Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Scream Time (Sarah Silverman, Erin Keif, Talia Tabin)

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

This week, 13-timer Sarah Silverman joins to discuss her thoughts on magic, Call of Duty, and how the death of her parents inspired her new stand-up special PostMortem (on Netflix). Then, disgraced College Football Coach Biff Brisket drops in to discuss his new job planning bachelorette parties. Finally, Motivational Speaker Elsie Lynn inspires parents to lean into being a shitty parent.  Get the newest CBB t-shirts at podswag.com/comedybangbang Check out Sarah's new special PostMortem on Netflix 5/20/25 Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

I I see London, I see France. Wait, let me double check. It's only Quebec. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Oh boy. I really had, it was a game time decision. Do I say Quebec or Quebec? And I chose Quebec.

And I think I meant to say Quebec. And then when I got there, my lips just did what they naturally did, which is to say Quebec. So hopefully if you are Quebecois, you do not take any offense, but welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. We hope you do not take any offense. That's another good tagline for us.

We hope you do not take any offense. That's pretty good. We just started one Comedy Bang Bang, we care. We hope you do not take any offense. That's pretty good. We just started one comedy bang bang, we care. We care. And we do care about you and we care about you enjoying today's show. Coming up on the show, we have a college football coach. We also have a motivational speaker.

And we have an actress slash standup comedian. Any other jobs? Uh. No. No. No. No. And anything else on your taxes that you have to claim?

Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. No. No. I was gonna say the back end. have to claim? No. No, I was gonna say it's a back end. Let's welcome her. I meant to look up how many times you've been on the show. I'm gonna do that while I do your introduction. Come on, bing, bing, come on.

She is an old friend of the show. She is a standup of note, ex Saturday night live cast member. is a standup of note, ex Saturday Night Live cast member. Yeah, that's right. It just celebrated the big five-o. And that's a number, and I'm trying to count while I say that number, and it didn't work out.

I'm gonna count, I'm gonna mouth the words. Here we go. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, she is making her 13th appearance on this podcast. If you can believe it, 13th appearance. Her last appearance was two years ago. And then it was six in between that one and the one before.

Was there strife? I don't think there's any strife between us. At least I'll buy it. Please welcome back to the, oh, by the way, her new standup special is out tonight. It's called Post Mortem. Please welcome back Sarah Silverman. Hello.

Hello. I've had to cough. Hold on, let me cough. Ahem, ahem, ahem. Why not do it while I was talking? As I was had to cough. Hold on, let me cough. Why not do it while I was talking? As I was trying to be polite. This is my voice, this is my voice. This is my voice. This is the lowest my voice goes.

Pretty low. I think I can go lower. Okay, let's try. This is the lowest my voice goes in Israel. Not bad. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Are you an alto?

Have you ever tested your range? No. Why not? I don't know. You could be a soprano. What's the highest you can go? This is the highest my voice goes. You could be, you actually could be a mezzo soprano

or something. Oh my God. Wow, wouldn't that be, What if you went into opera in your later years? I think that's a great idea. If I just, if I start training now. You can get good at anything in my opinion in three months. Anyone or me? Anyone can get good at anything in my opinion in three months Anyone or anyone can get good at anything, you know when you see people doing things

It's always just they've they've trained more than you, you know, so just three months and do it. Yeah Yeah, exactly. That's how I feel about magicians and I know I'm hard on magicians I know I didn't want to say but I just I just five minutes into the episode and they're coming up, finally. But, and I know this is obnoxious cause you can say this about anything, but I always am just like, great, you just, you learned a trick that I didn't learn. Yeah.

I don't know why I'm so like competitive or like angry about it. I don't know why that is about me. I mean, it's pretty, comedy's pretty much the same thing, but just magicians, I just, I don't know. It's like they do this thing and they have this air about them. Like they are magic That's right. But comedy I think is it's a skill that of course not anyone can acquire. Of course I mean magic too and there are magicians. I mean like you're already backing off. Wow. I just

I don't know. You don't want to stick to your guns about this. Whereas like Tall John and probably you, I'm guessing, like love the Magic Castle. I just like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Someone who has been there twice in my life. I don't know whether I love it as much as I did there. Tall John loves it. All right. So you're saying you want to get a Magic Castle group together and go without what you're

saying? No, I don't. Now that you're- And they serve want to get a Magic Castle group together and go? No. Is that what you're saying? I don't. Now that you're... They serve dinner there. I don't know. What's wrong with dinner? Are magicians making it?

Eat before you go, you fucking bougie piece of shit. Although I do... Magic is just footwork. How do you mean? I mean... Primarily, the hands are a lot of magic. That's true, but it's just really like about just going the distance that people would assume you wouldn't do. One time I was watching Columbo and there was a magic trick on it.

Did I ever tell you this? No. Oh my God, I was so obsessed about it. I watched it by myself and so then I was able to do it when Rory got home. That's my live-in lover and So he came home and I go pick a number between one and five and he goes three and I go Look under the blender and then he looks under the blender and there's a note that says I knew you were gonna pick number three And he's like no way. way. And I'm dying laughing.

He's laughing. You just put notes like five different notes in five different places, right? He goes, how does everyone pick three or how is it work? I go, no, he goes, well, what if I picked one? I go look under the candle. You know, it's so dumb. It's so dumb. This was on Columbo.

How did this factor into Columbo solving a murder? There was a magician on it. Oh, and did he kill people? I think so. I want to say it was Hal Linden. Hal Linden, of course. I may be misremembering. Barney Miller himself.

And he was a magician who, in the course of doing a trick, killed his assistant, I'm presuming. I don't really remember, but that sounds- But you remember that particular card trick. Oh, I was so excited when I saw it because it's so fucking stupid. And it had him baffled. He was blown away, blown away. Oh.

Ah, fun. Well, welcome back to the show. Lucky 13th appearance here, and one on the television show as well. That's right. Yes, we had a great episode there. Yeah. A lot of fun that day.

Love that show. And you have in between the last time you were here two years ago and now you have honed your craft. The craft we're talking about stand-up comedy. You went out on the road. The real magic. That's right. And you performed these tricks of the trade

that we call jokes, setups, punchlines, and you toured. How long was the tour before you filmed the special? It was on and off, but the first dates I did were in June. Of? Of 2024. Whoa. And then the last show I did was April 28th.

Well, so that worked a nine month long tour. But it wasn't straight, but there were like three months straight and then like another. Wow. And did you have pretty much the same material the entire nine months or did you Sort of get rid of a bunch that you were doing in the first part of it and come up with new stuff or what?

What was the process for you? He is a mix. I mean when I started I had like 35 minutes and Where people disappoint when they came to see you and it was 35 minutes later. You're like good night No, I I filled the time but it was bullshit with stammering yeah I never do old jokes because I don't remember them like they just go right out of my head special no tell you what next time you're in this position do your 35 minutes and then wheel out a big AV cart with the TV on it and then go here let's watch my special together and do some of these jokes.

I thought you were gonna say we're gonna watch, what was that? Blood on the Highway? Would've been great if I had access to the thing I was gonna say. I'm thinking Blood on the Highway is the driver's ed. Like the day after tomorrow or what was that one where we had to like, everyone was like,

watch it with your kids and then you have to have to watch, you know, it was like. I remember day after tomorrow was a big thing. That's the nuclear war one. Nuclear war one with Jason Robards. And we talked about it in my church where it was like, everyone needs to watch this and everyone, you know, and like, especially the religious, right at the time,

like what is their take on it? Like, we're trying to get there. We're trying to like, we want everyone to, we want this to happen so that we can all go to heaven, I don't know. Well, that's why like the religious right is always super pro-Israel because it's not like they like Jews. They just need all the Jews to be there for the end time so they can go to heaven. Very, very topical.

Sorry. Little. But in any case, you started with 35 minutes and then you padded it out with musings, I would imagine? I mean, yeah, I don't know. I just kept talking. But I had like 35 minutes and like probably 28 of it was strong. And then I, you know, just, so I did, the first gigs I did, it was like at the punchline

for a week or in that Denver Comedy Works for a week just to- It's like, standards are lower, you know, you're there. Yeah, and the audience is so supportive. And it's like work, it's like what, I'm letting them know, like I'm just figuring this out. Yeah. And then I-

And you probably made the ticket prices half price, right? They were much cheaper than at a theater, of course I'm joking, but I think it's I Mean people put paid top dollar to watch some comics work shit up. Yeah, not you not you That's right. That's right. They pay working man's comedian. That's right You're the comedian of labor. Yeah You're the comedian of labor. Yeah. So then nine months later, suddenly you have-

Speaking of labor. Yeah, really. What do you think of that movie, Nine Months, starring Hugh Grant, lover of blowjobs. He came to my last show. He did what? Yeah. Tell me about it.

I don't know, I just heard he was there. What? Well, he couldn't, he didn't get to come backstage because I lock up all the phones and then he couldn't he couldn't he didn't get to come backstage because I lock up all the phones and then he couldn't like text Jimmy Carr went on before me. Were you in the UK at this point? Yeah. So his phone is in a yonder pouch or something like that so he can't text Jimmy Carr to say I want I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him.

And as much as he loves blowjobs, I love him. Wait, do you, let me ask you a thing. Do you hate blowjobs? I say this, he's famous for it. We all love blowjobs. What, he got a fucking handy from somebody on Hollywood Boulevard. Maybe it was a blowjob. I'm sorry.

I may have to amend it and say he's a famous lover of hand jobs. I mean, I would say he probably loves hand jobs and blow jobs as much as any other fella. But he's just notorious for it. Yeah, I mean, it's funny. I remember her name, Devine Brown. Wow, I don't remember this.

I don't know why I remember it. It was a very important day in history. For Jay Leno. That's right. Yes, he really made the most of that. Now, the special is called Postmortem. And there is a particular reason for that, is they're not Sarah. Tell us why you titled it thusly.

Because, well, postmortem is what you say after like a show or something. But also, it's a thing in doctor speak, right? Jared Thing in doctor speak, yes. Sarah Yeah. Well, I watch the pit, so I know a lot of the jargon. But yeah, a year ago,, it was just their yard site, yard site, they had my pit,

my dad and my stepmother died two years ago, like yesterday or actually- Two years ago yesterday. Actually, hate to say it, Cool Up's birthday was my dad's second year. Did they pass away both on the same day? Nine days apart. Nine days apart. Nine days apart.

And one was on Cool Up's birthday? Yeah, my dad. Do you think your dad is eating Cool Up right now? Oh my God. His soul. Passed into her. Oh my God. Maybe. Wouldn't that be great? Is she upstairs? She is upstairs. Daddy?

Yes, honey. I was trying to do a New England accent, didn't really work out. Oh God, he had the thickest to do a New England accent, didn't really work out. Oh God, he had the thickest Boston accent, New England accent. Your dad was very funny. He figured into your act quite a bit. Yes.

He also is in your musical. He's a character in your musical, The Bedwetter, which I saw off Broadway. You did. It's really gotten good. We just did a run in DC. Oh really, it was great when I saw it. Now it's one act.

Whoa. New song, cut a couple songs, added a song. But it was crazy because I was on tour nonstop talking about my parents' death. And then I paused for a month to go work on, be at previews. The show previews of The Bedwetter, which is about their life. So they're young and it was an interesting juxtaposition.

Hopefully it'll be a Broadway in the spring and it would be a cool, I would think, to watch the special and watch the play kind of as a companion piece. Odd companion pieces. That'd be amazing. So there's plans for the spring when young men's flights turn to fancy. What's that?

I don't know. But so it is spring of 2025 or no 2026. What year is this? Yeah. Fantastic. Y'all y'all. And so you're talking about this experience in the special quite a bit.

Yeah, it's really a lot about their deaths. Were you there for it? I was. I've never asked you this stuff personally because I just figured I'd catch up on the special. Save it for the air. Yeah, save it for the air. It's good.

Yeah, they, well, Janice got cancer, it was terrible, and she loved life so much, and my dad was just a mess. I will tell you that this isn't a special, but an example is we have them, we would have them record their doctor's appointments and then put it on our WhatsApp chain, our family WhatsApp chain so we could all listen to it and make sure everything was being taken care of. And on the day that Janice got her stage four pancreatic cancer diagnosis, the doctor says, I'm so sorry, stage four.

My dad's reaction, you literally hear him go, I'm a widow! I'm alone! She's so fucking deeply crazy. I know. I'm a widow. I mean, I had to, you know, I have to call it. I know exactly well.

I didn't want to correct him that it was widower. It didn't seem like the time, but it did like stick in my craw because I'm my mother's daughter, who is very big on grammar. And I had to tell him like, you cannot talk this way in front of your alive wife. Right. But he just was like the thought of living life without her. And he pretty much died of a broken heart. Like he, he wanted to go. It was a great, his was a great death. He just didn't want it to hurt. And it didn't because, um, oddly the doctor said he was

going to die of kidney failure, which happened to be a painless death. And when I told him, first of all, I shouldn't have taken a beat, but I was like, dad, great news, you know. He's like, whoa. But once he knew it wasn't going to hurt, he was thrilled. He just wanted to be with his Janice. And it was a great last few days of just kind of laughing, telling stories. We watched the series Beef. Look, if I was about to go, that's where I would spend 12 hours of my time probably. And this is close on the heels of your mother's death as well, which I was, at least a few years.

Is she dead? It's almost, it's like nine years ago. Oh, was it nine? Oh really. It went so fast. I think COVID also skewed everyone's senses of time. But I do remember that story you told me about how your doctor gave everyone the news

that she was gonna go like in the next 24 hours or something. So the entire family flew to be with her and then she was like fine and going, what are you guys all doing here? Yeah. As a matter my friend knows I was dating Michael Sheen at the time and I was supposed to go to Wales with him and I'm always like, I don't know stressed about travel with lovers, I don't know why I just And expectation of so much lovemaking you're gonna have to perform

I don't know but but I had to pull out of it last minute because my mom, of course, which is understandable, and then I'm such an asshole, when she didn't die, I made her record an apology video to him. Which is horrible, but funny. Well, it's a major milestone in our lives that we all will go through. Unless, God forbid, we die first, which we don't wanna do.

Poo, poo, poo. Yeah, so it was an interesting experience, I'm sure, a very heart-wrenching experience. It was heart-wrenching, but a lot of funny things. And your dad is such a character, too. Oh my God. Just you telling any story about him is always very funny. He, yeah, he was so funny.

So how many minutes did the special actually get up to? Was it still 35? I know, then it was like over an hour and then I like chipped it down to, it's like probably exactly an hour. But if you watch it, watch the credits with the sound on because you see pictures of all the stuff I talked about and some video and some audio like his store, Crazy Sophie's Factory Outlet, like his horrible radio ads. That's right.

What were his ads that he used to do? Was he in character? I can't remember. Hey, I'm Crazy Donnie, Crazy Sophie's husband. Sophie was a made up name because he sold ladies clothing, you know? When I see the prices at the mall, I just wanna vomit. Oh, yum, makes you wanna shop.

Then he lists like a billion off-brand, you know, jean brands that would sell them, like Unicorn, Jabot, jean brands that would sell them, like, Unicorn, Jumbo, Zeke Average, like, it's just like, so fast, it doesn't sound like words, like, no diction. And then he would end by going, so if you care enough to buy the very best, but you're too cheap, come to Crazy Sophie's. Ah, so funny. And so knowingly, he wanted women to come into the store so he said crazy sophies even though.

He called it sophies because, well we're from New Hampshire, you know people always say, when I say I'm from New Hampshire they go there are Jews from New Hampshire and then I have to explain like, you know even New Hampshire deserves retail. And so he makes up the name. So because it's kind of Jewish, she and we're Jewish, whatever. Mike, my Nana, his mother, you know, they're from Boston and like her best friend, Sophie is from Boston and she accused him of calling her Sophie crazy. And then my dad said, mom, if I named it after Sophie Moskowitz, I'd call it ugly Sophie's background.

I thought that was so funny. Years ago, I told it on a talk show and I did not realize Sophie Moskowitz was still with us at that time. Was still with us, oh no. It was not good, but she's... Oh dear. I made sure she's absolutely dead right now. Okay, good.

Well post-mortem, it's a Netflix special. That's right. That's exciting to be under the Netflix umbrella once again. A home of too hot to handle. What's too hot to handle? I don't know, isn't that on Netflix? They really cover everything. They come too hot to handle

to jokes about Sarah's dead parents. That's actually in their, But postmortem it comes out tonight, probably at midnight Eastern and people can stay up late or they can set the alarm for tomorrow morning and just watch it first thing when they wake up, get a cup of coffee. Sometimes they that, cause it comes out tomorrow, but it will come out tonight, right?

Sometimes it's like six or nine or something. I don't know. I believe it's 9 p.m. here on the West Coast. Oh, I see midnight. Okay. Midnight Eastern. And are you giving any special prizes to anyone who proves they watch it or anything like that?

Yeah, if you can prove that you watched it, I'm gonna give them a check for a million dollars. Wow, so that's all, you you can prove that you watched it, I'm gonna give them a check for a million dollars. Wow, so that's all, you just have to prove you watched it. Yeah. And how do they do that, like take a picture of the credits or? Yeah, like just take a picture of yourself in front of like a TV, I guess.

And a million dollars. Wow, this is so generous of them. Yeah, I'll give them a million dollars. But it, hmm, I think I heard something in the last thing that you said, but probably not important. Even a million doll hairs would be very hard to procure. That would be so expensive.

First of all, I mean, dolls with what they're costing with these tariffs these days. Hey, you only need a couple dolls. How many hairs are on each doll, would you say, if you had to guess? Oh boy. A thousand? I doubt even a thousand. I bet there's probably on each doll,

I'd say there's probably 50 hairs on each doll. Really? No, there's more you think? A hundred? I don't know. It's depending on the doll obviously. I'm sure I can find a doll that has 50 hairs on it to prove everyone wrong Maybe like would Siri know how many hairs are on like a Barbie's head. Let's ask you Siri. Hey Siri How many hairs are on a Barbie's head? and transmission Check it out. I have to read it. Yeah, just tell me, fucking bitch. How much are a billion doll hairs worth is a Reddit topic.

So I don't know, I'll catch up with that later and perhaps in the break. But Postmortem is out tonight and this is exciting. Do you expect you're gonna be like Prince where you're gonna put out three specials this year or is this the last one for a few years? No, this is the last one for, I mean, the last special I did was the fourth special I've ever done.

So this is five. This is the fifth. It came fast just because of the circumstances, you know, because my last special came out as they were dying. Right. Are you hoping other people die so that you have more material? I mean, I'm hoping, yeah. People you know are just like, maybe you could read the obituaries every day and go like, oh, that sounds funny. I kind of do. I might need a daughter that I think I once went to. Yeah, so when I started over with standup,

I didn't have any material. I just started with like the eulogy I gave at my dad's funeral, because it was pretty funny. I mean, not just because he's so funny and I just turned out faster. And so are you back on the train though now? Or are you like, yes, I now know how to do this.

Let me keep going on it. I know, if somebody asked me how to write a joke, do you have, yes, I now know how to do this. Let me keep going on it. I know, if somebody asked me how to write a joke, do you have a way, like if someone said, hey, how do you write a joke? If people ask me, I have no fucking clue. Basically just, you know, steal something funny that someone else said and just write it down. Oh, that's so smart.

Yeah, it's a pretty good system. I should start watching some comedy specials and just jot, take notes, jot so smart. Yeah, it's a pretty good system. I should start watching some comedy specials and just jot, take notes, jot things down. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, it's a mystery, but I mean, you're a professional at it. You're one of the funniest standup comics of certainly my generation, if not any generation. The next generation.

Yes, one of the best standup comedians to ever do it, living or dead. And your special Postmortem is out tonight. I'm looking forward to watching it. I'm gonna set my 4 a.m. alarm and just dig into it tomorrow morning. Boom. I'm excited.

Post-mortem on Netflix tonight. We need to take a break if that's okay, but can you stick around? We have a college football coach as well as a motivational speaker. This is an exciting show. Can't wait, yeah. Oh man, all right, so we're gonna be right back.

We're gonna have more Sarah Silverman. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, post-mortem, her fifth special ever. She's been doing stand-up comedy now for over three decades. You're in your fourth decade, is that right? Yes, it is. Yes, hello darling. Come closer, child. I started when I was very young. Let me tell you about the 1980s stand-up comedy scene.

Did you start in the 80s or in the early 90s? No. I don't know. You were on SNL in 90 fucking five, weren't you? 93, 93, 94 season. You were, I mean, you were really new. Just to give you an idea of how good I look. Well, I was 22.

Yeah, and you'd been doing stand-up for? Since I was like 17. So the 80s. But I was in high school. I didn't specify that you were in high school. Okay, so you were high school eighties, not the real 1980s. Then I was like, made money, I was 19,

and so that was 1990. But still, I mean, you've been doing it for a long time, this is your fifth special ever, over, that's like one every six years. That's, I mean, that's a reasonable amount. These comedians who put out one every year, I don't trust them. You know, I don't trust the quality.

Yeah, one of these fucking weird prolific comedians that are always working and thinking. They can make anything funny. Yeah, fuck them. Who are out there every single night, it's very, you know, five clubs every night working on it. I also have become obsessed with Call of Duty and it's really cut into my work.

What do you like about Call of Duty? I love the haptics of killing. I love the feeling under my fingers. I don't know what's happening to me. Do you have a special controller that you've bought or are you, I have no idea what the controllers are, is typical. Just a typical. Typical, what is it, PS?

PS5. PS5? To brag. Wow, so you've been able to afford the 5. Yeah. Congratulations. I am. Is there a PS6 or?

No, no. Okay. Sweetheart, if there was a PS6 I would have it. Okay, I'm so sorry. Although my iPhone is like a 12. Yeah, what, which iPhone? I think they're on like 14 or something. Yeah, I tried to get a case at the iPhone store recently

and they looked at me like I was pathetic. They're like, we don't sell them for those anymore. Really? But it looks fine, right? Where would it be? About my phone? Oh, it's a 13 Pro Max. Nice. That's better than yours.

It is. What is that circle? Is that like a stand? It's MagSafe. The circle on the back. What does that mean? If you don't know, I don't have the time to tell you, honey.

Just go home and look it up in between kills on Call of Duty. Do you wish you were back there right now? Are you imagining killing me right now? I'm always thinking about it. Why do you kill people in Call of Duty? Is there any kind of reason? It's war, man. It's fucking war.

Can you just kill anyone? Like, what if you kill your friend? You can't kill your friend. There is a setting where you can kill your friends, but I would have so much friendly fire because I just, as soon as I see a person I shoot, you know, like I'm panicked. So you're really good at it.

Yeah, I'm terrible, I'm terrible. I really thought I was excellent at it because I'm passionate about it and it's all I wanna do with my free time. I like don't see friends, I don't. And I turned on the thing so I could hear others, the others. And it was just 14 year olds going, fucking kill yourself, dude. And I'm not a team player, I guess.

It's more of a team thing, but I just like to kill. I can't really do like the team part of it. That's right. It's more of a singular thing to kill a man. Yeah, when you just see the life. Just being extinguished. Come out of their eyes. It's like, it makes-

It's a very personal thing. Yeah, it feels almost sexual to me. Yeah, great. Sarah Silverman is here. Postmortem is the special on Netflix tonight. We need to get to our next guest. Yes, can't wait. He is, or she is a college football coach.

This is very exciting. He is a college football coach. Sorry, do I have the right name there? Did I? Oh, I said Biff Brisket. Oh, Biff, okay. But that's not a real name, so I understand your confusion.

Okay, what do you mean it's not a real name? I mean, my dad made a noise when I was born. He went, pfft, and then they put that on the first. They put that on the, oh, and they assumed he was naming you. Yeah. Oh, wow. So Biff Brisket is your name. Please welcome Biff Brisket.

Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me, Scott Aukerman. It's my pleasure to have you. This is Sarah Silverman. I don't know if you're a fan of stand-up comedy since 1989. Yeah, how do you do? 90. Huge fan, Hello. Thank you so much

and What where do you coach? What team do you coach University of Alabama? Roll-tide. I Recently was let go though. I don't know if you've seen the news I mean, I've seen the news but I there's so much news that maybe I didn't get to the sports page Yeah, do you know anything about this? Do you follow college sports Sarah or no I act on? Oddly I I do own the domain brisket gate. Oh really? Yeah I'll give you seven dollars for it got it

What why did you get fired if you don't heard about I guess every day we wake up and it's like a firehose of news To the face, so I guess I feel we wake up and it's like a fire hose of news to the face. So I guess I've been under the radar. I'm dealing with the Bill Belichick interview at this point. So I haven't had a lot of other football. We all have young girlfriends. He's just the only one getting attention for it.

Whatever, Bill Belichick, fuck you. Whoa. Sorry. So why were you let go? Oh, I was too intense. Oh, yeah, that can happen with sports. Yeah, what were some of your techniques? I was sort of toilet papering my players' houses. I was running out into the field.

I was tackling them myself. Just too much. They called it too much. The prank toilet papering? Yeah, egging, toilet papering, ding dong ditch. Ding dong ditching. The classic stuff, Scott. Were you leaving flaming piles of shit in bags?

Okay, so you have heard about me on the news. No, that's just a classic prank. Why were you doing this to your... Because they weren't playing so good, Scott. And this is all stuff that we used to do before. But now it's a new world and I can't get away with being the same coach that I used to be. Okay, well, yeah, I mean, I don't think any coach should be tackling the players on the field.

Okay, well, we used to. Although I guess if you're on the sidelines and you can run out and tackle one of your players, like, then they should be faster. Exactly. The other players are on the field. I'm 58. If I can catch you, I can keep you. I can take you down. There should be a rule that if anyone in the stands can get on the field. I'm 58. If I can catch you, I can keep you. I can take you down.

There should be a rule that if anyone in the stands can get on the field and tackle anyone, that it stands. That's what I've been saying. That's why all of our sweatshirts are cut off is because if we could, for tackling our players. Now, Sarah and I are in a football pool every year. Oh yeah, that's right.

You did very well. Did I this year? Didn't you this year? And I won one week. And so I made my money back. And that's my only goal every single year is make my money back. But I thought that you were in the top 10

or something like that this year. Oh, maybe. I didn't do very well, but for some reason I stayed in the middle enough that I was consistently okay, but I didn't have any like big wins. But I don't pay for that one. That's a hundred dollars to be in right

Yeah, and you don't pay for it who just gal who runs it. He grandfather's you in he pays for it every year because he owes me thousands of dollars and this is how he's paying me back $100 a year in a in a in a pool, an office pool I don't care about. In about 100,000 years will be. I see you in there every week and you do quite well and I'm like, boy, Sarah really cares about this. I've never heard the backstory. I do have math about it.

I do have a way that I do it, which doesn't always work well. It's just, I don't really watch the football, but I look at their, I look at the spread and I compare it to their stats, you know, their wins and losses. Typical football betting. Yeah, and then I just kind of see if they're at the home team then they probably do a little better. Do a little better, yeah, this is typical

of how people usually do. Oh, I thought that was my special way. Dave Justgow, who runs it, is very intense about it. And speaking of parents' deathbeds, I was on my father's deathbed and he is frantically emailing me because I hadn't made my pics. And he's like, I wish I had your phone number.

I would be calling you. You have to get your pics in. So I'm sitting here, my father is passing away and I'm like, the only way to placate him is to make these pics. So I made my pics. And did you win? I did pretty well that week actually.

Good, yeah, we'll see. In any case, back to Biff for us to hear. Thank you. So what, you're out of a job. I'm out of a job. I'm so sorry. Well, I recently started a new business. You have a new job.

Wow, what is it? I am running bachelorette parties. Running them? What does that mean? I'm planning them, sort of. I get a headset and I sort of run the whole weekend. It's a lateral move intensity-wise. So you call the plays at someone's bachelor party.

I go, like, I send out an email and I go Scottsdale, Nashville, Miami, Vegas, where are we going, Gals? And then they pick and then I let it rip after that. Are you in charge of the big hats that people wear at these things? Yeah, the big hats, the penis hats, the theme parties, the neon signs. I always call the cousin bridesmaid,

who's usually the one that runs the muck. And I sort of straighten her out before. I prank her, toilet paper her house, egg her house. Same things I did. Tackle her, tackle her. During the bachelorette party. Exactly, exactly. Well, I mean, this sounds like a great business.

How did you become interested in that particular aspect? Well, my daughter, Everly, who is 15 years older than my girlfriend currently, she got married and everything was so expensive. The bachelorette party, I was like, you're spending $4,000 to go to a bachelorette party? The costumes alone for a bachelorette party are, I don't know, $1,000. What are the costumes? Are they like flapper costumes?

What do people wear to bachelorette parties? Scott, when was the last time you were on the internet? What do you mean? There's a lot was the last time you were on the internet? There's a lot of bachelorette parties on the internet. Oh my gosh, that's half of it Is you got to take a picture of it every night's a different theme. It'll be like like cowboy hats if you're in Nashville or it'll be like Like funeral theme like you're you're celebrating the death of your single Yeah, or like founding fathers if you're celebrating the death of being single.

Or like founding fathers, if you're a bunch of funny gals. So like Hamilton? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you pay all this money and it's just like, this money's gotta go somewhere, right? And so why not to me? Right, okay, yeah.

I mean, it goes to the services that one is usually procuring when you're at the bachelor party. On the services. So now you're the pastor, it goes to the services that one is usually procuring when you're at the bachelor party. But it goes- On the services. So now you're the pastor, it goes through you. It goes through me. And you know, all these gals,

especially if you're in a sorority, God forbid you have a lot of female friends, six, 10 weddings a year, everyone's getting married at the same time, it starts to add up. So I also am running a credit card company and I have the gals open credit cards. Okay.

It's an 80% interest rate Scott. That's too high. That is way too high. I mean, you spend, you know, $100, then you owe 180. Exactly. I'm rich. It's too much. I, it's predatory.

Isn't it Sarah? I mean, did you have credit cards when you were growing up or did you stay away from all of them? I wasn't growing up. You know what I mean, did you have credit cards when you were growing up or did you stay away from all of them? Well, I'm growing up. No, I mean, like, you know how they prey on teenagers who first time they're out of the house and they wanna buy a bunch of stuff? No, the first credit card I got, I was like 20,

and Mark Cohen was my like signatory or whatever, as a comedian. Fans of 80s and 90s comedians are loving it today to hear Mark Cohen and Dave Juskow's name. By the way, Mark Cohen and Dave Juskow and me all on one episode of Make Me Laugh together. Oh my God, really? Mark hosted and Dave and I were on together.

I saw there's a place like a Sparrows or something that's across from Porto's, that's across from Porto's, that's across from Porto's in Burbank that has Mark Cohen's headshot from Make Me Laugh and he wrote, Make Me Lunch. Like, I'll be on this show forever and everyone will know what this means. A cultural touchstone. We all know what that is. So Biff Brisket, what is your business called and what's the credit card called?

Biff's Bachelorette Parties. Is the credit card? Yes. Oh, wow. And the business. And the business, okay. And how's it going for you? Oh, it's booming.

How many have you done? It's booming. I've done, well, I'm 80 at this point. Eight, how, when did you start this? You were just fired. Three weeks ago. You've done 80? Yeah, everyone's getting married, Scott.

Post pandemic, people are, the wedding business is booming. There's money in this. Want me to bring you in? I mean, yeah, well, yeah, I mean. Okay, you gotta open a line of credit with me. The interest rate is 100%. I thought you said it was 80.

Did I? Just five minutes ago. For gals, it's 80%. Oh, okay, I understand. I'm not a monster. We're? Just five minutes ago. For gals, it's 80%. Oh, okay. I'm not a monster. We're trying to reconcile the wage gap here. Exactly, I'm a really good guy. You can tell by my everything.

So are you yelling at the brides? Oh, screaming at the brides. Same stuff I do at football games, I'm doing with the brides. Pouring Gatorade on people. Isn't that they poured on the coach usually? Actually think about that. Well, then I got all turned around

because I'm pouring Gatorade on these girls. So you're the type of coach that like, they would try to pour Gatorade on you, you would grab it and pour it on them. Yeah, I go, son of a bitch, fuck you guys, and I pour it on them. Wow. Intense, I mean, you're an intense coach,

you said it yourself. Yeah, and I mean, I also let people make bets on what's gonna happen the weekend. Really? Mm-hmm. People can do fantasy football drafts and stuff, but for Bachelorette Party weekend. So what kind of things are they betting on? Who's gonna throw up during the fitness class

that we, for whatever reason, decided to do at six a.m. on the Saturday of the Bachelorette Party? Does anyone come to those? Oh my God, I'm telling you, this is part of Bachelorette Party culture, and I'm speaking from experience. I mean, it sounds like it's going great for you. If I were to join into your business,

what role do you see me playing? Am I a utility player or? Do you strip? I don't, I mean, I could. Because there's a huge business for joke strippers. Like funny gals are bringing in like- Like ugly people? Is that what you're trying to say?

No, I mean like, like you play like a historical figure or like a Gene Hackman's role in like Poseidon Adventure. Something like a niche character that no one wants a stripper version of. Oh, I see. So what historical figures are we talking? US presidents or just? Yeah, US presidents.

What are some historical figures you know and love, Scott? Look, it's not my business. Yeah, but you probably know one or two, right? I mean, Ludwig von Beethoven is a historical figure. That would be fantastic. Or like Thomas Edison. Oh, yeah. You come in and you're like,

anyone need to invent electricity? And then Nikolai Tesla stripper comes in and they battle out who gets credit for it. And all the girls are laughing, they're all horny, and then you get paid $100 that you pay to me, and then you're good for the night. And then how much do I get paid? You get paid in experience.

You just made a room full of women horny. There's no price tag of that. That's pretty good, yeah. I've never made a room full of women horny unless the room was just cool off. Not with that attitude. Was in it. You're right, I do need to improve my attitude

with getting people horny. Yeah, there you go. How long do you think this can last for you? I mean, don't you miss football? Well, I miss it something awful, Scott. And I'm trying to, my confidence is low. So I'm trying to coach myself. So I toilet papered my house last night,

egged my house last night, didn't go and ditched my own house. Have you cleaned it up this morning? I should have my front porch. No, no, I need to learn a lesson. You know, when you're at the store buying a bunch of toilet paper and a bunch of eggs, the cashier eventually must be like, you should probably not eat eggs.

They think I'm very ill at the realms down the street. They think I'm very, very sick. But Scott, have you ever needed me to coach you through something? Through a podcast maybe? Yeah, through anything. I mean, to be honest, I feel like I'm drowning during this episode, you know?

I'm just posting on Sarah's charisma, you know? Like, is there any way you could give me some pointers? I guess like be more like Sarah Silverman. That's tough. I mean, she's been doing stand-up since the high school eighties. Yeah. The 90s in real life.

Classically sparkly and likable. Can you, you know, like... Yeah. Just a manic pixie dream girl kind of effect. I don't think I have any of that. Can you go back in time and be in School of Rock? I can't help you then. Yeah, I don't think I could, you know. And then realize today that that character was right. Yeah, I don't think I could. And then realized today that that character was right?

I mean, didn't I read something about the actual School of Rock guy that says, not so great? What? Allegedly. Oh, I don't know anything about this. I don't know anything about that. Yeah, so anyway, your character, because you were, what was your character? I was just the like, cunty girlfriend of Ned Schneebly. And the foil, I was the foil,

but really I was just mad because he lived in our living room and he didn't pay any rent. Oh, okay. Yeah, you were right about that guy. Which is completely right. Yeah. Although I guess that was like Mary Lynn for Tracy Katsky and I, and that was a delight.

That's right. Another famous comedy compound, Tracy Kasky and Mary Lynn and Sarah all lived together and Mary Lynn was in the living room. Yeah. Yeah. Wonderful memories with Mark Cohen, Dave Juskow. I mean, the luminaries, the people I know.

This is not like Tommy Lee Jones was Al Gore's roommate at Harvard. Right, no. This is not like Tommy Lee Jones was Al Gore's roommate at Hartford. Right, no. You know? Yeah. Well, look, Biff Brisket, I wish you well. Maybe you can help me out in our next segment.

I would love to. Give me a few tips. You know what I mean? Because like, take us out. What would I do to go to commercial right now to make sure that people stick around for C-Block? Pour Gatorade on yourself? I don't think I have a tub of Gatorade.

I made a bet that it was blue. Put $100,000 on it, Scott. You put $100,000 that I had blue Gatorade here in the house? Yeah, it's a parlay bet. I'm gonna be out a lot of money if you don't start doing all the stuff I bet on, Scott. Look, I'll try to rustle up some during the break, if that's okay. Awesome, thank you.

All right, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Sarah Silverman, more Biff Brisket, and we have a motivational speaker. Well, maybe the motivational speaker can give me some tips here. Maybe, I'm already jealous. I hate the new baby. All right, well look, we're gonna come right back.

We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Sarah Silverman is here. Post-mortem is the special out tonight. Her fifth special of all time. So you can see the entirety of Sarah's stand-up comedy career in about five hours. You can just spend the afternoon. How's that make you feel?

I feel fine about it. Plus you were on a season of SNL. Oh yeah. You could watch Larry Sanders when you were on that too. Sure, sure. Yeah, and watch, why not watch School of Rock? We just talked about it. Why not check out Star Trek Voyager 1997 two-parts.

Of course, I was doing a rewatch or an actual watch. It can't be a rewatch when you've never seen it, but I was doing a watch of it when COVID was going on. You were? Yeah. You had two episodes, right? Was it a two-parter? That's right.

Yeah, you were on earth, right? Yeah, they, yeah. In a classic car over by like a museum or something like that? How about Griffith Park Observatory? Yeah, right there. And you still had a pretty heavy New England accent. Did I?

I think so. There is a time around then where every character I played drove a VW van. I think I had like three VW van characters. Who were you interacting with again? Which one of the Star Trek gang? I can't, you watched Star Trek Voyager? Yeah.

Was it- Tuvok and Paris. Tuvok, of course. And Paris, yeah. Paris was my love interest, but I did make out with Tuvok IRL. That's right, Paris, who was disgraced in Star Trek Next Generation. He was?

That's right, because he was a part of some sort of, when he was at the Academy, some sort of lying about the details of an accident that happened, and then his character moved over to Voyager, and he redeemed himself in Voyager. He was great. I liked him.

As well as Tuvok, the Vulcan, who was not in touch with his emotions. Yeah, I always love that. That's like the Data character. That's right. Although the Data character in Voyager, of course, was the Doctor who was a hologram. Oh, and that's that guy Tom something. I don't know, but apparently you didn't get to interact with him because he would stay on the

ship until finally, I think he got tired of it and they invented something supposedly on the show that he put on his clothes that made him able to walk around on earth and other alien planets. I love that this is what you did during COVID. I baked cakes, I watched all the Star Trek's. What did you do? How about Tig? How about Tig on Star Trek? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Got to see her too. And- Jet Reno. Is this where you developed your love for Call of Duty during COVID? Yeah. Yeah. It is, it is. So we had very different experiences, but. Yeah, the world shut down and I went to a GameStop

and bought a used console in one game, Call of Duty World War II. Oh, it's World War II themed. That one it was, yeah. Oh, that's fun. So basically you're killing Nazis. Yeah, it's World War II themed. That one it was, yeah. Oh, that's fun. So basically you're killing Nazis. Yeah, it was great. Yeah.

It was great. I was playing Animal Crossing for 14 hours a day. 14 hours a day. Truly, yeah. And I kept time traveling to make it my birthday over and over again. Do they do something special? All the pigs or whatever?

Yeah, all the villager pigs sing happy birthday for you and they clap for you. So it was like mid-May and I was like, it's my birthday. I was doing well. I was thriving. I was also making cakes. Biff Brisket, of course, is here with us. Biff is a fired, speaking of disgraced, disgraced football coach who now has segued into Bachelorette

parties and credit card schemes. Well, I wouldn't call it that. Please don't call it that. Which part of it was I mischaracterizing? I left college football amicably. So it was a mutual decision? Yes. In what way?

They fired me and I begged them to let me stay. Okay, yeah, it sounds semi-mutual there, but we need to get to our next guest. She's a motivational speaker. And this is exciting because I need some motivation here. Oh, I am so happy to be here. I'm happy to have you. Let me say your name.

Please welcome Elsie Lynn. Oh, wow. It's just so impressive to be around such successful, wonderful people. Yeah, and myself, I would imagine. Yeah. Oh, you too. Yeah.

You too. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you have Sarah here. Sarah is- Forget about it. Maybe the youngest person to ever be on SNL, is that right? Were you the youngest cast member?

Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy was, yeah. Are you second only to Eddie Murphy? I don't know, maybe. 22 you said. Oh, Pete Davidson was young, wasn't he? Yeah, but still. Just take it. Yep, the youngest by far.

Just claim it. Well, welcome to the show Elsie Lynn. It's so wonderful to have you. You're a motivational speaker. I'm a motivational speaker and I don't know if I'm going to fit in with you guys. I'm more in the mommy circuit. Oh, okay. Obviously. Why do you say obviously? I don't know what you mean.

Just because look at me. And uh... I don't know if you're fine, but uh... Look at it. So I am just going around town trying to get in different pockets with different people, letting them know it's okay to be a shitty mom. Okay? I, you know, I think there is, there's something to this.

Thank you. You know, people need to give themselves a break a little bit on not, you know, being a parent is tough. I'm garbage. I'm trash. Trust me. So you're a mother yourself? I'm a mother.

How many children do you have? One. Just one? Just one. Because I'm not going to fuck up any other kids. I'll tell you that how much how old is your child my child's three three, okay, and she very soon I'm sure will be a meth head with a mother like me Guys, I am messing up left and right. I mean I I do think you know One should afford oneself a little bit of grace when it comes to be a parent, but not me

I mean I mean to being a parent. Not me, Scott. Not me. I mean, to be a meth head, I mean, maybe you are, but what are your techniques for being a parent? Oh my gosh, I'm so willy-nilly with everything. You know, the other day I was reading about seed oils. You guys heard about seed oils? What are these? These are oils taken from seeds?

Yes. Okay, so you know. Context clues got me there. And I was all out of my avocado oil. Okay, avocado is a seed? No, that's avocado is good. We want avocado, high temperature, high temperature smoke point.

I don't know what this means. That's okay. Oh, it's okay. Yeah, no, don't worry about it. Oh, all right. And so all I had was olive oil and I cooked my kid zucchini and olive oil. I'm telling you guys,

you're gonna see her parading around the street, giving Hugh Grant handies. You're trying to say that because you used olive oil instead of avocado oil. It's like, you know what they say, it's the little things that take them down. I guess so. I mean, I don't even know if olive oil is bad.

I mean, in Italy they must use it. Oh, have you been on Instagram? Olive oil is bad. I mean in Italy they must use it. Oh, have you been on Instagram? Olive oil is bad low smoke point. I don't know what this smoke point thing is Sarah. Have you ever heard of this? Scott thought that Bachelorette parties were dressing like flappers. So he hasn't been on the internet in quite some time. That's right I guess I hadn't heard this about motherhood. I mean, you know, I I Don't know. It doesn't sound that bad to me. I think you should give yourself a break. Oh no, that is very sweet. Everybody does that with mom.

You're doing such a good job. You're such a good mom. It's okay to be a shitty mom, all right? I wouldn't even call yourself a shitty mom. I mean, you're feeding your child. You don't even know about her birthday party, okay? What happened on her birthday party? She loves princesses, right?

Okay. She just dies for them. Every morning she's like, I gotta get in a princess dress, mom. I'm like, okay, what you want? You know, we have a line of like 17 of them, right? Okay, you bought 17 princess dresses for your kid? Yeah.

That's 16 too many, I would say. Maybe 17. See, shitty mom. Thank you for confirming. I mean, maybe you're indulgent. No, but I just wanna normalize it, right? Okay. Well, normalize it. Throw this huge party, And that's what I want. No, but I just want to normalize it, right? Okay. Well, normalize it. Throw this huge party.

Get all these, this food, this, these cakes. She wants a pouch. Well, what did I do? I went and got her in Iowa and got a bunch of applesauce pouches. Okay. She wanted apple peach. We didn't have a goddamn apple peach anywhere. So I'm running around, I'm trying to do, and you know what?

And then I just relaxed into it. We've been to the third grocery store and I was like, I'm a shitty mom. My kid's going down the tube. I'm, you know what? I don't know, this, I gotta say, Elsie, you have to give yourself a break. This, I mean.

Oh, that is so sweet. Half of it was Apple. Cause it was just Mother's Day. I have to give myself a break. That's what they say on Mother's Day. No, no, I mean- And it's so cute. She wanted apple peach.

You got apple. I mean, you know, it's not that far off. But it's the little things that just chip away at their psyche. These are too little. Microaggressions. Micro, thank you, Sarah. Are you being aggressive? They're micro-

Well, I only talk to her in gentle parenting. What's wrong with that? No, no, no. I barely talk to her. Okay. I let her mostly do the talking. What is gentle parenting again? It's just whatever they say go.

Whatever they say go? And you run. And that's literally, it's just whatever. Just whatever they say, you just take off in the opposite direction. Hop two. hop two. So I'm a bad mom. If you're a bad mom, then my mom was terrible. She used to tell me that it looked like rats

had been sucking on my hair when I got out of the car for school. Rats had been sucking. Yeah. Hair. Yeah, she said, why didn't you run a comb through your hair? But none of that matters. It looks like rats have been sucking on it? Yeah.

It's very, it's a visceral description of it. Is there an example of things that have been sucking on it? Yeah. It's very, it's a visceral description of it. Is there an example of things that have been sucked on by rats? I don't think I've heard. I mean, usually it's like when someone says they have ratty hair, it's because it looks like a rat's fur or tail. Am I learning for the first time

that that's not a regional thing that everybody said? I've never heard that expression before. Fantastic, that's just something my mother and aunt said. But you know what? Good for her, good for her. I know, but like how people were parenting in the 70s, 80s, and 90s was like so much worse than what you're talking about.

Oh, I think people just say that to be nice. People were getting like kidnapped because they were riding their bikes like 18 hours a day. Oh my God, I wish I could get kidnapped. What? You wish you could get kidnapped? No, no, no. I just mean like, you know, sometimes it's the other way around.

You tell your kids, you know, don't be around a white van. And you're like looking for those white vans as you're driving your kid around. Yeah. I mean, it sounds to me like you're just exhausted. You... So, listen, I think it's so sweet. You're all looking at me like, oh, she's so... Guys, I know what trash looks like. You're not looking at me like, oh, she's so, guys, I know what trash looks like.

You're not, I. I'm like a, I mean, I guess I'm one of those rats sucking on your hair. No, I don't see that at all. You're on your phone right now, like setting up play dates and watching like. Oh yeah, I have carpal tunnel, that's what the, that's what the braces are for.

That doesn't make you a bad mom to have carpal tunnel syndrome. Well then I can't pick her up as easily, I gotta take him off when we go in this. As easily, you're still picking her up. Oh sure, well of course. Biff, can I talk to you for a second over here? Yeah, of course.

Sarah, you wanna join us over here? A huddle? Yeah. Okay, don't get so excited. Eee! You have dollar signs in your eyes right now. A huddle, all right, it's like the old day. Hey Biff, it feels like Elsie Lynn is hanging by a thread here.

Sure. I don't think she's doing all that bad of a job, but she seems exhausted. Right. We need you to give her some sort of motivation here. The motivational speaker needs motivation. How ironic is that? All right, I'm gonna go out to my car.

I'm gonna grab my eggs, my toilet paper. Look, I have some eggs right here, okay? And during the break, I got some toilet paper. I couldn't find any Gatorade, but I got a bunch of eggs and toilet paper, so. Okay, perfect, okay, give me one minute. One minute, what do you need the minute for? I'm sorry.

Well, I also, I don't mean to talk about process. If I'm gonna shit on your front porch, I need a second. You, okay, do you need caffeine or something like that? Like a cup of coffee or something if you want? Why are you making me say this in front of Sarah Silverman? I don't understand, like, toilet paper in your house, does that entail shitting? No.

Well, she's gonna shit on the porch and set it on fire. You know, put it in a bag. Yeah, put it in a bag. Oh, oh great, great. I'm sorry. And when I say she, I mean he. Yeah. Okay, Biff, are you ready?

Yep. Oh, Biff. Moms, take a knee. I can't. So sorry. All right, then sit comfortably. Oh, I- Punches locker.

What's going on out there, everybody? What the hell am I seeing out there on that field? Yeah. We are garbage. No. No. We are trash. You are playing the game of your life.

You. You're killing it. You're the best mom I ever saw in my whole time. No. Scott. What about me, yeah? I'm gonna loop right back around to you and you'll be back in one second. Sarah Silverman, you're killing it. You're the best mom I ever saw in my whole time. No. Scott. What about me, yeah? I'm gonna loop right back around to you back in one second.

Sarah, you're a national treasure. My mom sends me clips of you saying stuff all the time. Maybe you're right, maybe I should leave this kid. No, that's not what I mean. I'm just saying. Maybe I should just get out. Get out of the game. We're gonna find you a therapist.

What? Yep. My kid has four therapists. I don't have time for therapy. I gotta take my kid to therapy. We're gonna, you're gonna leave your partner. Cause I can tell by your everything that they're not very supportive. Who is your, who are you with right now?

Who did you have the baby with? What was his name? Okay, this is- Larry. Larry? Yeah, I don't see him much. It's not Larry H. Parker, is it? Oh my God.

The lawyer. What? The cartoon lawyer? You wanna make sure. You know him? It is Larry H. Parker? Yes, of course. Okay.

Larry, you said Larry H. Larry H. Parker, yes. With an H in the middle. Yeah, he just passed away, I believe. My daughter's name. Parker. Yeah, with an H in the middle. Yeah, he just passed away. My daughter's name is Parker. Her name is Parker Parker? Yes, yeah. Wow, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you. Yeah, he's on billboards everywhere. Well, it seems like I'm gonna really enjoy your special. Yeah, we'll have a really special meeting for you. Yeah. Okay, did that work? Do you think, Liv? I don't think, I'm gonna really enjoy your special. Yeah, we'll have a really special meeting for you. Yeah. Okay, did that work? Do you think, Liv? I don't think, I'm confident.

No, I completely struck down. I think you need to get to the eggs. Yeah, all right. And also, I'm waiting for my compliments because- Yes, Scott Offerman. Um, I like, what did you say earlier about the boys coming out in spring? I don't even remember. That I liked. You liked that? I liked that. What did you say earlier about the boys coming out in spring?

That I liked. You liked that? I liked that. I've been talking now for over an hour and that's the only thing that you liked about this show? I loved that. It made me smile, Scott Offerman. If I can give someone one smile, that's really all anyone can expect out of a podcast is one smile. Yeah, I loved it. Okay. I'm feeling a little low confidence. Can somebody coach me? Sarah you want to coach Biff over here if you're killing it you are absolutely killing it What advice would you have for new moms? You know as I said before? What she says go run, uh-huh So just what you know if you're trying to get shoes on to your kid as they're going out the door.

Why is that so hard, by the way, getting shoes on kids? Like, shouldn't it be easier? Like, that's the number one problem that the parents have, I think, is getting shoes on kids. I could put a pencil through my eye right now. I would. I had this this morning. It was impossible.

Like, this has gotta be easier. shouldn't they should invent shoes that like Come over to you and then wrap like seal themselves around the foot shouldn't they? No, no, and so you just have to leave the shoes are never gonna go on the feet So just send them off shoeless. So carry them even with your braces. Shoeless Joe Jackson style? Yes You know if you don't wear shoes for long enough, your feet kind of make their own shoe. The cavemen didn't have shoes.

That's right. They had animal pelts. They had animal pelts. Yeah. To cover their feet. To cover their feet, cavemen, penis and shit. Enough skin develops. I have a second compliment for you, Scott.

I like that you said caveman, penis under your breath just now. All right, I think I said it full-throatedly. All right, well, we are running out of time, unfortunately. I said caveman penis under your breath just now. I think I said it full-throatedly. All right, well, we are running out of time, unfortunately. We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called Plugs. Annel Plugs. We at Comedy Bang Bang Care.

Sorry. Excuse me. That was impressive. That was We at Comedy Bang Bang Care by The Human Neighbor. Thanks so much to The Human Neighbor. If you have a plugs theme, head over to comedybangbangworld or cbbworld.com slash plugs. And there you can upload all of your themes

and you can be famous for a week. And The Human Neighbor, you are famous for a week. Congratulations, enjoy it well. Last and Sarah, what are we plugging here? It's a great name, The Human Neighbor. The Human Neighbor. I love that. Yeah, we're speaking of great names.

Postmortem is out tonight. Yes, we've said it so many times, Postmortem, Postmortem, Sarah Silverman, Postmortem on Netflix. You have any Voyager style TV appearances on the horizon? No. You should be on the new Star Trek shows. Like they come back to your character.

Rain Robinson. You're still Rain Robinson. She's still at Griffith Park hanging out. Yeah. Well, maybe. Maybe. Hey, you are- I'm in Canon.

I'm Canon, right? Yeah, and you're tech avail. I'm tech avail. That's right. But Postmortem, out tonight. Everyone should check it out. Biff Brisket, what do you want to plug? My podcast, Hey Riddle Riddle, is going on tour this year.

You have a podcast, Biff? I have a lot of different hands and a lot of different honey pots. That's something we say down in Alabama. Sure, yeah. Irons and fires may be a little more common in my neck of the woods. That's what it is. But- Irons and fires, I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. have a lot of different hands and a lot of different honey pots. That's something we say down in Alabama. Sure, yeah, irons and fires may be a little more common in my neck of the woods. That's what it is.

Irons and crimson fires. So, Hey Riddle Riddle, anywhere you find podcasts and if you wanna come see us live, we're doing like 15 different cities. Fantastic, where do people get info on that? Heyriddleriddle.com Heyriddleriddle.com slash live.

It's as easy as that. Follow us on Instagram. Wonderful. And Elsie Lynn, what are you plugging? I'm gonna go off the grid for a little bit. You're going off the grid. Oh, so you're. Wow. Are you gonna abandon your child?

I'm just gonna see what kind of white van I can get involved in. Normally I would say that's a bad idea, but with you I think it might be apropos. You know? I think you need some separation time. Shit is as shit does. Well, what do I want to plug I want to plug I mentioned CBB world You can get the entire archive of this show. You can listen to ad-free episodes

You can hear every live episode we've ever done there. Plus we have new shows We have CBB presents where people from this show have their own shows like hey Randy with Randy Snuts and who me with the Batman and this book's changed my life with Lily Sullivan and E. Prey Dunk with Bill Walton plus you have Scott Hasn't Seen where we watch movies. Sarah, you were on that. Oh, I've done that. That's fun. Yeah.

We watched Pretty Woman, did we not? We did. And had a great time and that's Whis a Whisprig the Whisperer. Big mistake. Yeah. Huge. Huge for us to watch that movie. I did not care for it.

And we have College Town. We have the Neighborhood Listen, Ad Free Freedom. So much over there. Head on over to cbbworld.com and let's close up the old plug bag. and let's close up the old plug bag. Oh yeah, that was Home Home Homer by Brian Pickard. I hope I'm saying that correctly, Brian Pickard. Thanks to Brian Pickard for that

closing up the Plugback theme. And guys, I wanna thank you so much, Sarah. Always a pleasure to have you. I hope you'll come back for episode 14. I will. Your 14th appearance. I will. I'm not episode 14 of the show. I was just thinking, I wonder if it's Brian Picard.

It could be, oh, speaking of Star Trek. Bringing it all around like a real improviser. Amazing. And also I want to thank Biff Brisket here. Yeah, wow. And good luck to you. Thank you for having me. Of course.

And the most normal thing you said today. And Elsie Lynn, good luck to you. I sincerely hope you abandon your child and check yourself into a mental institution. Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. It's really been a pleasure. It's been so nice.

It's my sincere wish for you. Thank you. Me, unfortunately, I gotta keep on going. We'll see you next week. Thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. week thanks bye