Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Skinny Chess (Jon Hamm, Seth Morris, Shaun Diston)

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

Member of the "12th Timer Club," Jon Hamm, is back in the studio to talk about his new series "Your Friends & Neighbors" on Apple TV. Then, a lumpier Bob Ducca drops by to talk about his involvement in the men's vitality movement. Plus, Mike Ruby - The No Stank Plumber - sighs while sharing the sad fates of his plumbing friends.  Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Comedy bang, bang, bang, comedy bang, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang. Comedy bang, bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang. You miss one hundred percent of the shots. You don't take and 100 percent of the shots. you do take because you're bad at sports and miss every shot. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Too long.

Thank you to Floppy Baby for that catchphrase submission. Floppy Baby. The hunt continues. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. My name is Scott Ackerman. I don't even believe I introduced myself on our last episode. So if you listen to all of that and had no idea who the host was, but you said, you know what? I'll try another one in case he introduces himself.

I am Scott Ackerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. We have a great episode coming up a little later. a custodian, someone who works in custodial services. So that's a good episode of Comedy Bang Bang, I think. But on the other end of the spectrum, although I don't know, I would imagine that you make a mess of the toilet occasionally. I'm proud, a proud mess. He is an old friend of the show.

He, of course, put in six seasons or seven. How made you do with that show? What show? What other show of you? The division? The division, of course. We all remember you. Me and Nancy McKee.

I remember those, the billboards around town. It was huge. There's my friend John. He made it. Television for women. Lifetime television for women. Ten tits and a dick. You, of course, were the owner of two of those tits.

Yes, two beautiful, masculine tits. How many seasons of Mad Men did you? We did eight seasons of Mad Men. You're kidding me. 93 episodes. Why not do the extra seven? It does beg the question. You know what I mean?

Just come back for a little completion. Do it all over the round number. You know, one episode per season or whatever. Just do a final season where there's like seven more. Why don't you get back together? Do a final season. Listen, your lips to God's ears. Honestly, that show kind of stopped in the middle of things.

Did it? Pretty much at the end of the continent. Well, whatever. Maybe you didn't see the end. Who knows? Yeah, well, I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention. A lot of people didn't pay attention.

It was a show really made for passive viewing. But he, he, of course, played Don Draper. Don Draper. On Madman. Don Draper. And Donald Diper. Now he,

inexplicably is playing a guy named Andrew Cooper. Cooper. Cooper, Draper, Cooper, Draper, Cooper, Draper, Cooper, Draper, Cooper, Cooper, Draper, Cooper, Craper. On a different show called Your Friends and Neighbors, which is coming out on April 11th. Apple TV Plus. On Apple TV Plus.

Once a week. The first two episodes will drop on the 11th, and then it'll be once a week, the slow drip. So if you have an extra $500,000, $1,500 in your spare pocket, and you want an Apple TV subscription. It doesn't cost that much. You're really radically overestimating the cost of it. I think it's much closer.

I mean, with all the bells and whistles. Well, sure, if you want a really good connection and like all the stuff, yeah, $500 million. But other than that, no, it's remarkably affordable. Please welcome back to the show for, I'm going to try to guess how many actual episodes you've done. Your guess is as good as mine. I'm going to say 12. I think it's at least 12.

At least 12. Okay, so 13, maybe. Let's say 13. A baker's dozen. Please welcome back, John Hammond. Bring the aforementioned Baker. Donald Baker. Donald Baker.

Donald doesn't. Joe Don Baker. Joe Donald Baker. Hi, John. Welcome back to the show. Thank you so much for being back for being, I believe you've done. I'm checking it out right here. I have your stats, ready.

It's like a little Like a little baseball card But with my CBB stats You have done in terms of the podcast Only the podcast Not the television show Or the radio show No the radio show

No the radio show But have you ever done a live episode? I don't think so Okay so you and how many episodes Of the TV show did it? Just one One. Okay

So out of the podcast This is your 12th appearance Wow that is such an amazing guest Incredible. And let me give you... And I'm an amazing guest. Let me give you your numbers. You did four episodes of our first hundred. Oh, wow. So I was an early adopter.

That's right. You were on episode 12. Holy moly. Was that when they were once a week? They still are once a week, yeah. Well, you know, pandemic. I don't know. Are we still in the pandemic? Planned Dement. Then you did one episode in the hundreds.

Okay. So I took a little breather. I was probably a little busier than in the hundreds. It wasn't truly a breather as much as, because you did 126. That was number, episode 100. So it was like, you're doing about every 25 episodes. I got it. Then you didn't come back again until 211.

So you went. But I got it. I'm still in the once a hundred. You're still in once a hundred, but it was a couple years before you came back. Then you jump all the way up to 4994. Oh, I miss the threes. I miss the threes.

That was four years later. I wonder where I was during the threes. We, of course, had our legendary... The terrible threes. Yeah, Scott and I were at Loggerheads. Which is a beautiful camp up in Northern California, by the way. If you ever get a chance to go to Loggerheads, please, please enjoy it. Gorgeous.

Yes. Sponsor of the show, yes. Then you come back about a year later, in fact, under a year later, you're in episode 540. And then you do another episode in the 500s, 599. Well, because I feel like I kind of dissed the threes, so I wanted to get back on that prime number train. Also, it was our 10th anniversary episode. You came in and did something. That was fun. I remember that one. And then... It was a rainy day in Hollywood. You were on five. Was that a rainy day really? I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. That was

interesting. So that was 599, which may as well have been the 600s. Close enough. So we'll count it in the 600s. Then you're back up to 774. Dang. That's three years later, of course. The pandemic happens. Yeah, it happens. I mean, it's almost like it was planned. And then you go to 839, which is a year later. And now you're in 900. This is like 909 or something like that. One after 909. So wow, an incredible recap of all of your appearances that created about five minutes of content. So much content. And I think I'm going to say it riveting. People were like, I don't know, is he going to make the fours? Is he going to make the fives? What's the $5.99? Is it a six? Well, you're a good friend of the show. I appreciate you being here. It's always a fun time.

Hope to have you in the thousands. I hope so, too. Maybe one triple O. I'd certainly. I wouldn't turn down an invitation. Really? You want to be on the thousands? You know, I'm a big, I'm a big anniversary guy, clearly.

You're coming up on your first anniversary of being married, I believe. It's the second, but sure. Is this public? Oh, it's a second. Second anniversary in June, which is nice. What I meant to say is the first anniversary of your first anniversary. First anniversary, of course. Congratulations.

Thank you. It's a very, yes, no, I've got married in 2003. Wonderful stuff. We all love. You know, up in Big Sur. Beautiful, beautiful. We mentioned that you did eight years in approximately 93 episodes of the Madman TV show. Exactly, 93.

You can count them. And then it comes to my attention via the newswires that you have some other show called your friends and neighbors. I watch Madman and I go, you know what? That's the perfect. Why do more? That's the perfect cap of his career. Why would you do more? I think I am confused and our listeners are confused as to why you would do another TV show.

I think part of why I'm here is to help alleviate that confusion in some way. Explain this to us in ways that will make us understand. Scott, I don't know if you've heard of this device, this kind of concept. Money. It's a great thing. Oh, is that why you're doing all these commercials? Yeah, man. It enables you to buy goods and services.

Oh, okay. Like if you needed to... What's the best thing you bought recently? Ooh, good question. The best thing I bought... Because you mentioned to me that you bought... Well, goods and services. A poster for eight days in the valley.

Yes, I do own a giant one sheet for eight days in the valley. It was a lot... It was about a week long in the valley. And it was a lot... There was a lot of hijinks. It was Charlie Stairns's first starring vehicles. I believe James Spader. Maybe woods.

There was one, there was some, what's the difference between a spayer and a wood? Exactly. I would imagine a spader goes to work in the woods. For sure. Using a spade. You got to spade that stuff out. Their ancestors probably work together. Hugely, hugely intertwined families.

The greatest thing I bought recently, I don't, you know, I don't, I don't What kind of car do you drive? And what's your license plate number? My license plate number is 7-2G, G543. It is a distributor plate. Oh, wait, you must have one of those because you do the commercials. I got the freebie, man. You get the freebie, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you don't even have to buy that. No, so I don't have to buy that. So what's the best thing that you, but like, what's something where you're like, man, doing these shows is all worth it because I bought this. Buddy, let me tell you what I just bought recently that blew my mind. I bought myself some free time. Whoa. That's more valuable than anything.

Man, I'm telling you. Free time with your lady? child. You know, free time is more valuable than anything. That's right. Yeah, that's why we work so hard. That's why you work so hard. Hey, a lot of people live to work. This guy works to live. That's right. I work to work. Well, that's also totally fine. Sometimes I live to live to live. Sometimes you live and let die, I noticed too. I did that once. It was a little bit painful. So I tried not to do that. I used to tell me about your friends and neighbors because I, this is baffling to me. You were on this Apple TV about. a year ago where you were playing, you were on the morning show and you were, they were asking the question, what if Elon Musk were handsome? Which is like a fanciful world that we can't even really imagine. Or articulate. Yes. It was, it all started, Scott, and I know again, I know you know how this business works. Yeah. If you want a job, really anywhere, what you really should do get headshots is for any job. For sure. Get a headshot. And by all means, buy a beeper.

