That's the best angle. Yeah, yeah. You sort of got there and nut tapped me.

And you had your GoPro strapped to your head, which I thought was weird. And you sort of nut tapped me and you said, I got to download this footage, by the way, to the website because this is gold. You got to go video. Yeah. You got to go video. So anyone can hit you at any time. Yeah. But only once.

And after, if they come at you a second time. That's legal. that's that that's legal for you to retaliate or okay yeah yeah this is this will be held up in a court of law yes an actual court of law and also can I say something after we after I did apologize on the show I said that I if anyone came up to me I would apologize to them and I did that twice in Chicago really so be yeah yeah so two people in Chicago when you were were you filming it there yeah I was filming came up to you and they said hey you owe me an apology and I and I was like I I'm so sorry one time I was I was with people who did not know what had happened.

Who didn't know the whole saga? They didn't know the whole saga. And I usually download everybody that I meet. Yeah, of course. And I apologize and they were like, what was that about? And then I had to tell them the story. And they go, that's so stupid. Yeah.

Little did these two people know they could have given you one free shot. They could have punched me in the mouth. Yeah, they could have taken a swing at me. Well, we're happy to have you back. Deli Boys, season two is on, I almost said FX again, but it is actually on Hulu, Disney on Hulu. depending on where you are in the, well, I mean, Disney on Hulu here in the States as well. Yeah.

But it's May 28. It comes out. Another 10, is that what we have? Another six. This industry is... Brutal. It's brutal. Snippy, snip.

Yeah. I mean, I've heard of editors cutting shows, but networks. I know. I know. And I wanted to ask you, Scott, like, how have you been getting your fix? Because I remember when Deli Boys came out, you were like, finally sort of my search history and my television preferences have sort of... combined.

Yeah. How have you been sort of getting that thing? Do a lot of deli related searches, a lot of boys related searches. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like brown boys plus food. Here we go. Yeah, but here we go is important. You got to put that in quotes.

Yes, what you don't know about Scott is when he types in nasty searches, he writes, here we go. There should be a Google search, by the way, that's just Google nasty. Yeah. Or Google after dark or something like that. Oh, wow. Because I'm tired of mixing all the searches up. Yeah.

You know, where like the predictive text, you know, is like, do you? mean this? It should know. Not on this Google. I don't. Not during the day. It should know after April. Once the sun comes down,

what type of search is you're doing? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, yes, I,

of course, watched the entire season, and we all know, uh, what exactly happened to the two characters. Yes. We can all name off the top of our heads.

Yes, yes, yes. At the end of season one. Uh-huh. What is going on with these two? Very specifically named characters in season two. So, uh, Raj and Mir have been, which is on your shirt, which is crazy.

They are now dealing with the ramifications of having a successful drug empire. What do we do with all this money that we have? Now this, if you haven't watched season one, I would say go stop this shit. Pause it. Not even pause, just stop it. Who cares? Go watch season one. It's a great season.

It starts. I mentioned this the first time you were on the show. It starts in one way. It zigs and then it zags. It became a totally different show than what I thought it was setting up. And it is a very compelling viewing. Thank you. And so like this season with our auntie, lucky auntie, who is sort of like the violent enforcer of the show.

Who's the actor? Porna Jugga Nogginathan? Yes, she's so good. Incredible. We are trying to figure out, okay, what do we do? You know, how do we handle this money? And then we come into business with one of our many incredible guest stars, season. Fred Armisen. That's right. Now, this was part of this article I read in the trades of it. It was

picked up for season two. Yes. And Fred Armisen is part of the cast now or guest star. I don't. For this season, he's a series reg. Okay. So he gets killed in episode six. Is that where we're- We don't know that. You don't know that. Why would you say that? I mean, I don't know why you felt it necessary to reiterate. It was only this season. Because we don't know. I'm living in the present. And every season is a gift. Just like every time. I come on this podcast is a gift, you know? How many episodes are you doing next season? Three?

Honestly, I would love that. Yeah. Three hours? Three hours, yeah, yeah, yeah. Although that's six episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you, and this sounds like a great setup for season two, by the way. Sure.

Is our friend Timbalts, he was in season one? Is he in this season as well? Now, now Timbolts, we love Timbalts. here so we can be honest. Yeah, let's be honest about him. I think it may have been like a scheduling thing or maybe. Meaning we scheduled Fred Armisen in all the days that we should have scheduled him. And sort of the contracts that would have been thereof spread out.

Competing contracts, yes. All combined and sort of. Look, you can't have two alpha dogs in a show. What I was told on set was I, because I made a big deal about it. I sort of went up to people. I was grabbing sort of lapels. So you're on set. So you got all the way to filming before you ever even asked about Tim.

Before I even remembered. Yeah, I went up and I sort of grabbed somebody by the lapels and I said, where is he? I said, where is he? Yeah, where is he? And, you know, they first of all said, I'm catering. I don't know what you're talking about. And I said, where's, where's Tim? Where is he?

And then it snapped in for them. And it sort of snapped in. And they go, oh, Tim Bolt's America's favorite Tim Boltz. And they said, frankly, he was pulling focus. Oh, which a lot of times you want a crew member to be doing. Yeah. But not one of the cast. They said, frankly, and I was texting Bob Iger at the time simultaneously.

Oh, good. But I just wanted to rough someone up. You know how I am on set. Yeah, of course. You're a monster. Kind of a bad boy monster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was texting Bob and I said, hey, what's up?

And he knew. Yeah, yeah. He was like, awesome. He was like, oh, about him? He goes, awesome. How can we never catch up anymore? And I go, Bob, enough. I don't want to hang out.

I want to talk business right now. And I go, where is Tim? Where the fuck is Timothy? And he goes, oh, Timothy, because he only knows government names. Oh, right. Because he's writing checks and stuff. And he said, frankly, I think he was coming for my job. And what people don't know.

No, no, no, Bob Iger's job. Oh, Bob Iger's. A lot of people don't know is that Tim was on the sort of executive track. Shortlist? Yeah, he was on the executive short list. Oh, I understand it. Because you've got to beat that down. This is like when you go to prison, you got to just punch the strongest guy in there first.

Yeah. And so I understand just saying like, you know what, Tim, not today. Not on my favorite show, Deli Boys. Not on my favorite show. And so that's just in between us. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of.

Let me unmute your mic now. Okay. Good. Okay. Everyone's been listening to silence for the past. So on the record, who knows. Who knows what happened? It's so crazy.

It's a crazy industry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Well, that's good. We have a season two of Deli Boys, and it's funny. It's thrilling. Thank you. It's violent. Yes. There are people in it. They're about half the cast are androids, I believe, or cyborgs, right? Is that the promising? We employed a lot of robots. We wanted to get ahead of that. The season we saw where technology was leading us. So we have about three or four of those Tesla robots. Oh, good. Oh, good. Yeah, I love those guys. Yeah, and you love that company. The one's a tip over all the time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have that one that you see on. internet that dances and then has a seizure. Do you have the one that kicks the guy in the nuts? Yes, we do have that one too. We also have the one that people push.

Okay, good. That people push around a lot. And so it's a lot of robot heavy stuff. Oh, good, good. And the entire season, I want to say 92% AI. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, so everyone has like six fingers. Yeah, so what we did is the writing team of the show.

They sort of got together and they sort of typed in a prompt. And kind of like how you do at night. You kind of go like, Brown Boys, Delly Boys, sweating, Philadelphia on all fours. And you sort of let, you know, AI do its thing. Yep. And so they did that with the season. It came out.

All of the episodes were written. Oh, good. Within like 20, 30 minutes. And then what they did is they went on vacation. Good, good. They went on vacation. And they hit up like, I think it was like somewhere in the Caribbean. Oh, fun.

They went on a huge bender. They visited, honestly, they visited Epstein Island. Did they really? I don't want to. Was it still up and running then? Like Neverland was for a long time? They don't know because they were tripping so hard. Oh, okay. They saw stuff, but they don't know what the, oh, okay. If it was real. What was real? What wasn't? Yeah. They're officially saying they went there to scuba dive.

Oh, okay. That they were just snorkeling, scuba diving and that kind of thing. But they definitely were there. And then they came back and then we're sort of in production. Oh, okay. Well, that sounds like a great process to make a TV show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the actors are robots and then, yeah, okay. This sounds great. Deli Boys. So Fred Armisen is actually like sort of a robot? I've heard that. Fred's a good friend of mine.

Oh, that one's on the record. Okay. We have Camille Nangiani. Oh, my goodness. Your best friend? Love him. Absolutely. A big friend of the show.

I bet he's in the eight-timers club. He's in the eight-time. I have some hope. I have some hope here. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, yeah, he's doing great. You think I should get jacked, Scott? If you finish that sentence with off, then I am in.

Okay, hell yeah. Hell yeah, that's easy. Kumail, no, Kumail, oh my gosh, let me count these up because this is a lot. Eight? One, two, he's in the ten timers club. That's insane. Yeah, I mean, he was on, his very first episode was in 2010, early 2010. So do you think it turns around at ten?

because now he's doing like White Lotus and Fallout. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, he had some rough years with those Eternals. So I have to prepare for that. Yeah, three to seven is going to be a huge dip in my career. Yeah, you're going to get jacked, you're going to be in a Marvel movie. I wonder what you'll play. Yeah.

