Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Skids+ (Adam Scott, Dan Gregor, Doug Mand)

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

Once again, the stars are back as Scott is joined by TV star and podcaster, Adam Scott. Adam clears the air with Scott on a previous CBB scheduling issue and discusses his rituals on the set of “Severance” and his thoughts on “Survivor”. Then, heir to the Public Broadcasting Service empire, Bob PBS joins to announce his new streaming service. Finally, concerned citizen Jim Del Monte joins to voice his issues on the current state of dance cam etiquette. Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb

If I'ma-bondy bang, bang, comedy bang, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang. If I could save time in a bottle, my roommate Gary would probably drink it without asking me. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Hmm, interesting. Thanks to J-Man the Great for that catchphrase submission. Catch-Fraight Super Star, J-Man the Great, and welcome to Comedy Bang-Bang for another week. We, I believe, we are at the end of the throws of Oggy-Doggy here last week of Oggy-Doggy.

And my name is Scott Ackerman. We have a great one today. Coming up a little later, we have a Concerned Citizen. We also have an air, spelled H-E-I-R. So that is very, this is an incredible show. But I've set up before, and I'll say it again, stars are back on Comedy Bang Bang. Boy, it was really tough during both COVID and the strike.

No one would come on the show, but now stars are back. Of course, we love our movie stars. Those are number one. Underneath them, we have TV stars. Underneath that, we have a comedian with a special. Underneath that author, then we'll take a podcaster. And our next guest has straddled at least four of those five. Among other things.

Other things you've straddled? Yeah. He is, I think, a bona fide movie star. You don't do a little film called Madame Webb without... That sealed it, I think. I think you're right. That, that, uh... I hadn't really put that one together, but yeah.

I think you'll be getting those hands in front of the Chinese theater, don't you think? But instead of hands, just like spider claws. Okay, I'm worried that you did that whole movie thinking Spider-Man has claws. Doesn't he the clawed, caped crusader? Isn't that... No, he doesn't have a cape, he doesn't have claws. I think you're thinking of a cross between Batman and Wolverine. Hmm.

But now you were not a superpowered character. You were Uncle Ben. That was the big reveal. That's right. You're canonically in the MCU Uncle Ben. I guess so, but I don't think it ended up. That was what it was. Yes.

You were all tricked into being in this movie thinking it was the MCU. And then you got there on set one day and they were like, oh, by the way, no, this is just Sony. No, no. When I saw it, they had taken out. there wasn't any reference to Uncle Ben or anything. So you never said like, I don't, did you see it? Hey, has anyone seen my nephew around here? Right.

Well, the end of the movie. I've seen it, yes, of course. Okay, so the end of the movie is Spider-Man being born, right? Yeah, I believe that we, there's a long birth scene where you see the vagina and comes out of it. And it's about like 35 minutes tacked on during the credits. But they don't say, they don't go, hey, it's Peter Parker or anything. Right? So none of it's clear is what I'm saying. But your name is Parker in it. Is it not? Or do they just call you Ben the whole thing? I don't remember. I don't know. I have no idea. How many times have you seen this film? I saw the film once. The musical? Should I have seen it more? But I saw Spider-Man turn off the dark. Oh, yes, of course. See, I get the two mixed up. Of course. That's the musical, of course, that you saw many, many times on Broadway.

Many times. And you were there every single time a Spider-Man died. Isn't that right? Every single time, which, how many times did a Spider-Man pass on? I think it got up to 38, and then they were like, we got to cancel this show. It's a lot. It's a high-body count. Yeah, yeah. I saw Spider-Man turn off the dark half of once, but boy, it was fantastic.

That half, which half did you see? Did you see the first act or act two, or did you come for the last half of Act 1 and the first half of Act 2? I saw the second half of Act 1, the third half. quarter of act two. Okay. And then I love coming in Act 3. I like seeing the first 8th and the

seventh eighth. Oh, that is brilliant. So it equaled out just doing the math here to half of once. Half of once. Yeah, it was great. An incredible show and a privilege to be there within the Marvel universe playing the

canonically dead uncle. But also, I was in the MCU playing audience member and Spider-Man turn off the dark. That's right, yes. He also was in such films as Tork. Piranha Three Dimensions. What else you got?

Oh, the Aviator, Martin Scorsese. How great would it have been if it was called Piranha Three Dimensions? Three dimensions. And he, so, that's movies he also was a podcaster yeah listen it's nothing to uh nothing to nothing to sneeze at sneeze at if you're going around sneezing at things if you sneeze on me and sneeze all over my podcasts i'm gonna fucking kick your ass uh i heard uh you were on amy polar show the other day uh which was inexplicably voted uh by time magazine as one of the top 100

podcasts of all time even though she's been doing for about three episodes did you get jealous when I popped up on Amy's podcast. I did, and I was like, you know, I've been chasing you for a while. Now, now, canonically within the comedy bang bang universe, you were supposed to be on the week severance season two came on. That's right. And I'll introduce you in a second. Yeah, Zach Cherry and you were going to be here.

We have, we could go to our text if you want, the text of us being like, this is fine, right? We can, it's just a little smoke. Basically what happened was the L.A. fires broke out. the day before you were supposed to do the show. And we were like, oh, this is fine. This is fine. And then the morning of Zach backed out and said,

hey, I can't do that show anymore. I'm getting the fuck out of California. Yeah, I'm leaving. And then I texted you and said, hey, Zach backed out. Do you still want to do it? And you just wrote back, oh, no, I totally forgot I was even going to do that.

I did? Yes. And then I wrote to Zach. I said, Adam forgot he was doing it. And Adam goes, no, he told me he was backing out. That's why I backed out. What is the real story? Is that really what happened?

That is really what happened. This has all been discussed on Scott hasn't seen when Zach was on recently. Oh, really? Yes. I want to hold your feet to the fire on this. Sure. You can't just say like, oh, I forgot. And then meanwhile, you're doing, you know, side channels, back channels with Zach Cherry.

Yeah. Let me kind of untangle my web of lies here. You're a damn web. Clearly. My damn web. I do know that by the time we, were discussing it, it was the fires were

kicking into gear. Yeah, high gear. And my in-laws lost their house. That's right, yes. So I was in the probably in the midst of that and not doing anything. I think they didn't. If I can review the timeline a little bit, I believe

your in-laws did not lose their house until two hours after our recording would have ended. Oh, wait. Let me check my timeline here. Okay, wait. 3.5 a.m. So, 4. Oh, my God, you're right.

Yeah, I think you just... I'm just... You just caught me. I caught you in a lie, didn't... And why would you lie to a good friend? Well, here's the thing, is that I didn't want Zach to do your show. This makes more sense. Didn't want him to do your show.

I know. Yeah, I was worried about it, too. But then he was like, oh, I'm going to come with Adam. And I checked with you. I was like, Adam, is that coming with you? And you were like, I guess. Yeah. But wait, you're saying that Zach did a... a different show of yours?

He did a different one. But I have prevented him from doing this show. Yes, he's never, and it's his dream to do this show, and he still has never done this. I don't want Zach to achieve any of his dreams. I hope he doesn't. I really, I truly do. Thank you. So it's two of us now.

Yeah. We're a unified front against Zach Cherry. So you are a podcast. By the way, you were on Amy's show, and she brought up the fact that you had a podcast with me. Uh-huh. and almost in a derisive way. Really? Wasn't it?

I don't think so. She said, remember when you had that podcast about you two with Scott Ockerman? Almost in a making fun of you way. What's that? What's all that about it? I don't think that's the way she was bringing it up at all. All right. Well, still,

kudos to her for having one of Times top 100 podcasts of all time. Absolutely. So he's a podcaster. He's a movie star, but most importantly, he's he's also a comedian with a special you had uh you've had two hour specials two what two two two hours specials i'm sorry that's right so i i have when i do a special it's two solid hours not including credits not including credits just two hours of talking about half hour yeah or so and it's only half comedy yeah well the other part of it is you do your first hour then you just repeat the jokes

i repeat the jokes but dramatically yeah and then all the credits that roll at the end, I say them out loud. Right. Just to fill some time. Mm-hmm. Because I'm telling you, if it's a two-hour special, you get paid Bucco Delores. That's right. I think you get paid one and a half times one-and-a-half. What you get for a one-hour

special. It's like golden hour overtime. Exactly. So he's a movie star, TV star, comedian with a special. He's also a podcaster. Not an author yet, but you're working on something you were telling me. I am. I am. I'm working on a tome. of sorts.

I'm going to leave it at that. Well done. Well done. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Is this historical fiction?

What genre? If possible at some point, I would love for you to read the galleys. Is that something I'm interested? Do you want me to write an introduction or perhaps a blurb? No. Okay. Yeah. Why do you want me to read the galleys?

Never mind. I'll read. I mean, I'm available. I'm fine. I'm good. I'm tech avail. Okay. Great.

