Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - That is All (John Hodgman, Connor Ratliff, Griffin Newman, Patty Guggenheim)

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

This week, John Hodgman joins Scott to discuss being the "Radar" O'Reilly of the PC world, boldly asking for drugs, and owning a boat. Then, James Cameron and Jake Sully visit to promote "Avatar: Fire and Ash" as well as wet movies in general, and entrepreneur Kitty Sea-Joy Sage drops by to share some products.  Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I'm a comedy bang bang, bang, comedy bang, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang. Comedy, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang. I'm all in on crypto. Crypta corpses I dress up as my family, that is. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Uh-huh. Thank you to Side of McGee. Cash-Rae Superstar, Side of McG for that submission. Don't think it's going to stick, but thank you so much, Side of McG. We love everything you do.

Catch-phrase related. I have no idea what you do in your spare time. Other than this, I hope you're not getting paid for this. I know I'm certainly not paying you for these, but maybe I should throw a little something his way. A little walking around money. A little lettuce for his tomato. I don't know. Anyway, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week.

We have a great episode coming up a little later. We have a couple of deep sea adventurers. We also have an entrepreneur. Yes, entrepreneurs are back on Comedy Bang Bang. We stopped having them on for a little while because everyone wanted to be an entrepreneur. And then the contraction of not only show business, but I think America's economy has now meant that entrepreneurs are few and far between. But we have one back on Comedy Bang Bang. For a while, we only had small business owners.

And then we've now widened out to have entrepreneurs. And our first guest is akin to an entrepreneur in the sense of he probably has a loanout corporation. Oh, you're so right, Scott. What is that? But may I ask what yours is called? Is that my loan out corporation? Is that giving away anything? It's certainly very relatable.

It is that is all incorporated. That is all. That is all incorporated. Is that something you say a lot and I'll introduce you in a second? It is how I used to end every sentence. That is all. Boy, that's a trip back through time for me. It's been a while.

Is that akin to a telegram where they had to say stop at the end of every sentence? That is how Radar O'Reilly ended all of his broadcasts on the television show, MASH, that is all. The Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, of course, is what we're talking about for those of you who weren't around when that show was on the air. That's the one. That is all. And did you feel a kinship? And I will certainly introduce you in a moment. You don't have to.

With the character, Radar O'Reilly, or perhaps the actor Gary Berghoff. Talking about Gary Berghoff, who played Charlie Brown and the original off-Broadway production of your good man, Charlie Brown. Of course, yes. Yeah, no, Radar O'Reilly. Oh, I see. So that is the character that you like. No, I liked them both. I liked them both.

You are. I am akin to, you mentioned a kinship. I am definitely akin to round-faced the spectacle nerds of all types. That's right. Our guest, of course, when he describes himself thusly, we know who it is, but let me fill you in on a little bit of background. He, of course, played the, were you, it's so hard to tell these days. Were you the cool computer? Or were you the stuffy old PC?

I was the Radar O'Reilly, which is the PC of the PC world. Okay. I guess that makes sense. And a series of Apple computers that came out before you were born. Commercials, yes. You were with Justin Long in that, and you guys are equally as cool, so I can't tell who was supposed to be cool. But he was slightly younger at the time. And now I believe he is caught up to me.

Strangely so. I believe he is caught up to me. We also know him from the Judge Sean Hoffman podcast. Please welcome John Hodgman. That is all. That is all. Welcome. How are you? You know, Justin Long was in that movie Barbarian. He was.

Great movie. Yeah. Yeah, and I was originally cast as the monster. Although I do know who was cast. But I was allergic to the latex makeup. Interesting. That is interesting. That is interesting.

I do know the person castes. I mean, I don't know when. Jesus fucking Christ! Well, the thing is, you keep you caught already. The thing is, I don't know when you stopped talking because you don't say that as all. All right. All right. But you said that as all to indicate that you would stop talking and then I started.

The question isn't when I stop. It's when I start. Do you want me to say this is, that is all when I. start? Oh my God. Now he's not talking at all. I'm just waiting for you to finish. That is all. Great. You should not say it at all, actually.

Because it's awkward and it's my IP. So that is all. Okay, thank you. I was waiting to jump in there. I do know the person cast as the monster used to do comedy in sketch groups back in the day. Is that so? That is so, yes. I didn't know. I was, as you know, I am off or only. Are you yawning in the.

middle of your answer or constantly? I'm so happy for that person. I was allergic to the makeup, much like Buddy Ebson was allergic to the tin man. That's right. And the wizard vase. That's right. And there weren't enough stimulants to give him that he would feel better about it. So they had to recast.

That was how it worked in the old days, wasn't it? Do you wish your show business was still like that where whatever part you got, they figured out a drug cocktail to give you to make you give a good performance? When I was shooting the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the ads in which I played the PC and Justin Long played the Mac and Tosh computer and the Mac and Dodge Apple computer ads. I mused aloud one time whether anyone on set had any drugs they could give me because it was my first experience with Hollywood. I had done nothing. I had done zero acting before them. How did you even get these? Were you some sort of a rock on tour doing

live shows or you were the written word perhaps? I had just started doing comedy on the daily show with John Stewart a thousand years ago. So that's really your first foray into show business. Yes, but that was, I was seated at a desk. Oh, this is your first standing role. At first I'd ever stood on camera. Even though you started doing stand-up. Isn't that interesting? Never did stand-up until I was standing up on camera.

Before that, I was a seated recant-on-turned, honestly. And most New York comedy nights, I would sit down. And normally, I wouldn't ask this much info about someone's background, but you brought nothing to plug. Why not? It's an interview. So how did you get that job at the Daily Show? So I had written a book.

I am primarily a written humorist. Of course, I remember your book, Vacation Land. Yeah, that's... In stores now. The second to the most recent one. Vacation land and medallion status, both available in paperback now. I've read them both. Thank you very much.

Yes. But I started writing three books of absurd humor of the areas of my expertise, more information than you require, and a third book called That Is All. That is All. And, well, I continue, actually, so it's not all. Okay, good. I almost jumped in there. But I wrote this first book of absurd humor or the areas of my expertise.

He's now on the Daily Show as a guest, and we had a good time making funny jokes together, I suppose. And this is John Stewart at the time? John Stewart at the time. That's right. And what is he now? Oh, okay. And so you guys had such a good time that you got a semi-regular gig. They invited me to come back in.

Well, they said, would you like to try to be back on the show? And I said, sure, I can be the resident expert on the show, like the Tweedy intellectual that they bring in to explain. complex things. Things, yeah, that's always better. Just substitute whatever you want to say. Consent is what I was looking for that. And I came in and

as the resident expert and they were like, would you like, can you do 750 words on nuclear proliferation in Iran by Monday? And I'm like, of course. And I did. And they said, bring a suit. We might put you on television. And they did. And then very soon after that, I was asked to audition for those ads and I did.

And you auditioned for these ads. I did audition for the... Who else was in the mix? Do you remember this? Everyone. Really, like everyone who was in New York comedy at the time? Yes. Yeah.

I mean, that's what I've heard since then. And you're victorious. Well, I mean, but look, everything comes around. I thought I got that monster role in Barbarian. Yeah, that's true. But I got dinged. Very similar to Nick Offerman's stories about how he was in the... What was that show?

He did? Parks and Recreach. And then they were still, even though he got it, I think they still had auditions or something. like that and everyone or maybe everyone was talking about like they had auditions that's right right in a green room once and he knew we got it and didn't feel like and didn't want to say anything didn't want to say anything yeah very interesting but i had asked on the set literally on the set of the applads i'm like does anyone like this is hollywood right the way i have to say very interesting after i say something that is dreadfully boring just to spice things up and it's almost

like hypnosis for the power of suggestions people are going to be going around you know it's very interesting scott ockerman and his incredible anecdotes about Nick Offerman's career. Very interesting. Well, Nick doesn't have a podcast talking about this shit. I have to. Hang on a second. Where do I find the share button on this podcast so I can send it to all my friends?

