Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Patton Oswalt, Suzi Barrett, Dave Theune, Peter Banifaz

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

Comedian and actor Patton Oswalt joins Scott to talk about his new movie I Love My Dad, skipping apps, and his SNL dream cast. Then, scientist Ellen Norton-Simon Harris-Finley Finister stops by to talk about getting kids jazzed about science. Later, Scott’s new neighbor Dean Hormel drops by to invite everyone to his block party. Plus, musician Johnny Scat visits to talk about the scat community.

I love living here rent-free I just hate my roommate this guy's brain welcome to comedy bang bang forgot the title of my own show oh my gosh welcome to comedy bang bang thank you to Oliver Omendez Oliver Omendez for that wonderful catchphrase mission welcome back to the show if you are returning this is your first one welcome to it entirely and god I got to get better at this going out on a big tour starting today and I am still not good at hosting the show welcome to the show and we have a great one for you today coming up a little later we have a musician we have a member of the community oh that's

exciting I would imagine this community but perhaps their own community and I have a scientist that is an exciting lineup for the other back half of the show but before we get to them look the COVID era and the backyard era it was very difficult to get celebrities on this show no one wanted to come to my backyard for some reason now people are they're very frightened of can I go out to a studio I don't know but look we landed one today we got the big fish today we hooked him and I'm reeling him in right now as we speak he is the star of the upcoming movie I love my dad which is out this Friday is it in

theaters or is it on this Friday in theaters August 12th streaming on Hulu oh my god boom boom we wanted it in the theater goddamn if you can believe it it is out there for an Oscar qualifying run for one week only August 5th but you know him as a stand-up comedian as an actor as a voiceover artist he's an old friend of the show please welcome back Patton Oswald hello thank you Scott thank you for having me here during the sweet spot between COVID and Monkey Pox between the little breather that the whole country's taking I'm so happy to come in during this journey during these end days I haven't read up too much on

Monkey Pox I my brain just can't take it I feel like I'm healing from the last couple of years but is it a concern to us at this point you know what Monkey Pox to me feels like I just learned how to use the Twitter app and everyone's like no you got to get on Instagram like I can't dude I just spent too much time mastering this one app can't get on top of you I'll just know it when I know it can't do it I would skip every app that people would send me I would get like every other one basically so like if I signed up for Twitter then people go oh you got to get on whatever then I would get that one and then that one would

usually fall away and then I would so I actually got on to Twitter and Instagram because they were the other one you know why and I know exactly what I did the same thing because I skipped Vine it was it was Twitter and then oh you got to get on Vine and I was like it's time and then Instagram was oh Twitter with just more pictures and then I skip 100% more pictures and then I have I have skipped Snapchat and TikTok yeah skip TikTok I feel like that was a mistake yeah turn out to be popular but then I did sign up for a few that were just like dead within two days even they're like hey no one signed up for this really yeah we

got to close it down but you had a bunch of followers on Truth Social for a while that was it was blowing up come on man don't don't you were getting re-truthed a lot is all I'm saying Patton it's great to have you back on the show you're one of our oldest friends let me see let me I know you were on episode 30 for some reason that sticks out in my brain that I was 30 the I brain episode yes I was like hey I was on comedy bang bang when it was on the radio man yeah when it was comedy death ray I was here I was here before it was CBGB I was in CBGB before it got turned into the John Varvato store I should

change the initials to CBGB shouldn't I absolutely CBB got CBB CBGB yeah using it there you go but you're you've been on so many times and what else is there really left to say I dropped my pen by the way I'm gonna try to pick it up that there's a lot more to know it's not like I was writing with it but it just felt comfortable in my hand you know if you saw the brave journey that Scott was going through right now with his giant aircast trying to get his okay so no people people don't know that listen to this but yes I broke my ankle and I hope it's I hope it's off by the time the tour starts tonight I assumed it was part

of your Instagram story the minute you did it I I assumed you storied it while it was happening no no I don't live my life online I'm certain celebrities I know but welcome to the show pattern you you have this new movie I love my dad I saw it last night and when I say last night I mean yesterday afternoon yes how do you feel about that the movie should be a night thing I haven't I had the temerity to watch it in the afternoon I have embraced that the world of lies that we all live in in this business called show and I'm so beyond it it doesn't bother me at all felt weird lying to you about it yeah you could have

said I went to a special screening at the DJ and then literally shook him like no I didn't I'm like fine it doesn't faze me long as you watch it I don't care I did watch it I really enjoyed it it is a very unique film I guess every film is unique otherwise they couldn't put it out right there'd be copyright problems tell that to asylum the asylum which cranks out those oh ours is called Atlantic Rim so it's nothing like Pacific are you kidding no it's our own thing I like that they are putting out parodies of movies that failed yeah well I love that they I just there's something beautiful about they look at what's

gonna come out in a year or two because they look at all right we read trades and go and they just gamble it that'll be huge let's do a quick it's exactly what we did exactly what we did a DreamWorks animation a shark tail came out when finding Nemo did the exact same time there you go but it is a cool film and I would I guess I would say an indie film and when I say that I don't mean Indiana Jones film so no people should not be expecting don't get oh god no good old Indiana that's no that was the dogs name we did with none of that will be happening is that right absolutely none of that I'm even more immobile in this

movie than Connery was and then Harrison Ford is now it a new one oh my god that poor guy's gonna happen why are they making him do that I imagine it's a gunpoint but what what is this about do a movie about a short round all grown up yes I mean everything everywhere all at once which a good guy named Peter is in yeah put him in there there you go there's your next franchise yeah but yeah I what why do that I mean it can't be good right give us give us some of your pop culture takes here's what I'm worried because I love Harrison Ford but I worried it's gonna be like that remember that last Lucio balls that come they

tried to do here's Lucy or life with Lucy yeah and she's climbing up the ladder in the store to get something and you hear the audience go oh like no one laughing no no no no no no no no no it's like we love to see her trounce it around in that grape that's great hilarious but like add another 30 years on to it no honey no it's like no no no no no no no no no so yeah this is um I hope it's good cuz hey more Indiana Jones but I hope they pass the torch from what I understand they say they're not in that what's his name the guy who's playing Mario what's his name the guy who's playing Mario you know his voice

is Mario you know Chris Pratt yeah supposedly he no one even offered it to him and he's out there going like oh I'm not gonna do it because Harrison Ford doesn't want anyone else to take over the role so he wait a minute he preemptively was refusing the role that he wasn't being offered this is the thing everyone gives him everything he's out there playing Mario he's out there he does every single role yeah so he has to now start like deflecting them like batting him away before he ever gets right oh my god so for that no for the driving this Daisy prequel I will not be that that that should be an actress that

should be a young actress it should not be me and I appreciate it I'm flattered but please driving Miss Daisy I've not seen it that's on the list for Scott hasn't seen but Dan Akroyd one of the few SNL cast members to be nominated for an Oscar can you name the others yes hang on I'm hanging hold the line Paton Paton is oh my god wait wait other cast members that have been nominated for an Oscar anyone who's ever been an official cast member can you name any of them wait a minute I'm trying to go more recently okay go recent then go in the middle was Steve Martin ever nominated

he's not a cast member oh that's wait a minute that's so you're totally off already wow am I off I cannot think you can't think of any okay I'm gonna give you one what Bill Murray that's right for okay does that jog your memory no it does not but let me keep thinking um was Christopher guest ever nominated he has not been or no I don't believe so no no um oh Melissa McCartney no she's not a cast member Paton although wait a minute of all these guest stars yeah I know I'm thinking of the guest because they feel like family don't they they really feel like family don't they Tina Fey Tina Fey I believe was nominated for an

Oscar for a screenplay for a screenplay for mean girls I think yes and who else this is gonna be embarrassing because be someone I should alright here we go we got Eddie Murphy oh for dream girls yep we have Joan Cusack twice yes we have Robert Downey Jr. oh yeah and Michael McKeen yes and Michael McKeen was nominated for for a song I believe in the mighty wind yes kiss at the end of the rainbow yes oh that's right and going back the earliest cast member to ever be nominated Randy Quaid oh my lord Randy Quaid for either either the last detail last detail I learned before the last picture show last picture one of

those anything would last in it yes if he can just get another movie with the word last in it the last starfighter the last if they reboot that oh my god they they should reboot that and have the alien the Robert Preston role be Randy Quaid the way he is now so he's just absolutely telling everyone the plop they're like well he's guys nuts no one listens to him Randy Quaid is sort of his character in that other alien movie yes he absolutely became that other one independence day was that other alien movie there was some reason there was another one what was that other one a starfighter I believe one of the first

films ever you CGI yes completely computer jet all I remember about last fighter is a friend of my one of my dad's friends growing up in the suburbs over here added nowhere he just said that's the movie I ever cried in was last what at the end I guess when he goes back up into space or something it made my friends dad okay that's like man I belong up there yeah so so you've never seen another film me that's the only it was that one and you saw the one where the train pulled into the station you jump behind the couch that one's very frightening I saw a special DGA screening of that one wow man it was

incredible people shit in their pants yeah oh crazy still works today even with all the CGI that still works today if you've seen the new Downton Abbey movie I believe they have a scene in there where people watch that movie it's very funny everyone goes fucking nuts that movie is crazy the new Downton now I don't know if you've ever seen the show I love the show but I didn't see the movie okay the first movie is pretty good and feels like a direct continuation this one is nuts oh really it's like oh they split into two groups half the family goes to France and has Downton Abbey's French holiday what and then