It would be great if you'd just take a look at it. I'd love to read the guys. You did blurb the Comedy Bang Bang Book. Oh, I sure did. Which was quite a thrill for the fans. Oh, yeah. But most importantly right now, he is a TV star. A full-on TV star.

Thank you. Who is nominated for one of those golden guys or girls. One of those big boys or girls. Mm-hmm. Holding the big, what is that? Like a globe? or what they have wings in their way what are they supposed to be you have some sitting upstairs in your house no they're right there they are really oh shit there they are but uh i think that's

what are they supposed to be i think that's a woman isn't it sure i mean those big natties sort of suggest it but you're vying for a couple right uh here in just a couple of weeks the a little show called the Emmy Awards, the Primetime Emmy Awards, is coming up. People are voting for it right now. He is nominated for a couple of, you got a couple of noms,

and the show, Severance, is nominated for a record-breaking 27 nominations. Is that a record? I just said record-breaking, realized that it could. I don't know,

but it's, let's just say it. It's more than 26. It's not as much as 28. It's just right. It is just right there in the sweet spot. That's right. Please welcome back to the show, Adam Scott.

Hey, Scott. How are you, man? Great. Great to have you. Thanks. Now, Severance, people are voting for it right now. The nominations have already been announced. You're nominated for Best Lead Actor, Best Lead Actor?

Or just Most Lead Actor? Most lead actor. That's right. Um, and, uh, you also, you're a producer on the show, Severance, right? So do you, do you get one of the awards if it, if it wins TV show? I believe that's how it works. I just didn't know whether executive producer or producer, executive producer. What are your duties? Did you just say, just call me duty? What, what, what, what are your responsibilities? Well, on the show in terms of executive producing. Because I know you show up and you act. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do, uh, acting work on the show. Um, what, what, what, what, what, what are your responsibilities. Well, on the show. Well, well, on the show. I do, uh, I do, uh, uh, I do, uh, But also, we work in New York. That's where we shoot the show. Oh, okay. So I don't know if you know in New York City, if you're working, say you're working maintenance at a tennis court.

Sure. Let's say you're working an office job on Wall Street. Sure. Oh, my gosh. Financial district. Oh, my God. That would be the dream. Bull and the bear.

Mm-hmm. Right? Yep. Say you're working there, just an office job. Or you're one of the big boys. you're one of the titans of industry. Maybe you're working in a Broadway theater. Sure, why not?

Maybe you're a plumber. Maybe you're a plumber. Just scraping shit out of toilets. In a theater on the Great White Way. That's right. Just like cleaning toilets for Andrew Lloyd Weber when he just destroys one. That's right. Which happens all the time.

No matter what your job is, if you're in New York City, there's always a little cleanup to do. So I come in in the morning before everyone gets there, like three, four a.m. Now, this is the city that never sleeps, but that's a misnomer because New York has actually shut down between 2.30 and 3.30. Yeah, everything shuts down. They turn the power off.

Right. So once 3 o'clock hits, I'm able, my alarm goes off because I set my alarm for the moment the power comes back on. Oh, okay. So I'm up at 3. You're up at 3. And I zoom right over as fast as I can to where we shoot the show. Okay.

And I just start sweeping up. I start vacuuming. So you do a sweep and a vacuum? I do a sweep and then a vacuum. And then sweep again. Boy, you're really thorough. You got to, it's got to be clean. Right.

Because you don't want a dusty set for Zach Cherry. Zach Cherry comes in. He's like, he rubs his finger along my face. So he's white gloving your face? My face. Wow. And I'm like, bro, I just cleaned every surface in this place. including my face.

Wow. And if it's not spick and span, you know, you're in deep shit. Yeah, yeah. So you do that every day you shoot. Every day. Well, and that's one of my responsibilities. I mean, that deserves an Emmy right there. Thank you.

Yeah, that's incredible. I had no idea. And then I start acting. Oh, okay. And when do you stop acting? Well, that's for me to know and for you to find out, Scott. Because I, by the way, Adam, I have famously never watched your show. Yeah.

I was wondering if you'd seen it by now. I haven't seen you in like a year. I am here to announce. Yeah. Last night, I watched two episodes. You did? That's right. Now, which two episodes?

I watched the first and the last. Okay. Perfect. Because for the Emmys, you're not allowed to vote for someone. You're finally up for lead actor. You're not allowed to vote for a show or an actor if you haven't seen the show. That's right. So I went ahead and I watched two episodes.

episodes last night, and I'm here to tell you, I am not voting for you. Well, that actually makes me feel good. You know why? Because I want you to make an informed, educated vote. That's right. And I wish you were voting for me. Sure. I do. I'm going to be honest about that. As a friend, I wish I was voting for you. Right. But unfortunately, I'm not voting as a friend. Like, best friend, I would vote for you every single time. Absolutely. But we're not, that's not the game we're playing. No, no, no, no. That's not what you're voting for. No, I'm voting for acting skills.

And I respect that. Thank you so much. It saddens me, I'm just going to be honest. Sure. It saddens me as a friend, but also it saddens me that you watch the show and you think that I'm coming up short. You know what? I just feel like you could give. You're giving 100%.

I wish you would give 110%. I get that. Yeah, I 100% get that. Again. I wish you 110% got that. Okay, let's say I 115% get that, that I'm not giving over 100% in my work, or as far as your perception goes. And I'm going to say, again, that hurts my feelings. I expected it would.

Of course, because we're friends. But you know what? Also, transparency and honesty is what Comedy Bang Bang is all about. I know it is. And I just felt like I had to tell you. Every time I come and sit down in this chair and feel my buns up against this fact. By the way, the sun is out, and your buns are out. You know that famous phrase.

Sun is out. Sun is out, buns out? Sun is out, buns are out. Yeah, that's on the T-shirt you're wearing. Exactly, yes. So I appreciate the honesty, I guess, is what I'm saying. No problem, no problem. But I, you know what?

I got to say, I'd been, I didn't want to watch a show because Apple TV Plus, you know, we've talked about it. It's so expensive. And it can run you anywhere from, you know, some people, some people were like early adopters and they got in there and they're like, oh, I'm only paying $100 a month. But it can run you between like $250, like up to $1,000. Sometimes some people are paying $5,000 a month for Apple TV Plus. For Apple TV Plus? Yeah, it's the most expensive streaming service that's out there. It's like $9.10.

I don't think so. But also if you like buy a phone, you get it free for a year. Yeah. Isn't that how it, I think so, but what I'm supposed to, I'm supposed to buy a new phone to watch your show. Like, this is just too complicated. Can I just turn on the tube, the boob tube? Who do you send? And my friend Adams there on the TV there? Who do you write a check to when you're paying for your streaming services? I have a friend who comes by and hooks everything up and he tells me the prices. Oh, okay. You don't need anything. I want to meet this guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's at the door, I believe. He is. Yeah, let him in. Hey, yeah, come on in. Hi. Hey, what's going on?

What is your name, sir? Rochester? Rochester, okay. Not Rochester. Rochester. Rochester. So it's like Chester, but you're raw? Rochester.

Rochester. Rochester. Rochester. Rod Chester. Oh, Rod Chester. Hey, what's up? Mr. Chester. What's up, jerky?

Okay. Are you one of the jerky boys? Let me just get this straight. Are you one of the jerky boys? I'm one of the jerky boys, jerky. Oh, okay. Scott, sorry. Yeah, what's up?

This is an honor. This is Rod, Rochester. Where are you from, sir? Rochester. Okay, so your name is Rodchester, and you're from Rochester? Rochester. Okay, now you're just saying... Jerky?

All right. You're frustrated to talk to. Well, wait a second. He's gone? Okay, sorry, Scott. Did you say what you needed to say to him? I didn't have time to solve your streaming problem. In any case, I don't, you know, I didn't want to watch a show, but I, I turned it on last night, right as the sandman came and sprinkled his little sand all over my eyes and I was drifting off to sleep.

And I was like, no, belay that sandman. I want to watch the show. I appreciate that. I want to keep my eyes open. And I want to watch the show. And I tell you, I was captivated. Oh. Your character, whatever his name might be.

Yeah. And then all the other characters, whoever they were. Sure. And then that part where the first scene suddenly turned into me talking to my mom and having an argument with her. And then she turned into like a hairy ogre. And then that like morphed into. to like I could tell that you know she wasn't my mom anymore right and um but she represented my mom but you you know okay Scott I think you may have dozed off while watching what's this now

the show you may have fallen asleep I think my mom is not in your show as far as I know she's not in the show you must have just been dreaming this makes more sense okay because I've been sitting here going like, why isn't my mom nominated for all these Emmys? Right. Because she was great in your dreams. She was phenomenal. I mean, honestly, you were fine, but she was like tearing it up. But don't you think it would have come up if your mom was a cast member of the show I'm on? I guess so, although, you know, like, there's so much left on set between us. You're right. You know. In any case, this was a phenomenal show. I was really engaged and uh but not enough to uh throw a vote my way i guess that's all right you know what

there uh i still haven't voted there you could make a difference here and this is why you're on the show by the way you want to let everyone know that that uh uh television academy how does joe public how does joe the plumber will remember that guy oh do i remember him how does he vote for you for the emies well so what you're saying is essentially i'm here courting your vote not Not only my vote, but America's vote. The vote of Joe the Plummer. That's right. You know how the Dallas Cowboys are America's team?

