Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Nick Kroll, John Gemberling, Gil Ozeri

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Big Mouth creator Nick Kroll joins Scott to talk about Danny Elfman at the Hollywood Bowl, season 6 of Big Mouth, and his latest stand-up special “Nick Kroll: Little Big Boy.” Then, Mutty Brickford stops by to talk about his supernatural conundrum. Plus, the world’s busiest man Ned Belanela drops by to talk about tips and tricks on how to manage your time.

I'm not boycotting Disney theme parks, I'm Epcotting them. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, thank you to Elvis Cholesterol Stello for that catchphrase submission and aka Sausage O Consent on Twitter and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, happy Navi doggy to you, welcome to the show, we have a great one coming up a little later, we have someone with a supernatural conundrum and also someone with a unique aspect to them. That is a little later on the show, but boy, my name is Scott Okerman first of all and let's get to our guest of honor, why are we even waiting, welcome to the show if you never heard it before, let's just jump right in, he is the writer and creator and star

of the Netflix animated for adults, television show Big Mouth, he also is the stand-up comedian behind the recent Netflix comedy special Little Big Boy, please welcome Nick Kroll, our old friend Nick Kroll, I love where you're putting accents on this, emphasis, on the last word, do people usually say Big Mouth, Big Mouth, so people pay attention to the mouths on the show, those are the first things that the animators draw, they start from the mouth and then work out, and I don't think it's just for adults frankly, I think it's for also old people, the very old who become like babies, the famous saying, the circle of life, you change people's diapers when they're young up to about, fuck man, has anybody

ever thought this before, I don't think so man, fuck dude, we're breaking new ground in comedy here, happy to be here, so happy to have you, it has been a while and I mean maybe two seasons even, it's been at least, yeah and I, you know, autumn and summer, autumn it's been, fuck, has it been both autumn and summer, what if television seasons were every season, so you had to do four a year, dude, yeah, Big Mouth is coming out this autumn, and winter, and summer, and I guess we're now, we now owe them summer and I guess whatever they're, I guess it's called, I know it in Spanish is primavera. Primavera, oh is that really what primavera means?

And that's how I pronounce it, primavera. Primavera, I've had a pasta primavera, does that mean like a selection of spring vegetables? Yeah, that's like a 1980s pasta, it's a pasta with a... We used to serve at Cafe Cordial, what is this, restaurant roundup? No, let's get back to you, Nick you are, you've been on since the early days of the show, back of the Indy 103 one days, you were in there a lot, El Gato, that's right, and that will be the last you hear of that. You're finally putting the nail in your coffin, regarding that, wow, let's say goodbye, a fun

farewell dude. A fun farewell, yeah, I remember those very, very, very clearly, Juan Jamón. Juan Jamón, you did, yeah, you did Chupacabro as well, yes, yes, yeah, and now here we are, yeah, almost, smash cut two, smash cut to almost 40 seasons later, actually it's 52 seasons or so, wow, 10, you believe it, wow, 14 years, I can, I've listened to every episode in its entirety of your show, that is so flattering, amazing, multiple times, wow, how do you have time, I mean you do so many TV shows, well, because about every six months I have a psychotic break, and I leave and I go to, yes, do you know Chatsworth, do you know where Chatsworth

is, it's in the valley, I'll go there and I'll get a one bedroom, I'll leave my family, and I'll just do a bang bang, just rip through, whatever happened the previous six months, I smoke just cartons of cigarettes, Chester Fields, that's so flattering, thank you so much, do they make half bedrooms, they do, we're only half a bedroom. I do saw a mattress in half and put it in the bathroom. Has a magic trick though. Yeah, yeah, and I use it as a kitchen. Do you have any weird hobbies like when, you know, David Wayne has like 47 weird hobbies?

Yes, I have no hobbies, I have none, literally no hobbies. Really, so what do you do with your time, you wake up, I wake up, I sleep as late, I sleep as literally as late as possible for whatever the first thing I have to do, so if you have a nine o'clock appointment. I am waking at, if I have a nine o'clock appointment and I'm not responsible for my child, I will wake up at like 8.35, and I've got like 20 minutes, I mean, if I have to drive somewhere, I have to drive somewhere, okay, let's add another 10 on, it's famous thing about LA, everything's 10 minutes, whether you drive into, you know, Studio City or you're cooking

an egg, everything's 10 minutes, so I'll do that, but I will wake up, or if I have to wake up for my son, I'll, that will be the literal last possible minute where if he will teeter. Like five minutes before. Yes, not even, I will, if he wakes up, I hear him crying, I wait as long as I can for his cries. Will he stop? Yes, will he stop?

He will not stop, and how long can I do it before he teeters on the edge of a meltdown? Right, yeah. I then will go, I will wipe water on my eyes, no, no, he's not literally melting on, but he do weirdly art, his crib is a toaster. Oh, okay, interesting, so he just pops up when he's right here. Yes, exactly. We gotta give him control of it though. So yeah, but yeah, so my day is whatever things I have to do.

Why do we start talking about this? Hobbies. Oh yeah, okay, so you work and. You know what it is, my hobby is watching David Wayne do his hobbies on the internet. Yeah, he's amazing at them. He is an idle hand. He can drum. He can draw.

I've seen. He can do magic. Yes, he can edit his own videos. Edit his own videos. He directs, somehow he has a Hollywood career, although, yes, I don't know how he has time for that with everything else. I don't, I just think certain people are, are you a hobby person? I have my hobbies, yeah.

You know what, I have one hobby. What's that? I support the Hobby Lobby's. Oh, good. Lobby. Good. I support. The hobbies of the Hobby Lobby's, Lobby.

Yes, yes. The people in Washington who lobby on behalf of Hobby Lobby for their, for their political takes. Right. That is my hobby. Right. Wow. That's so interesting that you, and you've just never had anything you do with your free

time other than just, obviously, you work out constantly. I work out, I mean, yes, I guess, but I don't think of that as a hobby, I think of that as, but. No one has ever seen you below the neck. Yes. In any of your projects. You are jacked. Absolutely ripped.

With veins everywhere. Yeah. I'm a vein filled. And you have your main vein, which is right about there. Every once in a while. Oh, that's a hobby. Every once in a while, I will. That's God's video.

I will drain the main vein. Oh, really? When you say drain, you just pee? Yes. That's your hobby. I remove the catheter that I have in my penis because I've worked out so much. My prostate, my prostate looks like a chicken parms suck, so I'd have to take it elsewhere. Yeah, understandable.

So I drain that. That's a hobby. So you've just never done anything even when you were a kid? Not really. I mean, I played sports for a while. Which sports? I played baseball. I played basketball.

America's pastime. Yes. And still. Going. Going. Right into a child's face. A lawsuit. Here it comes.

I will watch playoff sports. That's a hobby. Oh, okay. Yeah. Definitely watching sports is a hobby. And I don't. But I don't really do during the regular season. Yeah.

Why bother? I need stakes. I need stakes. That's the thing. There's way too many teams. A manageable amount? No. Just start with the manageable amount.

Yeah. I watched the last 10 minutes of the Miss Universe competition. Sure. Yeah. Why bother? I just need to know when there's real stakes. Yeah, exactly. And also, the other thing is, is only watch the last five minutes of those games.

The playoff games. Kind of. Because really the first three hours doesn't matter. It's all bullshit leading up to this, that final moment. Yeah. Yeah. You save so much time. And weirdly, what I'm always rooting for is like a 16-point differential.

Like a game that really sort of peters out. Yeah. Just like slowly comes to a crawl. Slowly. Like not so fun that it's an absolute blowout. No one even uses their timeouts. You know, yeah. They're just like sort of half-assing it through the end of the game.

That's what I'm looking for. That's what you like. Like a game five. Like a boring world series. Like a game five. Right. Like it's going to be decided the next game. Yeah.

It's like, yeah. Eight to three. Yeah. But I really, I'm investing all my money in the sport of baseball. Really? I think it's the next big thing. Yeah. Back.

Definitely. Well, now here's what they're doing. They're putting a pitch clock on to make it shorter. Because right now the games are approximately seven, seven and a half hours a piece. Yeah. You have that seventh inning stretch which takes about an hour. Yeah. Because all the players get like Jersey mikes delivered and they just roll through getting

it mikes way. You got to get, people want to be at that stadium and we got to sell cracker jacks for it. Right. So they're trying to make it a little bit shorter in order to liven it up. And also, umps aren't going to be a thing. Is this what I heard? Yeah. It's going to be a noise.

Really? So computers making a noise? Ump. Who's going to record that? Uh, Mailer Damon probably. Oh, okay. Yeah. Let's hear some examples of out strike.

I track three. Let's get strike three. Right. We're rolling. They're going to put we're rolling in? Ump. Ump. They're just going to say ump.

Ump. And that means it's a strikeout. Oh, okay. Three umps is a strikeout. Okay. Three umps is a strikeout. Interesting. Is this because Mailer Damon doesn't want to record much more than just saying ump?

Yeah. He doesn't. No. He's just the engineer. He's not, he's not involved. He's not talent. Got it. He's the engineer.

Uh, and I will say one of the owners of the, the, uh, one of the owners of the New York Mets. Really? It's me and Steve Kuhn. Yeah. Which is this? Aren't you from, are you from the New York area? You are.

I'm originally from the New York area. Aren't you the heir of the, uh, the famous detective agency? I am the heir to the famous, yes. What have they called again? What was the other one called? The ones who defended money on the railroads. Oh yeah. The Pinkerton's.

The Pinkerton's. Aren't you the heir to the Pinkerton's? I am male, a damian heir to the Pinkerton's fortune. I was sold to Norton antivirus. They own you now. They own the rights to me. Is this what I once sounded like? Not quite sure.

I'm not sure. Have you used this voice in, in your other show at this point? All of my voices are three different ingredients. Put together in various forms. Classy. This one has classy. This is classy. It's got, uh, growly.

