Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Tatiana Maslany, Kristian Bruun, Paul F. Tompkins, Vic Michaelis

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Returning champs Tatiana Maslany and Kristian Bruun join Scott to talk about the upcoming horror film The Monkey, She-Hulk being cut out of Deadpool & Wolverine, and the process of filming sex scenes. Then, Dr. Bill Blondie stops by to talk about becoming a Malt Shop owner, performing foot surgery on Scott, and The Music Man. Plus, Marvel executive Luzi Brockheimer drops by to talk about upcoming Marvel projects.Get tickets for the Comedy Bang! Bang! Into Your Mouth Tour 2024 over at https://CBBWorld.com/tour Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

["Comedy Bang Bang"] Hate to see you go, love to see you walk the plank. Comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang. Hate to see you go, love to see you walk the plank. Arga, I'm a pirate and your ass is incredible. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Hot Topic, Hot Pocket Popsocket for that catchphrase submission. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. They both met on the set of a show called Orphan Black

many years ago. Both. Both. They met each other on the set of a show called Orphan Black many years ago. Both. Both. They met each other on that set. She went on to acclaim, winning the Emmy Award, becoming part of the HBO private detective verse. As well as the MCU. He went on to portray Constable Johnstable.

I did that before. And then at the same time as Orphan Black. God damn it. You were on another show at the same time as Orphan Black? Yeah. He was also the creepy doctor in the Handmaid's Tale. Hey, Shimee.

You're back too. Gotta go. Okay, see you, Shimee. She ended up canceling last week's show with The Last Minute. Okay. He did not. Showed up.

But she said, I wanna, I wanna make good. I wanna make good on this. Put me back in, coach. Stars are back. Oh, come on! God damn it. Please welcome back to the show Tatiana Maslany and Christian Brun.

Hello! Yay! Thrilling. Thrilling, thrilling. We are gathered here today because, Tat, you texted me after you unceremoniously backed out of doing the show last week. Dumped you even. Just dumped.

You also dumped me, yes. Yeah. And then I screened your calls. I was like, I don't think we were dating. But you said, how did it go? And that unleashed the floodgates. You said, so good. It was so fun. I said, it was so fun.

And I admitted that I talked shit about you a lot. And that got your dander up and you said you had to come in here and refute all of my comments. Yeah, I started flaking hard. So much dander. I called my lawyer and said, is there a way that I could have you on the show as well

to negate the slander? Okay, and where's your lawyer now? He was undisposed. Undisposed, that's worse than indisp now? He was undisposed. Undisposed. That's worse than indisposed. He's been disposed of. Oh, okay. He said he doesn't like podcasts. So much so that he died and...

He killed, yeah, he jumped, man. He jumped. Well, in any case, it's great to have you back. We talked last week about how you backed out right before the show, and that's about the fourth time you've done that. Huh? Huh-huh.

Huh? Huh? Is that t-t-true? I remember a recent one where the Freedom Gang had to be the A-block guests because you backed out at the last minute. Why did I back... Oh, because I had a nose infection. A nose infection? Or an ear infection. I had some kind of infection.

But hey, here's the thing. I just got a procedure done where they go in with a little rod into your nose and they crack open all the cartilage audibly and now supposedly I'm gonna be okay forever. Forever! You're never gonna die. Are you sure they're not gonna make you a mummy? That's the other option either that hey shimmy Yeah, they take everything out with forceps through the nose Yeah, it's crazy. Are you okay? Oh god mummies although very timely for Halloween Yeah, I rest in peace. I wonder what shimmy's gonna be for Halloween. God forgot to ask him Well, we'll just see if he comes back

Jimmy what are you gonna be for Halloween? I'll go be a record album. Okay, thanks, bye. You gotta go. Wait, do you know this Canadian record album? Do you know this? Shimee, you're Canadian, right? Yeah, no one ever asked me before. Wow.

I see it right all over your face. You're Canadian? I'm from Sudbury. Oh my God, from Sudbury. The biggest place of filming in the country. Hey! The record on Size Small Island that used to play spoons at the end of the show. Yeah! What is Size Small Island?

You didn't have that? You don't have Size Small Island? It's a Canadian classic. Is it a kids show? Yeah. Let's sing Canadian classic. Is it a kids show? Yeah. Let's sing it together. It's a small island, it's a small island, everybody gather round. Here's where you can be who you like, see who you like, and be who you like. See who you like and be who you like.

Wow. You can be anyone you like. And Sands Falls Island. Goodbye. More theme songs should end with goodbye. Gotta go. Oh, OK. This is the longest you've ever sing around.

Oh, he's gone. I didn't know he was Canadian. That's incredible. I didn't know he was Canadian. That's incredible. I didn't know he had such a beautiful singing voice. Yes. He's here so rarely. We don't get to learn that much about him. And then when we actually got a chance to talk to him

at that last LA show, the Batman came in. Before he was supposed to. Well, anyway, in any case, Tatt, it's good to have you on though. I must admit when you backed out and then I saw suddenly you did an episode of Blank Check. Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay, I understand.

You're too busy to do the show. Then suddenly like you're up on Blank Check and I'm like, what the heck? Yeah, well, we were talking about. More like Blank What the Heck? Is that something? That is a thing, yeah. Okay, thank you, yeah. We were talking about more like blank. What the heck is that? That is a thing. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, we were talking about what's his name director

Extraordinary a little more specific. He's a director. He's made some movies DW no his first name David Lynch David Lynch Lynch's last name's McDonald and he made some great movies in the late 60s Oh, I'm sure they loved having an expert who maybe remembers his name on the show My name's David Lynch, his last name's McDonald, and he made some great movies in the late 60s. Oh, I'm sure they loved having an expert who maybe remembers his name on the show. But you- I'm so bad on those podcasts.

It burns me up to another podcast, I hate it. I gotta make money somehow, man. Yeah, that's true. Well, by the way, I wanted- Wait, you get paid? We're gonna get paid for this? Oh yeah, well, I mean, TAT does. I wanted to give you your check for $50,000. Thanks so much. Here you go.

Could you make it out to TAT? Yeah. Wait, what? Not Christian, but TAT. much. Could you make it out to Tat? Yeah. Not Christian, but Tat. Oh, I accidentally made it out to Tattoo. You know, that band that pretending to be lesbians. Yeah, that was formative. Really, was it? Sure.

Did that make you feel things? I did have questions. Like what were the questions? I felt things. Christian, we're talking to her. Christian, what did it make you think? Should I go? What did it make you think, Christian? I thought it was titillating and scandalous.

Right, because girls kissing. Bleh. Bleh, was that disgust? Scared. Oh, scared? Nervous. Do you think you'd ever go as two girls kissing for Halloween? Yes.

You'd have like a little, I guess, like a doll next to you. Yeah, I think that's the way to go. Just little, I guess, like a doll next to you. Yeah, I think that's the way to go. Just dangling off of you. And lips always connected. Always. Wow. What are you guys,

I mean, Halloween's just around the corner. Do you have your costumes yet? Oh man, I've been thinking about this a lot. I do not, I'm going to get it. So you do or you don't? No. Okay. But it does occupy a lot of my brain

because I think I always get very excited for Halloween and then I bail at the last minute. Yeah. This is a lot like the party I mentioned last week that you sent me an invite for. And then I said address to come and then I texted you the day before, I said, what's the address to your party?

You said, oh, I canceled that. And I had it reserved on my calendar for a month. That was another, okay, guys, I get that. And I had it reserved on my calendar for a month. That was another, okay, guys, I get sick a lot. That's why I had those rods shoved into my nose. And hopefully from now on, I will never cancel again. But I might be canceled. Really?

Yeah, for something you say on the show. Well, speaking of being canceled, we did want to bring up a little hanging thread from last week's show. We talked about the now defunct band, Franklin's Fault. And we dug up some tape here. The understudy trumpet has taken the mic. This is from 2011. This is from 2011.

This is from 2011. This is from 2011. This is Mr. Next in Line by Franklin's Falls. This is Mr. Next in Line by Franklin's Falls. This is Mr. Next in Line by Franklin's Falls. There's that trumpet. There's that trumpet. There's that trumpet.

Oh my god. Yeah. You son of a bitch. You're wearing a purple jacket, which I love. Look, it's a live show. The sound isn't perfect. Oh my god. Pretty good. I love it.

I'm sweating a lot. It's pretty good. It is, by the way, it's not a demo or anything. This is a live. That was a live performance. This is a camera far away from a live performance. Yes. Oh my God, I can't believe you...

What were the lyrics again? I'm not exactly the man of your dreams, but girl, I'm always around. And you know if it wasn't for him, you and I'd be getting down. Oh! Christian! Yeah. Yeah. So is that how relationships work?

Is that just like whoever's Mr. Next in Line is like... Yes. Yeah. So is that how relationships work? Is that just like whoever's Mr. Next in line is like, there's a succession order. I did not write these lyrics. Oh really, who wrote them? Dan Banger McKay wrote these lyrics. So you wanna blame it all on him. Yes. Wait, did you have a middle name for the band too?

No, that was his nickname because he played the bass drum in a pipe band, like a Scottish style pipe band. Now I wanted to say that there is one comment on this video on the YouTube page. It just says Constable Johnstable. The video was uploaded 13 years ago. That comment was made yesterday. Can I tell you that I I've heard Constable Johnstable so much that now I forget my character's name and I will say Johnstable instead of Jackson.

Like, my instinct is to say Johnstable instead of Jackson. It is Jackson, though. It is Jackson. You're 90% sure. Slugger Jackson. Slugger Jackson, we talked a lot about his origin story of being a terrible baseball player. Every time I'm on the show, we talk about this fucking character.

I'm just super, I learned it. Look, I love repeating the stories because I learned new little facets about it. I did not know that, I thought this was a show that you got after Orphan Black, but you did it before. I got it just before Orphan Black. And then we did, I did it at the exact same time. And then when Orphan Black finished after five seasons,

that was like my sixth season of Murdock Mysteries. And then I got killed off. And so I moved to LA and had two jobs before I moved to LA. No, last week you said you moved to LA before you got killed off. I did. No, no, no, I was killed off. And then they, one of the characters was killed

in the last episode. We heard this last week. It was a cliffhanger episode. And then in between seasons, they informed me that it was me who died. Because you would not come. No, I wanted to. You wanted to, but you said, but you gotta pay for like at least one plane flight.

And they said. They offered two flights back and forth, and I was like, sure, and I'll stay at my mom's house and work as a local. And they're like, okay, great. And then a month before filming started, I got an email being like, so you're... I know, we talked about this last week.

Fuck. I'm the guy who just said he loved repeating stories. But I just don't, I want to hold your feet to the fire because you were lying before. I was not lying. No, no, no, we broke it down properly last week. Yes. So this week when you...

All I'm saying is when I moved to LA, I thought I would have at least one more job You're not lying. No, no, no, we broke it down properly last week. Yes. So this week- All I'm saying is when I moved to LA, I thought I would have at least one more job in my future and I was not correct on that. Well, all jobs are in the past unless you're doing it currently like I am. Wow, ouch. I consider this a job.

Do you really? Yeah, even though you don't pay me anything. Yeah, I'm sorry. This is work. Just like an audition is work, even though you don't get me anything. Yeah, I'm sorry. This is work. Just like an audition is work, even though you don't get paid. That's right, exactly. Tat, what are you up to? You were famously She-Hulk in the Marvel Universe,

and I still get a lot of comments on the last episode you were on. Oof. A lot of people trying to flood your social media with like weird things I don't even understand. Like, I'm not... I'm glad you weren't in Deadpool. Yeah, okay, so here's... I'm gonna clear this up. I'm gonna clear this up.

And this is... By the way, this is the show where we break news about the Marvel universe. And this is the facts. Okay. So, I was in Deadpool Wolverine. I had two scenes in it. No! And then Ryan Reynolds fired me.

What? From the show, cause he said, I don't like these scenes. Really? And now I'm- Did you film them already? I filmed them, they were in the can. How do you fire someone

after they've already left and gone home? I don't know, but he managed to do it. And now I'm suing Disney. These are the facts. Okay, so have you filed the lawsuit yet? Yes. You also always talking about how much I hate Wolverine and Deadpool. Well, that's the thing.

I talk about it all the time. No, I- I wish, I also wish I would just sit down and stop pushing my feminist agenda and just realize that the movie made a lot of money and She-Hulk made $3. Wow. I don't think She-Hulk made anything because- No, you're right, you're right. It's streaming and there are no, no one paid for it specifically, so. So they're actually like bumping us up a little with this $3 business.

Zero dollars made on She-Hulk. Well, that's, I mean, it's a shame because Deadpool and Wolverine was so funny. And I'm- Don't even get me started on how woke bullshit was creeping in. That's why they got rid of me because I was gonna, I had this woke agenda and I really wanted to bring it

into the movie. I remember you telling me that you kind of ad-libbed a bunch of stuff about the wolf mine. My feminist manifesto. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's too bad that you were cut out of it, but I'm glad you're suing them, I think. It feels good to sue them.

Yeah. It's a thing that could happen. Were you? I better feel smart too. Hey, Jimmy. It's a thing that could happen. And a thing I didn't. I better feel smart too. Hey, Jimmy. It does feel smart. What better plan could there be than to sue Disney? Right, for firing me from the movie.

And now I'm speaking a lot of shit about Ryan Reynolds too. Okay, good. And I have beef, you guys. Yeah. Let's get into the beef. I hope no comic book media picks this up. This is an exclusive here on Comedy Bang Bang, but a lawsuit against Disney.

This is incredible because you were cut out of Wolverine meets Deadpool. And they haven't, I mean, honestly, that movie they met and they had a pretty good meeting originally, I thought. And then they fought a lot though. I don't know. It's kind of a confusing movie. I don't know, Scott. Sounds like you're getting cut.

Did you play She-Hulk in it or were you playing yourself? I was playing. That's the other thing. I insisted on playing She-Hulk. Oh. Which was also like, how dare you be She-Hulk? That's right. Yeah. Right? Wow. Well, you are still in the Avengers movie though, right? Even though you're suing Disney?