I just heard a very interesting anecdote from a very interesting man. Are you a share fan, by the way? Speaking of share. I love to share. I'm talking about the singer, of course. Silkwood. I love Silkwood. Silkwood.

You love Silkwood. It's a fine film, by all accounts. Yes. But for someone to be like, Like, I love Silkwood. Well, you have to realize that I was, I think, 10 or 11 years old when Silkwood came out. So it was marketed directly at May.

Sure, of course. And Moonstruck, I saw Moonstruck. Amazing in Moonstruck. Outdoors at the hatchhell in Boston, the hatchhell, the amphitheater by the Charles River. Say, very interesting. That's very interesting, that love. It certainly is.

Here's a fun story. And then I asked for drugs on the set of the Appalads. and no one had any for me. And this was a semi-serious suggestion. I passed it off as a joke, but my hope was that someone would hand me a bag of drugs. And then I would tell that story on the road when I would transition to my own imitation of stand-up comedy

and tell stories while standing up in various theaters around the country, and I was in Raleigh, North Carolina, at the Carolina Theater. Of course, know it well. It's a great and very interesting theater. And this story you'll find very interesting. Scott, I know you will, because I'm telling the story about how I got, I didn't, couldn't get any drugs. And I would say every stop along with where I'm like, so does anyone have any drugs now, they should hand them to me.

And no one wants to give me drugs because I look like a narc. Like I'm just, I'm narc. Also, it's their drugs. Like they bought them. But I'm supposed to be in show business. I never expected to be in show business or in Hollywood. You thought when you got into show business, people are just passing you free drugs all the time? People will be handing me drugs.

Drugs are expensive. I know, but isn't that what used to happen? They would give. So I was like. Like, someone give me drugs, please. And it got very bold by the end of the tour. I was just like, I'm not joking. Please.

In the signing line, someone give me drugs. And so at the end of this one, there's a tour to the end of the tour. And I went out to the lobby. And before I hit the signing line, a woman and her boyfriend take me aside. He goes, I have something for you. I'm like, great. This is just a little something for the rest of your tour. I think you might want this on the road, if you will.

Okay. And John's winking, by the way, as he says this. I did my best anyway. Not a natural winker. It was more of a blink, to be honest. Let me give it a try. Yeah, that's two eyes is a blink. Okay.

I was trying to wink, though, right? Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, you got, no. Okay, well, one, yeah, that one stayed open. All right, I'll focus on my right. Okay. In any case, very interesting anecdote. She hands me this really skanky-looking envelope.

What makes an envelope skanky-looking? Well, it's like, it's like a letter. envelope, right? But it's been wrapped around something that's not a letter. So, like, there's a little package of something inside. Got it. Got it. And then it's been folded over kind of nervously. We want envelopes to be

fresh and pristine and to be flat as Stanley. Actually, you know what? That's very true about me. I feel a little unnerved. Anytime when you see a folded up envelope, the trouble of brewing. That's why I can't watch below deck anymore because they're always handing over their tips in those envelopes. Are you interested in below deck? I am. I'm a

below deck. Okay, Jack Quaid and I are going to start a blow deck podcast. I would like to be on it. I'm sorry, that was an invitation. I apologize. I'll take it back and play hard to get. That was just merely interesting information. Good for you.

I hope you have a good time with it. Sounds like it would be very interesting. That is all. Well, you. Oh, so she hands me in this envelope, if I may. You may. You may. Is it wrapping up at any time soon?

Yes. Here it is. I'm so excited. Big finish. I'm afraid I'll be arrested in the lobby. So I shove it in my pocket. And then I get out of the thing. And I go,

meet my friends and yours Phil Morrison and David Reese who were having dinner somewhere. And I'm like, that finally happens. Someone gave me drugs. And I open it up. It's lens wipes for my glasses. A hundred of them. What? It was a mean joke.

Oh, so it was an intentional joke? I don't know what her intention was. I mean, they were very useful. I did use them to clean my glasses for sure. So actually, it came in handy. It did come in handy. And also, I huffed them for a while. And I got a very.

A hundred of them will give you something. Yeah. If you put them all together and then, and then put them in a paper bag, you get a little something. So if you ever done drugs since, I have done, I have, well, I've been doing drugs all my life, my lifelong asthmatic. Okay. I have a, I have a variety of exotic inhalers.

I'm always on something. I'm always on something. You have an inhaler that has a picture of a woman in a bikini, and then when you turn it upside down to breathe in, the bikini goes away. Yeah, well, that's something I, I modded, I modded my inhaler custom that way. But yeah. If I mentioned my inhaler, maybe they'll give me free ones. Bres tree aerosphere.

Bres tree aerosphere. It's officially for chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, but I know a guy. This is now a big-time Hollywood guy, even though it's not for asthma. So you are technically getting some drugs. I am. They call me Johnny Illicit, that is all. So the anecdote is officially wrapped up. That is all. I said it.

Okay, wonderful. I'm done now. This is why when you beg me to be on the show, unsolicited, That's right. I said, I got to have him on. He tells the best stories in the biz. And here you are, begging me to be on another show. There never as very interesting as yours.

Thank you. What else is in the news? I do not know and I don't choose to know. Are you staying away from the news? I've decided for the next four years that I don't want to hear a certain person's voice. And so I am actively avoiding it. And it's sort of like, you know, the Whamageddon where you avoid hearing last Christmas, I gave you my heart, you know? Right, right, right.

I'm actively avoiding it. And it's hard, man. You got to be, you got to have, always have the remote control. You have to have discipline. Yeah. I discovered over the course of eight years that reading the news and getting outraged and upset did not change the outcome of the news in any way. Right. Well, eventually Obama, you know, gave it. over to the next person so you were finally thanks Obama for finally getting out of here that is all

we kid we kid of course we don't talk about who we voted for on this show we keep that close to the we save that for your below deck podcast that's right yeah everything is out in the all right it's voting time what do you think about that when they when they split up the tips and they're all and it's always

like they say all right this trip we made 20 000 and everyone goes And then the next trip they go, this trip we made 21,000. And they all go, yeah! And they're disappointed over basically splitting up between eight of them $1,000.

Yadis are a mercurial lot. You own a moody. You own a boat. I do own a boat. As discussed in your book vacation. Anyone out there who was wondering if I was Caucasian, now you know, I do own a boat. and it is sometimes moored in the state of Maine.

That's right. And how often are you getting out on that boat? Well, when we are in the state of Maine, almost every day, we will go out and row around in our boat. And how often... What else is there to do? How often there... Oh, sometimes I go candlepin bowling, but that's another story. How often there do you drain your main vein?

Almost every day. We row out to the middle of the harbor so that I might drain my main vein. Well, vacation land and, of course, medallion. Status are both in stores now. Anywhere of fine books are sold. Anywhere books are sold, borrowed, or stolen. That's right. Are they in libraries?

Unfortunately. Really? They're stealing from me, of course. Well, yeah. You can get the audiobook of all of my books on Libby, which is the public library audiobook. And you can also get e-book. Interesting.

Through Libby. Very interesting. I'm not plugging Libby, but. But this is a very interesting story. That's why I'm talking about it. Well, those are both great books. Thank you. It's been a minute since you've written one, though, because it feels like maybe, let me guess when medallion status came out.

All right, let's guess. 20. Wrong? 19. I'm guessing the year, John. Excuse me. What did you think I was guessing the specific day? I thought you were guessing 2020, which would be, I thought you were going with the last two years.

Remember how we used to refer to you? years by the last two years? That all changed in the year 2000. Now we had to start. Like people aren't going around going, oh, one, no two. But we did stop saying the year 2000 and blank.