This is sandy. Yeah. And this is gravitas. Classy gravitas sandy. Okay. Now let's hear classy gravitas. And what's one of your other qualities for your other voices? Uh, timid.

Okay. Classy gravitas timid. Lou. Too timid. Barely wanted to talk on mic. Too much timid. Let's turn down the tim. Let's go through all of the voices you do on your show.

Okay. Who's the, who's the main guy? Nick. Nick is the main guy? That doesn't seem right. Are you sure? I mean, not, not according to people's favorite characters. Who's the favorite characters?

I would say, uh, people like Lola a lot right now. Who's Lola? Lola. Uh, Lola. Lola a fugly old scum. That's one that you do. Okay. Great.

Okay. So you've seen every episode. Look, I walk through the room when it's on. So I've seen quite a few. So what? Silently walk stomping through a room. Stomping. I'm just trying to get a few minutes to enjoy a little bit of joy of a friend's program.

And I stomped through. When are we watching? I want to watch. When am I going to, when are we turning on some sort of comic book thing? What, what, what are the qualities of this voice? You have Lola has, it's a real roller coaster. Ops and downs. Ops.

And then it goes down. Almost like, let's say you could get. His name is us. But you might know him as Marty shorts. Big boy character. Oh yes. Of course. Based on the big boy character.

Jimmy click. Oh yeah. Jiminy. Yeah. A little Jiminy ish. Yes. Oh yes. Yeah.

And that's more class. He's up here. He's class. I love that. When a, when a character has two different voices, you know what I mean? Honey, that's exactly where all of us. Because Jimmy click starts up here and then goes down here. And then Pee Wee has the.

You know, the kind of like. And then goes, you know, that's great when a character has two separate voices. Doesn't bore. I'd have two separate voices. He goes. Yes. What's he sound like again? Do I have that right?

I think so. Big mouth. Speaking of Pee Wee Herman. Yeah. I went and saw. It's not a big deal. Oh wow. But I saw a concert this weekend live at the Hollywood Bowl.

At the Hollywood Bowl. So Danny Elfman at the Hollywood Bowl. Yes. I heard that was great. It was. How was it? Fascinating. My friend played drums.

Who's play your friend plays drums for him? Yes. Wow. It was fascinating. It was not what I was expecting. I saw the Coachella set. So maybe it's what you saw that. Yes.

Yes. You could have expected what you saw. Right. Yeah. What did you think? Let's talk about it. I saw. So I'm, I don't.

Again, I have no hobbies. I don't know anything about anyone. I know Danny Elfman as somebody like wrote music for a lot of movies in my mind that also included like Disney movies. Right. And I was like, Oh, right. I think maybe Alice in Wonderland is one of the Disney movies. Yes.

And all the, it's all Tim Burton stuff. Yeah. Nightmare Before Christmas. Nightmare Before Christmas. Beetlejuice. Scissorhands. Edward Scissorhands. Is that how you pronounce it?

It might be skizz, skizzorhands. Yes. Is it Edward Sugar Ross hand? Sugar Ross. Edward Sugar Ray. Sugar Ray. Sugar Ross. Sugar Ray hands.

Okay. Right. Okay. So, so I was not expecting, but I knew what he looked like. This is a good start. If you go see someone in concert and you could identify them when they walk on stage, you're like halfway there. So yes.

I had the problem when I saw Lil Wayne. Sure. Of course. Like which of these guys is this? I thought it was a Lil Wayne Newton. You have, you have a little bit of a hint with the Lil part. Yes. So whoever's the smallest person on stage.

Sometimes it's ironic. Yeah. That's true. Sometimes there's also a puppet on stage and you're like, that's it. Yes. That's like, no. That's not it. It's the human being.

That's not it. And that's. The concert will usually have someone coming around going, that's not it. That's, and I, so I, because I touched my, what I thought was my belly button, it was my penis. And so when someone came by and said, that's not it. And that's not my belly button. That's not my belly button.

And I was shamed in front of 18,000 Danny Elfman family. Wow. Yeah. They put the camera on me and everything. Really? So I, I was not expecting it to be, he's ripped. He's ripped. He's a, he's 69 years old.

Oh, I love that. Yeah. He has red, like red hair. There's a, yeah. And, and, and he's, and his, the music he plays like his band or the music he's playing is like kind of, like, I don't know, like nine inch nails ish. Yes. Well, it's, it's split into, the concert was split into three different parts.

Yes. He would alternate between Oingo Boingo songs. Yes. His modern music, his new album, which is kind of a industrial ish album. Yes. His film scores. Yes. Yes.

It's like, it's like if he and Trent Reznor like crossed. Yeah. And like met, saw each other on the street and were like, what's up? Huh. And they were like, look to each other and be like, I want, I do what you do. You do what I do. You do what I do, but I want to be you, you. Should we do do?

Should we do do do? Should we wipe doodoo on each other? Should we wipe doodoo? Can we wipe doodoo on the, on the wall like we're babies? And then that's the composition. Those are the sheet notes for the music. Is that what we do? Is that what we do?

Is that like the monkeys doing the typewriter thing or like eventually one of them will write King Lear? Yeah. Eventually one of them will write the, all the music to social network. Right. Right. Is that how Reznor writes? Reznor.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Reznor. I'm doing a Reznor writing residency. Okay. It's a Reznor. Reznor didn't see it.

So wait. So, so how did you enjoy it though? It was not what you expected. I enjoyed it as, as my wife said, it's, it was nice to see someone in their full expression. Danny, really great that you love what you're doing. Is how I felt as a spectator as, but there were 18,000 people there who were having the time of their weird lives. Yes.

I mean, I loved the Coachella set because I, you know, I was a huge. Oingo boingo. Yes. Oh wow. See, I have no idea what I go. I just know. Oingo boingo is the noise when I say, I want to go to the mattress. Like the Godfather style.

You want to go to the mattress? I want to go to the mattress. Oingo boingo. Little Oingo boingo. I had to explain who Oingo boingo was though to someone who was much younger than I. And it was so embarrassing. It was a dog. Hello.

Can I bet you first, let me explain who Oingo boingo is. They said to me, what was your first concert? And I said, Oingo boingo. And they said, I don't. Is that fake? Are you joking with me? I had to explain. I was like grasping at straws like, do you know who Danny Elfman is?

No. See, this all sounds like literally like a spin off podcast that you do called Oingo boingo. And it's like you and Mike Hanford. That's what I imagine. But I think the older you get, the more anything that you enjoyed as a kid just seems like gobbledygook to a younger generation. Yes. Yes.

That's how I feel about like American gladiators. Right. You're really into them. Nitro. The rest? Yes. Shooting tennis balls at people? Did you watch that tag game show?

I watched the movie. I went to the premiere. I watched the movie tag every night. In between bang bang episodes? No. That's when I'm on my medication as I'm watching tag every night. Oh, got it. When you lose interest in tag, you know something's going down.

It's time to turn on magnetic. Things start to feel crackly. Right, exactly. Otherwise, but I'm watching tag every night. Nick, tell us about Big Mouth. This season six, if I had to guess? This is season six. If you had to guess.

And are they growing older? They're growing older at a rapid rate. They're all in their late 70s now. I read a headline the other day that said, Nick Kroll hopes his characters will go to high school or something like that. Is that something? Isn't that a dream for all of us?

Because they're all our babies, right? So you want to see them get to high school. Because once those kids get to high school, clean my hands. Yeah, go ahead. The new dealer comes in. Yes, the new dealer comes in just as they're building momentum. They deal them a crippling anxiety and a few other cards in it. And there it goes.

That's high school, baby. But that is the plan is to be done with the kids, to be done with my child when he gets to high school. Well, 18 as well. Are you legally obligated? If you're homeschooling them, you're getting that GED at 14. They're at the house. Good to know.

It's as good as a diploma. This is great. I'm getting good tips for you. Yeah, this is the way it works. But the kids, I don't know, it's so not up to me. What is it? The show? Yeah, how long the show goes.

What does that mean? You could quit today. It means it's God's plan. What can I pay you to quit today? To get you out of this country. Here's how much I hate the show. Here's how much I want the show to be gone. Every penny I've made, Nick, I will pay you to not put pen to paper.

I will pay you. Which is how we write the show. Yeah, yellow lego pads. That's great. Like stand-ups that I don't listen to. Are you allowed to write things that aren't like legal? Yes, on legal paper. Yeah.

You can write regal. You can write regal things. Regal paper. You know, it's a fountain pen. It's a scroll. It's a thing. Of course. A thing.

I don't trust myself. Have you ever used a fountain pen for an extended period of time? How extended are we talking? Like two weeks? Yeah, seven, eight weeks. Seven, eight days. Times two. Two weeks.

I've only used it for maybe six weeks at a time. Really? So no. Yeah. I'm angry. I push so hard that the end of the metal starts to split right away. You fucking, you don't know. I thought you were going to make me classy.

I got a space pen for one of my birthdays from Coolop. Really? One of those ones where it's like they take them into space because you can write upside down with it. And that's the only good thing about it. You can write upside down with it. And it's like, I never need to write upside down. I wrote a Seinfeld spec script about a space pen.

What? Yeah. They said that they had done it. They did it. They just transcribed the episode. That's the thing. You got to check. If you're writing a spec out there, this is good advice for anyone who wants to be an

aspiring writer. If you want to be an aspiring writer, let alone a writer, check the episodes to see if they've done it already. See if they remember that they made that episode. But if you want a spec script with like a spec, like a meat, like a charcuterie, a charcuterie kind of script. If you want a script that's written entirely in pieces of charcuterie where the olives are of course the top of the eyes.

Of course. We're getting very informational about this season of Big Mouth, aren't we? Yeah. I mean, it's a great, I really do love this season actually. This particular season. After, let's be honest, four stinkers. Stinkerers. The first one was good.