half of the of the cast stays there at Downton Abbey and they film a Hollywood movie in Downton Abbey it is nuts wait wait what what years does this take place in like in the 40s or 30 it's right when sound is invented and believe you me that's a little bit of a subplots lady Mary may have to dub a particular actress's voice because it's so it's the singing in the rain it's singing yeah oh good god no now that we're talking about SNL though I've sort of jogged your memory on it dreamcast you got a name seven people in one of them does update oh but can I can I pick people from any era so I'm

assembling my my there are no rules there are no rules I can I pick people that have never been on the show yes oh okay for instance I would pick go ahead the little tramp himself Charlie Chaplin Harold Lloyd Jesus Christ Adolf Hitler Hitler great mustache well you want him and Charlie Chaplin especially yeah and especially to oh my that those two together come on come on that would be great and then and then Hitler obviously to do we can update he does update yeah first full delivery if you've ever seen Prime from the will he could yeah exactly he can just his voice just gets higher and higher you started

doing the Nazi salute like I'm so glad you were miming his voice getting higher and you ended up just like doing a full zig hi a ladder what this isn't on YouTube that would be oh my gosh should be end of my career who do you want there any anyone at all who do I want in there I want um oh my gosh I want Mark Rylance mm-hmm I want like a really deep serious actor doing stuff yeah they're forced to do it by the way and they can't quit oh yeah exactly they have to do they have to do 10 seasons so that in the end seasons you see how they try to revolt oh my god it's almost like a severance version of SNL where they're

trying to get out oh well in that case then I want someone like a Francis McDormand because the way she would revolt would be amazing she's also so nutty that yeah personally though I think she'd actually be good at it yeah she she would have no patience for it but if you make her do it and force her to do it like exactly forcing Harrison Ford to do Indiana Jones then it would be amazing oh I'd want Harrison Ford in there sure he would be angry that he was there from the get-go he's our Phil Hartman he oh he's the utility player utility player throw him in there put him in a put him in a pirate hat put him

in a he could be the um the put-up on grocery store manager and then who does update like who like rather date broke off I would like I mean they're so good at reading the news yeah and everyone always gives that other guy what's his name the the girls actresses father the girls actresses father wait you know what I'm talking about no I don't he just he just retired oh bright yeah yeah Brian Cranston okay Brian Williams although Brian Cranston doing update he did that network on Broadway with Tatiana yeah he actually might be Brian Cranston doing update because he'd be so deadpan yeah and so serious he wouldn't

although that's the thing I'm worried about because sometimes when really amazing dramatic actors try to do comedy they think they have to be really wacky and big yeah well they'll learn their lesson after about like three episodes of getting nothing yeah so Lauren will come but Lauren will still be there right exactly he'll come over and say like oh tone it down just a little Brian if you the more you throw it away you'll get it back three times three days multi think of it as like doing an evil spell in the craft it comes back on you three times try to envision if you can envision for who's

your ball why has learned Michael's a huge craft and by the way this is the third time you've mentioned I really have I don't know why the hell why is the craft on your mind I don't know why that came up you know why I'll tell you why because the craft of acting yes we're here to discuss that is what we're here to talk about and you have done it exceptionally well in this new movie I love my dad coming out in theaters this Friday Friday tell us about the you say the plot the plot is about a father who is cut off by his son on all social media phone number disaster of a father horrible father horrible father

and so his son blocks him on so like I don't want anything to do with you and so the father in order to stay in touch with the son who is has had some psychological problems and the father is worried about him even though the father is the source of the psychological problems creates a fake Facebook profile and basically catfish is his own son creates this fake hot girl so that he can stay in touch with her and this this plot that I'm describing actually happened to the writer director his father as the son yes as the son when he was a son his father actually did this to him in order to stay in touch with him

and give him advice he ended up falling in love with this fake girl and then realized oh this was my dad and so it's a whole it is beyond cringe yes what happens it's amazing it you know it's one of those movies where yes you are watching it going like oh these choices the characters making what is he doing but it's not it's not even like sometimes that can be a bit overbearing of just yeah oh god this is just too much but it's actually a very human film it has a lot to say about relationships and emotions and do I sound like a robot when I talk no I'm just glad you're reading off the press release humans

it is about I mean it's about how the it's that idea of I'll do anything to stay in touch with my son or daughter it's like well let's take that to an extreme yes what are you willing to do and your character does some things that in his mind you see here's what you see and I think we're all guilty of this you see that the classic don't I get credit for wanting to do the good thing like look at my intentions are really really good here even though there's no follow-through or the follow-through is horrific right and I and I just I've had times in my life when I it took me till after I screwed up that someone said

to understand that wanting to do the good thing but then not actually showing up to do it is actually worse than if you just intentions almost mean nothing yeah exactly and it's even worse if you can acknowledge that intention and then go but I'm not doing that right that's even worse interesting so this is taught you a lot about your own life it's made me look back on stuff that I've done that made me go go yeah that was and yet I haven't gotten a call interesting all right well that's gonna I have to wait for the movie to come out first and see how it does if it does well then I use it for the apology okay great you see how

I'll be waiting for like what about a week or two yeah when you get the B.O. back just give if you go on box office mojo on Monday the 8th of August see how it did and then you'll you can expect the call well what I what I like about the movie too is is you know this could be the stuff of like big broad comedy yes and yet they make every choice that the characters make is actually very real and in that character's head yes exactly like maybe we wouldn't do it but you see why they're it's not just like you know like I can imagine the terrible 80s porkies version of this where it's like or American pie

version where it's like not justified and it's just like there to create like screams of laughter it is very justified in the characters yeah you can see in like comedies where you can almost see the whiteboard where they wrote got to have this situation this one this one and then you see how they're shoehorning it just to get to those scenes and then you see the comedies where it actually weirdly enough in a lot of fairly brothers movies as outrageous as things get they do take they've clearly taken the time to get to the logic of how did we get to this moment as absurd as it is they do try to have that they had that

semen in Ben Stiller's hair yes they really they worked on that that was I know that they I know that they know what you think of that see I know that they um does he still have it there I asked Adam Scott that about the severance set they brought in still had the semen in his hair from them they brought in Robert town for a month on that and it boy that paid off I heard that on the American by they had all those cards up on the wall and there was one card that said dick and there was one that said pie and then they dropped yeah all the cards it was they got all mixed up and then suddenly they were next to each

other and they're like dick pie it was a it was a Reese's peanut butter cup situation and they got you got dick in my pie wait a minute say that again say that again that oh my god dick pie would it have been as popular if it had been a Reese's peanut butter cup that he stuck his penis into if they have found a logical way to get the dick in there it would have it still would have worked but you got it that's extra work very good open a new final draft file that Noswald is here I love my dad oh do you that's great and also we promote my movie oh yes okay I love my dad is how many theaters I don't know it's in a

bunch of theaters at least one you have to admit yeah and we agree on that much I'm pretty sure we're in the new art so if wherever you are in the country if you can fly out here get to the new art it's it's a great theater to see a movie in I love my dad it is a good movie and I enjoyed it and I don't say that for everyone who's on the show yeah I usually pretend I haven't seen it we've all or we've heard the episodes where you have laid into people like how dare you waste my time exactly yeah there was one where a publicist made sure that I watched it yeah cuz they feel it felt like they were angry to ask me how I

liked it yeah exactly but I've never been asked that by you like you're the publicist for this film was very nice he sent it to me didn't ask me what I thought yeah you know but I love my dad is out this Friday make plans to go out and see we need to get to our next gas pattern oh my yakin they're a scientist whoa yeah I don't know what type you get the guests you get for this show it's gonna come in here you bring in people well it used to be the show where we talked to interesting people yeah and then I decided that was too limiting so then it became America's podcast oh then that's too no that's so then it's

now it's humanity's podcast oh but then even that's to it so now it's humanity and the animal kingdoms podcast that's amazing so that's the tagline of the show well it shows you how popular that podcast is the kind of people you can get to yeah these are people that don't say yes to anything oh I know and here they are about the show is like we have you know a big-time scientist yes and we have like a goofball actor like yourself who barely works I'm sure what anyway here we go let's bring them on the show they're a scientist and they've never been on the show before so I'm excited to talk to them about their

particular field of study please welcome Ellen Norton Simon Harris Finley Finister hello thank you thanks for having me yeah great to be here long name the Ellen is your first name that's my first name yeah and then you have two hyphen names Norton Simon and Harris Finley yeah so Harris Finley is my last name okay is it one word Harris Finley it's hyphenated oh that's hi so my mom's maiden name is Harris and my dad's name oh I see that's your name exactly and then you married I married a Finister okay Norton Simon my middle name is was taken that was my grandmother's maiden married name maiden and married name so

yeah okay so she was Simon name Norton that's right I see okay so of Simon Norton publishing Norton Simon museum oh okay sorry but is it the same no I get is it from the Norton Simon yeah oh my god I was that was true that's their collection I've been to that museum you have what do you think court I mean it was I really I like to be honest I like the stuff they were displaying more than the actual museum you know like the art on the walls the walls were fine no that's fine feedback I'll let them know let them know they're welcome to the show it's great to have you yeah can I should I call you Ellen or should I do