Oh, yeah. I like to view you as America's actor. Oh, thanks. You know, one where, you know, you don't have to be from Hollywood. You don't have to be from Santa Cruz. Right. You don't have to be a candy boy in order to vote for Adam. This is what, like, something all peoples and all states can come together and decide, like, this is our actor.

This is who we stand behind. It's America coming together and vote. voting for their actor. That's right. So how do they vote for you? Can you, and this is part of the reason you're here is to court these votes. How does just the dumbest asshole listening to this show, how do they vote for you? Honestly, I'm not sure how they go about voting for the Emmys.

Is this like a People's Choice Award? Maybe it is. Maybe there's like a toll-free number. Yeah, that's like Dancing with the Stars. Is that what it is? Would you ever do Dancing with the Stars? 100%. I've been asking them to have me for years.

Right. What star do you want to dance with? Ooh, that is such a good question. That is such a good question. Oh, Morgan Fairchild. Oh, I thought you were going to say Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman. Can you imagine the two of them together?

Can you imagine me and Morgan Freeman doing ballroom dancing together? Oh, my God. That would be amazing. I would love to do that. And then Morgan Freeman taps you on the shoulder and says, may I cut in? Why certainly? sir that would be the first like tap on the shoulder cut in in dancing with the star's history oh yeah it would be would you do uh the mass singer oh yeah yeah you're asking me just a bunch of questions that

i've already answered yeah yeah i would do them all yeah would you love to what about a you're a big survivor fan would you do survivor if they had celebrity version you and ray romano out on an island together why ray oh adam why did that pop i don't know i feel like one of the the reasons... Oh, light the fire! Can I finish my thought? I apologize. I feel like one of the reasons Survivor is still cool is that they don't do stuff like that,

don't you think? Like celebrity version? I agree that Survivor's very cool. And liking it is even cooler. I do like when you pop up on the after show sometimes. They don't do the after shows anymore. I know. With budgetary cuts.

I was there once. It was great. I do like it. And then Jeff Probst pretends not to know you. I know. He was doing the whole thing. And I was like in the corner of the screens. It was in the Ed Sullivan Theater, as a matter of fact.

That's right. That's right. Yeah. But now they do it. Soon to be shuttered. Now they do it all there, all at, on site. Would you go to Fiji to be in the, to go participate in the after show? Just like, suddenly the survivors, they all crown their winner.

And they're like, oh, here's pizza and champagne. And by the way, Adams here. It just cuts to you. I would go to Fiji. 100% to do to do it for any reason really yeah do you want to go vacation there yeah let's go okay bye oh oh no we're going I think we still have approximately one hour left on this show oh okay and then we'll then we'll go make the reservations while we're doing this I'm already done in any case I'm still open to voting for you I just need something to make it worth my

why I'm going to spend my the rest of my time here on earth on earth making sure that you cast that vote for me. Fantastic. Now, when is this show coming back? Because I believe season one came out in 2022. Season two came out around when the fires hit earlier in the year, 2025. Is season three, 2028? What's going on?

It's not going to take quite as long. So 2027? Well, we're, you know, getting everything going. Have you even started? Yeah, for sure. Well, like, what's happening right? They're writing. Writing what?

Like, oh, I hope. Dear Diary. I hope I can come up with more ideas for this show. It'll be sooner than, it's not going to take as long this time. Okay, but you haven't started filming it. No, not filming, no. But you filmed yourself at home a little bit, right? Oh, I filmed myself at home talking about filming.

So, okay, that's something. And they're going to edit this in and intersperse some of the... This is going to be on the show. Oh, this is right here. Yeah, I'm filming this. Do you think I'll be nominated next year? Probably. Okay.

It would be 28 nominations. Me and my mom. That's right. Well, Severance is out there right now, season one, season two. If you're like me, you can watch two episodes of it last night. Anytime you want. Anytime you want. That's the thing about streaming.

Like 2 p.m.? Great. Sure. 2.30 p.m.? Great. Why not? 245 p.m. Oh, sure.

I have an appointment. Oh, you can't do. Yeah. 3.15 p.m. It's supposed to take 25 minutes, but you know how these things can kind of run over. Is it, is the appointment at home? Is it a Zoom? It's a Zoom, but it's not at home.

I have to drive to someone's office. Okay. How about 3.45 p.m? I'm just worried that traffic at that hour is going to be a little bad. Okay. Could we push this to like, even, I mean, 415 would be comf. Uh-huh.

How about 430? I mean, I'm flexible. Is 430 okay? 430 is fine, but if you're watching more than one episode, that's going to run right into Suffer time. That's going to run into Early Bird at Denny's, yeah. But you know what? We can set up a projector and a movie screen at Denny's.

Oh, okay. And figure out a way to stream through the projector. Okay. Usually when I do that, the management gets a little upset with me. Yeah, I've called them. I've figured it out. You figure, oh, okay, great. Yeah, if you've cleared it, yeah, I'm definitely down.

We're all set. Do you want to say 430? 430. Streaming Severance, Episode 3? Yeah, I'll watch episode 3. Yeah, why not? How about 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10?

Yeah, we stream those at Denny's 430 p.m. Okay, great, yeah. I only have 16 more hours to go on this show. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Quite a time commitment. Sure is. You know what I mean?

Like, hey, my buddy has a show. Do you want to go watch 19 hours? That's right. You know what I mean? It's like, like, I, hey, my buddy's in Madame Webb. Yeah. I go and I spend an hour in 45 minutes. I'm like, oh, boy, I did my part.

Yeah. Next thing, you know, he comes up to me and he's like, hey, I have this TV show. Watch 19 hours of this. Yeah. yeah it is it's like it's like uh just it's sort of a sacrifice you make for your friends that's true how many episodes of my tv show did you watch there's 110 i watched a good amount of those oh yeah that's nice yeah you were in a good amount of them i was i was in i think like three or four of them you were in once per episode or per season you were our good luck charm you were yeah and you

were uh in the between two burns movie and you were in our michael bolton special i remember once I was a janitor in on comedy bang bang. And you fired a gun into the air. Well, Adam Scott, he needs your votes. He's out there canvassing the neighborhoods, trying to get Emmy voters to vote for him.

When I finish this, I'm just going door to door. Yeah, you're going to Topeka next, I believe, and just trying to get, just begging people to vote for him. He needs these M's. I'm going to hit every state in the, country. And just a real barnstormer. We need to take a break, if that's okay. We have a great show. Coming up, we have an air. We have a concerned citizen. This is a good show, Adam. Yeah, I love citizens that are concerned. Yeah. Okay. Well, we're going to come right back.

We'll be right back with more Adam Scott. More comedy bang bang. We'll be right back after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Adam Scott of Severance fame is here with us. 27 noms. When you say noms, sorry to jump in. When you say noms. Phenoms. Oh, okay, great. Thank you.

Yeah. 27 phenoms. Yep. Including the lead actor, the lead actress, the supporting actors, and a bunch of other shit. Director. Ben Stiller directs this show. Yes. And he always, he makes one Zoolander cameo per episode, which I thought was really interesting.

It's cool, right? It's generous of him to do that. He just does the blue steel right into the camera and walks off. You weren't expecting that when you watch it. I was not. I just was kind of like, oh, he'll be behind the camera. I view director as a behind the camera job primarily, but then I forgot about a little guy named Alfie Hitchcock. Oh, man.

Boy, did he like to step in front. The game. Oh, man. When it came to directors. So, yeah, for Ben Stiller to come out and do the blue steel once per episode. And one time he came out and he wasn't doing the blue steel, he was doing his Tropic Thunder character. I thought that was really weird.

Because I'd been accustomed to the blue steel, like I was used to it by at a certain point. Yeah. I mean, when you're the director and you're calling the shots, you can do whatever you want. That's the thing. It's like a little dictatorship where no one can argue with you legally. Yeah. No, you're protected by the law. And on a film set, you can do anything and everything you want.

That's right. Just ask a little guy named Harvey Weinstein. Oh, that's right. Jesus. Well, let's get to our next guest. What a wonderful lead-in to our next guest. He's an air. And this is exciting.

I wonder what he is the air, too. We'll discuss that at length, I'm certain. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Bob PBS. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Hey. Hi. So wonderful to meet you.

Yeah. This is Adam. Hi, Adam. Oh, so nice to meet you. I'm a big fan. Maybe we could sidebar and maybe get you on some of the programming I'm working on. When you say programming, now, I have a little note here. I was going to introduce you as Bob Pubs.

Nope. But it's actually PBS. PBS. What does that stand for? That's actually my family name. PBS. PBS for the family that founded the PBS Network. Oh, okay.