Yeah, and make it a composite, too. Try to be in a like a chef in one picture. Yeah, there's like, hey, a spicy meatball, maybe something funny, maybe something serious. Any job. Cry and clown. You know, whatever, juggle.

You can do, whatever you can do represent that in your headshot. And make sure you say you can horseback ride on your CV. Or, as you might say, a comp card. Yes. Regardless, what you really need to do when you want a job on any of these streaming platforms, and there are so many, Scott. Yes. You've got Fuby, you've got Tooby.

You've got Blueby. Blueby. and you've got Netflix, you've got Hulu, you've got YOLO, which is the, if you only live once, you should get that one. Weirdly, they only stream you only live twice. Which is odd. And they only do it, guess how many times? Once.

Yep. And then they just turn the lights on. And that's it. You're $9.99 a month. Anyways, what you do? So let me guess what you do. You have to do a commercial for them to let them know you'll play ball. Scott, that's exactly what you do.

You get them to pay you to do a commercial on their own platform where you beg for a job. Yeah, that's essentially what that commercial was. It wasn't it? It was a commercial of everyone else in Hollywood has a TV show on Apple except for me. Except for me. And then suddenly you have a TV show. Two. Two.

Yeah, you have a morning show. Are you still on that morning show? TBD, but you never know. You never know about this guy. I mean, listen, this guy's here and there. He's everywhere. he's in space, he's on the earth, he's, who knows? I thought it was weird on the morning show with the last episode where, like, basically

it all comes out that you tried to screw over Jennifer Anderson. Spoilers for the morning show. Come on, it was two years ago. And then he just jumps into a rocket chip and goes, bye-la-lai! And just sails off into space. It was such a, such an odd end to a series that I was like... I thought the weirdest thing about the end of the morning show was all of a sudden it was like afternoon. That's the thing is truth and advertising is very important to me. That's why Saturday Night Live, which I know you're hosting in a week or so. is... Four time, guys.

Come on, guys. Come on, I mean, by the way, you're in the 12th timer club on this show. So we care about you even more. Yep, yep, yep. But that show is, they say Saturday Night Live. Two-thirds of it takes place on Sunday morning.

Also, you want to do your 50th anniversary and you want to do it on a Sunday? Hey, guys. Guys, it's called Saturday Night Live for a reason. It's not Saturday Night Live on Australia. Oh, my God, these guys. In any case, so, yeah, the morning show, like, I was noticing like occasionally like you were boned down on Jennifer Anderson.

Nighttime. Night time. Night time. Yeah. It's morning somewhere, I guess is the idea. I guess that's the idea behind the show. They do make that disclaimer.

The idea is, once again, you demand that the streaming platform in question. Yes, yes. Pay you for a commercial. Then give you a television show. This is what happened. Wow.

This is an incredible story. So your friends and neighbors starts, it's a, it's a, so wait, I could do this? If you had the gumption. I guess I don't have the gumption.

Buddy, you got to get a gumption guy. So what I just talked to Apple TV, I say, hey, pay me to do a commercial. Say, hey, guys. How about, how about a little Scott sauce sauce? How about a little Scott hot sauceerman? This is a good piece of advice. I'm just going to do a cold call. Just cold call them.

They'll know who's talking, right? Hey, Apple. Have a little Scott sauce. Call the Genius Bar and go, where do I do that? Yeah, go work my way up through the genius bar. Listen, somebody knows somebody. That's how works. This guy, by the way,

Have we talked about this guy, Tim Cook? He works at Apple, but his name is cook. His name should be Tim Apple. But, okay, it's Cook, we give you that. But he doesn't cook apples? Exactly. What the fuck is going on with this guy? Can you throw a pie into anything?

Throw a pie into one thing. One goddamn thing. Anyway. So whatever. Your friends and neighbors. Your friends and neighbors is a contemporary story unlike Madman, which takes place in the 1960s. But so are you saying that this show takes place in the exact hour that anyone ever

watches it? No. It takes place. in the past. No, just contemporary, contemporary, contemporary, like near, near, but how long ago were we talking? I think just, just maybe within, within days. Like, calendar week? Yeah, within days of now. Yeah, within days of now. So wait, the, the events of, I mean, I think the events of the

first episode are, how soon is now, and this is what they said. The events of the first episode are about to happen because the show doesn't come out for another 11 or 12 days or so. Hey, hey, hey, tune in. So this is all said in the future, according to when we're taking. taping this and when this comes out. Depending on the present. Okay, so this is a futuristic show. Could be. Interesting.

So are there lasers and stuff or what? I mean, aren't there lasers and everything? Try to open your phone without a laser. Good luck. And no one's wearing glasses, so I bet they use lasers to correct their vision. Lasic. Mm-hmm. Tim Cook knows about it.

His name should be Tim Lasik. Tim Lasick. You know, but then he wears glasses. So this guy's confusing. Oh, man. You know Jobs had it right. You know what Steve Jobs had? A job.

Exactly. Johnny Cash. Money. Bob Hope? All he did was give the soldiers hope. Thank you. Good Lord. So in any case, this is a futuristic show.

Joe Penny from Simon versus Simon. Penny Wise? Also, they had nothing but copper coins. I'd love to live in the sewer. What about you? I mean, depending on the sewer, have you been to some of these sewers? You can trick out a sewer. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. There's a couple places in Manhattan. I was like, there's some nice tile work. Beverly Hills Sewers, I do you? Yeah, 9021, yes. So this guy's, first of all, he decides to call himself Andrew Cooper. Well, he goes by Coop. Did parents name in this?

His birth name, Andrew, last name, Cooper. Because in Madman, there was all this like shenanigans with Don Draper is in his real name. Like, is that the same thing happening? No, we went to, we went away from that. We felt like we did that in the first show. It would be balzy if in the middle of the third season. Every character I play is like, is that your real name? And I'm like, I got something I tell you.

You got to pitch this. Sorry. No, it's his real name. He goes through sort of a seismic event in his life. He loses his job through no fault of his own. Some corporate chicanery, a little shenanigans happened to him. And because his main source of income has evaporated. His job.

That's usually people's main sources of income. Yeah, but some people have ancillary income, you could say. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people's ancestors, you know. Yeah, aunts and Uncle Salary. Uncle Salary and Ancelary They sometimes give you money Sure Anyways, he does lose his job

He is living a very expensive existence And he kind of takes Takes account of all of his friends And neighbors around him and realizes These people don't need all this stuff Maybe he can start Relieving them of some of them By fits and starts and steals from them

And Oh like he goes over to their houses at parties And like takes a necklace or two Yes, yes, yes. I love this. He's like a modern-day Robinhood. He's like a Robin Hood. Giving it to himself.

But giving it to himself. Yeah. So I think he might have missed kind of the point of Robin Hood, but he's got the Robin part. Sure, yeah. Yes, he was definitely robbing. Does he wear a hood? Do you get to wear a cloak or anything like that with Dr. Strange? I got to tell you, he does wear a hoodie.

That's close. Robin hoodie. That's close. Which was the working time. So the cast on this, we're talking Olivia Munn. Olivia Munn. Amanda Pete. Amanda Pete.

Mark Tallman His last name is Tallman But it looks like tall man And he's a tall man Is he a tall man? What are we talking? 62, 63? Tall enough

Those are good stats I mean he's not an Ockerman-sized human being But six two and a half But that's not true at all Really? You think I'm taller than that? I think you were at least six four

I've stood next to No, no I'm not saying Come on I mean I felt like every time I stand next to you Posein and Tall John I feel like I am

I'm the shortest out of both of them We have Hoon Lee We have Lena Hall We have... Lena Hall from Broadway's Headwick and the Angry Inch. Yep. Amy Carrero, who people would know from Shira. Shara.

Shra. And then recurring, we're talking Corbynson from L.A. Law. Yes, indeed. Corbyn from Major League. Yes. Roger Dorn from Major League, the affable second basement. That's right. And then a bunch of people who I don't know. But I mean, this is...

But you will. You will know them. They'll be imprinted on my memory from here to the end of time. It's a wonderful ensemble. It's a, it's a funny show. It's a dark show. There's, you know, a lot of difficulties happen because of the, the criminal nature of what you get to do the mission impossible thing where like you lower yourself into a room. It's not, no, it's not.

It's more just him kind of looking around and sort of peeling off from the crowd into a closet and just stealing some stuff. Bruce Wayne did exactly everything. Instead of becoming Batman, he just goes and steal stuff in the other room. He stole stuff from his friends. Like, all right. Hey, man. So this is sort of like a Batman type of show that's set in the future. Yes.

It's a lot like Batman and a little like Mad Men. So it's Batman. Batman. Well, this is a dynamite show. I mean, your friends and neighbors. It obviously comes out on Apple TV Plus. Apple TV Plus April 11th, the first two episodes were streaming. Day after Wednesday.

So you're going to be streaming. to be drying off. Yeah, Fortensky. I'll be, uh... Yeah, Fort Ten, obviously he's wet day when we get as wet as possible. As possible. You have to get wet. So is everyone like drying off in this show in the first scene like from wet day?

Or you say it's contemporary. So I imagine that... I mean, I'll let you find out. But I think the answer might surprise you. Oh boy. Yeah. I'm not sure. Which is going to surprise me more.

No or yes. Maybe a mixture. Tune in. Someone like wipes their... No, no, no. No, no. It will be patently apparent. Oh, man.