you want me to address for the whole name you could do a combo an acronym or a or just or an inch foof but that's it inch foof inch foof welcome to this show this is Padnaz Walt he's an actor hi it's way out of my zone way out of my zone you've never acted before I well sometimes teaching is like acting and what I try to do is get kids excited about the science and the universe is that what you do as an actor you try to get kids excited about science in the universe no I don't see what you're saying here well I try to get my producer excited about paying me with my acting that that's my main focus how long does

it take to collect checks on something like this now I've worked jobs were literally a year later you'll be bugging them going like can I ever get paid for the job or do they give you a check like your last day and when they go that's a wrap on that they give you like a big giant novelty check oh no that that would be so awkward no I usually see is what you get paid like these are yeah that no I would never have that happen um no usually you get paid like a week after I don't really want to keep it yet it's it's a it's a it's a vulgar display of power those giant checks brought out get one of those movie star jobs you really

they're great yeah they're really good anyway Ellen science yes science so I realized you know I have a PhD in astrophysics and blah blah blah I realize that and I woke up one day and I said Ellen you have this you gotta do something with it yes and you know all the practical applications of a degree like that are just so dry and so boring and they have no effect on the environment and on the population and I thought how can I actually make a difference and the difference is to get kids excited about science okay so that's what you do you're a teacher you you're a scientist and a teacher I go to schools and I try to get

kids jazzed about what science I see so you go to different schools you're not like a teacher who goes to one school and the kids come to you no you go to them I'm a new I'm the new model so yes I'm a teacher they're doing now they're going to they're trying to hit there it's like going on tour many of them are yes yep it seems inefficient and not economical you know we're trying it words we're still crunching the numbers just seems like scientists would have crunched those numbers yeah to it actually going in different scientists you know and it's one of those scientists not a mathematician exactly different

departments very sequestered so you're going to these kids yeah and I you know I take some of these concepts are so abstract you know what what is your field of study yeah astrophysics astrophysics you know I'm sure you've heard some of these facts what's an astro stand for is that astronomy it's it stands for astrology astron astron physics yes but we dropped a lot of time yes exactly and you know you hear some of these facts you know there's there's between 100 and 400 billion stars in the galaxy okay well that's so extract 100 billion stars 100 and 400 billion stars can they how I mean it sounds like a

lot but how are they determining like that range between a hundred million and 400 specific you know they would know the exact number no we know that it's definitely not less than a hundred billion oh for sure we know that you've counted that many sophisticated we've gotten that far okay and that's when we start to wrap around and we go have you counted that one oh that's okay you know and it takes a while to remark them and so each time you've done a count it's been it's been no less than a hundred billion no less and occasionally you've gotten all the way up to 400 million yes I feel like we've counted no more many

right gone back and counted usually because it takes us so long to count you know we'll say like okay you start from the left I'll start from there and then we wrap up and then it's hard to know exactly where the seam is usually like I would do like you know Ursula major something like that like that's the right yeah and sometimes Ursa major too what we start with one of the majors maybe I'm confusing a little mermaid yeah but it is a constellation we have to agree she was a major role in that film is that right huge like at least third build well some might say she's the origin story of the film because without

her you don't have conflict exactly I digress so a hundred billion stars even the low number it's just mind-boggling how do you wrap your head around that I try to make the accessible to kids how do you get kids excited about those huge numbers exactly so I try to make it relatable and I use something that they can understand so I say like something like for that I'll say like visualize a pizza okay so we can all see like a normal pizza like a Pizza Hut Domino's perfect yeah okay I got one in my mind right now I'm looking at one perfect all right now imagine taking that pizza and you cut it into your normal eight

slices and now you cut each of those slices into eight slices okay and you keep doing that and you do that you make those amount of cuts once per second for 400 years okay okay and now you take all of those little pieces of pizza and then you you clone them oh and you do that six to the eighth power times okay okay and now you double it double that's the amount that's the amount of stars the low amount of stars oh that's the law and kids follow this absolutely kids love pizza I guess but they can imagine doing this to a pizza cuz I like the minute you got to cut one of your eight slices into yeah that's why I started to

kind of lose it a little bit so let's think of it another way let's take the pepperonis on top did you have pepperonis on your pizza that you love it yeah yeah I actually did yeah okay so if you take one of those pepperonis and you zoom in on it okay imagine all of the atoms in that pepperoni okay okay and now you imagine the building blocks of those atoms the protons the neutrons the and then you zoom into the subatomic part of the quarks the quoting those together okay so you take all the quarks okay in that pepperoni yeah and you throw them into the hadron collider oh okay okay into a refractive prism oh

oh refractive okay so they bend into into theoretical component part and you lay them in ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten and now you've gotten to almost right the low end of what the stars might how old are the kids that you're saying I do six to nine years old first you say why do you cut off at nine the once they're ten they start heckling double digits oh yeah too much confidence yeah so it's in my rider that I just don't put on the right yeah of course like a tour writer yeah yeah but the six-year-olds are there they follow every cuz again this is a little too much drifted a little bit you drifted

wait once I'm gonna say once that's why I act about refractive proof it just didn't yeah it got very esoteric well even the quirks yeah yeah I tapped out using too many terms well it's almost like you're you're doing real science yeah yeah gotcha you you would prefer what's something what's a topic that you that you feel really comfortable with um I mean a lot of times all when I gather around with friends I'm like what who has better pizza like New York or Chicago so we were right with pizza pizza work yeah how about this a lot of times when I get with my friends will go like hey what are your what are your five

favorite Beatles songs yeah okay yeah this is good yeah yeah man that would be so hard this is perfect okay if you took the potential energy uh-huh contained within Paul McCartney's left hand his left okay the one that he plays with yeah that's right this is okay now I like this okay okay if you took the the potential energy in that hand and multiplied it by the amount of bees on the planet you would have one to the negative nth power amount of the low end of the stars I lost you I did well yeah I had a weird that was a zig there from here's Paul McCartney left head bees yeah I'm not that interested in bees I

like if I see a bee I usually try to run away from it or right right I mean honestly I try to kill let's think of okay I didn't want to sound like I was a demurder but when my daughter was six years old you know what she loved what to the paw patrol great that's a thing six-year-olds love the paw patrol the little dogs each have little assignments a little vehicles kids look well this guy does the cleanup this guy's the fire guy this guy's the helicopter a yes they do different vehicles perfect okay so so the phone rings paw patrol here we go that's right a new case here we go we go they get a call help help we need

your help we can't figure out how to conceptualize how many stars a hundred billion stars is okay so the the one the gruff guy he jumps in a helicopter and the other one's like okay I'll get in my car and then one's like oh I'll take the firetruck right yeah there's a fire like I'll get on my rollerblades and another one's like okay I'll pull you in a wagon and one's like you know I'll just start walking and so if you imagine the amount of types of transportation that they could potentially take on the show there's five but okay okay we'll start with five yeah there's five let's take five all right okay now if you doubled

that every day okay so it's growing exponentially so five to ten to twenty to forty eight okay yeah perfect yeah so in three point six million years yeah we would have just about the low end of the amount of stars I don't think that math is actually right yeah I actually think about it because yeah if you're doubling everything it would take you three point six million year I mean maybe it's right yeah okay so five boy and then ten this isn't in 20 okay it's got in 40 yeah do that three point six million time I'm doing it okay you said to check it well 160 320 640 1280 25 athletic greens is a wonderful product

okay I'm at ten I'm at day 10 I'm already at 2500 now you see the power of compound interest too which is something that is like a good side lesson yeah look but again the kids are they because they're like yay the Paw Patrol are all excited yeah I don't imagine them doing all this lame bullshit oh I want to imagine the Paw Patrol out there like beating up protesters and you know like no they don't really do that on the show they're not well they do they're out there patrolling and like cracking down on criminals right there are friends they keep our streets safe and they help the community from the unhoused

individuals who are plaguing the some sometimes those people are causing some problems and maybe they have a new Paw Patrol there's a new Paw Patrol member who is a garbage truck that comes and cleans up a lot of the tent cities to make the city Paulopoulos safe from Paulopoulos I'm assuming that's where they all live hmm okay yeah but in any case look Ellen Norton Simon Harris Finley Finister I I don't I mean look you're talking about pizza you're talking about Paw Patrol I want to hear about them doing cool shit like yeah like okay for instance like if you were to say a billion things like you'd go like oh okay

well it's like people holding hands you know all the way around the earth yeah you know or like it would take it would you know stuff like that people can grasp on to did you know yeah that in the amount of people it would take to hold hands to go around the earth yeah is equivalent oh here we go to the amount of DNA component parts of the of one tongue of a blue whale so it's so so you would have to unravel the DNA of yeah sell this again mind-blowing no I can't even grasp these concepts I don't get too many mixed metaphors is this kind of thing where the teachers teach the class and then you pop in by a

surprise I often it's cold-caused so I do show up you gotta get the Glen Gary leads wait a second the schools don't even know you're coming till the day of you call them that morning no but I have a hundred percent success rate because usually when I show up in what way well teachers are relieved to see oh yeah teacher they love having me there they often I've seen them jump in my van and drive away they'll take a break they'll go and I don't mind you give them access to the van yeah I will you come in the clock you throw them your keys and go I got this it doesn't it how often do they catch the keys first of all and how often do

they go sailing past there that is a 10% success okay I can only imagine if you're not expecting yeah it's hard yeah and the ones that have caught it I am amazed because I overhand throw and I do oh yeah oh but you're gonna wind up yeah yeah just visual wind up why not usually it gets the kids attention yeah and so are you good at this wow I because at this point I can't tell because I I mean I'm not much of a scientist but you know if you were just to say like oh you want to know how many stars there are in the sky a billion I would go oh that's a lot like that's enough that's all we need more than that Scott it's a hundred to