Yes, but I'm expecting to be fired pretty soon. Okay, we just- And I can't wait to round it up with a second little lawsuit. Oh man, I can't wait for that. Yeah. Well, amazing. Thank you so much for, again, you come on this show and you make news.

I want to set the record straight. Thank you so much. That's amazing. And anything else going on for either of you? We talked a lot about how, uh, Christian, there's not a lot going on over here, but... What are you talking about? I have a whole season of a show coming out. Oh, that's right. You got the, uh, uh, the constant, uh, the constant, uh...

The recruit. The recruit. He's in two of The Recruit on Netflix. No, I'm thinking of the guy's name, Joe Constant-Potato. Constant-Potato? What's his name? Yanis? Yanis Fergur, my character. No, I'm thinking of the guy's name, Joe Constant Potato. Joe Constant Potato. What's his name? Yanis, Yanis Fergur, my character. No, the guy in the show with you, the actor.

Oh, Noah Centineo. Yes! Noah Constant. Noah Constant Gardener. The Constant Potato. Constant Potato. So you have that coming on in Q1. Q1, I'm not allowed to say the date.

But you told me off, Mike, that it was in January. And then- I don't think I said that. And then, what do you have going on? Well, I think the monkey trailer just dropped. The monkey trailer? Yeah. What is the monkey trailer?

We finally made a movie about monkeys. Yeah, Shimmy, your favorite subject? Is it the band, the monkeys? Oh, I wish. There's a band made of monkeys? Yeah. Put enough of them together and eventually one of them will ride Shakespeare. What a day! People say they monkey around.

Who says? People. Which people? All of them. I wish people would stop talking about the monkeys. Behind their back. Me? I wish people would talk about monkeys forever. You love monkeys, Shimi? I love them. They're our cousins. That's right. monkeys forever. You love monkeys, Shimei? I love them. There are cousins. That's right. Is that your costume for Halloween, Shimei?

No, he's an LP. That's right. Damn it. A record. The record, the plate. He'd be a great monkey. The spoons on Spice Mala's violin. Okay, Shimei, now I'm saying it. You gotta go. I gotta go. He was so sad. He slimed out of here in a slow way.

Poor Shimi. He slimed out. So what is The Monkey? Tell us about The Monkey. The Monkey is a movie by Osgood Perkins, who did Long Legs. Long Legs was a guest on this show. Long Legs, why?

Wow, we loved him. He was so nice. Yeah, and he sang. Does he sing Jeremy Piven, Long Legs? I'm not sure. But yeah, he's a good friend of the show. We love him. Great. Well, hopefully you can have The Monkey on next.

Oh, that would be great. Yeah, so Osgood Perkins directed it, and you're in it. Rotten directed it. I'm in it, and Theo James is in it. Did you get murdered? Theo Vaughn is in this movie? Do you play the monkey? Vaughn. I kept saying, I don't know. Do you play the monkey?

Vaughn. I kept saying, please put me in as a monkey. It feels like there's no, nothing required. No costume, no, I could do that. I'm learning to play the drums. You're learning to- And to kill people in tandem. Wait, you're learning to play the drums in the movie or you just segued into telling me that-

No, I'm just bragging about what I do in my- Oh, wow. Wait, so you learned to kill people with drums? You said in tandem, or at the same time you're learning how to kill people? Both things. Got it. So what is this movie? You're a drum player who kills people?

I'm not the drum player, but it's based on a Stephen King short story. Ooh, the master of horror himself? Ba-ba-ba-bum. Ba-bum, ba-bum. You know his theme song. You know how he always walks in a silhouette and you... We love Stephen King for that. Always walking around in silhouette.

He also pops up in his movies. I don't know if you've ever noticed that. That's the thing. Yeah. He does a Hitchcock? Yeah, in Creepshow. Yeah, he just shows up. In Creepshow, he pulls a Hitchcock.

Where he's on for 30 minutes. In the first Creepshow? Yes. Was that the one where the guy gets run over by the car and chases the lady? I'm seeing it next weekend. I'm not even kidding. You're seeing Creepshow? Yeah, but you just spoiled it?

No, I'm saying there's like many stories in Creepshow. And I don't even know if that's like many stories in Creepshow. And I don't even know if that's one of them, by the way. I remember that from watching it as a child and at the very... Never mind, I can't say what he says at the end. Never mind. I don't want to spoil it. Go ahead, I'll just sing off mic.

Okay. He goes, thanks for the ride, bitch. I just remember that being like the scary last line. Who is he, Freddie? He can't say that word. That's Freddie's catchphrase. It was the 80s. It's the B word. Do you remember when he directed Maximum Overdrive?

I do, yeah. There was a commercial where he looked at the camera and goes, I'm going to scare the hell out of you. I do remember that. Got to go. Bye. Hey Jimmy. You can YouTube that ad.

It's quite cocaine-ed out. Yeah. We love Stephen King for his cocaine use, of course. We've talked about that many times on the show. Famous. One of our best cocaine users. I mean, these output on cocaine was quite masterful. It was. I mean, some would say,

get back on the coke soon. Would you say that after being in The Monkey? Yeah, it needed more coke behind it. Yeah. Across all production jobs. Totally, it needed more coke behind it. Yeah. Yeah. Across all production jobs. Totally. Everyone should have been doing bumps. Yeah, the grips. Especially the grip.

Oh my God, if the grip's not doing a bump right before. Then you're not doing a hump. It's not a sex scene. They always do coke before the sex scenes. Yeah, before the sex scenes, just to make sure they're awake. Yeah. Tad, how many sex scenes have you ever done? So many. We've done them.

Oh, my God. We've done a few. Yeah, yeah. We did two, I think. Uh-huh, and you had your butt drawn out or whatever. Drawn out? What does that mean? Like elongated? Yeah, extended. Down to the ground?

I have a very short butt, and they wanted it to be longer. It wanted to be longer. It wanted to be too long. Too long. Yeah. What was that mean? You guys? I was wearing a dance belt to cover up my crotch, but it's like a thong that goes up

your butt. And I was wearing a jean shirt and we were having sex in the garage. Against the freezer. Against the freezer, which had a dead body in it. Oh, that's right. I remember this scene. Yeah. So we're engaging in coitus, I am behind. I am in front. Thank you.

And the freezer's in front of me. Yes. Okay, so it's like a three way. Yeah, okay, I got it. Yeah, the freezer's opening and closing. Free, yeah. And the rhythmic thrusting of my hips would cause the jean shirt I was wearing to lift up, revealing the whale's tail at the top of my butt crack. And then someone in visual effects had to go in frame by frame and digitally remove

the black thong from my ass so that it was just pure cheek. Did they get paid extra for that? I believe our visual effects supervisor, Jeff Scott, bought the guy. They had to call in the supervisor for this? He gave the guy a bottle of tequila. Because the guy spent a week on my ass. Was this the same person who had to come in and remove your balls from your underwear? Yes, I think so.

Someone removed your balls? Removed my balls are gone. They had to also digitally remove my balls from the twerking on the bed full of money scene because the underwear I was wearing kept, uh, separating up and the cameras were just seeing my nuts. So I think it might've been the same guy. Those zoom in and digitally removed my blackout, my nuts from that scene frame by frame. And that also took a week.

I believe we had to do that on the Bang Bang TV show with one of the birthday boys who will remain nameless. Had to... We had to... Uh... But he was... Nothing was exposed, but just, uh, he was in little bikini briefs, and it was becoming distracting. Yeah.

So we had to blur things. Perfect. See, this is what we need AI for, right? Yes. This would just solve everything. Exactly. It would add a little arm to your penis. Yes, please. Be like, right?

I want one on both sides, and then I reach out of the underwear and wave. Do you, as, I'm gonna ask you one of these as a woman questions. I can't wait. When you get a script, and then you're- Let me put on my woman hat first. Yes, thank you.

Oh, good, that's beautiful. Thanks, it's a fascinator. So you're reading a script and someone's like, oh, hey, we got this script for you. We think you'd be really, these are the qualities of the character. This is what you, and then suddenly you get to page like 73

and it's like, sex scene. Yeah. How's it work? And it's got an exclamation point. Sex scene! Sex scene, yeah. I go, great, great? And it's got an exclamation point. Sex scene. Sex scene, yeah. I go, great, great. And you're in.

I'm in. Yeah. I can't. At this point, who cares? Look, we were on strike forever. We need work. Right. Sexy work. And I've had so much work done, I want to shut off.

How's your third BBL doing, by the way? Big Brazilian butt lift? Big blue bum. What? Oh my Brazilian butt. You got a Smurf bum, didn't you, at one point? Yeah, I had one added on top. by the way. A big Brazilian butt lift. A big blue bum. What? Oh my Brazilian butt. You got a Smurf bum, didn't you at one point? Yeah, I had one added on top.

So I still have my regular bum, but I have a second little bum on top. Yeah. It's great. I love it. Yeah, it looks really, it looks like it, like some sort of hunchback or something like that. Okay, well I feel-

It's a little too high in my opinion. It's on your shoulders. Well, Christian- I could actually borrow it and make my butt longer by putting it at the bottom of my butt. Right, you wanna borrow the butt that I had added to my body. Yes, your third one.

It's so funny, because you said borrow first, and then you said borrow, because you've learned how to disguise your Canadian-ness. And then you went ahead and said borrow after that. Listen, I'm everything. Like you had forgotten, oh yeah, I gotta pretend to be American. Look, I say I'm sorry, I say I'm sorry, I say borobaro.

Horror. Are you watching us like two little geese just like trying to figure it out? Yeah, man. We're just trying to make it in America, Scott. You got, well, you're doing a great job of it. You have The Constant Potato coming up, and then you have the Monkey movie. Is this the Monkey from the Hangover movies? Is he back or...? and then you have the monkey movie. Is this the monkey from the hangover movies?

Is he back or? Yeah, man, that guy. That guy. Or is it the monkey with the cymbals? Yes, that's what it is. It's closer to that, but it's more a drum. He's got a little drum. Okay, this sounds scary as hell.

When's it come out? I think February, so. So watch the- A month after Christian's show comes out. Yeah, watch the constant potato. I didn't say the date or anything. Netflix daddy, don't sue me daddy. You should sue them.

It's really fun. It works, it's good, it's easy to do. Do I need a lawyer? Can I just go it alone? No. I play a lawyer in the show. Yeah, you both have played lawyers, so you can just represent yourself. I object, the rest.

Yeah, yeah, et cetera. Yeah, overruled. You can't say that, sir. Oh. Yeah, this is incredible. Well, some great entertainment news we've broken. Tatiana Maslany is suing Disney and the Constant Potato comes out in January.

We need to take a break, but when we come back, oh, this is an exciting show. We have a, we have someone who owns a malt shop. And we have someone from the entertainment industry. So this is a very, very exciting show. So I'm glad that you both were able to reschedule this. Have you ever had someone two weeks in a row on the show? I don't think so. Oh, my God.

Do I get an award or like, is there some Hall of Fame? Yeah, yeah, there's a Hall of Fame. OK, can I go in there? OK. Yeah, it's right through there. Should I go now and just stay in there? Yeah. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have more Tatiana Maslany. We're going to have more Christian Brun.

We'll be right back with more comedy. Bang, bang Bang after this. Huh? Huh? Huh? No, no, no, no. Yeah. Oh, come on.

Fuck, man, I wanna get on stage. Welcome back, Comedy Bang Bang. Here's that trumpet. You should have been the lead trumpeter. I was not as good as our main trumpeter. He was just better. But could he switch mics and sing? You are using a different mic for the trumpet than you are. This is true.

Why is that? Because Vox is different than trumps, bro. You are a musician, isn't that? I know all the terms. We're back. Christian Brun is here, isn't it? I know all the terms. We're back, Christian Brunis here, of course, Constable Johnstable himself. We also have Tatiana Maslany here from The Orphan Black.

And we were talking about how on that show before we started the show about how you should have been paid like seven salaries. Instead they paid you one. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's mean. It is mean, it feels like it paid you one. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's mean. It is mean, it feels like it's sexist.

Okay. Did they have you back for the spinoff? They did not. Okay. Wait, there's a spinoff? There was a spinoff. What's it called? Orphan Black Echoes.

And I believe it just got canceled. Oh, I'm so sorry. We always hate to hear that when anything- Yeah, I think so, I think it just got canceled. Oh, I'm so sorry. We always hate to hear that when anything. Yeah, I think so. I think it did. When anything in the Orphan Black family gets canceled. Yeah. Hate to hear that news.

We didn't. High five. Oh! But of course, next time maybe they'll bring you back and it won't get canceled. You know what I mean? I mean, your words to God's ears. That's right.

Is that what it is? Like both of you, I would love to- Yeah, you just looked at her when you said that. No, I'd love to see a spin-off of you guys' characters, just like- I think it would be a sitcom. All the drama's gone. Like all that weird shit that happened is like all done, and now you're just living your life with a family.

Just having fun with it. Yeah, you know what I mean? You gonna write it? Yeah, I'll write it. You wanna write it? Yeah, I'll write it today. I feel like you've done enough research. Yeah.

I watched the first four seasons. Four? Really? Yeah, because remember he hosted a panel. I remember that. Was it Comic-Con or where was it? It was at Comic-Con, I had to catch up and rush through season four in order to host the panel to like figure out what was happening.

And then I got so lost. It was like, I can't see, I can't see watching season five. You and me both. So I never saw you watch season five. By the end, were you just like saying lies that you didn't even understand? I was just opening my mouth and they would have like a person off camera just say the line.

But that's most acting, right? You did that on She Hulk too. Oh, yeah. In fact, you were CGI in that show, so like you never even showed up, right? I wasn't there, but I still managed to really inject it with like a feminist agenda from afar.

But I have that, yeah. Cause that really shone through. Thanks. That's what I was trying to do. Well, we need to get to our next guest. He is the owner of a malt shop. Please welcome Bill Blondie. Hey there Scott, how you doing? Oh, hey,. Please welcome Bill Blondie. Hey there Scott, how you doing?

