Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Poppy Liu, Suzi Barrett, Matt Apodaca

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Actress Poppy Liu joins Scott to talk about her new film Space Cadet, moving back to China from Minnesota as a teenager, and her experience with a cult. Then, dinfluencer Donna stops by to talk about how to repurpose items around the house to make food dishes. Plus, wedding planner Ray Good drops by to talk about his honest wedding business.Get tickets for the Comedy Bang! Bang! Into Your Mouth Tour 2024 over at https://CBBWorld.com/tour

I'm gonna do it. Adrian Grenier is red. Kevin Dillon is blue, enhance my entourage, Jeremy Piven to you. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Cranky Panky for that catchphrase submission. I don't know if it's going to stick. I don't know that I want to say Grenier every single week. Am I even pronouncing it correctly? Grenier? Grenier? Grenier. Grenier. Grenier every single week. Am I even pronouncing it correctly? Gre- Grenier? Grenier?

Grenier. Grenier. Grenier. Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, cranky-panky, that one's out. The hunt continues for a new catchphrase, but welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, everyone. My name is Scott Aukerman and a very Jeremy Piven to all of us, as well as many Urkels to you,

many hamburgers. Uh, but, uh But am I speaking code? Do you understand anything that's happening right now? My mind was blown right before this, and so I'm still recovering. We have a pre-blown mind situation here. I would say a newly formed mind. Newly formed, yes, you're a new person right now.

Exactly, I am in infancy of the brain. We have a wonderful show today in addition to the person I'm speaking with, with whom I'm speaking, which I will introduce. Whom? Okay, whom. I dropped one whom. Okay, Scott, who hooms. I have never hoomed in my life. You've never hoomed? I don't know when to use it. From what I understand, it's every time. Okay, well. Instead of just saying who, always say whom. So who is not a real word? Who is for owls, my dear.

Whom are you? Oh, you're speaking about whom? Oh, that actually sounds perfect. That actually sounds amazing. But in addition to this person, I would love to introduce in just one second, we have, coming up a little later, we have a dinfluencer, I don't know what that means.

Dinfluencer. We'll ask about that certainly. We also have someone who works in the wedding industry. Very exciting, have you ever been married? Coveted, I haven't, but I do have in the safe in my closet of my house, a wedding ring that I bought off of an ex after I broke up with him. Does that count, Scott? Were you engaged or was it just he had this ring? Just around. Interesting.

Just around. And what is the combination of that safe, if you don't mind me asking? It is. One nine, just kidding. That's interesting, so it's in your closet, eh? Yes, Scott, but you don't know my address, Scott. Behind a painting?

Just kidding, oh my God, literally no one looked me up. Scott, actually don't introduce me. I wanna do this podcast anonymously. Okay, because so no one can rob you? No one will know who I am, and if you figure it out by my voice, well you're wrong, loser. I do have to introduce you

because you're just too good of a guest to not introduce. We're just too big of a fan of you. We, of course, you're just too good of a guest to not introduce. We're just too big of a fan of you. We, of course, you're joining the prestigious one-timers club here at the Comedy Club. I literally, I can't wait till I'm a two, if not five timer. I would love for you to be a five timer. Unfortunately, that means your career is doing

worse and worse because the one timers are all people like Ben Stiller, Donald Glover. Five times they have nothing else to do. They're begging, they show up at your house. They're like, Scott, please let me on. Come on, come on. Exactly. I think three is like, that's gentlemanly. You know what I mean?

Any more than three is like, what are you doing with your life? Three over the course of three decades. Yes, exactly. One per decade. God, if I'm still doing this in two decades. You better be, Scott, cause I'm gonna be here.

I would love to see that. She is the star of such shows as the after party, season two. Season two. Season two. People watch it, they're like, you weren't in it. I'm like, this is like season two. You gotta keep watching to season two.

It's an ensemble cast that is an anthological. Anthological. Heard of it, anthology. Yes. Whom heard of it. She is in shows like Hacks on Macs. Hacks on Macs. Hacks on Macs. I'm gonna ASMR everything.

Yes, the streaming service that only does shows that rhymes with their own name. Hacks on Macs. Hacks on Macs. Hats on Hacks on Macs on Cats. Hats on Cats. You know, did you see that movie Cats? I did, unfortunately I did.

A few of them had hats. You know, I didn't, I think I was so troubled watching it because it seemed like, I just, I didn. Unfortunately, I did. A few of them had hats. You know, I didn't, I think I was so troubled watching it because it seemed like, I just, I didn't like, everyone's covered in fur. You clearly have the budget to make everyone look like a cat texturally. Why do some of them have boobs? Human boobs. Boobs in the human position, not in the cat position. Like, some of them have a human butt still. I gotta ask, where are the boobs on cats?

Are they on the back or something? They're like 18 boobs. Whoa. Yeah, Scott. Looks like both of us are learning something today. I learned whom, you learned about boobs on cats. So I have info as well. I think that a couple of them had hats,

if I'm not incorrect, but I feel like they were trying to stay away from the cat in the hat thing. You know what I mean? I did it honestly, if they had hats, it was the last thing on my mind. I feel like every time someone came in, like Idris Elba came in wearing a hat, and then he would quickly take it off and go, uh-uh, not that guy that you're thinking of. Maybe that was the bit, maybe. But unfortunately, all of the jokes and bits,

again in that movie, went over my head because I was too... Just too looking at their bodies. Yes, I was too busy objectifying. They were like, there was like a Twitter or something where someone was like, it felt like they were in the middle stage of the Animorphs transformation. Yes, remember the black and white video where Michael Jackson turned into like a panther? It was like in the middle.

I don't remember that. You don't remember the black and white video? Unfortunately, I don't. All right, I'm gonna bring it up here. Never watched TV in my life. You've never watched TV? Something about me is that I work in TV and I've never watched a minute of it. Really? never watched TV? Something about me is that I work in TV and I've never watched a minute of it.

And so I'm really just guessing what's out there. So when you act in a show and I'll introduce you in a second, are you just wondering like, what is this even for? What is this even for? Where does this go once I do it? What are we pretending to do? What is this charade?

And then people like me watch them and they go like, oh yeah, she's great. And you're like, how has anyone ever heard of me? Yes, I'm like, Scott, how do you know me? She has a new movie coming out. That's right, a film. Film. A film coming out this week, I believe on-

Cinema, if you will. I believe on 4th of July. 4th of July. Spend your Independence Day watching it. Stream it. Over and over again. Yeah, do a watch party with friends. It's coming out, it's on Amazon, but it's an MGM movie called Space Cadet.

Yes, Space Cadet. Coming out this Thursday, I believe, maybe you can watch it on Wednesday if you're on a certain time zone, who knows. Oh yeah, if you're in like Brussels. Yes, if you're in Brussels. Tour, Brussels audience, lucky you. Love your sprouts. Yeah, thank you. Oh, you have been St. To our Brussels audience, lucky you. Love your sprouts. Yeah, thank you.

Oh, you have been St. Petersburg. Lucky you, you can watch Space Cadet seven hours earlier. I don't know where St. Petersburg is. They only made sprouts, right? They didn't do anything else of note. That's it, that's it. Brussels, yeah, that's it. Did they make beer too?

You know, I feel like all of the European countries did. They all make beer, right? They all love, they love to ferment. They're all like all of the European countries did. They all make beer, right? They all love the, they love to ferment. They're all like, that's so shitty here. We make beer, just take our minds off of it. Yes, they can't stop colonizing and they can't stop making beer. They're like, after we colonize a new territory,

let's make another IPA. Poppy Leo is here! Hi, that's me, yes. Did I pronounce that correctly? I tried. You did, yeah. Okay, Leo, Leo. It has a bit of? I tried. You did, yeah. Okay, Leo. Leo.

It has a bit of a more of like a flick at the end. Leo? Oh, like a question mark? Like a softer, Leo? Leo. Like you're kind of like softly opening a door into the future self of... Leo.

Actually better, actually better now that you did that, Leo. It was like an air hatch. Scott famously speaks Mandarin fluently. Yeah, fluently. I don't like to trot it out on this show all that much, but the translation- I was going to say we should do the rest in Mandarin. Obviously, we are translated in every language. Every.

I do the Mandarin one. Yes, yes, yes. Myself. Which the fans love. They love it. I do every single character, I mean, real person. You do so amazingly in the States based on the fact that your primary audience is mainland China. That's right.

Yeah. I mean, that's the thing is like, you know how Marvel always puts one scene set in China in their movies? You know, it's like- You're like the opposite. Your whole movie is in China. You've got the one scene- Yeah, my whole thing.

Everything is in China. We've never discussed that. We're actually in China right now. Yes, we're very China coded. I'll say, yeah, something about your voice, everything, it's giving China. It's giving dynasty. Thank you. Speaking of which. It's giving middle kingdom.

The little kingdom, is that what they call it? Middle, middle. Oh, middle. Okay, I was gonna say, it's very. The little kingdom. It's very emasculating to call it the little kingdom. Little tongue in cheek. Speaking of which, you were born in China, were you not?

I sure was. And then you moved to? Minnesota. Where my wife is from. No. Yes. I love her. What town?

I love her already. Like many, many, many different places around the Twin Cities. We couldn't stop moving. Obsessed with it, yes. My wife's from Eagan. I know about it. Do you?