Yeah. Huh. Who could you be? Interesting. Who would you want to be if you were any superhero at all? I would like to be night crawler. Yeah, that would be cool. Yeah.

This is my official like attempt to get night crawler. Yeah, you could be in the, total Alan coming pipeline where you do nightcrawler and then you start hosting a game show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that would be awesome for you. Come on. It's a good idea. And I think also, you know, with this lull that I'll have, I'll have plenty of now that I know it's going to be a lull, but it'll turn around at the end, I, you know, I won't go through like a bender phase. I love this. I'll figure it out. Can you say the word lebschen? Leapshin. Yeah. He says that all the time. Yeah. Lebschen. Lebschen. Leibschen. I think it's a

Liebchen, I believe. Leibshin. I have no idea. He just says that and he says, ah, all the time. Cool outfits. He's German. Yeah. How do you feel about playing a German?

Honestly, at this point, I'm okay with it. How much time has gone by? You're all right. I'm not really concerned about being on the right side of history anymore. Well, this is great. Deli Boys is out there and then the X-Men franchise. What else do you have in the future? I would love to come back to the Marvel Cinematic Universe as my character.

Norm from Wanda Vision. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right. You are in Wanda Vision. You're one of the nosy neighbors who's under whose spell the Scarlet Witch. I'm also a co-worker of, yeah, of Paul Bettney of Vision. Oh, that's right. Yes, yes, yes.

And he's got his show coming back. He's got his show. Are you in that? I'm not in that show. They've already cast it. They've already shot it. Fuck. I know.

This is what happens. Right when I was like signed, right when you were like, hey, you want to do episode three, all of these opportunities fell away. The industry can sense the desperation. Yeah, this is bad. You got to stop coming on this show. I know, I really do. Or try to cram your next six in.

Okay, really fast. Really fast. Over the next six weeks. Yeah, just the next two months, you'll be our main guest every single time, and then you'll be over the hill. Or over the hump. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that.

I can do that. Wow. Well, Delhi boys, this is a very exciting time in a young boy's life when this television show comes out for a second season. There's nothing like it. And do you think that like I should, like for this press run or like... Oh, you're doing a second press run? We're doing a second press run.

I never got a second one. You never got a second one? Season two came out and they were like, we're good. We talked to this guy already. They're like, we talked to TV guide. We're just reprinting the article from last year. Yeah. Yeah, we're doing a second press run.

Okay. And I was just wondering, you know, because you're somebody that's established in the business. Yeah. Is there something that you think I should do on this press run to kind of make an impact that that could maybe reverse this curse of the business? Yeah, well, you've got to make a lot of promises, I think. Ah, okay. About what's not only going to happen in this season, but what you have planned for season three.

Okay. We've been setting up this whole big conspiracy or something like that in season three. Just keep hyping that and, you know, and then at least you get like one TV movie to wrap it all up like Deadwood or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Be like, hey, you know, you're going to want to see what we have for season three. Yeah, do you have anything for season three? You know, there's somebody called the rhymes with Shmason Shemamo. Oh, I have no idea who you're talking about.

But, I mean, are you one of the writers? I can't remember. No, I'm not one of the writers. But I do come in there. That's fun. And I do come in there. For them. And I go, hey, I go, hey, guys, what the fuck are we doing here?

Part of my language. I get in there and I go, hey, guys, what the fuck are we doing here? They must love you. And I knock over, I knock over the closest iced coffee. I knock it over with my right hand. Left hand is pointing. I always point with the left. Good, good.

And you're doing a dramatic point, too. You're not doing a comedy point. Comedy point is two fingers. You're doing the dramatic point. I'm pointing at each of them. And I go, hey, you think I got to where I'm at? By eating Mendocino Farms? And having a lukewarm ice coffee.

So you think these people are on the writer to actor on show pipeline? Yeah, I feel like everyone I meet is on that pipeline. Yeah, quite honestly, yeah. And so I'm sort of reminding them and I say, hey, you want to get a beard like this? Get your shit together. You make me look good. I make you look good. By the way, your beard is so long and scraggly.

It's like you've been on a deserted island. Is that because of the show? Or did you film like Castaway 2 in the, uh, during the break? That's what you're going to want to see up season three. Oh, okay. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stranded on a desert island.

Yeah, it rhymes with Schmastaway. Schmast away. I'm still, have no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With Schmielsen. Schmillson the small. Yeah, yeah. And, um, and so, yeah, it's going to be, you know, I, I, I feel like what my, I, I feel like,

What my sort of reputation in the city is, is he instills fear. He rides a motorcycle and you don't want to fuck with this guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was taking a look at your hog outside, by the way. Wait, which one? Also, your motorcycle. Hey, come on, come on.

Am I right here? I wish you had a bell. But you are Hollywood's bad boy. Thank you. We have Hollywood's good boy Jack Quaid on the show. Yeah, I'm Hollywood's bad boy. You two sides of the same coin. Yeah, I'm smoking cigarettes.

Uh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, long ones. Like, Ruella DeVille in the holders? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Real long ones. We're in that Dalmatian coat. Like, when I put it in my mouth, you have to light it.

You are just doing like Corella DeVille cosplay. That's what I've noticed. And I was thinking maybe that should be like my move for press for season two. It's just come in with real mean guy attitude. Yeah, exactly. Because we love a bad boy, don't we? We love our anti-heroes. Oh, or actually, I was thinking maybe I should go full bad boy and should I go full Shia LaBuff?

and start fighting people in each city that we're doing press in. Sure. No, that's not a bad idea. I didn't know. I didn't realize you were not doing full bad boy at this point. You know, I thought. So what are you at? Like 80%?

I'm at 80%. Well, I'll go and I'll be verbally abusive. Yeah. I will sort of comment on people's outfits and I'll be like, oh, interesting. Negatively or positively? Negatively. Bad boy behavior right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The words will sound positive, but my tone will be negative. Let me hear an example of this. I'll be like, hey, Scott, good day for a button down. I honestly, that made me feel good. And I'm so... I don't know that you're having the effect on people you think you're having on. Because people, they keep writing you into the show. They write you good parts.

I feel like you're just going in and complimenting people. Let me hit you with another one. Hey, Scott, way to be in your kid's life. Thank you. That's so nice of you to notice that, I mean, I work hard at it. So I'm going around and I feel like I'm devastating these people and they're seeing me and they're being like, damn, dude, this guy, I mean, you hate to love him. You hate to love him.

I don't think that's what's how. I think that people really do like you and that they're writing you parts. Let me hit you with one more. Hey, I guess I got to help you across the street. In what situation are you saying that? I guess the context is important. I'd say you're like a hot-ass 85-year-old woman, like a hot-ass 85-year-woman. And I'm just like, I guess I got to-

Dropping my groceries on the ground. Yeah, no, this is a nice thing you're doing. Calling her hot is maybe a little over the line. Are you saying it out loud or is that just in your mind? No, I say hot. I say hot. Hot ass. Hot ass.

You say that to the woman that you're helping across the street? But it is the summer. Okay. So she thinks you're talking about the weather. Maybe, maybe. But I know that I'm getting choked. You're getting a motion. Oh my God.

Just thinking about it. Thinking about this 85 year old woman that you're sexually attracted to. Yeah, because I had to, I had to, I spoke at her funeral. No. They invited me to her funeral. She passed away since you telling the story. you are. And I was there and I said, you know, I said, I guess I guess I got to put you to rest. God just earned another angel. God just earned another angel. But I rolled my eyes.

You think he earns angels? Yeah. I don't know why I said it like that. He works. He works. He works hard. He works so hard. He works so hard. He gets to kill a lot of people at the end of the day. Hey, this is another CBB promise, Scott. If you do pass away, I hope no time soon. I will, I will do five minutes of stand up. at your at your funeral. That are themes about me? Yeah, there'll be about you, a tight five. Okay. Or about a topic of your choosing. Do you want to pick a topic?

I'll pick the topic. Tell you what, I'll pick the topic. I'll put it in an envelope, a sealed envelope. Oh, fun. You open it at the funeral. Yeah. And then you have to do five minutes just riffing on whatever topic it is. And if I die before you, you have to do five minutes of a podcast.

Okay, sure. At mine. Oh, oh, at your funeral. Yeah, and I'll give you a topic. Okay, yes, that's a deal. That's a deal. We have a deal. What if we die simultaneously when we're on one of our many escapades?

When you're on the back of the hog and we're ripping down Franklin being like, hey, man, we got to do a 1230 spot at UCB. Those guys on Franklin with their hogs doing the wheelies. Have you seen them? Jesus. Get the fuck out of here. We take a wrong turn crash into the Scientology Center, just like we plan. Or a right turn. Oh, shit.