Oh, hey, Dr. Blondie. Yeah, what's up man? Hey, I thought you're, I'm sorry, this is my doctor, my physician. Dr. Bill Blondie. Dr. Bill, I thought you owned a malt shop. How you doing? I do own a malt shop.

You own a malt shop? Tatoo, what did she say? Tattooing. Tattooing? Tatiana. Nice. Tattooing. Tattooing? Itooing? Tatiana. Nice. Tattooing. Tattooing? I just realized that they named Luke Skywalker's home planet

a verb. Yeah, like the way that, I don't know, it's like, some people, they don't do the G when they do ing and they do like een. Yeah. Walk een, hike een. Yeah, exactly. Phoenix.

Phoenix. Walkie-talkie Phoenix. Hey, Dr. Blondie, I'm sorry, I didn't, exactly. Phoenix. Phoenix. Hey, Dr. Blondie, I'm sorry. I didn't know you owned a mall shop. Yeah, I just bought one. Really, which one? Well, it's a mall shop now. Oh, you bought a different business? It was a car dealership.

Oh, is that, did it have a kitchen and stuff? Is it outfitted for that or did you have to? There was a coffee maker in there. So you had to really renovate the place. Why not me personally? You know what I mean though. I think I know what you mean. I don't know.

You own the- Hey man, you're a weird guy. I don't know what you mean. I'm not a weird guy. How's your shoulder? You said you had a frozen shoulder. I don't have a frozen shoulder. What do you mean?

Who told me that then? I don't know who, one of your other patients. You're not supposed to say what one of your other patients. Do you want some cocaine? Do I want some cocaine? Yeah, for the shoulder? Yeah. I bet now you got a frozen jolt.

Yeah, sure, yeah, I have a frozen jolt now. I'm sorry. I'm gonna write a prescription for you for an eight ball. Okay, I don't know that I need that much cocaine. It's just gonna sit around the house. I'm gonna- Better to have it and not need it. All right, all right, thanks, Dr. Blondie.

Sorry, Dr. Blondie is my personal physician. Hi. He was on, you came on to one of our- Whoa, whoa, whoa, shut up. Oh. Chris Bruhn? Yeah. From Franklin's Fault?

Yeah. Oh my God. You're a Franklin's Fault fan. Are you? And FFF? Look at my tattoo. It's the logo of Franklin's Fault. Oh my God, it's the guy walking across the street.

The guy walking across the piano keys. Hey, yeah. Wow. I took that photo in Norway. It was a street sign. It's a drawing. Yeah, and then we converted it into a drawing. It's a photo, yeah.

Wow. Well, I didn't need the backstory about the... Yeah, I'm sorry. It's kind of turning me off from the band. Yeah, okay. I mean, it's like three steps for one tattoo. First it was a sign, then it was a drawing, but now it's your tattoo. I don't need the whole next story. You just like the tattoo. I just like the band. Yeah, okay. I mean, it's like three steps for one tattoo. First it was a sign, then it was a drawing, but now it's your tattoo.

You just like that tattoo. I just like the tattoo. Anyway, I love Mr. Next In Line. Oh my God, thanks Doc. I just watched you the other day left a comment on this. Oh, oh wait, that was you leaving the Constable Jonesable comment? Is that how it turned out?

What did you want to? I woke up in the middle of the night and left that comment. Oh wait. It was supposed to say love these guys. turned out? What did you want to? I woke up in the middle of the night and left that comment. Oh wait. It was supposed to say love these guys. I have big news. A second comment has popped up.

Oh. It says, is this a Franklin's Promise cover band? Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. What's Franklin's Promise? That was what I thought the band was last week. Oh, I see. I at first, what I heard about, I thought it was Gerald's Game. Oh I said. I first, when I heard about it,

I thought it was Gerald's game. Oh, right. Speaking of Stephen King. Yeah, that's right. The most sinister game of all. Gerald was a real freak and he liked it in the sheets. I mean, we all like it in the sheets, so I don't want to sex shame Gerald.

Gerald really liked it in the sheets. Okay, all right, wow. How's your foot? Still fucked up? It's okay, it's okay. I mean, all right, wow. How's your foot? Still fucked up? It's okay, it's okay. I mean, sorry, he's my personal physician. He's been treating me for various ailments over the years. Mostly that foot.

Mostly the foot. You did surgery on it recently. Fun. Fun? I don't like to hear that it was fun. Why? What were you enjoying? You were miserable.

What did you enjoy about it? I had a great time. I love cutting open feet. I love cutting open feet. I love looking inside there. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. That's right, Franklin. Was inside there by the way.

He's not Franklin, he's Christian Bruhn. Frank was our drummer. It was his fault. It was his fault. Oh boy. Okay, what was in there? There's a, okay, and a foot. Yeah.

And this is like first week of medical school they talk about what's in the foot. Okay. You got blood. Sure. Skin. That's on the outside. There's inside skin.

There's inside skin? Layers of dermis, I guess. There's epidermis and then there's lower dermis. Then you got sinew gross. But if you think about it, you eat that when you're eating a steak. So who cares? Yeah, that's a good point. It's the same thing.

So when I look inside a human foot, that's like what I eat. We're done with the ingredients of a foot? No. Oh, there's more. Did I say that? Bone. Bone.

There's four bones in the human foot. That many? Wow. There's a lot of bones. There's the walk bone, stand bone. Okay. Kick bone. Okay. Is there a skip bone?

No. No. That's the same bone as the walk bone. Wow. So when people say they're skipping, they're really just walking? They're walking in a weird way. Oh, okay. That's all skipping is, walking in a weird way. Wow, I didn't know that.

Things you learned in that- Yeah, I'm a doctor. Why are you sighing so heavily? There's also, I'm bored. There's also- I'm bored? Get the fuck out of here. Scott. I didn't ask for you to be on the show. I can't believe you're talking about me.

When I heard that Christian and Tat were on the show, I said, believe you're talking about me. When I heard that Christian and Tat were on the show, I said, hey, get me that malt shop owner from last week. I thought it was gonna be Bing Lu Joe. And I said, oh my God, the malt shop's taken off already. Got my first call. Apparently my producer called you, a guy who just bought a milk shop? Yeah, malt shop.

Malt shop. Milk shop. Can you imagine? What is this? What's that movie? Malcolm McDalt shop. Milk shop. Can you imagine? What is this? What's that movie? Malcolm McDowell. Milk money? Clockwork Orange.

Clockwork Orange. The milk. Thank you, Franklin. They all go out for milk because they're violent. They're violent guys, yeah. Anyway, I didn't want you on the show. I wanted Bing Lu Zhou. Who? I don't know who that is.

Bing Lu Zhou is a guy. He owns- Tell me three things about him. Okay, he owns a know who that is. Bing Lojo is a guy. He owns- Tell me three things about him. Okay, he owns a mall shop? Right. Oh boy. I'm running dry. He's very old.

Probably been a long time since you've seen him. No, I saw him last week. Oh, really? You can't remember two other things about him. I honestly can't. He's got a weird voice. Does that count as a thing I know about him? Yeah.

He loves the Music Man. Oh yeah. What's your opinion on the Music Man? I wanted to ask you. Okay, here's the thing about the Music Man. It's funny because I was watching some clips. Music Man, here's the scam, okay? Harold Hill comes to town and he says,

hey, there's a pool table, that's bad news. You gotta get the kids involved in wholesome activity. How about a boy's band? I'm on board so far. This is the plot of me. I come from the Gary Indiana Conservatory of Music. Here's what you do. Buy a bunch of instruments, buy a bunch of uniforms.

I teach the kids how to play music. Now he doesn't know shit about music. Yeah, this guy doesn't know shit about dick. He doesn't know jack shit about big dick. So he pretends to teach the kids music. Using the think system. What he says is the pattern of things. The thing method where it's just like.

I don't need to teach you any notes. You just think about the music and it will come out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, you know, first the instruments arrive. He's got his little buddy. On the Wells Fargo wagon. On the Wells Fargo wagon.

Which is coming down the street. That's right. And he says, his little buddy says to him, hey, the instruments are here. And he's like, great, phase one complete. Then a little bit later. As far as I'm concerned, by the way, the instruments are very expensive.

So the fact that he bought these, that's part of the con that makes him realistic. Here's the thing. We don't know who, did he get money for these instruments? We have no idea. Yes. Yes. Hold on a second.

I'm telling you, I just re-equated myself with the story. No, he is paid for three things. He's paid for his services as an instructor. That's it. And then, no. And then he also says like, they're gonna need to buy instruments, so give me this amount of money for the instruments.

And we also need to have uniforms, give me this amount of money for the uniforms. He buys the instruments, he buys the uniforms, he abscans with the bigger sum, which is the payment for his services as a music teacher. I don't think he gets paid for the uniforms, he abscons with the bigger sum, which is the payment for his services as a music teacher. I don't think he gets paid for the uniforms or the instruments. You think they just arrive?

They just buy them. The parents just buy them. He doesn't have instruments to sell. They just buy this shit. Here's where I differ on this because, and admittedly it's been a while since I've seen the movie. Right, great. But in my recollection of it-

In your recollection, right. They are just about to- Which is not as fresh as mine. You said you'd only watched clips, asshole. And I read the synopsis dick way. You read the synopsis. Yeah. Watch the movie maybe,

and then we can have a conversation about this. Look, I don't know if you're in the habit of arguing about the music man all the time. It's not a habit. But you're way out of line. But strangely, man all the time. It's not a habit. But you're way out of line. But strangely, it's happened to me twice. You're way out of line.

I'm way out of line? Here's my recollection. I'm a doctor. See if this rings a bell for you. All right, give it a shot. Franklin, get a load of this. About halfway through the movie, this is the point where they are-

Tattooine, you listening? Oh, I love the music man. They're suspicious of Harold Hill's intentions. They think he might just be a con man. They have seen neither hide nor hair of any evidence that he is an actual music teacher. His credentials. He says, no, no, no, I am a music teacher. They are just-

This is all the shit I already know. Let me get to the part you don't fucking know. Do it. Which is- That's what I'm know. Let me get to the part you don't fucking know. Do it. Which is... That's what I'm saying. Which is, just as they are about to arrest him, the instruments show up. You've skipped over.

What have I skipped over? A whole... First of all, the instruments don't show up just as they're about to arrest him. You're talking about the end of the movie. I'm talking about the middle of the movie. So they're just about to arrest him in the middle of the movie? No, they're not to arrest him. You're talking about the end of the movie. I'm talking about the middle of the movie. So they're just about to arrest him

in the middle of the movie? No, they're not. Yes, they are. No, they're not. They're at least getting suspicious because... That's a bit different than getting arrested. There is not that much daylight between suspicion and being arrested.

Honey, honey, honey, rest your mouth. They are suspicious of him throughout. Yes, and at the point where they are about to say like, maybe we should arrest this guy, the instruments show up because part of a con man's duties are to make part of it come true so that people buy into the con more completely. That's true. But the rest of what you said is false.

I don't think so. They're not about to arrest him at any point until they do arrest him. But they certainly are very suspicious and then the instrument show up and they go, well, maybe he knows what he's doing. Okay. Can I continue? Well, if you're just going to continue and continue and continue with your ludicrous claims, then

I don't know that I want to listen to them. All right. See if you can just open your mind a little bit and shut your fucking mouth. I want to do neither of those things, sir. You still want that cocaine? All right, go ahead. The instruments show up. He's like, great, everything's going according to plan.

They continue to be suspicious. You continue to fall in love with the librarian who is a music teacher, by the way. Marion. She's been- And who better than her to teach these kids music? One would wonder why don't they just say, well, why doesn't this lady do it?

Because he has this fake pedigree from the conservatory of Gary, Indiana, by the way. Professor. Same thing, as far as I'm concerned. Oh, okay. Anyway, continue professor, continue. Hey, you motherfucker, I'm a doctor. I've seen the insights.

You're a mall shop owner. I've seen so many feet, I can do two things. How do you split up your day? 90% is doctor, 10% is mall shop owner. So you turn off owning the mall shop during that other 90? Yeah, man. First do no harm. So you basically like give your ownership stake of the mall shop away during that 90%.

No, I'm just not working. Come on, man. Here's what you do. steak of the mall shop away during that 90%? No, I'm just not working. Come on, man. Here's what you do. Okay, so this guy comes into my office. He's like, my foot hurts. And I'm like, okay, wipe your tears away. Wipe your tears away.

I don't have tears in my eyes. Stop crying, little baby. Here's a lollipop. I usually give those after. And then he goes, my little foot hurts. And I say, okay, okay, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet. And I look at his foot and I say, you've been doing stupid shit, huh?

And he goes, yeah. He's like all sad. None of this happened. And I say, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna let me operate on your foot. I'm gonna cut into it. Look at all the stuff in there. The gore. The gore, the gristle.

The four bones. The four bones, the bile, all the humors. Yeah. And then I'm gonna do an operation. You may or may not have feeling in your foot after this. Which you never said, by the way. You just said- I bet I said it. You just said, I'm gonna do this operation,

you'll feel great after it. And then- I think it's implied. After the, it's not implied at all. It's implied in every operation. Every, yes. Every operation it's implied you could die from it. Yeah. But they, but, but you never said anything like, Oh, by the way, you could die from this. Not in so many words. No, you just kind of said like, I said, you may, this is a simple operation. It's going to go.

I never said you were going to die or implied it. What I said was, you may or may not have any feeling in your foot after this. You never said that. I said somebody over the years of doing all these operations. Yeah. You probably said, no, no, no. I mean around your specific foot. I don't think so. In any case, you're not in every room. Get back to the music pan. So then he's falling in love with this lady. This lady,

she knows all about this shit that he's a phony because Gary Indiana wasn't, he said he was made a professor, Gary Indiana in 1905, Gary Indiana was actually not a city until 1906. She conceals this information because she likes this guy. She likes this guy, this is the thing, she's letting her sexual attraction get in the way of her responsibility to her civic responsibility. She likes it in there. She's a freak. She likes it in there. We're on the same page, in the sheets. Of her responsibility to- She likes it in the sheets. Her civic responsibility. She likes it in there.