400 times a billion pizzas a hundred times that and potentially 400 do you know what that implies do you realize all right think of how many cells it there are in cells finger patrol is locked up people oh think of how many cells there are in a single finger I don't know I don't care I don't know but do you think it's more or less than the amount of tennis courts there are in Annapolis Maryland in it what why an apple or let I don't know because I figured it out and exactly the same it's not more or less it's the exact no no wait wait wait in a fingerprint there are as many tennis court in Annapolis now we don't believe

you sorry that's impossible this is something I've definitely looked up did you go there I don't have to go there to come up yeah I googled it like speaking of which do you know how big a Googleplex is yeah you do yeah it's like a hundred million times a hundred million do you know how to conceptualize it do you know how many ping-pong balls I feel like you're gonna tell ping-pong balls ping-pong balls in where collapsed at flattened and fit inside Jupiter's moons okay not all of them eight of them come on come on we can't wrap our minds or uncollapsed two of them depends which to you can only fit two

ping-pong balls inside Jupiter's moon she's oh to moon so wait so so what you're trying to say is a collapsed ping-pong ball takes up approximately a quarter of the size in the mass of an uncollapsed ping-pong well not because two to two to snow no if the moons were the exact same size that would be someone I got something you were trying to say I'm so lost so by the way how do the kids seem at the end of your presentation what are they doing so fascinated they often have this look like just they're like like miles a gape sometimes there's jewel coming well the but but eyes open are the eyes

open are they wearing are they wearing glasses these are novelty glasses with open eyes I had these when I was a kid to trick my teacher you did yes these days but but but but do we know okay how can we prove scientifically that behind the glasses here oh straws oh no they're not popular I don't know why you're using them as an example there's two different types of straws I don't know what we're talking about paper or drinking straws okay what did you talking about straw like dried hey imagine a haystack imagine that there's a haystack you haven't no okay it has no bearing on my life have you seen a

single piece of hay yes I went I was in Oklahoma and someone had one as a prop they use they were chewing on it as they entered the stage great let's start and then it got in their way and they had to take it out the only time I've ever seen a piece a single piece of hay if I stay if I hang out at the Greyhound station here in Hollywood I see the young hopefuls getting off oh yeah you're always yeah and you see the young and they're one of Daisy Dukes and you lure them into your living and yeah and then we go make a quick movie together yeah so that's relatable to you so imagine one of those young hopefuls has a piece

of straw long enough to extend all the way and and to lasso the moon now why would they have that no Scott this is kind of classic though like the long piece of straw the lassos the moon yes okay I can wrap my mind around I can't so how many times around the world's oceans only the surface area of the oceans do you think that that piece of straw could zigzag I don't give a shit I don't give two shits I give zero shits it's the same amount as the if you ground up all the shells on the beaches of Hawaii and and put the grains end to end I don't I can leave no no no no it's not I wouldn't validate my parking

anyway so I'm racking up a bill here I I feel like this I feel like we were not gracious enough is I mean the pattern I've deputized you are there well are there any can we are there any schools you're planning to appear that we can maybe plug and give or you don't even know till the day I don't know I I start driving and which direction usually always west so I'm almost done with my career hit Santa Monica oh my yeah what you yeah what happens when you hit Santa Monica well I haven't figured that out yet but my guess is that try to take up a sensible job do something like yeah what else I mean I guess could you do

acting or producing which means pretty lucrative honestly you get paid like a week after you do the thing it was a little passive aggressive it's I mean and look I'm in look pattern here he's good at it just I don't even know what being passive aggressive okay well look look I'm sorry I don't mean to give you a crisis of conscience here regarding your job I you're probably good at this I I feel bad I feel like we've mistreated you let's do one more all right one more than we have to take a break all right did you know that the Sun has a mass of around 330,000 times that of earth okay okay so it's like 330,000 earths conceptualized

right no I'm doing it right now it's a lot 330,000 but the mass of it right so in order to achieve that okay you would have to take all the jelly out of all the doughnuts on the planet and you would have to condense it the jelly of the doughnuts the just the jelly jelly you would have to squeeze it together compress it say in a black hole until it reaches just the size of the tip of an foot okay okay and then take that little piece of super condensed material to Jupiter which has a multiplicity of the gravity on earth yeah okay okay and now multiply it yeah times the amount of atoms in all the hairs on one fourth of

the population of no bows on earth but no bows yes all the hairs of one fourth of all the one fourth one fourth of all the hairs combined of the bonobos that's right okay and get there both ways this but it's okay yeah okay yeah and then there's another step okay chop it up we chop up the hair of the jelly now all of it we're putting it in a blender okay all right and now we're putting that blender in a blender and now we're putting that blender in a blender or they're exponentially bigger blenders same size that'll be easier to understand I don't know if that's possible yeah and now we're putting a size blender all of that

mass and material on a scale okay and weighing it is the same that's the same it's the same of what the Sun or the Earth 330 times of the earth which is one sign okay I got you I'm giving you applause just so you'll end this one you over yeah okay wow all right well Ellen Norton Simon Harris Finley Finster impressive stuff I mean you know your stuff at least it's such a pleasure I could see you light up at the end there really did I could see the light at the end of the tunnel I like I've never wanted to hear a commercial more yes yes well then I did my job thank you you're sent by the advertising the mattress

companies okay look we have to take a break can you stick around though because I would love to get your input on some yes I have nowhere else to go until I raise the money to pay for my Kickstarter show here so yeah all right and Pat and you can stick around I hope of course sure all right well when we come back we have a member of the community and come musician as well what show I'm excited we're gonna be right back with more Pat Noswald more Ellen Norton Simon Harris Finley Finster will be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we're back Pat Noswald I love my dad is

in theaters this Friday and then on Hulu exclusive to Hulu after that I believe so yes August 12th August 12 I'm pretty sure don't quote me on that I should be more on top of my career what a quote though if people were to quote you on that yeah that would be on your tombstone very bold wait hang on on my tombstone would be on Hulu August 12th don't quote me on don't quote me on this incredible great movie people should check it out also we have Ellen Norton Simon Harris Finley Finsters here and she's a scientist who apparently is too wrapped up in writing on the table to get over to the mic to say yes I am here

okay there she is writing out my for you oh thank you we have a Kickstarter going for to get her out of the parking lot here unfortunately yeah they do not validate we refused about I mean we could yeah we refuse yeah yeah all right well let's get to our next guest he's a member of the community hopefully this one I don't know Pat and you live in the area don't you kind of yeah I mean I'm assuming he's also part of the community let's yeah let's find out let's talk to him this is Dean Hormel hello Dean hello Scott hi Dean Hormel Dean Hormel Pat and you got that straight and I'm a member of the community specifically your

community Scott oh wonderful this is Ellen she she does not live here she's passing through did you start in in in Maine in America's erect penis or did you start in Florida America's droopy dick you would think that those are the furthest eastern the easternmost point of the United States did you know that the easternmost point is actually in Alaska in the last three Aleutian islands they cross over to the eastern hemisphere so I actually started there I'm so sorry that went through the easternmost provinces of Russia and down through Russia yeah oh yeah wow I don't need to they didn't detain you at all because it's very dangerous

my my van is very fast and you outran them I don't know one of these teachers are borrowing the van when I'm driving on permafrost it slides it's easy talk give you that van or how did you know they just appear and then throw it they threw you the keys they threw you the keys I was in the front row of the recycler tour in 1990 and I won the van accidentally I didn't know they weren't giving it to me and I drove it away recycler tour though I don't know pretty late period yeah to be a fan but bag was such a good song and I sleeping bag okay I liked it Dean welcome what do you have

to talk about here you're a member of the community that's great so you live in Los Angeles three doors down from your house you do I do Scott I do my friend and I just moved in recently and we are loving the neighborhood welcome to the neighbor I mean it's so coincidental because I'm usually blasting three doors down and trust me we hear it we love it you love it okay great yeah frankly you are our Superman thank you so much that's so cool well please don't say the address but welcome to the neighborhood I need people banging down my door all right not too worried about that as much as I am my

own okay all right yeah welcome that's so interesting what made you move to the neighborhood Scott I have I am like Patton in the entertainment industry oh you are oh welcome I do animatronic repair animatronic repair mm-hmm is that animatronics that's like the the people at Disneyland like you got it Scott oh got it hmm oh my god I'd almost have to say you're in the entertainment industry I mean I did work at Disneyland growing up so I was once molested was that how was it oh I thought what you were saying was funny so I was happy you laugh oh yeah sorry sorry I don't mean to I just do it I don't

mean to shut down the woman in the room that I cannot think of a more awkward thing to have to shut down to follow up on that but that that laugh was that was something else yeah gee you laugh again and we'll get to your question in a second I I only laugh when something's really oh wait a minute okay okay so if there is a comedian in the room I believe me I'll be all one at least well okay all right I'm off duty right now let's just let it happen naturally there we go there we go okay but I want to get to Ellen's question because we showed it absolutely when I heard that you it's unique it's a you've you've heard that