Oh, I see. This is the, it has downtown abbey. Yes. Which starts on a behind view of a dog where you can see its balls. That was something I spearheaded. I'm very proud of that. You should be. It's the thing everyone talks about it.

Thank you. It's really very exciting that they let us do that. My dad let us do that. I was trying to push the envelope with that a little. Did you ever think the Sesame Street should start with that with like Ernie's balls? Well, that's actually something we're pretty open to right now. We're a little desperate for funding right now. What's going on?

I heard that your funding was cut in half or something. I don't keep up with the news necessarily. It's been a little rough time for the PBS Corporation. I've been tasked for my father of running the PBS Kids branch of the company. That's a great one. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's like Gap Kids.

It's like Gap Kids, but just for cartoons. Right, right, right. We're teaching the kids how to learn all these things. We thought we were doing something really good. And we got smacked down pretty hard this week. We got really kicked in the old dog balls. Oh, wow. And basically, the government is no longer funding your program.

Yeah, the whole thing is collapsing. And we're running out of money pretty quick. How much money do you have, like, on hand? How much cash is on hand right now? Oh, God. Like $37. $37 until the whole network runs out of money. We are really up against it.

And so that's why I'm here. I'm really here. We're rethinking the whole thing. We're going to do a whole new. We're launching a new streaming service. Is this the right time to launch a new service? Oh, oh, we got to do it. We've got to do it.

We're taking out a lot of debt. We're taking out. I guess if you're like Apple TV Plus, like, if you get one person willing to pay like a million dollars a year for it, then it justifies like, we're, we're not, we're not looking for a million. We're looking for anything. You buy a hot dog, you will get a free subscription, okay, to PBS kids. Any hot dog. Any hot dog, we got deals everywhere. Pinks, we know.

We got a connection with them. But anywhere, really, anywhere you get a hot dog, that's part of the geek. Why don't you guys just have one of your telethons where you ask people for money and people call in? I used to watch these and you get a tote bag or you get like the record of Botticelli, or who am I thinking of? Who sings? Not Botticelli. Bacheli. And Botticelli.

Shelley, the painter. The painter. You can get like a record of him, like, describing his paintings. Yeah, that's great. Everyone has one of those. Yeah, sure. We'll do a telethon. We'd love, would you, would you, would you, would you be on the telethon?

Well, I'm not saying that. That's a yes. That sounds like a yes? I mean, it sounds like a soft yes to me. Very, you can consider it an incredibly soft. Just a limp, flaccid yes. Okay, like a yes that's just laying on the ground and barely has a heart. This is a big win for me.

Okay. Okay, we got Adam as a soft, limp, Yes. Scott? I mean... Scott? I used to have a TV show. Listen, Scott, I'll do it if you do it.

That's a lot of money coming in. Okay, okay. I can see our way to the future with something like that. Yeah, we're just looking to launch a new streaming service. What's the new streaming service? We're going to shorten the name. You know, you've got to shorten those names. Okay.

We're going to call it... Shorter than PBS? Shorter than P.S. We're going to call it S Kids Plus and... Hmm. It doesn't really roll off the... S kids plus. Why not just stick with PBS kids and then throw a plus on it?

People know what PBS is. I think I just really, I'm watching the market and I'm seeing how we're relaunching these services and we want to make it quick and snappy that make people excited to be a part of us again. So S Kids Plus. S Kids Plus, maybe you want to call it Skids. Skids Plus. That's cool, right? That's great.

I guess that's cool. Yeah, it's really cool. Okay. So thank you. And so, okay, so then we're going to launch the Skids Plus. And, okay, wait, did we just convince you two? No, no, no, talking gameplay. We're just talking gameplay.

Because it sounded like you were like up in the air about it until we said it was cool. I need approval because we're really, I mean, we just took it. We took it on the chin these last couple weeks. We, we, they really humiliated us. Not, not like someone jizzing on your face. When you say it took it on the chin. I'm so sorry. They don't, they don't.

They don't play around in this Trump administration. Okay, no, I'm sorry. They called me in. They were like, what will you do for your funding? And I said, anything, anything. And they were like, anything? And I was like, sure, yeah, anything. Oh, no.

And then they, then they opened up a hatch in the floor. And they, there was a trap door? There was a trapdoor in the White House. And they, I walked down a long circular staircase. And then, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Eric was not, Eric's not a good guy.

He's not a good guy. He's not like Don Jr. Yeah. Don was terrific guy. Don, done, great poster? Great guy. Don's a nice fella. I have to say nice things. Comparatively. Comparatively. No, Don's a nice fella. What did Eric do? Eric, oh, he, well, they'd asked if I could bring all the puppets from the Sesame Workshop.

You brought every single puppet? A big old truck of puppets. And they were like, relinquish them to me. They said, they said relinquish them to me? This is a quote, relinquish them to me? They said relinquish them to me. And so I had to relinquish my parental rights to these beloved puppets. You adopted the puppets? The puppets have spirits.

And so you have to treat them. Have you ever worked with a puppet? I've never worked with a single puppet. You have to treat them like they're real people. Oh. What happens if you don't? The children who watch can tell that there's no soul. And the soul of a puppet is what makes a child feel magic.

Okay. Okay. All right. This makes sense to me. It's true. But then you had to relinquish these puppets. Which is a horrible. And all your rights.

All my parental rights. All my parental rights to their spirit. Okay. And then Don, that's what, that's what Eric wanted. He wanted the puppets. He wanted the spirit of the puppets. Oh, so that's what they're after. Eric is after the puppet spirit.

So this is why they're cutting funding to PBS is he wanted all the puppets? They just had me over a barrel. They had me over a barrel. That's what they want. Literally or figuratively? oh no what happened it wasn't good what happened what it wasn't good who who did this to you did they have a barrel down there they have they have a they've got a they've got a big a big desk a no they've got a big they have a big they have a this this sounds like a nightmare just a room with a barrel and a big desk

oh my god and a bunch of puppets a circular staircase a circular staircase wait wait this is it's 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? The famous one, yeah. An address that changes all the rules. That's right. Oh, God. And so they have a, they have a giant basement. They have a resolute, they have a resolute desk.

A resolute desk. It's the real resolute desk. It's the one, it's a replica upstairs. It's a replica upstairs. Oh, my God. Because the real one is where the bad things happen. No. What do they do?

And so they, Eric gets inside Snuffleupagus. No. He gets inside him. And then. When you say that, what do you mean? Like inside the, costume or he inserts part of his body into him? It's, I, I, this is a terrible thing to say.

Okay. But yes, yes, he, he, uh, he gets in, well, you know, he wears snuffaloopagus. He wears, he wears, he wears snuffalo up against, and then he gets inside me. Oh, no. Oh, man. Yes. At that point, you were hoping he was imaginary. I, I, I could see him.

They changed it, by the way, where, we're, because they were, I know, we were, we were we were wrong, we were convincing children to not. tell people about sexual assault. Right. And that's wrong. We realize that now. But it was only for the first 30 years. 30, 45, 40 years.

The Catholic Church and us had a program together where we developed. This is a sci-op that you and the Catholic Church developed since the early century. We thought it was a good thing. We thought that we were convincing kids to trust priests. Mea culpa. In the parlance of the priests. That's Latin. Sure.

And the priests like Latin. So in any case, you're down there in the basement of the White House. In the basement of the White House. Hunched over the Resolute Desk. Trying to tell them about Skids, I'm sure. I'm trying to be like, guys, we will make whatever work. We will make whatever work to keep our funding. And they were like, this is what we need to keep our funding.

Oh, man. Wow. But I'm sure that's all that happened under there. Because there couldn't be anything else, could there? No, what happened? I got a call for my wife. oh no she's back at home okay where where's home by the way delaware and uh and she's and and i and they're making and then big bird shows up there to your wife's house big but that's actually that's actually baron trump

baron trump's inside big bird i've come to understand now he's tall he's tall so it fits he's a big bird he's he's at NYU now so it's not that far of it he has a little little train ride he came down took the Biden train as a spite train. No, the Assella. The Assella, the one that Biden loves. He loves that train. Just as a fuck you? Just as a fuck you?

He dresses his big bird taking the Ysala. No. And he's going down to my wife's house where I live with my wife. Where your wife sleeps? My wife sleeps there. I sleep there when I can. I'm pretty busy. Are you on the road?

I'm on the road a lot. A lot. It's a big gig. But you always sleep there. Even though you're on the road, you come back to sleep there. come back. I never leave my wife alone at night. Anyway, the face time comes up as I'm bent over on the resolute desk. And you accept a face time in the middle of this?

That's my wife. You got to ask. So just logistically, they bend you over the desk, not the barrel? The barrel, the barrel was a threatening object. I knew what it meant. And I knew that the possibility, it was the possibility of moving over to the barrel. You don't want to get near that thing. It's like running man.