She's a freak, she's a freak. She likes it in there. We're on the same page, by the way. Yeah, man. This lady is a fucking freak who loves it. Mary in the library is a fucking freak. She likes it in the sheets. So.

Then some more time passes, he's still bullshitting with the kids, like, you know, they're pretending to play. Which really, quite honestly, that's all being a conductor is. It's just waving a dumb baton around. Yeah, I know. What was that movie with Lydia, what's her name?

Hearst? Yeah. You know the one? Tar. Tar. Which by the way, is a word they use in the music man, tar and feather him. That's right.

That's right. Because that's the punishment. By the way, if you know what tarring and feathering is, it's a gruesome punishment for her hair. It's real horrible, but it makes sense. They want him to asphyxiate from his skin being covered in tar. Like in Goldfinger.

Yeah, terrible, terrible stuff. In any case, tar, all she's doing is waving around a dumb, like, stick. And we're supposed to be on her side about all this stuff? Get the fuck out of here. That was a movie that I understood and thought was great. Mm-hmm. Great. So...

So... So, uh... Have you ever seen the Music Man Tatiana? I was in the Music Man. You were? Am I correct about the middle part? When the instruments show up? What'd you play, Winiana? I was in the Music Man. You were! Am I correct about the middle part? I don't. When the instruments show up? What'd you play, Winthrop?

I played Amaryllis. Amaryllis. I was Winthrop's bully. That's right. But also his cutie pie. Yeah. Okay. They grew up and got in the sheets together. Yeah, they were both freaks.

It's implied. It was weird, Ron Howard, he grew up and said, hey, I'm not gonna do Happy Days anymore. But one thing I did wanna say is my character from Music Man, when I grew up, I had sex with the little girl. It's all above board. Yeah. We were, as the characters aged,

he kept track of all his characters. Yes, you ask him, I've worked with him, great guy. You can ask him about any character he ever did. Happy Days, Music Man, Andy Griffith's show, and then that one horse movie that he did. And he knows what they're all doing. Like sexually? Yeah, mainly sexually.

That's what he'll end up saying mainly sexually. Is he constantly updating it, like the character profile? Oh yeah, every day. He never stops. He was in my office once, he said his knee hurt, and I said he was wrong. And he was updating his character from Eat My Dust. God, and American Graffiti, he was like, this guy's dead.

That's the only character he says. Yeah, it's the only one that died. The only one that's died. He says, what's his name in Happy Days? Ronnie or whatever it is. Ronnie. What is it? Richie. Richie, he says he's still alive and kicking and loving it.

He said Winthrop is still alive. Yeah. And that movie was set in the early 1900s. Crazy, but he's like. He's insane. He's an insane man, Ron Howard. He asked me to sew a baseball cap onto a scalp. Weird.

And I said, first do no harm, and then he goes second, and I said, deuce, I'm harm. Because he was tired of it slipping off during, cause that's the thing, if you ever work with him- He just didn't want to have to worry about it anymore. Well, if you ever work with him and you're on set with him and he's directing you in a thing, it's part of the fun pranks on set

of you trying to like slap the cap off his head. God, I fucking love pranks so much. I love them. I fucking love them. I'm so jealous of you guys on film sets. I would love to do some pranks. You can't do pranks as a doctor, people get mad. Yeah.

Although I feel like you pranked me with the operation because I can't feel my foot anymore. I told you that you might not. You never told me this. You just said afterwards like, eh, it'll get better. Yeah, and did it? Honestly, not yet, no. It will.

Okay. How long is it been? Oh wait, so is this a prank, the numb foot that you gave him? What did I just fucking say, frankly? Doctors can't do pranks. That's right. That's right. First do no harm. Apologize, Frank.

Of course, I'm so sorry, doctor. Thank you, Franklin. I'm sorry I did you some harm. We have someone who is in the music man. She can tell us if what's right, who's wrong. Can I ask you, honey? Why do you keep doing that with your lip? Mm-hmm.

What? Uh, cause I can't feel it. By the way, I do wanna say- Every time I look over, you are folding your lip, your upper lip under. I'm nervous to be asked a plot question about anything. Because you don't remember the plot. So I make a face like, don't look at me. What happened in season one, episode three of The She-Hulk? What?

Season one, episode three? Gogo. Gogo. Well, by the way, you fought Gogo? I did, I fought Gogo. They cut that and then I told him, you gotta sue me.

He sued me. By the way, Dr. Blondie, I am saying that the parents bought the instruments. I'm just saying that Harold Hill was the middle man. Yeah, I know. And I wish you'd stop saying it. So then after a time, Marcelus tells him, hey, what you call it, the uniforms have arrived. Why don't you just take the money that they've given you so far and leave? Because they're paying him for the music lessons that are horseshit.

Yes, in addition to the money that he was the middleman between the two. They never ever mention that he is the middleman for the instruments. They don't have to because it makes sense. Do you think they ever wanted to call it the middleman? Honestly? I think it would have been a bigger hit if they'd called it the middleman. Yeah. You know who was in the middleman?

Played the sheriff, Paul Gross. Paul Gross. Why did he never do a Murdoch Mysteries? He did. He must have. He must have. Why didn't he ever change his name? If my last name was Gross,

first thing I would do is like. But do you remember his name upon hearing it? I know, but it's the same thing with Michael Gross of Family Ties. It's like, you're always like, should we cast Michael Gross? You know what I mean? Well, they did, so. They did, you're always like, should we cast Michael? Ooh, gross. You know what I mean? It's like-

Well, they did, so there you go. They did, he lucked out and then he's in Tremors where it makes sense at least. Because those Graboids, pretty gross. They're gross. Have you ever wanted to cut into a Graboid, Dr. Boone? I have fantasized many times about cutting into mythological creatures

and famous monsters from film. Yeah. and how I would go about it. Like the dune worms maybe? Yeah, I'd get up on top of that guy. The beetle juice worm. Yeah, what about Harry and the Hendersons? I'd cut them all up. The family? The whole family?

Or just? Yeah. Jesus. They're fictional. I'd treat them, you know, like a doctor. Do no harm. Yeah, I'm assuming they have complaints. Wait, so you're just opening me up, opening me up.

You? Oh, hello, Dr. Roy. We have a new patient for you. If you invite me to do it, I have to do it. It's like a vampire thing. Okay, I invite you. Okay, I will cut you open. What do you want to see? Do you want to be wick for it?

Oh, yeah. Will it hurt? Yeah. Wait, can't you give me some numbing or some pain? I'm glad you brought that up. What do you want to see? Do you want to be wick for it? Oh, yeah. Okay. Will it hurt? Yeah. Wait, can't you give me some numbing or some pain? I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah. Yes, I can.

Will you? Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. I can't just shoot you full of anesthetic. I need you to say I need your enthusiastic consent. It's got to be enthusiastic too. To be knocked out for surgery. Otherwise, you're wide awake, baby. Oh, please, doc. can you knock me out? Is that enthusiastic enough? It sounds.

If you were Roger Rabbit, I guess. Here's what I'd do with him. I would- What are you doing with Roger Rabbit? I would slit open his belly, right? Yeah. And- Your guts just come spilling out. I would- Please!

Here's what I think. That's pretty good, Franklin. Thank you. I would assume like a boxing glove would come out of there on a spring, you know, stuff like that. Oh, of course, yeah. So you dodge I would assume like a boxing glove would come out of there in the spring, stuff like that. Of course, yeah. So you dodge it.

I'd be ready for anything. Yeah. That's the thing about Indiana Jones. Like all those traps he goes through. I'd love to cut him open. All those traps he goes through, just dodge. Yeah, why doesn't he just dodge them? You know what I mean?

Just be like boing. Oh, good thing that that didn't hit me. It's easy for you to say. You got that bionic foot now. Yeah. Oh, well, is it bionic? Really? Is that why I can't feel my foot? I know. I didn't say anything. How much did I spend on this foot? I didn't look at the price tag. So then he says, no, I'm going to stay here because I'm in love. And then some asshole from the train shows up and says, this guy's fraud. And then they put him in handcuffs

and they take him to the town hall. Sheriff takes him to town hall. Sheriff, by the way, was also in It's a Wonderful Life. Yes, and we, by the way, we listened to this clip last week and with a Bing Lujo, whose name I can always remember when I think of trying to find the movie about the rabid dog, the rabid haunted dog, who would bing Kujo, but then just...

Kujo. But then I would take the one part off of the C to make it look like an L. In any case, we listened to that entire clip last week. I did not know that he was thinking that I was talking about right before that clip. I'm talking about the middle of the... Can I tell you something?

We didn't listen to that clip. You didn't listen to that clip. You didn't listen to that clip. I listened to your show. That's not the clip you listened to. You listened to my show? Yeah, for the first time. How dare you? How dare you?

It's public. What's the problem, baby? Oh, yeah. You don't have my permission. To listen to the show? Doctor's permission goes both ways. Oh, shit. Woof.

Woof. Woof. But wait, everybody else who listens to this- If they're a doctor, they have to ask me personally. Oh, shit. Oof. Oof. But wait, everybody who listens to this... If they're a doctor, they have to ask me personally. Oh, if they're a doctor. Yes. Damn it. So many rules. So many rules with being a doctor, but it's worth it, isn't it?

What if somebody else was playing and I overheard it? Was that the case? No. You just press play on your own, you bad doctor. Oh, the same... Have they ever made a movie, bad doctor like bad lieutenant? Yeah, Dr. Giggles. Was that another Stephen King?

No. It should have been. This was a standalone Giggles verse. What if Stephen King was like, you know what? Dr. Giggles was so good. I'm just gonna write a book, Dr. Giggles. I don't know why he does that. It's all the same shit.

Go ahead, knock yourself out. You already wrote Dr. Sleep. That's right. That's true, that's a good point. But I mean, here's the Stephen King formula. There's a town, it's a small town, everyone's cool. It's in Maine. Few people like it. Everyone's cool.

Everyone's cool, few people like each other. It's a hallmark of Stephen King's work. Everyone's cool in the town. There is a bully who has greased hair and then Satan comes. In the form of what? Like a car, a dog. A clown.

A clown. I like how all the towns are like, this town is so weird, weird stuff happens here, but it only happens once every 200 years or some shit. Yeah, how do they do? The rest of the time it's just normal. Yeah. In any case, I'm glad that I'm right about the music, man.

You're not, you're wrong. I'm not wrong. You're medically wrong about it. I'm a doctor. You're medically wrong about it. I... I'm a doctor. You're medically wrong. He's got the music, man. I would venture to say that even if it is not explicitly mentioned in the text of The Music Man, that one can just extrapolate,

oh, yes, these people don't know how to order musical instruments. He would be the person that they would go through. If they know about the Wells Fargo wagon, they're going to know about catalogs and shit like that. Everyone knew what the Wells Fargo wagon was. Yeah, exactly. This is why banks are still called Wells Fargo. It's famous.

Wait, so you think the townspeople aren't impressed with the Wells Fargo wagon just shows up and brings things. Yes. But they have no idea how they got on the wagon. Yeah, everyone is excited when the Wells... Listen to yourself. Listen to yourself. So this is what you resort to when you're wrong. It's like when you came in with your dumb foot.

So when the Wells Fargo wagon approaches, no one knows what's on it. It could be something for someone who is no relation. They even talk about it! Something special just for me. Yes, these are the lyrics. And who says this? Everybody. The towns. No, no, no. Who says maybe it's bringing something special just for me. Yes, these are the lyrics. And who says this? Everybody. The towns. No, no, no. Who says maybe it's bringing

something special just for me? Sorry, something special just for me. And who is that that says that? Winthrop. A dumb child who has no idea about commerce. But he fucks in the future. He has no idea about money. You think everyone back in the early 1900s knew

that there wasn't order tracking, okay, with the Wells Fargo wagon. Should I go? Oh, no. I want you to stay. I want you to stay. There wasn't tracking of any shipments. No one knew when stuff would arrive.

You'd send a letter and maybe you would never get there. Maybe you would get there months from then. Was it the Wild West? It was akin to it. We're not that far away from the Wild West. Hold on a second. But they knew they, they, they, you know, like, oh, on March 13th, our instruments are going to arrive. How, how do you know they didn't know that? Because I'm not a dumb idiot.

How do you know that in the catalog, the old timey catalog where you could buy a bathtub and you could buy, you know, fucking hair grease that they don't say guaranteed delivery by blah, blah, blah. Guaranteed by some, you would hope it would arrive by then, fucking hair grease that they don't say guaranteed delivery by blah blah blah. Sure, guaranteed by. So you would hope it would arrive by then, but you don't know the exact date. And then you wouldn't even know when the Wells Fargo wagon would come. Can I say something, baby? You're making it sound like.

Don't call me fucking baby. All right. I'm not your baby. I'm not your honey. I'm not your child. I'm a man with a man's pride. And a bionic foot. And a bionic foot. That's not proven.

Let me tell you something, sweet, my sweet, sweet boy. I'm not a boy. You're my sweet boy. I'm a grown up. You're my sweet boy. Well, he's holding him in his arms. I love you.

You love me, Dr. Quadddy? Yes, I get attached to all my patients. You're attached to me? I love them. I think about you all the time. I think about your stupid foot. I think about like all your guts. I think about your ears and how you're going deaf and then you got to get the wax out of

there. You said something before we were on Mike about his four bones and that the fourth bone, which you haven't named yet, that there was something special about Scott's fourth bone. I have a special fourth bone in my body. Thank you, Ratatouille. Yeah, you do. You have a very special fourth bone. This is why you're a special boy and a sweet boy that I love.

Okay? All right. You're a special bone. What? And this is going to sound ridiculous. It's the funny bone. That's what makes you so talented, so beloved. Everybody loves you because you're good at what you do.

Oh my god, he's crying like a little baby. And just because your foot is stupid doesn't mean you're not good. Thank you, Dr. Blonde. You're a good person. Thank you so much. That's... I fucking love you. And listen, I gotta tell you that you're wrong about the music. I'm not wrong about the music, man. That is one thing. I'm not wrong about I've seen this movie and musical

Probably three times in my life Once on stage twice in the movies, and I know I'm right. I feel like we're gonna have to watch with Me too a watch along still watch along with being yeah, let's bring him to three of us. Yeah, okay, Caballero's maybe Maybe our guests from last week, Miss Byrne, could show up. And a Byrne. She won't be there. The fire safety inspector. Okay.