This is going to be the perfect television. That's what you call a teaser. Of course, we're celebrating wet day next week on the show. Wet day. Wet day. What day? This is a good thing that we need to tour in the country with. Third base.

John Hamm is here, and did you have to figure out what a hedge fund manager is when you did this show? Or did you just say lines? I just said lines. Let's be honest. We all have a working idea of what a hedge fund manager is. Do we? I still have no idea. Sonic the hedge fund manager.

I think we all know there's Sonic and Knuckles and one of them manages hedge fund and one of them doesn't one's red one's blue I get it I get it

I'm a professional actor If there ever was anything that you didn't understand Wikipedia Wikipedia really So right to the source So you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of your peers

By like asking a question No no no no no Just go right to Wikipedia Yeah no thank you That's why it's there That's why I donate $4 a year Do you do you Oh boy those are big numbers

Big numbers Do you think about it There's probably a bill people that use that, that's $4 billion a year if everybody follows my lead. The website that I go to the most every day. And I have never donated and I need to rectify that. Just change it. Change it today.

Just do an auto pay. Like, well, 500 a month. Exactly. You know, that's an Apple TV plus subscription. That's the base level. Yeah, for sure. I mean, you're going to want to get a little bump it up a little more. But yeah, yeah, for sure.

To get the real shows, too. I think of the good stuff. Like basically just 500 a month pays for like the Apple logo on your script. You get an Apple logo on your screen. You get a sticker to put on the back of your laptop. Which is really nice. Which is awesome because then everybody will think, oh, it's a Mac. It's a MacBook.

Exactly. Instead of that dumb acer. How many days a week you work on this show? All of them. You did a five day, really. Oh, yeah. These are Mad Men numbers. Yeah, it was a tough.

And it's a lot harder to do that. I'm just turned 54 years old, March 10th. And it's a lot harder to do that in your 50s than it is in your 30s. But I love doing the work and it was fun. I enjoyed it. We shot the show in upstate New York. So we were living in New York City. That was really fun.

I'd never really... I didn't have any time. You're working five days a week. Yeah, exactly. Although we did see one. What was it called? It was the Tom Stoppard play that was... Oh, it was so heavy.

That Josh Molina was in and David Cromholtz and anyway, you know what? Great people. Great show. It was about the Holocaust. It was super... Oh! Bad times. So, so...

So you had a great time shooting it. Yes, wonderful time shooting. From action to cut, fabulous times had on screen. Yes. Craig Gillespie, who you might know from I-Tanya. He directed the first couple episodes. He also directed me. Please don't joke about I-Tanya this Christmas, by the way. Why, Tanya?

Exactly. Third base. So it's a great way, words of wisdom. It's a great TV show. We need people to watch this. Hey, tune in. Check it out. Second season in the bag already.

We're starting the second season before the first one even comes out. That's how much people like this show. And by people, I mean the people that are paying for it at Apple. I love this. All right, we're all going to watch it. We're all going to dry off on the post-wed day. Dry off from wet day. Dry off from wet day on April 11.

So Friday Dry Day? Friday, Dry Day. That's exactly. I mean, wet day happens on a different day every year. But this year. This year's a Friday, Friday. Come on, guys. Thank you, John.

You are welcome. This is going to come in handy for next week when we do our wet day special. We need to take a break. We have someone who works in custodial services. I cannot wait. It's been a minute. I've got questions. We have one of our biggest stars who's done the show 12 times, and we have someone who's a janitor.

You know what? I'm not going to give that guy any shit. Hey, I love it. We're going to come right back. This is a very exceptional 12th episode of John Hams. We're going to come right back with more comedy bang bang, bang right after this. Dirty Doesn't. Tamama, ma'am.

Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. John Hamm is here. Your Friends and Neighbors, which is a TV series. Apparently it was something else because Wikipedia has... It was something else.

I think it might have been a movie, but you know what? Who gives a shit? It was a 1998 black comedy film written and directed by Neil LeBute. Oh. Neil LeBute, yes, correct. I think it was a play that turned into a movie starring.

And this has nothing to do with that? No. How does this make Neil Lebutte feel? He like turns on Apple TV Plus one day and he's like, they're making a series out of my movie. We're going to be rich, honey. We're going to be rich. And then his wife goes, we've been over this.

You can't copyright a title. Yeah. Yeah. It's too bad. Yep. Sorry, Neil. Sorry, Neil, but you are out of luck. In any case, your friends and neighbors comes out on April 11th on Apple TV Plus.

Scott, don't be alarmed. Oh, whoa. What? Scott. Don't be alarmed. John, is that you? No, no, no, that's not me. Look, under the table.

Oh, my God. Sorry. Sorry, you've been down there. A long time. Hi, Bob. Hey, John, do you know Bob Duka, my next stepfather? Finally, place a face to the shoe. I do know Bob Duke.

Hello. Hello, John. Hi, Bob. Hi, Scott. What are you doing here under the table? It's a very urgent matter. I've come to you. A desperate man.

How long have you been here if it's so urgent? Let's not get bogged down into detail, Scott. Okay. Did you hear the entire first segment? Pretty good, I thought. It was a great segment. Thanks, Bob. I love the shout out to 80s, late 80s rep group third base. Third base, spelled BASS, through the hard way, words of wisdom. But Scott, jokes and security breaches aside, I have an important question to ask you. Sure, Bob, sorry, for the listener, by the way, this is Bob Duka. He was married to my mother for six months.

back in the 90s, was it? Again, let's not get bogged down into details here. Just know that this connection can never be unbroken and you are my forever baby boy. It's very sweet. Which makes what I'm about to ask you all the more ironic. All right. I was a grown adult when you were married to my mother, but all right. Always be a baby boy to me.

Scott, I've come to ask you for your hand and please adopt me. What? I need you. I've looked into the legalities of this. I need you to adopt me for love, sure, but also for medical insurance. You want me to adopt you? Bob, first of all, you didn't even adopt me when you were married to my mother. I didn't want it because...

Everybody was all uptight about it. Not that uptight, I just, I was in my 30s, I believe. Sure. And didn't need a father figure at that point. What is... Okay, let's get into the weeds on what need is. What does anybody need? Let's break it down.

Food, shelter, water. Right? No, not that specific. Again, let's not get buck down in detail. Please don't get bucked in. Okay, food, shelter, water? Water. And everything else is gravy, baby.

Okay, food, shelter, water, gravy. Right. Okay. No, not gravy. Everything else is grave. Everything else falls under gravy. Sure. Okay.

The point is, the way that I wanted to adopt you had nothing to do with need. It had to do with ritual, tradition, and a strong desire to connect. I understand that, but what, why then would the shoe be on the other foot? Why would I then need to adopt you? Thank you so much, right. You could probably tell from my demeanor that I'm much buffer than I usually am. You do look great. I wouldn't say great necessarily. I wouldn't say bad. Some would say buffer. Some would say lumpier. Scott, I've become fully engrossed in the men's vitality movement and for the last six weeks. Had you been dabbling before, but now you're. fully engrossed? I've dipped a toe in and now I'm deep, deep in it. Okay. I've been,

I've been a patient, a client at the Alpha Dynamics Men Trans Longevity Clinic run by Dr. Winona Bambini. What does that entail? I don't know what any of those words. I will tell you what, but I need the insurance to cover. It's longevity. It's male vitality. You know there's a crisis of masculinity in this country in the world. I hadn't noticed. John. It doesn't feel like it. It feels like that might be made up. No, listen, you, my friend, have nothing to worry about. You are dripping with masculinity. But this little, God bless you, my son, but this little, little puddle.

Why are you forcing a communion wafer in my mouth? It's not a communion wafer. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's a zen. Oh, okay. Well, all right. I guess that's a.

You're, in the longevity community, you'd be what's known as a cuck puddle. I don't know what. they're branding people that way. I think that's cruel, but that's what I was and I don't want to be that anymore. I found out that, you know, I've let people walk all over me too much, and part of that is the physicality, but I need to continue the rigid physical and nutritional program that I'm on. And if it, I'm afraid that if I, like, can you, you ever seen a weightlifter? But I've you ever seen Arnold Schwarzenegger lately? Okay. These are two very different questions. Have I seen a weightlifter ever, or have I seen Arnold Schwarzenegger lately? Well, the first one sets up the second one.

Because the first one to know, then we have a lot of, we have a lot of backtracking to do. I have a, I mean, John, you've seen a weightlifter. I've definitely seen a weightlifter, and I've seen Arnold Schwarzenegger late. So yes to both. Right. So a weightlifter after they stop working out looks like a wet bean bag. So you're trying to say that Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a wet beanbag. Oh, absolutely. I don't know if I agree. I think he's looking good for, he's seven or something.

Oh, come on, you brown noser. You're afraid you're going to see him at the SNL after party next week? Yeah, probably. He's a big SNL after party guy. If there's one thing I know about the Schwartz is that he goes late.

Yeah. He hangs out and goes late. Well, the point is, if I don't continue this regimen, my health is engraved. And this is, this is all covered by insurance? It is. it is for me because because of the recent administration

they've allowed certain which if you're diagnosed as a deep beta male which I have been and clinically what is deep beta male is there's a lower level is that like dark mega there's a lower level

there's a lower level this is basement level beta oh yeah deep beta deep beta and clinically unfuckable you can get insurance to revitalize your manhood. And if I don't continue, I'd love to share with you the regimen there, man.