before it's a unique laugh I have heard that before and I appreciate that Scott thank you well maybe you'll laugh at what I'm okay yeah what were you gonna say I was once molested by a Chuck E. Cheese character yikes and animatronic in the band the answer the animatronic molested you yeah and I'm wondering if that's something you could reprogram the incident of 2004 you know about it oh we all know about it it is historic it was how did this happen I mean they did it wasn't acting on its own was there were you just standing those things program place that and it just well that's what the police said and it's just programmed

to do it's normal like playing in the band I kind of rhythm I would argue it's not normal for someone to be touched on their breasts but they all said I was standing too close and I shouldn't have climbed on the stage and were you saying to your family and friends look I'm a guitar what exactly were you I'm sorry that I got me Scott that got me it's horrible that I'm sorry I hate to detour off your story but that laugh again is worse wow and I hate pointing out people's laughs because I don't want to take joy and I don't want to make you feel so I don't want you to overthink it I only be self-conscious but it's like

the worst thing you say to someone is you have an ugly smile right they feel so conscious every time yeah no I like it I love my laugh I love your smile though is not that great yeah when you were a little tight yeah yeah it's a little tight it's like your teeth are kind of fucked up yeah and and if I can just say you're you're laughing without smiling which is unnerving which I which I rare I've seen it a couple times and it's never fun to look at yeah I guess I'm trying to even things out a little bit I realized that my laugh kind of overpowers things so I think I try to bring it overpowering because

it's like you're throwing away yeah what I found unsettling is that you point yeah one of us every time you laugh and it wasn't the person who said the thing yeah that was I didn't want to bring that up it was almost like you're saying you need to pay more attention to that funny thing I want to make sure that you're focusing on this I also want to make sure everybody's involved I guess I've just like I want everybody to enjoy what was said and what was funny all right well we're enjoying now I'm so sorry I was just wondering if that's was there a settlement or yeah because were you working on the Chuck E cheese

animatronics I assume you work on all animatronics you go where they're paying a lot of them out there in the world oh my lord now as many as there should be let me tell you what because they bring a lot of joy to the kids and there's been a lot less since that incident let me tell you that right how many do you think there should be as many as there are people I guess an equal amount Ellen I guess I would have to when you were talking about the collapsed ping-pong balls I guess I would that's that's the number I'm thinking like around that number I would love it there are that many I mean to fill up six of

or yes six of Saturn's moons I mean or Jupiter's moon two of Jupiter's but I you know he said collapsed oh okay then then eight of Jupiter's yeah I mean wouldn't that be something wouldn't that be something that many on earth yeah okay well earth is smaller than that we couldn't live well then maybe we could put them on some different planets because they don't need oxygen to operate so maybe how would we enjoy them well we just know that they're out there you know what I mean that's a good point yeah and they just they just unveiled that new crazy big telescope we could point that yeah at these planets for like

for a for a child's birthday you pay to have that telescope pointed at that planet and then the animatronics could sing a song am I related to the child or why am I paying for this child no I'm saying if the child's parents wanted to and then for that I can't I'm not out there paying for like I never say you're getting really defensive I never said you would pay for anyone's birthday I just I don't have a lot of disposable income at this which is why you wouldn't be paying for it be the parents will be doing it okay pointing a telescope at a baron not legally mandated to pay for someone's birthday party I can listen

when I was a little kid I would have loved to have had a tell to be able to fucking telescope and an airless world full of dead-eyed animatronics singing to me and that never happened because this world was too difficult and this this world had you know oxygen and oh we got to run around and in the sun and I would you know I would just like an airless world with things singing at me and this guy is like yeah taking a step toward that and you're like in the pan for it hey you're every yeah whatever you know why are you laughing I'm sorry that imitation was spot-on he was having a breakdown I know but he was spot-on

imitation of you that you know I'm not just probably right out of my anger that's right I did kind of nail it thank you it was a good imitation and I'm sorry I don't mean to treat you that way I apologize thank you all right thank you are we still still bros what are you kidding bros forever man hey bro hug here oh god that hurt well I ran I had to run at you god damn it all right um anyway Dean Scott yeah I want to come on show today we're here yeah yeah congrats thank you yeah on the one about it you're here yeah I'm here I'm ready to invite you and the rest of you oh to my house we are having Scott I've noticed

in my short time in the neighborhood there is a dearth of dearth dearth yeah dearth I was gonna say Darth but I don't know no no no that's that's Vader that's the title of the Sith Lord ah yeah small Darth Vader yes all the darts we originally were hoping that he would be animatronic but they ended up going with a real person which is also fun but it's gotta hurt yeah David Prouse got the job instead of yeah yes too bad he did too bad we used we used Lincoln from Disneyland we use Lincoln we put him in a Darth Vader outfit just to show what could be done did the beard get in the way because oh was it peeking out the

but yeah they're like we're going with a real person no beard I could imagine though Darth Vader with that tall stove pipe hat would be more intimidating yes as an extra two feet of height yeah we could have used you in the room that day let me tell you what is the stove top is the stove pipe hat on top of the Darth Vader mask or is the hat on and then the mask is on the mask was it yeah yeah exactly yeah Scott anyway what was there a dirt though yeah what is our dirt though you're laughing at yourself I just a little brevity of the situation yeah I want to say there's a dearth of black parties in the

neighborhood and I think we got to bring them back okay okay black parties meaning like everyone in the area we shut off the street we park a couple of cars at each end we put some signs up to say hey there's no drive through today allowed to do that well you go out what when the whole neighborhood decides on it you better believe it decides it yes you have to go to the city for this I've always wondered about this you go to the city for it or you just hate as David Lee Roth once said you can you you ask what is it okay get all again I really want you to come through yeah I'm really intrigued I can think of about ten David

Lee Roth like none of them they're all very my legs pull this yeah really yeah I mean those are the big ones right the one I was thinking of was where he says break coming up yeah this is his autobiography crazy from the heat oh okay yeah if you haven't read it read it I'll tell you what changed your life and he said now I can't it's ask for ask for forgiveness later pop do it now ask for forgiveness it's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to permission ask for permission yes you read the book I mean a lot of people yeah okay that's a saying oh that's a saying yeah yeah he did a big say he started saying

that is unbelievable no okay but anyway my god you should come to the block we should get a block party going I'm inviting you to the block party okay and the rest of you live in the neighborhood okay and why do you want to do this I mean this sounds fun yeah sure let's do it why I mean why though Scott I'll tell you what I am at these different amusement parks and I'm working on these animatronics and I love them to death let me tell you what I love them but they're just they don't talk you know it's a lot of quiet moments which is me and the animatronics and I just think man it would be nice because sometimes I feel

like my neighbors are like animatronics I don't know them they're not we're not talking we're not getting close and I would like just one repetitive movements all the time hey wouldn't you like wouldn't you like the neighborhood to be one big parts of the Caribbean situation I guess maybe as I mean Johnny Depp hopefully is not coming by is that or any of his fans no no I mean let's say the neighborhood then I guess we're forced to leave the neighborhood yeah yeah especially they're gonna bring a dish to pass they gotta come yeah they're not then I wouldn't that be something wouldn't that be something so you don't

have a lot of friends so Brenda and I we we have plenty friends who's this Brenda my wife oh you're why you meet Brenda yeah where'd you meet Brenda well we met in Atlanta Georgia from and we moved here to West Coast some call the best coast Mary to Southern Bell Mary Southern Bell you go in fact was a Southern Bell voted Southern Bell at our high school she was voted Southern Bell Southern Bell every year we have a Southern Bell the year of the year oh wow that's even better yeah some people at home northern Bell you are northern bell congrats thank you in the illusion islands oh gosh I wish wish I was from

there not quite that north Ypsilanti Michigan oh yeah we were just over the line yeah just over that really there's a like there's like a northern there's like a second like the Mason Dixon line okay got it yeah further north it's like the west of the Mississippi it's called Hellman's all that kind of yeah really I don't know um East of Mississippi I guess I should say so you what does she do for a living by the way she assists me in the animatronics she's a waiting in the she's waiting in the hall right now so I saw my invite her in or I love to invite her in she is a fan Scott not only of the podcast she's also a fan of

your garage door she thinks it looks good and we might do our same garage I hope that's not oh no it's okay I mean some uniformity in the neighborhood oh yes actually yes absolutely she like about it because I I mean it's pretty much just a standard garage door I think she lacks what she lacks she knows that you are in the podcast entertainment world but you are so modest in your decor and the way that you've designed your home got modest she goes a plane we lack the plainness of it all right you know we like just you know I don't take a knife I don't want to invite her in okay all right well okay I know you waved her in

already yeah I could hear the clomping yeah where are those orthopedic shoes orthopedic shoes orthopedic shoes and oh but also they are elevator shoes oh elevator shoes then she lacks what are elevator shoes they make you a little taller oh yeah they're lifts they're lifts are you from Britain you call elevators lifts and you call lifts elevator shoes I see why you got this gig yeah see why I got this gig around the neighborhood I don't hear Pete from you you are quiet you are quiet I think this guy is on assuming whenever I see you walk to and fro what's Scott like as a neighbor yeah what he's not blasted