Scott, is this a podcast about the music man? We've gotta stop talking about the music man on CBB. We really do. All right, look, we need to take a break. When we come back, we have someone in the entertainment industry. Maybe they can clear this up. In addition to Gerald here? Yeah, we got Gerald, we got Franklin, we got Ratatouille, we got everyone here.

We're gonna come right back. We're gonna have more Dr. Bill Blondie, more Tatiana Maslany, more Christian Brun. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Oh no no no no. Oh no no no no no. Oh no no no no. Oh no no no no no. Comedy bang bang, we're back. We have Tatiana Maslany and Christian Brun from Orphan Black are both here. And is there ever gonna be like a reunion show?

Yeah, you're writing it. Or a movie? Yeah, you're writing the sitcom for the Hendrix family. It was the Hendrix family. Yeah, and they get chopped up into little bits. Wait, we did? No, we chop people up. Didn't you say you were gonna chop up the Hendrickson's?

Oh yeah. No, you just chop them up. It's Harry and the Hendrickson's, dear. I'll chop up your family's show. Oh my. By the way, different TV family, not us. Have you been sitting there paralyzed with fear that he was gonna chop you up for the last 15 minutes?

Yeah, I kept trying to hold my bits in place. By the way, Scatman, I don't chop people up. What I do is I cut them open. And then you put everything back together in relatively the same way. Yeah, of course, of course, of course, of course. Sometimes there's stuff left over. I put back in stuff that needs to be in there.

I take out what doesn't need to be in there. Do you ever add a little Easter egg for later? Yeah. Oh. Sometimes. Do you do like a phantom thread kind of thing? This is exactly what I do. I do a phantom thread where I put a little tag in. A little message.

I love it. Spray paint. And then your wife poisons you, right? Yeah, but I know about it. Yeah, sure. Yeah, with mushrooms. Of course. Delicious. Are you gonna make poison tonight?

She goes, yep. Yep. Save room for other poisons. She's a freak. That's real freak. You're a freak in the sheets, are you not? You were telling me. I'm a freak for the sheets.

I love them. You love the, like, what's a good thread count for you? 50,000. That's too high. That's just threads at that point. That's like water. Sweetie, you don't know how good it is. At this point, you're just like dumping threads on yourself.

Have you ever done it? That's a good point. I've never dumped threads on myself. Do you like it straight from the silkworm? Like you have a worm and you're just pressing on it on the side. My house is filled with worms. Yeah, and they're just shitting that out. Wow.

That's not what we call it, but yeah. That's actually what's happening. Wow. And they're just shitting it out. Wow. No, that's not what we call it, but yeah, that's actually what's happening. Wow. Is silk shit? I guess it is. Silk shit. It's a secretion, is it not? That we then-

All secretions are shit. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Wow. I've never heard it articulated that way, but it really rings true. God, I- Is there nothing on earth that comes out of something else that we humans have not said like,

oh, I wonder what we could do with this? And then like boiled it or turned it into thread. Yeah, jizz. Bird shit. Jizz, we haven't figured out what to do with jizz yet. We've not boiled jizz once to make a blanket out of it. Can it boil? It can. Oh yeah.

You know, when they cut open the sperm whale head, they look in there and they go, that looks like semen. And that's why it's called sperm whale. Yeah, I was talking to someone else about this. The brain? On a show that's gonna come out Thursday. These goofballs, these goofballs are like, huh, huh, that looks like, you know what that looks like?

And then now we all have to say it. Isn't that ridiculous? That is ridiculous. That's crazy. Have you ever heard of these whales that wear salmon as hats? Yeah. What? As chapeaus?

So it was like a thing, they discovered all these whales that had salmon as hats? Yeah. What? As chapeaus? So it was like a thing. They discovered all these whales that had salmon on their heads like hats. It was like a thing. Like to peacock? How do they hold them there? I guess. No one knows.

How do they put them there? It was 50,000 whales that were doing this. That's a lot of whales. You sure it's just not a growth? Like they have a fake salmon that they've genetically grown on their heads to attract salmon to eat. Like, oh, look, we're just a salmon. And then, wow. But they don't eat that, honey.

They don't eat that. They eat krill and stuff. They love it. But also it seems like a busy ocean down there. Maybe they're swimming around, they get a salmon on their head and then people take a picture of it and they go, oh, look, he's wearing it as a hat.

They're very funny. Whales are very funny. Whales are. Whales are goofs. They're goofs. So they've got funny bones. They're the goofs of the sea. I love that one that-

They got funny baleen. I love the one that RFK Jr. saw the head off of. That one's your favorite whale? It's my favorite whale. Was that your favorite before he got sawed? I think so. Or after he got sawed? I can't remember. Well, look, we need to get to our next guest.

Right. It's time for you. It's time for you. Oh, okay, good, good, good. Yeah. Hold on, hold on, I'm not ready. Oh, you're not ready? Okay, no I am, go, go, go. Right. It's time for you. It's time for you. Oh, okay, good, good, good. Yeah. Hold on, hold on, I'm not ready. Oh, you're not ready. Okay, no I am, go, go, go.

Okay. She works in the entertainment industry. She works at Marvel headquarters. Please welcome Lucy Brockheimer. Scott Ackerman. Hi. What is up? Scott Ackerman, Mr. Ackerman, Ackerman. Joe somebody, we're working on a Tim Allen vehicle.

So, if you have any ideas, toss them my way. Send me an email, send me. You see he's playing someone in the Marvel universe? We're working on it, we're working on it. Is he gonna be the tool man? Oh my God, Doctor, how are you? I'm good, honey, how are you doing? Oh, really good, really good, much better now.

Right? Okay. Wait, this is one of your patients? Sometimes. Yeah. I mean, you don't have a constant patient, like a constant potato. Let's just put it this way. I go see the good doctor when I'm ready to go skiing.

That's right. Right? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, I got to vacation with him. If you have like low, feeling low energy. He's working on your foot so you can ski, I get it. Why are you saying it like that? I almost went to the Olympics. You almost went to Ozempik?

What? The Olympics. I almost went to the Olympics. Oh, wow. Yeah. Do you know what it's all like? Yeah. Love it this time of year.

Hello, Frankie, Franklin, what's going on? It's our Chris, Christian. Friend, KB, KB Franklin. Great. I love that. This is so fun. We should do lunch sometime. Tatiana, Ms. Lonnie.

Hi. Yeah. Okay, hey, no hard feelings. No hard feelings. No hard feelings. No hard feelings. Ms. Lani, land before time. We are looking for a vehicle for Littlefoot right now. So if you have any ideas.

Wow. Littlefoot. Now you got my attention. Yeah, you can go ahead and send it to my attorney. Is it too little? Is it too little? Have you seen them before time? No.

Watch it. And then let's come back here this time next week and have a conversation. Do you guys know each other? I mean, you work for Marvel and Tad here was in She-Hole. We've been in a few litigation, you know, conference rooms sort of discussing the details of the- Of the lawsuit that you have against Disney.

But it's fine, it's fine. We go for lunch after. It's so fine. Oh, okay, that's cool. Yeah, yeah. Girl power, right? I'm buying. She's a girl boss, I'm a girl boss. Yeah, I love that about you both. Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, girl power, right? I'm buying. She's a girl boss, I'm a girl boss.

Yeah, I love that about you both. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know you, you and I have never met. We've met four times. We have. Where are- Here, you've had me on the podcast four times. I have?

Yeah. Congrats. I don't remember this. You've had me on the podcast four times. Really? One time we did that whole bit where we were getting in the car and getting back out of the car.

I don't remember it. One time, oh my gosh, one time it was so funny. It was so funny. Remember the fish guy who always talks about the war coming? Aquaman. Oh yeah, really? You were on with that guy? Got sick, wasn't there, and so I filled in.

Oh, I don't know that you were. Okay, but all right, I'll take your word for it. I don't remember everyone on the show. But welcome back to the show, I guess. Thank you so much for that you, okay. But all right, I'll take your word for it. I don't remember everyone on the show. But welcome back to the show, I guess. Thank you so much for saying that, Scott. It means the world. What is going on in Marvel these days? So much, we need money. We need money so bad.

Let's put it this way. We may or may not have a couple of lawsuits floating around. So we are, in fact, we're looking, we're sort of, we like closed up the doors and we said we're running back the amount of content we're making. And then we looked at the numbers and we said,

actually, let's open that back up. Let's expand that a little bit. Yeah, the thing is, is like, you could close right now and you like, you're on top. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but you always want to make more money, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're sort of Nick Caging is what we call it,

where we need money. And so we're doing everything. Too many castles. What do you have plans in the Marvel universe? Let me open my little book. Oh boy. So this is like the plans of the future MCU? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, incredible. So just a little peek, but don't look. Okay, here we go. Are you ready? I'm ready. Are you guys ready? I give you my enthusiastic consent. Okay, okay.

Here we go. The Thunderbolts. Yeah. We know that movie. That's coming out next year, yeah. So here's what we're doing. The lightning claps. So in addition to the Thunderbolts? Yeah, so the Thunderbolts are all really, they're all really young, right?

Not really. It's not like the Teen Titans really, they're all like- What's the one where they're really young? I don't know where, who's really young. Baby's Day Out? Baby's Day Out? Baby's Day Out?

Baby pig in the city? Boss Baby? Boss Baby. Boss Baby Avengers. Isn't there a Baby Avengers where all the Avengers are really little? There is a comic, yes. Except the Baby Pigs.

Okay, so that one, let's call that the Thunderbolts. What's the Thunderbolts? Thunderbolts is villains or characters who- It's like their suicide squad. Occasion occasionally work on the wrong side of the law who are brought together by the government. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, do you know her? Oh, fun. Yep.

So, okay. So this one. So this one, they're old is what their thing is. So that one is all villains. This one, they're all so old and they're heroes. So they're all older heroes who... Are you okay? You seem to be really nervous right now.

Is everything all right? Kevin Feige has my pug. Your pug? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. He kidnapped your pug? Yeah, he does that. Oh no.

He didn't do that to your pug. Why are you whispering? Because he can hear her. You're whispering into the microphone. No, no, no, but I'm just like, cut this part, okay? I don't know that I can. Cut this part. Just cut any of this cut. Cut this part. Cut this part. Cut this part. Cut this part. I can't do that to your pug. Why are you whispering? Because he can hear. You're whispering into the microphone.

No, no, no, but I'm just like, cut this part, okay? I don't know that I can. Cut this part, just cut, I need to cut this part. I don't know that I can. Kevin Feige is my pug. Do da, do da. What's your pug's name? What's your pug's name?

Delicious. Delicious the pug? Oh no, and Kevin Feige stole your pug. pug he's been bred so he's like a show quality breed pug was he entered in dog shows huh why'd you say huh you heard me right i didn't hear you properly i don't know if you have to whisper this i don't know let's all stop whispering maybe you can just talk normal about your dog. Kevin is gonna hear. Did you enter your dog into dog shows? So many, he does not do very well.

But you said he was like dog show quality. He has show quality, but he doesn't have the personality for it. So that's not dog show quality. It's dog show quality in that his parents were both winners of dog shows. He has the quality, but he just doesn't have the star power.

Okay, that's like saying like, oh, my parents were Olympians, so I can be in the Olympics. No, you have to train. That's exactly what happened with me. Oh. Remember how I was Yeah, you said you were, yeah.

Why are you whispering about the Olympics? You can talk normally about the Olympics. No, the Olympic president is gonna hear this. And he's got his. The head of the IOC? He's got my son. They're very legitimate. He's got your son?

Yeah, that's what I call my other bug. Oh, okay. I was gonna say you should be more concerned got this. The head of the IOC? They're very litigious. He's got your son? Yeah, that's what I call my other bug. Oh, okay. I was going to say, you should be more concerned with this. Do not call your dogs your kids. What's the other bug's name? Huh? What's the other bug's name? Why, you must've heard him say,

what's the other dog's name? Jimmy Choo, C-H-E-W. That's cute. Thank you. That is very cute. Anyways, ah, okay. Okay, that's normal. So we got plenty of more really, really fun movies

on the slate. Okay, is it your job to come up with them? Why? Okay, Patti LuPone, are we watching? Agatha all along, she gave up her equity card and then she sort of did a bunch more plays. Okay. Okay, spoiler alert, if you're not watching, and then she sort of did a bunch more plays. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Spoiler alert, if you're not watching, you should be. You should be. I'll give you my Disney Plus login. So that way, if you go to Epcot and hurt yourself, you can't sue us. Okay. Here we go. How are those two things related?

Have you not heard the news stories? No, I haven't. They're using people signing up for Disney Plus to force people into arbitration. Yeah. It's so fun. No, it's a fun part of going to the, and it's actually an asset to signing up.

So you should sign up for yourself, but if not, I'll come to your house and we can watch on my account. Like in the movie Arbitrage? Yes, exactly. Love that movie. Yes, we're looking for a new vehicle for the stars of that movie.

So if you have any ideas, go ahead and- So Richard Gere and the others So Richard Gere and the others. Richard Gere and the others. Okay. Wiccan just got introduced. Obviously Wiccan is Wiccan. Yeah. Idina Menzel is going to be starring as Hul Kling. It's Adelda Zeme. Huh? Adelda Zeme. The wickedly talented Adelda Zeme.

Oh my God. I'm so sorry. The wickedly talented Adelta-Zeme. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. The wickedly talented. So sorry about that. So we got Wiccan and Hulkling and Adelta-Zeme is going to be playing Hulkling's mom. What's a Hulkling? Huh?

Why, are you hard of hearing? What is happening with you? Again, you gave me these headphones and you insisted I wear these and only one of them is working. Switch them around to the other ear. Is that what you were hoping for? Yeah, that's what I was hoping for. Now can you hear us?