If you know what I mean. Hey, man. Crash. Welcome. If we die simultaneously, then the bet's off or do we get someone else? to do exactly what we were going to do. I guess we'll just fucking, you know, just have fun in heaven because we're both going. That would be so fucking awesome.

You and me both in the heavenly band. I'm telling you. Jimmy's on guitar and Bonham's on drums and Hitler's on bass. We're just fucking ripping it, man. Absolutely. What are you playing in the heavenly band? I'm playing anything by the band 311. Hell yeah.

Chopper, tap it. The rapping guy. Oh, yeah. Man, when Peanut dies, though, he's probably going to say, he's going to tap you on the shoulder. Like, you're at a ballroom dance. Like, may I go in? May I cut in here? But we hope that's not any time soon. Not any time soon. We love Peanut. But I'm so pumped. I'm so pumped about season two. I'm so excited for everyone to see it.

And, you know, for season three to, you know, for me to get that news and to be right back here. Yeah. Do we have another promise? We're making another promise. We're shaking on it. I worry that the first time you're on the show, you thought it was a joke. No, that's crazy. That's crazy. I've never made a joke promise.

That's insane. Okay, because I was deadly serious about it. I'm very serious. I think it would be very, very funny for you to hang up the phone and call me. Immediately. And I will, when I see that, what do you want me to do? Answer or not answer? I...

You want to leave a message that I play on the show? Yeah, I don't want you to answer thereby a lot. allowing me to leave a voice message. You could also just text me a voice message or something. Okay, I could do that too. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, and I'll play it here on the show. Okay.

And this is for real. For real. When you, when season three is greenlit, for however many episodes that is. Yes, yes. Your first call upon will be me. And you'll let the, and I don't, by the way, I don't have to play it until the news is announced. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I'll hold on to it, whatever we need to do.

Okay, okay. I need you fresh in the, the, the, the, the flush of, oh my God, we got another season. I want that excitement in your voice. You're going to get it. Daddy, you're going to get it. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to be right here. And you're going to console me if it's bad news.

I will. And we're going to party if it's good news. And if it's bad news, I'll still play the message. Hey, and that's a CBB promise. Yeah. At your lowest of low, we will play it. But only because you're going on to great things. You're playing nightcrawler.

Yeah. You're doing everything. Well, season two of Delhi Boys, I'm very excited. I love season one. It comes out May 28th on the Hulu. Yes, that's right. Disney on Hulu. Yeah.

And we're going to take a break. Can you stick around? Absolutely. We have a great show. We have a couple of water enthusiasts. We have someone in janitorial services. Come on. I'll talk to that guy.

We're going to be right back with more Osavali. We're going to be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang! We're back, Osafali. Deli Boys. Come on. Season two is out May 28th. Very exciting.

That is a Thursday or a Friday? What day of the week? That's an insane way for me to find out you're on the spectrum. Somewhere around there, is it? Okay, the 24th I know is a Sunday. 25th is a Monday. 26 is it Tuesday. 27th is a Thursday.

It's a Thursday. And we love a Thursday premiere. Don't we? Because Thursday, that was the reason that all of the most popular shows were on Thursday is because movies opened up on Fridays and they got a lot of advertising. What's the reason now? I think now it's a Wednesday. I think people like a Wednesday hump day.

So Wednesday midnight when people are at their lowest. Everyone's busy on Wednesday hump day. They're out having margaritas on Taco Tuesday. Thursday they're looking around going, what the fuck do I do today? Well, what we're thinking about is maybe on that Wednesday after you're absolutely trashed and smashed. Now it's like 1 o'clock in the morning. And now you're laying in bed, completely nude, dripping and whatever.

And you're like, hey, what do I? Juses, be them artificially made, manmade, be them manmade. Hey, come on. High five. And so we want you to turn on your TV and be like, I got to unwind in a way. But what time does it go live? I think midnight. Oh, midnight on Wednesday?

Yeah, midnight Wednesday. So like, we're talking even 9 p.m. on the West Coast on Wednesday? Maybe. I don't want to, I'm not a time. Let's make another promise here. No, no, no. It's not out at 9pm West Coast. You'll leak the episode.

Yeah, find my Vimeo account. It's going to be all on there, all one long episode. So just Thursday at midnight, yeah, it's just right there. It's going to be there. And I want you to watch it. And I want you to kind of like, you know, hold the person you're with close. Yeah. That's important these days.

A lot of people don't, you know, a lot of people come on this show and they plug their, oh, I directed a movie. Oh, I'm a movie star. No. You're like a TV guy. I'm a TV guy. But a lot of people are like working in movies. But they never say, you know what? When you go see my incredible movie, hold your loved ones close.

There's a loneliness epidemic, Scott. There really is. And I want these fucking losers to hold the person that they're with and, you know, take advantage of that moment. You're a person they're not with. Or a person you're not with. Yeah. Yeah. Just if you're part of the male loneliness epidemic, you know, get out there and find someone you don't know and just grab them.

No, no, no, no. Unless it's me, don't do it. Unless it's me and I've failed my promise, do not do that. All right. Well, very excited for the show to be out. We need to get to our next guest. They are the two water enthusiasts I was speaking about. They have been on the show before.

Please welcome back to the show. The Boat Boys, McGarth Darby and Harris Teeter. Harris Teeter. Magart Darby. Name a more iconic duo. It's us, Scott. That's the thing that you say at the beginning each time, and one of you missed it. Who missed it?

I didn't catch that. One of us missed it. He was you, you were McGarth? I thought we were going to do a Quattro. At McGart, Darby. Harris Teter. Osifali. Scott Ackerman.

Name a more iconic Quattro. I like that word. I like quattro. Now I understand the confusion. That feels good. It does feel good. Three-timers club. We are also in three-timers.

This is your third time on the show? This is your third time on the show. D, Twa. Not even more iconic three. Uno Dose, Trio.

Pick a card from the deck, any card. Any card you want, you're holding the three of clubs. Oh my God. That's an incredible trip. Scott, have you ever had like a

Bloc and the guests also in the same club? Oh, no, that's true. Oh, okay, you're both in the three-timers club. I don't track really the insane people who are on the show. Usually after the first. Look, I tune out after A-block.

I'm gonna be honest. This is the first time that's happened? This is the first time you've had any club members? We are in a lot of clubs. I'm gonna tell you that right now. Which clubs are you in, MacArthur? Secret clubs. Secret clubs?

Secret clubs we cannot talk about. Is this like skull and bone shit? What exactly? Because you guys, you're both born of privilege. We're layabouts. Where are your boats located? Oh, you want a nom? Scott is, uh, looks like Scott's holding up a sign.

He's pointing to it. He's begging us. He's begging us. And the sign says, where are you from again? Please tell me. I need to know. We'll tell you, Scott. Up on sham creek, she shams me.

If I shim a creek, she sheds me. I don't have to shim. She creeps me. I don't have to shim. Shem Craig. Shim cro. Shemp cro. Oh, I love that.

Sham Creek, that's right. Shem Creek, located in Charleston, South Carolina. Now, I'm going to tell you how you get to Shem Crook right now. Oh, sure, yeah. Technically, it's in Mount Pleasant, a suburb, also known as Mount Plastic. That's right, because everybody gets so much plastic surgery. Oh, I see. Not because they have credit cards.

Well, they have those two. They'd be swiping. At bits of lace, they'd be swiping. Credit cards, plastic surgery. Name them more. Iconic. Go on, Scott. Say it.

Duo. No, that was a dose. Scott Ockerman, not enough confidence. Name a more iconic duo. Hey, yeah, geez. You drop that hard next time. So I would say, I have too much, more than my skills. Scott Ockerman, too much confidence.

Name a more iconic duo. Thank you very much. Now, you are both, you're born a privilege, and you're out there in South Carolina. That's wrong. So you being in secret clubs does not surprise me. That's right. I've been in clubs since I was just a sperm. Really? That's right.

That's right. Because my Diddy was in a club. And his Diddy was in a club before that. Our Diddy's scrotums were in a club together. The Scrotum Club. Whoa. Exclusivity. When you're talking about Diddy, you're not talking about the famous Diddy.

No, my Diddy and my Mimi. Mimi and Diddy. My Mimi and my Diddy. We love our mimies and ditties. And then we have my grand Diddy and my grand Mimi. Were both of your fathers in the scrotum club together? Oh, were they? Oh, yeah, they were.

Oh, they were. So you guys were conceived in one of these secret clubs? Who knows? We don't know. We'll never know where we were conceived. Now, if you had the power to go back and watch your own conception, would you choose to do it, I see if I'll leave? Your parents, fornicating, copulating, love making.

Your mom on top, your daddy on bottom. Oh, no, no. Your dad on top. Both of them. Side saddle. You picked the position. Maybe side saddle. They're rowing a boat now.

They're rowing the boat together. Maybe side saddle if they had the blanket on top. Are you worried, though, if you picked the position, then it wouldn't do the conception? I mean, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you really want to make sure it gets done, right? Yeah, I want to make sure that I enter this world. What is this tenant? What are we planning a tenant-style movie about Asifali's conception?