I suppose so. I think we'd all like to hear it just for educational purposes. Maybe this is a regimen that you and I can. John's probably, if he's not on these, then he's, God bless him, because he's got this naturally. Well, listen, I think we could all use some help. Sure, sure. Thank you. Thank you for saying. You know what, hey.

That's what this is all about. Just help. A little concerned, though, is why do you need Scott's help? Because I need to get on his insurance. I see. I see. I'm tracking all this. So he wants me to...

I've appeared in so many medical journals that I'm no longer insurable. You're in the, yes, you're in the column DBCU, deep beta clinically unfuckable, which is the hard right column. Yes. And so you're checking a lot of boxes. Yes. And this is the regimen that you get me out of... This is the regimen to get me out of that beta basement.

Right. And would you be an alpha then or would you, I mean... Oh, yes. Yes. I, to be honest, I'm a little afraid of you becoming an alpha. I think there was a recent episode you were on where you tried to alpha me at one point, and it was very uncomfortable. I think I did a pretty good job. I've been reeling ever since.

Well, that's part of it, I guess, is thinking you did a good job. That's part of being alpha. You know what's the exciting thing about me becoming an alpha? Again, on the weight lifter thing, have you ever seen a buff old man? And how cool they look? Yeah. There's nothing like somebody that's super musly, but also with pattern ball. Yeah, they have an old purse face and then the body of like a young man.

You see them on billboard. That's what I'm going to be. That's what you're looking for. Okay, what is your regimen? What's the regimen? Thank you. Well, the following, again, all prescribed by Dr. Winona Bambini at the clinic. I start out with Athletic Greens, AG1, of course.

Sure. Continue on with ultra-water. Intravenous vitamin drip, ultravenous vitamin sploosh, testosterone. Human growth hormone. Andrew Huberman proprietary metamusole. Scientology grade niacin. Red Bull Enema. Motorcycle vitamins.

Omega three fatty acids. Beta two chubby bubbles. Wet cement capsules. Electricity pellets. I go on a five-hour dopamine gorge cess every day. Creatine. Protein. Nicotine.

Ketamine. liquefied weightlifter magazine. See, there it is again. That's why I asked you. Okay, yeah. Because if you didn't know what they were, then you'd be like, what's the magazine about? Thank you. I do these workouts in physical regimen every day.

How long does that take? Which? All of it. Oh. That's a pretty, just the five-hour dopamine. I wake up at 4.30 a.m. to start the regimen. I finished the regimen at midnight. Wow.

So talk about living to work and working to live. Yeah, really? And somehow I still get eight hours of sleep in there. That's because of the incredible amount of efficiency from this program. And you know what helps? The following workout. You have another list of workout? I would call it a sub list.

It's called it the same. All right. Bullet point. Hypertext. Hypertext. Is that a question? Are you familiar with hypertext? You like hypertext.

Third base had a hypertext man. Yeah, right? I did. Cold plunge. Hot dip. Shake plate. Air bike. Alligator wave pool. Stair climber.

Stair fall downer. Medicine ball. Kettlebells. Silver chairs. Nordic track kidnap machine. Cato from Inspector Cluso robot. David Blaine Ice Block. Escape workout.

Battle ropes. King Kong shoe laces. These supplements for sexual health and overall vitality. That's why I'm able to alpha you. Sure. Okay, this is another sublist, by the way? Sure, yes. Are you going to ask me Hyperlink again?

I think you established you would prefer link. Have you? Well, you might need some of these neurotropics then because of your memory is that faulty already. Oh, brother. All right, what are you taking Bob? Ooh, you know what? You're like me.

Your body's going to start on this regiment, and your body's going to go, fella, you got a lot of spleenin to do. You got a lot of spraining to do. This is the Desi Arnaz. Is that what it is? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Okay. Rhino horn. Tiger penis. Griffin Pussy. Snake piss. Baby blood. Silverback gorilla tummy Tesla pudding

Jake Paul lozenges I do daily Krav Maga with Canadian misogynist Jordan Peterson Bezos yogurt with over 700 trillion very active probiotics Dave Portnoy Nipple Ches charge

I take these advanced cognitive functionoids Yes this is another sublist Wow this is unprecedented This is a lot Listen My list needs some adderol because it is hyper.

Neurogum, true brain, alpha brain, omega brain, Lions mane, Yeti Merkin, Coenzyme Q10, co-enzyme Q-15, co-enzyme, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Ashwaganda mushrooms, Ashkenazi Toadstool, salt jolt. butter coffee donkey lettuce m ms zucchini bone broth turtle eggs antler soup knife spaghetti mammoth chili and karate salad wow that is a complete that and then I meditate oh yeah well sure I get you can understand how I've become addicted to this stuff mentally and physically. And if you deny me this adoption, you're denying me full potential and you're also

contributing to the crisis of masculinity that is ravaging our country. We don't want that. I mean, John, I'm sure you would agree. Of course not. I guess my concern is how have you afforded all of this so far? Again, I'm a test case. It's sort of like, let me see. The current administration is worried that men like him exist and so they're trying to. So they're trying to legislate them out of existence essentially by my, if you could imagine, improving their performance. Dr. Oz, the great man, Dr. Oz. When he would help like a sick child, he'd go to these different cities and help people. You know, there's a part of it reminds me as somebody else. Who, Santa Claus? Going, going around the world helping sick kids. A little guy named Jesus Christ.

I don't know that he went around the world. I think he pretty much stayed in the known world at the time. Yeah. I mean. And how do you know? We worship, were you there? We worship buff Jesus at the clinic. Of course. Although I guess his last, remember that, he came back to life and then like he just flied off into space one day. Yeah. He could have flown to like. He flight off.

He flight off. He could have flown to, let's call it, South America. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's not like there aren't Christians and so. Yeah. Go visit the Incas. Yeah. See what's up.

Yeah. You guys seem to be into gold. Wow. I mean, this is a lot, Bob. A lot, a lot. A lot. Sure. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, how long have you been, how long?

Can I ask just a real pressing question, because it seems like a lot to take into the body are there any side effects are there there are some side effects i i do i will admit to having random rage episodes yeah really that's not like you sort of in the eye which is surprising honestly don't look me in the eye as long as i've known you i'll look you in the chin is that cool sure okay the you notice it's bigger and bolder yeah i mean it didn't it didn't start from a great place so i think maybe that's i take that except that yeah it's terrible it was been a terrible place. I just... My chin was in a dark place, let's be honest. What was her name? Because let's not forget, my chin got... My chin got... Too soon. Too soon. You know how

invested I was in the Creedens Clearwater revival, legal troubles. To see those brothers fighting was just so heartbreaking. Look, Bob, how long before your regimen runs out? Yeah. Midnight. Midnight tonight? I don't know that even if I wanted to adopt. like we're past the point of the return. No, no, no, no. Dr. Bambini knows how to fast track the insurance. You have an adopt EZ form there? Okay.

Well, I mean, it does seem like the right thing to do. Right? Yes. Yeah, I mean, I guess. And he does look marginally better. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I would say like, you know. Now, can I ask also, was the reason you were hiding under the table because you're ashamed

to come to Scott and ask this question? Because it feels like it's coming from a place of. That's coming from a real deep. A real deep beta. That's a deep beta. Yeah. Right. Right.

I guess I see the connection. I think that was a manifestation of the old me. Right. Yes. I see. And you're trying to kill the old you. I want to kill the old. Squash the old and inflate the new.

I would love to see you the new you wrestle with the old you. Oh. Like right now. Yeah. Like Greco Roman just like oily and slippery. Okay. Greco. Oh.

I'm more traditional. W. Look, I don't hear about the traditional wrestling. Like you start, you know, Olympic wrestling. Right. One guy on the, all fours, the other guy behind him. That's what you're more into. Yeah.

Okay. The Greco-Roman, I think, is, uh, it's too, I think it's disrespectful. It's kind of old-fashioned. Mm, I see. Uh, look, uh, I guess I'm at an age where we need to start taking care of our parents. I think that maybe that feels right. It feels like the right thing. Even though while you were married to my mother, we basically had one meeting in passing where.

And we will never forget it, will. But you've been such a big part of the show here over the past 16 years. I mean, you and John, I bet. At least 12-timers, both of us. Yeah, at least 12-timer. Yeah, I mean, you're right on the money, 12-timer, John. Well, sure, but, I mean, you know, it's only one way up from me. By the way, John, John, you are, again, you're dripping with masculinity.

It would do me a great service if you would just give me a little bit of your sweat that I, if I could take it back to the clinic. Yeah, Bob. Yeah, yeah, my goodness. Maybe they could harvest this. You know, here, have a lick. Okay. Oh my god

You pumped up like the incredible hope What are you think of that? That was unexpected That was unexpected This is a whole new you Look at that one peck just really Yeah it's throbbing Bob you better have another lick

I think because you got to get too far I don't want to get too far I don't want to go crazy on it But it was just Life out of balance Life out of balance Yeah Did you say Kwanah Scotsi?

I did yes Good Good Well, Bob, I'll sign off in the papers. Oh, this is a new step for our relationship. I really do feel like it's great. Now, Bob, you have to like, yeah, let's not go. You're going to have to obey me.