I can hear you half, but in a different ear this time. Okay, well, let's see how the results go. What's a hulkling is my question. Wiccan and hulkling. Hulkling is the lover of Wiccan, which is, it's a gay love story. We're taking it over, a real PC, a real feminist icon. You're thinking of the Young Avengers. Huh?

Yeah, I was thinking of the Young Avengers. That's what, okay, yeah. I finally sussed this out. But that, hey, we're onto something new. Okay. Okay, so have you heard of Call Me By Your Name? Wait, what is a Hulkling? Have you never heard of the character Hulkling?

No. Well, it's about to be, sorry, go ahead, Scott. It's far too complicated to explain. But he's really, he's a young Avenger who looks like a young Hulk. He's tiny. Wow, let me see if I can wrap my brain around that. But he's actually a Skrull, Dr. Blondie.

Okay, baby, okay. And he's married to Wiccan. Yes. It's a gay love story for the ages. Here's what's gonna happen. Somebody's named Wiccan? Huh? Are there any characters like named Catholic? Can I use that? Can I write that down?

Are you willing to use that to me right now? I mean, my name is Christian. Oh, that's true. That's true. How do you figure? I don't think it is true. Your name is Franklin. No, it's my name. Franklin is my band, please. Was.

So what's this new show coming out? Okay. So you know, Call Me By Your Name. Call Me By Your Name. Call Me By Your Name. You know, call me by their, call me by their name. Call me by their name. Call me by your name. You know, call me by your name. Have you heard of it? Yes. Peach. Peach. The peach.

The peach that- The cannibal. Okay, spoilers for call me by your name, but someone like sticks their dork in a peach. A what? A whale penis? Their dork? A what? A whale penis? That's the common term for a whale penis, yes. Purnice. Purnice. Are you from the Wild West? a whale, penis, yes. Pernis. Pernis.

Are you from the Wild West? Hey, look at these guys. Pernis over here. I love that. That's a great character for you, actually. Oh, I'd love to play that. I would love you to be, can you be Dr. Xavier's old, old grandfather

in our lightning claps? No, like Professor Xavier? Yes. I thought he was a professor. He is a professor. Okay. Here's what I love about the Marvel universe, honey. Sure.

Is that there's so many doctors. Okay, sure. So many. Name three. Doctor Strange. That's one. Doctor Doom. Doctor Doom, that's two.

Doctor Doomento. Doctor Doomento. And that actually brings me to my next point that I'm so excited about. Doctor Sholm. So you know how Dr. Phil is gonna be playing Dr. Doom.

We want, we think Patti LuPone should do that now. Oh, I like it. I know you already announced he was doing it and everyone was excited and he's making, you know. Exactly, I'm saying Patti LuPone, I'm thinking we're gonna do it for other things. There's a bunch of bisexual teens that are so excited about this on Twitter.

And so here's what I'm saying. We're gonna take Patti LuPone and we're just gonna sort of, we're gonna put her in a mask and put her in a bunch of different things. There's a bunch of bisexual teens that are so excited about this on Twitter. And so here's what I'm saying. We're gonna take Patti LuPone and we're just gonna sorta, we're gonna put her in a mask and put her in a bunch of different things. Perfect. Oh, great. I mean, I love Patti LuPone so much. So that would be very cool.

I love, I saw her on Broadway. Why are you turning so many pages just to get to one idea? I wrote really big. I thought about putting my phone off of silent. Wear paint? Was it wear paint? Yeah.

You saw wear paint? Cause I wanted her to yell at me. Really? Cause I'm a freak. Was it We're Paint? Yeah. You saw We're Paint? Cause I wanted her to yell at me. Really? Cause I'm a freak. Did it work? Or nobody called? I lost my nerve.

Ah. Silence at last minute. Silence of the lamps. Silence of the lamps. Last minute. Silence of the lamps. Let's do a last minute silence of the lamps. Jodie Foster Sutton Foster also on Broadway.

That's right. In the Music Man. Is it a musical? Was in the Music Man now in Once Upon a Mattress, touring straight to Broadway in LA. Oh, love it. Straight to Broadway. Just go straight to Broadway. Straight to Broadway. Straight from Broadway.

Straight to Broadway with you. Near, far, wherever you are. Okay, here we go. Are we ready? I am. Do we have to say we're ready for each idea? End game, but with Muppets. Nobody's cast in the characters you think that they would be cast in.

Okay, so I would think Kermit would be Iron Man. No. Or Captain America. No. Who is he? Who is Captain America? Or who is Kermit? Kermit is the portals. Okay. The portals that everyone steps through to traverse through.

They go through the body of Kermit? Yeah, here's why. Like a chestburster? Kermit said, I want to be the hero of the story and who is the real hero of end game. What's the portal that everybody walked through? Is he alive? Kermit?

Yeah. He's like real. Is he alive in real life? Is Kermit alive in real life? Come on, man. Apparently when they take the hand out of Kermit's body, they have to put a sheet over him because you can't see him at rest.

Like you can't see his body? You can't see his innermost- I've heard talking about hand up his ass. You can't see his inert body. I've heard that someone's hand has to be inside Kermit at all times. So they have a rotating group of people. If he's alive, I can't come up on him.

Like the Eternal Plan, like the Olympics. Yeah. I'm sorry to bring up a sore subject. The Olympics? I don't think so about it. Really? Why would it be sore? Well, because you didn't make it- You were saying that you didn't know how to do this. bring up a sore subject. The Olympics? I don't think so about it. Really? Why would it be sore? Well, because you didn't make it.

You were saying that you didn't know how to do this. I didn't know how to do that. Oh, so now you can hear me? Well, now you're articulating, so now I can understand what you're saying. Oh, okay. There you go. Okay, here we go.

Give me your next idea. And yes, I'm ready. Stop turning your pages. Orca. The movie about the jaws rip off. The comic book villain. Oh, Orca? Orca.

What did you think I said? I thought you said Orca, honey, but there's a movie called Orca. There's a movie, so it's Orca. Blackfish, you know the movie Blackfish? Yeah, Jollicom. We just played some of the documentary. What about Black Hat? New Belize.

Huh? Black Hat? I don't know what that is. You don't know what it is? Starring Thor himself. Who? It's a Michael Mann film. Chris whatever his name is.

Michael Mann's Black Hat. Yeah. Chris Hemsworth. Hemsworth, that's him. Okay, I love that. I don't know what any of this is. Black Phone, Ethan Hawke. Okay.

Black Widow. Black Phone, Ethan Hawke. Black Hawk Down. Black Widow. Black widow. Black phone Ethan Hawke. Black Hawk Down. Black widow. Black beauty horse. Orphan black. Black beauty horse, horse of course. We're looking for a vehicle for the horse.

I think that, I really do think that there's something special there. Super horse. Super horse. Spider horse. Mutant horse. Oh, mutant horse. A member of the Avengers. Horse X.

I kind of love that. Doctor horse. Horsevenger. Double horse. Yes. Double horse. Okay, so I'm loving all of these ideas. If we can, I'm going to pass around some paperwork if you can sign that. I want to figure out double horse. Okay.

I like the sound of this. Let's cook on this a little bit. Double horse. Is he double the strength of a horse or just two horses? Is he two horsepower? Is it like a tandem motorcycle where there's two horses who are? A tandem motorcycle.

Why are there two horses with a motorcycle? So there's a horse and then a sidecar. Do they make tandem motorcycles? Or like the Wells Fargo wagon. They're just together, two motorcycles. That would be like a tandem bicycle, that would be fun. Where one person's doing all the motor. Only one person turns the key.

I really love that. And I think we got to start as an origin story, of course. Horse in a human family doesn't know he's adopted. Sort of goes to school. Everybody's like, you're different, you're different. The horse is like, no, I'm not. Has a heart to heart sit down with his dad. His dad toss him a basketball back and forth.

On the bed, horse can't catch. Because there's something I gotta tell you. Horse can't catch. Horse can't catch. White horse can't catch. They tossing the basketball back forth on the bed? On the bed. Oh, sheets?

No sheets. Ah, I was better bed. Oh, sheets? No sheets. Ah, I'm just gonna pay. Yeah, he loves the sheets. He's a freak for the sheets. What freak for the sheets? Do you think? The horse? I don't have an opinion on the horse.

I'm just saying about Dr. Blondie over here. No, I love this. We will buy this. Marvel will buy this. How much money will this... Sight on C. Is this IP? I guess, yeah.

How much you want? Cheers. I mean, look, Dr. Blondie, you're one of the doctors who could be in the Marvel universe. Do you think there's a Dr. Blondie movie that could happen? Absolutely.

But like his superpowers, he cuts people open. I love that. With a knife. So just sort of a surgeon? Yeah, exactly. Okay. Exactly. But as a doctor, a podiatrist, if you will.

Yes, it sounds like Jack the Ripper. Is this a horror film? Is it? Could have been. It could be. Listen, we're really trying to get into sort of like, it sounds like Jack the Ripper. Is this a horror film? Is it? Could have been. It could be. Listen, we're really trying to get into sort of like- Like Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness? What is Marvel? Marvel can be anything, is sort of what we're saying

these days, we said, what is Marvel? Marvel is anything, send us your script, and we're just gonna, what is Marvel? What is it? Tell us. We'll make whatever. So it's not necessarily superheroes. It could be, well, so it's sort of, here's my thought, right, is it can be like, what if the superhero didn't,

we didn't see any of their, they're a superhero for sure. Cause we're Marvel, so for sure they're a superhero, but we didn't see any of their powers. Wow. So you guys are trying to cheap out on the CGI again? Mm-hmm. Trying to do a kitchen sink drama. Yes.

Oh my God, yes. Like a mumble core sort of double horse. Dark lighting, day for night, night for day. Like that Labor Day movie. Atlanta for Georgia. A true kitchen sink drama. Yes. Where they made the pie over the sink.

What? That's the movie about the convict who escapes and a woman, the lonely woman Dakes are in. Yeah, we're shooting Albuquerque for Cincinnati. We have four days to crank one of these. This doesn't sound good, I have to say. I mean, the Marvel universe, I had to say it around Tatiana over here,

but you're suing them, so what do you care? I mean, they've really slipped. What do you mean? I mean, all the way up to Endgame, it was so good. And then after that, it just seems like, boy, like, just stinkeroo after stinkeroo. So what do you think? What are you expecting? What, we're just gonna read comic books and then just sort of like be true to the source material

and then sort of like have people at the helm that really love the source material? Like, what are you saying? Yes. No. Why? It doesn't sound that hard. Because I went to Yale and I want that job.

You want the job? Yes. But you don't, have you ever read a comic book? Yes. You don't even know who the Thunderbolts are. But I do know who the Lightning Claps are. We've spent a lot of time in sort of researching with kids. They said, don't do it.

And we said, well, what do we want to? So you just went against the research? That's not, I don't know. I mean, there's so much great IP there in the Marvel universe. Like what? Name four things. Well, you know, I just came out with my comic on Thursday,

the first three issues, and I created a few characters. You could maybe mine some. Your comic was so good, Scott. Thank you so much. Well, what is it? What is it? I'm writing Astonishing Spider-Man. Astonishing Spider-Man.

You didn't do that. You invented Spider-Man? He didn't do that. He's lying. I'm not lying. No, it just came out on third in the first three. He didn't make it Spider-Man. What?

I didn't make him up. Bruce Lee made him up. Spider-Man? Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee made up Spider-Man. What is this story that you think? I think it was Jennifer Jason Lee. Lee.

It was Jason Lee. It was Jennifer Jason Lee. Jennifer and Jason Lee. They're Bruce Lee Lee. It was Jennifer Jason Lee. Jennifer and Jason Lee. They're Bruce Lee's parents. Lee Harvey Oswald. Hey Lee Joel Osment. That's right, all the great Lees. Merrill Lee, we roll along.

That's right. Starring Lindsay Mendez. Lindsay Mendez. Mendez Brothers are the latest documentary of... A Deltazim. That's right. Look, these all sound terrible. You don't say. Mendes Brothers are the latest documentary of... Adelda-zeme. Adelda-zeme. That's right. Look, these all sound terrible.

I hate to say that to a guest who comes on the show. I feel like you love saying that to guests that come on the show. What? How dare you. I think you'd take pleasure in it if I'm being honest. You know what? Art is hard, Scott.

Making art is really hard. You're not an artist. It's really difficult. Thank you. Yes, I am an artist. No, you're not. You're just some dumb person who went to Yale. Would an artist fly all the way to London only to get the call that they have to come back

to LA immediately, hop on the plane, leave their entire family in London? Your family's in London? What are they doing? They were in London. And then Kevin Feige took my pug. Oh, but left your family? No, but the pugs are my family.

Is he just babysitting your pug for you while you're here? No, no, no. He stole them. I'm giving him money. To keep him at the guest house. Wait, so it's a ransom situation? No, no, no. I'm paying him.

Speaking of Ron Howard. You're paying him. He said they could only stay until Thursday. Wait, so you're paying him to take care of your dogs? He's like dog sitting. Did you leave like their crate and their food and stuff like that with him? Yeah, he kept them with my crate and food. I gotta say, you seem like the weirdo in this situation.

He's sending you photos that they're okay and they're, he sounds nice. Yeah. Kevin Feige? Yeah. Stole my pugs, you're saying sounds nice. It sounds like he's just dog sitting for you because he, who gave you the call

that you had to come back to LA? My dad. Why, what's going on with your dad? He runs Disney. He runs it, wait, who's this guy? Bob Iger is your dad? Yeah. Wait, are you a Nepo baby?

Me? Yeah. Absolutely. So your Bob Iger's- This notebook has four letters in it. Your Bob Iger's progeny, and you don't know anything about comics, and you think that you're gonna run Marvel? I went to Yale.

Who cares? On a football scholarship, I was the kicker. Ah! How far could you kick? So far, both of my parents were Olympians. Okay, yeah, but how far could you kick? Bob Iger was an Olympian? Yes.

I missed that. When, what did he? He was, it's all like, he didn't compete. He was on the bench. Oh, what? Meaning watching it? Yeah, he was watching it. Okay, that's not an Olympian.