Don't get us started on the reverse farts and tenet. Like, cut them all. out of the final product. Well, there were so many reverse farts. You hear the fart going back into the butt. That's what Robert Pattinson tells him? That's right. Whoa. Oh, yeah. Reminding me that he was in that movie.

Yeah. Yeah. Scott Ackerman, dissing Robert Pattinson. Come on. Name him more iconic duo. Love him. Love his work. Scott, you land in Tarleston, South Carolina. You get off of the plane. This is what you're going to do. Okay. What are we got?

You're going to get in your rental car. It's going to be some kind of SUV Too big, Real nice and big Gas Guzzler Escalade, H3 Hummer Whoa Cybertruck Arriving to show that you're

A blue dot in a red state Okay And then what happens? And then you're going to take What road is he going to take? You're going to take the 526 into town It's going to dump out on Chuck Dolly Boulevard Oh, Chuck Dolly, we love Chuck Dolly.

Is he used to being dumped out on him? Absolutely. My God, one of the biggest cucks in town. Chuck Dolly. Oh, yeah. You're going to ride him. You're going to ride him all the way till you hit. Ben Coleman.

That's right. Then you're taking a riot. Now listen up here. Okay. You're going to be near the donut shop, which used to be called the fractured prune. Whoa. That was the name of the donut shop? That's right. It was called fractured prune, which makes you think of an asshole that was hit.

This asshole, Benoit Blanc style, this asshole has been hit. But that means you've gone too far. That's right, because you'd be in the parking lot. Why are you giving me directions to go too far? Give me the right directions. Yes, of course. They're going to make a rot when you see the fractured prune. Not a left, although you could go to the left to go to the Harris Titter or across the street and fill up your gas tank.

Right. But I'm trying to get to Harris Teeter, right? No. Wait, I'm not coming to see you guys. You're trying to get to Shamp Craig. Okay, but I want to go there to see you. Shim Kro.

Shagra. I presume I'm going there because I've been invited to one of your boat parties. Oh, yeah. He wants the invite. You want the invite to our big barbecue coming up. That's right.

Yeah, we got a big barbages. Did you say boat orgies awesome? Because as established, they don't have sex on the boats. No. No, we have sex on the dock. That's right. They masturbate on the dogs. We masturbate on the boats.

We have sex on the dock. I'm sorry. It's like your version of taking your shoes off. That's right. You don't have sex on the boat. Please respect the boat. The boat doesn't need to be rocking any more than it already is. And I won't come knocking.

No, you can all come docking, but you can come on the dog. Come docking. That's right. You can come to do want to come to one of the BBBQs. Okay. Well, a couple months ago, we had our annual date redacted barbecue, obviously. Oh, that's right. I remember went swimmingly. Yeah.

It went perfect. You had a good time? And you, and how are your pardons, by the way? Everything worked out? So far so good, no complaint. Have you reoffended or? We're always reoffending. Are we kidding?

Have we been arrested? No. Okay, got it. Have we been offensive? Yes. Speaking of pardons. See Scott's button down. Excuse me, I beg your pard on, but your outfit's giving me a hard on.

Come on. These are great come-on lines. We're freestyling. Come on. Come on, Jim Craig. She buttons down me. Taking my pants off. What were you trying to do?

I don't know. I glitched out, Scott Offerman. Don't get me freestyle and I will glitch out. Obviously, Scott, we had a great time at the Dietwarker's back there in the month that comes before February. That's five months or so ago. That's not while we're here, Scott Offerman. No, we got another part coming in. We're here for a new barbecue.

Oh. That's a couple months from now. That's right. Okay, well, you know, I'm going to be out there in South Carolina doing a show very soon. What the heck? In June. In June, oh, you're just barely going to miss it. What, it's in May?

Or it's in July? Oh. Let me throw a couple of dates at you. Okay. 1776, 2026. Name a more iconic boss, sesquicentennial. Oh, so you're having a party on July 4th. That's right.

Oh, yeah. Oh, we have it. Are we having the most American party you can have? You know who's going to be there, Scott? Who do we got? We got Anna Knapp. She's coming again. Who?

Anna Knapp. Anna Knapp. Who's Anna Knapp again? From the Knapp family. Sure. You remember her from last time. Anna Knapp in the night of life? I barely remember you.

Tough love. Tough love. And I'm not talking to the characters right now. Albert and his sons. They're coming. They're coming? Okay. That's right. Wow. Is he divorced? And Osco. They're coming to.

Jewel and Osco? That's right. Johnny Jewel and Oscar Osco. Johnny Jewel from Chromatics? Uh-huh. Whoa. Vons is going to be there. Johns is going to be there. Ralph's going to be there.

Albertsons? Dominic's going to be there. Oh, way. Sprats. Alde's going to be there. Al D. Haldi. Whole foods. More like whole paycheck.

I know you're going to have. You mean ho Le Foods. Yeah, he's going to be there. Okay, Ho LaFood. H-E-U-A-U-X. Yeah, and his cousin, 365,

he's coming to. Now he can freestyle. Oh, yeah. 3-6-5 will throw some bars out of you. Oh, my God. This sounds like an amazing party. Can I get an invite? Yeah, can I go to this?

I was going to ask you. I'm like, can I give you a plus one? Can we both bring plus ones? Can y'all handles sham crook and the pussy that comes out of there? Because let me tell you. Is there. Is there.

Is there. Is there dock space because I'm trying to fuck? Not to be rude, but I'm trying to fuck. Is there dark spice? Oh, yeah. Is there asking if there's dog spots? There's space on the dock to have sex. Yeah.

I'll bring like a blanket. You're gonna need a floatie. Oh. That's how much fucking pussy's gonna be. We're gonna get knocked off the dock by this good pussy. Now, do you think... So you better have some floaties on. Is it just because everyone's horny or because they've seen season one of Deli Boys and by that time

season two? Right. And it'll be pandemonies. It's going to be, I mean... I'm choking thinking about Pussy on Sheprae. Season two of Deli Boy. Season one of Delhi Boys,

I got something in my throat. Yeah. This is a hot-ass show. Yeah. Season two comes out, oh, I'm choking. It's so good. I'm choking.

My mouth is full of the penis. What? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, that didn't mean that. I'm in pussy. I'm in pussy. Well, I'm in. If that's what it's going to...

If that's what it's like, I mean, I've heard about parties like. this. Oh, it's crazy. We got pin the tail on Nancy Pelosi. Oh. Oh. It's one of those parties. We're playing darts with John Podesta's sharpened incisors.

What the? Okay. Wow, this is a crazy-ass part. We got all the shoes that Trump gave to his cabinet. All those shoes that don't fit them. The floor shimes? Yeah, we're going to polish those shoes together. And we'll have a bunch of markers so you can continue redacting the Epstein

files. Oh, wow. Wow. Any food, though? I mean, you said it was a barbecue. Oh, is it? Is there going to buy food? Is that what you just asked? Are you kidding? Yeah, I kind of want to know. Banana pudding.

Okay. Cold Slaw. Shit, this is all cold stuff. Yeah. My favorite. Daily meats. Yes. Night memorial.

Comic Trials. That one didn't have the verb, but normally. It wasn't ramping up. Yeah. Well, we're still building out. the menu. Okay. So you're a little

unsure about the, okay, but it sounds like you have three cold things. I was thinking about what we had in the fridge. Right. I was thinking we can make

a potato salad. Can you call it a barbecue when you're not actually barbecuing anything? Is there even a fire gal? Can you call it a barbecue? Barbecue's not about the menu. It's about the attitude.

I'm talking about a black and white cookie. That's right. Oreo. Is it a hydrox over there? I'm talking about a cereal that's in the shape of zero. That's right.

Terrios. Why are you talking about these things? These aren't iconic. That's why we're not... That's why you're not jumping in there. We're not tagging them. I'm talking about chips covered in taste. Nochos.

Wow. These are well-known, non-iconic foods. Right. So we have a limited menu. Can I ask you guys a question? Is there like a... All these foods, not to be rude. All these foods...

In combination. sound like it would be something that would really tear a person. It sounds like a colon stoppage. Yeah, so is like what is the bathroom situation or is there something you guys have like a fiber kind of thing to get? Yeah, anyone allowed on the boat to blow it out? No, no, no, no, no.

But we do have floating bidets on the creek. That's right. You get all washed out. Get your floaties out. And is that considered just like a dip? Like you just dip your ass? Is that just like a pool donut that you shit through the middle of? Or? Oh my God. This guy needs to go on Jeopardy because ding ding ding, he just

asked the perfect question. Million dollar question. It was worth it. They should have one question that's worth a million dollars. They should. And then if you get it, no one else can win. What is shitting in a floating donut in a creek? That's the million dollar question.

And that is what it is. That is what it is. Our favorite saying, name a more iconic saying, it is what it is. It is what it is. What we do is we lower you, your lower half just straight into that donut. And we, we hold. What do you do with the upper half?

Yeah. Oh, the upper half? You're giving some head. Whoa. I'm going to that pussy. And you're holding hands with fingers interlaced like Mike Vrable and Diana Rossini. I don't know what that is. Look it up.

Look it up. You're holding out of spelling. Like two. Look it up. Just like friends. You hold hands like friends do. There we go. Fingers interlock.

Oh, interlock. That's what best friends do. Look at us. Interlocking friend. Look at us. Look at us. You might as well call us. Mike Vrable and Diana Rossini.

Rossini. Nice. A more iconic do. You want to hold the lady that you're with just like. Weirdly that comes up in the... Didn't you just look that up? Okay. I mean, this is an older story, about a month old or so, but...

Uh-huh. But it's not every reference has to be ripped for. from today's headlines. No kidding. You guys were ripping references from so many old headlines in the A block, right? So you just thought you'd

button down shirts. Cold play concerts. You know Chris Martin never reached out to that woman from the Kiss Cam? He never did. Who isn't that sad? Well, I read that headline

like Chris Martin never reached out to me. Oh, he didn't talk to you a random person at his concerts. Right, who ended up on the TV? He didn't talk to either of them. He talked to the guy. He's like best friends with the guy. But it matters more.

He didn't call the woman. I bought tickets for the wrong night or the Rolling Stones, and Mick Jagger never apologized to me. Cover of People magazine. That's what it is. Anyway, what are you guys talking about? Let's see. Let's go through the roll of decks of what we talk about.

Good pussy. Good pussy. Food at the barbecue. The toilet thing. Toilet stuff. The menu. Oh, name a more iconic quarter millennial. What is this now?

Quarter millennial. Quarter millennials, Scott. Quarter millennials. 250. Oh, the sesquine centennial. By sesquicentennial. By sesquicentia. Or the cester centennial.

That's right. Our nation, she is having her birthday. What? What the fuck? Okay, okay. We've been counting down. Our nation is having her birthday. She's so beautiful.

She's so pregnant with democracy. Oh, she's wet as a sham crook fish. She's crowning. Do you guys feel like right now is the best, I feel like your vibe is this is the best America has ever been? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. But would I like to go back, sure. How far back?

I go back 150. Oh, no. Scott, I don't know if I can go to this. Yeah, I don't know. I'd go back 300. Oh, God. 300. Oh, that's kind of take.

Send me back. Send me back. With my boat. Can you imagine us rolling up. on Charleston Bay in our boats, docking 400 years ago. Just freaking happy to be there. Here are y'all? Well, I'm Harris Teter.

I'm Bogartorby. My mamorah comic duo. Why? I'm falling into the creek. Why are you falling into the creek? Because your boat doesn't exist back then? Yeah. We showed up. The time travel was too powerful.

I know. I'm in the water now. I don't know how to swim I can't swim Throw me a floaty You guys can't swim? They don't exist! They don't get sears! They don't miss my floating!

Throw me a piece of wood like Titanic. You guys spend so much time on the boat and you can't swim? That's crazy. No, we don't know how to swim. Swimming classes for poor people. It's right. We sink to the bottom like a stone of gold. That's right.

Only witches float. Is that how you've lost people in your family? That's right. It's an epidemic. in the Teter and Darby family. We go out on the boat, you know, we make the rounds on the boat, we say hi to people who were on the land, and then someone inevitably falls off, sinks to bottom like a big old piece of golden they die.

Oh, no. Scott, tell me something. Yeah, what's up? McGarth. You ever take a bunch of old colonial bricks and put them up your ass? I confess that hasn't even occurred to me to do that. You need to do that next time you're in Charleston. You've done that, McGarth.

Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Feels so good. McGarth's just tempted and fight. Gonna end up like his grand diddy. What happened to his grand diddy? Oh, he's still at the bottom of Shem Craig. Oh.

Just too many bricks in his ass? Too many bricks in his ass? Too many gold colonial bricks up there. So many brick. Scott, tell me something. Yeah, I have time for one more. Scott, please. Scott, we're losing steam.

We're losing steam, Scott. I know, I know. Cut us off. Scott. Wait, got us all. You haven't asked any questions about the food at the barbecue. I have one question. Oh, thank God.

Oh, this three-timers come to save these three-timers. Have you guys ever had a fight amongst yourselves that ruined or caused you guys to have separate. A rift in your relationship. Separate barbecues. Whoa. Well, yeah. There was that one year. What could have come between two great friends like yourself?

Two sex criminals. It was 2001. You remember. Absolutely. Which month? If I may ask. Month and day, please. In which particular day in what time?

It was on date redacted. Oh, no. Uh-oh. And what was the disagreement? We couldn't have been more at odds, Scott. No. Oh, it was such a dark day on date redacted. Oh, God.

What could you be disagreeing about on such a dark day? It was the opposite of a sunny day, Scott. It was a clouded eye. Got it. I don't know where the weather was like that day. We can go back through the almanacs. The sun was blacked out, Scott. Oh, it was bad.

Oh, it was dark. Okay. But I have to repeat my question. And you were just complaining that I wasn't asking questions. Dear God, ask better questions, Scott. Oh, my God. Help us out. What was the disagreement between you?

Well, so there I was in a grade school reading books to children when McGarth came in and whispered in my ear. Like the famous meme? Yeah. Memes. Hey, no, what is that? We don't have, we're not on the internet. Memes are for poor people. Don't worry about it.

Okay. Yeah. Okay, good. The opiate of the masses. I don't care. I'm a puppeteer, not a puppeteer. I leaned down to him. I whispered in his ear.

I said, something about that. I said, oh, my God. Can you believe that? That action redacted has just happened. And he just sat there, Scott, and he continued to read the books.

Oh. Eight? Eight minutes. Yes, eight minutes. Oh, my God. Scott, you were there. A more iconic amount of minute. One minute.

Two minutes. Three minutes, four minutes, five minutes, six minutes, seven minutes, eight minutes, name of more iconic Ocho. Seven to eight minutes is what I'm looking up. Wow. So I'm surprised I knew that. So what was the disagreement though? Yeah, what was the disagreement? Because it sounds like you guys were on the same page that this horrific thing happened in a date, redacted, place, redacted situation.

But what caused you guys to have two separate barbecues at the same time? This is one thing that unites you. I said, I'm going to throw a big barbecue after I hear that news. And I said, I'm going to spend eight more minutes finishing this story. Oh. So you just have the barbecue in those eight minutes? That's right. And a nap was there.

And a nap. Alberdonsons, was over. And Anap's whole family was there. Chuck Dahlie came too. Her uncle Tyca. Air one. Air Wong could not make it. Too busy crafting a $25 strawberry.

Yeah, I'm taking shots. Come on. Not that, Airworn. This is our gardener who's great at basketball. Oh, Air Wong. Air Wong. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

Come on. Last time I played with him, he dunch so hard on my face. He absolutely baptized me with his sack. Thank God we were on the docks. Oh, they go. You have a hoop up there, really? Oh, yeah. Right at the end of the dock.

Yeah. You better not miss rider left. Or you're going swimming with the gaiters. So this sounds terrible. I mean, for those seven to eight minutes. It's a picture of Biden's face. We dunk rod on it. Oh.

For those seven to eight minutes, you guys were in disagreement. You wanted to read. Lassens was there. You know, Biden's in pretty bad health when this comes out. Bristol Farms was there. Sure. RIP, Biden. RIP.

Sproutes. was there. Who else was there? Okay, we know all of the usual suspects. Scott, you ever go down on one of those horses that takes a old on a horse and buggy rowing downtown Charleston? I have not. No, I've never even

did the turn. You ever be the dumbass and sons and downtown Charleston? I have not, no. The buggy's too full. There's a spot underneath the buggy. That's perfect for you, Scott. So you just hold on to the other side of the horse? Cut us off before we tell you what it's all about. Okay, yeah, I do

look, we are running out of time. Oh, fuck. God. Like, Jesus Christ. Scott, running out of time. It's crazy because this is the only episode where Scott's recording to tape.

Yeah, exactly. I'm just taking a look at the tape elapsing. Yeah, yeah. I know we're running out of time. Are you going to come to our Boston Squiss Continial? I believe June 19, I'm out there and I'm not returning.

June 19. Uh-huh. You're not going to stay? No, I have to move on to another city the day after. I'm so sorry. But can I still come? Oh, absolutely.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to be there because, Scott, you never stop doing press. Yep. And if I can get one more person, whether they be a pervert or not, to watch Deli Boys. That's it. Yes. I got to, this is a grassroots campaign. You're going to be out there to all of these grocery magnates.

Yeah. Just begging them to watch. I'm the Zoran Mundani of going to questionable locations. Oh, no, who that was that you just said. Ah, well, I'll show you a picture. picture. No, I don't want to see no. Just show her a picture of yourself. They're not going to know the difference. Oh, did you just misgendered? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm disgendered you. Remember I love to gender people. You're a man. You're a man. I'm a man. Okay, I apologize. But look, we are running out of time. We need to take a break. Can you stick around, though, because we have someone in janitorial service next.

Grassroots, Morlock. Yes, dude. We can stick around. Good job. All right. We're going to come right back. Good job. We're going to have more with McArthur, more Harris-Deeder, more Osavale. We're going to be right back with more comedy bang-bang-bang after this. Comedy Bang-Bang,

we're back. Osavale of Deli Boys, season two, and you want to shout out any of the other cast members? Soccer shake, porn jug of nothing, Fred Armisen,

Kumail Nanjiani, Lily Singh, does he play someone with muscles? Like, does he? No. He plays just a... So he's not typecast.

I'm worried about him. I'm worried that he got fit for the Marvel thing, and then now he can only play... No, he just plays like a really funny lawyer. Lawyer. Who works out four hours a day? Yeah, I guess. We have 12 micro meals.

We had six episodes. We didn't have time. I had a four-episode arc where I just sort of sat down with him and sort of just figured that out. Yeah, figured out what his daily routine is and how to keep a... going. Yeah, yeah. We didn't have time to figure that out. That's too bad. But yeah, it's a great, great cast this year, and I'm excited. I'm excited for you to see it. I cannot wait to see it.

May 28 is when it comes out season two. We also have McGarth Darby and Harris Teeter here, the Boat Boys themselves. The Boat Boers. Marst Darby. Harris Titter. Meir Darr, Rajdar, Baba Dar. Name more Dar family members. Go ahead, Scott, name them. I don't even know those. Name them. They're from the show Daily Boys. They're on your shirt right now. That's right, yes. I have the full call sheet on my shirt right now.

Go ahead, read it off. Scott, read it off. Number two, Osif Ali. I believe we discussed that on our first episode, didn't we? I'm number one in the call sheet. I can't wait to see y'all at the barbecue. I can't, well, I don't believe I'll be there, but Asif will be there. I will be there.

July 4th. I'll have merch. I'll have merch tote bags and stuff like that. I'm talking about black and white cookie that's been on the floor of Florio. that's what I'm talking about Well we need to get to our next guest He's been very patient Sitting here listening to all of this nonsense But this is a serious guest

He's been on the show many times before I don't know he's more than the third timer club I have to Yeah I've been here at decent amount Yeah but he is of course he works in janitorial services Is that what you call it or just plumbing is more of an accurate That's what you seem to call it all the time But it's just it's plumbing

I work in one janitorial service Does janitorial services imply you do it for a bigger building or for one location? I'm a plumber, Scott. You're a plumber. You're a plumber. I'm just a simple plumber. That's right. Please welcome back to the show.

Mike Ruby. Yeah, Mike. Oh, that's right. You sigh a lot. Well, no, Scott, I came in here with a good mood, Scott. But this has been a difficult episode to listen to. Why, what's going on, Mike? Yeah.

Well, Scott, you guys are mentioning hot ass. Yeah. Yeah. That could be triggering. You guys are mentioning, you know, Alan coming. Yeah. Yeah. That happens occasionally in a toilet.

Yeah, sure. You guys are mentioning sticking bricks up your ass. Yeah. Colonial bricks. Colonial bricks. I don't know the difference between the colonial brick and a normal. Are they softer? They're older.

But, Scott, you might think maybe these are all bathroom-related things and they're triggering to me. Right. That's what I assumed. That's what you might have assumed, but you make an ass out of you and me. Oh, I'm sorry to do that to you. Why does it make an ass out of me if you're assuming? I know. I don't understand that phrase.

Leave me out of the whole equation. I love stand-up comedy. Now, Scott, the reason this has been bothering me and I've been sitting here quietly, of course, Scott is... What's going on? I'm in recovery, Scott. No, Mike. You're in recovery for what? I mean...

I'm a sex and love addict, Scott. No, not you. Mike. That's right up and going to Sla meetings. No. No. We all know Mike. He's the no stank plumber. He guarantees that There'll be no stink when I do your plumbing. That when you show up, you'll smell good.

I will smell good. And when I leave, your house will smell good. Right. And, but Scott, of course, is the last plumber in Los Angeles. That's right. There was something. Someone Oh, yeah. All the other plumbers in Los Angeles have been killed by a serial killer. He was getting revenge because of L.A.

Flyers, of course. Oh, no. Which you started, as I recall. Well, that's still being figured out in court. Yeah. But you can't incriminate himself. Yeah. As the last, we'll redact that pot.

As the last plumber in Los Angeles, Scott, I've been getting my dick wet, if you will. Hell yeah. In the toilet? No. You dunking that thing in the toilet water? Wow. I do have to make sure that my penis does not dunk into the toilet when I sit down on it.

But I have to hold it up. But no, of course, I've been having sex with a lot of women who have been calling over. Because people have a plumber fetish? I think people are just like, hey, look at this guy. He doesn't smell. I can see his ass crack. Let me see if I could have sex with it. Okay.

So you didn't have a love and sex problem before all the other. No, no. This has been a recent thing. I've been on an absolute bend of scott. This is a recent addition to your lore. You can say that. Okay, got it. When you talk about my lore, it's like every time I come in, there's something that

slightly tweets by the line. says my name at the end of every sentence. That's right, Scott. Sure. Now, you know, but I'm in recovery, luckily, so I've... So you realize you had a problem. Yes. Do you remember hitting rock bottom?

I hit rock bottom when, of course, I was having sex with three women who lived in a ding-bad apartment and Little Armenia. At the same time? Well, no, they were all in their bedrooms and they would be like, all right, now me, now me. And I have to get up, walk to the other bedroom, stop pumping and a pumping. Whoa. You need a doc. Yeah.

I need a dog. One stop shopping. I need a dog. Well, I don't like talking about docking either. That's another thing that's triggering for me. Yeah. That, of course, Scott, is with two penises connect by his foreskin. Right.

Wow. Now, you did that during your... Scott, I don't want to get into my exploits, but I will explain my rock bottom. I was having sex, and I was walking from room to room as they were trading me off like a little sex doll. Okay. And I glanced over to the toilet, and I realized I hadn't even gone into the bathroom. They called me over to do some plumbing. I didn't even see their bathroom.

You did steps one through four, if I remember correctly. I think it was probably steps one through six if I were to be clear. But you never went into the bathroom. The last few steps were completely abandoned Scott because I was generally just fucking the people that were calling me over. I'm so, so sorry, Mike. That sounds terrible. And so that was rock bottom for me. Yeah.

I mean, it sounds great. I would kind of like to do. Anytime I explain that as rock bottom, everyone's like, what are you complaining about? That sounds pretty amazing. And they were paying me. I didn't even have to fix anything. They still paid you for being a plumber. Yeah, they would leave a little envelope on the top of their dresser,

and they would say, like, we left a little something for you over here. And unlike some sex with random people, it was actually emotionally satisfying. Oh, yeah. I would go in there and I would, like, stroke them, and I would say stuff like, you're worth it. Yeah, but you're good. And then they would say. And it would make you feel good. And they would say to me, you're such a nurturer and I'd leave just feeling so fulfilled.

Yeah, but the worst part about this, I did not do my job, Scott. I did not hit the bathroom. I'm so sorry. So were you leaving these places, having had great sex, but the bathrooms are still in total disrepair? And sometimes because of the sex, I would go in there and, you know, when you pee with a bono, you piss all over the place. I haven't found that to be true. Oh, really?

Oh, yeah. You guys know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Like me, myself and Irene. Yeah. Yeah, he tries to piss. He pisses all over to fucking bathroom I was leaving the place dirtier than I was

getting in there, Scott. And... Both of you see that at a very specific age where you remember? Oh yeah, it's one of the formative memories. Absolutely. That's a Jim Carrey clock. That's one of the bathroom scenes that got me into plumbing, Scott. Okay, sure.

ISP is so hard out of the boner that it knocks a picture off the wall. Yeah, I think it hits him in the face first of course. I believe that's a good. 1999 movie, I'm trying to guess your age. Don't worry about my age, Scott. Were you born in 83? I'm but a simple.

union guy, Scott. Yes. Now, Scott, of course, because of this, I've been going to meetings and I've been, you know, sharing my story. I always feel like the temptation with those meetings are you're going to meet someone else who likes to have sex as much as you. Oh, that's happened many times. Like, I go into the meeting, we leave.

The meeting turns out. The guy leaves, you know, the guy running the meeting turns into a straight up orgy. We had to tell him, you have to stay till we all leave. Right. Yeah. So, you know, he stays late. We all kind of are like, oh, you know, you can go. And he's like, I'm not going to go.

And we're like, no, no, no, it's fine. We're just going to talk about us. No, we promise this time. We promise, you know, and then he goes into the bathroom, comes back with jerking each other off. Damn. So, of course, Scott, I'm in recovery. And of course, because I want to get back to doing my job, Scott, I have. So you haven't been doing your job this whole time.

I am getting back out there, Scott. I feel healthy enough to start working again. So the toilets in Los Angeles must be a mess. Oh, it's abysmal, Scott. Yeah. I don't know if you. I don't know if you heard, but there was a day that all the bathrooms in Franklin Village weren't working. I didn't hear about this.

Is that true? From Gelsons, from Gelsons to UCB to the Taco Place next door. And I would say, somebody walked into the UCB theater and said, oh, all the bathrooms are backing up with shit. We should probably cancel the show. Even at the show. Even at the Oaks. But they didn't cancel the show? They ran the show.

And nobody could be. Even that one-seater in the UCB with the door that doesn't quite close? I believe shit was backing up in that bathroom and they were like, let's do an improv show. Either that trash room in the back where there's all those dumpsters and stuff and the performers hang out. Oh yeah, and it smells like absolute shit

from the bird's kitchen. Yeah. So, Scott, you keep saying so Scott like you're getting to your main point. At what point do you get to like your thing? Let me get to my main point, Scott. I'm getting back out there and of course I had to tweak

my 11 step. process. Okay. Okay. Now you understand. Now I'm my comfortable ground. Okay. You had to tweak your process to accommodate the fact that you're in recovery now. As everyone knows, I have a patented 11-step process for cleaning bathrooms or doing, you know, whatever plumber does. Any kind of work. Yes. But I've had to tweak them because of my sex and love addiction, Scott. So good to reiterate your premise. I love that. Thank you, Scott. Hey, man, that's just good storytelling. Thank you. Do you want to reiterate the premise of this podcast? You used to have an 11-step process. Uh, that you have modified now that you're in recovery

and we're gonna hear these steps. I just wanna review that with you, Scott, to see if you have any notes. Okay, great, I would love to, yeah, I'd love to give my two cents. Now of course, Scott, yes. Now of course, let's say somebody, let's say the oaks, the bathroom's backing up

this shit coming out. Sure. Or, you know, a random person's house, sure. They pick up the phone they call me, that's not what are the steps. Step number one, I answer the call. That's right, yes, that's their steps. They have their own sense of steps.

Them calling you, that's not your belly. Yeah, it's not. But for me, it starts when I answer the call. Okay. Now, of course, Scott. What's like the Lady Ghostbusters, you answer the call? Now, I will answer the call on a phone this time. Where were you answering the call last time?

Well, I used to have to close a lot of porn tabs in my Goon Cave. You've never mentioned that in any of your previous. Well, I guess it's only been in the last year. How many monitors you called on that? I got my phone, my iPad, two monitors, and a projector screen. And you have a standing desk. I do have a standing desk that I have it go up and down as I, you know, thrust my... And what's your head-to-head record in Wank battles?

I got to say, I'm pretty good. I'm like 36 and 3. Oh, my God. Wow, this guy is a heavyweight. Not that. That's like Man Paco's record. I make sure that my Goon Cave is still there. I just don't use it.

Okay, so you still call it a Goon Game, but you haven't remodeled. Because it's in a cave. What I do is I answer the call. call on my phone, Scott. Okay, that's good. That's step one. Now, step two, I hop in the shower. Okay, this is very similar to step two of the, uh, of your previous. Now, of course, this is to assure that I don't have any smells on me when I come over to your place. That's right. But this time,

there's a no jerking off rule in the shower. Okay, yeah. So you're not going to pull the Kevin Spacey in American view. I'm not jerking off in the shower, even though the water dripping down my little nils. What age did I see that? That was the favorite part of his day. He's like, can we reshoot this? Yeah. Can I add some narration? Can you mic me while I'm cranking my jock in the shower? Guys, guys, we can't talk about Kevin Spacey jerk it off.

He has 11 steps to get through. He were triggering me right now. I don't want to fall off the meat wagon. Now, step two, of course, I do not jerk off. Now, step three, I drive to the house. Okay, this is the same step as before. But this time, I put the wind. down and, you know, I turn my winchier wiper on and I make sure that I can get some, like, window washing fluid splashing so it can get me in the face just to take my mind off of the sex of a car going through a tunnel.

So to distract you enough. Just to distract me because, of course, Scott, I'm always driving through tunnels when I'm going to these jobs. Yes. And when you see a car going into a tunnel, what else do you think of? What else do you think of? That's a penis going into a hole. Don't say a hole. Don't say penis.

That's a fish going into an ass. That's what I think about. God, you guys are the most triggering twosome I've ever been around my entire career. Name a more triggering too. What is step four? Step number four, I get out of the car. I take off all my clothes and I spray myself with various cents. Now, this is very similar to your steps before.

That is my original step. But I'm guessing this time when you take off the clothes. Take off the clothes. I leave my cock cage on. Your cock cage? I, of course, always caged up to make sure that I don't get a little boner. Uh-huh. Is this like a wicker man type cage?

You can say that. It's not made out of wicker, though. That would be very dangerous. But I keep my cock cage on. I spray myself with a bunch of perfumes. Okay. Sauvage. Yeah.

Obsession for men. Tommy Hilvica. Yeah, of course. Now, step five. Now, I get into the house, and I ask the customer to point me in the direction of the Two different steps, by the way. No, no, no. He get in the house and you do this thing.

This is one step, Scott. Okay. Now, I ask the customer to point me in the direction of the stake. Okay. But before I warn them, I say, don't point too forcefully. Why would pointing forcefully be an issue for you? I don't want to engage my sub kink, Scott. What is your sub kink here?

If they point somewhere and they say, go over there, I say, yes, master, and I crawl all fours and I start licking the ground. Okay. Have you guys ever been in an airwomen? where a guy walks in with a dog mask and he's on a leash. Have I ever been in the Airworn with a guy walking through with the leash?

Yeah, I've been in an Airwam. That was me. I mean, I once bet Airwan, my gardener, that he couldn't beat me in basketball while wearing a dog mask. I lost the bet. But the dog ass doesn't really hit to the basketball plane.

Well, now, of course, I've been pointed into the direction of the stank. Okay, so what are we on six? We are on step six, Scott. This is where I float off the ground like Pepe Lepew and I float into the bathroom. Right. Stanky, stanky. Stanky.

But on my way, Scott, I call my sponsor. Good. And I say, hey, I am about to do my job. I want you to know, my cock cage is still on. You know, we talk about baseball for a little bit. We discuss the L.A. Dodger scores, that kind of thing. And, you know, that's a really good time for me to check in with my sponsor. Great.

Because you're floating. I'm not in control. of your body. I'm not doing anything else. I can use my hands. We pick up my phone. Yeah, your hands free. Hopefully it's a long float to the bathroom. Yeah. That baseball talk doesn't get you horny. Them talking about getting a different bases and all that. Whoa. Yeah. I mean, look, you're right. We do mostly talk about the scores of the games, but yeah. So you're talking about bats and balls. Like it was six to nine? I go, oh, no. Uh-oh. We cannot mention a game that was six or nine. Yeah. Uh-oh. It's five to four. I'm sprung.

Now of course, Scott, when I get to the bathroom, I hop into the customer's shower to wash up any residual stink that I picked up on the way. Sure, yeah. And now this time I do jerk off. Why do you jerk out? I just got to get the gunk out. Like, it's, it's a...

It's been backing up in steps one through six. Yeah, it's like, for me, I just got to get it all out. It's like in that movie, uh, uh, there's something about Barry. Oh, yeah. You can't clean a bathroom with a loaded gun. Right. So even though you just called your sponsor, you're jerking, off immediately on hanging.

But I make sure that it's like there's no, there's no pleasure in it. It's really a really like, uh, mechanical. It's a mechanical workman light jerk off. Is this through the cage? Oh yeah, yeah. It's me just, it's just tapping on the cage with my head until like. Tapping on the cage gets you there. Okay.

So the cage is long enough for you to be hard inside the cage. Yeah, you can say that. Yeah. Okay. Doesn't have to be too long. I got a little weena. Maybe, well, maybe you're a shower. Yeah.

No, I'm not. Okay. You are a grower, but with a little weener. That's true. Now, Scott, that's unfortunate. Now, Scott, step eight, a very important step. Okay. Is disassociate, Scott.

That's right, because the plumbing work is so... It's so nasty. It's so disgusting. I can't really be a part of it. It's disgusting to me, so I have to disassociate. Okay. And of course, Scott, when I disassociate, now, I need to make sure that I don't think about penises. That's what gets you there is thinking about penises?

I mean, a lot of things. there. I can't think about tongue kissing. Okay. Okay. Dirty stinky socks. Dirty stinky socks? Suck in my own dick. Oh. Oh, yeah. I couldn't think about that. Putting fingers in my mouth.

Putting fingers in my nose. Putting fingers between my toes. Smelling floss. Smelling floss. Stimely floss after you put it in your mouth. Being tied up at a Dave and Buster's bathroom. Oh, man. With your points card in your pocket? After dark. Lauren Bobert jerking that guy off at Beetlejuice

Oh, I love that one That one's a legitimate one Lovebombing my secretary Oh man, hey, you look good to die Eating ass Can't live without you Lick and thigh Yep

Lick and die Oh yeah Sniffin pits Stinky, stinking Reading Twilight while I take my shits Is this poetry Whipping my little bottom With a horse whip and saying

Nay, nay Being tickled with an extra fluffy swiffer and saying tee-he. Eleven steps is long enough. You had to add a sub-list. These are things I can't think about shooting a big-ass gun. Getting slapped by Will Smith on stage.

That's topical. That pool scene for wild things. Oh, yeah. And of course, playing pool at Buffalo Wild Wings. So these are all... I actually just disassociated for a second. Okay. Oh, you're back. I'm back. I'm back. Mike, yes.

I've got to be honest with you. I'm crying. It was beautiful What was some of the most beautiful Horny stuff I've ever heard It is beautiful In such a shame I can't think about those things

When I just associate Can't do it, okay Now step 9 through 11 Pretty standard Hit my head on the side of the sink Step 10 I wake up and hope the bathroom's clean And of course Scott step 11

If it's not clean I set the house on fire Yes everyone's hanging along with you In order to Because you don't want to clean it No I don't want to clean it But if I'm not able to do job, I will set the house on fire and kill everybody inside.

And that protects your Google reviews. Oh, yeah. I can't get less than five stars. Parsons hard to prove. It's true. It's very hard to prove, especially without a motive. So, you know, Scott, I'm still in recovery. I'm trying to do my thing, but this has been a very triggering podcast.

So I'm going to have to go straight to a meeting after this. Okay. Where are the meetings usually held, by the way? Oh, the meetings are held at the, um, I hate to say it, but at the pleasure chest. The pleasure to, okay, that is a local reference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A place I don't even know what it is. It's a sex store.

Oh, okay. Scott, it's funny because your, your picture's up there. It says number one customer. Yeah. Oh, this punch card just fell out of my wallet. Well, it actually says number one cumstomer, which I didn't understand. Come dumpster. Thank you, yes.

Thank you. Don't say cum dumpster. Oh, God. I'm all getting hot money. The stores full pushing up on my cage right now. God. Damn. Took a lot to fill this dumpster.

dumpster's bigger than a trash can that's for sure oh yeah yes well Mike I know I speak for our listeners when I say that our thoughts are with you we hope you get over this thank you Scott thank you wish we were in for you look I really hope I can get over this and hopefully return to the show with another subtle change to my Lord Scott

I hope you can too but Mike Mike Ruby here the no stank plumbers it's always great to man thank you you want to stay away from the the barbecue that these guys are having these do are two triggering. I gotta get away from these guys. Are you sure you don't want to come to the

sister money? Come on Mike, one last, one last hurrah before you get on the straight line. One last fucking suck. One last fucking sucks. Get out of your system.

And I bet your bathrooms on the boats are probably disgusting. So you can be higher. You're not allowed in the bathroom on the bud, first of all. Really? I'm not even allowed in there. Think about it.

One last hurrah. And then you can, Maybe that's what's keeping you from being clean. God, it's going to be people with sticky barbecue hands too. Oh, yeah. It sounds like there's not going to be any barbecue at this place. Something called a florio.

A florio? That's an Oreo that's been on floor. Yeah. Damn, this sounds, it's tempting. You know what? Maybe I'll go. I'll clean the bathrooms in the, on the boats. And maybe I'll fucking suck a few people there.

I have a plus one. You can be my plus one. Yeah, the two of you go. I can be a plus one? Yeah. Awesome. This is incredible. Come on.

I got to do some press for the show. Come on. Up on shame, Craig. To shame me if I'll sham a crick. She cramp me. It's my ass on day. And then shame crotch.

Yeah, I think I like these guys down. I think you were singing a different song. I was singing a variation of up on Cripples Cree. Cripp. Cripp? Yeah. Pryples Cree. All right, guys.

Well, look, we are. now running out of time on this segment of the show. I wasn't running out of Steve at all. Okay, great. Well, we only really have time for one final feature on the show. And that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Wow. That was legitimately great.

Was that in seven-four time? Yeah, that was begging, drooling for your plugs by Kev Mealy. Thanks, Kev Mealy. If you have a plug theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs, and you can upload them there, and you'll find everything you need for the clothes. remixes. All right, what do we plug in? Awesome of you, obviously, Delhi Boys. Deli Boys, season two, May 28th, on Hulu.

And if you have Disney Plus Hulu, it will be on there. Also, the Netflix is a joke festival, May 8th. Oh, that's already come and gone, my friend. Oh, shit. Okay, okay. Well, I just want to let you know everybody who came. Thank you so much for coming out. Thanks for punching him so many times. He's apologized.

He's an incredible. Find me on Instagram, Ali Comedy, A-L-I-com. and I will apologize to you on DMs. Fantastic. And a promise. Yes, and the promise. Boy, I cannot wait for it. And I'm really rooting for the show, mainly for this.

Thank you. I cannot wait for this. All right, McGarth and Harris, what do you guys plug in? Obviously, we're plugging the barbecue. I'm talking about a sandwich that is a hard chill with some ground beef and sodop with some lettuce and taste. Wait, did you say ground beefing? Like our tour? Wow.

That's right I'm talking about a taco We gotta plug tacos Mike you're triggered by this We can't talk about tacos If they're pink especially Can't talk about a pink taco Pink Taco

We're gonna plug Shem Creek We're gonna plug CBB World We play that during the barbecue Good, good Hey Randy This book changed my life Go deep Uh huh

What else Certain hospitals out there that may be having certain patients. Oh, yeah. Everything goes well at a certain hospital in the Pasadena area. This podcast will probably be coming out right around that time. Wow. Hopefully it's a pain-free situation. Oh, I don't know about that.

What else we got to plug? I'll plug Widows Bay on Apple TV. Cool. What is that? What is that? Yeah. Well, it's a compliment. comedy thriller from

Katie Dippold. Oh, Katie. Oh, this is Katie show. Oh, yeah. Matthew Rees starring. And then also Driver's Ed, a Bobby Farrelly movie that should be on demand starting May 15th. With Kumail on Johnny and Molly Shannon. And Sam Navola, who jacked off his brother

in White Lotus. Oh, yeah. All right, we can't bring up that scene. That's a real chicken. You can redact that, but I've had conversations with him. Yeah. You just needs to avoid getting typecast that way. About how much he enjoyed it? Yeah.

Never mind. All right, Mike Ruby, what do you want to plug? Well, of course, Mike Ruby, the no stank plumber. If you've got a stinky toilet, you know, in the Los Angeles area, bring me over. And, you know, of course, Scott, I want to plug a show called wrecked. You can stream it on Amazon Prime. Now, is it new? No.

Will any of the references be from the last five years? Absolutely not. But is it a classic? I think it's an absolute stokel classic. I feel like, wait a minute, I'll see. I said, were you on this show? I, in fact, was a series regular. Were you famously screaming at every other character in the show?

Absolutely, I was. Yeah, that's where I unlocked my secret talent. It's a great show. I think you can stream it on Amazon Prime or nowhere. Fantastic. Well, that's it, Scott. All right, well, I want to plug, look, what we're going out on tour very soon. Very soon.

Paul F. Tompkins, myself, and all the CBB All-Stars with the exception of maybe two, are going to be out there visiting a city near you and we can't wait to see you. So we're going everywhere. We're going to Canada. We're going to a lot of the U.S. We're going to the U.S., we're going to the U.K.,

we're going to Ireland. Wow. We're going everywhere. This is all... South Carolina, June 19. That's right. Damn. This is all happening May 25 through September.

So you're going to want to get out there and get tickets for all this. and awesome, are we going to be in the same city at any point? So you can hop on one of these shows? I would love that. Which cities are you going to be in over the next three months? San Diego. Nope.

Okay. Much to their chagrin. I'll be in Chicago. Hey, if you're in Chicago on May 28, we'll be there. No, I'll be in New York. Hey, New York on June 24th. Damn. You'll be in Chicago?

I'll ask Disney, Disney. to extend my hotel for a lot. But we are going to have special guests at a lot of these shows, and you never know who's going to pop up. All of the tickets are on. I think we still have tickets for a lot of the shows still available. Those are all at CBBWorld.com slash tour. And while you're over there at CBB World,

go check out all of the stuff. We have the complete archive of this show. Every single episode, add free, plus every live episode we've ever done. Plus, we're going to be airing these live episodes we're doing the day after we do them. They're all going to be up there. so you're going to want to become a subscriber over there.

All right, let's close up the old plug bag. I want to close the bag, baby, step on in. I want to close it tight. I want to close the bag, baby, step on in. I want to close it tight. You know the way to win. I want to close that back. I want to make it right

So just close that bag Hold those laden tight And then loose in the bag And let it open right I'm just open in the bag You've got no place to hide Malice Malice That's right

That was Bag Back Back Back by Ankels That was just as good as the first song Yeah So good Cheers to those plug songs Name a more iconic duo, the opening in the closing, right? Yep. All right.

Well, guys, I want to, whoa. The steam has left the building. I want to thank you so much for being here. My mic has come apart. I'm so glad to. Your mic just came. Oh, God, triggering Scott. Oh, no.

This is bad. Also, thank you for being here. I'm covered in it. I'm covered in it. McGartheon Harris. I'm so sorry, but Mike, you're in the middle of it. I'm tapping my cage. You're duping.

Buddy, you keep going. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Bye.