That's right. Which was a real thing until the middle of the last decade or so. So now we're saving time. Just saying 20, whatever. The year, 2019 was the publication year. That's what I was going to guess and you just gave it away. Fuck,

I would have been right. I didn't want to give you the prize. No one's ever guessed correctly. And the competition continues, everyone. What is it about writing a book? Because Vacation Land and Medallion Status came pretty close after one another. Vacation Land feels like 2017, maybe. Absolutely right.

Unfortunately, we don't have a prize for that book. And then, of course, as established, 2019 for Medallion Status, then six years goes by, no books from Johnny Hodge. That's absolutely right. What is happening? Well, David Reese and I made two seasons of a cartoon for Hulu called Dick Town, which are still on Hulu and we'll see how long. See how much hard drive space they have. I think it's too late to get a tax write off, so they might leave it up there for a little while. And that took up some time, but yeah, no, I'd like to read another book. I just, you know what I need is an idea. Well, it's not like

anything's happened over the past six years since you wrote the last one. A bunch of the things that have happened over the past six years, I don't want to think about them. I don't want to spend time alone with my thoughts so much as I used to, perhaps. I understand. But if I have an idea and and maybe let's talk to some of your guests let's throw out some ideas right here right here before we go to break let's just throw out ideas go for it please okay a robot yeah who is that's it don't that's it no more just a robot no okay go ahead I'd like to see where you're going okay a robot who thinks that he or she or they have achieved sentience right thinks they have realizes that they haven't.

Right. And start doing a podcast with Jack Wade, of all people. Okay. I like where you're going with this. Isn't that interesting? And it's about below deck. This would be a weird. Below decks.

Below deck period. I got to look this out. Go ahead. Hold on. I dare you. It's below decks, isn't it? It is not. You're right.

It's below deck. I knew I would be right. The singular deck. Although there are many below deck franchise. That's like Mediterranean. Mediterranean, old school. Australia? Down under, they call it.

Down under. Can you do an Australian accent? Absolutely not. Well, of course, John Hodgman is here. He has the Judge Sean. When are you going to realize that you're not sentient? I don't know. It's going to happen.

And so, I mean, we're, we just broke off another Honda. We're in 900 episodes. This is our 1,000th Hondo. Wow. And it's going to happen at some point. How many episodes of your show have you done? The Judge Sean Hodgman podcast, be a moment? Sean Hoffman.

John Sean Shodgman. John Shon. Look, I'm the first to acknowledge it's a terrible name for a podcast. It's impossible to say. And so it is almost hilarious to know that we've done almost 700. 700.

Wow. That's an achievement. Congratulations. It's not very interesting. As far as I'm concerned, it's the most interesting topic there is. But it comes out every Wednesday on Maximum Fund.org. How many episodes at The Simpsons are there?

About 700. How many episodes of the first, it gives me below deck. It's actually not the Simpsons. It's the Simpsons. Oh, interesting. 781 episodes. You'll get there. They only do 20 a year, if that.

You know what? I remember one season they put out one. They were like, that's all we go. Maybe they'll give me the chance that I gave Justin Long to catch up. Stop for a while and they'll catch up. Well, the judge, Sean Hoffman podcast is out there. and people can get it. Co-created by Jesse Thorpe.

That's right. And available at maximum fund.org. That's right. We need to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have some deep-sea adventurers. We're going to have an entrepreneur. This is a packed show.

Maybe I'll get an idea for a book. That's right. Yeah, we should ask each of our guests if they have an idea for you. Well, I mean, it's your podcast. You can decide. I decided it. I said I wanted to do it.

That is all, then. Okay, that is all. Shall I take us out? Please take us to a commercial. All right, we're going to a commercial now. And that, as we always say, is all. Mate. Comedy Bang Bang,

we're back with Judge John Hodgman. See how easy it is. But then I fucked up easy right afterwards. You can get the name right, but then anything you say afterwards is going to be incorrect. If you listen to the podcast, you will learn that is exactly what happens. Say my own name, and then I'm going to. go blank for about 30 minutes.

This is an enticement to listen to your show, but I don't know that I'm going to take you up on it. Well, you know what? Maybe some of your listeners won't. I'm too busy making the things. I can't listen to yours. I understand completely. How often do you listen to this thing? What's that?

How often do you listen to this thing? This comedy bang bang, yeah. Religiously every week. No, you don't. If I did, I could do an Australian accent. That's true. I'm not sure why. And we need to get to-

But I do, but Scott. God, damn it. Did you hear me dismounting from you? You didn't say that as all. All right, go ahead. I adore the podcast and I adore you and I hope that you someday achieve sentience. I adore you. I want to hear your show at one point.

I think I heard one episode. I think it was great. Then you did your bit. Yeah, I did my part. Absolutely. I added to those early ratings. Yeah. Which put you over the hump.

Oh, absolutely. Set you up for life. We've been over the hump for a long time now. We got that, Ackerman hump. Well, we need to get to our next guest. And, you know, we were saying that we need story ideas for your next book. And ideally, one of these guys is the master of story. And another guy is, I guess, like an army guy.

But put them together. They're both deep sea adventurers. We want to welcome them back to the show. Please welcome back James Cameron and Jake Sully. I'm king of the world. I'm king of the world, Scott. I'm glad to be back. The disrespect right out of the gate is astonishing.

Is that an Australian accent? No, I'm American. We don't know this. I sound American all the time. That's right. You are an American. I'm an American. That's my catchphrase.

You were part of the U.S. Army? No, what the fuck is this shit? What armed forces were you? Didn't you get your legs blown off in a war or something? No. My brother, I became paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. I believe. My brother.

was an RDA trooper. They built an avatar off of him, my twin brother. He died. Very expensive. The only way to recoup the investment was to put me in there. I'm not an army guy. I'm an American. Is that what that movie is about?

Scott, what the fuck? It's the most beloved successful movie of all time. We're, of course, talking about the Avatar franchise of which there are two movies currently released, but there is a third one coming when? Just in time for Christmas, Scott. We're starting the promo tour right here right now. So by December 25th? We are set to release Avatar the 3rd, December 19th, six days before the birth of Christ, celebrated.

And we have been at the bottom of the ocean putting this film together. You've been putting it together at the bottom of the ocean? That's where the edit bay is. That's where the edit bay is at the bottom of the ocean. And Scott, I'm talking about the very bottom of the ocean. All the way down. So deep. deep in the ocean. So deep put your ass to sleep? Do I put my ass to sleep? What's that

mean? That's just a euphemism for how deep one can get. Up in the guts of that ocean, or down in the guts, I should say. We are so excited. We've been down there. We've been putting it together. It's with some exciting stuff. It looks incredible and we're finally ready to start promoting it. Before we do so in earnest, Scott. I would appreciate an apology. I would also, I would also like an Apology, Scott. Do you want an apology for the same thing? Your history of rudeness and disrespect to our film franchise, but more specifically, in the first segment, I heard you say that you're trying to game out how you spend the next four years avoiding hearing that voice. That you don't want to hear it.

You're going to block it out. And that clearly is a reference to the fact that two more Avatar films are coming out in the next four years. Oh, I don't know that I was necessarily talking about you. I mean, look, I've talked about it before. I'm not a fan of these films. The Dolson American tones of Jake Sullivan. You've only seen, you've only seen two of them, to be honest. I think it's a little early to be declaring that you're not a fan.

We're not even one yet. And that's coming from the judge himself, John Hodgman. Josh Scha. We have been. Shashing. We have shut. We've been living in the world of the Navi. We've been living in the avatar world.

What is the, what is the planet called again? Pandora. Pandora. Don't look to each other to remind yourself. We know. We're just giving each other support. We know. Yeah.

We're very isolated here talking to you because we know you, you think you don't like these films because you've seen a fraction of what the Avatar franchise does to offer. I guess you're right. You can't judge something on just the first, like if it was a normal film, it'd be 90 minutes. You can't judge it on the first minute or so. I can. The next. But not everyone.

The next film is going to be 192 minutes long, same as Boy of Water. And we're excited because, you know, we wanted, we know, we. We've been looking around to see some glum faces. We came up from the ocean. You've been looking around down underwater? Since we came up. Scott, follow the narrative. This is basic storytelling.

We came up from the bottom of the ocean. We're looking around. We see some glum faces. What happened here? What's going on? So you just walk me through this. You're in the bottom of the ocean. A little floatosphere or whatever you guys are editing.

You come up, you pop up. Is there a periscope first? Wait, are you doing post-production underwater too? Correct. Yeah. Okay. It's not going to sound right if we do it on land. And Avatar is being released in the most formats of any movie ever, so we have to do like 25 different post-production processes. Understandable. So you... American. Is there a periscope first or where you're looking around and you see the glum faces or...

We'll do a periscope just to check. Yeah. And then we posted on periscope. And then James sticks his finger outside the top of the submarine just to test the temperature. Yeah. The wetest finger possible. And if it's if it's a temperature you don't like, do you go back down? Yeah, correct. Fortunately, we liked the temperature when we came up. We did. We said it feels warm out there and we got up. We saw all these glum faces. We came right.

Here are the glum faces. Here in Los Angeles. We came right to your studio. Straight here. No stops. To start the promo tour. I wondered why you're sopping wet. People could use some escapism right now.

Right now we want to cheer people up. So we are here to talk about the next Avatar, Avatar, Fire and Ash. Fire and Ash. We don't know how people are sad, but we want to give them some. entertaining escapism. Fire and ash coming this Christmas. Fire and ash. Just in time for Christmas.

This is going to be, this is going to be the feel-good event of the year, even though some bad things happen in it. It's going to light up across this great country. Is it? Okay. And these great countries. As I recall, the first one was set in like the jungle, and it was a movie about a bunch of people or creatures

who stuck their ponytails into each other's butts. And then... Not quite. The second one was all, like set underwater and it was about the same guys who were just kind of like swimming around and then this one everyone's on fire?

Is that what I? A bunch of new guys. I had like five children. Do you think that people want to see people on fire with what's been happening in Los Angeles? First of all, superb summary. Yeah. Thank you. I mean, if you have to, if you have to break it down to the very big.

The elevator pitch is really what it's all about. You know, Aukerman's famous in this Hollywood town for writing loglines. Mm-hmm. Top logline guys. Ghost writes all the loglines in town. A movie needs summarizing? You're a logline guy.

I'm a logline guy. That's I think in loglines. That's the short form storytelling. They call me Johnny Ellicit, that is all. And they call him Scotty Logline, that is all. You know, some people like long form improv. Some people like short form, you know, blackout sketches at 30 seconds. That's what I like.

What's your favorite movie, Scott? Yeah. Favorite movie? First of all, there was that one with the train coming right towards the camera. Very scary. Sorry, just thinking about it, scared me. Oh, I thought you were worried of being spoiled. It did say whether or not it stops.

It misses the camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I saw the first minute of us. Okay, give me the log line for that. And then give me what you put on the poster. Okay, so logline, several onlookers are very perturbed by the side of a train coming towards them, wondering if it'll hit them. All right, not bad.

Now, give me what's on the poster. Train yourself to be. terrified. Fuck this Christmas. See, what did I tell you? Wait a second. I know we got a lot of promotion to do. He's not just logline guy.

He's tagline guy. Can we retroactively? What would you have thrown on that fucking Titanic one sheet? Titanic probably, if you like the first three letters, Kate Winslet's going to show them. Can I tell you what?

Can I tell you what? Because, you know, you think that you've earned a certain amount of respect in this business. You'll ship both of these characters. people did, didn't they? That's a B poster. I, and this is part of the reason why I insisted on having tagline and logline approval for avatars

because I was so upset that Titanic rejected the studio, 20th Century Fox. They were terrified. Sure. They thought, is this going to work? Will people like it? And I said, here's what goes on the poster. Not everybody likes to go down. Mm-hmm.

And then my pitch was an arrow pointing up to my face and saying, but this guy sure does. Wait, this is for Titanic? Your face was on the poster? It was sort of seating later. I just said, and 20th Century Fox said, no way. No way to see on the poster.

Why is Jake Sully on this? Because he likes to go down. He's not even a character. He loves it. No. What do you mean? I mean, he existed in your imagination at this point. Did you exist before this podcast started?

The Avatar films take place in a far away world. Yeah. In the future? Really deep in the future. Deep in the future. Really deep. Yeah.

Same timeline though. What do you think about finding Nemo and Shark Tale? They walked so you could run. Well, they swam so that we could dive. Yeah. So swimming is the early version of diving? Yeah. Yeah.

I like those movies. Those movies are pretty wet. Yeah. So you like wet things. I like wet movies. You like wet movies. What about wet treasure? Wet treasure.

I know a guy, you would get along with this guy really well. This guy, Brock Love it. He loves wet treasure. What treasure? Tell me more. I'm excited. I'm interested. If he sees some dry treasure on land, he'll walk by it. He does not give it the time of day. Will he kick it into the ocean so he can go down and get it again? That's his little workaround, honestly.

That's relatable. That's relatable. That's relatable. See, like, wet movies. We're talking splash. Yeah, pretty wet. That's the Onomatopoeia version of, like, diving into the ocean, is it not? Mm-hmm. Yeah, if Ronnie Howard had made that film, that might have been what we call Titanic. probably better off with the title. Well, the problem is Titanic, you think, oh, box office disaster. You can see, you can see the doubts.

You can go wrong. Where a splash. Ooh, makes a big splash. Do you ever consider like, here comes the burg? Mm-hmm. Yeah, but then there was the movie, the burbs, and we were worried that people would mishear it and think, here comes the burbs. Sounds like a sequel. I remember when Kevin James, here comes, the boom was coming out.

James and I were holding hands all weekend because we were like, if this thing opens to 150 million, we're going to feel like fucking idiots. Yeah. And when it opened below 10, it was like, okay, we went the right way. Although here comes the boom could also be the alternate title to Titanic. For a hot second, we were going to call it Ice Tribe, Big Boat. And then, and then, and we were hot on that title for a hot. And by the way, it was testing well. It was testing through the roof.

It was testing really well. Here's my question. James and sorry, sit this one out. What's your name? Jake Sully? I'm Jake Sully. I'm the biggest movie star of all time. I'm the highest grossing actor in history. You're not an actor, you're a character, though. What's the fucking difference, my man?

You're a real actor, there is no difference. That's a good point. That's a good point. That is all. You make this movie about with water and water, we all know, when we freeze it, it becomes ice. Yeah. Ice, baby. And then you're like, let's do some more of that with this last avatar.

All this will be explained. You know, one of the things that we're excited about, I know last time we announced that we would be progressing the number of avatars that come out exponentially. Yeah. To where pretty soon all movies would be Avatar. Yeah, I mean, all movies. The hope is to eventually fold back in, start carving up the movies that already exist that weren't intended to be Avatar. Right. Tight Avatar.

Yeah. Taitavatar. Well, not just my movies. I know, but really any. Yeah. It's a wonderful avatar. Yeah. Yes.

Although we want to be careful because the way that the L rolls over. Lavaatar sounds like... Lavatory. Yes. And that will be a movie that we make. We will be making... One of the avatars will be called lavatory. Lavitari.

Lavitari. Because to be honest... I've watched these movies and I've wondered, where does Jake Sully go to the bathroom? You know, it's like a jungle planet. Where does he go? I'll tell you where he goes. Wherever he wants.

Thank you. And that's true on set. on the world. That's true on set. I go James hand me a Voss bottle. Are you doing, are you pulling a jimbalushi where you're just allegedly, allegedly. Look, sometimes I'm pulling a jimbalushi. Sometimes I'm pulling a Danny Thomas. Sometimes I'm pushing, pulling a Dwayne the Rock Johnson. I go whatever I'm on. Chuck Berry ever? Yeah, a couple times. Day one, day one on fire and ash. We're getting ready for the first take. Yeah. Speed sound, rolling. Sure. I know the terms. Yeah. I know the jargon. We're ready to go.

Jake turns to me and says, James, hand me a priceless Ming vase. Wow. Now, I happen to have one with me. Sure. You have a collection, I'm sure. Yeah. And I said, I said, James, get Bob Eager on FaceTime right now. I want him to see this.

So he knows who's boss. Right. Yeah. And you just relieved yourself right into the vase. Absolutely. Wow. That's- It went up in value.

Whoa. Wow. But it's priceless. So how does it go up in value? It's priceless. Plus. So it would be two. Two prices.

Unimaginable prices. Pressless. Oh, you got to do is not be able to imagine two things. Yeah. I don't think that I have the capacity to do that. Oh, I know that you don't. Scott. Yeah.

It's like a David Fincher 7. I can't wait to pull this podcast into the Avatar series. Why are you talking at the same time? We have so much to say on a press tour. If we're going to talk at the same time, you can just take the stems. We take the stem. We'll try to say. Try to separate whatever it was, you both said.

You were talking about the David Fincher 7. Sorry, we're so deep in mixing. We're using mixing lingo, sound mixing lingo. Steams. The stems of the mix. Can I ask this movie Fire and Ash? Escapeism. Are there matches in this world?

Yes. Yeah. Underwater? Yes. Yeah. Go on. There's also much.com. Match.com, really?

So like, Jake Sully, are you out there, like, going on? I'm a married man. I have children. My family's a fortress. I don't know. You don't know. know about Naitiri? Is that a character?

Is that a character? Scott. She's the most successful actress of all time. Are we talking Zoe Saldania? Yeah. Uh-huh. It's about to win an Oscar, maybe. We'll find out.

We'll find out. The till day is now pronounced. That's true. But she's my wife. She's your wife in these films. I'm not signing up for Match.com. I'm a loyal man. But your kids are or something?

I don't know. My kids are many things. things. They're my fortress. Loak, took. My son who died. What's that character's name? We're not going to talk about him. Scott, don't do that. That's not what this is. Don't do that. He's not the next

one. I can't wait to fold this podcast into the avatar. We'll never forget him, but we'll never say his name. This avatar is not going to be part of the avatar. Eventually, we're going to get your whole back catalog, your whole library. We're going to fold it. We're going to get the book. We're going to fold the book in. It's going to be published. Second edition, it'll be have an avatar logo at the top.

No. Comedy, that's Ravitar, Bavitar. I don't want to be part of the avatar. Avatar bang bang. I don't like these things. Comedy death, Ravitar. These are stupid movies. Not everyone likes them. I'm going to take it.

I cannot name a single person who has ever liked one minute. James Cameron. Jake Sully. That's two right there. We just did it. We just priceless times two. I'm going to take your last name. I'm going to take the A.

I like it so much. I'm going to take the U. I'm going to squeeze it till it's a V. I'm going to take the K. I'm going to make another A out of them. I'm going to take the. No, I'm going to take the top stem. I'm going to break it off.

I'm going to put it in so it's in between. So you've got another little R. You're going to be Scott Avatar man. This is the thing. You need to understand. It's so close. It's so close. It's very close.

It takes very little effort. I do it without breaking a sweat. James is a conservationist, right? So he doesn't like wasting things. I won't waste your name. I will use it to make a new avatar. He's using every part of the Buffalo. So when we're changing these titles, we're not hitting delete once.

We're recrafting the letters. Comedy splash flash. That's funny. And what font is this? This is in the... Oh, yeah. the papyrus. Propriotary font.

I'm papyrus the font we use. Well, guys, I wish you luck with these. We don't need luck. We don't need luck. These are already the most successful things. Most anticipated movie. Yeah, but each one that comes out, you guys got to be thinking like, when does everyone realize that these are stupid, right?

I mean, like, that's got to be in the back of your mind. I can't relate to your experience. Maybe that's what happens every time you record an episode. We watch. I mean, honestly, yeah. This is still. I'm thinking this might be the one. In all seriousness, Scott, I get that you're making a joke.

I get that's what you do. That's what you do. I made true lies. I know how to make a comedy. That's true. That gets them wet. That's funny. Well, guys, Avatar 3, Fire and Ash comes out.

Fire and Ash. December, what did you say? 19th. December 19th, people can see it in 3D, I would imagine. High frame rates. You ever going to add a dimension? Yeah, we're working on it. Like, just squirt water on people.

That's 40. 40x. Yeah. No, we have it. So whenever there's a gunshot, it blows on you. Yeah. Sometimes it punches you in the back. Yeah.

These aren't bits. This is just real. We're describing what 4DX is. Whenever there's a gunshot, it goes, and it blows on your neck. We're working on 5DX, though. What's the fifth dimension? Stick the ponytail in the put.

That's right. I'm sorry. Stick the ponytail in the hand hold. Or else it gets the hose again, of course. Well, guys, I wish you love. with this your creative endeavors we need to take a break

can you stick around I mean I know you're so successful and you need to get back to the editing but there's still some glum faces over here yeah

we're gonna take a break when we come back we have an entrepreneur we'll have more John Hodgman will have more James Cameron and

Jake Zahey motherfucker fucking we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang yeah

comedy bang bang we have John Hodgman here rock and tour X of the Daily Show. You're going to go back to the daily show? I mean, John Stewart is back, I guess. And did you get the call of like, hey, come on back and do the thing that you used to do? No. All right. Well, but I'd love to if they decide to call. But they're very busy and I am not reading the news. So it might not be the best. It might not work out. We also have James Cameron and Jake Sully are here in the world. Let's get to our next guest.

She's an entrepreneur. This is exciting. Never been on the show before. Please welcome Kitty C. Joy, Say. Aw, hi. Hi. Hello. Thank you so much for having me. It's so good to meet you. This is John Hodgman over here. How do you do? And James Cameron and...

I just got a hug. Fictional character, Jake Sully. Real movie star, though. I love that. And hi, James Cameron. Hello. I have some products for you. Oh.

Products? Okay. What is it? I assume these are products that you sell? Is that... Yes. So I have open a skins care product line of skins care products.

Skins care. So we all know what skins is. Like epidermis? The organ that is surrounding our body. The largest organ in the human body of it depends on who you're talking about. Hey Scott we can agree on that. That is such a good way. We're high-firing now. So I have a line of skins cares. That is scientifically proven. Proven to be scientific. And It is full of product. But here's the thing.

How many products have you seen that have so many ingredients? Like we're talking 200, 300 things in there. A jam packed, right? They're jam packed with things. Like, what is this? What is Sea War 7, six? You know? Yeah.

So I've made products that are full of just five ingredients that involve one very specific, scientifically proven thing. I have a question. Okay. Okay. What does skins eat? Huh. Guess what's in here? Other skins. That's true. I mean, skin particles are everywhere.

Scents particles is in everything. But those have never been taken down into one scientifically proven ingredient to put into a product to help skins eat more skins. Oh, okay. So the first ingredient in your product would be skin. Skin. Skin. Okay. Great. So you're, this is what type of product is this again? Skins care. Skins care. Yes.

So this is a, some sort of a product you put on your skin. That is right. And the first ingredient is skins. Skins. Okay, got it. So skins, usually some candy fruit like a pumpkin granite or a niron, something, and then something else like chicken push. And then other two minerals. Can I just ask one follow question here?

I would love that. And I would love that. So I love the five ingredient cap. Thank you because that, if you can count it on one hand, I say, yes, put it, get high five. Yeah. Cool. I got big hands. So count it, five it, spread it on your hand.

That's it. I love that. I'm going to eat. Is that? Yeah, that's great. Go for it, please. That is all. It sounds like the other skins is like the cornerstone ingredient that's going to be in every bottle.

That's right. Other skins. And it sort of makes it sound, the way you just described it, like the other four ingredients are kind of a free-for-all based on whatever's closest at that time. I do like whatever's in grasp. I have, but it's all proven by science. There were just quite a few maybes when you were listing. Minerals, right?

Maybe this will be in it, maybe this will be in it. So is every bottle different? Yes. So that's four ingredients. Skins, Neurana, chicken push, minerals. Two different kinds of minerals. You have to listen when I explain me. Okay.

So two different kinds of minerals. One is scientifically proven and one we're still waiting to find out. What I respect about what you do is the timid wait to figure out what's safe. and the bold forge ahead and prove what's safe. But isn't that way life is? That is exactly. It's emerging of what we know and what we don't now. I hope you're writing this down, Scott.

Why would I be writing something down in the middle of a podcast? If I really wanted to remember it, I'd go listen to it again. And I'm not going to. You have a whiteboard right next to your mixing board. I know you don't want people to know about that. Scott, take that pen out. It's just to remember Jake Sully's name. I think you're to be commended for what you do.

Thank you. So I have products that are, but I would love to be the sponsor for Comey Bang Bang. Okay. That's why I'm so excited to be here today because I've been really trying to get meaning in with you. I really want to be the skins care product of Kobey Bang Bang. Oh, please don't. You're tearing up right now. Her face is so wet.

I'm so excited about it. James, you're so excited right now. Her face is so wet. Can we try this before I agreed anything? I have a product here for you. I do have to. This is water soluble? Yes, it is.

Because I'm going to get, I'm in the ocean. It's actually really good for the waters. So, yeah, so that one is Naranha. Neuronha. That one's chicken skins. This is chicken skin plus skin? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Chicken skin, regular skin. This is a good burn. Yeah, it feels great in my pony. And then those two minerals. This is very coarse. A little bit of chicken push. And then. Maybe a little bit of chicken push.

Just a little bit. Yeah, I have a different time. I just remembered that I have an intense chicken push allergy. So how maybe are we on this? Because I put this stuff all over my face now. So I have a scientist looking into that and I'll let you know by the end of the amount of gas. I got to say mine that you gave me, my sample is mainly mineral. It's just like a rock.

Okay. Well, that's good. That's lucky, actually, if you get just mineral. But it feels bad when I try to apply it to my face. What you're doing right now is called sluffing. Is it really red right now? It is. It means it's working.

It's working. That means it's working. Working incorrectly, though? No, working, right? Okay. Can I tell you all a secret? Yeah, please. Tell us a secret.

So I bet you're wondering, how, how, how, how, how am I able to come up with all these ideas? I have a question. Yeah. How, how, how? Are you able to come up with these ideas? He's swelling a bit, but that is normal. Yeah, it's normal. That is actually.

Why aren't we swelling a bit? It works different on every person. Okay. And so, and you're having a swelling reaction, which this means it's working. Okay. So you're wondering, how do I get all anxiety else? Yeah. I have a secret.

So wait, the secret is that you have a secret? Yes. Okay. Tell us this secret. Do you have another secret? I have another secret holding that secret. Holy shit. What is the third secret?

I have someone special who lives in my home. You have someone special who lives. lives in your home. Yeah, and that's a secret. Like a roommate? An in-law? No. A pet?

No. Kind of. No. Okay, let me tell you. Are you want to know? Yeah. I think we're out of guesses. Okay.

It's an ester treasheasheal. An E. Have you guys seen E.T? Did you ever wonder where that thing went? Yeah. I think it went ostensibly back to its home planet. We didn't see him get there, though. That's true.

We saw him get in the spaceship. How do we? know he landed. They were cowards. They ended at one. Okay, he did go home, but then he was like, uh, not anymore. I'm going back. Hey, can I a sideball with you for one moment? Yeah. This is a sidebar? Yeah, just quick sidebar guys. Absolutely. Yeah. So the, the ET who lives with you is the E. It is the E.T, but he has a name. What's his, what's E. What's E. T's name? Plinko. Pinko. Pinko? Plinco, like the Price is Right game? Or Pinko, like what we used to call communists?

Oh, well, I think it's the fun one. Yeah. Oh, Plinco. Yeah. That's what you said the first time. That worked out well. Yeah, Plinko. Plinko.

Plinko. And you know what his planet's called? What? Supi Gugu. Suppy Goo. Yes. So Plinko from Supi Kuku is here in Hollywood now? Yes, he lives in my home.

Is he? And just sidebar quickly. Is he taking? This doesn't need to be a sidebar. These are the questions we all want to know. Sidebar. This is personal. Yes.

Scott, why they're going to be a sidebar. Do you have an epipen because I'm getting tired of this? Yeah, I think I have an epipan somewhere here. Here, wait, try this. Oh, here. Actually, I have another cell for you that's going to fix that. No, thank you. Here, here.

Can I just jab you with it here? Ah! God! I pulled fiction-styled right in the heart. That is all! Okay. Is Plinko taking meetings? Is he trying to get work?

I'll talk to him about that. Okay, because I've just kind of... Yeah, he's amazing. I know, but we're kind of dating, but... You're dating Plinko? Yeah. How does that... I mean, you know, how's that work?

You're two different species, I guess. Okay, so remember when he put on that outfit and he could go out... During Halloween. On Halloween. Yeah, he was a ghost. Is that right? He was a terrorist. He was a terrorist?

Well... Well, the kids were terrorists. They were all terrorists. He was a ghost, was he not? He was a ghost. Yeah, he put a sheet over. Yeah, like ghost protocol. He was a terrorist.

So he is just, sometimes he puts on wigs. And, and. Like when he was in the closet? Yeah, it looked like a lady. Yeah. And so one day he did that. And I was like, you're hot. And then we started dating.

Yeah. He's making the products with him. Well, he is helping me co-create. Yeah. And he, he's been the one who's really talked about, like, hey, you guys quit it with the SPS. Like things are, the sun is now on your side. Well, yeah, I mean, he's got a really brown, wrinkly body, so he doesn't care of his, you know.

Hey, that's my boyfriend. I beg your, I mean, but you like it. I love it. Yeah. So, I mean, that's a compliment. I know, but isn't that funny that his wrinkly body is helping me make skins? Are you harvesting wrinkly plinkgo skins for your skin screen? Well, I'm scientifically proving those now.

Yeah. I've been sending them to the sciences. To the sciences? Yeah, to the lapse. And they're going to let me know by the end of the podcast. And Plinko helped you develop this because it's his skin. And did he give you the technology for the mineral that doesn't really exist? I think he, yeah, he brought that mineral down from Soupy Goo.

And I think that with that is where we've really been able to expand and think about what could this be. So this is almost like, you know, kryptonite. Yes. In a way, a mineral that doesn't exist here on Earth. Exactly. We don't have a name for it yet. Okay. But it could be Soupy Goo Goo Goo.

O' Night or something like that. To be Gugu, we actually have tried to push that name out, but we almost got sued. By, by. By, oh, because of Goop. Because of Goop. I would be careful. She owns GEO now. I would be careful even saying.

Yeah, that's why babies never say that anymore. They never say Goo Goo anymore. I would be really careful, you guys. I'm sorry. I'm just trying again. I would, I think she copyrighted like going down and wishing. People that sue her to have a nice life as well. Hey, excuse me.

I copyrighted going down if you catch my drink. All right. Check the poster. I don't want to high five again. So what is... Sorry, but E.T. I'll sit. Fuck. E.T. really?

Yeah. Go. I take that maybe T.M.I. B.T. go down? Yeah, E.T. go down. Is it uncomfortable for him because he's got that long neck? No, I think that really helps him. I think it's N-E-I.

Any I. What? N-E-I? Not enough information. Is... Oh. Right. Yeah

EP extrapolate please Or elaborate I should have said What kind of humorous am I? Yeah really Okay I have another little secret You have another secret

I mean this is the effect I gotta say chicken push This was huge already The fact that ETI has come back He's from a planet named Supi Gugu His name is Plinko Yeah

And he's going down on you on the reg And he's taking meetings around town Yeah these are huge Huge revelation Not with Netflix This one's a little bit Good for him TMI

but in your, maybe not in ITIT. And any eye, thank you. That's it. Some of the products have been tested and scientifically proven using Plinko's excretions. Okay. Excretions. J's. I mean, as excretions go, that's one of the better ones?

I know. I'm so I'm just saying that you all have put that on you today. and you're glowing. I thought you meant the way you tested them was that Plinko would jizz on the product. That's how I interpret it. Because you said some of these have been tested using his jizz.

Right. That he would ejaculate. To see if it was jizz resistant. I think what Kitty C. Joy's say is trying to say is that they've tested them and found that there is his ejaculate within. Yes. And it is particularly effective for what?

It is effective for antirinca. Anti-Rinkle. Yeah. I mean. doesn't he does he jizz on himself then? He's very wrinkled. Maybe he likes his wrinkles like you do. I think he does. Yeah. I think he really likes it. I think he embraces it. And I think that that's also a good message. You got to love yourself. You got to love yourself first. I think it's a good message for the world. Also, I mean, we could all be jizzing on ourselves and looking fantastic. Exactly. But we got to love

ourselves first. That's right. Learn a few tricks. Do we know how maybe he'd be even more wrinkled if he wasn't using the product? That's a good point. Like we we're seeing how wrinkled. Plinko is when he is gizzing on himself. This is him looking relatively BBS. Right. Baby bottom smooth. Yeah.

Right. Right. Thank you. To be honest. R. BBS. Relatively baby bottom. To be honest, if these crows feet would go away, then I would trade that

for having Plinko jizz in my face. Yeah. Or in these cups and I would smear it on my face. Whatever, whatever way. These cups? Well, that's what the... Those were... Those were a gift, Scott.

I know. Don't call them these cups. From these commemorative promotional, Avatar Fire and Ash cups? I didn't realize these were commemorative cups. I'm sorry. You didn't realize the giant logo that said Avatar Fire and Ash come in a theater as to I thank you for the gift side. They're shaped like a Navi handhole.

How do you not know that? I apologize. I meant just cups in general. The good news is I'm giving you all a gift basket giveaway to take away from you. We have to give them away? No, no. I'm giving them away to you. Wow. Right now what we are experiencing is the gift basket giveaway.

Yeah. You're about to receive a way. Can I ask a question about the pressure on these bottles? Sure. We're going to be taking these fathoms deep. I love that. That is scientifically proven that they will be absolutely 100% fine down there. So these are going to explode on the way down?

No, they've been flown. They've been sunk. Seated. Good. C. I mean, these have gone all the way to, what is it, soupy juby? Subi gooboo.

Soupy goooooo. Soupy gooey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soupy juby is a future avatar planet that I told you about in confidence. Don't say that on Mike. I apologize. Can we come to soupy juby? Because I've been dying to go there.

You're welcome. Okay, wait, can I say Bobo James for a second? Sure. I'm thinking, why treat them like competition? Let's fold them in. Let's fold them in. Let's get in Series A round on these products, but also. get Plinko in our movies, so he's not the competition.

Hey, guys, what are you talking about over here? Scott, respectfully, back all the fuck the way off. Is that it respectfully? Respectfully, Scott, I'd hate to hear you. This is still respectfully? Scott, from the bottom of my heart, you fucking hack, back off. Hack. I'm going to break you apart right now.

You crow-footed Android, back the fuck off. I have been. I have been listening to everything you were talking about, but the really good news is I'm really I'm going to keep in secrets. Okay. Oh. How would you like to join our universe? I would love it.

Oh, my God, James. And you think Plinko would be on board? I think he'd be on board. Does he like to go deep? Yeah. But like really deep. Yeah. It sounds like a good fit.

Yeah. You like trees? I love trees. You sound like a good fit. You like water? Oh, water. I got some great news for you. Yeah.

The Navi, the Dominant Spee. She's a planet Pandora. Yeah? They have so much skins. Glowing blue skins everywhere. I'm excited about that. This is a really good deal. Hey, John.

Yeah, what's up, Jake Sully? Shh. Sorry, sidebar. Quiet sidebar. Come over here. I'm thinking we could maybe benefit from folding him in on the steel. I mean, honestly, you know, I've been thinking of an idea for a book this whole time. How about we fold that book and you write the book on screen during Avatar 3, Fire and Ash?

Books fold. We could just have it. I could do a novelization slash pop-up book. You'd have just one camera on him as he writes the whole time in a pop-pop-in picture. Multi-screen experience. Guys, can I come over or? Oh. Come on.

We're still sidebarring, but yeah, I really like to be part of. You can come stand by the side of the sidebar. Okay. I really want to be a part of this. Fold you in? I'd love to be folded again. You want to get folded? I'd love, I mean, to be honest, I was a big fan of Plinkos when that movie came out, you know?

And I was crying when he left to go to Soupy Goo. We all were. And I would love to see him again. I'd love to like share the screen with him, even if it was like a pop-up video style of just, you know, me and him broing out down in the corner. He could be like a robot butler or something, right? And you cried at the end of the first avatar when my consciousness transferred from the home tree into the new new Navy body, right? Is that what happened during that? Jesus fucking.

Spoilers. Can I give you guys a movie quote and tell me if you know what movie it is? Oh, this is fun. Yeah. Okay. I didn't see anything. You're perfect. Avatar the Way of Water.

Let me do the voice. I didn't see anything. You're perfect. Yeah, I'm going to back him up. I think that's an audience member having just seen Avatar the Way of All. I think the first quote was someone in the lobby. Yeah. Because it was a little quieter, right?

The first person I didn't see anything. Yeah. He couldn't get into Avatar of the Way of Water. Sold out. And then you're perfect with someone in the theater. Walking out, thumbs up. Talking back to the screen. Here's another hint.

Okay. There's water involved. Something else you're obsessed with. I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything. Oh. You're perfect.

Hold on. Is it C-S-E-A? S-E-E-E? A? No. No. No matter how many E's. Hold on.

I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything. S-E-A? E. Could you say that you're perfect line again? You're perfect. And it's that big that you're perfect.

You kind of just stipulated really big. Yeah, yeah. I didn't see anything. You're perfect. Analyze this. Okay, here's another, here's another hint. There's an opening of a shower curtain. I didn't see anything.

Oh, this is Hitchcock. You're perfect. Yeah, psycho. Psycho. Psycho. Definitely psycho. The shower movie. Famous shower curtain.

Famous comedy. Did you say it was a comedy? Well. The bit is, guy, I didn't see anything. Open shower curtains. Seas naked lady. Turns around apologizes. I didn't see anything.

And then belies the fact that he did in fact see things by saying. You're perfect. Okay. Is this true lies? There are other movies. But he did see something, clearly. Yeah. Do you want to know?

Yeah. Do you want me to tell you the actor was? Yeah. Yeah, Plinko. Ronnie Dayner. feel? In ladybugs? No. Oh, God. What was his other big movie? Yeah. You win. You win a whole gift basket. No, thank you. Well, Kitty C-Joy Sage, I have to say, this is a wild, wild story. You're perfect. Thank you. Is it C-Joy, S-E-A? It is, S-E-A-A-J-A-J-A-J-A-J-A-J-A-J-A-M.

Oh, wow, okay. Surprised you didn't catch that, Jane. Amazing. I didn't catch that. Some fish get away from you. That's right. Are there ever more in the ocean? Really slippery, and that's the salves. Well, guys, we are running out of time. We only have time, unfortunately, for one final feature. That is, of course, a little something called plugs.

Oh, what do you do now the show's nearly done? And what will you do, my Scotty, the younger one? Will you go and avenge the ain't claimed by a hat? Will you go and open up the plug bag? Will you talk on and on about your broken foot affliction? We try and deny your anti-addiction Because it's a plug. It's a plug.

It's a plug. It's a plug. It's a plug bag. This song is done. Goodbye. That's a very akin to that as all. Bob Dylan? That was Bob Dylan.

Thank you so much to Bob Dylan for sending you. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. No, I actually, I believe Bob Dylan is working under a, what's the word for a pseudonym? Sudonym. Owen Walsh sent that in. That is a hard plug-s-a-guna-bag by Owen Walsh.

Thank you so much, guys. And when I say guys, I mean Owen. And what do we have here to plug? John, what? Well, you already mentioned my book's Vacation Landonadion Status. Judge John Hoffman, available Maximumphon.org.org. Every Wednesday, dick town on Hulu. But I was just reminded by that.

I'm also in this movie called A Complete Unknown. Oh. Yeah. I saw that. And you're in that? Yeah, it's a short scene. Is a whole scene? I play the...

How did I forget that you're in this? I play the ventriloquist dummy Charlie McCarthy. The loathsome coastal elite. And at some point, Bob Dylan, Timothy Chalameh. playing Bob Dylan snatches me out of Edgar Bergen's lap Oh right

And brings me out to the alley And kicks me until I'm Because he thinks that you're real And you are real I'm a loathsome coastal elite I represent the old guard In the authority and stuff All right wonderful

Well you check it out on the cutscenes Check that out in theaters And then Kitty see joy sage What do we plug in here? So I've heard that You can see things how do I do blogs? Well, what are you interested in?

Is there an artist that a creator or a TV show? Oh, yeah. I love the show, Matt Locke on CBS with Kathy Bates. Yeah. And she's undercover. Kathy Bates, the star of Titanic, I remember. Yeah. Suncable Molly Brown.

She's unsinkable. That's for sure. She's amazing. And then I heard that there's a show coming out this summer that you can, can start getting inside about now. Oh, okay. Are you worried people will get really excited and then just be excited for months and months and months and months? Well, I guess you're going to have to keep talking about it amongst yourselves until sometime this summer. It's never too early to promote something.

Yeah. Thank you. I can't wait for number 10. Yeah. So what, I mean, we should say what the title. Twisted metal. Twisted metal. Twisted metal. Yeah. Twisted metal. Now is that an avatar? Do we know? I mean, metal. Yeah, there's metal, the ships. Water. Things are twisting around, like, relationships and plots. Yeah. And the best way to twist metal is make it water.

Heat it up, make it liquid almost. Yeah. Alchemize something. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And then also I've heard there's like this really fun show at the ground lanes that is happening every Friday and Saturday night.

Okay. Call it Kissing. All right, people can go see that. All right, James Cameron and Jake Sully, what do you have to plug? Well, obviously this December 19th, Avatar Fire and Ash. Yeah, you can't miss it. And then on December 21st, now I know that sounds like just a few days. Is this 2026?

No, 2025. Okay. On December 19th, Fire Nash coming out. Okay, then two days later? Well, no. It seems like it might be because 19th to the December 6th, December 21st, but 2029, Avatar 4 will be coming out. And then back on December 19th, but two years after that, December 19th, 20131, Avatar 5 will be out. Right. And those are the only

five that have release dates at this point, but the rest of them will be coming out. No, they all have released dates. I didn't think you wanted me to regale. Okay, so on December 21st, yeah, 232, Avatar 6 will be coming out. Okay. On December 19th, 20th. Is it always 21st or 19th? No, no. Is it always December? The Way of Water came out on the 16th, and the original Avatar came out on the 18th.

We like December. On December 22nd of 2034, Avatar 8 is coming out. Are you still gonna be alive at this point? Yes. Oh. And then a year after that, on December 19th, December, that's when Avatar 7 is coming out. We're gonna release eight first before we were released. Before seven.

Okay. I want to remind you that you asked for this, Scott. The plug was over and you challenged him. I was going to plug three and they were like, is that all you have? Okay. We got more. James, I will remind you you had to go at a certain point. I have something I'd like to plug.

Yes. No, you have to stay here. You're the one talking so much. I'm not saying anything. All right. Jake, what did you want to? Well, I love movies, of course. I'm a big movie star.

Sure. And I want to support the culture. Just a big movie star? I mean, you said a big movie. World's biggest movie saw on history. There's a movie podcast I love, and more than the show itself, I love its fan base online. I love getting in there on the Reddit. You must be talking about Scott hasn't seen because they have a great fan base.

Blank check, actually. Oh, no. That's not the research that I have. Dueling podcast? I don't think so. I feel like there's been crossover. No. But then they became them.

It feels like the people who host them are friends with each other and yet the fans of each dislike. And the other fans. Correct. And the other hosts. And the other hosts. Yes. I just want peace. In 2023, there was an eternal truce settled between all white guys of movie podcasts.

Absolutely. I also You know, the Avatar movies get the biggest releases in the world. Giant Blockbusters everyone knows about. I want to shout out a movie that seems to be on the absolute opposite end of the spectrum. There's a movie I saw called Turn Me On that ostensibly went straight to VOD

and it's, from what I've heard, the actors in it only found out it had been released two days after it had been released. Oh, no. And are now sort of trying to do catch up on marketing, but it's like a dystopian sci-fi satire. Okay. Yeah.

I mean, it sounds... Bell Powell, Lee, Nick Robinson. Hmm, okay. Darcy Cardin. Okay. Patty Harrison. Ooh, great case. Some fuck named Griffin Newman.

Okay. And this is on VOD. It's a... Wherever people watch up. What's it called again? Turn me on. I can't wait to watch. And it's got Griffin Newman in it?

It does. Yeah. Turn it off, please. Scott, I'll also plug the Tiny Dino's podcast. Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. That's it. Wait, can I do one more movie quote?

Of course, yeah. Okay. Oh, Hian, you're so huge. Oh, Jan, you're so huge. Oh, Hian, you're so huge. You're going to like this, James. Is that from Avatar? No.

But he's going to like it. Is it wet? Wait. Maybe you won't like it. It's a my movie called Breaking Away. I thought it was breaking. I think so. The bicycling movie?

No, breaking waves. Breaking waves? I like it. I like it. That's why you like it. I like it. Oh, I have a movie quote. Here's my last thing. We're still in plugs, by the way. I know, but this is a backdoor plug. This is the movie quotes. See if you name the movie. That's not how you say that's not a knife. This is how you say this is a knife.

Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles. Very, very close. Crocodile Dundee. It's actually the title of my new book. that I just had an idea. Wow. That's not how you say that's not a knife. This is how you say this is a knife.

A break through. A memoir of a man learning Australian accent. James is getting comfortable. It's like he wants to say here for hours. I don't have anything to plug. That is all. That is all. We've got to close up the old plug back.

Here we go. Make your dream, pin it up and let yourself be true. You got to open up and see all the plus because it's not. Time to close it up just yet. Please don't. All right. That was quite good.

Let's open this bag by Barnacle Joe. Thanks, Barnacle Joe. If you want to upload a plug theme, go over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs, and you can do it. Also, while you're at CBB World, get the Randy and Chris action figures. I didn't get a chance to put that in plugs. But guys, we're out of time. I want to thank you so much. John Hodgman.

Wonderful to have you. Thank you. So nice to see. And. James County. Kitty. Unfortunately, I erased your name here on my board. C-Joy, Sage.

S-C-E. So wonderful to meet you. Good luck. And I'd love to meet Plinko at some time. Oh, bring him by. Bring him by. I would love that. And then James Cameron and Jake Sully.

Always glad. We'll always come back. We love the show. Syvaco. And guys, to be honest, I'm a huge fan. Here we go. We know. King of the World.

King of the World. Love the Avatar movies. Yeah, you do. You know what I mean? I get it. I'm one of the guys who gets. I get one of the guys who gets. I get one you joke.

I love that. I love that I get it. Notoriously good sense of humor on this guy. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Bye. That is all.