Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Paul F. Tompkins, Drew Tarver, Ryan Gaul

Episode Date: April 10, 2023

Wet Day co-creator Paul F. Tompkins joins Scott to chat about Wet Day traditions, the man upstairs, and blue checkmarks. Then, brothers Ike and Spike Minksalmon return to talk about their new musical that involves a granddaughter. Plus, Pudge returns in search of his golden retrievers. Happy Wet Day to all and to all a Wet Night!

That's right. Yeah, you know what they Carol the wet day Carol the number one wet day Carol it is number one I mean obviously there's others number one with a bullet of course but everyone this is the this is our wet day special of course and we're out on wet day itself this is the all I want for Christmas as you of wet day that's yes true yeah hopefully on wet day it'll rise back up to number one every year around Christmas time let me get to the catch phrase a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush so crammed them in and watch me blush welcome to comedy bang bang thank you you're in all cakes could be

bluish bluish maybe burn the hands were two in the bush crammed together watch me bluish bluish watch me but watch me bluish maybe they're talking about Jim Belushi oh I hope so oh I pray they're talking about Jim Belushi if you're talking about wet day you're talking about Jim Belushi oh he loves you know why because he smokes cigars yep the end of that cigar very wet stopping wet from his saliva of course he's no Bill Clinton he did not inhale he did other things with those cigars that's right you play tax phone with the cigar once wait like a cigar backed him up exactly on the flute but the flute yep he only wanted

to play something that looked like himself you ever seen a cigar kick the shoot then play the flute welcome to comedy bang bang for another edition my name is Scott Ackerman and of course you know the gentleman that is here for wet day if you're celebrating wet day today of course you knew he'd be back he is stand-up comedian extraordinaire he you you hear his voice every year on the comedy bang bang best ofs and he is here for what day and that's it the two things that he's that he does it I can't I cannot think of a single other struggling to think of a third thing a third thing you know comedy is a best

in threes and yet I cannot think I'm taking the Andy Kindler rule on this and a third thing and a third thing yes Paul of Tonkin's is here happy wet day to all and to all a wet night oh I hope everyone has a wet night today although what's what Dave shouldn't that be a wet night it should be I mean the end of wet day you're pretty much tuckered out with what do we consider what Dave the night before or the stroke of midnight oh until 6 a.m. wet day yeah until the sun rises I don't know no I think just the stroke of midnight just the okay so we're literally just midnight after that 12th bong it's over for one second now

it's what day yeah okay yeah I understand yeah yeah I mean cuz it's a holiday it has its own traditions let's talk about some of them let's get into it let's teach the controversy we talked about it last year when we celebrated wet day it's a relatively new holiday yes of course we strain to other popcorn and ice cubes yes we place a wet tree outside our house that's our apartment and then we open the window and we bend it so it leans inside yes the primary thing is that the tree has to be wet not not the wettest tree but a wet tree wet just wet enough that you would say that trees wet and no one

can bring in a wetter tree no that is in your peripheral vision like you can't just like settle on a wet tree meanwhile there's a wetter tree over there yeah yes yeah Poseidon the Greek God is the patron saint of wet day of course and now we know Jim Belushi also is one of these one of the symbols of wet day for sure what would you wet day parade yes he is the grand marshal he's the last guy yes you know what I mean Poseidon leads it off sure of course got a big fire rose he's much like the Thanksgiving Day Macy's Day parade Thanksgiving Day Macy's Day is another very popular holiday for what once a year Macy's

Day is taken over by Thanksgiving Day that's a separate holiday we're not celebrating today Macy's Day but also you're supposed to keep Macy's Day in your heart all the year round of course you definitely are but a lot like how Santa Claus comes out at the end everyone goes oh the fat man himself is it which I feel is very weird everyone says that look the fat man himself I don't like we say the fat man himself for Jim Belushi when I don't like when they call Santa the big guy yeah I don't either so that's not your buddy that's reserved for Joe Biden as far as I'm concerned wait he's the big guy or he calls him in all

those emails he was referred to as the big guy are you fucking kidding me man I delete them so fast I didn't even get to that oh not the ones he sends you the ones of where they're talking about him you know I know all of them I do raise immediately anyway what do we do for a wedding we take a we take a longer shower than usual that's right drought be damned not too much longer no no no no maybe I mean we last year we talked about 45 minutes to an hour but I think we should keep it to maybe 20 minutes 25 minutes 30 minutes 30 minutes minimum or maximum minimum minimum minimum and maximum it's gonna be exactly at the stroke of 30

minutes at a time when you hear that last bomb you're too good to set a timer set a timer set a timer for once in your life and set the alert to a grandfather clock yes can you do that no okay hey I would have been doing it oh my god hey Tim Apple let's get on that hey Tim Apple we need new ringtones look I have my ringer off always but I would like some new ringtone anytime you get an update it's like oh new emojis new emojis where's the grandfather clock bonging we've been waiting for now I've only been around since 2008 I believe we've been waiting for 15 years can I tell you something that I got downloaded this app

that was well there's more story if you believe it because it was like the ship's bells oh okay and I thought that was fun to like have that I was legitimately trying to imitate what I hear in my head of King Kong gate nope that's what I get a doorbell from ding dong to King Kong you you try to imitate these ship spells without hearing it just hear it in your head no I'm not gonna do that why look what happened to you we high-fived but I but then it doesn't do anything it doesn't make the sounds what do what's the app do then it shows you like what I was supposed to look at the phone every it shows you what it shows you what time

it is I think there's like a little time it is like a little noise that's an alert it shows you how many bells it is oh I see okay but it doesn't like make the sound you want the sound I want the sound all right Tim Apple get on that as well which which realistically I would have had on for what a half hour and before you're like I can't take this wet day carols that's a big part of yes it is we played one of them a wet-ass pussy of course is the number one wet day song with a bullet the jingle bells of wet day yes forget what I said earlier there's also WAP rock wop wop rock like jingling around the Christmas tree yep the

wet day tree excuse me we have a gonna make you sweat is one of the wet day carols of course because you're wet with perspiration yeah Keith sweat also one of the yes bringing in the sheaves as a wet day carol because even though it's about wheat you just change wheat to wet yeah yeah that makes sense I don't know if wheat is ever mentioned in the song by the way I think it's implied though well back then because sheaves are like everyone knew what sheaves were sure sheaves of wheat yeah well who else has grown sheaves back then so just it's implied she's a broccoli it's she's a broccoli it's implied and so in the

implication wheat is wet yes various covers of these songs also work of course the wet day holiday band mm-hmm wet wet wet that's right now wet day gifts we talked about this a little bit but obviously water obviously water a bottled water and I don't want any form we gave each other bottled water yes we did oh upon seeing each other right before the show we also Scott gave me a little arrowhead bottle I gave him a gigantic sparkless bottle but I gave you a wet car with a wet bow on it and you so unfortunately the the colors of the bow ran because of the the wetness yeah unlike the colors in our flag yeah

that's what those those don't run but it stained the car much like those Hondas from that one year where they have those damage to it yes what year was that I wonder I feel like it was the the early 90s I remember Bob Odin Kirk had one of those for a long time but you know I'm I'm very pleased to say that we have a listener who created a new wet day care oh this is exciting I have not heard this a new this is bold to make a new Carol for this holiday a new Carol I mean obviously we've been celebrating this now for approximately 365 days to have a new Carol yeah but this is Dan Louie Zell he made a new Carol do they joke

names do they know it's wet day here we go it's dry if you're punched and will give you a cry my tears will help you moisten through the driest hole and I will help you wet your soul I will help you wet your soul good if it ends there but we're only half way through very nice very beautiful I think that that really put me in the season let me really I'm ready for wet day I mean the whole bottles of water the I mean we jumped in the pool earlier as soon as you got here we're like everyone in the pool we ruined our new iPhones oh yeah my watch is broken we had just given each

other the day before absolutely but now they're wet now they are wet yeah you have to admit that yeah yeah yeah my Italian loafers do you think that Dan who made that song do you think he got actual children or just adult women kind of going like animation style yeah little kids exactly yes to both mm-hmm he got the you got a broad selection of both he got the kids to watch the adult women imitating children and then imitated them yes wow okay so it's alright well great job Dan thank you so much fantastic really good stuff and you know what I'm glad it didn't end on a fade out yeah what do you mean you know

when the song is over you don't like fade outs in general I hate fade outs because I imagine the people singing the song forever an eternity up in heaven yes and somebody has turned it down because it's too gruesome to ponder they've been put under some sort of magic spell that forces them to sing there's somebody they're like still in a studio singing that song the engineers like I know what to do they're not gonna stop I gotta turn this down hey there here's a rule no fade out songs on wedday we don't play any of them I'd wear the cosine yeah in fact if you're making a song for wedday I I want like a

countdown before before a hard-ending I want it in nine eight seven six five four three two one yeah hard and and it has to sound like it's a NASA countdown yes exactly yeah you have and there has to be like that's me like 10 not the not the stumbling over it but like 10 9 that's by the way if you're working for NASA and you stumble on 10 you're not coming back next year you're in the capsule right and you hear the guy go up into the 10 you ain't getting the one buddy I'd be terrified what what just happened so we're recording this in the morning what are your plans for later on for wedday you're getting

together with a fam yeah it's gonna get together with a fam we're all gonna sit in a waiting pool in the front yard I got one of the ones every year I make my own waiting pool and then when your family comes over do you toss up a shovel and they're like what am I digging my own grave and then instead I say bet close but better you're digging your own waiting pool waiting pool yeah right in the front yard yeah I pour the cement so then do you have to to rip out the cement yep absolutely well I wait till the next day and sometimes you like I hate those neighborhoods where people leave their cement waiting pool

up to like March exactly I mean this is one the next year this is one of the great parts and this is almost a day in of itself is the day where we break down our wet day decorations absolutely day after day it's a little set but by the time it rolls around you're like okay good I'm ready to have my house back to about it was yes but it you can't beat the feeling and then you know we of course we eat a big wet meal yeah it's all soup and it's hard it's hard to fuck up that being wet you know what I mean oh yeah it just comes hand in hand with it being soup I guess I've never had a soup that I would call dry I don't think

I've never sent one back like this is a little too dry for me occasionally like you say wet day food it's like hey bring me the wettest ham you can find right exactly and then listening with sweat then it arrives and it's just dry as a bone yeah soup always gonna be wet always gonna be wet unless like a waiter is like can I introduce you in a dry white soup occasionally I'll get a like a deconstructed soup and it'll just be a cube yeah bullion cube it's like hey buddy get the fuck exactly which is and you can say that way yes and then of course after after you know we eat I'm a little sleepy and so I'll fill up the

tub and take a nap in there right of course you're mainly sleepy because it's 11 30 p.m. by then right yeah exactly we've been eating all day long and it's bedtime sure so of course I end up sleeping all night in the in the full tub yeah and my back is fucked after one wet day I think it's mostly the sleeping in a tub yeah have you continued that all year round no just one day well I mean to sleep a full eight hours in a bathtub yeah just I love this poem by the way to sleep a full eight hours in a bathtub join me in the porcelain grave I who am tired you who are not together we seek solace I love

that poem because it's one guy trying to convince another person hey I know you're not tired come sleep in the tub yeah exactly yeah yeah come on and we don't know and we that's the ending so we don't know if they do it or not it's I know it's not big enough for two people you're not even tired get in here oh my gosh wow what do you do for a wet day Scott what are your plans well of course I go to the wettest places I can find mm-hmm and you know a little bit of tarpets of course try to dip in there they don't like you to go in there it's a lot like the fountain at the Grove they don't like you to jump in the last

they don't like you to jump in but they allow it they allow it they can don't it it's like going to Hearst Castle they always warn you like hey by the way you cannot jump in this pool and there's always someone who jumps in there and they're arrested and kicked out I think the thing is if you yell cannonball they can't arrest you yeah it's a lot like if you're a cop and someone asks you if you're if you're diving in you yell cannonball how did that start if you're a cop you have to tell me it's like do do they I don't think I think that goes against all of their techniques I think you can if you ask somebody are they are

you a cop and the cop can say no I think it's in the first amendment right you a big one a guy right to lie yeah I love the first amendment it's my second favorite amendment oh okay I know what you're talking about yeah yeah I go to the wettest places the Liberia tar pits I go to of course the ocean and I surf in the morning and I ski at night yeah that you can do that in California of course yeah and do it all the time by the way no I but we do it a lot I mean I've done it every day for the past 14 years I've done it on the weekends every weekend of my life since living here right I love to wake up in the morning

I usually get up around 3 a.m. I go swimming so I go surfing around I want to say 5 yeah 5 a.m. so that's when the surf is that it's been a lot of the day spent driving yeah about eight hours to the slopes yeah then like 10 p.m. I'm out on the slopes yep and then eight hours back you have time to go one down now one bunny hill pretty yeah yeah yeah and I've added a third thing I like to skate shoot while I do it oh that's the Olympics oh yeah yeah oh no I do the Olympics here's what I like about the Olympics they've taken the concept of California moved everything closer together that's right yeah how do you

mean though well you swim and then you get out and then it's like you can go right to my seat and then you get off the bike there's a gun right there yeah you normally in California we move we separate those things as far apart as we can well they just ended up being where they are yeah do you think that was an accident where they were just like some guy was swimming he got out and there happened to be a bike lying right there and a gun and it was just like let's turn this into a thing this is serendipity I think all of America was a mistake kind of yeah in a way it was like a happy accident you know I and

of course you know I love to fill up water balloons and I go around local businesses and I just open the doors and toss yeah yeah toss water balloons in it all the customers and they love it they love it they know what day it is they know of course they know it's wet day we talked about it last year yeah they're on board and of course I've written in mascara wet day on the balloons and so they know do you know what is another fun thing that I like to do is take all the ink out of a pen and replace with water yeah so funny and then and then what I like to do is I like to have those squirt flowers that you put on a

lapel and I put the ink from those hands and those exactly still wet yep say this very way yeah so why do you identify as the prank I like to do it because I like to pretend I'm writing in invisible ink oh that's fun on wet day that's one of the most on what day that's fun oh man what day of course started approximately one year ago yeah was our first wet day and somewhere in the range we've been celebrating ever since between 350 and 370 days or so ago mm-hmm we've been celebrating ever since that one day a year yeah that's right haven't been doing wet year now wet year that would be too much right

when do you do you think that's ever possible like is there you know how future you know how certain people they celebrate their birthday week and then their birthday month I don't think I could take wet week or wet month I mean it's fun to think about it's fun to think about but but when you think about the reality of it suddenly things start to creep in your mind of like oh my my skin is gonna be all pruney the entire month I mean one day we love it we like go look I'm an old man to each other that's right that's a big part of that's a big part of what I'm an old man and no matter how you identify that's what you

say that's what you say I'm an old man because only an old man has fingers like woman none but non-binary whatever you are woman non-binary woman non-binary oh man how long do you think will will will it be a tradition I weird question yes till the end of life on earth so society crumbles you think yeah does what they still exist yes because we need these things yes it's sometimes it's all we have to cling to that's right but when the last human look Christmas Christmas still around nobody gives a shit about God right I don't think so no who would wait who are we talking about huh like wait the guy up in the sky the

big guy the big guy no that's Biden of course we talked about the man upstairs that's it when did that who started that the man upstairs I don't know great colloquial is honestly that's a thing like that the first time somebody said it probably pretty funny pretty funny you you would have laughed your silly butt off and then who is the asshole who like stole it and didn't give credit probably his best friend probably his best friend a Judas is scary at type I bet it was Jesus Jesus oh Jesus said that I'd be like dude let's it be the peacemakers I didn't think I got a guy upstairs I didn't think I could like you

more but then you get then you're fun get out of here do you think he was a fun guy he seemed kind of mopey but that's I hate talking about Jesus because he's not part of wet day this is not a real no he's not he's not he's not the reason for the season no and keep the Christ out of wet days what I say but I think that because it's like Christmas wet someday will be an X like Christ is like Xmas X day well why would it because the X stands in for Christ right but there was a reason why did they do well why did they because the Christians were being persecuted oh so they were sort of like use that as a symbol you know X

yeah that was the best they could come up with us what about two cross lines what makes me think of no one will crack that code hey let's let's make it the thing that we he was killed on right that big cross yeah I just I mimed it but it wasn't cross it wasn't it was an X yeah well I mean like X Tina what is a cross but an X that's a little longer on one end great point great point great point wait so yeah Jesus I don't think he was fun because the Gospels are four separate accounts yeah and no one nobody says he was fun yeah there's not there's not one joke there's not one gospel that's like always nice to me yeah in fact most of

them are just about like boy he was a real jerk when he cursed that fig tree everything I do this guy's like don't do that yeah it's bad what a drag he's a little condescending I didn't I mean no wonder he only had 12 followers yeah 12 guys you could stand to be around I bet he's the kind of guy who would pay for Twitter blue when I get his message out there can we talk to us very briefly about yeah how funny that is of course yeah like just the crumbling of it just the you're one of the first guys who was like mr. president take this yeah really that

could just do it myself oh yeah I changed my username changed it back okay easy I saw I'm still getting emails that say your verification status is in jeopardy is it really but yeah the idea that the blue check mark meant so much to people first it was a dismissive thing people like oh another blue check heard from yeah and then when you could pay for it people like and then it's now it's dismissive on the other the other now it's like even if you're a celebrity even if you're a known entity you have to pay for it and the people are like no I'm not gonna do that yeah and then now I wonder are people still

going to do it I don't know I mean I guess we'll have to if it doesn't put you in it if it doesn't visually put you on par with like some famous entity why would you pay for it do you think Elon Musk celebrates wet day I don't think he does I don't think he does either I don't I think he needs to visit it by three wet ghosts that's right in wet sheets and you know what two of them are Ted Danson and what's her name from creep show they buried him up to his neck that's right who was it in the what what is her name in creep show I don't remember all I can see is Ted Danson's waterlogged face yeah cuz if you

haven't seen creep show he gets buried up to his neck mm-hmm on the beach and then the tide rolls in are we talking Adrienne Barbo or she in a different part of creeps I think she's in a different pristine forest sure why not why not and then Leslie Nielsen of course the naked gun mm-hmm sometimes when you're naked you get wet in the shower so it makes sense it's true sometimes your naked nothing happens sometimes you get wet hey if you're lucky you get wet three wet ghosts the wettest sheets you can find mm-hmm from water guys let's let's you know what I mean I mean you can do that other stuff

but sure but come on and then they go to Elon Musk's house and they go dude you could stand to be a little bit wetter mm-hmm and then suddenly he just parties with us well I mean they spray him with a hose oh yeah of course yeah yeah like a powerful hose like oh yeah like a fire hose yeah during the civil rights era absolutely how do you like it I actually is very fitting to me and I think we I would love it if that happened yeah just one day him being sprayed by hose yeah yeah just one day on wet day every year we gather Elon Musk yeah gather him we gather him unto our bosom and then we spray him with a fire hose and it's

turned up all all the way you know who else is a part of wet day is Michael Richards because in UHF he gets sprayed with the fire hose I'll take your for I've never seen the film oh really okay yeah you should oh my god Paul you need some water I do take a break we know it's not wet my throat right now look that's not a good thing on wet day we need to get that as wet as it can be we have a great show Paul I know you need to take off but yeah I can't stand to be here anymore we have a couple of brothers here coming up after the break so what's that you have brothers coming my brothers coming up yeah make sure you

can't stick around man I want to but I don't think I can yeah you have so many wet day plans I wish you told me you had brothers coming on the brothers I do I'm so sorry who else you have that's it okay great yeah I can leave them okay goodbye we're gonna come right back we'll have some brothers more wet day celebration we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang welcome back wet day special of course and Paul if Tomkins had to go but we have the aforementioned brothers here are here very very exciting they've been on the show a couple of times before please welcome back to the show I

can spike meek salmon hello we're back how are you I'm doing really well happy Wednesday to you both I'm gonna cut to the chase here oh we don't want to go too far before we mentioned let's stop dancing around it okay you got a look in your eye I could tell what you're thinking and you better stop thinking it right now stay away from our granddaughter okay yeah I like how you were gonna say that together and one of you didn't realize are you gonna you guys like both kind of like my you're sometimes we go don't know go go near okay but instead yeah so you thought it was a don't go near maybe start now

with a don't go near but we started out with a stay away from I thought I had it try to turn time five six seven eight stay away from our granddaughter I like it I like so wait so instead of a three two one you do chorus line rules words five six seven eight well they have approached us to do a musical what the mink salmon brothers somebody wrote a musical it involves a granddaughter they decided in previews everyone was too close to the granddaughter and they said we need something here and we were the perfect people to bring in oh yeah I bet they flagged this for you just suddenly there was a character that was

a granddaughter no the granddaughter existed in the show already but everyone was too close to the granddaughter it was a blocking issue oh okay came in to fix the blocking okay do you have any experience in theatrical productions or no you got that one together this is our first time treading the boards and we are hooked we love it so you guys are real that's of course what someone says when there's a five-minute warning is given that's right line line how often does that happen during show or someone forgets the lines I don't think that's I don't think I've ever seen that recently in a

show every performance we are involved in every performance you're involved in something about our presence makes people forget their lines we remember our lines every time we've never messed up we've never gone up on lines so wait a minute you guys are in the show as well because you were brought in just to fix the blocking we were so good at the blocking they said we got to get these guys on stage why not have them do what they're teaching ah okay presence is undeniable so what kind of what parts are you playing are you playing the same part in your alternating lines or we play brothers

yes good who make sure the cast stays away from our granddaughter okay so is your granddaughter in the actual show she is now okay so you brought the granddaughter to be in the show and you want everyone to stay what you were having trouble sounding believable when it wasn't our granddaughter we were phoning it in we didn't care if anyone was near this girl we slipped up a few times people got very close to the granddaughter we were eating of course at craft services they have craft services theatrical craft services usually they just order out from the corner diner or something like that yeah the corner

diner that takes me back to when we were policemen wait you guys were policemen yeah yeah oh a cab ACAB dirty cops that's the first thing you say when you meet of course come on you gotta know it we know it but wait three or four lines give us a chance you guys are reading the lines right now everything we say is scripted okay I didn't get a script so I'm I hopefully I'm not throwing you off and you never will but wait is it a stay away from my script situation we don't have time to watermark a script for you you we know you would leak it it would get me we cannot have but it's being leaked it's being

leaked when this podcast comes out wait hold on hold on hold on is he right I think he's right let's go off script okay we've never done that before is this still part of the script by the way yeah I'm peeking over your shoulder okay I just cut to the end here okay let's go off script okay yes last page last page wait there are five pages in between what you were just saying conclusion stay away from our granddaughter lights out the end the end everyone heads to the corner diner let's practice the curtain call okay we come out together from opposite wings we meet in the middle we scan the crowd for our granddaughter

is she there she's in the show near her we look for our friends in the house seats we wave at the comps we face the comps we point to the orchestra you wave them first and then face them wait you're back to them when you were waving we face them and say we were waving at you we point to the orchestra yes we say shh wait you're you're telling the orchestra to be quiet yes usually when you point to the orchestra it's like hey give them a hand no we say keep that noise away from our granddaughter a little ears are sensitive a bassoon could rupture her eardrum how young is your granddaughter by the way I don't

think we've ever sorry sorry sorry she's got young ears though we can that's safety was so and you've got a limited amount of time left on this earth if you don't stop talking about our granddaughter we all have a limited amount of time on this earth don't we yours is very limited how limited are we doggie one minute one minute if you look or walk near or even breathe whoa don't breathe our granddaughter okay I'm sorry here's the things you can't do okay go near me talk to listen to listen to be nice to be mean to be indifferent to look at talk to I think we got the word smell see taste okay well I wasn't planning

here touch see as a gray with pray with you don't break bread with are we running out of things which one are you Mike or Spike or I know you know and you'll never know fellowship with hmm think about be with study ignore photograph film paint sculpt draw sketch caricature not even caricatures because I mean that's so great we don't care caricature our granddaughter what if she's do not heighten her characteristics in a funny way don't portray her doing one of her favorite hobbies she wouldn't you wouldn't she like it I mean we people pay good yes she would and that's what we're worried

about oh we don't want our granddaughter to like you more than us oh is that what this is all about we can't draw what guys it's easy you just I don't know you take a look at our drawings what do you think I mean they're not museum grade but I mean shit I knew it I thought we'd undersell them and then he'd say these are museum grade so wait but he called it out right away I mean these are really really good but no I would they would they don't belong in a museum only if they belong in a museum that's the only way what if we died 50 years ago would they be museum grade huh I mean what if we burnt the edges of the

paper made them a little brown crinkled it up a little bit yeah glass case shadow box if you will I guess I would put it maybe in a local art show local art show and do you think our granddaughter would come in look do you think our granddaughter on a school trip would pause at our paintings would she would the group move on and she's linger maybe having a moment with our drawings especially if your names are up there next to it would she sit on the bench and try to replicate the drawing in her moleskin notebook I I that this is beyond my purview I have no idea what you would do I don't even know your

granddaughter what is she up to these days do you mind just discuss I mean she's she's in school we're gonna tell you this once and this is the last time we're gonna tell you don't ask about our granddaughter okay I'm sorry I just I will be very vague yeah she's on earth start she breeze oxygen okay good she has to eat to survive okay she must drink water every three days pretty not very often so don't go hanging around water fountains you won't see you okay you're not gonna see her by a pond in the Serengeti with the other animals I mean this is wet day I hope she's around some water today I what's wet day you

guys were here on our last wet day no we were we were yes you were no we were right as you were no we were red you were and I don't want to I don't want to prove it to you proof proof show us proof proof proof here I let me type up a comedy being wet day mink salmon there see you were on last year's episode last year's type this you this is a document you made you start to sound like somebody else you sound like somebody else in the beginning I have to say I always sound exactly like me we love sounding like someone else don't we folks give it up for someone else when you sound like I'm very good what but I

I'm sensing the pain within you guys is your granddaughter not talk to you anymore rephrase the question so it's about us and not our granddaughter are you upset that your granddaughter doesn't speak to you it seems yes this is hard it's hard for a grandfather or a couple of grandfathers to take we told so many people to stay away from our granddaughter that she is now staying away from us no the ultimate irony she said and I quote I'm staying away from my grandfather no no that's exactly what you didn't want yes we are not allowed to look at her listen to her touch her taste her take communion with pray with

her I get all the all the stuff that you guys talked about before yeah yeah yeah right this is terrible so she's cut off all ties she has this is awful what how does her mother feel about this who or father who who we stay away from her parents okay we don't know who her parents are and we never will she's our great I almost feel like that's impossible that I don't want to get too too you know our children what is impossible about two grandfathers not knowing who their granddaughter's parents are I don't you're right okay I don't want to delve too deep but all things are possible through Christ right oh you

guys are religious too no but we've heard that's true the word on the street is all things are possible through Christ okay why I guess so but this is a sad story guys I mean I can spike your have you seen our granddaughter usually when you ask that it's so I can stay away from get us near our granddaughter well I mean if I can have access to her somehow I mean this is the problem you want me to stay away from her this is a catch-22 have you ever heard one of those yes it's like a COVID-19 but three more yeah yep we both have catch-22 we both caught catch-22 and we didn't want to give it to our granddaughter yeah I mean that's

this is a terrible situation because you want to be close to her but I mean you almost are like making yourself stay away from her it's a bit of both both things are true but have you seen our granddaughter could you point I don't know anything about her you have some photos oh oh my god you tell us these are several granddaughters can you pick out how grand you've laid out 200 photos on the table I this is I don't can you can we do a can I pick one and then you do a let's make a deal kind of thing where you eliminate 198 of them yes okay is this our granddaughter I mean that is obviously a child simple yes or no

that's a child from India so I'm gonna say no but I have no idea okay moving on moving on is this our granddaughter it's Matilda it's Matilda from the movie Matilda is that her no I don't think that especially since that was the there goes a hundred of them oh so a lot of these were pictures of Matilda from different angles all right let's make a deal we're shuffling up the remaining picture okay all right oh fanning out the pictures amazing we're all so magicians you're magicians look in you you look in your shirt oh my god it's my body yes that's right voila voila voila tada tada the Netflix sound that's

magic Hollywood magic though I always said that all right so we're trying to narrow down your grand your granddaughter there's a now a hundred pictures in front of me give only 75 on Matilda okay get rid of the Matilda's okay okay 25 pictures left 25 photos okay hardly any on Matilda it looks to be about 20 of these are Matilda okay we're down to five okay five photos okay four of these are Matilda okay who is that that's your granddaughter oh now we know what she looks like good now I know what she looks like beautiful don't look don't look at this picture about granddaughter let us look why is she

dressed like Matilda wait this is Matilda oh no this is Matilda again now we still don't know what our granddaughter looks like damn it are you guys Matilda fans it's all right I don't know that there's a solution for this I mean I I obviously want to help you find your granddaughter but I'm not allowed around her I have no idea what she's like you wouldn't tell me anything about her last time you're on the show we have really created this hell for ourselves we are in a prison of our own making I wonder if there's something we could offer on air right now they could lure our granddaughter some kind of

granddaughter reward yeah what did she like maybe you could offer swinging she's swinging seasaw slides sandbox all the s's slippery slides oh well it's wet day of course it's a slippery no man building not sex Scott she's too young she's too young 18 maybe which is not enough not enough okay you're still not emotionally developed enough to have should we raise you guys you guys are in favor of raging the age of consent it's my favorite despite all my age I'm still a rage so you guys are I mean we will be at the third street playground this afternoon love that playground spray painted silver and gold pretending to be

robots whistles in your mouth yep to do that's what you hope the cars who pass by will have their horns and and we're asking our granddaughter whatever she looks like whatever her name is wherever on earth she is to show up and have one last play date with a grand oh I hope she comes by but you're on the swing we'll get on the other side of the seasaw we'll let her assist assist us in making a garden hose into a trap what you put your punch holds in a garden hose you put nails through it then you can stretch it across a highway and give an oncoming car flat diet why are you gonna do that is I it seems like a weird thing to do

with your grand don't ask questions that concern our granddaughter even tangentially I'm so I beg your pardon I we throw the hose out across the street if there is a high-speed chase with cops after all oh remember so you you Jerry rig a high-speed chase trap just in case it's needed we have you guys lost interest in that sense as you're doing it together we realized it was private yes oh okay want to tell you look if you're if you're the the minks salmon granddaughter these guys they miss you they love you we'd love to meet you we love to meet you we stay away from our granddaughter yeah they want one last

play to treat others the way you want them to treat you the golden rule the granddaughter rule yeah yes they but they want one last day I who knows how long these guys have left on earth you know 75 years 75 years from now more 75 more years I don't know about that guys 75 how old are you now 75 so you want to be 150 we will be 150 and how old will your granddaughter be 100 she's 25 years old she's old enough for sex no stop thinking about sex with our granddaughter you brought it up first wait did we not sex sex that's not the same as bringing up having sex with her okay I don't know guys please but we're

desperate we want we're gonna imagine being 145 and not having any contact with your granddaughter you only got five years left and she's 70 years old that's right we got the math down well guys I I hope this works out for you I mean there's no better platform your message out there it's a sad story but it is a happy day otherwise it's wet day it is wet day so you do remember it no talking about the garden hose jog my memory a little bit yeah we were here last time that's a real page okay well look we have to take a break okay can you guys stick around it's wet day after all yeah all right great we're gonna take a

break when we come back I can spike minks and I'll be here we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we're back I can spike minks amateur here of course tell us the whereabouts of our granddaughter you were furiously texting during the break or who are you communicating with each other oh you were right next to each other well we like to ask if the other one's seen you can't talk you can't speak emojis we like to use a good good point we love the little cat with hard eyes I like the little demon guy not the winky no demon but the red and

black guy it's kind of scary you know they come out with new emojis all the time what about a grandfather clock sound please they've been out since 2008 they've been making app after app after app could they possibly make a grandfather clock make we're grandfathers we'd love to have our own clock on the phone yes you I mean I can only imagine if you're a grandfather then you would only want grandfather clocks all of our clocks are grandfather clocks how noisy is your house very noisy because they're all set to different times I do that you just love the sound we love the sound of the grandfather clock it reminds us that

we're grandfathers yes gling long I'm a grandfather gling long oh boy to my grandfather look at my look at our watches oh yes they wouldn't and they're and they're sticking up perpendicular to your wrist right now those are dangerous they are pointed at the top yeah so keep that in mind when you're not bringing us our granddaughter wait now you want me around your granddaughter to bring her to you stay away from our granddaughter I there's no way out of this but finder this is untenable from afar and point us to her bring her to us with I'm maybe luring her luring her from far away

granddaughter not she's well she's 25 years old don't trap my granddaughter don't ensnare our granddaughter don't tie up our granddaughter don't throw a bag over our granddaughter's head don't put our granddaughter roughly in the back of a van don't dig a hole cover it with leaves and twigs and make our granddaughter fall into it don't be a trap our granddaughter don't throw a net over our granddaughter don't tie our granddaughter up and put her on the train tracks don't paint a door on the side of a cliff and make our granddaughter walk into it causing her face to become flat then she shakes her head out and her face is

normal again don't drop a piano on our granddaughter don't buy TNT from a store and try to blow up our granddaughter don't shoot our granddaughter with a gun but your guns clogged and it blows out and spreads out into little little tendrils tendrils but ends up hurting you actually that one you can do do that please do that okay I'll try to do that one I'm shot excuse me granddaughter I'm sorry I'm just handing out these sir we're we're in the middle of a show here well I'm sorry I'm in the middle of something myself so take no sorry sorry we're doing a podcast do you know what a podcast is sir we're in the middle of a

fight spring scene in Obama you ever hear them yeah I've heard of them I don't get they don't mean they do that yeah that's serial add non he just went back to jail that's I don't believe in I thought he was guilty this is a podcast sir we're recording your yeah that's great I'm sorry I'll be out of your hair and wait a couple of seconds do I know you I don't know if you know me I'm Pudge listen I'm Pudge this is I'm looking for my two golden retrievers yeah remember me Scott Ackerman remember me you we you were out there on the East Coast I don't remember you in Medford you remember Medford no I'm from

Medford so I know that's where my dogs got lost so that was that was in August yeah okay great nice math okay I'm looking nice math yeah that was if you take a look at the minus August equals not today not interested in being part of this show okay well we're gonna take a quick look at these I'm going house to house these are Matilda these no flip it over oh wait these are their pictures but you just drew a stick figure of a dog enough to take figure that's a golden retriever that's two golden retrievers sweet Caroline and looks more like a rabbit and they come into America those are my two golden retrievers I haven't

seen them in a long time it's fucking serious business to me I'm not interested in being patty did you lose them out here I mean the last time I lost I lost them in Medford Massachusetts right and then we saw you up in in was it Rhode Island or no it's Portland part main yeah but I was all over the East Coast I've been I've been going house to house since then you see you've been to every house in between Maine and California I can't tell you I've been to every fucking house Scott I'm not that's not what I'm claiming and nobody said that you said that stop how many words in my mouth I I've been to I don't know

hundred millions I don't know hundreds of millions of houses probably hundreds of millions of houses that's why I ran out of flyers I'm grabbing whatever I can and drawing my dogs on the back of them I don't know that we've seen by the way this is I can spike minks and I can strike we would love if you find your dogs to bring them to our granddaughter I'd like me as a gift and buying your dogs with our granddaughter and bring the three of them to us you want me to combine my dogs with your granddaughter not molecularly not like my dog snip out our granddaughter track her down and bring her to us it's funny

you say that they hear our tendrils of our granddaughters hair clothes and so you know the word tendrils now I haven't found my dog before you had to take a couple tendrils to think about it ten once I learn a word I use it I use that shit tendrils my brother has a passive vocabulary which means he knows a lot of words but maybe hasn't said them out loud before and when I hear them they stick I get that I understand I've learned I've learned a few words lately till I learned name three hot dog hot dog you didn't know hot dog before what

were you eating at the ballpark what's that what were you eating at the ball park pretzel and which it had meat it was a hot dog filled pretzel would what he started saying is was it a straight meat pretzel no is what it would order don't bring up straight meat pretzels in front of our granddaughter it was a hot dog pretzel you've never had one of those how did you order it how did when you got to the front if you didn't know the word hot dog I said I'll take that pretzel and they said which one and I said the one with the pink inside and did they say that's a hot dog no they didn't explain it they

never explained do you know the guy next to me Gary shake his head and go whatever my business did he do that did he like do a circular motion next to his brain picture of a baseball with a screw and a plus sign that's right yeah he covered his base I mean it's apropos at a ballpark I guess listen yeah I'm not two other ones I don't want to argue with you two other words oh my two other ones yeah you didn't know hot dog F F avatar effervescence effervescence okay that's all right and what did you think when you were drinking ginger ale I just say to call it sweet probably golden juice what was the third why didn't you

call it ginger ale what do you order when you're on a plane I don't know what ginger ale means and avatar okay by the way when that came out in December I was so excited because I knew that would be the official wet day movie because it would last until what day and the way of water of course God it was long we sat through that movie you guys are film buffs right we love cinema we love cinema you should be on Scott hasn't seen at some point we should we absolutely are there any movies about granddaughters I'll find one don't worry this is Pudge's time I'm fine I'm just drawing out a new picture so this doesn't this I mean this

has wings this I mean yeah well in a lot of ways that that's a can't oh it's a red bull why are you drawing a red bull with wings on it I work for a new an agency and I on my spare time I'm trying to come up with new ads for red that's an old hat wait what do you have they already did this they have red bull has gives you wings yes yes it's a classic red boy are you kidding me the one thing I'm that's your one idea how'd you get the idea I saw something on TV I was like a little cartoon something like that what are you been up to Pudge I mean I know you're looking for nothing I've been working I've been trying to

work I gotta go back and forth so on the weekends I come and look for my dogs my fucking golden it's only doing on the weekends you visited hundreds of millions of houses I do it on the weekends but also periodically throughout the week okay oh got it three three four eight five seven hours a day yeah and my wife is pissed oh I didn't know you were married yeah Jenny Jenny Jenny big girl big girl how but how what does that mean I tall oh okay pretty much four three or three three eighty four three four three three eighty big girl that's that's not tall big girl drives a van yeah that custom-made van you know

that she hopefully they didn't custom-make the entire van just the seat no the whole thing's custom-made whole thing it's not even a technically a van it's attracted okay it's attracted that they had to put a tent or like a metal tent oh right but she loves it I support her I support her good well you love your wife I love her are you a wife guy would you love your curvy wife she is not curvy at all kind of a sphere just one big sharp as hell she's very corner oh really a square jacket edge yeah she where you know what do you call those things you put on hold it show you're touching your shoulders I think that's

why I said that no I'm sorry I had a itch yeah what's going on with your show what's going on why are you so itchy now I got some sort of bug a bug on your shoulder yeah you can see it's like burrowed in I thought there's one big bug kind of that's like a scarab beetle I can see you moving around everybody's like oh I love you they it looks like I'm a I'm a like a pirate with a parrot except I'm just a normal guy flesh with a fucking beetle on my it looks like a like a giant tattoo but no it's a real bug that's a real bug yeah geez it's like gnawing away in there too well I'm not gonna hear it you're chewing it's like

the click-click-click sound of its jaws just burped yeah excuse me it's polite at the very least if you gotta be that bug was brought up well yeah yeah it's it's it's been there for a while so we've had to kind of live a symbiotic relationship so what do you get I'm polite to it it'll be manners he learns manners okay it's been teaching me how to kill me cricket but it lives under your skin it's halfway in I've land and it teaches me manners it's easy like it gets mad it says I curse too much so I'm trying to learn how not to curse like watch what happens if I curse I let's watch what happens live all right oh fuck

huh oh yeah it's a little chunk of flesh just came out of your shoulder yeah yes that they choose every time I do something wrong with bad etiquette it choose a little piece of flesh and spits it right out in front of me yeah it's been it right and it didn't say excuse me that time well it's been it on my floor too it's in teacher mode okay it's in teacher mode so it's not gonna it's not gonna be polite when it's teacher mode engaged that's right listen so I've been busy my wife's driving around in a tractor with a metal tent and we're trying to do our best to find my dogs I don't want to bother you guys I feel

like the last time I saw you you gave your phone number out and a lot of people called you I I got a lot of it I got a lot of hints of where my dog might be well that's yeah I mean anyone mention a granddaughter no granddaughters but my numbers out there if anybody stay I want you to say it again yeah I mean you want people to but this is only if you see my two dogs sweet Caroline and the coming to America right by the way one's a female one's a male can you guess which one Caroline would be the female I would imagine wow I know it's a twist but my daughter had named him she didn't know at the time cuz she have a

good question this is I'm just realizing this right now but my daughter did go missing all right and I've never found her either but I'm not worried you never found your daughter never found my daughter but now you have a beetle living in your shoulder he's not doing well and you can't find your dogs and you said your wife drives around in a tractor with a metal tent this is tough and she's four three three eighty we're not looking good for us I know my name and I know my name okay we're good say our names this is a tough life for you it's been rough but again if you

want if you want to let me know if you see that daughter the granddaughter I'll let them know it's three one zero okay let me know if you see that's Pudge's number that's his that's his personal line that's my personal this is not a service right hotline no it's a hotline the voicemail his full it has been full for a while yeah ever since that last show you will not be able to leave a message but you can ask you can text you can text any pictures you can sign it up for other things on the internet you can enter it into you know you can probably do a reverse search and figure out an address yes yes yes people have done

that yeah that's what happened but people have called your parents too right people have called my parents it's good everything's going good it well you know the good thing is I have a beetle chewing off my shoulder and my wife stands by me yeah my wife good for Jenny standing by me happy wet day by the way yeah happy wet day I I don't know what the fuck how it well I don't know what wet day is well it's a new a relatively newer holiday your wet day why a wet day in college if you know what I mean I don't tell us we don't this is part of wet day we tell our wet day stories you tell the wettest story yeah we had a

wet day we had a wet day in college where you'd wake up in the morning you'd keep your pajamas on all day and you just drink beers from morning till midnight I could you could drink I mean your throat is wet so that's good but I don't know is that different this is the wettest story I've ever heard no you just drink it was it wasn't called wet day well no okay sure would you set an alarm to wake up to begin the beer drinking you would actually you would you doze off in the middle of the day nope no naps if you took a nap it canceled it oh you'd have to start over you have to start over yeah what if why

do you care about this well it's wet day we we tell our wettest stories okay well that's my I would say on a scale of one to wet that's a two that is that good how many numbers are in between yeah one and wet three so there's one two three wet yeah this is a two one two three wet five six seven oh you won one two three wet you got it that time one two three wet it's a tie this one right is that sweet Caroline oh okay you can tell cuz that's the that has a big dog genus by the way day low-tesk penis you've drawn longer than his legs gay kind of pogo sticking around on it there's some movement in the photo you

can see oh you could is that one of those holograms motion lines yeah they fuck constantly by the way they do the two of them yeah maybe they ran off together they want to be with you they don't want you watching them all the time well I mean if that's true that's fine lady in a tramp did you know with some spaghetti out lady and a tramp sure just one of the tramps that she could have engaged with right it's not more specific than that is it I just hope to happen if they're if they are out there I'd love somebody to tell me they're happy you must miss them I miss them daily we used because we used to

spend a lot of time together we used to how much time oh look 20 minutes a day well yeah or a minute at least I spent 20 minutes to get total lifetime yeah but it's very 20 minutes long did you have these dogs before they ran off I we had them for a long time 20 minutes no no no no no no no yeah I spent 20 minutes with them but I bet you they were 14 years old they were when did you get them combined combined yeah of course combined yeah seven each or one one eight and one six one was eight and one was six no sweet Caroline was eight was one nine or one was five no I know one was eight one was one and thirteen how

long did you have these dogs before they ran off 14 years 14 years 14 years why do you think I'm so I'm so these dogs meant the world to me they used to come to work with me meaning they weren't 14 years old you adopted them when they were 14 and 20 minutes later they ran off that's right that's right why do you miss them cuz I spent all my time I ever had with them together and then they ran off and I won't they didn't like you and I'm not gonna how do you know that how do you know they liked you they would have stayed at what if they got you love something set them free well if they come back to

you fucking great I want to hold on to them and but I did they I just I'm worried even around long enough for your wife and daughter to meet these dogs and by the way 20 minutes total so was it like 12 minutes with one of them eight minutes with the other I was trying to get them into my wife's tractor car with the metal tip with the metal tent and that's when they ran off that's when they ran off that's when we lost them so did they beat did my daughter meet them or did my wife meet them technically like I in terms of seeing them I spent any time with them any of the five senses now were these even what did you

even adopt them or were they just dogs you saw in someone else's yard and you tried to get them in your tractor with the metal 10 they weren't in somebody's no they were not in somebody else's yard they didn't they had they did have leashes on them but they wouldn't they were tied up to a bike to a bike rack outside of a Krispy Kreme and I I was worried about them and we had a connection something strong action was made a connection a connection was made yeah and I said I'll take care and they they looked at me like yeah let's do it but as soon as it doesn't sound like they look to you like no they looked at

me I could see in their eyes they were like the rest of our life is with you and they had each little what do they call those callers and they had names on them yeah what was in it with it with Caroline and it was okay yeah so you didn't name the dogs they came pre-named well I named him verbally what did say on the what did it say on the tags 14 years old today and then it gave the day here that's an expensive tag to get you're only gonna be able to wear it once a year so there were no names and once in your life no what's no they only were these ones no and I was 14 years old today and it was together well

technically I don't know I don't know if those were from that day Pudge no I gotta move on no I am moving on to the next house where I'm gonna try to find these talk about it talk about it talk about it you gotta move on yeah wise words no it means a lot like a lot of these houses I go up to and I'm asking for these dogs they don't they don't treat me with the respect you guys have treated me so I yeah I would doubt it I mean the only reason we're talking to you is you've been on the show before you lucked out here I swear to God by the way you got a great neighborhood oh yeah thanks so much

you enjoy it I really like your neighborhood your house is great I think you must be really proud of yourself I guess why what are you hinting at I just think it must be nice you can't stay here oh I mean it's hot where are you staying while you're out here I haven't stopped moving I don't stay I stay wherever I am Jenny we set up a little thing in the back of the tent the metal tent on the tractor where we can stay we go to Ralph's sort of like nomad land then is that what what's that oh it's a movie these guys are film buffs they can tell you nomad land it won the Oscar beautiful film beautiful film about a

lady who shits in a bucket probably one of the most beautiful films about that subject matter it is the last word on cinematic bucket shitting no more films need to be made I mean it's sort of an airsoft sequel to two girls one cup in a way wow we don't shit in a bucket we don't we don't do that Jenny is very clean just meticulous in the way she keeps that tractor okay good metal tent over it very clean but we are you know I don't know this place is pretty nice use like you stole those dogs and they ran off why not you stole those dogs why not just steal another dog oh wait wait wait I have two dogs oh why would you

bring that up I'm realizing that is this all along where's Jenny right now hey leave it alone have you been distracting me while Jenny steals my dogs whatever no don't hold on a second what do you do are you caught hey Jenny no it's bad no this isn't as good who she thought it was who do you think this was as good she thought oh no this isn't Derek ask who Derek is who is Derek no tell me who is Derek oh no oh why'd you think I was Derek trouble in paradise just yeah my dogs okay fine hey did you get oh he's okay with I don't care what you do with Derek I'm done talking about Derek stop talking about

Derek she's really rubbing in his face did you get the dogs or not why are you talking about there she's been fucking Derek the whole time she has she hasn't gotten my dogs you gotta get the dogs what can we tell Derek he's gotta wait the funny thing is he's the one who brought up there I don't want to talk to him don't put him on don't he's on the phone no hey Gary do you know Derek budge wait what are you doing with Jenny why are you here this is devastating budge's life is terrible the Beatles even listening the Beatles got a tiny phone of his own that's my wife where he's on an extension the Beatles talk is the

Beatles Derek Derek why don't you talk to my friend the Beatles the Beatles not Derek the Beatles talking to Derek yeah the Beatles talking to Derek his beatle language it knew it knew English when it said excuse me Beatles friends a friend with Derek or hey is he reaming him out what do you say Derek how do you feel about Derek a different beatle this is a beetle to beetle conversation put Jenny back on what do you mean you got a you want your beetle to talk to me three Beatles three Beatles in one household fine yeah I'll put him back on oh this is about to be how do I know it to him I don't know it to him

I just said him by mistake he might be misgendering his beetle I feel like I'm watching eight hours of Beatles talking to each other what is this anthology get back oh same thing it's not the same shit wait if I watched get back I didn't watch anthology if you watch get back we forgot this part of your personalities by the way how's your comedy going my phone your phone's out of juice I'm assuming my dogs are safe if your phone is out of juice because two Beatles were talking to each other thou shall not be a redneck oh my god if the Calvin Stripwoods were on they didn't say you

gotta laugh you right wow well that was a tough string of yeah listen to I you guys had to hear all that and now your dogs are safe okay I figured yeah you couldn't pull off a job I wouldn't want to take your dogs anyway they I know the pain that would cause yeah I'll find my dogs I will find my goddamn dogs good and I hope that people give you tips where to find them yeah I'm sure they will I'm sure like the day this comes out you're gonna have a yeah first time the numbers been on the free feed all right guys we're running out of time we only have time for one final feature on the show and that of course

my friends is a little something called plugs that was you can't plug what's been unplugged by Kid Wow and the sexually suggestives really beautiful and really beautiful at the end I love that fucking ending guys what are we plugging I can spike what do we have to plug here granddaughter the concept anyone's or just yours I was oh and her where about okay you want you want to plug her whereabouts yes yeah great yes yes any TV show is coming out in a couple of weeks that you yeah we've got a HBO Max oh HBO max amount of HBO that you can get most HBO you could possibly take it

to the max all right there's a show called the other two it's our favorite show our favorite show there are so many granddaughters involved so the making of this show I mean everyone is a granddaughter there's granddaughters both in front and behind the camera and we love all of them and it's the first maybe two episodes possibly three I have no idea maybe the whole thing on May 4th May 4th that's a Star Wars day that is Star Wars day and this season is mostly about Star Wars oh it is oh does do the characters carry lightsabers and all of this stuff all of the stuff the stuff all the extra props they had lying

around everything we used we used on the product not we they we are not of it we're the main two we're the main we don't have a show they're the other they're the other right well that's exciting yeah you got a big grand a website too there's also a podcast called exit 43 oh that has just come out maybe last week okay I don't know my 43 is enter only what did am I stupid for not no you're lucky okay and if you if you like watching things go to Paul lefthopkins.com slash video and if you like going to see things in person go to Paul lefthopkins.com slash live if you want to go to both of those sites go to

Paul lefthopkins.com all right how about Pudge what do you want to plug yeah I just want my I just want my dogs back that's all is I want my goddamn dogs back just your dogs and you want to plug your phone what's that phone number again yep that's 310-980-453 fucking call me yeah you're not gonna get through to me but text me if you can any pictures of you my dogs or your or your genitals you'll take that too right yeah definitely organs of generation definitely looking for a lot of dick pics and definitely looking for a ton of links I'm fishing for dick pics oh good and does the beetle have

anything it was yeah beetle you want to plug something oh really beetle oh you have a podcast wow beetle do you call it wow okay the interviews are a little bit longer beetle instead of like seven to nine minutes to people skip the 15 minutes at the top yeah they do okay awesome beetle all right beetle that'll do I want to plug of course the comedy bang bang book is coming out in just two weeks it'll be out I have a copy right here we've been flipping through it during the breaks and it's really good I hope people get it you can go to CBB world comm slash book or you can get it anywhere books are sold and we also have

a few live dates coming up next week we're gonna be in LA at Largo on April 19th doing a book release show and then we're in New York on the 24th and 25th those shows are sold out Largo I believe there's still some tickets and then I'm gonna be in Chicago at the Chicago Humanities Festival in conversation you can go to Chicago humanities org and finally a festival for humans finally enough ETS at other festivals this is a festival for humans so go check those out and get the book and I think you're gonna like it we want to make sure that we pre-order the book so the first week sales are through the old roof all right

here we go let's close up the old plug I'm stalling because it's loading close up the old plug bag take your key and turn it to the right and open up the plug bag when you're feeling really down and the road is right you've got to grab the key and turn it to the right when you want to make everybody free we're gonna hook it yourself and set the plug bag free you've got to open up the plug bag take your friends together and open it up you've got to open up the plug bag open up the plug bag when I open up the plug bag open yeah that was called Drew Tarver likes to open up the plug play by Matt Distodd

nice Matt how do you like that? that was good Matt well guys I want to thank you so much I mean what a special wet day I can spike how wet you gonna get today would you say? so big I'm gonna go sit in a hot tub while it rains absolutely housing water yeah you're gonna find somewhere it's raining because it's not raining here in California so I'm gonna go to the nearest cloud and I'm gonna get one of those inflatable sumo suits fill it up with water and jump into the Pacific Ocean

oh congratulations and Pudge what did you get? did you get them? Pudge? you get the dogs? you get the dogs? no I don't give a shit what Derek said just like no no I don't want to talk to Derek stealing dogs is so busted okay it's so 2019

I'm coming out no it's just three guys remember when they stole Lady Gaga's dogs I do I'll come up there and I'll grab one too are they good looking dogs? he's getting your dogs they're stupid dogs

so they're definitely your dogs hey double roasted just like the chickens I ordered last night no no no no leave the baby leave the baby the baby! we're shutting this down thanks for listening everyone we'll see you next week bye