Yeah, like you're watching. In what way? Is it safe? Is it safe? Is that the movie? No, I think you're thinking on Marathon Man, but... Those are different movies? Unfortunately.

Wow, those are the same names! They could have just wrapped those two up into one. I know. Don't you think? I know. Edgar's new movie... I got to talk to it. If he comes back on Comedy Bang Bang to promote this...

Could have just been the running marathon, man. Yeah, exactly. Is it safe? I always assume those are the same movies. They are quite different. Wow. Oh, okay. Anyway, so my wife, uh, face-time.

She FaceTime. She FaceTime, but it's, but it's, it's, uh, big bird. Yeah, sure. And, uh. So Big Bird, so you, you're in the middle of getting plowed by snuffalo up, I guess. Terrible. You face time, you expect your, with your trunk. With the trunk.

Oh, no, you didn't even mention that. You turn on your face time. You expect your wife's loving face there to give you some solace. Yeah. And instead, Big Bird is there. Big Bird's having his way with her. No. Oh, man.

Yeah. No. It was bad. It was really bad. Simultaneous. And we're watching each other both get this done to each other. It was pretty bad. It was pretty bad. Wow. So anyway, I thought we'd save the funding. Yeah, so after all that, you would think that they would...

You acquiesce to all of this behavior. All of it. But that's... You never give into a bully because they just learned they can take more. Oh, no. So they didn't write you a check there and then. no, they actually cut our funding. They cut it after that. When we finished, then they cut the funding.

Because they didn't respect you anymore. That's right. That's right. Yeah. This is terrible. It was really bad. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Thank you. And by the way, I believe you.

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. That's 100%. Yeah. I know how much you like Harvey Weinstein. And so I didn't know if you'd come on here and believe me. Because you, I know you're in the Harvey camp.

We don't talk about that on Mike. okay good anyway thank you in any case I'm so sorry about that so you're trying to get Skids Plus going in order to we're launching we're doing

and they're doing do you have any other plans to yeah they're dictating the programming right now they are we're going to do whatever they want wow um so we got and full control of the puppets they now have the puppet souls

the puppets are the puppet souls are under the spell of the Trump boys and yeah so if uh if they want to do the program the programming is uh we'll do whatever they want um and so so why would i then give money to you if the programming is going to be so bad please give money please no the program is going to be great the program is going to be great what is the programming going to be oh okay uh we got uh curious george okay um he's he's a curious little monkey the man with the yellow hat everyone loves him he's going to be working in the diamond mines um

He's the man with yellow hat's going to beat the foreman. And we're going to be talking a lot about how these new lab-grown diamonds are bullshit. And how those are not sentimentally valuable. And you really do need a monkey mine diamond to have any real value. Okay. This sounds different than the Curious George that I grew up with. A touch. Yeah, definitely.

Curious George is going to like working in these mines. Okay. He's going to be curious about the diamond industry. How much longer can I work here? I'm so curious. How much more can I give to the company? How much can I? How much capital can I provide for the company?

How much does this company need to fulfill its mission of getting De Beers Diamond onto every woman's finger in the world? Like I don't need much money as far as my salary goes, but I just want the company to flourish. The joy, yes, exactly, the joy of seeing a company succeed in this country. He's taking pride in that. And not feeling like your life was wasted because you worked for one company for several years. That's correct. The monkey lifespan is actually perfectly designed for the lifespan of a diamond mine.

Really? What is the lifespan of a monkey? I've never quite been able to figure that out. 40 years. 40 years. And then most minds will lose. Tap out. Tap out about 30 to 40 years.

Okay. And so it's actually pretty perfect that a monkey. So if you can get monkeys right when they're born. Right when they're born. And then never let them see the daylight? Because that the daylight is one of the things that convinces them they want freedom. Got it. Got it.

You like this, right? Yeah, no, this is great. I mean, I've seen your smiles. The little baby monkeys, those can be fun puppets. Yes, puppet spirits. Yes, puppets. And each season can be one year. And those 40-year series.

Yeah, it can be in real time. Yeah. And then you're growing up with the characters. Like my favorite show, Bill Maher. Yeah, in real time. Yeah. We're watching Bill Mark. We saw him as a little baby comedian.

Real time with Bill Maher is one of the only shows that is actually, you know, the Simpsons, they all stay the same age. We're watching Bill Maher get progressively older and older and more decrepit. It's a beautiful thing. Wow. It's beautiful. It's like boyhood. It's like Boyhood for idiots.

Have you ever wanted to watch Boyhood starring Bill Maher instead of Ethan Hawke? Oh, I love it. What about Elmo? What's going on with Elmo? okay um elmo uh he's obviously what he you know if you rearrange the letters in elmo it spells mole hmm loam too yeah mm-hmm also emloel elam yep elam must yeah oh mel oh mel what anne bancroft used to scream land in the throes of lovemaking loam Did we do loam yet?

I think loam was said. We can do it again. Yeah, let's do that one again. Loam. Lome. Yeah. I had him. Yeah.

And Bankroft screaming loam? Oh, loam! Loam! Yeah, no, Elmo's going to be, well, Elmo's, you've ever heard of a pink sock? I mean? Pink sock. That you can make a puppet out of, do you mean? No, when your asshole is turned outside your body?

Oh, the prolapsed anus. The prolapsed. Anus. Okay. So Elmo's going to what now? Elmo. Was that a different subject or? Elmo is, Elmo is a, will be the sex slave of sultans.

We're being sponsored by Dubai. And we're getting a lot of money from, from overseas. And so we're really excited to take any, any sort of sponsorship. And so there's a couple people that have a real furry fetid. and we're going to we absolutely have to cater to that okay um so elmo elmo is available for uh for any kind of you can rent elmo out essentially you can rent you can turn elmo out um okay yeah wow and that's okay you can turn him inside out you can turn him inside out and he will giggle his way through all of it wow so he's okay he is so cute he's so cute i'm looking forward to this actually yeah and he's red

which is great for the trump folks exactly yeah exactly he's gonna he's gonna he's gonna be part of their campaign maybe we're hoping okay this is incredible i mean this doesn't sound half bad honestly i i'm not subscribed to skis plus thank you i'm not only subscribed but i feel like you're asking us for a bit more money than that right a bit more than a subscription i look i i i mean i i can't i'm in this beautiful recording studio how much how much we'll get you back up on your feet okay scott i'm moment of truth i'm in your home i'm in i'm in the recording studio yeah i did look around while you were looking elsewhere, I see what you have.

Yeah. Okay, I come, I came. By the way, all my guests can take one thing from my house. Every time, any time we tape an episode, all my guests get to take one thing out of my house. I appreciate you saying that. I'm taking this safe. Oh, no, not my safe. The safe. You just said you can take anything out of my house. Can I empty the safe beforehand?

I'm holding it. I'm holding it and I will, whatever's inside. I'm trusting is valuable. Not my cougarands. That's, uh, those are the most valuable things. Not the deeds to all my properties. Yeah. Okay, well, I appreciate you telling me what's inside,

because now I will be able to auction it off. Cougarans are still very valuable. What are Cougarans? Uh, South African Dubloons. Yeah. Thank you so much for explaining what I was just about to explain, because I know what they are, just as well as you know. Obviously.

Yeah. That's where, that's where they hit all the money in, uh, when they were looting, uh, the country fantastic it's good stuff how did you get your hands on them sky oh you know just very shell games

and companies behind companies and you know I mean uh well enjoy the safe I mean you don't have the combination unfortunately

but um to uh Adam yeah do you know the combination yours good friend um hey

Adam yeah Scott, what's up? Don't tell him the combination, okay? I know you know it. I do know it. It's my favorite numbers. I know.

6969, 6969, 6969, 6969. 6969, 6969. But, and you... Sorry, three more. 6969. But then there is that time that I came over and we were drinking... Short logos.

Twisted tea. And we got super... fucking blazed. Yeah. And on top of the twisted teas. Yeah. So we were drunk and super stoned. Right. Yeah. Like high with marijuana. Yeah. That's one of my favorite memories. And we decided to alter the combination. Oh. I totally forgot about that. And we added eight more six nice. Oh, that's right. It's six. Six, nine, six nine, six nine, six nine. Six nine six nine six nine six nine. Six nine six nine six nine six nine. Six nine six nine. Six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine. Six nine six nine six nine. six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine yes right so you don't want me to tell yeah don't okay adam yeah hey what's up scott can't hear us uh uh i'm desperate i i'm i'm i'm getting that

i'm really desperate okay but is there anything you can tell me i'll guess it okay i'll guess if you give you a clue i'll give you a hint okay because i can't betray my friend okay okay okay What do you call it? When a mommy and a daddy. A mommy. Sorry. A mommy and a daddy. Sorry, I'm listening.

Oh, hey, Scott. Hey, what's up? I'm not telling him the competition. Okay, you're not giving him a hint. No, no, no, no. Thank you. Thank you for confirming a juicy hint. When a mommy and a dad.