three doors down which he does do from time to time but otherwise he like you think he he I don't use the word creep but oh he creeps a creep he's not a creep but he creeps what do you mean like creeps around the neighborhood or yeah I move mm-hmm oh like a shadow oh okay I find it impressive sort of like like arms up and tiptoeing like behind someone trying to imitate their movements while wearing dark clothes like a shadow or from time to time you do yeah that is what I do yes yes like the illustration on the neighborhood watch sign oh yeah with a little with a fedora yeah that's sort of a hamburger yeah I try to have like a hamburger aesthetic yeah to my whole

thing working now you're speaking my language because I also think that once we get this block party going we can get into a neighborhood watch and I would love to walk the neighborhood with you oh I like to creep around with you a little bit make sure everything on the up and up just because I'm creeping you're right I shouldn't I you know you seem like a cool guy Dean Hormel I look down at my but you know I'm not really I mean look I know it sounds like you don't have a lot of friends I'm not really in the market for a ton of more friends I'm not a ton more people just one yeah well then you bring your wife into it and then you know it's like I can't even imagine and then you double that and then you double that and and then and then there's

four people that was very good thank you so much oh my gosh that's right wow you I so so Scott you learned something from her I guess I did yeah if you double if you double one twice I just like to say it's four and did you know that the amount of brain cells that it took for you to do that calculation it was a big number I think well can you imagine the amount of grains of sugar on every gumdrop in North America in North America just North America does it is so Canada yep US and Mexico okay yes all right okay yeah that that is almost equal to the amount of brain cells that it took for you to do that okay that's a lot that's a lot that's actually yeah okay sounds like I got myself a friend that's going to walk around the neighborhood make sure we are safe and

also bring a potato salad to this black part of we got going on okay now there's two things that you've put me down for that I'm really not interested in doing hey if you're gonna bring a pot salad that's okay I mean I'm bringing a potato salad but if you could always use more why do you want me to bring a potato salad as well then you don't make a good potato salad I'm sure I might if I tried but that's right I want to see that potential really great at it there we go that's okay I'm gonna bring a potato salad all right I'm not gonna creep around the neighborhood with you though what I want to do that I look I don't want any more friends and yet to be honest like you seem I mean uh you know you seem like kind of like a loser with your

terrible smile and your awful laugh I don't want to hear that laugh anymore Scott I don't even know how you could afford to move into the neighborhood quite honestly it you know unless you're like the son of Elon Musk the one of the sons of Elon Musk or something you know I mean like how he is an electronics expert he's in demand yeah yes but it's not computers it's not like you invested in apple right I mean like you're okay maybe these animatronics aren't the most sophisticated or up-to-date computer did you you moved into the place that's about to be torn down yeah yeah three doors okay yeah see you're just kind of like you're not my it's like you're not my type of vibe you know what I mean like I like hanging out with like rich people like Patton over here

you know like we're buddies you know he's a big movie star like you know like we hang out different never mind go ahead you know I mean like you're like a loser with a bad smile and a terrible job and a wife who's like hanging out in the hallway it's like you know the whole thing is just not gelling with me okay um Scott looks like he's gonna cry I don't want to hear this guy cry yeah what's his crying no I don't that's not why I said that I don't want to as if to say I'm the one crying well yeah make sure it's clear in case you were thinking someone else was crying oh look I got yeah oh it's gotta apologize that was so crappy what you did I I mean I apologize but go to his block party I'm gonna I'm accepting on your behalf he would be he would love you

are you gonna go because he invited you I'm gonna be out of town yeah I gotta tour no no I know you're around I'm touring this month this this wasn't till September right this is this September yeah you go September what oh no no no dates start with luh no it's September 11th oh oh yeah we figure that's when most people are gonna be free so um doing what huh doing what free free yeah just it's like we remember we don't take the day off you don't maybe we should I do I call in every year you call in I call in every year they know it and I pay my respects all right call into who you mean call in sick to work or you call in somewhere to pay your respect I go to uh I I go to one of the whatever ride I'm working on that day then I we go to it

we go to it and then me and all the animatronics I shut them all down you take the animatronics with you I take well watch I'm at the animatronics I'm at the ride it's all a president maybe it makes sense but no it's normally if I'm at like snow white or uh sometimes if there's like uh also wonderland I shut them all down we're quiet for a little bit I don't care if people are on the ride or not and then we then I run I rev it back up everyone celebrates we're good to go speak of animatronics there's gonna be mr toad and mr toad's wild ride animatronics I'm bringing him to the block party so if you want to see them outside of their element all right okay this sounds okay I welcome to the neighborhood yes there you go fix up your place you know I will

when I get the collateral the fact you can't even pay for it you need collateral Scott I just moved here from Atlanta we are in a different price tier out here on the west coast I don't know I don't like having neighbors like you but all right well welcome to the show we need to take a break if that's okay fine by me your show you gotta run it by me look you say no I won't fix an animatronics all right you say no I'm not gonna take a break I'm an animatronic engineer I ain't a sound engineer okay but do you want me to take a break or do you know I would love to take a break okay I have not passive aggressively either like do you really want to take a break because I want to take a break because I got it I want to I got a joke to you and it's gotta be off air why is it

okay racist no okay I don't it's untested material and I'll take his word for us do it off the air look we have to take a break when we come back we're gonna have a musician that's very exciting we'll be right back with more Pat Nozwald more Ellen Norton Simon Harris Finley Fenster more Dean Hormel we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we're back here Pat Nozwald is here of uh I love my dad uh he is uh acting up a storm uh right now right now acting like he's I'm doing pantomime if you oh if you saw the stuff I was doing you like get that guy out of that box he's suffocating did you did you work on things like the immortal bard and stuff like that in order to prepare your acting work for this movie

the immortal bard uh no I read the script that the guy sent me and then ask him about his dad and just try to focus on that oh all right yeah interesting uh we also have a sort of spoil the magic Scott you're like oh interesting I would have taken it a little more seriously all right we also have Ellen Norton Simon Harris Finley Finster an astrophysicist yeah astron physicist yeah uh also we have uh Dean Hormel and he told us a joke during the break and I didn't I didn't really appreciate it that was I gotta say really I've never made so many phone calls after a joke yeah yeah hey better to ask for forgiveness and okay David Lee Roth uh well let's bring on our next guest uh speaking of David David Lee Roth uh our next guest is a musician so that's very exciting

for uh people who enjoy listening to those wonderful notes doh through doh uh let's try to loops around loops back around to doh uh let's welcome him right now he's a musician Johnny Scott hello hello hello everyone oh should I say thank you so much thank you is is that what you do for a living is that part of your music or is that like do you have some sort of uh uh affliction where you just you do that no no no my only affliction is my addiction to music uh I love music so I do stat music a music that you know you don't see much around anymore uh Kim Katrall does it Kim Katrall yeah Kim Katrall does it she does really I don't know have you not seen scats yeah have you not seen those videos

from no no oh actually uh with all due respect as a scatter Katrall it's it she's doing more of what we call a putter but I'm doing a scat which is um here's the issue I have we have to applaud every time thank you so no no no then you'll be applauding all day oh that's he's right he's right these days when you bring up the the term scat unfortunately people aren't thinking about music thinking about this very naughty gross thing shit yeah there's apparently people out there and I'm not shaming them because hey I got I like you know I like cherries that look like nipples so who am I to what cherries that look like nipples you like you like to eat them or do you mean the opposite you like nipples that look like cherries no that's disgusting I like cherries that

look a little bit like my own nipples so that's what I'm saying I throw nipples yeah which is weird to get cherries like that can I see your nipples you see they're very sharp yeah and they look nothing like cherries no that's why I've never found a cherry that looks like my nipples but hey how do you know you like them though you say you like to eat them or you just like to see that they exist I just want to see that they exist maybe give it a draw them do I draw them when I was well when I was a little kid I would doodle and like one of the main things I would doodle other than that weird looking s that all kids would draw yeah uh was just like what weird hold on there's one right there on the table yeah looking s it's like a weird looking s that like we call that a two

where is this lightning ball oh that's a true that's a what are you looking at patent there I saw it earlier but what s are you talking about it looks like like the kiss it's like no it's like an s that we all in in when we're kids would sort of doodle oh the one that looks like an eight or whatever yes yes because it's oh god I gotta boxy right there gotta gotta gotta there we go there we go that's what I'm talking about okay but so you would doodle that and I would doodle that yeah and then you doodle your own nipples I would do it well now the kind of weird what I would do is I would doodle a cherry that looks like my nipple oh that's not okay but the reason I brought that up was not to talk about my extremely sharp nipples it was to say that I don't judge anybody for weird behavior

what I'm hearing about scatting these days it's not bad at that not at that not what it is is a bunch of people getting together and getting turned on get this now by the smell and texture of what poo poo or as I like to call it dookie oh so two of the senses the smell yes the texture what about the sight of it are people repulsed by that I don't know I think these people are just getting horny off just whatever all five of the senses what let's let's get the they're touching it touching it they're smelling it they're seeing it they're seeing it they're listening to it I guess you can hear like a yeah exactly and if you squish it in your hand it makes its own noise and then what's the other one there's a I know there's a fifth one oh taste all the worst one you know

I did a concert in Colorado congrats thank you so much I did it for free in fact I pay to get there oh um but when I went there and it was into congrats huh well I'm not sure if that's possible no yeah okay sorry but let me tell you what happened so I hear them like I got invited to this scatathon I was like oh my god here I could you know show people what I can like a marathon of scatting yes I get on stage well guess what as soon as I go somebody else show us the poop and then I won't know you were at the wrong wrong place because people don't care about scat music and the more they care about scat finish which was so disappointing and this was something that you had paid to go to thousands of dollars and let me say I'm not doing well scat music doesn't pay well

the other day guess what I had for lunch uh shit no no that's ridiculous scott no what I had was I had an open condom and you know I'm sorry what an open condom so if you go to pharmacies oftentimes the condoms that are open they throw away in the back well I went yes all pharmacies have a whole box in the back where there's so many open condoms they asked Trojan asked the the the condom companies I think if I could get it on the phone I would yeah you got that problem too scott oh my god I make these bigger oh I say make them more digestible I can't I have the worst stomach problems from eating these loose condoms but here's a stop doing it then scott do you have money you can give me no no but let me back up why are you spending thousands to get to

colorado what are your costs what's your overhead uh a flight okay uh room and board sure one night uh one night two nights it was two nights two nights two nights okay at uh a place called uh riverdale hostel it was about hostel we're talking we're talking all in we're talking maybe four hundred dollars at this point yes but here's a thing four hundred dollars okay yeah not to uh also including the two thousand dollars worth of alcohol I drank at a bar okay this is what we're getting to okay no no do I have a problem with alcohol no I have a problem with being sober but that's not okay so look you're you're drinking thousands of dollars of alcohol every night you're eating condoms you you are involved in an art form that I guess is now not

as popular as a very very severely strange fetish that people are doing yeah apparently as I've learned now scatting was very famous in the 50s and 60s no one likes it anymore I would say it was kind of gone by then I think it was yeah the 40s yeah 30s you know the jokes on me then I guess we're really late to the party when you love something you do it what what what got you into scatting yeah well so basically uh what happened is I didn't start talking till I was about seven really yeah were you a uh an emotional child who communicated just incredibly stupid as as the doctor you didn't even understand language I did but didn't care to didn't care to engage engage with anyone okay yeah and of course my doctor was a little bit ignorant kept telling my mom

he's like hey the kid's a dummy why don't you get rid of him and get another one because you could constantly have more children apparently wait you were already born and the doctor's telling your mom get rid of this kid that is a late term abortion wow that's that's a little onset can we all agree that's too late yeah my mom's like I believe in a woman no matter what I'm not going to abort this child after he's already at seven right exactly I believe life begins at the point of language acquisition oh really so we had to abort them before that as long as they're not speaking in sentences hey that's that's later than I believe but everyone okay I believe everyone has the right to choose so if you believe that I'm okay there's no way we can prove it okay so then

so you're saying instead of talking you were drawn to scatting or that's how you first communicated with people my first communicated through scatting okay so if I wanted milk I'd be like uh mama mama da da da da da da put a milk in my hand and let me sip it baby so uh sounded like a sentence yeah I mean there was logic to it I mean there was but as my mom would say no dumbbell talks like that right right my my poor mom she did everything she could you know this was a different time this was back in the 2000s where we just didn't know much about so you're a young guy I'm yeah I'm I'm 23 years old yeah yeah okay all right so yeah listen just going back so you that where did you when did you start school then were you still communicating with scatting because seven

seven years old yeah aren't you in kindergarten at that point I was I was um I was in kindergarten I was in a special kindergarten okay uh it was for for people who for kids who who refuse to speak okay oh I didn't know that they had schools like that it's just kids who don't feel like it so specific and also it's like hard to ask for a school like that if you don't speak well here's an if these kids weren't traumatized they just didn't feel like it um oh a lot of them came from very rich privileged backgrounds which I did not okay my mother blessed her soul she had three jobs my father which three um she was um she was let me see what was it she was uh you're finding it hard to speak now do it through scatting okay my my hat three jobs one was a water person a water person she

she worked for the department of water and she would bring water to people's houses oh I was picturing at a football game that she was like the water but no she's one of those people who brings waters to people's houses like bottled water this is a 2000 so we didn't have a lot of the stuff you have now okay yeah he likes it the water boy the water boy got me out of that movie you like that movie is that your wife outside Brenda yeah I was like who is this person with the most awful laugh I've ever heard and she laughs very similar to that I'm so sorry wow yeah that was interesting what your wife laughs the same as you do she does laugh the same as me is that how you got together you learned to laugh together that way we we learned to laugh together we had very

different laughs and then we merged them into oh okay what was your original laugh and then hers must have been crazy as I'm blending them together it comes out as all right interesting I mean that makes sense to me yeah you ever thought about scatting my friend you got a good tongue all the time oh really try this it's okay it sounded exactly the same I mean honestly like I don't know scat all that well it's not popular anymore other than Kim Katrall he's the reminder and it wasn't even real I mean to be honest it was barely popular when it was well that's not true but if you flew to Colorado for this yes you said scatathon for scatathon yes have you done other gigs other performances have you

ever been to scat unfortunately every performance that I've done as a scat performer ended up being at a scat club where it was all dedicated to of course the being turned on by the texture and smell of poo poo yeah aka dookie aka kaka aka crappy no we know what it is yeah we yeah is that where you got that the t-shirt you're wearing it says we put the scat and says scat you on yes you got that at one of those I did get that at one of them I wonder because it's the lettering is brown and it looks like it's dripping yeah there's a fly on the s where do you smell the shirt guess what it smells like fly on one of these is there we got that hat that says scats not cats yes this is not the musical this is a shit party yes yeah it's tiny writing uh you're right yeah

maybe I should stop you might say okay why don't you stop by the way I'm sorry I hate to interrupt is that where you got the button that you're wearing that says uh uh scats entertainment yes okay that's another scatathon no you should stop wearing this stuff because it makes me want to book you at one of these places I mean are yeah how you're getting these jobs is a look I mean the all these jobs would be honest by mistake okay yeah once again it comes down to this people aren't listening to scat music the way they used to back in the 30s they used to listen to it like contemptuously almost yeah I'm sorry I haven't heard of the scat man that man crawlers that that that that no not scat man crawlers one of the greatest actors that's ever lived but he started

scatting didn't did he not he started as a scat that's why they called him the scat man you don't know that you're you know I thought he was just an actor in the in the fantastic uh in the shiny yeah no but and you never wondered where his name scat man came from no I thought his you know he had a fun family that decided to name him scat but you know I wish I had a fun name like that my real name is not my last name real isn't oh yeah it's Johnny scott what is your actual last name pooping hymen pooping hymen yeah it's just two terrible things no why why there's nothing wrong with poop or a hymen oh he's crying oh no why are you crying you made Dean Hormel cry what's wrong that's a tragic story well tragic story that was your name and now you don't even go by it anymore

well no I mean you it's tragic that he had it and it's a tragedy he doesn't go by it no there's no tragedies here you know why oh because I followed something I love yeah when you follow something you love sometimes you have to be prepared to walk into the abyss yeah what's my abyss a bunch of places where people are getting off on the texture and smell it sounds it seems to me like you like it now though to be honest because like what one time this happening is an accident yeah twice it would seem to be pretty easy to vet these places after a while especially based on all these logos yeah yeah headband you're wearing right yeah thatcher rising star yeah and but the star is that a poop themed comedy yeah it looks like it from base on that and it's against a brick wall

but the logo that's standing at a microphone is a pile of poop yeah listen I it's not like I have the money to go to Zara whenever I want okay I can't just go to H&M H&M what's Zara Zara yeah is that Cirque du Soleil no it's a clothing store oh oh I'm sorry I don't have the money to go to Macy's so a lot of times is that Cirque du Soleil H&M is it just H&M I'm sorry I don't know I don't have the money to shop at these places they're not adding an extra A at these places look the thing is this I'm struggling we get it but what I'm trying to say is you're I'm struggling to see how you could be tricked I say that in quotes so many times I think you actually like it the mere fact that like a race car driver you're sponsored by used huggies like what I like okay

okay fine you're pulling it out of me you're making me take it the dump of truth as some of my friends see the fact that you're saying dump too okay anyway go ahead I've been going to these places because they've been providing free clothing to me okay I'm not interested in poop I'm just not okay I'm not interested in it it doesn't turn me on in fact most things don't turn me on well I see that on the back of your jacket it says that I'm not interested in poop right but then you like the ghostbusters you have a circle around it and a slash through it which means you are interested in it and the poop is like the ghost and like ghostbusters too it's holding up a two sign yeah you should just have the slash like number two not the whole thing can't a person wear clothes

without it being their life like if you got a billabong shirt what if I come on you go hey are you a billabong and you're like no it's just a shirt I'm just saying no I would say I used billabong your water your metal water bottle and I'm glad that you're you know you're you're you're recycling but right it's just on the side it says scat's what friends are for and it's um Deon Warwick and Elton John and they're made out of poop and it feels like very strange yeah because they were just two of those singers on that they were only two yeah yeah you would think it's just very odd that you wouldn't include the other singers yes and look this is I didn't include nothing this is a bottle I got for free okay but that's we're saying you seem to be doing a lot of this stuff yeah okay have I

got into the scat community a little bit and became friends with people yes am I still scatting yes I'm still scatting oh I'm here not I'm sorry Scott I'm not here to talk about poop I'm not here you brought it up within seconds no but I was just saying because you're also a walking billboard for it I mean yeah they're giving me the clothes for free guys I'm almost I'm one step away from living on the street the flap in your pants is open and you could button it but it's hot I mean what's the point what are we talking about hey sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission okay David Lee Rob yes we don't need to hear this quote all right all right I guess I'm confused because it's not just the clothes like you care the water bottle and then you drag

this movie poster in and you hung it up behind you and it says scatty shack yeah what's that about starring little poo-ree and it has a gopher made of poop I mean why you hang that up on our wall I'm growing hair on my tongue from saying this so many times these are things that were given to me for free by my new friends in the scat community yeah but why bring it with you to our place where would I keep it in the car where it could burn that's a good point things do burn in cars make a suggestion and this is anything I'm just trying to sort of look they they're in this community obviously there's also it's a subgenre of uh porn and they do make videos have you ever offered your services let me do be the soundtrack yeah at least you can be as the activity is

happening you can be over at doing your scatting okay I've done a few soundtracks for scat videos a few a few like have you appeared in them as well a few and by few I mean I don't know like hundreds 2,500 or 2,500 scat videos you've ever done yes I wasn't scatting like I wasn't poop scatting I was no he's doing the soundtrack of this thing are these popular huh are these popular videos they're in the scat community they're the number one okay hold on a second when you were just scatting just now you said the phrase shit on my dang yeah shit on my dang right yeah what is that about now is that a coded message shit on my dang meaning you're dang yeah that was the song that I uh that I wrote for a new scat film that just came out it's it's it's called I eat shit what

about you I eat shit what about you yeah I didn't come up with better titles I don't know I didn't like the title I didn't name it though they asked me like dude do you want to put music why throw this back in my court no you know it's like keep it to yourself what look I understand that these things are troubling for some people here okay but there's another world out there that people don't understand some people are into getting hard and getting wet pardon me folks but this is how it is getting hard and getting wet based off of the texture in the order of yes kaka yes no we know that and you are one of them I look if you bring me a bowl I wish I could how about this bring you if I bring you a bowl of shit right now see what I do with it I bet you won't see me get

hard I don't or anything I don't have to Dave do you have one do I have a bowl of shit not I mean Dean of Brenda oh no no no let's not let's like yeah right of this please can I just ask you a question because I love I love film scores and composing I know you know friends with Michael Giochino wow when yeah that's a little bit of a brag but he's amazing I think friends friends or like friends friends like how often do you get together with a couple times a month whoa anyway acquaintances when you when you compose when you compose this theme work acquaintances go ahead when you compose the theme for a scat video are you riffing it while you're watching it do you watch it first and think about are you a hummer as they say in the in the biz so this is my process

first thing I do is I go to the bathroom sit on the toilet and start taking a mean number two or as I sometimes like you call it a chunk of funk um so what I do really into this I mean here's a thing in terms of why did you just ask me yeah funk and you did like a big you winked to Ellen and you winked to Patton it's but you were but it wasn't trying to figure out if anyone here but you didn't wink at Scott or I look okay let's just put it on table anyone here at this anyone here get turned on by shit okay fine I won't say okay is that why you're here you're looking for more people who are I'm looking to I'm looking to grow my community okay my community is scat music it's I've also now joined the scat community because you like it I'm trying to bring them together right okay okay

I'm just I'm just an artist here I'm just one just be honest with it right off the bat because we could have saved so much time on this interview yeah okay but be honest about what that I that I'm that I'm I told you I'm not getting wet and I'm not getting hard from shit what I'm getting is friendship friendship from some good folks that people look down on and they and they don't deserve to be looked at that's nice that's no judgment here yeah I sure because it sounds like it's been judgments this is not at all no everyone's into whatever they're into yeah that's what I'll tell you one thing that I that does excite me about your world is that did you know there are more microorganisms in one teaspoon oh this is so boring already what's the fecal matter is it

it's boring already that's up that's up your alley the fecal matter fecal matter it is up my alley it's also up my moody but that's a joke that's a fecal joke here I'm not a comedian I'm a singer oh no now he's starting to cry are you okay how are you going through such a pink-hunging changes I wish there was some kind of like community gathering about to happen where you could maybe even meet more friends and introduce them to more wait a minute oh my gosh what are you guys I just remembered we have a block party do you want scat music yeah we don't have all we have is scott's three doors down cd that's right great all I need is a mic and uh all that is a mic yeah that's all you need and an amplifier

and a ride there great we can do that we'll place where you live huh where do you live Detroit oh we could do it scott we can do it road trip nice nice oh man hit me in the face I want a high five yeah I'm sorry I don't that's uh animatronics are I it's different when I give animatronics high fives they're in one set position oh I got okay I'll stay in one set position we'll see what happens here we go ah god I wasn't even moving yeah hey we'll get it right at the block party okay all right look high fiving is not as hard as you guys are making it look like but what were you saying my good friend no no judgments but look we have to take a break no okay no that's fine we don't have time to get to what he was saying unfortunately whatever it was

it's a joke it's a new joke oh 20 here let's go to the course right now look we're running out time we just have time for one final feature on the show that is of course a little something called plugs oh so touching that was drivetrain daisy plugs by lost and found our old friend lost and found thank you so much for that all right what are we plugging obviously pat and we have I love my dad I love my dad in theaters friday august 5th same day premiering on netflix the sand man I'm in that oh yeah that's right later have you seen it yet I've seen the whole season it is a good amazing oh man can't wait and then uh wednesday august 24th my creator-owned comic I co-created with

Jordan Blum minor threats will come out from dark horse oh good all right plenty of patent lots of patent to uh give you your patent fix uh ellen norton simon harris finley finster what do you want to plug here oh you know uh I can't remember if I plug this uh at another time or if anybody else plugged this but you can check out susie barrett in an improvised short film called gum yeah we've heard about this what is gum dot com great I'll plug something else uh that's great what is what is gum dot com what is gum dot com people can see that film yeah they can plug something else if you want no that's all right okay I'll save something for next all right dean hornel what do you want to plug here you want to check out magie on hulu it is out now all episodes

are streaming and also we got one hell of a block party coming up if you want to head over to our neighborhood september 11 september 11 check it out right after you take the moment of silence at disneyland yep then we're partying we're bringing the mr toad's wild ride and tronics down to the we're putting it right in front of your plane garage door it is going to be a sight to behold you'll see scott creeping around it's gonna be a who like a shadow johnny scott aka johnny poop and hyman yes uh what uh what do you want to plug a couple of things if you don't mind uh one of them is uh i just we just released uh uh i did a soundtrack for a brand new scott film called holy shit where'd all this poop come from uh it's a comedy it's a comedy it's like a it's a it's a

it's a workplace comedy uh workplace comedy office it's about an office that like they should stop ordering poop they order it they order it and the song is he loves it god that sounds gross but uh the song is like it starts like this and that's what starts like that it starts like that i'm also doing a uh i'm also doing a concert in detroit oh it's a scott concert congrats uh not musically i say can scats very you all are very good at these poop puns very good but i'm doing a concert out there also my good friend peter banifaz he's in this wonderful film called everything ever at all at once everyone should go see a good movie yeah it's very yeah i think i mentioned that guy right yeah yeah very nice guy very nice guy okay um yeah and that's

it and if this if i can just say one more last thing before i go well no we're not done like i have to plug people oh he just took a dump right over sorry i'll pick that up don't pick it up just leave it there we'll get a towel no i don't know what the right thing to do is put it in the trash they don't put themselves in the trash believe me stop picking it up with your butt cheeks what should i do touch it with my hands come on Jesus Christ all right i want to plug hey tonight's the night we start the comedy bang bang tour tonight for the next four weeks and tonight we're in minnesota and uh then we go of course to uh so many places chicago in st louis and texas and everywhere all around so head over to cbbworld.com slash tour you can

get tickets and then also while you're at cbbworld.com you can if you sign up as a maximus member you can hear every stop of the tour you can follow us along on tour all month uh so uh subscribe if you subscribe for a year you get two months free and uh so yeah we'll see you out there on tour me paul if tomkins and a assorted cast of characters we're gonna have a lot of fun so i hope to see you at your own town all right let's close up the old plug bag oh oh yeah that was kate ronda plug bag remix by diggit al thank you so much diggit al guys i want to thank you so much pat and always great to see you uh congratulations on the film

thank you and uh do like how do we get to the oscars do we carpool what do we do i don't know why i'm going i'm assuming i'm gonna make a movie by the end of the year that gets nominated uber does have an oscaride share feature now and it saves so much money it's the best is the driver wearing a tuxedo oh yeah it's okay it's classy all the way man okay yeah yeah uh and uh ellen norton simon harris finley fenster it's been such a pleasure such a pleasure you're really boring but such a pleasure i wish i wasn't yeah i know i got it i get uh hopefully you don't drive into the ocean in a couple of days we can all hope okay and uh dean hornel what needs to be said you're my neighbor you're my brother yeah we'll be you're my best friend thickest

things we truly are i hope you don't laugh or cry by the end of the episode and johnny scat you want to take us out with that one last scat you i mean uh oh this i've been waiting for this my whole life you kidding me okay and a one and a two and a three and you're making dean emotional second in the second and oh my god this is a new sound what what what what what is this what what how are you feeling dean blown away at the talent blown away at the talent that's your impressed all right great thank you all right we'll see you next time thanks bye