What event was it? Uh-huh. What event was it? Downhill skiing. He was on the bench for downhill skiing. Downhill skiing. Meaning he just watched all the skiers. Like the bench at the top of the mountain or at the bottom of the mountain? He was at the bottom of the mountain. Okay mean, he just watched all the skiers. Like the bench at the top of the mountain

or at the bottom of the mountain? He was at the bottom of the mountain. He had a credential that said ticket. And he just had like a hot chocolate with him. He was like watching the skiers. Yeah. Most Olympians don't actually compete. That's a fun fact that they don't tell you.

90% of Olympians aren't competing. 90% of Olympians are on the bench. There's just like understudies like Franklin over here was for the trumpet. Yeah, exactly. Can I just say, I love your trumpet work and I would love to get you in there. I think there's a vehicle for the trumpet. I've never been in the MCU and you need a stunning, handsome actor. Yeah. So, uh. I love that. We'll call the trumpet if we need that.

Put Franklin in something with Battlebot over here. Yeah. So, uh, I love that. We'll call the trumpet if we need that. I think that's fantastic. Put Franklin something with a battle bot over here. Oh, come on. Battle bot. Yeah, you know, his balls, if you put him in underwear, you're going to have a lot of CG to do. We love that. That's our favorite thing to do.

Can I make one suggestion and this will save you my deadline, flesh colored underwear. Do you think? I wouldn't go for black. No, this is a fun fact that the union makes it, the animation union forces it to be a color that you're gonna have to CGI out of. Wow. Really? And also because on set, they want you to know

this is not his flesh. Right. That actually checks out and makes sense. So people don't get uncomfortable. Like too horny. Like everybody's boners are going, -"Woo-woo-woo!" -"Boo-boo-boo!" Give me those sheets, give me those sheets! Then they see the cover and they know to stand out. It'll get uncomfortable like too horny. Everybody's boners are going Then they see the cover and they know to stand down

Wait, are you looking for a trumpet player just for like the soundtrack or? We this is a superhero like Trumpet man or I see a superhero I see a super boy of Bumbley Bee. What's the- Bitty bitty buga boy of Bumbley Bee. Bitty bitty buga boy of Bumbley Bee. Bitty bitty buga boy of Bumbley Bee. That's how it goes. I love that. Okay, there's something here. There's something here.

There's something here. I can smell it. I can feel it and I can sense it. It isn't exactly clear. Mm-hmm. Buffalo Springfield, right, baby? I love that. I love Buffalo Springfield.

Buffalo Wild Wings. Two of the best. Buffalo New York. If you could listen to Buffalo Springfield Buffalo Bob Cody. while eating at a Buffalo Wild Wings Buffalo Bill. I heard you say eating ass.

New York starts spreading the news. We have to get Patty in more of those things. While eating ass, we have to get Patty. That's the important thing. We have to get Patty with whatever happens here with the Marvel Universe. Maybe a love story? In what capacity?

You and Patty Lepone? Patty Lepone looks at the people. Would you hit that, Christian? Oh. What if it's- Is it the day bright? Hold on a second, hold on a second. What if it's two Patties?

It's Patty and she's got a- Patty for Patty? She's got a clone. Double Patty? And they're both in one of the full moon, they both turn into cows and it's called two all beef patties. It's like two horse. This feels like a double horse.

We're getting into a double horse situation. That's why I'm thinking of that. It's the double horse squeak will. I'm thinking of that because it's double horse and this is the squeak will. I love that. Oven in the chipmunks, we're trying to get a vehicle for them for something.

I really think that that would be great. I mean, Alvin wears that big A on his chest. It's not too far away from a superhero. A superhero. You know, like Captain America has it on his head. I said that technically that was my idea. So I don't need to pay you for the rights for that. I think I said that first.

I think I, we're gonna have to roll back to save our map. I think I said that first. It never occurred to me before, but the A on Captain America's head, that's pretty dumb. America. Hmm. What do you mean? Dumb how?

Elaborate. He's kind of like all the, you know, red, white and blue shit. Why does he need an A on his head? You don't like that? It's gone. We're taking it out. Do you have to CGI it out? Like his balls? Yeah. Yeah, we'll CGI it out. What if you CGI'd his balls on his head?

Okay, fine. Yeah, listen. No, here's our catchphrase at Marvel. No bad idea. No ideas are bad ideas. Scro-tel boy. Scro-tel boy. Scro-tel man. Scro-tel man. Scro-tel man. Scro-tel man. Scro ideas are bad ideas. Scrotal boy. Scroteman. Scroteman. Scrot-Oakerman. Scrot-Oakerman. That's a great character. I guess, all right, I'm in. I'm in. As long as you can CGI

Christian's balls onto my head, and I can be in the Marvel universe. I really want a listener to do that and post. Because what I really want is people sending me more hate on my Instagram. Colicky balls balls. As opposed to the stuff that's just directed at Tad over here that I happen to be getting collateral damage from.

Do you get a lot of hate after coming on here? Hell yeah. Every day. Can I say something? Yes. To the viewer, to the listener. Sure. Whether or not they're viewing or listening,

get a fucking life. Yes. Damn. I feel strongly about that. You work for Marvel and you're telling. Something about that just made me wanna rescind this lawsuit. Really?

But not that one. Okay, yeah, that's fair. Ha ha, that's fair. And then we're gonna get to spend time together. And that honestly is- That's right. And I love- That's what I love. We go out for lunch afterwards and I go, you're paying,

cause I'm gonna need the cash. And then you go, actually you're paying. So then I gotta go in the back and do some dishes. So you think Tasha's gonna win this lawsuit? I think she is too. Oh yeah, no doubt. It's gonna be bad. Because obviously Reynolds just fired you

because of sexism, right? Right. Yeah. Yours. Can confirm my sexism. Yeah. I can confirm that. Can you get over that?

I don't think that's the lawyer for Disney. Did you not think? Yeah, you probably shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said that? Yeah. Okay. Well, what do I do? I don't think that's the point. Did you not think? Yeah, you probably shouldn't have. I shouldn't have said that? Yeah. Okay. Well, what do I do? I said it already.

Can you cut this part? Cut that part. I can't cut anything. I'm so sorry. You know what you got to do? Here's how you make it right. You got to switch to Mint Mobile. And I'm sorry.

I don't wish that on anyone. What do you have to do? He doesn't own that anymore. What happened? I think he sold it. He's still doing the commercials. You see? I'm pretty sure I saw an article that he sold that.

What's up with this guy? Who'd he sell it to? R. Reynolds? Yeah. Josh Hartnett? He's busy. He's on tour for that Blake Lively movie. Blake Lively. Blake Lively. Do you know the Blake Lively movie?

He's on tour with Blake Lively. The one where they hate each other? Yeah. In real life? Yeah. That has a character called Ryle. That was my takeaway from the trailer. Ryle.

Look, we've done all character names. We need some new names in movies. We need to make up names. Ryle, that's great. I mean, we're talking to someone named Lucy right now. Why are you turning your pages again? Do you have more ideas? More announcements?

VW Golf. The car? The car, yeah. We're gonna see you hide into all of the existing properties. Okay. Is the VW Golf still an ongoing concern? So here's the thing. The diesel version?

We'll do the diesel. With the refar? I mean, either of them. Because here's what we're thinking, right? Is that if we CGI the CGI Golf into all vehicles. CGI Golf? Into all vehicles. If you CGI the CGI Golf into every vehicles. CGI golf? Into all vehicles.

If you put it inside of CGI BW Golf into every single Marvel property, we can re-release it as a new show. So this is like end game, the CW Golf version. What are we talking about? CW, CGI Golf version. I love that cereal. I love when VW and CW merged.

Yeah, when they worked together. And last but not least, Blade. I mean, some day. But. But what? We're going to release it into 45 to a minute and a half segments on TikTok. This is great. Blade, but.

Blade, but. It's called Blade, but. Blade, but. Blade's, but. Blade, but. We're going to release it in tiny little increments on TikTok. Yeah. Okay.

Out of order. So you're not remaking it with Mahershala Ali. No, no, no, that movie. With who? We're doing that movie. Mahershala Ali. That movie that is there. Look, I, He would admit it's hard to say, right?

Can I tell you a secret? Especially off the cuff. Mahershala Ali. Mahershala Ali. Mahershala Ali. It's the A going into the A, Mahershala Ali. Mahershala Ali. The A to A.

In the gap. Muhammad Ali, he had the right idea. You can just go Muhammad Ali. What about Tatiana Ali? Mahershala Ali. Mahershala Ali. The A to A. In the catch. It's complicated. Muhammad Ali, he had the right idea. You can just go Muhammad Ali. What about Tatiana Ali? Mahershala Ali. Mahershala Ali. Tatiana Ali. Mahershala Ali.

Mahershala Ali. What about Tatiana Ali? Yes. Tatiana Ali. That's got the same AA. Big Mikaela. Who? An actor.

An actor who'd send in a lot of unrequested tapes. They could be on the MCU? No, they will never be in the MCU. Rick Vysalis? Rick Vysalis? I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Rile who? Hmm.

Haircare products. What, so this is a new idea or have you changed subjects? We're gonna do a line of haircare products. Okay. And then sort of we're gonna write, we're gonna, if you buy it, there's gonna be a couple of pages of the script on the, you know how you can open up the, the label of the bottle.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I love doing that. I love doing that. Marvel presents the label of the bottle of hair care products. And it's going to be a, it's actually a property we're really excited about. When you said hair care products, I thought it was the new Pixar.

Huh. Can I have that? And it's all, it's shampoo. It's mousse. It's a hair spray. Conditioner. And do they have like different personalities or are they just all kind of the same kind of thing? No, they all have different personalities.

Based on what they do. Toy Story about haircare products? Mousse is like very fancy. Gel. Mousse is French for sure. French. Hairspray does what? Hairspray keeps everybody together.

Oh, I love that. Is this more cars where it is a world where the hair care products. There's no humans only. Or is it a toy story where the hair care products only come to life when people are gone? It's a cars. It's a cars. It's where like hairspray goes to like a big stadium

and then they watch hairspray getting into, on top of other hairspray. Do you wanna know if, oh thank God. Grill cream is there. It's exactly like cars. Hey, I'm the pomade. Okay, that's fun.

How you doing, I'm pomade. That's really fun. Do you wanna know a fun fact? The movie Planes, which is a movie in our suite of movies, tackles World War II. And was there a different outcome? Canonically, no, same outcome. It enters World War II into the Cars universe.

Love that. That is a fact. There's gonna be a lot of death in that. World War II. And we see a very fiery plane crash. In a world where there are no cars, no humans. Dead planes. And there are only cars and vehicles.

This is great narration. Undoubtedly a World War II situation would have come up. Planes really revolves, has a large US Army subplot. Are they sponsors? Probably. So there's a United States. No, it's not, it's the Navy. But no humans, right?

No humans, this is the Cars universe. Is there plane Hitler? There has to be, it canonically adds, and stolen valor is a big thing in planes. Anyways, that's my favorite movie. So I wanted to sort of- Planes is your favorite movie? Planes is my favorite movie.

How many movies have you seen? It's over at Disney, it's all of our favorite movie. Really? Yeah. Everybody agrees. Everyone agrees, we sent out a poll. Nice. This is a kids movie? Yeah. Everybody agrees. Everyone agrees. We sent out a poll. Nice.

This is a kids movie? Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, you'd like it to be a four quadrant, but. What do you mean? The four quadrants of the foot. Do you know what the four quadrants are? You know what the four quadrants are?

I know, explain it. Bone. The foie gras quadrants. Bone, sinew, skin. Funny. Under dermis. Oh, four quadrants of the foot. I know that, that's on the poster in your office.

Yes. Which I make everybody look at until they see the magic picture. We have to do the pledge like at the Girl Scouts. That's right. What is the, I've never seen, I've never been able to discern what the magic picture is. I know, it makes me sad, baby, because it's such a fun picture. Is it really? And I wish you could see it.

You can't see it? Do you need glasses? Oh, that might be part of the problem. You might go to the glasses guy. Oh, you're not the glasses guy? This is the thing. I know a little bit glasses guy. Oh, you're not the glasses guy? This is the thing. I know a little bit about the eye, like you can't poke it. I think doctors should do everything.

Because it pisses me off I gotta go to different guys. General practitioner you're looking for. Yeah, but I mean, I want him to cover every single part of the body. I want him to do the eyes, I want him to do the teeth. Jack of all trades, master of none. It can be a her too, Scott. It can be a her too.

Meh. It's like the doc from Deadwood. He was the only doctor. Yes, exactly. And then in the final season, he has tuberculosis. Then 13 years later, they make the movie. He's fine. Yep.

People can get over that. Especially if you're a doctor. Heal thyself, it's why they say it. Yeah, he's had like a weekend of tuberculosis. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Well, look, Lucy, I don't like any of these ideas. I don't think the fans will. Okay, hey, Farrah, and thank you for the feedback. Sure, you're welcome. Because that's how you get better, is you listen to critique and you listen to feedback. And so thank you. Lucy, I, sure. Well, look, Lucy, I don't like any of these ideas. I don't think the fans will. Okay, hey, Farrah, and thank you for the feedback.

Sure. Because that's how you get better, is you listen to critique and you listen to feedback. Lucy, I like all of them. And thank you for that feedback. So we did green light all of them already. So I hear you and I thank you and it's nothing we can't fix in post is what I always say to everybody who's worried about how the film is going. All right, so let's look for these.

How soon are they coming out? And which one am I in? So we're gonna send you a call sheet. It's gonna be three days. We are shooting Athens, Georgia for Atlanta, Georgia. And it's- Why? Why? Just shoot in Atlanta.

It looks cheaper. Can't, I'm not allowed back there. So it's- What happened? You don't wanna know. I do, that's why I asked. Okay, so you know the Olympics that happened there? I do. You keep bringing it up,

but yes, we know what the Olympics are. I was born there. You were born in the Olympic Village? I was born, yeah, in the Olympic Village. The one that got bombed? Richard Jewell was playing for it. Is that what happened there? You didn't hear about this?