Give me a J.H. Or just a, I'm just giving you a J.H here super quick. Okay. What do you call it when a mommy and a daddy, or two daddies or two mommy, you know, when you're in bed with someone and you're like, let's play it safe, I'll put my head at the end of the bed. You put your head on the pillow just so nothing happens. But let's, let's, let's, let's, this is how most of it started. This is how. Did they start as an accident?

This is how 69ing was invented. Oh shit, you just said. what fuck oh i'm so sorry what the fuck dude i'm so i've betrayed our friendship you betrayed our friendship god damn is it is it is it 21 69s in a row yes damn it yeah whoa no scott i'm so sorry that's okay that's okay oh all right how you uh go ahead thank you so much with the safe all my valuables oh this is great oh my god you're really gonna make a difference And I'm telling you, America's children will thank you for saving PBS. If it's for the children.

It's for the children. Then that's all right. It's great. It's really good. It's for Skids Plus. Well, gosh, Bob, I'm glad I was able to help out. This is great. Anyone who's listening, subscribe to Skits Plus.

Yep. And we need to take a break if that's okay. When we come back, we have a concerned citizen. So this is, I mean, this is a great show already. Yeah. A lot of civic-minded people. Yes, exactly. We're going to be right back.

We're going to have more Bob PBS. More Adam Scott. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang, bang, bang, we're back. Adam Scott of Severance fame. Hi. You got, who's in this Severance? You got Tuduro.

Zach Cherry, of course. The aforementioned. Yeah. There's nothing we can do about it. No, at this point, I mean, I guess in the writing right now, because from what I was told, I heard this somewhere. maybe Hollywood gossip, but the third season of Severance is being written right now. And like page one, episode one, what's Sacks character's name?

Dylan. Like Bob Dylan? He's playing Bob Dylan. He plays Bob Dylan in Severance? This is like a shallamee kind of sequel or something. You didn't catch that watching the first two Epps? I mean, I know when he was holding up the cards that had the lyrics. Right.

on it and he wasn't lip syncing. I was kind of like, oh, this is kind of reminding me. But you were thinking in excess probably. Yeah, exactly. In any case, you could just write like page one, fade in. Dylan chokes on a peanut. Kiels over, dies. See, have a tiny esophagus.

Or a giant peanut, either one. Whatever makes the audience feel like, oh, okay, yeah. Maybe it's a Mr. Peanut, like, phone. Yeah, oh, okay. Yeah, no, yeah, sure. And you could set that up at the end of, you'd just go back and reshoot the last episode of season two and just have him like get a big Mr. Peanut Phone in the mail

and go, my phone arrived. Oh my God, I have it. I want to eat this. Yeah, that's it. That's a good, okay. That's a good. In any case, wonderful show, 27 noms. How many do you have to win in order to feel like,

yeah, this is worth at all the press I'm doing? It's never the whole, the gap. being whole in my soul will never be filled. That's right. You know how it is. Yeah, what happened with not only you but me in order to have this hole that just makes us continue to do this job which just treats us like shit? It's just, it's...

Show business is just a cruel, cruel mistress and yet we try to please her every single day of our lives. And she keeps just turning her nose up at us, if you know what I mean. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, I don't know why we do it, but something, obviously something happened in our childhoods, right? Or at least, you know, before 18. Yeah. Or like between 18 and 19. Yeah. Like the third month of 18. Yeah. Between 18 and 45, the demo. Right. Yeah, exactly. Something, something happens within that demo. Of when you matter as a human being. That's right. Males 18 to 45. That's the only period of time in your life. That matters.

In any case. No, we're, we're just happy to be. In any case, Severance, 27 NOMs, watch the Emmys on, what are we talking, September 11th? September. Why do you keep pulling that date up? In the middle of September. Definitely in the middle of September. Yep, yep.

And just watch the Emmys and see everything that goes down. That's right. And Adam, you, of course, on our other show, you talking you two to me, you pledged that were you ever to win the Oscar? you would get up on stage, accept it, hold it aloft, and say, I'm going to shove this up my butt. I sure, I sure did. I made that book. And will you do the same with the Emmy, or? Well, this is a much different circumstance. And a much bigger award.

Much bigger, differently shaped award. So not going to happen, I guess. No. Okay. Understand. We also have Bob PBS here, air to the PBS 14. Hey, Bob. Thanks for having me.

Really relaxed. Oh, feeling really good. I got, I got, looking through your safe and finding all sorts of childhood mementos and I'm just, I'm just, take them. It doesn't mean anything. I'm a grown-ass man now. I don't need any of these. Also, there's a giant hole in your heart. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm finding it. There's a sled in here. That's right. Bob, do you think this is these goodies you're finding? Do you think it's going to help out? I mean, there's, like I said, there's the cougarans. There's deeds to all sorts of estates.

This is going to really make a real dent in our funding, and I think it's going to. There's also blackmail men. material in there for me so why are you pointing that out oh oh oh oh maybe i shouldn't but yeah there's check out that file the manila folder there yeah there's this mr oswald character that you seem to be friends with mr oswald yeah he's just a he's an old friend and uh you know there's pictures descriptions all sorts of stuff so you can just blackmail me whenever you want and i don't want any of that stuff to come out so oh i have this this guy seems to know the Kennedys?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He knows all of them. Quite well. Yeah. The MTV, VJ, is who you're talking about, right? The Kennedy, the multiple Kennedys.

Yeah, there are three of her. Yeah. She's like the ultimate warrior. Yeah. Yeah. In any case, one name's Kennedy. One Kennedy would die. They'd replace it with more Kennedy.

Well, we have to get to our next guest. And a lot of times on comedy bang, bang, look, the new tagline of the show, Adam, you haven't been around for this. Oh, yeah, no. New tag. It used to be the show where we talked to interesting, People. Then it was Humanities podcast. Then it changed into humanity and the Animal Kingdoms podcast. But now the tagline for the show is Comedy Bang Bang. We care. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And we truly do. We care about you individually as listeners, but we also care about the issues of the day. And so we have a concerned citizen on the show to sort of air his or her grievances today. Please welcome for the first time on the show. Dim, not Dim.

Jim Del Monte. Hey, you're doing. How you's doing, Scott? Hey, it's Jim Del Monte. Yeah, you can also call me a jumbo-tron, Jim, or Jimbo-Tron. And I am concerned. I have some concerns. Jumbotron Jim is a nickname or?

It's a name that I'm trying to get going with people. Oh, okay. For being on Jumbotron. You've been on a Jumbotron? I've been on a Jumbotron before. I've been on a Jumetron six and a half times in the last. What was the halftime? Or was it during half-time, and that's why you say it's a half-time.

No, and that's very first. funny. You're a funny guy. You're very funny guys. The reviews are in. Yes. No, you know, you know, when they put the dance cam on, you know, it's a timeout and a dance cam goes on. You're talking about at a sporting event. Yeah, yeah, at a sporting event. Sure, not when you're disciplining your children. No, no, no, no, no. You put them in timeout and then you put a dance cam on? No, I never, no, I don't see my kids. I don't see my kids. I don't see my kids. You don't see your children? How many children do you have? I have to. And why don't you see them? They don't want to see me right now because of this. unfortunate event actually oh okay what happened well what happened was um and this is why i'm here because you seem in a very giving mood today giving pbs money sure you can take anything else by the way from the oh i didn't realize that you can take my you can take my vote oh he could take your vote and throw it my way you could take my vote i could take your vote you get to take something from my house too you're on the show take his emmy oh i'm taking you guys fuck well you guys why do i point the

out to you thanks mr. PBS you're welcome used to it just taken from I don't want take from you Scott you're not gonna say no I well I want if you want to give I do want to give anything you want I don't want to take okay well you but I hear my story you know what Jim Del Monte I would like to hear your story Jim it's a very it's a classic story so I'm all I'm at the Philadelphia 76 game he's no in Philadelphia in Philadelphia at the Wells Fargo Center and are you from Philadelphia I'm from New York in Philadelphia and that's where this kind of

When you say you're from both of these places Well, I was born in Philadelphia And then six months later My father absconded with me to Philadelphia When you say the word absconded He took me? He kidnapped you? Yeah, he took me there Without my mother's permission

Okay And he's uh... kept you there? Yeah, he kept me there Have you seen your mother since you were? Haven't seen her, haven't seen it, haven't wanted to, haven't thought about it It's not, has nothing, it has had no effect on me Oh, okay, great. Yeah, that's Do you sound leave them off? Yeah.

So I have this thing where I need to be on Jumbotrons. You know, I need to be seen on them. And I think the people need to see me. Okay. So I'm at a Sixers game. And you know, the Sixers are not a great team. So they really need the fans to get into it. And I'm dancing and I'm doing the running man.

The Marathon Man. No, it's the running man. Not the Marathon Man, but I always get them confused. Right. And then this. person starts flossing into my shot. Oh, no. The dance.

Yeah. The what she's doing, she's flossens. And so then it becomes kind of a, I'm sharing the camp. Okay. And you shouldn't have to share the cam when it's, yeah, when it's on you. It's on me. It would seem like normally when I see a dance cam,

they have like one person. That's right. And then they cross fade to a different person. That cross fade, exactly. And then if the audience loves you, they'll go back to you. Yeah, sure. really likes me. I really run hard and I do, you know, I really give my whole, do you always do the running man? I do, no, I have popped in lock before. It depends on what

the song is and what the BPMs are. Okay, what was this song that was playing? This was Hammer Don't Hurt them. They're playing Hammer Don't Hurt them. They're playing Hammer Don't Hurdum. I don't even think this was a single. I think it was the title of that. They were playing deep cuts. Okay. This is a Sixers game. I got, mind you, this is, they're bombing at this point, the Sixers. This is the process ever six. So however, good the team is doing that's well that's the songs they can afford because you know you have to pay you have to

it's a royalty situation and hammer is so hard up that hammer don't heart him is the only thing that we got playing on PBS kids so it's really and he's everywhere and everyone's heard it so one thing leads to another and the person who I'm in a dance now competition with falls

over when you say one thing leads to another did you push this person it's not these are not important details it's not okay I'll take your word for So she falls over, well, over the ledge. Oh, no. That's the worst place to fall. But she falls into a luxury box?

Box, a luxury box. Did it have an awning like those New York City kind of? No, there was no on her, but there were a lot of hot plates. Hot plates on top of the, in the box? No, in the box, you know, with the hot dogs and the cheese steaks. Hot dogs, that's good for you. She heard, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah, you got some subscriptions right there. Oh, that's exciting. Okay. Yeah, well, not so exciting for me because she was hurt a little bit. And there was... She scalds her...

She breaks both of her legs. And, um, and, um, and her mouth, uh, her teeth like went through her upper lip. It was bad. It was, and it was gruesome and the game had to be stopped.

The players were crying. The players were even crying. Well, one Tyrese Maxie's, started cry and then he's so adorable and lovable. Everyone just kind of just from two broken legs and a couple of teeth coming. There was blood everywhere.

Everywhere way up in a luxury box. Well, the luxury box if you, I don't know if you have been one, Mr. actor. Have you ever been in a luxury box? No, I mean, I'm just saying they're on the first level but they're just above there they're on the first level and they're

they're angled slightly to where things run downhill and you can really see it. Yeah. So the blood everyone could see the blood. And, of course, now the camera that was once on me doing the running man to hammer don't hurt him is now on this girl. Right. And they're shooting. I'm like, don't shoot it.

Come back and get on you. Because the song is still going at this point, and now I'm kind of hitting my stride, if you will. Anyway. Without her in the shot, suddenly like, yeah. Yes. And as you know, so when something terrible like this happens, you someone is a scapegoat and they found one. I'm so sorry. So you were blamed for all of this.

For whatever reason, because I was dancing next to this child. She was a child. Is that important? I think that's important information. I mean, how... Okay, but she's old enough to know not to get into your shot. Sounds like a potential Skids Plus subscriber. I mean, I would like to meet this lady, his little girl, and help her...

She's a liar, and don't believe anything her family says... Ooh, Susie in the lawsuit? This is a show. No, okay. Well, or the show is get Jimbo back on into the Wells Fargo Center, because I have now been banned. You've been banned from the whole center? From the whole center, all events. Sixers, Flyers, concerts. Billy Joel comes, can't go.

What other events? I mean, you got the Sixers, the Flyers, concerts. Is it anything else happen? Yeah. You can do, Ringling Brothers comes every year. Do they really? Oh, interesting. Do you like to go?

Something on ice happens. Right. Billy Graham preaching Billy Graham every other year He's great, still got it He's dead He's dead He's dead, I know that for a fact

Did Donald Trump ever do a rally there? Donald Trump He did it in the parking lot But I can no long go in those as well You can't even go in the parking lot? 500 feet, 500 feet Can you believe this? 500 feet

Is that okay? Is that okay to anyone here? That's five football fields There's probably a bunch of other Businesses It's not a lot of football fields One in two-thirds football fields. I'm still curious about the incident itself because you kind of skipped over.

There's nothing really to, okay. Please, I'd love to walk you through it. I mean, I'm just wondering about the part where she fell off the ledge. Right. Did you push her? Do we have evidence of this on tape? What happened? It would seem that it would be on a, on the jumbo tron.

You just can't believe anything you see on on tape. On jumbo trons? Yeah, but the jumbo tromb is gone. That was a one-time thing. So now you just go on YouTube. And yeah. So this is all on YouTube. But it's doctored.

It's doctored. You know, the camera, it's not, it's, it's AI. It's AI. It could be. Okay. It could be AI. I mean, that's what's taken over PBS, right? And AI is going to write, you, you shouldn't like AI either.

It's going to write your separances. Right, right. It's going to write the whole third season. Is that what you said when they're writing it? They're just putting it through Chad GPT? Yeah, that's what I meant. Oh, okay. Yeah, chat GPT is all over these videos.

Oh, is that AI is Chad GPD AI? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. He's the biggest one, chat GPT, is the biggest AI. He's the biggest AI. He's the biggest AI. And now, you know, he's writing all the sentences. He's Alan Iverson, you know, but no longer can I see him. He's a Sixer. Okay, I'll take your word for it. But so you take my word for it. That's what I'm asking you to do. It's pretty simple, Scott. I'll take your word for the guy.

And that's Allen Iverson. Being a, playing for who? The Sixers? The Sixers. Okay, sure. I'll take your word for that. But quite honestly, your story beggars belief. I think that you, here's what I think, I think you were jealous that this little girl, how old is this little girl? It's not important. Seven. Seven year old little girl got into your jumbo trombot shot. But a big girl. And she was flossing. She was flossing uncontrollably.

Okay, she's seven years old. She's swinging her hands around. I'm sorry. This is a fun dance to do. Yeah. When I was seven, I was trying to dig a hole out of my father's basement. What? Oh. Not important. Okay. Can I ask?

Yeah, Bob. Anything you want, Bob? Do you think you're so obsessed with being on the Jumbo Trot? Because you're hoping your mommy will find you? What are you talking about? That's insane. Is your mom a Sixers fan? Do you remember anything about that?

Yeah, you know, she liked the NBA. She liked the National Basketball Association. She liked the National Basketball Association. Okay. She liked Alan Iverson. She was an Iverson fan. She loved him. She loved him.

So you go to these games. You don't, I mean, you only lived in Philadelphia for six months out of your life. You're born in, or raised in New York, rather. Yeah, that's right. You say the word you's, or yiz instead of you. That's how you say use. So you're real New York. I guess.

So you have no connection to Philadelphia other than the- I have a lot of connection. People come to the games to see me on the Jumbotron. That's my connection. I give something to the people. I'm sorry. Do you have no connection to your fans or the severance peoples or to the P.B. I have a connection to the severance people.

Yeah, Scott does. These are your fans. Are you saying that's why people come to Sixers games is to see you on the Jumbo Drom? Maybe not on the nose that, but I think, yes, yes, is part. I think that the enjoyment of the games has gone down exponentially. And people have told me that. Jim. Yes, Scott.

why not just figure out what your original name was and call your mother what do you think your original because your name is Jim Del Monte this is obviously a fake name that your father adopted in order to elude capture

yeah that's just the can of beans yeah it's the can of it's really the peaches he loved oh the beaches were there any clues at your house as to what your original name might be no I there was it was sixers paraphernalia everywhere

it was everywhere just everywhere everywhere yeah everywhere bathroom that oh you kidding me i peed into a hoop wow were you supposed to do that yeah it was because it just be like a time was a time waster oh it was no it's right above the toilet no right no the time was there was the trash bed the trash bit i would throw things in okay but the hoop was right over the toilet the hoop is right over the toilet and it really it was a mess too yeah what about for poopoo poopoo was awful but i had I developed a strong core. Strong calves, too.

Yeah, just squatting over that. Was the hoop? Was the hoop high up or was the hoop on the toilet? Was it regulation? Right. It was about five feet above. No, I mean, five inches. Sorry, I do the feet yard thing again.

Okay, got it. So five inches above the actual rim of the toilet. But that's a lot when you're talking about bending over. Anything. If you go into a restaurant and it's like a little bit different, you're like, whoa. Yeah. Five inches is you basically, you know, poop. pooping on Mars.

So in any case, Sixers paraphernalia ever, maybe your original name was like Joe Sixer? Joe Sixer. I don't know. Yeah. I don't really, Scott,

I don't think you know much about basketball. That's fine. But, um, and that's really, I have to know about basketball to guess what your name is? Well, probably, you know,

it just might be, it's possible that it was a, you know, a Sixer player is my real father. Oh. Interesting. I'm thinking. Who are the famous Sixer players in history?

There's Alan Iverson. know that for a fact. Yeah, he was too young. Dr. Jay? Dr. Jay? I was sure I was going to be wrong about that. You got it. You both were right.

Dr. Jay is your real father? It's been rumored. Oh. There's been a rumor going around. So your real name might be Irving. Well, what do you think the Jay came from? Jim. Wait, you said this rumor has been going around.

Where has this rumor been going around? Mostly in my head, but I also on, There's two Reddit threads that one I started and one that I did not start. Are you black? Yeah. If you'll forgive us, you don't look, no. Not one bit black. Not even, yeah, not one bit.

But it can happen. They can happen. He's right. You've got hidden black. I don't think that's what you can call it. I don't think that's what you can call it hidden black. I don't know. I think we, I look like my mother who looks like Michael Chickles.

Your mother looks like Michael Chickles, you think? Like a more beautiful Michael Chickles. More beautiful. Yeah, how can you get more beautiful than Michael Chickles? Sorry, but. It's hard to. It's an attractive man. But you don't remember your mother.

No, I don't. I don't remember my mother. In your mind, though, she looks like a beautiful Michael Chickles. Who's a Sixers fan? And dating one of the white players, I would think. Maybe, but we don't know. Because that can happen, as we have established. It can happen.

I guess. It can happen. But it also, yes, I could be Jeff Hornacek, son, I guess. I don't know. He's white. He was white. He was white. He's white. Today. He's white today. He's white today. He still is. He's white today. He's white today. But anyway, I'd love to get back doing what I'm supposed to be doing. That's what I'm saying. These details. I don't know what we're talking about my mother. Well, what about finding a new basketball arena to Jumbo Trong? You live in New York? Why do you get to do they get to? Yeah, just go to Madison Square Garden or do they play there? They call it the garden for sure. Do they really? Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. That is beautiful.

Well, I have tried, Philadelphia is out for me. Yeah, sounds like it. I tried to get into a Villanova game. I guess the AI technology, they know your face. Oh, really? So they'll just stop you right at the door now. Yeah, they'll throw cold water on that right away. And so, yeah, I could go to, I could go to the garden, I guess.

But, you know, I don't know that the right people would see it. Maybe the Sixers will play there someday. Yeah. They do play there, Scott. an interest. Maybe you do know more about basketball than I thought. I mean, they will. I have a rudimentary grasp of the fact that teams play each other. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. I had not even considered that, but maybe I could just go to away games for

the Sixers. Oh, sure. Every Sixers away game. Sure. Do you think your mother might be in the... That's not important to me. It's more about the fans, but it's possible that my mother could be there. What happened to this gentleman who has been acting as your father all these years? What has happened to him? He's a great man, and he's in person right now for a little bit. He's a great man. You were trying to escape from his basement. But it was a basement of love.

But you were trying to escape the loving basement? Yeah, just to get food. Oh. Man, this doesn't sound like a great man. Did you turn him in? I didn't turn him in, per se, but when I ran from the home, and it was covered in my own, you know, feces. Why did you cover yourself in your own feces?

Warmth, mostly, I think. But also, I had gone, I had gone a little crazy, I guess, a little bit. I had created stories in my head that were not true about him, which I'd love to get him out, too. That would be the second thing is like to bring justice to my father, who's not Jeff Hornacek or Alan Iverson. But the important thing is, I'm okay now. good good and my dad and my dad is is doing great yeah you sound like you both I'm okay you're okay yeah it's not you sound like I'm a okay okay you're just the thumbs are extended upwards yay yeah I'm a real yay guy I just want to get back you just want to get back where

you belong in front of the big screen which I'm sure you can relate you know you can just buy a camera and a projector you can buy a jumpotron yeah I'm selling a actually I have one over there if you just want to take a jumbo tromba. Could that be your thing? That could be your thing that you take with you, yeah. I really wanted your connections in Hollywood to get me back in, but now I can just get a jumbo tron. I'll take the jumbo tron. You could just put a camera on yourself all day long. Yeah. Yeah, that's not a bad idea, but I don't know that important people would see it. You know what? Fastened to the top of your van or your car. It's a van. It's a van. I assumed it was. It's an ikono line. Yeah, I figured it was.

And then just broadcast yourself on the Jumbotron drive around the streets of Philadelphia and eventually your mother will go see it. That hadn't occurred to me. Well, that's why we're here because at Comedy Bang Bang, we care. He really helped the citizen here. Hey, you know what? You were a concerned citizen,

and now you're an unconcerned citizen because I've solved your problem. I'm no longer concerned. That's what we do here at Comedy Bang Bang. We did it, Adam. That's beautiful. Wow. We helped one person.

We helped two people. I'm rich again. Oh, that's right. I forgot about it. I'm poor. You help two people. Hey, Adam, we're a team here. Thank you.

Hey, we got Adam and Emmy. He hasn't put his vote in yet. He might get you. That might be your one thing that you take with you is my vote. Well, guys, we are running out of time, unfortunately. We do have time for one final feature, though, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Well, it's plugs for me and not for thee. Why don't you take your plugs and push you?

um on the shelf it's plugs for me and not for thee you can promote your stupid project somewhere else somewhere else that was gorgeous That was somewhere else by the Corn Sweat Quartet.

Thank you so much. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs, and you can upload your songs there. You can find all of everything you would need for remixes. Everything you need is right there. All right, guys, what are we plugging at him? Obviously, Severance. Severance is on Apple TV Plus.

That's right. And it could be on Skids Plus if you're interested. Yeah, listen. At 5,000 a month, I can't afford it. Yeah, you know what? One hot dog, you get severance on Skids Plus. This sounds like a good deal. That's a great deal.

You get a hot dog anywhere in the world. Any severance on Skids Plus. And Bob PBS, what do you want to plug here? Well, obviously, S Kids, Skids Plus, or whatever you want to call it. And just make sure to, you know, just send me all of your children's hopes and dreams. Do you have any licensing deals for any movies? That'll be on Skids Plus. Clifford.

Anything in theaters right now that you want people to see before it hits skisclis? He's really hitting this to you, buddy. I wanted, I mean, I heard the new Naked Gun movies. Oh, yeah, you've heard that too? I heard the new Naked Gun movie. Yeah, Jim Gilmonte, you heard this as well? It's the only other place I want to go. I don't want to be on the screen when I'm seeing Naked Gun.

I want to just watch. Let the screen come to me. Let the actors be up on the screen during that movie. Oh, that movie was something else, a laugh riot. I saw that movie too, you guys. You saw it? Yeah, it's really good. We all saw it.

Would it hurt the movie, though, to occasionally during the movie, turn the camera back on the crowd and dance? There wasn't enough of director showing up being like, hey, it's me. Doing the blue steel into the, yeah, why didn't Akiva do the blue steel into the camera? Who knows at this point? Next time. Next time. All right, what do we got here? Oh, this is very exciting.

We have a new series of action figures, comedy bang bang action figures. We're releasing them. They're coming this September. We have six that we're announcing, and two will be shipped out in September. Let's see. We have this series two figures, entrepineur, Italiano Jones, Reggie Watts, Forville, Dalton Wilcox, and Jason Manzucas. All of this is coming soon. Entre P. Neuer and Italiano Jones, action figures are now available for pre-order at figurecollections.com.

They'll be shipping out in September, and also we still have Randy Snuts and Carissa, Big Sue, Sprague the Whisperer, J.W. Stillwater and Scott Ackerman Figures. This is available for customers worldwide at figurecollections.com with free shipping with the U.S. address or in Europe with cheaper import fees at actionfigureseller.com. These are, these look really good. I'm really excited about these. And if you've been collecting them, you know how great these are. All right. Let's close up. the old plug bag. Open up the plug bag, 2020. Oh, in the plug in the jungle, back. Dude, dude. Open to plug back. Dude, dude.

Open the plug. Bang, bang, bang, back. All right. That was Plug in the Jungle by Sasha and Natasha. Thanks so much for that remix. And, guys, I want to thank you, Adam. Great to see you. You too, man.

We ever going to do any more of our podcast? We have to. All right. Very good. We are legally required. Yes. We both got into a car accident, and instead of doing traffic school, Yeah, we had to do this podcast.

And we're almost done. We only have 2,500 more hours to go on it. Is that right? That's right. All right. We'll see you soon. And then Bob PBS. Good luck to you.

Thank you. Enjoy everything in the safe. It's bringing me peace. I'm seeing some of your childhood mementos. Yes. I'm going to sell those. Oh, okay. Yeah.

No problem. Yeah. It's yours. And hey, Jim, enjoy this Jumbotron. Thank you. Thank you for the idea. And I think I can't wait to meet to meet my mother. That's right.

I can't wait to meet your mother. You can turn this into a TV series. How I Met My Mother. Instead of how I met your mother, it's how I met my mother. It's a great idea. And Adam, you can star in this. On Skits. On Skits.

On Skits Plus. Oh, I love my mommy? How I love my mommy. Help me find my mommy. Help me find my mommy and love her. Sure. All right. We'll see you next time.

Thanks. Bye. Thank you.