Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Shout Out Shaboozey (Mo Welch, Carl Tart, Greg Hess)

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

Break off a new hundo with stand-up of note Mo Welch, who joins Scott to discuss how her relationship with dad inspired her stand-up special "Dad Jokes," and being the B.J. Novak of the new Office reboot. Then, Coach Prime swings by to look for some Dogs, and shoe-store owner/proprietor Juvenille Booterie, aka: James Armentrout, talks about the struggle to transition to a hip-hop career.  Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

No, do not be a comedy bang, bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang. Comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang. No shirt, no shoes. Now I have ringworm. Welcome to Comedy bang bang bang bang. Ah, yes, thank you to J.D. Bamba, in all caps, too. J.D. Bomba, I think is how it's pronounced. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. My name is Scott Ackerman. And it is always great to break off another hondo. That's right. This is episode 901. We are breaking off our 10th hondo, if you can imagine. In just a mere two years, we'll be up to episode 1,000. That's incredible. But we love breaking off new hundos, and there's no better group to break off, said hondo than with this group. Coming up a little later, we have a former athlete and current coach, and we also have the owner and proprietor of a children's footwear store. So that is, I assume they're the owner and proprietor. I would imagine they propriet it as well as hopefully own it, but we'll find out

about that in a little later. In a little bit is what I meant to say, not in a little bit. Is what I meant to say, not in a little later. I am so sorry. I apologize. Is our editing machine still broken? Yeah, getting worried. It's still broken. That's going to go out exactly as it occurred, unfortunately.

But you know what? Let's get to our first guest of this new hundo, our 10th hondo. It's very exciting. She is a stand-up comedian of note. And what do you think about being a stand-up comedian of note? I love it. I'm making business cards tomorrow. People have noted that you are a stand-up comedian.

That's the review. They've just noted I do that. She has a wonderful new, I'm going to call it a docu-special, like a hybrid of a documentary and a special, although if you're truly making a portmanteau of documentary and special, wouldn't you shorten special? So it would be docu-esial. You're right.

You know? 901. you still got it. Yep. I know one. It's called Dad Jokes. And we're going to talk about it here. And it's her,

she's joining the exclusive One Timers Club. This is exciting. Please welcome Mo Welch. Thank you. No one has to clap. No, no, no. It's a podcast. There's no audience, but you're here.

I know I said it was. I always pause. I always pause for applause. I said it was such verve and force that it seemed like there should have been just a thunderous, you know, level of. applause here, but unfortunately, there is no audience. But welcome to the show. It's so good to see you. Thank you. You know, I drew that at some point. That's my comic right there. You're pointing to either

my phone, which I don't think you drew my phone. You're pointing to my glasses maybe, I don't know, or you're pointing to this picture of my daughter. Yes. Or you're going to have to be more specific than just gesturing towards a million things. That cartoon head. Which one? Right there. Yeah, that's my cartoon. So at some point, I know I'm in the one-timers club right now, but at some point I was sitting at this table. That's right. Wow. So on what occasion do you recall? I don't. I don't recall. Have you ever done a podcast before? This is my lady. No, I'm a one-timer. I'm a one-time podcast guest. It's so great to meet you, so great to have you on the show. Big fan of the comedy of note that we discussed earlier.

And I watched your special. And let's roll up our sleeves. Let's get it. get into it. What do you say? Let's do it. Okay. This is now a lot of comedians put out a special, almost to the point where they're not even special anymore. They're just, they're normals. I agree with this. You know? And yet you put out a hybrid, which I'm going to call it docu-eschel. This is a mixture of stand-up comedy as well as something else. Do you want to tell and inform our listeners? regarding as to what that might be? I will inform. I made a documentary about going to see my dad for the first time in 20 years.

20 years. Yes. And then I put stand up around it because it, you know, just to cut the tension. Did you always think he was going to have stand up around it? Was that the intent? No, no. Were you just kind of filming? I thought it would just, well, you know, on the road before we had some shows like on the way to go see, you know, I want to like New York and

And we had some footage from there. And then it just kind of looked, it ended up being like 35 minutes, the whole thing. Of stand-up or of the documentary of your, oh, yeah. And so we had to make it closer to an hour. Right. How close is it to that hour, by the way? I want to say it is like 58 minutes or something. Really?

Is it that sure? It seemed longer to me. Maybe it was. That's what I like when people. Yeah. It seemed longer. It seemed like really long. Well, let's discuss it.

You haven't seen your father. in two decades up till this point when you made the film. And what were the reasons behind that? We moved. So when my parents got divorced, we moved from Central Illinois, which is featured heavily in the dock. So much so that other than stand-up of the approximately 25 other minutes, 35 other minutes, it never seems to veer out of there, does it?

We're just stuck in there. And that's how I felt when I was a kid. stuck around those cornfields. There's not even, you know, that town that I'm in, in the Eschel is, no, no, no, in the docu is under 400 people live there. There's not even one store. And that's where I was a preteen. There's not even one store. What does that mean? There's no, no place where anyone sells anything. There's no business. There used to be a gas station when I was a kid. And we used to go, we used to walk a mile to go to that gut. That's tough when, The gas station goes out of business.

The gas station. Like the one profitable, like oil. And it's, believe it or not, believe it or not, it's not because of electric cars down there. So just there's not enough people. They're not, I mean, it seems like they would have to drive to go buy their groceries. Yeah. So the gas station is like making hay. Yeah.

Maybe making hay is the better business out there. That would be nice. Yeah. I'll be right back. So it's a very small town. What is the name of the town? Armington. Armington.

Yeah. So people like look down. at their bodies and they go, I don't know, let's just name a town after this thing. Absolutely. So you grew up in Armington. You moved away after your mother and father got divorced. Right. And then what happened?

So then we moved to, we moved to Oak Park. We moved to Oak Park. Now this is in Illinois. Yeah, that's right outside Chicago. Yeah. And so we moved there and then we just never see this guy again. He just goes off. He's got his own life.

He gets married to Penny. never seen her wear a bra it's fine but it's uh he he's got all of his stepchildren he gets a new family does he does he he doesn't have any more natural children of no well not that we know of but there's been people you know there've been some messages there's been some facebook messages so he marries someone else and that just never has occasion to ever swing by oak park yeah well he did uh on my 18th birthday he came up to take me off the child support but he didn't come to Say hi. Yeah. And you know, I have four siblings. So it was like, it was a lot of kids to leave in the dust. Right. Did he pay his child support the entire? No. No. He never paid it. He never paid it. Yeah.

So when you turned 18, it was a big day for him because now he doesn't have to pay it anymore. And you know, it's kind of fun when they go to jail, when they go, when those dads go to jail, they, the bail is set at like $5,000. And all that money goes. to my mom. So my mom's always like, God, I hope it gets pulled over. You use the money. I could use that five grand.

And so, the last time you saw him before this experience was when you were 18? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Around 18, yeah. So you're maybe, no, no, no,

before that, it was like, maybe it was like 16 because he came up, but he didn't come to say, say hi to me. So maybe it was like 15 or 16. scene. Now, this experience in having this type of father in the docu-eschel, you note that this has led

you to writing a certain type of humorous punchline and set up. We call them jokes. Punch up. Punch up comes first than set up. So you've written a lot of jokes about your father. Yes. And you were wondering why that is. Right. So I, had all these jokes about my dad because to me was like, I don't know, it was easy, but I always thought, oh, that's funny. Even though looking back, I'm like a lot of audiences, you do that setup and they're like, where is this going? God, this is depressing. And I kept going, though. And, and, and, but that's what I asked myself before I did this special because I was just like, okay, why do I have all these jokes? I don't even know this guy. And so I compiled all the jokes I had and then I wrote a bunch of new ones. And I thought, like,

oh, maybe I'll get some new experiences if I actually go meet him because they were all like in the past childhood jokes. Right. And now you want some adult dad jokes. Yeah. Hey, so I met my dad and this happened. Yeah, I met my dad and that was weird, you know. So you do a, you chronicle, which is a fancy word to say that you film yourself. You chronicle this journey to the far off town of Indianapolis. Is that where he is? In order to meet him, you set up a meeting. We don't see the ins and outs of the setup of the meeting, but you reach out to him. Yeah, and I had a few friends that it was like a three-person crew, and we go out there. And so they had his number, and so they were able to speak with him, you know, text with him. And I didn't know if he was going to show up.

Right. Yeah. I really didn't until like the second I saw his truck. And I was like, oh shit. This is happening. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a cross between you doing stand-up about the experience, as well as doing some of the jokes that you've written in the past about your father. And then a lot of you getting there and revisiting your old haunts, including the graveyard.

And there's one very funny part where you go to a certain place and knock on the door. And, yes, I go to, well, my dad used to live in this trailer in Atlanta, Illinois. And that's confusing, isn't it? It is. It's like, can imagine. That should be illegal. My sister lives there, too. And so you're like, I don't like it.

Yeah, because, like, they all talk like, they're like, you go to Atlanta, Illinois. And it's like, it's just the Atlanta Georgia accent is so much better. It should be like IMDB where, or SAG, where if you name a town, you can't name any other town. exactly you know because then we would know where the simpsons live you know yes yeah finally the mystery is solved but um so atlanta so you your your father used to live in this trailer in atlanta illinois yeah i used live in this trailer and this was like the last time i saw him and i was uh well yeah okay so then i was 14 14 yeah so it's 14 and we were at his trailer and um he had this girlfriend friend named Jeannie.

And anyway, so he, I don't know where he was. Is that not germane to the story? You kind of like toss it off. No, I was just like laughing because this didn't make the special because it's so fucked up. But one time Jeannie told my older sister, this is so sorry. Oh, that's all right. This is, I mean, hey, we take the light in the dark here at comedy. She was like, all I remember, two things about her.

She made us goulash. And she told my sister that my dad had a big dick. how did this come up i don't know that's the two facts i know and then she told me and i was like i don't need to know this there's only so much goulash until you got to start talking and then what else what else what else what else um so so so what so you you go back to this trailer in the special so i go yeah so i go to the trailer and i try to knock on the door because it's the first time i got my period was at this trailer so then i go try to like find the people that live there so i could tell them that i got my in this trailer.

You'll have to, you'll have to, you'll have to see the reaction. Yes. And so it's a, it's a combination of your stand-up, you preparing to go to the meeting and visiting your old haunts.

And then finally there is the, the confrontation, although that makes it sound way more heated. The meeting. The meeting between you and your father. The reunion. Yes. And so it's a combination of all these things.

but very funny throughout. It's not incredibly serious, although you do, there are some serious parts where you're talking to your mother about how she kept going and having five kids. But it's very funny all throughout.

And how do you like it? Are you proud of it? I hate it. What? You got shouldn't watch this. No, it's, I was really proud of it because I just, you know, I had this idea and I was like, I don't actually go see him. Why don't I bring a camera?

And then, of course, I regretted that before meeting him. I was like, what did I do? But I was proud of it because I just like put, you know, I just like paid for it myself and was like, let's. And then I, you know, recruited a few friends. And we were just like, yeah. Did you pay the friends? No. No, I did.

Yeah, they get paid too. Well, it's very funny. It's on Hulu currently. people can access it via hulu.com, I would imagine, or some sort of app that they would have on one of their devices. They would put in to the search bar. Probably, I mean, dad jokes would probably make it come up right away, but you could probably put up dad and then.

You see, just go down the list of things that are named dad until you get the, but watch all of them. I bet that it would be no later than fifth. Yeah, dad, dad. What else is named Dad? Daddy Dearest, Daddy Daycare. Oh, Daddy Daycare. Yeah.

You think who streams Daddy Mr. Deeds? Daddy Mr. Deeds? That should be the sequel to Mr. Deeds. Daddy Mr. Deeds. He's a father now. I love this idea. I own the idea, by the way, since you set it on my podcast. I've already mailed it to myself. Aw.

Well, it's very funny. It's touching. And it's a good encapsulation of who you are as a performer. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay. All right. Now, let's get down to business here.

It's all over the internet. You're starring in the office reboot. Wow. Starring is a big word. Well, it's an ensemble. Are you the gym and or Pam? I'm at the bottom. Okay.

So you're the, who is at the bottom of the office? bottom of the office winner go. Stanley. Hey, that one just said something. Wow, they got their one line in. Hey, that girl just said something. Have you filmed this already? Yeah, we filmed the first season.

The whole season. Yeah. So it's actually coming out. And I'm a writer on the show, so we wrote, so I was in the writer's room. So you're the BJ Novak of the office room. Everyone's saying it. Everyone's saying. Everyone's saying, I am a stand-up note and I'm the next BJ Novak.

So it's, how many episodes is it? When's it come out? Give me all. All the details. Dish, sister. I don't know when it comes out. Tell me everything. You know.

Let's make it exclusive here on this show. I'm breaking off a new hundo. What if they cut every line I have? What if? Gosh, you ever think about that? I mean, but the thing is,

is you get paid when that happens. I know it's like, yeah, your mom brag about you. Are we really doing you for the money, though? Yeah. The money is great. Yeah.

You're rich now, by the way. We haven't talked about that. Yeah, yeah. After one season of television. After, after funding. own special. Yeah, I'm pretty rich. And who else is in the cast? I know you got Alan Havy, right? Yes.

And... Oh, you got Tracy Letts. I'm really like it. Incredible playwright Tracy Letts. Yes, Donal Gleason. Sabrina. Is that how do you pronounce it? Donal? Or are we all just guessing every time we talk about it? It took me a while to learn it as a Midwestern or public school. gal um so you got tracy lutz an incredible playwright don't old gleason a uh british actor yes uh you have

tim key do you know tim key i don't he's hilarious he's he's also a stand-up performer okay or one man show sort of performer so you got some comedians in yeah i've got some comics okay yeah alan havey's a comedian also of note yeah and uh is it is it fun to do this kind of thing where like i assume that you're always coached to just look at the camera after every line and go like, well, you are, they kind of, I kind of wish that's all I did, but just always just be like, yeah, anytime anyone else talks. They're like, that girl looked at the camera. What if you were just looking at the camera the entire episode, like one of the cameras? That would be great. I wish that were just my character and just like, I'm just tracking the camera

wherever it goes. They're like, that's not how it works. And you're like, everyone has a different relationship with the camera. That's right. But it must be fun to do that classic office style. Yeah, it's fun to be on a set like that, for sure. And it was, I mean, it was my entire year last year. So that was interesting because I mean, I was on tour at the same time. So you were on Zoom acting or? That would be great too.

Just that being good? Yeah. I mean, they make you self-tape these days. Like, why can't I then self-do the part? It would be great. Everything would be like that 30 Rock COVID episode. Yeah. But it's a fun show.

You were saying how many episodes and when did come out? 10. And I don't know when it comes out. Seems suss. Let's call someone at NBC. You would think it would be a post-super Bowl kind of thing. Or is it for Peacock or is it NBC? It's Peacock, as far as I know.

Maybe it's, I have no idea. They don't tell me anything. I don't tell you anything. You're sitting around in the writer's room. There must be some goss where you're like, hey, when does it's come out. Ear to the door of every executive. Me trying to figure out information. Wow.

Well, it's a secret apparently, but it's coming out at some point soon. And it may be on Peacock where the Traders is, as well as Deal or No Deal Island. I can't wait to watch that. That's tonight. Yes. We're taping this on a day where the Dealer No Deal Island has an episode. So this very exciting day for us, we're not only breaking up a new Honda, but Dealer No Deal Island is on tonight.

And we'll get to see exactly what happens with. The suitcases. The suitcases are the star on the show. The island. The island is number two on the call sheet. Suitcases are number one. I think they all share number one, every suitcase. I've never seen that show, but I'm so interested.

How did they do that? They just took a reality show and they said, let's put it on an island. Like, wow. Yeah, it would be fun to do like Jeopardy Island, Wheel of Fortune Island. Jeopardy Island. It really is like, deal or no deal is the, a show that has no drama because it's like basically a coin flip island.

You know, it's like, is it going to be heads or is it going to be tails? Yeah. And then you have to guess which one it is. Imagine having to get that wheel

from Wheel of Fortune to an island. Man, you'd have to break it up into at least eight pieces, I would think. You have to put that on a plane. To fit it in the overhead bin? Well,

the office, what's it called? The office, like, it's called the paper. The paper. Yeah. Now, the office sold paper.

The paper. sells offices? What? Does any of this make sense? Exactly. No, that's exactly what it is. Okay. My character is just like selling different office space in different cities.

And then there's the movie office space. Yes. Which who knows what they're selling? They never even go into it, do they? This is crazy. I don't know. But the office paper edition comes out soon. But most importantly, Dad Jokes is out there right now on Hulu.

Everyone should check it out. Mo, can you stick around? We have some great guests. We have a former athlete. Did you ever play any sports? I did. Which ones? Basketball.

Basketball. You're tall, right? Yeah, mostly basketball. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, I'm, I was a forward and then a guard. Forward and then a guard. Okay, well, I don't know that our former athletes knows anything about that particular

sports. Okay. Yeah. But we'll find out a little bit later. We also have the owner and proprietor of a children's footwear store. So this is a packed show. We're breaking. off a new hundo today.

So this is, I mean, you must be very honored right now. I'm so honored. I'm so honored. I can't wait to hear about children's shoes. Sure, great. All right. Well, let's take a break. When we come back, dad jokes, of course, on Hulu. When we come back, we're going to have more with Mo Welch. More Comedy Bang Bang.

We'll be right back after this. Comedy Bang, Bang, Bang. We're back. We have Mo Welch. Dad Jokes is out on Hulu right now. While you're there, you can check out everything else on Hulu, like those weird movies or those documentaries, like a day after. The music documentaries, too. Yeah, music documentaries, but like a day after anything happens in the news, there's like a Hulu documentary like, Luigi Benjione or whatever his name is, like, the mind behind a killer.

It's like, how did they slap this together so quickly? And you're in that esteemed company right now. Yes. I'm in that too. Oh, really? Okay. Mine behind the killer, yeah. We have to get to our next guest.

He's a former athlete. I don't believe of basketball, although I can't recall if he played two sports, much like who are the two sportos? You got Michael Jordan, who played baseball and basketball. You have, who else? Is there another two sports? Dionne Sanders? What's that?

Well, here he is. Yeah, let's talk to him. This is Coach Prime. What's going on, Scott? How are you? Scott, what's going on with you, baby? Not a lot going on. Scott, boy, you're looking good.

Thank you so much. I tell you, Scott, you're looking good, boy. Thank you so much. This is Mo. Mo, what's going on with you, baby? How are you? You're looking good, Moe. Now, Moe was saying that you might have played two sports?

I did. Which one? I did, Scott, playing football and baseball. Football and baseball. So you, why does everyone make baseball their second sport? Like, you know, is it easier than all of them? You got to swing that thing. Scott, you got to swing that thing.

Okay, that makes sense. Scott, I know you be swinging that thing. Scott, I know you be swinging that thing. I, look, I played soft. once in a charity game. Some ball. Do you like the balls to be as hard as possible? Hell yeah. Ball's going to be hard.

How hard is a football? Is it like just a stone, like granite or something? A football is about, how would I describe it? Let me think here. A football is about as hard as a church wafer on Sunday. A church what on Sunday? Waifer. A church wafer.

A community. communion wafer on Sunday. Imagine a bag of communion wafer getting thrown at you. Oh, God, you'd hate that. In prison, someone comes by with a pillowcase full of communion wafer. And they beat you up with it. Yeah, exactly. They let you know that you on eight turns.

You're in the D block. Coach Prime, it's great to have you. Scott is great to be here. And you look good. I don't know that I do, but I appreciate that. You, of course, have Coach Prime is one of your nicknames. Neon Dionne was one. Name some more.

Prime time. Give me some more. Come on, Scott. Give me one more. I know you got one more. I know you got one more in your pillowcase. That's all I have. Did you have another one?

I don't know. That's up to you to figure out. But you, now you coach football. The Buffaloes, baby. The Buffaloes, hey, we're coming. Okay. And I, let me tell you something right now, Scott, because that's why I'm here. Because my son, Shadour, is leaving.

My best play. here Travis Hunter is leaving. My other son, Shiloh, is leaving. Scott, I need dogs, man. And why are you here then? Because I don't see any dogs here. I see dogs. I need dogs, Scott.

If anybody, if I need one thing to make sure that the Colorado Buffaloes is still coming next year and coming hard. Because these boys coming hard. How old? I've never been able to figure this out. How old are the people who are playing on your team? Between 18 and 30, I guess. Oh, right. So they're adults, though.

Yeah, it's college, Scott. Oh, it's college. Then you go to college, Scott? Very briefly. Where you go? Are people still in college at 30? They can't be. You go to college at any time.

You can go to college at any time. I guess. So why don't you just get a bunch of NFL players? Because when you get to NFL, Scott, you lose your eligibility. Once you become a pro, you're no longer amateur. Okay, so that answered my question. I have a few years left. You got a few years of?

Yeah, I got a good arm. Well, Mo, I need those. Okay. Are you, are you, Mo? Are you, Mo, are you a dog? I'm a dog. Okay. Yeah.

Well, you sign up. You sign up, you come on out. Is there a sign up sheet? How does one- Is it a sign-up sheet? I'll be posting a sign-up sheet outside your house on the Cork Bowl. All right. Well, you might be able to get some really interesting players then, you know, Andrew Lloyd-Weber. Name them.

Name them, they're all dogs. They're all dogs. Because I need dogs. Cactus Tony? Oh, yes, a dog. So, do people have to study as well? or can they just take football? Everybody got to study,

I don't play around with them books. You got to get your books if you're going to be on my team. I need books smart dogs. Okay, so this is why I don't think I could go back to college and play for me. That's the issue with you, Scott. See, you don't like to study. You don't like to do your research. You didn't even know all my nicknames.

How many units do you have to take? 18 a quarter? 18. This is more than people normally have to take. Full loads, God. I need a full load. I need a full load. I need a full load because we're coming.

I need a full load because we're coming. But I would think. that you would want people just to take like, you know, football. How many units is this? Three or four? What? How many units is football? It's not a class, guy. It's not. Really? You don't get any credit? It's not a class. It's a kennel because I need dogs. And I got dogs on my teeth. All right? Why are your kids leaving then? Are they turning pro? Yeah, they turning pro. Yeah. They turn in pro just like old dad. So who are they going to play for? Do you know yet? Shit, I don't know. I don't know. I cussed. I don't normally do that. I'm a man of God. I mean, we have the super. I mean, we have the super. Bowl. Was it yesterday or is it coming up this weekend?

I'm not quite sure. Let me look at the schedule here. Yeah, you tell me. All I know is, deal, no deal. I don't come on the night. Not me excited for that. It's going to be full of dogs. We had the Grammys last night.

No, Super Bowl is this Sunday. Super Bowl is this Sunday? Yeah. Oh, right. And the Grammys was last night. Yeah, the Grammys, of course. Shout out to Shibuzi, man. Of course, we got to get that out of the way.

First of all, shout out to Shibuzi. A dog. He's a dog on that microphone. Shout out. Who else? Who else won last night? I mean, probably Prince was given one of those Lifetime. Lifetime Chief, shut out, out, Prince, man.

Yeah. A dead dog. A dead dog. He was a dog, though. He was a dog when he was robbed. Now he's a dead dog. Yeah. He's riding his bike everywhere.

French riding his bike? Yeah, he used to ride his bike to go get those prescriptions. I didn't know that, Scott. I didn't know that. Yeah. Well, I, uh, Mo, do you want to play? I mean, I would love to play. Yeah.

I mean, I'm looking to do something new. I'm a mom. I just feel like I need to do. like changed things up a bit. You a mom? Yeah. A mom dog. Yeah.

I need a mother dog. I need a mother dog. I need a mother dog on the team. Because you got a lot of young boys on this team that need mother dogs. Yeah. A lot of young dogs. A lot of puppies. Yeah.

A lot of little pups. Who need to be disciplined. Yeah. I'll teach him out a roll around. You need to grab him by the neighbor the neck. Yeah. Are you sort of akin to a pop a dog? I'm a big dog.

You're a big dog. Yeah. I'm a dog, man. Scott, you look good. Okay. Thank you. So the buffalo is this, where's the team located? Colorado, bold to Colorado.

This is confusing. Buffalo, Colorado, where are you? Colorado Buffalo's an animal's guy. I know. It ain't just a town in upstate New York. It's where my friend OJ used to play, though, Buffalo. Oh, yeah. OJ was a dog, man.

OJ was a dog. Yeah. I tell you, he's just running through the airport. Yeah, with that suitcase. Shout out Shibusi, man. Shibuzi won. He won't a Grammy last night. Yeah, he was running through with the suitcase, with the isotone of gloves.

He tried to combine all of his product placement into one commercial. Yeah. Carrying, uh... We're in the Bruno Mali. We're in the Bruno Mollies carrying a cut-co knife. Passed a naked gun, 33 and a third poster. Just get them all in there. So how, I mean, obviously football season is just included.

Uh, rest and peace to football. season as well. It just concluded. It's concluding next week when the Super Bowl happened. Sure, but I mean, your season's over, right? My season's over. Yeah, it's. College football season is open. College football is in the fall. So you're, you're gearing up. Gearing up for the next season, baby, and I need dogs.

I'm recruiting. What was your record this year? Nine and four. Nine and four. Do you only play 13 games? That's it. That's all you need. Lucky number 13. I mean, anyone can do 13 of anything. Yeah. And speaking of 13. Shout out to Shabuzzi for winning 13 Grammys last night.

Shout out to him. But you know what I mean? Like it sounds hard playing football. Like, oh my God, we can do that. But it's only 13 games. It's not like baseball where they play... We've done 13 shows in a week. Yeah, we're breaking off a new hundo here.

I could, you know, I mean, it's not like playing basketball, 82 games. Ugh, God. So you know that, but you didn't know that you think it's confusing. You know that basketball has 82 games in season, but you think it's confusing that our mascot is above it. Look, who knows why? I know what I know. I do remember Michael Jordan wearing a 72 and 10 hat. Yes. So that's why I know it's 82 games because you add 10 to 72 and

that's what you got. That's what you got. Yeah. And that's the best record ever. Is that still the case? No, that is not the case no more. Someone beat that record? Go to stay warriors. Scott Steph Curry and then boys and the boys is dogs. How many did they lose? A nine. They lost nine. 73 and nine. Wow. Incredible. You think anyone will ever go 74 and 8. I'm sure they will. But right now, and that team didn't win the championship, you see. Yeah. They got taken down by LeBron

James, a dog. A total dog. And that's why, who won those 16 games, and then they lost the Super Bowl? That was a New England Patriots, John Brady, dog. That's right, yeah. A total dog, right? Yeah. A total dog. Why didn't you, did you ever go into broadcasting?

I did. How'd you do? Great. We weren't just still doing it. Because I coached football now. Scott, I need dogs. It wasn't enough dogs in the broadcast booth. Well, it seems to me like you got Chris Collinsworth. Not a dog. Really?

Not a dog. Not a dog. Al Michaels, not a dog. What about Aikman? Troy Aikman, definitely not a dog. And that's my man. We want Super Bowls together. You were on a team together?

We were. Which one? So you know that basketball has 82 games. But you don't know that I was on the Cowboys. You were on the Cowboys? I was. Wow. I won two Super Bowls with the Cowboys.

Full of dogs. Wow. Incredible. Was Emmett Smith on that team? He was. See, I know that. So you know that, but you don't know that I was on that team. Sorry.

Scott, when I was walking in here, you know what started barking at me? Dogs. Dogs. What kind of dogs you got up there, Scott? I think if the question is, do you know what started barking at me? The answer is always going to be dogs. Scott, I started walking out of the stage. You know what started barking at me?

A random woman. Oh, okay. She said, get out this young. What were you doing at her yard? I'm looking for dogs. Oh, okay, that makes sense. They call me the dog catcher. Do they really?

Yeah, now they do. Add it to the list. Okay, we're going to add to it. Neon, Dion, Prime, and now the dog catcher. Yeah, the dog catcher. That's right. So how do you think you're going to do this year? I think we're going to do great, Scott, because we got Moe coming in.

Moe's going to be a starting quarterback. Yep. Starting. She's taking her for her to do it. So who do you hope she'd do her place for? When do we have the draft coming? The draft is coming. Okay, so the Grammys was last night.

And the Super Bowl's this Sunday. Two balls this Sunday. The draft will be in April. Okay, so that puts it into perspective. The draft will be in late April. The draft is always approximately two months after the Grammy. Two months out of the Grammy. Yeah, okay.

So that's how we can always calculate it. Night for a dog. Speaking of the Grammy, shout out of Shibuzi. Yes, of course. Speaking of two months. Shibuzzi, I was jamming Shibuzzi for two months straight. Really? Yeah.

I don't even know what Shibuzi is. That's another lapse. What Shibuzi is? First of all, Shibuzi is a man. Second of all, Shibuzi is a dog. He swept the Grammys last night. He swept him every single one. Every single Grammy.

Wow. Best new artist. Best new artist. Best new artist. Best new artist. Best country artist. Best pop artists. Wow.

Best rap artists. Incredible. Shabuzi. Shout out to a person that I'm finding out as a man and a dog. Beethoven Lifetime Achievement Award goes in Shibuzi. Beethoven finally got it. Something named after him. Well, one of them Grammy's good last night.

They were amazing. The performance, what was your favorite performance? Shabuzi. He swept not only the awards, but the performances. He did all the performances. Yeah. He's a dog. He is a true dog.

Well, I have no aptitude for sports in general. What would you want to know, Scott? You got an aptitude test to take? Yeah, do I, is there some sort of barrier for entry? Do I need to take a test? You got to take a test. Okay. Can you test me right now?

The dog test. All right. How many games did Michael Jordan and Chicago Bulls win, 1996, 97? 72. Wow. Who did I play for in the NFL? Well, I know you played for the Cowboys. And who else?

Buffalo. No. All right, I failed. I failed the test. Scott, what baseball team did you grow uproof? The L.A. Dodgers. The L.A. Dodgers. The L.A. Dodgers.

The L.A. Dodge was my own team, yeah. And who was the pitcher? The year you graduated high school. The year I graduated high school. And how far did they go to year you, you graduate? with high school. They won the World Series the year after, so I would imagine they didn't do very well the year before. Is that how it works? Actually, I was thinking of the year after that. I was aging you down. Turns out you are older.

But you look good, though. Thank you so much. Yes, I do remember being in a production of the musical Evita, and the entire crew was listening to Game 7, was it of the World Series backstage. And then the show Evita was interrupted by a roar of crew members clapping and cheering. And who was the close on that team? That guy who, he gives, you know, the crack of the bat. Well, you think of the Kurt Gibson. Is that the guy who did the Grand Slam?

Who was the closing pitch on that team? His name rhymes with his sexual act. Oral? Oral Hershey's. Yeah, there you got it. You got his guy as adult. Am I doing well on the test? That's question one.

All of that was question one. So I don't... That's question one. Okay. Give me question two. Question number two. How many games in a baseball season? See, now I feel like it's the most out of any sport, right?

So it's like 165, I'm going to guess. Close. Really? Was it? Demerit. 162. Oh, really? Okay, so I was really close.

One for two. Okay. But still, I get no points for being close. And by the way, how did I get a complete point? on that first question when I got so many of them wrong. I don't make the rules, Scott. Okay, all right. Scott, who is the Cincinnati baseball team?

Baseball team, I know. It's a color. I don't want to say it. Say it, Scott. It's a color. I don't, I don't, I mean, is it, is it based, is it like the former, uh, Washington team where it's based on a, a supposed, I shan't say. You shan't.

It's the reds, but... All right. But is it just like the color reds? Yep. Okay. They were literally known as the Cincinnati Red Stockings. Oh, okay. So like the Red Sox, but stockings.

Yes. Like those things that Santa puts coal into. Absolutely, Scott. What you will be getting a lot of, is see, the Grammys was last night. So in about nine months, you'll be getting a lot of coal in your stock. On Thanksgiving? Yes.

You get it early, Scott. You get the... Give me... Give me question three. You get a red sock full of triptophan. Just triptophan. The actual. Give me question three.

All right. You ready for it? Yeah, here we go. What is a baseball made of? Okay, this is question four, by the way. I know it's... You're one for three right now. It's supposedly got...

No, I got number three, right? Not in my book. Okay. It's got cork in the middle, right? All right. Then a bunch of string wrapped around. You got it. You got it, Scottie.

And then leather all over that. You got it. Yeah. How much, what does a football feel like with his throne to you? Like a sack full of communion wipers. You got it, Scott. Okay. Am I in?

You're a damn dog, Scott. Am I on the team? Did I make the team? You're on the team. What position do I get to play? Well, Mo's a quarterback. Okay. So you will, I put you at long snapper.

Well, long snap. There's a difference between short snappers and long snappers? Yes, Scott. See, all right. That was question number six. And you got to roll. Okay.

And that was the one you needed to get back. So I'm off the team now? Off the team. Guy you cut. Damn it. I need dogs. I guess I didn't want to be long snapper anyway. I feel like the blood must rush to those guys' heads.

You know, they're like sitting there with their head between their knees and then just waiting for a guy to go like, do the right emphasis on hut. What, Scott? They're dizzy. Like, here's a better way of doing it. let the person turn around and just toss it to the guy why does it have to go through the legs this is the weirdest part of football i actually so agree with it why do they have to do it that way because that's cool it's cool yeah i didn't realize that did shibuzi do stuff like that oh shabuzzi was great football player shout out shabuzzi man won 27 grimmies last night

uh scott yes who is a male man's worst enemy dogs dogs god Is that question seven? Yes. You're back on the deep. I don't know that I want to play. If you'll allow me just to turn around instead of putting my head between my legs. Nope, you got to look at you and that's just gently toss

to the quarterback. Name five breeds of dogs. Pit bull. Wrong. What? That wasn't one of them. That wasn't one of the ones you're thinking of? Not one of the five.

Snickerdoodle? That's a cookies guy. All right, look, I'm sorry I can't be on the team. Mo, I apologize. I'm not going to be able to snap it to you. Who's going to long snap it to me? Well, Mo, you won't be catching a long snap. That's for the punter.

Yeah, well, I'll all throw to whoever I want. If it's a long snapper out there, I'm going to throw to him. Well, those is against the rules. Longsnap is an in which we'll receive it. He has to catch it like he's down there to me. That's how he has to get it. Why does the punter ever catch the ball and instead of kicking it, throw a touchdown pass into the end zone?

That happens all the time. That's called a fake stunt. That happens all the time. I would do that every time. You know what, Scott? If it was still football season, I would come over to this house and watch football, which is explain the whole thing to me.

I would love that, actually. We should get together for the Super Bowl, Scott. We should. We should. I should have a party. I will be in town and you should have a party. I don't know why the quarterback doesn't do that too. Just instead of like, you know,

oh, they're handing it off to a runner. Just throw into the end zone for a touchdown. That's not that easy. He's trying to do. do that every time. Just throw these short passes and stuff. Just throw into the end zone every time. You got to march down the field.

If there was a quarterback who did that every time. That's going to be me. That's going to be moan. That's going to be moan on the buffalo. Coach. Yeah, we got to draw some place. I'm into that. All right, Coach Prime, Neon, Dion, Dian.

Dog catcher, can you stick around? I got the ghost. I got to get them out of it. No, no, I want you to stay because. Scott, I'm looking for dogs. I know you're looking for dogs, but our next guest might be a dog. Yeah, so we're going to take a break, but when we come back, we have the owner and proprietor of a children's footwear store. This sounds like a dog to me.

So you're going to want to stick around. Mo, you're going to want to stick around, I know. Oh, I'm in. And listeners, you're going to want to stick around. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang, Bang, Bang. We're here. Mo Welch, Dad Jokes on Hulu now and the paper coming up.

at some point in the indeterminate future. Yes. Do you think it's fall or do you think it's spring? I think it's 20, 25, that's all I know. It's in 2025. Yes, yes. So it could be New Year's Eve.

Maybe between the Grammys and the suit in Thanksgiving. Perhaps the Super Bowl and Thanksgiving. Super Bowl. I would put it after the Super Bowl if I were. Yeah, okay. Super, yeah, Super Bowl and Thanksgiving. Yeah, right after. And then also we have a neon Dion, Dion, of course, Coach Prime. I'm looking for dogs, guy.

Yeah, did you find any during the commercial break? Well, we got Mo. We got Colorado Mo, Buffalo Moes. That's the name of the team next year. Okay. So are you allowed to change the name of the team? I'm allowed to do with the one, Scott. I'm a dog.

Okay, so non-dogs are not allowed to do this. Non-dogs can't change no names. So what about cats? Hell no. What if a cat wanted to join your team? Can't do it. I need dogs. I know you need dogs, but would you take a cat?

Here's the truth about cats and dogs. Okay. As a movie. Janine Gravela, of course. Danine Gravolo. Gene Grafam-mo. Colorado Moe, Buffalo. Would you consider Mo changing your name to Janine Garofimo?

I love it. I think it's going to help my career. Maybe I won't have to pay for my next docu, Eschel. Well, we have to get to our next guest. This is interesting. He's also joining the exclusive One Timers Club. He is the owner. As far as I know, he's the owner and proprietor of a children's footwear store.

Please welcome to the show Juvenile Booterie. Hey, how are you doing? Hi. Hey, what's up, pal. Good. This is Mo. Hey, how you? How you?

Hey, how you doing? And of course, neon Dion over here. All right, now, you look good. Yeah. The store's not mine, actually. It's my mom's store. Oh, okay. So you don't own the store.

But you are the proprietor? I'm currently managing, yeah. I'm currently managing the store. How many hours a week? Oh, man, it's about, we open at 10, we close at four. Those are short hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a, yeah.

I mean, kids get up at like, Mo, you have a kid. When is your kid? Yeah, it's a 6.30 a. Why don't you open at 6.30? You know, honestly, it's my mom's thing. It's my mom's thing. I can see a kid like waking up going like, ah, I don't have any shoes.

Need to be there by seven. Open by seven. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's kind of my mom's, it's kind of my mom's thing. Like my mom, my mom started it. But it's like, I've got other stuff going on that she doesn't kind of get or know about. And so I'm doing that stuff. I do, I do the sore when I can.

Okay. Well, you're here to talk about the store, or are you here to talk about the other stuff? I mean, I'll always talk about the other stuff because I'm, yeah. First of all, let's get the store out of the way. What is the store called? The store is called juvenile bootery. Wait, but your name is juvenile bootery. My professional name is also juvenile bootery.

Okay, but this is not your real name. My real name is James, Armandrout. Armintrout? Yeah. Sort of like Ermintrout, the character on Better Call Saul? Sure. Yeah, I don't have, I don't really do TV stuff. And also like this town, Armand, what was the...

Armington. Armington. Yeah, yeah. So, a kind of a portmanteau of Armington and Ermintrout. Yeah, yeah, so your name is, what was it again? My name is James. James. Okay.

So now... My mom's store is juvenile bootery, but also my professional name's juvenile bootery because... Your professional name in running the store, juvenile bootery? I also do music. I also do rap. Oh. Hip hop and rap. Oh, hip-hop and rap.

Yeah. But she had the name. She had the Instagram already, had a lot of followers. So I'm also taking that kind of over because it was just like, it was a business decision, honestly. Oh, okay. Wow. So I'm also doing rap, but like my focus is rap music and that stuff. Her focus is a store, but right now I'm just kind of like running the store for her.

Okay. And running the Instagram account? Running the Instagram account, yeah. How many followers does the account have? 3597. That's not a. ton, but well, for, yeah, it was pretty good for shoes. I mean, for a shoe store.

Yeah. I don't know that I would follow a shoes. Would you follow Mo a shoe store on Instagram? It depends on what they're giving me. Like, what kind of stuff are you posting? We got tall shoes for kids. We got short shoes for kids. Um, flat shoes for kids.

It's like, it's just not my focus, you know? I'm like, whatever. Just like get your kids some shoes. But like my focus is going to be on like, on music. Okay. So, so are you here to talk about the. store juvenile bootery or your rap career known as juvenile

bootery. I'm here to talk about well my mom said I have to just at least plug the store because we're having a sale we're having spring sale. It's coming up. How much are tall shoes for children? Just I'm in the market. Which kind of leather ones? Yeah. They're like $48. Okay. Do you have kids boxing boots?

That's basically what they look like. That's what's in right now for kids. Kids boxing boots. Yeah, they're like kids right now. wearing boots that look like boxing The kind that you lace up the... Yeah, they lace up tall, they shuffle around. That's what I picture when I hear tall shit.

I think like, you know, kind of up to the knee, like, you know. Up to the knee, up to mid-mid calf. Like Whitney Houston did the Queen of the Night video. Yes, thank you. Yeah, I was thinking more like healed. Ah, yeah. Oh, the shoes that make you tall. They make you taller.

Yeah, that's not specific. Are they shoes that make you taller or they're, The shoes themselves are very tall. We have shoes that make kids taller because a lot of kids want to be taller now. So we have shoes with lifts in them. I don't. So they're like high-heeled shoes for kids now? Yeah.

Kids wear high heels now. Yeah. My daughter mentioned wanting to be a little taller. So I might stop by. But I'm here. But I'm more, I'm more into like the music thing just because that's my thing. Speaking of my.

Yeah. So should we talk about your hip-hop career? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm open book. Okay. So, Dion, you're into the, the music style known as hip-hop and rap.

Absolutely, man. Yeah. You know, the Grammys was last night. Yeah. Shout out Shabuzi, man. Are you a fan of Shibuzi? No, I just, I mean, I'm just, like, into, like, the real rhymes and stuff, like, the really, like. You're into the rhyming aspect of rap.

Yeah, I'm into rhymes. I'm into, um, really, like, interesting. Let me give you word. Let me give you word. Boat. To, to rap about? To, no, to rhyme with. Boat.

Uh, all right. You're sitting right next to what, man. I want this cup. No, not the cup. Me. A goat. A guy? Oh.

Yeah, goat. Yeah, goat. I'll say goat. Okay. I mean, good. Good. Yeah. I mean, but I do more like written stuff.

I'm like not a freestiler. I do like more written like Kendrick stuff. Okay. So do you are you on here because do you want to perform some of this? Is that? I'm definitely down. I'll perform anytime, anywhere. If anybody asks me to perform, I'm definitely down.

Okay. Well, I might do that then. I might ask you to perform if that's something. you're interested in doing. Yeah, I would love that. I would love that. Because nobody's asking right now, but I'm like always asked. I'm always down to.

Seems like you came here wanting to talk about this, wanting to talk about your hip-hop career. Well, you wouldn't get back to me with, you wouldn't get back to me when I said the rap stuff. And then I, I sent the, the shoe stuff. And because you got a kid, I guess you had me on. Well, I was kind, to be honest, I was kind of interested in what style, you know, junior styles were, were coming up in the spring sale. And we got little ones. We got, they're all pretty little. Do you have kids chuckle boots?

Yeah, we got those. We got kid kid huggs. We got kid penny loafers. We got kid tappoes. Kid penny loafers? Like young Michael Jackson. Kid tap shoes too. And kid wing tips.

Wing tips. Kid wing tips like young Cab Calloway. We got kid spats for the wing tips. Was Cap Calloway wearing wing tips even when he was a young kid? Absolutely. Do you guys have baby cleats? Yeah, we got all sports shoes for kids. I just said.

The shoe thing is not. That's not my thing. Do you sell shoelaces? Yeah, we sell shoelaces. Okay, so these shoes come with shoes. Yeah, we have shorts. We have medium shorts and we have long shorts. So you're only up to the waist.

Yeah. Sox? Yeah, we got to sell some shots. We sell fitting socks and we sell some socks with the shoes, especially the tall boots, the boxing boots. Pants? No, we don't sell pants. Shorts are allowed? Oh, I thought you meant short socks.

Oh, oh. Oh, so only up to the knee then. Right. Okay, so no shorts. No shorts. No. Okay. But if, say, I wanted to come in, I was like, I'm looking for some shoes and some socks,

but also I need some shorts as well for my kid. I don't know, man. What would you do? Like, in that kind of hypothetical situation? If you want, what, short socks for your kid for his dog? No, I want socks. I want shorts and I want shoes altogether, but you don't sell shorts. What do you do?

I would be like, go next door, man. What's next door? 7-11. 7-11. 7-Eleven don't got pants. Believe me, I try. 7-Eleven should start selling pants. Absolutely.

They got nice hats in there. They sell hats and t-shirts. What, are they stop at the waist as well? CBS has underwear. I know. Wrong sizes, though. So you always have to size up or size down? You got size up.

So, okay. So I wanted to know about the shoes. You've satisfied my curiosity. let's go ahead and move on to the rap career. Oh, great. Okay, yeah, that's kind of my thing. Have you recorded any songs? Yeah, I've recorded over 600 songs. Damn.

601? 600 and like somewhere between 600 and 600 and 600 and 500 and five songs, some are demos, so I don't fully consider those like releases yet. Okay. So, but you can find me on Spotify. They're all on Spotify. They're all on Spotify. All 600 and one, two, three or four or five songs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So do you want to perform one of your songs? Yeah, definitely. What one do you want to hear? I don't know the titles to any of your songs. You can look on Spotify. I don't want to look on Spotify.

I want you to perform a song that you choose. Okay. All right, this one's, this is like probably my best track. Well, yeah, play that one. This one's called Don't Come Around Here. Well, everybody's coming in here tell me what us up. And I'm like, get the heck out. Because you don't even have these kind of shoes.

that you want for your kid. This one small, this one's short. This one's not even the kind you want. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bam. Oh, this is going to, this is not the type of place that you want to come in and get at my face. Okay. There's no Shibuzzi. I tell you that.

Well, look, if we're comparing anything to Shibuzzi, it's going to pale in that comparison. So we, we, that can't be a knock on this, that it's not Shibuzi. But, but let's, let's go into detail. Mo, are you a music fan? I think we found our long snapper. That's all I'll say. Long snapper's not a bad rap name. Yeah, I mean, I need a new name, but like that one was like kind of.

Well, can't we? Let's talk about it. I mean, first of all, it seemed to be about the shoe store. Yeah. Do you think that has a lot of crossover appeal? A lot of people come in here, they don't know. You say come in here. What do you mean?

Like in the shoe store. They know, I'm like, hey, Matt. Get out. I'm about to break a wrap off. I'm about to get a sign off. I'm about to get a rhyme in here. I'm about to get a time in here. Look, left, right.

Oh, Mom's spaghetti. It is coming up already. Bam! I got a rap name for you. What's that? Shishuzzi. Shishuzy. Not bad.

You can sort of piggyback off of Shibuzzi's popularity. I don't get. Well, you sell shoes. You sell shoes, though. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's just that, you know. You would probably have to continue working at the store or were you to take that. I got to work at the store because my mom says I have to work at the store.

How old are you? Me? Yeah. 19. Who do you think I'm talking to do what I say? How old are you? I thought you're talking to him. I'm 56.

You're 19. I'm 19. And you're still letting your mom tell you what to do. Yeah. I live there. You got to respect your mom's guy. Sure. But are you paying rent?

At the store? I live at the store. You live at the store? Yeah, I live in the back of the store. So why? Okay, for free? Yeah, because I'm, yeah. Because, well, there's, yeah, I live at the store for free because my mom says I can't live

at home anymore. But then sometimes they're like, hey, what the heck? There's guys breaking in. I got to bang, bang, bang, bang. But mo you down, mo you down. Don't come around here. I'm a clown. Mo, are you down?

I'm excited to go shop at the, the shoe store for shoes. Yeah. When do you not work? When do I not work? Yeah. What are the hours of, because it's 10 to 4. 10 to 4, but then I'm there all the time because my studio's in the back.

Right. Okay. Are there any other employees here? It's just me and my mom. Yeah. So could we come maybe when your mom is there running the place? Don't talk. Don't talk to my mom.

She's not the kind that wants to talk. She is the kind that wants to yell, yell, yell. What the hell? I like that one. I mean, it had the most rhymes out of anything you've done so far, but I will say that one of your signature moves seems to be a heavy sigh at the end of all of your songs. You got to have confidence, though.

I have more. It's just that you guys haven't provided any beats, so I don't really... We're not supposed to provide beats for our guests. I just... My flow is based on beats, and if you guys don't even provide beats, I'm just...

Okay, do you want us to try? try to do some sort of beat? Yeah. Okay. Any beat I can wrap over. Absolutely. Any beat I can wrap over. Any beat.

All right. Oh, look out. Here it comes up and down. Here it comes socks. All these socks are pretty tall. All these boots are very small. Child's boots. Child socks.

Everything is on sale. Look out. There's a guy with the mask. He's trying to get in back. I pulled out a gun, bowed him down, and that was fun. Mom. Okay, let me stop you for a second. You kill somebody now.

And it was fun? Yeah, I killed somebody to try breaking the shoe store. Why are somebody trying to break into the store? That's the thing, man. You only sell kids' shoes. Everybody tries to break in. It's in West Covina. You got to do no cash.

Yeah, although that's, you know, not good for the people in society who, you know, don't have credit cards. But still, it's an option for you. And where are they always trying to break through the back, too? In the mall. That means they had to go through the service hallway. Are you at the East Lake, Eastland Mall and West Coven? But, yeah, back of the store, my room is in the back of the store. So that's where they always try to come in through the service hallway.

Because they, why? That still doesn't make sense. They want to go through your room? Well, they want to go because, well, I keep my door open to the hallway just so I can have some, you know, place to breathe in. Okay, so your door is open. That's why they're breaking it. Yeah, but people try to come through the back and I don't like it. So you've killed someone.

I've definitely killed someone who's tried to come into the back to the store. You can't just break into a house. But your door is open. But you just can't come in. But an open door implies that anyone can go in and out. Bang, bang, bang, pistols high. Bang, bang, bang, I'm on the spot. Don't try to come in here.

My bed is there. My shoes are there. My poster's there. My stuff is here. There's no cash in the register now. I took it to the bank. Because that's what I do. Oh, fuck.

The cops are here. The cops are clearly not on my side. Back the blue, not me. Bam, bye, bang. Are you shooting cops? He shut the cops, though? You gave me shoot the cops. Bay, they, they, they can be shooting cops, man.

I'll shoot cops if I fucking want. I'm a guy, I'm a guy that you can't be stopped. I'm from, I'm from the street. I'm from the, I'm from the, I'm from the, I'm from the, I'm from the shoe store. I'm from the store. But at the store, we sell the shoes for the street. The street will get up on the speed. I don't respect cops.

Cops don't respect me. When they start to respect me, then I'll bend the knee. So that's why you better chalk this guy out. Because that body is laid out. Bang, bang. That was like more of a stab in motion. The listener couldn't see it, but yeah, you were sort of either jabbing at someone with your gun or... But gun got out of, gun ran out of bullets.

I have to think fast. stab with a gun if I have to last in this life of wild crime oh what a time drop the beat drop it hard everybody is looking around it's Scotland Yard

don't bring Scotland Yard into this I don't like any kinds of cops British ones or American ones How do you feel about Sherlock Holmes Was he a cop? Well he's a private investigator Oh yeah

Private eyes of I'm all right But You're okay with us Elementary, my dear dog. You know, this raises a good question. Why don't they sharpen the ends of guns so you can stab people with it when you run out of bullets? They used to do that. Did they really?

Yeah, back in the day. Well, the bayonets obviously had knives on them. But does that affect the aim, by the way? Like, a knife is so heavy. It's like you've got to raise your gun up a little higher in order to shoot something. And the bullet comes out like a rainbow. I don't know, juvenile bootery. What was your name again?

Juvenile bootery. But what was your name? her real name? James. James. James. Yeah. Shabutsi. James Arm, what? Armand trout. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, weirder things have happened, you know?

What do you mean? You're getting famous? Oh, I'm not down to get famous, Scott. I just want to put out my art and put out. Well, you're doing that. Yeah. So you should be happy. It's not about fame. It's not about fame. Why aren't you happy? I'm happy. I'm so happy. You're frowning right down. I'm so happy. Like, it takes so many muscles to frown. Takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. Oh, what? Here's another thing

about your style. You say a really engaging first line, and then you can never rhyme with it. You just kind of say something like, oh, what? Or, huh? The hook is the first part of any good rap is the first line of any good rap

is what gets your hook. You can't even say your motto correctly. The first, the first line sets it up in the second line takes it down. Oh. Yeah. See, this is part of what I'm talking about. I don't know. I mean, but hey,

look, I wish you luck. Thank you. How much money does the store make? The store? Yeah. My mom's doing very well. The store right now makes anywhere between $150,000 and $200,000. Holy shit. Your mom sounds awesome. How much

is she spending? Like, what are the costs? The costs are very low. The shoes are very small. She signed a lease, like, several decades ago? She owns the mall. She owns them all. Oh, okay.

Why does she even then have the store? Shoes her passion. Shoes are her passion. Yeah. For children. Like rap is my passion. Feed the children. They need our help.

Wisdom, truth, and all of that. That is on the shell. Do you need help? But back. Why don't you get a partner, you know? Like how Matlabor has. Ryan Lewis? Oh, really? I had a part. It was Ryan Lewis.

No. Ryan Lewis was my first partner. And he moved on to McElmore? He worked at the shoe store. He moved on to the best. Maclemore. McElmore is the best. And I'm just trying to get to the McElmore level. I'm so sorry. I mean, you're a Shibuzi fan. I like Shibuzi. Yeah. What if Ryan Lewis and Shibuzzi started working again?

Wow. That'd be an unstoppable team. Two dogs. Two dogs. But maybe you should get some other partner or at least, you know, a hype man or something like that. Yeah, I'm completely open for that. Like someone to do your wraps for you while you just kind of like make pose. Can you make like a fun pose or anything like that?

Like that. Well, I mean, you're crossing your arms. How about this? That's sassy. You put your hands on your hips, stuck your butt out a little bit. Terry Mary Kate and Ashley. So little time. Hey, what the heck?

These two girls look the same. Maybe they are twins and maybe they have the same name. We got to, we keep mixing them up. We keep mixing them up. Which one is the other one? The other one is the sister. Okay, mister. At least we're out of the shoe store.

That's what I'm, the only one that wasn't in the shoe store. Maybe writing about these other subject matters. I'm just like I'm trying to cultivate more life experience so that I can put that into my stuff. But right now it's mostly shoe store based. I mean, you work at the shoe store, you live at the shoe store, you get robbed at the shoe store. Sometimes I don't get robbed. Sometimes I play a trick. I'll go around to the back of the mall.

And when those guys try to break in, I set a trap. I call the cops. The cops will show up and arrest them before. They even get in the back of the store. Bang! So you shot them the first time, but then the second time, you're going to trap something. And you didn't like the cops the last time. You were going to shoot them, but now you're working in tandem with them.

Sometimes the cops could be a help, especially if it's dark. Cut it out. Guys, get in here. I'm not a friggin' narc. This guy broke in. He wanted the stuff. I'm here to tell you that. Help me out.

I'm tough. This is what hip-hop is missing. is nuance about the police. Some of the guys, they're all right. Some of the guys are okay. One of the guys is a big jerk who never shows up when I call. And I'm like, hey, what's up?

What does this? Number mean, 911. Remember that. I called it and you didn't show up, so I got to take things into my hands. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Here the bullets drop. Here the gun stab.

Here, everybody is now dead. Oh. Everybody's in now? It's the worst thing that a police officer can do is not show up. Yeah, sometimes I call and they don't show up, so I have to take things into my own hands. Yeah. Well, what was your name again? Juvenile booty.

No, I know the juvenile booty. Jordan Armitrower. James Armantrout. It's confusing. Yeah, James Jordan Armentrout. I sometimes say my middle name too. Oh, were you named after the shoe? Michael Jordan.

The Michael, Juvenile Air Jordan. They make small ones. They make, yeah. It's a shame to spend that much money on a shoe and then they grow out of it. Yeah. Like three months. Yeah. That's how my mom makes so much money because you sell a kid a shoe one week and the kid's bigger than next week they come back in.

Yeah. No, like adult shoes, you buy one pair. You're good for life. Yeah. Your foot doesn't grow after that. It's a good business model, but so is wrap. Yeah. I don't think so.

Anyway, we're running out of time. Would it surprise you to hear your segment is over? We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Hey, Scott, where else is someone you like to go? You like to go to bookstores. I'll park? Sure.

Those kids are playing. Okay. Check. Yeah. Excuse me. You mentioned a plug-back and then maybe we can remix this, this, this, this, this, this, this. All right, said and done. That is Carl Farts on Scott in the Park by Brad Cook.

Fantastic. Thank you, Brad. Hey, if you have the plugs theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs, and you can find everything you need there. You can find stems from our closing up the plug bags for your remixes. You can find everything you need and you can upload your songs. And Brad Cook, you are famous this week. Congratulations. What do we plug in?

Mo, obviously, Dad Jokes is on Hulu now. Say more than a M. Yeah. Yeah, it's out there on Hulu. Also, I'd like to plug Coach Prime, Amazon documentary. Oh, really? Is there a documentary about you, dog? Oh, yeah, don't.

I got a lot of them out there. You do, really? I got a few of them. Name them all this guy. This is the first one I've heard about. But that's fascinating. So people can watch dad jokes and then just let it auto play into Coach Prime. Into Amazon, yeah.

Awesome. I love that. And speaking of whom, Coach Prime, what are you plugging? Well, that documentary. Okay. You got to see me coaching the boys. Okay. And then also watch the Atlanta Falcons 1991 documentary.

Okay, good. Did you play for the Falcons? I did. Okay, so you went from Dallas to the Falcons? No, I got drafted to the Falcons. Oh, okay, congratulations. Then I went to Dallas Cowboys. You know, San Francisco 49.

People don't like to be drafted when it's the Army, but suddenly they like it when it's the NFL? I didn't like it either time. It's Atlanta, Illinois, by the way. Atlanta, Illinois, yeah. Oh, okay, the Atlanta, Illinois Falcons. Minor League team. Anything else you want to plug? Yeah, I'd like, you know, I've been getting into these podcasts.

I want to plug one that I like that. Like, okay. There's one called The Flagram Ones. Oh, yeah, I've heard about this. That's hosted by the guy that just farted on you in the park. Right. And two other guys, Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. Oh, yeah.

Did they ever drop the actor? I still don't know. Okay. But you can find that on Hollywood Handbook. Oh, I think. I think it's the Flagrown. com slash the Flakry. They don't change it up.

They changed it? Okay. I believe it's Hollywood Handbook now. But look up Hollywood Handbook and sign up for the Patreon. People can find whatever you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? All right.

And what was your name again? Jordan. Juvenile bootery. Juvenile booty. What do you want to plug? Jake? Jake? Oh, I'm James Jordan, but I go by Jake.

Yeah, I'll also plug some podcasts. There's a good podcast. It's about screenwriting. And it's kind of making fun of all that stuff. And that's called Get It to Dutch. and you can find that wherever you get a podcast. Okay. But it's like making fun of Hollywood stuff because, you know, it's easy to make fun of.

Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah. Or you could. Okay. I, no. I still have to plug. All right. I want to plug, look, head over to CBB World.

We talked about it. We have some great shows over there. We have CBB Presents. We just put out a Music Man watch-along podcast with myself and a couple of guys watching and trying to settle this. whole Music Man debate. That came out recently. We have Hey Randy.

We have entrepeenures, entrepreneur tour. We haven't done in one of those in a while. We'd love to do another one. Oh, no. Hard when one of the people who does it is no longer ever in in Los Angeles. And either of them. Yeah, that's true. But so many great shows over there.

Head over there. And if you subscribe for a full year, you can get two of those months for free. Two months of my choosing, of your choosing. And, yeah, that's probably it. Why don't we close up the old plug bag? Okay, that was grab a piece of plug bag by Evacer. Fantastic.

Thank you so much to Evacer. And speaking, thanks. Thank you, everyone, for being on the show. Mo, welcome to the one-time. Oh, thank you. I'm honored. I'm honored. And this is not a slam.

I hope you never return because we found that if people's careers get better, they never come back. Oh, okay. So I hope that your office spinoff is so big that when you get another request, you'd say, why would I ever do that again? Okay, I will. Good luck to you. No matter what. And also juvenile bootery, aka James, aka Jordan, aka Jake, good luck to you. Thank you, Scott.

It sounds like you're going into another thing. I'm going to cut you off. I'm going to say thank you over here to Coach Prime. It's got you look good. Oh, thank you. Juvenile booty, you look good. Mo, you look good. Yeah.

I see you all in practice. Okay. How many hours a week do we have to practice? Let's see. Three hours, five times a week, 15 hours a week. 15, I don't know that I can finish this out of my schedule. Is that right? Three hours.

Do you play a full game? Why is it three hours? Couldn't we cut this down to like 20 minutes? No, we got to go of everything. You didn't even know. We have to go. over how many games the Chicago Bulls won? You ask if the longs never can turn around and throw it.

All right. Well, let's leave with another wrap by Juvenile Booterry. Here we go. Well, this is the end of the very, of the podcast. Podcast, do you got to ask? Whoa, no. The end is of the show. Check it out.

At the door, cops are here. I got to go. Don't kill the cops, please. All right. We'll see you next. Thanks. Bye. M.

M. Yeah. B'amma, my, my.