Let's not get Poa, Scotty. A little too far over the edge. You're going to have to honor thy father. Yes. Which in this case now, are you my father now? Would be Scott. That's what an adoption is. This is the happiest day of my life.

And I got to say the swolest. Yeah. Thank you. You're going to have to do some chores. around the house. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Feel free to put me to work. You know what? I got to say, Scott, this is going to open up a lot. Open up another

chamber in your heart because you have this, now you have a, you know, you've had a daughter for some time, now you have a son and a and a, and a swole son who can do things like. And my daughter has wanted a brother. I mean, this is, yeah. Oh, this is going to be amazing. He can break down boxes. Yes. He can take out the recycling. Oh, let me out those boxes.

He can trim the hedges. There's so many great things. Are you willing to to scrub bath? rooms like scrub toilets as long as you film it okay i don't it's a weird request i do you have an only fans page i do i do okay it's most it's mostly asmr and changing bandages but i'm sure we can work so there are a lot of toilet stuff too so you know yeah well bob this is a happy day i'm very excited i'm thrilled thank you for coming to me here let me shake your hand oh wow wow bob incredible

God, the grip strength alone. This is a brand new era for Bob Duka. It is. It really is incredible. And again, if you could stop wasting time and get on this, because I can feel myself diminishing. I don't have a few more hours until. Okay. Look, I've signed here.

I saw him. He filled it out online and he just needs the email address. I think it just press send. Press send? No, we got to find it Kinkos. Oh, it's got to go hard copy. Yeah, she only works. I understand.

You definitely want a paper trail, I think, is the idea. Do Kinko still exist? I do. I do know her what is. Why does that not surprise me? All right, look, Bob, we need to take a break. This was lovely. I've got to say, this was really surprising, lovely.

It was really nice, a nice family reunion on Comedy Bang Bang. And I feel bad because, speaking of cleaning toilets, our next guest, I've been keeping them on the line here. We're going to have to take a break and come back with the person who works in custodial services. So, Bob, can you stick around or do you have to immediately go to this regimen? I can see right. All right. We're going to have to talk about your attitude, young man.

We're going to come right back. We're going to have more John Hamm, more Bob Dukkah, and a custodian. We'll be right back with more comedy bang, bang, bang after this. Comedy Bang, bang, bang, we are back. John Hamm is here. The show is your friends and neighbors. And it comes out the day after wet day.

And August 11th, no, April 11th. Friday, dry day. We all know it comes out on Friday, Dry Day. No more needs to be said. We also have my son Bob Dukha is here. Thank you, Dad. X stepfather, current son. Current son.

Yes. Now, I noticed that you were eating during the break and you left a little bit of a mess on the table. And I'm afraid that's a spanking, Bob. Okay. Don't make me come to you. Come over here. Okay. All right.

Here we go. Ready? One. Two. Is that all you got? Give it to me good. Give it to me. Come on, you baby.

Come on, spake me like a man. One for each appearance on the show, 19. Oh, boy, that really took it out of me. Honestly, that's harder on me than it is you. Absolutely. You can tell. Physical exertion. Yeah, you can tell.

Scott's worked up a latherer. Yeah, that's actually a pretty good workout, too. It brings a lot of blood to the different parts. Yeah, that's why I've always said, is spanking your children. It's a great workout. It's a great workout. Yeah.

Well, we have to get to our next guest. He's the aforementioned person who works in custodial services. Let's welcome him back to the show. It's Mike, the no stank plumber. How you doing, Scott? Hi, Mike. It's great to see you. I'm doing good.

How are you? Have you ever met to John Hamm? Oh, Mr. Hamm, how are you? We have not met, but it's great not to smell you. I've done some work in your backhouse, of course. Thank you. We haven't met, but I've met some of the people. And you've seen his ads around the bill.

Oh, yeah. No stank. Oh, yeah, of course. I am, of course, Mike Ruby, the no stank. plumber, I guarantee there will be no stank when I come and do plumbing in your house. What about after you leave? Do you guarantee anything? That I can't be a part. Like I try. That's normally the problem. I talk to some of my lawyers. I talked to some of my lawyers that I said like, can I guarantee after? It's the linger. It's the linger. The cranberry rule.

But they said no, that if it lingers, that's not my problem. If it's lingers, they can't point fingers. It's merely what you do and we, this was all well covered on your first appearance on the show, is when you come. Yeah. As opposed to most of the plumbers that you'll hire to come work on your house. They stink personally. They smell like shit. They just like. Covered and shit.

They're covered in shit. Their ass cracks are out. They're wearing dirty overalls. It's nasty. But this guy, M-O-S. No stink, Scott. But I, Scott, I, as you know, plumbers have been under fire. I did not know that.

Oh, you didn't know that. No, I have not heard about that. The last plumber I heard about was that Joe the plumber guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Doge was really going after the plumber. plumbers too. Yeah. Oh, really? I'm not too worried about Doge. They could cut as much funding from the plumbing department as they want, but they're still going to be clogged toilets. They're still going to be shit. That's a great, that's a great attitude. But no, Scott, there is a serial killer

that has been targeting plumbers around the city. Wow. That's right, Scott. I haven't heard about you. You haven't heard about this? It's the number one headline in all the newspapers. How do they rank headlines? I think it's the one that's on the front page. So whatever makes the front page top. Whatever's on the front page. Above the fold. Second page. Second page, you're number two. Okay.

Well, number two sounds like the guy that you might be looking for, right? Is that confusing to people? I don't like those kind of jokes. This is number one headline. Scott, this is serious. I'm talking about my dead brothers. Fair enough.

Listen, you know, sometimes when you get scared, you just make me, you try to laugh. We're nervous right now because we're nervous for you. I'm nervous. I'm terrified for you. And you're brethren. Hundreds of plumbers have been brutally murdered around the city. In what manner?

Well, Scott, I can, I'm here to raise awareness, Scott. Okay, well, we'll raise awareness by answering my fucking question. All right. I will. There you go. I will raise a, I really will.

This is my son, Bob, Dukkah. Hi, Bob. How are you? I'm well. All right, Scott. Well, the following list.

What? Oh, boy. This is a real list show. Listic. The following list, of course, Scott is of all the plumbers who have died in the city

of Los Angeles and their cause of death. Just to raise awareness, see if there are any clues out there. If people can figure this out. All right. Of course, Scott, my good friend toilet tank Hank no not TTIH

he was thrown from a train right outside of Los Alamos just like Mama yeah that's what everyone likes to say it's a fun joke oh they threw him from the train like mama how do you know he was thrown from a train not just like you know fell off a train yeah oh well you know the the FBI

was out there they did some sort of forensic it was a federal crime it was federal because the train proximity to Los Alamos the train was just passing the California post office post office so that it was of course a federal crime. I love California's post office.

That one post office that the whole state was. It's really beautiful, but unfortunately, toilet tank Hank died. Oh, no. Shame. Of course, Dante from AAA plumbers that Dante is spelled D-A-N-T-A.

Okay. I don't care, but okay. It's important. Because people need to know, you know, if you're going to be looking for clues, what are you going to put on the card? the obituary. Of course, his hand gliding.

I don't know that I'm reading Dante's obituary. You don't read all the obituaries in the early times every night? It's fascinating to me, the people who I posted an obituary about a year ago, and that it gained some notice, and people reached out because of it. Who are reading these things? A lot of people right before bed like to pull out the newspaper, go to the obiturates. I might be coming to join you. Wow.

They call them bitchers. Bitchers. Of course Dante from AAA plumbing We want a bitcher, not a belly itcher. Sorry to interrupt your list. Go ahead. This is very important, Scott. I'm so... Dante.

Sorry. Dante. Oh, he's the same Dante? Yeah, he's the same Dante. We never got to his means of... His COD. His hang glider was sabotaged above the magic castle, Scott.

He fell through the building and fucked up a magic trick, Scott. Wait, so they sabotaged his hang glider while it was in the air above the magic castle. I'm not sure how it was done, Scott. I'm gonna guess drones. I think they've, I think drones are involved. We have looked into some drone stuff, but we haven't found any evidence, Scott.

I'm working very directly with the police. So not only did he ruin this man's life, literally. And his hang glider. Yeah, three things ruined. Life hang glider and a magic trick. Did people assume it was part of the magic trick? A lot of people were like, oh, this is fun. One of those fake messing up.

This dead body is going to come to life and pull an ace out of his pocket. That did not happen, Scott. Is this your card? That didn't happen. No. By the way, John just did pull out a card. It was my card. That was really crazy.

He hadn't even pulled a card, but it happened to be his... It was the 12 of Spades. It says the property of Scott. Oh, my God. I didn't, yeah, I didn't know what card it was. Did you see that? His testosterone levels plummeted when he started doing close-hand magic. Yeah, you got to be careful with this.

You got to be careful. We have a meter on him right now. Just to check him. It's a trick. A T-meter. Of course, Peter Pipe's plumbing professional. Oh, no. I've seen his billboards.

Yes, he'll plunge your pooper. he goes right to the source he goes right to the source so not so much the plumbing but the interior plumbing he likes to come to your butthole and do some preemptive stuff so that and this guy too no stank well he that doesn't not something he

you're the only no stank okay there's some other no stank plumbers but he he's he's all about being a plumbing professional of course his macho was slowly poisoned with leather condition over a period of eight months phantom thread style yeah that's got to be an inside job it drove him mad scott

Did he die? Or he's just been driven mad? It drove him mad. He was running up and down the streets of Franklin Boulevard here in Los Angeles, and he was hit by Danny Masterson's cars. What? Wow. Now,

was Danny Masterson... He clearly wasn't driving. Yeah, I don't think he was driving. No, I think it was his... Someone had borrowed his car, and they were driving from the... If I was going away to the big house, I'd load my car out. We let it to whoever doesn't matter. He's not driving that thing.

What's he doing with a Chevy Volt at this point? Yeah. Of course, sent free Robert. You have to sigh before every entry? I know it's sad. We can stipulate it's sad. I'm trying not to cry while I read these. How far apart are these deaths?

A couple of them were in the same day. Oh, God. Oh, wow. Same day is. So it really is. Yeah, the same day. This is almost like John Ham's appearances on comedy bang bang. It's insane.

Right close for a while and then the years will get a pot. Of course. God damn. This is really like, try to pep this up. Okay. The heavy sighing. Sent free. gentry.

What? Sent free Robert Gentry. I can only imagine there was a bit of competition between you too. Yeah, we were,

we all of course, competitors, but we learned to become brothers. Wow. He was trapped. Damn it. Now that I

have become attuned to it, it is bugging me to know it. I'll try. I get that you're sad. I'll try to size, Scott.

But I've just been crying for weeks and weeks. I know this is your way into what's happening, too. A lot like this other guy knows his way of saying Scott is his way in. Anyway, go ahead. Sometimes you need to ground yourself, Scott. I understand.

Well, sent free Robert Gentry was strapped to a water mill and slowly drowned over a period of eight months. That is a small one. Did you say a watermelon? No, a water mill. So he went round and around. He went. Oh. Because being strapped to a watermelon.

Probably not going to drown you. That'd be pretty fun, to be honest. And honestly, it's not that different from being. being pregnant from what I hear. Or just carrying a watermelon. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that would be fun. Drop a watermelon to your stomach and pretend you're pregnant.

Yeah, I think that's the new Amy Schumer movie. Isn't it? I don't know whether there's a watermelon. It sounds like a great movie. Yeah. But Scott, I won't sigh before I say, Jake Alcott, the human ball cock. The human ball what?

Ballcock. A ballcock, Scott. It's a plumbing. It's a plumbing reference. It's the inflatable ball that's in the top of your toilet tank to... Is it weird? that like... It's a ballcock.

All right. Come on. Hey, young man. I'm sorry. I'm not going to say this. I would say that too. Don't sask me. Watch your tone.

Isn't it insane though that like we've invented so many things like iPhones exist and everything and there's still like an inflatable ball in our toilet? Well, you know, Scott, it's it is absolutely a part of my profession and I take what you just say personally. Take your part. But of course the human ballcock, he, uh, someone cut his brakes and he was driving and barreled straight into a fireworks. factory, Scott. That's tough.

That is really tough. I wonder if they knew that that would happen. Yeah, yeah. None of the fireworks went off. Oh, okay. But it just crashed into a wall. He just crashed into a wall, died with through his witch. Terrible. Hell, I'm siding. And you know what? And the saddest part about it is he loved fireworks. He would have loved for some to go off.

But no, he just like crashed into the wall. He's staring at unlit fireworks. Brain all over the place. Wow. Somebody cut. And somebody cut his break, Scott. So we're thinking maybe this is a, this is all the same person. I think they're all connected.

Yeah, yeah. Because there is a note being left at the scene of every girl. Oh, you didn't say that. Oh, I haven't talked about that? No, what's the note? There's a note that says death to all plumbers. You started the Los Angeles fires. Each notes says that?

Each notes, it kind of says that exactly right. It seems like a real missed opportunity for such a creative serial killer. Or maybe this is someone who's been to with Kinkos recently. Oh, they just wrote it once and then made a bunch of copies of it. Yeah, I'm looking at you, but... Let's go to Century City. I mean city of industry That's where the king of the century

Century City of Industry Frankie flush May he rest in peace Was a previous guest on your show Scott Is he the one that got embarrassed a lot Frankie flushes Constantly blushing He was lured to medieval times

With a story about an unpungible toilet Legend said that you could plunge the unplungible pipes And be made king of all shit and piss It was a ruse and he was put to the wrench. The wrench? Yeah, he was put to the wrench. What does that mean?

That's in the stockades? Yeah, it's kind of a sort of, you know. Medieval torture device? Yeah, it's like they lay him down, they put his head on a thing, leaning over, then they put a wrench around his neck and they just wrench it around to the pops up. Yikes.

This is terrible. Really tough stuff. Of course, Punani, the Porcelain Princess. She was drowned. Driving through a car wash, Scott. No. That's right. Oh, how did they do it?

She left her window slightly open? The convertible was set to open in the car wash. No. It was on a timer? It was on a timer. And of course, all those little flappy dryer things slapped her in the face until she died.

Oh, that's how she died. Yeah. Okay, so it wasn't drowning. Wasn't drowning. Well, that's,

you know what? I did say she drowned. That's not correct. That was what the police first thought. She's got slapped by the flappy things. Yeah, the story keeps changing. Poor punani,

I must say. The size or not? The size is coming in? The size is hard. Of course. Little turd, the canine mascot for the clog dogs was drawn in quarters.

You don't know little turd, Scott? They have a mascot? He's the canine mascot to the clog dogs. Okay, I don't even, no further questions, just keep going. You don't want me to get it? Overruled. I want to hear this. Of course, he was a little dog covered in shit

and he would pop out of a toilet and he said, I unclogged it and I'm a dog. It was a bad commercial. Yeah, this doesn't It was a bad commercial, but no, he was drawn and quartered and cooked up to look like a rotissory chicken. No. And then Michael Klugowski, of course, the owner of Clogs and dogs ate his own dog and didn't even know it.

No. That's rough. It's really tough stuff, Scott. What did you think he was eating? A rotissory chicken. Oh, it's the same, okay. Yeah, it looked exactly like a rotissary chicken. I mean, I can see the resemblance, I guess so, yeah, cut off the bed.

Except the covered in shit part, might be. The covered in shit, that was tough. Joe and Jill dump rug The husband and wife Owners of Flush Flush Give Me Yo Yo They of course Clean people's toilets And only charged

Charge people with For I'm sorry Scott What are you talking about? They would clean someone's toilet They would clean their toilet And then they would say hey please We only accept yo-yo's or yayo

So either Yeo which is pot no, yayo is cocaine. Oh, it's cocaine. I'm sorry. That's right. First you get the money. Then you get the power.

Then you get the power. Then you get the women. Then you get the Yale. And that's only if you have the yayo. Okay, got it, got it, got, got. I forgot this stuff. Like that famous Cuban actor, Robert Loja. Oh, that's right.

One said. Of course this husband. God damn it, stop with the sign. Try to say these cheerfully. He might be, maybe the serial killer got to you. I got to try to slowly. And I'm new to a lot of this. A lot of this.

Not new to this, but I'm new to this. Yes. You know an awful lot about these murders. Oh, well, I'm working very closely with the police of the FBI, John. Are you thinking that I somehow am responsible for this? I think it's taking out all of your competition. Right? And the first person they look at, somebody close to everybody.

That's right. Someone close. That's not the case. I don't know. When you say a war, I think, Scott, Bob, I think I'm looking at a guy with a lot of information. And I'm starting to smell something. Do you think I... Not so fresh.

Yeah, you're the no stank plumber and suddenly we smell a rat. Do you think I killed Joe and Jill plunging them to death? They didn't get up that hill by themselves. How do you know about the hill? Because I didn't say anything about the hill, Mr. Hamm. I believe... Wait a minute. How do you know how do you know he didn't know about the hill?

I think we all know that Joe and Jill have to go up that hill to fetch that pail of water that they need to unclog the toilet. Yes. Come on. sigh. Brad and Barry the Bada boys, of course. They were drugged and woke up. So you're now saying in the middle.

Yeah, sometimes it's hard. They were both drugged and woke up in a bank with guns duct taped to their arms. And after a long standoff with the police, they were shot and killed by the negotiators. And that. The negotiators shot them? I'm tired of talking. He's terrible. He's terrible at a job.

That's badass. It's tough stuff. It's bad negotiating. is what it is. Here's my final offer. Hours and hours of building of trust. My first and final offer. Here's your pizza.

Here's your ex-wife. Here's your ticket to hell. I'm glad you guys could joke about this. It's very funny for you. And of course, we're trying to do something to pep up this segment which is just being laden down

by all of your sighing. I could still hear. And of course, Thor, the God of Plunger. Winters are steaming up in here with all these signs. Thor, the God of Plunderer was shot in the head, Point Blake, Oh, okay. That's not as bad as the other ones. No, I mean, that's not as bad. Thank goodness. That's a quick death. That's quick, yeah. Yeah. Oh, so you like shooting people in the head. Is that right, Scott? Does he wear a helmet with little wings on it? Yeah, really, yeah. Or does that have little plungers on it? They have little plungers on it. That makes sense. So Scott, you know, we're under fire right now, Scott. This is terrible. Do you think you're next? Well, I know I'm next. I'm the only plumber left in the city of Los Angeles, Scott. Oh, I wondered, because I've had a clogged toilet for like the last three weeks. Well, so. I'm

Scott, I'm out here. I'm persevering. I'm in the face of fear. I'm continuing to do my job, Scott. And of course, I'm going through my 11-step process of cleaning anyone's doing. Did you bring another list? The following. Can you, can you, can you, I'll let you read the list.

I don't have to sigh through this one. Okay. This one is not a sad. So this one you can do cheerfully. Can I interject here? Yeah, yeah. If everybody else dead, your business must be booming. It is booming.

I'm doing very well. I'm very scared. I'd also like to offer the observation that maybe this guy leaving these notes is not, is on to something because ever since all these deaths have been happening, no fires. That's exactly what I think plumbers caused the fire. I think there was something to do with like the water pressure and the palisades. I don't remember, but it was not. Scott, of course. I know Billy Joel.

He didn't. He didn't start the fire. And he made that clear years and years ago. Yeah, yeah. He got way out ahead of it. Airtight alibi. You know what? I'm going to make a song that's like, I didn't kill that guy.

Yeah. If OJ had done that. Oh, if he had had a, like, fun disco hit me 80s. I didn't kill a waiter. Well, Scott, you know, of course I have an 11-step process of cleaning anyone's toilet. And I've had to make some changes based on the... That's right. We've read these 11 steps before, but you've made some changes down.

Of course, step one, Scott, received the call. That one is not changed. It has changed slightly because when I pick up the phone call, I pretend to be someone else until I'm sure it's a customer. Oh, okay. And not the murderer. And not the murder. Before you used to do it, Lady Ghostbusters style, you would answer the call. Answer the call and I'm ready to go.

But now I pick up the phone and I'm like, hello, it's me, murder. And I kind of do a whole thing. I wait. This is good. So you do a little character work. I do a little character work. Always fun. They hire me.

They tell me that they need to have the toilet clean. Now, of course, step two, I proudly take a shower, Scott. Yes. Proudly. Proudly. This is in order to wash off any stank. I don't want to be stinking. My guarantee is very important to me.

But now, with a serious. kill out there. I do stand in the shower with a dead man switch. And if anyone opens my shower curtain like in the movie psycho, I will let it go and my house will blow up. I mean, better safe than sorry. Yeah. I've worked on it. I mean, it's the best way to take a shower these days. So I do have a dead man switch. You have a spouse or? No, no. Okay. No, I live alone. Now, of course, step three, I drive to the house. Okay. Now, on my way. By the way, John. And, and And Bob, his 11 steps go very into detail. Okay.

So it's like, we're not leaving any step. Okay. Well, I mean, listen, I'm glad. I'm very glad that it's. I think you should consider hypertext. Sure. That's not a bad idea. So, of course, I drive to the house.

I make a lot of left turns, right turns. Trying to lose anyone who might be right soon. Shake the tail. And let me tell you what. If you were to, if you were able to like pull me off the road and try to pull me out of the car, guess what? I'm not in there. I was in another car. You're in a decoy.

That's right. So I do send a decoy. And it's a very long. It's not an official step. It's a substep. Is it like a Waymo? It is a Waymo. It's a driverless car.

Smart. Waymo, by the way, is doing such wonders for decoys. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's the best. It's Waymo. You don't have to hire a guy. No, you just put a dummy in the front of a Waymo. Yeah.

Waymo easier than that. It's waymo. That's really good. You should do commercial. You got to do a commercial for them and then you'll get a free ride somewhere. Now, of course, step four, I get out of the car. Now, this is a big step, Scott. Huge.

It's a big step. I didn't hear you park or try. turn off. No, no, no. I get out of the car. Car still rolling. Car still rolling. I slow it down to a roll. That's not a step. Okay, it's not a step. But I tuck and I just jump. I roll out of the car. And then now with the serial kill out there, I get up, I announce myself to the name of hood. I say, hey, it's me. It's Mike Ruby. I'm here. I'm ready to do some plumbing. I sound off a bear horn a little bit just to get people's attention. Sure. And, you know, that step has been, you know, it's similar, but a little. bit different, Scott. Sure. I don't recall what the other steps were.

No, you don't remember upon arrival? Nope. I ask the people to point me in the direction of the stand guy. That's right. Okay. I do that. But now, Scott, before I do that, I make sure that they sign an NDA. Okay.

So this is what step? This is step five. I'm inside the house. They sign an NDA. Okay. And I say, hey, you can't say anything about the work I'm doing in this house. You can't even say that I did plumbing on your house. Because you don't want anyone tracking your assassination coordinates.

I mean, look, I don't. did announce myself outside the house. But now that I'm inside, seems counterinteching. I don't want anyone to know what's going on. Got it. Now, of course, step six, once they've pointed me in the direction of the stank,

wait, so you've eliminated that step? No, no, no. That is the step. They sign an NDA and then they point me in the direction. This is two steps. And you can't follow your nose to the stank? You need to be.

Now, like I said, step six, this has always been the case. I float off the ground like Peppa Lapew, and I do follow my nose. Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

but before I make my way to the bathroom I do pull out my gun and I sweep the house so you're levitating I'm levitating and you're sweeping that I'm holding a gun I'm peeking around corners I'm going clear clear you know that kind of thing I'm shooting out any windows so people can't see this is all pepe lepue style this is all pepe lepue style and it's for my own safety now since you are levitating when you shoot the windows up does that does the equal and opposite reaction says you got to push back a lot of times I'll shoot and I'll just go

whee and just go right out the front door. It's very hard, but I have to do it. It's the only way to keep myself safe. That's fair. That's fair. Okay. Now, of course, step seven, I'm in the bathroom. I will lock myself into the bathroom, Scott. Okay.

This is where I close my eyes and take a load off because I'm safe, Scott. You're finally in your happy place. I can finally relax. Yes. So, of course, this is my meditation step. Have you cleared the bathroom, though, at this point? No, no, no. I don't even want to see what's in there.

So my eyes are closed when I walk in. So someone could be in the bathtub behind the curtain. This is really good. Let me write this down. That's right. It would not be where you go. I would, here's how I would do it. I would look in, you know, I would, I would wash my hands because obviously you were getting ready to do something.

Okay. How dare you? And you would look in the bathroom mirror. You would open the mirror just to check and see if there's anything in there. See it's a false front. You never know. Yeah. You got to see.

There could be like a big, there could be a candy man style hole in, you know, behind the mirror. Exactly. Or the guy. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Someone hiding in the walls, you know, what's that guy's name? Like a guy's name.

Yeah. Who hitting the walls in that one movie? Matt Ronald? Thank you, Bob. I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's Kool-Aid, man. You never know somebody to come through a wall. Exactly. Boy, when you close that, you close that medicine cabinet mirror, watch out. Because there's usually someone behind.

Usually someone's right, the little jump scare. This is why I don't touch the medicine cabinet mirror. It gives us a killer an opportunity to sneak up behind you. Jumps. So I don't do that. Of course, I shoot out the mirror so that there are no mirrors about. Okay. Do my meditation. Now, of course, step eight, classic, Scott.

I will disassociate. Yes, of course. Because the, the idea of shit and piss is so disgusting to be. And in order for me to clean it, I have to be in a complete fugue state. Sure. So I disassociate. Step nine, I hit my head on the sink. Right.

Before you've cleaned it, I can't remember. No, no, no, I haven't cleaned anything. You haven't cleaned anything. You're in the fugue state. You hit your head on the sink. Is this because you've lost consciousness or is some place? I have lost consciousness. The blood has rushed away from my brain.

Right. I hit my head on the sink. Step 10. I wake up and hope the bathroom is clean. Right. And if it's not... If it's not, step 11, I burn the house to the ground. Right. Yes. This is the Mike Ruby promise.

Wait, I burn the house to the ground. Hmm. Maybe I did start the California fires. I was going to say, because you've talked about burning so many houses down to the ground. Yeah, I do a lot of work in the Pacific Palisades and Altadena. Why those two neighborhoods exclusively? They're so far apart. The pipes are nasty. The pipes are nasty of these places. Oh, they have bad pipes.

They have bad pipes. I've heard that about the palisades. Oh, they got bad pipes. Palisades, rough pipes. Rough pipes. So I guess I might be responsible for the, huh? So all of... Anyways, that those are my alleged.

Anyway, wait a minute. This was hundreds of millions of dollars in damage and lives ruined. Don't beat yourself up. Thank you, Bob. Don't be, come on. I don't want to... I mean, yes, we all make mistakes. We all make mistakes.

We all make mistakes. That doesn't mean I should be the target of a serial killer, Scott. It also seems like a lot of your contemporaries are dying. when it's your fault. That can't be traced. Well, no, when you think about it. It could be. You just said it on Mike as well.

You admitted it. Oh my God, he admitted it. He did start the fire. Yes. It wasn't always burning. Well, this is really tough. All right. Every single line in that is the opposite.

He did stuff. For me. Yeah. So what are the lyrics? It wasn't always burning. I know Marilyn Monroe is in there, but I don't know what the opposite of that is. What's the opposite of Chubby Checker? Skinny chest

Oh my god There's got to be a singer Name skinny chest That'd be really good Scott well you know Damn I Well I'm sorry that's happening to my fellow plumbers out there But yeah

It should be happening to you Honestly I think you should go to the media As they said in the movie Arthur Alert the media You think I should alert the media Scott? I do Take the heat off your fellow plumbers

I've got so many plumbing appointments I don't know if I can do that Scott I guess you are sitting pretty here. I'm sitting pretty. I've got a throne made of gold. And that throne is of course a toilet. Of course. This is tough, Scott. So now you're sighing.