No, I was too busy. There's a whole movie by Clint Eastwood about it. Crazy, is it a Disney property? No. Haven't seen it. It's not. That's why. Haven't seen it. So Bob Iger and his wife, whoever she may be, Mrs. Iger, we'll call her. Claudia. Claudia Iger.

Are boning in Olympic Village, or no, they had to bone nine months before. But at the Olympic Village, they sort of did a tour. Ironically, they just carried it over into the birth. Well, they were building it at the time, maybe. Yeah, and this was Summer Olympics, so they were just going as spectators. Oh, Well, they were building it at the time maybe. Yeah. And this was summer Olympics. So they were just going as spectators. Oh, okay.

So they boned to the winter Olympics and gave birth during the summer. Yeah. Wow. Incredible. Messy. Messy, shit, Bob Iger. Messy was there? He's not allowed back there. Lionel Messy was there?

Wow. Yeah. Is that his name? Amazing, Lionel Richie Messy. Yeah. Fun fact, he kicked a ball at my head and I headered it right back to him. Nice. Incredible. That is fun. Did you score a goal? Yeah. Fun fact, he kicked a ball at my head and I headed it right back to him. Nice. Incredible.

That is fun. Did you score a goal? Yeah, yeah. And that's part of why I'm not allowed back because it was one of those things where if a newborn scores a goal, it doesn't count. And then they ran out of time to try and score it themselves. Oh, I'm so sorry.

It's like when you catch a ball at a baseball game, too low and then it doesn't count as a home run. If you catch a ball at a home run too low at a baseball game, and you throw it home and you get the guy out, does it count? You get a jersey. You get a jersey. You have to be wearing a hat of the correct team. Okay.

It has to have an A on it. And before they catch the ball, they have to run over so that way you can sign some free agency paperwork. I haven't heard you complaining about the Oakland Athletics with the A's on their heads, but suddenly Captain America looks stupid. Yeah, he's stupid. All right. I'll say it to anyone who cares to listen.

Captain America is stupid. Would you say to the Oakland Athletics? No, they're dumb. They're dumb? They're dumb too. What about the Vegas Athletics? They're now the Vegas Athletics. Is that true?

The VAs? The VAs. Are they staying athletic? Honey, I gotta go down to the VA. I'm not lying. I'm just going down to the biggest athletics game. That's a good one. I like that, baby.

That's funny. I like that. I like that, baby. Hey, listen, I love all these notes so much. Thank you so much for your time. I love you. Is that true? He says it's all right.

I love all my patients. Okay, Mary B. I love all my patients. Yeah. Right, okay. All right, look, we are running out of time, but we only have time for one final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called Plugs. Hey, hey, you, fucking blokey man.

Listen to these plugs. I like it action. I like it action. Where were you, dicks? I like it action. Some of them are good. So I was getting a tough job from my friend Ronnie Check out all the stars My penis date bit

My p-p-penis date bit Even if it's stars Roll! My p-p-penis date bit Listen to these lones Listen to these lones My peniset action. Listen to these vlogs. My penis, where were your dicks? Blanket action.

My penis, where were your dicks? Blanket action. My penis, where were your dicks? Listen to these vlogs. Blanket action. Blanket action. Blanket action. Jesus Christ.

Wow. That was Blanket Ejection by Tragedy Bang Gang. Thank you so much to Tragedy Bang Gang for that plug theme. If you have a plug theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and upload it and get all the elements you may need in order to create it. And guys, what are we plugging here? Of course, January Q1.

I didn't say that. I said Q1. You did say Q1, which is probably more than you should have said, but news didn't get out at that point, didn't make the headlines. Yep. So we're trying to up the ante here, get people interested in The Constant Potato. And that comes out next year.

Season two of Constant Potato. Netflix. And of course, The Monkey. Yep. February. The month right after. Is it called the monkey? Yeah.

Oh, cute. February 14, when's it come out? Does the monkey get shocked? February, yeah, for all the monkeys out there. Shock the monkey. That's what I'm asking. And you get killed in it or do you, what happens? Scott, no.

Can I ask you? No, I survived to the end. Yes, you can ask me. Are there sheets? Huh? Are there sheets? There's a few freaks. And they, bowering their sheets.

Alright. Alright. One please. You actually are handed a sheet when you walk into a movie, and I won't tell you why. Oh, amazing. But you're gonna need it. Okay. Bill Blondie, Dr. Blondie, what do you want to plug here?

Saturday, November 23rd, Charleston, South Carolina, at the Charleston Music Hall, paulifttomkins.com slash live. These are some things I have said, baby. All right. And Lucy Brockheimer. No, please. Can I plug one more thing? I'm sure you want to take Lucy's plugs? Yeah, Lucy, do you mind? No, please, please, please.

Since we're in this litigation. Absolutely, no, there you are. Thank you. Rhode Island Comic Con convention that I will be appearing at. Come and take a picture with me. So you're going to one of these Comic Cons. I am.

And you're gonna face these crowds who are so rude to you online because they're cowards in person. The nice people come to the con. That's my opinion. Is it? Yes, is that the nice people are all at the con and these cowardly freaks sit there.

The keyboard warrior. Yes, sit there. Who wouldn't know what to do with a sheet if it slapped them in the face. And they don't even like these Marvel things. They just, they like to go around spreading their hate. You sound like you're really into these guys. I love them. They're fucking freaks.

Tre- Let me ask you, Treteria, are you gonna put any Vaseline on your eyelids? Oh, yeah, to get that shiny little, -"I'm a cutie girl look." -"That's right." -"I'm goofy or Pluto from the cartoons." -"I love that." Wait, what does that do? Doesn't that just hide... Your eyelids hide when your eyes are open, so what's the Vaseline gonna do?

Because you bat your eyes at people and you make them lose their minds. I just write love you on my eyelids, L-U-V-Y-O-U. Graham, the adults are talking. You know what? I'm gonna let Lucy have some plugs, even though you took hers. Sorry, Lucy.

You didn't say dates though. Oh, right, November. November. Cause I wanna come. I wanna get a picture with you. November 2nd and 3rd. 2nd and 3rd, and this is in Rhode Island? Yes.

And you're gonna be there both days and you'll take pictures? Yeah, if you're lucky. Do you get to dress up like She-Hulk or what do you do? I get to, I want to. Awesome. You're wearing those Hulk hands and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love it.

But on my head. Yeah, good. And my feet. Wow. All right, Lucy. Now you talk. Plug away. Okay, so hey, I just want to plug my charity if I can. It's called Doggie Smile for Miles,

where we get show quality pugs and braces. Embrace, okay. Just really, really fix those teeth in the hopes that maybe they will win. I thought you meant leg braces for a second. I thought you meant M braces. And look at that, and that's the beauty of the charity. Whatever's gonna get you money out of your pockets

and into my pugs little paws. Uh. You can go ahead and take. And girlfriend, I will be at that Comic Con convention. I'm gonna come in, I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna come and support. Great. Come and support ya. Come in, come and listen and uh.. I'm gonna come and support. Great. Come and support ya.

Come in, come and listen and- We'll get a Cobb salad. Okay, wow, we'd love that. We'd love that. And maybe you pay this time with some of that Comic Con cash. Or maybe you pay. Or maybe I do some dishes in the back. So I feel really good about that.

Wonderful. Any other plugs? Pass. Okay. Well, I wanna plug, hey, we have a big, huge LA show coming up December 13 at the United Theater and Broadway. Oh, that's the other show that you backed out of

was our last LA show. I was sick. Don't worry, the cavities are bigger in my face now. Good. It's a huge comedy bang bang show. Hey Randy podcast is opening for us. This is Hey Randy and Comedy Bang Bang together. December 13th, that's a Friday.

We're going to make this the last big blowout show of the year, trying to make it the ultimate comedy bang bang show. Big show. Big show. A lot of your favorites will be here. Going to need some foot powder. Uh, yeah. Where are you? Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Okay. Oh, no, that's not what I thought. I thought you meant powder for my foot. No, I'll give you both. Oh, okay. I hope I don't mix them up what you mean. Cocaine? Oh, no, that's not what I thought. I thought you meant powder for my foot. No, I'll give you both. Oh, okay. I hope I don't mix them up. The foot powder is cocaine.

Oh, okay. Then it doesn't matter if I mix them up. So tickets are on sale right now. They just went on sale on Friday. Head over to cbbworld.com slash tour for a link. And this is gonna be our big show. We saw the couple of shows before then. We're doing a show tonight in, where are we tonight?

We're in Red Bank, New Jersey. So come see us tonight at Red Bank, New Jersey. And those are- If you're one of the Sopranos, you get in for free. That's right. As long as you bring all of the trash that you pick up in your waste pit. If your last name is Walnuts,

you have to sit right in the front row. So yeah, we want everyone to come to that show. It's gonna be a really big one in LA at the end of the year. And if you wanna listen to all of the shows that we've done this year, the 43 live shows this year, you can go over to CBBworld.com, sign up for our Maximus tier,

and you can get all of those, listen to all of those. I honestly think this artistically, it's been our best tour. Some really great shows up there and you're gonna wanna hear all of them. Disagree. Disagree, all right, interesting. And I mentioned it before,

but I have a new Spider-Man comic coming out every week called Astonishing Spider-Man and you can get that on Marvel Unlimited. The first three issues are out right now and I think you can read them for free now. So- Does anyone in the comic ever say, that's astonishing?

I don't wanna spoil it, but maybe. Hehehe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for blowing up my spot, but yeah, quite possibly.

I don't have to read it now. It's not a word you hear that often. I guess I was just curious. I apologize to everybody. Well, you know not a word you hear that often. I guess I was just curious. I apologize to everybody. Well, you know, a character who has a more fancy way of speaking might say it, so. Like Mr. Magoo.

Yep, Mr. Magoo is very well known for his fancy talk. When's his movie coming out? He had a movie, Leslie Nielsen was in it. Preach. Oh, rest in peace. That's true, rest in peace, Mr. Magoo. He died at the end. Yeah, he died at the end of the movie.

Both of them, simultaneously. They had a card, this is canonical. Mr. Magoo is dead. It's incredible. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Open the plug bag. Oh, please. What's in there?

Open up the plug bag, oh please, what's in there? Open up the plug bag, everybody join in and open up Open the plugs Open up the plug bag, everybody join in and open up There's no time to close the plug cause it's time to Open it up like another day, the little baby opens up the air And that's how you open the freaking plug bag. Enjoy and tell me your plug. One, two. Mmm, gorgeous.

Reminds me of the time when I was a kid. I remember that time. I remember that time. I remember that time. I remember that time. I remember that time. I remember that time. I remember that time. I remember that time. And that's how you roll with a freaking flow, man. Enjoy and tell me your love. Mmm, gorgeous. Reminds me sort of of the Olympics theme. Reminds me. It reminds me. How so?

It reminds me of, you know, it's finally Saturday, the work week is done, you're relaxing, listen to some music, and then your neighbors have kids and they're playing in the yard. Yeah. It's fun. For the kids. For the kids, it's fun. But I mean, it's fun for you to know that human beings are

enjoying themselves out there. Disagree, baby. So you don't like knowing that human beings are having a good time? I don't care, I guess. You don't care? Really? I don't get anything out of that. So you're just purely transactional

with all your relationships? Yeah. Would we still hang out if I didn't pay you to be my doctor? Oh my God, no. Really? I like to think that we have a relationship now. Because I'm your doctor and I care about you

and you pay me. Is that why you keep showing up to my shows? This doesn't count as a doctor's visit, right? I don't have to pay for this. No, we discussed your health. Ugh. I'm already paying tat 50 grand to be on this show. That sounds like a YP and not an MP.

Oh God. All right. Remind us me what you're paying me to be on this show? Uh, you get scale, I believe. Oh, fuck. Or from Black Pearls. Hot cast scale. Hot cast scale, geez.

You don't have to pay me anything, I'll just sort of transfer you a lawsuit. I don the show. Hot Cascade. Hot Cascade, geez. You don't have to pay me anything. I'll just sort of transfer you a lawsuit. I don't think you can just transfer lawsuits. You can just sort of take over one and then we'll just sort of. No. Look out. And clean from there.

Tatiana's not going to be suing me. I don't know. Oh, I love that. Yeah. You're going to sue me after this show? Something about the way the light's hitting your face right now. Oh. You're just, you're lawsuit happy.

You're using lawfare. That's right. Me thinks the lady doth remindeth too much. Well guys, I wanna thank you so much. Look, Tatt and Christian, so great to have you both on. Thanks for, you know, getting together this very important episode where we rebutted everything that I said that was really rude about Tatiana last week. It cleared it all up and I'm not gonna get any comments.

Clarified the music man for everybody once and for all. Made news about your involvement with Disney and the lawsuit against them. I'm really happy about that. Oh yeah, a little she-hole right there. Grr, art. Sounded out about Ryan Reynolds selling Mint Mobile. That's right, yeah, it's good to hear about that.

That was news that Lucy brought to us, of course. Yeah, that was sort of important. That was Lucy news. That was top line of why I wanted to come on today. So thank you, Lucy, thanks for coming and letting us know about Ryan selling Mint Mobile. Hey, thank you, and hey, check your smoke detectors. Oh!

Why would you say that? What do you mean? Well, it's just we had a guest last week who wanted us to check our smoke detectors. Oh no, that's just like a thing that I say on the way out. So like a spay and neuter your pets kind of, Bob Barker kind of thing? Yeah.

Are they your fire detectors? Bob Barker is my hero. Yeah, fire detectors is what she was talking about. No, no, no, and I'm smoke detectors. That was another life. I don't wanna talk about it. Oh, all right. And hey, you know, Dr. Blondie, good luck with the mall shop.

I love you. I love you. I love you even though you're wrong about the Music Man stuff. And let me just, let me be charitable, could be wrong. I think it's open for interpretation. I think that my interpretation of the events makes more sense than this bunch of yokels figuring out where to. I think you're helping them out.

And I think that's nice, but baby you're dead wrong. All right, well, let's hear a little Franklin's fault to take us out. Oh my God. Fuck. We'll see you next time. Thanks, bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye!