Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Sam Jay, Gil Ozeri, Greg Hess

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

Stand-up comedian extraordinaire Sam Jay joins Scott to talk about her latest stand-up special Salute Me or Shoot Me, her time writing on SNL, and the differences between New York and Boston. Then, anarchist Bane returns to test out new material for his hour comedy special. Plus, entertainer Benny Sands stops by to talk about what happens during his Vegas show.

I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang, I'm a deep bang Come and see my mind, come and see my mind. Klava Ra Cobbler, so I can unlaunch this corn on the cob from out of my clogs. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Wow, I can't believe I got that all out. Thank you so much to Potser King of the Freaks. Oh my gosh, Potser King of the Freaks. For that cast phrase submission, I don't believe it's gonna stick,

but thank you so much, Potser. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. We have a great show coming up a little later. We have an anarchist. We have an entertainer. Oh my gosh, entertainers are back. One of the strikes is over. Maybe the other one is by this time. I we don't know. But first of all, in our pole position, by the way, my name is Scott Ockerman, and in our poll position in our guest of honor, in A-block, we have a speaking of entertainers, we have a wonderful entertainer. She is the host of a wonderful talk show called Pause with Sam J. And great standup comedian, also writer for SNL. Not sure if you're going back. It says to the present, not sure.

Are you going back to the... I haven't written there in a long time, so that's what. Yeah, but not to the present. Especially like the present I assume it means like, to the second, you know what I mean? No, absolutely not. Probably like two years, three years. It's been two years, let's get our fans to update your Wikipedia.

What do you think? Fix my wiki, guys. She has a new special that's out currently on Max. It's called Salute Me or Shoot Me. A great special that I just saw. Please welcome for the first time on the show, Sam J. Hey, what's up? What is up?

Nothing. This is a question for you more than for me. What's up? Chillin' I guess. Chillin' in LA. Not having the best time. You resided New York, is that? And I, from what I understand, there are some differences having the best time. You resided in New York, and I, from what I understand,

there are some differences between the two times. Oh my God. Let's go into them. There's a lot. No, I used to live here, and I moved from here to New York to write for SNL, and I never thought I was living in New York. I'm a Bostonian, so by nature, I hate New York, and I was like, I can never love this city.

And now I'm in love with New York City. Really? I love it. Do you think everyone in Boston is wrong? They're absolutely wrong. It's probably the best city in the world. What makes it so different from Boston? Oh.

Every single thing. Yes. Well, first of all, you got the Statue of Liberty. I like to wake up every morning in New York and salute it. Oh, do you? Oh, yeah. Okay, that's patriotic. I don't do that.

I will not salute a flag. I do get bacon and cheese in the morning. Oh, okay. I want to roll, you know what I'm saying? Can you not do that in Boston? I've spent maybe three mornings in Boston. You can get a good breakfast sandwich in Boston, but it's not gonna be a bacon, it can cheese on a roll.

Really, what? But you can get a decent joint. So one of those three things we'll be missing, it might be a- You can like a sausage on a wheat bread. You know what I'm saying? No fried egg. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, so New York is better because of that, mainly. Mainly, just more stuff to do. I don't know, once you get to the pacing of the city and you get into like the culture and just how the city moves and how you can be up all night and You just get used to it and then you go other places and you're like What is the point? Yeah, also Boston doesn't have Saturday night live Which is important reason why you moved I needed that part if Boston had Saturday night live

And I think every town should have their own Saturday night That actually be fired. It went to a different place every Saturday. Yeah. Like, life from Detroit is Saturday night. Yeah, and everyone just broadcast their own in their own city. That's fire. That way there would be way more people who could get on SNL. There wouldn't be all that jockeying for like, you know.

Also, there just be way more people who could like relate because every time you do this show, like someone calls like writes in from somewhere and they're like, this show fucking sucks. You know? Was that, was that what you were in charge of? Is like, I was feeling complaints. That was my job.

That's a call of complaints. What did you write on the SNL show? Did you write the cheerleaders? No. Church lady? No. Those are like all the old ones. Okay, let me think of coneheads.

Yes. Okay, good. That was me. That was all me. And the coneheads movie. That's how I got the old ones. Okay, let me think of coneheads. Yes. Okay, good. That was me. That was all me. And the coneheads movie. That's how I got the job. I had submitted coneheads before I got the job. Right.

And they used it. Yeah, I was like, you don't have to give me credit. 40 years later, they were like, just give me a job when I'm ready. Yeah. Now, what did you write on it, Samoly? Is there anything that stands out or was it mainly like, a lot of writing jobs, which is like little stuff here?

Little stuff here and there, really. But I got a couple of, I did like the cha cha cha slide sketch with John Mulaney. That was a fun one. I did all the black, dark, but the chat was there. Oh yeah, that's right. I read that you did black, dark, but the sketch. But that was already a sketch before I got there.

I just wrote on the one with the chat with Rosemond. But then I already established that, that game as we call it. Before I got there, and then a lot of stuff was just like little stuff here and there. Like a line in stuff, some stuff. A line in stuff sometimes, stuff like that. I was good for throwing a good line out at the table. We, your friend that you mentioned in the special Langston

and I wrote on the Oscarsston and I were, we wrote on the, the Oscars together and, oh yeah. And we both, uh, uh, I got the wording of one joke in one joke, the particular wording. Nothing idea. And not the punchline. That's how it is. Just the wording of it. Yeah, that's how it is.

And Langston got, uh, precisely zero. Oh, yeah, he tells me about that all the time. I think it's one of his source spots. Look, I got nothing. It was a lot of fun. We had a great time. We had some great lunches together. That's awesome.

Now, your special is out. You've been doing stand-ups since I was reading this in the trades. 2012, is that right? 2013. 2013, really. And you had a pretty, I mean, immediately you went to SNL in 2017. So four years later, but, but like, that seems soon, but it's the length of high school and high school seemed to drag on forever. It was fast and not, I think it was fast, but not fast for like something to happen.

You know what I mean? So it's like first open mic 2013 and then SNL 2017. Yeah, that's how you do it That's how you roll that's how you roll with the big dogs How the big dogs do and This is your is this your third special second second special, but you had two albums is our one album one Half hour. Okay, so I guess how long was the album an hour? So that was an hour then you did a half hour. Okay. So I guess how long was the hour? An hour. So that was an hour. Then you did a half hour. Yeah. You're like, let's scale this back. And then I did a 15. 15. Yeah. I did. So why isn't this seven?

And I did an hour. It's called salute me or shoot me. It came out on max a little while ago. It's out right now and it's very, very funny. I watched it last night and you can say, thank you, go ahead, were you about to or you, you inhaled as if you were about to say something. Were you gonna disagree with me? No, no. It is funny, right?

It's alright. No, yeah. I think it's funny. I think I was surprised that you thought it was funny. I think I was just touched by that. Oh, that's so nice. I was so glad you thought it was funny. I think I was just touched by that. Oh, that's so nice. I was like, oh, that's fucking fire. I have to watch a lot of things,

and I always say they're good. And I mean, half the time, probably. Oh, okay. Well, I'll help them on the... You're on the good, you're on the good, yeah. Let me tell you. It's cool. You, the first, third of it,

maybe you're doing a lot of relationship stuff, which is very cool. Is that new for you or have you always kind of done? No, like my first special, I did some, I think it kind of always ends up starting with my relationship, mostly because I just try to find a like place of honesty to start from and like an introspective place and usually that's me like complaining about my girl.

So, no, not new. I feel like the first special was kind of relationship because I was talking about traveling together kind of what that is. And this one was more about just my roles and responsibilities within the relationship. But I was just trying to use that to kind of lay that groundwork for empathy

and how I discovered it myself to then try to like, you know, pose that to the audience or whatever. If you truly wanted to do like the most honest special, you should like, hook yourself up to a lie detector during the whole thing. You know how like, house on is getting into so much trouble with it, special like, just to hook yourself up to a lie detector during a special.

And then that would be a great marketing gimmick for a stand up special. This is the first totally honest standup special. Some of it, God, you got a lot a little bit. No, no, no. This would be like, if it ever went off, then you would have to... So you say yesterday it didn't happen yesterday. And that's what I'm saying, on this special, you would have to then go back or as ago, okay, it wasn't yesterday. It actually was six months ago.

I didn't work on this for... I do try to do that sometimes. I mean, actually was six months ago. I just tried to do that so time. I didn't work on this for. I do try to do that sometimes. I'll be like, it was a while ago. You know what I mean? To try to keep myself more honest in a moment. You're dealing with a lot of subject matter. I'm gonna phrase this like a compliment, and I hope you take it as such.

But you're dealing with a lot of subject matter that I've seen other stand-up comedians deal with in a less nimble way. And you mentioned the word empathy. And I think that's a lot of it because I think you're dealing with stuff like policing of language and what people can and can't say.

And instead, you see a lot of stand-ups kind of deal with that in a less empathetic way where they're like, why can't I just be allowed to say whatever the fuck I want to say? Fuck all these people and you deal with it in a different way. How would you describe it? I guess it wasn't about me so much. I do feel you like, I feel like sometimes people are just like, I should have a license to do what I want. Where this was more of opposing to the audience of, what are the means to the ends of all this stuff that we're doing?

Are we actually making any difference in the stuff that we're doing, or is this all just posturing for the sake of posturing? I think that was a question that I had for myself. It was a question that I wanted to set out into the world. Because you throw out a few premises that I can feel the audience getting a little uncomfortable. But whole type. Yes. Type would hold.

And that is not the premise, by the way, about tight buttocks. That's a different hour. That's the next question. All about tight but. But you throw out a couple of things that using words that are maybe not even in fashion and some people say shouldn't be used, the leasing of language we're talking about. You throw it out there and you can feel the audience get a little tight. But then you explain it in a way that I don't know that I'm coming around

necessarily to your point of view at the end, but it's a very funny, it's sort of the comedian, but it's a very funny, it's sort of the comedian, they're always the person in the back of the room kind of like when people say what the rules are, what society all has agreed on, the person going like, hey, nah, what about this? The contrarianism. Exactly, yeah. And that's what a comedian traditionally does,

is just like, yeah, what if we don't? But hand in hand with that has to also go empathy where it's like, you know, some people don't wanna be called this anymore because of this reason and you acknowledge all that and it's really definitely done. Oh, wow, thank you. I think I'm gonna take that a couple of minutes.

I hope you do. Yeah, I will. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, no, I mean, I just felt like, when that's the type of comedy I like, I like the kind of comedy that kind of player, who are your influences?

Ooh, I like a lot of stuff. I'm like all over the board. I have such weird comedic things. Like I like Mike Lee in black, and I like Richard Pryor, and I like Sarah Silverman, and I like Chris Rock, and I like Eddie Murphy. And I like all the old school sketch shows of state, Mr. Shum.

Kids in the hall, I kind of like all of it. Yeah, so you're like a historian. Yeah, I really, really, really like, when you were growing up to do Red Fox, George Carlin, old Robin Williams specials. Yeah, new Robin Williams movies like Father's Day. New ones. No. Yeah, I kind of like wanted to say, I like it all. When you were growing up where you someone who gravitated towards like, oh, there's comedy on TV. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think Gary Goldman was here a few weeks back and was saying like his mother would always shout shout out Gary the comic is on Yeah, I always knew what like well who was dropping specials

Very young too. I would say like a 8 9 10 11. I was like super aware of like late night television and like who were the new comics and I kind of like knew everybody a little bit. Would you watch a late night, like what were the late night shows on when you were coming up? Coming up, I mean, I had like, in my tea, like I would say, lean at Leno, but I feel like I caught like the last years of, I feel like I caught maybe the last years of Carson. Real, okay, because he retired in 93. Yeah, I would say I caught like the last year as a Carson. Really? Okay, because he retired in 93.

Yeah, I would say I caught the last year as a Carson, Leno, Letterman. So you would always kind of like be anticipating that last 10 minutes slot where a comedian would- I mean, that's the reason I cared. You know what I mean? I wasn't really into the interviews and stuff. I just want to see like the stand up.

Right. And if it was ever abandoned, would that be a disappointment to you? I'm like, boo, and I would break my television. No. You went through so many televisions. It depends on the band, but I was really in it for like the stand up of it. So then why not, why did you wait until 2012 then to do it? Because I'm a big old pussy bro.

I was scared I think now that I could look I could look back on it. I was a little that was a little coward Did you have people telling you like oh man? You love you love doing it? You're really funny in person. You should you should get up there every once in a while So like you should be a comedian, but it always like an insult. It's always after I was like being an asshole in a while, someone like, you should be a comedian, but it always felt like an insult. It was always after I was like being an asshole. So, you should be a comedian. You should be a comedian. Yeah, that's so, no.

You're annoying me right now. Yeah. And comedians annoy me. Yeah, it was more than that than super encouraging. But you had it within yourself, you were like thinking about it a lot. Oh, yeah, I definitely was thinking about it a lot. I didn't, I also didn't really know how to do it.

Yeah. I didn't really have like a, it's weird because it's like, especially in Boston, it wasn't like a lot of black comedy rooms and stuff like that. We probably still have one in a city. So comedy was like this really white boy thing that like white, smelly white boys did. And I was like, oh, I'm not smell. That like, white, smelly white boys did.

And I was like, oh, I'm not smelly white boy. I don't know. Yeah. I really don't know my way into that. Also, Connie in general, I remember growing up and there were so few books written about it. There's certainly no instruction manuals or like comedians out there saying,

oh, this is what you have to do. Like even just how to navigate the club, the comedy store and the clubs and all of that kind of stuff, is there's nothing written about it. So any book that was out there, I remember I read a book called The Second City and there was like one book called Comedian. It had interviews with like 15 comedians

from Seinfeld and stuff like that. And you just kind of read these going like, well, how do you do it though? Like, what's the process? Like, I remember watching the comedian with St. Jerry and, uh, Warnie, where they were watching it.

Yeah, it's called the movie called, comedian, right? Yeah, and I remember watching that and he, I'm like, oh, like, clearly, cause I'm sick in the head. I was like, this looks like the best life ever. I just asked him recently. I was like this looks like the best life I just asked the reason I was like this one's off It's like watching that radio hit documentary meeting people is easy and going like I got to get in the band

Well, I and I was like I wonder, you know? And then I kinda like, right, I was like 20, 22, and I got up once in Boston, and it just didn't, it didn't feel good. That wasn't good. I didn't really understand what I was doing. I just didn't feel the connection. I thought I was gonna feel, whatever I thought I was gonna feel I didn't feel it.

And I was like, I don't know. And then I kinda like drifted around doing a bunch of other stuff, moved to Atlanta, did a little bunch of the crap, but it was always kind of in my head. And then when I finally like drifted around doing a bunch of other stuff, moved to Atlanta, did a bunch of the crap. But it was always kind of in my head. And then when I finally went back home, I was like, man, you just gonna have to go get with these smelly white boys and figure it out. And so you went to smelly white boy night.

I went to smelly white boy night. And I was like, what's the deal? And then what's the deal with smelly white boys? What's the deal? Like, how do we do this? And then my homie told me, why I met him that night? And he was just in P.D. And he told me, why I met him that night, and he was just a peedger, and he told me about the other mics,

and I just like kept going. So you met, this was a fellow comedian who was doing a lot of the rooms. And was like, did he take a liking to you the first time you did it? Or did you just see a like-minded person? I think it was just like,

you're out here trying. I'll tell you what a mics are. If I keep seeing you, then I keep seeing you, you like doing it. That's the thing. A lot of people don't know how to do it, I'll tell you what a mics are. If I keep seeing you then, I keep seeing you. You like, you do. That's the thing a lot of people don't know how to do it. And it is so daunting because like we say, there's no, every single artist that exists has a different pathway to what they're doing.

But what is kind of common amongst all of them is, you just gotta try it and then you meet the people who will sort of like help out and go like, oh, you gotta go over to this place. And then you meet the people who will sort of like help out and go like oh, you gotta go over to this place Yeah, and then you meet the people who you may not ever meet the Jerry Seinfelds of the world who will then think of you as a peer But you will meet your own peers and you'll all be lifting up Yeah, and you come up kind of in your own class, you know, and like that's kind of how I happened and then I was like This smelly white boys are really my tribe, actually. I get along with them very well.

It's a good time. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Well, it's, it's a fantastic, you do great work out there. And it's a really cool special and last approximate leads between, I would say 59 minutes and 61 somewhere around. And, and it's on the shore me a minute I see it's on the max streaming platform is that what I'm being led to understand yes and people can access this via their apps and some sort of subscription model and you're talking like you came from the past like you got a transport. I'd never said I didn't. Actually all of us are transported here from the past. Are we not? I mean, if you want to get in. Unless we were born right

this second right now. I guess you're right. Our bodies are time machines. They're just the slowest time machines of all time. That's deep. You got any mushrooms so I could keep up with this. Let's get high right now, what do you say? I've never done the show high. Really? Yeah. I got to grow up, man. I know.

You would think, I mean, so many things happen on this show that's just like nuts. You think I was high for some of it? Yeah, I definitely was like, I'm impressed in that some point. No, instead I'm stone cold sober and I got like, I guess that's kind of cooler. I don't know, is it? I guess.

I seem square to you, don't I? A little. What can I do to like loosen it up? What do you think? Take your shirt off. Take my shirt. No. No. All right. I'm shutting you down right now. This is not going to be a shirtless pod. Comedy dangling in its 14th year as a shirtless podcast. No. Not going to happen. Well,

Sam J is here, salute me or shoot me is and I'm going to ask you the question that everyone asks you know, all these interviews is what does the title mean? What does honestly it just was kind of I felt like it was my second special and I felt like you said I was kind of you know, treading in some dangerous waters and I was kind of laying some lines in the sand. And I was kind of like, Hey, this is the special where you're either going to be like on board. And you're like, I'm a fan. And I like how this girl does this. Are you going to be a coordinator?

I do not like this. Yeah. I do that like this. And I will not be participating. I just felt like it was kind of that style of the question. Are you getting the metrics back of like, do you get to hear like how many minutes people watch? In a few days. A few days you get. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To hear how many

people turned it off in the first five minutes. Yeah. And how many repeat watches you have over and whatever. Yeah. So as John Hodgman says, you know, if you've already seen it, just let it play and walk away. Let's boost these numbers up boost my numbers up That's right salute me or shoot me is this the special Can you stick around we have to take a break but we're gonna be talking to an anarchist and also an entertainer sweet So a fellow entertainer you have a lot to talk and maybe a fellow anarchist I don't know how you feel about the guy you don't know what I do in my spare time

So you're just spare time with the government that relationship to it. Yeah A lot a lot of people would say we have to be there full time. No. They don't need me full time. You ever think about though running for any kind of public office? When I was like that, when I didn't know that I was going to be doing this,

I thought I was going to be like some type of politician or something. I was in a lot of like mock government and like you think government programs and stuff like that. And I was super convinced I had some. But then I don't like doing anything I'm supposed to do. I don't, I wasn't very studious. I like to get high.

You have a staff who can do all that for you. Now you can be whatever. So now I'm like, yeah, I could probably do it because Trump has set the bar very low. So maybe a total fucking idiot. Because whatever you want. you can get high. You can totally be like, yeah, I do crack, but also I think I'll do this job very well.

Yeah, and be a little like, maybe. Yeah, crack something worse. I mean, all right, well, we'll figure this out with the anarchist and the entertainer. We're gonna take a break. When we come back, we have more Sanjay. We have an anarchist. We have an entertainer.

We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this. Yeah. We have an anarchist. We have an entertainer. We'll be right back up with more comedy bang bang after this. Yeah Comedy bang bang we're back. Sam J is here the specialist salute me or shoot me on the max streaming platform firmly known as HBO max, but now it's just max just max no affiliation with HBO. Although I'm sure the parent company still is the They have a HBO tab on max What does that oh stuff from HBO and are you in that I'm in that you're in that it's also on HBO Is it on HBO? Yeah, baby don't just don't some e-short out here. How interesting how many times has it been on HBO? It's going to air is like 38 times 38 times Something like that's incredible.

Yeah. I wonder if there's the 38 club that people who watch it every single time it's on HP. I hope so. If you're a true fan of Sam J, you're a member of the 38 club. Yeah.

And if you prove to me that you watch it 38 times, I will send you a sample of my saliva for you to do whatever you want. Just a sample. Yeah, just a little bit. Just a little bit in a tube. You have. Not all of it. Just a little bit in a tube. You have been collecting all of it. You're just gonna,

what if you had every single bit of saliva you ever coughed up? I'm sure there's got to be someone out there. You ever see those weird, that show about like, what's it called like my weirdo shit that I do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's like,

the person I remember the one, the person who like tore the walls apart, the drywall and eight drywall. Yeah, yeah, they. You know, it's like the person I remember the one, the person who like tore the walls apart, the drywall and ate drywall. Yeah, yeah, they have like the weird addictions and stuff. Yeah, my weird ass shit that I do. There was a lady who ate the bacon, the on a soap powder. She wouldn't stop being the soap powder. Oh, I thought you said woman who ate bacon,

I was like, that's an answer. Nah, soap powder. I was gonna say bacon powder, but it was a soap powder. Yeah, we should be on that. Yeah, I'm gonna be very, like, a lot of people that we shamed back in the day will meet and have like an understanding of like, you could just be weird. They would have benefited from like, hey, like, you're just weird. Yeah, everyone's weird in their own way. Yeah, but I'm saying that they don't have a lot of team acts.

You and I should team up. Do something weird together. I'll be doing the same word thing or you doing a weird thing and I'm doing the thing that's adjacent to your weird thing. Like if you eat the drywall then I eat stuck up. You know I'm saying like it's in the family. Yeah, you make the drywall. I eat the drywall. Then I. But what's my weird thing? Well, I poop out the drywall and you eat the poop. I don't. Can you eat the drywall then I Well, what's my weird thing? Well, I poop out the drywall and you eat the poop. I don't can you eat the poop? I'm afraid that's not a good All right coming coming up on next season salmon. I are gonna be a teaming up on the show We have to get to our next guest

He's an anarchist and he's been on the show before quite a few years back But it's wonderful to see him again. Please welcome back Bane. Hello Scott. Hi Bane. Hi. Great to see you. Nice to be here. Thank you.

It's nice to meet you too, Sam. It's called a meet you too, Brian. Try to open that mask up. I'll try my best to know how fucked up this mask is. You can see. I noticed you paused before he said fucked up. Like, can I curse on madness. You can't see. I noticed you paused before he said, fucked up. Like, can I curse on this? I didn't know.

And Bane for an anarchy. This is clean. I appreciate you really wanting to stay by the rules. Well, you know me, I'm different now. I'm not doing the villain thing anymore. Oh, yeah, what happened? Well, by the way, Sam, Bane was on the show a few years back. It seemed to be like six years or so.

Sure, yeah. And you were trying to stand up comedy. And I'm so glad that we have a stand up comedian here because. There you go. Thank you. This is going to be difficult all interview. It's actually, I feel like it's easier

than what you are doing. It is easier. So first of all, thank you. But you are both comedians and I'm actually putting together my hour. Oh, okay. Sam, what happens when you put together an hour? Are you trying to thematically link everything together or are you just like, you know what? This is topped out at 60 minutes. This is when I go.

I think it depends on who you are. I like to get thematic with a bench, actually, as a thematic guy. Yeah, I think so. Like everything you do, like, I remember that one, you were in some town, I feel like it was like Gotham City or something like that. Yes.

And you... I don't like to talk about people who have like football field or something. Yeah. And like there was a quarterback running away from the bomb or something. Yes, you remember that? I started hoping people forget. So they get a laugh at my job.

But you're very thematic. What kind of hour are you working on? Well, I've been on strike recently. Are you part of the writer's skill? I'm pre-WGA. Let's just meet you. Don't have a job. Yes. Technically, I've got only fired.

I've never gotten hired. But I've been working, so I've been performing live a lot. Oh. And so I have a special, let's coming out on Frenzy. Frenzy, I don't know what Frenzy... What's Frenzy? It's Nissan's new app it's it's called frenzy is it exclusively shown it's only shown on the dashboard of

Nissan's and basically there's a few problems with it oh like what well you have to you supposedly you can't break or the special restarts which is a problem you're gonna have to watch it in chunks or on a very long, on a freeway. Yeah, like a very long car trip to Vegas. That's right. Yeah, with the cruise control. But I'm excited for it.

And the executives are coming to my show tonight. I'm going to put you in the road trip category on the app. There's a road trip category for a frenzy. Yes, I forgot what what streaming service I was doing my show. I said it just a minute ago. I'm memory I had COVID six times already. Oh really? You see my brain. I'm an anti-mask guy. I'm an anti-mask guy. I'm not the same man. I'm not the whole time. No, really I'm anti-mask. It's the whole time. No, really I'm answer now. So what? Well, I've been trying, I haven't some material.

I'd like to run by some established comedians. I would love that. I know you're including me when you're like this. Well, I consider you to be very funny. I think what would be funny? And I would like to maybe test some of my material out because I don't know. Sam, what do you think?

I mean, you, I would like to hear it. Sam also could probably help, you know, just work out some of the cases. I love some constructive credit. I got you. Yeah, okay. What do you have? All right? Here we go. Do you want us to pretend like we're in the audience or you just I'd love that okay? So just yes, so you should act like typical audience, okay? But but also voice your opinion. Yeah, yeah We want a professional opinion as well. I yes. Are we ourselves or are we like in character? Are we like short? You're maybe five, six in this scenario.

OK. OK. My, I can't hear. OK. Now I can hear. OK. And is that OK? We're an anti-headphone person.

I'm anti-headphones. I'm anti- almost every. So I'm five, six. And Sam is, what's our relationship? I'm Puerto Rican. OK. You're Puerto Rican and I'm five six. You're on a first day. We're on a first day. But I'll show you a professional comedian. Okay. We're ourselves. You're a five six and Sam is Puerto Rican and pansexual and we're on a date apparently. Yes. Why did they call it a fanny pack if you wear it on your belly Shouldn't it be called

the more catchy Abdomen pack are you got to stop stealing jokes? That's right. That's his tag line. That is that someone's joke. Yeah, you got some lifting other people's jokes I heard that who's I heard I and Cleveland God Who's who's I heard that in Cleveland? Oh, well, I've got a guy I'm sorry. I've never been to Cleveland. Well, that's a Tommy wall bangs jokes So you got a stop. Cleveland is where the Superman Superman or is you never ran across him right? I never did no He's he would probably like one punch and you'd be out. I know I'm he I mean I can only face mortal humans like you broke Batman's back Was it good memory Scott are you coming on to me? People who have good memories

Not a clean coming if anyone remembers anything I know they want to fuck this shit out of me Okay, why do we always have to par a little park? Why do we always have to par a little park? Can't we perpendicular park? And besides, shouldn't it be called Diagnol then straight? Diagnol then straight parking? Are you looking out for your cat spray?

Oh hell maybe! I'm trying out a new cat spray. I like that one. Oh hell maybe. It's not oh hell no, and it's not oh hell, yes, it's oh hell, maybe. That's fire. Oh hell, maybe it's fire. I like that.

Keep oh hell, maybe. I like to oh hell, maybe. What do you think of the actual bulk of the material? I think that is just moving too slow. And I also think that like in the middle, your voice is dropping out because you don't believe in it. Whoa, my seat just went down. Well, that's because you pressed that lever.

Is that what that does? I always thought that turned on the intercom for the tune. Why are you trying to turn on the intercom? I'm good to talk to my driver. Wait, you have a driver? Yes, I have someone waiting for you. Okay, go ahead and talk to your driver. Go turn on the intercom.

Hello, hello, Rudy. I have someone waiting for you. Okay, go ahead and talk to your dry good turn on the intercom. Hello. Hello, Rudy. He must be getting my pumpkin spice latte. Okay. Do you have more to add? Anybody into salads lately? Sam, you into salads? Why can't they make un-requaled lettuce?

Why? I would prefer if I could just buy 50 sheets of straight letters. Straight flat letters. Yes. Someone get dockers on the phone. They make one unwrinkled fans. Oh hell maybe. So you think the unwrinkled technology could transfer over to letters? Why not? I mean right right, uh, uh, right now, when I iron my lettuce, first of all, it reeks in the house. Why is that? Why can't you make the lettuce plain smelling when it's iron? Yeah, I think if you make anything hot, it starts to smell.

Is that, uh, are we still in the jokes? Are you just having issues? No, these, oh, you've hurt my feeling. So badly. Is that are we still in the jokes are you just having issues? Oh You've hurt my feeling So badly by the way, how's it going? I see sparks you it seems like you're both hating me in the same the same intonation That's I just think that's a very specific complaint. I don't know that I've ever heard anyone play like all of these are relatable to most of the population. Do you think that that vein? Do you think it's a supervillain thing that the wanting flat

Let's know what you want to hear about my unique perspective about Batman or anything like that, right? Yeah, you want to hear about the mundane things that you could relate to. Wait, I mean, that is what makes you interesting the fact that you battled Batman. You know, I'm no so many dark secrets about Batman. You could do like a Kathy Griffin kind of thing, or you're just like, you know, story telling, but talking about, talking shit about famous people. Do you want to know about how Batman was on Epstein's island? You don't want to know about that.

He was on Epstein's island. You know how Tony Bennett just died? Yeah, how? Oh, I don't want to talk about that. You know how Tony Bennett just died. Yeah, how? I don't want to talk about that's not interesting. It's very interesting. It was Beb and Tren to arrest everyone on Epstein's Island. You know the FTX, Sam Bankman for you. Yes, you know that hopefully. Yeah, you don't want to hear about that. Well, you know, you were part of that. You don't want to hear about that? Well, you know what? You were part of that? For this joke to work, I want you to imagine

that gas prices are low. The long pass in order to figure out where you are. I can't help it. I felt like you were giving me the space to come in for a joke. I'm in for all. Yeah. I want you to imagine that gas prices are low

for this joke. How I actually saw gas prices are so low. Okay. They're so low. Oh, sorry. How low are they? Very low. That's it. That's that's that's it. That's the joke. Well, I have one more thing to do. Oh, okay. It's the blame of my existence. existence back to your original catchphrase Is she right not with what's the problem with that joke? Please explain is it the Well, well, we were talking about truth and comedy in the previous Yeah, and first of all gas prices are not really low No, and I said imagine in this scenario

I don't know sure, but what's the problem the problem? So you're already, where's the disconnect? You're already making people imagine something that's not true, which I'm okay with. But then the payoff, I feel like, has to be worth it. It's very, should I have said average, is that the problem with the joke? What if you twisted it the other way and you just started in with gas prices or so?

Why do we call it drinking? We certainly don't call it fooding. We call it eating. But we don't. We eat food, but we don't drink drink. Do we? Well, I guess we don't. We don't drink drink. Sort of, but different words. I propose. I propose the word is we change it to know Nene. We know Nene something. Okay, I don't think we're just eating food. We don't name it. Juice, you know, Nene, you're champagne. I see that the issue for me is like, you ever see one of those comics where they the bane of your existence. I was going to say it's a bane of my own hell, maybe. You see one of those comedians and they and they very confidently say a premise and

The more confidently they say it the more I think they realize the premise sucks because like you ever see one of those comedians And you're like that doesn't make any sense like I wish I could feel that I've never seen that or felt it Yeah, have you ever seen us stand up comedian live? I of comedian live. Let me think, does the children's, like a face painter at a children's party count? I don't think so. As a stand-up, I don't think so. They did make me laugh. Why? What are they painted on the child's back? And that wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to be their face. It was supposed to be their face. It was supposed to be their face. The child of sat. But the child was incredibly furious. It wasn't supposed to happen. And did the child had no actually no one at the party was no one in the party was watching except for me. Speaking of face painting, I once went to a children's birthday party

that a few celebrities were and they had a face painter and the very first person to get in line to get their face painted, making all the children weight was Louis Anderson. And he then walked around the entire party for the rest of the afternoon with a painting. That's on brand. It was so funny. And all the kids were like sitting and he had a bigger face than all the kids, so it took like an hour or 15 minutes. No way. That's awesome. But seriously, why does it feel so good to eat an apple but so bad to sit on one for an hour? Dang, that's deep.

I mean, I guess it would feel the same if you shoved it in your mouth for an hour. Well my friend gave me a ride the other day to Syracuse. This is not your driver? Well, I call him my friend. I feel like it's rude not to say. Rudy, if you're hearing me, we're friends. We're friends. So we gave you a ride to Syracuse.

He gave me a ride to Syracuse. I had to pay him. I didn't like that. But I said, I didn't want to say anything. He was an apple under my legs for an hour. And I was inconvenienced for 10 to 15 minutes after the ride was over. You and why didn't you get off of the apple or say like, Hey, Rudy, there's an apple.

It's just not me. You're not a rude guy. I'm a rude guy. We were battling Batman. You were one of the more polite villains. Me killing people killing children, Yeah, I'm a rude guy. We were battling Batman. You were one of the more polite villains. Me killing people, killing children, hitting dogs on the head with my bare fists. That's in the past. Was that in the movie ever? I remember that. No, that's something I never told anybody of them.

You would like, so a dog would come around here. Think about how funny this is for a minute a dog wants you to pet it looks so needy and you bang it on the head It dies instantly and the brain gets swished. I don't think it's how hilarious. I just I I didn't know the dog was gonna die Well, I thought maybe you'd be one of those guys You'd rather the dog just walk away severely injured Yeah, I'd rather go with it With it's tongue hanging out I'd rather be like in America's funny-as-home videos like Yeah, that's what was going on in my head

And it gets kind of a, like, annoyed look at you and walks away It walks away, and he's fine I do have a character I'm doing Oh, okay, would you like to hear it? Yeah, please Okay, this is a man who is disoriented from a nap Here we go What do you mean it's dinner time? I

Just I'm so thrown. I just I went to sleep and it was light out and it's still light out. What do you mean? sleep and it was light out and it's still light out. What do you mean? What year is it? Wow. So that's wrong. It was light out. Please sit down and explain to me what happened. I don't understand. This is turning into shutter island. Help me. I'm sweating. First of all, I sweat like a pig every time I'm in your... I know. And you're waiting. I ain't waiting. Let's close this time. I tried my best.

I don't know. Here's the other thing. You're holding your mask with one hand. And the bike's making... The sweat and spit are aggregating into the cup. And you're holding the mic with the other. So that means you can't hold your iPhone where all your material is. So there is a long, long pause.

Whenever you lose your place. You can't see it, but my nose is enormous. And I have trouble seeing over it. I've been, I didn't realize you had such an enormous nose. I do. What does it look underneath the mask? What kind of nationality are you? These take the mask off.

Please. What's that? Do you take the mask off at night? I'm going to no. No, no, no, no, no. What's that? Do you take the mask off at night? I do, yes. I take it off at night. Do you take it off to make whoopee? I mean, actually, my wife likes it on.

You're married, Mr. Married. Yes, I'm married. I can have no jokes about Mrs. May. You don't want to hear that. This is what's interesting about you. You're a guy who wears a mask in a relationship. I wear a mask and I ask, could I keep her socks on?

Whoa. How she fun. She's funny, so. We both like when the other person keeps a little something on, if you know what I mean. How did you guys meet? We met through Uber. Through Uber.

Yeah, was she a driver or a vice versa? No, she's a driver of Uber Eats Uber. I see and you were getting a delivery. I was getting a delivery of Rice just right. Yes Just right. I think it's very funny to order Six bags of rice for dinner My life is a bit My life is a bit. So this woman picks up six bags of rice is like, who is this lunatic? Dona, her name is.

Dona? Yes. Like Dona, but- Like Dona, but Dona. So like Dona, the fatigues. Yes. So Dona. Dona is like wondering who this straight person is.

It delivers it to you. Does she spark up a conversation? She is. She lives in my areas. She's delivered rice multiple times and then said, I have to ask, what's with the rice? And I had to tell her, I'm, you know, testing things out. It's funny. And we struck a conversation 10 minutes later we were screwing in my son in your what my son when I keep the dead dog you keep dead dog this is getting worked by the minute what's the difference between Michael Donald. Uh, last name. Oh, you heard this one. Okay. Step on me. I am stealing.

Shouldn't come pie tell you where not to go. What what come pie? Come. It's the plural for compasses. Oh, oh, okay. Come pie. Come, it's the plural for compasses. Oh, oh, okay. Come pi. Thank you. Thank you. I've been using come pi in conversation for years. Okay, are you getting strange looks?

I have, yes. Okay, yeah. You really should say come pi. I've been saying come pi. I kind of like come pi better. It's more sophisticated. What was your question? What about your question? What about Kumpi?

I was saying shouldn't it tell you where not to go? Shouldn't Kumpi tell you where not to go? It kind of does tell you where not to go. Like if you don't want to go that way. Yeah. Okay. Like if you want to go north and that's pointing south. Alright, so what should the joke be in? Why don't Kumpi tell you where to go? It does that too. You're just talking about Google Maps right now. I don't know about that. First of all, the sweat is going into my big hands. It's now in your mask and you're drinking it out of your mask. I'm a fucking pig right now. I'm a goddamn pig. Why is it always called Doordash? Speaking of Uber, why is it called? Why not Windows Slow?

Come to my window, bring me my stinky rice and talk to me for a bit. You know what I mean? I guess it. I mean, yeah, if you want to meet someone like Dona. You want to hear some other things I hate Wapper Jr. Right? Hmm. Hmm. Why not Wapper senior for the big one? For the big what for the big burger a wapper senior Well, there's a wapper the wapper is meant to imply that it's the biggest burger they have right because it's the wapper, right? Oh, so we start there, but a wapper but a wapper senior makes me think that it's like an old burger three days ago. I see you the senior part. You're an agent. Yeah. Throw the old people out. I put them on a bus and light it on fire. Watch the old women scream.

No, no, this is more your language. This is stuff you didn't got them city keep the old women down the stage no punk the old man on the head like the dogs rip the dentures out, keep them in their adult diapers that's what you're saying no I'm not saying that I'm just saying that that's where my mind goes when I hear the word scene okay that's where it goes it goes to

disgust no it just goes it goes to like I don't want to see you on the food. Yeah, for some reason, Jr. though, it doesn't imply like it's a burger made more recently. So maybe Bains right. Maybe she just be low-wap her. Yeah, a little whopper. Yes.

Yeah, little whopper. I like that little whopper. L.I. apostrophe. And big whopper, is big whopper would that be too much of a jumbo shrimp situate? No. That would be too much of a redundancy? Yeah, an oxymoron oxymoron is not what we're talking about. Yeah, maybe maybe double-wopper double-wopper Maybe the double because the double-wopper got to have two patties. Yeah, that's a good point

And a wopper already has two patties is that no, Wopper got one patty Wopper only has one, but where are they calling it to what because they just got mad stuff or because you got remember it was compete with McDonald's McDonald's just give you some onions some pickles it was like not we got lettuce we got to make all we got Sam over question for you do you do a lot of crowd I know crowd work is so popular these days on tiktok yeah yeah have you tried doing I do crowd work all the time if you could do some of us

we're on a date. It hasn't really gone well, but maybe you can help me tell me what I'm doing wrong. Yeah, try to. Okay, so where are you from? I'm from Detroit. From Detroit. And what do you do from the?

I'm from the Detroit. What do you do for a living? I'm a carpenter. A carpenter. That's interesting. Okay, so what what was wrong with him? Well, I mean what was wrong with him? When you say crowd work, like you did crowd nothing. You just like talk to the crowd. I'm so low on this goddamn to the crowd. I'm so low on this goddamn check. I feel like Rick Moranis. Do you mean in regular Rick Moranis or hunting I shrunk the kids? No, my neighbor, Rick Moranis.

You mean you live next door to Rick Moranis? You know Rick Moranis? I know of him. I mean, has he done anything? The only thing he got hit in the face in the game. Yeah, yeah. Has he done anything that you would know him from? A lot of movies Ghostbusters. He got hit in the face where you weren't the person who hit Rick Moranis in the face. Oh shit, did you have a right to look? No, of course not.

I would never hit anyone on the face except for a dog. And an old person in Rick Moranis is old. And Rick Moranis did play sort of a goblin dog and Do you have any more material? You want to give a subject now? subject like I'm in a cipher please Kamala Harris Kamala Harris okay she is uh... what's the deal with Kamala Harris

she's so tall give me again I'm a ripper I'm a ripper give it to me again same prompt don't change the prompt so wait so you want the same answer no same yes same prompt Kamala you'll the same answer? No, same. Yes. St. Prompt. You'll say, sir, come on. Okay, Kamala Harris. Kamala Harris.

You had nothing to worry. I do have something this time. Okay. Why is she building a fence in her backyard? Okay. Well, start again. One come on, Kamala Harris. Kamala Harris. So I'm walking down the street and I see Kamala Harris and I say, whoa, that's the way the cookie crumbles. And then she says, so I'm walking. And did I mention Kamala Harris was so tall. Say, how tall is she? How tall is she? Very tall. I learned nothing from my previous lesson.

I don't think you should be riffing. I think you're the kind of comedians who's like to me that should stick to the... You got to write the material. You got to stick to it. And then once the material is strong maybe then you'll feel more confident. We're writing good stuff though. Don't get discouraged. Just stop stealing. I'm so happy that you say so. Yeah, don't. I'm shooting the special tonight. I'd like you to do my executives are only coming tonight. They're only coming tonight.

Where are you taping it at? Where are you taping? I'm taping it at the Ace Hotel. On the roof or like on the front? Well, they don't know I'm coming. Oh, but I'll be there So kind of wherever you can get it off. Yes, it's like another terrorist act like in Gotham city I just abused people don't tell them that I'm going to do is are you gonna take the whole city hostage again like you did in Gotham and then force them to Why don't you talk about your heartbreak ever?

Yeah, my heart went through because like old girl turned on you at the end like down for her And then she turned against you All that feeling for her you find that in I just know there's some pain there that you could explore Don't you think though that we should go back to the good old days when people's last names Told us about what they do. Like what? Like Ryan Seacrest. What is he like to float at the top of a wave?

Maybe. Maybe. I like you're having maybe. He's just in case you were just in case you were. And this is a good, I think more comedians should end their jokes by saying allegedly. That would get me out of a lot of trouble. Name a celebrity. Name someone famous. I'll tell you how it worked. Okay, who do you, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Jamie Foxx.

Jamie Foxx. Wow, he's smart. A clever fox. Okay. Make me someone else. Uh, Dan Acroix. Okay Dan acroid Dan acroid okay Oh, no, okay, so Dan acroid Okay Oh, it's absolutely not. Okay. Dan Acroid, all right. Dan has trouble shitting and all know, I'm my ruins, my Acroid. This is a good place. He's the best Mr. Closer.

I can go backwards too. Did you hear about the man who got a bad deal on luggage? His name was Mark Return suitcase. Dad deal on luggage. His name was Mark Return suitcase. Backwards. Anything that's something that someone does. I'll get you a last take. All right, you're done with me. Bane, no, this is good stuff. I hope you have a shower. I do.

I do. I do. Right in that room. I truly do believe this is your i'm a wet little bit i do think this is your closer that's why we're going to take a break uh... when we come back we have another entertainer i forgot you were a stand-up committee you know what you want to but uh... three entertainer show this is very exciting will be right back with more sam j more bane will be right back with more

company bennie uh... uh... uh... We'll be right back with more Sam J more Bane will be right back with more company Bane But after this Company Bane Bane we're back Sam J is here salute me or shoot me is a special on HBO 38 times and you two can be a member of the 30 Adors the Sam J 38 and Hopefully you've got a jump on it already It's probably been on at this point by 15 16 times or. Yeah, let's get it. So the Sam J-38, we also have Bane out here who is taping a special tonight. I'm going to take out Los Angeles hostage.

I will kill them all with my humor sweetie. Thank you. You don't need to call me. Something's happening between us. Same. Can I wipe out your coat? Just start to gross me out. Yes. I think you need a beach towel though. All right. Let's get to our next guest.

He's an entertainer, a third entertainer show. This is incredible. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Benny Sands. Fly me to the moon. the first time Benny Sands Hello How are you doing? Not Josh Scott, but hey, whatever how are you? How are we? I'm doing good. This is Sam I'm a pleasure a wonderful pleasure. Yeah, I'm Bane and Bane wonderful player Bane's name, right? Bane, Bane, wonderful. See you Bane. How is everyone wonderful to see you wonderful to see you? I'm a singer, Scott, I'm an entertainer. You can come down anytime.

I've been down at the Flamingo for quite some time. I have a show down there that's about 14 shows a week. 14 a week. Wow, that's about seven a day for two days. Breakfast lunch and dinner on Thursdays and Tuesdays. Okay, wow. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight.

I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show tonight. I'm going to have a show. That's about seven a day for two days. Breakfast lunch and dinner on Thursdays and Tuesdays.

Okay, wow. That's in Las Vegas. That's in Las Vegas. Beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, America's playground. And how old are the Vittero Minari? Skyd our lady never tells, but but not a lady. So I will tell you, Scott The the voice is young and the soul is old. I've been out the body is even older So when did you get your soul? Well, I got my soul about three three years ago Scott we're doing a little thing out there now where you can do a soul swap if you ever heard of this. Oh wait I have heard it. Yeah, with so you did a soul swap with who?

You stand at the crossroads, you say a prayer and then you get a brand new soul and that's gonna carry me on for another lifetime if you will, like, congratulations. Thank you very much. That's why I'm the part. So many times. So you're a singer.

I'm a singer. Yep. Yeah. I'm a singer. And that is that you're main, the main part of your act. That is the main part of my, I say, I sing songs. I tell stories about the soul, the beautiful celebrities, I don't know, and'm a sing. And that is that your main, the main part of your act. That is my main part of my, I say, I sing songs. I tell stories about the soul, the beautiful celebrities. I don't know. How long have you been singing?

I've been singing for, I've since I was a young child, actually. Both my parents. We're trying to nail down a malware. Are we talking to your soul? So. Are we talking about my new soul age or my mind? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I don't know.

You tell me, baby. Well, the soul that I got actually belonged to somebody that was much, much much older it was an old soul that it was so drifting around and they swapped it in Yeah, so you have a young soul to you, but young soul to me It was actually a settler that had it was a roving settler soul that was a roaming the desert of Las Vegas Really, how's that changed your sound? It's changed my sound completely darling. I used to sound kind of bad now to my ears Sounds beautiful. Oh So take the masks off your ears as well because you have your masks for some really your masks. They look exactly like the face mask Yes, they're called ear muffs. I love it. So yeah, I've been out there singing for quite some time

I took you know I do songs I tell stories and tell some of the stories because yeah, yeah, you know I've met many celebrities just got what was it again? Okay, John I met many celebrities over my years You know Frankie Sammy Diane Alan way so Sinatra Davis Davis Keaton Diane fine Yeah, she was oh she was part of the she was part of the pack at one point and Alan front Alan front was a good friend of mine from candy camera. Yeah, so we used to just you know

We used to roll around. Oh interesting interesting. There's some fabulous stuff. So, yeah. The pack, what pack? Well, we called ourselves the sack pack. Now, that's a little bit different. What does that mean? Well, we were, I know it means big balls, right? That's right.

Enormous balls on everybody in the sack pack. And just, you know, we would drag him low and... What was dying fine, what was dying fine, what was dying fine, what was dying doing during all this? Well, back then she had big balls too, she's got... Yeah, yeah, yeah. She not covered in her recent,

she became a centrist, the more the older she got, but back then she would swing him. What did they look like? They had fun, they looked exactly like a face did what she'd done. Oh wow, okay, so she had... That's cool. Yeah, wow, but yeah, we would It was a good time. I mean of course. I was I don't I wouldn't able to go around with the backpack anymore because of the accident that I had Well, Scott I was chemically castrated It's not an accident it mind was oh. Oh, what? Mind was. Wow.

I was working on an old car battery. This was like Alan Turing, what happened to him? Yes, I was working on an old car battery. And, you know, I'm one of those guys that's like classic, classic car batteries. I'm into classic batteries. Yeah. I was a little bit lost.

I just collect the batteries. But what is working on it, Intel? Well, that's the thing. You know, you get a couple of guys. You get around the battery, you drink a couple beers, you open it up. And I was working on an old AC gel cold battery for my neighbor and that thing popped up and yeah I did I wasn't able to be in the backpack anymore They should not keep the all the chemicals that chemically castrate someone in old car batteries

They really shouldn't but that's how they that's how our cars runs. So are you like was okay? So just curious, was it so much castration that you had no balls or just not enough balls for the set peg? Oh, that's a great question. Yeah, burn me from the neck down pretty bad. And the dick neck or the dick neck down. It's 100 and dick head is in there.

So the head is in tech. That's fine. Dic neck down. Absolutely. It's powder. It's powder. So wait, you pulverize. So with the head still exists, but it's not a test day.

I don't want to get into the details. Scott, but basically what did the head still exist in my doctor? Wonderful man. Dr. Jim Newton. This goes out to him. But he was the whole podcast goes out to Dr. Newton there. Sam, are you comfortable with our segment earlier going? I am if he did good work on his ball shaft.

Yeah. And I didn't really want to get into this story, but of course I brought it up. And it's part of my show. Hey, you didn't want to bring it up, but you did and it's part of your show. This story is part of every show it's got, but I don't want to bring it up on a podcast because then people don't buy tickets for the show. You got to save some of those. You got to save it for the show. I mean, these people know that. You don't want to do all your best material. That's why they did do his best material. No, I have so much better material. Please pass that on. None of that's in his special. That's all

just the back pocket material. Yes, that's bullshit. So what is your show? Like, how do you come out to describe Woodhouse? Well, I started the back of the house singing. Why? Some who time and I kind of know any more of that song. Like that's not. You don't need the rest. That's the part everybody knows. I kind of do that. I give a little surprise. You know, no one ever expects you to start in the back of the audience. They're all finishing brunch. And I come back. I touch shoulders. I kiss babies all the way up to the stage.

And then, you know, you never can't deal with us. Because I feel like I just, I really like it when you summon, that's making me feel good. So how does it walk through? So I'll come through some of the time. Hello darling, hey babe, how are you? Some of the time. I just brushed my shoulder. I like that.

And I give a little kiss. I give a little touch. And then you know that's gotten me into trouble. Are you tapping young booties? I'm tapping. I used to. I don't anymore. Okay.

I times change. I like. And then I get up in the stage and then I... When did you stop? I was up. Friday? Yeah. 2000 Squad D3 it was Friday.

Yeah, and yeah, I get up on stage and then I open with my big opener, which is, well, that wasn't your big opener, taking summertime. No, that wasn't my big opener. I open my big opener story, which is, of course, the battery accident. I think that was the opener. Yeah, so you come out, you sing summertime, the word summertime, several times. Summoo time. Kiss shoulders, brush babies.

Yep, I've got a brush baby's hair. Tell me about that. I'll brush it. I'll tell people the beautiful, I brush a baby's hair. If the baby has crazy hair, I want to get that sling. You want to make sure that you get that down. I don't like a crazy baby's hair. And then you get on stage, tell everyone you've

been chemically castrated for a car battery. That's right. And okay, so that's the intro part of your head. Then what about that? That's the intro. Well, then Scott, you know, I like to relax things down. I have somebody bring out an armchair, and I sit in the armchair, they bring out a little table

with some water, and then I ask the audience, what would you like to hear? Do you change into like a smoking jacket? I change. I change on stage, so they know that the story about the batteries true Oh, this is your version of crowd. This is my version of crowd. We're all in the same We're all in the small entertainers and so then you take requests I take request and so they'll say you know, we want to see

Uh, you know, I'll say, wait stuff. They want to see you do Well, not not songs. This is the disappointing things got us a lot of them say we want to see Cirque du Soleil And I say no, we don't do that. I don't do that. We thought we were here for Cirque du Soleil. That's a problem that we've had. We want to see Beatles love. I say, get the hell out of here then.

Why would they think that they're there for that? I sell tickets to Beatles love out on the sidewalk. But if you turn it over, it says Beatles love out on the sidewalk, but if you turn it over it says Beatles love Benny Sam And because they did what I knew them what about the Cirque du Soleil shows Cirque du Soleil shows That's not the front and that's it's that's just a white a little white lie that I've got to tell to get them in the door Show business is rough these these entertainers know that show business and you got to do it whatever you can do I was on a good show once they're in the seats.'s what I'm at. I can't I say no guarantees Sometimes I even have a terrible show

Sure, sometimes most of the time Sometimes a show a show you could have people walk out and say that was terrible and somebody next to them say that was Wonderful. That's not in your control It's really is it two people next to each other saying that was terrible though. It's just two old guys up in the balcony that always are saying that was terrible. You might be in the Muppet Joe. If you had two old guys in a balcony. Is that what's his name, Jess?

Jeff Fox with his new, yeah, his new hook. Oh, I love Jeff. I used to hang out with Jeff a lot of it. A lot of wonderful people, Pest. Tell us a story. Tell us anything because I haven't heard a lot of your act at this point. You've sang one word, you've said that you brush people's hair. You tell a story about being chemically castrated,

and then you feel, I guess, complaints. Most of the show is about my chemical castration at the hands of a car battery. But then I do take some, I take some requests, which turn into complaints. People usually, you know, then I'll lose about two-thirds of the audience. Two thirds, right.

And that's when I go into my, that's when I go into some stories. I see you. You're the biggest legend. I'm the biggest legend. And so, I'll tell the story about being at a table. With Snotra, Sammy Davis Jr., Diane Feinstein and Diane's Roland Snake Eyes Roland 7,11 and You know Diane Feinstein's there at the table and then I'll finish up with the summer time and

You're just repeating things you've said before at this point. I mean, just got if you ever been in Las Vegas Yeah, I just was there. Oh really what did you come to my show? No, I saw you too Yeah, I just was there. Oh really what did you come to my show? No, I saw you two You saw me also yeah, you blew it You saw you too you saw me also right you two should have an opener called me also Great you to cover ban me also. Oh, yeah, they're playing over at that, that spare. Oh, terrible. You ever play in a circular venue? I would never, Scott. I don't want to see, I don't want anybody to see all my side.

All squares and cubes. Yeah, you never want anybody to see all sides of the performer. I got to stay front facing or back facing. When I walk through the audience, they can't see the back of my head. Never want them to see my side. Go to Reno and play the cantaloupe. What's the, what's the cantaloupe?

It's, it's sort of like this fear but it's smaller. It's smaller. It's not it's kind of stinks after a few weeks. And this bumps all over the fussy. Yeah, the sphere is a big problem and love Vegas right now, Scott, because you know, that is interrupting flight patterns of migratory foul. I had no idea. Dead birds all over my yard Oh, this dead birds all over my yard. There's dead birds all over your yard today. They're flying into the sphere. They think it's the sun.

They think it's the sun. And they want to fly into the sun? Will they follow the sun, Scott? And so when the birds follow the sun, they just fly right in the side of that sphere. Okay. So now it seems like you really, you came in here with a few things.

You came in here with Frankie and Sammy and Diane find something. And Alan's down. You forget Alan's fun. Alan's fun was the most, he was pivotal. He was pivotal at that time. He was keen. Everybody loved Alan's fun.

But now it seems like you're repeating those over and over and over. What's, Scott, can you think of the bigger legend and Alan's fun and Diane finds that guy who created candy camera? Yes. And he would come out and you'd say, I'm Alan, but the only reason anyone knows who he was is because he would come out and you'd say, like, Alan, fun, and he would come out. He, you know, sometimes he'd join the act.

And, you know, and everybody was expecting a goof to happen like, you know, my water glass being glued to the chair or something, but he would do that. He wasn't really a joker in his personal time. Right, but this wasn't personal time. This was during the backstage. Yeah. So he would do that. He wasn't really a joker in his in his personal time. Right, but this wasn't personal time This was on stage So he would do a few jokes, but yeah, Ellen's fun. He was a He was a very good man. What do you do? What do you do in your show?

It's got then I come out and then I'm you know, so I'll sing You've heard this you've sang summertime. You've come out. You've told the story of you be chemically castrated what happened I would pay so much money to see the show This is what I call a show I surely don't need anything else that What sounds like a five minute experience? God I'm not gonna tell you how to buy a ticket do you know that thing where? Do you know that thing where you, do you know that thing where you can hold one leg and then you can jump over the leg with the other leg? Yeah, can you do that?

I can't do that, but that would be something that I could include in my time. You could have that, you're an idiot. I could do that. If I wanted to include something more in my show, but I could do something like that and then sing summertime. Yeah.

And, you know, do you tell mob stories? You have any mob stories? Oh, the mob, the mob, the mob, they're not called the mob, honey. They're called family. Summit, are you part of the mob? Summit, okay.

What's got, you know, the mob is just, their own operators is what we call them. They're part of the system. They're business people. They're part of everything. Just like you and me. Just like you and me. And then, they, they they they they they ask for a little bit on the side. They ask for a little bit on the side. Sure. They want to wet their beaks. They want to wet their

beaks. Like these dead birds in your dead birds, bloody dead birds all over my yard. But they, you know, that that that it's just part of the culture of of Las Vegas. If you want to play in Las Vegas, you're going to have to make some friends in the family as a here's what I'm thinking. Yeah. I think the three of you need to team up. Okay, because the three entertainers, the three entertainers, this is a show with three entertainers on it because Sam, you, you have an hour, you, you have an hour special. I assume you can do an hour. And then Bane, you say, you want to say we use a team up with set trick the entertainer? No, no, no, no, I think, I think the, uh, the three of you, Sam will, Bane, even though I don't think you have a half hour, I think you're

going to be you have a two out. Okay. I think you're going to have to middle. You seem to only have five minutes. He's definitely got open. You can maybe stretch it to 10. You can open with the chemical castration part. I open with the chemical castration. I'll close with summertime. Sure. And then he can do some of the the the the the the the nay. Oh, you know my last name is sans. There's one Yeah, sans like the dunes right is so how did he get his name? He walked the dunes The the dunes he walked the dunes. Let's go backwards again Yeah, have you ever like not gone to the the dry cleaner and they don't have your clothes? You mean, uh, Stephen missing suit?

Is that what you're talking about? That's the guy I'm to make it up. By the way, I do, I'm, my, one of my characters I do is based on Cedric, the entertainer. Oh, really? It's, it's Cedric, the center-tainer. Oh, oh, oh. And he plays with sense various smells. Oh my goodness. Like a hero? Sure.

Hey look, this is a pie baby. That's a cherry pie. Anyway so. Some look tight. Thank you for saving me. Maybe yeah, maybe you guys need to come out simultaneously. I would love it. I used to work. I used to work.

I used to work at Double Act. But, you know, what happened with a Double Act? Well, you know, because it seems a lot like your act is missing like another person adding stuff. Yeah, that, when you work at Double Act for years and years and years and then you go to a solo act, sometimes it's hard to find that other missing piece. And so, you know, I need a little bit of, who was the other person it was a Jim Belushi he's still with us Jim Belushi yeah Jim Belushi was what was happy to get his name Bane

uh Belushi oh well first of all he's very embarrassed but he doesn't pronounce it right so he's sad and embarrassed he says I'm blue shy which changed into Jim blue. She I'm Jim Blue she and everyone says does that do you mean shy? He says well, that's my name Bane don't wear it out Please sing summertime You guys would be really Okay, you get in the double-eyed Be really And totally shitting apart I think you're garbage

That's nasty This is one of those nasty programs. I was I was afraid of that. I haven't talked to my daughters for years because of this career You have daughters. Oh, yes. Dona? I have daughters with Dona, yes. Really? Yes, and I just don't go home anymore because I'm on the road so much. They have to be very young.

Who cares? Because she was in Uber Eats, uh, employed. Yeah, that's really been around a few years. When? So you don't talk to your, like, presumably one or two years? Three or four years. Three or four year old daughters? Yes. I don't talk to them at all I don't know anything about them. It's so sad. Just go into their room and have a conversation. No, no way

I'm on the road, baby You I it's not I'm keeping my auntie. I have so many good jokes and it's at the expense of my children. See talk about your children You can have like a Louis. Oh wow Talk about his children. I would I talk about my children when I can talk about have you ever seen the show succession? Oh, why isn't that show about mommy and daddy doing a sex act? I thought it was a suck session. Some would say there we go. There we go. There we go. Totally awful until you started singing.

What's wrong with that one? What's wrong? I don't know. What isn't right with it? I don't think we have time to get into criticism of your act. I just, yeah, I don't know. What do you say you guys want to team up? I would love to team up anytime. I mean, we you know in in Las Vegas We say you know, it's the we're always trying to come up with new and interesting things to put on in Las Vegas It's really the cultural hub of America. So we're looking for new things all the time. Yes

Yes, I would love to do that Sam. Will you prove home with us? No, no, I will I will mind. I will just tell me the date and then if you are And then I'll the data you do Thursdays and Tuesdays and Tuesdays and Tuesdays and every Tuesday and every Tuesday I'll do the morning show you got a morning show we got a morning show 7 a.m I'd love to do 7 a.m. to 710 I have the headline though. I don't that that's the only rules, I don't care. That is completely fine. I'm so tired of doing my show, Scott.

You know what I mean? You get to the point where you just want to go home and work on a car battery at the end of the day. Just like, don't work on another car. Oh, I'm still working on car batteries. That's my passion. I've got cars, I've got batteries. I'm afraid that you're going to now evaporate the tip of your penis, which is somehow attached to you. Not the way John put it on if you're tip of your penis evaporates theoretically you could sniff it up right you know what sniff sniff it oh like inhale it yeah what if you're you mentioned oh I think this is a setup I'm this is good so if you're too always trust me it's not a setup

it's a genuine question does he need to be ready with different types of do you mention evaporation penis? he did I mean he got his neck from the neck down right so technically you'd be able

to know that the sniffing part with no one mentioned what starts the neck of the penis I don't know the well would be the next start like right under the head. I think yeah, you know, like the boys are wearing a color changes because you know, sometimes a dick. Yeah, right. Yeah. The color definitely changed. Yeah, yeah. Is it the color change? I think it's where the Adam's apple starts. Yeah. When you the pain, I'm afraid you have to stick your cancer. I have something called a node in the middle of my penis.

Pleasing some more time. Pleasing some more time. Well, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Yeah, the midsection. I want to understand though, like, where the fanny pack would go. I mean, you would think that there would be a penis on the penis if you're talking about a pelvis. It's a great point. That's a good one. There's a lot of people in a penis. A penis on a penis.

What's that? A penis on their penis. And then a penis on that penis. I think it's head, neck, shaft, balls, and shoulders. Head shoulders, knees and toes. Their shoulders. They're to some. Yeah.

Dr. John had to put some on mine. Oh, to give us a baby. He puts shoulder pads on your penis. I make sense. Just to give it a little bit. A baby. The 80s dynasty. The 80s.

We were on the stage. It's just a polo who penis. We were on the same wavelength for once. Oh my god, I'm just being in so- The ball is getting better at this. Please say oh no and you please say summer time. We're running out of time. Summer time.

Oh. Okay, look. Guys, we are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called plugs. Get high, then when I'm back to the podcast, I can sit down and laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. The plug back, plug back, open up the plug back, plug back, plug back, open up the plug back. Promote your shit, bitch, promote your shit, bitch. Oh, all right.

A few drums at the end. I'm sure I appreciate the name calling, but thank you so much. That was open. Then no, that was promote your shit by Flop Dunkerman. Thank you to Flop Dunkerman. If you have a plug's theme, head over to comedybangbingworld.com slash plugs or CBBWorlds.com slash plugs. And you can be heard on the show. Okay, Sam, what do we plug?

And obviously we have Salupe Me or Shoot Me, which is out there 38 times on HBO, also on Max. Also Bing, you can Bing, you can search for it on Bing. You can Bing it. The Bing's still around? Yeah. Bing that shit. Bing that shit. I believe that they used it in one of the first Spider-Man movies.

Bing is ass jeez still around. I don't think so, I love jeez. I love jeez. That's one of my favorite characters. You think that IP is still available? I would love to get it if it is. I would love to work on an love jeez. I love jeez. That's one of my favorite characters. You think that IP is still available I would you should get it if it is I would love to work on an ass jeez movie with you. I would do a ex He's like a Barbie type movie about a jeez and the real world and people yeah trying to make him slave And he's like I got a heart and a soul yeah, I'm a

person you asked okay, I'm gonna need you to write the majority of this. I'm gonna put my name on it I don't have anything to do. Okay, great. Anything else you want to plug? What else is going on? Man, really, you know, just watch the special, salute me, shoot me on that. New season of SNL, obviously.

Look, watch my old stuff on SNL, I guess. Change her Wikipedia, so it doesn't say she's currently on SNL. Change my wiki, and watch, salute me, shoot me. I'm really proud of it, and I hope you fuck with it. All right, wonderful All right wonderful and Bane what do you want to plug? Let's see well my show tonight and also I have a sitcom coming out to a sitcom. What kind of sitcom is it?

It's about it's a unique my unique brand of You know when I bring to the table. Okay. Yes. So, like, a hundred improvement was like, it took Tim Allen's act. Right, so I, it's none of the villain stuff, which wouldn't make sense at all. It's just me moving in with my parents on their donkey farm. Did you do that? It's called a bean in the ass. And basically what it is, you like it? You like it? No, that face I'm making is I don't like it.

But guess, but there's a hook to the show. I feel like you've already said it. Yeah, and my parents, me get this, me and my parents get along. So there's no dramatic tension in the show. Well, I also like playing pasta on the show. So that's... Would you do what to pasta? I like playing pasta on the show. So that's what you do what to pasta. I like playing pasta. Playing?

That's my personality trait. And my parents, you know, they also like it. So there's tension there. No butter, no sauce. Get out of town. Just that's my catchphrase on the show. Oh, it is. Get out of town.

Get into town is really because you're on a farm. I would think it's more like get into town. Like get out of here get into town is because you're on a farm I would think it's more like get into town like get out of here it's yes I just I not to punch up your material it sounds like you need a show runner here and now the WGA strike is over I have not received a single call I could probably you're so good job okay, so what's it called? Bain in the ass. Bain in the ass is coming out on frenzy. And he's having a frenzy.

He's having a frenzy. Overall with frenzy. Either way, they're all the other days. He is. He's having an under all. He's having an under all. With, with, with, he's having a frenzy. Okay.

And, Benny, Sans, what do you wanna plug? Come on down to the Flamingo, of course. He had two days and thurses and two days rather. See the show, you could come Thursdays and two days. You could, you could, you could give him the one. Depending on how you mark your week. I start out the weekends, if you know what I mean. And check out Meg of the podcast.

That's a great podcast to listen to. So does that have anything to do with Meg too, the trench? Yes, it's a podcast about Meg too,. So, does that have anything to do with Meg 2, The Trench? Yes, it's about podcast about Meg 2, and we've done over 200 episodes on it. And this is years before it ever even came out. Years before it was about the development process, we talked to all of it, you know, where it came from, the guys who wrote it

and then the reception, of course, and... Great podcast, great. Meg of the podcast, all about Meg 2, The Trench. That's right, Meg of the podcast. And also about a mega church very fun Yeah, I want to plug look some great stuff happening over there at CBB world. We the neighborhood listen is coming to CBB world So that's very exciting If you have not heard any of those the previous four seasons. We're also going to be having new stuff up there

and we have CBB presents. And Kustopia is not on there. So if you're looking for anything regarding Kustopia, that will not be there. But everything else is there. Scott hasn't seen so many great shows over there. Go head over to CBBWorld.com. You can also get the comedy band-biting book over there. Everything is over there. All right, let's close up the old plug-back Hey, all right, that was I want you back by George Majesty. Thank you to George Majesty and guys I want to thank you so much Sam Such a pleasure to have you on the show for the rest of my hope you'll return. Oh, I hope you will have me back I really had a fun time will it take another special for you to come back or come back to hang out I feel like I got the rhythm. Yeah, you're in this. It's one thing here and in this other thing sitting in this.

So this waking light was with these guys too. It's fun. Being so good to have you on the show. It's so good to be here. Don't make it another six, seven years in between appearances. Well, I need materials before the next one. Wait, that took you seven years away. That took me 25 years for not. Oh, okay. Why would you want to hear about my life? Just at one

point, start writing material just based on your actual feelings. Not my boring feeling. Yeah, not about like how people got their name. How did Julia Roberts get her name? Oh, well, she didn't have a good time with budget rental car. And she got kicked out, she robbed her, she robbed her rental car. She robbed it. Yeah, cars are the money that they have in the car. Well, she's robbing her, Julia Roberts robbed her. You see, you see you see help me

He's gonna help you Thank you so much Benny San so good to meet you and good luck to both of you and I hope that you have a great Wonderful duo act. I really think you have something really special together I think it's gonna be incredibly awful the part fantastic. Yeah You put your cup down as if you're done. Yeah, and it's up to the brim. What do you hear, Saint Diplo? What do you want to wash it out now? I need to hose it out. We'll see you next time. Thanks bye. I want to get back here now!