Well, now I'm out of exasperation. These are sighs of regret. Yeah. Because I've realized I put my fellow, my fellow plumber in danger, Scott. Well, not anymore. They're dead. They're out of danger. You're worried I have one emotional state.

And it's just sighing. Oh, my God. You should see me what I'm jerking off. I have a question. I have a question. Yes, Bob. Is there shit and piss in plumber heaven? Oh, God, I really hope so, Scott.

You know, of course, I'm a... This is Bob. Who? Oh, Bob. My son. I thought he was Scott Jr. Papa, let him answer me, please. Bob.

I need my independence, man. I really hope there is, of course. I'm a plumber Catholic, of course. What does that mean? I believe in the Holy Trinity, Scott. Shit, piss, and puke. And I'm really hoping that those three things are there to greet me at the oily gates.

And gosh, but you know what? I don't want to die. So I'm not trying to think about that thing. I'm trying to live. You might not. And in fact, I bet all four of us never do. I think just because having gone through this, that grants us limited immortality.

Yeah, I think so. You did a good thing today. Yeah. Oh, and I'm at the clinic. I'm going to get as close to immortality. He's got some medical. A couple of lists that he could probably go through to tell you how to achieve a mortality.

And you have a TV show coming out. I've got a show coming out, so I can't die. I just can't. The premiere, you have SNL. And this is the only plumber left. I can't be killed because if I, if that does happen, the streets of L.A. will just be, I hate to say it's got covenant shit. Wow.

Overflowing. Well, look, Mike, I'm sure nothing's going to happen to you before the end of the show. And whoever has been Xeroxing these notes at the Kinkos is probably not going to come in here and do anything. I really hope that's out. And this certainly wasn't an elaborate trap. No, the doors are locked, right? I don't know. Yeah, maybe.

But never lock. We are running out of time. We really only have time for one final feature on the show. And that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Everybody enjoying. With the fart noise. What's going on? That's delivered.

That delivered. That was Plog Rock by Dan Tastique. Thank you to Dan Tastique. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs. You can upload it there and you can be famous for a week. And Dan Tastique, you are famous for a week. Absolutely. What are we plug in here?

John, obviously. You have a show coming out. I have a show coming out. The day after wet day, Friday, Friday. It's called Your Friends and Neighbors. April 11th. Apple TV Plus first two episodes dropping. then one a week.

Until they're done. How many are we talking? Nine in season one. We'll be commencing shooting season two the following week. It's very exciting. It's shot in New York, New York, upstate New York.

Wow. The luxury oozes off the screen. Why only nine here? Like if you... Yeah, because you could go eight. To get to 93 in Maddena, you're going to have to do 10 and a half years of this? Hey, your lips to God's ear, Scott.

That would be nice, wouldn't it? Yes, indeed. Thank you very much. I'm going, though. Listen, I'm not going anywhere. hate to lose our LA actors. We like them here, right here in our hometown. But if you have to move to New York for a little while for a TV show,

Hey, you know what they shoot here in Los Angeles, Scott? A little show called The Morning Show. Hey. Why can't two things be true? Oh, man. I think it's a pretty big show. Like Colossus, I straddled the country one foot on either coast. All right.

Bob, Duka, do you have anything you want to plug? I want to plug an appearance on one of those Turkish. hair transplant planes. Sure. Plug some plugs and plugs. Plug some plugs. Okay. And also,

me and my, me and my papa are going to a baseball game. I don't know that I have time. Santa Monica boardwalk. Fly all the way out to the boat. We're going to go to a monster truck rally. All right.

I'm slightly interested in that. And we're going to, we're going to learn to swim. You don't know how to swim or I don't know how to swim? I don't know how to swim. Do you know how to swim? I don't know how to swim either. We can both just kind of flail around if you want.

Okay. Okay, great. Nothing else to plug? Oh, I'll plug. I'll plug my friend show, Dinosaur at Largo at the Coronet once a month. Sure. Is there a podcast maybe that you might want to? Sure.

It's called College Town. I was getting there. I'm getting there. Come on, Dad. If you don't plug your podcast, you're going to get a spanking, young man. Fine. It's all college town is on comedy, bang, bang world. Are you happy now?

Yes, I'm happy. Go straight up to your room. I'm getting my belly button. Hell no. Mike Ruby, anything you want to plug? Well, of course, I'll be singing Man and Me by Bob Dylan at Punani, the Porcelain Princess's funeral. Oh, okay.

This Sunday. Yeah. Of course, I listen to. It's the least I could do. It's the least I could do. I listen to this podcast called Scott Hasn't Seen. Oh, yeah, I'm on that. You listen.

That's me. Oh, that's you. You're the Scott. Interesting. Yeah, we watch movies. Is it about. keys and sunglasses and stuff? No, it's not about finding the things I've misplaced.

So you're a deranged human being, is that right? Yes, and we, by the way, just wrapped up month-month. That was really clever. Yeah, where every movie that we watched had a month in the title. Yeah. And, of course, it was difficult for the hosts to figure out which movies to do, but... We finally figured out March of the Penguins at the end, and we were very happy. A little bit of a stretch, but hey, guess what? It takes place over a month. That's right, yeah.

And, you know, I've got a... More like four. I pledge the toilet of this really funny improviser name, Sean Diston. He does this show at UCB third month, third Wednesday of the month. It's called Two is the Magic Number with Devin Field. You can buy live stream tickets for that at UCB Theater.com. Oh, yeah, they just did one maybe a couple weeks ago. So you don't even have to go.

You don't even have to go. You don't have to stand in line. You don't just breathe other people's there. Sit there in your own house and jerk it off while you watch it. If you want to watch it. This guy, Sean Distant, improvised A jerk off while you do it. He's all for it. He wants this. He actually likes that.

Hey, that camera don't go both ways. But that's it, Scott. That's all the cut. All right. I want to plug, hey, we mentioned College Town over on CBB World. We have so many great shows. We mentioned Scott hasn't seen. We also have the neighborhood listen over there. We have CBB presents like, hey, Randy. Bob, you had a show on there for a while and you keep threatening to come out with another episode for now a year and a half. I would love to.

It's not in my hands. It's not in your, whose hands could they possibly be in? The editor. Oh. So everything's recorded? Yes. Oh, okay. Well, maybe that'll come out very soon then.

You never want to blame below the line. Yeah, come on. I'm better than that. Yeah, you are. It's a poor craftsman that's not an alpha move. I got to be honest. Did you see the way he was looking at me, though? Yeah, disappointed.

Disappointed. No, I get it. But we have so many great shows over there, plus the entire archive of comedy bang, bang, every single episode we've ever recorded. All, nine hundred. That's right. As well as every live episode we've ever done, hundreds of those. Do you sell any funny t-shirts? Yeah, we have a great t-shirt that Jack Quaid and my co-host of Scott hasn't seen Sprague Whistper.

Yeah, Dennis's Boy? Yeah, we all came up with a t-shirt that has Godzilla on it holding a pizza, and it says green things like me, like round things like this. And this is a shirt that has unprecedented engagement with a weird. Weirdly enough is the most popular thing I've ever been involved with. People are taking pictures of it like Anquo Wad all over the world And said, I brought my shirt to Thailand In a weird way It's really crazy

Anyway, you can get all of that over at CBB World. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Open the black bag with me, dude. Open the plug back with me, dude. Just please don't close it and be rude. Please don't close it and be rude. You got it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Thank you. All right with me, All right. Thank you. Please don't close it and be. All right. That was Open the Plug Back with me, dude, by William Byrne.

Thanks to William Byrne. And guys, I want to thank everyone here at this table. John, always great to have you. Thank you for having me. Your 12th appearance. The Dirty Does. I love that. And good luck with the show.

Thank you. And many hamburgers to you as well. Thank you very for the hamburgers. And Bob... Hey, Pop. Can I borrow the keys to the car? No, you can't. Me and some of my bros are going to go hang out by the quarry.

Okay, no. Come on. No, Bob. We'll be talking about your privileges as soon as the show was over. And then Mike Ruby, I'm so sorry to hear that you're the target of... I'm trying not to sigh. Some deranged lunatic who hangs out at a kinko's all the time. I just got word.

Oh, God. What's going on? My good friend, no stench, Wayne Wrench, was folded up in a suitcase and mailed to Abu Dhabi, Scott. Top Secret style? He was killed top secret style.

That'd be expensive to mail a suitcase. It was very expensive. I'm glad you guys are having fun with this. It's just kind of the hardest time of my life right now. Did it, when it got there, did it have like a bunch of buck's bungee, steamer trunk stickers. It had gone through Albuquerque.

gone through many stocks. Wow. But it's fine. I'm still alive, Scott, and I will live forever, and that's not going to change. Sure. Yeah, of course.

Assuming that this entire podcast wasn't a trap for a deranged lunatic to. Emnight Shyamalan. What the hell is that the window? Who's at the window? Who let him night Shammelon in here? Oh, no.

Ah! His daughter's singing, and it's pretty good. All right. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Yip.

Mama, ma, ma, ma. Yeah.