Yes, I know her, Eagan. And tell me about the Mall of America. How much time did you spend there? Every time I go back to visit Minnesota, which is once every three years now, that's the only place I wanna go. Really? Mall of America, I love it.

You ever get in that? Mall of America raised me. I was born in the Mall of America and I was raised in the Mall of America. My wife worked at Hulk Hogan's Pasta Mania. That is amazing. In the Mall of America. My wife worked at Hulk Hogan's Pasta Mania. That is amazing. In the Mall of America. That's hot. Yeah.

And that's why you fell in love with her. That is exactly. You ever go on the Flume ride there? Have I. Of course you have. Who am I talking to? I was born on the ride. Were you really?

Oh my God. My mom wanted to labor on the ride even though I was born in China, but you know the thing about Mall of America is that it's very transnational. It's international waters there on the ride, even though I was born in China, but you know, the thing about all of America is that it's very transnational. It's international waters there on the flume rides. So you immediately flew to China and that's where you got your citizenship.

Exactly, something that people don't really know is that within the law of America, there's that. It has its own national flag. You can commit crimes on that ride alone, but once you're off. Yeah, you ever go to the bowling alley there? No. Should I be talking about your work instead of this? No, I wanna, this once you're off. Yeah. You ever go to the bowling alley there? No. Should I be talking about your work instead of this?

No, I wanna, this is actually the content, this is my niche of the world. My niche of the world is that I'm very Chinese and I'm also really specifically Midwestern. Yeah. Like I'm a bit of a hick. The cross section of that, yeah. In like a hot way, hips are hot.

How long were you in Minnesota because then you moved back to China, did you not? I was there from two to 14, which I feel like are really formative years for your personality and for maybe how you speak. I was there long enough to like, we were like smoking salvia in the corn fields. I was waiting to be doing that.

I didn't know it was Sylvia. I didn't know. You know, the statute of limitations is not up, so I'm going to have to refer you to the authorities. Okay, right. This is a live podcast. I get arrested right after I leave. Scott loves to arrest people. Oh, it's kind of a cop. Scott, very not cool of you, Scott. Yeah, Scott. Literally. The narc father. Scott, quit, Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott. Very not cool of you, Scott. Biggest narc. Biggest narc, literally. The narc father.

Scott, keeping a narc. So you go back to China then. Yes. And how is that for you? Is it, because you don't remember it, I'm sure. It's shocking, it's shocking. I go back to China when I'm 14 to Shanghai. We had just become US citizens the year prior,

and my dad's company sent us back as expats, which basically meant like suddenly, like we were just living kind of a very regular Midwestern. My parents were like slowly doing well for themselves as immigrants and then boom, this thing happens. And then once you're an expat, it's like, have you seen the show XO Kitty? I haven't.

It rocks. Okay, let me write that down. XO Kitty. XO Kitty, I feel like it's like, have you seen the show XO Kitty? I haven't. It rocks. Okay, let me write that down. XO Kitty. XO Kitty, I feel like it's right up your alley. It's about this young kid, grew up in an international school, and it's very much like that, where all of my friends were kids of diplomats.

Their parents were in the triads. So your parents, how did they feel about it? Because they hadn't been there in 12 years either? It's true. Well, I think it was like, when we were there, when I was born there versus when we went back again, we were in such a class, we were in a different class by that time.

So I bet it was a huge culture shock for them. Being like a dick teenager, I don't think I asked them how it was for them. I was just like, oh, God. Why do we have to do this? Why do you have to do this? I'm gonna miss my skateboarder boyfriend in Minnesota, Tad. Did you have Tad as a boyfriend?

And you had to break up? Where's Tad now? I talk about Tad a lot on so many different things. I'm surprised Tad hasn't reached back out to be like, Poppy, what? Could Tad actually reach you if he was to reach out? He actually has. We saw each other at a friend's wedding a couple years ago, and Tad said that he loved me.

And I said, I love you too, Tad. What's Tad up to these days? I don't know. I think he maybe was breaking bad a little bit in New Mexico for a while. I could have had a different life, Scott. I could have been Tad's wifey. Isn't that interesting that all these things

that happen to you when you're young, that you think like, ah, this sucks, why do we have to do this? It all leads you to right here. It all leads me to right here, yes. My first heartbreak with Tad led me to here. Yeah, to this podcast. To this podcast specifically.

In my life, there's before this podcast and there's after this podcast. You're a new infant, of course. Yes. So you, and then you start doing theater there and dance, is that right? I actually, ironically, I started doing Chinese dance in Minnesota from age five to 14.

And when I moved to actual China, I stopped doing Chinese dance. Interesting. Because there it's just called dance? I guess. Well, because I think in China, you can't really do anything. These are old jokes. I apologize. It's really good. They're really good, Scott. I had to suppress my laughter for that one. Okay. I feel like the entire audience suppressed something.

Because there it's just called dance? Scott, you are a dad. And I think that it's a really good and important dad joke category. Thank you very much. You're leaning into. Yes, I appreciate that. So you also are a poet. Kind of, maybe. Do you still write?

I like the phase. Yeah. I go through the phase. Does everyone go through this phase when they're in their early to mid 20s, they just moved to New York City, they're doing experimental naked physical theater downtown, working, tending bar and doing puppetry for babies and also hosting underground queer cutie pock poetry storytelling events?

I think so. I mean, yeah. That's familiar to me. That's a bit of a cliche kind of like, right? Yeah. We all do that. It's familiar to me. That's a bit of a cliche kind of like right of path. Yeah, we all do that between like 20 and 25. Yeah, and you actually kind of join a call for a little,

actually, you know that I was scouted by Nixxiom? Really? Yes. Tell all, dish sister. They brought me, one of my friends got into like, I mean, kind of got in far. Was in like basically the genesse part of it. Which you may know is like the

sex trafficking. Wow. And that friend who like, okay, bless her heart. I think she was later on one of the whistleblowers and like, you know, got herself out too. But at that time she was like, pop, you want to come with me to like my friend's dinner, backyard dinner in Brooklyn. I was like, yeah, sure. I go, it's literally Alison Mack. Wow. Yes. And you're thinking this is just Chloe from Smallville.

Literally, well, I didn't even know that because I don't watch TV as you know. Oh, that's right, yes. But it was like, it was just a table full of people. And then like, I was like, oh my God. And I'm like 23 or 24. And so like, you know, no one, no one does anything nice or fancy.

So I was like, oh my God, this like spread, like, oh, I'm gonna eat so much. Haha. And then they made everyone go around and like share their trauma. And I was like, what? I was like, I didn't sign up for this. But I thought it was so clever. They got to me and I was like, I was like, I'm not gonna let you get me. And they're like, Okay, I'm like, what are you working on right now? And I was like, honestly, I feel amazing. And I was like, honestly, I feel amazing. I was like, honestly. Just had a really good meal.

I rock and this rocks and honestly, no notes. And they were like, no, no, but like, if you dig deeper, what's there? And I was like, oh, still good, still rocks. I was like, haha, I'm so clever. Well, I mean, you ended up not being in the cult from what I can guess. Kind of. But kind of? Yes, because then I was like, I thought I dodged not being in the cult from what I can guess but kind of kind of yes Cuz then I was like I thought I dodged that one. But then meanwhile, I was a kind of in like a cult-ish relationship

What does that mean? But I didn't see that, you know, it's like the same guy with the ring. It's the formative No, that's different guy. Okay, surprisingly No again and sort of that cliche right of passage thing I was you know We all also accidentally date a diet cult leader who like, if he was better at being a cult leader, I think it would have been worse for me, but he wasn't that great at it. So he could never get the cult off the ground. So when you say a diet cult leader, meaning he was not great at it, like diet soda is

not great at it, or he was a cult surrounded or about diets. Oh, the former, the former. Okay, got it, got it. The former, former, yeah, yeah, like the team-oo of cult leaders, if you will. Yes, so I mean, yeah, you know, he just, he could have been a more problematic cult leader, but he just couldn't get the cult leader.

Just couldn't do it, right, yeah. But it was enough to still like kind of mess with me in my life for like two years, moved to Brazil with him for a little bit. Moved to Brazil. As we all do, Scott. Your life is crazy. Scott, as we all do, okay.

I gotta see a biopic of you. When we were all 25, we all moved to Brazil and were estranged from our family and friends for three months at a ton of ayahuasca. Realized that we had to come back, got out of the relationship to tour our abortion story. And then like, I mean, we all had to go through that to get onto your podcast.

This was your play? Is that the abortion story? What was it? My abortion story, it was actually the first film thing I ever did. Yeah, film thing. Everyone's like, oh, like, I wanna just start doing TV film. And I'm like, huh, when did I?

I was doing the puppetry I was doing. Oh yeah, my abortion story was the first. It want to just start doing TV film. And I'm like, huh, when did I? I was doing The Puppet Show, I was doing, oh yeah, my abortion story was the first. It was like a crowdfunded short film. I like did like a self-produced tour of it, mainly to college campuses, talking about like reproductive rights, et cetera. And then anyways, now I do TV, ha ha! Well, I gotta see a biopic of you.

And of course it would end with you being in space cadet triumphant Climactic scene yes in space at space cadet. I saw this film yesterday and You are an interesting fact about this film you are pregnant during it I am and that is written into the character It's not like I love Lucy where you have like a basket of laundry in front of you the entire time I'm actually seven months pregnant and um I wasn't supposed to be pregnant. I was cast in it by Liz Garcia, our wonderful writer-director, like a year prior to even getting pregnant. Production kept getting pushed as it does. By the time they locked the dates in,

I just kept having sex. I just kept having unprotected sex. Couldn't stop doing that. These two facts coincided. Yes. As production, as they were figuring out the budget for Space Cadet, I was having so much unprotected sex. And so finally, those two things coincided where they locked on the dates and I was seven months pregnant. I was going to be. And then so, you know, as it happens, I was like, oh, they might have to recast it. It might, you know, the, but Liz was like, no, it's like, I want you, you are this character. I love you. I'm gonna just rewrite the character to be pregnant now.

So just rewrote it to be pregnant. And so I'm just pregnant the whole time. Yeah, it was that easy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like, I think there's some roles where you like can't easily rewrite the person to be pregnant. Well, there's- But this one-

There's my upcoming movie, The Non-Pregnant Woman. The Non-Pregnant Woman, yes. And that one, they had to make you not pregnant. Unfortunately, I'm really limited in who I can cast for that one. So tell me about this movie. It stars Emma Roberts. Obviously, you don't have to tell me because I've seen it, but it stars Emma Roberts. It's akin to like a legally blonde set at NASA. Definitely, very, very yes.

It's very, very yes. It's like a dumb shit in one way. It's like there was an era in our like, yeah. So it's like, it's a person that you didn't expect doing a really, really smart thing. And it's Emma Roberts character who's going to NASA. But the setting for our life pre NASA is that we're just Florida girls. We're just two Florida gals, um, tending bar. My character has like a makeup line. Emma Roberts, wrestlers, alligators, unprotected sex. Yes. As I do. And, um, Emma Roberts has dreams to go to NASA.

My character is totally fine. I, my character loves having babies. I just do. Your character doesn't really have dreams necessarily as you've achieved your dreams. I've achieved my, yes. And you know, and this is, I love this about her. I love people who just like, they want a really basic life and they get it and they're so happy with it. I have a lot of respect for that and I think that's this character. She's really, she doesn't want

to leave Florida. She wants to have her babies. She wants to do her nails. She wants to have her makeup line and she's happy with that. She does not want to go to NASA. It's not making all of us want to go to NASA. Some of us don't. And your character assists Emma Roberts' character in one sense of unbeknownst to Emma Roberts. Committing fraud. I commit fraud. Yes, you commit fraud. I commit government fraud, yes. You change the application in order to make her seem a little more, like she's achieved more.

More equipped. More equipped to be in NASA, which she is not equipped at all. But you know what? I think that we all deserve a best friend who's willing to commit fraud for us. And if you don't have one, then none of your friends are real ones. Now I've seen this movie and unfortunately, it doesn't end with everyone in jail, yourself included. Well, you don't know.

All I've seen, no, I've seen the movie. I don't wanna spoil it necessarily, but I would prefer when someone commits fraud like this to see the cuffs being put on them and then led away to jail. No, and you know what? This film is really abolitionist in that sense. This film, I think at its core is saying no to prisons.

I think Justin, like 60 minutes in, just slap the cuffs on all the main characters. Again, the theme is that Scott is a narc. Lead them right into the electric chair. Scott has a narking kink. A kink for coughs. And the legal system. It's a very funny comedy. And our unjust legal system and the prison. Hey, be cool. It's a very funny comedy. It comes out on Independence Day. You can celebrate the birth of America. We're almost at the 250th year of America. You know, that's oftentimes where in one empires fall,

you know that? Yeah. So. We'll see. We'll see what happens. You gonna go back to China? Maybe. If something happens.

Why not? Yeah. Yeah, where else? Do you have a- Or the international waters of Mall of America. Yes. We'll just hole up in the Mall of America. Yeah, that's probably where I would go.

I feel like- Yeah, Donna the Dead style. Mall of America will be the we'll just hole up in the Mall of America. Yeah, that's probably where I would go. I feel like- Yeah, Donna the Dead style. Mall of America will be the first to liberate itself from the, yeah. Yeah. It's gonna say- It'll be the first to secede from the union. Yes. Yes, just within the walls of the Mall of America.

Yes. Not parking lots, there's an IKEA outside. Plenty of anything you need there. Not the IKEA, it's just the Mall of America. Sorry, IKEA, if you wanted in on this, you gotta get inside. Gotta get inside them, I gotta connect yourself. That's right. Although maybe they'll build'm a purist. Sorry, Ikea. If you wanted in on this, you gotta get inside. Gotta get inside them. I gotta connect yourself.

That's right. Although maybe they'll build a bridge. Maybe they'll build a bridge. And this is my platform. I'm building bridges, not walls. This guy is building bridges. Although we are willing to build a wall. Now he's trying to rebrand.

Now he has me on the podcast. He's trying to rebrand in real time. I will build a wall if enough people want it. We see through that. You can't stop saying your anarchy things. Now he's like, we're bridge building. Turn down the walls. Space Cadet is out this Thursday.

We have to take a look at the space. We have to take a look at the space. We have to take a look at the space. We have to take a look at the space. We have to take a look at the space. We have to take a look at the space. We have't stop saying your anarchy things. Like now he's like, we're bridge building, tear down the walls. Space Cadet is out this Thursday. We have to take a break. Poppy, do you want to stick around because we have something called an influencer coming up. Do you know what this is?

I need to find out. Yeah, I need to find out. Also someone in the wedding industry, and this will give you some good tips if you ever plan on getting married. Maybe, I don't know. You got that ring. I got the ring, yeah, I got the ring.

You know what I mean, you're halfway there. Just throw a party, yeah. You know what I mean? You're halfway there. Just sign some legal documents. Yeah, exactly. All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll have more Poppy Lou.

We'll have more Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Poppy Lou is here. Hey. And Space Cadet is the movie. You know, I had a friend who was working on,

do you remember in the 90s, there was a movie called Rocket Man starring Harlan Williams, and all about a guy who shouldn't be an astronaut, he becomes an astronaut. And my friend who was working on the movie came and said, hey, we have to change the title because there's another movie already called Space Cadet.

And so he had like, he said- Wait, in the 90s, there's already a movie called Space Cadet. I guess so whatever happened for a legal reason, they had to change the movie. And he was like, if any of you come up with a better name for it, I'll give you like 50 bucks. It's called it was called Space Cadet. It was called Rocket Man. It ended up being called Rocket Man because Space Cadet was already taken. Well, clearly they lost their rights. And then I watch your movie, I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? I know, and that proves that Amazon has more money than your friend's movie.

Yeah, Jeff Bezos. Jeff, Jeff single-handedly. One thing about this movie is that Jeff Bezos. Was he there on set every day? Every day, you know the thing is he loves to have, he's really hands-on with all of his rent ventures. I would imagine, yeah. Yeah, he was really there, he was looking at every shot,

he was like, one more take. Making people take breaks, peeing in bottles. One more take for a shot, yes. Yeah, we didn't have bathrooms and that was something that was hard. That's all right. I could tell because everyone in the middle of every scene is kind of like holding their belly and bouncing up and down. Yes, my water breaks on camera. That's part of the movie.

Every scene in the middle of it, someone goes like, I got to go and just takes off in the middle. It's a very interesting film. You scene in the middle of it, someone goes like, I gotta go. And just like takes off in the middle. It's a very interesting film. You gotta see this. Very interesting. We need to get to our next guest. And they're a dinfluencer. I gotta know what this is.

Please welcome for the first time on the show, Donna. Oh, hi, Scott. Thanks for having me. Hey, it's my pleasure. I think we're getting hung up on the name. It's just kind of a silly name I made up. I like to empower people to make dishes for dinner that maybe they think are too complicated.

We're getting right into your thing, my God. Oh, sorry. I mean, hey, take it relax. I was born in Mall of America. Oh my God, I'm kidding. Same doctor. This is Poppy, by the way. Nice to meet you.

Hi, Donna. You sound like a trad wife. What's that? You know about trad wives? I don't. Like, you know, Nara Smith on TikTok. She's always like, she's like this model, Mary did this other model and every day she's like,

today my husband was craving bubble gum and we ran outside, so I decided to make some from scratch. Is trad short for traditional? Yes. Oh, interesting. This sounds like someone I would want to be friends with. Laura Smith. Look her up.

I'm sorry to interrupt your thing. No, that's okay. We got as far as dinner, but I just felt like you... Ball of America. I got stimulated also. It was so quick. I was trying to process. Let's take it a little bit at a time.

Yeah, I felt bad for you because I don't know what Dinfluencer is. I was white as a sheet. White as a sheet. Yes. Yes, so I like to post videos that can help people make things out of what they have laying around or repurposed food scraps or things like that. I see for dinner this.

Sure, yeah, any meal or summertime is upon us. So the potluck dish. That's a great point. What's the dish of the summer? You know, I think it's gonna be a homemade, homemade ice cream fruit roll. And it's real simple. Okay, tell me more.

Well, next. Let me ask, okay, so what is an ice cream fruit roll? I don't know that I've ever, a fruit roll is a... Sort of like a fruit roll up or a fruit by the foot. Oh wait, actually Donna's actually so right. That is actually the meal, because I have a 15 year old sister who is like very Gen Z. You have a 15 year old sister.

So your parents were also having unprotected sex at a certain point. I guess so. Wow. Runs in the family. Yes, and we're 18 years apart. So, you know, they were really interesting. Yes, it runs in the family.

And that's something about having kids, is that you gotta have unprotected sex to have kids. Not me, I went to the doctor for that. I went to a little room. Not me. I did it in a club. I went to a little room, and then we implanted it in a stranger.

You know what they do? We got rid of all that messy stuff. If you pay extra, they give you a big room. I found that out. Oh, really? If you just tip the guy at the door? You gotta tip the doorman, stuff. If you pay extra, they give you a big room. I found that out. Oh, really? If you just tip the guy at the door? You gotta tip the doorman, yeah. The doorman, man.

Yeah, for the baby making. He was not doing his job because, like, he just let anyone in there. Really? Yeah, in the middle of it. I'm just like- In the middle of it. In the middle of my business.

Of the consumption. I'm like, dude, part of your job is, like, to bar the door while this is happening. I don't know. While I make a baby with this magazine that I'm. Me and the magazine are the baby's parents. Yeah. Yes, and the baby loves the magazine.

Great parent, yes. So I'm sorry, so a fruit roll up with ice cream? So picture this, it's so cool and refreshing, but also very healthy. And the next time you have a pineapple, don't throw away the husk. Okay. What you're gonna do is-

What can you do with it, yeah. Well, you're gonna roll it out on a piece of cardboard or several pieces of cardboard taped together. You're gonna lay it out in the sun to cure for about four days. Okay. It's gonna get nice and dry, but not too dry. You're gonna roll it up.

You're gonna tie it with some pastry strings and put it in your oven. Now you're going to finish the drying process in there. And in the meantime, you're going to make some ice cream. Okay. You're going to make your own ice cream. That's right. It's very easy. How do you do it?

I used to have like a churn thing. Nope. Nope. Nope. Wrong Scott. Okay. Sorry. Nope, wrong Scott. Oh, okay, sorry. That's smart. Gone are the days.

You can do this all with things you have laying around the house. Oh, how do you make ice cream? You're gonna grab a fistful of tapioca raw, and you're gonna throw it into a mortar and pestle, or you could use a coffee grinder. We famously have tapioca. You're gonna make a fine powder out of that.

Now you're gonna put that powder into a cheesecloth and you're gonna strain the parts. So now you have sort of a curds and whey situation. You're gonna take the heavier of the two parts, mix that with some jelly pectin. Now you're gonna put that in a layered jar, leave it in the sun on the front porch where it gets plenty of sunlight, okay? Then you're gonna top it with some honey

and that's gonna finish the curing process. Where do I get the honey? You're gonna- From your bees, Scott. From your bees. You're gonna find your local bees. Local bees. You're gonna- You're gonna mate a bunch of bees.

Okay. You have to, yeah. So I have to find bees of two different genders and put them together? Yes, you do. That's bonus points. Yes, you do. That's bonus points. Yes, you do. If you can do that, hats off to you. And Donna's bug. I find pre-mated ones.

I do. Oh, you do. I do. And you can see the ones that are hanging out in a group. You can follow them home. So it's like a bee orgy, is that what you're saying? Sure, yeah, you can always see, you feel the vibe in the air. Bee orgy, that sounds like what Arnold Schwarzenegger says to all of the women he dates.

Be orgy. Yes, it does sound like that. Right? Doesn't it? That's the Austrian pickup line, yes. So, yes. Sorry that I'm interrupting so much. No, that's okay.

What I love about this recipe is that it famously is all ingredients that people really have laying around in excess. That's right. That's right. I love that. Now you're gonna get some coconut milk fat. Okay, how do I get that? Well, from a coconut. You can hammer it out, not too hard now.

Use a jeweler's mallet and be nice and soft about it. Roll it up in some burlap okay and do it that way now if you have like a salt and sugar brine you can brine it if you don't I would evaporate some pickle juice over about a course of a month how do I evaporate it I put it in a distiller or you can make a distiller. You know, if you can encourage a mouse to not way through a pool noodle, put a little peanut butter on the end and it'll tunnel through. But wouldn't it just go to that end? What do you mean? Well, like if you put peanut butter at the end and why does it start at the far end? Oh, it thinks it because it gets

the taste of the peanut butter. So you got to put it at both ends? It starts at the peanut butter end. It starts at the peanut butter end. But it doesn't know when to stop. Oh, I see. Because it keeps tasting the peanut butter. Should I give them a little peanut butter at the other end? You know, it would be a nice reward, wouldn't it? Or make some sprinkled throughout,

like knife some peanut butter into the middle of the middle. It would be a nice reward. It would be nice to me, right? But it's not necessary? Not necessary. Got it. Any frozen fruit scraps you have laying around, I have freeze all my fruit scraps. Don't compost them. You can use all these parts. Right.

You're gonna- The banana peels? All of them. Got it. Now for banana ice cream, you're gonna go ahead and zest that banana peel. Got it. Just the insides. The outside you can use as a serving scoop. Okay. And now you're gonna put this all together. Now this will take about three and a half weeks. Okay, and how many does it serve? Two. Two. Two small children.

Oh, two small, or one regular size child? Sure, yeah, one large child and two small children. Two small, like undernourished. Oh, okay, yeah. Two undernourished children is, okay. Yeah, two undernourished children is about right. Right, okay. I only have one just probably regular size. Okay, well they'll have a ball with this.

Oh, great. They'll have a ball. Okay. You're gonna roll up the ice cream. Remember that pineapple husk we put in your oven a month ago? Oh, could I forget? Left it on a sort of a jerky setting. No, it's good. It's okay.

Okay, we don't have to worry. The oven is on the whole month. That's right. On a jerky setting. I got it, I. It's okay. We don't have to worry. The oven is on the whole month. That's right. I got it, I see, I see. And we take that out and it's gonna gently roll open. Don't rush it. Okay. It'll break and you'll have to start over.

How long am I rolling this? What do you mean? Well, meaning like number of minutes, number of. Oh, no, a slow roll, 90 minutes to unfurl this. 90 minutes to unfurl, okay. Do I furl it ever? You're gonna furl it with your jeweler's twine. Is that another 90?

That's a 90 going in and a 90 coming out. So that's round trip, hour and a half. About, so I can just... No, sorry, round trip, three hours. Three hours, I can just throw on the Godfather. Sure, easy. Not the Godfather part two, that would be three and a half hours.

That would be insane. Then you go on too slow and then you risk that it's gonna congeal and it's gonna not hold the ice cream. You're gonna have to start over. Got it, got it. But yeah, then you put the ice cream in the middle. You gotta eat it right away. Cause it'll melt.

Oh, how quick? Within the minute. Oh, okay. So everyone has to be ready. That's right. So it's like a three hour process once we get to the month and a half church process. Yep.

And you have to eat it within 30 seconds. And you have to eat it within 30 seconds. Dish of the summer, Scott. You'll be the most popular guy in your house when you give back to your child. This is not what I thought when you first said fruit roll up ice cream. Yeah.

And I like this sounds better, more convenient and tastier. Thank you. And free. And free. And free. It's free once you, because you've already bought all these other things. So it's free.

Yeah, yeah, that's so great. I mean, it sounds like, say, this is a silly question, but say I didn't have any of these materials. How much am I spending on all of this just to get there? I mean, ballpark 800 or so. A lot of these are specialty items, but the good news is you can substitute with anything. You got dental floss, that can be your twine. Use dental floss even better because now you've used it twice. You've maximized. Right. What about the jeweler's hammer?

Well, you can fashion one of those. You got deer hooves you can scavenge? I guess, yeah, I could probably come across some of those. Those snap off real easy once the... From the deer? From the deer. Once the vultures and the ants have gotten to the carrion, you can snap it. You can give it a nice fist chop. And now you're really helping out nature because that deer is being used in every part. Right, yeah.

What do the ants do once you've chopped it off? Well, they've already softened some of the outside tissue. Because they're interested in the flesh, right? That's right. Yeah. Most of them, some ants are vegetarian. You can tell, yeah. You can tell.

You can tell. Those are the, you know. Those are the ones kind of like setting themselves apart from the other ends. Yeah, they look at your picnic all judgy and they go, oh, you have jerky at your picnic. They're famous, they really body shaming. That's right.

Oh my God. I hate when an ad body shaming. How did you get involved in all this? I mean, is this something you've been doing ever since you were young? I love to eat, Scott. Really? But I don't have a lot of money. And I realize I can just be easily reproducing this.

Why do I got to go spend inflation prices to get a meal at your cafe gratitude or something when I can make pine needle soda in a jar while I'm sitting on the toilet, you know, and it's done before I know. Pine needle toilet soda? Well, I'm on the toilet, the soda's in my kitchen. But I gotta imagine some of that toilet stuff gets into the soda. Toilet stuff gets everywhere. You own a Blacklight, Scott?

Of course. Sure, yeah. I spent $800 on that alone. Yeah, tell me about it. Well, why don't you pull a date line and flip that on sometime and tell me toilet stuff doesn't get anywhere. Listen, I me about it. Well, why don't you pull a date line and flip that on sometime and tell me toilet stuff doesn't get anywhere. Listen, I wanna empower you.

I wanna let you know an easy recipe. What's something that you like to eat in the summertime? In the summertime? Yeah, I love a nice hot dog. Oh, sure. That's, July 4th is coming up. I'm gonna watch Space Cadet, eat a hot dog you go. You know, hot dog, you know? Right, on your way to your Fourth of July movie

set up with your friends, swing down to your local wetlands, bring your pocket knife, lop off the top of six or seven cattails, okay? Okay, just the tops? Cattails. Just the tops, that's gonna be your hot dog. That's not a, that's not the tail of a cat?

I believe that's what you're talking about, right? I'm talking about, yeah, not the live animal. Not the live animal. No, no, no, okay. Although somebody probably has that as their number one snack, that's not my bag in particular. Oh, I see. So when you're talking about cat tails,

what are you talking about? The weeds, the reed of weeds. Oh, I see, okay. Where they got the brown top, it looks real fuzzy. It is fuzzy. Be hard to eat if you left it like that. You're going to dip it in canoopa wax and jojoba oil. And what you're going to do is you're going to roll it in some olive skins.

You're going to peel the skin off the olive. Because you know, when you're drinking your martinis, you don't need the skins of the olive. You don't need the skin. Yeah. So, and that's a good point, Scott. Start thinking forward like this. So during the year, you can, you don't, you don't have to peel 70 olives all at once.

During the year, you just put them in a piggy bank or something and save those skins. Right, your olive piggy banks, yeah. That's right. Shaped like an olive maybe instead of a pig. I like your thinking. We could go into business or something. I don't olive piggy banks, yeah. That's right. Shaped like an olive maybe instead of a pig. I like your thinking. We could go into business or something. I don't think I wanna do that.

All right. But, so is that the last step though? It's not. There's eight or nine more steps, but that's the basic gist. Right. You know, and you're gonna- What about the relish?

Because I love a hot dog with relish. I can't have a hot dog without relish. Who doesn't? So you can make your own relish? Because I love a hot dog with relish. I can't have a hot dog without relish. Who doesn't? So you can make your own relish from fish parts. And you're gonna have to break those down with a little bit of turpentine. But you can neutralize that for the human system. Did you know honey is a great disinfectant?

I did not know that. It's a great disinfectant. Okay. Sounds like a good lube. Lube? Honey makes a good lube. Lube. Honey makes good lube. Yeah, you do have to pay the price after.

Like it's really sort of- It seems like you pay the price during. That sounds very sticky. Before, during and after, you do have to pay the price actually. But it's worth it. But it is worth it. What is the opposite of birth control?

Cause that seems like that would just Velcro, Velcro the sperm into you, wouldn't it? Yeah, I mean- Yeah, just vacuum packed. Sperm can't swim through honey. That's one thing. Oh, really? So actually the honey is the birth control. I see.

Interesting. Can't swim through honey. Imagine, little swimmer, honey, wall of honey, can't get through it. All right. It's stuck, suffocated. Good to know. Dead, killed. Wow.

So a man could just rub honey all over his genitals. I would say yes. And then that's birth control. honey all over his genitals. I would say yes. And then that's birth control. I would say yes. Interesting. You would say yes. I would say yes to the, not to the man. That's the guarantee. To the, to their experiment.

Okay. Interesting. Yeah. That's, I mean, you could right there, call up Shark Tank. Yeah. Cause that's- With Mr. Wonderful himself. You ever meet him? I wish. Cause that's- With Mr. Wonderful himself. You ever meet him?

I wish. I wish. What a guy. You know, I've made my own Mr. Wonderful. In what way? I've fashioned one, you know, all from things I got laying around. Like twigs, like a wicker man type of situation?

Exactly, yeah. Straw, twigs, driveway tar. Yeah, and he's just sitting there interrupting everyone. Yeah, he's judging me from afar, but it makes me strive to do better, you know. Wow. Anyway, so yeah, you got your hot dog. That sounds delicious.

How long does this take me to get one hot dog? Well, you have to pre-plan a bit. This one's seven weeks or so, because that turpentine has to be neutralized, you know. Right, right. And you do that with worm castings. You don't mind worm castings. I don't exactly know what they are.

It's worm turds. It's the castings. I see, the leaving of a worm. That's right, yeah. Digested. Where's the hole? Both ends, isn't that something? Oh, really?

Did you know that? Both ends and they go both ways and they don't have eyes and then all of them are hermaphroditic. Interesting. Wow. These sound pretty trendy. I'm telling you earthworms are gonna be... You have the finger on the pulse, Donna. Next thing you know, the government's gonna want to turn all of our teenagers into worms. turn all of our teenagers into worms. I wouldn't put it past them, Scott. I really wouldn't.

Hmm. Yep. Um, so, uh, how often do you eat? I mean, you say you love to eat, but it seems like this is a lot of your day. I wish I could eat every day, but I'd be lying if I said it was more than a week, but I do enjoy every bite. This morning I had a nibble of a dried geranium root. Oh.

And that, if you close your eyes and really imagine, that tastes almost like a caper. OK. Oh, OK. Yeah. So one caper, if you imagine it. If you imagine it. If you don't imagine, you're in for a wild ride, Scott,

because that's about the bottom of an ashtray times a butthole. Oh, gosh, I hate doing math, but I'll imagine that. What do you think, Poppy? Does this sound like something you might want to try? I mean... Honestly, I don't cook, so I would probably just door dash that.

Yeah. But I think I like that you're doing slow living, which also is really trendy, which I find you to be incredibly trendy. I'm trendy. I would say that you're like the Goop, like you're like the Gwyneth Paltrow. If you don't know what Goop is.

I ate some last month. Oh no, no, no, this is something different. You ever take an owl pellet and leave it out in the sun for too long? For too long, how long is too long? Seven years. Oh no, how long is too long? Seven years. Oh, no. But Goop is something different.

It's a lifestyle brand. Do you know what Gwyneth Paltrow is? I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. It's hard to explain. Okay. It's, have you ever like, you know, leaned over to someone who's suing you and just whisper, have a nice life

or whatever she said? I can imagine that. Have you ever sold a $125 candle? I wish I could make that much off of my candles. Most people don't want to light raccoon skulls on fire. And I don't understand the hangup because they last longer. And what that's going to do is burn your milk curd in a way that won't smell as bad

because the eye holes slow it down. It won't smell as bad as a candle or as a normal raccoon. It smells worse than a candle, unfortunately. It's spoiled milk, but it doesn't smell as bad if you focus it through a skull. Wow. I really feel like you have a niche on TikTok. I feel like TikTok would eat you up.

Yeah, do you own a camera? I've put some TikToks up. Have you fashioned a camera yourself? Yeah, well, I've fashioned my own tripod. I found a severed human hand and in my backyard okay that hold on one second you found a severed human hand in your backyard that's right and it holds the camera no no no no no we got to go backwards you've got don't be a prude come on I did you alert the

authorities at all I mean not to be a narc again There aren't that many authorities By me. Oh, where are you? You're a humble. Oh I'm running around humble seems like there should be more authorities than Normal. Yeah, I'm just I'm just the types of people who live in humble anyway, but that's that's just me. That's alright No, we we have sort of our own law, the land up there. Did you take the fingerprints before you fashioned it into a tripod,

just to try to figure out who the identity of- I bet that it's decomposed by then. Didn't occur to me, Scott. No, it was fully intact. It even had a wedding ring with someone's name on it, but I melted that down, used it to make some skewers for some appatee-zers. Oh my god, and did you used to be married by the way?

I've been married so many times. Okay, what happened to all of your husbands? They all died. It's so tragic. All the same way, none of them make it through the winter. Are they buried in your backyard by chance? I didn't bury them because I wanted to use them. All the same way, none of them make it through the winter. Are they buried in your backyard by chance? I didn't bury them because I wanted to use them. So they've been repurposed and it's what they would have wanted. Okay, so I thought we were onto something with finding out that this hand was one of

your ex-husbands. This is just an unrelated hand. Unrelated hand. But you have killed all of your husbands. I didn't kill them. But they just didn't make it through the winter because you didn't have sustenance. That's right. So sadly.

From cold? They died from cold or from? You know, it's a combination. When you start getting cold, your body needs calories. And you know, some of them, a little bit of picky eater. You know, I don't want to eat an apple core wrapped in a raccoon tail. I don't know if I'm a picky eater

if I'm starving to death. Yeah, exactly. Well, these guys were and that was their downfall. That was their downfall. That's on them. Sarah Killey's heel. Sounds like it was on them. Yeah, so, but they died doing what they love. What's that? Begging. Begging? Begging. Begging for food? That's right. I don't know that anyone loves begging for food. So dark. You could have fooled me because they did it a lot. Okay, I don't know. Donna, I think you're a cereal killer.

So, I love cereal. I would never get rid of it. I make my own. What do you kill to make cereal? Well, I don't have to kill anything. I forage for bird beaks. I shave them with a carrot grater. And then I dust them with sweet potato flakes,

homemade sweet potato flakes. It makes it taste like grain but it has the crunch of a cereal. Interesting, wow. Oh yeah, oh that's right, all of your husbands have died. I forgot that while you were saying that recipe and you found a human hand. I haven't forgotten that fact.

I'd say of everything Donna shared with us, that's probably the one thing I remember. It's kind of shocking. Is it the worst thing I've ever heard on this show? Not by a human hand. I haven't forgotten that fact. I'd say of everything Donna shared with us, that's probably the one thing I remember. It's kind of shocking. Is it the worst thing I've ever heard on this show? Not by a long shot. Not by a long shot. I appreciate that, Scott. But you know, it is weird.

Well, weird is a sliding scale, as I say. Honestly, I don't say this to all of my guests because charming people like Poppy come on this show, but then people like you come on the show, I think you're weird. I take that as a compliment, and that's where you and I sort of, it's a two each's own.

Sure, but I think the way that I have it, like my own is like sane, and you're like weird. I think it's weird to buy guacamole from a store when you can pulverize a gallbladder. If you look is I always agree with the first half of your sentence. And I'm like, oh yeah, you don't need to buy guacamole from a store because you can't,

and then you kind of lose me. I lose you, huh? You lose because you- It's like the McDLT of sentences. You have the normal half and the weird half. What's the D in that? What was the D in that? Dakin? All right, Donna, we have to take a break. half in the weird half. What's the D in that? What was the D in that?

Dakin? All right. Donna, we have to take a break. Can you stick around though? I would love to. Because even though you're like slightly eccentric, I want to hear what you have to say when our next guest comes on. I would love to.

Is that all right? Are you going to use that fingernail laying over there? Hey, have a ball. Great. Enjoy. You need some homemade floss? Mm, please. All right.

We need to take a break when we come back. We'll have more from need some homemade floss? Mm, please. All right. We need to take a break. When we come back, we'll have more from Donna. We'll have more from Poppy. And we have someone who works in the wedding industry. Very exciting. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Poppy Liu is here. And Space Cadet is the movie and- Of the summer. Movie of the summer. I said it. You know what I mean? Movie of the summer. Bang, Bang, we're back. Poppy Liu is here and Space Cadet is the movie and-

Of the summer. Movie of the summer. I said it. You know what I mean? Movie of the year, movie of the, the fortnight- The decade? No, fortnight is way shorter.

Yeah, that's two weeks maybe, but- But how many Oscars do you think this is gonna take home? You know, the golden man himself. I'd say all. Probably all of them. I think it's gonna sweep. Run the table? I think it's gonna set a record. That's right.

Maybe that- Everything, everywhere all at once. This award season, space cadets. That's right. Yeah. Wow. This is incredible. It comes out on Friday and the world will never be the same after that. You know, I actually will say that.

I think it actually has been a while since we've had a nostalgic kind of comedy like this. There was an era where we were getting like a lot of like Devil Wears Prada, Legally Blonde, like those films, I miss them. Yeah. You know? No, it used to be you could go to the theater and just turn, you know, just watch something

that was not challenging. Everything, first of all, every TV show nowadays has to be like a movie, a junior movie. Yes, and you have to use so many, I have to write down on a notepad everyone's name. I have to do a family tree to remember how all the, yeah. Yeah, I write down every single character's name. Cop number one, cop number two.

You would have got the cops. I've seen it, he has a Game of Thrones-esque scroll. But only of cops. That's right. And it's just for movies like Friends with Benefits and stuff like that. Just every character's name. And then I check to see if I got them right at the end

when they reveal the test answers. That's what those words are that come up at the end, right? Yeah, yeah, that's the credits. The credits at the end is the answer at the end of the textbook. And you can win and you can lose at a movie. Yeah, I have an A average, usually. Ah, Scott, okay.

I usually get them all. We do have to get to our next guest. By the way, Donna is Ah, with Scott, okay. I usually get them all. We do have to get to our next guest, by the way, Donna is here, the dinfluencer. Hello. And we do need to get to our next guest. He works in the wedding industry. Please welcome, first time on the show, everyone's a first timer here, please welcome Ray Good.

Scott, my good bitch, how are you? I don't know, I don't know that you can call me that. What, we've known each other for so long. I helped plan your wedding. It was very exciting. Maybe you would say the best day of your life, no? I mean, it's in contention. I didn't want to tell everyone that you planned my wedding here. This is what I do. I get in there and I help plan.

I thought that maybe you'd be on the show and we'd you know, we'd pretend like we don't know each other. Oh, we don't know each other. I can't, okay. You know, that way, you know, I- I guess I could take it back. What's up, you bitch? Okay, that's worse. Okay, I'm trying to just split the difference, you know?

Who's to say if you're good? I've never met this guy. No need to split the D, LT. Just- I love how the difference between you knowing and not knowing was from little bitch to just bitch. Like for my friends, they're a little bitch. I don't know, you're just a bitch.

I believe it was my good bitch, was it not? My good bitch. Which is a term of endearment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I shouldn't take such a fancy. Little is... No, you're so right. Little bitch is, that's the worst.

Pejorative. I would say that's the worst. Bitch actually, I think, is neutral good. Yeah. Maybe chaotic? What's up, bitch? Yeah, yeah, it's chaotic good. It's chaotic good, and that's sort of what I like to... My good bitch is full positive. Yeah. And there's maybe chaotic. What's up, bitch? Yeah, yeah, it's chaotic good. It's chaotic good. And that's sort of what I like to do. My good bitch is full positive.

Full positive. Oh yeah. Look, I think it's important that I'm the one that's taking it back. I'm bringing it back to the lexicon. Hey, so Ray, so tell us about what you do. Well, you know, weddings, everyone's really stressed out about planning weddings you know this is your pitch because it seemed like you got lost after you said weddings weddings we all have them what is a wedding no not everyone has one not everyone's married because maybe sometimes people the stress of planning a wedding is too much the details are too fine there's too many there's too many moving parts what we do at good weddings. Good weddings. Nice, my good bitch.

How do you spell your last name, Isabel? Good weddings for good bitches. That's, well, can I put that on a shirt? Yeah. I'd love to put that on a shirt. You plan weddings. Please do. Why are you putting things on shirts?

People love shirts. People love shirts. You're not a shirt guy, are you? I mean, anybody can be a shirt guy. Should I have introduced you as a shirt guy? I'm not a shirt guy, but if I put that on a shirt. What are you gonna do with it? I would buy it.

Good weddings for good bitches. One customer. I would sell them out. Now let's see, how many shirts has Scott sold today? Zilch, zip, nada, none. We do have some shirts in the store, by the way, and we have shirts on tour. Make sure you get them.

But anyway, okay, so how do you spell good, by by the way is it with an E at the end there's actually no E I got the E removed in court in court yeah I had to go to court to get it removed it was a pretty it was pretty intense actually what what how someone there did you have like opposition to removing they didn't want me to change my last name the government? They didn't want me to change my last name. Who? The government? The government didn't want me to change it. Why? They said it's fine the way it is. They'll deny it if they like the last name. Really? They'll do this. And they liked your last name so much G-O-O-D-E? Yeah, and I had to really fight to get the E taken off. It was a months long court battle? Yeah, it was pretty intense. I had to get in the taken off. It was a months long... Months long court battle? Yeah, it was pretty intense. I had to get in the best guys for this one.

I mean, you could have just made one cup of yogurt. That's like basically just one yogurt cycle is what you... One month? ...describe. That's right. I am often thinking about when I'm doing things that are taking a long time, how much yogurt can I be having instead? Is this one yogurt or two yogurts? Yeah, this was like a three yogurt situation.

This was pretty long. Okay, that's a little longer. Giuliani got it taken care of. And what? He's my lawyer. You know this. He was your witness at your wedding. Look, I know this, but we're pretending like we don't know each other, right?

So what Good Weddings does is we just, we set expectations at like a medium level. Okay. Because weddings- With whom? With the guests? With the guests and the people that are playing the wedding. Because everybody has big lofty dreams of what their wedding is gonna look like.

They're gonna look so beautiful and handsome and everybody's gonna be so happy at the wedding and stuff. And what we do is we just sort of pitch it right down the center. Okay, so you're telling like the groom like, hey, your tux is probably not gonna fit all day. You're gonna look like ass basically. You're gonna look pretty bad.

Your bride's gonna have too much makeup on. It's gonna be caked up. She didn't lose quite enough weight for the wedding. That's not for me to say, but I know that that's like your number one thing. Uh. No, no, no. Just to be clear. Scott, can't stop body shaming.

I know Scott's always like- Talking about cops and body shaming. I know, it's his favorite two things. Those are my two things. He literally can't stop. Cops and body shaming. It's his brand. You are the vegan aunt of this podcast.

I like this idea. Be honest with the folks, let them know what they're getting into. And then so they're like pleasantly surprised on the day. Yeah, they're always like, oh, you know what? This wasn't as bad as it could have been. This was fine. Everybody walks away going, this is fine. There were two bathrooms for 200 people wedding. This is fine. We thought we were going to have no bathrooms. We got two? That's two more than I thought we'd have. You know what? Maybe I love raspberry vinaigrette.

Maybe I love it. And it should be on all salads at every wedding. Right. Yeah, I mean, people are bored during the father-daughter dance. That's okay. Yeah, people are horny during the mother-son dance. It's fine.

We love that part. I don't know about that. That wasn't in your brochure. I always put, there's an extra long section. So we're planning, we're taking all the planning stages away from the people that are getting married. I have your brochure. I always put it, there's an extra long section. So we're planning, we're taking all the planning stages away from the people that are getting married. I have your brochure right now. It opens up like a Playboy centerfold.

Yeah, and it's like your mom here. Like it's like an empty, it's a silhouette. Cause like the big thing at these weddings that I'm really trying to like bring back into like the forefront is this, look, your parents are losing a child. They're getting married. Right. They don't need you anymore.

So those dances. Oh, it's like a singles bar. It's like a debutante's ball of the parents. It's just sort of like, maybe just think about what you're giving up. You're having a nice long dance with your mom and your dad and just think about it. Like, I'm giving this away. So you kind kind of you encourage the dances to be a bit erotic

not necessarily erotic more sensual is the word I think what is the difference between erotic and sensual sensual is well to put it frankly it's like the difference between fucking and making love I understand now that's the difference because the picture on the broch, it looks like you've just taken the silhouette of two dancers from the movie Dirty Dancing. Yeah. Taken their identities out and said, your mom here. Yeah, I just, I made it.

Cause this guy's obviously Patrick Swayze. I mean, somebody's dad could look like that. Somebody's mom could look like that. God bless him if they could. I mean, oh man, can you imagine? No, a woman could look like Patrick Swayze. It's fine. Anybody could look like Patrick Swayze.

He had a mullet, so it's like, it's fine. Anything goes. Yeah. But that's like, we do that. And then we also make sure that like the steak is like either very, very small or so cooked that it's hard. Yeah. You have to, yeah.

And also make sure it comes out about an hour late after it's supposed to. Oh yeah. And you like wine, Scott, right? You like to have a glass of wine? Love it. Yeah. What about the- The fermented grape itself. What they can do with the grape. Freeze a grape, ferment the grape, right off the vine.

I can name 80 more things. Would you like me to? I'll take 79. We provide our own wine, we provide our own wine we distill our own wine. Wait you distill your own wine for these weddings? We do it all. You should be a wine guy. You should be a wedding guy. You should be a wine guy or a t-shirt guy. You have so many complaints about what I'm doing you sound like a wine guy. W-H-I-N. Fuck you. Wow call the government get that H in there. And that's a shirt folks that could also be a shirt.

I respect the hell out of you. Thank you so much. Making your own wine. Do you pool noodle distill or what are you, what's your setup? It's sort of like, it's more of like a butt chug distill. What? We do it like where we, you know, we stomp on the grape,

but then the juice goes into like a funnel that's in an ass, doesn't have to be mine. And then it comes out. How often is it yours? I mean, it's mine when I'm doing it. How often is it someone else's? Rarely someone else. Okay.

All right. It's kind of like. So it's your thing. It's kind of like my other thing. Right. But. Okay. Yeah.

So you're a t-shirt guy, a butt chug guy. I'm not a butt chug guy. I'm a wine guy. Butt chugging is the method. You're an ass play. It sounds like a niche OnlyF. The FBI and the CIA were watching the intake from our subs. It was going sky high and productivity across the nation was going down, so they had to shut us down. No way. Yeah, yeah. They thought I was trying to start some sort of like new movement.

But people were just- People are, yeah, just watching your own fans. Just watching it. But that's not even, that's like my fifth business. I got a bunch of little irons in the fire. My main thing is weddings, because I've been to so many weddings. I went to seven weddings this year. Really? This is a true story.

And all of them- This is true, wait, so when someone says that, I kind of feel like everything else they've said has been false? I think when I say that, I mean, you better be listening to what I'm saying. Oh, I see, okay. This is for emphasis. Yeah. Yeah. It's an emphatic. This is a true story. Everything I'm saying is true.

Got it. And I'm real. I wouldn't doubt it. You're right here in front of me. You planned my wedding. Yeah. And you would say your wedding was great. Would you not? No, I wouldn't. I would say it was good. Exactly. See? Exactly.

That's it. Yeah. So wait, okay. So what's the true story? You've been to seven weddings? I went to seven weddings this year. Is that the end of the story or does it continue? That's kind of it. Good story.

I went to seven weddings and you know what? They are all basically pretty good, but they also, if I was running them, they could have been actually good. You know what I'm saying? Okay. So what is the difference? Is actually good better than pretty good? Yeah, is this the difference between making love and fucking?

Yeah, that's sort of like, it's exactly that same, on that same scale, actually. I don't know which I prefer, to be honest. Wait, so actually good is making love or fucking? Hmm. Yeah, which is which? Which one's the casual one, and which one's the feelings are involved?

What do you think is better, making love or fucking? Fucking of course, my dear. My dear. My good bitch. That's what you prefer. I mean- You don't like the intimate emotional connection. Miss me with that shit, dog.

We talked about this on the wedding day. We talked about it, yeah, right before I went down the aisle. Yeah. We had a sidebar. Is that what that framed picture is on Scott's mantle of you whispering to him, hey, I'm going to get married to you? I'm going to get married to you. I'm going to get married to you.

I'm going to get married to you. I'm going to get married to you. I'm going to get married to you. I'm going to get married to you. I'm going to get married to you. I'm going to, yeah, right before I went down the aisle. Yeah. We had a sidebar. That's what that framed picture is on Scott's mantle of you whispering to him. I see. Yeah, exactly. It's a moment that...

My good bitch. Yeah, right after the photo was taken, just a hard smack on the ass too. It was like, go get him, tiger. Yeah, I love him. I mean, the momentum pushed me out there because I was kind of, I was like iffy about going down the aisle,

but you gave me that smack in it. Just said, and now look at you. It propelled me down the aisle and here I am married. Wow. And the wedding was good. And you know, these things, I go to these weddings and I see what all these miss snakes they're making. Miss snakes?

Miss snakes. Very hemplo. And that's right. Wait, are there snakes involved in your business Oh, if that's what the the bride and groom want I'll get a snake in there, but it might be like a sick snake Okay, not like sick cool sick like coughing. Yeah, it might have like a runny nose Snakes are wonderful to have in any appetizer situation because they molt very frequently. And that's a good substitute for a rice paper wrap.

Any sort of thing you wanna put in there. Some jicama sauce, so maybe an Asian Imperial roll, you know, like with a Vietnamese sort of dipping sauce. Sure, how do you make the sauce though? Well, you gotta roll out, I use a pair of nylons because those are gonna strain. An old pair of nylons. An old pair of nylons. Yeah, that you're not wearing anymore. By the way pair of nylons because those are going to strain. An old pair of nylons. Yeah.

That you're not wearing anymore. By the way, your nylons are beautiful right now. Thank you so much. You're wearing like Hooters shorts. That's right. Yeah. I found the nylons underneath. I can't stop commenting on people's bodies.

There was a dead Hooters waitress near a dumpster. What is going on in your town? Scott, it's the wild west there, but we don't mind. It's a humble thing you wouldn't understand. Are you from Humboldt, too? You're my good bitch? Of course, my good bitch. Well, listen, I mean, how do people get a hold of you?

Just, I mean, I have a website. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Don't say it like, defensively. I mean, it it's just like it's just so crazy. You hired me You know how to forget a hole to me. Yeah, these are just legitimate questions So people can go look you up on the business. I see I mean you have my phone number You can call me anytime my website. I have you on speed dial My website, I mean, it's it's just good weddings comm slash fuck You got a slash fuck. Slash fuck.

You got a slash fuck? I got slash fuck in there because it takes you to like, I just want you to know that this is what the experience is going to be. It's going to be a rager. It's going to like, but it's also going to be like, you're going to walk away from the wedding going, that was fine.

We played all the classic wedding songs, celebrate. Yeah, celebration by cool and the gang. Yeah, Celebration by Cool and the Gang, of course. What's another one? Famously played at my wedding when I requested the DJ not play it. It was the first song played. We're going to run that back at the end of the night, too. We're going to be playing it nonstop. What if you hired good, well I guess you did, after you hired good weeks.

So that's your bad. I'm across all areas of the wedding. Do you help with the vows? I'll throw in, I'll give you- You'll throw in vows? What does that mean? I'll toss in some lines, I'll throw in, I'll give you- You'll throw in vows? What does that mean? I'll toss in some lines and I'll read them. You know, I'll punch up.

Like what's an example of a line you'll write for someone's vows? I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. We're gonna really do this whole wedding thing. And gosh, I'm the luckiest guy. Oh, that's fine. It's fine. What about like inspirational quotes?

Inspirational quotes, you got it dude. Okay, I'm reading your brochure. Like these are just lines from the Austin Powers franchise. Yeah, I'll throw it. This is like get in my belly. Do I make you horny baby, parentheses, hopefully. Am I right? Yeah.

And then I'll say get in my belly. And that's the, I'll put that in the brides. Yeah. And that's like a moment where then they're speaking to the skies above. Okay. And the heavens. Hopefully, this is all... Yeah, you wrote this explanation underneath in italics and it's just not...

It's not even really making sense to me. I mean, people do it. People... It's the number one selection of my vows, my pre-written vows. They read all the explanation that's in italics as well, because that would help the context. They... It sort of fills in the audience too, but then it's also like a funny moment where they'll play it off like, I guess I wasn't supposed to read that part. Like when you read sides in a script or something. But that's also in the script.

I'm noticing it's like- I put that in there too. Like you play this off like it's a mistake. I guess I wasn't supposed to read that. Yeah, exactly. I've done that before. Honestly, a great reading. You're pretty good.

I mean, professional actors here. I'm going to be shooting a commercial soon. I might need somebody to be in the commercial. What are you shooting the commercial for? Your wedding thing? Your t-shirt thing? Your ass play thing? It's sort of like an all-encompassing sort of like good corp.

Just good corp? It's like a goop kind of thing of like where you have a lot of facets of the business. Yeah, but you don't pronounce the O-O that way. It's a different sort of sound. Yeah, good, good. Good, not good. Instead of goo, goop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's confusing, English is confusing, isn't it? I mean. Should be standardized across the board. Gwyneth Paltrow is suing him. Really, Gwyneth Paltrow is suing you? You will not believe what she whispered to me. Oh no. Oh no.

What did she say, my good bitch? She said, well, it was actually really mean. What? I don't wanna say it. So she said something nice when she knows the cameras are on her. And then when no cameras are on, what'd she say? She sort of whispered to me like in like a Freddy Krueger way.

No! She's like, I'm gonna fucking kill you. Was she wearing like a glove with knives on it? She had a glove with knives on it. And like a fedora? Yeah, and she was wearing a striped sweater. Okay, you were dreaming. You were dreaming.

You think I was dreaming. I think you were dreaming. I think this is Freddie dressed up like Gwyneth Paltrow to be funny in his dreams, because you know how funny he is. You think I was asleep and I was visited by Freddie Krueger himself. I believe you were.

Did you ever, did you ever go to school at that place where he was the janitor? Yeah, I went to school. No, at the place where he was the janitor. Oh, where Mr. Krueger was the janitor? Yeah, Elm Street? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I went there. Yeah, you've been Nightmare on Elm Street-ed.

That sucks. That does suck. If he kills you in the dream, you die in real life. Good thing I always end up sucking him off in the dream. All right, okay, all right. Look, we're running out of time. We're running out of time here. Are you having another wedding any time soon or what?

No, man, I'm happy. Everything's cool here. That sucks. But Poppy over here, she's, you know, she's got a ring. I'll think about it. If anybody ever needs a wedding, hit me up. I'm happy to help plan it. And just know that it's just going to be like a very,

like sort of normal type of thing. But if you wanna, I mean, even if you just want to start have a party where you can like dance with your parent for like a really long time, like that's we'll do that. You'll do that. So just head over to goodweddings.com slash fuck. That's right. All right. We have to we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called Plugs. The thing about it, Plug Bag,

do you open it? Or does it open you? Subscribe to my Patreon. Oh wow, that was delightful. That was Plug Bag Within by Pretty Mouthy. Pretty Mouthy, uh, and subscribe to their Patreon. And, uh, Pretty Mouthy, you're famous for a week. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBworld.com slash plugs and upload it.

All the stems are there and everything. So have a ball and you can be a famous, you can be a famous musician for a week, just like Pretty Mouthy. And, all right, what are we plugging here? Poppy, obviously Space Cadet comes out this week. People can check it out on Amazon Prime, and maybe they'll get the thing that Amazon put on there where it's like, this was brought to you

without any commercials, but you gotta watch a really long one. That's true. They'll be like, in the beginning, you know how they have the countdown for commercials? It'll be like 120 seconds. Exactly. And the thing is, is they're like,

oh, this is without commercials. Guess what? You're showing me one right now. Liars. Anyway, so it comes out this Thursday. And one thing about this movie I'll say is that it's really good with any member of your family. Sometimes like even the other day,

my dad was over and we were watching a movie and there was like a sex scene and I was mortified. We were sitting on opposite ends of the couch and I was like, oh my God. Even though your history tells us that both of you have had sex. Even though our history does, yes. In fact, you'd think it'd be something bonding.

In fact, it's the opposite. We have both experienced this, father. And it wasn't even me on screen, but exactly. Happy Father's Day, dad. You and I are both, you know. So I would say if you're worried about watching a film with your parents and then having to sit through a sex scene, it's not like that.

It's not like that. It's not like Titanic. It's not like Titanic when you're five and you're, we had just immigrated here and you know, my parents don't know movie ratings and you're watching Titanic and there's Kate Winslet naked and then you have like naked dreams about her for like 10 years of your life. Only 10? Yeah so then I'm still going. In the same year because again we don't know movie ratings that we just immigrated here you watch Silence of the Lambs as you're as a five-year-old and you also

dream of a boy Hannibal Lector shampooing your hair. It's not like that okay the space cadet is not like that. Space cadets not like that. You can watch it with your family, no one's gonna have sexual Hannibal Doctor dreams for decades to come. Which, you know, in the dream I'm always Clarice and that's something that I can't change anymore. You're always knocking on that door, but they do the fake out where it's like, they think the FBI is bursting down.

No, it's just me and Hannibal alone in a room. He's shampooing my hair gently. I know he could kill me, but I know he won't. Remember that second movie where they eat the guy's brain? Yes, I do. Nice with a little bit of raisin. Oh, sorry. Donna, what do you wanna plug?

You have anything here? Yeah, if you wanna check out another podcast, check out Yes Also. It's a podcast that interviewing improvisers, many of them have been on this program. Aren't they boring? They're not boring, Scott. They're some of the most interesting, hilarious people. I hang out with some of them sometimes as

like, yawn city. Name names. Which ones? No, that's all right. Rank them. But yeah, many of your favorite people are on there. Carl Tarp, Vic McAlis, Jess McKenna. Check it out. Yes also. Oh, he's yawning. And Ray Good, Ray Good, what do you want to plug here? I listen to a podcast. When I'm not planning weddings, I play video games. So I listen to this video game podcast called Get Played. It's hosted by Matt Apodaca, Heather Ann Campbell, and Nick Weiger. And they talk about video games. They have a Patreon where they talk about anime, patreon.com slash get played. Check it out. Check it out, brother. And I wanna plug, hey, we're out on tour.

We just completed one leg of the Comedy Bang Bang Tour. It was very successful. Really nice to see all you folks out there. The shows were great, I thought. And nice meeting everyone after the shows. And so if you want to come see us, the tour starts up again next week in Arizona and then San Diego, and then we go to Utah and Denver and Texas and then the whole

Midwest and then Toronto and then we're doing the West Coast after that. And then the UK, we have UK dates, England. And we also are going to Ireland and so many places, head over to cbbworld.com slash tour. You can still get tickets for a lot of those shows. And also if you want to listen to the shows as they come out, if you are a Maximus subscriber at CBB World, you can listen to all the shows. They're put up within 48 hours of us doing them. And one thing that I did want to say is

if you are a Maximus subscriber and you're saying like, hey, why aren't I getting these shows? doing them. And one thing that I did want to say is if you are a Maximus subscriber and you're saying like, Hey, where, why aren't I getting these shows? It's a new feed. Go to CBBworld.com and then go to the part that says Access. Hit that, hit your feed. It's a new feed. It's the bang, bang in your mouth feed. And while you're at CBBworld, become a Maximus subscriber. Why don't you? You get all these great shows like CBB Presents and The Neighborhood Listen, and Scott hasn't seen so much great stuff over there. Alright, let's close up the old plug bag. What? What? What? What?

There! What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? There's nobody left Oh, that was Nobody Left the Plugs by Nels for Smells. Kind of a bop. Yeah, pretty good. Nels for Smell, Smells? Yes, Smells. Nels for Smells. A song to have unprotected sex to. Yeah, although that's any song with me.

Just put on some music, strip the condom off. Your favorite song's Happy Birthday, right? Because you wear a condom all day and then... Yeah, it's time for sex. It's like Mr. Rogers. It's time to relax. Let's take it off. Guys, I want to thank you so much.

Poppy, great to meet you. Thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for having me. Big fan of your work. Thanks for having me. So fun. And you're very funny and thank you so much for being here. And Donna, good luck for you. I'm calling the authorities the minute you walk out the door.

I have a good relationship with all of them. Are they in on it? Well, I bake them some brownies every year. It takes a year to bake brownies? That's right. I give them my annual brownies. Annual brownies. At the end of the process. You know, prune pits are quite hard.

You have to soften them. I'll tell you after the pop. Yeah, I don't have time for that. But, um, and Ray Good, what more can be said? What more can we say, my good bitch? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I love you, baby. I love you.

I wish I had another wedding, man, because I'd love to spend more time with you. Let's just hang. Let's just, no, I don't know about that. love you. I wish I had another wedding, man, because I'd love to spend more time with you. Let's just hang. Let's just, nah, I don't know about that. Have you seen the movie Wedding Crashers? I have, yeah. We could do that. You want a wedding crash?

I'll crash a wedding with you. Yeah, that would be so fun to play that football game out in the backyard of that big estate, you know, with Bradley Cooper. Oh yeah. Let's crash his wedding. Oh, that'd be awesome. Who wants to be Vince Vaughn? Not it. Oh shit, am I Vince Vaughn, really? Yeah, you're crash his wedding. Oh, that'd be awesome. Uh, who wants to be Vince Vaughn? Not it. Oh shit. Am I Vince Vaughn?

Really? Yeah, you're sort of taller Sort of you're already like 6'2 yourself. Hey, I'm like 6'2 and a half Tall is tall, baby It's a good point. Did we run out of steam you and me? Um, I'm done. Okay, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye!