Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Shaun Diston, Lily Sullivan, Ronnie Adrian

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

Plumber Franky Flush joins Scott to talk about his 9 Step plumbing process and the current war with all the other plumbers in the Los Angeles area. Then, traveler Lena Dunne Homme drops by to talk about organizing a bachelorette party on her most recent trip. Plus, author Jack Lusty stops by to promote his new self-published book “Yes, I Finished.”

The enemy of my enemy is my Chandler. Okay, Phoebe too. Who am I kidding? Get those other four rascals in here. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Very nice. Alvaro Mendes.

Thank you so much to Alvaro Mendes for that wonderful catchphrase submission. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. June is certainly busting out all over. None can dispute that. We are smack dab in hump week of June. And welcome to it. My name is Scott Ackerman,

and we have an incredible podcast show for you to listen to today. If you're into podcast shows, coming up a little later we have a traveler. A traveler, interesting, okay. I wonder to when, whence or where they have traveled. We also have an author, an author. Oh, wonderful.

I love the printed word. Be it on screens or be it on the page. We will certainly be talking to them about that. And, but first, before we get to it, you know, we used to have celebrities on the show. In fact, we had one, Andy Richter. Andy Richter is now one of the only celebrities I know socially, so he agreed to come on the show.

We no longer get celebrities. Instead, we have our guest in A block here is someone in the custodial services. That's right. A fucking plumber is our lead off guest here. I'm a celebrity. What? In the plumbing circles.

Oh, in the plumbing circles, okay. Indeed, I walk the red carpets. They call them the shit carpets. Are they the brown carpets, really? No, they call them the shit carpets. We like to really reclaim shit. You know what? You want to introduce me.

Yeah, I probably do want to introduce you. I, look, I have no other information other than your name. So. And what's that silky smooth name? Okay, well, here we go. I'll really try to stretch it out in order to take the time I would normally do.

Reads up all my credits. Yeah, I have none of your credits. I don't know what toilets you've plunged. At the Brode. I've plunged toilets at the Brode. At the Brode, really. That's right, Scott. And the Getty.

Brode's Before Hodes, right? That's right. Please welcome to the show for the first time Franky Flush. That's right, Scott. My name is a Franky Flush. Franky Flush. And.

Is that a, not a nom de plume or a, not a stage name, but a, what do you call it when you're a plumber and you take someone like a different name? There's gotta be a term for that. A plum de prune. Yeah, Scott. No, it is not.

My mother's last name was Flush. Was it? And that's right. And did it turn into something else or is she dead? Because you said was. She, Scott. She got remarried to Jason. Oh, thank God.

Oh, I was sweating bullets on that one. I didn't want another Silver Sun Pickup situation. It's Williamson now. If you recall, I asked about his father who had died in the last two weeks. Pretty bad idea to ask about anyone's parents who's over 30. But thank goodness she's just remarried.

Is it a happy remarriage? Look, I haven't seen her in a while. She lives in Dubai now. Wait, but is your father dead? Well, my dad's dead, too. But he died 35 years ago, Scott. 35 years ago in a mysterious plumbing accident. How old of a man are you?

Oh, well, that would make me 45, Scott. Okay, when you were 10 years old, that's a tough situation to deal with. Yeah, but I've done a lot of better help online therapy. Okay, good. Well, you know, it's super normal therapy. Because you don't have to go for it. More affordable, not cheaper.

Yeah, you don't have to drive anywhere. You don't even have to look at their faces. You don't, no, in fact, you can demand they put on a blindfold. That's true. And a dog collar. You can also go into their office and stand back to back with them and say,

let's walk 10 paces. Nude. And then you turn around and tell me what's wrong with me. Scott, thank you for having me here. Welcome for being here is what I was about to say. Thank you for being here as well. Thank you for having me, Scott. Now, I've got a bone to pick with you right off the bat.

Wait, with me? That's right, Scott. I'm sorry, maybe you don't know who I am. My name is Scott Ackerman. I'm the host of the show. I've been hosting this for 13 years or so. We're actually taping this on the 10th anniversary of the Comedy Bang Bang television show.

I'm more of a television personality, movie director who podcasts on the side. That's interesting. So I don't think you have any bone to pick with me because we don't run in the same kind of circle. Well, Scott, you have fired one of the first shots in a long time in the plumbing war, Scott. The plumbing wars?

That's right, Scott. You've had a little gentleman who I like to call a little gentleman named Mike Ruby, the no-stank plumber on this podcast. Oh, Mike Ruby. He's been on the show once. I think he's been on twice. I think he's been on twice

and he's made a huge impression. And I got to say, this guy is a dirtbag, Scott. I hate this guy. A dirtbag like our other friend, Rudy North. I don't know what you think about that. Okay, sorry. I just mean you. I don't know what you think about what I want to do.

Okay, so what happened? You heard that I had a plumber on the show? That there was a guy named Mike Ruby who I happened to know as one of the biggest sleazebags in plumbing history. Really? He was on your show promoting his plumbing company. Well, who's, do you want him to be promoting?

Well, he should be promoting the idea of plumbing in general. Oh, the idea. Wait, like the National Milk Council? That's right, he's a member of the Plumbing Council. He should be on here talking about keeping your toilets fresh and regulated. I'm sure that came up. Instead, he comes on and he starts throwing shade

at every other plumbing company by saying, he's the only plumbing company that will not have any stake. Okay, hold on, hold on. So you're saying that when someone appears on a talk show, like our good friend Adam Scott, he goes on the Conan, oh wait, Conan doesn't have a talk show anymore. He's a self-made millionaire from podcasting.

So the podcast guy. But when he goes on the Jay Leno show or what have you, I haven't seen anything like that, but I'm pretty sure he should be promoting the idea of televisions. Acting itself, oh, the televisions. Yeah, cause he's not really in that many movies currently.

He's a TV star. Okay, so now it seems like you're slamming him. I hope he's not listening. Adam, please don't be listening. I mean, look, let's be honest, yes. Severance is a huge show. He took his shot in movies. Listen, listen, some people.

The aviator, I mean, he was close. Some people say the prestige lies. That brass ring. Television these days. That's true. I mean, sometimes people would say, well, you know, television shows are just the quality that movies are.

That's right. And if you're not in some Marvel movie, you're not gonna be able to be in that. Although my mother would counter and say that television shows are now too dark, meaning they're, the way they're shot. Yeah, cause you gotta turn off all the lights in your house to be like,

is motion tracking on or something? I can't see anything. Back in the day during home improvement days, all the lights in your house could be on. You could see anything. Wilson would stand behind his weird fence and you could see the light shining off his forehead. Wilson from Castaway?

No, Wilson from, wait, is it Wilson? Wilson from Home Improvement. Wilson! No, he was the neighbor whose face you never saw. No, that's right. Yeah, did we ever get to see his face? No, because in the final episode where they went out and did a curtain call,

he wore a little fake fence around his face. A fake fence, that's right. And you know how I know that because I've watched it several times because the band plays Burning Down the House. Yes, yes. I'm by the talking heads. Anytime you're doing your talking heads research,

you're like, all right, I gotta watch this again. And I auditioned for that episode, that particular episode. Did you? The final episode. Could you imagine you would have met the talking heads themselves? Well, no, they didn't play it.

It was the Home Improvement band. They didn't bring in David Byrne? What was his name, Al Bundy? Who was his sidekick? Oh, God. This isn't Scott Hasn't Seen, okay? What are we talking about being there for? What the hell is Scott Hasn't Seen?

Oh, I shouldn't know about it. I don't have time for that shit. Listen, I'm here to set the record straight. Oh, okay. First of all, Mike Ruby and the No-Stag plumbers, those are not the only plumbers that do not smell, Scott. Okay, do you realize what he meant by do not smell? He meant there is not a discussing odor coming off,

not that they are. No, I know. I know. Okay. I smell good, Scott, sniff me. All right, if you really want me to. Get in there. Sniff, sniff.

Just normal, at least normal. Yeah, I mean, it's like a baseline. I wouldn't say you smell good. Yeah, I didn't put on Caloda X body spray or anything, but I do smell fine, Scott. You smell fine. You smell like a human being. I would say you smell like flesh and...

Flesh? Yeah. Okay, that's a weird thing for you to say. I'm gonna scoot a little bit away from you. Unburned flesh. All right, that's pretty strange. Look, Scott, I am, of course, one of the brothers of Flush Brothers Plumbing.

You are, of course, that? Yeah. How am I supposed to know that? You've seen the trucks driving around the greater Los Angeles area. I guess maybe... The Flush Brothers. I edit those out of my consciousness.

Why, Scott? Because, you know, if I'm out on the road, I only want to be looking at Porsches and, you know, Teslas. Interesting. You know, I don't want to see all of the service work. You don't see big white vans that say Flush Brothers.

I guess I haven't. All right, well, let me feel this. And your twins, is that what you said? Well, we were twins. Oh my God, did one of them get remarried? No. He got facial reconstructive surgery. Face off?

He took his face off. After he had an accident at Bush Gardens, Tampa, Florida. No. He tried to stand up on the Montu roller coaster. No. Oh, this was not plumbing related. No, no, no. He wasn't trying to fix the roller coaster.

Like, was there a hole in the bottom of the roller coaster? No, no, no, no. Shit was dripping out. No, no, no. Because if that was a professional job, this would never have happened. My brother was a little bit of a showboat and he wanted to stand up when they did

the little flash photography when you go on the big dip. No, you can't do that. So he stood up and he got a seagull to the face, Scott. A seagull. That's right. Oh my God. And he had to change his face so we're no longer twins, we're no longer brothers, we're no longer talking.

So wait, he didn't try to change, he didn't try to reconstruct his face as close as possible to what it was. He had to change. He said, this is a pretty good opportunity to get away from being this ugly ass motherfucker. When God closes the door. He opens another face.

So who did he look like then? Now he kind of looks like Roger Moore. Oh, the second James Bond. The third James Bond. The third James Bond, I have no idea. Unless you're counting David Niven and all the people. Wait, this is not. This is not Scott, I haven't seen.

Which I don't even know what that is. So wait, okay, so. Look, I'm a flush brother by heart and a plumber by trade. And so he's a plumber who looks like Roger Moore. Yeah, and he left the company to start his own thing. Oh, oh, really? Because I was gonna say he would be a panty dropper when he shows up to some of these shit-stained houses.

I don't know if when Roger Moore comes up, the first thing you think is panty dropper. I mean, he was good-looking and very soft. I think you think like an old movie, kind of grizzled, kind of old-style attractive. If Roger Moore, at 30, or how old are you? I'm 45. You're 45.

If Roger Moore at 45 were to come to your house and you didn't know he was a plumber, just he's like some handsome 45-year-old, I would say that would be a panty dropper situation. So you think there aren't other handsome plumbers, Scott? See, this is why you need a representative from the plumbing council on your show, Scott. Okay, yeah.

Teach me. Okay, because look, Mike came in here and he said, all right, first of all, he does this whole thing where he sprays himself with Axe Body Spray, and he goes into your house and he sets it on fire if it's not clean. First of all, Scott, that's insane. That is insane, and it's a lot to kind of,

for a new listener, for people to wrap their heads around. If this is your first episode, I feel like that is a, you shouldn't listen to that episode. If you want to be introduced to plumbing, this is the episode. This is the episode, so if we have a lot of plumber fans out there, you know, we don't have a lot of upscale fans. No, you got fans, the cleaning toilets,

the cleaning bathrooms. Exactly. They got the headphones on, they're like, ooh, life is so good when I've got Scotty Ockham in my ear. That's right. So if you're interested in the custodial services, talk to you, so tell us what we need to know. Mike Ruby has this crazy 11-step process.

You're talking a lot about Mike Ruby, and not about what you said you wanted to do. I gotta set the record straight. He came in here with some 11-step process, Scott, and I'm here to tell you, I could do it nine. Okay, name that tune. That's right, Scotty. So you want a nine-step process for cleaning toilets?

First of all, I want you to know, we are the Flush Brothers, our guarantee is that we are not going to play around in your bathroom. So that's a guarantee. All our trucks say, we will give you your money back if you come in there, if you chance upon us. If you chance upon us, if we're in there, we got the plunger in our hand,

and we're gonna play swords with it. You're pretending to be Ghostbusters. If we're sitting at the edge of your tub, and we're kicking our feet around, and we say, got you, got you. If you're pretending to take a bath going, ah, look at me, I'm drowning, I'm splashing splash. If I just dunk my foot in your toilet,

and say toilet foot. Any of that. You can have your money back. And so people are paying up front. That's a guarantee. Oh yeah, yeah, you got to pay, you got to pay more for me in the bathroom. Because people usually haven't paid at this point.

But so you're getting the money in advance. Well, I got to get the money up front. Okay. Now Scott, let me walk you through my process. Oh please. So this is in response to Mike Ruby. I think this is my distract to Mike Ruby. Okay, here we go.

Okay, nine steps. Step one, you got to answer the call. That's the exact step that Mike Ruby started with. The Lady Ghostbusters, answer the call. Answer the call. Well Scott, that's what you learned in public school, baby. Okay. So it's not crazy.

We've not deviated from Mike Ruby's process at this point. It's not crazy that step one is answer the call. That is something that you always do now, of course. So when the phone rings, you answer the call. You got to pick it up. If they call me at home, and my cell phone, I'm driving, I answer the call. It's the hero's journey.

Do you ever refuse the journey? That depends, Scott. If they don't pay up front, I refuse the call. But then they say, okay, I'll pay you. And then I reluctantly go, I'm back in. Okay, great. I'm thinking I'm back in. So answer the call.

Very good. Step two, of course, I put on my big boy pants, and I put on my tool belt. Is this the same as Mike Ruby's? I can't recall. No, this is patented step number two. Oh, okay, so okay. You put on your big boy pants, you say?

They've got big old overalls on them where I strap it around my shoulders, and I say, I'm a big boy. Put on my tool belt. Do you sort of look like the Super Mario Brothers? I don't want to hear shit about Super Mario Brothers, okay? Because as a brother's plumbing company, that shit has fucked me up for a very long time.

Yeah, I would think you'd have more trouble with Super Mario Brothers than you would have in Ruby. Well, they're not real plumbers that we have a plumbing war with, Scott. Right, okay. No, that's a good point. So step two, we put on, and of course, our tool belt is strapped tight to our body,

and all of our tools are not plastic. Okay, that's weird that you would... Some of them are plastic, of course. Some of them are plastic. Some of them are part plastic, some of them are plastic, some of them are little kid's toys. Oh, okay. Just to fill it out.

You gotta fill out the, you gotta fill it out. Oh, okay, because it looks weird to have a, like a... It looks weird to just have one big wrench in there. Right, yeah, one big wrench and a plunger. That doesn't make any sense. Right, so you gotta fill it out, yeah. You gotta tool some little wrenches, some little screwdrivers.

Okay, all right. All right, step number three, call a lift. So you don't have your own, you said that there were vans traveling all over. There are vans. Those are my subcontractors, of course. So they're just for advertising. Yeah, yeah.

My license was, of course, revoked back in 2017 for ghostwriting my whip scot. For ghostwriting? Yeah. What does that mean? Well, it's a little bit of, it's a little fun fad that they used to have in the early 2000s where...

But you were doing it in 2017. I didn't, I was a little late. Well, they would play some gangster rap music from your car and you would get out as it was in neutral and let it kind of go forward a little bit and then you dance next to it and then you jump back in. Okay, I remember this. Yes.

And then a lot of times people would not make it and crash the car. Yeah, so I tried to do it when I was getting up to a toll booth and of course I crashed into a toll booth, burnt into the ground. So I now have... Burnt into the ground.

Oh my God. That was using diesel fuel, Buckeye. So of course... Was someone inside it? No, it luckily was one of those Amazon ones. Oh, thank goodness. I was very, very relieved that I didn't kill anyone that day.

Yeah, oh, that day. Yeah, we don't need to... Oh, okay. Scott, there's a plumbing war. Oh, okay, well... Scott, there's a plumbing war going on outside. No man is safe. This is a podcast.

Don't say anything that you wouldn't want to... Okay, okay. All right, I won't say anything. All right, step four. All right, so of course I call a lift. That's step three. Now step four, pretend to be asleep so they do not talk to me.

Can't you just turn on the toggle on the like, I want a silent ride or... See, I don't update my phone because that's how they get you. Oh, that's how they get you for jury duty. They get me for jury duty. And tax is updated to my phone. So I'm not voting.

I'm not doing jury duty, none of that shit. Got it. So of course I have to pretend to be asleep. So of course that looks a little bit, something like this. I close my eyes, I lean back. And every few minutes I say something random like, no, don't leave that up.

John Grisham. John Grisham. Ain't no way I'm taking that on. I say stuff like that. So now in your improv, are you dreaming that you're meeting John Grisham or you're at a library and they're out of John Grisham? What do you...

Who's to say, Scott? You are because this has got to be motivated. Who's to say? Okay, all right. Now, it generally works. We're up to step forward. You haven't gotten to the place yet. And you said you could do it at nine.

Scott, I'm telling you, plumbing is something you go to school for, you learn. You're not just some freaking asshole like Mike Ruby just going into houses and setting them on fire. He didn't go to school, he didn't learn? I don't know. I've not seen, I've asked for his birth certificate and his college certificate.

I've not seen either. Now, step five, at the house, I tip the lift driver cash. Why? I like to be a nice guy. I think cash is a little better for them. And they don't have to report it, is it? They don't have to report it. They can keep it off the app.

I give them a little cash where they can get some gas a little bit later. Okay, all right. So we've just arrived. We only have four more steps. Okay, I think I'll be able to help. Okay, are you sure? Have you written these out in advance?

No, Scott. Okay, this is off the top of your head. Scott, these are the nine commandments of the flush price. I don't want your ninth step to be like a run on sentence where it's like a bunch of commas and you're like, and then I do this and then I do this and that. Well, we'll have to see, Scott. All right.

Now, of course, step number six, ask the customer to point me in the direction of the stank. Now, that is the exact same step that my groupie has. Now, again, that's something that we learned. I don't know where he learned it, maybe from a YouTube video or something. Right, right. Was there a rhyme that we had or was that for step eight?

I can't remember. Scott, I think you'll see where this is going. Okay, here we go. So they point you in the direction of the stank, which is usually within the belly of the house. Hopefully, because if it's not, sometimes we've got to get into a car, go to a guest house or something.

A car? To a guest house? I did Shannon Sharpe's house one time. Okay, enough said. He's got a lot of guest houses. So they point me in the direction of the stank. Of course, I start to walk in that direction. Is that a step?

No, those are the same step. And is that going to get me up there? See, already we're like combining steps. All right, step number seven, Scott. Get to the bathroom, check out the mess in there. And of course, look at the plunger and say, oh no, not today, sir. Okay, that seems like three steps.

But okay. No, it's one, it's one. Because you walk in and you find the plunger almost right away and I say, not today, sir. Wait, you're using their plunger? Sometimes. Okay. Because I'm not going to carry a shitty plunger

on my belly. I mean, that is a good point. Like if I were a plumber, I would probably say, do you have your own plunger? Because I don't want to like take one. I don't generally just use a plunger. I feel like they've already tried that. Yeah, plunger is like, yeah, yeah.

But I just need to make sure that I don't go in there, pick up the plunger, start putting it where my crotch is and saying, look how big my dick is, look how big my dick is. Okay, because that would be. Absolutely, would trigger a money back guarantee. Okay. And I would have to Venmo them back to $600. Okay, $600 is what this is called?

That's right. Well, I'm the best plumber in Los Angeles. Okay, so no matter what it is, you charge $600. If it's a small job, a big job. That's right. Okay. So that's a good deal. Or is that a deposit?

It's $600. And then if I have to buy tools and equipment, like that stuff. Okay, got it. Because sometimes I have to buy extra tools when I get there. Scott, you didn't go to school for plumbing, so you're not going to do this. Okay, I beg your pardon.

All right, so we're at, what, steps? That was step seven. Now, of course. That was step seven? Yes. We have one more step. Now, of course, step eight is disassociate, Scott. Okay, that's right.

I remembered now, there was a rhyme. I don't. Disassociate. Now, I don't want to go into there and actually touch like gross poop stuff or like smell urine or anything. Right. So I'm basically disassociate.

How do you do that? Do your eyes roll back in your head? Eyes roll, classic. Eyes roll back in my head. My tongue flops out to the side to fall down. Wow, like you're a dog? Exactly. I go, bleh.

And then I just knock my head on the counter and hope. And then we get to step nine, Scott. And this is the final patented step. Okay. Final patented step, wake up, hope the bathroom is clean. If not, I'll also give you your money back. Okay, now, yeah.

And this is what I asked Mike Ruby when he was on the show. Are you the one who supposedly cleans it? Like when you've disassociated or you're hoping someone came in, cleaned it up around you and then you woke up? Who's to say, Scott? You!

How often does this happen? Who's to say, look, Scott. Happens every time, it's nine steps. You're asking a lot of questions. Not a lot of my customers ask because I've got a 75% A rating. Oh, wait, so wait, this is a C. Is it?

Yeah. It's not three out of four. If you have a 75%, it's a C rating. Okay, well, a lot of the plumbers in Los Angeles involved in the plumbing wars all kind of hover around the C, C plus rating. So C is very good. Okay, I don't think so.

If you were to, like, if you ever go into a restaurant, which I don't know if you have enough money to do, I don't know what plumbers make, but. Okay, Scott, I've got an In-N-Out in my basement. What? That's right, Scott. A lot of people have, like, bowling alleys. You have a whole In-N-Out.

Functioning In-N-Out. Do you have the secret menu? You know I could get an animal style. Could I get a four by four? It depends. Well, you do have to still wait in about a 30-minute long time. Oh, no, really?

With a guy with a pad coming up to you? Yeah, he comes out and he's like, what do you want? I'm like, I don't know. Do you put the John 316 at the bottom of your cups, too? That's right, Scott. What are you hoping to do with that? Well, you know, I want to convert people to the ways of the Lord.

Okay, understandable. Now, Scott, I'm glad I was able to sit that straight. By the way, how does this work? Because it's on the bottom of the cups. I don't think I've ever looked at the bottom of my cup. Is it for people you're eating with? You tip the drink, oh, by the way, you would think they would not give you straws then,

because no one will ever see the bottom of the cup unless people are tipping it up to drink the last drops of it. I believe it is because they want the message to be sent to Satan. Oh, so pointing downwards. So you can get a whole 316. So it's like a big fuck you to him

of like he's looking up there going like, God damn it, look at all these people eating it out. He's so pissed. I'm seeing John 316 everywhere. You do know that Satan is, of course, connected to Burger King. No. You didn't know that?

Wait, the king of the underworld? The king of the underworld. Oh my God. How have you not known that? I mean. You're a pretty dumb guy. I don't know that I need to come on the show to hear that. I can stay home.

Oh, your wife agrees? Yeah. Well, Scott, look, I just want to say, I'm glad I was able to put it out there. I just want all the other plumbers. So you're calling this a success? Yes. You just did.

Yes. Because I don't want the other plumbers out there to come at me with violence, Scott, because the plumbing wars right now in Los Angeles, since Mike Ruby's been on your podcast. Was that the trigger? That was the trigger. It was sort of the first shot.

Insighting incident. There has been a lot of plumbing violence around the city, Scott. No. A lot of the companies around the city have been sort of choosing sides and fighting a war. I don't know that could be one, Scott. OK, wow.

Well, this is, I mean, that sounds like a terrible situation. It is. What exactly happens during the plumbing war? Well, of course, we all remember when Gary Sinkerman, the Sink King. The Sink King? The Sink King, of course. He does exclusively Sinks?

Yeah, he, of course, strangled Roger Rooter to death. Is that your ex-Twin Brother, Roger Rooter? No, that's not Roger Rooter. No, no, no. He's just Los Angeles plumbing. Oh, OK. Oh, wait. So he has his own thing going on in the plumbing.

And look, he's a part of the, we're on opposite sides right now. Oh, really? I would say that I'm on the side of ice, and he's on the side of fire. What are the two different positions here? Because what's the actual argument that you guys are having?

The argument right now is, which plumbers reign supreme? Oh, OK. So it's a typical, like, we're better than you. That's right, Scott. Do you want me to tell you about some of the plumbers in this greater Los Angeles area, Scott? I see you holding your phone up as if to read something off a list, so yes.

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. So sure, hit me. Of course, I've already mentioned. Roger Rooter and Gary Sinkerman. Of course. Of course, you've got Mary Munger, Queen of All Plungers. You've got big top toilets and more.

And the more is a freak show. The more is a freak show. These are their taglines. So I'll be telling you what they are. The more is a freak show? Because it's big top toilets and more. Oh, where the more is a freak show. A freak show?

OK. So they're doing big top plumbing. But they also have a freak show? Yeah, it's kind of like a circus with a freak show. The Jim Rome kind of thing where people are like nailing their penis to their chin. Yeah, you've got the bearded plumber. Right.

You've got all that kind of stuff. Interesting. Of course, you've got 24-hour plumbers. Let us spend the night. That's the catchphrase. Oh, it's 24 hours because they have to connect. They finish the job in 16 hours, and then they want to sleep at your place.

They want to make sure that the next day of coming back to make sure. They don't want to get called again. They don't want to get called back, so let us spend the night. So it's like a haunted house situation. You haven't seen any of these trucks driving around? Again, I don't know. I'm not really looking for them.

Of course, there's the clogged brothers. We don't like the clogged brothers because, of course, brothers, you know. Yeah, brother, yeah. But what do they do? They say, we don't do clogs. We undo them. Which I feel like is not that interesting.

So they have to differentiate between, they're not going to come over to your house and clog your toilet by taking huge shits. They've had a lot of sort of misinformation out there about them clogging toilets because they are the clogged brothers. Oh, I see. Yeah, I can only imagine if I were to read that in the yellow

pages, I would be like, oh, well, I know. I might need someone to unclog. Unclog it, but then you know. Have they ever thought of calling themselves the unclogged brothers? You're going to have to ask them, Scout. OK, do you think they'll ever come on? Maybe.

I feel like any of these guys have the potential to come on the phone. So you're sort of testing them out at this point. There's, of course, Noah's fart. We shall live on as God washes away our sins and duty. That's their catchphrase. We've got Lieutenant Streaks and the shit battalion. We don't negotiate with toilet papers, does it?

With toilet papers. It's one of the, look, you've got to ask these guys. They're going to be rhyming with terrorists or something, but it's just they don't negotiate with toilets. You have to ask these guys about it. OK, maybe I will. Of course, we've got Big Willie, plumber, plumber, plumber, time.

OK, this is a parody of Will Smith's Summer Summer Summertime Party. Who's to say, Scott? Who's to say? Who is to say? Of course, there's Tarzana toilets. You toilet, we Tarzana. Oh, Jesus.

Tarzana, by the way, is the city here next to Los Angeles? Well, I'm talking about only Los Angeles plumbers, of course. Oh, OK, yeah. If you do happen to have the Disney bundle, you could get Disney Flush, where Boba Fett will come to your house and unclog your toilet, and then he'll say Wizard or something like that. What about Grogu?

Yeah, you don't get Grogu. You don't get Grogu? No, no, no. Grogu specifically licensed to the parks alone. Oh. So you get Boba Fett, that's all you get. And it's actually Tamir Morrison shows up to your house. Does he really?

I can only imagine like the other 10 months of the year. Pretty dry for him. Yeah, yeah, he's like out there flushing towards the stuff. Of course, there's Rick's plumbing and barbecue. They will bring you ribs and brisket. It seems like there'd be another plumbing situation the next day, then. Well, I guess that's part of the hustle, you know?

Yeah, that's a good point. I think it's one of those things where they say in their commercial, look, we know your stomach's empty from shitting all over your bathroom. We're going to fill it back up again with ribs and brisket. Yeah, this is a good hustle, because they're probably paying $10 for the ribs, $600 to do the job. I mean, this is a good investment.

It's pretty good. I mean, they do have a $10,000 smoker that they do drive to everybody's house. So I feel like that kind of takes up a little bit. Of course, there's snoop plumbing, where a snoop dog comes to your house and just blows smoke into your toilet. Honestly, it usually works.

Really? I don't know. He'd be. It's really strong. He blows really, really thick smoke clouds. OK. And he normally does it. Of course, you got Wesley Pipes, always bet on crap.

Jesus Christ. OK. And of course. Oh, you're wrapping up. OK. And of course, Los Angeles plumbing, which I feel like they should have something fun or something good to catch.

Yeah, brother works there. He just says Los Angeles plumbing. I guess they get a lot of business out of it. Not even a catchphrase? No, they don't even have a commercial or anything. What about his pearly whites out there in picture form? No, he's a minimalist, they say. So they just say Los Angeles plumbing.

Los Angeles plumbing. That's it, Scott. OK, well. So yeah, there's a lot of bloodshed between those plumbers right now. I feel like Noah's fart is almost completely decimated by violence. Oh, my god.

That sounds so terrible. By the way, did you see me in that Rick Caruso commercial? No, what were you doing? I was just saying Rick Caruso's going to clean up Los Angeles. OK, well, you must be a. I'm pretty pissed. They're going to run up. But whatever.

Yeah, you didn't get that 50. I didn't get it. Whatever, I got 50 grand. You got 50 grand? That's right. He's spreading that money around. Yeah, he's got money, baby. You would think he would give it to the unhoused people

that he supposedly wants to help. Oh, well, OK. This isn't a political. This isn't a trap house. We can't be talking about that kind of stuff on here. And I'm just very happy as God that we're getting the word out about the plumbing wars. If you see two plumbing trucks like ramming

to each other on the street. That's the cause of it. Run in the opposite direction. Because this shit is getting crazy. They're ramming into each other, so there is no opposite direction. That's a good question. All right, run perpendicular.

Oh, I see, OK, got it. So they're running at each other. You just got to do a 90 degree angle. 90 degree, immediately, yeah. So always be ready to do a 90 degree. Please, always be ready to do a 90 degree. 90 degree, always be ready to do a 90 degree. Always be ready to do a 90 degree.

Try to say this, Scott. Flush Brothers Plumbing, try to say it. Flush Brothers Plumbing. Oh, you said it pretty good. It's tough stuff. It's hard to do very quickly. How fast can you do it? Here we go, Flush Brothers Plumbing.

Didn't know. I don't know, yeah. Let me try. Flush Brothers Plumbing, no. It's hard. It's too hard. It ain't easy. It's almost as if it should have been something else.

But you know, I can't. What am I supposed to say? My mother once had that last name. Yeah, and now what is her last name? Williamson. It's pretty, pretty normal. Were you looking for something crazy? Well, you know, give you an opportunity

for a big laugh on the right as we go into commercial. And I don't know what you're talking about. I could only be a little dribbler. I could only be myself. I could only be real. You're only talking about facts. Well, look, hopefully I'm the last plumber you ever have on this panel.

I hope so, although these other guys may be on. We do have to take a break. But look, when we come back, we have a traveler. Can you stick around, Frankie Flush? Let me check my schedule. You're damn right. All right. And we also have an author coming up.

We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here. We have Frankie Flush of the... Oh my God, what was that? Oh, just do a little flush sound effect sometimes. Oh, OK, yeah. I kind of wish I did have one of those little noise makers on the radio where I'd be like,

Frankie Flush! Where you have drops and stuff. You know, Paulette Tompkins and I have been recording our sound effects record for like 10 years at this point. Do you got a flush on there? No, we don't, yeah. But I mean, I think if you're doing a sound effects record, you want it to be the actual sound of it

and not a guy going like... Going flush, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be interesting to sell a sound effects record where it's just like one guy doing a bunch of sound effects. But that would be more of a Michael Winslow kind of situation. Yeah, you don't think he has a record where he's just like, helicopter. I hope he does.

I hope he does too, because I'd buy it. Yeah, I would buy it. Well, speaking of buying things, we have to get to our next guest and she has bought a lot of tickets to other cities and places, I would imagine, unless... I mean, she's a traveler. So I'm...

She might be like Quantum Leap or something. Yeah, that's true. You never know. Well, find out, if it's a Quantum Leap situation, that'll be my first question. Please welcome to the show Lena Don-Hom. Hi, Scott, oh my God. Lena, I'm so sorry.

Are you okay? I do not need to cry. No, I'm fine, I'm fine. Oh my God. I'm sorry. You were literally smiling five seconds ago. No, no, I'm fine, I'm sorry. What's going on?

Are you... No, it's nothing. Do we need to pause? Take a break? No, honestly, it's just like I got back from the worst trip of my life. So I'm just kind of decompressing, so sorry. How recently did you get back from the trip?

I got back today. Oh, okay, this morning or... Yeah, this morning. What was the airline? I think it was Albanian Air. Albanian Air, oh, LAX or was it Burbank? Burbank, actually. Burbank, oh, good for you.

I love Albania. They fly to Iraq. Burbank does international, that's really interesting. So would you take Barham over or what? I took Barham. I took Barham over, yeah. Yeah, good, good. What's, I mean, I feel...

I'm gonna keep talking about Burbank Airport. No, no, why are you crying? I feel bad, what happened on this trip? No, it's just like I was on a bachelorette and it was like pure hell, like straight up pure hell. I'm sorry, you were on a bachelorette? What does that mean? I went on a bachelorette party.

A party? Oh, okay. We need to say bachelorette, we have breathed now. Okay, well, I mean, if one were to say I was on a bachelorette, I thought you might think an episode of The Bachelorette or something. No, no, no. I think you would say I was on The Bachelorette.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I would be like, I was on The Bachelorette, but this is, I was on Bachelorette. Hey, I'm regretting asking you to stick around. What? You know what, you know what, Scott, we'll see. All right, we'll see how you feel when you go into the decks of Bray.

All right, although you did ask a very good question. Thank you. Obsessed with how she got over here. Yeah, he was asking better questions. Yeah. Okay, so you went to a bachelorette party. Where? In Albania?

So here's the thing. Okay, so my girl, Catalina, I love her to death, but we're like kind of new friends. And she asked me to organize this. To organize it? Bachelorette, yeah. Wow. Isn't that usually the maid of honor's job?

Yeah, but all of her friends, like she's got this crew of old friends, but they're all married and they have kids. Are they from other places? Yeah, they live like in the Midwest. Like it's weird, it's like a different vibe. And you guys are LA friends and you're right there, so she wants you to organize it

because everyone's gonna be flying in for it. I travel a lot. Oh, okay. So I know. That's something you do for fun or for work? For work, oh, where do you work? So I am a nighttime coach. Now, what does that mean?

You coach the night. You coach the night or you coach people at night? You coach the night. I coach people's nighttime routines. You what them? I coach their nighttime routines. So I'm like, you know, maybe tonight we tape your mouth or tonight we tape your forehead or whatever.

Tape your mouth? Tape, what? Tape your mouth, yeah, that's a thing. What? I'm also in a what situation? Tape in your mouth. What is that? You tape your mouth shut so we don't, as humans,

we don't use our noses enough. Oh, I've heard about this, I read about this. Yeah, Mike Ruby was talking about this with me. If you tape your mouth shut, you're breathing through your nose and that's like signals to your body to like calm down and it helps like when sleep apnea and it helps with all this stuff.

But then you also say sometimes let's tape your nose. I'm like, let's tape your nose or your forehead or like let's tape your butt or whatever. Just to kind of correct the other way, like you don't want to be breathing. Yeah, or like sometimes we tape your legs and your arms together. You help people go to sleep?

Yes. No, nighttime routine. You go through a lot of tape in this job. Lots of tape. And just like general like, what are you eating before bed? Have a big glass of milk maybe or like a steak. What's a big glass of milk to you, by the way, because you're a tiny, tiny person.

Is that like a small glass of milk to me? It feels like every time a woman's on here, you make her a small one. She's like they do it themselves. No, I don't know about that, Scott. And it's also a certain... I don't know, I don't know. But I would say it sounds like you're planning

a lot of things for people. So I get why your friend asked you to plan a trip. I'm good at this. I'm like a natural. Right. So the planning of Bachelorette Party, the type of training that you do at nighttime. Yeah, nighttime.

Bachelorette parties are nighttime activities, so yeah. Yeah, so, but like also I guess I'm just like cultured and like I go on cool trips. And like these women, these like Midwestern women, like they didn't understand what like I was going for. Yeah, I was reading, I believe it was a New York Times article or a Washington Post article. You know, the old gray lady, the paper of record

about where Arizona is now, Scottsdale is now a big destination. It's a hub. It's a hub. The Dale, of course. Yeah. So is that the type of thing you were planning or because it was a destination?

You said you were on Albanian air. I mean, I think Catalina wanted like, you know, she wanted like Vegas or she wanted New Orleans or whatever. And I was kind of like, let's do something really cool and like let's go, where do you want to go like internationally? And she was like Greece. I was like, perfect.

So anyway, I booked the tickets. Everyone's pissed. Like immediately everyone's pissed. Why? Because they didn't know. Well, they were just sort of like, did they just give you credit card info of like, oh yeah, assuming it would be Las Vegas or something.

Yeah, and I was like in first and they were all in coach. So the first like that was a thing. Because of points or you just spent the money? I just spent the money. I was like, I organized the whole trip. I should be like closest to the pilot. Did they all have to chip in for that? Is that?

Yeah, we all chipped in. Everybody pays for everybody. So they were kind of like, for whatever reason, they thought that Catalina should be in first. If anybody, I was just like, this is so annoying. Like this is so Midwest. You're being very judgmental of these women from the Midwest.

I'm being very like coastal today. But I'm just pissed. I'm like jet lagged as fuck. Right, no, that makes sense. I basically, we go, we arrive and everyone's like, this doesn't look like Greece. They're like, this doesn't feel like it. This doesn't look like Greece or where?

Were you in Greece? Well, this is the thing. Yeah, please tell us the thing. Because I'm having a hard time following the story without hearing the thing. So this is the thing. Yeah, I get to the thing. We get into a bus.

Basically, it's like a semi truck and we squeeze into the front. I was going to say, you get into a bus. Sounds like you're being loaded into a compartment. And we drive for like four or five hours and everyone's like, where are we going? Like what's going on? Like this doesn't look like Greece.

And then we get there and I'm like, surprise. Like this, we're in Albania. Okay, Albania. Albania. And had you ever been to Albania before? Well, so this is the thing. I'm finding it. So there's another thing.

I'm finding that this is the thing. It's a very important phrase on this podcast. How many things do you have? So this is the thing. Okay. Family is Albanian. Oh, okay. And this was, you know, everyone was pissed

because they thought it was going to be like an Airbnb, but it's actually my family's farm. My extended family. Yeah, Sikol, Magdalena and Bosch Kim. They all live there. Okay. It's a beautiful, like tiny Albanian village. It's just like a traveler's dream, like come true.

We're living on the farm or in the woods. This doesn't sound like a bachelorette party. I remember. Yeah, you're living on the farm. I mean, the bachelorette party is usually like three days. Couple days, yeah. You're living on the farm. How long were you guys there?

Two weeks. That's pretty low. Well, but that's because there's no cars that come in and out of there. So it's like, how are we... What happened to this semi that you were in? But that he comes once every two weeks. Okay.

To do what? To deliver. To deliver what? Goods. The goods delivery stuff. Kind of goods. I don't know. I wonder what kind of goods.

I don't know. Linens, clothes. Linens? Every two weeks. God, your family's swimming in the living room. Yeah, they got to suck the forever 21. Are they shitting all over their bedspreads every night? Well, so this is the thing.

They're on a farm. So like, obviously it's like dirty. I mean, they wash things, but they like to get their linens linened. Right, right. So anyway, everyone is furious at it. Now, do you think they shouldn't be furious? Yeah.

I'm like, this is like once in a lifetime opportunity. Like how lucky for you that you get to be here. Were there any kind of bachelorette games or activities going on? So I did organize some bachelorette games because like Catalina at first was, I think, a little like shook about the whole thing. I can only imagine.

How long did she think she was going to be gone for? Yeah, did everyone take two weeks off of it? They were thinking it was going to be like three or four days. OK. But obviously it was international. So that went pretty quick. So I was just like doing what everyone would do. I made the trip longer.

I changed the tickets. You surprised everyone. Everyone came to the airport. You'd booked the tickets. They thought they were going to Vegas for three days. Suddenly they're in Albania when they get off the plane. On a fucking truck going to the middle of nowhere. Like on the front half of a truck

that the back half is filled with linens. Right, yes. OK. Which was like so comfortable if you think about it. Like we're all in the back and the front and just like surrounded by like comfy men. Surrounded by, but are they touching you? Because that would be the comfortable part,

like being able to lie on the linens. They're not physically touching us, but they're like nearby. That's not comfortable. You're sitting on the bottom of a cold truck. I do have to say though, having nice linens, having nice linen like curtains and stuff. I do feel a sense of calm.

Yeah, it's just like the aesthetic. I mean, obviously it was behind us, but it was still like the aesthetic. Yeah. So I kind of feel like you've taken these people on what I would call a pretty crazy bachelorette party. Thank you. I mean, like in a weird, like in a way

where I would be questioning it as well. You know, I'm not sure that. OK, well. What were the activities that you would plan? OK, so this is the thing. We were going to we obviously had to work at the farm. Like that was you had to work because your family needed some extra hands.

Yeah, I mean, if we're going to feed like there was six of us. Right. So I was like only six. That's a small bachelorette party. Yeah, well, some people backed out once we got to Albania. OK, some people just turned right. Like got right back on the old Homer Simpson just like right back on to the plane. Yes.

But in this case, I was like, but like I did have the bachelorette games planned. So we did this really fun one where her husband, his name is a crunch crunch. And what's her name? I'm sorry, Catalina, Catalina Crunch. Oh, OK. Catalina Crunch.

It's a pretty beautiful hashtag for a beautiful serial. Was she going to change her name to Catalina Crunch or? Oh, no, I guess that's his first name. I'm sorry. Yeah, a bit like I think so. Yeah, like the last name could be crunch. I mean, I don't remember. I don't know. OK, yeah.

He sounds like he's the same last name. I don't know him very well. OK, but he was there, you were saying? No, we had him film himself answering these questions. This is a really fun game that they play on bachelorettes. So you ask the groom the same questions that you ask the bride and you basically compare answers. This is like the newlywed game, but you're not married yet.

Exactly. OK. So I put together the questions and I guess they weren't what everybody thought they were going to be. OK, what were some of the questions? Well, so I guess they were expecting the questions to be like, like, what is the bride's like shoe size? Right. And mine were kind of like, who do you do you think like the other ones cheated on you?

Oh, I guess that's maybe like a fun joke one to throw at the end. Yeah, that's pretty dark. But is that where it started, though? That was like number three. I think the first question was like, I think they were expecting, you know, like, I don't know. Like, what's your favorite color? And my mind was like, which one of you guys do you think has the most diseases?

The most diseases. Why do you feel the need to do what everyone? Yeah, the opposite of what everyone. Why are you counting his diseases? Is what I want to know. Are we talking about like heart disease? Diseases that are going to like show themselves in a few years. You know what I mean? In a few years.

OK, so no married for a long time. No sexually transmitted diseases. I mean, they probably I would guess Catalina has multiple estates. You think so? So this is almost an unanswerable question. Like, you have to know that there are underlying diseases that are going to show themselves in years.

It's just like a fun question. And how when you did this interview with with Crunch, yeah, how did he take it? Because I was he doing it under duress? It's he was not pleased. He was sort of like, I don't get these questions. I don't understand, because one of them was like, how many more years do you think your dog's going to be alive?

Oh, Jesus. So did he at some point refuse to do it? Or did you have to force him to? Well, they only got through three questions because he was like, I can't do this anymore. And I was like, all right, well, fail, I guess. So you still went through with it and played the tape. And after the third question,

he walked out and said, I'm not doing this anymore. Yeah. And it was dead air. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So that was that was one of the things you planned. Yeah. And then I planned like a scavenger hunt. Oh, OK. Which is that's good. I feel like that's a normal activity. Yeah, where you were going throughout town

or where you just on the farm, just the farm, like literally, like there's maybe one other house nearby. Oh, really? Whose house is that? Doshkin, Doshkin. How do you get there? How did he get there? How no, how do you get there from your place? Oh, it's like 300 yards.

Oh, so like three football fields away. Yeah. So we would I was like, why don't we trudge over? Trudge. Oh, that. See, if anyone comes up to me and says, like, hey, do you want to go on a trudge? It like already I'm I'm out at that point. I mean, yeah. But well, so I think they were expecting like the, you know,

like the scavenger hunt to be like, find another like bachelorette party, you know, a garter belt, you know, from someone get a condom from someone. Right. And I just did it more creatively. I was like, find like pigs fucking or like find pigs actually fucking. Well, it's a more on a farm. It wouldn't be that hard. Do they do that a lot? I mean, I have no idea.

Yeah, they fuck a lot. Oh, really? Rolling around in the pig pen. I guess that's good. If you're like on a farm, you want more pigs, right? Although at a certain point, if it's happening that often, I mean, is that too many pigs or I think it's every amount of pig is the right amount of pig. Oh, OK. Yeah. Do you know what their dicks look like?

From what I understand, it looks like their tails, right? It's like all really tight corkscrew. Why is that? I don't know. And just to say, Scott, you know, because like it does that fit a vagina or does it just like, you know what I mean? Like, is that the soft version of the? And then suddenly it's like it gets hard to go like uncurls. He goes, boy, oh, yeah, that's a good question.

I think when it goes in, it goes straight. So they don't have to screw their entire bodies around a woman. But you know what happens? So a sow after they come, they just kind of go around and around like their whole body and they really. So their whole body starts twisting. To a sound like they're a toilet in Australia. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

The toilets are crazy. Have you ever done that? Yeah, I have, Scott. Really? I have, of course. And there's a lot of crazy plumbing companies down there. Is that tough to get acclimated? Oh, yeah. We don't have time to talk about. You don't have time to get into that.

You sound Australian. Yeah, we have an Australian guest on the show sometimes. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I travel, so I can do all the accents. Oh, really? Every single accent? Yeah. Wow. OK. Name one. Nothing offensive, though. OK, OK. Oh, boy.

I guess I'm out. Why don't you do an Albanian accent? Ah, please. Can you help me milk the goats? OK, that's not bad. I mean, that's not bad. Is that how your family sounds there? Yeah.

Did you have any strippers? I mean, a lot of the huge ones. Yeah, so this was fun. So Cole, obviously, my cousin, he did. Obviously, your cousin. He did strip for us. That was one bad night. And how does he have a good body?

No. He has a farmer, like farmer bod. What does that mean? Like older man farmer bod. That's what you should have led with, because when I think farmer bod. I'm like, he could be really. No, like a man who's worked like into his 70s.

Oh, OK. But how old is he? On a farm. He's 51. So he has the body of a 70-year-old. Yeah, yeah. Like really run hard. OK.

Body. Yeah. And how is it received by? Were people, I mean, at this point, I would be just like. So Cole was basically just changing in his room. And I kind of had everyone gather by the window and look in. Oh, OK. So you, yeah.

Like a striptease. Oh, right. OK. So at this point, I would imagine everyone would be like, can we go home? Yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure. So this is the thing. There was no way home.

No service. No internet. Like we're stuck. And motor cars. I'm like trying to. Not a single luxury. No, no, no. It's raw.

And that's the point. Like that's what travelers do. Like part of being cultured and like understanding. Wherever you travel to, it sounds like you've only been to Albania. Yeah, I've been to Albania. And I've been also to, I've drove into Mexico one day. One day from.

I'm Los Angeles. How'd you get there? Four or five? Four or five. But I mean, like for me, it's just like I am. Like I do. So you've gone back and forth from Albania to Burbank. Why did you come to LA?

What do you mean? Why don't you just live in Albania? Just go live in Albania. No, because I need to tell everybody about my travels. What's the point of living on a farm just to tell the people that you're with, like I lived on a farm? Like the whole point of travel is to brag. I don't think that this is like, when I went to Mexico

for that one day, I came back. I was like, oh my God, the Alpastore. You guys would lose your fucking minds. So you had lunch. You had Alpastore for lunch and then you drove right back? Yeah. How close was this lunch place to the border? Oh, 20 minutes.

OK. I was like, fuck, if you guys had the Coke down there, not cocaine, regular Coca-Cola. You can get those here, you know. What? You can get those almost anywhere. Mexican Cokes. You can get them out here.

Oh. Well, anyway, I was like, oh, the Coke is so much better. Like the sugar. Interesting. So are you still friends with, what was her name? Sparkle, Catalina. Yeah, I mean, this had to have put some sort of a dark cloud on the relationship.

Yeah, why are you feeling victimized? I'm like, I was such a mess. Like we got back and obviously everyone's faced at the Burbank Airport. They're like furious, losing their minds. Wow, at the Burbank, everyone is so chill there, I mean, to get them riled up. It really caused a scene.

Wow. And she was like, I don't want you at my wedding. No. I don't want you. And I'm like, are you kidding? This is so Midwest. Like you're being so Midwest. Oh, man.

That's got to sting for Catalina. Well, it's just like all those girls are like so obsessed. Like I think I'm just a guy's girl at heart, like really. Sounds like you're not a girl's girl, I'll tell you that much. I think right now, I don't know that you're a guy's girl. It proves like the vibe I'm getting from you guys right now, like I'm definitely a guy's girl. I don't think so.

I'm not giving you any kind of vibe. Like I just feel comfortable around you guys. Like I don't feel you're judging me. I feel like you totally are on board with everything I said and you support me 100%. I don't. Cringe city, but I be. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know why you're crying. I feel like you've victimized all your friends. You took them to a place they didn't want to go. And you freaked them out by telling them they couldn't get home. I mean, so are you still going to the wedding though, even though she doesn't want you to go? Yeah, OK, when is it next week? I'm going to where and where where's the actual wedding?

It's in a little town called the gardens. The gardens, garden, bush gardens, bush gardens. Shit, that's where my brother, of course, had to had his terrible face accident. She's getting married in Bush Gardens. Yeah, it's so Midwest. They do weddings there. They do, yeah.

Oh, cool. Well, I'm so sorry that this happened to them, mainly. I'm not sorry. I mean, you're the cause of it all. You're the root cause. I mean, I really that's unfortunate. You're saying you're framing it that way because. OK. Well, it's just like if I like if I plan something for you. Yeah, I would like like.

Or if you don't, by the way. I can only imagine like I'm going to show up at the airport. Suddenly, I'm going to have a 70 year old farmer's body after two weeks. Like bailing hay and and unscrewing the the pig dicks from all the the salves out there. Right. Well, yeah, but that's what's so fine. Is this like a scam that you do with your parents where it's like they need people to work on these farms?

So you do have limited resources there. Well, they got a ton of linens. You befriend naive women, pretend to be their friend and then. You know, lower them. Lure them and tell me. Is that what this is? I mean, I've done this before, if that's what the question is. Like, yeah, I think.

Like if this were a scam, it would be called the Albanian farmer, right? You know, yeah. Well, I mean, I really get a lot of business for my nighttime coaching and I kind of bring not starting to think that might be a scam, too. How much of your nighttime coaching involves buying tickets to another country? Go to the airport.

Right. Flying there. It's a good question, because I do have everyone's credit card information. People trust you. Yeah, they do. I mean, I think it's like a really vulnerable thing when like you're in someone's bed with them before bed, you know. You get into the bed with them.

OK, we don't have time to talk about this. Equally as it should be. This is, I mean, I would almost, yeah. I mean, like, come back and we'll talk about it. More interesting. No. We got to talk about coaching. Yeah, unfortunately, we do have to take a break. All right, look, can you stick around, Lena?

Yes. All right. And how do you feel about me sticking around? Frankie, I'm going to give you one more chance. OK, I came back around. But if you say I'm stupid again. No, well, you don't ask stupid questions. Look, when we come back, we have an author, perhaps the only real guest to be on the show.

I don't know why he's in C-Block. I don't know what that means. But look, we're going to be right back. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here. We have, of course, Frankie Flush is here. That's right. And he's on Fin Ice here. My name's Frankie Flush, and I'm on Fin Ice.

Fin Ice. We also have Lena Don-Homme is here from Albania. And Burbank. And Burbank, yeah, by way of Burbank. And we need to get to our next guest. He's an author. Very exciting. Love to talk to authors on this show.

Please welcome to the show for the first time, Jack Lusty. Yes. Hello. Yes. Thank you for having me on your show. It is my pleasure. Always wonderful to have someone who I just think it's the hardest thing to do to write a book. Is that what you wrote, a book? Yes, so true.

I published, self-published a new piece. Self-published. And it really touched on me. A new piece? Sorry, I'm catching up. I'm on a two-second delay with everything you're saying. Yes. Okay.

Yes. You self-published a new piece. Yes, like a new book. A book. Okay, thank you. Yes, it's a book. Yes, it's definitely a book. Yes, so I'll have to stop. Because you were touching, you have a book next to you.

You were touching it, and then suddenly you said, I self-published a new piece. And I was like, is it just touching the book to fool me into thinking about it? Or is this one of those books with a gun cut out on the inside to pull it out and say, this is my piece, motherfucker, get on the ground. If people could see the book, they could see how thin it was.

That would be a very small gun, a tiny gun. I just want to thank you, Scott, for letting me have, having me on your platform, one of the biggest podcasts in the game I've been told. And I'm really hoping that your fans will go out and purchase my new book. Yes, I finished by me, Jack Lusty. Yes, I finished.

Oh, then there it is, you're holding it up right now. You self-published, and you've drawn on the cover with a marker. Yes, this is a prototype, yes. Prototype. Yes, yes. But you said you self-published it. Yes, I did. So online, if you wanted to get the online book,

that's easily getable. Now, if you want to get the actual physical book. The physical copy. Yes, this is the prototype of them, and if you want to get those, then obviously I make them by hand for each person who asks for one. And does it differ from the prototype,

or is it just exactly this? I think simplicity is the best form of getting the actual message across. You don't want to trip people up with like, oh, look at all the sparks and blips. Yeah, the bleeps, the bloops, the sparks. You want to be like, okay, I don't care about the cover, right to the words.

Great, all right, well, let's talk about those words, because what is this book? Well, is this, what is your whole thing as an author? What's your point of view? Well, what I'm dabbling in right now, because I can tell you, when I was in an airport. Dabbling in. Yes, when I was in an airport.

You are very evasive about what's happening right now. It doesn't want to get into it. I'm not evasive at all. I'll tell you right now, when I was in an airport. Ooh, Burbank. Burbank? No, this was in Portland. Portland, really.

I was in Portland, I was at a Portland airport. Sounds like a nice country. Yes, it is a state. Portland, Maine, or it's not a state. You sure? I'm very sure. Everybody was walking around like, they were at the state.

Oh, okay. Oh, no, no, no. Oregon is the state, or Maine. All right, well, we don't have a fact checker here. Two cities we're traveling to on the Comedy Bang Bang Tour this August. Oh, be there, show up, purchase my book. Maybe I'll be there to sign them.

I don't think that you're gonna be at the merch table. I really don't think. If this thing comes flying off the shelves beforehand, you might want to bring me out. What is it about? What is the book? Well, in Portland, I was in an airport, it was a layover, and I picked up one of the books

from the store, and it happened to be an erotic novel. It happened to be an erotic novel, or you picked it up because it was an erotic novel. I picked it up not knowing what it was. I just saw a shirtless guy on the cover, and I thought, this could be a hero. Oh, look at this adonis. Yes, I was like, oh, Conan has a shirt off all the time.

Sure, a Thor? In every Marvel movie, even Paul Rudd had to take his shirt off. Exactly, yeah. So this could be one of those. This could be one of those. So when I picked it up, I started reading, I finally understood that,

I think this is a romantic novel, but it doesn't ring true to what I know romance is. Oh, okay. So you wanted to write your own kind of brand of romantic romance novel? Yeah, I wanted to write a reality-type erotic novel that really speaks to the people to really kind of say like, this is what it's like.

Yes. This is what it's like in the Throws of Passion. This is what it's like in those moments of love and lust. Okay, so love and lust. Yeah, so if you don't mind, I would love to read an excerpt. So wait, you're just gonna come on the podcast and read a bunch of stuff?

That's pretty crazy. Hey, look, Mike Barbiglia did it. Okay, I mean, it just seems a little lazy. Come in here and just read a bunch of stuff. It's like, all right. Bring your phone down, by the way. You've been typing up a new list of something the entire time you've been here.

I don't know what you're talking about. All right, just gonna pick a random page. Okay. Here we go. And you can tell he's doing it because we can hear you actually, do we? Yeah, we can hear the bug. Oh yeah, this is a good one.

Our bodies begin to tangle. We kiss, we do more than kiss. Pulsating, I begin to enter. Her face screams of passion. I have to try to match, even if only on the outside. Inside, I'm thinking, what a bad decision it was to take that late lunch. Even now, in the throes of passion,

I can feel the salami creeping up on me. It's slowly taking me down. Salami. No matter how hard I try to push through, I know I don't have much longer in me. One, two, three more pumps is all I could muster before I abruptly get up to run to the bathroom. It seems this time, it wasn't the premature ejaculation

that ailed me to us, the bubble guts. Oh wow. Oh. Okay. I guess that's pretty real. Bubble guts. I mean, I guess I relate to that once, maybe, like maybe it's happened to me.

More than like, oh, I saw them in their eyes and their shirts just came off from our looks. You know, like nobody, that doesn't happen in real life. I'm pretty sure that what you just said, like that's literally what marriage is. Like every time you get married, like every night is like that. Every time you get married?

How many times have you been married? Me? You just sound like your guest from last week. Me? Who, me? Yeah. Yeah, multiple. No, okay.

Multiple marriages. Yeah, because I'm not. So they always end in Albania with them working on a farm? Yeah. Wow, look, I thought there was some very sexual romantic parts in there, but I get a little distracted

when you start talking about shit, especially as a plumber, I mean. Yeah, I mean this is very triggering for Frankie, plus, you know, he's gonna disassociate, like your tongue came out and was like flying for a second, yeah. Well, you know, that's not the only, that's not the only experiences

that I write about in the book. I mean, that was only like maybe even half a page. I mean, yes. This looks to be a book, it looks to be at least 500 pages. I have had many sexual experiences. These are a lot of my own personal experiences that I took and wrote into a book.

Oh wow. So vulnerable. Congratulations on having all these sexual experiences. Well, you know, I do it for the people. What, sex? Yes. Yes. To make them?

Yes, basically when I decided to get this book, I went on a rampage on Hinge. Oh, I see, a Hinge rampage. So wait, you've been on dating apps to have sex with women to write about that for your book. Interesting. Yes, yes, and though in everybody who's out there that's wondering, they all knew what the process was.

I was very much. Oh, you were up front with them. I was very up front with them about what this was. But I feel like everyone on Hinge in LA is like trying to do a career thing anyway. Like they're fucking you up to like have a career. I wouldn't know, but yeah. What is Hinge?

Hinge is a dating app. Hinge, it's like Tinder. Oh, is it? But you know more. Interesting. Yes. Thank you. This is a whole new world to me.

More mutual friends. You can see people's mutual friends. Oh, weird. Okay, yeah, I have no idea what this is. Well, yes, it is a dating app and trust me, it is one that. You can date on apps these days, crazy. Okay, anyway, go ahead.

Yes, yes. So, you know, I think right now would be a good time to read another excerpt. Just so I can get. Sure. Just so I can get. Yeah, you want to lure Frankie back. Because I was a little triggered.

I want something where I'm not necessarily thinking about work, you know. Okay, let me get one. Oh, okay, this will be a good one. Okay, this page is true. A lot of pages of it. One thrust, two thrust, three thrust, four thrust. I'm not accounting.

Five thrust. Oh no. This can't be happening. I confidently told her this was going to be an all night affair. I stopped. She asked me, am I all right? I say, yes, I just haven't finished Russian doll yet.

And I would love to right now, before it's taken off Netflix tomorrow, is the first after all. She says, I think it's a Netflix show, so it's always going to be there. I'm already in the living room, acting as if I didn't hear her. I sit down, TV value 150.

She cuddles up beside me as we watch the whole season. What do you know? Looks like it was an all night affair after all. Now, so that's not too loud. The volume on 50, I usually turn it up to like 77. Yeah, sometimes that's it far away from 50. Well, you know, if you have a whole setup that's going on, like when it's not just the TV itself,

it's like, oh, you got the whole speakers and the base thing and also the subwoofer. Like, yeah, 50 could be pretty loud. Okay. And I have a very small studio. So when it echoes in the room, it's very. Got it, got it. I mean, that's not the only thing I'm taking Umbridge with.

That was just the first thing that jumped out at me. I mean, more than that, I would say, I mean, I guess it's true to you, I guess. I mean, I think that can be true to anybody. I don't think Russian dollars have been taken off Netflix. They just put it back on. Well, as well.

Well, I would say they could take season two off and I would be fine with that. Interesting. Now, can I ask you, is there a story in this novel or is it just sort of a collection of essays? Is there a connective tissue between these romantics? I see what you're saying. And not so much a connective tissue as more so,

like a little bit of me talking about my experiences before then I get into a specific experience. You know. So connective tissue. Yeah, so I wouldn't say. I wouldn't say it's like, oh, this is the journey of, I don't know, like a romantic novel. You just drop us in like cold, you know, cold open,

just like you're having sex. Right into it. It's a chapter in itself. Every excerpt is a chapter. Wow, okay. How many chapters do you want in there? 422. Damn, that was a crazy hint.

420, and how many pumps? What is it about? Six pumps per experience. Everything is, every experience is different. Sometimes it could be a small amount of pumps. Sometimes it could be a surprisingly large amount of pumps. Like six? Sometimes it could be a normal amount of pumps.

Okay. What would you think is a normal amount of pumps, Scott? I mean, I tried to get into double digits. So like 10 or 11 is good. Yeah, you know, I mean, if I can make it there. Okay. I can make it anywhere.

Okay, and that's a good start, you know, so. Oh, good start for you. Oh, okay, this is a lot like killing one lawyer. Yeah, I mean, so to me, and I should also be on like, all those are not 400 plus different women. Right. Oh, okay, so you did. With the same one.

Wow, so they went back for more. Yes, of course. Even after that. How many women is this with? I would say about 130. So, you know, 130. So you're having sex with women about four times before you break it off?

I wouldn't say I'm having sex with them four times. I would say we're having sex with each other. Oh, okay, yeah. That's a good way to look at it. I'm pretty sure they could write their own kind of, you know, answer back towards mind to be like what they were also going through at the time if they wanted to.

I think you should probably read three or four more. Okay. Just because I'm starting to get a hang of this thing. Yeah, I'm sorry, yeah. What else do you have? Three, maybe four, maybe five, I don't know. Or one. Well, I like the about that you count in these,

so I'm interested to see. Yeah, I want to hear how many pumps you actually got. Well, the more he reads it, the more he can read. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. All right, so here's a good one. We'll just go read for read on this. Okay.

This has been a whirlwind, but now here I am. Me and the cashier from Rouse. She throws me on the bed. She's very strong. Not to be outdone, I rip my own shirt off. I'm still the boss. She begins to take my pants off. I start to giggle and say, stop.

Could it be me of all people believe this is moving too fast? I ask her something about herself. I could tell she isn't interested by her, I could tell she is uninterested by her answer. I soften at the realization that once again, I am just into the play thing for a woman's enjoyment. I ask her, what she likes about me?

She says, I don't know, your olive skin. I'm black. I was gonna say, I was a little confused by that part. That was a really interesting one. Yeah. You didn't even get to pumps. Yeah, I was surprised there was no pumps. Yes, I think that was one of the kind of early experiences

because a lot of these are my hinge experiences and a lot of these could be just even before hinge. Oh. Because one of my earlier experiences where me and this cashier from Ralph's got together and it was just moving too fast for me and I realized that I was somebody who needed a little bit more of a connection.

Well, she didn't even know you were black. It was, that's fine. Because I don't think she was paying attention to me at all. I could have just been anybody in the room. She just wanted to get off, probably from her Ralph's, having a tough day at Ralph's or something and just needed somebody to unleash the pressure from her or something

and I was just that thing. Yeah, yeah, so you never completed the pumps. I never got to the pumps. I think I got a little self-conscious. How many, I mean, the book is called Yes, I Finished. How many times did you finish? How many times did you actually finish? Did you actually have an orgasm?

I would say all three excerpts at this point have ended without you completing it. I mean, I guess maybe that's the through line is you keep reading and you're like, well, it says you finished. So one of these, he's gotta have finished. Well, to be fair, I would say sometimes sex isn't about finishing.

A lot of times actually, maybe. I mean, it usually is though. It's usually done when everybody. Okay, well, yeah. Like edging. Okay, well, everybody in the room, you know. Pardon me? Edging.

Lena? You sat up really tall for that one. Is that something you do with night coaching? Edging, yeah, no, I've seen people edge for sure. What are you doing to the mic? It's very Midwest. It's very Midwest. Okay, I mean.

Well, you know, we talk about finishing a lot. Well, every, you know, every male. You've named your book Yes, I Finished. We're not talking about finishing a lot. We talk about finishing a lot. Everybody's in here seems to be talking about finishing a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I would definitely say that I have finished within these experts at least 70% of the time. Is the, yes, I finished about the sex or about like, yes, I finished the book, like a finished writing book. That's what I thought it might have been. I think of it as a double entendre. Okay.

Yeah. Did you, I mean, did you finish the book and then you said, oh, I have a great title for this? I think the title came first. Oh. So you're like, I'm going to write a book. I'm going to call it Yes, I Finished. Yes.

And I'll figure out what that means for you. And then, yeah, exactly. And then I sat on it for a little while, then. What do you mean you sat on it for a little while? I sat on the title for a little while. This is before even I even wrote the book of this. I didn't even know I had the idea to write an erotic novel. Was this even before you picked up the book in the airport?

Yes, this is before that. Wow. So I already had it in my mind that I wanted to write a book. And then you thought of the title first. Yes, I finished. What did you think the book was going to be about? I had no idea. You just liked those words.

I did. It was something that just felt so uplifting to me when I said it. And I was like, I got to write a book that mirrors that. Yeah, yeah. So then when you read this sex novel in the airport, you were saying, in Portland? Yes.

Yes. What was it? By the way, it's weird when you see someone reading a sex book in an airport. Well, it would be weird, especially if they thought that it was a sex book when they picked it up. But if you think you're about to read like swashbuckling I mean, it's like when you used to go to a bookstore

in the airport and they would have like penthouse magazine. And then I saw someone buy one and like read it on a plane once. It's just like, you know. I like when people are watching like full on like sex like movies with like graphic sex scene on a plane. Like it's one thing if like you're watching something and it's like, oh, shit, I had no idea. Oh, like a monster's ball you're seeing a highly buried.

But I think I would like I'm just I would watch it obviously. But I think like fast forwarding makes sense for like men Yeah, do the skip 10 seconds button for men, but not for women. Yeah. Interesting. But wait, aren't men looking at it over your shoulder and getting horny? Hmm. No. Seems like the men should be watching.

I only sit near women on flights. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting. How are you able to figure that out? I basically get into like first class and I'm like, OK, so this isn't going to work. And then I like move everyone around. OK, interesting. God, you sound like a nightmare to travel.

Well, I'm glad that you have achieve orgasm. Seventy percent of the time you say that's not a good. Those aren't good numbers, by the way. Not bad. I feel like it's last. OK, for a man, it's not good. All right, well, we want I think you're going to. I'm going to read one more. OK. Oh, thank God.

And I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised by the excerpt goes OK. Maybe there's a fun narrative twist or ties all of them together. This is an excerpt from Yes, I finished by Jack Lusty, self-published prototype. Do you want something to drink? I ask. She asked if I have coffee. I say I do and I'll make some right away.

She says she likes her coffee black with cream. As I walk back to the kitchen, I think to myself, why does she say cream like that? Like she emphasized it and then winked. Hmm. Maybe it's nothing. I hear a call out after a couple of minutes. Remember cream, heavy cream. OK, I say I hate when people micro manage me.

I'm not going to forget your cream. I mean, you just told me. Afraid to over pour the cream, I bring in the coffee. First with the intentions to let her pour the amount she wants. I wanted to give you the option to pour your own cream. I look up and I see her as she's now sits naked on my nicest Ottoman. That's cool.

That's cool, she says. I intended to get it the more organic way than it hit me. Is she going to make me burn my penis and hot coffee? That's the end of the extra. She closed it with such authority. Like he just like obviously that's the end of the story. Some sort of bike drop moment.

That's barely sexual. I feel like this book is more about the sort of unhinged. This is what you should have called it. The unhinged, unhinged adventures. Yeah, because you're unhinged, unhinged of the neurotic lusty man who doesn't understand sex and doesn't understand when someone is naked. The problem why I had to write this book in the erotics

in the erotic novel space because people like you don't really understand what this is. I relate. Seen it before. I relate more to the book that you were talking about before. They were like looking at each other with lusty passion. Then exactly that you want to live in the fantasy world. I'm not a fantasy world.

I mean, I've done it a few times. I don't think so. No way. I guess I relate to the Russian doll one. You see? Yeah. Exactly. You see what I'm saying?

The rest of them I can't really tell. It's like when you watch a movie and you're like, oh, this is how this is how it is. And then you get in real life and you're like, oh, interactions don't happen like that at all. That's what my book is. It's an open your eyes. You're used to the erotic stuff.

She wanted you to come on her. Yeah, she just wanted for she wanted you to sort of come on her. You're disassociating. Yeah, that's right. You're tongue-flopped up. I'm gonna say that. I guess that's understandable. It's not that kind of show, and I hate to be indelicate,

but she wanted you to either masturbate yourself and spray. I don't know. Gism, how do you want me to say this? On to her facial parts. Oh, my God. And body. Empty your plumbing on her. Thank you.

Oh, yeah, that's all right. I'm going to honestly say, if at any point in the time that she wanted me to orgasm, let's say, I would say that it would be in the coffee and nowhere else. That's just weird. Hey, I don't judge anybody's kinks. So when I got on here, people who wanted stuff. True.

I think like simple communication is so important and just making sure like everyone's on the same page and just communicating what you want and what you think. Like ask questions, you know. I did. I ask a lot of questions to myself in the novel. No, no, of them. You should be talking to them.

I mean, yes, you know, the third person didn't even know you were black. So yes, I mean, maybe that's something you could communicate at the beginning of a date. You know, like make sure you get that out of the open. Well, I would feel like I would hope that they would know. Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, honestly, I parade it around a lot in one way.

You know, I wear it on my sleeve. I always kind of just bring it up in the conversation. You know, sometimes there's a bragging way, but also sometimes it should be like, just so everybody knows. I'm black. Sometimes when I enter like when I was trying to get the book published and I would get meetings and stuff, before I would enter the meeting room, I would yell out,

just so you know, Jack Lusty, who I am, I am a black man. And I'm walking into the room. So people aren't surprised. Yeah, so people aren't surprised. I understand that. Should I do that too? Should I? Because my company's called the Flush Brothers.

Should I be like, I'm the Flush Brothers, but you know what I mean? Brothers, right? Man, I do that because my brother's not around anymore. I think it's a good thing to do. I think it's polite to do, you know what I mean? Come in and be like, just so you know, I'm a brother and I'm gonna be in your house.

So don't fucking try to bullshit with me. Yeah, I mean, well, then that makes the question because yes, you should, you know, I think you should do that, obviously. But if your brother then got facial construction, like Roger Moore, is he no longer black? No, he did the Sammy Sosa treatments where he lightened his skin.

And I gotta say sometimes he looks like the ghost of Roger Moore, but. Is he good at baseball too now? Yeah, he's pretty good. He's got like a 290 average. I mean, God. He gets on base pretty much. He's got a high on base percentage,

which really is what counts these days in the month of August. Can he get home though? Does he take him home? It depends on where he is in the order. Sometimes he's in a sort of dead zone in the order, but he really gets rallies going, I must say. Yeah, okay, interesting.

I mean, is this like in a plumbing league of some kind? Yeah, look, plumbing league. Thank you for doing it. This isn't the majors. No, no, no. The plumbing league that we have had to shut it down recently because a lot of violence has been happening out up in there. Oh yeah, I can believe you.

But he ended with a 290 average, of course. Well, Jack Lusty, congrats on the book. I don't know that it speaks to me necessarily. Okay, well, you know, I mean, like I said, it's 425 pages, so I'm pretty sure that you could at least see 300 stories in there that you yourself personally can relate to. And everybody in your audience,

I think that you could also relate to a lot of these stories. Yeah, well, I mean, you didn't read 421 of them and I related to zero so far, so. Well, maybe we could give this one the CBB pump, right? Yeah, that's a play on the CBB bump, of course. It's for pumps, for you. One pump, two pumps, let's sell some books for my man Lusty.

Yeah, where can people get this? You can get this online. Where do you mean by that, though? Like anywhere? Well, my name is Jack Lusty, so keep Googling Jack Lusty. Just keep Googling, guys. At some point, there will be a website. I haven't got it together just yet.

Still trying to get a little bit of the funding out. So check in every couple days. Every couple days. Also, your name, Jack Lusty, I don't know that I want to Google that constantly. Just constantly Google Jack Lusty. And at some point, first of all, Jack. And then, like, I don't know.

It does sound like you need help with your bedtime routine, though, I have to say. Oh, don't follow this. You don't want to go to Albany. Maybe I hardly ever sleep. You know what? Maybe I come over, maybe we tape you up, and we see where the night takes us.

By the way, this is not like the coffee situation. She does not want you to ejaculate on her. She just wants to take you to Albany. Well, we don't know that. This could, they're K, everybody. Could be an expanded edition, too. Maybe, you know. Scott, you've been telling me about looking at my phone,

and recently, I just got a, the reason I'm looking at my phone is because I got an alert from my credit card that says I've purchased one ticket to Albania, one way. Oh. When did you get my credit card information? Well, so actually, this is the thing, everybody. We're all going to go on a trip.

All of us? Yeah, we're leaving for Burbank soon, so everyone's going to have to get there a little later. You just got to bar him at this hour? All the studios are getting out. It's crazy. The Warner Brothers, Universal, that kind of traffic? I packed your bags and everything,

so we're good to go. What? I don't know. Just going to tape you guys up, and we're on our way. All right, well, look, before we do that, we were running out of time here, guys. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called plugs.

I'm from the streets. That's so funny. Hey, little piggy! Too free for a little tiny bitch. Get your eyes off of here. Made by Tucci. Yes, that was Lily's Lament by Tucci. Wow.

What a beautiful voice. I feel like that music could go along with any of the stories in your book, Lusty. Yeah. I mean... It's short enough. You get three pumps in, you dip out. Hey, I'm always looking for producers to help me with my audio book. I haven't done it yet, but if I can maybe fix it.

Why do you need a producer? Someone just press record. Well, I don't think so. Well, hit record, Joe. He could help you out. Okay, well, we'll talk after. All right. All right, guys, what are we plugging?

Frankie Flush, obviously. Yes. You must have things to plug. Yeah, well, of course. I did the plumbing for a little television show on Amazon Prime called Fairfax. And, you know, season two dropped on Friday, so all the episodes are available on Amazon. Really? That's right.

And what is this show about? It's about, I mean... This show is about a bunch of hype. Is it about the mattress stores on Fairfax? That's absolutely not right. I mean, they might actually go there in an episode, but this show is about all the hype beast little kids that live on Fairfax looking for fresh sneakers and new fashion. And it's kind of like South Park for TikTokers.

Okay. Is that a good picture? I don't know what I'm going to watch it after hearing that, but... I'm looking at Scott and I'm like, dude, I should have said that. It's not like a bunch of buzz words. That's like, I guess. All those things sound good, but it's got an incredible cast. You've got, of course, the amazing Billy Porter is one of the stars of the show.

From Cinderella. From Cinderella. You got Jabuki, young boy. You got the whole cast. It's really fun. Who'd you say? I second. Jabuki?

Oh, okay. I mean, come on. Are you on Twitter? Barely. All right. Well, I'll forward you some of his tweets. They're very funny. No, thank you.

So you check out all the episodes on Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime, and they're all out right now. They're all there. Season two. That shit is funny as hell. Very good. All right. What would you like to plug here?

So I helped a woman recently with her bedtime routine, a gorgeous actress named Lily Sullivan. Oh, yeah, I know her. Yeah. She's stunning. What was her, what was the problem with her bedtime routine? The bed's too big and she felt like she was drowning. But it was only a twin bed. The bed was normal sized and she fit right in it.

Everything was normal about it. She just needed to be, she needed to get taped up. Okay. Just totally taped up. Fully taped. Yeah. Fully taped like the mummy. Yeah.

Not the Brendan Fraser mummy. No. Yeah. The original mummy. Okay. So yeah, you guys really should follow her online at L-I-L-I-Y-I-L-Y. And then also I think she's in a show called Killing It on Peacock a little bit. I thought you were going to start a little bit of Monica in my life.

And then she's also got a great podcast called This Book Changed My Life on CBB Prince Sons. All right. Sounds very good. All right. Jack Lusty. What would you like to plug? You got anything out there? I would like to promote my book Yes, I Finished by Jack Lusty.

Like I said, continue to just Google Jack Lusty and at some point. How often? I would say at least once every week. Oh, okay. That's not bad. Once a week. Google Jack Lusty Finished. Yeah.

Jack Lusty. What about Lusty, Jack? What about Lusty Finished? I mean, hopefully. Thank you guys for giving me all the buzzwords that I need to be able to put into Google to make sure that it comes to my page. Yeah. Also, I want to promote the one guy.

I called him in the parking lot of a Ralph's and he asked, I begged him to buy the book. This book that I actually have right now, he bought it. I had to borrow it back in order to bring it to the show. So you sold it to him before he read it? The prototype. He borrowed it back. I borrowed the prototype back. But I told him that in exchange, I would promote his stuff.

Oh, okay. His name is Bones Adrian. He's on that on Twitter and I think also on Instagram. Hopefully, I'm saying that right. He seems like a really charming guy. Bones and Adrian. It's hard to mispronounce those. Right.

So hopefully, I'm saying that right. I don't know. He just wrote it down on sheet of paper and I'm just, that's what I read it. I'm reading it right now. Bones and Adrian. Yeah. It's crazy to say. He seems like a really cool guy and I think he said that, you know, if you want to see

what he's doing, whatever he usually post about it. So I think that's what he said, but he's the first person that brought a book. But hey, you, you listener can be the second. All right. That's a good pitch. Just Google that out there. Wow. I want to plug.

First of all, look, head over to CBBworld.com. We got a lot of great stuff. First of all, all of the full archives of this show, all of the previous live episodes and ad free episodes are over there. Plus so much stuff. The aforementioned CBB presents. We have some great ones. One coming out this week.

We got episodes of Hey Randy and big chunky bubbles just put out an episode of his show. Plus we have bananas for Bonanza and we have three of them over there and Scott hasn't seen. I believe we're watching Paris is Burning this week. But I also want to talk about the tour. Oh my God. The CBB tour. We are coming to a town near you if you lived near these towns all of August. So many dates and we've been putting the lineups together and they're looking really good.

So I'm really excited for everyone to see as we haven't been out there in like four years. So we're excited to see everybody head over to CBBworld.com slash tour and you can buy tickets and let's close up the old plug bag. Take the other. Oh That was great. That was frankly Mr. Stanky by God damn it Russ. Thank you so much to them. All right guys.

I want to thank you so much. First of all Frankie flush. Yeah. You were on thin ice but you never said I was stupid this segment. So you actually cleaned it up. You sounded pretty smart when you were talking about books. Thank you. Thank you so much.

We're good friends. We're good friends now. Will you help me defend myself against the toilet stoppers? We stopped toilets dead. I don't know about that. All right. The death squads the death squad of plumbing. So I do need protection if there's anyone out there.

I'm not quite sure about that. Jack Lusty want to thank you so much. Good luck with your book and good luck finally achieving orgasm. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. What do you think an orgasm feels like? I think it feels like when somebody punches you in the stomach. No.

No. I mean. But like you like it. Okay. I guess for some people maybe. That's what it feels like to me. I always go ah. Then I lose my breath.

Yeah. Lena Dunham. Hi. Ham. What? Dunham. Dunham. Sounds like you're saying Dunharm.

And I'm worried that you are harming people with you. Dunharm. Yeah. Do no harm as they say in the medical profession. So what are we doing? I'm so excited. Everyone has their pack. I guess I haven't even looked down.

We're all kind of taped. My arms are taped together. You're all taped together. I didn't realize we're taped together. When did you do this? I did it while you guys were talking about orgasms. Oh God. You were so enjoying ourselves.

Your eyes were glazed over. Look, we were doing a podcast. We had to talk about this. We were in it. Hey, I don't expect anything less. But I just am excited to get to Burbank with you guys. And we're going on a surprise trip. Who knows where we're going.

We're going out there. We're going out there. No idea where we're going to go. It's going to be amazing. Probably Vegas. Oh God. Okay. She's putting tape around my mouth.

Oh. Use your nose. Use your nose. You guys are going to thank me later. It helps your skin so much. They're exfoliating. All right. Well, if I come back and do the show next week, I've made it back from Albania.

Hopefully. Can't wait. Yeah. Can't wait. All right guys. We'll see you next time. Thanks.