First one was then we hit a four season slide. Rough patch. But no, I like this season. It's all about family as Vin Diesel would say. Sure. Or the Olive Garden. Also the Olive Garden. Vin Diesel is the Olive Garden of movie stars.

That's a good Vin Diesel. That's my Vin Diesel. Say I am Groo. I am Groo. Not bad. Right? Yeah. Now go Vroom Vroom.

I like this car. Vroom Vroom. I like this car. I won't go to set up till I go. It's hard to believe that this guy's a movie star. We're just talking like that. He's barely intelligible. He's a real movie.

Can't do that movie. To quote little big boy. Little big boy. My special. That's right. You can't do Fast and Furious without him. No, you can't. They did those wrap arounds in the last one with his son.

And those were boring. Because I think he's hoping to pass it off to his son. And no one's going to care. That's how you feel? That's how I feel. Will you go see all of those movies in the theater? Of course. Yes.

My first movie back after the pandemic. He was mine too. When the pandemic had a brief hiatus. It was a little pandemic? Yeah. A little high. It was that Fast and Furious. And it was a great time in the movies.

Yeah, it was a great time for film. It was fun to go to the film. Do you go 4D? I have gone 4D. Last time I went 4D was one of the Spider-Man movies with my nephew. And they basically like the big Avengers Quinget landed in a field of flowers. They sprayed perfume on us. Oh, that's awesome.

He's like, what the fuck am I doing here? That's awesome. As a highly allergic person, what I want is his mass produced perfume spread in my face. I would fucking lose my mind if that happened to me. Nick, let's talk about Little Big Boy. It, of course, was one of the very last things that Kulap and I watched when we were in Riverside waiting for something to happen. Maybe the night before, even.

And how do you feel about that? My special was what you watched right before you went and did the thing. Okay. I mean, I've heard from a few. I actually like that. One of my last memories. Really? Yeah.

In a pre- Yeah, with my old life. Yeah. Well, I think that makes me happy. I mean, the special is like jokes that a lot of jokes, I mean, it's filled with jokes. It's 65 minutes. That's good. Like, how many, are there maybe like 20?

I counted one time. There's like almost 20 jokes. Wow. There's 20 points where I would, I hope that the audience would laugh. This is a good ratio. So it's like every three minutes, there's like a chuckle. Yeah, good. But what I wanted to do is keep the rest of it very conversational, not very emotional.

Good. So it's just me on stage really searching for it. Yeah, just really trying to find it. A lot of crowd work. A lot of unsuccessful crowd work. I did go, by the way, after the Danny Elfman show, I went and saw a magician at a party. Afterwards? Yeah.

Why don't you go to a party after this long ass concert? Because we, Because you hired a babysitter. Because we hired a babysitter and we made the babysitter do magic for us. Oh, okay. A party at your house. Where's the baby? That's not a magic trick.

It's not a magic trick. She just lost the baby in Southlock. I don't know. Either way. Either way. Wow, dude. We went to a party and it was one of the first times I'd seen a magician in a real, like, sort of bigger space, like, blow it.

How big is this space? Like, like, he failed at the tricks? He kept going, like, that's pretty close. You know, like, that was all, like, pretty close. I mean, was it like guessing cards, kind of stuff? Yeah, yeah. I mean, you guessed. I mean, it's in the Red Family.

He'd be like, is it the six of clubs? He'd be like seven of clubs and he'd be like, pretty close. I mean, you know, these are plus or minus. Guys, this is, there's 26 cards. Right? How many cards are there? There's 52 actually. Pretty close.

Halfway there. I saw a magician at the Magic Castle who was doing a lot of the fake messing ups, you know, when you do fake mess up and then go, but is this it? Yeah. And so it was a lot of fake those, but then actual messing up. So every trick had a mess up and you could never tell if it was real or fake. Waiting for the, waiting for the goodie. Oh, it was painful to watch, but little big boys on Netflix.

Speaking of painful to watch. Speaking of an absolute chore, go check out Little Big Boy. Little Big Boy. I'm, but it's, it's, I, but it is about, there is stuff in there about, you know, getting lit. Getting fucking drunk. Absolutely getting fucking drunk. Four logo dude.

It's all about eight local. Yeah. They, it's called eight crazy. Eight crazy. Okay. And I haven't had a four logo in days. I haven't. Days really.

They really changed the recipe since last week. Yeah. They fucking, and it sucks, man. Cause I want to get hyped. It's like, dude, we gotta go to the main office. Dude, I want to get hyped and walk Santa Monica. I want to hit the, I want to hit it all. Oh my gosh.

I'm meeting a lot of plant, I mean, it's a big plant based diet for me at this point. Okay. Nick, I promised a couple of weeks ago, I would ask you about a big mouth. Yeah. Those characters that are based on Paul, if Tomkins and I, are they still in the show? They are. It's so funny that you guys, it really does look like it. It really isn't you guys.

And we don't do the voice. And you don't, and you for sure don't do the voices. And you'll never do the voices. And you'll never do the voices. You'll never do the voices. And you'll never give us other voices. Absolutely. Because of us bringing this up.

Because you look like the, because you look like the guys. So it's weird. It would be weird. It would be weird. You guys, it is so funny. They really, once someone pointed out, I was like, man, they do look like those guys. And now anytime you post about the show, I noticed there are comments under every post like, hey, when are you letting Paul and Scott do these voices?

And I go, never. Because they look like the guys. So it's weird. It's weird if they look like the characters they're voicing. And it's weird if they don't look like the characters. It is. It's Detective Flores. And I can't believe I can't remember the other guy's name.

But it's based on Dennis Farina and. And Caruso, right? And David Caruso. Yeah. How does that make you feel that you, so you look like Caruso. I mean, and I'd like to look like Caruso, maybe. Yeah, BFT. Do you think he wants?

I don't think he wants. I mean, Farina. Farina now? Yeah. Sure. Now? Now? Now?

Dead and buried? Yeah. I think it's aspirational. It is. Both handsome guys. Sure. I would, I would fuck both you and Paul right now. Okay.

Here. Let's get a deal. Let's get the pot. You know, you want to get a deal. Okay. Let's do a deal. And I, can we just call it Oingo Boingo? Sure.

Of course. Cool. We'll call up Elfman. Get his rip, 69 year old. He looks great, by the way. He looks amazing. Yeah. I look at him and I go, man, I wish I could afford a trainer.

How much do you think he pays his trainer? Like $8 million a year? I mean, there's, and I bet there's a lot of supplements. Yeah. Do you think he has his trainer on retainer? He has got a retainer trainer. Yeah. And he, and also the retainer, the trainer is wearing a retainer.

Just to make sure his bases are covered. Which we want to do in baseball. Yeah. You want to cover your bases. You have to in baseball. Otherwise what? People are just going to be running around him. Like someone will come out from the dugout and go, run around the bases and score a run.

Like Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson, people don't know this. Michael Jackson and terrible baseball players. He was bad. He tried, because he tried to do the Jordan thing. He tried to do the Jordan thing. Where he retired from music and he, and then he played outfield. I think he played center, right?

He played center field. Yeah. Because he could cover a lot of ground. Yeah. He'd moonwalk everywhere. Everywhere. Because he could do it fast. Yes.

He could do it fast. And then, but the problem was ultimately all the fentanyl. Ultimately. Ultimately. It was provable. It was provable. He was offensive all the way too. Dr. Conrad Murray is back in the news.

What's he doing these days? He's defending himself against the fact that he killed Michael Jackson. Aw, well let him do that. I mean, everyone has a right to do that. Everyone has a right to defend themselves. One of the world's most famous Conrads. Don't you agree? Yes.

Conrad Bains. Of course. Of course. Conrad Bains. Murray? Conrad Murray. You can think of another one. Conrad.

My friend Conrad Mulcahy. There's a Conrad in a movie, I think. Someone going, hey Conrad. Yes. There's Robert Conrad. The guy who? Robert Conrad. Of course.

The most famous thing that everybody knows is the battle of the network stars where Robert Conrad. Have those short shorts. Yeah. And he ran against Gabe Kaplan. Yeah. And Gabe smoked him, right? Gabe smoked him because also Robert Conrad was smoking.

Literally getting ready to fight to run a sprint and then Gabe Kaplan. That's probably the highest point in Jewish sports history. It really was. Gabe Kaplan smoked Robert Conrad in a late 70s TV track. All it took was someone smoking and not warming up. Gabe Kaplan. But you know, there's a lot of Jewish guys actually in good shape. I'd love to see you do battle of the network stars.

I would love to do battle of the network stars. But like on Netflix, like battle of the Netflix stars, who would it be? It would be me. The Stranger Kids. It would be the Stranger Kids. It would be. The Great British Bake Off. Paul Hollywood.

Mary Berry comes back. She's like, I want to be involved in this. I would like to run a long race. Then I think, and then it's, you know, those arcs. Yeah. Chappelle. Chappelle. And then, shit, I don't know.

What else? I think that's it. That's all that's on the. That's all I can think of. That's all that's on the stream service. Yeah. I guess the cast of the between two ferns movie. Absolutely.

You're going to get a McConaughey. Sure. McConaughey, Keanu, Will Ferrell, all of them. They're part of the Netflix family at this point. They're so part of it. All right. Ryan Reynolds. Oh, yes.

Little big boys on the streaming service Netflix now, as well as Big Mouth. We have to take a break, Nick. Are you prepared for that? Yeah. You want to do some ads with me? I will literally sit here and like lose animation. Okay, great. You'll just power down.

I will power down until I'm expected to be back. All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we have someone with a supernatural conundrum and someone with a unique aspect to their personality. We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this. Comedy bang bang. We're back.

Nick Kroll is here of Big Mouth. We also knew him as Gil Fyzen. From what was that show called again? Oh, hello. Oh, hello. That's right. Yes, of course. You're going to turn around the emphasis on that one.

Oh, hello. Any more of that on the horizon? People can go check out the big guys. You can go fuck themselves. If they want more of that. You can do is go fuck themselves. Eat shit and die losers. You'll never see us together again.

Oh, that's all across the board, no matter what it is. Whether it's, oh, hello, or other things, go fuck yourselves. You schmuck losers. You idiot bastards. Go fuck your own ass. Good night. What if you had a big reunion show and it was just 90 seconds? You sang that.

Eat shit. We bought all this at time. We're going to do the whole show. Self-funded just to say, eat shit and fuck you. So, I will say we did a podcast during the pandemic. Please don't say there's a pandemic. I don't think I'll survive. I just read an article for the Daily Beast called the pandemic.

How podcasts are killing themselves? We, the podcast, it's all about the life and death of Princess Diana. Oh, good. It's the most. The life was pretty long. It was. Death was pretty quick. It was.

It was. So, the first eight episodes are about the life. It's just the life. And then the ninth is like in that she died. And then. And it was over. Yeah. So, it's a, I would highly recommend people go and check it out.

What's it on? What's it even on? How do you get it? It's all, and wherever you get, wherever your podcast is showed. What's it called? It's called the, oh, hello, it's called Dytown. Dytown. Yeah.

Oh, hello, podcast. And it's, we got, the boys, George and Gil looped in Ira Glass and Sarah Koenig to produce it. And they don't know what they're doing. They don't think it's a podcast. It's one of the most, for me personally, self-indulgent. And that's saying something. That's saying something.

I mean, this is a guy, this is a guy who can polish off a Swiss almond fudge in under six minutes. I indulge, my friend. I indulge my bulge is the way I now talk about draining the main vein. And let's bring on one of our first guests. Let's do that. He has a supernatural conundrum. Please welcome to the show Muddy Brickford.

Hi, Muddy. Hi. How are you? Oh, are you us, right? No, I'm British. Oh, you're British? Oh, British. Okay, good.

Good, hello. Sorry to disappoint. That's right. You could talk probably, instead of above it, you could probably talk right into it. If you're like this. Yeah, I guess so. Is this the conundrum? Is it working?

There you go. Is this the conundrum? Point it right there at your mouth. Yeah, is this it? You're something going on with mics? No, no, conundrum's not me talking into the fucking mic. Oh, I didn't realize I could curse on this show. I've been doing it for 14 years.

Cursing and cursing and just feeling like you're going to get in trouble every time. Exactly. Conan's going to come in here and slap my wrist. And Barack Obama. Yeah. All right. Do you know who Barack Obama is? What?

Do you know who Barack Obama is? Yeah. Yeah. He has a podcast with Bruce Springsteen. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Have you ever heard it? You know the guy who does Hungry Heart?

I'm not a big Springsteen guy. You're not. Can you name it? I once went to a Bruce Springsteen concert with someone who leaned over and confessed. Love Oingo Boingo. You do? Okay. He confessed that he didn't know a single Bruce Springsteen song.

And I said, that's impossible. You have to know one. Is it an American person? It's an American person. And he said, I couldn't even name one. And we watched the entire thing. He was given the... Was it Billy Joel?

William Joel. He was given the tickets. And he asked me two hours before the show because whoever he was going to go with dropped out. And so we watched the entire thing enjoying it. And then dancing in the dark started at the very, in the encore. And he leaned over to me and nodded and said, yep, know this one. Are you like that? Is that Courtney Cox?

Yes. Is she in that one? She's in the video. Yes. She's not in the actual song. He doesn't actually sing Courtney Cox. No, he should. Oh, she's stunning.

The He-Man movie. Member Masters of the Universe. I do. Yeah. With Dolph Lundgren. Yeah. Dolph Lundgren, Courtney Cox. He's also...

He's a pretty handsome guy. Dolph. Or Springsteen. Springsteen too. Who's more handsome? Dolph Lundgren or Springsteen? Now. These days?

Now, then, and as a young kid. Lundgren. All across the board? Yeah. Across the board. Any age, any moment in time. Lundgren. Lundgren.

What about you, Nick? What do you think? I got to go Bruce. I go Bruce in the 80s, certainly. Not... You don't like a big buff guy. What do you... Lundgren.

I mean, Lundgren was a big... Oh, oh, oh. Dolph is a big man. Yeah. Bruce looks good in that shirt with the sleeves rolled up. You don't know anything about him, but you know about something he wore? Something he wore once? He's always wearing...

He's always rolling up his sleeves. He looks good like that. So you know him as a rolled-sleeved individual, mainly? Yeah. Catch him with his shirt off, catch him on the toilet. He looks so dumpy. I'm tight. Dolph Lundgren still looks tight.

He looks nice. Even on the toilet. It's hard to catch. Anyway. I will say this. It's hard to catch Dolph Lundgren on the toilet. Lundgren. That's what we're talking about.

Dolph goes really quickly. Dolph Lund... Wait, we're talking about... Oh, you're talking about Dolph Lundgren, the actor. You were talking about... Oh, I'm talking about Dolph Lundgren. He's my neighbor. That's who I'm talking about.

We're not talking about the actor Dolph Lundgren. Oh, sorry. My neighbor. Sorry. No, your neighbor is more handsome. We live very close to each other. Oh, you do. Where do you live?

Stratford upon Avon. I have a place there. I have a summer home in Stratford on Avon. A pond. Yeah. I have a pun home there. It's based on a musical fun home. Oh, really?

Yeah. So, wait, you have three daughters? I have three daughters. Everybody's coming out the whole time. So, tell me, Muddy, you're an English person. We know that about you. You're not a Spring Scene fan. You know who Barack Obama is.

That's the extent of the information we know about you at this point. Yes. Tell us a little more. Well... Give us a taste. I've come here with a bit of a supernatural conundrum. I was on holiday in Ireland. That's vacation for the people here in the States.

Sorry, what island? Ireland. Ireland. I'm sorry. I thought I was on holiday and you would say island. I'm sorry. Go ahead. That's not a phrase.

Nobody says on island. People say specific islands. People will say... People say... Billy... You know, I like... Bruce Bruce, he's a Jersey guy. Billy Joel, he's from the island.

Yeah. Right. Right. If there's context. Yes. Yeah, but no one says I'm going on island. Right. You have no idea when I was talking about it.

I'm not from the UK, so I don't know all that stuff. Well, even in the UK, we want you to know what we're talking about. So, even in the UK, people explain things and people use more words? Specificities, just so people know what we're talking about. We don't get into things like this where people... We spent 10 minutes now just figuring out where I went on all the time. Okay, but it was to Ireland. Oh, Ireland.

And this is what Ireland Baldwin was named after? Sorry. Yeah. Oh, okay. Exactly right. Interesting. Who probably has a place on the island. Probably.

Is that the daughter? Is that the selfish little pig? That's how he referred to her. That's not how I refer to her. I think she's wonderful. According to him, she's a selfish little pig. By the way, for the record, the last weird thing Alec Baldwin did. Right, right.

Remember, that's the one thing I know. You're nobody in Hollywood until Alec Baldwin kills you. Allegedly. Right, right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So, I'm on holiday in Ireland.

Okay, thank you. That's where Dolph Lund would run. Okay, go ahead. I'm chomping around in the woods because I'm an avid icer. Right. Great. And... Would you say that?

How often do you hike? Like once a week? Three times a day? What are we talking? Well... To be avid about something, I mean... That's your hobby? Is that a hobby?

Driveway in the mailbox is all the way down, so... Do you consider that a hike? I don't. Okay. Do you work up a sweat? I do, but it's only because... It's counts, I think, then. It's counts.

It's counts. It's counts. All right. So... You're done with this. Were you in Ireland? Where you want to move on? I know you want to move forward, but you're not from It's Counts County.

I am originally... Okay, okay. How you are? Then something of a dialect. Okay, sorry. Oh, you know, in It's Counts County voice. Yeah, exactly. Well, we moved off of there.

Kind of vaguely British, but not really. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, so you're in Ireland. Sorry. Do you want to apologize to Muddy here? Muddy, I'd like to apologize for you. Thank you.

For you? No, it's to him. I'd like to apologize for you. Do you, Scott? We're performing an apology for us. Yeah. On behalf of... I accept.

On behalf of Muddy, I want to apologize for him. Okay, thanks. For his behavior thus far. Thank you, Muddy. I appreciate that. And not being able to get to the thing you wanted. Sorry, sorry. I've been a bit of a semantic...

We've attacked you for semantics. Yeah, you're an anti-semantic. But really, ultimately, you're an anti-semantic, and ultimately, it's for semantics. Yes. Please continue. You're in Ireland. You hiked. What happened?

So, jumping through the woods, all of a sudden, I come out into this clearing, right? As far as I can tell, it's like some kind of Celtic Druid Grove type of thing. How could you tell that? Was it the markings on the stones or...? Well, yeah, there were some older cairns. Cairns. Cairns. Oh.

Cairns. And, you know, the air's thick. It's so moist. You can barely breathe, and there's sort of a heavy sort of dark energy lingering there. Everything's dripping, dripping, dewy. It's a sort of a bright, verdant green. You've never seen a fucking green this fucking verdant... Have you seen the Chicago River during St. Patrick's Day?

I have. So, it's greener than that? Greener than Chi Towns River. Even greener than Kermit the Frog himself? Kermit the Frog actually in that fucking green. He's a bit of an off-green... Is that like The Wizard of Oz? How the Wicked Witch of the West was...

What am I thinking of? Green. Wicked. She was green. Yeah, no, but someone wasn't green, and it was a black-and-white movie. What am I thinking of? Well, it was the first colorized color... It wasn't the first color.

Greener, can I ask a question? It wasn't? I know it was the first use of... Color? No, no, they took advantage of it because it was like, hey, look at this. Because it starts in black and white. It does, yeah, but there's something to do with the makeup in some movie where they... Oh, it's maybe the monster?

I don't know. Anyway, go ahead. I'm always getting the monsters mixed up with Wizard of Oz. How can you tell... There are similar stories when you think about it. What's the story of the monsters? What is the story of the monsters? It's about a little girl who travels to the monster's land

via a house. It's the niece that lives with the monsters. She's Alice, right? From Wizard of Oz. From Wizard of Oz. I have everything, I have all the facts right. Okay, sorry, so it's a verdant green... It's verdant green, it's dewy, it's drippy.

There are cairns. Everything's sort of... There's vines, there's trees, everything's sort of this... You're just describing a forest for most of this, too. Yeah, but everything's connected. You get the sense that it's all connected. And it's all, you know, everything's sort of woven. It's not just a fucking forest.

One organism, one pulsating. Right, it's all woven together. It's a lattice work of, you know, plants and shit. I don't know. But I'm looking around, I'm going, God, it's crazy in here. I see these little lights, right? Is it Willow, the wispy sort of... Flying around?

Yeah, floating around in the heather in the fucking tall grass. It's like the movie Legend, Ridley Scott's Legend. What was that? That was Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, yeah. Oh, yeah. One of his first starring films. Yeah, that's the first time they used that, like,

Wishmaster makeup, the demon in that, they sort of like repurposed that for every horror movie. Oh, yeah, the one Tim Curry uses, they repurposed it for... I guess. It's sort of every monster sort of looked like that after that movie. Well, except for the monsters. Right, no. They looked very...

Except for the niece, she sort of looked like that. True. So I see these little... What the fuck is this? And they're sort of floating around. There's these little sprites, these little fairies. I go, Hello, look at you. You're a little fucking fairy.

I got... Because I carry a lot in my pack, my backpack. Sure. And I got prepared, so I took out some... I caught one. You're a fairy now? With, yeah, a net? Or how did you...

With my hands. Oh, okay. My meaty hands. Sorry, you mined using a tool. Well, no. So I... So you're almost like you hammered it or something. Yeah, can I explain it to the audience?

Yeah. And I think just so they can't see it. Right. He's got meaty hands. He's got a... He's got a separate hand that he holds like a paddle. Oh, I see. Oh, like one of those...

Yeah, I had one once. So it's like a thing, like a fake arm with a... Yes, like a grabber arm and you can do it yourself off. Yeah, that's what I did. Yeah, I carry around an extra hand and a stick. It's always good to have an extra set of hands. That's what I did. So you just caught it in your hand?

I caught it. I had some dental floss. Oh. And I tied dental floss around its leg. Around its leg? So you tied it up? I tied it and I kept it on a little leash. And I captured it.

Right. I took it home. Okay. How did... Can it communicate with you? Oh, it never shows so far. Is this the international conundrum? Okay.

So it's actually a supernatural conundrum. So it is an international story. It is. For me, it's an international conundrum because here you are from England. Yeah. But you're doing... Tell the story that's happening in Ireland. You crossed eight lines at this point.

And here we are in the United States of America. It's a supernatural conundrum that has international implications. Implications. Okay, fair enough. All right. You've also... You trafficked... You ferry trafficked.

Right. Is it with you? It's well... Hang on. Don't get too excited. Okay. So listen. The corpse is rotting away on a...

Is that true? Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. Yes. It said, you know, oh, you can have a wish. I'll give you... If you set me free.

Oh, fine. One wish if you said... Right. Right. But I know how these ferries work and leprechauns and shit. If I ask for a big cock, I'm going to get a 10-foot cock. I'm never going to be able to buy pants again. Monkey's paw.

A monkey's paw ship. Yeah. A fucking monkey's paw. I go, I know you. I got to think about this. If I say I want a million dollars, suddenly my dad's dead and I get like... An inheritance. An inheritance or something, you know.

Yeah. And then you got to pay, you know, $980,000 of taxes on it. Right. I'm a pretty smart guy. $20,000 for your dad being dead? I did. Not bad. Buy a lot of tickets with that.

You can build on build? So I thought, let me come... You guys are a bunch of smart guys. I mean, you're not lawyers or anything, but like... I played a lawyer on television. Have you? Mm-hmm. Well...

I play a cop a lot. Yeah? On Big Mouth. Yeah, not on Big Mouth. Oh, that's right. A new movie, Weird, on the Roku Channel. Oh. Got to check that out.

So, he's a bunch of smart guys. So you went from not being able to figure out your wish to immediately coming here because we're a bunch of smart guys? Well... Yeah, we... Or is there any more that happened? He flew, I would imagine, he flew back from Ireland to England. To England.

Right. Big fan of the show knew that Scott's a smart guy, hopefully another... Hopefully Nick would be there. Hopefully Nick would be there. Yep. It's been about eight seasons since he's been on there. Yeah, it's been a while. You then...

Did you fly with your ferry over as your ferry back in... Or did you have to pay for a seat for the ferry? Avonon. Avonon. Like Bono paid for a seat for his hat? Yeah. I smuggled the ferry in an Altoids tin. Yeah.

With holes in it, I hope. With holes in it, I hope. Oh, they don't... It's a magical creature. Oh, it doesn't need to breathe. It doesn't need... Okay. I mean, it likes to breathe, but...

It doesn't need to. It's better to lock it away, because as soon as you start... Its voice is very hypnotic and enchanting. Oh, okay. As soon as you start letting it talk, it starts... Right. As you earlier said, it won't shut the fuck up. It won't shut the fuck up, and suddenly...

So, is it possible that it just talks, talks, talks until you say, I wish you would shut the fuck up? Oh, that's a good thought. That's... I mean, that's... It's an idea. Then it... Then it...

Put on that. Oh, wait. You just looked down. Is it... Is he... He or she? We don't want to... It's a she?

It's a she? Yeah. She. Is she in your jacket right now? Well, look, I don't want everybody to get excited. It's my... I want to say this right straight out, all right? Okay.

It's my fucking little sprite. We can't get a wish? We can't get, like, a little run-off? This is what I was afraid of, all right? Give us a fucking... Let us wet our beaks. You guys can help me... Give us a half a wish.

Give us a half a wish. Give us a half a wish. Why would we do that without any sort of incentive? This doesn't give me one wish. What do you want a wish? What do you want a wish? I want a wish. Can I pitch one?

What? I want a seven-inch cock. I don't want a wish. I'm your wife. I don't know what that is. What? I don't want a wish. I'm your wife.

Is that a problem? It's from the movie The Princess Bright. Oh. The Princess Sprite. The Princess drinks a sprite. The Princess drinks a sprite. The Princess drinks a... Have you...

Can I... Okay. Can I give a suggestion? We're smart guys. You say, I want a lifetime of sprite. Then the sprite trying to confuse you not to give you exactly what you want. Monkey's paw on you gives you a lifetime of sprites that then you can ask for a while. Ask for more wishes, yeah.

Ask for more wishes. Because it'll think she, rather, will think you want a lifetime supply of sprite, the wonderful drink. Yeah. The Pepsi Company, I believe? I think the PepsiCo. Yeah. The PepsiCobell.

They're a PepsiCo. They're a Frito-Lay. A PepsiCo business. PepsiCo. Coke. Coke. Aquafina. A water and a performer.

Do you think Aquafina is now going to have to call itself Aquafina the water instead of the actress? Right. Because of Aquafina? Sure. Sure. Water from Queens. Yeah.

All right. All right. All right. All right. Come on. What's up? All I'm looking... I don't want to fuck around.

I'm looking for... Get to your thing. Like, I've never... Like, you spent so much time describing this fucking field that no one cares about. And then, boom, suddenly you caught this fairy. It's like... The lattice... No, let's get back to the lattice work of roots.

All right. All right. All right. All right. I can't... I'm not going to make a wish where I go, like, oh, let me assume how the sprite's going to try to fuck with me. Yeah.

He's leaving too. I need an airtight... Airtight. Like a fucking contractual... Right. So you want us to what? Like, no hose right up the... Here's my suggestion.

Wish for an airtight wish. Oh. One they can't fuck with, and then they got to give it to you. Yeah. It's a terrible idea. Are you going to take that back? No. I really...

I came in hard. I came in hard with my take. Everyone was excited. And then I pitched a not funny, not useful idea. And I'm going to own that. It's not... It's a good start. Look, I'm not...

What do you want? Because you mentioned, like, your dick size. Is that what you want? You want a 10-foot dick? No. What do you want? And we'll tell you how to hammer this out. Can I ask, what's going on?

Are you married? No. Do you want a family? If it's with the right person. I figure you could get this without a wish. Sorry. Most people get their families without a wish. Just trying to figure out what you really need in your life.

Yeah, what do you want? What do you want? What's the work life? Tell us your desires. Yeah. You haven't thought about this? You have a fairy. I mean, here's the issue, guys.

But what... Are you working? Are you fulfilled by your work? Off and on, you know. I work retail at Topman. You work at Topman? Wait, what kind of store is Topman? Is it clothing store?

It's clothing store. It's called Topman. It could have been anything. It could have been food. It got one in the grove. Yeah, they got a Topman. Okay, I don't know. I don't shop at Topman.

You don't? No. I'm a Forever 21 guy. He said he shops at Bottom Boy. Now, I went in there. I got to confess for the first time thinking it wasn't a clothing store. Yeah. So, here we are.

So, okay. Oh. I think I hear your... Uh-oh. Muddy. I think I hear your fairy. Did you... You just quiet.

You're right. That is hypnotic. Beautiful. Hi. Hi, Scott. Hi, Scott. Hi, Scott. Can I have a wish?

Oh, yes. Of course, if you free me. So, what? Overpower Muddy and then free you? Is that what the conditions are? If you... Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Shut the fuck up and down! Fuck you! intentar Fuck you! Stay down, motherfucker! Stay down.

Motherfucker. Shut the fuck up! I am. I am! Fucker! All right. I am! Fucking Nick!

Oh. Oh! Got him! Okay. Thank you! Okay. Hey! Thank you.

All right. We beat the shit out of Muddy. Now, my friend Nick, helped me. Ow! Ow! Fuck! Fucking Nick! Fuck you!

Shit! All right, I'm down! Tinker! Tinker! Tinker! Tinker! Got it! Hi.

Hi. Oh. Thank you. Uh-oh. I'm tangled in your hair. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Sorry. Hold on. Let me get it out. Okay. Is it out? Oh. I can't quite lock you in here. No, it's mine!

It's mine! It's mine! Oh, stay down, motherfucker. All right. Okay. What's your name? What's your name, dear? What's your name, hon?

Hi. My name is Mifrin. Mifrin, that's a beautiful name. Mifrin. I'm older than the rocks and the stones. I'm not interested in your history, babe. I live in a grove. It's the lattice world.

You live at the grove? Or a top man is? Yeah. Hey, Nick, put that gun down! No! Put that gun down! Shit! Do you have a permit for that, dude?

I don't have a permit. I don't have a permit. I don't have it! Ugh! Oh, fuck! Oh, shit! I can't believe I missed. Oh, I'm shocked!

I can't believe I missed. There it is. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. I missed. Oh, I'm shocked. I can't believe I missed. Ow! I'm shocked. Ow, you grazed me. Oh, I'm not shocked.

I help. Alright, have her. Have her. Oh, fuck. I wish I knew how to name a gun. You wish you knew how to aim a gun? Yes. I think I said I wish I knew how to name a gun.

Yeah. Wait, you're confused, Mifren? I'm confused, yes. Do you want to get some clarity on this? I wish I knew how to name a gun. That's what I said. Okay. Alright.

Are you ready to grant this wish? Yes. Oh, if you free her. Uh-huh. You got to free her, though. I'll free her. Okay, so go ahead. Okay.

Okay. You're free. Yay. Now, do you know how to name a gun now? Yeah. Like what? Morris. There you go.

Okay. Alright, Mifren, you're free. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Can you take me home? Take you home. To Ireland?

Yeah, I don't live here. What is it? Just explain what your place looks like where your home is. What does it look like? He hasn't got lots. It's a moist room. Look, you're going to have to hitch a ride or something. I can't afford.

Yeah. Hold on. I guess like a book of flight. I got miles. You got miles? I got a book of flight for you. Yeah. I'll give you a wish.

If I take you to Ireland? Yeah. Home. I would probably just wish for something that is equivalent to the price of flying to Ireland. I mean, that's like 10 grand or something, especially if you're first class. Yeah. I don't know. I, you know what, 11 grand maybe?

You pay me back with what? Fairy Bucks. I don't think so. Euros. Euros? What do you got in Ireland? What do you guys got in Ireland these days? You guys doing, you guys doing Euros?

Reunification. Yeah. Yeah, no thanks. How do you feel about reunification? We'll see. We'll see how it goes. That's a good answer. I don't know.

I can't go to Ireland. I have a busy schedule. He's got a baby. For anything, you, I'm hungry. Okay. All right. Well, here's what I want. A party-sized bag of chlorine charitos.

And we said party-sized, not party-sized like candies, like fun-sized candies were smaller. No. I mean a big bag. Big ass. Hungry. Yeah, he'll feed you if you give him. I thought you were saying, I'll give you anything you want to get me back to Ireland. What I want in return is-

I think she's saying she's hungry. Oh, I got this party-sized bag of chlorine charitos. You already had a party-sized bag of, why are you wishing for another one? Post podcast. This is a mid-podcast. This is a mid-podcast. I'm not going to eat it now. I'll eat it post-podcast.

This is bullshit. Hey. Let me up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, buddy. It's my spot. I hiked and I found it. Yeah, we heard all about your hike and the beautiful fucking-

Yeah. Oh, gee. Okay, tell you what. If you take her back to Ireland- You take her back? You take her back? Yeah. Okay, we'll let you up.

All right? You're not going to hit us or anything, right? No. Because Nick's got Morris over here. I got Morris and I know how to name him. All right, we'll let you up. Come on back. Come on back.

Fucking it. All right, buddy. You all right, buddy? I forgot what happened. You know what happens if you fuck with us, though, right? Just give me my Sprite. It's not ours to give. We freed her.

Yeah. Miffrin. Miffrin. All right, I got this bottle of empty bottle of Sprite. Yeah. Do you want to use that? I think I can grab it. You guys, get her towards the corner.

Get her towards the corner. Okay. Okay. All right, cut here. Stop hitting the microphone. Put the cap on. I got it. Just flying in front of the microphone.

All right, I got a Sprite. Put the Sprite back in your Sprite bottle. Yeah. Oh. Okay. Oh, sorry. She's trying to say something. I'm going to open the Sprite.

And what do you think? I can't breathe in here. I thought you were magical. You don't have to breathe. You don't have to breathe. No, I do. You do have to breathe. All right.

Oh, you do. Sorry. You should have really checked that before. All right, I'll leave the top off the Sprite bottle. Okay, I'm here. I go. I'm escaping. Oh, man.

Oh, well, we don't know how to solve this problem. Are you ready? What? Come here, fool. I don't fucking know. You thought we were smart guys? Supernatural conundrum. International conundrum for us.

I don't know, dude. Honestly, I just want you to know what you need in your life more than anything else. That's a big question. I guess I want some kind of direction. How about take this fucking Sprite back to the UK? How about East, my man? Well, that's a... Have you ever thought maybe you and Miffrin are supposed to be together?

Yeah, I mean... How would that work? I don't know. She's got holes. What? Excuse me? I don't know. But you guys like...

You know about my hole? Oh, no, no. You guys have matching personalities is all I'm saying. We do? Yeah, you're kind of a drip. She's like kind of boring. You're a drip? Look, I'm going to take George Garland and have an Ika.

No, you're not. You're a drip. She's from a drippy place. You're boring. She's from a drippy place. Boring? Yeah, you're boring. You're boring.

You went down like a sack of potatoes. A fucking magical creature on your show. Who gives a shit? There's been magical creatures on this show before. That doesn't wow me. That don't impress me much. No, no. Shania Twain.

Oh, you know her? Yeah. No, that's it. She's got those rolled up sleeves? Yeah. Look, Muddy, we got to take a break. Oh. Can you stick around though?

Hey, we... Yeah, let's stick around. At a certain level. Mifram Lee's the ground? Mifram Lee's the ground? Yeah. Okay, good. When we come back, we have someone with a unique aspect to them.

That sounds exciting. Now, that's fucking... That's podcasting. I mean, Supercastro Conundrum can go fuck itself when put up against... What'd you say? Unique aspect. Unique aspect, yeah. No, none of my aspects.

No. Nothing unique about bringing a magical creature. Considering going walking to the mailbox, a hike is pretty fucking unique. All right, let's take a break. When we come back, we'll have more Nick Kroll. Wait, I'm sorry. More Muddy. Can we swear on the show?

Yeah, I just found out. Okay, good. All right, we'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Nick Kroll is here. We have a little big boy. Big mouth. We have everything out there on Netflix right now.

Muddy is here as well. Ann Mifrin. Ann Mifrin. Hi, Mifrin. Yeah. Yeah, fly in front of the mic if you want to be heard. Okay. Hi, good to see you.

You're so cute. I wouldn't say your voice is hypnotic, but really didn't live up to that. You didn't say that? It's hypnotic to me. I don't know. I guess. I think we need for each other. Yeah.

I think you guys, maybe that's the wishes that you find love with each other. Yeah. How am I supposed to...she... I don't know. I don't know. The weirder things have happened. Maybe I'll come around by the end. Okay, maybe we'll see.

But speaking of the end, we got one more guest before we get there. We have to introduce him. He has a unique aspect to his character. He's the world's busiest man. Please welcome Ned Bellanella. Hey, Scott. Thank you for having me. Hey, Ned.

Hey, how you doing? I'm Nick Kroll. This is Muddy. Hi, Muddy. And this is Mifrin. Hey, Mifrin. Uh, yeah. Hi.

Not very interesting that she's a little sprite. That's fine. Mifrin's wishes. Yeah, that's fine. It's not interesting. Uh, you know, the guy seems more interesting to me than me. Really? There you go.

Everybody told me. That's something. Ned, you're already interesting. Yeah, well, thank you very much. You know what? I'm a busy guy. You're the world's busiest man, is that true? Yeah, and that's why I'm here to talk to you about how I managed to do it.

Yes, I am the world's busiest man. Is that official or is that just something you call yourself? I'm just always, I'm always running. That's not answering my question. Yes, I am. Is it official? It's official, god damn it. It's official, okay?

I'm always running. I'm always doing errands. I have tons of jobs. I'm a party planner. I'm a toy maker. I'm a chef. I have hundreds of friends. I have a husband, a wife.

I have kids. Oh, no. Yes, I have tons of, I do tons of things. I am a husband. Did I say I am? You said you have a husband. I am a husband. Because I was going to say a husband and a wife.

Because you could have a husband and a wife. That would be very busy. That would be very busy. Yes. Yeah, I thought that was part of your busyness. You have a husband and a wife. No, no, no. We're not going to get stuck up.

We're not going to get stuck on things that I say. I'm not going to get stuck up. Well, God. Well, now you're doing it. All right? You're taking out those treats. I was done energy railing this old shop. Listen, I got a lot of stuff going on.

November's my busiest month. I was going to say, he's busier than you. So he's not, he can't get stuck on this. There's only 30 days in November though. What's that? There's only 30 days. I don't know if you know this, but November's the busiest month. Any month with 31 days in it would have to be busy.

Excuse me. I got to, I got to take this call, Scott. I got to take this call. Hold on, Scott. You have a call. Okay. Hello? Hello?

Yes? Yes? Uh-huh. I told you what I wanted in the painting. Uh-huh. Yeah. Two nude ladies. Uh-huh.

Completely seductive on the ground. Yes. Kneel to grass Tyson. That's right. His hand is a wand. Yes. Spread ass. That's right.

Yeah, they're all in Starbucks. Extra wet. See you on Tuesday. Thank you. So sorry about Scott. They were talking the whole time. He's talking. Sorry about Scott.

So who was that? That was your assistant or that was a painter? No, that was somebody I commissioned for a painting. I apologize. I've got a lot of stuff going on right now. I can't really talk. No problem. Look, I'm a private man, okay?

So everything, please try not to ask me any questions about these phone calls. I may get, I will get a lot of them. You're already planning on more phone calls? I just, I don't know. You're a busy man. Yes. Hold on, Scott. I can't get another phone call.

Another one? All right. Go ahead and take it. All right. Hold on a second. Yes. You got a green light. My first movie.

Excellent. Wow. I want you to call it my onion. Yes. $300. Okay. That seems worth it. Let's do it.

Total budget and the price of the onion. You got it. Okay. Thank you very much. Oh, sorry about that, Scott. So yes. So what are we talking about? How about it for time?

Did you manage? Greenlit? Yes. It got greenlit, but I can't really talk about it. A 300 hour movie? It's called my onion. It's my favorite onion. The last 300 hours of that's the shooting schedule.

$300 is the budget? $300. Yes. $300. Oh, I heard hours. What about 300 hours? $300. I don't have that.

What was that movie? 147 hours? 187 hours. 187. So it would be the sequel to that. Yes. James Franco. I've never seen, I can't sit long enough for a goddamn...

It's too long for a movie. Excuse me. That's my other phone. Hold on a second. Why come on a... Just take these calls at your own cost. All right. I want you to go into my backyard.

Okay. You see the fence? Make a left. Yes. Walk over to the small creek. Now there should be a finger sticking out of the ground. Exactly. As if to say, you-hoo!

Over here. Yes. Uh-huh. Now I want you... That's where the bodies are buried. All five dogs. Okay. They should be decaying.

I'm guessing about as big as a bush. Exactly. I want you to give them a Viking funeral and see me on Tuesday. Bye-bye. Hi. Sorry. We're amongst all the dogs. A human finger?

This is client attorney privilege. I can't really talk about that. That was your attorney? No. You're the attorney for someone. I'm also a lawyer on the side. Oh, it's a someone else. I have tons of jobs.

The dogs are the humans who have killed the dogs. I've never defended how would that work? A dog attorney. I don't know. It's a great movie. Write it down. It's a great movie. Dogs are supposed to represent themselves in your universe?

I don't... What kind of budget? What kind of budget would you need for dog attorney? Dog attorney. Jesus. Are we talking CGI here or real dogs? CGI humans, real dogs. CGI human, real dogs?

$350. Okay. All right. We can't buy the peanut butter. You'd have to make it. I'm sorry. This is my mom's OBGYN. Okay.

I got to take this. Go ahead. Take it. Okay, hello. I'm sorry. Yes. Your mom's OBGYN. Wow.

Doctor, that pink. Unbelievable. And the medicine goes where? Inside. Well, she'd be wet as hell, Dr. Civillo. Thank you. Okay. Sorry about that, guys.

That was my mom's OBGYN. I don't know that I don't know about it. Can I just call my mom for a second and let her know about it? Go ahead. Take it on too many reasons. You know what? My mom is calling right now. Okay, great.

Okay, she's calling without mom? Yes. Okay. Listen. It's slip inside. I want you on your back in bed with your feet up in the air towards the ceiling. Put Elsa on. Just put Elsa on.

Who's Elsa? Elsa's her helper. Oh, okay. Yes. Yes. Put her feet in the air. Listen to what she says. And I'll give you an Oreo, Elsa.

I'll give you a little fucking Oreo and get your mouth full of chocolatey. Okay? Thank you. Bye. Oh, God. Did you do it? I hope she did. My mom's in trouble.

Is your mom expecting? My mom is not expecting, no. But she can still carry a child? She has something wrong with her down there. But she's going to the OBGYN. Yes. And her OBGYN reports to me because she's kind of nuts. So attorney client privilege is important to you.

No, no, no. She's an example to us all. I use her to talk about, you know, the disease. Yeah, that's all right. Can we talk about what you're here to talk about? Sure, yes. I'm talking about how to manage your time correctly. Okay.

It doesn't seem like you're doing it all the way. What do you mean? Well, I mean, you've taken five phone calls since you've been here. I'm sorry. That's my kombucha alarm. I've got to take some kombucha first. Yeah, no problem. Go ahead.

How much kombucha? Take a sip. Why do you need an alarm for one sip of kombucha? I just need to remind myself. I can't. I don't remember. Usually my doctor prescribed me kombucha. Please, please, please.

It's okay. It's okay, Ned. It's okay, Ned. All right. Calm down, calm down. So you're here to talk about tips. I'm here to talk about tips and tricks about how to manage your time. Okay.

What are the, what's the main tip that we have? The main tip is, I'm sorry, just give me one second here. Okay. Hello? Yes. I'm just planning a Thanksgiving party. Yes. Hello.

Yes. Hello? 60 to 70 people. Small? Yes. Okay. One classic Thanksgiving sandwich. No turkey.

Okay. Limp celery sticks. Make sure they're very limp and wet. That's right. And pineapple juice. Just a party, please. Yes. Mustard all day.

All day long, all the way. Outside the bun, please. Yes. With Advil. A black olive. Extra weight. That's right. A leave is fine, sir.

A leave is fine. And olives in a plastic bag with raisins. That's right. And make sure an old woman with olives drinking a Dr. Pepper with dirty red nails touches everything. Thank you so much. Okay. Sorry about that.

That's okay. Sorry. It's November. I told you. It's my busiest month. Just because of what? Because of the sheer number of phone calls I get. Okay.

It's okay. It's okay. Oh my God. That's my plumber. Hold on a second. That's all right. Hi, Ivan. Yes.

Okay. So here's the deal, Ivan. I cut the turd with a paper plate. It was huge, but that wasn't the problem. I tried to flush the plate, Ivan. I don't know. I just know that my socks were completely soaked, Ivan. Yes.

Okay. Thank you so much. I'll make sure to tell him. All right. Buy that. Okay. Okay. That's good.

I'm sorry about that. It's no problem. Did we ever get to that first tip? We don't have to get to that first tip. Was it your shit? Yes. It was a very long shit. It was my shit.

It was long. That was the issue. Well, have you ever tried to take a very long shit? Have you ever tried to take a very long shit? No. Don't shit. Don't shit. Don't shit.

Okay. In one of those days, you're going to make a little snake. It's going to be like pinkberry in your toilet. Okay. I don't want that. You don't want that? I don't know. That's something I don't want.

Okay. Well, I can handle it. I don't want to add it. You seem very busy, but can I add? If it's quick. Yes. I think you should paint the bottom of your toilet to look like a waffle cone so that when you make your mess.

Then it's fun when the plumber hits. I love that idea. I love that. What are you doing tomorrow? Do you want him to paint it? Do you want to follow through on your idea or no? Hold on a second. That's my bug wrangler.

That's my bug wrangler. Yes. That's him. That's my bug wrangler. Okay. Hello. Joe, how are you? Yes.

I need two large long horn beetles. Of course they do. They need to fit in a woman's throat. What? She's about 55. Five foot four. Yes. Can she sing?

Yeah. She can sing. God damn it. Okay. Uh-huh. Yeah. Hello. Yes.

So what you want to do is write things down so you don't forget. Write things down. Okay. This is a good tip. So I'll write down that tip right now. Okay. Yes. Number one.

Write things down. Okay. Good tip. Okay. And anything, what are the other tips? Well, what you want to do is... Okay. That's my Viagra alarm.

I just need to take some Viagra. Why do you need Viagra this early in the morning? I'm trying to stay constantly hard. Why? Why? Because I want to be like a diabetes patient. I want my penis to be always hard. Okay.

What's that about? No. I didn't know. Well, you'll learn it. Is that sound effect called Oingo Boingo? That is called Oingo Boingo. In the phone? Yeah.

Very fun. Very fun. Oh, hold on a second. Yes. How did you know your phone was going to ring? I feel it vibrate before. Oh, before the sound. Hello.

He's got an explanation for everything. Hello. Yes. Uh-huh. Scott, it's you. What? Sure. I'll come on the show when I'm already on.

What are you talking about? What? I'm getting another phone call on my second phone. Huh? Hello? Nick. Yes? Nick, do you have an ant?

Uh-huh. You have an ant? Sure. I'll be the father, sweetie. It's about three inches. All head, baby. Hold on a second. That's my kombucha alarm.

Okay. Take your kombucha. One more sip. That's it. Oh, no. You're Viagra. Okay. Hold on a second.

Yes. It's my mistress, Karina. Hold on a second. Karina. Hi. Let me ask. I'm from the south of Little Italy. It's north.

It's north? Okay. Honey, I want you to go south. Yes. Okay. You're directing her two times. I want her perpetually lost, yes. Okay, perpetually.

Okay. I came on for advice. I didn't get anything. All we did was give her directions. Yeah. To be fair, we gave you directions back to Ireland. Frankly, it was a supernatural conundrum. All right.

Wow. Okay, wow. Wow. That was a busy ten minutes. That's a busy, unique aspect to us. How do you relax? Let's see. I don't sleep.

I barely sleep. I take some Xanax. Sometimes I have to force myself to sleep. Oh, okay. But sex, basically sex. Oh, okay, good. Constant sex. Hold on.

Oh, no problem. Oh, it's my doctor, Dr. Civio. Hello. It's my cancer results. Oh, are you saying you want to take these on air? Just hold on. Yes. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh no. Oh no, Dr. Civio. Oh no. Dr. Civio. Say it ain't so. They didn't get the results back yet.

Okay. Apparently a hungry nurse ate some of the wires. Some of the wires? I don't know. What happened there? Oh my gosh. Okay, wow. I'm so sorry.

Well, I'm relieved that it wasn't because it seemed like it was bad news. I'm relieved it's... No. We don't know what the news is yet. What did you think it was bad news? You said, oh my god, and I can believe you. The tone of your voice. Yeah, the tone of your voice.

The wires. The wires were eaten by... It's a weird story. What would you say? Wait, you just react for a second. What's a role play? A hungry nurse eats the wire, eats some machines in a hospital. Just react.

That's so strange. What would you say? I just did it. Do you know the nurse? You know the nurse? You know the nurse? You fear for her life. Okay.

Oh no. Yes, see right there. Can I do an impression of me calling her to check in on her? Yeah, sure. Hello nurse. I love that. Absolutely. You have enough time to love that.

Hold on a second. It's my travel agent. Travel agent? Yes. I'm flying out of Kansas City on July 4th at 5 in the morning. Yes. Through the fireworks, please. Yes.

Arriving downtown Phoenix. New Year's Eve at 5 a.m. Thank you. He'll be circling. I don't think there'll be fireworks at 5 a.m. on July 4th. But you will circle the U.S. for about six months. From July 4th until you land on New Year's Eve. That's the plan.

Refilling the air. Wow. Stanley Kubrick style. I don't know when he did that. He did that in his movie. Yeah, he did it in the film. In the film. Doctor Strange.

Doctor Strange love. I thought that was part of his weird personality. I mean, what do you think the budget for that movie was? About $350, $325. I've never seen it though. I can't see a movie all the way through. Oh, you're so busy. Yeah, imagine taking too many calls.

Hold on a second. It's my son's school. I have twins. The school? They're school. My son's school. Yes. Hello.

They are allergic. Yes. My girlfriend will handle it. She's in the parking lot. I'm sitting in a Nissan Ultima right now with Black. This is not your mistress. This is your girlfriend. Extra wet, sweetheart.

Okay. Sorry about that. Oh, geez. Was that last part to the school? That was to the school, yes. Are you sleeping with an administrator at the school? I am sleeping with. I'm so under you're so busy.

I'm so busy. If you just cut down and just slept with your wife. Absolutely not. You know what I did? I went to a trainer to come faster. Uh-huh. Yes. I come so quickly.

I come immediately. On touch or on breath. Okay. But this not doesn't feel pre... Pre-chaculate? Absolutely not. Is it even pleasurable? At this point, no.

But the pleasure hits me like a flashback in the middle of the night. Oh, sometimes I'm sleeping. God, I'm sweating like a pig right now. You really are. Do you know what? There couldn't possibly be more calls. Do you know what this... I'm sorry.

Hold on a second. It's not a problem. It's a case. I'm a lawyer too. Oh, okay. We know that. Jacob. Yes.

I'm sorry. I lost all the evidence. Possibly. It was a mistake to take it to the beach, Jacob. I apologize. Yes. It was the windiest day of the year. Is your lawyer...

Is your client... Hold on a second. I'm getting asked a question. No, no, no. What is it? Is Jacob called, Jacob, the lawyer? Oh, is it Jacob from the acts of the big, big billboard guy? Sure.

That's him. That's him? Yeah. You lost his evidence. Listen, furthermore, I apologize. I apologize for walking into the ocean or carrying pills and pills of water and spilling it into my trunk where the documents were. You're a bad lawyer.

I'm sorry, Jacob. I have to go. Kombucha time. Okay. Look, Ned. Ned. Ned. I can't say that this appearance was successful.

We got to one tip and that was it. I apologize. We just don't have time. Write things down. Write things down. Yes. You have a problem with that? Huh?

You have a problem with my tips? You're far too busy. You're far too busy to be on this show. How many more calls do you have? I have a few more calls. Do you? Yes. Because we're running out of time.

Okay, wait. Just hold on a second. Is this a different phone? Yes. Ms. Erickson? I'm a babysitter on the side. I'm a babysitter. Your son?

I left him in the hair salon, sweetie. I was there to see an older woman I'm dating and, of course, to get my crack waxed. Yes. Yes. I forgot him there. Mm-hmm. And the crypt should be extra wet, sweetie. Bye.

Okay, look. We're running out of time. Okay, sorry. Unfortunately, we didn't get to any of your time. I'm running out of time too. I have to get out of here. Yeah, I understand. But we only have time for one final feature on the show.

That's a little something called plugs. Hey, nice and short. I love it. That was Plug Basket by Ben Centra. All right, Ben. Nick, what do you want to plug? I want to plug, I think we've spent the whole time, a little big boy on Netflix and Big Mouth New Season also on Netflix.

Wonderful. Muddy Brickford. Oh, I don't have anything to plug, but I'd like to take this moment to propose. What? There's a little romantic movement. Oh, yes. You guys were right. I'm a minister on the side.

Oh, wow. Are you? Yes. Do you take this very quickly? I don't want to add anything more to your plate. No, no, no, no, no. Are you sure you can take this? He's already gone.

Are you ready? Do you want to do it now? Are you ready? She hasn't even said yes. I have to think about it. Oh, Jesus Christ. Christ Almighty. Jesus Christ.

It's my wish for you to be my wife. Oh. I don't know how I feel about this kind of like... Your wish is granted. Oh. Did she really get consent? I feel like in the 90s this would be romantic and now just problematic. All right.

Now it just feels pretty bad. I now pronounce you man and wife, or man and fairy. Oh, thank you. You make me the happiest man. And I'm happy too. Oh, great. Even though it was a wish. Okay.

I still want it. You're still happy? Okay. Congratulations, you too. I wonder how this, but I wonder what the turn will be for this, their marriage. Yeah, the big ironic twist. The 10-foot dick. There we go.

Yeah. What about an island? Ned, do you have anything you want to plug for her? Yes, I would love to plug... Hold on a second. It's my mom's OBGYN. Oh, no. Again.

Yes, doctor? What do you mean? Don't do it. What do you mean? Don't slip it inside. What? Hold on a second. I gotta...

Yes. Mom? Put Elsa on. What do you mean you already put it in there? Elsa, take it out. Christ, listen to me. It's not working. What do you mean?

Oh, I'm getting a phone call. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's too much going on. You're getting your bone out of there? If it's leaking, that's the problem, Elsa. That's the problem. Turn 90 degrees up. Extra wet.

Oh, no. The wedding ring... The wedding ring's a little tight. It's a little uncomfortable. Oh, no. Can I get a looser wedding ring? No. That's the ironic twist.

Your wedding ring is slightly... Can I take it off sometimes? No. It keeps getting tighter. Your finger is turning blue. Yeah, it keeps turning blue. It's just a little tight. Yeah.

Oh, my God. It's really not comfortable. It's as blue as a dang smurf. No. Oh, this is bad. Well, I'd like to plug my butcher shop. Oh. You have a butcher shop?

Yes, I have a butcher shop. Yeah? What? Okay, sure. I've never been there. It looks like or where it is. The name? The name?

Butchies. Butchies? Okay, not a bad name for butchies. No, that's right. My uncle Dupree runs it right now. See what you, me, and Dupree was based on? Yeah, that's exactly right. You, me, and Dupree is about my butcher shop.

He's a fucking idiot. He eats all the meat. Did you make that movie? He eats all the meat? I did make that movie. What was the budget on that? $325, $26. So low budget.

Low... Well, is that low? I'm not sure. What kind of budget do you think is high? I mean, I don't know. Like, probably $400? Yeah, probably $400, right? Yeah.

$400 seems astronomical to me. It's insane. Yeah. Usually a big budget comes in around $350. Okay. Well, great. Butchies go, if you can find it. Yes.

Yeah, but all the meat will be eaten by Dupree, unfortunately. That's right. Oh, my uncle. Dupree's uncle. I want to plug the Comedy Bang Bang book. I'm still signing copies. You can still order a signed copy. It comes out in April.

Head over to comedybangbangworld.com slash book to order one of the signed copies or just order a regular copy. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Boop. Take one hand, put it up. Take the other, put it down. You're going to make a box. It's time to start to close it.

But don't close it too much or you open up the plug. Take one hand, put it up. Take the other, put it down. You're going to make a box. It's time to start to close it. But don't close it too much or you open up the plug bag. We're opening up the plug bag. And when you open up that plug bag,

you open up your heart for the rest of the world. I'm talking open up the plug bag. Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang.

Wow, that was Comedy Bang Bang by Duncan Meek, which I assume is a parody of Duncan Sheik. Thank you so much. And guys, I want to thank you. Nick, always great to see you. God bless you. God bless America. Hey, I'll take both.

And of course, Muddy and Mifrin, congratulations. You're going to need that to be amputated, I'm pretty sure. I don't think that's allowed. Do you amputate fingers? Unfortunately, I don't. Hold on a second. Thank you, Nick, for being on the show. You want me to take this or not?

Yeah, go ahead and take it. Okay, hello? Yes. It's bleeding. Of course. What's bleeding? Just let her bleed. This is your mother?

Videotape it. Videotape it. Record it. And record it? Now, masturbate. What? To my voice. As I talk to Scott and Nick.

No. And the little man from Ireland. Please don't masturbate to our voices. I'm really not comfortable with that. He's from... Hello. It's called waiting, yes. Hello?

It makes a noise like that? Uh-oh. It's my viagra alarm calling. Okay. Calling? All right, thanks. We'll see you next time. Thanks, bye.

Thanks.